Metr- - 8 - Aug. 5, 2004

August 5 – 18 Volume 1 ■ Issue 8

Churches Oppose LDS Statement Episcopalians: Same-sex unions will still be blessed

Center Names Executive Director Beyer: Center to become “better representative” of community

Sex Toys Banned Judge: No constitutional right to privacy exists in the bedroom

Decent Exposure Fragrance-maker Holbrook shoots erotic ad campaign Sports Hungarian wrestler kicked off team after appearing in gay porn

A&E “Candidates” in reality show compete for bucks, bully pulpit

Red, White & Bubbly Democratic convention drives Jarvis to ... sip

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News WORLD AND NATIONAL

House Approves Marriage Protection Act

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

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AUGUST 5, 2004

Only one week after the Federal Marriage Amendment’s defeat in cloture on the Senate Floor, the House of Representatives in favor of the Marriage Protection Act (HR 3313), which would prevent federal courts — including the US Supreme Court — from ruling on the constitutionality of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. In the 233 to 194 vote, 206 Republicans and 17 Democrats voted in the bill’s favor while 176 Democrats, 17 Republicans and a sole independent voted against it.

Despite Republican Texas Rep. Tom DeLay’s calls for the debate to remain calm, the discussion became nearly as heated as the Senate’s debates on the FMA. Rep. John Conyers, Jr. D-Mich., said that the resolution was “not about marriage” but about “whether the third branch of government, the judiciary, since Marbury v. Madison will continue to be the arbiter of what is constitutional in the American system.” This watershed 1801 Supreme Court ruling was made when Thomas Jefferson forbade his secretary of state from delivering assignments to justices appointed under his predecessor John Adams. The concept of “judicial review” was created, under which the high court could rule laws passed by Congress unconstitutional.

“To deny any branch, any issue the right to full judicial review would bring about

more chaos than even the proponent of this change, which is patently unconstitutional, would want,” Conyers said, noting that the resolution was “the first of its kind” to ever appear before the House.

“I want to urge to you that the reason is that we are actually stripping the federal courts from jurisdiction that has historically been theirs,” he continued. “Now, what would have happened had conservatives decided during the civil rights battles of the sixties … that we would just take the decisions away from the courts, or Brown v. the Board or any of the tests against the Civil Rights Act, the Voter Rights Act, would have had nowhere to go had someone come across this incredibly weird decision.”

Further, Rep. John D. Dingell, D-Mich., called the legislation “an outrage.”

“I do not know whether you are for or against gay marriage, and I do not think it makes a great deal of difference,” he said.

“I happen to oppose the idea. But this is an extraordinary piece of arrogance on the part of the House of Representatives to consider a piece of legislation which would strip American citizens of their right of access to the courts.”

“It is a precedent which is going to live to curse us,” he continued, “and we are going to live to regret this day’s labor because other precedents will be following this, wherein we will strip the rights from citizens to go to

schools, to have questions relative to their equal rights … all of the important questions of the Constitution. Rights under the 14th and the 15th and the 13th amendments, those will also be precedents which could follow this.”

Nonetheless, some Representatives, including Chris Cannon, R-Utah, said the legislation was necessary to defend judges from forcing gay marriage onto states which did not want legalize it. “Because of the Constitution’s Full Faith and Credit Clause, this judicial activism may be forced upon all the remaining states, including Utah, undermining the traditional definition of marriage and family,” Cannon said. “When the judicial branch loses its moral compass, it is the responsibility of the Congress to exert its authority to keep the judicial branch in check.”

Groups opposed to the legislation, including the Human Rights Coalition and the American Civil Liberties Union said that the HR 3313 would effectively single out gay citizens from taking their grievances to court.

“If you deny the Supreme Court the power to decide minority rights, you dramatically alter the balance of power between the court, which exists to protect constitutional rights, and the Congress, which addresses political issues,” said attorney Paul Smith, who successfully argued the Lawrence vs. Texas ruling which overturned state sodomy laws in June 2003.

Utah’s Republican Representatives Rob Bishop and Chris Cannon, as well as Democrat Jim Matheson, voted for the bill. Only Cannon addressed the House on the issue.

Coors Targeted by Radical Right Mailer Republican U.S. Senate candidate Pete Coors has drawn the fire of the Christian Coalition of Colorado for his opposition to a ban on taxpayer funding of companies that provide benefits to same-sex partners.

His opponent in the August 10 Republican primary, former U.S. Rep. Bob Schaffer, supports the ban.

The Christian Coalition sent 100,000 fliers to voters’ households depicting Coors next to a picture of a man wearing a blond wig, cut-off T-shirt, a black garter and a bikini bottom. He is Republican U.S. Senate pursing his lips and candidate Pete Coors holding a 12-pack of Coors Light. The coalition added a “censored” strip over the man’s buttocks.

The Coors campaign has blasted the mailing as a “smear tactic” and a sign of Schaffer’s desparation.

Republican political analysts are predicting a potential backlash to the extreme tactics of the Christian Coalition.

The Coors family has long been targeted by the gay and lesbian community for their financial support of extreme right think tanks and organizations, including the Heritage Foundation and Utah’s Sutherland Institute.

Alabama Court Upholds Restoration Church Ban on Dildo Sales Disappointed at LDS The 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals voted July 28 to preserve an Alabama law that Statement on Marriage makes the sale of sex toys punishable by up to a year in prison, despite the Supreme Court’s June 2003 ruling in Lawrence vs. Texas which struck down state sodomy laws.

In a written opinion similar to the one he took in a ruling over Florida’s anti-gay adoption law earlier this month, Judge Stanley F. Birch said that the Supreme Court had not ruled on the issue of sexual privacy in Lawrence.

Additionally, he said that Alabamans, not federal judges, should have the right to rule on whether or not “a prohibition of sex toys is misguided, or ineffective, or just plain silly.”

Additionally, Birch said that allowing a higher court to rule on this matter may create a dangerous precedent: “[I]f we today craft a new fundamental right by which to invalidate the law, we would be bound to give that right full force and effect in all future cases — including, for example, those involving adult incest, prostitution, obscenity, and the like.”

In her dissenting opinion, Judge Rosemary Barkett said that the ruling violated Americans’ rights “to be left alone in the privacy of their bedrooms.” She also called the decision “demeaning and dismissive.”

One year after the 1998 law banning sex toys in Alabama was created, a federal trial judge ruled it unconstitutional. However, the 11th Circuit Court vacated that ruling in favor of giving further consideration to the ways in which sex laws had been enforced over a longer period of time. — JV

Elder Larry Tidwell, Presiding Patriarch to the Restoration Church of Jesus Christ, a church consisting mostly of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members, issued the following statement to Salt Lake Metro Aug. 1 regarding the LDS Church’s statement supporting state and federal constitutional amendments banning gays and lesbians from marrying: “We are disappointed and saddened that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints would take a position on gay marriage that they have considering their history and their previous ability to promote civil rights among Americans. We do find it ironic that they would teach that the Constitution is divinely inspired and then seek to change it,” said Tidwell. “Latter-Day Saints came across the plains seeking religious freedom and the right to live their lives in a peaceful manner without being bothered by anybody. For a church that proclaims to teach the love of God to say that they want to take away rights from gay and lesbian Americans is antithetical to what they’ve previously taught.”

Latter-Day Saints who had largely been excommunicated for being gay founded the Restoration Church of Jesus Christ in Los Angeles, California, in 1985. Today the church, which Tidwell described as open and welcoming to everyone regardless of sexual orientation, has temples in Salt Lake City and California and members from all over the world. — JV

Idaho Rep. Decries Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment

Sen. John Edwards and Sen. John Kerry at the 2004 National Democratic Convention in Boston, Mass.

Democrats Stand up for Gays at National Convention a cheering crowd waving thousands of darkblue Stonewall Democrats signs.

Senator John Kerry, in his acceptance speech, urged President Bush to reject the divisive politics that scapegoat the gay and lesbian community. “I want to address these next words directly to President George W. Bush,” Kerry told the convention floor. “In the weeks ahead, let’s be optimists, not just opponents. Let’s build unity in the American family, not angry division. Let’s honor this nation’s diversity; let’s respect one another; and let’s never misuse for political purposes the most precious document in American history, the Constitution of the United States.”

Utah’s only Democratic representative, Jim Matheson, did not attend the convention. — MA

Missouri Faces Marriage Ban

Events Editor Greg Harrison Sports Editor David Nelson Contributing Writers Scott Abbott, Brandie Balken, Lee Beckstead, Xenia Cherkaev, Janice Eberhardt, Jace Garfield, Beau Jarvis, Lynette Malmstrom, Laurie Mecham, LaDonna Moore, Rob Orton, William T. Park, Scott Perry, Nicholas Rupp, Mandy Q. Racer, Ruby Ridge, Joel Shoemaker, Jim Struve, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben Williams Photographers Lucy Juarez, William H. Munk, Shauna Sanchez Proofreader Nicholas Rupp Art Director Michael Aaron Graphic Designer Kris Kramer Marketing and Public Relations Director Chad Keller Sales Director and Office Manager Steven Peterson Sales Executives 801-323-9500 | 877-870-0727 Jill Brooks | jill@slmetro.com Sebastian Cruz | sebastian@slmetro.com Distribution Chad Keller, Director Courtney Moser, Northern Utah Copyright © 2004 Salt Lake Metro.

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institution: the definition of marriage from the courts.”

The amendment’s opponents, such as Dick Kurtenbach, executive director of the Kansas City ACLU chapter, said the amendment would damage the state’s system of checks and balances.

Gay couples, such as Brian Riegle and Patrick McWilliams of Lee’s Summit, said they hoped for a compromise.

“With us not being legally married, some of the benefits that could help us are not there,” he said. “The state could recognize civil unions for both heterosexuals and homosexuals as legal entities but give the right to marry to a couple who is man and woman.”

Republican state Rep. Bryan Pratt agreed with Riegle, saying that while the state should look at giving same-sex couples similar rights to straight married couples, “the compromise is to recognize some of those freedoms … Take a closer look at some of those and allow folks to make decisions for themselves.” — JV

Editor Brandon Burt

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In a move which has ignited an already bitter in-state debate on same-sex marriage, the Missouri legislature voted July 27 to put amend its state Constitution illegalizing gay marriage on the November ballot.

Although Missouri already defines unions between samesex couples as invalid, Republican state Rep. Doug Erving said that the amendment was necessary to prevent judges from ruling state law Dick Kurtenbach unconstitutional, as Massachusetts judges did last year.

“The bill was important because, in my mind, I’m not going to allow judges to redefine the institution of marriage,” said Erving. “The only misconception is this has to do with discrimination and it doesn’t.

The purpose of doing this is to protect this

Publisher Michael Aaron

AUGUST 5, 2004

The 2004 Democratic National Convention drew over 500 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender delegates and alternates to Boston, according to John Marble, communications director of National Stonewall Democrats. Three of the 29 delegates from Utah were gay or lesbian, making the Utah delegation one of the largest in percentage of openly-gay representatives.

A luncheon hosted by Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., for the NSD drew many Democratic leaders, including New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, Representative Tammy Baldwin and congressional candidate Jim Stork of Florida.

At a Wednesday caucus that drew a crowd of over 500, Teresa Heinz Kerry spoke on how the gay and lesbian movement isn’t where it should be yet in accomplishments and how a Kerry/Edwards administration would move the community forward. She spoke of how a gay man, whose mother had not yet accepted him, once told her that he wished she was his mother. She told the audience, “At least, if nothing else, you will have a mom in the White House.”

Actor Ben Affleck also addressed the caucus, saying, “Gay, lesbian and transgender Americans are just that: Americans. And they deserve every goddamn right as every other American.”

Rep. Frank spoke on the floor of the convention on behalf of the Stonewall Democrats.

“I want to begin, on behalf of the National Stonewall Democrats, the gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual wing of the Democratic Party, with an apology. I am sorry that the thought of two women who are in love, seeking in Florida to solemnize that love in a marriage, so disorganized my Republican colleagues that they decided to put aside the business of America; that they decided a couple of weeks ago that we couldn’t deal with homeland security or a highway bill or education or health care.

And they had to try to knock a big hole in the U.S. Constitution,” Congressman Frank told

In a July 27 meeting with the Post Register editorial board in Idaho Falls, the U.S. Congressional representative who created Idaho’s anti-gay marriage law advised against writing an definition of marriage into the state constitution.

“Passing a constitutional amendment in Idaho would do absolutely nothing,” said U.S. Rep. Michael Simpson, R-Idaho.

Although Simpson orchestrated efforts in 1996 to create Idaho’s own Defense of Marriage Act, some conservative Idaho lawmakers revived the issue on the House floor in the form of an anti-gay marriage amendment to the state constitution.

The proposal passed the house only to have the state Senate’s leadership committee block it.

The bill’s supporters have indiIdaho Rep. Michael Simpson, author of cated they Idaho’s anti-gay marriage law. will raise the issue again during next year’s session.

Simpson said he opposes the amendment because the Supreme Court of the United States could overturn a state amendment just as easily as they could overturn a state law. Therefore, a policy at the federal level would be needed to ensure that states could decide for themselves whether or not to recognize gay marriages. — JV

News LOCAL AND REGIONAL

DOMA Author Speaks out Against Marriage Amendments

JOEL SHOEMAKER

by Joel Shoemaker Local gay groups are getting unlikely support in the fight against anti-marriage constitutional amendments.

Former Rep. Bob Barr (R-Georgia, 19952003) authored the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which was signed into law in 1996

by President Clinton. The law defined marriage for federal law purposes as a heterosexual union, and allowed states to not have to recognize same-sex marriages from other states.

DOMA author former Georgia Rep. But, as he Bob Barr in Salt Lake for the National explained Conference of State Legislators July 22 in Salt Lake City at the National Conference of State Legislatures, Barr is also a staunch opponent to constitutional amendments that ban same-sex marriage.

“Constitutional amendments raise a lot of red flags,” he told the group. He says a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage would limit states’ rights. And even though DOMA has yet to be challenged as unconstitutional, he believes it will be upheld and be adequate to stop the federal government from having to recognize gay and lesbian marriages.

He also spoke out against the Marriage Protection Act, a bill passed in the U.S. House to stop courts from looking at cases dealing with DOMA. Barr said it was “dangerous” for Washington to tell courts what to do, and doubted the bill would withstand challenge.

“We ought to have respect for the judicial system,” he said.

But other speakers at the forum disagreed with Barr.

Vincent McCarthy of the American Center for Law and Justice argued that an amendment to the U.S. Constitution is necessary to protect heterosexual marriage, and said anything less would endanger children.

“To protect children, we need more than just DOMA,” he told the crowd. He sited studies allegedly finding that children from “fatherless” and “motherless” families weren’t as well-adjusted, and said that same-sex couples qualified as being “fatherless” or “motherless.” Several attendees during the question-and-answer portion of the forum challenged that notion.

Opposition to federal amendments banning same-sex marriage came from another speaker, Seth Kilborn, of the Human Rights Campaign. He told the crowd the amendments were “unnecessary, discriminatory, and undermining of state and federal constitutions.”

The forum comes as local gay groups like the Don’t Amend Alliance and Equality Utah continue efforts to fight a proposed Utah state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, on the general election ballot in November.

Chad Beyer, newly appointed executive director of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Utah.

Center Taps Beyer for Director Spot

by Mandy Q. Racer The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Utah appointed Chad Beyer as its new executive director July 26, filling the seat vacated by Paula Wolfe last April. Beyer is from Grand Rapids, Michigan; he moved with his partner, Matt Cockrum, to Utah last July when Cockrum became minister at Ogden’s Unitarian Universalist Church.

Beyer cites the Center as “one of the reasons why I thought it might be okay to move to Utah. When Matt was starting to consider ministry in Ogden, I started doing internet research and of course quickly found the Center online. It made it feel okay to move here.”

Growing up in Grand Rapids prepared Beyer for the political atmosphere that exists in Salt Lake. “The population is about the same size as the metropolitan area around Grand Rapids, in western Michigan.

And the politics in western Michigan are Christian Reform. So it’s very right wing. It’s the dominant religion. It’s very similar to Salt Lake City.”

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AUGUST 5, 2004

Call for Entries: Mr. Salt Lake Leather 2004 Contestants Those interested in competing for the title of Mr. Salt Lake Leather 2004 are invited to apply. Contestants must be male, age 21 or over, identify as gay or bisexual and have a leather fetish. During the event, they will have to demonstrate they have the attitude and appearance to win, as well as an interest in the leather communities of Salt Lake and Utah.

Judges, all experienced in the leather scene and from the Salt Lake area, will determine the winner during the Wasatch Leathermen’s Association Fourth Annual Blue Alley Fair, Sept. 18 at Club 161 — a private club for members.

The winner will be named Mr. Salt Lake Leather 2004 and will win both a studded leather sash and sponsorship to the International Mr. Leather 2005 contest, to be held in Chicago May 26-31.

During the title year, he will represent the Salt Lake and Utah leather communities in public, as well as help to organize and appear at fund-raising events.

For answers to questions or to receive a contestant application, please e-mail omahajay@yahoo.com or jeffincognito@hotmail.com.

The task of taking the Center’s helm is daunting considering the major changes that the Center is currently undergoing, including a physical restoration as well as the recent terminations of coffee shop employees and assistant director Darin Hobbs.

Many within the queer community have expressed unease about the Center’s future.

“I have heard people say that the Center needs to become a better representative of the entire community, across racial lines, across gender lines, across class lines — it’s a problem that exists everywhere. If we’re able to make a change in that, we truly are going to be doing special work,” Beyer said.

If a rift does indeed exist between the Center and the community it intends to serve, it seems logical to turn to that community for the answer. This encapsulates the plan Beyer has already set in motion: “We are embarking on a strategic planning process which is going to involve, really, a lot of discussion in the community about what the greatest needs are and what is the greatest potential for the Center to meet those needs.”

The goal is to complete the research by October 11, National Coming Out Day, at which time the board of directors “as well as other key stakeholders in the community,” will join together during a retreat to implement the strategic plan.

“What’s important to me,” Beyer stressed, “is that whatever kinds of changes we make at the Center really come from the voices of the community. I’m not prepared to say we’re going to make this change or that change. That would be putting the cart before the horse. We really need to have the discussion first and listen, have people help us understand how we can improve our services and then make some decisions based on what we’re hearing.”

Beyer looks forward to the successful implementation of the Center’s strategic plan: “I hope that the Center in five years would be a more vital center of the community, that a greater number of people across the broader spectrum of our community would feel that this was the place where they could receive resources and support.”

Local Religious Leaders Oppose LDS Statement

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

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Several Utah church leaders have voiced their opposition to a July 6 LDS Church statement in favor of banning same-sex marriage in state and federal constitutional amendments. The statement from the church’s governing First Presidency read: “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints favors a constitutional amendment preserving marriage as the lawful union of a man and a woman.”

Rev. Dee Bradshaw, a former LDS Church member and now pastor of Salt Lake’s Metropolitan Community Church, said that the MCC has not issued an official statement regarding the LDS declaration to the best of his knowledge. Nonetheless, he said that the denomination, which has performed samesex unions since its founding in 1968, would oppose the statement on principle.

“In line with what the national body says, we disagree with this [statement] strongly, and with denying people their civil rights,” he said.

Further, Bradshaw said that the LDS statement did not surprise him. “This is very mild, considering what they’ve done in the past,” he said, referring to the LDS church’s attempts in 1999 and 2000 to back gay marriage prohibitions in Hawaii and Alaska, as well as California’s Proposition 22, also known as the Knight Initiative. At this time, the LDS church asked its members to donate time and money towards these measures’ passing and raised $840,000 to back the Knight Initiative.

“The LDS Church has every right to become a political body and state a political position, but not under the guise of a religious body,” said Maureen Duffy-Boose, board chairman for the Chalice of the Rainbow Flame chapter of the Covenant of Universalist Unitarian Pagans (CUUPS).

Duffy-Boose also said that Utah’s CUUPS chapter, as a member of the Unitarian Universalist Association, supported a statement made by William Sinkford, the UUA’s current president, in which Sinkford said, “Civil marriage is a civil right.”

“Therefore, all CUUPS chapters I’m aware of will not now or ever support a policy that would deprive U.S. citizens of the right to civil marriage,” Duffy-Boose said.

Duffy-Boose added that while several UUA churches across the nation had posted banners with Sinkford’s statement outside their buildings, several Unitarian congregations — particularly more conservative branches in Massachusetts — have not adopted this position. This is because, while Sinkford was speaking in an official capacity, he was not dictating church policy.

“The UUA isn’t made up of any one doctrine,” she said, so there may be people who don’t agree with Sinkford’s statement.

While Utah’s Episcopal Diocese has not released an official statement about the LDS Church’s position, the Right Reverend Bishop Carolyn Tanner Irish published “a couple of weeks ago giving her feelings regarding efforts here in Utah to amend the Constitution,” said Rev. Lee Shaw. The Utah diocese has developed “three separate liturgies that could be used, with the bishop’s approval, for the blessing of unions between

two men or two women.”

At its General Convention last year in Minneapolis, the Episcopal Church approved a general resolution to allow diocese to “develop their own liturgies for the blessing of [same-sex] unions.”

The diocesan website says that while the “Anglican Christian tradition” of defining holy matrimony as “the union of a man and a woman” will be upheld in all Diocesan churches during Bishop Tanner Irish’s episcopacy regardless of what “may happen in the context of civil law.”

Same-sex unions can be blessed, provided that the clergy and couple follow certain rules. For example, the bishop must consent to all such blessings, the presiding clergy must use pre-approved liturgies, at least one partner must be a member of the Episcopal Church of Utah, and the ceremony’s solemnity must be “honored without undue publicity.”

Bishop Tanner Irish and Utah lay representatives voted in favor of ordaining Gene Robinson, an openly gay man, as New Hampshire’s bishop during last year’s Episcopal General Conference.

Shaw also said that Integrity, Utah had not yet released a statement on the LDS church’s position because the group “has had the summer off, so we haven’t really had a chance to discuss it.” He added that he would be meeting with other integrity officers Aug. 2, “and I’m sure that will be part of our conversation.”

“Speaking for myself, I’m very disappointed that this state is even considering amending the constitution to work into the highest law in the state language that is clearly prejudicial against a particular, rather distinct minority of citizens.”

“I really feel that the people of Utah are too good to have this kind of amendment,” he continued. “We come from a very distinctive past. We have welcomed foreigners and strangers into our state and our midst, and to even consider this kind of amendment, for me, goes against the grain of what makes Utah a very distinctive and good place to be.”

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is not the only church to have issued a statement against same-sex marriage. In the July 2003 letter “Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions between Homosexual Persons,” Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, head of the Catholic Church’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith wrote that while his church urged respect for “homosexual persons,” this respect could not “lead in any way to the approval of homosexual behavior or to legal recognition of homosexual unions” as doing so would “mean not only the approval of deviant behavior” but a failure to “protect marriage as the basis of the family.”

In their convention this June, the Southern Baptist Church also voted to support the Federal Marriage Amendment, and to exit the Baptist World Alliance on grounds that it contained some “welcoming and affirming” Baptist churches.

Educators Respond to “Safe Schools” Findings

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by Rob Orton The “Safe Schools” survey conducted by the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has prompted some responses by school officials [Salt Lake Metro, July 8].

The survey brought two main issues to the surface: the existence of harassment and the absence of adequate sexual education.

Utah Code includes a policy titled “Safe Schools” which prohibits violence, aggression, and disruptive behavior. It addresses possession of weapons, general physical assault, sexual assault, and hazing. However, other than gangs, there are no specific groups mentioned in the code.

Another Utah Code which addresses some of the problems with safety is a Salt Lake School District student anti-harassment policy. Revised in 2002, this policy is based on the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It is one line: “The Salt Lake City School District prohibits discrimination and harassment based on gender, age, race, national origin or disability.”

Many references in the code indicate that the only harassment subject to discipline is that which is specifically defined in the code — there are no statements that other types of discrimination or harassment are prohibited.

When asked to comment on the exclusion of “sexual orientation” from the list of protected classes, Salt Lake City School District director of public relations Jason Olsen said, “The other pocket that is not included in the policy is socio-economic status. Trying to put together a policy that includes everything may not be possible. There are some large gaps that may need to be addressed.”

“The policies and procedures are in place for harassment and bullying. A big goal of the district is to create a community of student advocacy. We need to create an atmosphere where there is somebody in the school whom gay and lesbian students feel they can comfortably talk with. Advocacy is a big issue for us.”

However, Utah law specifically prohibits “advocacy of homosexuality” within public schools. Jean Hill, prosecuting attorney for the State Board of Education, said, “Everybody is acting within the parameters of this law. And the language is so fuzzy. How does the educator draw the line on whether they are advocating?”

When it comes to protecting the students, policy is to stop any harassment, according to the district. Mark Peterson, public relations director at the Utah State Board of Education said, “Whether it be your skin color, hair color, religion, sexual orientation, or whatever, harassment and bullying are just not permitted in Utah schools — not that it doesn’t happen.”

Olsen said that the attention of many educators is concentrated on test scores. They don’t always have time to analyze policies and create new ways to apply codes in order to dodge the “fuzzy gray bubble” these cross-correlations create.

“There are different personal values that shouldn’t but do affect the reaction of the educator,” said Olsen. “There is no student we do not want to advocate for. Teachers work for students — they don’t work for a specific group of students. However, a teacher cannot be evaluated 100 percent of the time.”

The intention of placing verbiage about race, disability, national origin, and age is to remove this biased layer of assessment from the educator’s responsibility and give them a rigid hard line to follow, he said. Without the specific verbiage that harassment includes issues of sexuality, educators have been inclined to lean back on the next correlated code, which prohibits their advocacy.

Hill concurs. “If the lines are not clear, and educators are going to be slammed by the legislature, they are between a rock and a hard place,” she said.

“If the perception among gay and lesbian students is that they don’t have protection or a right to an education like anyone else, it is sad,” said Olsen. “If the only way all students will feel they have this right, maybe we need to add policy for sexual orientation. The important thing is that if a student feels their rights are being inhibited, go to someone. If they don’t get a response, go to someone else.

“We assumed that everyone had an understanding of what rights and needs people with disabilities have,” continued Olsen. “But in 1991, when congress enacted the Americans with Disabilities Act, we saw exactly what rights had been denied. It took an official document over an inch thick to make the nation look closely at these rights and needs and make adequate provisions — needs and rights that some contend to date are just common sense.”

Storrs to Take LCR in New Direction

by JoSelle Vanderhooft Although he’s only been at his job for a month, Gordon Storrs, new President of the Utah Log Cabin Republicans, has very definite ideas about his organization’s place in the GOP. Storrs points out a portion of a message from the chair of the Utah Republican Party which appeared in the program for this year’s state nominating convention: “The Republican Party has always had a special calling to advance the founding principles of freedom and limited government, and the dignity and worth of every individual.

These beliefs have made us successful both locally and nationally.”

According to Storrs, “Last year, they offered no dignity to gay relationships or gay families,” even to the point that when Democratic Rep. Jackie Biskupski called a point of order where she requested that gays and lesbians in the House gallery stand up before the final vote on HJR 25, “the Democrats all stood like you normally do to recognize the work of people who come to the legislature and the Republicans all sat but one. And most of them I didn’t even see applauding. To me, that pretty much negates what our chairman said at the convention. And if we really believe [what he said] — and I think it’s in the state and country platform — I think people in the party need to sit down together and talk about recognizing the dignity and worth of every gay person in the state despite the fact that most of them think we’re the word Senator Buttars used on the floor: not just immoral but ‘perverse.’”

While defending the dignity and worth of Utah gays and lesbians is Storrs’ top priority, this was not always the case. A life-long self-described “moderate Republican” and fiscal conservative, Storrs said he used to be more of an observer than a participant in his party, despite having been a precinct

chair at state and county Republican conventions and a committee council chairman in one of Salt Lake’s neighborhoods.

All that changed when he came out as gay three years ago: He faced the difficult decision of what to do in a party that “apparently doesn’t like my kind much.”

At about this time Storrs said he “somehow” got on LCR founder and then-president Kevin Cromer’s email list. Deciding that he couldn’t become a Democrat due to his Republican convictions and the lack of power Democrats have in Utah, Storrs decided to join the chapter.

“I couldn’t continue to be a Republican as I was in the past,” Storrs said. “Republicans today are dealing with more religious and moral issues that infringe on the lives of people rather than recognize the dignity of people,” such as defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman which, “in this state [is] an all-out war for gay people.”

And Storrs wants to involve Utah’s LCR chapter in this war by seeking to improve the organization’s structure, funding and communications system.

“The first thing I’ve got to do is create a strong board of those people who are most involved and make sure we have a good communications network,” he said, adding that he wants the Utah chapter to hook up to the national LCR website to facilitate better communication between the state and national branch.

“Also, all of us know we need to find the other gay Republicans out there and get them involved. We need to strengthen the group financially, so we’ll have a series of fund raisers and we’ll be approaching people who can support us with funds more than I hope we have in the past.”

“We want to continue being visible wherever anyone is trying to make decisions related to gay issues,” he added, “though we’re not only interested in that.”

Republican Candidate Maintains Close Ties With Gay Dad

by JoSelle Vanderhooft Although Utah Log Cabin Republicans President Gordon Storrs has considered running for various political offices in the past, such as school superintendent, he decided to refrain from doing so this year in order to “not to confuse voters” who might wonder why two Republican Storrs were on the ballot.

The second Republican is Gordon’s son John, a former Poplar Grove community councilman who is running against Democrat David Litvak for his Salt Lake representative seat in District 26 which encompasses Central City, Poplar Grove, Glendale and a small part of West Valley.

John Storrs, a member of the LDS church and the single father who describes his relationship with his father as “close,” said that his father’s coming out forced him to “reevaluate some of the convictions I had” about gays and lesbians, and their place in the larger community.

“It was family night and [we] were gathered to talk about a radical change in the family,” Storrs remembers. “For me there was no problem — I was always behind Dad. To this day, the family knows that if

we’re going to talk about Dad it’s going to be about what good he has done and what good he is doing; that he’s a good person, not that he’s a sinner or a pervert or not a member of the family anymore.”

Because of his father’s coming out and his subsequent involvement with the gay and lesbian community, Storrs said he is committed to talking to all people about their opinions on “the gay and lesbian issue.”

Additionally, he is committed to eliminating the atmosphere of “hatred and fear of the unknown” that surrounds most discussions of gay and lesbian issues in Utah.

“In this past year we have seen people attack the gay and lesbian community with language that has been in no way civil,” he said. “The problem with that kind of language is that there wasn’t a legislator, my opponent included, who said that kind of language is inappropriate. There needs to be a message that addresses that.”

Storrs also said that he does not think David Litvak’s hate crimes bill will solve this situation.

“In very many ways it isn’t an opposition to the bill and its content, but in this

atmosphere of fear it will never pass. Progress won’t happen. Positive change for the community won’t happen. It’s not positive persistence. Rather, it’s negative resistance to that compromise.”

In fact, Storrs said he has “great plans” for creating a new bill to replace this hate crimes legislation if he is elected. However, he said that nothing can be done until people can discuss gay and lesbian issues calmly.

“The first thing that we’re looking at doing is a resolution that will restore dignity and civility to the gay and lesbian community, that we will be able to discuss these issues side by side with education, with health services and there won’t be sniggering and closed-room conversations about this community.”

He said that the resolution will recognize “the great divide between the gay and lesbian community and anyone else, and recognizing this divide as part of finding a solution. It is understanding the need to compromise — and both sides need to do it — and I have a consensus in the community and different legislators who are willing to discuss without these attacks.”

Greg Rogler and Brent Godfrey, partners and owners of A Gallery, which has moved to the former Dodo Restaurant location.

Couple, Gallery Find New Home

by Joel Shoemaker “It feels terrific.”

“It feels like we’re home.”

Those are what partners Greg Rogler and Brent Godfrey have to say about the new space for their 21 year-old business, the A Gallery. Now in the former home of the Dodo Restaurant at 1321 S. 2100 East, the 9,000 square-foot art gallery and framing store is three times the size of their former location on Highland Drive.

In a business where galleries seem to come and go, one that has not only survived but also thrived is sometimes hard to find in Utah. On July 31, hundreds packed the A Gallery for its grand opening, and many said the gallery raised the bar for the Salt Lake City art scene.

This new location features two new areas. “Studio A” focuses on selective fine crafts, which are priced between $20 and $2,000. Also featured is an outdoor sculp-

ture garden, which shows about 10 to 15 large-scale pieces, adding to the thousands of pieces of art in the rest of the gallery. An expanded framing shop is also new to the location.

Started in 1983, the business is intertwined with the couple’s personalities, and their 17-plus year relationship.

Rogler, a New Hampshire native, got his start working part-time at a frame shop when he was 17, utilizing the engineering sense he says was passed down through his father. He continued to learn the craft at the Beards Frame Shop in Portland, Oregon, then moved to Utah after visiting for a ski trip.

Godfrey, a native of Roy, Utah, says he never thought about art as a career, pursing instead counseling psychology. He says selling hand-painted gift cards for $6 apiece is where he got his start. A decision to take a year off of work to paint changed much of the course of his life. “It was very freeing,” Godfrey says. “It was not acceptable to be an artist in my family — it was considered frivolous.”

After three years of Rogler doing custom framing on his own, the two met, and Godfrey joined the business by selling his own art.

“We agree on the big things,” says Godfrey explaining their partnership. “But when it comes to how you get there, our skills are very different.” The couple says that Godfrey is more of the visionary for the business, choosing the artists and developing the business plan, while Rogler handles the daily operations such as the framing.

“I’m creating the forest, while Greg is taking care of the trees,” says Godfrey.

While the roots of the business are in custom framing, the couple says for the last eight years the gallery has grown to be about 50 percent of their sales. Along with Godfrey’s works are those of renowned gay artists Trevor Southey and David Smith-Harrison. Godfrey says the gallery concentrates on having a limited number of artists, but representing them well.

About 30 are actively shown, with as few as one or two being added quarterly. Many of the prices on the paintings are in the thousands of dollars, but the couple says much of their success relies on the wide range of costs for the art, which can be as low as $350 and as high as $40,000. “We’re as happy to help the student trying to build their collection as the millionaire collector,” says Godfrey.

Choosing which art to sell in the gallery can be a struggle. Godfrey says they choose art that’s sophisticated, sincere, challenging and edgy. But since the goal is to sell the work, it also has to be accessible and comfortable for a home environment.

“We’re not a museum, we’re a gallery,” says Godfrey.

And after two decades and counting, Rogler and Godfrey still maintain their hands-on approach, and neither sees it changing any time soon.

“Many people when they run a business for 20 years start to rest a bit and let the employees run things,” says Godfrey.

“Here for us, we’re still putting in 60 hours a week.”

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They’ve Gone Too Far For the most part, Americans are a rational, fair-minded bunch. Of course, there are exceptions: people into whom it is simply impossible to talk good sense.

There are, for instance, the criminally insane — those who see nothing wrong with putting the blade of a meat cleaver through a person’s skull. Such people are best avoided, or locked up where they can’t hurt anybody.

Then there are the merely bullheaded — people who just won’t listen no matter how long you talk. Depending on whether such people also happen to be creative geniuses, this can be a good trait — look at Galileo, or Edison. Their perseverance in the face of adversity earned them well-deserved fame. As for those who are simply ordinary shmoes, wish them luck — they’ll need it.

Falling somewhere on the continuum between the bullheaded and the criminally insane, we find the far right-wing religious nuts. These are the folks who have had a conversion experience so profound it negates the validity of anybody else’s experience. The reason they’re so sure they’re right is because the Bible tells them so — and they’ll happily lock you up and torture you until you admit they’re right.

Of course, religious nuts are nothing new. The Crusades and the Inquisition spring to mind.

However, in the U.S. — which was, after all, founded by people so that they could escape that kind of religious persecution — it’s ironic that the Christian Menace has been allowed to thrive for so long. Sharing nothing in common with Christianity except its name, it has hidden behind our country’s religious freedom laws, growing and festering like a pimple, a canker, a tumor. Now it has reached critical mass, threatening the wellbeing of our nation and of good, freethinking people the world over.

A vehemently anti-gay movement has formed at the fetid tip of the right wing. The reason these reactionaries froth so violently at the mouth whenever the subject of marriage equity comes up is because they perceive a genuine threat — not a threat to heterosexual marriage (which is obviously unaffected by gay relationships) but a threat to heterosexual privilege.

Heterosexual privilege is the sense some straight people

have that they are entitled to special treatment — special marriage rights, special adoption rights, special consideration for jobs, housing and accommodations — simply by virtue of their sexual orientation.

Most heterosexuals are secure enough in their own relationships, and busy enough leading their own lives, that they don’t spend a lot of time meddling in ours. They cherish the traditional American values of self-reliance and tolerance and can’t be bothered to help cultivate a minority underclass simply to bolster their own sense of worth.

By seeking to restrict rather than expand civil rights, the anti-gay movement is trampling traditional American values and now seeks to defile the Constitution, our nation’s most sacred document. Spearheaded by a militant and vocal minority, the movement germinated among the most backward and intolerant of far right-wing religious nuts now threatens the moral fabric of our once-great society.

Such people use specious logic to pervert the words of genuine spiritual leaders: They speak of peace, yet promote war; they speak of love, yet spread fear and hatred; they speak of freedom, yet try to restrict it at every turn.

There was a time when such people carried on their nefarious deeds behind closed doors: They hid behind masks and under pillowcases, formed stealth campaigns, pretended to be ordinary, upstanding Americans. Now they carry on their campaign of intolerance right out in the open, aided by the Capitol Hill elite, a testament to how degenerate our culture has become.

We stood idly by when they vilified us in the media. We averted our gaze when they started taking over the schools — once glorious, enlightened institutions, now hopelessly benighted. Teachers are forbidden to mention the very word “gay” or to teach students how best to protect themselves from sexually-transmitted diseases. (Is it any wonder kids are now shooting each other?)

But now the religious right has gone too far. In the name of Christianity, they are threatening the sanctity of our gay relationships. We must not and we will not stand for it.

America’s future hangs in the balance.

Irresponsible? Sue Me

by William Todd Park Another group of lawyers is laughing all the way to the bank.

A suit filed by former theatre student Christina Axson-Flynn against the University of Utah was settled out of court. The suit alleged that Axson-Flynn would have to compromise her beliefs by using objectionable language as part of a role in class or flunk the course.

Todd Miller, scion of golf great Johnny Miller, also made news by withdrawing from the championship round because it was to be played on a Sunday. On the flip side, there’s the California atheist who cried foul, asserting that his daughter’s uttering the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance will warp her innocent mind. It might just make her believe in Smurfs.

Supremely stupid, Donald Drusky of East McKeesport, PA, actually sued “God, the sovereign ruler of the universe” for not taking some sort of “corrective action” against his enemies.

Self-serving attention seekers and frivolous lawsuits are nothing new in the land of the free. Greed, a Darwin Award in the making, and unscrupulous barristers make up a hellish combination that only Monty Python could improve upon.

But the legal system that is the cornerstone of our government actually advances the causes of idiots who haven’t yet figured out that coffee really is hot, a steady diet of fast food causes obesity, alcohol impairs judgment, and cigarette smoking just might give you cancer.

In an age where we are bombarded with more information in a single day than the average Joe could research in a lifetime just a century ago, we somehow have spawned a society of victims. A few sound bites from our so-called leaders will explain it with blinding clarity.

When was the last time you heard someone in authority take responsibility for an action, that is to say something really done, as opposed to taking the credit for someone else’s accomplishments? While we’re collectively scratching our heads, Curious George in the Oval Office is pointing at the whipping boy of the week, who in turn points elsewhere.

Where’s Harry Truman when the “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil” monkeys are the Washington executive mascots? Maybe if the buck stopped somewhere — anywhere — we’d be in better fiscal shape. But that’s another story.

What produced such arrogant greed and irresponsibility?

Despite the assertions that gay marriage would undermine the fabric of the family, Western civilization and the spacetime continuum, it’s a safe bet that gay marriage didn’t cause this pandemic of character defects. It really all boils down to cowardice and apathy.

Leaders — government, business, or spiritual — should not be allowed to get away with answering with the equivalent of “I didn’t know that was happening.” Simply stating what the problem is and formulating a plan to resolve it will make far more political capital than categorical denial of involvement.

When parents, bosses, and leaders are adult enough to admit a mistake, it has a therapeutic and contagious effect on those they influence. Is it so awful to admit a mistake? Is it so bad to be wrong? Of course not. But, perhaps a more pointed question should be “Do we have the guts to admit when we’re wrong?”

Blaming a boss, a politician, or God for life’s injustices or crimes of stupidity being rewarded won’t change a thing. We may not be able to alter our circumstances, but we have the ability and the authority to change ourselves.

It really is possible to be responsible for one’s own actions.

Instead of hopping on the class-action bandwagon, people might consider that the only ones getting wealthy from these large settlements are lawyers of the ambulance-chasing ilk.

Personal injury, wrongful death, and criminal negligence are no laughing matter, yet the legal system still needs purging of the frivolous cases that are best left to the comedians instead of the legitimate cases of grieving and wounded plaintiffs.

I don’t fault Christina Axson-Flynn for not wanting to compromise her morals. I admire her standing up for what she believes, even if I don’t happen to agree with those beliefs. I do shake my head in disgust for making a production out of the disagreement.

It proves without a doubt she earned an A in acting.

I don’t fault Todd Miller for not playing golf on Sunday, but again publicizing his moral high ground has turned a stand for faith into grandstanding. The son of a professional golfer should have no doubt that Sunday play is the norm for that vocation.

As for suing God, well, I think it’s fair to say that the plaintiff will never collect.

Letters Talking About Sex

Editor, I read with some interest the article “Coffee and Politics Under Discussion at Center Town Hall Meeting” [Salt Lake Metro, July 22, Joel Shoemaker]. Since I come from a state (Nevada) that has already passed an amendment banning gay marriage, and since I’ll be moving to Salt Lake City just before the election, I was bothered by the comment from Michael Mitchell: “If we make this about gay marriage, we’ll lose.”

Sadly, there isn’t enough political power to reframe the debate away from gay marriage.

Rhetoric aside, that’s all it’s about for 90 percent of the voters on both sides of the issue.

Why? Because gay marriage is a safe “code word” for casting judgment on the real issue — gay affection and sex. In the minds of most voters, it doesn’t matter if you’re talking about marriage or civil unions.

What we learned in Nevada is that no logical argument, no campaign slogan, is going to get around that. The best thing you can do under this attack is welcome the dialogue about gay affection and relationships and hope to impress enough people. Gay sex — well, any type of sex — is still considered “taboo,” and the only way to break a taboo is by talking about it often enough and with enough people that it’s no longer something discussed in hushed voices.

So get and keep the discussion going in the papers and on the nightly news, bring it up around the water cooler at work, and in the classrooms, discuss your relationships with your friends and families. The more you do this, the more people will begin to understand that there’s nothing “different” about the affection we, as gay and lesbian couples, feel toward each other. It may be too late to change people’s minds for this election, but it will change the minds of future generations who will grow up in an atmosphere that talks about this subject instead of hiding from it.

Jere Keys Las Vegas, NV

Kerry Should Support His Supporters Editor, I am a strong believer in many of the solutions that the Democratic Party proposed at the beginning of this Democratic National

Letters to the Editor

or fax 801-323-9986

Ruby Ridge is one of the more opinionated members of the Utah Cyber Sluts, a camp drag group of performers who raise funds and support local charities. Her opinions are her own and fluctuate wildly due to chai enemas and listening to Oliver North’s latest book on tape.

Cal Thomas Admits “Gays Have Won” Only 107 Shopping Days Left ’Til the Apocalypse

by John Emery In a recent Bill Moyer interview on PBS, conservative columnist and Christian-hate guru Cal Thomas admitted the inevitability of gay marriages and that the “gays have won.” He further used this as evidence that the final days are near, that there will soon be terrorist attacks and then I think famine, and then either plagues or floods and then something about trumpets and the angel Moroni will instruct the monks who flog themselves to pull the dead body of Jesus out of the cave because on December 25 a new baby will be born and something, something — okay I really didn’t listen that closely to his biblical rationale. It’s just that when someone’s brilliant idea is to put any passage from the Koran or the Book of Leviticus into our Constitution, I tend to tune out the part about the personal phone call from Jesus or Allah.

What struck me about this interview was not the long-overdue admission of failure from the Christianazis but rather the really heavy black shoe-polish dye in his hair and eyebrows, contrasting with a really heavy brown shoe-polish dye on his moustache.

I kept looking at him, wondering if maybe he drank something that washed out the dye coloring. Having experimented myself

with theatrical make-up, I know that crap is really hard to wash off.

So I’m thinking he drank something with notable alcohol content. What else could turn his mouth a Prada brown? Perhaps it took a stiff martini for him to finally admit that his efforts to replace the Constitution with the Ten Commandments are not going all that well.

As November approaches, the religiousright gloom with the upcoming elections can be expected to wash out the color of many Christian-hate pundits. Maybe we should institute a “wash-out” list of those mouthpieces that show up with bad moustache dye-jobs — those poor souls with their funny colored lip caterpillars sent out to mouth the “talking points” aboard Bush’s Titanic. Their pathos should do well with the pity crowd in some key districts, and may be entertaining to follow.

If Cal Thomas says “gays have won,” then it is so, especially to the sheep he fleeces — so sayeth their mouthpiece. Hellaluluya.

So if you don’t have cheap dye in your moustache, have a toast — preferably a little Chianti. Martha and Dr. Lector both rate this as the best beverage for dishes served chilled.

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Okay, everyone! In your best Petula Clark, let’s sing: “If you’re not Mo then you’ve got nowhere to go, ’cuz you’re not welcome in ... Downtown! Unless you’re a tourist or wearing your garments, you’re not meant to be … Downtown!”

I think you can see where I’m going with this, darlings! I need to get some things off my pendulous Double Ds — starting with the endless spin and apologist propaganda coming out of the Downtown Alliance concerning downtown. Honestly, petals, if I hear once more how diverse and cosmopolitan downtown Salt Lake City is, I will bitch-slap Lane Beattie clear into the next redevelopment area.

I will be the first to admit, muffins, that Salt Lake City has some great things going for it. The people are semi-friendly, crime is low, the streets and buildings are clean, transit is cheap and fairly convenient and so on. But there is one fundamental problem that impacts downtown that no one wants to fess up to. Salt Lake City does not belong to the people! There is no emotional attachment or sense of place for the hundreds of thousands of city dwellers who should be living, shopping and thriving in what should be their civic center and emotional home.

Why are we so detached from our own capitol city sweeties? Because huge swaths of downtown — and most of our public policies and planning objectives — are either privately owned or controlled by the LDS Church or its business interests.

Any relationship we have with the central business district has to be authorized by Bishop Burton and the Moroni Mafia, and filtered through their communications and missionary objectives.

The message is clear: This is our town and you are only a temporary guest. Either

a slight sense of ownership in downtown and feel that they have some type of determination in its future, then the central business district will always be on life support, one step from death. A new BYU campus and church-controlled mega-mall will just make the central city’s divisions more pronounced, without addressing our fundamental schism.

And no amount of insincere shilling by the Downtown Alliance, its subsidized concerts or the mayor appearing on Comedy Central with a cocktail in his hand will make a lick of difference.

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Salt Lake Metro reserves the right to edit for clarity and brevity. Letters under 300 words are given preference. True, full name, address and phone number must be included for verification purposes.

by Ruby Ridge

sign up as a missionary prospect or be dumped west of the Delta Center, you godless heathen. ’Preciate cha!

Now, I feel compelled to give credit where credit is due, pumpkins. The Mo’s do a fabulous job maintaining their facilities and landscaping. Temple Square and its environs are bedrock institutions of the city.

But besides being great photos for tourist brochures and making great vertical backdrops for Carole Mikita’s hair, there is no real public attachment to the LDS properties. It reminds me of those showplace living rooms of the fifties, with plastic furniture covers over the chairs: It looks fabulous and it’s easy to keep clean, but you can’t sit down.

Unless the people of Salt Lake City have

Salt Lake City

SALT LAKE METRO

or email letters@slmetro.com

There’s No “Me” in Mo-Town

Yana Walton

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Write us at: Metro Publishing, Inc. 352 S. Denver Street, Suite 350 Salt Lake City, UT 84111

Ruby Ridge Living

ing that amending the U.S. Constitution is a bad political move for the conservative right to make?

Maybe Kerry should listen to his critics who call him “wishy-washy” and a “flipflopper” and take some time to evaluate his own political tactics on this one. I believe it is sad that gays and lesbians must settle on a candidate who cannot fully commit to the representation of their rights when the gay community has fully committed to him.

Kerry, thanks for all your efforts to bring our troops home and work on affordable health care solutions. But please remember to support your supporters! Kudos to Rev. Al Sharpton for mentioning that the government should focus more on who isn’t getting fed in the kitchen than who’s doing what in the bedroom.

AUGUST 5, 2004

Salt Lake Metro welcomes letters from our readers. Rants, gushes, thoughtful diatribes, pats on the backs, incredulous expressions, rabble-rousing raves and maudlin sob stories are all welcome!

Convention, and I will vote for John Kerry in November. However, I want to vote for Kerry because I feel he is representing the values that I think will improve America, not just because “anyone is better than Bush.”

One major concern of mine came as I read through John Kerry’s quotes regarding the Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA) on Kerry’s web page (JohnKerry.com). The Human Rights Campaign as well as our own local Don’t Amend Alliance have come out in direct support of the Kerry/Edwards team for 2004.

Although Kerry said he would have voted against the FMA had it reached a congressional vote, neither he nor Edwards ever said that they support the right of all humans to receive equal benefits under the laws of their country.

According to the site, “The defeat of the Federal Marriage Amendment demonstrates … a big win for the Constitution of the United States. John Kerry and John Edwards are focusing on real priorities like homeland security, bringing back good jobs and making health care affordable unlike the Bush administration, which is intent on dividing the country.”

Looks like he’s quickly changing the subject to concentrate on “real priorities.” Looks like that’s a big win for the Constitution, but not for gay and lesbian Americans.

How does Kerry feel about the fact that gay and lesbian individuals pay the same amount as heterosexuals do into a Social Security system that does not benefit them if their partner dies, is disabled, etc.? Does Kerry believe that gays should be allowed civil unions or marriage because that is the egalitarian, compassionate, and fair stance to take, or does he evade a stance by claim-

A Thousand Words Mirror, Mirror

by Scott Perry

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No one in my family ever mentioned the word puberty — maybe because no one reached it until long after moving from home. The first time I saw pubic hair in junior high, I was shocked to find that it happened before marriage. I was a junior in high school when the blessed event finally happened to me. It was old hat to the rest of my friends, but for me, it was uncharted territory.

Before school adjourned for the summer, the various clubs spent some early mornings initiating their new members.

Our chorus was to go out one day at ohdark-hundred to wake the new singers from their sleep. We’d dress them in silly clothes and march them blindfolded through the streets of the city to perform various demeaning stunts. None of these, however, were nearly as embarrassing as the act I unwittingly performed for my classmates before we hit the house of our first inductee.

It was 5:00 a.m. or so. The group was coming by at 5:30 to pick me up. From there, we would begin rounding up the next generation of choristers. I switched on my bedroom light and — since my curtains were open — cast the first light of morning onto Pueblo Street.

My side of the glass acted as a mirror where I stared at my reflection for a minute trying to wake myself up. I rubbed my face and scratched my hair wondering whose bright idea it was to do these early morning hare-brained schemes.

I noticed a zit on my chin and looked closer to squeeze it, then became sidetracked by the whole “what-is-happening-to-my-body” thing. My shoulders

were broadening. I had shot up a couple of inches and had begun to sprout all sorts of things down under.

I don’t know if I was still half asleep or just stupid, but I stood on my bed to get a look at the whole shebang, forgetting that this wasn’t actually a mirror, but a brightly lit window on a dark neighborhood street.

I explored my new manhood, gyrating this way and that — picture Elizabeth Berkeley meets Danny Bonaduce. I could have gone on all morning doing this had I not been jarred back to reality by the rapping of knuckles on that very same window.

Yep. The gang had arrived early. All five of them: two guys and three girls, and clean-minded Mormons to boot.

Dave, the knocker, had a “what the heck?” look of puzzlement as he motioned at me to hurry up. My heart raced like a gnat as I jumped off the bed and threw on some clothes then sheepishly got into the car. No one said a word.

I secretly prayed that no one really saw this little exhibition and told myself that it was dark, and everyone knows that if one walks down a pitch black street and someone has their lights on and curtains open one can’t see a thing. You can’t see them watching TV. You can’t see them eating dinner. You can’t see them playing Parcheesi. And even if you could see them, no one really stares into a well-lit window on a dark street. Right? Right?

Please tell me I’m right.

We pulled out of the driveway and headed for the first house. The girls were catatonic, after what they had just witnessed. The guys wondered, “What the flip was this nimrod just doing?”

I just prayed to God that our next stop would feature one of my classmates standing in his window — in nature’s own — absentmindedly doing the hoochie-koochie for his classmates.

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he first time Seth Matthews (not his real name) tried crystal meth, he had sex for eight hours straight and sincerely thought that his heart was going to explode right out of chest.

“I was hanging out with a guy who just offered me some one night, so I tried it,” he says. “We snorted it, and it was incredible.

We started having sex and just kept going and going and going.”

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BY NICHOLAS RUPP

That was just over 18 months ago, and now Matthews “tweaks” every weekend or every other weekend, depending on his work schedule and what his finances allow. The well-spoken and good-looking 20-year-old is a typical crystal meth user: That is, he’s not someone most people would peg as a drug addict.

A powerful stimulant “cooked” in illegal labs from over-the-counter ingredients like battery acid and pseudoephedrine (found in many cold medicines), the powder form of crystal meth can be snorted, smoked, injected intravenously, ingested, or inserted anally — called a “booty bump.”

Once in the body, the toxic chemicals stimulate the brain to release a potent pleasure-controlling neurotransmitter called dopamine, which creates a sense of incredible pleasure and an uncontrollable sex drive — sure impetus for addiction.

suddenly do all the things you used to just Paula Gibbs, a psychiatrist at the Univerfantasize about. Plus, you’re hyper-aware sity of Utah’s Clinic 1A, explains, “It affects and your perception is much more intense the parts of brain that give us pleasure; the so everything feels so much better. It’s like parts that allow us to enjoy life. Meth hijacks being drunk without the fuzziness.” the whole system and gives people those That sensory overload comes with a price, highs without any reason, so eventually however. “Crystal meth is incredibly neuusers become more interested in meth than rotoxic — it actively destroys brain cells,” in living life. The natural highs just don’t do says Gibbs. While the brain may repair itself it for them anymore because they’ve been to some degree after a user stops, she says so over-stimulated from the synthetic highs. there’s always a point beyond repair. “ProThe initial rush is so incredible that people longed use creates scars and holes in the think they can get it every time. They can’t, brain. In a heavy user an MRI will actually so they end up chasing it forever.” show where the brain has been eaten away.

For some meth users, that chase includes And there are neurocognitive changes, too. a regular increase in the amount of the drug People’s personalities change; IQ drops sevthey take, all in the hope of reaching that eral points. It’s not always temporary.” first high again. B.J. VanRoosendaal, public Crystal meth can also cause temporary information officer for the Utah State Diviimpotence, known as “crystal dick,” particusion of Substance Abuse, says that people larly in long-term users. To combat crystal who think they are “recreational” meth usdick, some men combine meth use with ers need to be objective about their use. “It Viagra, the prescription impotence drug. takes more and more to get high,” she says.

The combination can be extremely danger“You just can’t be a casual meth user.” ous because both drugs together increase Seth Matthews says that his first time was the heart rate and indeed the best. “It’s lower blood pressure hard to explain. There’s — sometimes fatally. a burning in your nose, It’s no surprise that then a quick, sharp pain times as likely to engage in crystal-fueled sex rarely at the back of your head, unprotected receptive anal sex. includes condoms or then everything relaxes, other safe-sex pracand it’s euphoric,” he times more likely to be tices. David Ferguson, says. “I know that word HIV-positive program director of the is clichéd, but it’s true.

Utah AIDS FoundaI know it won’t be that times more likely to have tion, says that while no good ever again, but it’s syphilis scientific studies have still good enough it’s times more likely to have been done [in Utah], worth it.” there’s “anecdotal Dr. Gibbs says meth is syphilis if routinely used evidence that more and a particularly dangerous together with Viagra more people testing drug because it gives times more likely to have reactive to HIV were enormous amounts of chlamydia using crystal at the time energy and inhibits the of their exposure.” ability to make good times more likely to have Dr. Gibbs agrees. judgments. “It attacks gonorrhea.

“I can think of sevthe frontal lobe of the DATA: CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL & PREVENTION eral patients of mine brain, where judgments who know they were come from. It literally infected while using crystal meth,” she says. robs people of their judgment.”

“It’s a serious threat.”

Matthews agrees, saying, “Your higher Reports issued by the Centers for Disease thought processes are gone. Your judgment Control say that across the nation crystal skills go right out the window. When I’m meth users are two to four times more likely tweaked, I’m a little more accident-prone to be infected with HIV than other gay and I overestimate my abilities. Things that men. Other STDs are an increased problem normally seem really stupid, you’re sudamong meth users as well; syphilis rates are denly like, ‘Okay!’” nearly 5 times higher than in non-users.

In recent years local media has regularly Matthews knows he engages in risky reported on Utah’s growing meth problem, behaviors when he’s using. His weekends always focusing on young mothers uson crystal usually include weekend-long ing meth to increase their energy and lose weight. Few, if any, have spent much time parties, which are essentially orgies, almost on the distinctly sexual component of meth always without condoms. “If you’re having addiction — a component that appeals sex on crystal,” he says, “99 percent of the strongly to gay men. While no scientific time it’s unsafe. You’re not bothered by realistudies have been done locally, VanRoosties like that when you’re tweaking.” endaal believes that gay men are becoming He says the parties take place in private an increasingly common demographic homes and there’s one happening locally among users in Utah. She says, “We’ve cerevery weekend. “I hang with a couple diftainly seen national research that the trend ferent circles, and if one isn’t having a party, is true.” the other is. There are a lot of guys doing it Dr. Gibbs stresses that meth appeals to — a lot — and no one talks about it. It’s very people regardless of sexual orientation. “It’s secretive. If you don’t know somebody who’s a huge epidemic across the board. The hyusing crystal regularly, you know someone per-sexuality, invincibility, energy, and lack who knows somebody. It’s never more than of judgment cause people — gay or straight two degrees away from you, I guarantee it.”

— to act out sexually while using. It’s such Matthews also says that most tweakers a problem because it’s cheap, easily made, party on the weekends then go to work and and the high lasts a long time.” school without anyone ever suspecting.

Seth Matthews says that for him, crystal is Ferguson agrees, saying, “There’s a whole always a pre-cursor to sex. “That’s the whole spectrum of use. Crystal is usually a very reason I do it,” he says. “It’s totally sex-drivfunctional drug. Some people get high every en. It takes away your inhibitions. You can day to help get them out of bed. Others

Meth Users Are:

2 2.2 4.1 6.1 1.9 1.7

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FEATURE binge on Friday and Saturday, come down and sleep on Sunday, then go about their lives. In either case, no one knows there’s a problem.”

Usually the weekend crystal parties include between four and eight guys, says Matthews, but he has been to one with more than 12 active participants. “They’re bigger in the fall,” he says. “I don’t know if it’s school, the holidays, or whatever, but for a while last fall there were new guys every time.”

Matthews says that people primarily find crystal parties online. “Gay.com profiles will just mention “PnP” and you know they’re into it.” PnP stands for “party and play,” where crystal is the party and sex is the play.

Other profiles mention “chem-friendly” or “looking to party.”

Besides the sexual component, Ferguson and Gibbs both say gay men are using crystal to combat other issues. Dr. Gibbs says, “Disenfranchised populations are always at increased risk for addiction of any sort.”

Ferguson says that the overt sexual component to crystal makes gay men even more susceptible to addiction. “HIV-negative men use it to socialize, to belong,” he says. “Positive men use it to escape, to find a mental space where there’s no HIV. Both are using it to feel more desirable, more sexual, and to make other people more desirable.”

Matthews recognizes that crystal makes everybody look more appealing. “You don’t have boundaries with crystal. I don’t usually come down and then feel guilty about something I did, about a sex act. It’s usually more about someone I did. Your standards are definitely lowered when you’re tweaked.”

He admits crystal use can go overboard; he once stayed high for four days straight — in-

cluding a day at work — all without sleep.

“That’s when the shadow people show up.”

Shadow people, Matthews explains, are exhaustion-induced hallucinations. “You see things that aren’t there. I heard people calling my name. I rationally knew none of that really existed, but I didn’t believe myself, because the shadow people were right there in front of me.”

Coming down off crystal meth isn’t pretty, either. “It can be hard,” says Matthews. “Actually … really, really hard. You’re depressed, moody and tired.” Paranoia, insomnia, shaking, nausea, sweating, hyperventilation and hallucinations can also occur when a tweaking period ends, sometimes lasting for weeks afterward.

While partying, Matthews tries to minimize his risk of STD exposure by playing only within the same group of guys, though he admits his partners probably don’t do the same. “I’m more careful than most. If it’s somebody new, I always ask if they have anything,” he says. “Maybe that’s naive to think they’ll just be honest, but I do what I can to reduce my risk. I get tested for HIV every three months — there’s no excuse not to be tested.”

Matthews says he stops using when he thinks he’s becoming dependent. “If I feel like I have to have it to get off, or that I need to use to maintain my personality, then I stop for a few months and get it out of my system, rebuild a little,” he says.

“You never want to have to maintain [a high] to be normal.”

He also has plans to quit eventually — before, he says, it ever gets to be a problem. “I won’t do this forever. College is the time to try new things, experiment a little. All things M in moderation, right?”

Crystal Meth Widows

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by Calvin Fleming Sitting on a curb, I asked myself over and again, “What the hell am I doing here, stalking him?” Maybe it was because I was the only one left that cared and I knew he needed help. Every time I ended up at this place, I would try and convince myself this time would be different and I could somehow convince him to end his affair with Tina (you may know her as crystal meth).

I’d become all too familiar with the routine: The party ’n’ play (PnP) usually began on a Friday night. He’d spend hours, if not days, on the prowl online seeking out new and riskier sexual adventures with countless partners under Tina’s hypnotic trance.

By Monday morning, Tina would release her grip. He’d finally return home, skip work, and begin his list of excuses before falling into a deep depression. I’d sometimes call to remind him to take his meds and to hydrate, hoping his viral load didn’t explode even when I wanted to kill him for using yet again.

And then, I waited. I pretended to trust him. I hoped and prayed it was the last time, like he promised. And when I decided to give him another chance, I’d hold my breath, knowing we would likely end up in the same place four to six weeks later and have to start all over again.

If this sounds familiar, you’re like me — what my friends call a “Crystal Meth Widow.” We’re an ever-growing legion of men tired and worn out from trying to help our friends, boyfriends or partners defeat their addiction and/or new HIV infection.

And no one is really talking about it.

It’s a dirty little secret for gay men. We acknowledge there is a problem, but then our community hesitates to respond. Our hesitation may stem from not wanting to judge anyone — for using drugs, being HIV positive and/or for (God forbid) being sexually active.

It seems as if we’re now in an era where we’re afraid to speak the truth. It’s understandable, considering the consequences are losing our dwindling HIV prevention funding or being placed on a federal grant investigation “hit list.”

And, let’s be honest, other gay organizations remain silent because it means talking about our sex lives outside of monogamous matrimony — which isn’t an easy sell to non-profit major donors.

Our community needs to wake up to this new HIV crisis. While the White House plans to spend billions on abstinence-only propaganda, they will also not hesitate to cut our prevention and research budgets.

And they show no concern in slashing funds that will place those who can’t afford

Getting Crystal Clear

the extent of their use. There is no risk of criminal charges and treatment is on a sliding fee scale, though there may be a waiting list.

Formal name: Methamphetamine

Treatment and Recovery: There are several treatment options in the Salt Lake Valley, such as Odyssey House and Salt Lake County Substance Abuse Services. No treatment center will accept someone who currently shows any illegal substances in their system, so the Utah division of Volunteers of America offers two detoxification centers in the Salt Lake area. VOA provides a safe and supportive environment for people to withdraw from drugs or alcohol and can also assess the severity of addiction and refer to the appropriate treatment program in the community.

Call VOA Detox at (801)363-9400 for more information.

There are also local chapters of the 12-step program Crystal Meth Anonymous:

Most common street names: Meth, Crystal, Speed, or Tina. Also sometimes called T, Chrissy, Crank, Dope, Glass, Go, Ice, Shards, Speed, Such, Tweak, and the White Lady.

Typical cost: In Utah, crystal meth sells at about $10 for 1/10 of a gram — enough for a substantial high for most users.

How it’s taken: Swallowed, snorted, smoked, injected, or taken anally.

What it looks like: Usually, meth is a clear-to-white crystalline substance that is crushed into powder or melted before it is used. Color can vary depending on the purity of the drug — in its cheapest and most toxic form (“crank”) it’s usually brown with black flecks. Crystal meth tastes bitter but is odorless in its powdered form.

How to know if crystal is a problem in your life: Dr. Paula Gibbs, psychiatrist at the University of Utah’s Clinic 1A, says that addiction is characterized by three Cs: 1. Craving the drug when not using.

2. There is a loss of Control when using.

3. There are Consequences of using, both good and bad, appearing in other areas of life.

B.J. VanRoosendaal, Public Information Officer of the Utah State Division of Substance Abuse, says that users who think they may have a problem should call Salt Lake County Substance Abuse Services at (801) 468-2009 and schedule an assessment to help them determine

Honesty, Integrity & Reliability in your Mortgage Lender, Think DIVERSITY 1ST!

www.diversity1st.com

Saturdays at 8:00pm Layton Women’s Recovery Center 2250 North 1700 West, Building E Layton Sundays at 6:00pm 9087 West 2700 South, Downstairs Magna For more information: tweaker.org, crystalneon.org, or crystal-meth.org.

SALT LAKE METRO ■

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Calvin Fleming is the northwestern regional media manager for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

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partner was comparable to committing an act of violence against that person.

The Manifesto set off an unbelievable frenzy of media coverage and conversation in Seattle. Some applauded its boldness, while others said the Manifesto went too far and was placing too much blame on HIV-positive men.

Others said it was more empty rhetoric, while still others wanted specific actions taken. But more important than any single reaction is that people were actually talking about the issues, whether they agreed or disagreed with the Manifesto’s messages.

Similarly, “The Beast in the Bathhouse” is igniting discussion in New York, such as a town hall forum moderated by Harvey Fierstein. Hopefully, they serve as reminders that marriage is just one of many issues that we urgently need to address. And it’s time to drag Tina out of the closet and expose her for what she is really doing to our community.

As “Crystal Meth Widows,” there’s not one answer that could give us back who we lost. I take some comfort in knowing that Martin may recover with help from his Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings and other support groups that take our place.

But after a year as a widow, I am determined to not let anyone else I know fall prey to Tina again.

AUGUST 5, 2004

HIV medications on waiting lists.

Imagine that you just tested positive, but you must wait six to nine months before you may or may not become eligible to receive assistance to pay for your life-saving drugs. This is now a reality in 10 states, with another six states across our country ready to implement a “death list” to help balance a budget. And this still is not scaring us away from our PnP escapades!

Are we going to watch each other die on a waiting list or are we going to step up to the plate and take charge of our own destinies?

Instead of bowing down in silence, a first practical step is to start talking about sex and drugs more openly and honestly to each other and in our media.

Studies show, and my common sense says, that there is a direct link between crystal meth addiction and the rising HIV infections. If you’re high, you’ll make poor choices. So, questions we must ponder: Why do we implicitly condone its use? Why aren’t there more resources available to deal with the reality of addiction? Why are we using it to begin with? And why aren’t our HIV prevention messages working?

I’ve seen one answer to these questions in the form of “A Community Manifesto: A New Response to HIV and STDs,” published by a coalition of HIV/AIDS organizations in Seattle. The Manifesto states that men who have sex with men must take personal responsibility, and that engaging in unsafe sex with a non-monogamous

Thursdays at 7:00pm Fellowship Hall 2060 S. Windsor Ave. (840 E.) Salt Lake City (801) 485-4451 Sign-Language Interpreted

If you're looking for

Monday, August 9

THE GAY AGENDA Thursday, August 5 DEAFENING PIANO. Gallivan Center’s 2004 Twilight Concert Series brings together The Bad Plus and Mike Stern to serenade the stars and moon in downtown Salt Lake. Arguably one of the biggest breakout stories of last year, The Bad Plus connected with the jazz world and beyond with These Are The Vistas, the renegade trio’s debut on Columbia Records. Stern is a three-time Grammie nominee and former Blood Sweat and Tears guitarist.

7pm, Gallivan Center, 200 South between State and Main Streets. Free. gallivanevents.com

RIGHTEOUS BABE Songwriter, vocalist and guitarist Ani DiFranco comes to the beautiful Red Butte Gardens. From the raw “folk punk” of her early albums through the jazz/funk grooves she created during her years touring with a five-piece band to the twists and turns of her current work as a solo artist, Ani’s restless creativity continually leads her and her listeners into ever more exciting territory.

7pm, Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way. Tickets $30–32. 585-0556, RedButteGarden.org

AFTERGLOW Bring your Ani DiFranco ticket stub to MoDiggity’s after the concert and win a chance for an autographed poster and autographed photo.

9:30pm, MoDiggity’s, a private club for members, 3424 South State. modiggitys.com ANI DIFRANCO SEE AUG 5

THE BAD PLUS AUG 5

Dusk, Gallivan Center, 50 E. 200 South. Free.

GallivanEvents.org.

Tuesday, August 10 Friday, August 6 GREEN CELLO SALAD. Guest Cellist Zuill Bailey joins the Utah Symphony in performing the works of John Williams, Korngold, Copland, and Bernstein. Bailey is an engaging, multi-faceted American artist, a powerful performer who dazzles audiences with his technical and artistic command of the cello.

His performances include orchestral concerts, recitals and chamber music, both in the United States and abroad. He performs on a 1693 Matteo Goffriller.

7:30pm, Deer Valley Amphitheater. Tickets $10–42 at 355-ARTS or utahsymphony.org

Saturday, August 7 ART IN A MINING TOWN. A favorite of the locals, the Park City Arts Festival turns 35 this year. The festival will showcase over 200 fine artists from across North America, performing artists, musical talent and street entertainment, as well as fine foods from vendors, restaurants and exceptional chefs from throughout the West.

All day Saturday and Sunday, Main Street, Park City. Tickets $5–8. 435-649-8882. kimball-art.org

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AUGUST 5, 2004

DON’T DRINK THE KOOL-AID. The Krishna Temple has opened in Spanish Fork and is welcoming people to “Good Karma Fest,” a concert of 2.5 White Guys, After Hours, Butcher’s Nightmare and Marlena Lambert.

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A NIGHT OF CULTURE UNDER THE STARS. The Sundance Outdoor Film Festival brings One Night The Moon by Aboriginal filmmaker Rachel Perkins to the Gallivan Center. An award-winning musical set in 1932, this is an eloquently sung true story of a curious little girl lured into the rugged Australian Outback by a hypnotizing moon. When the police suggest that an Aboriginal tracker lead the search effort, the girl’s father insists that no Aboriginal is to set foot on his land. Instead, he gathers together as many white men as he can find to search the desolate plains for his child. Their search produces no results, and the girl’s mother finally enlists the Aboriginal tracker to find her daughter. Preceded by Ofa He Lei ~ The Love of the Lei, a personal film about self expression and cultural diversity which explores public policy regarding Pacific Islander’s cultural tradition of the lei.

6–10pm, Krishna Temple, 8628 South Main Street, Spanish Fork. Tickets $3. 798-3559, utahkrishnas.com

Sunday, August 8 A TASTY FUNDRAISER. Help end hunger – your own and that of the world – at Taste of the Nation. This event brings together over 30 chefs for an afternoon of spectacular food and drink by the creek at Solitude to benefit Utahns Against Hunger and the Utah Food Bank as well as other local anti-poverty and anti-hunger charities.

Noon–4pm. Solitude Mountain Resort, Big Cottonwood Canyon. Tickets $60–65, 328-2561, www.tasteofnation-utah.org

COME SEE THE BOYS. The Grammy Awardwinning Blind Boys of Alabama continue to command gospel music into a foot stomping celebration. Come enjoy their innovative, hallowed style.

7pm, Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way. Tickets $25. 585-0556, RedButteGarden.org

Wednesday, August 11 GREEN BEANS, GRAINS AND GARDEN GNOMES. The Wednesday Farmers Market at the Gateway gives you a chance midweek to grab those tomatoes and ears of corn for your summer barbecue, along with a hand-painted apron and hand-thrown pottery to dish it up with.

4pm, The Gateway, 50 S. 400 West. Free. downtownslc. org

Friday, August 13 ARE THEY COMPETING NUDE THIS YEAR? The Utah Olympic Park is staying open late on Friday, Aug. 13 to watch the Opening Ceremony of the 2004 Olympic Games on the big screen at the foot of the K120 ski jump hill.

The public is invited to bring blankets and lawn chairs to enjoy the NBC coverage of the festivities from Athens, Greece.

6pm Utah Olympic Park. Tickets $4–8.

866-OLY-PARKS or utaholympicpark.com

Saturday, August 14 CIAO BELLO. A taste of old Italy comes to the closest thing Salt Lake has to “Little Italy,” the area around 300 South and 300 West – home to Tony Caputo’s and the Italian Center. Ferragosto is a street festival celebrating Italian art, music and entertainment. Games such as “bocce ball” and food that’s an art all its own.

1–10pm. 300 South between 300 and 400 West.

Free. ItalianCenterUtah.com

Monday, August 16

SEA TO SHINING SEA. Though greatly homogenized, Utah is a land of people who come from all over the world. The Utah Folk Arts Program brings Cliff Eagle, a Native American drum group that presents popular intertribal pow-wow songs; Lanfrique, a family ensemble that performs the music and dance of their native African nation of Equatorial Guinea; and Celeste y Blanco, performing traditional Argentine dances from the rural pampas and from the stylish Argentine capitol, Buenos Aires.

Bring your lawn chairs to Liberty Park’s Chase Home for this free performance.

7pm. Chase Home at Liberty Park. arts.utah.gov/folkarts

Tuesday, August 17 A ZENN LUNCH. Eddy Zenn performs with the Gallivan Lunch Bunch downtown at noon.

Zenn is a homegrown artist who engagingly blends styles from punk to blues and bends them into his own unique acoustic folk rock sound. You may recognize his sound from the KUED special on gays in Utah families, Friends and Neighbors.

Noon–1pm. Gallivan Center, 50 E. 200 South.

Free, GallivanEvents.com A TASTE OF ITALY SEE AUGUST 14

Red,White & Bubbly Vintage Partisan

SALT LAKE ACTING COMPANY

by Beau Jarvis

Salt Lake Acting Company’s “Wait!”

Jensen and SLAC’s “Wait!” part of National Showcase of New Plays in Chicago

by Scott C. Morgan

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Julie Jensen’s latest play, “Dust Eaters,” will have its world premiere at Salt Lake Acting Company in Spring of 2005. SLAC currently features “Saturday’s Voyeur” until Aug. 22. Call 355-ARTS or 363-7522 for ticket information.

Beau Jarvis is a sommelier and wine educator.

He operates basicjuice.com, an independent wine review and information website. He also manages basicjuice.blogs.com, a weblog of entertainment and culture.

AUGUST 5, 2004

Julie Jensen laughed up a storm on opening night of the 2004 National Showcase of New Plays in Chicago. Sitting in the first row of the Chicago Cultural Center’s Studio Theater, Jensen was overjoyed with the July 16 reading of Wait!, her play which had its world premiere at Salt Lake Acting Company in 2003.

“It played very well,” said Jensen, SLAC’s first resident playwright who wrote Wait! as the theater’s first new play commission.

“A reading SCOTT MORGAN can be very Julie Jensen dangerous if it doesn’t show a play to its best advantage.”

But Jensen was pleased by the Chicago cast in this reading under the direction of Andrea Urice, who also directed the acclaimed Chicago production of Jensen’s The Lost Vegas Series in 1997. Wait! also had a second festival reading on July 21 at Chicago Dramatists, the launching ground for internationally-acclaimed playwright Rebecca Gillman (Spinning Into Butter, The Glory of Living).

Wait! follows the growing awareness of a UPS driver to her budding sexuality and features larger-than-life characters with odd names like “Oh Vixen, My Vixen” and “Floating Piñata Head.”

“It’s a coming of age play concerning a gay woman living in an imaginary rural Utah town,” Jensen said, deliberately choosing to have the audience see the play’s quirky events through the eyes of the unfortunately named Wendy Burger.

“Whether or not the audience was gay or not, I wanted them to have that experience

of how the world looks to her and how weird and strange it is.”

Wait! was selected from dozens of plays submitted to the up-and-coming National New Play Network, which has mounted a new play reading series or festival every two years since 2000. This year marked the first time Salt Lake Acting Company had a major presence at the festival, which featured 18 plays drawn from 17 professional affiliate theaters across the nation. Joining Jensen at the festival was Salt Lake Acting Company dramaturge Mike Dorrell and producing director Keven Myhre.

According to Dorrell and Myhre, the NNPN is an affiliation of like-minded small theaters dedicated to producing new works by regional playwrights. The purpose of the NNPN’s National Showcase of New Plays is to bring together these theaters to share ideas and expose each other to the good work that is being done around the country. There’s also the hope that other theater companies will produce regional works that might not get the national exposure of a New York production.

Jensen said she won’t know if Wait! will be picked up by other theaters until early next year when theater companies start planning out upcoming seasons. But even with its inclusion in the NNPN’s National Showcase of New Plays, Wait! has already shown it has legs to run elsewhere.

Jensen mentioned that several colleges have scheduled upcoming productions of Wait!, while the play has already received subsequent productions by the Perseverance Theatre in Douglas, Alaska, TITLEWave Theatre in Cleveland and Theater Catalyst in Philadelphia following its 2003 SLAC premiere.

“It’s still under consideration everywhere,” Jensen said. “Mike Dorrell said to me that Wait! will be the thing that will make my retirement comfortable.”

Lately I’ve realized that I am spending more and more time visiting political weblogs and reading politically themed books.

I even stream Air America radio on my computer while I’m at work.

For me, the gauntlet was tossed down when our president chided my fellow wine drinkers. He referred to drinking wine as “swilling” wine. Mr. President, one does not swill wine. And those who drink YooHoo through a bendy straw (for safety!) have no room to critique the drinking habits of others.

My newfound political awareness led me to spend much of July’s final week on my couch, in front of the TV, watching the Democratic National Convention.

For some reason, I became quite thirsty watching the politicos yap and delegates awkwardly dance to “the greatest hits of the ’90s and today.” This was an event that necessitated a few glasses of wine.

Perhaps I swilled — er, drank one glass too many. In any event, I began to compare the convention speakers to specific kinds of wine. (Yes, I need to get out more.)

Actually, I think many wines have a unique personality. And, of course, it’s a given that politicians also have unique personalities. So read on for a selection of my politico-wine similes. This seems strange, I know — just humor me. These conventions occur only once every four years, you know.

Hillary Rodham Clinton — She is always straightforward and to-the-point, with perhaps a little edginess in her delivery. I’m reminded of a red Côtes du Rhône Villages wine. I always know what to expect from these wines: simple flavors and, in general, the quality of being agreeable with food.

However, as with Hillary, I’m often surprised by the edginess and spice that lurk close to the surface.

Bill “Big Dog” Clinton — You either love him or hate him. This phenomenon is similar to wine drinkers’ reactions to Sauvignon Blanc. Some folks love the green, herbal quality of this wine, while others liken these qualities to cat pee.

Of course I’m in the former category — I like Bill and I like S. Blanc. I enjoy Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand or one of the original Sauvi’ Blanc-based wines from France like Sancerre or Pouilly-Fumé. And I do enjoy hearing the “Big Dog” hold court.

Barak Obama — The soon-to-be Senator from Illinois is a rising political star. Come November, he will be the only AfricanAmerican in the Senate. And some say he is poised to make a run for the presidency in eight years’ time. Barak is like a fine vintage Champagne maturing in the cave and eagerly awaited by bubbly lovers everywhere.

Of course, after several years, when vintage Champagne is released it is hailed

as a wonderful thing. I expect a similar response to Mr. Obama when he pops onto the presidential stage in the next six to eight years.

Teresa Heinz Kerry — Pinot Noir is a complicated wine. Especially a serious Oregon Pinot or a top-tier red Burgundy such as Clos Vougeot. Teresa’s melodic voice coupled with the pithiness of her speech brought this oft misunderstood wine to mind. Her delivery didn’t seem strained like many of the other speakers. Not only was her delivery grand, but she spoke about serious issues like human rights, the environment and equality.

Pinot Noir is often described as a white wine in red wine’s clothing. It seems light and delicate, yet introduces the drinker to an amazing array of scents and flavors. Ms. Kerry delivered heady words of wisdom wrapped in a lovely, classy package.

Rev. Al Sharpton — Sharpton was allotted six minutes, yet he spoke for nearly a half hour. He gave the convention handlers one version of his speech and went on to deliver a completely different version to the audience. Al was on fire. He was magnetic.

He revved up the entire convention center.

I didn’t want his speech to end. I stood in front of the TV pumping my fist. My dog quickly ran and hid in the kitchen.

The reverend is like a single glass of rich Cabernet Sauvignon. Rather than drink it, I prefer to sniff it, swirl it, look at it and admire it. As with the reverend’s speech, I simply want to savor a wine like this. Once I look down and notice the glass is empty, I am somehow profoundly disappointed — as I was when Sharpton stopped speaking and exited stage left.

As of this writing, the Republican National Convention is still two months away.

However, the Elephants have released a tentative schedule of prime-time speakers.

My anticipated wine similes for them are as follows: “Governator” Schwarzenegger — Arnie reminds me of a White Zinfandel: pretty packaging with little or no substance.

“Hizzoner” Rudy Giulliani — The former NYC mayor is like “house white” wine: fairly popular, but the more you drink the less tasty it becomes.

Dick “F-bomb” Cheney — The Veep doesn’t bring any particular wine to mind.

He’s more like a barfly after three shots of tequila: surly behavior and a constant stream of profanity.

“President” Dubya — Since our president seems to think that wine is to be swilled rather than sipped, a Bartyles & James wine cooler comes to mind.

Now that’s a beverage that can be swilled, chugged or pounded. Bring it on!

I never said this was a nonpartisan wine column. Cheers.

Now Playing A CINDERELLA STORY Sam (Hilary Duff) is this fairy tale’s Cinderella, a San Fernando Valley girl being raised by a cruel stepmother (Jennifer Coolidge) and denied the usual middle-class teen amenities like hot clothes and the chance to attend the homecoming dance where her secret admirer/Prince Charming (Chad Michael Murray) awaits. That her outfits, funky attic room, and vintage babyblue Mustang convertible are still nicer than what most kids her age have is lost on the filmmakers, whose Hollywood version of deprivation is warped beyond recognition.

In fact, also lost on the creators of this dull retelling of the classic story is any sense of humor, wit, or romance. Even one of those qualities could have saved it from becoming another barrel-bottom-scraping exercise in teen marketing, but none are in evidence, and it’ll be the wise 15 year-old girl who demands her ticket money back.

Grade: D / Kinsey Scale: 1 (There are gay-ish moments, like the nameless and effeminate synchronized swim coach who appears in a scene with the bumbling stepsisters. Worse, there’s a somewhat bothersome moment when Murray questions the gender of his as-yet-unseen beloved via cell-phone instant message, promising to “kick [his] butt” if Duff turns out to be male — Prince Charming, indeed. Gay favorite Coolidge played a lesbian in Best in Show.)

ANCHORMAN Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) is a pompous, clueless, and beloved news anchor in mid’70s San Diego. And when his perfectly coiffed, scotch-soaked, playboy lifestyle is upended by an ambitious female journalist (Christina Applegate) who wants to be his co-anchor, he goes into a career tailspin.

That the movie is a somewhat toothless satire on polyester sexism — one that, strangely, follows sexist Hollywood logic by allowing four men but only one woman in its principal cast — is mostly beside the point. The point is Ferrell. With his constantly knowing take on the witless Burgundy, he manages to turn an uneven script into a film with a consistently high laughs-per-minute count. They’re empty, silly laughs, and Ferrell is in danger of becoming typecast as a dolt; but his brand of air-headed charm is what keeps this lightweight summer comedy afloat.

Grade: B / Kinsey Scale: 2 (Aside from a few throwaway gags about straight male homophobia, there’s a relatively undeveloped plotline in which Ferrell’s sportscaster co-worker, played by David Koechner, is slowly revealed to have a

crush on him. Co-star Paul Rudd played a gay man in The Object of My Affection, and Fred Willard had a recurring role as a gay man on Roseanne.)

THE BOURNE SUPREMACY Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) thought he’d left his old life as a skilled assassin behind.

But then he’s found by Russian criminals, framed with a crime he didn’t commit, and forced back into action. Add to his headache a CIA chief (Joan Allen) one step behind him and nightmares of memories he can’t quite piece together from a life he no longer remembers. There’s plenty of globetrotting location scenery to enjoy and the even more enjoyable sight of a grim, anxious Damon forgetting that he’s a movie star for a moment and really investing himself in Bourne, a hunted man who becomes the hunter himself. This still-chilly bit of post-Cold War espionage is made fresh with violent, seizure-inducing camera work and a death-defying car chase that will leave audiences breathless.

It’s that rare summer thing: a sequel that matches its original, and an action-thriller that doesn’t leave viewers feeling empty.

Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 1 (There’s no gay content, but some cast members have been in gay-themed films and/or films by gay directors. Damon starred in Gus Van Sant’s Good Will Hunting and as the sexually ambiguous title character in The Talented Mr. Ripley. Co-star Brian Cox played a gay pedophile in the indie film L.I.E., while costar Gabriel Mann had small roles in I Shot Andy Warhol and Stonewall.)

CATWOMAN Cosmetics magnate Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone) orders employee Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) sent to a watery grave after Patience uncovers damaging information about Hedare’s latest product. A friendly feline resurrects the drowned woman with the power of its kitty breath, transforming the formerly mousy artist into a whip-wielding, morally ambiguous superhero with nonhuman agility and a newfound interest in dominatrix wear. The emphasis is on special effects and editing over plot, character, motivation, or suspense in this brain-dead actioner. The camera never stops moving, as if to distract from a story that is so pointless that the actors might as well be a tabby’s rubber mice. Whenever actual cats are on the screen, the movie turns lively and funny, but those moments are sadly few.

Grade: C / Kinsey Scale: 1 (The movie never bothers to explore the obvious homoerotic possibilities of the leather-clad Berry battling sleek Stone. Stone’s break-

Kinsey Scale: 0 – not gay at all 6 – gay as a bunny

through role was as a bisexual serial killer in Basic Instinct, while co-star Benjamin Bratt received kudos for playing the bisexual Pinero. Co-star Frances Conroy is a regular on Six Feet Under and also appeared in Die, Mommie, Die!)

DE-LOVELY Legendary songwriter Cole Porter (Kevin Kline) bedded men, but always returned to the arms of his wife and muse, Linda (Ashley Judd). This biopic unfolds as if it were a Porter musical, offering his career highlights while it limns the offbeat romance between this devoted but turbulent couple. The Porters come across as little more than actors in their own play, and this glossy confection of a movie never actually gets at what motivated Linda to stay in such a heartbreaking, inequitable relationship. Director Irwin Winkler’s decision to hire the pop stars of today to sing Porter’s songs is also unfortunate. Their mostly mediocre cameo performances are a distraction, making the drama appear to be little more than a feature-length ad for a soundtrack.

Grade: B- / Kinsey Scale: 4 (The drama doesn’t shy away from Porter’s affairs with men, but the emphasis is on his relationship with Linda. Kline previously played gay in In & Out, while Judd lit up the screen with Salma Hayek in Frida.

Co-stars Jonathan Pryce and James Wilby played queer characters in, respectively, Carrington and Maurice.)

DODGEBALL Unless nice-guy Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn) can come up with $50,000 fast, his Average Joe’s Gym faces a takeover by slimy Globo Gym CEO White Goodman (Ben Stiller). The amount seems beyond the under-financed LeFleur’s reach, until gym rat Gordon (Stephen Root) suggests they enter a national dodgeball tournament that will pit LaFleur’s uncoordinated weaklings against Goodman’s steroid-pumped elite. This silly slapstick comedy might be the happiest surprise of the summer, as a cast of first-rate clowns clearly revel in the chance to deliver hilarious lines and demonstrate their superior physical-comedy skills. While there’s a bit too much of Stiller’s by-now-tedious angry-man act, Vaughn and the rest of the Average Joe’s crew comprise a team of lovable losers truly worth rooting for.

Grade: B+ / Kinsey Scale: 2 (One character is bisexual and — as might be expected in a movie that takes place in the homoerotic world of sports, even if it is dodgeball — there are queer jokes

aplenty. Stiller played a metrosexual in Zoolander and one-half of the vaguely homoerotic team of Starsky and Hutch.

Vaughn was cross-dressing Norman Bates in the Psycho remake. Co-stars Hank Azaria and Jason Bateman have played gay characters.)

FAHRENHEIT 9/11 Filmmaking provocateur Michael Moore takes aim at the Bush administration with this passionate documentary that begins with the contested 2000 presidential election, jumps to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and then examines the aftermath of those events — from curtailment of civil liberties under the Patriot Act, to our current occupation of Iraq. Moore gathers excerpts from the administration’s own sound bites, man-on-the-street interviews, network news clips, and devastating footage from the Iraqi war zone to build his case for American regime change. He paints a devastating portrait of a rogue government — in the pocket of corporate interests — that has taken full advantage of the post-9/11 climate of fear. Moore gives us the very definition of the “ugly American” with this discomforting and unforgettable film.

Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 0 (There is no sexual content of any kind, but the subject matter is vital to every American regardless of orientation.)

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN In his third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) learns that Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), an inmate of Azkaban prison for his role in the death of Harry’s parents, has escaped and may be coming for Harry next. That’s the simple version: the more complicated tale involves shapeshifting animals, mistaken identities, time travel, and a very large teenager-hungry tree. Meanwhile, the kids in the cast are maturing, growing into their roles without a trace of awkwardness. The most important development, though, is the film’s running time. Even though the books get longer as the series goes on, this film installment is a little shorter than the first two, thanks to a looser, less slavish devotion to its source; as a result, it plays much more briskly. That may upset literal-minded devotees of the novels, but will delight those who want their movies to actually move.

Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 1 (The large cast has lots of experience in queer-themed projects. Oldman played Joe Orton in Prick up Your Ears; co-star David Thewlis was Paul Verlaine in Total Eclipse; Emma Thompson recently appeared in Angels in America; and Julie Walters costarred in Billy Elliot and the independent films Sister My Sister and Just Like a Woman.)

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I, ROBOT In 2035 Chicago, luddite detective Del Spooner (Will Smith) harbors a paranoid fear of the robots everyone else has come to depend on. When he suspects that one of them murdered scientist Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell), his superiors consider the theory a fantasy until marauding machines threaten the city. With the volatile cop battling robots at every opportunity, this thriller — loosely based on Isaac Asimov stories — emphasizes action over sci-fi. Purists may scoff at that, while everyone else will be shocked by truly wretched special effects that reduce Smith’s muscular antics to cartoon mayhem, destroy any semblance of suspense, and create unintentional laughs by rendering the supposedly fearsome robots so poorly that they are about as formidable as Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Grade: C- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Though there is no pressing reason for Smith to get naked, he shows off his buff body in an early shower scene. Additionally, the actor played gay in Six Degrees of Separation. Cromwell appeared in HBO’s Angels in America.)

KING ARTHUR There is no Camelot in this mystifying de-mythification of Arthurian legend that casts Arthur (Clive Owen) as a Roman warrior and devout Catholic, Guinevere

(Keira Knightley) as a teenage warriorprincess hottie, Merlin (Stephen Dillane) as a hillbilly sorcerer, and Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd) as a pouting pretty boy — all of whom come together to battle the Saxons.

Viewers even remotely familiar with the lore will be outraged at its transformation into slasher soap opera, while everyone else will merely suffer whiplash from the attention-deficit battle scenes that are partially obscured by smoke and appear to have been edited in a blender. Director Antonio Fuqua creates a soporific work so devoid of sense and personality that it is impossible to care about this Arthur or these knights.

Grade: D+ / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Owen appeared in Bent, while Dillane co-starred in The Hours.)

THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE Nightmares of bizarre wartime mind-control experiments plague Gulf War veteran Bennett Marco (Denzel Washington), who becomes increasingly convinced the dreams are real. When fellow vet Raymond Shaw (Liev Schreiber), an amiable congressman under the thumb of his powerful mother (Meryl Streep), becomes a vice-presidential nominee, Marco races to prove his suspicions before the brainwashed candidate can assume his position a heartbeat away from the presidency. Based on a Cold War-era novel (which was also made into a 1962 movie), this paranoid thriller adds to today’s political discourse as it transforms the villains from Communists into Halliburton-like corporate titans. Director Jonathan Demme ignores gaping holes in the plot as he effectively ratchets the level of suspense, but the talented cast is wasted on characters that operate as little more than pieces on a chessboard.

Grade: B- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Washington previously worked with Demme on the AIDS drama Philadelphia, while both Streep and co-star Jeffrey Wright appeared in HBO’s Angels in America.)

THE NOTEBOOK Octogenarian Noah Calhoun (James Garner) spends his days trying to reach out to his dementia-afflicted wife, Allie (Gena Rowlands), by repeatedly telling her the story of their early life together.

That WWII-era romance unfolds as a Romeo-and-Juliet-style tale, as upperclass young Allie’s (Rachel McAdams) uptight mother (Joan Allen) tries to keep her daughter away from blue-collar Noah (Ryan Gosling). Garner’s moving performance is the best thing about this weepie based on Nicholas Sparks’ bestseller, but he’s acting in a vacuum opposite Rowlands, whose confusion never registers as authentic. The flashbacks to the couple’s youth also come across as false. McAdams and Gosling never connect emotionally; the blandly pretty McAdams offers a petulant, one-note performance, and Gosling’s shaggy, anachronistic appearance evokes not the 1940s but the 1960s.

Grade: C- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Twenty years ago Garner played sexual panic for laughs when he portrayed a straight mobster who falls for what he thinks is a drag queen in Victor/Victoria.)

SHREK 2 They could have called this delightful sequel Meet the Parents, if that title hadn’t already been taken, because it sums up the plot nicely. Shrek (the voice of Mike Myers) and his new bride, Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz), with Donkey (Eddie Murphy) in tow, visit the land of Far Far Away to show Fiona’s parents (Julie Andrews, John Cleese) that she’s happily become an ogre in order to marry Shrek. Appalled that his daughter has wed a monster instead of the self-absorbed Prince Charming (Rupert Everett), the king enlists the help of a mean-spirited Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders) in an attempt to steal Fiona back. What follows is witty, sweet, and love-affirming, leaving behind the smutty double entendres and (most of) the low-brow flatulence humor of the original. It’s that rarest of sequels — one that’s vastly superior to its precursor, and one that will leave you happily ever after.

Grade: A / Kinsey Scale: 2 (Although

there’s no explicitly queer content, it could be argued that the story, with its “love whom you choose” message, is a metaphor for same-sex marriage; in addition, one of Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters (voiced by Larry King) is a man in drag.

Myers played gay in 54, Andrews starred in Victor/Victoria, Saunders stars on TV’s Absolutely Fabulous, and Antonio Banderas, who voices Puss-in-Boots, is a veteran of Pedro Almodovar’s films and played gay in Philadelphia. Everett, it goes without saying, is gay full time.)

SPIDER-MAN 2 Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) has mixed feelings about being Spider-Man. He also has a full plate of trouble. His erstwhile girlfriend (Kirsten Dunst) may marry a man she doesn’t love; his best friend (James Franco) wants to kill Spider-Man to avenge his own father’s death; his beloved aunt is bankrupt; and, worst of all, Doctor Octopus (Alfred Molina) wants to destroy New York. Director Sam Raimi balances these stories and keeps breathing life and humor into a sequel-ready franchise that could, in less caring hands, simply become an assembly line of bigbudget blockbusters, all sensation and no emotional weight. This Spider-Man, however, is a complicated superhero, a beleaguered, sometimes weak Everyman who happens to be able to save the lives of people in out-of-control speeding trains with his super-strong sticky web. And he’s just what the summer movie schedule needs.

Grade: A- / Kinsey Scale: 1 (Molina starred as Joe Orton’s lover in Prick Up Your Ears, while Franco played James Dean in the TV biopic of the same name.

Queer as Folk’s Hal Sparks — comicbook nerd Michael Novotny — appears in a cameo role.)

THUNDERBIRDS More than anything, teenage Alan Tracy (Brady Corbet) wants to join his family’s world-renowned rescue team, International Rescue, also known as the Thunderbirds, in honor of their high-tech vehicles. Instead, he’s grounded for playing in a rocket. But when his father Jeff’s (Bill Paxton) old nemesis, The Hood (Ben Kingsley), traps the Thunderbirds on a disabled satellite, only Alan can save the day. The old puppet TV series goes live action in this actionadventure movie that slavishly follows the kid-empowerment model perfected by Spy Kids. What the sometimes dull story lacks in originality, it makes up for with excellent computer-generated effects and a host of cool gadgets in the primary-colored rockets and cars that morph into planes.

And the cast, from the amiable Corbet on down to an appropriately reptilian Kingsley, is delightful.

Grade: B- / Kinsey Scale: 0 (Kingsley appeared in Maurice, while co-star Anthony Edwards produced Die, Mommie, Die!)

THE VILLAGE For the inhabitants of a rural village surrounded by woods, living in fear of the monstrous forest creatures that lurk all around them is a daily fact of life. And when it seems that the creatures are tired of an established “truce,” and a young blind girl (Bryce Dallas Howard) enters those woods to save another villager’s life, fear threatens to shatter their collective idyllic existence. To give away more details of this film’s plot would, similarly, destroy readers’ enjoyment of the carefully constructed mystery. But know that writer/ director M. Night Shyamalan has created yet another odd cinematic world in which nothing is quite what it seems, surprises live around every corner, and things that go bump in the night may be harmless — or, then again, may destroy you.

Grade: B+ / Kinsey Scale: 1 (No queer content. Cast members include William Hurt, who won an Oscar for playing gay in Kiss of the Spider Woman, out lesbian actor Cherry Jones, Michael Pitt from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and lesbian fave Sigourney Weaver, who appeared in Jeffrey.)

LIONS GATE FILMS

Humanizing Heavy Metal Metallica: Some Kind of Monster 4/5 stars Directed by Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky

Opens August 6 at the Broadway Centre, 111 E. 300 South.

The Door in the Floor 2/5 stars Directed by Tod Williams It’s summer in the Hamptons! Off-white beiges, weather beaten facades, crumpled linen and handsome black and white prints of the two handsome dead sons who passed five years ago.

Their father, Ted Cole, a rich and famous children’s author who writes pretentious stories which children do not understand, decorated by sketches that are sure to bore them, buries himself in drink and seducing, then degrading the women of East Hampton.

Their mother Marion sits withdrawn in her Mercedes Benz with the left blinker on. The parents are separated. Their four year-old sister Ruth, born a year after their deaths, lives a life marinated with their photographic presence.

She does not just look at her brothers’ photos as she plays — she has to examine each one before she goes to bed. Her father calms her nightmares by telling her stories of her dead brothers. Although Ruth is the obvious draw of the story, The Door in the Floor is too preoccupied by the sybarite problems of her parents to delve into her character.

The film is based on a John Irving novel titled A Widow for One Year, which tracks Ruth’s life over 35 years. The film, in focusing on only the beginning of it, largely skips over her character in favor of the Freudian frustrations created when Ted takes on a 16 year-old writing assistant, a boy named Eddie who idolizes him and looks like his dead son.

Eddie develops a crush on Marion. She catches him in a compromising position with her underwear and uses him to vent the feelings of loss and sexual frustration that have been building since her sons died and her family dissolved.

Meanwhile Ted, in his plot to get custody of Ruth, is trying to find any dirt he can on Marion.

The Door in the Floor is about sad, hedonistic millionaires hamster-wheeling in familiar manifestations of denial. Although it is frequently well acted and entertaining, it is held down by a story that does not say anything new or particularly interesting. Instead of exploring what happens to a child who grows up in the shadow of her dead siblings, the film explains yet again that even the very rich can suffer emotional pain amidst polished parquet floors and tasteful earth tones. — XC Opens August 13 at the Broadway Centre, 111 E. 300 South.

Gay Candidates in Political Reality TV Show On Sunday, August 1, Showtime put a political spin on reality television. In the new show “American Candidate,” viewers will choose one of 10 candidates that they would like to see as president of the United States. The winner gets $200,000 and a chance to share their platform with the country.

Two gay and lesbian activists were chosen for the show: Chrissy Gephardt, daughter of Rep. Richard Gephardt, D-Mo., and Keith Boykin, who served in the White House during the Clinton administration.

Chrissy Gephardt worked on her father’s presidential bid shoring up support among gay and lesbian voters. She currently works as a spokesperson for National Stonewall Democrats. Gephardt launched her campaign in Washington, D.C. with the support of her family and Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I. Her campaign manager is longtime friend John Trew.

Boykin recently co-founded the National Black Justice Coalition, an organization committed to fighting for marriage equality for gays and lesbians. Boykin selected his partner Nathan Williams as his campaign manager, putting their relationship in the spotlight.

Both Boykin and Gephardt join all but three of the show’s candidates in taking positions in favor of marriage equality.

A list of each candidate’s positions on 16 issues can be read on Showtime’s website.

The candidates participated in a debate at the University of Virginia shortly after the passage of Virginia’s controversial Affirmation of Marriage Act. All of the contestants discussed the bill, which bans not just marriage and civil unions, but also any partnership contracts and other arrangement “purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage.” The debate will likely be a part of a future episode.

“American Candidate” will follow the contestants as they cross the country in a virtual campaign. They will benefit from the advice of political insiders including Howard Dean’s former campaign manager Joe Trippi. In typical reality television style, one contestant will win “immunity” each week and one will be voted off. — MA New episodes of “American Candidate” air Sundays and are rerun at throughout the week on Showtime.

AUGUST 5, 2004

In 2001, Metallica lost its long time bass player Jason Newsted and was in danger of coming apart completely. In an attempt to patch things over, the group hired a $40,000/month therapist (“really fucking lame and weak,” says Newsted when he’s told about it).

The therapist eventually gets out of hand, sticky-noting the recording studio with pep slogans that read “Zone It!” When he decides he wants to follow the band on tour, it becomes clear he must be fired.

There is a growing rift between the two co-founders James Hetfield (vocals) and Lars Ulrich (drums). Ulrich collects modern art while Hetfield hunts hibernating bears.

They have been playing together for 20 years and despite all their bickering love each other dearly — in a strictly straight-guy kind of way. Meanwhile, the guitarist Kirk Hammett throws up his hands and retires to his ranch to ride horses and practice Buddhism.

Some Kind of Monster manages to document all these events with enough empathy for the musicians to prevent it from becoming a real-life This Is Spinal Tap. Even as it shows the mental fallibility of the heavy metal legends, emotional honesty in front of the camera saves the band from its mockumentary fate.

Although they are awkward — especially Hetfield with his West Side Chopper look — they are wholly lacking the pseudo-intellectual pretension that was the centerpiece of Spinal Tap. The only time they look pretentious is when they are on stage, like the time Hetfield tells inmates at San Quentin that he “not trying to sell anything, that’s for damn sure.”

The film took two years to shoot and although Hetfield considered dropping the film because the boom mics pissed him off, by the end Metallica was comfortable enough with the cameras to drop their stage personas and become real human beings. Although fans of crotch-grabbing headbanging masculinity might be disappointed with Monster for killing that Metallica image, it is not really a great loss.

In Monster, the band realizes that it can “make aggressive music without negative energy” — something the rest of us have been aware of for at least a decade. Although they were famous for their stage antics and hard-partying “Alchoholica” ways, Metallica’s music was always better than the average angry-kid heavy metal band. They were the only metal band, to my knowledge, to record a live album with a symphony orchestra, or to have such tribute groups as the all-cello Apocalyptica.

Heavy metal is not inherently angry or masculine, and by the end of Monster Metallica is clearly a collection of great musicians, not just rock-god icons.— XC

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iar with,” says Holbrook. He says it’s spicy But the marketing campaign isn’t just — perhaps with a bit of cinnamon — but about flesh, it’s also about Holbrook’s that it reminds him of an old Catholic telling of the cologne’s history: a story of church. ancient history that’s intertwined with its The photo shoot proved successful 10-year marketing struggles.

— for the photographer at any rate. AbegHolbrook says he got the formula while glen says even though she was nervous at traveling in Cairo, Egypt, with his friend and photographer, Tricia Abegglen. He says first, enduring blistering heat on the hot sand netted about eight usable shots, and an elderly vendor at a bazaar invited the two particularly good ones. pair back to his home, gave him a scroll It wasn’t 100-percent fun for the modwith the fragrance’s secret and ancient els, however. formula inscribed on it, and told Holbrook During the shoot, Kiley seemed to get to share the fragrance with the world.

After translating the formula and choos- frustrated by the heat. At one point he had to lay his nearly-naked body down on the ing from a hundred different variations, scalding sand. A couple times he seemed Holbrook says he originally wanted to a little surprised by the details of the shoot call it “Holy Water,” but that the LDS — details like the lack of attire.

Church-owned ZCMI — its first venue “It was a little uncomfortable,” he — objected. He opted for his own name admitted as the crew was getting back into on the fragrance, launching it in 1994, but says ZCMI ended up dropping the cologne the limo after the shoot. “The sash was more revealing than I expected. But as it when Holbrook advertised ZCMI’s telewent on, I got more comfortable.” phone number along with the cologne in Kikel, more confident with the process, the gay magazines Advocate and Genre. says this shoot went much better than Free from ZCMI, Holbrook says he tried the previous one where he was standing again marketing the cologne as “Holy naked in front of a cold waterfall.

Water,” but now calls that his “biggest mistake.” Catholic groups objected — he was sent hate mail and put on a list of businesses that Christian groups shouldn’t support.

Now, with the 10th anniversary of the cologne to be celebrated this September, Holbrook says the name “Pharaoh” is the best fit for the fragrance and its history.

“I want people to feel like royalty when they wear this,” Holbrook says.

And, he says, royalty wears the cologne. Prince William and Harry of England are on Model Don Kikel being directed by J. R. Holbrook a “short list” of notables that Still, Kiley says he’ll wait to decide if Holbrook says are his clients. Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, movie stars he’d do it again. “I think I will wait until I see the pictures, and see the response,” he Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, and even says.

LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinkley Holbrook now begins the work of selectare also on that list. ing the images for the poster and the ads.

If you’re skeptical about that list — and He says they’ll be placed in all the major who wouldn’t be skeptical with Moore local papers and magazines. listed next to Hinkley — Holbrook says He does this while balancing other projhe’s either given the cologne to these ects like the self-publication of a children’s people personally at the Sundance Film book (Gingerbread Jimmi, due out this Festival, delivered it to their homes or Christmas), a real estate business, and received thank-you notes from them. part-time work at an airline.

As for the scent, Holbrook has a hard “I’m in a race against time — this face time defining it. isn’t getting any fresher,” he says.

“It doesn’t smell like anything I’m famil-

PHOTOS: JOEL SHOEMAKER

Q

John Robert Holbrook and Chris Sugden watch photographer Tricia Abegglen during a photoshoot for Holbrook’s new fragrance.

Local Cologne Maker Arouses the Senses With Erotic Ad Campaign

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by Joel Shoemaker

“Oh, no! I forgot the gel cold packs for the puffy-eyed models!” exclaims John Robert Holbrook, feigning panic.

It’s 7:00 a.m. on a mid-July morning and a long black limo with a “Holbrook” crest on the window is maneuvering out of Salt Lake City and onto I-15.

In the limo are two muscular male models, a photographer, a driver, a reporter, Red Bull, vodka and Holbrook himself, who’s dressed in tight red Adidas shorts, an even tighter red Lycra sport shirt and white flip-flops.

The crew is headed to the Little Sahara sand dunes to shoot an ad campaign for the upcoming 10th anniversary of Holbrook’s cologne, now known as Pharaoh. By day’s end, the models will get their turns posing nearly naked as pharaohs them- Model Dennis Kiley selves, setting in motion another one of Holbrook’s ad campaigns where the erotic posters are quantitatively more popular than the cologne itself.

Holbrook says each year he and his business partner sell out of the 1,000 fourounce units of the cologne they produce, but the posters sell many, many times more than that number. In years past, the ads have been of a muscular man lying face down on a couch wearing just socks, or of a man standing in the desert wearing only a sash with his entire backside exposed. This year the model will pose as a pharaoh, dressed only in a small black sash, with the cologne nearby.

As part of a somewhat unconventional marketing scheme, Holbrook not only

puts the erotic ads in magazines and newspapers, but he also puts thousands of posters on bus stops, construction sites and buildings like graffiti — and not just in Utah, but in other major cities where the fragrance is sold. He says even though the ads can be seen as homoerotic, they are meant to be targeted towards women buying for men.

The ad campaign may mean exposure for the cologne, but also for the models as well.

Holbrook mainly uses unknown, local models. This go-around, two men who are at opposite ends of the modeling experience spectrum will soon be the bodies plastered around town.

On one side, Jon Kikel, 29, is known for the poster of him standing in front of a waterfall with nothing but a sash. “It was positive — it took me out of my comfort zone,” Kikel says of that first experience.

“I had tons of recognition: ‘Oh, you’re the naked boy,’ they’d say.” Kikel says he was able to use the experience to move into other modeling work.

On the other end of the spectrum is Dennis Kiley, 23, who has never modeled before and currently works as a counselor for a wilderness resort program. “I was flattered, yet entirely taken aback,” Kiley says of when Holbrook approached him recently at a gym with the modeling offer. “He was name-dropping a lot. I was initially wary.” Kiley says he agreed to do it for the experience, and is looking forward to seeing what the response is like.

Viacom, MTV Announce Gay Network Lineup After announcing the creation of LOGO, an all-gay cable channel, last year, MTV and Viacom have said that the channel’s lineup will include shows featuring such celebrities as bisexual comedienne Margaret Cho, gay actor Alan Cumming, and Cher and her lesbian daughter Chastity Bono.

“I’m thrilled because the sum total of everything really paints the picture of the LOGO identity,” said Matt Farber, the network’s mastermind who first presented the idea to MTV Networks. “It represents the diversity of the audience, and the many shapes, sizes and colors we come in.”

Along with such shows as Cummings’ musical comedy cabaret series and Cher

and Bono’s “Family Outing,” a program focusing on the coming-out stories of prominent individuals, LOGO will also feature several reality TV shows. These will include a host of shows about gay marriage: “My Fabulous Gay Wedding,” hosted by Kids in the Hall graduate Scott Thompson and “Do I?” in which couples work with an expert to decide whether or not to marry.

A panel discussion show “Twist” and an animated series, “Chelsea Boys,” based on a popular comic about gay life in a New York neighborhood, will also be featured.

The network is scheduled to launch February 2005. — JV

Queeriscaping Primping in the Garden

by Brandie Balken

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Brandie Balken is a horticulturist in Salt Lake City and can be seen at Cactus & Tropicals.

AUGUST 5, 2004 23

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away” — Antoine de St. Exupery It’s a simple fact of life: We all need a little bit of upkeep. I know this firsthand, as I am one of those lucky women who have the pleasure of shaving, plucking, bleaching, moisturizing and coiffing on a daily basis.

Why do I do it? Is it because society has imposed a female standard of beauty on me that I am unable to attain in my natural state? Is it because I am a little OCD and truly can’t leave the house without going through my regimen? Perhaps it’s because I was born with enough testosterone for one hetero football player, two butch lesbians and half a dozen pre-pubescent boys.

I suppose it’s anyone’s guess what my true motivation is. Lucky for you though, dear reader, my experience in personal maintenance has made me quite an expert in landscape maintenance as well.

Now is the perfect time of year for those small chores that increase the overall beauty and health of your landscape. On the same note, now is not the time to be planting — it’s simply too hot. So busy yourself with these simple tasks, and wait ’til fall to plant.

Shaving — Okay, it’s not really shaving; it’s more like pruning or deadheading as we call it in the world of horticulture — but I did want to stick with my theme. This is the time to take your scissors out of your scabbard and go to work on all your perennials (and annuals) that have already sent out their first flush of blooms.

There are several reasons you should deadhead. First, it promotes more flowers.

If the plant doesn’t have to convert all those fertilized flowers into seeds, it can spend its energy forming new flowers, often giving you a second flush. Second, it prevents plants from migrating. When plants go to seed, they send those seeds out — often in places you wish they weren’t.

Plucking — Well, more like pinching.

Now is the time to do some selective pinching of your fall blooming mums, remove the lower lateral branches that look weak or out of place in the overall shape of the plant. This will promote larger, fuller flowers on the remaining stems.

You can actually do this with most of your perennial plants: If something looks out of shape, go ahead and pinch it back. This is going to give the plant more resources to maintain the remaining portion of the plant, helping it grow stronger.

While you’re pinching, take a look at your tomatoes. Pinch the apical (upwardgrowing) stems to keep the plants from getting too leggy. You’ll still get good fruit production from the lateral branches;

you’ll just avoid the Amazon Tomato Effect.

It is important to note that you do not want to be pinching or pruning your woody plants at this time. All of their pruning for shape should be done immediately after they flower, because many of them will only bloom off of “old wood.”

Another thing to remember with pinching: Never remove more than one third of the overall plant mass. This can shock them.

Moisturizing — Can you guess what I’m referring to here? Moisturizer feeds the skin the same way fertilizer feeds a plant! But don’t go crazy on this. Fertilizer can be incredibly beneficial in promoting more lush foliage, bountiful blossoms and flavorful fruit, but if you overdo it you can kill your plant.

I always cut the recommended dosage on the container. If you do it half strength, it’s highly unlikely you’ll burn your plants — and you can always fertilize again.

Another incredibly important thing to remember is that you should never fertilize dry soil. Always water the soil before you fertilize! If you don’t, you can so easily burn the roots of your plants, especially in this heat.

For those of you unfamiliar with fertilizers, here’s a very basic breakdown. You’ll see 3 numbers listed on the package: These refer to the concentration of macronutrients. They are always in the following order: Nitrogen (N), Phosphorus (P), and Potassium or Potash (K).

Nitrogen promotes foliar growth; it’s highest in lawn fertilizers. Phosphorus promotes healthy roots as well as flowers; you’ll see high phosphorus in bloom fertilizers. Potassium promotes fruit production as well as overall health; you’ll see high potassium in garden or vegetable fertilizers.

If you’re unsure about what to use, go with a “balanced” fertilizer like a 10-1010. Make sure that it not only has N-P-K, but also micronutrients and trace elements.

The last thing you should know about fertilizers is that it’s always best to go organic. You have a much smaller risk of burning your plants, you’re increasing the organic materials in your soil and your veggies will taste better. There are some fabulous seaweed-based fertilizers, as well as fish emulsions out there that can do wonders.

Coiffing — This is the final step, which refers to mulching and/or top dressing your plants. As I have discussed in previous columns, mulching cuts down on both weed growth and soil evaporation. If you choose wisely, you can top dress with a product that not only dresses bare soil but also breaks down into organic fertilizer. Fabulous!

You see, darlings, there’s always something to be done! Now get out there and make your yard feel pretty!

Sports

Hungarian wrestler Gergo Szabó, aka Sergio Foster, shown here on the set of “Frathouse Bash” by Pacific Sun.

Overexposed: Hungarian Olympian Banned for Porn Past

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by Jim Provenzano Gergo Szabó was one of Hungary’s topranked freestyle and Greco-Roman wrestlers in the 130-pound weight class. He competed most recently in the United States at the 2003 World Wrestling Championships held at New York City’s Madison Square Garden.

Szabó was defeated in a 9-5 match by U.S. wrestler Evan MacDonald, who will compete at the Olympics in Athens.

Ranked fifth in the European Championship and ninth in the World Championship, Szabó stood a chance to at least place, if not win, a medal in Athens. That ended when Hungarian media reported on his performing in almost a dozen gay porn videos under the name Sergio Foster.

Among the videos, the ironically titled Secrets of a Wrestler series features Szabó and others in authentic wrestling scenes, then having sex in a sports facility near Budapest.

Hungarian laws prohibit the sale of such videos in their own country, which perhaps led the naive athletes to believe what producers told them — that no one they knew

would find out. But the Internet quickly made their faces, and other body parts, known to the world.

Why would an Olympic athlete appear in hardcore porn if actors only make a reported $866 per video? Mark Kleim, who broke the story in English on his website www.GayPornBlog.com, referred me to a Hungarian insider who translated his country’s news coverage.

The tabloid Szines Mai Lap interviewed Szabó’s coach, Tamas Csokas, who said that Szabó had family financial problems that “seemed to be solved by the offers of pornographers. That is why he said yes to their request,” Csokas said. “Gergo is not homosexual. He just needed money, but he has already been sorry for his mistakes.”

The article reported that Szabó’s team has confidence in their teammate, who gave up gay porn to compete full-time. “His results are really important because Hungarians have never had such successes in this category before,” Csokas added. “The whole team fights for Gergo. They love him.”

Despite such support, in May 2004 Gergo

Szabó was forced off the team after a decision from the Hungarian Wrestling Federation. Szabó was one of the first athletes in porn to make Hungarian headlines, yet his isn’t an isolated case.

An innocuous 1995 softcore video called Wrestle featured men of the Hungarian wrestling team grappling naked.

Greenwood Cooper Studio also produced Gymnastikos, which featured members of the Olympic gold medal Hungarian Men’s Gymnastic Team.

Those delicate beginnings may have sparked what Hungary’s media calls a huge gay porn industry that includes prostitution, the secretive compliance of officials in Hungarian athletics, and the desperation of financially strapped athletes.

According to a www.Blikk.hu article, Hungarian journalist Laszlo Menyhert Meszaros’ book Plastic Stars reveals “the dirty secrets of Hungarian media moguls and superstars, leaders of TV channels, who use their positions and their programs to hunt for young musclemen, offering them jobs, publicity, and careers in return for sex and gay porn activities.”

The Hungarian website www.nyugat.hu covered the porn/athlete connection in a series of articles about bodybuilders who moonlight as prostitutes, including Mr. Ukraine/Mr. Universe/Mr. World 1991, Attila Szabó.

Attila Szabó’s coach and mentor is Istvan Kovacs, founder and owner of Budapest’s renowned Koko Gym. The first Hungarian gay hardcore video, Knock Out, was shot at the Koko Gym. Another video, Ambassadors of the Ice, was shot in December 2002 on an ice rink and in locker rooms at Szekesfehervar’s Alba Volan Ice Hockey Bowl, home of a national championship team. The rink was rented for a week at $124/hour. Management claimed they were told a TV commercial was being shot.

The www.Blikk.hu article quotes “Ricardo,” who performed in that video and

found the official’s lack of knowledge “very strange, because employees of the ice hockey bowl lurked around the performers, out of curiosity.” When Ricardo and his costars needed anything, the rink’s staff were entirely at their service.

I spoke with a representative of Pacific Sun Entertainment, the Southern California company that distributes most of director Csaba Borbely’s videos. He asked to remain anonymous, and was unable to arrange an interview with Szabó. But he did say that his company no longer works with Borbely, and that porn gives the athletes quick cash.

“The economy in Hungary made it very tempting for them,” he says. “Besides, the whole labeling system of straight, gay, and bisexual is not prevalent there. A lot of them don’t have a problem with it.”

The revised 2003 disciplinary code of the Hungarian Wrestling Federation gave orders to investigate Szabó’s porn past for the previous two years. Yet supporters of the wrestler say his disqualification was not legitimate, because he had not made any videos since 2001.

Tamas Gaspar, secretary general of the Hungarian Wrestling Federation, in a January 2004 interview in the Hungarian Szines Mai Lap said, “We have never had such a scandalous affair in our sport. A public figure must keep certain rules. It is not our business if somebody were gay. But if he did gay porn, that is a quite another story.”

Yet no sports officials accused of having financial ties to the porn industry have been investigated.

The hypocrisy of Hungarian sports officials who allow the taping of porn videos at sports facilities, then shun athletes who perform in them, leaves that country with a conflict-laden erotic export — and without an accomplished, if not misguided, athlete to represent them in Athens.

Jim Provenzano is the author of the novels “PINS” and “Monkey Suits.”

S.F. to Host “Cabaret on Ice” Citing Safety Concerns, Organizers Ban Feather Boas

by David Nelson International Gay Figure Skating Union, Skate Out and Team San Francisco leaders have joined to produce “Cabaret On Ice” on Aug. 28 — a benefit exhibition performance where 24 adult solo skaters will join ensemble skaters and professional musicians for cabaret, jazz and show-tune ice programs. Net proceeds will be donated in support of Bay Area arts education.

Musicians scheduled to appear include Barry Lloyd, best known for his Cole Porter tributes in San Francisco, New York and London. Lloyd has played for Heather McCrae, Craig Rubano and Ruth Hastings, and was personal pianist for Broadway legend Mary Martin. Other musical performers include Richard Cooper Bayne, Mike Denuit, Lua Hadar, Linda Kosut, Hattie Mullaly, Shayne Rainbolt, and Chris Schwartz.

The exhibition at the Yerba Buena Ice Center will be performed in a stylized cabaret setting with intimate tables and chairs on black carpeting surrounding a stage for the musicians at one end of the ice sheet.

This arrangement will allow the musicians to have a better connection with the audience and skaters.

The exhibition is sanctioned with the Ice Skating Institute through its administrative member International Gay Figure Skating Union. Sanctioning allows both eligible skaters and professionals to participate in the exhibition. U.S. Figure Skating Union skaters may perform in this exhibition while maintaining eligibility to skate in USFSA events. Program lengths will be similar to bronze, silver, gold and master free-skate times.

In addition to the sanctioning, organizers have imposed some unique limits to costumes and props for what they described as safety reasons. Feathers and feather boas, and anything that may come loose from the performers, as well as fire, smoke, water, liquid or confetti is prohibited. Despite these warnings, organizers described the exhibition and its individual performances as marketed specifically to gay audiences.

ADAM AND ANDY by James Asal

HELP WANTED

SALT LAKE CITY Delivery driver to help with the distribution of Salt Lake Metro.

Must have own vehicle and be available every other Wednesday and Thursday.

Will pay hourly rate plus mileage. Call or email Steven for details at (801) 323-9500 or steven@slmetro.com

OGDEN DRIVER WANTED for Salt Lake Metro’s Ogden Route. Must have own vehicle and be available every other Wednesday or Thursday. Will pay hourly rate plus mileage.

Call or email Steven for details at (801) 323-9500 or steven@slmetro.com

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Orchard, Wild Space, Play Areas, Garage, Neighbors act as extended family. 972-2894 www.econ.utah.edu.coho

FAILED SALE—Sold in 2 weeks. 1992 Multi with private park like yard. Immaculate 3 bed, 2 bath, 2 car. Central Air, vaults. Show fussy buyers. $165,000.

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Walk-out, stainless steel appliances. One yr. lease in place. $209,000. Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801-979-3558 URBAN CONDO at the Dakota lofts-1 BR $124,900.

See tours at urbanutah.com.

Babs De Lay, Broker cell: 201-UTAH

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ROOMMATES

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Incredible kitchen remodel, wood fplc, hardwood, granite 801-359-4967. counters, wine chiller, functional mother-in-law, deck, surround sound, 2 car IF YOU SEE NEWS hapw/opener, wkshp, extras. pening that Salt Lake Metro $225,000. Dawn Colbert, Sig- should cover, please call nature Group RE, 979-3558 us at 323-9500 or email NEW LISTING—Perfect 2 editor@slmetro.com bed, 1 bath starter. Stream runs behind. Walkout patio w/park-like backyard. Quiet location, mature trees surrounding make it an ideal place for someone who has a night job. Great daytime sleeping. $98,000 Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801-979-3558 DOWNTOWN TWIN HOME – model unit $138,650.

3BR/2BA, only one left. 586 No. 800W. See tour at urbanutah.com. Babs De Lay, Broker, cell: 201-UTAH

MISC

COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE NEW OFFICE CONDO’S, Redwood Rd. exposure in S. Jordan. Starting at $125,000. 980–5,733 sf available. Cambridge office complex. Dawn Colbert, Signature Group RE, 801979-3558

PETS PUG FOR SALE Cute 1-1/2 old pug. Has papers. Very friendly, loving and playful.

House trained and makes a very good friend. Very cute personality. A very handsome dog that would be great for puppies. Call (435) 840-3047 ask for Kris. $450.00 or best offer.

GAY STREET. 1936 Tudor, 4 Bd, 2 bath in the West Capitol Hill neighborhood, several gay households.

242 W. Reed Ave (740 North) $149,000. John P Poulos 801-641-8998 poujoh@wfrmls.com

SERVICE DIRECTORY ACCOUNTING ACCOUNTING & MORE, Inc. Toni Johnson, Bookkeeping, Tax Preparation. 801-4120600. 1800 S 900 E #4, SLC. a.a.more@earthlink.net

ADVERTISING SERVICE DIRECTORY listings in Salt Lake Metro are a great value at just $25. Call today at 323-9500 or slmetro.com

ATTORNEY

AUDIO VIDEO

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ESTATE PLANNING

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Retouch or alter in any way. pendants. Repairs welcome.

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GROUPS

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SALT LAKE METRO

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StarGayzer

by Madam Lichtenstein

This week will prepare you for a changeable breeze that cools every square inch of hot and heavy August.

Four planets in Virgo and three more in the other three mutable signs encourage your mind, actions and hands to roam free. Will you get caught probing the cookie jar?

We can only hope so!

x

ARIES (Mar 21 to Apr 20) Gay rams mark the advent of August with the knowledge that if they put in the sweat, they will reap the equity. Oh goody — boatloads of hard work thanks to a bunch of planets in tireless Virgo. This may not be the way you envision roasting the shank of your summer but it can set the course for a very profitable, successful, easy autumn. Tote that barge now. Ride the train later.

c

TAURUS (Apr 21 to May 21) Love-struck queer bulls find themselves howling at the harvest moon. Whoohoo. The lusty planets mix up a potent combination of romance, intrigue and several pas de deux. You dance through the month in a happily delirious fog. Be sure that you do not stub your toe when the cruel harsh light of reality turns on. Who is that drinking from your morning coffee cup? Argh!

v

GEMINI (May 22 to Jun 21) You will have quite an active August, gay twin. A cluster of Virgo planets settles comfortably in your backyard and invite the immediate world to your door. Haul out the party mix; grab a keg and buy extra groceries. Long unresolved family issues come to the fore and can be solved or at least settled for the time being. Remember: don’t compromise on what is most important to you.

b

CANCER (Jun 22 to Jul 23) The true measure of a person is how they behave under intense pressure. Will you measure up? Like a ruler, pink crab!

Just be as cool as a cucumber and twice as long starting today through all August. Remember, if folks don’t hear you the first three times you emote don’t say it louder, say it slower. Eventually the world catches up to you and all of your great ideas … eventually.

n

LEO (Jul 24 to Aug 23) Proud lions may max out their gold cards when the August spendfest gets underway. Every little trinket that you have ogled over the past months become a “must have” at any price. Anyone we know?? There is a slight (very slight) chance that you can use this fiscally interesting time to get finances under control and plan for the future. I wouldn’t bet on it though.

m

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VIRGO (Aug 24 to Sep 23) As we enter August, take note of the cluster of planets in your sign. You emerge as a social force with whom to be reckoned. Queer virgins cannot simply fade into the background and view events from afar, as much as they would like to do so. People seek you out and push you into center stage. Dominate and make all the decisions. Who knows? You may just like it.

X

LIBRA (Sep 24 to Oct 23) Give as good as you get as August gets underway. Proud Libras must step up and volunteer for a community effort. It is never too late to get off the fast track, reflect on the bigger picture and get on a path to creating good gay karmic energy. Of course there is a little something in it for you. Any effort can have great ramifications for your future happiness. Apply the oil and start cooking, bud.

C

SCORPIO (Oct 24 to Nov 22) Don’t even think of spending some quiet time alone this August — it just won’t happen. The fates amass a friendly but persistent crowd. The pride parade marches right through your front door and carries you out on a wave.

Queer Scorps have more social commitments than they can cram into their schedule. Be sure that you keep tabs on the who, what, when, where and how.

Why? Because.

V

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 to Dec 22) Do you envision yourself ensconced in some rarified corner office, cashing the big paychecks and bossing others around? Let your dreams catch fire, gay archer.

This August gives you plenty of opportunity to put your what ifs into why nots. But if you are simply going to dream on and not ply your trade, start enjoying the various perks of middle management. Are there any?

B

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 to Jan 20) Pink Caps cannot seem to stay put this August. Blame the cluster of mutable planets for your restlessness and consider escaping to some vast, exotic and exciting locale to recharge your engine. There are some lucky things in store for you in a lost corner of the world. Make your travel itinerary list and check it twice. Travel with the naughty and send a postcard to the nice

N

AQUARIUS (Jan 21 to Feb 19) Otherwise cool and collected Aqueerians find that their August becomes steamy hot to the boiling point. Before your stewpot boils over, take a cue from the earthy Virgo cluster of planets and be a bit more discerning in your choice of amours du jours. Love may sweep you off your feet in a “wilde” frenzy but who will be around to take out the trash? Any volunteers?

M

PISCES (Feb 20 to Mar 20) Relationships become much more important now. All these planets in practical Virgo encourage you to find someone who you can pamper and fuss over. You will have your choice of candidates but before you cast your vote, check out their track record. You don’t want to toss your pearls before any old swine, do you guppie?

Or maybe you do. Oink oink.

Cruise TheStarryEye.com for prescient horoscopes and insightful articles. Madam Lichtenstein is the author of the highly acclaimed “HerScopes: a Guide to Astrology for Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster. This book would have won the Pulitzer had the voting not been rigged.

Walter! – Star of Carnival Cabaret, Tahoe’s longest running show … ever presents

Oz ...

The Twisted An Adult Rocky Horror-Meets-Toto Starring Walter! As Dorothy, Ruby Slippers as the Wicked Witch, Siren Vaughan as the Tin man, Fluffy as Toto.

Friday 8pm at Charlies in Pocatello.

Tickets $10 available in advance at Charlies. Limited Seating.

WOMEN FOR WOMEN

PERSONALS MISSED CONNECTIONS I’VE SEEN YOU IN MY DREAMS! and now i want to get you into my future.If you are 28-40 fit funky and female get on the keyboard.

REPLY TO BOX 25, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

I SAW YOU at the Jazz Festival. Thanks, seeing you again reminded me that you just don’t have the “NESS” anymore! Have a nice life and I really mean it! Oh and cut your damn hair!

REPLY TO BOX 26, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

SATURDAY, JUNE 12, at MoDiggity’s 10pm show. We chatted in line a couple of times, but I never got your name. You: short dark hair, white tank, glasses around your neck, and a gorgeous smile.

Me: curly brown hair and black shirt. I would love to chat more.

REPLY TO BOX 15, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

SOFTBALL BABE You were watching at the Pride Softball League, looked like you were out for injury. I was in the white FCUK t-shirt and we traded grins.

REPLY TO BOX 19, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

EUROPEAN CONNECTION Sat 5Jun04 2PM. You on a date in blue shirt, me red hair in the white shirt wearing glasses.

REPLY TO BOX 12, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

COWBOY Saw you at the Trapp on karaoke night. You had a cream-colored cowboy hat and handlebar mustache (no - not the waiter). I had a Hawaiian shirt on and figured you’d shoo me away. I wanna ride your horse. Wanna ride mine?

REPLY TO BOX 20, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

MEN FOR MEN

HEY ASSHOLE You cut me off on Bangerter Hwy. I sped around you to flip you off, but you were too cute. You in red Honda Civic with white interior.

Me in black Subaru WRX.

LIFE’S TOO SHORT to be alone GWM, 38 yrs old seeks LTR with a great guy. I’m outgoing and fun and a little kinky. You should be 30-40 yrs old with same goals. Smoke and drug-free a must.

REPLY TO BOX 18, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

REPLY TO BOX 16, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

SOMEONE CATCH your eye?

Wanted to meet them, but were too shy? Get your own Missed Connections ad for just a buck at 323-9500 or slmetro.com

MODERN AESTHETIC 28 SWM Gay. Downtown seeks partner for conversation, arts performances, etc. Love travel, cooking, fine dining.

REPLY TO BOX 5, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

GRYFF Hot fun intellectual artistic spritualist/pagan Bi 32WM 175# 6’ seeks openness honesty fun-loving individuals to expand friendship base, and possibly more. Must be free-spirited and NO jealousy REPLY TO BOX 7, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

PROFESSIONAL with no time to date. Just looking for short-term companionship with nice guy(s). Prefer smaller, smooth. Latin a plus.

REPLY TO BOX 21, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

SPEED DATING If you have tried all the other ways to meet that special someone, try Speed Dating sponosered

by Salt Lake Metro at Club Panini, a private club for members. Monday, August 2, 7pm. Details 323-9500

SPEED DATING If you have tried all the other ways to meet that special someone, try Speed Dating sponosered by Salt Lake Metro at Club Panini, a private club for members.

Monday, August 2, 7pm.

Details 323-9500

DWF,59,Warm,kind,fun, feminine, attractive professional seeks same.

LDS/given up on men. Seek emotionally commited, stable relationship. Love music, conversa., the out of doors, Young/active

OTHER Seeking Information about Richard Ferre. Call Teresa at 801-363-8888.

WF, 38, busy and a little

shy,looking for friend or more, esp other classy smart professional women.

Wild side likes to romp and shop during stolen afternoons but can behave, too.

REPLY TO BOX 3, PERSONALS@SLMETRO.COM

Salt Lake Metro

Personals are still just a buck!

NEW IN TOWN, or interested in meeting new friends?

Come to sWerve monthlies, 3rd Saturday of each month, GLBT Center. Info 539-8800 ext. 25 or www.swerveutah. com (join email list!)

Get yours today by going to slmetro.com or call 323-9500.

FIND YOUR MATCH in the Salt Lake Metro classifieds. 323-9500 or visit slmetro.com

FIND YOUR MATCH in the Salt Lake Metro classifieds. 323-9500 or visit slmetro.com

What Would Jesus Do?

He’d Drink Wine!

Join Us for Wine Tastings at Members’ Homes.

BITTER GIRL by Joan Hilty

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