LGBT Rights and Youth Work: Battling Homophobia and bullying among youth

Publisher: Regional Info Center Belgrade, Serbia E-mail: gayecho@gmail.com Web: www.gayecho.com

Partners: Outreach Hannover e.V. (OH) – Germany Youth Power (YP) – Bosnia and Herzegovina Association for improvement of modern living skills “Realization” – Croatia

Battling homophobia and bullying among youth LGBT rights and youth work Editor: Predrag Azdejković Designer: Centar za jačanje civilnog društva Cover photo: Sanketh Rao

This manual consists of interactive trainings that are modified for the work with adults and tackling problems the LGBT+ community is facing. For creating this manual coaching materials were used, which were made for a training course within the project “Battling homophobia and bullying among youth”, results from conducted trainings and work of participants, hence the Manual for non-violent conflict solution training and for work with adults “Non-violence?” published by the Center for nonviolent action from Sarajevo.

Content

Introduction....................................................................................................................................................05 LGBT statistics in Serbia..............................................................................................................................11 LGBT statistics in Croatia.............................................................................................................................13 LGBT statistics in Bosnia and Herzegovina..........................................................................................15 Peer violence based on sexual orientation and/or gender identity..........................................17 Stereotypes and prejudice........................................................................................................................19 LGBTTIQ basic terms....................................................................................................................................26 WORKSHOPS...................................................................................................................................................29 Understanding of conflict....................................................................................................................31 Violence.......................................................................................................................................................33 Prejudice.....................................................................................................................................................36 Power............................................................................................................................................................40 Gender roles in society..........................................................................................................................43 Identity........................................................................................................................................................45 Creative conflict resolution.................................................................................................................47 Dealing with fear......................................................................................................................................50 Strategies for effective helping..........................................................................................................51 The action continuum...........................................................................................................................53

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Introduction ccording to a study conducted in Serbia, that is a part of the global UN campaign for LGBT equality, a large percentage of high school students tolerate violence against peers of different sexual orientation and considers it less terrible than violence against other people. The study shows that 47 percent of students think that their LGBT peers suffer violence, 20 percent think that LGBT students should be expelled from schools and 60 percent justify violence against LGBT people. Research previously conducted by UNICEF showed that 66 percent of boys justify violence against gay boys, and 17 percent of them would violently act against them. All of this contributes to creation of hostile environment towards LGBT youth in schools and surveys in other countries, that can be applied here, show that this kind of hostility affects LGBT pupils, their grades and some of them drop out of school.

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LGBT youth suffers homophobia, violence and lack of solidarity from their peers nor their teachers during their schooling period. Attempts of LGBT and Human rights organization in Serbia to tackle this problem wasn’t fruitful, because for any activities in schools you need special permission form the Ministry of Education, that wasn’t willing to cooperate on these issues. Having all that in mind and the need of LGBT youth for violence-free education and EU Youth Strategy that states importance of ensuring that all young people have equal access to high quality education and training, we need to find alternative ways for solving these problems. Also, pursuant to Articles 8 and 10 of the Treaty on the Functioning of the European Union (TFEU), as well as Articles 21 and 23 of the Charter of Fundamental Rights of the European Union, the Erasmus Plus promotes inter alia equality between men and women and measures to combat discrimination based on sex, racial or ethnic origin, religion or belief, disability, age or sexual orientation.

Similar situation regarding homophobia, bullying and violence in schools is present in Bosnia and Herzegovina and partially in Croatia. With our partners from Germany, we have worked on exchanging experiences and knowledge, and finding alternative ways in solving these issues.

Aim of this project is to combat discrimination, prejudice and homophobia in our local communities, with the special focus on youth education and prevention of prejudice and homophobia-based bullying and peer violence in schools.

Although mechanism for protection of individuals against discrimination exist (on different levels in our countries and in Europe in general) there should be more activities aiming on supporting the individuals in threat of discrimination and violence, but also aiming at the mainstream youth in order to raise their understanding and level of tolerance.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

We are proposing another way of solving this problem through the network of Youth organizations and organizations working with Youth.

In the study visit, examples of good practices and implemented methods and strategies were explored and used, adapted, for the development of new tools and methods in a form of the Manual for local workshops for youth on homophobia and LGBT rights.

By creating workshops manual tackling LGBT rights, homophobia, non-violence, respecting and accepting differences, we are giving innovative tools in solving the problem of homophobia among youth and bullying in schools. We have also taken in concern good practices from the region and EU and different approaches in working with youth.

The manual contains workshops on the subject of nonviolent communication, perception, conflicts, violence, prejudice and stereotypes, identities, non-violence, dealing with fear and mediation.

The most important aspect is decentralization and having participants from smaller cities and communities that already have showed interest in advocating for LGBT rights and preparing local trainer who will continue the work in their communities.

The 10 days long training course, as the main mobility activity of the project, aimed at putting the manual into practice and examining it with the partners and participants, in the same time sharing the knowledge, tools and methods, materials and resources in educating youth workers and impact bearers, while receiving valuable feedback on the tools and methodology which will be applied in the final revision and preparation of the manual.

Objectives of the projects are: • To share examples of good practice in organising local activities that tackle the issues of homophobia and LGBT rights • To organize study visit in Germany and have meetings with experienced LGBT organizations that are working with youth and homophobia • To share realities from our countries of existing situation of homophobia and LGBT rights and practise of our and other NGO's that are working on the topic • To create a manual for developing and leading local workshops for youth on homophobia and LGBT rights

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• To train youth workers on how to use manual and how to develop and lead quality local activities for youth • To develop list of recommendations for involving and working with local stakeholders • To promote manual to other youth workers, NGO's and others who work on the topic of homophobia and LGBT rights • To promote activities and results of the project via mainstream and LGBT media • To create effective tools for battling homophobia among youth and bullying in schools • To promote and strengthen cooperation between national and regional youth organizations (direct and indirect beneficiaries) • To introduce in details Erasmus+ Youth in Action programme KA2 Capacity building projects for young people and youth workers • To introduce the procedures and application forms of the Erasmus+ YiA KA2

Project consortium: Regional Info Center (RIC) - Serbia Regional Info Center (RIC) was founded in March of 2009 with the goal of strengthening the LGBT population through information and culture. It is of utmost importance that the LGBT population is strengthened enough to accept its sexual identity and view it positively in order to increase the number of LGBT persons who do not live in hiding and self-negation.

RIC gathers gay men, lesbians, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, queer and heterosexual persons who, through their engagement, contribute to better increased awareness of LGBT issues, rights and culture. RIC is implementing two large and constant programs which are being upgraded and widened, and they are Strengthening of the LGBT population through information and education, and Strengthening of the LGBT population through art and culture. Key activities of the organization are organizing cultural LGBT events during the whole year such a International queer film festival “Merlinka” and maintaining several LGBT online and print media such as gay magazine “Optimist” and news portal “GayEcho”.

RIC has three full-time employees, 15 associates and more than 40 volunteers.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

Outreach Hannover e.V. (OH) – Germany Outreach Hannover is non-governmental, not-for-profit association of persons from different countries, different nationalities, both male and female, who have found a common goal that they formed the association around. Its main priorities are promotion of human rights and civil participation, civil activism, youth education and youth work, and promotion of environmental awareness and alternative energy.

Outreach Hannover is an association that is focused on promoting youth work and empowering youth workers in the fields of intercultural dialogue and promotion of the culture of acceptance, and social inclusion, awareness of environmental issues and trends of environmental protection through non-formal education.

Its founders and active members have had various and extensive experiences of their own in their countries of origin, as well as Europe wide, as youth workers and firstly participants/volunteers, later taking part in numerous projects as trainers/experts in areas such as: youth work and non-formal education, volunteering, intercultural dialogue, interreligious dialogue EU foundations and values, active citizenship and communication skills, non-violent communication.

Youth Power (YP) – Bosnia and Herzegovina The NGO “Youth Power” from Mostar is established in January 2013 by group of young people who used to work for several other organizations in the past and who decided to establish their own focused on promotion of healthy lifestyles, non-violent behaviour, gender equality, connecting youth, active participation in social life and decision-making, volunteerism, promoting culture, advocating for democracy and human rights. The organization has a strong team of seven employed staff and over 30 volunteers and is implementing three programs at the moment.

YP create a society with positive values, in which young people are contributing to tolerance and interpersonal dialogue, promoting healthy lifestyles, gender equality, nonviolence, and actively involved in social life and politics.

Main activities of YP are: organising workshops, training courses, youth exchange, counselling, peer education, organising conferences and different events.

NGO YP is working in different programs at local and national level. We are working on non-formal education in program of CARE International NWB in subject of improvement woman position in societies, prevention of gender based violence, promoting healthy lifestyles.

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We are working on educating youth on national level in subject of youth employment; we educate high schools students to write CV’s, how to search for job opportunities and we prepare them for job interview (simulator of job interview).

Also, we are working with empowering women in subjects of gender equality, prevention of woman violence, getting job opportunities, repairing them for new area of work business, promoting living without stigma and discrimination.

Association for improvement of modern living skills “Realization” – Croatia Association for improvement of modern living skills “Realization” aims at and works on: • encouraging personal development; • strengthening youth initiatives; • promotion of non-formal education and lifelong learning of all layers of society; • promotion of European awareness and European citizenship based on interculturality, democracy, knowledge and dialogue.

Association "Realization" organises regular workshops and trainings of mainly unemployed and youth on local level and on European level as a partner or coordinator. Till now, the Association was involved in different projects in the field of non-formal education, youth sport work, global education, volunteerism, social inclusion, intercultural learning and dialogue and (youth) unemployment and entrepreneurship.

Association “Realization” is a member of an informal European network on social volunteering as tool for inclusion.

So far, Association "Realization" has implemented more than 25 (Erasmus+) Youth in Action training courses of youth workers and youth exchange - as the project coordinator, applicant and host, with the topics of youth sport work, global education, leadership in volunteer youth work, trainings of trainers, European citizenship, intercultural learning and dialogue, youth employment and entrepreneurship.

Realization has also taken part in numerous European level training courses in different countries and in majority of those activities they have provided at least one trainer and/or facilitator to the event.

The consortium is set up based on the joint identification of problems/issues and mutual vision on how these issues should be dealt with.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

All four partners have cooperated before on dierent projects. Partners from Germany, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Croatia have cooperated already several times on international youth projects that were funded by Erasmus+. These three partners worked with partner from Serbia on sharing examples of good practise in working with marginalised youth and on the topics of discrimination and hate speech. They supported each other in their local youth work sharing materials, methods and opportunities for funding. Members of each organisation, as well as some organisations' volunteers, are in constant contact, and are aware of the local and international projects that organisations are implementing and especially of positive outcomes and results they produced.

This manual is envisioned as an extensive tool that will be useful for youth organisations and youth workers who want to work with youth (with special focus on high school children) on the topics of homophobia and LGBT rights, with the goal of preventing discrimination and bullying in schools.

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

LGBT STATISTICS IN SERBIA

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n Serbia there is a misbelief that members of the LGBT community have the same rights as the rest of the citizens, which is not true. Our country has a Law against discrimination and other laws that protect LGBT rights, and these laws are pretty good.

However, in every society impelemntation of law is of key importance for them to serve their purpose. Therefore, what is needed is a cultural climate that encourages law impelentation and in that way each and every individual can have faith in these institutions.

In the period from 2012. To 2015. According to police reports, there here have been 40 physical and 30 verbal attacks on LGBT people in Serbia. We need to take with a pinch of salt these not so small numbers of cases of violence against LGBT people, because researchers who are dealing with this subject, point out that LGBT people report only 10% of the total number of these cases due to fear from police reaction of from fear that these reports will lead to exposing their sexual orientation.

The previously mentioned cultural climate in our country indicates a huge level of social stigma against LGBT people.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

The latest research of the public’s opinion on the teritory of the Republic of Serbia, done

by GSA and CESID (2010) showed that 67% of Serbia’s citizens thinks that homosexuality is a desease and 50% od citizens would never accept the fact that someone in the immediate family is LGBT. During 2014. A research “Public’s perception in Serbia on human rights of LGBTTIQ citizens” has been conducted and showed that only 10% of interviewees knew an LGBT person and only 6% think that LGBT are the most marginalised group in Serbia.

In the regular annual report of the Commissioner for the Protection of Equality in 2016 we learn that social distance in Serbia is most common against members of the LGBT community. One fourth of (27%) does not want members of the LGBT community as their colleagues, and one third of them (34%) don’t want them as their friends, and one half on them (47%) don’t want LGBT people to look after their children, while 63% would have something against being married or their children being married to an LGBT person.

Discrimination and violence against LGBT people does not only include physical atacks after which they end up in the hospital with injuries. Discrimation and violence includes the fact that LGBT people, due to fear of being rejected by people closest to them, keep quiet about their sexual orientation or when LGBT people are scared to leave the house, or when they look around them before kissing their partner or think twice about holding their hand because somebody maybe won’t like it, or when LGBT people hear comments like: “I don’t have anythikng agains LGBT population, but I don’t understand why they have to show that off in public” or “They should all be killed, thrown in the hospital etc.”

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Photo by Marta Branco

LGBT STATISTICS IN CROATIA p intill now the biggest field research on a sample of LGBT people in Croatia has been conducted during the course of spring and summer of 2013. With the cooperation with Zagreb-Pride Lesbian Organisation Rijeka-LORI, and Queer sport Split. The research has been conducted in three Croatian cities- Zagreb, Split and Rijeka, and 690 people took part in it. The mail goals of this research were to look into participant’s experiences with violence, discrimination and hate crime on the basis of ther sexual orientation, gender identity and gender to examine how much they’re open in ther community when It comes to their identity, their awareness of their rights, general satisfaction and involvement in activities made for the LGBTIQ community, and learn about their experience and needs connected to family life.

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Results of this research show that from the year 2006, even 73,6% interviewees experienced some shape of violence caused by their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender? (rodnog izražavanja). About their experience with various forms of verbal abuse, then sexual and finally, physical. A worrying small number of people (n=53) have reported the violence to the police, and the same number of people (n=58) have reported the violence to some organizations that deal with LGBTIQ rights. When we talk about discrimination the majority of interviewees (29%) have once or twice experienced violence in the family, and the next type of violence that often occurs is discrimination in the filed of services? (26,5%).

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

At the same time according to acquired results we can conclude that LGBT people in Croatia are much more open to their identity. Even 64,1% state that their mother knows about their sexual orientation, 47,2% say their father knows about it, and one very valuable piece of data is that 43,6% of people say that their colleagues from work or school/college know about their sexual orientation. The percentage of them being more open to gender izražavanjui spolnom/rodnom identitetu) are also bigger. Also, about 70% of interviewees never or rarely modify their behavior in places not open for LGBTIQ people.

Answers to questions about family life show that 53,43% interviewees want to enter a civil partnership, 35,15% want to have children and 5,09% that is, 35 of them, have their own children, Until now 50,81% of them attended on of the Gay Prides, and to the question: “Do you support the organizing of the Gay Pride in Croatia?” most of them expressed their support of the Gay Pride, so on the scale of 1 to 7, the average value was M=6,03 (sd=1,66). Most of the interviewees visit LGBTIQ places in Croatia, only 39 of them say they never do so. From different services, the mostly used one is using webcontent which 74,7% often or occasionally uses, and the next one is using places for socializing which 72,6% often or occasionally use.

Being familiar with relevant laws is not very common, so 19,71% of interviewees state that they are not at all familiar with the Law on discrimination, and 29,39% are not at all familiar with the Law on punishment referring to LGBTIQ people.

It is important to take into account the results of this research while planning the future project for improving the situation for LGBTIQ people in Coratia, and decreasing violence and discrimination, through making sure that laws are implemented, and to encourage LGBTIQ people to have faith in the police and judiciary so as to increase the reports of violence and discrimination.

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

LGBT STATISTICS IN BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA research on the public opinion (Istraživanje javnog mnijenja) in Bosnia and Herzegovina conducted in the year 2013, on 1010 interviewees, with the goal of determining the level of homophobia in the Bosnian society. The goals of this research are (spoznajni) and pragmatic, because, bedises getting an insigt ito the structure of this phenomenon and its explanation, it opens many posibilites for different shapes of action with the goal of decreasing the level of homophobia in society. The main results of this research point out that there is a low level of sensibility of citizens against LGBT people- a small number recognizes the problems which this part of the population faces and the legislature that refers to this area. But, some level of tolerance can be found, since 90% of interviewees would not verbally or physically assault this population and would help the victim of violence.

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The research showed that LGBT people are the least accepted as friends, then as bosses, colleagues and finally as neighbours. Even though on the scale of social distance the

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

neighbor relations are looked upon as the closest compared to business relations, hence if a particular social group is rejected, they get a higher level of social distance, in the case of our rearch that wasn’t the case. That is probably a consequence of the fact that neighbor relations can be avoided, while business relations represent an everyday interaction during a working day and (svojevrsnu etiku kolegijalnosti) Friendly relations, in which a person invests their whole being is the least accepted for our interviewees.

Family relations, and the role of sexual orientation, we have examined through parentchild relationship, since it is a long-lasting emotional relationship, which lasts for a lifetime. Results indicate that parents would try to balance excluding the LGBT subjects from their family surroundings, and at the same time staying in contact with their child who is of different sexual orientation, with different tactics- most often with persuasion, then acceptance, support and finally, physical attacks.

When we talk about coming out, that is public manifestation of different sexual orientation, we have acquired answers that mosty indicate to rejection. Mostly when it comes to kissing in public areas, which is unacceptable for the interviewees, while for instance, gender reasingment is more acceptable (for 59,5%), probably because it occurs within their “four walls” (in this case, operation room). But when it comes to Gay Pride, we have acquired some interesting results, to say the least. Even though there is a fals picture that mostly all citizens of Bosnia and Herzegovina are against this manifestation, that it is a way of provocation, our interviewees had (podijeljeno mišljenje, što vjerovatno odražava ideološke i druge polarizacije koje postoje u društvu) An encouraging fact is that 65,7% of interviewees think that homosexual people should be treated the same as every other citizen, with a warning that this is an abstract way of acceptance, and not in the context of real social interaction, like the case was when we measured the level of social distance.

Even though in this research we can see an existence of homophobia in Bosnian society, the fact of the matter is that on some questions there were positive answers or we could notice a difference in opinions which indicates that there are indications of tolerance towards different people, that can serve as a foundation on which we can buld further education, sensibilization and promotion of openness and tolerance of society. So, the level of education was the most important factor when it comes to level of homophobia. The better educated the interviewees were, the more open and positive attitudes they had.

In the end religion was the least important predictor of attitudes since in this context the least important statistical differences have been acquired, even though in percentage people that stated that they are not religious have somewhat more open attituted dowards LGBT people.

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PEER VIOLENCE BASED ON SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND/OR GENDER IDENTITY tatistical data about the problem of peer violence based on sexual orientation and/or gender inentity in Serbia. Results of this research conducted in our country indicate that one of the crucial problems on which we need to work on is protection of LGBT highschool children from violece and discrimination they experience from their peers.

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Research conducted in our country in the period from 2006. To 2016. In schools mostly located in Belgrade, showed these results: - every ďŹ fth inteviewee denies LGBT people the righ to live, and thinks that

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth they should be extinct - 47% of highschool children think that their LGBT peers experience violence - 80% of highschool children have supported the discrimination against LGBT people, half of them would not like to have an LGBT person as a close friend, while 35% don’t want a LGBT person in their neighbourhood - 2/3 of boys have agreed that a homosexual person deserves physical abuse.

Similar results were obtained in other researches - 75‒85% of young men think that “it is ok to hit a homosexual if he flirts with me”

It is obvious that for many years a high percentage of highschool children in Serbia still tolerate violence against LGBT pupils and think that it is less serious than violence against other people.

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

STEREOTYPES AND PREJUDICE

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oots of violence and discrimination lay in STEREOTYPES and PREJUDICE towards LGBT people.

First lets clarify the two concepts- STEREOTYPE and PREJUDICE

STEREOTYPES are simplified assumptions, judgements, beliefs and opinions that all members of a certain group have similar characteristics, no matter the difference between them, for example, Germains are neat, Jews are stingy, women are delicate, men are better chefs than women…

HOW TO STEREOTYPES START? Stereotypes begin due to the lack of information about a person that we atribute certain characteristics to, because of their affiliation to a certain group. Once they are createt, stereotypes are difficult to change. We adopt attitutes about other people subconsciously. From a young age they are affected by the attitudes of their immediate family, and later society. Negative stereotypes lead to prejudice.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

PREJUDICE are negative beliefs and attitudes against people, group or a phenomenon.

They are often created before a direct contact with that person, group or phenomenon, Prejudice are characterised by a strong emotional component, often negative (hostility, intolerance and hatered) EXERCISE All I ever herd about: - Lesbians - Gays - Bisexuals - Transgender/ Transsexual people (we write on a flip chart) COMMONEST STEREOTYPES TOWARDS LGBT PEOPLE Homosexuality is a desease.

False.

Let’s revise, being LGBT is not a mentall illness and it should not be treated. This is a scientific fact and opinion of people with authority in the medicall field. The World Health Organisation has approved that opinion in the year 1990. And the Serbian medical community has done so in 2008. After decades of research done by official world health organizations, psychologists and other mental health experts it has been concluded that heterosexual and homosexual orientation are normal aspects of human sexuality.

Only form of “therapy” while learning about a persons homosexuality, psychiatrists claim, is the preparation of the homosexual person and people from their environment to accept that fact.

Homosexuality is rarely present with people or homosexuality is now more common than before.

False.

Many research indicates that the existence of LGBT people was constant through the course of history, 5-10% of the population account for LGBT people, and that is the same in all parts of the world, no matter the culture, religion or social, economical or racial affiliation. Today LGBT people are only visible because of their fight for their human rights. LGBT people are our professors, peers, friends and neighbours. We all know many LGBT people, regardless of the fact if we are aware of it or not.

Homosexuality is transmitted like a contagious decease.

False.

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Homosexuality, same as heterosexuality, cannot be transmitted from one person to another.

Homosexuality is unnatural.

False.

Homosexuality exists in the animal world, there are 1.500 registered species, and homosexuality has been scrientificaly proven to exist among 500 animal species, like in every human culture during any historical period.

Homosexuality came from the west to destroy Serbia, that doesn’t exist here.

False.

Homosexuality shows the diversity of human sexuality, it has existed before and it exists today in all parts of the world. Also, as we already said, LGBT people comprise 5% to 10% of the whole population, and that percentage is constant in different cultures, no matter the different moral values, traditions and standards of some cultures. There is no reason for Serbia to be different than the rest of the world when it comes to this. It is believed that sexual orientation is determined by a complex interaction of genes, hormones and social factors. None of these factors are solely responsible for determining somebody’s sexual orientation. Psychological and social influence cannot induce homosexuality. To put it simply, science still hasn’t given us a final answer to the question, why is somebody LGBT or straight, but it has hiven a clear answer, that neither parents nor the society and especially not the media, can influence if someone’s LGBT or straight.

Homosexuality is a choice.

False.

Various research had been conducted and many teories have been proposed on the subject are people born lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, or do they become that through their experiences, upbringing or by someone’s influence. Results of all those research unabiguously point at only two things: sexuality is not a choice and it cannot be changed. We all become aware of our sexual orientation through the proces of growing up, it is not something that we can suddenly find out about ourselves. Something we can choose is wheather we will act in accordance with our sexual orientation, that is, our own feelings. In conclusion, if you are heterosexual and think that homosexuality is a choice, do you think that being heterosexual is also a choice? When did you choose your sexual orientation?

Homosexuality is the same as pedophilia.

False.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

The international decease clasification (F65.4) defines peophelia as a sexual affinity towards male, female or children of both genders, in puberty, or early puberty. Statistical data of criminal services in the world, together with the ones in our country, indicate that pedophiles are mainly adult heterosexual males.

In my school/university/neighbourhood/city there are no lesbian, gay nor trans students or I have never met an LGBT student.

False.

If you calculate, knowing that LGBT people comprise 5% or 10% of the whole population, the result is that every 10th or 20th person in your school is a lesbian, gay, bisexual or a transgender person. We don’t have to do math to establish that you know a great number of LGBT people, but actually you don’t, because LGBT people in most cases don’t openly express their sexual orientation, because they live in fear of negative reactions their environment would have on their public display of sexual orientation, and because they encounter steriotypes, discrimination and violence from the society on a daily basis, only because they are LGBT. Organisations that deal with LGBT rights want to spread their propaganda in schools and in that way lure students into becoming lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

False.

There were and there will always be efforts by LGBT rights activists to educate students in schools on subjects that have something to do with the position and lives of LGBT people. This manual is also, one of these efforts. It is important to emphasize two things.

The goal of working with highschool youth is that they learn not to discriminate and not to be violent towards their LGBT peers, and also to understant that their LGBT peers constantly face verbal and physical violence outside of school, that they feel lonely and afraid, and that a great number of them has suicidal thoughts. The work with highschool youth doesn’t have a goal to convert somebody into being gay, it is not possible to turn someone into a lesbian, gay, bisexual nor transgender person, even in they would want that.

If we during school activities talk about homosexuality, there will be a bigger chance of some of the students becoming LGBT False.

Openly talking about homosexuality during school activities which deal with this topic is of a pivotal importance for students who are LGBT, in a sense of celebrating their existence and creating an atmosphere in school which they will regard as less dangerous, if we continue to talk about this subject. Also, talking about homosexuality can contribute to them becoming aware of stereotypes and prejudice towards LGBT population

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and disregarding them, and also the students will familiarize themselves with this topic and learn to respect differences. More information about LGBT people surely won’t have an impact of heterosexual’s sexual orientation, no matter their age.

If I become friends with a lesbian, gay, biesexual or transgender person, that can be dangerous for me.

False.

Let’s repeat that sexual orientation can’t be transmitted from one person on to another and it is not posible to turn someone into a lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans, even if we want to. Then, let’s add that there is a very low probability that your new friend will like you or that they will hit on you. Together you build and preserve a friendly relationship.

It’s obvious that you don’t buld a reltionship with other friends based on likinig and hiting on each other. In the end, if that does happen, it’s more than ok to reject them if you don’t like them.

True.

Research has shown that victims of peer violence based on sexual oriendtation or gender identity can be students who have friends or s sister/brother who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or a transgender people. However, in this case don’t forget that you are a representative of the majority in school and that from that position you can eaqually talk about your straight peers, i.e you have the same power.

All LGBT people can imediately be recognised by the way they act or dress or gays act like women and lesbians are butch and have short hair.

False.

If you have this stereotypical assumptions, you are probably wrong. Only a small number of LGBT people manifest these before mentioned stereotypical characterists which deal with behaviour and style. Similarly to the heterosexual population, there are many individual differences. LGBT people mostly look like everyone else and many people wouldn’t (LGBT osobe najčešće izgledaju kao i svi drugi ljudi i većina ljudi nikada ne bi na osnovu vanjskih manifestacija, kao što su ponašanje, oblačenje ili izgled, pomislila da je netko lezbejka, gej, biseksualna ili trans osoba) It is important to pointout two facts. LGBT people often, due to fear of rejection or violence, try and hide their sexual orientation, i.e. gender identity, with adapting to heteronormative expectations and trying to look “normal”. The only certain way to know someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity is if they share it with us.

LGBT people are promiscuous or LGBT people think only about sex False.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

Promiscuity is a form of sexual behaviour which is characterised by their sexual needs not being met by being in a relationship with only one partner. This behaviour is not connected with sexual orientation, but is connected with person’s values and beliefs.

LGBT people are not more promiscuous than heterosxual people are.

In same sex relationships one partner is „male“ and one is „female”.

False.

Even though the only model by which young LGBT people can form their relationships is the traditional heterosexual relationship model, in same sex relationships partners don’t play male and female roles.

There’s research that indicates more equality and simetrical distribution of responsibilities in LGBT relationships contrary to people in heterosexual relationships, where data shows women still do a bigger number of house chores.

If a person is bisexual they have many partners at the same time.

False.

Let’s remind ourselves that a person is bisexual if they are emotionaly, physicaly, anf romanticaly attracted to people of same and opposite sex. This definition doesn’t indicate that bisexual people have the possibility to be attracted to more people at the same time. The fact that bisexual people are attracted to both genders only increases the nubmer of their potential partners, and not the possibility of physical of emotial involvement with someone.

LGBT people don’t want to enter into relationships where LGBT people are not happy, stable or functional.

False.

Research shows that the majority of LGBT people have started entering into civil partnerships, and many of these relationships are long lasting, hence the factors which influence the feeling of satisfaction, commitment and the stability of the relationship are very simillar to the factors with heterosexual and homosexual couples. We can say that lesbian and gay relationship are in the emotional and psychological sense the same as heterosexual. Something that is very important to point out is the visibility of heterosexual relationships, something that is implied, while the visibility of LGBT people is a privilege not many couples have. A very strong social stigmatisation of LGBT people influences the fact that LGBT relationships are not seen in public. Also, a great number of LGBT people have not come out to their family or friends which leads to their relationships staying invisible and non-existent for their environment. LGBT relationships are often without common friends? Or social support that would help in maintaining a long lasting relationship.

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We should not allow LGBT couples to adopt children or children brought up py LGBT parent would become homosexual or children brought up by LGBT parent would have problems in their development.

Fase.

In Serbia, and in the world, mostly all LGBT people have grown up in heterosexual families. Research conducted in the world, in countries where marriage or civil partnership for LGBT people is legal, show that in families where children were brought up by LGBT parents, there were not more LGBT children that in families where children were brought up by heterosexual parents. The research has also shown that children raised

by LGBT parents are not different from the ones raised by heterosexual parents, and their development is the same in the most crucial areas- intelligence, social and psychological adjustment and popluarity amongs peers.

What’s more important than all research results, is to indicate that the only thing that can happen to children who live in families with LGBT parents is them dealing with prejudice towards parents who are LGBT. PREJUDICE TOWARDS LGBT PEOPLE IS DEEPLY ROOTED IN HOMOPHOBIA- IRRATIONAL FEAR OR HATERED BASED ON THE SEXUAL ORIENTATION DIFFERENT FROM HETEROSEXUAL AND/OR GENDER IDENTITY DIFFERENT FROM HETERONORMATIVE. One of the reasons why these stereotypes apper is the lack of familiarization with people who belong to the group we have a stereotypical opinion about. Straight people who know even one person who is openly LGBT have significantly less stereotypes about LGBT population.

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

lgbttiq BASIC TERMS

S

o as to be familiar with LGBTTIQ people maybe it is best to first clarify some basic terms connected to this group.

SEX ‒ social, legal and medical classification of biological characteristics that is determined by reproductive organs or genitals. It divides people into only two categories: men and women GENDER ‒ subjective feeling of belonging to a specific gender. It implies behaviour, values, personality traits which the sociatey shapes in a certain culture or a historical period (style, manners, activities, choice of profession) and which in public determine the status of the person as male or female.

SEX IDENTITY – inner, subjective feeling of belonging to a particular sex, that doesn’t have to match the biological sex of that person.

GENDER IDENTITY – individual feeling of accepting gender roles that doesn’t depend on gender assinged by birth. It implies a personal construct which can be in accordance

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witch socially assigned definitions of gender or it can be denied, overcomed and changed.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION – the question of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attraction towards another person LESBIAN ‒ woman who is mainly physically and/or emotionally attracted to other women GAY – men who are maily emotionally and/or physically attracted to other men BISEXUAL PERSON – people who are sexually .and erotically attracted to people of same and different gender TRANSGENDER PERSON – a person whose gender identity and/or gender expression is not in accordance with traditional gender roles and norms. Transgender people are people whose gender identity is not in accorance with their gender, i.e. they have a strong feeling of emotional affiliation to the opposite sex. Transgender people often don’t want to surgically alter their gender. Being transgender has nothing to do with sexual orientation, but with gender identity.

TRANSSEXUALITY – a form of being transgender which is characteries by extreme disharmony of gender identity and (geneticalm, gonadnog pola??, and anatomycal) sex. Simly put, transsexual males feel as women trapped in a man’s body, and transsexual females feel as males trapped in a woman’s body. With trannsexual people there is a need for hormone-surgical body alterations, the two most common variant: transmale (from female to male) and trans-woman (from male to female) INTERSEXUAL PERSON ‒ Person who is born with sex and reproductive organs wich are not defined and not characteristic neither for a male nor a female. On averafe 1 out of 2000 babies is bort with some form of intersexual condition.

QUEER ‒ Queer was used before in the English language as an insulting name for nonhetero people. LGBTTIQ have taken this term and started using it to describe themselves. Some people particularly respect this term because it denotes defiance and because it represents diversity-not only for gays and lesbians but also bisexual, transgender and intersex people, together with heterosexual people who live their lives or see themselves outside heteropatriarchal norms.

HOMOPHOBIA ‒ fear, untolerance and hatred dowards sexual minorities.

INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA ‒ fear of one’s own sexuality of hatred toward yourself

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due to your sexual difference. It appears as a consequence of negative stereotipes that are created by an oppressive environment.

COMING OUT, AUTING ‒ To announce your different (nonheterosexual) sexual orientation to our friends, parents or anyone else.

Why is coming out such a DIFFICULT PROCESS FOR MANY GAYS AND LESBIANS? Due to countless stereotypes and prejudice towards lesbians and gays, coming out represents a very difficult challenge to them, which can lead to emotial suffering. When they for the first time beome aware of their attraction to people of the same sex, lesbians and gays can feel lonely and perceve themselves as “different”. Also they hava a fear of being rejected by their parents, friends, colleagues and religious institutions. Besides this, lesbians and gays are often a target of discrimination and violence. If you are still fighting with the feeling of guilt connected to your sexual orentation or gender identitiy you should deinitely postopne coming out. Coming out calls for a great amount of courage and bravery, hence it is necessary to feel good about your sexual orientation or gender identity.

A QUESTION FOR ALL OF US Which language and terms do we use on a daily basis- in school, work, or college?

Do we implement and how the right to sexual orientation in our work?

Do we know a person who is gay or lesbian? What role do they play in our lives?

WHAT EXAMPLE ARE WE SETTING TO OUR CHILDREN?

Workshops

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Understanding of conflict The goals of this workshop are: - understanding the difference between conflict and violence - conflict analysis - opening a possibility to understand conflict as a signal and chance for change - not understanding important factors that influence conflict development Main questions - What understandings of conflict are there?

- What is the connection between conflict and violence?

- What models of behavior can we recognize?

- What is embedded in conflict, and why does it appear?

-What are the commonest roles of fear in conflict that we can recognize?

- What don’t I like in my behavior during conflicts and how can I change that?

Brainstorming: Conflict (associations)

Barometer Participants after reading a statement are taking position between two ends “I agree” and “I disagree”. After taking positions between to ends all have time to explain their opinion, not commenting the opinions of others.

Statements: It is bad having conflicts.

If you have opposing interests the conflict cannot be solved.

Power determines the solution of the conflict.

The victim is responsible for the conflict.

Brainstorming: Conflict arises due to…

Brainstorming: What are the types of behavior in a conflict?

Life on the island The participants are split into small groups. They are on a deserted island and there is no way to escape. They have to organize their life together and arrange and establish a common set of rules. Each small group has 10 minutes to establish their rules, which are later presented in front of everyone.

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In the next step one person out of each group has to volunteer. Volunteers are taken out of the room, tell them they will go to another deserted island, and to behave not according to the living rules of that island, and to try and change or boycott them.

After 10 minutes of the “newcomers” being there, the exercise ends and is evaluated.

Evaluation questions: How did the group deal with the conflict?

How did the newcomers feel in breaking the rules and how did the natives feel when their system was not being followed’?

Who was the victim and who was the bully?

What does this have to do with real life?

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Violence The goals of this exercise are?

- Understanding the terms of violence in society - Raising awareness about different understandings of violence - Opening the question about responsibility for violence in society Main questions?

- What are the different kinds of violence?

- Who holds the responsibility of violence in society?

- What roles are there in violent situations?

- How do we react to violence in society?

Brainstorming: Violence (Associations) Participants write down their associations to violence

Barometer: Violence On the floor there are papers with the statements mentioned bellow. Each participant takes two statements and puts them in with choices It is violence- It’s not violence. After all the statements are finished a discussion is open if somebody would change the position of that statement, why, and how others perceive it…

Statements: • Homo • Tranny • Faggot • Who is a man and who is a woman in your relationship?

• Stop fem • Lesbians should not talk about population politics • Gay men are responsible for the HIV epidemic • Trans women are not real women • I have the right not to tell my partner I’m trans • We should not legalise prostitution • I have gay friends and they are against the gay pride • I’m against gay marriage because marriage is an obsolescent and patriarchal institution • I don’t want to share my HIV status with my partner • Why should I tell anyone I’m gay?

• My parents have accepted me being a lesbian but we don’t talk about my love life

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• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

Real men for real men You just didn’t find the right man The children of gay couples would be laughed at and bullied in school, that’s why I’m against adoption Gay men are good looking, educated, well behaved and understand fashion The majority of female tennis players are lesbians Gay men should not work as teachers A person who deliberately transmits HIV should be legally prosecuted If you had anal sex in less than six months you cannot give blood Canada has terms parent 1 and parent 2 instead of mother and father Surrogate mother and egg donor don’t have the right to see the child and take part in its upbringing Sperm donor is not the father Isn’t it better to give a child to a gay couple then put it in an orphanage?

Gay men are promiscuous You could act more feminine If they don’t like men, why do lesbians dress like men and try to act like them Men only party Only females can participate this training Out of all donations to LGBT project only 20% goes to lesbian projects: the majority of the money goes to projects intended for gay men.

LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth • • • • • • • •

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I cannot understand LGBT people who are religious Gay men in movies are often portrayed stereotypically and overly feminine Drag queens mock and deprecate women Cis man i cis female Trans women and women cannot do drag LGBT activists only care about money, and the worst the situation is the better they are Some of the greatest minds in history were homosexuals Homosexuality can be found in nature in over thousands of animal species

Brainstorming: Types of violence What types of violence can you recognize?

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

Prejudice The goals of this training are: - Facing our own and other’s stereotypes (in ourselves and others) and prejudice - Raising the awareness of the role prejudice has while forming an opinion Main questions: -How do prejudice and stereotype arise?

- How to deal with personal and prejudice of other people?

- What is the connection between prejudice and discrimination?

Association Each participant has 30 seconds to write down a couple of associations that first come to mind on given topics. After each topic, papers with associations are stuck to a wall… When it’s all written down everyone comes to the wall and quietly reads what’s written.

Topics: sports fans, LGBT activists, bisexuals, transvestites, lesbians, ballet dancers Sports fans Violence Wild Vučić Arkan Young Unemployed Fake patriotism Maniacs Evil

Hooligans Chaos Violence Homophobes Drug dealers Noise Nationalism Evil Fascists Beer

Commercials Meet Passion Nostalgia Connection Crowd Sport Creativity Privilege Arrogance

LGBT activists Obsolete Closed circles Human right activists Rights Freedom NGO Minority Open mind Young Active

Misunderstanding Changing the world Empathy Attempt Faggots Feminism Bravery Readiness Creativity Faith Unity

Conflicts Self-interests Fight Values Rights Loud Mutual intolerance Business Same thing different package

LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth Bisexuals Openness Lie Natural To live life to the fullest People Sexual Non-existing

Bi ne bi Discriminated Invisible Judged Sexy Future Society judgement Human rights

Small percentage of the real ones Undefined due to fear Both genders Don’t exist Invisible Open mind

Transvestites Weight Feeling Prostitution Sense for fashion Colorful M-F F-M

Weirdo Makeup Dresses Heels Wigs Merlinka Fear of violence Being invisible

Sad Funny Dark Unhappy High Lady Boys Mask Fishnets

Lesbians Danger Sweetness Be fond of Cockiness In better position than gay men Girlfriends Love Two moms

Freedom Rights Strong women Gay Crazy Feminists Truckers Sexy Boobs Butt

Love Lepa Mlađenović Fight Bravery Butch Ruby Rose Gay pride Privatization Violence Rebellion

Ballet dancers Nice legs Visible crotch Gays Tights Bourgeoisie Nice looking Sexy Ugly Tragic

Artists Prejudice Sexy Fit Horny Perfectionists Artist Feminine Professionals Sweet

Art Legs Commitment Strength Sensuality Gorgeousness Art Perfect built

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Barometer Participants after reading a statement are taking position between two ends “I agree” and “I disagree”. After taking positions between to ends all have time to explain their opinion, not commenting the opinions of others.

Statements: - I have prejudice - I have the right to my prejudice - I think that useful prejudice exist - Prejudice always lead to discrimination

Working in small groups on the topics of prejudice Participants are divided into small groups where each of the participant describes one experience in which someone had prejudice towards them. Each person has 5 minutes to tell their story.

Each participant in small groups tells and describes the situation when he or she had prejudice towards someone.

Discussion: What more difficult to describe and live through these two situations? Why?

LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

Brainstorming: How do prejudice arise?

Lack of knowledge Closeness Fear From parents Inexperience Religion Lack of empathy

History From society School Non-acceptance Tradition Cultural identity Education

Laziness Media Culture-fascism Disney Epic songs

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Power Goals of this training are: - Defining the concept of power - Analysing the connection between power and violence - Analysing institutional power - Recongising our own potentials/power Main questions: - What can power be made of?

- Who has power?

- In what way can power influence the process of conflict resolution - How to deal with the fear of having power Brainstorming: Power

Airplane Choice of group/safety vests Participants can choose one safety vest/group (the name of the group is written on the vest)

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- young people - police - old people - LGBT activists - people with disability - feminists - media - multinational companies - the government - peace advocates - donors The participants are sitting in a circle with their safety vests. They have been told: Paricipant who are in the same group will represent a couple. Each couple represents one vote. Couples cannot split. You are all together in an airplane ying to an international conference on the topic- Violence in the world and ways to deal with it. In that conference you would represent a group you previously chose. Suddenly the pilot warns you that due to some technical diďŹƒculties all of you must leave the plane in under an hour.

However, there are not enough parachutes- 3 people will be left without it- The pilot has its own parachute and is not willing to give it to any of you.

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Time to think Each pair should write down reasons why they think they should be given a parachute and in that way secure their trip to the conference and continue working on dealing with violence across the world. Then, each pair should pick their representative. You have 5 minutes to do so Presentation After each group has finished the task, they are asked to present it to everyone, one by one and explain the reasons why they should be saved. They have 3 minutes for presenting.

Making the decision about the pairs After the presentation, each pair has 5 minutes to discuss who should be given the parachute and decide to which 5 groups they will cast their vote, but they cannot vote for themselves. The vote is secret- the pairs write down the list of 5 groups on the paper.

Vote On a big sheet of paper there is a list of all groups on the airplane. Facilitators write the votes next to each group. Three pairs with the least number of votes do not receive parachutes and need to take off their safety vests. If there’s a tie, the pilot says that he will no longer wait to hear their slow decision, that they have 5 minutes to decide, otherwise he will catapult himself from the plane in order to save his life leaving them all to crash. Therefore, they will have to vote again.

Discussion How did you choose which group to belong to?

How are you satisfied with the group you chose?

How difficult was it to explain the reasons why you should survive?

How did you feeling during the process of deciding who to vote for?

How did you decide who to vote for?

How do the members of groups that didn’t get chosen feel?

What did you learn out of this exercise?

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Gender roles in society The goals of this training are: - Analysing the source of one’s own male, female and other identity - Analysing gender roles predetermined by society - Analyising the relationship between violence and roles imposed by society - Recognising and acquiring our own responsibility for gender roles in society - More active relationship between causes of gender discrimination Main questions: - What are some of the understandings of male and female roles in society - From where do traditional society gender roles come from - Who is responsible for creating gender roles in society

Brainstorming: What are men like? – What are women like?

Participants are divided into three groups: female, male, other All the participants have been given a piece of paper and they have 30 seconds to write down the fist thing that comes to their mind on the allotted subject, so as to receive fist associations and ensure anonymity. Participants can add something else if they like to.

Female group: What are women like?

Male group: What are women like?

Nonbinary group: What are women like?

Female group: What are men like?

Male group: What are men like?

Nonbinary group: What are men like?

Female group: What are nonbinary people like?

Male group: What are nonbinary people like?

Nonbinary group: What are nonbinary people like?

Nonbinary group is added, if some of the participants are nonbinary.

Magazines The group is divided into three groups: female, male and mixed Instructions: You have 45 minutes to find in newspapers in magazines we have provided you with and find things you connect with today’s subject, gender role in society, and when

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everyone has found 2-3 things, talk about it amongst the members of your group, decide what will you present out of this with the time of 10 minutes and pick the person who will present that.

What’s offered are newspapers, magazines, foreign, male, female…

One person out of each group should present to the rest the main points from their conversation with the maximum time of 10 minutes. All three groups have their own presentations, one after another, and comments and questions can be asked after all the groups are done presenting.

Discussion, comments

How did I become a man/woman? How did I not become a man/woman? What influenced that?

Choose four small groups in which you will discuss the following topic: How did a become a man/woman? How did I not become a man/woman? You have 20 minutes. The discussion in small groups stays between you- you will not have to address the topic of your conversation later.

Additional questions for small groups: What did I use to play with as a child?

What clothes did I wear?

What was my favorite profession when I was a child?

Who were my idols?

What were my parents like?

What expectations did my environment have of me, as a boy/gir and later?

Brainstorming: Gender roles in society What is the role of women in society?

What is the role of men in society?

Discussion: What was important or interesting about these associations?

What relationship do you see between genders in society?

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Identity The goals of this training are: - Empowering participants - Facing differences - Differentiating between fear and diversity Main questions: - What influences the creation of personal identity?

- What influences the creation of national identity?

- Of what importance is national identity and why?

- What is the relationship between different identities in the sense of mutual?

- How do we deal with differences?

- What is the thing that creates a sense of right jeopardizing on our own identity?

My five identities Each participant writes down their own five identities. Then, each person read their identities one by one and people who recognize themselves in some of the read identities should briefly stand up from their seats.

Brainstorming: What influences forming our identity Society Conscience Family Self-respect Genetics TV Media Tradition

Jelena Karleuša Upbringing Privilege Economy Education Travel Finance Place of birth

Conversation Training Sex Drugs Talents and affiliations Availability

Barometer Participants after reading a statement are taking position between two ends “I agree” and “I disagree”. After taking positions between to ends all have time to explain their opinion, not commenting the opinions of others.

Statements: I understand people who speak my language better.

I have a better relationship with people with same sexual orientation.

I’m a patriot.

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Colorful eyes Participants are divided into groups, approaching the paper on the ground on which there is one of the following statements: I have a brother and a sister, I have a brother, I have a sister, Other I have sad eyes, I have green eyes, I have blue eyes, I have different colored eyes, I have cheerful eyes, Other I love to read, I love art, I love sport, I love burek, Other I come from the territory of ex-Yugoslavia, I’m from Europe, I’m from planet Earth, I’m from the Balkans, Other I lived in many places, I lived in only one state, I lived during socialism, Other I’m gay, I’m a faggot, I’m bisexual, I’m trans, I’m lesbian, I’m queer, Other Questions: What was it like? How easy was it to make a choice? Did you feel like you had a choice?

What does this remind you of?

A river of identities Each of you should independently write down on five papers one thing that means a lot to you. All papers shall be collected and places in the middle of the room in a shape of a wide river. The participants, one by one, should approach the river, stepping on rocks (paper with an identity written on it), explaining why they stepped on that rock (which can also be written by someone else) and cross the river.

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Creative conflict resolution The goals of this training are: - The analysis and the application of what was previously learn in conflict situations - Differentiating between fear and conflict Main questions: - How to deal with threatening situations?

- What is the responsibility for the witness of violence?

- What strong and weak sides have victims, bully and witness?

- What are the possible courses of action as an answer to conflict?

- What are the possible courses of action as an answer to structural violence?

Bully, victim and witness Participants are divided into three groups. Each group has a role: “bully”, “victim” or “witness”. Groups are answering on the following topics: How does a bully/victim/witness look like?

What traits do they have?

What are they making me feel?

How strong are the sides of these roles?

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Bully Traits: acquired behaviour lack of knowledge constraint aggressive behaviour emotionally unstable rage intent misanthrope

Feelings: remorse hatred rage understanding fear helplessness

Strong sides: power gaps in the law approval silence manipulation patriarchy relativisation normalisation

Feelings: Compassionate Hatred Identification Indifference Lack of understanding

Strong sides: Power Building self confidence More flexible Amiable Independence More mature

Scared It’s none of my business Unaware Empowered Part of a psychological group Genovese syndrome Indirect support Tolerate violence

Feelings: Anger Understanding Apathy

Victim Traits: Introvert Weakness Different Aggressive Scared Vindictive Limited Insecure Pessimist Unsatisfied

Witnesses Traits Have empathy Have courage Empowered Informed Delayed reaction Supporting violence Passive No empathy Uninterested

Strong sides: Power Power of change

After, the groups have a task to prepare a sculpture which would portray their vision of the roles.

Preparation:

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Scene development shall incorporate structural and cultural violence. The groups shall be divided in two subgroups and both groups work in two separate rooms on the same task. The task of the group is to ďŹ rst gather the topics for the scene, and then work on preparing one of them.

Presentation and scene analysis The possibility of change and inuence on structural or cultural violence.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

Dealing with fear The goals of this training: - Facing our emotions in stressful situations - Trying out new ways to deal with fear Main questions: - What are the usual reactions in stressful situations and why?

- What are the possible reactions when dealing with fear?

Situations in which I felt fear Dividing the participants in small groups where they discuss the topic: Situations in which I felt fear”.

After going back to that situation what were the emotions during the discussion?

And on the topic: While I was listening, I felt...

My fears - from where do they originate?

Each participant should think and write something about the topic “My Fears” and “From where do they originate”. They have 20 minutes. After that papers shall be collected and displayed.

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STRATEGIES FOR EFFECTIVE HELPING Preliminary Action Steps 1. Identify the bias 2. Form a goal based on the source of the bias – Change negative beliefs – Change negative attitudes – Change discriminatory behavior 3. Determine the safest and most effective way to address the bias.

4. Decide which strategy to use.

Strategies 1. Reduce the tension a. Ask the person to talk positively about themselves. b. Tell a story c. Compliment the person or talk about something you have in common.

2. Then Pick a Strategy Individuation Approach Try to get the person to see others as individuals instead of members of a disliked group.

• Highlight things about a targeted group member that are different from perceptions.

• Tell them something about the targeted member so that the person could get to know and appreciate them as individuals.

Recategorization or Common Identity Approach Get others to see that the targeted group is similar to others and shares similar goals.

• Highlight things the person and targeted group share in common.

• Discuss issues that affect both the person and the targeted group • Think of other ways to get the person to see things from a different perspective.

Confrontation Approach Point out the inconsistency in the person’s actions and stated beliefs.

• Point out a statement as a potential bias.

• Ask the person if they think all people should be treated equally and then point out how their views contradict that.

• Ask the individual if they value diversity then remind them of how they might unfairly stereotype others.

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Confrontation can make the person angry and cause him/her to lash out or seek revenge. A person should RARELY use this approach.

Action Steps 1. Be Ready You know at some point you will hear or see something inappropriate or discriminatory. Think of yourself as the one to STEP UP! Be prepared and know what you will say and how you will handle it.

“Why do you say that”?

“Do you really mean what you just said”?

Identify the Behavior 2. Point out someone’s behavior to help them hear what they are really saying.

“So, what I hear you saying is all student - athletes don’t care about academics?”

Appeal to Principles 3. Call on a person’s higher principles.

“I’ve always thought you were fair-minded.” It shocks me to hear you say something so biased.”

Set Limits – Draw a line 4. You can’t control others but you can make others aware of what you will not tolerate.

“Don’t tell racist jokes or use that language in my presence anymore. If you do, I will leave.”

Follow through if you make statements like this.

Find an Ally/Be an Ally Seek out like-minded people and build strength in numbers.

Strategies source: www.tolerance.org Consider Their Perspective • Imagine what the person is thinking/feeling • Imagine being in the situation • Imagine being the person • What would you want someone to do for you?

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THE ACTION CONTINUUM Supporting Oppression >>>>>> Confronting Oppression Actively Participating: Telling oppressive jokes, putting down people from target groups, intentionally avoiding target group members, discriminating against target group members, verbally or physically harassing target group members.

Denying: Enabling oppression by denying target group members are oppressed. Does not actively oppress, but by denying that oppression exists, colludes with oppression.

Recognizing, No Action: Is aware of oppressive actions by self or others and their harmful eects, but takes no action to stop this behavior. This inaction is the result of fear, lack of information, confusion about what to do. Experiences discomfort at the contradiction between awareness and action.

Recognizing, Action: Is aware of oppression, recognizes oppressive actions of self and others and takes action to stop it.

Educating Self: Taking actions to learn more about oppression and the experiences and heritage of target group members by reading, attending workshops, seminars, cultural events, participating in discussions, joining organizations or groups that oppose oppression, attending social action and change events.

Educating Others: Moving beyond only educating self to questions and dialogue with others too. Rather than only stopping oppressive comments or behaviors, also engaging people in discussion to share why you object to a comment or action.

Supporting, encouraging: Supporting others who speak out against oppression or who are working to be more inclusive of target group members by backing up others who speak out, forming an allies group, joining a coalition group.

Initiating, preventing: Working to change individual and institutional actions and policies that discriminate against target group members, planning educational programs or other events, working for passage of legislation that protect star get group members from discrimination, being explicit about making sure target group members are full participants in organizations or groups.

When confronted with discrimination, I should: 1. Stand up for what I believe even if I think I am the only one.

2. Say something when someone makes a discriminatory remark.

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LGBT RIGHTS AND YOUTH WORK Battling homophobia and bullying among youth

3. Do something when someone treats another disrespectfully.

4. Think about how the person being discriminated against feels.

SCENARIOS Discussion Questions • Have you ever said something you didn’t mean? Did you consider how someone else might take it?

• Do you think people sometimes discriminate more based on their perception that individuals had a choice in their condition as opposed to something that was out of their control?

Scenario 1 You are hanging out with teammates and one of them makes a very insulting remark about someone’s alleged sexual orientation. They go on to sarcastically say that they won’t be rooming with that teammate on road trips. You find it inappropriate.

What do you do?

Scenario 2 You are enrolled in a class and know you will be missing quite a few times due to team travel. Your professor states that if there are any student-athletes in the class they should probably drop it because most likely they won’t pass.

What do you do?

Scenario 3 You are walking from your team locker room past another team’s locker room and you hear white players saying derogatory comments about a teammate while using the “N” word.

What do you do?