QSaltLake Magazine - August 16, 2007

AUGUST 16, 2007

ISSUE 84

Gay Men’s Health at Village Summit Full schedule of panels and seminars for August 24–26 UAF event

Presidential Forum Attracts Demos Locals meet at Club Try-angles to watch, cheer and jeer

Queer Spirit Retreat to Replace ‘Old Stories’ LDS Church Publishes New Pamphlet on Gays Ft. Lauderdale Mayor Comes Under Fire

West Capitol Gayborhood Construction Begins Local Med Spa Offers Facial Wasting Treatment Ruby’s Restaurant Guide The Gay Agenda

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Gays 40 Percent More Likely to Vote

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Two to slice slice it. it. Call Call on onyour yourway wayhome home Two ways ways to and we’ll have haveititready readyfor foryou. you. and we’ll Please mention this offer when ordering. Offer expires: 9/15/07. Gift certificate holds no cash value. Available only at participating locations while supplies last.

Please mention this offer when ordering. Offer expires: 9/15/07. Gift certificate holds no cash value. Available only at participating Receive a $5.00 gift certificate with every $15.00 spent (up to 2 free certificates in a single visit). Customer responsible for applicable sales tax.

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Editor-in-Chief

Michael Aaron Assistant Editor

JoSelle Vanderhooft Arts Editor

Tony Hobday CONTRIBUTORS

Lynn Beltran | Anthony Cuesta Joseph Dewey | Troy Espera Nancy Goldstein | Ruth Hackford-Peer F. Daniel Kent | Joe LaMuraglia Zachary Mikles | Ruby Ridge Mikey Rox | David Samsel Ryan Shattuck | Ross Von Metzke William Simmons | Dylan Vox Duane Wells | Ben Williams Troy Williams

Integrity

In a recent KUTV News report, a competitor of The Q Salt Lake Pages publicly disparaged the integrity of our owner, directly after falsely representing the number of clients he has, the quantity of books he produced and the quantity of books we produce.

He also falsely claimed to have filed a lawsuit against us.

The Q Salt Lake Pages is the only directory in the state produced by the gay and lesbian community, for the gay and lesbian community.

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Delaney Pederson William Munk Kim Russo

We are the only directory which has drawn support from within the community and the advertisers of the seven years of The Little Lavender Book.

SALES

Michael Aaron JoSelle Vanderhooft OFFICE MANAGER

Tony Hobday DISTRIBUTION

Manuel Hernandez Gary Horenkamp Courtney Moser PUBLISHER

Our owner, Michael Aaron, has been known in this community for over 20 years as the president of LGSU at the University of Utah, chair of Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats, founder of the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, founding member of the original Utah Stonewall Center, publisher of Triangle Magazine, marketing director and singing member of the Salt Lake Men’s Choir, founding member of the Utah GLBT Business Guild and member and/or leader of many other community organizations.

QSaltLake is published by Salt Lick Publishing, LLC PO Box 511247 Salt Lake City UT 84151-1247

You know us and trust us.

We intend to simply turn the other cheek, continue to ignore his irrelevant publication and continue to produce the only directory which is used and cherished our community.

Tel: 801-649-6663 Toll-free: 1-800-806-7357 Fax: 1-866-840-5232

The Q Salt Lake Pages and QSaltLake will continue to support the community as we have for hundreds of events and community groups in the past three and a half years.

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Copies of QSaltLake are distributed free of charge in 200 locations across Utah and in Idaho and Nevada. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy, throw away current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons.

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We will soon be announcing the 2008 directory to be published in December.

We appreciate your continued support.

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Copyright © 2007

We recently polled our current advertisers who have directed us to: • Stay with the size of our publication, which is easy to keep in a car and by a desk and is distinguishable from the myriad of other ‘yellow pages’ thrown on our doorsteps • Print 30,000 directories and distribute through coffee shops, restaurants, bars, bookstores and other locations and events where they can be chosen to be picked up and NOT distribute door-to-door where over 80 percent will be thrown away • Continue to feature trusted businesses, organizations and professionals who have a long history of supporting our community and in whom we can trust to be treated fairly.

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News

‘Gay Street’ Declared by Italian Gay Rights Group

World and National

China Hotels Told to Provide Condoms

BY DUANE WELLS

TOKYO — In a belated response to the spread of the HIV virus in the general population, China has ordered all hotels, holiday resorts and public showers to provide condoms as part of nationwide efforts to fight the spread of AIDS. The regulation, issued by the commerce and health ministries in late July, also required pamphlets about AIDS prevention to be displayed.

The move follows an unusual step taken by the booming eastern province of Zhejiang in March to fine hotels and bars if they did not provide condoms.

China originally stigmatized AIDS as a disease specific to the gays, sex workers and drug users that populated capitalistic Western countries. Traditionally, none of these officially existed in communist China.

Additionally, a new social support center for the gay community has opened in Hong Kong.

The opening of the center follows a move by the highest court in Hong Kong, to show leniency in a case involving gay public sex. On July 17, Chief Justice Andrew Li ruled that two gay men who had sex in a parked car would not be given the maximum sentence of five years in prison for sodomy because the law did not criminalizing heterosexuals for the

same acts. The verdict has been hailed by many as a victory for China’s gay rights movement.

Dutch Embassies to Research Gay Rights AMSTERDAM — Dutch embassy officials in 36 countries where the Netherlands has close aid ties have been asked to draw up an inventory of gay rights legislation in t hose countries.

Aid minister Bert Koenders, commissioned the survey on Aug. 2.

In 18 countries where the Netherlands is an active presence, homosexuality is illegal. Gay men face punishments ranging from fines to public beatings. In three countries, gay sex carries a potential death sentence. Dutch embassies in countries where homosexuality is illegal are being told to urge the authorities to scrap anti-gay legislation.

The results of the survey will be published in a few months but will not be used as an excuse to cut development aid, a ministry spokesman told De Volkskrant.

“We are not going to cut development funds or halt aid just like that,” said a spokesman for Koenders, adding that the minister prefers “to keep the dialogue open.”

BY ANTHONY CUESTA

ROME — The leading Italian gay rights group dubbed Via San Giovani in Laterno Rome’s new “Gay Street,” declaring it a “point of reference for the gay and lesbian community.”

The declaration comes as a response to a row over two men who were arrested last week and charged with public indecency for kissing by the Colosseum. The police said their embrace went much farther in a “manifest and unequivocal way.”

“This will be an area where people can feel at ease, and it is also meant to be a bridge between the citizens and the homosexual community,” activist Fabrizio Marrazzo, the leader in Rome of Italy’s Arcigay gay rights movement, told the Associated Press. “We hope this will become a contact point to for us to make our differences known [to others] and create a climate for peaceful coexistence.” One of the two arrested men took part in the street’s festive inauguration, insisting they only shared a gesture of affection after a night out. Gay couples held a small “kiss-in” rally near the Colosseum on Aug. 3 to protest what they say as an act of discrimination.

Several establishments frequented by homosexuals have opened in the street since 2001, but Rome does not have a gay district similar to those in other cities. The Aug. 3 rally had the support of several members of Prime Minister Romano Prodi’s center-left government, including Equal Opportunity Minister Barbara Pollastrini, Youth and Sports

Minister Giovanna Melandri and Social Solidarity Minister Paolo Ferrero.

Ferrero told rally participants: “There is still a long road ahead in terms of democracy, freedom and respect,” according to the Agence France-Presse.

Australian Prime Minister Handed Gay Rights Petition SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — A petition containing 25,000 names and calling for an end to discrimination against Australia’s same-sex couples was hand-delivered to Prime Minister John Howard on Aug. 8.

Previously, Queensland Federal Liberal MP Warren Entsch had hoped to present a copy of the petition to the Prime Minister because it “shows that support for removal of financial and legal discrimination is very significant.”

The petition addressed to the Prime Minister and opposition leader Kevin Rudd read: “Same-sex couples should have the same legal rights as de facto heterosexual couples. I call upon you to make this first step towards equality by immediately legislating to end discrimination against same-sex couples.”

Entsch said that he was hopeful the petition would help persuade the Prime Minister to implement recommendations made in a recent report by the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission that found same-sex couples are denied basic financial entitlements, tax concessions and retirement benefits available to other couples.

“He already says he doesn’t support discrimination and the HREOC report shows there’s a way forward,” Entsch said. Q

Judge Reunites Pa. Gay Couple Philadelphia — On Aug. 1, a federal judge issued an opinion allowing a gay couple to resume contact with each other while they completed a period of supervision as part of a sentence for dealing drugs.

Initially the couple, Daniel Mangini and Steve Roberts, had been barred from speaking to each other for more than a year. “I’m elated,� said Mangini in an ACLU press release. “This opens possibilities. Finally we get to resume our lives together and dream for the future.�

Mangini and Roberts have been in a committed relationship for more than 20 years. Together, they built a house and raised Roberts’ niece after the state’s Department of Human Services removed her from her home.

The couple became addicted to methamphetamine and ultimately resorted to selling the drug to support their addiction. They were arrested in December 2003, and later pled guilty to possession with the intent to sell. Each man received a prison sentence and five years of supervised release.

While it is customary for the U.S. Probation Office to bar people on supervision from associating with other felons while on supervised release, it ordinarily makes exceptions for close family members. After their release, Mangini and Roberts explained to their probation officer that they were in a long-term committed relationship. They were informed that same-sex relationships were not treated as family, and that they would

have to stay away from each other.

With the ACLU’s help, the couple appealed the decision. Judge Marvin Katz, who issued the Aug. 1 order, initially sided with the probation department. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit reversed that decision and remanded the case back to Judge Katz for additional proceedings.

At a hearing before Judge Katz on July 31, the couple testified to their commitment to one another, their recovery from addiction and what it meant to live their lives apart.

After acknowledging the long-term commitment that the couple has made to each other and noting the great strides both have made in their recovery, Judge Katz ruled that the couple can no longer be barred from having contact with each other. Relying on the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 decision in Lawrence v.

Texas, Judge Katz ruled that same-sex couples have the same right to form intimate relationships as opposite sex couples and that it is unconstitutional to treat same-sex couples differently. “This is truly a great day for our clients who have been barred from having any contact with each other for more than a year,� said Mary Catherine Roper, a staff attorney with the ACLU of Pennsylvania. “By honoring their commitment to each other and fighting to be together, Dan and Steven have helped to bring about groundbreaking law requiring equal treatment for same-sex couples.�

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Ft. Lauderdale Mayor Under Fire for Public Anti-gay Comments City Hall, Naugle also said that Broward County had the nation’s highest number of new HIV infections among men who sleep with men and questioned whether the Greater Ft. Lauderdale Convention and Visitors Bureau should reach out to gay tourists, because they pose a “threat� to public health.

Some had expected the mayor to apologize to the gay community at the press conference.

Local activists say they welcome the national organizations’ support. “Our elected officials need to know that Mayor Naugle’s appalling behavior has drawn national attention with implications that reach far beyond Broward,� said Waymon Hudson, spokesman for UNITE Ft. Lauderdale, which organized a July 24 rally that attracted nearly 1,000 people. “We need both commissions to act quickly and affirmatively.� “It’s almost beyond imagining that the mayor of any major city — let alone one with such a large LGBT community — would say such defamatory and deplorable things,� said Clarence Patton, acting executive director of the National Association of Anti-Violence Programs. “Even more than bringing shame and embarrassment to Ft. Lauderdale and Broward, Mayor Naugle’s words are the very kind of thing that fuel discrimination and hate violence.�

Hudson said UNITE Ft. Lauderdale had been in discussions with several members of both the city and county commissions and expect resolutions to be introduced in the near future with broad support.

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Washington, D.C. — A coalition of 16 national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights organizations is urging the City Commission of Fort Lauderdale and the Broward County Commission to pass resolutions condemning Ft. Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle’s recent anti-gay comments and reaffirming the area’s well-known welcome and supFort Lauderdale, Fla. Mayor port of gay people.

Jim Naugle The coalition’s Aug. 2 letters, endorsed by national gay rights organizations such as the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, state that since Naugle made his defamatory comments in his official capacity, it is up to the commissions to officially respond and assure the public that the mayor’s comments do not reflect the views of either Ft. Lauderdale or Broward County. The letters also cite the national implications generated by the widespread publicity over the controversy. In July, Naugle came under fire for claiming the city’s proposal to buy a single stall, $250,000 robotic toilet for the gay section of the town’s beach would reduce “homosexual activity� in public restrooms. He said that he used the term “homosexual� rather than “gay� because, in his estimation, homosexuals are “unhappy,� and has also been quoted as saying he agrees that “homosexuality is a criminal act.� In a July 24 press conference on the steps of

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News Firefighters Sue over Harassment During Pride Parade San Diego — On Aug. 7, four San Diego firefighters filed a complaint with the state of California saying they were forced to participate in the city’s gay pride parade on July 21, where they were taunted with sexually explicit comments.

“I was forced into a situation that would compromise what I hold true and what I believe in,” one of the men, Jason Hewitt, said in a statement.

An attorney representing the four men sent a letter to the state Department of Fair Employment and Housing last week seeking right-to-sue notices, a first step toward a lawsuit.

Fire department spokesman Maurice Luque said that the department’s engines had participated in the city’s LGBT Pride Festival for the past 15 years and never had any complaints.

“At the last minute the crew in that community was asked to step up and represent our agency in the parade,” he told the Associated Press. “We have a responsibility and we take it seriously to participate in these parades.”

Luque also said that fire Chief Tracy Jarman had met with the firefighters and had asked another city department to investigate their claims.

On Aug. 9, the San Diego Fire-Rescue Department issued a new policy about using volunteers in parades. Under its

National Briefs terms, an on-duty engine crew will no longer be required to drive a fire truck in local parades if no volunteer engineers can be found.

According to the new terms, parsed out between Jarman and San Diego Firefighters Local 145, a volunteer engineer would be paid four hours’ overtime to drive the truck in a parade if no volunteers can be found.

The department participates in 14 community parades per year, including those for the Fourth of July, Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Cesar Chavez Day. The firefighters’ lawyer, Charles LiMandri, west coast director of conservative law firm Thomas More Law Center, said that the new policy may not be enough.

“It’s a step in the right direction,” he told The San Diego Union-Tribune, “but it doesn’t say clearly that no one will be ordered to participate. I’m not persuaded that it solves the problem.”

Early Treatment for HIV Act Reintroduced in House Washington, D.C. — On Aug. 2, Rep. Eliot Engel,( D-N.Y.), Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, (D-Calif.), and Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, (R-Fla.), reintroduced the Early Treatment for HIV Act, a bipartisan bill that would allow states to provide Medicaid coverage to low-income, HIVpositive Americans. The bill was with

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54 original co-sponsors evenly divided between Democrats and Republicans.

This bill addresses a long-standing problem with healthcare coverage for low-income people living with HIV/AIDS. Despite the fact that Medicaid is the largest single provider of HIV/AIDS care in the United States, most adults with HIV are currently not eligible for Medicaid until they have progressed to full-blown AIDS. Without Medicaid coverage, many low-income Americans are left without care and medication needed to help slow the progression of the disease. According to a study conducted by PricewaterhouseCoopers, enactment of this legislation would reduce the death rate among individuals on Medicaid living with HIV/ AIDS by half over 10 years.

“Americans should not have to be diagnosed with AIDS before they get the drugs that can delay the onset of AIDS in the first place,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “It is time for congress to pass this commonsense legislation that would save countless lives. It is absolutely unacceptable that there are still Americans who are not able to access life-saving medication to combat HIV/AIDS.”

Legislative Support for Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Repeal Grows Washington, D.C. — Five new lawmakers, including the highest ranking military veteran in congress, have joined 126 other lawmakers in supporting legislation to repeal the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ban on lesbian, gay and bisexual service personnel serving openly.

On Aug. 10, Representatives Michael A. Arcuri, (D-N.Y.), Brian Baird, (D-Wash.), Adam Schiff, (D-Calif.), Joe Sestak, (D-Pa.) and Brad Sherman, (D-Calif.), all became co-sponsors of The Military Readiness Enhancement Act (H.R. 1246), bringing the number of supporters to 131. Sestak is Congress’s highest-ranking veteran, having served 31 years in the United States Navy and retiring as a three-star admiral.

“Congress is steadily moving toward lifting the ban and welcoming lesbian and gay Americans who want to serve our country,” said Sharra E. Greer, director of law and policy for Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. “Americans overwhelmingly support repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and value the contributions that gay troops bring to our armed forces. When it comes to capturing terrorists, deciphering intelligence and protecting our nation, sexual orientation is irrelevant. It is talent and skill that is paramount to our success at home and abroad.”

Congresswoman Susan Davis, (D-Calif.), chair of the House Armed Services Subcommittee on Military Personnel, told Detroit News she intends to hold hearings on the issue. “Absolutely, I think the series of hearings would build

the case for lifting the ban. I’ve not been impressed that [lifting] it is something that would hamper readiness, retention [or] recruitment.”

During hearings last week, Admiral Michael Mullen, President Bush’s nominee for Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told Senator Susan Collins, (R-Maine), that he would welcome a Congressional inquiry about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. “I’d love to have Congress make its own decisions” regarding the law, he said during confirmation hearings. “I really think it is for the American people to come forward, really through this body, to both debate that policy and make changes, if that’s appropriate.”

The Military Readiness Enhancement Act, which would repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and allow lesbian, gay and bisexual personnel to serve openly, is sponsored

by Congresswoman Ellen Tauscher, (DCalif.).

New Survey Shows Gays and Lesbians Outpace U.S. Average in Voting Participation

San Francisco – A new national survey reveals that gay and lesbian consumers are far more likely to have voted in the last presidential and midterm elections than the population in general. Significant numbers of both gay men and lesbians also donated to a political party in the past year. The survey, conducted by Community Marketing Inc., also found that despite significant social and political progress over the past decade, majorities of both gays and lesbians believe homosexuality will remain a “divisive” issue in 10 years.

“The results of the Gay Consumer Index and Lesbian Consumer Index studies demonstrate that the political parties would be smart to pay attention to the issues that mean the most to gay and lesbian voters,” Tom Roth, president of Community Marketing Inc., said in a release. “We have far more at stake than the average voter and we’re therefore far more engaged in the political process.”

More than 92 percent of gay male respondents reported that they voted in the 2004 presidential election, with nearly 84 percent reporting they voted in the midterm election in 2006. Results for lesbians were similar, with nearly 91 percent of lesbian respondents reporting they voted in the 2004 presidential election and 78 percent reporting they voted in the mid-term election in 2006. In comparison, media reports estimate that 64 percent of the general population voted in the 2004 presidential election and just 40 percent of the general population voted in the 2006 mid-term election.

Slightly more than 31 percent of lesbian respondents reported they made a financial contribution to a political party in the past 12 months. Forty percent of gay male respondents reported they made a financial contribution to a political party in the past 12 months.

Large majorities of gay male and lesbian respondents agreed with the statement “homosexuality will still be a divisive issue in the USA in 10 years.”

Slightly more than 73 percent of gay male and nearly 73 percent of lesbian respondents agreed with that statement. In general, larger numbers of older respondents agreed with this view than younger respondents, with more gay male and lesbian Baby Boomers agreeing with the statement than gay males or lesbians born after 1980. Q

Presidential Forum Attracts All Top Democratic Contenders

by Michael Aaron

michael@qsaltlake.com

By Ross von Metzke ross@qsaltlake.com

In the minutes following the historic, first ever presidential forum on LGBT rights and issues presented jointly by Logo and the HRC, those who turned out to see how the six democratic presidential hopefuls did with the issues are readying their battle cries.

Barack Obama supporters are gathered at Area in Hollywood, Hillary Clinton’s camp is scattered around The Abbey and John Edwards, long thought to be a distant third in the race, gained some definite ground with LGBT voters that night..

But it was two lesser known potential candidates—Mike Gravel and Dennis Kucinich—who were the clear favorites among the crowd for their staunch support of full marriage rights for LGBT people.

On the flip side of the coin, Bill Richardson took a nose-dive when he responded to a question from panelist Melissa Etheridge that he believes being gay or lesbian is a choice, not something one is born with.

The evening had its share of highs and its share of lows, so for those of you who didn’t have a chance to watch, a quick recap of the candidate’s highs and lows, in the order that they addresses the panel.

Barack Obama: High: Acknowledging that he discusses gay rights in all settings—not just when he’s before a room of HRC members.

Low: Saying the word marriage was “just semantics”.

John Edwards: High: Apologizing for bringing his faith into his political campaign with regard to his belief in gay marriage.

Low: Discussing his firm belief in equal rights for all while saying he doesn’t support gay marriage.

Dennis Kucinich: High: Being the candidate who wants all of the same things for the LGBT community that they want.

Low: Being the candidate who made a go of a seat in congress five times before winning.

Mike Gravel: High: Pointing out that the reason Clinton, Edwards and Obama don’t favor gay marriage is because they’re playing politics.

Low: Saying that people who support them because they stand a better chance of winning are votes he doesn’t want.

Bill Richardson: High: Pointing out that his state of New Mexico is one of six that does not support DOMA. Low: Saying he believes homosexuality is a choice.

Hillary Clinton: High: Explaining that ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, while a step forward at the time that her husband signed it into effect, is long out-dated and severely discriminatory.

Low: Saying that preferring civil unions to gay marriage is a personal choice.

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Dozens of people showed up at Club Tryangles Aug. 9 to watch a presidential forum sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign and aired by gay network Logo. The Utah Pride Center and the HRC Utah Steering Committee organized the local event.

“It was a good turnout,” said Todd Hess of the HRC Utah Steering Committee.

Dubbed “Visible Vote 2008,” the evening was billed as “historic.” For the first time ever, all of the front-running Democratic candidates — along with three long shots — sat down to address gay and lesbian issues exclusively.

Presidential candidates Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Dennis Kucinich, Mike Gravel and Bill Richardson participated in the forum. Bloomberg News Columnist Margaret Carlson moderated the proceeding, joined by the Washington Post’s Jonathan Capehart, HRC Executive Director Joe Solmonese and lesbian rocker Melissa Etheridge.

Sens. Joe Biden of Delaware and Chris Dodd of Connecticut did not participate in the two-hour forum, citing scheduling conflicts.

The small studio audience included local Los Angeles gay politicians and activists, and out actors Wilson Cruz and Neil Patrick Harris.

The candidates came onstage individually and were asked questions chosen for each. New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson was asked whether he thought homosexuality is a choice, Illinois Sen. Barack Obama was asked what place he thinks the church should have in government-sanctioned civil marriages and New York Sen. Hillary Clinton was asked what is at the heart of her opposition to gay marriage.

Former Sen. John Edwards appeared to be caught off guard when asked about anti-gay comments Bob Shrum, his former political strategist, accused him of making in 2004.

“You have said in the past that you feel uncomfortable around gay people,” Etheridge asked Edwards. “Are you OK right now?”

Edwards smiled and quickly said that the accusation leveled by Shrum was untrue. “Someone else said it. It’s not true,” Edwards said.

Richardson struggled to explain his vote for the Defense of Marriage Act while serving in Congress. He said he now opposes it and that in his heart he’s now committed to what is achievable — civil unions — but that the country is not ready to accept gay marriage.

Etheridge asked Richardson whether being gay is a choice, to which he said, “yes.” Etheridge rephrased the question, saying he may not have understood it.

He replied that he’s not a scientist. “I don’t like to … answer definitions like that, you know, perhaps are grounded in science or something else I don’t understand,” he said.

Richardson has since asked to be interviewed by the Advocate to clarify his statement.

“I misunderstood the question, and I made a mistake in the way I answered it.

I thought it was a trick question. I made a mistake and I apologize,” he told the magazine.

Obama said he understood the plight of the gay community because he’s a minority. “When you’re a black guy named

Barack Obama, you know what it’s like to be on the outside,” he said.

Asked about homophobia in the black community, Obama scored applause from the audience when he said he doesn’t know any marriage that has been broken up as a consequence of two men or two women holding hands.

“If you think that issue is more important to the black family than black men don’t have any jobs and are struggling in inner cities, I profoundly disagree with you,” he said.

Etheridge voiced anger to Clinton about disappointment in the gay community over extremely high expectations during her husband’s presidency.

“Our hearts were broken. We were pushed under the bus,” Etheridge said to Clinton.

Clinton conceded that her husband didn’t get as much done at she would have liked, but that there was an honest effort on their part to fight for gay rights.

“I think I am a leader now. And I think we are doing a lot to not only talk about laws, as important as they are, but to really try to change attitudes that we should be more open. More accepting,” the former first lady said. “While a step forward at the time, it is long out dated and severely discriminatory.”

The audience seemed most pleased by Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich, a long-shot candidate who is in step with the gay community with his support of samesex marriage. He was introduced as a longtime champion of the gay community and told the crowd the nation needs a president who is going to be an “exemplar of equality.”

When Kucinich was asked whether there was anything on the agenda for gay and lesbian rights he didn’t support, he paused and said, “All I can say is, keep those contributions coming ... and you’ll have the president that you want.”

In a statement clearly aimed at the leading Democrats in the field, he said his support for same-sex marriage was “a question of whether you really believe in equality.”

Former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel went after his ‘08 rivals for “playing it safe” when it comes to gay marriage. He said Democrats are not going to lose votes by supporting gay marriage.

Clinton elicited the greatest response at Club Try-angles.

“A lot of people cheered for Clinton,” said Hess. “They booed at Richardson for his stupid remark [on homosexuality being a choice].”

All of the candidates responded that they would work to get rid of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy.

Only two of the candidates, long shots Kucinich and Gravel, said they supported gay marriage while the remaining four supported civil unions.

After the panel discussion, Solmonese released a statement saying, “The overwhelming majority of the candidates do not support marriage equality. While we heard very strong commitments to civil unions and equality in federal rights and benefits, their reasons for opposing equality in civil marriage tonight became even less clear.” He stated that there is still much work to do.

A forum for Republican candidates has been offered but GOP candidates haven’t shown interest in reaching-out to gay and lesbian voters.

Logo/HRC Presidential Debate Report Card

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Local News

Queer Spirit Retreat Helps Gay Men Shed ‘Old Stories,’ Build New

by Michael Aaron

michael@qsaltlake.com

in four parts. With each, more rocks, which have been heating in a fire for hours, are brought into the lodge, bringing the temperature up dramatically. The lodge is pitch black but for an occasional glow from embers burning on the rock.

Water is poured on the rocks, filling the lodge with steam.

Many of those who have experienced a lodge often say they find new things

Building on the successes of their previous two Queer Spirit Retreats, Jerry Buie and John Cottrell have announced a third retreat the weekend of Sept. 7–9 at the Windwalker Ranch in Spring City.

The pair admit that upon hearing a title such as “queer spirit,” many gay men are turned off since spirituality is often used as a weapon against them. The spirituality offered at these retreats, however, is based around ancient native American themes and rituals — most of which embrace and cherish queer identities.

“Queer Spirit is about finding the ‘queer self’ and integrating this into our lives with pride, honor and confidence,” Jerry Buie wrote in a statement about the event.

“We find that ceremony and ritual can be a pow- Queer Spirit Retreat participants of April, 2007 at Windwalker Ranch in Spring City. erful way to create intention and focus.” about themselves, some have visions in The event begins on a Friday evening the darkness, others find simply makas participants dine at the ranch and set ing it through and overcoming fears of out for a bonfire under the star-lit Spring darkness or tight places as a triumph.

City skies.

Few will say that they leave the lodge the “We use [the fire] to release and let same as they enter it. go of stories of shame, doubt, fear or Last April’s retreat drew 13 men plus anything else that binds/restricts us. We the organizers. Buie and Cottrell hope create the sacred fire to release the issues to expand that number in this upcoming and inhibitions that domesticate our retreat. “We can accommodate 20 or 25 thinking and the expressions of who we people, and we’re getting a lot of interest are,” continued Buie. “This fire will be for September,” Buie said. fun, meditative and invigorating. It is not The April weekend far exceeded any uncommon for someone to bring a guitar expectations that Cottrell or Buie held as or for a cowboy singer/poet to show up they were planning the event. and share his talent.”

“At best we had hoped to get the men Saturday is an individual’s time to together to talk and to experiment with explore his reasons for being there, what a new story,” Buie explained. “Instead he hopes to get out of the weekend and each man courageously and beautifully get in tune with his body, his mind and stepped into a magical place, stepped his spirit. An early morning yoga session outside of the old story and created a new introduces breathing as a way to connect one for them.” with the body. Meditative techniques “As we considered the implication used by many cultures center around of self-love, self-joy, self-nurturing and conscious breathing to move inward. our own individual process of creating Saturday is also an opportunity to that new story, we stepped into a very explore the ranch, seen by many Native powerful and rewarding place,” Buie Americans as a sacred place. Indeed, an continued. “The 13 strangers who came old cedar, referred to as a grandmother together, left as brothers embracing each tree, just outside the property boundarother, promising future connections, ies is covered in red prayer ties and correspondences and, respecting and offerings. Many of the men who have engaging each other in a joyous place. participated, says Buie, have found the The weekend was beautiful and there are trip to the grandmother tree as the most no other words to describe it.” moving, important part of the weekend.

Registration for the weekend includes all Most, however, see the sweat lodge meals and comfortable lodging. This is Saturday night as the most rewarding a nonprofit event. Any proceeds from the and revealing part of the Queer Spirit exevent are turned back into funding future perience. The lodge, built by Buie several reterats. More information and registrayears ago and used by many who visit the tion forms are available at queeerspirit. ranch, is a traditional wood and canvas org or by emailing Buie at jerrybuie@mac. structure with a fire pit in the middle. In com or Cottrell at skiutjohn@yahoo.com. native tradition, the ceremony proceeds

LDS Church Releases New Gay Pamphlet A new pamphlet about homosexuality and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints appeared on the church’s Web site in late July.

Titled “God Loveth His Children,” the 2,500-word document reiterated several of the church’s previous statements about homosexuality, including the difference between same-sex attractions (which it considers not sinful) and acting on those attractions, and incompatibility of samesex relationships with God’s plan for families in the afterlife.

At the same time, the pamphlet states that the church does not know what causes same-sex attractions, but that sexual abuse and sexual experimentation in childhood aren’t responsible. It acknowledges that homosexuality includes “deep emotional, social and physical feelings.” Above all, it stresses that same-sex attracted Mormons should remain active in the church and that straight members should treat them with love and respect.

However, the pamphlet also implies that gay and lesbian members should not “flaunt” their orientation. And while it states that not all gays are able to change their orientation, it labels as “helpful” seeking “guidance from professional counselors” whose counsel on same-sex attraction “is consistent with gospel teachings.”

“In some circumstances a person defers marriage because he or she is not presently attracted to a member of the opposite gender,” one passage from the pamphlet reads. “While many Latter-day Saints, through individual effort, the exercise of faith and reliance upon the enabling power of the Atonement, overcome same-gender attraction in mortality, others may not be free of this challenge in this life. However, the perfect plan of our Father in Heaven makes provision for individuals who seek to keep His command-

ments but who, through no fault of their own, do not have an eternal marriage in mortal life. As we follow Heavenly Father’s plan, our bodies, feelings and desires will be perfected in the next life so that every one of God’s children may find joy in a family consisting of a husband, a wife and children.”

Passages such as these worry critics like Gary Watts who, with wife Mildred, co-chaired the gay Mormon support group Family Fellowship for several years.

“If I’m a gay guy who’s struggled for 10 years to change and can’t, I’m going to ask: what’s wrong with me?” Watts told the Salt Lake Tribune.

Affirmation Gay and Lesbian Mormons welcomed what they called a “softening” of the church’s position in “God Loveth His Children,” which is gentler in its treatment of gays and lesbians than previous publications which often equated gay sex with murder and drug addiction.

Still, executive director Olin Thomas said that Mormon leadership still had a long way to go in welcoming gays and lesbians as full members.

“While Affirmation welcomes any softening of the church’s position on this matter, this publication does not reflect any substantive change in policy or position,” he said. “The only option for gays and lesbians is a life of solitary chastity.

I do not believe that the Creator would expect this of anyone. The writers of the pamphlet admit that sexual orientation is not a choice: Why is it so hard to accept that it might be God-given rather than a burden to bear?”

Church leadership has not yet announced how the new pamphlet will be used. A spokesman for the church has declined to comment on reports that copies of “God Loveth His Children” are being sent to Mormon bishops. Q

Anti-gay LDS Leader Faust Dies at 87 demonstrates absolutely that this is so.

Besides, if it were so, it would frustrate the whole plan of mortal happiness. Our designation as men or women began before this world was. In contrast to the socially accepted doctrine that homosexuality is inborn, a number of respectable authorities contend that homosexuality is not acquired by birth. The false belief of inborn sexual orientation denies to repentant souls the opportunity to change and will ultimately lead to discouragement, disappointment, and despair.

“Any alternatives to the legal and loving marriage between a man and a woman are helping to unravel the fabric of human society. I am sure this is pleasing to the devil. The fabric I refer to is the family.

These so-called alternative lifestyles must not be accepted as right because they frustrate God’s commandment for a life-giving union of male and female within a legal marriage as stated in Genesis. If practiced by all adults, these lifestyles would mean the end of the human family.”

Interestingly, several writings and speeches by former LDS apostles made similar arguments against monogamy during the day polygamy ruled: Apostle Orson Pratt wrote in the Journal of Discourses, “This law of monogamy, or the monogamic system, laid the foundation for prostitution and the evils and diseases of the most revolting nature and character under which modern Christendom groans.”

A u g u s t 16 , 2 0 0 7  I SSU E 8 4  Q S A LT L A K E  9

James Faust, the Second Counselor in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, died early Aug. 10 at the age of 87.

In his first speech after rising to the First Presidency in 1995 entitled “Trying to serve the Lord Without Offending the Devil,” Faust attacked several issues head-on, including homosexuality: “The Church’s stand on homoLDS Church Second Counselor sexual relations James Faust LDS Church photo provides another arena where we offend the devil. I expect that the statement of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve against homosexual marriages will continue to be assaulted. Satan is only interested in our misery, which he promotes by trying to persuade men and women to act contrary to God’s plan. One way he does this is by encouraging the inappropriate use of sacred creative powers. A bona fide marriage is one between a man and a woman solemnized by the proper legal or ecclesiastical authority. Only sexual relations between husband and wife within the bonds of marriage are acceptable before the Lord.

“There is some widely accepted theory extant that homosexuality is inherited.

How can this be? No scientific evidence

1 0  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 4  A u g us t 16 , 2 0 0 7

OH MY HECK! I CAN afford to buy a DOWNTOWN CONDO!!!

Local News Heavy equipment clears a 5.5 acre lot to prepare it for the multi-use “The Marmalade” project in West Capitol Hill.

Construction Begins in Utah’s Gayborhood

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The gayest neighborhood in the state is under heavy construction, and “it’s about time” is what many in the neighborhood are saying.

The $60-million “The Marmalade” mixed-use project on Third West and Fifth North officially broke ground the first week of August on 5.5 acres of land abandoned when Safeway closed their store over two decades ago. Over a dozen bulldozers and other heavy equipment have been working late into the night on both sides of Third West to ready it for the development.

“The important thing for this particular area was we needed something that would provide a residential and commercial anchor to the entire neighborhood,” said Salt Lake City Councilman Eric Jergensen, whose district includes Capitol Hill. “This project will provide the long- term foundational strength for this whole neighborhood, especially along Third West, which has really needed redevelopment for a long, long time.”

The development was announced in early 2006, but took until February 2007 for final city approval and until August to actually break ground.

Urban Utah’s Babs DeLay, who represents the project, said that the units, ranging in price from $ 284,000 to $695,000, are 2/3 sold. About 30 percent of buyers are gay or lesbian, she said.

She also said the project will take 18 months before completion.

The project was chosen by the US Green Building Council as one of 120 projects nationwide to be part of a Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design for Neighborhood Development pilot program announced last month.

Capitol Hill Townhomes

Smaller Projects Several smaller condo projects are under construction or have recently been completed along Third West. Another on a steep slope on West Temple at Seventh North has been delayed because of neighbors’ concern over appropriate height and design in the historic district. Plans have been modified and the project will likely be approved this month.

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Marmalade Square Marmalade Square at 244 West Sixth North has sold all 20 units of its first phase and is moving into its second. Real estate agent Terry Jackson says that sales are brisk, noting that more than half of the buyers are gay couples.

“The swimming pool is in and ready to go as soon as the cabana is finished,” she said. “It’s amazing how cute things are turning out.”

The project is an update of an L-shaped 100-unit apartment complex. As renters move out of their units, kitchens are being updated with alder cabinets, granite counter tops, new appliances, new wood and tile flooring and new windows.

“The price range has a lot to do with our success,” said Jackson. The units range from about $165,000 to $185,000.

Marmalade Square Condominiums

Homes Single-family homes in the area have been selling extremely fast, sometimes for irrational amounts, though there are many deals still available. Most houses being sold recently are recent remodels for profit, though there are many fixer-uppers still available in the neighborhood.

The neighborhood is known for its diverse architecture and house scale as well as its diverse racial and socio-economic make-up. Many gay activists and out business people call Marmalade their home. Q

‘God Hates Fags’ Group Threatens to Nuptials Protest Potential Mine Disaster Funerals Members of the church notorious for picketing the funerals of AIDS patients and murdered gay student Matthew Shepherd have again vowed to come to Utah, this time to protest any memorial services that may be held for the six miners trapped inside the Crandall Canyon Mine.

The Topeka, Kas.-based group announced its plans on the night of Aug. 11 in a fax to the Deseret Morning News.

It was titled “Thank God for the Utah Mine Disaster.”

“God hates Utah and America for surrendering to the fag agenda, and because of which God is now punishing this evil, sodomite nation with disaster after disaster, including 9/11, Iraq, Katrina, West Virginia Mine Disaster, Virginia Tech Massacre, The Shuttle Disaster, etc., — and now: The Utah Mine Disaster,” the fax read.

In June, three Westboro Baptist

UAF Walk for Life Nearing The Utah AIDS Foundation in partnership will hold its 19th annual Walk for Life on Saturday, Sept. 15.

The walk will begin at noon on the northwest corner of Liberty Park and finish at the 9th and 9th Street Fair, which is cosponsoring this year’s event.

Registration is now open for individuals, teams, corporate sponsors and volunteers.

Walkers are welcome to bring their dogs.

members protested the funeral of Sgt. Jesse Blamires, a South Jordan soldier killed on duty in Iraq. They stayed a few blocks away, holding signs reading “Pray for more dead soldiers” and the group’s trademark message: “God Hates Fags.” They claim that such deaths and natural disasters are the result of America’s tolerance of gays and lesbians.

In response to the church’s demonstrations, Utah passed a law making it a class B misdemeanor for protesters to come within 200 feet of a funeral or memorial service an hour before or after it takes place.

Emery County Sheriff Lamar Guymon told the Deseret Morning News that he would enforce the law to the letter if Westboro Baptist members come to Huntington.

“It’s absolutely in poor taste,” he said.

“Number one, we don’t have any dead miners at this point.”

Mike Green & Scott R. Mills are pleased to announce their union as a family in honor of their Domestic Partnership in the State of California. To commemorate this wonderful occasion, a Liturgical Service will be celebrated in the Sanctuary of the First Baptist Church of Salt Lake City 777 South 13th East Saturday September 8, 2007 Prelude will begin at 6:45 pm The program, A Celebration of Love, will feature vocal artists Connie Roberts and Seth Kershisnik, Mark Packer, violinist Patrick Angell, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir and the piano duets of Mike and Scott.

Reception to follow. All welcome. No gifts please

Q Sports

Gay Bowling League to Start Playing with Free Bowling Night The Salt Lake Goodtimes Bowling League will hold a free bowling night and sign-up for its 07-08 fall and winter season at Bonwood Bowl on Aug. 26. The season itself will begin Sept. 9.

During the regular season, bowlers must pay a fee of $10 per night, per bowler. Bowlers also need to pay a onetime annual fee of $18.25 for a membership card in the United States Bowling Conference.

Bowlers of all experience levels are invited, and beginning bowlers are especially welcome to play. Bowling teams consist of four players. The league will help individual players find teams.

Bowling balls will be provided and shoe rental is also available.

Bonwood Bowl is located at 2500 Main St. and can be reached at 487-7758.

For sponsorship information and forms or for more information, call 487-2323 or visit utahaids.org.

SL Men’s Choir Seeks Tenors The Salt Lake Men’s Choir is in desperate need of tenors as it enters its 25th anniversary year.

“We are seeking singers in all ranges, but have a specific need to fill out our tenor sections,” said Dennis McCracken, artistic director of the choir.

The gay choir is open to all men who wish to sing, regardless of sexual orientation or singing ability.

The choir rehearses on Thursday nights at 7:00 p.m. at All Saints Episcopal Church, 17th South and Foothill Boulevard. Those wishing to join should show up a few minutes early and ask for Dennis.

Center Offers Workshops If you’ve ever wanted to participate in empowerment workshops, but haven’t been able to afford the outrageous prices, the Utah Pride Center is offering classes designed specifically for the gay community.

The next workshop scheduled is titled “Got Self Esteem? Learn How to Love Yourself More.” Running Thursdays beginning Sept. 6 and ending Oct. 11, the series runs $30. This workshop will go in depth to help attendees enhance the relationship they have with themselves so they may begin to live with a self-assurance and feeling of worth that will positively affect all they do.

For more information or to register contact Jordan Rullo: Jordan.rullo@psych.utah.edu

Golf Classic Attracts Who’s Who of the Gay Community

Team QSaltLake poses for a glamour shot just after a game, because you know we’re only in it for the glamour.

Pride Softball League Wraps Up Season by tony Hobday

Team G came out on top of the ten teams playing in this year’s Pride Softball League. One of the longest running participants in the league, G has been dubbed “one of the toughest and best teams.” When team QSaltLake went head-to-head with G a couple of weeks ago, it was like being run over by a locomotive ... but a toy one. They knew we

had about as much talent on the field as Pee Wee Herman, and took a smidgen of pity on us. Now, that’s sportsmanship.

Overall, each team was most fabulous to watch as well as play against. Also, the league boardmembers were helpful, kind, informative and really give a damn about making PCSL a fun, safe and worthwhile event for gay and gay-friendly participants.

Final Pride Softball League Standings Team

Won

Team G Bonwood Bowl Pillar Rainbow Mountain Realty Salt Lake’s Fynest by Try-Angles Mo’s Grill Utah Pride Center The Trapp Heart-Song/Royal Court QSaltLake

13 12 11 9 7 7 6 2 2 1

Lost

Tied

Pct.

G.B.

RF

1 2 3 5 7 7 8 12 12 13

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

.929 .857 .786 .643 .500 .500 .429 .143 .143 .071

-- 1.0 2.0 4.0 6.0 6.0 7.0 11.0 11.0 12.0

212 149 219 162 129 155 78 87 73 35

RA

58 73 93 93 114 117 163 190 184 214

The Utah Pride Center says its annual Golf Classic has the reputation of being the most fun you can have while raising money for a fantastic cause! Now in its eighth year, the tournament attracts an impressive list of who’s who in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and many wonderful allies – including television personalities, politicians, and golfers of all ability levels.

The classic will be held at the Stonebridge Golf Club, 4415 Links Dr, West Valley City. Links Drive is about 24th South.

Those wanting to play can register online at utahpridecenter.org or by calling the Center at 539-8800.

A pre-party will take place on Friday, Aug. 24. “Party on the Patio” will be held at the Paper Moon, a private club for members, on 3737 South State Street.

Cost is $10 per person and includes food by the New Yorker from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m.

The Sister Wives will perform at 8:00 and dancing will follow. Proceeds will benefit the Center.

A u g u s t 16 , 2 0 0 7  I SSU E 8 4  Q S A LT L A K E  11

For more information, go to s­ altlakemenschoir.org or email dennis@ saltlakemenschoir.org.

For more information about the league, contact Nate Christensen at 680-8904 or dino0973@msn.com. —JV

12  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 4  A u g us t 16 , 2 0 0 7

Opinion

From the Editor Spring Cleaning

by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

Fifteen years ago, or so, I was the chair of Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats. We were a new Democratic political caucus that caught the party by storm. Rod Decker said a “new political powerhouse” was in town. We quickly became one of the largest and definitely the most organized caucus in the party.

We got ourselves onto every committee, helped rewrite the party constitution and, frankly, were seen as a giant pain in the ass by most of the party, especially when we had to resort to such tactics as shutting down the annual convention since we were being railroaded out of the party platform. Seriously, our executive director jumped up onto a table and screamed that the party officers were misusing their authority in order to shut us out. Conventioneers agreed and chaos ensued.

The party quickly learned that in order to keep us out of the news spotlight, it was best to integrate and work with us.

We began having biannual wine and cheese parties, inviting candidates to join us and meet with our delegates and supporters. We’d actually get a half dozen or so. We were the shit.

We progressed to actually throwing a dinner, inviting then newly-elected Sheila Kuehl to speak. We reserved the stage at the newly-built Gallivan Center— yes, the stage — and set up six tables, a podium and the U.S., Utah and Pride flags. A whopping 34 people paid $30 at our inaugural dinner.

And here we are today, Equality Utah is anticipating 1,200 people paying $100 a plate for a dinner which will attract every serious mayoral contender in the race.

Past dinners have been attended by the attorney general, the governor, several mayors, several more state

Letters Rid Your Own Intolerance

senators and representatives.

To say things have come a long way (baby) is to simply state the obvious.

But many worry that all of this focus on gay and lesbian issues is actually producing a backlash. They believe we are worse off than before all this hoopla came about with gay marriage.

To some degree, there is some truth to that. Before 1989 there was no law against gay and lesbian people adopting children and we weren’t singled out in the state constitution.

I liken this, however, to spring cleaning. I don’t know about you, but when I start this annual feat, the place becomes a wreck. Boxes and bags and crap strewn around the house (though if you saw our living conditions right now, you’d see just that ... but that’s beside the point).

There is an old adage that things must get worse before they can get better.

Yes, there will be some casualties during a ‘war’ to create change. But can you really think that we are not better off today than 15 years ago?

Fifteen years ago BYU was using electroshock therapy to “cure” homosexuals. Not long before that, BYU was sending security officers to parking lots of gay bars and recording licenses to see if their students were patronizing them. There was no bowling league, softball league, Log Cabin Republican club, gay-straight alliances or queer studies. Gay movies were all depressing — both of them. Gay books could only be bought at alternative book stores that specialized in drug paraphernalia or porn.

Pride brought dozens to local parks, not tens of thousands to the City-County Building.

Kids grew up thinking they were alone. Men married women in hopes they’d become straight (well ... in much greater numbers than they do today).

Much of this has come around because of simple visibility. The AIDS epidemic, Queer Nation, local activists acting out loud enough to attract media attention, Will and Grace, and yes, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome openly defying state law and marrying people on the steps of city hall.

But the good thing is — once it’s all over and all the boxes are repacked and the trash taken out, life is just so much better. Q

Editor, I couldn’t resist sitting down and making a response to Michael Aaron’s question — “So, what are we going to do about it?” — in his Aug. 1 editorial, “Will ‘Ex-Gay’ Soon be ‘Ex-SSA?’” in reference to the LDS Church’s ongoing role in the ex-gay movement.

Well, I don’t think there is much that can be done about stopping the LDS Church’s intolerance of the gay community because of one underlying doctrinal premise. As long as the LDS Church continues to teach and emphasize that there is one goal, and only one goal that is acceptable for eternal happiness — “that being between a man and woman, lawfully wedded” — which is to reach the highest level of the celestial kingdom, then they have to continue to be narrow-minded of any lifestyle outside of that “perfect” realm, eternal polygamy excepted, of course.

In its newest document, God Loveth His Children — found on the LDS Church website, rather than calling out that homosexuality is an abomination as done in the past, the new rhetoric is “our bodies, feelings, and desires will be perfected in the next life,” implying to me that all will be made heterosexual instantly after one dies. Personally, I think this is scripturally unfounded and just another fallback to rationalize their moral agenda. Interestingly, the article further acknowledges that “others may not be free of this challenge in this life.” In other words, the feelings of homosexuality do not go away in this life. This is an extraordinary change from decades of abusive, hurtful language that has been used to convince many of us that we could change to being heterosexual. However, as our own community now values being gay as a blessing, many in religious communities around the world continue to shun who we are and the Mormon faith continues in my mind to be no exception. There will continue to be language from the LDS faith that promotes their SSA agenda to “help” our community be celibate because of their one-goal belief system.

For me and my partner, our belief system includes “the privilege of worshiping Almighty God ... how, where, or what” we may. We are living wholesome, productive, loving lives. We do not live in darkness and unhappiness, but rather lives of harmony, strength, courage, integrity and happiness. What all of us can do and are doing, is to keep our community strong with these same good values. We may not ever see a doctrinal change on this matter from the LDS Church, although many are hopeful. Either way, and more importantly, we can be who we are and just keep doing what we are passionate about and support one another in life’s beautiful, miraculous journey, as God does in loving all of His Children.

Mike Green Salt Lake City

Won’t Patronize an Ass Editor, On a KUTV story about TheQPages and the Gay Pages, the representative of the Gay Pages looked like an ass.

I’d even venture to say that he looked almost confrontational when it comes to whether or not the two of you are “competitors” and he almost came off like he somehow deserves the right to corner this market.

It seemed to me that he was trying to demand domain over a segment of the population for his own use and seemed almost threatened or intimidated by your organization.

So, to sum up ...I am gay, and live here in the valley, and if given a choice ... I’d definitely be more likely to seek out your communications, and stay away from his.

Chadwick Salt Lake City, via myspace.com/qsaltlake

QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Please send letters of under 300 words to letters@qsaltlake.com. Include your full name and contact information for verification.

Guest Editorial Leave Gay Marriage Out of the Conversation ... At Least Until Next November

By Miles Christian Daniels

Miles Christian Daniels, danielsm@hmrifken.com, is an activist, filmmaker and syndicated columnist based in New York City.

His articles have appeared in more than 100 newspapers and magazines. He is currently directing a documentary film about the life of Civil Rights’ icon, Ruby Bridges.

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A u g u s t 16 , 2 0 0 7 ď Ž   I SSU E 8 4 ď Ž   Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž   13

As a gay American with a lot at stake next November, I closely watched last Thursday’s Presidential debate, the first-ever focused exclusively on our rights. The panelist’s concerns ranged from abolishing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,� to employment non-discrimination laws, to how ours compares to the civil rights struggle of blacks. Answers were mostly predictable, safe and showed candidates do scrutinize polls.

All but two Democratic hopefuls showed up for the two-hour event. Republicans, though invited, knew better. After all, the small number of potential gay voters isn’t worth alienating their nongay constituency — especially those more conservative.

Driving the dialogue was whether or not these politicians endorse gay marriage. This clearly weighed most heavily on the minds of the panelists and “civil unions� was not an acceptable answer.

The unwavering emphasis on this issue, not whether or not the candidates called it marriage or civil union, frightened me.

Barack Obama, citing the more than eleven hundred federal rights available to opposite-sex couples, said that he would “fight hard� to make sure those same rights are available to us. He was careful, however, to refer to this as a step toward “civil unions,� not marriage.

Edwards, while sympathizing with gay people, stated that his political viewpoints have not changed. He didn’t mince words and made clear his opposition to same-sex marriage.

Hillary Clinton, the frontrunner, was asked why she opposed gay marriage. “I prefer to think of it as being very positive about civil unions,� she said.

I’ve considered passionate and persuasive arguments from sides. These range from “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve� to child rearing to economic.

And I’ve seen what happens when some politicos try to press the issue.

In 2004, Mayor Gavin Newsome ruffled feathers when he let gay couples marry on the steps of San Francisco City Hall.

This was shortly after “activist judges� made Massachusetts the first state to allow legally-recognized gay marriages.

While some saw these as steps in the right direction, others like me attributed this to why voters in 11 states passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage that year. We felt it was too far, too fast and — even worse — believed these noble gestures may have been directly related to the reelection of George W. Bush. A CNN exit poll showed that “moral issues� topped the list of why

voters came out for the 2004 election — above jobs and slightly above the Iraq war.

Three years later, most Americans are still not ready to grant marriage rights to same-sex couples.

Last August, a survey released by The Pew Research Center found that 54 percent favor civil unions. Call it marriage, and that figure drops to 35 percent. Even those who support gay marriage are on the fence about whether or not now is the time to be pushing for it. Only 51 percent of supporters believe we should.

This doesn’t mean we should drop the issue altogether. But might we at least consider letting it rest until next November? Not doing so may result in our losing not only another election, but even more federal rights. After all, the same candidates who said they were not comfortable with the word “marriage� last Thursday also confirmed their support for things like our right to adopt, overturning “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell� and most spoke in favor of civil unions.

In spite of setbacks, gay Americans have made noteworthy political and social progress in recent years. Some forget that just 10 years ago Ellen DeGeneres caused a national frenzy when she “came out� on her sitcom. Ratings plummeted.

Advertisers yanked their spots. And the show was soon canned.

Today, Ellen’s daytime talk show has won Emmy’s and is one of television’s most viewed. Gay characters also have a strong presence on cable and broadcast networks, including a gay couple who will move to Wisteria Lane (Desperate Housewives) this fall.

In Massachusetts, gay couples can marry and in four other states, our civil unions are legally recognized. Earlier this year a poll from Harris Interactive showed that 55 percent of Americans believe we should be allowed to serve our military without hiding our sexual identity.

And support for gay adoption rights has grown steadily during the past decade.

My fear is that if this divisive issue continues to define our current civil rights struggle, especially during this already volatile election year, the end result will again be a “moral values� President, one conservatives trust to uphold their ideals. And if “gay marriage now� means repeating what happened in 2004, this gay American will take civil unions any day. After all, if we aren’t careful we might end up with someone like Mitt Romney, just as conservative as our current President, but — quite possibly — a whole lot smarter. Q

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Load of Bullshattuck An Age-Old Question

BY RYAN SHATTUCK RYAN@QSALTLAKE.COM

At 969 years old, I can’t imagine that Methuselah — who lived to be 12.1 times older than the average American and 2.3 times older than Larry King — was too picky about the men he dated. Even in Biblical times, I’m guessing, it was generally understood that gay dating life ends after 30. Being left out of the dating world for another 50 years — or 939 — would be quite lonely. Which, as Methuselah admits in Genesis 5:27, “is kind of a bitch.”

Why is the gay community so fascinated with eternal youth? So many of us turn up our noses at anyone who fulfills the AARP’s membership requirement of being able to name the best episode of Matlock. Considering how often younger gay men will not talk to — let alone date — older gay men, one feels prompted to ask: if we wouldn’t judge someone according to race, why would we judge someone according to age?

Potential friendships, relationships and other opportunities are often overlooked simply because a guy is old enough to remember the “Cougar” in John Mellencamp — or John Mellencamp in the first place.

Do we date similar people because we find them attractive, or because we feel we have no other choice? Whether at the grocery store, movie theatre or community retirement home, people tend to date others who look like them. If modern society agrees that being a gay man isn’t a choice, society can also agree that not finding every Tom, Dick and Hairy older man attractive isn’t a choice, either.

Choosing not to have a conversation with 51-year-old Nathan Lane makes me ageist; choosing not to date 51-year-old Nathan Lane because he starred in Isn’t She Great makes me normal.

But is it true that younger men are never attracted to older men? If this were the case, it would not be possible for Web sites such as daddyhunt.com, gaymaturedating.com and nakedpicturesofcharltonheston.com to be such successful sites. Christopher Turner, founder of daddyhunt.com, said in a recent interview with the San Francisco Chronicle: “I think when people see a young man with an older guy, they think ‘Sugar Daddy.’ But one thing people don’t see is that a lot of people

Mountain Meadows Mascara Food for Thought

BY RUBY RIDGE RUBY@QSALTLAKE.COM

Prepare yourselves, darlings, and gird your loins because I’m about to wax nostalgia. Last Sunday, Mr. Ridge and I were driving down State Street and decided to stop at one of our favorite blue-collar breakfast spots, the Grecian Gardens. This comfy place is everything the antiseptic and soulless International House of Pancakes isn’t.

Grecian Gardens serves affordable

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comfort food in a wonderfully tawdry building owned by a Greek family who has worked there for decades.

It’s also closed.

I was so bummed, petals, because Grecian Gardens was one of the last remaining bastions of “authenticity” remaining in the city, and they made a mean lamb shank. Don’t get me wrong, pumpkins. Formula cafes and franchise

If a Chili’s falls down in a forest does anyone hear ... or really care? restaurants serve their purpose, but I have to ask myself, “if a Chili’s falls down in a forest does anyone hear ... or really care?”

Grieving got me thinking about the injustice that abounds in the universe, how dark forces of evil conspire to destroy goodness and blot out the light, and how much I really despise the Salt Lake Tribune’s food critic. No, not Vanessa Chang (who used to write for Q), the other one, Mary Brown Malouf, who, based upon her venomous, soul-destroying reviews is actually a Sith Lord armed with a napkin and a Michelin Guide. Granted kittens, I don’t know a good white wine from nail polish remover, but I do eat a lot (OK, an awful lot), and if a heightened level of discernment requires becoming a hateful, negative critic, then I am completely happy in my state of epicurean ignorance.

As someone who believes that mac and cheese is the work of a true and loving God, let me share a few of my favor-

have a serious attraction to older men — whether it’s physical, emotional, intellectual — and feel more comfortable in relationships with older men.” Turner understands that while some younger gay men aren’t attracted to older gay men, many genuinely are. He would know; his husband is none other than Armistead Maupin, 27 years his senior.

It’s true that ageism, like racism and sexism, is one of those “isms” that reverberate throughout society with the same tenacity as a dancing kitten YouTube video. Or herpes. As Latino gay activist Miguel Bustos once pointed out, “Racism, sexism, ageism and elitism in our LGBTQ community are alive and well.” Then again, one may notice Bustos doesn’t mention uglyism, thus proving that even he is a discriminating dater.

Ageism in the gay community is real, but we must continue to be particular about our sexual proclivity. We date people of the same sex because we find them attractive; we do so because we are homosexual and not homoequalopportunity.

Just ask Methuselah. Q Ryan Shattuck is a freelance writer, a University of Utah student, and is old enough to remember when Mitt Romney was proabortion, Michael Jackson was popular, and Ansel Adams only photographed in blackand-white. A version of this column will soon appear in The Advocate.

ite grazing places that will never make it into Ms. Malouf’s rarefied orbit. For a religious experience, try an avocado and turkey sandwich (or a chicken pot pie) at the Coachman on State Street, or a mushroom swiss burger at Millie’s Burgers in Sugar House, or for that matter ANYTHING with eggs at one of the eight Jim’s Family Restaurants (love those Greek diners, love em, love em, love em!). For Sunday brunch, I suggest Salt Lake Pizza and Pasta in Sugar House. I love this place. It’s small, cozy, has great food and totally relaxed on the weekends (they also advertise in Q, God love ‘em).

One of my favorite time warps is Virg’s Café in Erda. Muffins, this little slice of white trash heaven has platebusting breakfasts that can even fill up this big girl! And the good news for folks afraid of traveling to Tooele County for sausage links and bacon: There is a new Virg’s located in a deserted Wingers just off Redwood Road in Taylorsville (right across from the Old Spaghetti Factory).

It’s a little weird to get to, but cherubs, make the effort to support them. We need more places like this, and it’s a pain driving all the way to the Spring Chicken Inn in Wanship. But I still do it two or three times a year.

Speaking of support and survival, the new Café Marmalade has opened up in the Pride Center’s lower floor. Now, I know 99.999 percent of you are never in that building, but please make the effort to support the café. Until the area gentrifies, becomes ultra-gay (and the clock is definitely ticking on that) and gets a Starbucks on every corner, this brave little coffee shop is a glimmer of local hope. They also make a mean iced coffee.

So remember petals, get out there and enjoy the local and tawdry, because one day McGriddles and overpriced Applebee’s salads may be all that remain.

And Mary Brown Malouf will weep.

Ciao, babies! Q

Ruth Hackford-Peer Overlap by ruth hackford-peer ruth@qsaltlake.com

The beginning of my relationship with my partner overlapped with the end of her relationship with her boyfriend. That’s a nice way of saying I was a homewrecker who destroyed a relationship and left Kali — the couple’s chocolate lab — the product of a broken home. Kim was a sexy, brilliant, sexually confused college senior. I was a sexy, brilliant, sexually confused first year graduate student. It was a perfect match.

The way Kim tells the story, our relationship began when I took her to Utah, offered her endless amounts of my dad’s homemade wine and kissed her. Her account, which is made up of factual information, however leaves the wrong message entirely. The trip wasn’t designed to be some love-nest vacation. The kiss wasn’t a product of some well-executed plan (I had a little of that homemade wine myself, you know). It isn’t like I should be held fully responsible for such details; it does take two to tango.

Several weeks after the “kiss,� Kim still hadn’t officially broken it off with her boyfriend. The thought of being “gay� and being “out� terrified both of us. Folks — Boyfriend included — were already noticing how much time we were spending together. Breaking up with Boyfriend would most certainly be “outing� ourselves, and we had no desire for that. It wasn’t like we thought we were in it for life. Actually, we

weren’t sure what we were in for, there down,� then started shaking me as if I was so much self-loathing, denial and lies. were still asleep. “Get up. Get dressed.

We weren’t even honest with ourselves, Guess who’s downstairs?� Epithets were so there was no way we could have been uttered. Undergarments were found. A honest with anyone else. Which is why the plan was launched. relationship between Kim and Boyfriend I was to walk to the lobby with Kim lingered. He was a nice guy, safe, and and while she cut right to the front door, Kim did love him — as I was to go down the much as any lifer lesbo side hall to my own could love a man. In orwing of the dorm. I’d der to keep up appearThat’s a nice way of saying avoid being seen, and ances, avoid gossip, Kim promised to seal I was a homewrecker who the break-up the next yet still find time with each other, our lives morning. destroyed a relationship became a sordid affair.

But someone let and left Kali — the couple’s Boyfriend in the front And Boyfriend was kept in the picture. door. Even now, I’d chocolate lab — the One night, Boyreally like to know product of a broken home. who, because I’d have friend had to work late and we took this as a some words to say to perfect opportunity the person. Even now, to get together for a 11 years later, I still movie and some ... let’s say cuddles. Some cannot understand such idiocy — and nights, he’d come to Kim’s residence not just because I got busted. I have no hall to say good night before heading idea why anyone would let a random man off-campus to his own apartment — one into a women’s residence hall at four in they shared the previous year. I offer this the morning. But that is exactly what only to show that the relationship had occurred. Kim and I, disheveled and lookendured some strife even before I was in ing as guilty as we were, came down the the picture. Indeed, Kim chose to move stairs right as Boyfriend came around the back onto campus hoping that some of corner. I had to pass right by him before I these issues would be resolved by not could cut out the side hall. living together. The residence hall locked At the time, I was proud of my quick down after 10:00 p.m., so Boyfriend would wit. By the next morning, Kim made sure often call Kim from the phone outside I regretted my callousness and cowardice. the dormitory when he got off work and she’d run down to let him in. He called earlier this particular night to tell her that he had the late shift and wouldn’t be stopping by.

Later, the telephone jolted me awake.

Kim groggily answered it, muttered something to the effect of “be right

As he walked toward us with disappointment, anger and frustration in his eyes, I cattily retorted, “Your turn!� before running like hell.

Not once as I ran did I think of the situation I’d just left Kim having to explain.

Not once as I ran did I think of Boyfriend and his feelings.

Not once did I think of anything except how funny I thought I was.

Hours later, I understood that I made Kim look like a harlot. I understood that I disregarded a hurt man’s feelings. I understood that my humor could have left Kim in an unsafe situation. I understood that I was a coward.

Within the hour, I became the second person with whom Kim broke off a relationship. Believe me, I understood.

Eventually, Kim and I did end up together. But I never did get to clear the air with Boyfriend. That is, until recently.

It’s sort of a long story about how we got reacquainted after so long, but to keep it short, I got an e-mail from him.

I wrote back with a full blown apology.

I took responsibility for much more than the “your turn� comment. And, I asked for forgiveness. He wrote back that my apology — even after all these years — meant a lot.

I made peace this week with a guy I had wronged. The weight of guilt has been lifted from my shoulders. All this and I got the girl! Q

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Lambda History Crime and (Lack of) Punishment

by Ben Williams ben@qsaltlake.com

By a show of hands, how many of you have been physically assaulted for being gay? Now who’s been verbally assaulted? Wow, look at all those hands! As I suspected, all of us have been called faggot, dyke or queer at one time or another, and not always by our best friends.

Sometimes it’s necessary to look back to see the incremental changes in how gay folks are treated today as opposed to in the past. Thirty years ago this month, the feds officially quit bashing us when the Internal Revenue Service, in all their munificence decreed that gay non-profit educational and charitable organizations no longer had to run the disclaimer “homosexuality is a sickness, disturbance or disease pathology” in order to receive full tax-exempt status. Can you imagine walking into the Pride Center and seeing a sign in small

print saying, “Homosexuality is a sickness, disturbance or disease pathology?” We can all thank President Jimmy Carter’s administration for that (he was a Democrat, by the way).

Also, thirty years ago this month, the Legal Affairs Committee of Salt Lake Coalition for Human Rights published an important study. It found that just five police officers made 50 percent of arrests for “lascivious and disorderly conduct” in Salt Lake from January to August 1997. The report also showed that none of the arrests were the result of public complaint and no one was present at the time of the arrests other than the officers and the offenders. Many men where entrapped in compromising situations with the arresting officer’s word as the sole evidence. It would take 10 years before the gay community’s political arm could persuade the Salt Lake City Council to do something about it. In August 1987, the council unanimously agreed to pass a revision of city ordnance Sec 32-2-1, regarding sexual intercourse-for-hire and lewd acts. The change placed the burden of proof on the arresting officers and prosecutors rather than the defendants. These changes were made due to the gay community’s concerns that police were arresting gay men for simply holding hands and harassing members of the gay community parked at Memory Grove by citing them for license plate viola-

tions.

While official gay bashing may be ending, I wonder if any progress is being made on an individual level over the issue of assault? I have been attacked three times in my life: Once in 1976 in Provo when someone kicked in the side of my car; once in 1983 in Santa Ana, Calif. when someone threw a rock through my rear window; and once on a hot August night in Salt Lake City. Bear with me as I cite an excerpt from my journal.

Aug. 30, 1987: “Mike Anderson, Jeff Partain, Brent Fotheringham and I were out at 3:30 a.m. on Broadway and Main Streets. Lots of people were out on this last weekend before school started on Monday. Anyway, we are out having fun — still slightly drunk, singing show tunes, oblivious to any danger. Salt Lake is so pure, so safe, even at 3:30 a.m.

So, we were standing in front of Broadway Music Store and feeling tired, and I sat down on a concrete bench. I looked out at the street, then back at Jeff Partain. Suddenly, I see this guy hitting him in the face and calling him “faggot!” Then the long-haired kid ran over and surprised Mike with an upper cut to the nose.

I just went berserk. I screamed, “You dumb-ass fucker! What the hell do you think you’re doing, you bastard?” I took after him running. He turned around and said, “Come for me, faggot,” before he charged me, legs kicking, hands out like he knew karate. But I didn’t care; I was enraged. I dove on top of him, pinned his arm behind him, and pulled his long hair so hard his head snapped back. I then threw him down on the concrete sidewalk. I wrestled him down and kept screaming at him, “You bastard!” I really don’t remember if I hit him or anything, because it all happened so fast and my adrenaline was rushing like mad. However, later I had a goose egg-sized bump on my forehead and my left hands had cuts across the knuckles. I am not sure whether I got those from hitting him or scraping my hand on the sidewalk as I pulled him down.

While I had him on the ground, Mike, after recovering from the stunning blow, grabbed the kid’s bike and was going to smash him with it. But then these two other guys, who had been with this asshole, stopped Mike, and it is just as well. We are better people. But I told the basher that if he wanted his bike back, he’d better get the hell out of there.

He gave up struggling and we let him ride off, with him shouting “faggots!” back at us. I was so angry I yelled at the top of my lungs back at him: “You’re the fag! Coming here trying to prove your masculinity, you piss-ass bastard! You are the fag!” I was totally out of it.

Strange though, it was not in us to hit him once he was down. Truly, we are a gentle angry people.

We found that Jeff Partain was okay, just stunned.

Everything happened so fast that Brent never had a chance to respond to the situation. It’s something you don’t expect to happen. No, that’s not exactly correct.

We do expect to be attacked because we are gay, but when it happens, it’s still a shock.

Later, some other gay men who had witnessed the attack on us came over. Bob Childers said that he knew this guy was looking for trouble and had overheard him tell his friends he had a knife.

Finally, at about 4:00 a.m., this female cop pulled up next to us. We were still shaken from the attack when she said, “Take the party home.” I looked right at her and told her, “We have just been attacked!” She then had the nerve to say she recognized the description of the dude, and that she wished we would have apprehended him and turned him over, because yesterday he had hit someone with a rock and put him in the hospital.

Earlier, I had seen three cop cars cruising around the block hassling gays who were out late. But when we were being bashed not one of them came around. What really disgusted me is that if the cops had this guy’s description, why didn’t those cops, who were hassling gays for talking on the corner, spot him? He was not hard to miss: A kid about 17 years old with long, black stringy hair on a land cruiser bike, which he rode around the block several times before the attack.

Well, I’m fine now, thanks for asking. After all, it was 20 years ago. Back then, we could report attacks to the Anti-Violence Project (founded by QSaltLake owner Michael Aaron), even though we knew we would be just another statistic. There was not much justice back then. Is there any more today? I don’t know. I don’t go walking out with my friends at 3:30 a.m. anymore. The terrorists have won. Q

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Queer Gnosis Kissing the Damned

By Troy Williams troy@qsaltlake.com

The following is an excerpt from a talk given on Aug. 10 at the Sunstone Theological Symposium. The panel was titled, “Kissing the Damned: Embracing a Queer-Positive Sexuality in the Heart of Zion.�

We are here today to share stories of men and women who have come out of the Mormon tradition to embrace a queer-positive sexuality and world-view.

Despite what the church and many other anti-gay activists preach, queers can passionately embrace their sexuality and live successful, joyful and yes, even spiritual lives.

Now, I was not always so confidant. I was once a timid kid filled with fear, self-

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loathing and sexual anxiety.

Freud was right on about sublimation: I grew up terrified of my sexuality. I returned from my mission and became Turbo-Mormon — and by that I mean a real freak. In order to prove my righteousness, I followed the teachings of then-prophet Ezra Taft Benson to the patriotic extreme and started volunteering for the Eagle Forum. Yes, it’s true. I, Troy Williams, that apostate super fag producer of liberal talk radio, used to hang with Gayle Ruzicka!

It’s funny where self-loathing will take you.

But you know, I couldn’t stomach the Eagle Forum long. The pinko-green feminist queen was just busting to emerge.

But still I continued to sublimate my libido in other ways. I once fasted for five days to know if Mormonism’s claims were true. Five days without food! Who does that? I mean, true, that was way back before The Secret, and I didn’t know how else to attract my desires, but still. It was way over the top, but it worked. Every spiritual witness, every gut instinct

kept screaming at me, “Get the hell out of the church! Your emotional and spiritual survival depends on it!�

And so I did.

I have felt gay desire since I was a little kid. And I have also felt a deep connection to that unseen presence that many people call “God.� These two strong impulses were entwined together. They co-existed in my childhood but were severed in adolescence.

I remember believing that I would die without ever knowing what it was like to fall in love. That scared me. I don’t care what the church says about life-long celibacy: You simply cannot mature and grow emotionally without physical and sexual intimacy. Prolonged sexual abstinence stunts your emotional growth. Repression messes with your mind. Sharing our bodies is vital to our psychological, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. And without the fulfillment of this primal, basic need, I had become a painful wreck of a human being.

And I thought, to hell with this! No more extremism. I want to experience

love. And that’s when I met my first boyfriend. He was a tall, handsome, gentle guy who I met in college. We became friends and started hanging out — and then we started “hanging out� — which led to making out, which resulted in my first full-on sexual experience with a man, and at long last, my first love. I was 16 again for the first time.

I noticed something profoundly different about this guy. He didn’t have a religious background. His parents accepted him. He actually loved being gay and he never wanted to change. If there was a pill to make you straight, he wouldn’t take it. He saw being gay as a gift, and he taught me how to deeply love that which I feared so much.

The things within us that are the most terrifying are often the things that are the most powerful. Joseph Campbell said, “My definition of a devil is a god who has not been recognized. That is to say, it is a power in you to which you have not given expression, and you push it back. And then, like all repressed energy, it builds up and becomes completely dangerous.�

And my inner demon was dangerous.

But facing it, embracing it — loving it — was life-transforming. As Prospero says of Caliban, “This thing of darkness, I acknowledge mine.� Jesus says in the The Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.�

And when I hear of gay kids committing suicide or married men having risky gay sex on the down low, I know that can be true.

The church requires gay people to live celibate lives to be included in full fellowship. They want docile and obedient eunuchs in their pews. With so many creative mavericks exiled from the fold, it’s no wonder LDS culture suffers.

Mormon music, Mormon art, Mormon theology, even Mormon cuisine have all become painfully bland and uninspired.

Is it any wonder why retention is such a massive problem? In the 21st Century, misogynistic, homophobic patriarchy is no longer inspiring.

I want a theology that demands social justice and a congregation that denounces war and rallies for peace. I desire a spirituality that takes me to the edge of life — that expands my capacity to love the outsider — and that celebrates the beauty of intimate queer sexuality. I desire a faith that can include and embrace all people.

LDS leaders describe homosexuality with pejorative terms like “affliction� or “inclination.� They are blind seers. I prefer adjectives like “gifted� and “blessed.�

I now so love my life, and queer sexuality is indeed a blessing from God. We must awaken our body and soul to this sensual-sexual-spiritual world. We must love the condemned while embracing our darkest secret fears. Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls sums it up in her queer anthem, “Fugitive�: I’m harboring a fugitive, defector of a kind, and she lives in my soul and drinks of my wine and I’d give my last breath to keep us alive

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Equality Utah brings home a successful lesbian activist with a positive message for their annual Allies Dinner

by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.co

A

s executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, Kate Kendell is an obvious choice for keynote speaker at the Sixth Annual Utah Equality Allies Dinner.

It’s not every activist who can chair a national legal organization that takes on cases involving gay and lesbian families, homophobia in sports and even the rights of the elderly.

It’s not every activist who can boast a connection to Utah while smiling, either.

Best remembered these days for representing plaintiff Keri Jones in the landmark custody case Jones v. Barlow, Kendell has resided in sunny San Francisco since leaving her position as an ACLU of

Utah staff attorney in 1994. Though she now defends gay rights from the Bay State, much of her family is still in the Beehive State.

“In many ways, I’ll always call Utah home,” she says.

The oldest of three children born to a staunch Mormon family, Kendell spent what she describes as a “pretty typical childhood” at the foot of North Ogden’s Ben Lomond Peak. Kendell spent her days exploring the foothills on foot and bike before the bulldozers had their way.

“Now the place is covered with houses and subdivisions, but when I was growing up there was scrub oak, rocks and snakes,” she remembers.

Although Kendell formed her most intense relationships with female friends, she says she had no sense of herself as gay until college. At age 19 she came out “to myself and a small circle of friends” while pursuing her undergraduate degree at Weber State University. Two years later, she decided to tell her family.

“I was very lucky to be supported by [my mother], and my siblings and even my dad,” she says.

Kendell gravitated toward courses that had a “social justice focus” while pursuing a law degree at the University of Utah, but took a job with a firm specializing in corporate law when she graduated in 1988. Although she liked her work, social justice was never far from her mind. Then, while working in her office one day, she saw something that changed life: the ACLU of Utah’s ad for a staff attorney in an issue of Utah Bar Journal.

“As soon as I saw it, I just knew it was the job I had to have,” Kendell remembers. She sent out her resume and landed her dream job shortly after. Under executive directors Michelle Parish (1989–93) and Carol Gnade (1993–2002), Kendell tackled a number of landmark cases in such areas as free speech, gay rights and pro-choice issues.

One case that stands out for Kendell involved her stepsister, Sandra Henry. In 1988, Henry and a number of other inmates brought a class-action suit against Utah Department of Corrections charging that the prison had denied them medical care. An AIDS patient, Henry said she was denied medication to prevent complications created by the disease. According to Kendell, this suit and a number of others brought in the late 1980s were responsible for bringing about changes in the health care for Utah prisoners that continue today, including a mental health care wing at the Utah State Prison.

The roots of Kendell’s western migration can be traced to the ACLU’s 1993 annual conference in Atlanta, Ga. Here, Kendell met her partner Sandy, who was an NCLR board member.

“We met, fell in love, and I felt it was easier for me to move than to make her, as an African-American lesbian, move to Utah,” she laughs. When a position at NCLR opened up, Sandy slipped her girlfriend the job announcement. Kendell has been working there ever since. She took over as executive director in 1996, and says she’s proud to be a part of the organization’s 30-year history of exemplary work for the gay community, and part of a team she describes as “fabulous.”

“While the buck stops on my desk, there is a huge cadre of folks doing ground work who make our work possible,” she said. “They move the agenda forward.”

But in 2004, the buck really did stop with Kendell when NLCR (along with local attorney Lauren Barros) took up the case of a Utah lesbian locked in a devastating custody battle. The story is a familiar one for many Utahns concerned about the rights of non-biological parents. In 2001, Keri Jones and thenpartner Cheryl Barlow conceived a daughter through artificial insemination. When their relationship of three years came to an end, Barlow, the biological mother, became an evangelical Christian and no longer identified as a lesbian. She also did not want Jones to have access to their daughter. Jones sued, and a Third Circuit judge initially granted her visita-

tion rights and ordered her to pay child support under the common law doctrine of “in loco parentis” — meaning Jones had rights and responsibilities because she had played a parent-like role in the girl’s life.

The legal battle that followed made national headlines and ended in February, when the Utah Supreme Court ruled that Utah law couldn’t grant visitation rights against a biological parent’s wishes, even if the person seeking visitation had a parent-like relationship with the child. Jones recently announced she would not appeal the decision.

Whether arguing for Jones’ parental rights before the Utah Supreme Court in 2005 or to the press, Kendell did so eloquently, particularly when then case inspired a bill in the 2006 legislative session. Introduced by then-State Rep. LaVar Christensen, H.B. 148 sought to modify the section of Utah law dealing with the establishment of “in loco parentis” when it went against the known wishes of a biological parent or child.

Kendell called the bill a “hysterical attack” on gay parents that would have dire ramifications for parents of all orientations.

Under H.B. 148 the straight sister of a straight, single mother who died in a traffic accident “would have no more claim to step in and now be considered the parent of her sister’s child than a stranger,” Kendell said in Feb. 2006.

“That sister would have to go through the same kind of adoption proceedings as a stranger seeking to adopt the child, meaning the child would be subjected not only to the tragedy of losing his or her parent, but to foster care, hearings, and the incredible trauma that uncertainty would create.”

“There has to be some check on this knee-jerk reaction of legislators, particularly in Utah. It is appalling what the legislature gets away with there, from the [ban on gay couples adopting children] to this. No one actually cares about the children in these situations; all they care about, and the only

agenda, is ‘how much can we make gay people miserable?’ It is the height of immorality that this agenda is allowed to rule the day.”

Despite gay-rights losses such as the Jones v. Barlow ruling, the state’s constitutional ban on same-sex marriage and what she calls “the ongoing threat posed by a very conservative and reactionary legislature,” Kendell says that Utah gay-rights activists and their allies have a lot to be proud of.

“City laws recognize the existence of gay people, there are openly gay elected officials, there is a state-wide LGBT political organization, Salt Lake City’s two-term Mayor is very open in his support of the LGBT community, more people are out than ever before, there is an awareness that LGBT people are a part of the fabric of the community,” she says.

It is on these developments, and not the setbacks, that Kendell says she will focus in her speech at the Allies Dinner.

“Whenever I come to speak in Utah, what I want to focus on is the fact that the glass is truly half full,” she says.

“It’s difficult to be progressive and lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender and live in Utah. I understand how politically repressive this state can feel, and there have been serious losses. But as with any civil rights struggle, there are dark days and disappointments.

“But we are moving forward. I want to give [Utahns] a national snapshot that puts what’s happening here in context.”

She also wants to congratulate Utah activists on a job well done.

“Things are changing in Salt Lake City and in Utah, and it’s because of their work,” she says. “They do the hard job of staying here and fighting the good fight.” Q Equality Utah’s sixth annual Allies Dinner will be held Aug. 29 in the Salt Palace’s Grand Ballroom. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. for cocktails, and dinner starts at 7:00 p.m. Tickets are $100 per person and $1,000 for a table of ten with all funds benefiting Equality Utah. For more information or to purchase tickets visit alliesdinner.org.

Equality Utah Presents Annual Allies Dinner be given to The Right Reverand Carolyn Tanner Irish, The Episcopal Diocese of Utah “for her outstanding work in support of LGBT people and their roles in the Episcopal Church,” explained Thompson.

Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon will receive an award “for his commitment to a government accessible to all citizens and for the priority he has placed on promoting diversity,” according to Thompson.

The final award will be given to Plan-B Theatre Company “for producing theater that is socially and politically conscious.”

The event takes place Wednesday, Aug. 29 beginning with a cocktail hour at 6:00 p.m. and dinner at 7:00 p.m.

Equality Utah Political Action Committee endorses candidates and supports their campaigns with volunteer efforts and financial contributions. Through the efforts of Equality Utah PAC, we are working to expand the number of fairminded elected officials in state and local government.

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As the Salt Lake City mayoral race is heading into the primaries, Equality Utah is hosting its sixth Allies Dinner at the Salt Palace Ballroom to raise money for candidates and programs of the group.

The group is hoping to attract 1200 dinner guests who share Equality Utah’s vision of a “fair & just Utah.” Tickets are $100 and will be available at the door or online at alliesdinner.org. Dress is “sharp,” but not necessarily formal. Previous guests have gone in anything from tuxes and dresses (yes, including men) to dress shirt and slacks.

The guest speaker will be Kate Kendall, National Center for Lesbian Rights Executive Director.

“We wanted someone on the national scene who had an intimate understanding of life in Utah,” executive director Mike Thompson said of the group’s choice of Kendell to keynote the dinner.

“We’re certain she will inspire our guests to Be the Change we wish to see in Utah.”

“Allies for Equality” awards will also

Why settle for cable when you can have all of this

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UAF Village Summit Will Focus on Gay Men’s Health Gay men’s health will be the focus of The Village Summit, a weekend retreat to be held at the Jewish Community Center Aug. 24–26. Formerly known as “Invenio” and now in its sixth year, the revamped event is back with a new name, location and format.

Organizers plan to “enGAYge” participants’ minds, bodies and souls with compelling workshops addressing a full range of topics. Discussions on love and relationships, sexuality, political activism, spirituality and nutrition will accompany good food and social events, all designed to enhance participants’ knowledge and ability to make healthy life choices.

For more than 25 years, gay men have measured

their health with an HIV-centric frame of mind. Today, however, HIV is no longer necessarily considered a terminal illness. While HIV remains a primary concern for many gay men, the Village Summit will broaden the notion of health beyond HIV status with a holistic approach to gay men’s health.

The Village Summit’s aim is to advance the gay men’s health movement locally. For more information and to register visit ugmh.com or call Jeremiah Hansen at 487-2323 or 800-865-5004.

The Village Summit is a program of the Utah AIDS Foundation. —JV

Saturday

self-hatred, self-doubt, depression, dysfunction or suicide and generally keep us from totally accepting ourselves and the love in our soul which the world calls “homosexuality.” No matter how we try to ignore, bury or walk away from these condemning teachings, unless resolved, they often come back to haunt us.

One of the primary sources of these condemning teachings has been the scriptures – specifically the Bible. We will confront these “clobber passages” in the Bible and discover that they have been misused by Christians to condemn God’s GLBT children.

We will discover that when we read and understand what the scriptures actually say, instead of what religionists say they say, there is no valid scriptural justification to condemn us or our loving, committed relationships.

This discussion will be primarily from an LDS perspective but can be helpful to all who accept the Bible. We will focus on the religious issues which “haunt” you, or which your family uses against you. The purpose of this workshop is to empower you with tools to resolve your own self-doubt as well as equip you with concepts to share with your family or religious leaders. The reality is the scriptures which have traditionally been used as weapons against us are actually a powerful defense and ally for GLBT Christians.

9–10a How to Cook like the Perfect Manwife Conference Rm — Bryan Woolley The Way to a Man’s Heart is Through his Stomach. We’ll discuss living healthily by knowing how to shop for fresh ingredients and simple ways to prepare fresh foods. From food shopping strategies to basic culinary techniques, learn the lost art of creating a freshly cooked meal. Let’s say you have a pantry full of food and a refrigerator full of fresh produce.

How do you prepare a quick and romantic meal for your lover that doesn’t take all day and go straight to your waistline? We’ll also discuss how to manipulate recipe’s to accommodate different diets and nutritional concerns. iTrick Board Room — Aaron Cloward An interactive learning of two free computer resources (iTrick and MyBlackBook) which are used to track a person’s sex encounter history, habits, preferences, safe sex practices, sex contacts info and more. Both of the two computer programs offer incredibly fun and interesting data for gay men, but more especially could provide essential epidemiological information if an STI is ever contracted. The programs also encourage us to simply be more aware of our sex practices, which can be one of the most powerful disease prevention tools anyone can provide.

Moving Meditation West Patio — Andrea Kalvesmaki Please wear loose-fitting clothes and bring a yoga mat.

EDGU- The New Movement Life and Educational Coach, Andrea Kalvesmaki, invites you to join in the exploration of your life, your health, your body, and its natural movement with EDGU. Developed by Jeffrey “Page” Redman, EDGU (edge-you) “is evolutionary spinal maintenance.”

Isolating the movement of the spinal column with an open, flowing stance, EDGU balances body, mind and central nervous system while opening your spiritual core to explore.

What your Teachers Never Told You…The positive side of party drug usage.

Stage — Tyler Fisher, David Ferguson As people living in the United States and especially as gay men we are constantly bombarded with negative messages about drug use. Yet many of us or the ones we love use and this use does not reflect the negative messages we hear and see.

Instead, these messages drive us to mask and hide our usage. In this discussion we will examine substance use from a different angle.

10a-12p “What’s Love Got To Do With It?”: A Closer Look At Healthy Relationships Conference Rm — Chuck Diviney This workshop builds from the workshop conducted three years ago on healthy dating and relationships. The focus of this workshop is to help those in relationships (and seeking relationships) to understand how to keep the “fire” going. Examples of relationships discussed include family, friends, and sexual/romantic relationships.

Health & Fitness: It’s More Than Protein Shakes and Treadmills Stage — John Cottrell This will be an interactive workshop that will focus on prioritizing health and fitness in the busy gay man’s life as well as provide specific tips that will help men reach their fitness goals. Getting “fit” is not just about hopping on the treadmill for 20 minutes or lifting weights for an hour. Being a healthy man is about how you live your life outside the gym. Are you living the “healthy life style?”

Take the test to find out! Discover the areas where you may need to spend a little more attention. We will also look at some fitness tips: efficient fat burning exercises, the function of food, vitamins and supplements, stress-reduction techniques, and much much more!

Overcoming Mormon/ Christian Roadblocks to Self-Acceptance Board Room — Clay Essig Growing up Gay or Bi in a highly religious culture, many of us have been taught things that leave us with deep spiritual, emotional or mental wounds that can foster

Express Yourself West Patio — Tony Ollerton MT-BC and Mary C. Stanley ATR-BC The purpose of this workshop is to educate on the holistic power of art and music therapy and to give individuals an opportunity to experience this fist hand, creating a group music and art piece.

The experiential portion of this presentation will focus on exploring the collective creative process in an effort to build community.

Relationships and the importance of the creative process in integrating the body, mind and soul will be addressed. Participants will walk away with a tangible product of their collaborative efforts.

1-2:30p Yes, I absolutely, definitely want to be in a relationship. I think.

George J. Limberakis Bring your thoughts, ideas and experiences to this discussion of relationship ambivalence. There are lots of reasons to be in a relationship and lots of reasons not to. Do I engage in relationship “Approach/Avoidance Behavior?”

Whether you are single, a newly”wed” or an old “married,” we all have our thoughts about relationships. Let’s share them and gain some clarity on this complicated issue.

George J. Limberakis is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Salt Lake City. He holds a Master of Educational Psychology degree from the University of Utah. George served internships at the University of Utah Drug and Alcohol Abuse Clinic and the University of Utah Hospital Department of Psychiatry. His clinical experience includes treatment of substance abuse, domestic violence, anxiety, depression, addictive/compulsive behaviors and relationship issues with a specialization in gay and lesbian issues I ♥ Gay Sex Stage — Jerry Buie, John Contrell What do gay men think about sex? Images and Stereotypes are everywhere about what constitutes “healthy” sexuality, but are they accurate? What is the role sex plays in our lives, relationships, and definitions of who we are? Do we over emphasis sex? What is the balanced role of sexuality in our lives? How do we balance fun with safety? What do we look for in a sexual partner and how do we define a likely sexual candidate?

Gay Politics Board Room — Will Carlson What are the hot political issues facing Utah’s GLBT community right now? Equality Utah has been fighting for our rights and will update us on threats to our civil liberties and opportunities for equality in the coming legislative session. He will also offer suggestions on how we as individuals can work to influence public policy.

Intergenerational Dialog West Patio — Panel Discussion

What role should older gay men play in the lives of the younger gay generation? What are the best approaches to mentoring and what can young men teach their elders? Is it okay to have a sexual relationship with someone old enough to be your father? Our panel will get a discussion about these and many other questions relating to the ethics of intergenerational relationships.

2:45-4:15 Gay and Gray Conferrence Rm — George Limberakis A discussion for gay men in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond (and those who, one day, aspire to be).

What are the challenges unique to aging gay men? What do older gay men have to offer the gay community? Bring your thoughts and ideas to contribute to this discussion of a topic that many of us might rather ignore.

Be You: Celebrating Authenticity Stage — Jerry Buie How does one find their authentic self? The “closet” was established as an approach that facilitated presenting ourselves in “acceptable” manner to others, by appearing Heterosexual, with the notion that this is the only legitimate way in which to do life. We create facades and stories that appear to make ourselves acceptable to “others”. Many gay men attempt to pass for being something that is not real for us. Weather we are “in” or “out” of the closet we may find that we spend a significant amount of time living by other’s perspectives. We spend much of our lives chasing lies that we are not wealthy enough, muscular enough, social enough... or good enough. We get locked into a mentality of seeing ourselves as deficient as opposed to the multitude of assets we posses as gay men.

The Anatomy of Desire Board Rm — Tom Collins This presentation is a facilitator led discussion that allows participants to identify their own desires and investigate the beneficial as well as detrimental effects of those desires. Topics ranging from common flights of fancy to compulsions and obsessions will be discussed. The presenter will be placing a sexual slant on all discussion. A broad array of emotions may be stimulated throughout this discussion ranging from pleasurable flirtations to deep concerns of pathological behaviors. The anticipated outcome for a participant is the realization of the power (constructive and destructive) of desire. Despite the serious nature of some activities, an overall pleasurable experience is expected for all participants.

Mindfulness Meditation: An Antidote to Our Stressful Lives West Patio — Vicki Kennedy Overfelt, M.A. Please wear loose clothing and bring a yoga mat (we will have some extras available).

During this 90-minute, highly participatory session, we will explore several mindfulness practices that have helped thousands of people learn to respond rather than react to stress in ways that promote healthful coping skills. We’ll practice coming to our senses using our eyes, ears, nose, tongues, bodies, and minds and discuss how we can cultivate mindfulness and integrate it into our daily lives. As we open to the present moment, we will find a world rich in possibilities and learn how to skillfully use this awareness.

Whether you are new to the practice of mindfulness or have an existing practice, this session is an opportunity to further explore the benefits of mindfulness practice.

4:30-5:30 Yes, God did create Adam and Steve Stage — Rev. Kamrin Carver.

This presentation will be facilitated jointly with James Purpura in order to show the necessary dynamics associated with the presence of the gay man on this planet. We will be discussing how the gay man, not the woman, is the yin to the straight man’s yang, and how this unexplored truth holds the answers to one of our life’s most sought after questions…namely, why is it so hard for this world (and sometimes even me) to accept this thing called homosexuality?

Confessions of a Bareback Top and Other Bedtime Stories Board Rm — David Ferguson This provocative and interactive workshop examines how barebacking continues to be an issue for gay men. Whether you bareback or not, admit it or not, barebacking remains a divisive issue for the gay man in 2007.

This discussion will focus on the reasons we bareback, the reasons we don’t and all the reasons in between. At the end of the session, you will have had the opportunity to explore your own feelings and issues around barebacking and go back into the gay world armed with a renewed resolve to do what comes naturally in a safer way.

Self Defense West Patio — Rusty D. Isakson Mind, Body, and Spirit discussion; to include mindset, awareness, and preparation. Demonstration of defensive tactics. Reporting crimes such as same sex domestic violence, on-line dating issues/ becoming victims from activities.

Brief question and answer at the end.

Local Treatment for Facial Wasting In Loving Memory

BY WILLIAM FUNG-SCHWARZ, APRN, ANP-BC WILLIAM@RADIANCEUTAH.COM

The procedure is also FDA-approved for many other purposes, including correcting facial wrinkles, craniofacial augmentation (such as reconstructing part of the face after an accident) and even treating incontinence caused by stress.

Not everyone is a candidate for dermal fillers. To determine whether or not a patient is an appropriate candidate, he or she must go through a cosmetic consultation in which the practitioner assesses medical history (including any medications being taken) and the patient’s goals and expectations.

Mell Bailey

1962-2006 “Remembering the person I have loved allows me to slowly heal. Healing does not mean I will forget.

Actually, it means I will remember.”

—Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD

That quote is a perfect way to start this memorial.

A year ago my life changed in a way I never thought possible. You were taken away from all of us who knew and loved you way too soon. There are many projects you didn’t get to finish. I’m trying my best to help you get them done. There are many causes and charities you worked for. You’ve passed the torch to me now and I will continue to work for all those causes in your name. I’m fundraising like crazy! Your spirit is still alive and well. You have such a powerful impact on people and animals in life and death. You are truly larger than life!

Abe Lincoln once said, “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years!” Wow, did you ever pack a lot of life into your years!

I hope you are having a blast being reunited with all your loved ones and all of your beloved animals, especially our Sugar! Thank you for giving me the best years of my life. Thank you now for being my guardian angel. I always feel your presence. I will love you forever babe.

—Ang

Mell was my friend and one of my closest advocates. August 4th will be the one-year anniversary of her passing from this earth. I would like to pay tribute to Mell on this anniversary because she touched our community and so many individuals, causes and human endeavors.

On a personal note, I have missed Mell. She would call me from time to time just to inquire as to my well-being. Its funny sometimes, when you get as many phone calls as I do its about a task that is required from me or a job that needs to be initiated.

You know that is really okay, but when you get the phone calls wondering about your present journey in life, you appreciate it more than you could ever let on to anyone.

That was Mell; she cared deeply about the individual and their personal journey through life. She understood the soul and respected it. I will miss her, and as a community advocate, I must say that her presence is missed. She was bold and not afraid of life. I believe that she taught us all something about going fearlessly into our conflicts and confronting them with grace and courage.

You know Mell, I miss the late night phone calls, the laughter, and the bravado of wanting to approach an in-justice towards humanism with a mighty heart!

Journey on with your MIGHTY HEART! With Love and Respect, Kim Russo Emperor XXXI The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire

Serving the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community.

August 26, 2007

Stonebridge Golf Course Continental Breakfast, 18 holes of golf with cart Ditty bags, Prizes, Raffle and Lunch for all participants Online registration at www.utahpridecenter.org Contact Jennifer at 801.539.8800 x13 jennifer@utahpridecenter.org Sponsorship opportunities available.

Advertisers Make QSaltLake Possible. Please Support Them.

A U G U S T 16 , 2 0 0 7  I S S U E 8 4  Q S A LT L A K E  2 3

Scott, a music fan and DJ by profession, is a native of New York who suffers from HIV-related facial lipoatrophy, or the loss of the face’s fat cells. At age 33, he began to experience negative side effects of his antiretroviral medications, the class of drugs most commonly used to treat HIV. Losing volume and fat tissue from his face, Scott also began losing confidence in meeting new people and being in the club spotlight. His HIV Specialist recommended that he seek consultation for facial dermal fillers injections at a Manhattan medical spa.

“Some people want to look younger. As my face began to look more drawn I just wanted to look like I did before,” Scott said. “I also liked the idea that I could get into treatment and pretty much be done with it.” So Scott began investigating different dermal fillers and decided upon treatment with Radiesse.

“I left the doctor’s Before and after shots of a patient being treated for facial wasting. office and looked great right away,” Scott noted. “For the first time There are currently two patient assisin a long time my face matched my mood. tance programs in the United States for It was awesome.” people living with antiretroviral-associScott now feels good and looks like ated facial lipoatrophy. San Mateo, Calif.himself again, and he’s back to doing the based Bioform, Inc., a privately-held things he enjoys, like playing tennis. And, medical esthetics company, offers the yes, dancing at the club. Even now, two dermal filler called “Radiesse” (calcium years after his first injection, he says he’s hydroxyapatite) as part of their patient still getting comments about how great he assistance program. Dermik Aesthetics, looks. makers of Sculptura (poly-L lactic acid), Lipodystrophy syndrome, facial lipoatalso have a patient assistance program. rophy or more commonly “facial wastSculptura differs from Radiesse in that ing” can be caused by a wide range of the effects are not immediately apparent medical conditions. Medications, such as after injection. Sculptura also requires those used to treat HIV/AIDS, can cause more injections. It’s also important to loss or redistribution of subcutaneous fat remember that there are subtle differtissue, which helps give the face its round ences between dermal fillers, and not all shape. Loss of fat tissue on the face can of them are appropriate for people who change a person’s appearance drastically have HIV. by making it look “gaunt.” This is beIn a recent study published in The cause the places it usually effects are the Journal of Plastic and Reconstructive cheek temples, eye sockets and the area Surgery, researchers reported that “100 around the mouth. Facial wasting can percent of patients improved through 12 also worsen as the disease progresses. months” of treatment and “90 percent Basically, human skin has three layers: of patients maintained dermal filler imin descending order they are the epiprovement through 18 months.” Particidermis, dermis and hypodermis. Fat or pants in the Radiesse research study also adipose tissue exists mainly within the reported that they felt more confident lower hypodermis layer. This is the fat about their appearance, experienced a tissue that gets lost in facial wasting, and heightened quality of life and would recthe tissue that cosmetic dermal fillers ommend dermal fillers to others suffering attempt to replace. from facial lipoatrophy.

A physician, physician’s assistant or Unfortunately, outside of major metnurse practitioner can inject dermal ropolitan areas dermal filler companies fillers. have had a difficult time enrolling new Most fillers can be implanted through healthcare providers for their programs. a series of injections in two to four, In Salt Lake City only Radiance Medione-hour office visits. After the area is cal Spa currently offers the Radiesse for “numbed” with injected anesthetics, Facial Lipoatrophy program. Radiance a thin needle is used to implant small Medical Spa serves the Utah, Wyoming, quantities of dermal fillers into the areas Idaho, eastern Nevada, northern Arizona that have experienced fat loss. After the and western Colorado areas. dermal filler materials are injected, they To arrange for a confidential dermal fillers allow the individual’s body to start buildconsultation contact William Fung-Schwarz ing new tissue. After injection, tempoat Radiance Medical Spa at 746-7478. Walk-in rary side effects may include: bruising, clients are welcome at the downtown locaredness, discomfort, skin infections, tion, 363 South Fifth East in Salt Lake City. swelling, temporary lumpiness and a Clients may also contact William via e-mail sensation of “fullness” in the face. at william@radianceutah.com.

Mell Bailey

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Gay Geeks Geeks in

(Long-Distance) Love, Part 2 by joselle vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

In last issue’s column, we discussed the basics of online, long-distance relationships: how to stay safe when pursuing one and how to determine if such a relationship — which can often be difficult to maintain — would work for you. If you’re willing to brave long distance in everything from communication to dating and sexual activity, then this is your clip ’n’ save “Gay Geeks� of 2007.

Anyway, it will probably date better than hamsterdance.com, or anyone who still thinks making that site the home page on their co-workers’ computers is the funniest thing like ... ever.

Be honest with yourself and with others Just to reiterate from last column, if you’re the kind of person who needs a lot of face-to-face time with your sweetie (whether that be dating, having sex, or just being in each other’s presence), an online or long-distance relationship may not be for you. I can’t stress this enough, my geeky ones. I’ve had my heart broken many times by women who thought they were ready for the net thing, only to realize they weren’t — sometimes several months into the relationship. An “I’m just not ready or willing to do this, sorry� is much better said up front than after you’ve created sickeningly sweet nicknames for each other, or exchanged an “I love you� or two.

Do i make u hr0ny?

Don’t feel guilty or stupid if you and your sweetie like to engage in cybersex

Monogamy or Not Monogamy? That is the Question In the interest of full disclosure: I’m a monogamist. Blissfully so. The prospect of me ever having more than one boyfriend or girlfriend at the same time is about as remote as 1998’s Brimstone getting renewed (you remember Brimstone? John Glover’s show before he was Lionel Luther? Exactly.) If you’ve met someone who you just adore, but the distance is getting to one or both of you, an open relationship might work in your favor.

In my opinion, however, these have to be approached carefully. As fun as they may sound, open relationships aren’t suited for everybody. If you’re the kind of person who gets easily jealous, for example. Or if you develop a double standard that it’s OK for you to date other people, but not OK for your sweetie to do so. If your long-distance sweetie decides to pursue this route, please use caution. As always, self-awareness and honesty are key in avoiding broken hearts, misery and anger.

Now What was that about addictions?

There is a reason behind the stereotype of online relationships being an excuse to avoid ‘real world’ interactions, social, emotional and sexual: sometimes they are. Although the internet is a blessing for those of us who have trouble with face-to-face interactions or who simply prefer socializing online, it can also be a problem if an internet relationship becomes the center of your life. If you’re routinely missing work, school or other important commitments to spend time with your sweetie, if you’re frequently cancelling or turning down time with offline friends, if you do little more than have cybersex, then one or both of you might have an internet addiction. If this applies to one or both of you, it doesn’t make you bad, disgusting, inept or evil. It just makes you a person with a problem (you know, like all of us), and a problem that can be fixed.

Remember, having a successful online relationship is never about excluding other people and it isn’t about limiting yourself. A successful and healthy relationship will let you have friends, family and your own interests. It should also enhance these.

In part three, we’ll look at the most important part of a successful online relationship: what to do to move your relationship offline when you and your partner are ready. Q

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On care and feeding So you know what to expect. What now? Like any relationship, an online romance needs tender care and frequent feeding if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ever to develop, preferably daily. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just mean talking on instant messenger or waving to each other on Web cams. I mean calling each other fairly regularly (a few times a week is good), and visiting each other face-toface as frequently as possible.

For those times when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re geographically apart, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found that participating in online activities together are a great relationship boost. Moderate a chat room or mailing list together.

Keep a multi-media blog (public or private, depending on how comfortable you are with todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;what, me privacy?â&#x20AC;? culture) chronicling your relationship, including photos of places youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve visited together, snapshots of cards youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made for each other, endearing love notes, whatever you like. Check out the new World of Warcraft expansion pack together and go on raids. Nothing says â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love youâ&#x20AC;? quite like kicking the snot out of some Orcs on a Friday night.

The point is, it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter how â&#x20AC;&#x153;sillyâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;childishâ&#x20AC;? these things sound.

The point is to find something you and your sweetie like doing in the ether, and doing it no matter what non-geeky society has to say about it.

Yes, that is a double entendre.

or phone sex after youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotten to know each other (enough, at least, to know that s/he isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a teenager masquerading as a 30-year-old, for Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sake!) and as your relationship starts to progress. As long as this doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t become expensive or addictive (more about addictions later), both can be great ways of deepening a longdistance relationship, especially those that have lasted over a year. In our over-fleshed, over-stimulated culture, I think we often forget that the brain is the bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most sensitive and most inventive sexual organ. Take advantage of this!

Just make sure you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t type â&#x20AC;&#x153;OH YEAH BABY DO IT HARDER!!â&#x20AC;? in the wrong window while your guild is kicking some Orc arse, yeah? Unless that kind of thing really does turn you on. Or being embarrassed does.

2 6  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 4  A u g us t 16 , 2 0 0 7

The Gay Agenda

Toby Keith See Friday Aug. 3

YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

I just want to thank the QSaltLake softball team for their wonderful dedication and valiant effort this season. We definitely went down in a blaze of glory. To the players: Slim Jim, Cracker, Soy Sauce, Bloody Mary, Jugs, Chugs, Dil-Doug, Crouching Beaver, Boi Toy and myself, Teabagger, “We’re Hot!” Also, many kudos to our cheering squad, The Pussy Posse for never giving up on us. See our picture on page 28!

17FRIDAY Q Where you can be proud to be a ho’, Pocafello’s PrIdaho 2007 festivities kick off tonight with a Neon Party at Charly’s. Saturday beholds the pride celebration at Ross Park with fabulous drag performances, nationally known comedians and well-slurred speakers like Q’s very own Michael Aaron.

Come Sunday, a lovely picnic in the park will be spread further than your legs, baby.

Through Sunday, Aug. 19, Pocatello, Idaho.

Visit pridaho.org.

Q sWerve presents a new festival that will titillate your ... well, you can guess.

The first annual Women’s Red Rock Music Festival welcomes a baker’s dozen of sensational musicians such as Trace Wiren, Elise West, Lisa Marie and Gearl Jam. Not to mention some great arts & crafts booths, massage therapists and serene terrain.

5–10pm tonight & Noon-10pm Saturday, Robbers Roost, Torrey. Tickets $20/ Fri.–$30/Sat.–$40/2-day pass, redrockwomensfest.com.

Q Well, this season of the Pride Community Softball League has ended (except for the tournament this Saturday and Sunday), and team QSaltLake conquered the league ... by winning only one game. Anyhoo, the league is holding a PCSL Fundraiser tonight for next season. It’ll be a hoot ‘n holler’n good time, and some of you may even be handcuffed for your pleasure.

9pm, Paper Moon, a private club for members, 3737 S. State. Donations $5 at the door, 713-0678.

19SUNDAY Q So Michael and I are simply ecstatic about the new ride at Lagoon. We cannot wait to take a seat on the indestructable Wicker roller coaster ... I mean Wicked, Wicked roller coaster. This among a little pooling, a little miniature golf, a little bumper cars and gads of gays donned in red, what more could a girl ask for at Gay Lagoon Day. Get your back wet ... oh stop you perv, and congregate at the Pine Terrace for mingling and more.

11am–10pm, Lagoon, 375 Lagoon Drive, Farmington. Discount tickets available at Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South and Cafe Marmalade, 355 N. 300 West.

Q Dubbed the “the queen of folkability” and “the consummate storyteller,”

Nanci Griffith & Judy Collins respectively, bring their fascinating, Grammy award-winning folk music to the Big Stars, Bright Nights concert series in Deer Valley.

6pm, Snow Park Amphitheatre, 2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Deer Valley. Tickets $28, 435-655-3114 or parkcitytickets.com.

21TUESDAY Q Well dip me in molasses while I secretly pine over marrying my sister in the Temple and call me Donny Osmond.

That’s right, this should be a delightful night of pompous, self-indulgent drivel that will certainly test your gag reflex.

8pm, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $48–58, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Q If you undoubtedly choose to forego Donny, the highly entertaining pop group Fountains of Wayne are also in concert.

Remember the high schoolish be-bop pop song “Stacy’s Mom” from 2003, well I’m just waiting for her dad’s homoerotic tendencies to hit the airwaves next.

8pm The Depot, a private club for members, 400 W. South Temple. Tickets $16/ adv–$18/day of, 888-8499 or smithstix.com.

23THURSDAY Q Join the SLCC Community Writing Center for a fundraising bookfair and meet Brett Helquist, illustrator of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events as he leads a children’s drawing game from 6–6:30pm. He’ll also sign books from 6:30–8pm. From 7–8pm, hear local writers from the DiverseCity Writing Series share their work. Print a voucher from the web address below to benefit the center with a portion of your purchase.

6–9pm, Barnes & Noble Bookstore, 1104 E. 2100 South. Free, slcc.edu/cwc/ upcomingevents/#bookfair

24FRIDAY Q “How to Cook Like the Perfect Manwife,” “The Anatomy of Desire” and “God Created Adam & Steve” are just a few of the many topics discussed during the sixth annual Village Summit (formerly Invenio). Along with these compelling workshops are fabulous social events: ’80s Night Social, BBQ Pool Party, volleyball and football.

Times vary, through Sunday, Aug. 26, Jewish Community Center, 2 N. Medical Drive, UofU campus. Registration $30 includes meals, 487-2323 or ugmh.com.

Q The 10th annual Park City Jazz Festival opens today. This year’s artists include India Arie, David Sanborn, Take 5 and Fat Soul. Another inviting, cool weekend in Deer Valley is always

quite pleasurable ... do you concur? VIP packages and VIP lounge are available.

Times vary, through Sunday, Aug. 26, Snow Park Amphitheatre, 2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Deer Valley. Individual tickets start at $40, 435-940-1362 or parkcityjazz.org.

Q Many of you may not know it, but Linda Ronstadt is the diva of alternative country rock and folk music. Now in her early 60â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, the 11-time Grammywinning artist is still going strong touring and promoting a new album.

Her music stands the test of time, and is so diverse, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll hear a little pop and latin too. The performance benefits Regence Caring Foundation for Children. So check it out ... itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s for the kids, dammit.

8pm, Abaravanel Hall, 123 S. West Temple. Tickets $45â&#x20AC;&#x201C;65, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Q Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company presents a collaboration of works by John Allen, Juan Carlos Claudio and Jill Voorhees Edwards. The dancers hail from prestigious local, national and international companies. Momentum is a physically-challenging and emotionally-charged contemporary dance and media concert sure to curl your toes.

8pm, through Saturday, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

25SATURDAY Q If you happen to be in Bendover ... I mean Wendover this weekend, bending over or crap-ing or feeding it to a slot, may I suggest checking out Los Lonely Boys. These three brothers JoJo, Ringo and Henry make great rock â&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll music Texican style like the smash hit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heavenâ&#x20AC;? and one of my favorites â&#x20AC;&#x153;Oye Mamacita.â&#x20AC;?

8pm, Peppermill Concert Hall, 300 W. Wendover Blvd., Wendover, NV. Tickets $50â&#x20AC;&#x201C;80, 800-648-9660 or wendoverfun.com.

26SUNDAY Q One of the Utah Pride Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biggest and oddly entertaining events of the year, the Golf Classic: Drive for Diversity tees off with a continental breakfast, 18 holes of golf, a raffle, plus more. So grab your clubs and be a â&#x20AC;&#x153;tigerâ&#x20AC;? on the green. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be the one in swimming trunks with a bucket of water, constructing sand castles in the bunkers.

7am, Stonebridge Golf Course, 4415 Links Dr. Registration $95, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org.

29WEDNESDAY Q Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that time again to get that long overdue waxing and haircut, and to dress to the nines for the Equality Utah Allies Dinner. OK, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably just me. Anyhoo, Kate Kendall is this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s keynote speaker â&#x20AC;&#x201D; check out the cover story in this issue.

6pm, Grand Ballroom, Salt Palace, 100 S. West Temple. Tickets $100, 355-3479 or equalityutah.org.

AUG. 17â&#x20AC;&#x201C;19 PrIdaho, Pocatello, Idaho, pridaho.org AUG. 19 Lagoon Day, pride365.org Aug. 24â&#x20AC;&#x201C;26 The Village Summit, Jewish Community Center ugmh.com Aug. 26 Utah Pride Center Golf Classic, utahpride.org Aug. 29 Equality Utah Allies Dinner, Salt Palace, equalityutah.org

To join, come to a Thursday night rehearsal at 7:00pm at All Saints Episcopal Church, 17th South and Foothill and ask for Dennis.

See saltlakemenschoir.org for details.

Q The sexy, soulful Joss Stone takes the stage for yet another encapturing evening of the Big Stars, Bright Nigths concert series. This young, vibrant, engaging British artist is sure to bring down the house.

6pm, Snow Park Amphitheatre, 2250 Deer Valley Drive South, Deer Valley.

Tickets $43, 435-655-3114 or parkcitytickets.com

Upcoming Events

Aug. 28 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Josh Groban, Energy Solutions Arena Sep. 20 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Sinead Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Connor, Capitol Theatre Oct. 4 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The Cure, E Center Oct. 31 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Maroon 5, Energy Solutions Arena Nov. 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; B-52s, The Depot

Literary Guild saltlakemenschoir.org

SEPT. 9 Pride Community Softball Kaos Classic Tournament, Jordan Park leaguelineup.com/pcslutah

Nov. 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 Salt Lake Gay and Lesbian Film Festival saltfest.org

SEPT. 16 PWACU End of Summer BBQ, pwacu.org

Nov. 6 Election Day

SEPT. 27â&#x20AC;&#x201C;29 Out & Equal Workplace Summit 2007, Washington D.C. outandequal.org SEPT. 28â&#x20AC;&#x201C;29 Southern Utah Pride, Springdale southernutahpride.org SEPT. 28â&#x20AC;&#x201C;30 QVegas National Coming Out Day Weekend Festival ncodvegas.com OCT. 5 Salt Lake Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choir 25th Anniv. Fundraiser, Ladiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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Nov. 17 Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah Coronation, irconu.org DEC. 1 Red Ribbon Party, Hotel Monaco, utahaids.org DEC. 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 Salt Lake Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Choir 25th Anniversary Holiday Concert, First Baptist Church, ­ saltlakemenschoir.org If you would like your event considered for this list, email tony@­qsaltlake.com.

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AUG. 17-18 Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Redrock Music Fest, sWerve, Torrey, Utah redrockwomensfest.com

Some say tenors are divas.

We agree.

Come be a diva with us!

30THURSDAY

SAVETHEDATE THROUGH Oct. 20 Farmersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Market Pioneer Park Saturdays

We Need Tenors!

2 8 ď Ž Q S A LT L A K E ď Ž I S S U E 8 4 ď Ž A U G U S T 16 , 2 0 0 7

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Bam Bam and Celesteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Quakes with Queer Quirkiness

BY GINGER HARRIS

Margaret Cho and Bruce Daniels star in Bam Bam and Celeste, a quirky tale of friendship and perseverance that brims with hilarity while addressing the unpleasant realities of prejudice and ignorance.

Bam Bam (Daniels) and Celeste (Cho) are best friends who fit a classic description: put-down, small-town outcasts who talk about leaving but never do. From high school in the late 1980s to present day, the pair catch heat from their intolerant neighbors and peers, including their arch nemeses, prom-royalty-turnedstyle-gurus Jackie and Ryan. From the salon where they â&#x20AC;&#x153;maintain mullets,â&#x20AC;? the friends dream of a better life. Driven by the conviction that there must be more out there for them, the duo decide to seek the advice of a spacey psychic, whose â&#x20AC;&#x153;clairvoyanceâ&#x20AC;? takes them on a zany road trip to New York City to be contestants on Trading Faces, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite makeover show.â&#x20AC;? The chance discovery of a kindred spirit on the other end of the phone line gives the pair an edge, and soon theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on their way to realizing their dream.

But the drive is no walk in the park.

Celeste and Bam Bam encounter opposition at every turn, from racist gas station workers to a gang of homophobic hicks.

The insults are brutal; subtlety is lost on every one of their foes, especially once they reach the studio and confront their

high school enemies, whose high-end salon has garnered them enough acclaim to serve as judges of the makeover contest.

With the help of Celesteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slightly off but supportive mother Mommy (also played

by Cho), and a host of friends they meet along the way, the pair remain undaunted in their quest for a shot at stardom, and discover that their friendship, and each of them, is stronger than they knew.

Bam Bam and Celeste has all the charm of a lighthearted comedy with a focus on real-life injustice and the plight of the underdog. It mixes heavy issues with outrageous side-splitting humor and manages to pull it all off with minimal out-of-place corniness. Skillful cinematography coupled with a fitting soundtrack add smoothness to a limitpushing storyline, and the ability of the protagonists to maintain an even keel in the face of the most difficult kind of resistance is inspiring, indeed. Director Lorene Machado brings out the very best in the cast, achieving an air of whimsy in every scene that is sustained even in times of confrontation. This movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one-liners are priceless, with the humor touching on every manner of stereotype and poking fun at some of the more unpleasant aspects of modern society. Choâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s signature wit shines in scenes where her aggressors taunt her for her ethnicity and fashion sense, a hilarious originality she also brings to her alternate character, Mommy.

Many viewers will be able to relate to the 1987 versions of Bam Bam and Celeste and the high school environment in which the movie begins. The clothes, the music, and the portrayal of cliques, though over-the-top, are idiomatically on the mark. â&#x20AC;&#x153;High school is such its own world,â&#x20AC;? says Machado of the decision to include the scene in the film. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We all went to high school in the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, and we were all drawing from that outsider point of view.â&#x20AC;?

The film is one of several collaborations between Cho and Machado, with Cho contributing as producer and screenwriter.

The teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s collective ambition with the film was to â&#x20AC;&#x153;have some fun and hold up a mirror,â&#x20AC;? and Bam Bam and Celeste succeeds brilliantly in this effort. In it, racism and prejudice abound in absurd proportions, but in order to sustain the overall outrageousness of the film, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exactly the treatment it needs.

Audiences may find themselves squirming in their seats at the brutality of some remarks, but the fact that a reaction is warranted shows how out-of-place such discrimination is in a society that allegedly celebrates the individual.

Bam Bam and Celeste is a great trip. It employs just the right amount of outlandishness to make social commentary enjoyable on screen, for a change. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s different, it must be wrongâ&#x20AC;? mentality is all-too-familiar in contemporary America, and this film puts an original

spin on the classic quest to learn to love who you are in spite of what others have to say about it. The empowering final message is the perfect culmination of the personal journeys of two delightful misfits, who learn through adversity that your true friends come through for you when you really need them, and that to feel truly beautiful, you have to be true to yourself. Q

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Q Wheels Pride at the Pump

BY RYAN LEE As many Americans search high and low for the cheapest gas prices, Allen Cornelison fills the 27 gallons in his Dodge Durango at $3.19 per gallon without blinking an eye.

“I don’t even know what I paid for this today,” Cornelison, 26, said after filling up his SUV Wednesday.

If spending more than $80 per fill-up isn’t going to influence Cornelison’s gasoline-buying habits, it’s hard to imagine what will — and Cornelison admits nothing much does.

“I’m all about convenience — whatever’s close,” he said.

On this particular day, the most convenient gas station for Cornelison happens to be the Exxon station at the corner of Monroe Drive and Piedmont Road. While pumping gas, Cornelison is unaware of the oil company stockholders’ stubborn resistance to offering employment protections and benefits to its gay workers, and how gay organizations have been calling for a boycott against Exxon-Mobil for almost a decade.

Once informed, Cornelison admits it makes little difference to him.

“I’m ambivalent to it, I guess — it’s awful isn’t it,” Cornelison said. “I know, I’m just lazy. [A boycott] is a good idea if it was 100 percent effective, because you’re never going to get 100 percent participation.”

In some ways, Cornelison is part of Daryl Herrschaft’s worst nightmare. As director of the Workplace Project for the Human Rights Campaign, a national gay rights group, Herrschaft has spent years trying to convince Exxon-Mobil leaders to alter their policies, or risk losing gay consumers.

“Rather than really being able to have a demonstrable impact on their profits, we highlight Exxon-Mobil’s policies to educate consumers about what we expect from companies that expect us to buy their product,” Herrschaft said. “We’re not advising people to run out of gas before going to Exxon, but I think you will find a lot of people in the GLBT community who, when they’re driving down the road and they see a Shell and an Exxon, they’re going to pass the Exxon by.”

A Shell station is located directly across the street from the Exxon Cornelison visited Wednesday; but with gas prices reaching all-time highs, it’s difficult to expect gay people or other folks to prioritize their sense

of social justice above their pocketbooks, said state Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Avondale Estates), who is gay and also one of the leading energy experts in the Georgia General Assembly.

“The vast majority of people are so wrapped up in their day-to-day stuff that they don’t know what’s going on around them, and if they do know, they don’t think they can do anything about it,” Drenner said. “I don’t think gay people are any exception here — I think most people don’t pay attention to things until it becomes a personal issue.”

Early in her career as an elected official, Drenner received a $500 campaign contribution from Exxon-Mobil. Despite being a neophyte politician eager to raise cash, she was “ballsy” and turned down the contribution. she said.

“I sent it back, and I wrote a letter to the lobbyist that sent it to me, and I wrote a letter to the CEO, and I told them I was not going to accept money from a company that doesn’t offer benefits to domestic partners,” recalled Drenner, who also asked the Georgia State Auditor to withdraw any investments the state had in Exxon-Mobil.

EXXON-MOBIL STONEWALLS

Exxon has been in the crosshairs of many gay activists since it acquired Mobil in 1999.

Prior to the merger, Mobil offered domestic partner benefits to its gay and lesbian employees, and prohibited discrimination based on sexual orientation. Exxon leaders eliminated both policies.

Since then, various gay rights groups and shareholder activism organizations attempted to use shareholder resolutions to compel Exxon leaders to reinstate the gay-friendly policies. In the most recent shareholder vote on May 30, 37.8 percent of Exxon-Mobil shareholders supported adding sexual orientation to the company’s non-discrimination policy, but gay leaders still called the vote historic progress.

“The trend is clearly in the right direction — the vote has increased every single year,” said Herrschaft, who noted that 34.6 percent of shareholders supported the resolution in 2006. “We’ve gone through eight of these resolutions, a change in the leadership of the company and CEO, and they still have not caught up with their competitors.”

Exxon-Mobil representatives insist their company’s “existing global policies prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in any company workplace, anywhere in the world [and] therefore, the board did not support the shareholder proposal concerning this issue.”

The corporation’s ‘Equal Employment Opportunity & Harassment in the Work-

place’ policies constitute the foundational documents of our employment non-discrimination policy,” said Exxon-Mobil spokesperson Gantt Walton. “The EEO communication initiatives, training programs, and investigating and stewardship processes explicitly state that any form of discrimination or harassment in the workplace based on sexual orientation will not be tolerated, and more broadly, that no form of discrimination or harassment in the workplace will be tolerated.”

Exxon-Mobil scored a zero on HRC’s “Corporate Equality Index,” which ranks Fortune 500 companies based on their gay-friendly employment policies. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Chevron and BP each scored a perfect 100 on the HRC ranking.

“The reason that Chevron has been a leader in the industry on this issue is really down to the company’s core values,” said Chevron spokesperson Alex Yelland. “The richness of our cultural and creative diversity increases our ability to achieve our vision and enhances Chevron’s work environment.

“We recognize that in our global environment, having a workforce that mirrors the composition of the marketplace where we operate and serve is a key competitive advantage,” he added.

Yelland also touted Chevron as the first major American oil company to add sexual orientation to its non-discrimination policy in 1993, and to offer domestic partner benefits in 1997.

The average score for oil and energy companies ranked by HRC is 71, with only Exxon-Mobil scoring under 50. Shell received an 85 from HRC, followed by Conoco Phillips, which earned a 65.

Quick Trip is not technically an oil company because it buys refined gasoline from multiple oil distributors, but the popular gas station has several gay-friendly policies, including prohibiting workplace discrimination and offering domestic partner benefits.

“It’s just a core philosophy we’ve had for years,” said QT spokesperson Mike Thornbrugh. “We understand we live in a very diverse world and we deal with that.”

Kilduff, an energy analyst with the Man Financial Group in New York.

“The industry gets enough negative press, especially in these sorts of times, and they do battle for market space all the time,” Kilduff said. “I would expect [gay] consumers to be sensitive to those issues, and with gay prices as high as they are, if you’re going to irritate folks for various reasons, they’re going to shop elsewhere.”

But Drenner believes part of Exxon-Mobil’s stubbornness is because of the necessity for their product.

“They don’t need any group one way or the other, because they’ve got what we want, and that’s our fault because we haven’t done enough as a society to have alternatives,” Drenner said.

The gay-friendly policies of other gas companies will eventually impact ExxonMobil’s bottom line, leaving executives at the company to experience “a what-took-solong moment,” Herrschaft predicted.

“They’re taking up an awful lot of time on a subject they could rectify really in a matter of minutes,” Herrschaft said. “Most companies don’t see a need to spin their wheels on this for a decade, and I just think it will be a case study in wasted effort.”

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Not only is Exxon-Mobil among the last oil companies dragging its feet when it comes to implementing gay-friendly policies — it stands out among Fortune 500 companies as one of the few remaining corporations without any kind of workplace protections for gay employees.

Even Exxon-Mobil’s No. 2 ranking on the Fortune 500 list doesn’t insulate the company from consumer backlash, said John

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1 Copyright © 2007 by Kelley Blue Book Co., Inc. (May/June, 2007 Northwest Edition). All Rights Reserved. Blue Book is a trademark of Kelley Blue Book Co., Inc. The specific information required to determine the value for each vehicle is supplied by the dealer (or by a third party on behalf of the dealer). Vehicle valuations are approximations and vary by vehicle, region, mileage, condition and vehicle options. Kelley Blue Book assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions. 2Prices valid 7/1/07 through 8/31/07 and do not include tax, title, tags, document processing fees of $149 or less, governmental fees, any emissions testing charges, and any finance charges (if applicable). Pictures are representative of vehicles available. Used vehicles previously part of Enterprise short-term rental and lease fleet or purchase by Enterprise from other sources including auto auctions, with previous use possibly short-term rental, lease or other. For VIN or stock number, see enterprisecarsales.com or visit each participating Enterprise Car Sales location.

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Q Buzz

By Ross von Metzke ross@qsaltlake.com

For those of you who were chomping at the bit for a second print run of the New York City firefighters calendar, I’ve got some bad news. It ain’t going to happen, and you can thank Brooklyn fireman Michael Biserta, who put his hose out there for the world to see and royally pissed off Fire Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta.

It seems the 2008 Calendar of Heroes, a major fundraising source for the F.D.N.Y, wasn’t Biserta’s first time in front of a camera. He did some mugging for the folks behind Guys Gone Wild for their Spring Break collection, and when things got hot and heavy, Biserta whipped it out for the cameras. Because of this, Scoppetta insists they are done printing the calendars. Guess beefcake is one thing, but full frontal is slumming it.

But don’t cry for the F.D.N.Y coffers just yet. Guys Gone Wild distributor Mantra Films is being a good sport about things.

They’re planning to donate 10 percent of the proceeds from a special Guys Gone Wild double disc to F.D.N.Y. Who needs the shirtless shot when you can see the whole enchilada in live action?

From Bad to Worse At least Whitney has full custody; Britney Spears didn’t get her wish on that one. She’s splitting the kids with KFed 50/50, and if her recent behavior is any

A Case of Drunk Blogging?

Earlier this week, when some mysterious, quite likely drunken blogs appeared on Roseanne’s official MySpace talking about writing short stories and eating SPAM, she blamed it on an intern hacking into her account and going to town. Roseanne assured us that the only place she blogs is her official Web site, RoseanneWorld.com.

But that’s not all. Roseanne also claimed the same naughty intern stole a private sex tape — one she was willing to pay $25,000 to get back, unless of course, some distributor wanted to cut a deal. Is reporting a missing sex tape some sort of new renegade negotiation tactic?

To make things even worse, the blogs are back (sans intern) and random as ever. And to prove Roseanne’s not working with a full deck, they are, once again, on MySpace — the place she just said she never blogs. This blog is about Cosco (that’s Costco folks, only Roseanne spells it without the “t”). Sounding more like Roseanne Connor than Arnold, Barr (whatever last name she’s using these days) goes on and on about the bulk toilet paper, all of the customers being fat and Latino, Chinese or “Hawaiin” (as she spells it) and the killer hot dogs.

She even says she’s gonna buy a car through Costco.

Please don’t, Roseanne. In fact, why do we even need to know about your shopping trips?

Perhaps the small but dedicated group of fans who tried to get Roseanne to take over for Rosie on The View were right.

Roseanne’s drunken perception of the world is the perfect compliment to Barbara’s increasing senility.

And that’s all the dirt we’ve got to fling this week, folks. Join us next week when some worked-over starlet will inevitably fall of the wagon or abandon her children. Until then, remember to stop and smell the gossip. Q

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A u g u s t 16 , 2 0 0 7  I SSU E 8 4  Q S A LT L A K E  31

The Worst Reconciliation of All Time I opened up my e-mail this morning and could hardly believe it. OK, so maybe that’s an overstatement, but I was disheartened. I saw photos of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown out getting crabs together — Bobbi Kristina nowhere in sight.

The way I see it, the only reason the divorced couple should be doing anything together is for the sake of the child they created. And if that was the case, you’d think she’d be present. No such luck.

According to TMZ.com, Whitney and Bobby were legitimately dining together at the Joe’s Crab Shack in Alpharetta, Ga., miles from where the two once made their home together. Is that reconciliation we smell in the air? No, just trace elements of the ganja these two must have been smoking in the parking lot.

Seriously. Get a load of the photo of the pair TMZ.com obtained. Those are some puffy eyes those two got going on.

So what were they doing out together?

It was Whitney’s 44th birthday, and as any multi-millionaire pop goddess supposedly on the road to making the mother of all comebacks will tell you, nothing’s better than spending the big day with the deadbeat, homeless daddy of your teenage daughter — without her present.

God willing, these two aren’t getting back together. Of course, with Whitney’s rumored comeback taking longer to record than Paula Abdul’s new album (in the works since 1998), maybe she’s earned a break. One ballad down, time to smoke some crack?

indication, she’s gonna lose the rest of that real quick.

According to reports, KFed’s legal team served up a delicious request for an increase in custody on Aug. 9. How much more time he wants we aren’t sure, since those papers are under lock and key. But in light of allegations that Britney leaves the kids alone for hours on end, shoves juice boxes in the babies’ mouths to make them shut up, asked the dentist to whiten their teeth and — perhaps the straw that broke the camel’s back — is drinking again, chances are, it’s a lot.

The crazy thing is, that’s not the only legal trouble Britney’s facing these days.

The owner of the car Britney bumped into and walked away from in a grocery store parking lot earlier this week — in plain sight of cameras no less — has filed a police report against the pop tart.

For those of you who missed the coverage, Britney bumped a car, bent down to investigate the damage, mouthed to reporters that it wasn’t “that bad,” and wandered away without leaving a note.

Bad Brit, that’s illegal. And it’s not like you can claim it “wasn’t me, ya’ll,” ’cuz the whole thing was caught on tape.

Oh, Britney.

Better hope that song you recorded last week is a big hit, because this looks like the beginning of the end.

32  Q S A LT L A K E  I S S U E 8 4  A u g us t 16 , 2 0 0 7

Q Horoscopes Aug 20–Sep 20 Start something exciting when the Sun ambles into Virgo now. Our jets are revved and can travel in many possible directions. Pack a compass to get where you need to go.

e

ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 20)

A few select gay Rams will capitalize on the Sun in Virgo by really applying themselves on the task at hand and thus gain greater recognition for their efforts. Perhaps a few more will buff and tone with an extra effort at the gym and put the crowd to shame. Still more will find ways of shifting their onerous tasks onto others. What category do you fall into? Hmmm??

r

TAURUS (Apr 21 - May 21)

Queer Bulls find themselves in youthful, exuberant company with Sun in Virgo. Expand your usual base. Try a new club, hang with a different crowd or even involve yourself with new creative enterprises. You will be surprised as to how creative you can be once you set your mind to it. Will Gen X turn into Gen XXX? I guess we would have to ask “Y.”

t

GEMINI (May 22 - Jum 21)

There is work to be done and you are the one to do it. Improve the look of your surroundings by redecorating or moving things around. But it is not all drone-like work, pink Twin. In fact Sun in Virgo delivers good times to your front door. So spruce up your nest and invite a few good eggs over for a scramble. So what if one or two of them are a bit cracked?

y

CANCER (JUN 22 - JUL 23)

Do you have something on your mind? Well say it. Gay Crabs should not be reticent. In fact they should carefully think about the effect they wish to create and boldly speak out loud, proud and queer. You make the front pages. Of course if you are just angling to complain, make it a whisper rather than a shout. Dazzle them with unspoken charm instead.

u

LEO (Jul 24 - Aug 23)

There is money to be made and advantage to be gained with Sun in Virgo. Opportunities open up to fulfil your life long dreams and it will be the clever proud Lion that jumps right in. But don’t be greedy and reckless; first do your homework and seek the right advisor. Remember bulls and bears make money but pigs lose their shirts. Sniff. Do I smell bacon burning?

i

VIRGO (Aug 24 - Sep 23)

Queer Virgins seem to have that get-up-and-go when Sun posits in their sign. You have a fresh perspective and an ability to grab onto opportunities at just the right time. Don’t sit back. Survey the landscape and see what needs fixing. Not only can you light a fire under certain dormant (read:lazy) folks, you can also turn a small something into a big to do. Oh please do, do, do!

o

LIBRA (Sep 24 - Oct 23)

There is more to life than accumulation and dissipation, proud Libra. Sun in Virgo accentuates larger, karmic things like volunteerism, charity, forgiveness, world vision and deferring personal gratification for the greater good. In fact you might find that there is greater satisfaction to be gained now by giving more than receiving. It is a nice change of pace.

p

SCORPIO (Oct 24 - Nov 22)

Pals come out of the wood work with Sun in Virgo. Gay Scorps can be excused for hauling their stuff all over town and dropping it off in all sorts of venues. That is because their presence is desired by a range of groups.

If you are especially attuned, you even find yourself in the adoring center of some of the most elite circles. Hurry before you revert back to a troll.

[

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 - Dec 22)

Proud Archers can make their big move when Sun sits in Virgo. Your star shines even in the densest fogs. Your advice is sought after. Not only are even your most mediocre ideas hailed by the big bosses, your meager and average efforts are applauded. Will you harness this energy and make the most of it? Maybe. Yet somehow I doubt it.

]

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 20)

Expansion in all its forms is a mantra for you when the Sun enters Virgo. You may want to enroll for a new course of study or discover global opportunities and enterprises via the internet. Pink Caps can not only get their face out front, they can also impact millions of people with relatively little effort. Err maybe you should zip up your fly...

q

AQUEERIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19)

Aqueerians have a certain something with Sun in Virgo. And that certain something is certainly something with a certain you-know-who.

Your love life heats up to a frenzy and makes you too tasty for words. Don’t say anything and let your actions speak prouder than your words. Remember to turn it up, turn it on and let it all hang Out lover.

w

PISCES (Feb 20 - Mar 20)

Relationships take on a greater importance when Sun enters Virgo.

What are you looking for? What qualities make you happy? Think it through. This is a good time to solidify shaky partnerships or to seek new ones that provide you with a firmer foundation and greater sense of security.

Guppies deserve the best. Don’t settle for seconds ... or worse, leftovers. Q

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8 Switch end 9 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the ___?â&#x20AC;?

10 Breast beaters 11 Latin homo leader?

12 Camaro model 13 Smallest member 18 Long name in Louisiana 19 Supporter of Julia Morgan?

24 Tow job 25 Not nuts 26 Karen does this on Jack on Will and Grace 27 In ___ water (enjoying a Jacuzzi?)

28 One who works under a dictator?

29 Em and Mame 30 Understands, to Ginsberg 31 Takes a trolley that goes â&#x20AC;&#x153;Clang, clang, clang,â&#x20AC;? e.g.

32 Cockamamie

33 Post-circuit party drug, perhaps 35 Fruit cover 38 Fruitless 39 Depict unfairly 40 Parlor piece for writer Michelle?

45 Like Kate Moss or Calista Flockhart 46 Deity on _Xena_ 47 Cause of the Tin Woodsmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rust 49 Intense desires 50 Isle of exile in Brandoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s _Desiree_ 51 Exodus author Uris 52 Sergei of The Opposite of Sex 53 Doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel up 54 Say whether or not youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re coming 56 Pleasured orally 57 Kiss from Kahlo 58 The A in GLARP 60 Degree for Andrew Tobias 61 Muscle Maryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pride

Puzzle solutions are on page 34.

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59 Carson Kressleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pan of some pants?

62 You might see one 26 Nina Jacobsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tied up in Key West Six Pack studio, once 63 Sunset or â&#x20AC;&#x153;VIâ&#x20AC;? is added to phrases 29 1949 Cukor movie Resurrection (abbr.) to queer their meaning.

34 Coming soon 64 Billie Holidayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;God Across 35 Screw royally ___ the Childâ&#x20AC;?

1 Pink, for example 36 Pinch opening?

65 Hathaway of The 6 Went lickety-split 37 When gay people are Devil Wears Prada 10 Will beneficiary accepted every66 Biters of Marc 14 Cut off where?

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23 Makes hot 53 Drama, to Tennessee 6 Many go down on 25 Posed for Berenice Williams them Abbott 55 Band that goes 7 Left, to pirates either way?

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by Lynn Beltran

lynn@qsaltlake.com

This past weekend, I had brunch with a friend who is the medical director at an HIV clinic in West Hollywood, and I thought Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d share what we talked about in this issueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s column. When we got together, I expected to learn a lot about whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happening with AIDS in her state. But I was surprised to find our comments and concerns were pretty much identical: In the past month, my level of concern about HIV infections has grown dramatically, and I was surprised to see that hers had too.

Here in Salt Lake County â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and I know youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sick of hearing this from me â&#x20AC;&#x201D; our rates of newly diagnosed HIV cases keep rising. Approximately 90 percent of our cases are in the gay men community. This makes us unique to many other areas in the United States where people of color â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and black women in particular â&#x20AC;&#x201D; are the fastest growing segment of the population becoming newly infected.

Although this column focuses on gay and lesbian health, I want to stress that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m very concerned about these rates among people of color. I believe that public health organizations need to put forth more effort to lower the rates of new infections occurring in these communities.

I am hopeful that effective public health intervention will help women of color to make more informed choices about protecting themselves against the virus.

But what I find concerning about our increase in Salt Lake is that it is occurring primarily in the MSM community, the same community that rallied in the 1980s to protect themselves when public health got caught with its pants down, and when many ostracized the gay community for being the most at risk population for this disease. People who were HIV-positive were banned from schools, jobs and families. Even in Salt Lake, doctors and other providers denied medical care to people who were HIV positive. The MSM community rose above this kind of hypocrisy and initiated one of the finest public health interventions in history long before any state or federally funded HIV prevention programs were created, and they did it with compassion and empathy. Research shows that behavioral change is most effective and accepted when it is brought to the community by the community itself.

In spite of this history, I cannot help but feel the gay community has taken more than a few steps backwards when dealing with this disease. I have seen a paradigm shift away from prevention and toward complacency and an â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even

Solutions, from p. 29

Cryptogram

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Q Health HIV: 3 Steps Back

want to hear about it anymoreâ&#x20AC;? type of thinking. I understand a lot of the reasons behind this change in thinking, including the very real issue of condom fatigue within the MSM community, but people still need to be careful. To show you why, let me tell you a bit about what Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been hearing from patients right here in Utah.

In my discussions with new and longtime patients, it has become clear that people are not protecting themselves and people who are infected are not disclosing their HIV status to their partners. I repeatedly hear that people ask, â&#x20AC;&#x153;are we playing safe today,â&#x20AC;? and if the answer is no, they take that to mean that everyone is OK with the risk. Others are simply not disclosing that they are HIV positive until after sex. Whatever the situation, it is leading to infections.

Although a diagnosis of HIV is no longer about preparing to die, I have never found it to be welcome news. Yes, there are new medications available and many people respond well to them, but not everyone does, and they can start out well for some people but stop working later.

These medications are referred to as HAART, or highly active anti-retroviral therapy, and the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;highly activeâ&#x20AC;? is there for good reason. These medications are strong and often come with equally strong side effects. Also, they often precipitate other chronic illnesses that require even more treatment and care, and we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yet know the long term health consequences of taking them.

Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re also expensive â&#x20AC;&#x201D; $1500 is the average monthly cost. Although there are federally funded programs to help with the costs, the pool of money is limited. As the number of HIV infections increase and the length of time people live with HIV increases, there is less money to go around; in fact, many states already have waiting lists. To make matters worse, care for those who have been infected has become more complicated: Many people infected with HIV are having unprotected sex with other HIV infected people and becoming co-infected with varying strains of the virus. This is especially bad news, because it leads to drug resistance.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time for the gay community to step forward and protect themselves again.

Do not allow complacency to negatively impact the health of your community.

HIV resources are limited, and they are already strained. If things continue this way, complacency regarding sexual health could bring us back to the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, where we all watched friends and family members suffer or die because of the virus. As a public health professional, I implore the gay community to step up, to initiate yet another paradigm shift that promotes safe sex practices. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait for your friend or partner to take the initiative but start it yourself and please start it today! Q

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