Revision Assignment - Dramatizing Your Ideas

Princesleah Aguilera WRIT 3330 02 May 2018 Dr. Amy Clements Revision Assignment #6 – Dramatizing Your Ideas List of 10 one-sentence pointers paraphrased from this chapter.

1. Phrase your sentences in a fresh way.

2. Phrase so that you pull your readers eagerly pass along.

3. Plot when dealing with paragraphs and whole pages.

4. Vary your paragraph lengths creatively and add subtitles!

5. Be hyperconscious of your storyline and plot.

6. Make lists obvious and format them to show importance.

7. Learn to write through the readers eyes so you can’t write what they want to read.

8. Make it coherent.

9. Make it reasonably dramatic.

10. Stage your key points so they get noticed.

Text of any length, published or unpublished, that makes you fall asleep.

ISNA EDUCATION FORUM PAPERS ISNA Education Forums on the west coast and in Chicago are two important annual events for Muslim educators in North America for many years. They provide professional growth, high quality educational materials, pertinent training, networking opportunities and motivation for improvement. These forums gather together hundreds of teachers, administrators and board members of full-time Islamic schools to discuss and exchange ideas pertaining to the development of Islamic educational institutions in America.

The American Muslim cultural paradigm presents unique challenges. For Islamic schools in America the efforts to combine academic excellence with emphasis on Islamic morals have proved very fruitful. Having survived the initial challenges of galvanizing community support to establish a school, Islamic schools are now attempting to find the most effective means to build curriculum and programs that will strengthen the Islamic faith and academic excellence of their students. These schools continue to build on every level to enable their students to succeed in a competitive and increasingly multicultural and interdependent world. The ISNA Education Forum has striven to be a major platform for this critical endeavor from its inception in the year 2000.

Many scholarly presentations have been presented at the ISNA Education Forums in previous years. Some of these papers are being presented here for the benefit of Islamic school teachers, researchers, and students engaged in studying the phenomenon of Islam in America.

ISNA Education and Programs Development Department is committed to provide much needed services and support to Muslim educators and Islamic schools.

May Allah SWT help and guide us in serving the true message of Islam – Ameen.

Mukhtar Ahmad, Ph.D. Director, Education and Programs Development Department Letter to the author of the text giving specific examples of opportunities to incorporate those 10 pointers to make the manuscript lively and engaging for a mainstream audience, compile (by re-typing) 10 sentences of published sentences that exemplify a violation of 10 of those tips. Provide the author’s name, the title of the work, and the date of publication.

Dear Mukhtar Ahmad, I have read your introduction to the ISNA Education Forum Papers. I would recommend revising certain areas. I feel that they may not have reached their full captivity, but definitely have the potential to. I’ll provide some example for now! Thanks.

1. ISNA Education Forums provide a. Growth b. High quality educational materials c. Pertinent training d. Networking opportunities e. Motivation for improvement.

2. In the first sentence, your readers want to know exactly how many years the forums have been active. Stating that will give you an immediate hook.

3. Overall spacing, there wasn’t much white space for your readers to take a break.

4. Try not to start the second paragraph with “The American Muslim cultural paradigm presents unique challenges.” Instead, try to dramatize the Islam/America cross culture pedagogy and how it’s advancing and being helpful.

5. Change “These schools continue to build on every level to enable their students to succeed in a competitive and increasingly multicultural and interdependent world.” To “These schools continue to enable their students success in a competitive, multicultural and interdependent world.” Freshly phrase your sentence.

6. You might want to also stage your key points, so they get noticed better. Change “These forums gather together hundreds of teachers, administrators and board members of fulltime Islamic schools to discuss and exchange ideas pertaining to the development of Islamic educational institutions in America.” To “These forums discuss the issues

between Islam/American education, present scholarly presentations, and providing the needs and services to Muslim schools and educators.

7. I would begin with stating that these education forums seek to “Unify Islamic education in North America.” Putting this at the beginning will help build Plot when dealing with paragraphs and whole pages.

8. Overall, I found the introduction to be educational, but not what the reader wants to hear.

I would have appreciated more highlights and dramatizing the ideas to convince your readers of the good you are doing.

9. Be hyperconscious of your storyline and plot. Overall, the entire introduction to the papers didn’t prepare me for the actual papers that I needed to read. Plan to make it an outline of what the papers hold and list the main points in the introduction.

10. I think varying the paragraph length could also help as well as adding subtitles for the sections you’re covering.

I loved your work and appreciate your introduction, but it could also use the revising work.

Thank you!

Princesleah Aguilera