QSaltLake Magazine - May 01 2007

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MAY 1, 2007

GA ZINE   A M T N E M NTERTAIN E & s w bian Ne

ISSUE 77

BYU Tweaks Anti-Gay Policy Denies Soulforce protests prompted the change.

‘Equality Riders’ Arrested at BYU-Idaho Rider: Disheartened BYU will arrest but not open mind

Utah Opera to Premiere ‘Grapes of Wrath’ Southern Utah Gays Vow Pride Will Go On

Rosie O’Donnell Cancels R Families Bermuda Visit Crossword and Sudoku Been and Bitched Comics The Gay Agenda

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Gay Meth Users Five Times More Likely to Test HIV+

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Editor-in-Chief

Michael Aaron

Assistant Editor

JoSelle Vanderhooft Arts Editor

Tony Hobday CONTRIBUTORS

Joshua Barnes Anthony Cuesta Benjamin Dyches Troy Espera Ruth Hackford-Peer Chad Keller Laurie Mecham Ruby Ridge Mikey Rox David Samsel Ryan Shattuck Mark Thrash Ross Von Metzke William Simmons Dylan Vox Duane Wells Ben Williams Troy Williams

From the Editor Infectious Passion by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

While working in San Francisco during my five-year stint as a producer for an advertising agency, one of my clients was the San Francisco Opera. I was charged with leading a team that would develop a website, mailer and multimedia CD advertising their run of the 16-hour opera, Der Ring des Nibelungen. (Our work, by the way, won several awards.) I wasn’t much of an opera fan at the time. Mind you, I didn’t hate opera as many do, but I just wasn’t a big fan. I was tempted to appreciate opera by the film Philadelphia, where Tom Hank’s character translates a haunting aria sung by Maria Callas. It is a pivotal scene in the

development of the relationship between Hank’s character and his lawyer, played by Denzel Washington. It was heartwrenching and powerful. It wasn’t until working with San Francisco Opera’s general director, Lotfi Mansouri, and music director Donald Runnicles and the principals of the production of the Ring did I become a true aficionado. It was their passion. You could see it in their eyes, you could hear it in their voices, even their body language showed that they were consumed with bringing such a powerful art force to the world. And they all had it. The soprano, the stage manager, the costume designer. And it was infectious. I began to spend hours digging into the Ring Cycle, what it was about, why someone would travel across the globe to sit through the fourday production. I went to every opera they showed during my time there, wanting to get to know and understand, and more importantly, appreciate each. I was reminded of all this when I interviewed Ricky Ian Gordon, the composer of Grapes of Wrath, for this issue.

Gordon has an infectious zeal about his work, a light behind his eyes and a passion about its importance. Gordon is at the top of his game and he knows it. His struggle to become known and appreciated has been a long road, but a successful one. He calls himself lucky, in that he was in the right place at the right time for events that led to his success. But we all know that luck is created. You consciously position yourself in places to ensure you are there at the right time. Gordon’s success was shaped by the loss of a lover to AIDS, by overcoming addiction, and by simple hard work. His story is one of triumph through cleaning up and pounding the pavement. Kind of like the American dream. The same dream, ironically, that The Grapes of Wrath reveals is not always available to everyone within the country’s borders. I look forward with great anticipation to seeing Grapes. I also look forward to seeing more work from Gordon and his librettist partner Michael Corey. I saw his passion, and I am hooked. Q

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News

Nepal Urged to End Anti-Gay Violence

World

R Family Vacations Cancels Bermuda Visit BY DUANE WELLS

LOS ANGELES — R Family Vacations, the vacation company co-founded by Rosie O’Donnell’s wife, Kelli O’Donell, will be avoiding a popular tourist spot during a scheduled cruise this summer. It had previously planned to stop in Bermuda following a July 7 departure from New York City. However, a spokesperson for Bermuda’s prime minister told PinkNews.co.uk the vacation company was concerned about what would happen if the cruise stopped in Bermuda. Though the prime minister said he would not keep the cruise from coming to the island, religious groups in Bermuda said they would not let the cruise stop there without acting in some way. Andre Curtis of the group United By Faith told The Royal Gazette, “We may just choose to pick them [the cruise passengers] up by bus and bus them to our church, to different denominations, and have the pastors pray for them.” However, others in Bermuda were not in agreement with the religious groups’ decision. Renee Webb, a campaigner for human rights, told the Gazette that “it’s a sad day for Bermuda. The church thinks it can dictate who can come to Bermuda and who can’t. Today homosexuals, tomorrow who?” However, she told the paper she realizes the motivation for R Family’s decision. “They’re not taking a risk and you can’t blame them. They said they had

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880 children on the ship. These children have been adopted by parents who are same-sex couples and the children know. But it’s one thing to know it, [and] another thing to be faced by people with placards calling your parents whatever nasty names they chose to call them. It’s a shock, the kids were traumatized and they don’t want to go through that again.” The cruise had to deal with protests three years ago when it stopped in the Bahamas. On April 19 Bermuda Premier, Dr. the Hon. Ewart F. Brown JP, MP responded to news reports regarding the cancellation. In his statement, Premier Brown said, “Bermuda is a democracy that welcomes all people of all races, colors, creeds and sexual orientation. While the government of Bermuda has done everything we can to welcome the Rosie O’Donnell-hosted cruise, we understand and respect their decision however saddened we are by it. We stress to the international community the Bermudian government’s position of inclusion and acceptance of all who wish to visit our beautiful and friendly country.” Gregg Kaminsky, CEO of R Family Vacations, stated: “We know it is a small group of churches that do not welcome us. R Family Vacations has no issue with Bermuda. Anyone who asks me if Bermuda is gay-friendly I will respond, ‘yes.’” The Premier finished his statement by saying, “Bermuda has always had a welcoming open-door policy to all visitors.”

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NEW YORK — Human Rights Watch, a New York-based organization dedicated to protecting the human rights of people around the world, is calling on the Communist Party of Nepal-Maoist, which is now part of the Nepalese government, to stop antigay violence by its cadres and renounce anti-gay rhetoric. In an April 16 release, Human Rights Watch said the kidnapping shows the need for all parties in Nepal to endorse protections for full equality, including for lesbians and gays, in the new constitution to be drafted later this year. On Nov. 21, 2006, an agreement between Nepal’s coalition government and the Maoists ended 10 years of fighting. Since signing the peace accord, the Maoists have joined the interim government. “As Nepal tries to recover from a decade of conflict, its leaders should make it clear that no one’s rights are disposable,” Jessica Stern, researcher in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights program at Human Rights Watch, said. “Abusing women for their sexuality and forcibly recruiting children are simply unacceptable in a new Nepal.” In the early March incident, Maoists detained a 16-year-old girl and a 20-yearold woman, Sarita C., on suspicion that they had a sexual relationship. The two were on their way to a celebration of the annual Hindu Holi festival in Pankali village in Sunsari district. The festival had been organized by the Human Welfare Society, a Nepali non-governmental organization working on issues of HIV/AIDS and human rights. According to the Blue Diamond Society, another Nepali group working in the field of health, sexual rights and HIV prevention, the two were held for eight hours at the Maoist camp in Singiya village in Sunsari. They were intensively interrogated about whether they were homosexuals, and informed by a Maoist cadre that they would have to “undergo a blood test to check if they were lesbians.” Officials for the Human Welfare Society were also summoned to the Maoist camp and subjected to interrogation. The girl’s family had used violence on several occasions against the couple and had demanded that the Maoists take action against them. In late 2006, the girl and woman were abducted and held in a Maoist camp at Lochani village in Morang District. At the camp, the Maoists called the alleged couple derogatory names for homosexuals including “chakka” and “hijara” and ordered them to join the Maoists as soldiers because it would lead them to the “straight life.” When they refused to carry weapons, they were deprived of food and beaten almost daily. After one month, they managed to escape.

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“The Maoists have to show their troops they respect the law and the rights of all Nepalis, especially now they’re in government,” Stern said. “Maoist leaders should act swiftly to condemn abuses, and support a new constitution that protects everyone from discrimination, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.” These attacks stand in stark contrast with recent commitments made by Hisila Yami, a Maoist member of parliament and the Minister for Infrastructure in Nepal’s interim government. In January 2007, at a program organized by the Blue Diamond Society, Yami stated that the party had recently adopted a policy “not to encourage homosexual behavior, but not punish homosexuals either.” However, other recent statements by Maoist leaders have painted a different picture. In December 2006, Maoist senior leader and Minister of Local Development Dev Gurung said publicly that: “Under Soviet rule and when China was still very much a communist state, there were no homosexuals in the Soviet Union or China … Homosexuality is a production of capitalism. Under socialism this kind of problem doesn’t exist.” As part of Maoists’ campaign against so-called “social pollutants,” Maoist cadres have also targeted suspected homosexuals. In December 2006, Maoists in Kathmandu ordered homeowners not to rent rooms to gays or lesbians. Amrita Thapa, general secretary of the Maoist women’s association, told participants at a national conference in March 2006 that homosexuals were unnatural and were “polluting” society.

Jerusalem Gay Pride Parade Protesters Suspected in Bombing TEL AVIV, ISRAEL — A bomb detonated in the Jerusalem village of Beit Jimal on the morning of April 20 was the work of Gay Pride Parade protesters, police suspect. According to the Jerusalem Post, several fliers condemning the parade, which is scheduled to take place in Jerusalem in June, were found in a vineyard near a monastery, close to where the mediumsized bomb went off. A nearby tractor driver was lightly wounded in the blast. Jerusalem District head Cmdr. Ilan Franco ordered a special team to open an investigation into the incident. The Pride Parade was originally scheduled to take place last summer, but was canceled several times. It was first pushed off to November due to the outbreak of the Second Lebanon War in July. Then, due to the overwhelming threat of violence from parade protesters, the event was reworked into a rally that was confined to the Hebrew University campus in Givat Ram. Disturbances on the day of the rally were minimal, though security was tight. However, outrage over the issue of the parade, which caused serious rifts in Jerusalem society last year, has remained high, particularly in the religious community. On April 22 the Open House for Pride and Tolerance filed an official request with the Jerusalem Police seeking authorization to hold a pride parade in the capital on June 21. “I hope there is no connection between the explosion that occurred near Beit Shemesh and the haredim [strictly Orthodox Jews], but nothing would surprise me in light of their behavior during the previous gay parade,” Open House member Saar Netanel said to Ynet News.

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Gay, Bi Meth Users Five Times More Likely To Test HIV-Positive LOS ANGELES — Men who have sex with men and used crystal methamphetamine in the last year were five times more likely to test HIV-positive than MSM who did not use the drug, according to preliminary data collected by the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, the Los Angeles Times reports. The center also found that 25 percent of the 6,360 MSM it tested for HIV and other sexually-transmitted infections in 2006 reported using crystal meth at least once, compared with 18 percent of the 5,300 MSM tested in 2005. Mike Rizzo, the center’s manager of crystal meth recovery services, said 43 percent of people newly infected with HIV report some meth use. “There’s no doubt in the minds of most experts that meth contributes not only to

the transmission of HIV but other STIs,” Jonathan Fielding, director of the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, said. According to Fielding, more people who seek treatment in Los Angeles County-funded programs use meth than any other drug. He said the county has funded three new HIV and meth prevention programs targeting MSM. West Hollywood, Calif., planned to hold a news conference April 14 to increase public awareness about meth use among MSM and to release public service announcements that aim to help combat the issue. In addition, West Hollywood officials scheduled a town hall forum to discuss expanded treatment options for MSM who use meth.

Fired Transgender City Manager Drops Suit

tive Director. “The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community has fought long and hard for federal employment protections to stop just this type of discrimination. We look forward to working with Steve as we build Congressional support for the much needed federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act.” Regarding the future, Stanton said, “In addition to working to educate the public about transgender people, I want to continue working in my profession and prove that Susan Stanton can be every bit as effective a city manager as Steve Stanton was.”

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N.H. Gov. To Sign Civil Unions Law BY ANTHONY CUESTA

CONCORD, N.H. — On April 19, New Hampshire Democratic Gov. John Lynch said he will sign legislation establishing civil unions for gay couples in the state. “I believe it is a matter of conscience, fairness and preventing discrimination,” Lynch said. New Hampshire would become the fourth state to adopt civil unions, following Connecticut, Vermont and New Jersey. New Hampshire’s Democratic-controlled House of Representatives voted overwhelming in April to give gay couples nearly the same rights as married couples. The bill was expected to reach the state Senate by April 28. “When or if the bill reaches the governor’s desk he will sign it,” Colin Manning, a spokesman for Lynch, said. “The governor believes this is a matter of conscience, fairness and preventing discrimination,” Manning continued. “The governor has been discussing the issue with lawmakers as well as people outside the statehouse. He wanted to hear all sides of the argument.” Lynch had previously declined to take a public position on civil unions, though he has supported expanding health benefits to same-sex partners of state workers. He came under fire from conservatives and liberals for not weighing in, especially after a delay of the Senate vote on the House-passed bill. Lynch said he is confident the legislation will pass. It would authorize civil unions beginning Jan. 1, 2008.

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TAMPA, FLA. — National Center for Lesbian Rights client Steven Stanton and NCLR Senior Counsel Karen Doering announced Friday on Larry King Live that Stanton has decided to focus on education and public advocacy on behalf of the transgender community rather than file a lawsuit against the city he faithfully served for the past 17 years. On March 23, the City Commission of Largo, Fla. voted 5-2 to terminate Stanton after learning that he is transgender and intends to transition from male to female. Stanton served as the Largo City Manager for the past 14 years and consistently received excellent reviews. Prior to serving as City Manager, Stanton worked for the city for three years as Assistant City Manager. “This has been an incredibly difficult decision,” said Stanton. “I was devastated by the commission’s rush to judgment and discriminatory decision to fire me simply for being transgender. What the commission did was shocking and cruel, and clearly unlawful. It is tempting to seek retribution in the courts, but after much reflection and soul searching, I just cannot find it within my heart to sue Largo — a city I have always and will always love. I do not want to punish the citizens of Largo. This is a time for healing, not more conflict. And ultimately, I believe I will have more influence as an educator than as a plaintiff.” “Steve Stanton is a visionary leader,” said Karen Doering, Senior Counsel for NCLR. “His decision to choose peace and healing over continued divisiveness is bold and courageous. What a great country we would have if we had more leaders like Steve Stanton in public service.” NCLR will continue to work with Stanton in the organization’s public education and advocacy programs. Stanton will also join the national Center for Transgender Equality in its Congressional education efforts. “What happened to Steve is a crystal clear example of the type of employment discrimination that transgender people experience every day around the United States,” said Mara Keisling, NCTE Execu-

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News

Oregon Passes Gay Rights Laws By Anthony Cuesta

National

Students Protesting Day Of Silence Suspended By Anthony Cuesta

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Sacramento, Calif. — A group of Sacramento high school students were suspended on April 18 for refusing to take off anti-gay T-shirts that administrators said were inappropriate. The shirts, which the students wore in protest of the gay-rights event Day of Silence, said “Sodomy is sin” and quoted a Bible passage about homosexuality. Phil Spears, interim principal of Rio Linda High School, told the Sacramento Bee the shirts violated the school’s dress code. Students were asked to take them off, he said, and were suspended if they disobeyed the request. “They’re offensive to some people and disruptive to school,” he said. “Kids are going to react to these.”

The Day of Silence is a national day of campus activism organized by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. For the past 11 years, participating students take a day-long vow of silence to raise awareness of the harassment and bullying that many gay teens face. Protests at Rio Linda High were not nearly as large or inflammatory on April 18 as they were at other schools last year. Some of the suspended students and their supporters staged an after-school protest outside the school. They held signs saying, “School censors Bible,” “School bans free speech” and “Don’t silence Christians.” Protesters say the Day of Silence promotes a gay agenda in the public schools. They say they should be entitled to counter it by promoting a Christian message.

Eugene, Ore. — On April 18 the Oregon State Senate passed a bill protecting gays and lesbians from discrimination in housing, work and public places. “It is a good day for Oregon,” said Sen. Ginny Burdick, D-Portland, who carried the bill to the floor on the morning of April 18. “This is the last step in the legislative process. We just get better and better as a state the more inclusive we are,” she told the Oregonian. The senate voted 19-7 in favor of the anti-discrimination bill, Senate Bill 2, with little debate. On April 17 it passed in the house after two hours of debate. Gov. Ted Kulongoski has said he will sign the bill, which emerged from a task force he created last year. The bill that passed would ban discrimination against gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people in employment, housing and access to public accommodations. Oregon is expected to become one of 18 states with laws banning discrimination based on sexual orientation. The second bill would enable same-sex couples to enter into contractual relationships that grant them the same benefits offered to married couples under state law. The bill refers to the relationships as “domestic partnerships.” Oregon would join Vermont, Connecticut, California and New Jersey in offering civil unions or domestic partnerships to same-sex couples. Massachusetts allows gay couples to marry. Hawaii extends certain spousal rights to same-sex and cohabitating heterosexual pairs. The Washington legislature last week approved a limited domestic-partnership bill that’s expected to be signed into law. An opponent of the Oregon domesticpartnership bill, state Rep. Dennis Richardson, R-Central Point, told the Associated Press that a fairer approach would be to allow a more limited range of marriage-style benefits to two people who live together. “This bill is in fact marriage by another name,” he said.

Higher Rates of Eating Disorders Found in Gay Men By Dylan Vox

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Los Angeles — A new study published in the April 2007 issue of International Journal of Eating Disorders, suggests that gay and bisexual men and women may be at far higher risk for eating disorders than heterosexuals. The study conducted by the Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health brings to light a population-based study for the first time, which provides evidence of formal diagnoses based on established psychiatric criteria rather than just surveying those who have had some symptoms. The study results showed that more than 15 percent of gay or bisexual men had at some time suffered anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorder, or at least certain symptoms of those disorders, compared with less than five percent of heterosexual men. “It is not clear why gay men have high rates of eating disorders,” says Dr. Ilan Meyer an associate professor of clinical Sociomedical Sciences at the school who was the principle investigator in the study. “One theory is that the values and norms in the gay men’s community promote a body-centered focus and high expectations about physical appearance, so that, similar to what has been theorized about heterosexual women, they may feel pressure to maintain an ideal body image.” Q

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Colorado Closer To Allowing Same-Sex Couples to Adopt By Anthony Cuesta

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Gay Couple’s Adoption Suit Moves Forward

San Jose, Calif. — On April 10, Michael Butler and Rich Butler, a San Jose, Calif. gay couple, have gotten approval to go ahead with a discrimination suit against the adoption Web site Adoption.com. Phyllis J. Hamilton, the U.S. District Court Judge who handed down this ruling, decided that the Web site’s alleged discrimination of the Butlers, and of gay couples in general, was not in line with the anti-discrimination laws in the state of California. In 2002, the site refused to put up the Butlers’ request to be parents. The couple is being represented jointly by the National Center for Lesbian Rights and Neel Chatterjee from the firm Orrick, Herrington and Sutcliffe. The site is owned by Nathan Gwilliam and his father Dale Gwilliam, both of whom are Mormon. Their lawyer, Glen Lavy, told the Bay Area Reporter that his clients think a child needs a father and a mother. “Our clients concluded several years ago based on the social science research

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viduals to adopt, but a Colorado Supreme Court ruling bars same-sex couples from qualifying for step-parent or second- parent adoptions. A number of national organizations of healthcare professionals, including the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Society of Pediatric Psychology, have endorsed second-parent adoption laws as being beneficial to children.

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Colorado Moves Toward Protecting Gays in the Workplace

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Denver — On April 16 the Colorado State Senate approved a bill that would bar workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation. Colorado lawmakers, led by Sen. Jennifer Veiga, D-Denver, have passed similar bills in the last two years but both were vetoed by former Republican Gov. Bill Owens. This year’s bill, Senate Bill 25 was introduced by Veiga, the only open lesbian in the Legislature. It would make it illegal for the state’s employers to hire, fire, promote or compensate workers based on sexual orientation or religion. “People should be judged on the basis of their employment absolutely, and not on the basis of their gay and lesbian status,� Veiga told her fellow legislators. Although Democrats seemingly agreed, Republicans by and large did not. Sen. Greg Brophy, R-Wray, asserted that gays and lesbians do not meet the definition of a protected class, while Sen. Tom Wiens. R-Castle Rock, offered a slew of amendments to the bill regarding religious expression. All were defeated on party-line votes, while Veiga’s original bill passed by a vote of 20 to 15. The measure must pass another vote in the state Senate before it can be sent to the House and eventually Democratic Gov. Bill Ritter for consideration.

that children need a mom and a dad,� he said. Sexual orientation, he added, would not be a factor. “If a homosexual man married a lesbian, they simply would not be asking the question, ‘What is your sexual orientation?’ It would not be an issue.� The Gwilliams also argued that California’s laws regarding consumer dealings don’t apply to the Arizona-based Adoption.com, or to a company that has the right of free speech. According to Shannon Minter, the legal director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the Hamilton’s decision to move the case forward is important. “It means that companies that do business with California residents on the Internet cannot discriminate against LGBT couples and have to comply with all other aspects of California anti-discrimination law,� she said. “It’s actually an emerging issue across the country whether internet businesses have to comply with state anti-discrimination and consumer protection laws. So this is a very big victory.� The court date for this case will be released toward the end of April.

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Denver — Same-sex couples can adopt each other’s children in Colorado thanks to a bill given preliminary approval by the Senate on April 18. The bill passed on a party-line voice vote over the objections of critics who accused majority Democrats of trying to override the voters’ will. “This bill is about the homosexual agenda, and it’s not Colorado State Senator about what’s best for children,� said state Jennifer Veiga Sen. Scott Renfroe, R-Greeley, who also said the measure “undermines marriage.� Sen. Ted Harvey, R-Highlands Ranch, said voters might have been somewhat supportive of civil unions for gay and lesbian couples, but he has no doubt about where they stand on adoption by samesex couples. “The people of the state of Colorado, who may be split on civil unions, are not split on and are very adamant against same-sex adoptions,� he said. But the bill’s sponsor, Sen. Jennifer Veiga, D-Denver, disagreed. “HB1330 does nothing to recognize any relationships,� Veiga said, reports The Gazette. “What it does is recognize that there are gay couples out there who have kids.� Veiga said that the bill does not allow a gay couple to adopt a child that is unrelated to either partner, leaving intact Colorado’s law prohibiting such adoptions. She also said that children growing up with two parents of the same gender fare as well as their counterparts in socalled traditional families. Current Colorado law allows gay indi-

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Local News

BYU Relaxes Anti-Gay Policies BY LISA HANSEN

On April 12 Brigham Young University changed the section in its Honor Code dealing with homosexuality. The new text defines homosexual behavior as “not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings.� According to the new document, homosexual advocacy includes “seeking to influence others to engage in homosexual behavior or promoting homosexual relations as being morally acceptable.� Kevin Dion, a leader of Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons in Orlando,

Fla., applauds the change. “The move by BYU to clarify and to differentiate between sexual orientation and sexual behavior is a positive and welcome step in helping BYU students and faculty to treat our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters with respect and tolerance,� says Dion. “It deserves our strongest applause and recognition.� Hugo Salinas, associate director of Affirmation, disagrees. “All this change does is show that BYU sees homosexual behavior as something completely different from heterosexual behavior,“ says Salinas. “The fact that gay and lesbian students need three additional para-

graphs of Honor Code is itself an act of discrimination. The guiding principle of this change is not to help gay and lesbian students, but to give BYU officials grounds to continue disciplining students who kiss their same-sex dates.� The change occurred three weeks after gay and lesbian students urged the BYU administration to clarify its policies. The students were participating in a panel organized by Soulforce Equality Riders near BYU. A BYU spokesperson denied that the Ride had anything to do with the change. Carri Jenkins said the revised rules are part of an ongoing process to reflect student questions and concerns.

BYU’s Honor Code Changes Old Text: HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR OR ADVOCACY Brigham Young University will respond to student behavior rather than to feelings or orientation. Students can be enrolled at the University and remain in good Honor Code standing if they maintain a current ecclesiastical endorsement and conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code. Advocacy of a homosexual lifestyle (whether implied or explicit) or any behaviors that indicate homosexual conduct, including those not sexual in nature, are inappropriate and violate the Honor Code. Violations of the Honor Code may result in actions up to and including separation from the University.

In a letter to Soulforce, Will Carson, Policy and Strategy Coordinator for Equality Utah, acknowledged the Equality Ride’s role in the change: “As a result of your visit, several students contacted the administration of BYU to ask about the University’s Honor Code. Because of those questions and concerns, BYU has changed the code in significant ways.� “BYU’s policy can now be summarized as ‘Do ask, do tell, don’t do.’� Carson continued. “This is an important step in the path toward equal rights because it is only through dialogue that we can eliminate fear and achieve a fair and just Utah. Thank you for helping to open the door a bit further.�

New Text: HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR OR ADVOCACY Brigham Young University will respond to homosexual behavior rather than to feelings or orientation and welcomes as full members of the university community all whose behavior meets university standards. Members of the university community can remain in good Honor Code standing if they conduct their lives in a manner consistent with gospel principles and the Honor Code. One’s sexual orientation is not an Honor Code issue. However, the Honor Code requires all members of the university community to manifest a strict commitment to the law of chastity. Homosexual behavior or advocacy of homosexual behavior are inappropriate and violate the Honor Code. Homosexual behavior includes not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings. Advocacy includes seeking to inuence others to engage in homosexual behavior or promoting homosexual relations as being morally acceptable. Violations of the Honor Code may result in actions up to and including separation from the University.

Eight Soulforce Riders Arrested at BYU-Idaho

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REXBURG, IDAHO — On Monday, April 16, Equality Ride, a national tour of gay and straight young adults on a mission to end religion-based discrimination, came to Brigham Young University in Rexburg, Idaho. Eight riders, including two who grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, were arrested as they attempted to engage the campus in dialogue. The riders walked on campus with photos of their families and a message to the community that God affirms lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their families as they are. “I am disheartened that the administration would arrest us, silence their students, and promote discriminatory policies rather than open up their hearts and minds to their LGBT students who are suffering in the closet,� said Alexey Bulokhov, Soulforce Equality Ride CoDirector. BYU upholds LDS doctrines that condemn gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people from being out and active members in the Church. BYU lists “homosexual conduct� as grounds for expulsion. Melissa Pomeroy, a sophomore at BYU, shared her concern: “I feel like I’m all alone at BYU. There is no way for me to meet others like me, even just to talk, because everyone is so afraid of coming out.� “Many closeted students at BYU have reached out to us in anonymity. Some want to thank us and some want someone to talk to. Overall, it’s clear that these students need us to begin this dialogue

because they cannot risk being out, and they need to see that it’s okay to be gay and Christian — God loves us as we are,� said Cray Gondek, Rider and BYU, Idaho Stop Coordinator. Equality riders held a vigil and family picnic April 17. The Soulforce Equality Ride, in its second annual year, is made up of 50 young adults, two buses and two routes, one eastbound and one westbound. Their first stop in Idaho was at Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa, Idaho. Along with NNU, the westbound bus has received many welcomes onto campus and has shared a message of inclusion across the Midwest and Pacific Coast.

Southern Utah GLBT Health Summit The Historic Green House Bed and Breakfast in St. George, Utah will host the GLBT Health Summit from Friday, May 18 to Sunday, May 20. Among its many events, the summit will include a barbecue, pool party, tennis, free HIV testing, forums on health issues and Cyber Sluts Bingo. The suggested donation for the event is $15. Limited space is available. The Historic Green House Bed and Breakfast is located at 162 South 300 West, St. George. The event is a service of the Community Counseling Center of Southern Utah. For more information call 435-674-9449 or 801-244-0976 or e-mail ccofsout@msn.com.

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Local News AIDS Foundation Needs Volunteers

Local Church Holds Retreat

The Utah AIDS Foundation is in need of volunteers for all three days of Utah Pride 2007, held June 1-3. On Friday June 1 and Saturday June 2, they will need assistance with their outreach program. On Sunday June 3 they need approximately 150 volunteers to help with several tasks including set up and tear down for their HIV test site and helping with the test site throughout the day. UAF will also need about 20 volunteers for the annual HRC dinner June 22–23.

Holladay United Church of Christ in Salt Lake City will host its retreat “Intersections: Exploring the Places Where Our Lives Come Together� on May 11-13. The retreat will help attendees gain a greater understanding of the intersections between sexuality and spirituality, and how these two seemingly contradictory aspects of life can be placed in a healthy balance. Through workshops and discussions, this retreat will break away from basic distinctions of gay and straight sexuality, and seek to address these topics in an open, gay-affirming environment. In addition to participatory workshops, the retreat will include a Friday night social and guest speaker Ann Hanson. Hanson is originally from Montana and currently serves as the Minister for Children, Family, and Human Sexuality Advocacy nationally for the United Church of Christ. The cost includes a light social Friday, three meals Saturday, and breakfast Sunday. The cost for the weekend is $35, or $25 for students and those unable to pay the full price. The retreat will begin with check-in on Friday at 6:30 pm, and conclude Sunday at noon. The retreat is open to adults age 19 and over.

For more information, or to volunteer, contact Johnnie Brakey, at 487-2323 or Johnnie. Brakey@utahaids.org.

Equality Utah Holds Gay Rights Workshops On Tuesday, May 1, Equality Utah will hold its Child-Parent Protections Seminar on the ways in which the Jones v. Barlow Utah Supreme Court decision will effect gay families. The seminar will be held at First Unitarian Church (569 South 1300 East) from 6:30-7:30 p.m. On Tuesday, May 8 the gay-rights organization will also hold Clock in for Equality, a seminar about gay equality in the workplace, at the Utah Pride Center. The 6:00 p.m. seminar will be followed by a performance by traveling queer folk musician Eric Himan. A $5 donation for the performance is requested.

For more information, email Jack.Lewis@ utah. edu or visit rmcucc. org

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Southern Utah Vows ‘Pride as Usual’ All is well in Zion, according to organizers of Southern Utah Pride. Despite changes in leadership, a 2007 event has been scheduled for Sept. 28 and 29, according to Chris McArdle, the president of Southern Utah Pride. Writing in response to a QSaltLake news story about the event’s future [“Southern Utah Pride Organization May Fold,� April 1], McArdle said that Southern Utah Pride @ Zion is in the process of restructuring. On May 6, the organization will hold a town hall meeting to address such subjects as selecting new board members, assign-

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ing volunteers and creating a chain of communication between all members of the Pride Committee. Also on the agenda: ways to involve the community in this year’s event. “The idea is that, to pull this off, it can’t just be done by four people,� McArdle said. He added that several of the current board members will participate in the meeting to facilitate the change of leadership. McArdle also said that a Yahoo group posting by last year’s Pride board members was not an announcement that the two-year-old event had folded. Rather, he said their post was an invitation for interested members of the community to take over where they had left off. “The former board for 2006 Pride was stepping aside for a new group of leaders,� he said. Along with looking for more board members and the many volunteers needed to make the event a success, McArdle and fellow board member Chris Bradshaw have been searching for entertainment for the event. Interested (though not confirmed) performers so far include Stewart Lewis of New York City, Dena Cass of Cedar Rapids, IA, Justice Paige Counce of San Diego and Salt Lake City’s own Nova Starr and the Platinum Pussy Review. According to McArdle, Claudia Bradshaw, the head of Southern Utah’s chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, is also working closely with PSU to ensure that parents and members on the “outskirts� of the community (such as those still in the closet) are included. Southern Utah Pride 2006 attendee Chris Doss said he wants last year’s event to stick around, but hopes that communications between Southern and Northern Utah can be stronger in the future. “Southern Utah Pride 2006 was outstanding,� said Doss, LCSW and Clinician with Community Counseling Center of Southern Utah. “Southern Utah Pride @ Zion desires to reach out to our “brothers and sisters� in the north of the state with our pride event. It is a great way to head into the fall season.� Southern Utah Pride is presented historically the last weekend of September in Springdale, Utah near the entrance of Zion National Park. Reservations for this year’s event have been booked and paid. The town hall meeting will be held on May 6 at 11 pm at 248 N. 100 East #3 in St. George, Utah. For more information, visit Southern Utah Pride at myspace.com/southernutah or groups.yahoo.com/group/southernutahprideatzion. Christ McArdle can also be reached at 435-669-0760. A website for the event will be available soon.

Fabulous People Light Up Your Life Gay business owner brings past beauty to Utah’s future

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“dead ringer”,” he explains. But each reproduction is made to Twarowski’s exacting, “perfectionist” standards. Frequently, Twarowski works side-byside with his partner Michael Decker, a mechanical engineer and “jack of all trades” with an interest in antiques that matches Twarowski’s, and in whose skill Trawowski has full confidence. “The first time I was in his apartment, I saw all these pictures of old street scenes. I knew I was in the right place,” Twarowski laughs. Sadly, Retrospect wasn’t in the right place two months ago when a driver lost control of his vehicle and crashed it through the business’ east wall. The accident demolished one-third of the store and forced Twarowski to close his doors for repairs at the start of the busiest season for home renovations. The loss, he says, has been devastating both personally and financially. “It won’t ever be the same for me. It was hard to even open the first time,” he

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“I think everything from the old days is superior to anything modern.” That’s the creed by which Tracey Twarowski lives each day. And as the owner of the State Street business Retrospect Water and Light, he certainly gets to see a lot of things from the old days: antique and reproduction light and plumbing fixtures from 1850 to 1950 to be exact. It’s one of his favorite periods in design history. “Everything had style, everything was well-made and built to last 200 years. Now they are built to last 20, and we call that good,” says Twarowski, 50. Twarowski was quite literally born into this line of work. His mother, an antique dealer, taught him to appreciate the beauty of the past from an early age. As a young man in Berkley, Calif., he also worked as a clerk in a shop that specialized in the kinds of restorations and reproductions he does now. He also owned and restored two houses at different times, the Some of the variety of reproduction lighting and plumbing fixtures at Retrospect (above). first an 1885 Victorian The SUV that went through the east wall of home in East Oakland the business this winter (right). and the second a 1915 craftsman cottage in North Berkeley — not says, explaining that it took him three to “flip” them for profit, either. years to find a good location and a lot “I thought each of my first two houses of red tape for a city that “does nothing was my forever after house,” he says. to help small businesses.” He thought But as time passed, Twarowski says the found himself growing restless. “I of closing up shop and selling the old storefront to developers, who wanted to was getting to an age where I had to do demolish it to build a car wash. But the something for myself,” he explains. “I thought of losing the beautiful architecwas forty then, and I decided I couldn’t ture saddened him. spend my life as a business clerk.” And there were the customers who At the time, Twarowski was in a longbegged him not to leave. distance relationship with an airline “I have the greatest customers in worker from Utah. He got to know the the world,” he says. “I have developed Beehive State on several trips to see his friendships with them — it’s like social partner and liked what he saw. Eventuhour in here for me.” And how could he ally, he decided it would be easier for leave his friends? both of them if he moved to Utah. Even In spite of the rubble and the insurance though the relationship ultimately checks that never seem to cover all the didn’t work out, Twarowski’s place in losses, Twarowski hopes he will be able Utah did. After all, he says he wasn’t to reopen his nine-year-old business in leaving anything behind business-wise. the next two or three weeks. After all, his “The West Coast is filled up for my customers need him, and there are still kind of business,” he says. “So I had beautiful houses in need of restoration. to look for a more “primitive” climate. “[The interest in restoring old houses] When I came here [in 1995], the interest had only been going for about 10 years in restoring old houses was just beginwhen I first came to Salt Lake. I think ning.” When Retrospect first opened its now it’s hitting a high point with these doors in 1998, it was — and still is— “the young professionals coming in and wantonly game in town” for people looking to ing to reclaim the grandeur of the past in renovate their lovely old houses. areas like Sugarhouse,” he says. At his store, Twarowski not only That, and he just loves what he does restores antique lighting and plumbing too much to quit. fixtures, he also sells his own reproduc“I like what I do,” he says simply. “I tions, which he bases as closely as posthink that’s important in life.” sible from period antique catalogues.

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Opinion

Guest Editorial Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Ensures Lopsided Debate BY Glenn A. LeCarl

galecarl@earthlink.net

While the furor over the anti-gay remarks by General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has subsided, a fundamental injustice of the military policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which he clumsily exposed, remains in full force. It is one of the most troubling aspects of DADT the oppressive silence it enforces upon all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender service members. Perhaps that is what makes Gen. Pace s remarks especially outrageous. His personal ignorance and prejudice, though unbecoming the leader of our increasingly diverse military, are not so much at issue as is the fact that he could express his views and those he slurred cannot. In his now infamous interview with the editorial board of the Chicago Tribune, Gen. Pace said: “I believe that homosexual acts between individuals are immoral,” and linked an LGBT iden-

tity with the act of adultery. He went on to say that “I do not believe that the armed forces of the United States are well served by saying through our policies that it s okay to be immoral in any way.” Presumably the General does not exclude bigotry from his personal moral code. Though insulting tens of thousands of service members under his command, many of whom are combat veterans of the current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, he has refused to apologize. He offered only vague regret and the acknowledgment that in the interview he should have focused “less on my personal moral views.” Being subject to such indignities, however, is nothing new for LGBT service members. Aside from the additional sacrifices uniquely required of them and their families, they must listen in silence daily while their service and humanity is officially debated and, by some like Gen. Pace, dismissed. In the post-civil rights era, no other service members can be similarly demeaned. And only LGBT service members are explicitly restricted in their freedom of speech by official military policy (DADT) beyond the normal and expected limitations required of military service. The responses to a column I wrote

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Letters Tell the Stories Editor, I’d like to respond to Ryan Shattuck’s column in which he mentioned both The Alienation Effekt and Facing East [“Masochism Shouldn’t Hurt,” April 16, 2007]. The Alienation Effekt was written about the gay school clubs controversy when it first reared its ugly head in 1996. We revived it this year for a 10th anniversary production because, as illustrated by the recent passage of HB236, the issue is far from resolved. It is important to remember that one of the students instrumental in the formation of the first East High School GSA did, indeed, commit suicide. And sadly, as we were preparing to produce Facing East, the son of a dear friend of playwright Carol Lynn Pearson committed suicide — a gay, former Mormon who’d been in a committed relationship for 10 years and still struggled to reconcile his faith and his sexuality. Not everyone’s journey is the same. I’m tired of these stories too, but it’s only in telling them that we can hope for the Navy Times last year illustrate the disparity. I called upon the U.S. Naval Academy Alumni Association the foremost organization of future, current and former navy and marine officers to halt its obstruction of an LGBT alumni group, USNA OUT. With support for the repeal of DADT steadily growing among the public, former Dept. of Defense officials, within the ranks and Congress, I argued that the alumni association must provide an example of positive leadership on the integration of out LGBT members for the future welfare of the Navy. Privately, via email, a number of navy personnel wrote in support; publicly, in a letter to the editor at the Navy Times, one sailor wrote to condemn my views. Like Gen. Pace, he was free to speak his mind. Any LGBT sailor or marine who openly expressed support would have instead faced involuntary discharge. It is only because I am no longer in uniform that as a gay man I can challenge homophobic rhetoric and bias. I can express my views regarding DADT too: that it unfairly discriminates against LGBT service members, degrades the strength and readiness of our armed forces, and stains our nation s ideal of freedom and equality. But no matter what I say or how well I might hope to say it, my words are totally inadequate. Those we need to hear from, those who are the subject of this policy, cannot share their views or their stories or their families. They are shut out of the debate and must await justice. So in the meantime it falls to us, their allies in the LGBT and straight communities, to bring a semblance of balance to this debate. Glenn A. LeCarl is a life-member of the Naval Academy Alumni Association and Disabled American Veterans, and was a founding member of USNA OUT.

to stop them. Jerry Rapier Producing Director Plan-B Theatre

Constitution Clear Editor, I don’t understand what the argument is about which states will or will not honor same-sex unions. The following, taken directly from the Constitution of the United States, seems to make it pretty clear that states that would like not to honor them have no choice. Article. IV. Section. 1. Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof. Section. 2. The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. If there is any valid argument, it seems the final decision must be made by Congress. John Wilkes Salt Lake City

Gay Kids ‘Throwaways’ Editor, Because it is so typical of our attitudes, the attack on gays and lesbians by the Bountiful PTA once again illuminates the sad state of our Utah culture. It’s a culture that considers our gay and lesbian children “throwaways.” They are to be shunned, shamed and secluded, including their suicides. Of the Bountiful PTA one can only shake one’s head in dismay and say, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do. They surely don’t intend or understand the hurt they cause.” How long will it take for us to know better? How long must our gay children suffer? When will our leaders lead? Joe Watts Murray

QSaltLake’s Wonderful Readings Editor, I’ve received a sample copy of QSaltLake and thoroughly enjoyed reading and rereading it. All of the journalists provide very engaging writing. Thought-provoking, well-balanced, interesting articles are all very well-written and a very refreshing change from the whiny and snippy Northeast gay publications with which I am familiar. (PGN is the sole exception.) I’m sending a check to subscribe for a year’s issues of a compilation of wonderful readings. All my best wishes to you for your endeavors. Antony M. Socci Needham, Mass.

QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Please email a letter less than 300 words to letters@qsaltlake.com. Letters, if published, may be edited for length or appropriateness.

Guest Editorial Why Do Nice Boys Massacre Their Peers? By Antonio A. Feliz

I just finished reading American Massacre: The Tragedy at Mountain Meadows 1857 by Sally Denton, published in 2003. I recommend it, as well as the new film on which its based, September Dawn, scheduled for release in May 2007. The Virginia Tech incident is only the latest example of our civilization’s pathology. Why? Because: 1. We human beings are mimics, first and foremost. We evolve in our personal humanness by mimicking the modeling of our mentors. Most often, these mentors are our parents and our siblings. We even see this mimicking in our physical gestation — we mimic other species while in our mothers’ womb before we evolve into either male or female humans. In our evolutionary nature, we are no different than the monkeys of the 1940s experiments with that species in the South Pacific. Test this by noticing that we

Queer Gnosis Cosmo­ genesis Part 2 by Troy Williams troy@qsaltlake.com

Barbara Marx Hubbard is a 77-year-old “elder from the future.� In part one she described where humans fit into 14 billion years of quantum evolution. Hubbard believes that Homo sapiens are preparing to take the next monumental jump to a new species capable of co-evolving with nature and co-creating with the great mind of the cosmos: Homo universalis.

Troy WILLIAMS: This is difficult for a lot of people to imagine — as it would be if we were Australopithecus looking toward Homo habilus, or toward Homo erectus — to be able to envision that jump from each state seems improbable.

TW: Well, I would hope so! You call that a Universal Human. BMH: Yes. We are becoming a more universal human, and we are creating a more universal humanity. I mean that really simply. The first step of becoming a universal human is very personal. You begin to shift your internal identity from a local, egoic personality — seeking something higher — to incarnating your own higher self as who you are. It’s a shift of identity from the separated human to the human incarnating essence. Once you do that, you are being born as a

opened themselves to the probability of death, rather than to make war. Thus, this community celebrates a hero who goes to war on behalf of their oppressed more than a hero who leads us all into peace by example (Jesus is the world’s best known master of peace, but our most recent examples of non-violence are Gandhi, the Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King, Jr.). But, those who wrote the record of the holy ones focused on fear more than non-violence. We are violent because violence has been our model; the model began with the reciting of stories of Moses’, Paul’s and Mohammed’s God [Numbers, Chapter 31] irrespective of God’s infinite mercy and compassion. 4. We learned this behavior as we sat in our most impressionable and developing time of life; in nearly hypnotic states of mind, it was always in the same place that had its own smells, its own colors, its own clothes; it was our, respective, places of worship. This imprinting is the only model some mimics can see. We must first acknowledge all these facts before we can change the behavior of some of us who have been bullied, oppressed and unjustly treated. Then, we will be less myopic — enabled to mimic our Creator’s actual mercy and compassion.

Universal Human. And then you have to move out and socialize and you begin to resonate. You begin to learn co-creation. The next big step in the emergence of the Universal Human is the development of life purpose. And when I say life purpose I don’t just mean a job or profession. I mean a calling. And it seems to me, from everything that I’ve heard you say, Troy, you have a calling.

expression of one’s own self drives you to self-expression, which drives you to find others in co-creation, and starts to excite you through vocational arousal. The way your body can evolve itself is through your creative self-expression.

TW: I’m fired up. BMH: You are! Now, where did that come from? TW: Yeah, I’ve been wondering that. When I was a kid I was really into X-Men comics, which are mutant superheroes who are the next stage of human evolution. As I got older I thought that was just because I was gay! But the more I’m reading your work and looking around and seeing everything in stages of collapse — my soul is saying we’ve got to move now, we’ve got to raise awareness. It’s inborn and it’s present. BMH: It’s inborn. Now, here is how I would interpret what you just said: You are a young Universal Human. The impulse of your vocation, your calling, your excitement, is the impulse of evolution itself localized as you. And as you begin to find life purpose, you begin to pick up the pattern of evolution as your own contribution. So you’re not standing outside evolution talking about it — you are evolution. And the more you say “yes� to your life purpose, the more creativity you unlock. TW: Before I worked in radio I was a real estate appraiser, and I felt like I was dying with every house I walked into. But then when I tapped into what I was all about, then I had joy and fulfillment in the vocation of my choice. BMH: As you find your life purpose, and you are motivated from within, you reach out to express yourself more fully. And to do that you have to find teammates because you can’t do it alone — and whether you are gay or straight it doesn’t really matter. I call this “suprasex.� Sexuality gets us to join genes to have babies. Suprasex is the rise up of creativity that gets us to join our genius. The innate

TW: What’s been happening to our culture since the atom bomb dropped? BMW: There were amazing things that happened in the ’50s. The discovery of the genetic code through Crick and Watson, the development of computers, the development of contraception so that women had rights over their own bodies. In the ’60s we had the great Apollo, and we became extraterrestrial ourselves, and we looked back on the earth and fell in love with our planetary body. The environmental movement woke up and the women woke up. We started to see that we needed an identity of equality. Because women had been repressed for 5000 years. And then there was the human potential movement. There was a huge opening of consciousness. And just to speed up now — the crises of the environment began to accelerate. And the crises of ethnic rivalries and WMDs and species extinctions. Threats to the actual survival to our life support systems began to accumulate as we entered into the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and 2000s — until there are people saying, I don’t think our species can make it. Now, I look at this potentially as a crisis of the birth of the Universal Species. We are one fraction of an evolutionary second away from destruction or a quantum jump. And I think the key right now is the increased connectivity of that which is creative.

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TW: What needs to happen now? BMH: Say yes to that essence. Find your teammates and begin the process of cocreation. Put yourself into that 14 billionyear story of miraculous unfolding of ever greater consciousness so that if you get depressed or discouraged, you can go within to that source of creation and realize that it’s evolving as You now. Stream the entire interview on RadioActive at krcl.org. RadioActive airs weekdays from noon to 1pm on KRCL, 90.9 FM. Also check out barbaramarxhubbard.com.

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Barbara MARX HUBBARD: The great advantage is that we can look back. We can see the amazing miracle of life always evolving beyond its own limits. And as Teilhard de Chardin said, “when systems jump to more complexity they jump in consciousness and freedom� — as from single cells, to animals, to human, to Buddha and Christ and so on. I call myself a potentialist, not an optimist. There is no doubt in my mind that I am evolving. I have no doubt, Troy, that you are a little bit more evolved then when we got started.

each are not only mimics, but when any innovative behavior is acted out by us, someone will mimic our trend-setting — be it in how we dress or how we speak. 2. This mimicking has its roots deep in the recesses of our mass consciousness. I refer to the human mass mind composed from the cultures from which modern civilization sprang — including the three traditions which, came from ancient, Abraham: Judaism, Islam and Christianity. What is significant about this is the Source which has been the model of our behavior from that nativity is the record’s God — the record of Moses, St. Paul and Mohammed. This First Model of human mimicking is in those sacred stories as a god of vengeance and retribution. Our mimicking nature and sacred stories are our key problems. 3. “Nice boysâ€? are usually from Godfearing homes so they myopically mimic the modeling of the fearful stories. They celebrate the hero — the one who wields â€œâ€Śthe sword of justice in defense of truth and virtueâ€? over others. For example: Those raised in Latter-day Saint homes are far more familiar with their sacred story from their Book of Mormon which, extols the goodness of General Moroni more than the same book’s characters who “laid down their weaponsâ€? and

16  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 7 7  M AY 1, 2 0 0 7

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Before getting into this week’s column, I want to congratulate all those who won QSaltLake’s ‘Utah’s Most Fa-a-abulous Readers’ Choice Awards,’ as published in the last issue of QSaltLake. I also want to thank all of you who voted for me for ‘Best Columnist.’ I’ll do my best from invoking 1985 Sally Field, but nevertheless it is flattering to know that you like me. You. Really. Like me. I have to admit that winning QSaltLake’s Readers’ Choice award for ‘Best Columnist’ is slightly unnerving, knowing there are many, many other columnists much more qualified than I am. I think I now understand what it must feel like to receive a slightly illegal, unusually large tax refund. Or to win re-election in the 2004 Presidential Elections. We now return you to our regularly scheduled ‘Bull of Shattuck’ column. I realize by the time you read this, the “Don Imus: Is He or Isn’t He Racist Scandal” will be older news than a Terri Schiavo joke. (Speaking of which, did you know that if Mama Cass had shared half her ham sandwich with Terri Schiavo, they would both still be alive today?) Nevertheless, it was a relatively big enough news story — in a relatively small news cycle — that the aftermath has lingered, much like career-less Alan Thicke at auditions for The Surreal Life. The “Don Imus: Is He or Isn’t He Racist Scandal” sparked a national conversation on what is and isn’t appropriate — a national conversation fueled by the consequences that followed. For those of you who live under a rock — or in Provo — and don’t follow the news, in early April, Don Imus referred to the Rutgers University women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hos.” This racist comment caused outrage that eventually led to Imus being fired from both his radio and television shows. Is this racist comment part of a trend? As a recent Time article points out, consider Michael Richard’s comments about “niggers,” Isaiah Washington’s comments about “faggots,” Senator George Allen’s comments about “macacas,” Mel Gibson’s comments about “fucking Jews” and my comments exposing “the novelist J.D. Robb as the nom de plume of Nora Roberts.” If I were African American, homosexual, Jewish or Nora Roberts, I would be quite offended. And not just because a Nora Roberts novel is as interesting as any movie with the word Barbarella in the title. What, exactly, does freedom of speech entail, and what is a person allowed to publicly say? Two of my current favorite shows are the bowdlerized Penn & Teller: Bulls*** and Real Time with Bill Maher. (My third favorite show is actually American Idol, in case you were beginning to think I’m as pretentious as, oh I don’t know, a Toyota Prius.) While I find both shows to be incredibly entertaining and relatively informative, they both generate comedy at the expense of others; demeaning people and calling

them names is one of the primary ways in which they both make their point. Sometimes, it appears as though the fine line between comedy shows ridiculing religion and politics and “news programs” ridiculing religion and politics is thinner than the Olsen twins before swimsuit season. While Don Imus was fired for making racial comments, it appears that offensive slurs against gay men and women are still allowable, and even trendy. In July 2006 Ann Coulter referred to Al Gore as a “total fag,” then in March 2007 she said, “I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot.’” While the media-hungry polemicist was dropped by only four newspapers, her offensive slur only helped to put her back into the limelight. Adding insult to injury, not only did she refuse to apologize, she instead commented on Hannity & Colmes that, “the word faggot isn’t offensive to gays ... it has nothing to do with gays.” Which certainly makes sense. In using the word “faggot,” Ann Coulter was no doubt referring to “faggot,” a British pork meatball. Or “faggot,” an archaic unit of measurement for bundles of sticks. Or “faggot,” the novel by Larry Kramer. Or “faggot,” the Australian term for cigarette. Or “faggot,” another name for the bassoon in several languages. Or “faggot,” the NATO reporting name for the Mikoyan-Gurevich MiG-15 airplane. Which would explain why, while I walk down the road, cars full of men much more masculine than I could ever hope to be, drive past me and yell, “Faggot!” With my effeminate walk and queer manner, I no doubt remind them of the NATO reporting name for the MikoyanGurevich MiG-15 airplane. The current culture in which we live allows writers, politicians, comedians, pundits and similar people to use derogatory terms and offensive slurs as a source of comedy, information and attention. Perhaps as a gay community, we should demand we no longer allow ourselves to be used as a punch line. If Don Imus, a respected radio and television show host who was once named by Time Magazine as one of the 25 most influential people in America, was fired for calling a basketball team “nappyheaded hos,” then people such as Ann Coulter and Isaiah Washington should not be able to get away with calling anyone “faggot.” Should Ann Coulter or any other pundit use such offensive slang, we should be vocal in saying that we are just as offended as the Rutgers University women’s basketball team was by Don Imus. It’s not whining or forcing the whole world to be politically correct; it’s simply demanding respect. If, however, we wish to be respected, we also need to curb the barbs we throw at others. I should start by apologizing to Sally Field, Tax Refunds, President Bush, Don Imus, Mama Cass, Terri Schiavo, Alan Thicke, Provo, Nora Roberts, Barbarella, American Idol, Toyota Prius, the Olsen twins, Ann Coulter, and NATO reporting names, for hypocritically making fun of them. I can almost guarantee I won’t make fun of them again. Unless they call me an archaic unit of measurement for bundles of sticks. Then I’ll be offended. Ryan Shattuck is a freelance writer, University of Utah student and a British pork meatball.

Laurie Mecham Dear John by Laurie Mecham laurie@qsaltlake.com

Dear QSaltLake, I was trolling the net, and I ran across a site that has Dear John letters to LDS missionaries. They are apparently genuine. Wow. I’ve pasted some lines below.

Ashlee, I will always treasure the moments we spent together, and I know we will have many more of those moments in the future, considering that I’m marrying your sister Emily in two weeks!

He ends this by saying, “I hope we can still be really good friends, otherwise Emily would feel bad. Anyways, have a great day!” This is what will happen: Ashlee will end up forgiving her sister, but she will always think that Emily married a dick.

I didn’t know how to break this to you, so I decided to write you a poem: For weeks tears flowed and I sighed many sighs Until a knight came to my rescue wearing a dress shirt and necktie He is an RM, what more could be better He is also the reason why I am sending you this letter

be easier on both of us. You insisted that we give the long-distance thing a go. We did, and it worked, sort of — for a while. I know I should probably have told you sooner. The point is, I have changed, and I think it’s time to get honest about that. I never wanted to hurt you. I know that I’ve let you down sometimes. I’ve missed deadlines and there have been a lot of times, more and more lately, when I’ve skipped an issue. But you can’t say that I haven’t tried. You don’t know how it’s been for me, because you haven’t gone through the same changes. I moved here without knowing a soul. You still have all of our friends — you see them all over town. (C’mon, I know you get picked up all the time. I don’t resent it. I think you’re hot!) But it’s hard for me to keep in touch with people, except through you. It isn’t anything you’ve done, honestly. It’s me. I just need something different. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I have new friends. A few, anyway. I’ve tried to help you all get acquainted, but you make it hard, Q. You changed your online access to some freaky kind of .pdf file and it makes you … inaccessible. I can’t say, “check out this link, you’ll see why I adore Q!” because the html archives are a thing of the past. My new friends are great, and I think they would really like you, but people just don’t want to try that hard. I want you to know that there is no other paper. Not that there aren’t alternative papers here, there are plenty, but I’ve been faithful. If we make a clean break now, neither of us needs to feel bad about what happens in the future. I have no doubt that you’ll continue to mark the notches as you “acquire” new writers. It’s possible that I will hook up with another paper, but that’s not where my focus is right now. And maybe, after a little time has passed for both of us, we’ll connect sometime. If we both want to, that is. So, I guess this is it, for now. I have no regrets. I’m still so glad that you called me that day. I’ll always care about you and be proud of you, and proud that we were together. Unless you turn into some trashy, two-color newsprint, that is ;-)

My new friends are great, and I think they would really like you, but people just don’t want to try that hard.

So, it’s not bad enough that I’m sending you a Dear John letter while you are in the middle of two years of missionary work and celibacy, but I’ve also written this puke-tastic cheese curd of a “poem” about all of the special feelings that I am having and you are not, in which I actually rhyme “cultural hall” with “disco ball.” That right there should be enough to keep this girl out of the Celestial Kingdom.

Before moving to Portland, Ore., Laurie Mecham lived in Salt Lake City for nearly three decades. She was a columnist for Salt Lake Metro and QSaltLake since their respective inceptions.

QSaltLake wishes to thank Laurie Mecham for being one of our first writers to sign on and for three great years of writing. Good luck in Portland and if you get tired of the rain and drizzle, come back and see us.

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M AY 1, 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 7 7    Q S A LT L A K E    17

Anyway, I thought you’d get a kick out of those. So, do you realize we’ve been together for over three years now? I remember when you first called me, I was stunned. You were so — cosmopolitan, I guess. I didn’t know what you saw in me, and I wasn’t sure what I would find in you. And look what happened! I think that in some ways it has been even better than what we imagined back then. I hope you realize how special this has been to me. I have done things with you that I’d never done before (blush). It’s been awhile since I wrote. Sorry, I’ve been really busy. I have a new position at work that is exciting, but also very demanding. Anyway, you’re probably wondering what all of this is leading up to. Or maybe you know. This is really hard for me to write. Q, we need to talk about our long-distance relationship. It’s been more than a year and a half since I moved to Portland. (Time flies when your life is in chaos, eh?) Remember that when I told you that I would be moving, I suggested that we break up? I figured a clean break, as painful as it would be, would ultimately

y o B r e v Co t s e t n o C y a d r u t sa may 12

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a

celebration for everyone

David Samsel Only the Lonely by David Samsel david@qsaltlake.com

Utah Pride Festival 2007

1-3 June Washington & Library Squares

Utah Pride is the largest Queer event in Utah, with over 20,000 people per day in downtown Salt Lake City celebrating what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, Transgender or allied.

Pride Film Festival Grand Marshal Reception Pride Interfaith Service Dyke March Pride Dance Pride Parade

Grand Marshal John Amaechi

3

Pride Festival Days

with entertainment by

Sheena Easton En Vogue and

Calling all volunteers! You take Pride in your job, in your friends and in your family. NOW it’s time to take PRIDE in your community. We need your help, and in many ways. Visit www.utahpride.org and enlist your assistance to your community right away. You’ll meet new friends and have a great time sharing your Pride. Calling all EXHIBITORS/FOOD VENDORS .. we need good taste in exhibitors, and a variety of great culinary treats that taste good too! “This year’s “Taste of Pride” food vendors area needs local caterers and restaurants to sell their faires. Visit www.utahpride.org for info regarding an opportunity to sell your tasty delights and valuable goods to, literally, thousands.

www.utahpride.org to get involved or find out more information about this year’s pride, visit

All alone I didn’t like the feeling, All alone I sat and cried, All alone I had to find some meaning; In the center of the pain I felt inside. —“Sand and Water” by Beth Neilsen Chapman I feel that loneliness is an important part of life and personal growth. I know that the loneliness I have felt in my life has left me with no other option than to “find some meaning in the center of the pain I felt inside.” There is meaning in the pain we feel. In my nursing classes, they teach us that pain is an indicator that something is wrong. We’ve been taught that “pain is whatever the patient says it is, and exists whenever the patient says it does.” I think it’s wrong to dismiss or belittle your own or someone else’s pain. In my own life, I try not to ignore my pain. I’ve tried to look at it closely, to see exactly where it hurts, why it hurts, and what really made it hurt. It’s only in doing this that I’ve known how to treat my pain; whether to cradle it until it eases or whether to run it off on a treadmill. There are so many lonely people in this world. I’ve encountered a lot of loneliness in the gay community. Sometimes the loneliest people are the ones who appear to have the most friends. Realize that people can still be strangers to you even if you know their names, even if you see them every day of your life. Loneliness is something every human being experiences. It’s an emotion that could unite us all, except for the fact we so quickly forget what it feels like as soon as it passes. It’s hard to relate to someone living under the crushing feeling of being alone when you aren’t feeling that same thing yourself. I think it’s a gracious thing that human beings so quickly forget the details of pain and suffering, but sometimes I wish people could relate just a little better to those on a downswing in life. When loneliness and pain set in, people panic, they try to run from it. This running takes on different forms. Sometimes the person latches onto a new boyfriend rather than losing the familiarity and comfort of such a relationship in their life. Some people try to lose their pain and loneliness by moving from where they’ve felt

it so often. Others try to cover their pain and loneliness in ice cream and potato chips. A few even compromise who they are inside and what they want in life in order to fit into a group ... any group that will take them. But you can’t run from something inside you. And the only person or thing in this world that has the capability to complete and comfort you on the inside is you. True loneliness, lasting loneliness is not being comfortable with yourself. I dated a man who always had to be in a relationship. So much so that before one relationship had ended he would begin a new one. In my view, this is the worst kind of loneliness, the kind where you can’t even stand independently happy. This man’s loneliness and the actions that came from it caused me incredible personal pain. But I believe it’s hindered his life in a much greater way. Three months ago, I began swimming with Queer Utah Aquatics Club or QUAC as they are more commonly known. The first time I went to a swim practice I went alone. I was overwhelmed with how friendly everyone was. Standing there in my Speedo I didn’t feel judged at all — my friend Sutton assures me that I was being judged, but I didn’t feel that judgment. All I felt was an overwhelmingly friendly welcome. I would like to suggest to you that maybe there is a person within your realm of existence who could benefit from a friendly outstretched hand. I would also like to point out if you do reach out to someone and they don’t accept your invitation of friendship and inclusion, that does not lessen the value of what you offered. Sometimes a person just needs to know they were invited to the party, even though they may not be in a place where they can actually accept such an invitation. Now, to put my money where my column is: If you have ever wanted to learn to swim, or to be a better swimmer, or if you just want to meet some fun new people, then I would invite you to swim with QUAC. The details are on their website: quacquac.org. I have an email address attached to this column. And if you would like to try QUAC out and don’t want to go alone, then drop me a line and I will be happy to meet up with you beforehand and then get you headed in the right direction at practice. Loneliness is a universal human experience, but remember it is always temporary. Next time you feel it, acknowledge it, learn from it, and be better for it. But maybe more importantly, try and keep in mind there are people who feel much more alone than you do. Look for them. Q

Sometimes a person just needs to know they were invited to the party, even though they may not be in a place where they can actually accept such an invitation.

a

celebration for everyone Utah Pride Festival 2007

1-3 June

Washington & Library Squares

Utah Pride is the largest Queer event in Utah, with over 20,000 people per day in downtown Salt Lake City celebrating what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, Transgender or allied.

Pride Film Festival Grand Marshal Reception Pride Interfaith Service Dyke March Pride Dance Pride Parade

Sheena Easton and En Vogue to get involved or find out more information about this year’s pride, visit

www.utahpride.org

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3 Pride Festival Days with entertainment by

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Q Scene Our photographers snapped away as QSaltLake staffers and friends went to My Girlfriend’s Kitchen and made enchiladas, at our Dirty Rotten Scoundrels night at Try-Angles, complete with limbo contest, at the Salt Lake Men’s Choir concert and after-party in St. George, at the Mountain West Football League’s practice and at Queer Prom. Whew!

In Search Of... Words, Wisdom and Time by Chad Keller and Mark Thrash insearchof@qsaltlake.com

Did you see those Fabby’s last month? What in gay hell? There are some winners that would make Harvey Milk roll over in his grave. Guess it is a sign of a growing community that reaches beyond the stereotypical boundaries society expects. Speaking of expectations, we were aghast to finish second in the category for “Best Columnist.” CHAD: Okay, so we pissed some fucking people off. As you all know, I’m not above some ass-kissing. So, just name the time and place, and I’ll bring the Clorox disinfectant wipes.

to be a faithful servant to our community, I must admit that I’ve found myself cursing the free time I have spent in preparations for the 28th Annual Golden Spike Awards. This is my final official duty as a monarch of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, but I know that my true work for the betterment of the organization will never be done.

Visit 30 of Salt Lake City’s finest restaurants and choose a three course dinner for either $15 or $25. DowntownSalt Lake City

CHAD: It all started with the demise of our adopted pet. Then add the biggest finals I’ve had in my whole life. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I was summoned to Idaho for my grandmother’s funeral. Now, I’m more than happy to put words into print and verbalize my full thoughts for this installment — I just want to avoid the repercussions of another “New Years Eve” installment. A good friend of mine, the late Tom Geddes, once asked me, “God, girl … do you ever shut up?” In his tribute, I’ll choose restraint for this issue.

Restaurant Week

May 4-19

NEW SPRING DINE O’ ROUND ADDS LUNCH TO THE MENU! Some participating restaurants offer a lunch special of two delicious courses for only $10 per person.

For information: 359-5118 www.dineoround.com

MARK: Stay tuned. Next issue is our oneyear anniversary writing for QSaltLake.

MARK: Despite our ranking as columnist, I was elated to see my employer win the category for “Best Gym.” I had suspected

A good friend of mine, the late Tom Geddes, once asked me, “God, girl … do you ever shut up?” that the popularity of the sex-infested sauna at 24-Hour Fitness in Sugarhouse would cause it to take top honors. I guess that means the rumors aren’t true, or the 24-Hour gays aren’t willing to publicly share their lurking grounds.

MARK: Yes, even I find myself at a loss for words at times. It doesn’t happen often. So, save this edition and mark your calendars for in this case, history will not repeat itself. Although I’ve always tried

-The New York Times

“Edgy, urban and hip”

“A surreal, delirious delight”

-Toronto Star

-The Boston Globe

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The E Center/Saturday & Sunday/May 19 & 20 For information, clips or to purchase tickets, visit cirquedusoleil.com TICKETS ALSO AVAILABLE AT or charge by phone 467-TIXX or 1-800-888-TIXX Official Sponsor: CD ON SALE NOW! Citi, Citibank and Citi with Arc Design are registered servicemarks of Citigroup Inc. AmericanAirlines and AAdvantage and Scissor Eagle Design are registered trademarks of American Airlines, Inc.

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CHAD: I want to know what is up with all of you voting for R.C. Willey for “Best Furniture.” I mean, I know that when we’re on a budget, they’ll often times extend credit, but what about Campo, Pier 1 or the soon-to-open IKEA in the south end of the valley? Are we not paying attention, or are we too afraid to travel that close to the point of the mountain? No matter where you finished in the rankings, congratulations to all of the recognized recipients. As someone once said, “Even if they’re saying bad things about you, at least you haven’t been forgotten.” Due to recent circumstances in both of our lives, this installment of our column will unfortunately be shorter than others. Although we always attempt to bring you timely banter, it seems that time has crept upon both of us like that hangover at 7:00 a.m. Sunday morning. We apologize to our faithful readers. Please forgive us for the lack of extended content. Don’t worry … we’ll make up for it next month. Maybe our editor will gives us 1500 words next issue if we promise to meet our deadline. [Editor: Don’t count on it.]

“Enveloping, hallucinatory splendor”

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Free At Last By William Simmons

I’ve read about physically abusive relationships in magazines and books, or seen them portrayed in movies or television. I don’t really remember ever reading or seeing anything on emotionally abusive relationships. I hope by telling my story there will be at least one out there, and that anyone who might be in a similar situation will read this and get the courage to get out.

J

anuary two years ago, I responded to a blank profile on XY.com. I thought I’d end up meeting an interesting person, but instead I ended up losing two years and my sense of self. Duncan (his name has been changed) lived in Provo, and before our first meeting, we talked all the time online and on the phone; we immediately hit it off. He drove up to see me when we finally got together and we went for coffee and walked around the mall, talking. Then we headed to a local park and ended up making out. That’s where things got complicated. He told me he had a boyfriend he was living with, but they were having “issues.” Duncan wanted to be friends and hang out, I told him I needed to think about it. After a couple days, he was able to convince me to spend the weekend with his boyfriend and him, and they came up and got me. He also convinced me that weekend to have a threesome with them. Those were the first two incidents where he was able to manipulate me into doing something he wanted. They were also the beginning of the conditioning. Next, he gave me a new name under the guise of a nickname, thus taking away my identity. From that point on I was only referred to by that nickname. Things continued to progress, the threesomes continued and I was driving down there at least once a

week, then every weekend. A couple months later, the threesomes stopped and Duncan and I were having sex behind his boyfriend’s back. Eventually, his boyfriend moved out, though Duncan still considered them “together.” There were a lot of good times. Duncan and I had this unshakable connection where we were able to talk about life and we understood each other, despite his pessimistic outlook a lot of the time. There were those times he treated me really nice, really sweet and made me feel wanted and loved. We’d lie in bed some mornings and just talk for an hour before getting up, and when we’d go to bed, he’d sometimes hold me in his arms before falling asleep. That’s my weakness. My desire to be loved was his “in” to getting me to do things for him. I knew as long as I kept doing what he told me, he’d be in my life, that I’d have someone in my life. That’s when I truly became “his” and the emotional abuse really started. He liked to bite hard during foreplay and sex, and whenever I flinched or tried to stop him he’d tell me I’d learn to like it, and it was for my own good. He always left marks or bruises with them, “brands” as he liked to call them. Sex with him was always about his pleasure, never about mine. He loved to pull hard on my hair and tug on my arm or leg hairs. It was his way of showing and remind-

ing me who was “boss.” Duncan was a shut-in, and after his boyfriend moved out I was made to do the “boyfriend-ly” duties. His car “didn’t work” so I had to take his debit card and get him food or groceries or whatever “task” he came up for me to do. I was never allowed to run any errands for myself while I was down there unless given permission, which he rarely ever gave. I even had to wait until he was hungry before I could get food for myself. He would take my cell phone away so I couldn’t text message my friends, even going so far as to physically wrestle the phone away from me if I resisted giving it up. I couldn’t even talk to friends online without him getting jealous and turning my monitor off, saying my computer time was up. Despite all this, I still couldn’t see that he was treating me bad. I was too under his control to see clearly. I kept thinking that he and his boyfriend would break up and we would become a couple. They didn’t break up though and Duncan continued to see and sleep with him. I finally started getting fed up and was ready to end things, and I did. In December of our first year I decided to try to end the sexual part of our relationship. I didn’t want to break off our friendship because I still wanted him in my life. He got pissed when I told him and said he thought I had met someone else and told me to “fuck off.” I thought that was the end of us. I was upset, but secretly relieved as well. Three weeks later though he instant messaged me online at four in the morning. He all-too-easily was able to get back into my head and I ended up going down there for New Years Eve. We ended up having sex and I was back under his control, just like that. At that time I was working for Quiznos and I had to ask for weekends off so we’d have two whole days together. Two whole days that I could get him food, massage his shoulders and attend to his sexual needs or anything else he came up with for me to do. He would sometimes withhold sex if I was “bad,” something he decided himself even if I hadn’t really done anything wrong. He’d say I had misbehaved and that I wasn’t worthy of being rewarded. Sex only happened when he wanted it, whether I really wanted to or not. His control over me continued to worsen. If I happened to miss an airing of Grey’s Anatomy or Veronica Mars because I was with him, he wouldn’t let me watch the episodes when they were posted online. If I was caught watching them, he’d make me turn them off. He constantly put me down for the shows I watched and the music I listened to. He always reminded me of how it was “his time” while I was down there, and “about his needs,” not my own. I ended up missing the wedding of

had to just sit and watch while he devoted all of his attention to the game and his online game “friends.” Finally, towards the end of February of this year, I somehow got the courage to end things. It happened on one of my days off from work. I had planned to run some errands and relax that day. He called and I didn’t answer. I started shaking. I’d never ignored his calls before. The play was now in motion and I was FREAKING out. I ended up driving to work to talk with my boss and his wife. I was sobbing the whole drive. They reassured me I was doing the right thing and, after I had calmed down, I decided to do a bit of “retail therapy” at an FYE Superstore. While I was there, I ignored another call of his. I knew I couldn’t keep ignoring his calls, sooner or later I’d give in and answer. I knew he was getting pissed that I wasn’t picking up. My desire to make him happy was still deeply embedded in me. On my way home I drove by a Cricket store and knew what I needed to do. I pulled a quick turn into the parking lot, went in and changed my phone number. I knew I also needed to delete my email accounts and Myspace account or he’d try and get a hold of me that way. There was an email from him when I went to delete my email accounts, and I managed to just delete it without reading it. It’s now been a couple of months since I ended things, and it’s been nice to have my life back. I’m starting to re-discover who I was before he stripped it all away. The first couple of weeks were really rough. I dreamt about him every night and jumped every time my phone rang. I had a panic attack one night at work when we had a couple hang-up calls. The urge to call or email and make amends was also a striving thought. It took awhile before I started to break free of those feelings. I have a great support system of friends and family who luckily didn’t abandon me when I isolated myself from them to be with him. I’m going out and doing the things that I want to do — when I want to do them. I’m also starting to get myself out into the dating game, though making it a point to avoid blank profiles and “World of Warcraft” junkies. My life is slowly returning to normal; I’m happy again, and glad I got out of the relationship before I lost who I was for good. It’s an adjustment not having that constant person in my life telling me what to do, but its an adjustment I am very glad to be making. Q

I knew as long as I kept doing what he told me to, he’d be in my life, that I’d have someone in my life.

Five Signs of an Abusive Relationship By V.C. Higuera

1. Shows Signs of Jealously: Jealousy is a natural emotion, and feeling a little envious is not a matter of serious concern. On the other hand, some people take jealousy to the next level, and don’t want their spouse or significant other to talk or communicate with others, including family members. Additionally, the potential abuser may show signs of possessiveness, and accuse you of cheating or lying. For example, if you arrive home ten or fifteen minutes late, or if you don’t answer a telephone call, a potential abuser is more likely to start a fight without valid reason. 2. Manipulation: Abusers have mastered the art of manipulation. In other words, it’s your fault that he or she lost their temper. Rather than recognize their shortcomings and make an effort to change, the abuser is more likely to displace blame, and make you accept the responsibility. Some emotionally-abusive persons look for mates with reserved or docile personalities. Persons with a strong character are more likely to fight back and recognize manipulation.

3. Makes Disrespectful Remarks: An abuser is often disrespectful. In fact, this can serve as a warning sign to family and friends. In most cases, you’ll always be the brunt of the jokes. Other disrespectful actions might include putting you down in front of others, name calling, yelling, etc. Aggressive individuals are very slick. In the beginning, he or she may be extremely kind and caring. As the relationship progresses, the façade fades, and the true self is revealed. 4. Controlling Personality: If a partner shows signs of a controlling personality, make a beeline for the door. Living with a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is no picnic. These persons usually want your full undivided attention, and become angry if your focus is elsewhere. If anyone else shows a little interest in you, the aggressive person may go into a rage and cause a huge commotion. In extreme cases, the controlling partner limits the other’s activities, wherein they can’t do anything or go anywhere alone. 5. Do They Have an Abusive History? If your mate has a history of abusive behavior, carefully re-think the relationship. People are capable of change, and there’s nothing wrong with giving an abuser a second chance. Nevertheless — be careful. Take the relationship slow and don’t discount signs of a potential relapse. The longer you stay with an abusive partner, the harder it is to let go.

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my best friend, ­Joanna, in Las Vegas because Duncan threatened to not see me for a month. He said he’d find someone else for that time. I was so under his spell that it worked. I missed family members’ birthdays and other functions because they’d “take away from our time together.” I never had time to myself anymore, but then again, without him I didn’t know who I was. We both suffer from insomnia and he’d use that to his advantage, keeping me up every night until he’d finally crash, even if I had to work the next day. There were times I got only two hours of sleep. I wasn’t allowed to sleep if he was awake. He had a way of shooting me a look, or have a tone in his voice that made me feel worthless, and when he could sense I was annoyed, he’d go and do something cute or sweet to reign me back in and make me happy again. Sex was one of his favorite ways to do this. His other very effective way to keep me around came a week before my birthday last year. He told me he loved me for the first time. Those three words were almost like a “get out of jail free” card for him. No matter what I was feeling towards him, if he said those words, all was forgiven. Its amazing what power those three little words had over me. After he said it the first time, my ability to think for myself was pretty much gone. His conditioning was pretty much over. I was his. He had tapped into the one thing I’d desperately needed since I was raped the year before I met him. I was now at his place almost every night of the week except, of course, for the two nights he spent with his boyfriend. Even those nights he’d call me to come down after his boyfriend left. Work was my only escape from his world. He always complained to me how much he hated his boyfriend and even considered them broken up, but never actually broke it off. My friends kept telling me to leave him. In the back of my mind I knew I should, but I couldn’t. He was my life now, he was all I knew, and he “loved me.” I had what I always wanted, or at least that’s what I thought at the time. He only said he loved me during sex though, usually towards the end when he was close to climaxing inside of me. He was addicted to playing an online game called “World of Warcraft” and I was to just sit there and watch him play or get him food or soda from the fridge or rub his shoulders or feet and give the occasional blowjob while he played. Otherwise I

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SAVE THE DATE!

Q Home Start Making Your List And Practicing Your Swedish; Utah’s IKEA to Open May 23 IKEA, the gay world’s leading home furnishings retailer, announced that its Draper, Utah store will open at 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday, May 23, 2007. IKEA Draper will be the Swedish company’s first store and restaurant destination in the Mountain West and 30th in the U.S. “Due to the progress made during the fall and the snowy winter, we are confident the remaining construction milestones and interior build-up process will be complete by late May,â€? noted Paul Janzen, store manager of the future IKEA Draper. “Now our primary objective is to continue hiring and training the nearly 350 Utahns who will be joining the IKEA coworker family before we open.â€? In addition to 10,000 exclusively-designed items, IKEA Draper will present 50 different room settings, three complete model homes, a supervised children’s play area, and a 300-seat restaurant serving Swedish specialties such as meatballs with lingonberries or salmon plates, as well as American dishes. Other family-friendly features include a ‘Children’s IKEA’ area in the showroom, baby care rooms, preferred parking and play areas throughout the store. Located south of Salt Lake City on 22.5 acres along Pony Express Drive at the northwestern corner of I-15 and Bangerter Highway, the 310,000 squarefoot IKEA store created 500 construction jobs, and in May will welcome 350 new coworkers into the IKEA family of more than 11,000 in the U.S. and 100,000 globally. Although the future IKEA Draper is still progressing through outfitting phases, prospective coworkers are welcome to apply for diverse positions available in: home furnishings sales, interior decoration, customer service, safety and security, cashiers, maintenance, goods flow, receiving, warehouse and stock replenishment. IKEA Draper also offers food service opportunities in its restaurant, Swedish Foodmarket, CafĂŠ Bistro and coworker cafeteria. There currently are more than 250 IKEA stores in 34 countries, including 29 in the United States, where other stores are being planned in: Brooklyn, N.Y.; Charlotte, N.C.; Orlando, Fla.; Portland, Ore.; Somerville, Mass.; Sunrise, Fla.; and West Chester, Ohio. Since its 1943 founding in Sweden, IKEA has offered a wide range of home furnishings and accessories of good design and function at low prices so the majority of the people can afford them. IKEA has been ranked in FORTUNE’s annual “100 Best Companies to Work Forâ€? list for three years in a row, Working Mother magazine’s annual list of “100 Best Companies for Working Mothersâ€? (four years in a row) and Training magazine’s annual “Top 125â€? ranking of companies that excel at human capital development (five years in a row). IKEA

incorporates environmentally friendly and socially responsible efforts into day-to-day business, and continuously supports initiatives that benefit causes such as children and the environment. A ground-breaking spot in 1994 for IKEA featured a male couple shopping for a dining room table together. The two middle-aged guys, who finish each other’s sentences, say “a leaf means commitment.â€? At the end, one says, “We’ve got another leaf waiting for when we really start getting along.â€? The spot has been lauded as being the first aired television spot directed at the gay community. It is available for viewing at ­CommercialCloset.org. IKEA has revisited gay and transgender themes a number of times in its commercials over the years. A 2006 TV commercial for IKEA showed a smiling gay male couple and their daughter, leaning on a couch, and asks, “Why shouldn’t sofas come in flavors, just like families?â€? Q

Refinance Fever Makes a Comeback Following a surprisingly brutal winter that extended across the Easter weekend, most Americans are eager for springtime. Not only are we ready to shed the heavy coats and gloves in favor of a warm weather wardrobe, but many homeowners are hoping to also lighten their debt — or fatten their wallets — by refinancing into a more attractive and sensible mortgage. If you’ve been contemplating a refinance, then you are not alone. As spring fever quickly reaches epidemic proportions across the United States, refi-fever is also heating up in a big way — and for some good reasons that are worth considering if you are a homeowner. Many Existing Mortgages are Adjusting Upward The sheer volume of mortgage refinance applications is evidence enough that what began as a trend is quickly blossoming into a national phenomenon. Between 2005 and 2006, the number of refinances increased approximately 60 percent, prompted mostly by the high cost of adjustable rate (ARM) and interest-only mortgages that have left many consumers scrambling for an escape route. Homeowners are finding shelter in old-fashioned conventional 30-year fixed rate loans, and since the interest rates on those remains historically low and competitive, mortgage companies are gearing up for another record-setting year of refinancing. Meanwhile, loans with floating rates are not taking a vacation but are instead busy climbing higher. The percentage of loans resetting with adverse conse-

—Continued on next page

Refinance Fever Continued from previous page

quences for borrowers is expected to nearly double over the coming months, leaping from around 12 percent in 2007 to nearly 25 percent in 2008. Record numbers of so-called “2/28 Mortgages�, which have extremely low introductory “teaser� rates for the first two years but are then followed by 28 years of higher payments — and similar “3/27 Mortgages� that begin with three years of discounts before the payments spike — are scheduled to reset. These ARM loans were the craze during the peak years of the recent run-up in housing prices which ended about two years ago, so the bulk of them are now scheduled to reset. They will continue to do so over the next 12-20 months, as those coveted introductory rates expire. As these loans shift into high gear, monthly payments will spike upward and this will generate an avalanche of debt unless homeowners act now to refinance into more reasonable mortgages. Consumers Burdened by Debt May Find Relief through Refinance While mortgage payment pressures mount, gas prices are again soaring, adding inflationary pressure to the price of everything that has to be shipped

Q Garden More Plants, Less Water

1. PLAN AND DESIGN Take the time to plan before you plant. Create different water-use zones and plan which plants fit in the different zones. Consider using a lot of variety in plant texture, color, bloom time and size. 2. DESIGN PRACTICAL TURF AREAS Limit the size of lawn areas to the amount you will actually use. Consider using a drought tolerant alternative like Buffalo (Buchloe dactyloides) instead of thirsty Kentucky Blue Grass (Poa pratensis). 3. USE APPROPRIATE PLANTS Put plants with the same water requirement together. Water zones could be as follows: little or no irrigation (once established), monthly irrigation, irrigation every two weeks, weekly irrigation

Why Refinancing Now Makes Sense & Will Rescue Many Homeowners Whether you should refinance depends upon a host of individual considerations, but here are three of the most compelling reasons to move away from your current mortgage and secure a predictable fixed rate loan: Reason # 1: You are stuck with dangerous negative amortization. Consumers who pay interest or partial interest but no principal enjoy low monthly payments, but none of their outstanding balance shrinks. After years of payments, they still owe as much or more than the amount of the original loan. If you’re in one of these loans and don’t plan to sell your house soon, refinancing to a fixed rate loan may raise your monthly obligations but could potentially save your financial future. Reason #2: You have an ARM that’S already reset or is scheduled to reset. Approximately $1.5 trillion worth of adjustable-rate mortgages are scheduled

for rate hikes in 2007. With rates much higher than they were when these loans originated, the drastically increased payments will stun many homeowners. Refinancing now can lock in fixed rates to avoid a financial crisis. Reason #3: You need money but selling is not a good option right now. With pricing still falling and sales sluggish, many homeowners are unable to sell their property for what they think it is worth. If you need money and have plenty of equity in your home but don’t want to sell at a bargain basement price that will erase that value, you can do a cash-out refinance. With a cash-out you borrow more than your existing balance, effectively accessing your equity without selling your home. Economists predict that before the end of the year, more than $650 billion worth of home mortgages will be refinanced from ARMs to conventional fixed rate loans. When it comes to refinancing into a less costly loan for 2007, the smart money — and the safety conscious investors — are making a beeline to the nearest lender to lock in a reliable fixed-rate loan so that they can then relax and enjoy a worry-free summer. For expert help this season with your mortgage and real estate needs, consult professionals who are devoted to supporting the GLBT community. Contact GayMortgageLoans.com, orGayRealEstate.com.

and irrigation twice per week. You can still include plants in your garden that need more water, just group them together.

5. USE MULCH By covering the soil’s surface with some type of mulch, you help retain soil moisture. Mulching also inhibits weed growth. 6. IRRIGATE EFFICIENTLY Water deeply and less often. Even drought tolerant plants can become water hogs if you over-water. Water early in the morning or late at night rather than in the middle of the day. 7. MAINTAIN PROPERLY Keep irrigation systems running properly. Change timers on your sprinklers as the seasons change and as your plants become more established. Prune and fertilize as needed. By limiting landscape water needs, which often account for 30 to 50 percent of home water use, xeriscaping principles can significantly reduce water use and save money. Q

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As the weather begins to turn warmer, many of us start to plan out what we’re going to do in the yards. In Utah, as you’ve noticed this year, the weather can turn from balmy to frigid in a day this time of year, so most plant experts suggest waiting until Mother’s Day to actually put a new plant into the ground. But now is a good time to make decisions on what to plant. Because Utah receives less than 14 inches of precipitation per year, it is common sense to plant your landscape with low-water-use plants. Water conservation will always be an issue in dry areas. If you implement these steps in your landscape, you are doing your part to conserve water. The experts at Red Butte Gardens suggest these seven principles of landscaping:

from place to place, whether that means higher costs for building supplies, bottled water, or postage stamps. To add insult to injury, billions of dollars worth of crops were wiped out by late season freezes, which means that grocery bills will take a bigger bite out of our already dieting budgets.

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The Gay Agenda YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

I was so focused on Stan’s trip through Gene’s birthing canal I forgot to mention the April 1 issue was my 25th issue anniversary. And since Michael constantly starts out in third gear, he just gave me a silver-colored titmouse as an anniversary gift. But there was no cage included, so where does he think I’m going to put it?

1TUESDAY Q The only thing I really remember about the first Star Wars trilogy is I either wanted to be Luke Skywalker or be in Luke Skywalker. I was eight years old and had the hots for Mark Hamill ...slut! Anyhoo, I’m sure One Man Star Wars, Charles Ross’ highenergy and side-splitting romp through a galaxy far, far away will get a few others hot under the elastic band. 7:30pm, through May 6, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $25, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

2WEDNESDAY Q The muy caliente seven-member Cuban group Tiempo Libre bring their hip-gyrating timba and Latin jazz sound to Salt Lake. The Grammy-nominated band will dazzle you with their sexy sound.

7:30pm, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, UofU. Tickets 18.50–28.50, 581-7100 or kingtix.org.

Q In conjunction with the exhibition Resonance and Return: Social Documentary Photography, the Salt Lake Art Center presents Art Talk with Steinbeck — granted Steinbeck is deceased, so it’s technically Art Talk with Charles L. Etheridge, a Steinbeck scholar. He relates Steinbeck’s subjects and style to the broader context of the Depression, with particular attention to Depression-era photography. 7pm, Salt Lake Art Center, 20 S. West Temple. Free, 328-4201 or slartcenter.org.

3THURSDAY Q Stephen Koester, recognized as one of Utah’s strongest choreographers, presents Dance Koester Dance, a dynamic part of Repertory Dance Theatre’s LINK series. His dance works can be haunting, hypnotizing, hair-raising, prankish, surprising and a lot of fun. 7:30pm, through Saturday, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 355-ARTS or arttix.org. Q Pinnacle Acting Company, a freshman theatre company founded by Creative Director Jared Larkin, presents their second production, Proof. Based on David Auburns’ Pulitzer Prize winning play, it is a metaphorical story about the uncertainties of love, trust,

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and personal integrity through the elusiveness of genius and the difficulty of a mathematical proof. 7:30pm, through Saturday & May 10–12, Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center Street. Tickets $10, 309-8934 or pinnacleactingcompany.com.

Vienne Teng See May 4

4FRIDAY Q The Park City Film Series screens the 2006 Oscar-nominated film Little Children this weekend. Starring Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly and rising star Patrick Wilson (Angels in America, Hard Candy, Running with Scissors). The movie centers on a group of young marrieds, whose lives intersect on the playgrounds, town pools and streets of their small community in surprising and potentially dangerous ways. 8pm, through Saturday & 6pm, Sunday, Jim Santy Auditorium, 1255 Park Avenue, Park City. Tickets $5–6 at the door, 435-6499371 or parkcityfilmseries.com. Q Making a bold move from a lucrative career as a software engineer to an uncertain future as a singer/songwriter (unless of course you’re Sanjayah) was not a bad choice for Vienna Teng. Making her debut appearance in Utah, Vienna has previously toured with Joan Baez, the Indigo Girls and Shawn Colvin, among others. Check out her self-proclaimed “chamber folk” music tonight. 8pm, Holladay United Church of Christ, 2631 E. Murray-Holladay Rd. Tickets $15/adv or $18 at the door, 277-2631.

5SATURDAY Q Today, Barnes & Noble hosts a Bookfair where up to 25% of “voucher-based” purchases benefit Plan-B Theatre Company. Also, Carol Lynn Pearson will be there from 2-4pm to sign copies of Goodbye, I Love You, the script to Facing East and her new book No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons Around Our Gay Loved Ones. Vouchers may be obtained by calling 201-9791 or emailing to jerry@planbtheatre.org. 9am–11pm, Barnes & Noble, South Towne Center, 10450 S. State Street. Q We all should be supporting the arts in Utah, more so than just attending the occasional production. Most, if not all arts organizations are not-for-profit and need financial support from their communities. Egyptian Theatre Company is hosting their annual fund raiser event, themed western style. Saddle Up! offers live and silent auctions, line dancing, a chuck wagon supper and more. 6–11pm, National Ability Center, 3991 E. Hwy 248, Park City. Call 435-649-9371 for ticket prices.

Q Even though constantly wearing them makes your hair fall out more quickly than normal, every one loves a good hat. From a fedora to a pork pie and from a leghorn bonnet to a cart-wheel, nothing says ooo la la like a fabulous hat. Catch the Head Trip: Around the World in 40 Hats exhibition, and if you go today, there will be a special screening of My Fair Lady at 2pm. Hours vary, currently on display through Aug. 12, Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, UofU. Admission $3–5, 581-6493 or umfa.utah.edu. Q Well known and popular in the lesbian community, the Debi Graham Band returns to the stage once again for a bitch’n acoustic rock concert. 7pm, Utah Pride Center, 355 N. 300 West. Free, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org.

6SUNDAY Q Not that I condone taking a shlook of lamb’s bread, but I just thought this was a funny event. As oxymorons go, the World Wide Marijuana March is a damn good one. I picture people crawling on all fours and giggling instead of marching, but then again that’s what I do. Just kidding! The event is presented by Advocates for Progressive Therapy, which I’m all for. Oh, and of course it begins at 4:20. 4:20pm–dark, Liberty Park, 900 S. 700 East. Visit myspace.com/aptutah.

7MONDAY

Q Non-member tickets for Red Butte Gardens’ 2007 Summer Concert Series go on sale today. This year’s lineup includes Mary Chapin Carpenter, Indigo Girls, Ricky Skaggs and Chris Issak. Ticket prices vary per artist and ticket packages available. 325-SEAT, ticketmaster.com or redbuttegarden.org.

8TUESDAY

Q Equality Utah presents Clock in for Equality, a special seminar on how we as a community can strengthen and support workplace equality. Guest musical performance by Eric Himan, a longtime advocate of LGBT rights. 6pm, Utah Pride Center, 355 N. 300 West. $5 donation, 355-3479 or equalityutah.org.

10THURSDAY

Q The Utah Symphony presents HAYDN, MOZART & BACH featuring Jaime Laredo (conductor and violin) and Ralph Matson (violin). The night holds beautiful renditions of Johann Sebastian Bach: Concerto for Two Violins in D major, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Concerto No. 3 for Violin in G major and Franz Joseph Haydn: Symphony No. 103. 8pm, Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple. Tickets $25–35, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Q Utah Opera and Minnesota Opera make history with a new opera derived from John Steinbeck’s epic novel The Grapes of Wrath. Academy Awardwinning director Eric Simonson takes us on a journey with the Joad family during the Great Depression as they make their exodus from the Dust Bowl of Oklahoma to a “land of milk and honey” in California. 7:30pm, through May 20, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $12–62, 355ARTS or arttix.org.

11FRIDAY

Q Well dip me in pink paint and call me a horny wiener dog, the Bears are taking a mountain bike trip. I picture them going around in circles with a large inflatable ball balanced on their noses. Tehehe! BUMB goes to Fruita is an annual weekend trip to Colorado, and is most likely a hell of a good time. Through Sunday, email jeffincognito@ hotmail.com or stokeydoke@yahoo.com.

15TUESDAY

Upcoming Events

May 18 — The Killers, Saltair May 19–20 — Cirque Du Soleil’s Delirum, E Center June 8 — John Mayer, Las Vegas June 8 — Salt Lake Men’s Choir — Broadway Babies, Libby Gardner Hall June 14 — Diana Krall, Las Vegas July 15 — Lyle Lovett/k.d. Lang, Deer Valley July 21 — Jewel, Deer Valley Resort Aug. 25 — Ub40, Las Vegas

By Tony Hobday

tony@qsaltlake.com

One may consider a 33-hour concert by any choir to be a bit long-winded, but specifically, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir performed for only an approximate 90 minutes. The remaining day and a half was spent traveling on a bus, making stops in metropolitan Nephi and Beaver, at a party held at a member’s family “compound” in Ivins and worshipping ... something while taking an unlikely Sunday sacrament. This is the usual nine-step program to the Salt Lake Men’s Choir annual St. George concert; trust that when the elaborate program is over, one will have enjoyed himself and bonded with some of the friendliest men around. To get a proper sense of brotherhood between the members of the choir, it’s important to start from the beginning of the trip and follow it in as much detail as possible to the end. First, after arriving at the loading zone

SAVETHEDATE

May 27 RCGSE Coronation, Sheraton City Centre rcgse.org

July 21–23 2007 Bear Ruckus, Lava Hot Springs utahbears.com

June 1–3 Utah Pride Festival, Library Square utahpride.org

Aug. 26 Utah Pride Center Golf Classic utahpride.org

June 8 Broadway Babies, Libby Gardner Hall saltlakemenschoir.org

Aug. 29 Equality Utah Allies Dinner, Salt Palace equalityutah.org

June 9 True Colors Tour, USANA Amphitheatre smithstix.com

SEPT. 27–29 Out & Equal Workplace Summit 2007, Washington D.C. outandequal.org

June 9–Oct. 20 Farmers’ Market OCT. 5 Pioneer Park Saturdays Salt Lake Men’s Choir 25th Anniv. Fundraiser, June 21–24 Ladies’ Literary Guild Utah Arts Festival, saltlakemenschoir.org Library Square uaf.org

Nov. 2–8 Salt Lake Gay and June 23 Human Rights Campaign Lesbian Film Festival saltfest.org Utah Gala, hrc.org June 30 Gay Freedom Day, Harmony Park pride365.org

If you would like your event considered for this list, email tony@­ qsaltlake.com.

at the ungodly Saturday morning hour of 8:45 a.m. and settling on the bus, the 50+ passengers seemed slightly disappointed it was not equipped with a bidet and walk-in shower. But this did not hinder the overall excitement of the trip. The first 90 minutes on the road were melancholy, with many snoozing or reading or working diligently on their laptops or picking tidbits of refuse from their lover’s teeth. The bus stopped in picturesque Nephi at about 10:30 a.m. and we gobbled a $6.99 buffet breakfast at the Flying J/Cookery restaurant, all the while savoring the inbred eye candy. Once back on the road, things turned really gay (it took some time, but it got there) when the DVD My Favorite Broadway: The Leading Ladies out voted Shortbus for our viewing pleasure. It was all show tunes belted not only on screen by broadway divas such as Liza Minelli, Julie Andrews, Jennifer Holliday, Dorothy Loudon and Faith Prince, but also by passengers. When the bus rolled into Beaver, it felt like a huge bout of penis envy circulated around us. Oddly, the men resorted to shopping ... the big hit in the gas station slash gift shop were fabulous sequined flip-flops with matching toe ring for only $9.99. But one particularly envious choir member shouted while brandishing a decorative rooster, “I got my cock in Beaver!” Back on the bus another handful of divas entertained for a short while longer, then it was deemed “quiet time” ... but, it wasn’t like we were being a bunch of horny teenage boys on our way to summer camp. Anyhoo, we finally reached St. George at approximately 3:00 p.m., allowing enough time before rehearsal to do some more shopping at the outlet mall and/or get a bite to eat. At 4:45 p.m., we were back on the bus to the historic Opera House located in a quaint art district of St. George. A little history here: the building was erected in 1875 for the purpose of making and storing sacramental wine for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Known as the “Wine Cellar,” it soon became the hub of the community’s recreation. In the 1930s it was sold and used as a sugar beet seed cleaning plant. In 1979 the space was refurbished to its original use and continues to offer great acoustics for such concerts as the SLMC’s Spring Fling. In bright — and some flourescent — shirts, the handsome choir was like a plot of tulips singing the praises of Spring including “Manly Men,” “The Pasture,” “Splish Splash,” “Danny Boy” and closing with “Everybody’s Favorite Melody”

(sweetly harmonized with kazoos). In years past, the residents of St. George have looked forward to this annual concert, and this year was no different. Plus, there was one guy who drove in from Las Vegas just to see them. After the wonderful concert, we traveled to an adobe ranch-style home situated on a couple acres (I’m no surveyor, so this is a semi-educated guess) of red dirt and drought-resistant native plants. Between the house and the unattached garage, a walkway led us through an archway to a covered outdoor bar lined with a rainbow of bar stools. We ate, drank and were merry until ... I think the wee hours of morning. Totally fabulous.

Off in the near distance five small camper trailers, a row of “motel” rooms, a sweat lodge and tool shed embossed with ‘Apt. 5’ on its front offered shelter to several of the weary and discombobulated from the bitter cold desert air. When I woke and convulsed from fear of not knowing where I was, several guys were already sipping coffee and having a light breakfast. I guess it was around 10:00 a.m. on Sunday morning. I wasn’t prepared for ‘religious’ services, but as John R. Butler’s song “Hand of the Almighty! (God Will Fuck You Up)” seemed to boom from the heavens, a Tequila Rose sacrament was passed around the congregation by our hostess wearing a Spencer Kimball Mask. For those who haven’t heard the faithful song, I warn you it may make your ears bleed. When noon rolled around, we dragged our asses for what seemed like a sevenminute walk back to the bus. By 6:00 p.m. when we were back in Salt Lake, we had watched Happy Feet and Another Gay Movie, and had stopped in Beaver for tuna melts. We bounded off the bus, gave each other hugs and pecks — some got the evil eye ...hmm! I can’t wait to go again next year. Q

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Q Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats opened in London on May 11, 1981 and has been a smash-hit since. In honor of its 25th anniversary (technically it’s now 26 years later) there has been a national tour of the phenomenon, and it’s finally here in Utah. 7:30pm, McKay Events Center, 800 W. University Parkway, Orem. Tickets $37-52, smithstix.com.

33 Hours with the Salt Lake Men’s Choir in St. George

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Utah Opera Stages World Premiere of ‘Grapes of Wrath’ by Michael Aaron

michael@qsaltlake.com

Some say there is no good contemporary opera, and especially no good contemporary American opera. The critics, however, are giving a big “wow” to Ricky Ian Gordon’s operatic adaptation of John Steinbeck’s 1939 classic American novel, The Grapes of Wrath. The book is a staple of high school and college classes in America and won Steinbeck a Pulitzer Prize and a Nobel Prize for Literature. It has since been made into a movie and a Broadway play. The book, and the opera, tells the story of the Joad family whose Oklahoma farm had turned to dust during the Great Depression. A false promise of jobs takes them on a brutally disillusioning trek to California. Co-commissioned by the Utah Opera and the Minnesota Opera, the opera has been lauded as “The great American opera” and “grand, sprawling, politically astute and musically compelling.” “Nine years ago, I was approached by the Minnesota Opera to do an opera of The Grapes of Wrath,” said Gordon, “and it at first seemed like a crazy idea to me because of the stature of the book. It made me incredibly nervous. But I took the book and I read it on the way to Los Angeles and it really stirred me.” “After reading the book, I really felt like, though I was frightened, I had to say yes, because it was too big a thing to be handed,” Gordon continued. “It felt sort of karmic. Here I am, this Jewish kid from Long Island. If someone wants me to write an opera of the Grapes of Wrath it must be karma, because I am not your first thought with this material.” Indeed, Gordon feels extremely lucky as the road to his successes today were wrought with challenges. His first opera commission came after he put together a 16-song CD and sent it to every opera company in the country. “That is where Houston called and commissioned me to write The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Gordon approached the piece as his lover was dying of AIDS in 1986. “I wrote the opera to basically take my lover out of the world.” “In 1989 I got sober,” he confides, “and my life changed. Before then I was busy destroying myself with various drugs and alcohol. Then things really turned around.” Gordon went through a series of events when he was in the right place at the right time and his popularity began to soar as his works began to make it to those in the industry. “It was a period of lucky breaks,” he said. “Sometimes the universe supports your decision to stop killing yourself.” After agreeing to write Grapes and jumping the hurdles of music rights with the Steinbeck estate, Gordon had to make a decision of who would write the opera’s libretto. “Michael Korey … we were always interested in working together. We started working together on [lesbian writer] Sara Schulman’s book, Shimmer,” explained Gordon. But though the duo was proud of their work, the opera didn’t go anywhere.

Grapes of Wrath Composer Ricky Ian Gordon at the Utah Opera Production Studios

“The good news that came out of that,” Gordon says, “is that Michael and I definitely figured out how to write together. Then [Grapes] came along and I knew I wanted to do it with Michael Corey.” Gordon said that the Minnesota Opera Company was a bit trepedacious about using Corey because he was known more for an urban voice. “He had done the opera Harvey Milk, and his voice can be edgy and urban, but he basically proved himself. He went to New Hampshire for the summer and wrote the first act libretto,” said Gordon. “He had it fully illustrated and it was stunningly beautiful. I immediately heard the music in my head. I went home and within three days, we had the opening of our opera.” “Because of the scale of the piece, it’s this epic, I knew I could really spread out, musically,” Gordon said. “I am a human trash can of human vernacular. I was the total nerd, geek, growing up that every Saturday would go to the library and check out every opera, every musical. I was obsessed with Joni Mitchell, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young, and also foreign movies.” “I gained a pretty good vo-

Michael Aaron

cabulary of musical styles and, in particular, how those styles could carry drama,” he said. He explained that the opera has elements of nearly every kind of American music. “There’s banjo and guitar and harmonica … some moments it’s utterly symphonic and other moments it’s totally jazzy. It’s sort of ‘you name it we got it.’” The two opera companies have poured $2 million to bring the story to the stage. The Minnesota run in February sold out every performance. Utah’s production, due to union issues and cost, carves off 20 minutes of what was a four-hour opera with two intermissions. The book was very much a political statement on how the land of the American dream could allow families to suffer such hardship as those in the Dust Bowl of Oklahoma. Gordon says the story still rings true today. Perhaps there are reasons that books become classics because the tell stories of truth. And perhaps this well may become known as the “great American opera.”

Utah Opera’s Grapes of Wrath will be accompanied by the Utah Symphony at Capitol Theatre on May 12– 20. Tickets are $10–62 at 355-ARTS.

BY MIKEY ROX

Notwithstanding producers will.i.am and Ron Fair’s contributions to MACY GRAY’s new record, BIG, the disc stands on its own merit of content, following a narrative that mirrors the raspyvoiced singer’s experiences over the past few years. From dealing with her divorce on “Finally Made Me Happy,” to being a single mom on “What I Gotta Do,” Big embraces a stylistic diversity that shines through the list of luminaries who helped assemble it. Along with Will, Justin Timberlake lent his talent to the modern dance-floor smashes “Okay” and “Get Out,” while Fergie provides harmonies and backing vocals to “Glad You’re Here.” The disc also includes a pair of tongue-in-cheek numbers in which Gray pokes fun at her own perpetuation of materialism in “Treat Me Like Your Money” and “Strange Behavior.” To promote the album, Gray — who once had the drop date of a previous release plastered on an awards-show gown — has opted again to adopt a grass-roots marketing strategy. “I want to get a real sexy bra, write the name of the album on it and walk around with my shirt open,” she says. Now that’s thinking Big.

On the heels of the much anticipated 2007 Global Groove Tour comes GLOBAL GROOVE: LIVE — the official CD — mixed by DJ DAVID KNAPP. This world-class disc — the 28th volume in the series — features steroidal versions of club staples such as The Dixie Chicks’ Grammy Awardwinning “Not Ready To Make Nice” and the Billy Davis classic “Your Love Is Lifting Me Higher.” Also featured are Billboard #1’s, including “Party People” and Whitney Houston’s “It’s Not Right But It’s OK,” as well as new songs from six international chart-topping artists: Sonique, Pepper MaShay, Offer Nissim, Suzanne Palmer and Joi Cardwell. “David has once again delivered an upbeat mix that will go down as one of the classic Global Grooves CDs,” says Jamie Baxter, COO of Centaur Music. “The track selection is a perfect blend of new songs and familiar favorites, and there is no question the dance artists included are among the best in the business.”

OH MY HECK! I CAN afford to buy a DOWNTOWN CONDO!!!

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“Often harking back to american popular music of the twenties and thirties…you couldn’t ask for a more comfortably appointed evening of vintage musical americana.” The New Yorker 3/5/07 tickets $10 and up. call 355-aRts (2787).

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According to the press release for HILARY DUFF’s new record, “Dignity isn’t for sale. It comes from within.” Blahblahblah, said the record industry, which charges it’s regular fee for DIGNITY, Duff’s fourth album. All grown up at 19 years old, the former Disney Channel dynamo sheds her cutie-patootie past in exchange for a scorching new image — the transformation of which can be heard the moment you press play. Take the title track, for instance. If you trust the spin doctors, lyrics like “Where’s your dignity/I think you lost it in the Hollywood Hills” are simply verbal explanations of the artist’s experiences and observations of living in Los Angeles. Read between those lines and you’ll learn that lip service is less about El Lay and more about ex-boyfriend Joel Madden shackin’ up with Nicole Ritchie. Mmhmm. Lizzie McGuire probes life and love even further on songs like “Danger,”

London-based Lebanese émigré MIKA describes his sound as “Beck via Queen and Elton John with a touch of Rufus W.” And never has a self-proclamation been so spot on. On his debut disc, LIFE IN CARTOON MOTION, the 23-year-old phenom effortlessly glides from the bumpily upbeat “Grace Kelly” to songs such as “Big Girl (You Are Beautiful),” a blushingly charming anthem for the not-so-skinny set. A far cry from the in-flight music the pop innovator wrote for British Airways, Cartoon Motion creates a land of illusion with its magical and inspired lyrics, the wordplay of which will have you soaring above cotton clouds sans narcotic assistance. Other tracks on this breakthrough album include “Lollipop,” which challenges the old adage that it’s better to have loved; “Everybody’s Gonna Love Today,” about seeking more than platonic affection; and “Happy Ending,” an epic poperatic indulgence of swirling melodical flamboyance. “Mika is poised for pop stardom,” says Vanity Fair. But it’s wrong. He’s the next Big Bang.

Illustration: Traci O’Very Covey

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which explores the suspect advances of an older man, and “Stranger,” revealing a relationship that’s picture perfect in public, but bitter cold behind closed doors. And that all goes down before Duff invokes Stephen King’s Carrie on the scathing “Play with Fire.” Nope, hell hath no fury.

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Dining Guide Nick-N-Willy’s Pizza

4536 S. Highland Drive (801)273-8282 M–F 10:30am-9pm, SA 11am-9pm SU 12pm-9pm

What a refreshing surprise it was to try Nick-N-Willy’s World Famous Pizza in Holladay. The location in the Albertson’s Plaza is the first in Utah, with several more rumored to open up along the Wasatch Front. The company’s premise is a range of higher-end toppings atop small-batch-produced crust. The franchise started out of Boulder, Colorado, so this isn’t going to be a New York or Chicago style of pie. It seems every place has its signature style. As far as I’m concerned, Salt Lake has yet to lay out its pizza manifesto (and I won’t even consider JellO anywhere in this equation). Consider it a carte blanche to enjoy any damn style you prefer, or better yet, crave.

Cafe Med

216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am–3pm; 5pm–9:30pm

F–SA 11am–3pm; 5pm–10pm

On any given night, the eclectic environment of Cafe Med houses and feeds a range of folks. One evening included double-dating gay couples toasting with Armenian Kilikia beer, two interracial couples, a small group of ladies distressing over the state of local theater, and a family with full-grown children sharing glasses of wine—all serviced by a small and efficient wait staff. Meal portions are huge — perfect for sharing around the table. The real adventure in dining out at Café Med is the Persian dishes, all of which come with aromatic basmati rice. Koofteh—plum stuffed meatballs stewed in a light tomato sauce—showcases the playful balance of sweet and savory flavors of Persian cooking. The Persian eggplant stewed in tomatoes and served atop the restaurant’s signature dill basmati rice is an unforgettable creation.

216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am-3pm; 5pm-9:30pm F–SA 11am-3pm; 5pm-10pm

There are those in the dining world whose approach to food is so austere that anything but the food and the immediate necessities (i.e. über-chic flatware, one of a kind Riedel stemware) are superfluous additions. Charlie Trotter and devotees wax poetic about dining in pared down décor. Devoid of distractions such as background music, artwork, etc., the food can truly be the center of attention. If you can’t live in a loft, you can at least enjoy a meal in one.

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Tap into your

Been ’n Bitched BY JOSHUA BARNES AND BENJAMIN DYCHES

Equity!

home’s

BENNYBOI: u there? BITCHD90: mmm yeah more or less. Been and Bitched at Oscar’s karaoke BENNYBOI: contest

r u as hung

over as me? BITCHED90: I don’t get hung over. Thanks to Zantrex 3

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BENNYBOI: That sh@# is straight crack! Can u believe Tara’s performance last night!? BITCHD90: Yeah it was brilliant as per usual. But some of the others: Blech.

sion, hence all the televisions being tuned into ESPN. BITCHD90: Yeah well I’m pretty gay and I like aggression. Have you seen the teeth marks in my headboard. Tara’s a girl and got pretty aggressive with the dance floor. BENNYBOI: Shoot! She was gyrating all over the place. “I Touch Myself� is the perfect match for that little hell cat. I have always loved that song! BITCHD90: You love it because it’s the song that most adequately describes your love life. BENNYBOI: That is the first vibrator I have EVER purchased! I wish I hadn’t told u about that BITCHD90: OOooh did Sean at Mischievous help you make a pleasurable selection?

BITCHD90: Also I was overcome with disdain for the judges BENNYBOI: is that just because they were from a rival publication? BITCHD90: maybe. The one judge’s makeup did look nice though. BENNYBOI: What about the contest itself?

BENNYBOI: NO! I picked it out myself, it’s a bit too big though. It would be perfect for U

BITCHD90: All I have to say is System of a Down should never be attempted in karaoke. It’s like Tonya Harding going for the quadruple axel. That could be fun to see actually. White trash with ice rash. BENNYBOI: Well it is a straight bar, and straight men do seem to like aggres-

Tara singing “When I Think About You I Touch Myself� at Oscar’s

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BITCHD90: She told me to get the Water Gem Bunny or something. Wait, are you calling me loose? I’m practically a virgin. I’m tight like a drum. BENNYBOI: Cum they told him. Pahrum-pum-pum-pum. U excited for Kirsten’s party tonight? 420 baby!

Kirsten at her 4/20 birthday party

BITCHD90: Oh yeah that’s tonight huh. I hope there is good liquor. There should be lots of eye candy though right? The whole Landis gang is

BITCHD90: Ok? so no lap dances? BENNYBOI: None. I spent the whole weekend trying not 2 stare @ the Chippendales billboards that r posted everywhere. However, I did get an eyeful at the jousting show my family went to at the Excalibur. There were all these muscle men in leather thongs! They were sooooooo hot!! I couldn’t believe they would have that at a family show! Lucky me. I didn’t want my family to catch me staring too hard though. BITCHD90: LOL. Should’ve worn sunglasses. Actually, I hate people who wear sunglasses, especially at the bar! Creepy. Speaking of Sound. On Friday I was paid the ultimate bitch compliment.

going to be there. BENNYBOI: Yeah. But nobody better get sick again. Danny’s bed still smells like red wine vomit. BITCHD90: Gross. Who does that at a party? OMG. It was that kid from Zach’s school wasn’t it. When I’m gonna puke at a party I have the sense to make it to the toilet or at least the lawn or a tiled floor. The bed though. Damn. BENNYBOI: We have to be more choosey with who we invite to the rainbow ranch. Tonight should be a more regal affair. BITCHD90: How was Vegas with your family btw? BENNYBOI: Fun BENNYBOI: But very Mormon

Bitched in his cage (top) and the “bitches” who tried to steal it. (right)

BENNYBOI: ??? BITCHD90: Get this we are dancing in the cage, and these two girls kept trying to hog it. We kept taking it back. I mean you know how I get with cages. They told us that they were having a

good time until we came. I felt so powerful. BENNYBOI: I know what you mean! I feel the same way about the pole at Paper Moon. Don’t even come between me and my pole. B!+ch I will cut you! BITCHD90: lol. STFU. BENNYBOI: Hold on boss is coming BENNYBOI: Ok I’m back. I didn’t get my myspace page closed in time and I think he saw it … oops. Anyhoo, how was gay bingo? Been and Bitched with Handyman Russ at The Trapp. BITCHD90: Myspace? I didn’t know anyone even did that makers broken at the Rainbow Ranch anymore. I say that trying to hide my and we need ice for the party. own sick addiction. Yeah so Bingo was BITCHD90: Yeah, he’ll be over this so fun. I’m basically in love with Ida afternoon Slapter. I wish she would call me back BENNYBOI: Good. once and a while. She’s just a bit too BENNYBOI: Wasn’t that fun seeing him fancy for me it would appear. QSaltat The Trapp? He seems to go there a Lake sponsored it and I must say to lot for a straight guy. He even knows Michael’s credit the prizes were very the owners by name. very nice. I wanted to win the stay at Hotel Monaco so bad. Michael gave me BITCHD90: having a straight handy man some b.s. about sponsoring the prizes that loves gay bars is too pornesque and then winning them back being unto not be fun. Ok well im off to the Art ethical or something. So I lost. Unethistroll thing. I want to see the new phocal my aunt fannie... tos at Studio 230. They make me feel like I’m in Tuscany or something BENNYBOI: Was Bunny there? She’s my favorite. I think we share the same BENNYBOI: I’d better go too. I’m going to mother…and the same aunt fannie. stop by The Rack to get a new shirt for the party tonight (I hope they got a new BITCHD90: Duh Bunny was there. Need shipment in)…TTYL you ask? Oh sh*%! I just remembered her wig fell off. It was priceless. She BITCHD90: Eww the Rack. I’m out. handled it with total poise though. Been and Bitched are QSaltLake’s PseudoSort of. Socialites. Have some juicy gossip? Know

BENNYBOI: Oh, precious. BTW did you get a hold of Handyman Russ? The ice

of a hot party we should be at? Email us at dish@qsaltlake.com

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Hollywood Buzz By Ross von Metzke ross@qsaltlake.com

For the first time in three years, you can see Meg Ryan’s surgically botched face up close and personal as she takes to the big screen in the mom role in the romantic dramedy In the Land of Women. But if you’re like me and you gave up on Meg circa You’ve Got Mail, your real reason for checking out the flick is The OC’s Adam Brody. Finally free from that pre-pubescent, rich-bitch FOX fiasco, Adam is free to spread his wings and become a real star. This flick is the start of something bigger and better: His forthcoming turns in the ten commandments-based The Ten and Greg Araki’s Mysterious Skin follow-up Smiley Face promise to launch him into respected actor territory. Of course, until that happens, we’re perfectly content to just stare at him. Rarely does a guy with such unconventional good looks come along and manage to be one of the hottest things in Hollywood. But, oh, Adam — he sure makes it work. OK, so maybe Adam’s not quite the sexual being Angelina Jolie’s painted herself to be. But that’s partially because Angie keeps taunting the media with racy stories about her past. What we know about

Dine. Shop. Travel. Save.

this bombshell pre the UNICEF, Mia Farrow-adoption Angelina we see before us today: She’s been in more than one lesbian relationship. She and Billy Bob used to mix violence and sex. She’s not beyond doing it in public. And now, Angelina tells us when she was in kindergarten, she spearheaded little groups of doctor around the playground, making out with the boys, taking their clothes off. Girl got started young. Now that Angie’s ex-girlfriend has nabbed herself a role on here! Networks’ Dante’s Cove, I have to wonder if Ms. Jolie’s going to turn in. I mean, by all accounts, up until quite recently the two were still fooling around with each other. Now that Angie’s hunkering down with four kids and Mr. Pitt in New Orleans, she could probably use a bit of sexual inspiration. Once the kiddies have gone to bed, of course. One person who should probably keep his sexual expression to a minimum is Richard Gere. Now, I get that Richard’s an excitable guy — it’s the Buddhist in him. He’s passionate, emotional. But sweeping one of the most famous Bollywood actresses in the world into your arms for a series of passionate kisses? Come on, Richard! Even I know that’s a no-no. Richard and Shilpa Shetty are paying dearly for the exchange, which happened at an AIDS awareness event. Fans of the actress who, as is customary in Bollywood, is not one for public displays of affection, have shunned her, expressing their disbelief over such a taboo. There’s even threat of a lawsuit of the indecent exposure sort. But Shetty swears Gere has apologized profusely and insists he should have known better, but he just got swept up in the moment. A spokesperson for Shetty says the press should cool it with the coverage and focus instead on the cause the two actors teamed up to promote. Hey, folks in India should be thankful, really. Have they heard what Richard can do with a gerbil? Stateside, Larry Birkhead enjoyed his first days with daughter Dannielyn (and

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OK Magazine bought the photos to prove it), but just as he’s put to rest speculation surrounding his paternity, he’s got another rumor to put to rest. We now know Larry enjoyed at least one night of something with Anna Nicole, but who’s he spending the rest of the nights of the week with?

According to an article in The National Enquirer, men — well one man, actually. But I’m thinking this will be the first of many guys who come forward now that Larry’s playing daddy to the maybe-benefactress of $500 million. The guy in question is former model Kerrick Ross, who claims the two met in Louisville, Ky., in mid-200 when Birkhead was struggling to make ends meet as a real estate agent and a writer. “We were together for about two months and had sex eight to 10 times, always at my apartment. He often spent the whole night with me,� Kerrick tells the magazine. Kerrick claims Birkhead was insistent they keep the relationships quiet because of his Southern Baptist upbringing. Note to self: Baptists don’t like the gays, but screwing a former stripper/Playboy Playmate who’s addicted to methadone? Not a problem. Kerrick says Birkhead insisted he was bisexual. All I know is those frosty highlights were a dead giveaway that there’s more to Larry Birkhead than meets the eye. Of course, nothing the Enquirer article reveals comes close to touching Virgie Arthur’s Flowers in the Attic-like past. Anna Nicole’s mama, who is rumored to be suing for custody, might have trouble convincing a jury she’s the best influence for a toddler when they find out she’s got a kid — with her stepbrother. Yes, you read that right. Virgie’s son’s step uncle and dad are one in the same. That shit might fly in some courts, but probably not in Miami. And finally, the moment I’ve been anticipating for all of season four: Sanjaya finally got kicked to the curb. I know some of you are thinking, leave the poor kid alone. He’s suffered enough. I’ve suffered enough. Let’s be real: American Idol producers do not put the twelve most talented singers they’ve heard throughout the audition process in the top ten. They put three or four of the most talented singers in the top ten, and then pepper them with a bunch of personality. You’ve got the sexy girl (Haley Scarnato), the odd duck (Phil Stacey) and, yes, even the hypergay, no-talent every five-year-old girl in America wants to hug. Luck’s run out, Sanjaya. See you on my next Carnival cruise. And that’s all she wrote this week, folks. Until we chat again, remember: stop and smell the gossip.

Horoscopes

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ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 20) Sun in Taurus shines a welcoming light on your finances. Gay Rams can’t be expected to stick close to the bottom line all the time; there always seems to be too many folks to impress and too many palms (among other things) to grease. Luckily, you can now put every one of your pennies in its proper place. Let’s hope that place is not Las Vegas.

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TAURUS (Apr 21 - May 21) Even queer Bulls will be tickled pink when Sun enters their own sign. You look fabulous from tip to tip even if your fashion statement consists of question marks, fog and a few mirrors. Use this time to demonstrate to the immediate world why you are outstandingly special and why you set the style at any speed. Will you drag race or slowly pace the room?

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GEMINI (May 22 - Jun 21) Face it pink Twin, there are simply no secrets left in the world. So why should you be the exception? Try as you may, there is no hiding from the glare. You will be swept out of your closet with a rather large broom. Ain’t liberation wonderful? There are no secrets worth keeping so don’t even try. In fact, you find that it pays to have a bit of press.

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CANCER (JUN 22 - JUL 23) The festive group dynamic provides a welcoming melody for any pink Crab with an urge to dance. Sun in Taurus enhances any gay camaraderie and provides a rare synergy and freedom for your usual over-controlling personality. The social possibilities are enormous as long as you don’t mind that others are calling the tune. They not only call the tune, they call the dance.

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LEO (Jul 24 - Aug 23) Proud Lions are not always the most focused of people when it comes to professional goals. Thankfully, Sun in Taurus provides vision, gumption and professional, political practicality. Second string just won’t play right now; It’s time to orchestrate a corporate coup. Overturn the maestros and install your own rowdy band. Cause a racket.

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VIRGO (Aug 24 - Sep 23) The world is your oyster dear, queer Virgin. Open it up and check for the pearl. Sun in Taurus opens up the vista and reveals clear sailing and an opportunity to expand your horizons. Plan to take advantage of the current lull to travel to exotic locales. Remember that your pristine Virgo-ness must be obeyed; be sure to stay in clean and moderately priced hotels.

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LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23) If you’ve been feeling as flat as last nights champagne, count your lucky stars that the Sun enters Taurus. Romance is in the air! You find zip in your zipper and pop in your cork. Now you only need the perfect lover to make this merriment complete. Seek and ye shall find, gay Libra. You have a nice choice of tail but don’t settle for just any wag.

p

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Relationships (and the lack thereof) become a red hot issue for proud Scorps. Accentuate your need for one to one companionship. For those lucky souls who are in a relationship, spoil your partner mercilessly. For the rest of us, remember that no one is an island. Dive into the social whirlpool to catch your own rainbow trout. Avoid carps. SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 - Dec 22) Gay Archers begin to feel the heat at work. Before you feel like a rat on an ever increasing treadmill, consider this mantra: “Slow and steady wins the race....slow and steady wins the race...” and focus on the nitty gritty details of your job. You succeed at almost anything in almost any surrounding, if you just put your mind to it. So put your mind to it.

y

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 20) Is there more to life than tawdry cheapness and dissipated good times? Maybe, but who the heck would want it? Sun in Taurus highlights fun, fun, fun and no self respecting pink Cap would give up a good ball for a chain (unless of course you like it that way...). You muster enough perspiration for your inspiration. Let those creative juices flow. Bring a bucket.

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AQUEERIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19) There comes a time in every life when compromise is simply not a viable option any longer. Dear Aqueerius, this is one of those times. Sun in Taurus indicates that you can no longer abide by the straight and narrow attitudes of family members. Break Out. We’ve only got one life and it never seems to be long enough. Ain’t THAT the truth!

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PISCES (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You might have never thought of yourself as a great spokesperson, but now you might begin to do so. Sun in Taurus mandates that your loud and queer voice will be heard above the din, ready or not. Choose your forum carefully, Guppie; it is time to clearly set the pride agenda and push it one giant step forward. If not now when? If not you, who?

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____ Puzzle solutions are on page 38.

M AY 1, 2 0 0 7 ď Ž   I S S U E 7 7 ď Ž   Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž   3 7

Yep, I’m Gay

West Valley. Perfect home for first time home buyer or investor. Brand new windows, newer roof, AC and bath. Large lot has tons of potential. Original hardwoods thru‑ out and under linoleum in kitchen. Possible RV parking on side of home. New counters in kitch‑ en, glass cook top stove. 3 bdrm 1 Bath, $155,000

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Real Estate Agents — ad listings complete with photo, description an your logo are a onetime $25 UNTIL THE PROPERTY SELLS! Call 801-649-6663 today.

6 4 9 - 6 6 6 3 HOMES FOR SALE

1909 AVENUES Con‑ dos near 2nd Ave and B St. Two units avail‑ able. 1 bed/1 bath, about 500 sq. ft. Hardwood floors, stained glass, gas range, central air. $145,000 and $151,900

Place your classified ad today by calling 801-649-6663 or 1-800-806-7357

3 8      Q S A LT L A K E      I S S U E 7 7      M AY 1, 2 0 0 7

Ask a Porn Star Gage Weston I told you we’d have a surprise this month, and since COLT Man Luke Garrett did such a bang up job tackling your problems, we though his boyfriend COLT Man Gage Weston was the most obvious follow-up. The star of Waterbucks 2 gets downright personal with a guy suffering the plight of ‘two’ many men while another writes that a little white lie claiming he’s a top has come back to bite him in his bottom. Dear Gage — I’ve been dating two guys at once and while I like both of them, I honestly cant decide which one I want to pursue. Is there anything wrong with testing the waters with both for a while and seeing where it goes? —Two Too Many? Hey Two Too Many — There are never too many! There is nothing wrong with seeing two people at the same time, everyone likes having choices and variety. You would test drive a car

before you bought it right? If the relationship gets to the point were there is too much of an emotional attachment it could cause some problems. You don’t want to lead someone on too much, get them to fall for you, and then dump them to the curb for someone else. That would be pretty shitty! As long as you keep it on a mutual level of just “seeing each other,” there shouldn’t be a problem until you make your decision. —Gage Weston Dear Gage — I told this guy I’ve been dating that I’m a top. Thing is, I’ve never topped in my life. Now the pressure’s on to go there and I don’t know what to do. Help me. —Bottom for Life Dear Bottom for Life — First of all, if you know what you like in the bedroom, why lie? Honesty is the key to a good relationship. Best thing to do is come clean with him. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then you may be able to hold off on topping him at first. You could tell him that he gets you so turned on, you would love to feel him inside you. If you’re like me and get rock hard when someone’s inside you, you could easily flip and top him. There is really no special technique to topping someone. I’m sure he will enjoy it just because it’s you. —Gage Weston

Classifieds MASSAGE

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Dennis

Massage4Men Utah’s only physique print model & massage therapist. 598-8344. ­ dennismassage.com

MISC. ever peeled an or‑ ange? How about a tan‑ gerine? Marilyn Monroe Tangerine www.mari‑ lynmonroepopart.com

qloveline.com Solutions Cryptogram, from p. 37 There is Sunshine in My Soul Today Anagram, from P. 37: First Week of June

Crossword Solution, from p. 37

Participants sought for study on sexually suggestive material. If student, over 18, and openly gay/ lesbian, visit: www. psych.utah.edu/study/ appeal. Participation is compensated. Celebrating Queer Spirit — A Gay Men’s Retreat, April 27-29. Come en‑ joy a relaxing weekend retreat in Spring City Utah at the Wind Walk‑ er Ranch. This will be a gathering of gay men to explore our person‑ al relationship with ourselves. The week‑ end will include discus‑ sion groups, activities, movement, socializing, and will end with a tra‑ ditional Native Ameri‑ can sweat lodge. REG‑ ISTER TODAY! This will be a weekend you’ll remember for a long time. For more infor‑ mation, please visit ­queerspirit. org UtahGayDate.com has free chat, an inter‑ active webzine, Dating Advice, and free pro‑ files. Join ­utahgaydate. com.

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Support Quality news in Utah’s gay and lesbian communi‑ ty. Advertise in QSalt‑ Lake and help build this valuable Utah resource. 801-649-6663 E n t e r ta i n m e n t Books — Get one meal when you buy a n o t h e r, f r e e a r t s tickets and more. ­EntertainmentUtah.com TheQPages has run out of books, so we are printing a second run right before Pride. Get your business listed be‑ fore it is too late! Call 801-649-6663 or 1-800-8400752 to sign up today.

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M AY 1, 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 7 7    Q S A LT L A K E    3 9

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E D O CINC YO A M Saturday May 5 Friday, April 27 e c n ia ll A r a e B Utah

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