QSaltLake Magazine - March 13, 2008 by QSaltLake Magazine

MARCH 13, 2008

ISSUE 98

Legislative Wrap-Up

How Utah’s gay community fared in the 2008 Legislative Session

FABBY Award Ballot on Page 11 or vote online at qsaltlake.com

The Gay Porn Past of Big Brother’s Crazy Dave Idol’s David Hernandez’ Naked Lap Dances

Ruth is Wiily, Wiily In Debt Ryan Throws a WIld Bone-Themed Party Getting a Boyzilian The Gay Agenda Qdoku, Comics

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Has ‘The Gay Pages’ Disappeared With People’s Money?

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World News

By Rex Wockner

Venezuelan Supreme Court Nixes Same-Sex Marriage The constitutional arm of Venezuela’s Supreme Tribunal of Justice ruled March 4 that same-sex marriages cannot be constitutionally authorized even though the Constitution bans discrimination based on sexual orientation. The court said, “If the 1999 constitutional body opted to protect monogamous matrimony between a man and a woman as the essential nucleus that gives origin to the family in the Venezuelan historic and cultural context, the extension of its [marriage’s] effects to common-law unions ... should require, at the least, that these [unions] fulfill the same essential requirements — that they are stable and monogamous unions between a man and a woman who have no marriage impediment ... and that the union is based on the free consent of the parties.” But the tribunal added, “The court wants to emphasize that the constitutional norm does not prohibit or condemn common-law unions between persons

of the same sex, which find constitutional cover in the fundamental right of free development of the personality; it simply does not grant them reinforced protection, which does not constitute a discriminatory act in regard to sexual orientation.” Judge Carmen Zuleta de Merchán dissented from the decision, arguing that the Constitution grants implicit rights to same-sex couples, and that the other justices were influenced by ingrained social and religious prejudices. The gay group Affirmative Union of Venezuela commented: “We see this decision as an advance with respect to the previous situation in which we had no legal existence, we were invisibilized and our human condition was negated in this society. ... We commit ourselves to continue fighting, with all legal means within our reach, to obtain what should be common sense: the overcoming of discrimination in Venezuelan society.”

Brit Tory MP to Enter Civil Partnership A senior member of Parliament for Britain’s Conservative Party will be the first Tory MP to enter a same-sex civil partnership. Alan Duncan, who has been in Parliament since 1992, will tie the knot with James Dunseath, spokesman for London’s financial futures exchange, this summer at the Westminster register office in London. The couple met 14 months ago at a dinner party and Duncan, 50, asked Dunseath, 39, to marry him this past Valentine’s Day as the couple vacationed in Oman. “You could not find two more conventional people to enter into a civil partnership,” Duncan told local media. Dunseath told The Daily Telegraph, “Our friends say we are inseparable. He may be a politician but he’s great fun. We both feel it’s so right and we’re very lucky.” Tory leader David Cameron said he was “thrilled” to learn of the couple’s engagement and plans to attend the ceremony. In 2002, Duncan became the first Tory MP to publicly come out of the closet.

“Living in disguise as a politician in the modern world simply isn’t an option,” he said at the time. “The Tory view has always been, ‘We don’t mind, but don’t say.’ Well, that doesn’t work anymore. The only realistic way to behave these days is to be absolutely honest and upfront, however inconvenient that may be at first.” In a new interview with the Telegraph on March 5, Duncan added, “I knew that one day I would have to say something, because I believed honesty to be the best policy. But I wanted to do it when I was sufficiently well-established as an MP for it not to be my only label thereafter. I didn’t want to be known just as ‘the gay MP Alan Duncan.’ To me, I’m an MP who happens to be gay.” Duncan also noted, “This is not a wedding. You really just go into the register office and sign. There will be no Elton John-style stuff: no white suits, no John Inman, no flouncing about.” The United Kingdom’s Civil Partnership Act, which took effect in December 2005, grants registered same-sex couples all rights and obligations of marriage.

Sydney Gay Mardi Gras Biggest Ever Organizers said Sydney’s 30th gay Mardi Gras parade held March 1 was the largest ever. The 1-mile spectacle attracted 10,000 participants, 150 floats and hundreds of thousands of spectators. A contingent of 200 “78ers,” people who marched in the first parade in 1978, drew raucous applause. That first parade ended in a clash with police and 50 arrests.

Other contingents included the New South Wales Police Force and the Australian Defence Force, and a group of some 100 Christian pastors who marched to “apologize” for past treatment of LGBT people by Christian churches. Mardi Gras pumps an estimated AU$45 million (U.S. $42 million) into the local economy.

Swedish Government to Sell Dildos

HIV Cases Set Record in Japan

Sweden’s government-run Apoteket pharmacy chain will begin selling dildos because customers want them, the Stockholm English-language publication The Local reported March 6. “We are aware that sex is a very important part of everyone’s life. It is important to help people in this area, and there is a certain demand for the products,” spokeswoman Elisabet Linge Bergman told the newspaper. In a survey conducted last year by Apoteket and the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education, customers chose dildos and massage oils as the top items they’d like to see added to the chain’s stock. The dildos, oils and possibly other sex toys will become available in 50 of the chain’s stores starting in May, for a oneyear trial period, The Local said.

Japan saw more than 1,000 new HIV cases in 2007, the first time the tally has crossed that threshold. The Ministry of Health and Labor counted 1,048 new infections, bringing the total for all years to 9,392, according to Gay Japan News. Ninety-three percent of the new cases were in men, and at least 70 percent involved gay sex. “It is urgent that we should develop our support, counseling and medical care systems further ... in accordance with local needs and situations,” said Aikichi Iwamoto, chair of the ministry’s AIDS Trends Committee.

British Bareback Films Pulled from Market

Two barebacking gay porn movies have been pulled from the British market by their maker after a BBC investigation suggested the performers may have been infected with HIV during filming. Said the BBC: “Two of the DVDs featured footage from a weeklong shoot during which eight British models had sex with each other in multiple combinations without condoms. Four of those who took part were diagnosed as HIV-positive soon after.” One performer told the BBC he believed the movies showed him becoming infected and that was distressing. The BBC report claimed that 60 percent of gay porn movies now depict barebacking — anal sex without condoms.

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National News

Obama Supports States’ OK of Same-Sex Marriage, Highlights Differences With Clinton On DOMA Congress, or of any ruling, regulation, or interpretation of the various administrative bureaus and agencies of the United States, the word ‘marriage’ means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word ‘spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.” Hillary Clinton has said she supports repeal only of the second part of DOMA. In effect, that means Clinton supports same-sex couples’ having access to federal benefits but wants to continue granting states extra legal cover for rejecting other states’ same-sex unions. She also has suggested that the first part of DOMA helps reduce the nation’s appetite for amending the Constitution to ban same-sex marriage. Opponents of Clinton’s position say that, among other things, it hinders same-sex couples’ freedom of movement by encouraging nonrecognition of their legal same-sex unions when they enter most U.S. states. The vote for DOMA was 342-67 in the House of Representatives and 85-14 in the Senate.

A majority of Iowans support creation of legal civil unions for same-sex couples, but not granting them access to marriage, a Des Moines Register poll has found. Sixty-two percent of those questioned said marriage should be only between a man and a woman, 32 percent approved of same-sex marriage and six percent lacked an opinion. More than half, however, supported civil unions, while 40 percent opposed them and 4 percent had no opinion. The poll found an even split on the

notion of amending the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage: 48 percent in favor, 47 percent opposed and 5 percent with no opinion. Last year, a Polk County district court found Iowa’s man-woman-only marriage law unconstitutional, and one gay couple managed to get married before Judge Robert Hanson suspended his ruling when it was appealed to the state Supreme Court. The Register poll questioned 801 adults between Feb. 17 and 20, and has an error margin of 3.5 percentage points.

Ellen: Pay Attention When You Vote

that Larry would want to be his valentine that killing Larry seemed to be the right thing to do. And when the message out there is so horrible that to be gay you can get killed for it, we need to change the message.” “Larry was not a second-class citizen, I am not a second-class citizen, it is OK if you’re gay,” DeGeneres concluded. “This is an election year and there’s a lot of talk about change. I think one thing we should change is hate. Check on who you’re voting for, and does that person really, truly believe that we are all equal under the law? And if you’re not sure, change your vote. We deserve better.” Lawrence King was shot during class at E.O. Green Junior High School in Oxnard on Feb. 12 and died three days later. King was openly gay and wore makeup, feminine jewelry and high-heel boots. As a result, he had been bullied and harassed by other students, including Brandon McInerney, 14, who has been charged with premeditated murder with a hate-crime enhancement.

Ellen DeGeneres said on her TV talk show Feb. 29 that she’s not a political person, but that people should vote for a presidential candidate who believes “we are all equal under the law.” “On Feb. 12, an openly gay 15-year-old boy named Larry, who was an eighthgrader in Oxnard, Calif., was murdered by a fellow eighth-grader named Brandon,” DeGeneres said at the beginning of her program. “Larry was killed because he was gay,” she said. “Days before he was murdered, Larry asked his killer to be his valentine. I don’t want to be political. This is not political. I’m not a political person but this is personal to me. A boy has been killed, and a number of lives have been ruined. And somewhere along the line the killer, Brandon, got the message that it’s so threatening and so awful and so horrific

California Supremes Hear Same-Sex Marriage Case California Supreme Court justices debated with lawyers for 3 hours and 38 minutes March 4 in the televised hearing in the state’s consolidated same-sex marriage case. A ruling is due by early June. Plaintiffs are the city of San Francisco, two gay rights groups and 23 same-sex couples. They say state laws that restrict marriage to opposite-sex couples are unconstitutional in myriad ways. Lawyers for the state, the governor and two anti-gay groups argued that the laws are not unconstitutional and that California’s comprehensive domestic-partnership law grants same-sex couples all substantive rights of marriage anyway. Most observers predict a split decision by the court, perhaps turning on one vote. “I thought the argument yesterday was incredible,” said Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. “It is clear the court was very engaged and had done a very deep dive on the law and policy issues involved. I am hopeful.” The center’s legal director, Shannon Minter, represented 15 of the gay couples at the hearing. “People want to marry the one person who, to them, is irreplaceable,” he told the court. “We demean ourselves as a society if we don’t give individuals the freedom to marry and to choose whom to marry.” Kendell said, “Shannon was particularly brilliant, just right-on and, at moments, even poetic. I was very proud. Between Shannon and Terry [San Francisco Chief Deputy City Attorney Therese Stewart], I do not think we could have had any better advocates.”

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In a Feb. 28 open letter to the LGBT community, presidential candidate Barack Obama stated his support for full samesex marriage in states that choose to go that route. To date, only Massachusetts has done so. Bills legalizing same-sex marriage have passed California’s legislature twice, but Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed them. “As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws,” Obama said. “I personally believe that civil unions represent the best way to secure that equal treatment. But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples — whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage.” Obama also said he’s better on the issue than Hillary Clinton. “Unlike Senator Clinton, I support the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) — a position I have held since before arriving in the U.S. Senate,” he said. “I believe we should get rid of that statute altogether. Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does.” But achieving full equality for gay people will not be easy, Obama said. “If we want to repeal DOMA, repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and implement fully inclusive laws outlawing hate crimes and discrimination in the workplace, we need to bring the message of LGBT equality to skeptical audiences as well as friendly ones,” he said. “I have been talking about LGBT equality to a number of groups during this campaign — from local LGBT activists to rural farmers to parishioners at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta.” “I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all LGBT Americans. But neither will I close my ears to the voices of those who still need to be convinced. That is the work we must do to move forward together. It is difficult. It is challenging. And it is necessary.” DOMA, signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1996, says, “No State, territory, or possession of the United States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give effect to any public act, record, or judicial proceeding of any other State, territory, possession, or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other State, territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim arising from such relationship.” The law’s second part says, “In determining the meaning of any Act of

Iowans Support Civil Unions But Not Same-Sex Marriage

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Local News

2008 Legislative Session a Mixed Bag for Gay and Lesbian Utahns by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

The 2008 General Legislative Session came to an end on March 5. For your edification, and to help you prepare for the interim session this summer, QSaltLake provides a summary of bills introduced in the past session that were particularly relevant to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns. Some were passed, some defeated and some may be heard again in later months.

Bullying and Hazing Authored by Assistant Minority Whip Rep. Carol Spackman Moss, D-Salt Lake City, HB 325 sought to set uniform, minimum statewide standards to help public school districts and charter schools address and prevent all forms of bullying, hazing or retaliation for reporting either. The bill initially stumbled in the House Education Committee when some members voiced concerns that the bill’s definition of bullying was too vague and its prohibitions gave schools too little freedom in setting their own anti-bullying policies and the state too much control. The bill was amended on Feb. 20 to tighten its definition of bullying (limiting it only to physical harm perpetrated by an employee or student against another employee or student). It then left the committee. HB 325 substitute 1 passed the House on a vote of 59-8 with eight absent on Feb. 28. On March 4 it passed the Senate on a vote of 25-2 with two absent after an amendment was introduced that removed language requiring school officials to report incidents of bullying to an authority designated in the school’s individual anti-bullying policy. Language was also removed that encouraged parents and students who witness bullying to make a report. Local gay rights group Equality Utah drafted the first version of the bill. The group hoped the bill would be used in part to help schools crack down on antigay and anti-transgender bullying, as youths in these categories statistically face higher rates of bullying than their straight and cisgender counterparts. Sexually Transmitted Diseases Rep. Phil Reisen, D-Salt Lake City, wrote HB 15 Control and Prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases to help the Utah Health Department and local health departments educate Utahns about the health consequences of and treatment options for gonorrhea and chlamydia. Rates of both STDs have dramatically risen in Utah over the past 12 years. Reisen’s bill initially asked for an appropriation of $350,000 to fund these efforts, which included distribution of materials about both diseases in English and Spanish. Amendments to the bill slashed that figure in half and tweaked language to ensure the funding would only go towards prevention and treatment of gonorrhea and chlamydia. Early in the bill’s life, embattled Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, also

proposed an amendment that prevented public schools and private services and agencies from being involved with the effort. On Feb. 8 Buttars told the Senate that he’d proposed the amendment to prevent organizations such as Planned Parenthood from going into the public schools. Although Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake City, argued that such an amendment would cut out several private services that help state health departments control STDs (such as private doctors’ offices), HB 15’s senate sponsor, Allen M. Christensen, R-North Ogden, accepted Buttars’ amendment as “friendly.” The bill was amended later in the session to allow public health officials to “suggest screening by a private physician.” The bill passed both houses.

Child Abandonment One bill that may have unintended consequences for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utah youth sailed through both houses early in the session. Rep. Lori Fowlke’s HB 23 Child and Family Protections sought to make child abandonment a third degree felony and to hold those who encourage or coerce parents to kick out their children guilty as well. Although Fowlke said that the bill was intended to target leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints responsible for kicking teenage boys (whom the national media has dubbed “The Lost Boys”) out of their compounds, Equality Utah has said the bill could be used to hold parents who abandon gay and transgender children as well. Fowlke, R-Orem, ran a version of HB 23 in the 2007 legislative session but the Senate was not able to get to the bill before the session’s end. This time, it passed both houses with little debate. Adoption One of the most controversial bills introduced this session, HB 318 Utah Adoption Amendments sought to grant same-sex couples and unmarried straight couples the right to adopt children. As of 2000, only legally married couples and single men and women have been able to adopt in Utah. Sponsored by Rep. Rebecca ChavezHouck, D-Salt Lake City, HB 318 never made it out of the House Rules Committee, the body which assigns bills to legislative standing committees for debate. Although Equality Utah and several families headed by same-sex parents rallied at the capitol on several occasions, some committee members — Rep. Mark Walker, R-Sandy, in particular — said that the bill would not be assigned. “It really just comes down to my belief that gay couples shouldn’t be able to adopt children,” Walker told the Salt Lake Tribune in late February. Chavez-Houck has said she will reintroduce the bill in the next session. Employment Discrimination Drafted by Equality Utah and sponsored by openly-lesbian Rep. Christine John-

Utahns attend a rally against workplace discrimination during the first week of the Utah Legislative Session

son, D-Salt Lake City, HB 89 Antidiscrimination Act Amendments sought to make it illegal for Utah employers to refuse to hire, promote, demote or fire an employee based on his or her real or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. Religious organizations and businesses (such as Brigham Young University) would be exempt. After a much-publicized public hearing on Jan. 26 the House Business and Labor Committee voted to hold the bill until the summer interim session to allow them more time to study its possible ramifications for Utah employers. After the hearing Johnson said the committee’s decision to put the bill aside for the time being had not discouraged her. “I think the committee handled the matter in a compassionate way and I respect that,” she told QSaltLake at the time. Equality Utah is hopeful that the bill will be revisited this summer. Since the bill’s introduction on Capitol Hill, several gay and transgender employees have spoken to the press about being fired from their jobs because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Current Utah law prohibits discrimination based on race, color, sex, age (if the individual is over 40 years old), childbirth or pregnancy status, religion, national origin and disability.

Dating Violence Rep. David Litvak’s HB 247 Domestic Violence and Dating Violence Amendments sought to help victims of dating violence to file protective orders against their abusers, regardless of the victim and perpetrators’ sexual orientation or gender identity or whether or not the couple is married or living together. The Salt Lake City Democrat, who has introduced similar legislation on the Hill in the past three sessions, explained to Representatives that his bill was necessary because victims of dating violence cannot easily get protective orders. He also noted that 32 percent of Utah teens have experienced dating violence. Although Litvak amended HB 247 to raise the age of those eligible for protective orders from 16 to 18, it failed in the house on a vote of 32 to 37. Several Representatives who voted against the bill cited concerns over Second Amendment Rights as their reason for doing so.

Specifically, the possibility that those accused of dating violence under Litvak’s bill might have their right to bear arms restricted for up to two weeks as they wait for a due process hearing after a protective order is filed.

Property and Estates Openly gay Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake City, introduced SB 73 Wrongful Death Amendments, a bill that would have allowed people to designate which individuals have legal standing in terms of their estates if they die due to medical negligence or malpractice. Utah law currently does not allow anyone who isn’t a legal spouse or a child to be designated in these cases. Additionally the law doesn’t allow one relative to be designated — any or all eligible relatives can sue. After much debate on whether McCoy’s bill would allow adulterous lovers to sue for wrongful death or if the ability to name designees would dilute the claims of spouses or children in such suits, the Senate Judiciary, Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Committee gave the bill a favorable recommendation. After nearly a month of inaction on the Senate floor, however, the bill was returned to the Senate Rules Committee on Feb. 27. Salt Lake City Domestic Partner Registry After the Salt Lake City Council unanimously approved Mayor Ralph Becker’s proposal to create a registry for unmarried, financially dependant partners in the capitol city, two bills aimed at limiting this registry appeared on Capitol Hill. SB 267 introduced by Sen. Buttars would have crushed the registry and possibly crippled an insurance plan allowing city employees to name non-spousal adult designees. After a highly publicized and emotional public hearing, the Senate Rules Committee passed this bill out with a favorable recommendation. The bill got no further than that, however, and was sent back to the Rules Committee in late February. SB 299 replaced Buttars’ bill. Sponsored by Sen. Greg Bell, R-Fruit Heights, this bill was touted as a kinder, gentler compromise. After several amendments, it allowed the registry to stand in all but name and left the adult designee insurance plan alone. Q

Precinct Caucuses to Kick Off Election Season, Equality Utah Offers Training

PWACU to Hold HIV and Depression Discussion The People with AIDS Coalition of Utah will sponsor a presentation to help people with HIV recognize and cope with depression on Saturday March 15 at 3:00 p.m. in the Utah Pride Center’s multi-purpose room. The seminar will discuss the causes of depression, how to diagnose it, when and how to seek urgent and non-urgent care and recent studies on the topic of HIV & depression The presenter will be Deanna L. Merrill of GlaxoSmithKline. A catred lunch will be provided. To RSVP by March 11 call 484-2205.

legislators see it and think that’s their constituents.” “In the Republican party, if you get over 60 percent of the delegates to vote for you, you are the nominee. That’s the system and you need to understand it.” The workshop is free and open to the public. However, interested parties are encouraged RSVP to ensure that there are enough materials for all participants. To RSVP contact Keri Jones at keri@ equalityutah.org.

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It’s an election year again, which means it’s also time again for local gay rights group Equality Utah’s delegate training workshop. This year’s workshop will be held Saturday, March 15 at the Salt Lake County Complex’s North Building (2001 S. State Street) from 10:00 a.m. to noon. As in years past, it will focus not on training participants how to lobby their representatives, but how to become representatives themselves – the representatives who elect candidates at county and state party conventions. The two-hour training session will discuss the process of becoming a delegate and how this process differs between legislative districts. This year’s guest speaker will be Rep. Carol Spackman-Moss, D-Salt Lake City, who sponsored a bill that sought to let gay and lesbian couples adopt children in this legislative session. “She’ll speak about the importance of delegates and how they appointed her,” said Keri Jones, Equality Utah’s Manager of Programs and Administration. As in 2006, long-time progressive political advocate Jan Lovett will conduct the training. In past years, Lovett’s training has focused on such things as how to actively campaign for a delegate spot at a party’s precinct caucus and how a delegate may vote to change his or her party’s state constitution, bylaws and platforms. The training session will also feature a panel discussion presented by active and former delegates about their experiences in office. The last workshop, held in March of 2006, proved to be one of Equality Utah’s most popular events, drawing over 100 to a single training session at the University of Utah where Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff served as guest speaker. As part of his opening remarks, Shurtleff told the crowd that while Utah politics often run counter to the interest and needs of gay and lesbian citizens, the only way to change this is to change the people in office. “Unfortunately in this state, the decision who will be a representative is made by a tiny minority of people, often with extreme views,” said Shurtleff, a Republican and a vocal opponent of a 2004 constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in Utah. “We should be studying the tactics of the Eagle Forum. Their voice, which is radical, is powerful. So

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Advertisers Fear ‘The Gay Pages’ has Disappeared Advertisers in the Utah’s The Gay Pages are wondering if they, and their money, have been taken. The Salt Lake Tribune reported March 8 in a story titled “Year-old phone book nowhere to be found,” that The Gay Pages “seems to have vanished only a year after the inaugural edition came out.” The office listed on the Salt Lake City Gay Pages’ Web site does not exist, phone numbers for the book are greeted with a “mailbox full” recording, emails from advertisers are not being returned and the book, promised in January, has not reached distributors’ shelves. The Tribune also reported that the lastknown home address for Sean Wright, the book’s publisher, is empty and for sale. “The book was supposed to come out in January,” Sandy attorney Sallie Rawlings told the Tribune. She had paid Wright $4,920 in April for advertising in the 2008 directory. Advertisers recently received an unsigned photocopied letter stating the company had been broken into and computers, with all advertising data, were stolen in December. The letter said that the company is working with its insurer to replace the computers and software and would post a publication date on its Web site “as soon as possible.” Advertisers contacted by QSaltLake have said that no effort has been made by anyone in the company to retrieve new artwork or contact them personally

about the problems. All have said that no emails or phone calls have been returned since mid-January and that cell-phone numbers for Wright and others in the company have been shut off. New vehicles purchased by Wright bore new Colorado plates. Rawlings told QSaltLake that she wasn’t planning to accept Wright’s offer to advertise in the book, but he presented her with deep discounts if they paid up front. “We thought we would give it a try,” she said. “We advertise in all kinds of books that thought, ‘Why not?’” “I just know he’s left town,” she continnued. “How can someone be like that?” The company’s address listed on the letter turns out to be a mail box at a local UPS Store. According to the Tribune, a Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office report shows that Wright’s duplex was burglarized, but the case was closed after Wright and his two female housemates failed to respond to messages left by a sheriff’s detective. Wright refused to be interviewed for the Tribune’s story, but sent an email saying his company is not out of business and that books will be available to the public soon. He did not, however, explain where he is and why he has not returned clients’ phone calls or emails. In the interest of full disclosure, QSaltLake publishes a competing phone directory, The QSaltLake Pages.

Reconciliation to Hold Easter Sing-Along LDS Reconciliation is a resource for gay mormons and their families to foster understanding and promote spirituality. They hold weekly “family home evening” style meetings called reconciliation every Sunday. Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 7:00 p.m. they will host a special Easter sing-along at the home of Mike and Scott Green-Mills in Salt Lake City. The Easter-themed sing-along will include the Easter-relevant section of Handel’s Messiah. IF YOU HAVE A COPY OF HANDEL’S ‘MESSI-

AH,’ (the score, I mean, not a recording of it) PLEASE BRING IT WITH YOU. Mike and Scott say they have five copies, so people will certainly have to share. The more copies there are, the easier it will be to read and sing-along. David Nielson has been the president of LDS Reconciliation since last spring and says if the singalong is successful that they may make it an annual event. Visit ldsreconciliation.org for more information about the group or call their weekly activity hotline at (801) 296-4797.

Southern Utah Pride Announces New OfďŹ cers, Festival Date The 2008 Southern Utah Pride Committee met Sunday, March 9 and determined that this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s festival will be held Sept. 26â&#x20AC;&#x201C;27 in Springdale, Utah. Also annouced at the meeting was its roster of new officers: President: Chris McArdle Vice President: Anne Golibersuch Secretary/Vendor Director: Lisa Hanson

Treasurer: Jason Bartlett Pride Director: Janine Isom Director of Communications: Mike Holland Director of Entertainment: Erika Hansen Parade Director: Heidi Campbell Lodging Coordinator: Vanessa Campbell Volunteer Coordinator: Barbara Oliver

Utah Pride Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Pride In Pink Partyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Returns for Spring The Utah Pride Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next Pride In Pink party will be held March 12 at W Lounge (358 S. West Temple) from 5:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7:30 p.m. The Pride In Pink: After Hours Party is a seasonal gathering for Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender professionals and their straight allies to meet, mingle and enjoy fine refreshments. Attendees are encouraged to bring their

business cards to enter a donation for several prizes. As per the partyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name, attendees should wear pink. To RSVP contact Marina at 539-8800 ext. 20. This seasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride In Pink is sponsored by W Lounge and Mountainside Mortgage.

Club Try-Angles to Sponsor Bike Team for M.S. The annual Harmonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Dam Bike Ride will have one more Spandex-bedecked team this year as Club Try-Angles signs on to support the fundraiser for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. The ride will take place June 28â&#x20AC;&#x201C;29 in Logan, and this year they are offering 40-, 75- and 100-mile routes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This is a fully supported and catered ride, designed for all ages and abilities.,â&#x20AC;? Ride organizers wrote in a statement. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So, whether youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re training for Logan to Jackson (LOTOJA) or you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been on your bike in years, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll enjoy the best supported ride in the state, while helping create a world free of MS.â&#x20AC;? A kick-off party is planned at Club Try-Angles on Saturday, March 21 for those interested in riding and those with questions or who want to support riders. The event will include a raffle and will be followed by an 80s night dance party. Club owner Gene Gieber has promised to be first in line to sponsor team riders. Early bird registration for the ride is $25 through March 31. Starting in 1986 with â&#x20AC;&#x153;Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Dam MS150 Bike Tour,â&#x20AC;? Utahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ride has grown from 100 riders to nearly 3,000. Last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ride raised over $1.5 million. For the past 14 years, the ride has led

riders through the countryside around Logan, Utah, carving a figure-eight over two days through the lush Cache Valley farmlands. The home base for the weekend is the Cache Valley Fairgrounds. From Friday through Sunday, the Fairgrounds turn into a festival for the weekend, with team and sponsor tents in the Fidelity Investments Village area.

Tie One On Touted as â&#x20AC;&#x153;THE lesbian social event of the season,â&#x20AC;? sWerve, the Utah Pride Center, Salt Lake WOmen in Action and NUROC have teamed up to bring Salt Lake â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tie One On.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Here is your chance to be debonair. Ladies. Lots of ladies. All in ties. Butches, femmes, lady dykes, lezzies. Come one come all, but most importantly, tie one on!â&#x20AC;? screams the announcement. The event will take place Saturday, April 19 at W Lounge, 358 S West Temple, Salt Lake City. Coctails and hors dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;oeurvres will begin at 7:00 p.m. Speed Dating takes over at 8:00 p.m., followed by dancing to the beats of DJ Jesse Walker at 9:00 p.m. Tickets are $10 at the door.

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Regional News Washington Couples to Get More Rights A bill to give Washingtonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s domesticpartnership law more teeth passed the Legislature March 4, and Gov. Chris Gregoire is expected to sign it. The measure adds 170 rights and obligations of marriage to the law, which first took effect last year. According to the Post-Intelligencer newspaper, marriage rights were added in areas such as sharing bank accounts, holding common property, not having to testify against oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s partner, and divorce and child custody. Opponents said the new rights will damage marriage by making it no different from domestic partnership.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Once we go that far, marriage will become meaningless,â&#x20AC;? said Sen. Dan Swecker, R-Rochester. But recent polling showed that 55 percent of Washingtonians support the changes. Six other states have same-sex civilunion or domestic-partnership laws that extend all or nearly all state-level rights and obligations of marriage: California, Connecticut, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Oregon and Vermont. In addition, Maine, Hawaii and the District of Columbia have laws that extend limited spousal rights to same-sex couples. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;RW

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Phoenix, Ariz. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; A St. Louis-based firm has announced plans to open a retirement home in Surprise, Ariz. for gay and lesbian retirees. As the oldest of the baby boomers (Americans born between 1946 and 1964) prepare for retirement Out Properties LLC plans to open a resort community to gay boomers (whom the company dubs â&#x20AC;&#x153;gayby boomersâ&#x20AC;?) who are concerned abut being out and safe in their golden years. Called Marigold Creek, the community is slated to open in fall 2009. Although sunny New Mexico, another popular retirement destination, has been home to a similar resort â&#x20AC;&#x201D; managed by RainbowVision Properties Inc. in Santa Fe â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Marigold Creek will be the first community of its kind in Arizona. Other such communities exist or are being planned in Florida and California. Some Arizona retirees have already expressed support for the community. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The really big advantage is you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to go back into the closet and squish yourself,â&#x20AC;? Tucson resident Frances Cole-

man, 53, told The Arizona Republic. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can live with your partner and not have to pretend youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re roommates.â&#x20AC;? As the founder of a senior group at Wingspan, an outreach center for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in Tucson, Coleman said she has met many retirees who stay in the closet out of fear of rejection or intimidation. Lyn Truitt, Surpriseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mayor, also expressed support for the community. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not a community that puts up barriers,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rather, we take them down.â&#x20AC;? The 32-acre Marigold Creek complex is scheduled to open the first of its units next year. The resort will eventually include 190 condos and homes priced between $249,000 and $850,000. Like other gated retirement communities it will have such amenities as swimming pools, walking trails, a fitness center, a theatre, cabaret and restaurants. Although the community is designed for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender retirees, units are available to retirees of all orientations.

Idaho Library Pulls Sex Books from Shelves Nampa, Idaho â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Nampa Public Library Board voted 3-2 on March 10 to put two controversial sex books in the library directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office, thereby removing them from shelves but not from circulation. The board made the compromise move to allow more time to look over the libraryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s policy on materials collection and the booksâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; place in that policy. Although they are no longer on the shelves, library patrons may still ask to check them out. The boardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vote came after 90 minutes of public testimony for and against keeping The New Joy of Sex and The Joy of Gay Sex on the shelves. The five-member boardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision is the latest step in a three-year battle to have the books permanently removed. In 2005, Nampa resident Randy Jackson asked the library to pull the volumes saying they were pornographic and children and teenagers could easily access them. The books were initially moved to a higher shelf to make them harder for children to reach. Jackson, a delivery driver and the director of Youth 4 Revolution, an antiabortion group, said that he was â&#x20AC;&#x153;happyâ&#x20AC;? about the decision.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We feel this was a victory for the city of Nampa and the community. The books are off the shelves,â&#x20AC;? he told the Idaho Press-Tribune. Others, however, said the boardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision is little more than censorship. Nampa resident Sally Moore, who has a gay son, said the books should stay because it is often difficult for gay people to find information about sex. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Supervise your child,â&#x20AC;? said Moore who described herself as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;pretty conservative little old lady.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Be with them when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in the library and make your own decision and allow me to make mine.â&#x20AC;? The three board members who voted to remove the books were appointed by Nampa mayor Tom Dale, who had previously spoken in favor of removing the books. Dale, however, balked when asked if he had appointed board members whose opinions of the books matched his own. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Absolutely not,â&#x20AC;? Dale said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an inappropriate question. I try to select based on recommendations made to me from citizens, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ask any screening questions like that whatsoever.â&#x20AC;? The boardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next meeting is scheduled for April 14.

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Opinion

Guest Editorial A Session of Misunderstanding by Will Carlson, Equality Utah Manager of Public Policy

When a legislative session ends in Utah, the gut reaction is to act as if we’ve been hit by a hurricane and look around for the damage. For those who revel in the regressive reasoning of our state legislature, the 2008 session was filled with some wonderfully bad moments. The most infamous moment was probably the “black baby” metaphor by Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan. From that comment and his subsequent attempts to change the subject, the rest of the state learned what lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Utahns already knew: Sen. Buttars is not sensitive in his treatment of those whom he deems as different. Ironically, I think that Buttars was sincere when he first apologized and said that he did not mean to be racist. I think that he blended metaphors and the result was, embarrassing and Freudian as it was, different from his intent. I met with Buttars two weeks after his baby turned ugly. He looked pretty haggard. As we spoke, we came to the conclusion that we had two things in common: both of us were on Capitol Hill trying to make things better, and both of us feel very misunderstood. Misunderstandings led to the success or defeat of most of the bills on Equality Utah’s agenda.

From the Editor The Power of Precinct Caucuses by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

Spring is in the air (do-do-do-dodoot-doot) and I couldn’t be happier. With spring comes warmer weather, longer days, flowers, hummingbirds, and no more legislative session. Back out on the deck nekkid with the morning coffee and newspaper. Oh .. TMI? Sorry. But another duty arises in spring as well. It’s precinct caucus time, formerly known as mass meetings. I’m guessing that sounded too Catholic for our fellow Utahns so they changed the name. Precinct caucuses are where 90 percent of the power to elect in this state comes from. Here’s how it works: People of all persuasions from neighborhoods across the state meet on a late March Tuesday night (this year it’s March 25) and elect a precinct chair, vice chair, secretary, treasurer, and most importantly either one, two or three delegates. These delegates are tasked to go to the county and state party conventions in April and May to elect who will run for seats in the House and Senate districts. (They also vote for a bunch of other less meaningful positions, but stop quibbling.) You probably know that in 90 percent of Utah’s districts, either a Republican or Democrat ends up winning the seat. It’s almost a sure thing, unless some heart-attack, scandal or “dark thing” slip of the tongue happens during the race. SO, let’s think about what that means. In your neighborhood, you will vote for an average of two delegates. Those two delegates will meet with about 40 other delegates from neighboring precincts. You know, the people all in the same ward. Those 40 or so delegates will cast votes and have a 9-in-10 chance that person will sit in the leather chairs on Capitol Hill the following January. Do you see the power in being one of those delegates?

Do you see why Gayle Ruzicka, the AFL-CIO and Equality Utah work so hard to get you to go to your precinct caucus and run for delegate? I used to be the chair of the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats, you know, back in the hey-day. We worked our asses off from Christmas to March 25th-ish to delegate credentials on gay and lesbian people in the state. We were made famous for our methods by none-other than Rod Decker, KUTV News. (I think he has legally changed his name to “Rod Decker KUTV News.” Have you ever heard him say just Rod?) We postcarded and lettered and phone-called and cajoled and threatened and stalked and ... well, let’s not get into the legal ramifications ... to get people to run for delegate. And it worked. Our first year found a few dozen fabulous bleary-eyed people in our caucus room at eight o’clock in the morning on a Saturday at Taylorsville High School. The second year, 60. That year, we targeted an anti-gay Democratic house member in the Rose Park district ... and won. Our handpicked Pete Suazo marched right from the high school doors to the capitol building (kinda). What Republican would win in that district in the general election. SO here we were, about 20-strong in the district and we hand-chose who the representative would be. Do you not think this is how easy Gayle has it? So, here is my call to anyone living within Chris Buttars’ Senate district: Get out to your precinct caucus and get elected as delegate. Do what it takes. Bring Mrs. Fields cookies. Green Jello. Whatever you think your neighbors would want to vote you in as delegate. My preference — go to the Republican caucus and vote in anyone but Buttars. You know a Republican will win the seat. Go work the system. Did I just ask you to go against your principles and cross party lines? Probably. Do I care? Not if it means ousting a dark, ugly thing. It’s been said that watching politics is like watching sausage being made. It’s disgusting to see, but the outcome is quite tasty. I have a taste for an anything-but-Buttars-burger. Don’t you? Q p.s. Go vote for your favorite gay- and lesbian-friendly businesses and such on page 11 of this issue or at qsaltlake.com

Fair Workplaces Rep. Christine Johnson, D-Salt Lake, sponsored House Bill 89, Antidiscrimination Act Amendments. This bill would have prohibited employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Misunderstanding: Legislative leadership was not convinced that “heterosexual” is also a sexual orientation. As a result, they saw this bill as one that only protected LGBT Utahns. Result: this bill was held without a vote. The issue will be re-considered over the summer by an interim legislative committee. Bullying and Hazing Rep. Carol Moss, D-Salt Lake City, sponsored House Bill 325 Bullying and Hazing, which set minimum standards for school districts to follow in order to address and prevent all forms of bullying and hazing. Misunderstanding: Many legislators were convinced that all children are equally at risk of becoming victims of bullying. In fact, LGBT students are at a much higher risk of bullying. Result: This bill passed on the final day of the session. Property and Estates Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake City, sponsored Wrongful Death Amendments, SB 73, which would have allowed people to designate who has standing in a court of law if they die due to negligence or malpractice. Currently, anyone who does not qualify as a spouse or child has no recourse if their family member dies. Misunderstanding: Some legislators felt that any official recognition of unmarried couples would lead to an endorsement of non-traditional families. Result: This bill passed favorably out of committee but never received a vote on the floor of the House or Senate. Sexually Transmitted Diseases Rep. Phil Riesen, D-Salt Lake City, sponsored HB 15, Control and Prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. This legislation will give the Department of Health funding for an education campaign to control and prevent the spread of chlamydia and gonorrhea. Misunderstanding: Because sponsors spoke only of how chlamydia and gonorrhea affect fertility among heterosexual females, the skyrocketing infection rates among gay males was never discussed. Result: This bill passed on the final day of the session. Domestic Violence Rep. David Litvack, D-Salt Lake City, reintroduced Domestic Violence and Dating Violence Amendments with HB 247. This legislation would make it easier for victims of violence to file protective orders against their abusers. LGBT victims would have the same protections as other victims.

Misunderstanding: This bill was labeled by opponents as an attack on the right to bear arms. Never mind the consequences of keeping guns in the hands of those who are physically abusive. Result: This bill passed out of committee but failed by a vote of 32-37 on the House floor.

Adoption Under current law, Utahns who are unmarried and cohabitate (live together in a romantic relationship) cannot foster, adopt or share parenting duties with their partners. Rep. Rebecca ChavezHouck, D-Salt Lake City, sponsored HB Bill 318 to delete the cohabitating restriction from the code, ensuring that the best interests of children take priority. Misunderstanding: Rep. Mark Walker told me that he was against this bill because he did not think gays and lesbians should be able to adopt. He did not consider that under current law, gay and lesbian Utahns can adopt as long as they are not living with their lovers. Result: This bill was held by the Rules Committee and never granted a hearing.

Queer Gnosis The Integral Approach to Queer Identity Part 2 By Troy Williams troy@qsaltlake.com

In my last column I spoke with Zen teacher, Diane Musho Hamilton, about the fundamentals of Integral Philosophy. In this segment, Diane applies an Integral understanding to the often fragmented nature of our various identities — queer, religious and national.

DMH: Okay. Basically, the universe itself has two directions. It has a direction toward autonomy and it has a direction toward communion. Arthur Kessler identified that everything in the Universe can be conceived as a “part-whole.” You are both a part and a whole. As a human community we require each other to survive. It’s deeply embedded in our evolution. You can’t exist apart from oxygen. You can’t exist apart from water or heat. You are completely embedded. And there is also a part of you that identifies as a separate being. The Buddha’s insight was that it is the identification with our separateness that creates suffering. An Integral perspective would say that we need to learn to identity with both parts of who we are. Each of us has the experience of being on the outside. You go into one context you are an insider and you belong. An hour later you could go into

This bill would “prohibit county and municipal legislative bodies from creating or establishing a registry or any other means to define, identify or recognize a domestic partnership, civil union or other domestic relationship other than marriage for any purpose.” Misunderstanding: When Senator Buttars made his baby comment, all of his bills received a black mark. Result: This bill was stopped before it ever got a vote on the Senate or House floor.

A representative from Taylorsville told me that “convincing me that there’s a need for legislation that helps you is your job, not mine.”

Local Government Authority Amendments Sen. Buttars sponsored Local Government Authority Amendments, SB 267. a different context and have precisely the opposite experience. So in your own awareness start to look into the question: how much communion do I want to cultivate and how much am I willing to be on the outside? There are many people who get their primary identity of being on the outside and challenging the status quo, and many people who love being in the middle. But the truth is that we’re both. TW: And yet there is an imbalance with myself and with a lot of people in our culture because that sense of separation becomes everything. It can be all consuming. How do we get back to that connection to the whole?

Revision to Local Government Sen. Greg Bell, R-Fruit Heights, sponsored Revisions to Local Government, SB 299. The bill will allow Salt Lake City’s registry to go forward as long as the city changes the name of the registry. Misunderstanding: Many legislators were convinced that a registered domestic partnership is identical to a licensed

DMH: Yes. In fact, there is a Harvard developmental psychologist named Robert Keegan who says development always occurs when what is once regarded as subject (“I”) becomes an object — where you can actually look at it in your awareness. You can separate yourself from your life, from your ego, from your sense of self. By disidentifying, we are able to reidentify at a greater stage of awareness. So the subject of one stage of development becomes the object of the subject of the next stage. That is literally how development happens.

By disidentifying we are able to reidentify at a greater stage of awareness.

DMH: In this particular moment as you and I are talking to each other, there is a continuum, where we can move toward separation or we can experience ourselves as more connected. What do you notice in our conversation that moves us toward communion? TW: A lot of it is language — when we use the word, “we.” And when we talk about our commonalities and those connections — we’re forming empathic bonds. DMH: Beautiful. So just noticing the difference of using the word “I” or “we.” Noticing the way in which we frame things as either separate or collective. And then always, being radically willing to listen to another perspective. The ability to surrender your own perspective enough to receive another person is probably the most profound thing we can do to create communion. But it’s very difficult, particularly if what someone is saying creates a difference in us. How do we return to communion? Practice your listening skills. TW: Sure. But I like to talk a lot! DMH: (laughs) Of course. Talking is the autonomous side. You’ve got to do both. TW: And when we begin to disidentify with our ego (our “Self”), and when we begin to identify with that which is bigger than our Selves, that is where transformation happens.

TW: For me it’s been this really interesting process of embracing my Mormon heritage, embracing my gay self, embracing my American identity (even when the actions of my country makes me angry) — and being able to actually say, “I am a gay Mormon American male” and includ-

marriage. Apparently these legislators only got married for the certificate and the family rate on tennis lessons at Liberty Park. Result: This bill passed the final day of the session. There are lessons to be learned from the 2008 legislative session and its many misunderstandings. One lesson is that in this conservative climate we are more likely to pass legislation if we can emphasize how it helps everyone and not “just” the queers. Another lesson is that most legislators don’t yet understand how our families are affected under current law. Both of these lessons call for more involvement from everyone in our community. A representative from Taylorsville told me that “convincing me that there’s a need for legislation that helps you is your job, not mine.” May heaven bless those legislators on the Hill who understand our community. And may we help all the other legislators understand that securing equal rights for LGBT Utahns and their families will not just help us, but will reaffirm the inherent worth of every Utahn. Q ing all of these facets of myself from an integrated perspective. It’s been challenging. DMH: What you are describing is a healthy process of development. You’ve gone through a process of disidentification, and at a later stage have been able to reidentify from a place that is more inclusive of the fact that you are gay or more liberal in your politics. But what you will find is that often in our culture and our religions is that we tend to push people out who want to have that larger identification. We keep people often at an ethnocentric level of development. So then you have to find your own identity elsewhere because within your own community you are not allowed to identify more broadly. If you are specifically of one faith you are not allowed to identify or to appreciate people of another faith. So our culture actually works to keep people from moving forward in their development. Diane can be found at bigmind.org and integralnaked.org. Podcast the entire interview at www.queergnosis.com.

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TW: I want to jump into the idea of identity. I grew up a Mormon kid in Oregon, and I was teased for being part of this strange and peculiar religion, which made me feel like an outsider who never quite belonged. At a very young age I began identifying with the margins and the fringe. Ironically as I got older I moved to Utah to fit in — but I was gay — and hence began identifying with another alienated, outsider class of people. And I’ve often wondered about the impacts of this on my psychological development. I sometimes wonder if I’m destined to be an outsider all my life. How do we obtain a sense of wholeness and belonging?

Homeless Youth Rep. Lorie Fowlke, R-Orem, sponsored Child and Family Protections, HB 23. This bill will make it a second degree felony for parents to abandon their children. Fourty-two percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT and one in four youth who come out are kicked out of their homes. This bill will hold parents accountable for rejecting their LGBT children. Misunderstanding: This bill was labeled as a way to hold polygamous parents responsible for kicking out their teen boys. But most homeless youth in Utah are LGBT and many were kicked out because of it. Result: This bill passed Feb. 21.

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Bullshattuck All Dogs and Babies Go to Heaven by Ryan Shattuck ryan@qsaltlake.com

I just so happen to be writing this column on the very day my dog celebrates his ninth birthday. Now, for those who are of the opinion that “facts” should “matter,” I’ll admit that today isn’t ‘technically’ my dog’s birthday but the one-year anniversary of the day I adopted him. I don’t actually know when my dog was born as the Utah Humane Society, where I adopted him, was unsure of his date of birth. I’ve since decided that for simplicity’s sake, I would celebrate the anniversary of the day I adopted him as his birthday. You know, similar to the way Karl Rove’s parents celebrate his birthday on the day they adopted him from a pack of wolves. My dog is my baby. Anyone who doubts that simply has to hear anything that comes out of my mouth. “Did I tell you about the time my dog …”; “Isn’t it cute that my dog …”; “You’ll never believe that my dog …” Yeah, I’m disgusting. For those who happen to be familiar with the stereotype of the gay man who effeminately babies his dog, this stereotype was based on one person. You’re welcome. Most gay men either a) own a dog, b) wish they owned a dog, or c) are a dog. Why is this? While dogs happen to be popular with people of all races, sexual orientations and walk of life, dogs tend to be even more popular in the gay community. I know many gay people who have dogs. In fact, the last time I wet to PetSmart to buy dog food, I encountered so many gay men in the aisles that I couldn’t help but wonder if I hadn’t somehow ended up at Try-Angles. Compounding my confusion is the fact that I have a habit of drinking at both Try-Angles and PetSmart. Gay men and women appear to have more of an affinity for dogs than straight men and women – is this true? One might assume this is because dogs are the closest way a gay man or woman may come to fulfilling their desire of having a complete family. My seasoned research team (who happens to go by the name of “looking stuff up on Google”) tells me that for those who happen to reside in the states of Arkansas, Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, New Hampshire or Utah, joint adoption is not an option. It only makes sense that gay men and women, in an attempt at fulfilling their desire to care for progeny, would turn to the next available solution. By which I mean dogs. To those who assumed the “next available solution” would be “porn,” I say, “that is incorrect.” Though I will admit porn never has to be taken in for a rabies vaccine. If by some bizarre twist of fate, Utah suddenly granted the right to gay men and women to adopt whomever we want (I call dibs on adopting Gary Coleman, but only because I’d be able to carry him around in a purse like a Chihuahua), would we be up to the challenge? I don’t know if I would; I have to admit that I’m comfortable with babying a dog instead of babying a baby. When I first adopted

my dog, many friends thought I wasn’t “responsible” or “mature” or “even that smart” to be able to care for a living being who made the inconvenient mistake of not being me. I proved these people wrong by caring for my dog for a year now. Nevertheless, taking a dog out to poop twice a day is quite different from a baby who poops seventeen times a day. And needs to be fed. And won’t sleep through the night. And who needs to learn the entire English language. And who needs to have a chaperone at his or her prom. And who needs to know where babies come from. I relish the fact that I never need to teach my dog where babies come from. Someday, we may be able to marry and adopt. Whether five years from now, ten years from now, or a Larry King lifetime from now, we may someday find ourselves living in a state where we are able to marry and adopt freely, and will find that the only thing preventing us from doing so is our own cowardice. Perhaps

Gay Geeks Everyone Knows It’s Buttars! by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

So, geeky ones, did you all see the cover of the last issue of Q? The one with Sen. Chris Buttars doing the devolution revolution as a brontosaurus? Well, before the end of the day it was published I’d shown it to just about everyone who was interested in severely photoshopped pictures of politicians, and a couple people who probably were just humoring me. “That looks more like a diplodocus,” my mother said, demonstrating flawless total recall of the dinosaur identification system almost all 6-year-olds teach their parents at one point. “A diplodocus? No way. It looks like Buttars-Cthulu,” my girlfriend said, demonstrating flawless total recall of the works of H.P. Lovecraft, which almost all geeks learn at one point. Elder dinosaur-gods in the legislature? Only in this state, home of Trent Harris films and other mondo bizarro things such as Joseph Smith sphinxes and the domestic-partnership-registry-that-really-isn’t-a-domestic-partnership-registryno-gay-sex-please-we’re-Utahns. Some days, living in this state really is like being part of a science fiction movie. A really, really bad one with rubber monster suits, stock footage and pre-Star Trek special effects. The kind you scream at with the cast of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Inspired by the ‘Buttarsaurus’ cover and in celebration of the 2008 General Legislative Session’s end (and the end of all the hours I spent MSTKing streaming recordings of Senate debates), “Gay Geeks” is proud to present a list of Sci-Fi shows that might be suited for our own embattled Senator and his peculiar brand of non-Earth logic. Hey, with the NAACP promising to sponsor a candidate to run against him in November, Buttars might be out of a job come November. Even dinosaurs stopped ruling the Earth at one point, you know? I’m just trying to be helpful. Without further ado ...

we might benefit to remember the following: If we can keep a plant alive for a certain period of time, we’ll know we’re ready for a pet. If we can keep a pet alive for a certain period of time, we’ll know we’re ready for a relationship. If we can maintain a relationship with someone for a certain period of time, we’ll know we’re ready for an adopted child. And if we can keep an adopted child alive for a certain period of time, then we’ll know we’re ready to own Sea Monkeys. Cause damn, those things are really, really hard to keep alive. I always kill my Sea Monkeys. But meanwhile, I have a bone-themed birthday party to throw.

Anagram

Ryan Shattuck is a syndicated columnist, University of Utah student, and loves his dog more than he loves most people (Jake Gyllenhaal, that obviously doesn’t apply to you).

_____ _’_______

Buttars & Friends: Ahem. Buttars is a dinosaur from our imagination And on the hill he writes bad bills And wastes our time with legislation. OK, so it isn’t more of a bad kid’s show than a bad Sci-Fi program, but when you consider we’re talking about the legislature here, the two kind of blur. And the set up really is perfect: After working all day at the capitol, a bunch of Republican senators find they have nothing to talk about at one of their secret meetings. The illegal immigrants have all been deported, everything alcoholic that also contains sugar has been banned, lollies have been swiped from all the kids at the Gateway Center. Seriously, there’s nothing to do. “I know!” says LaVar Christensen, who is inexplicably hanging around, despite not being an elected representative anymore. He unlocks a safe and pulls out a plush dinosaur with a permanent sour expression on his little reptilian face. Instantly, Buttars the Purple Buttarsaurus transforms into a singing, dancing, terrifying ... uh, guy in a neon dinosaur suit who leads the Senators in badly lip-synched, badly choreographed songs such as “This Old Man (Runs the State)” (to the tune of “Knick Knack Paddy Whack”) and everybody’s favorite “I Hate You (I Love Me).” Parents of Senators say that the show is educational and teaches such essential, Senatorial things like basic grammar and good moral values. Parents of children just change the channel to something a little more educational. Like Teletubbies. Jurassic Park IV: Oh God, Not Again!: In order to help the flagging state economy, a mad scientist (played by LaVar Christensen, who is inexplicably hanging around, despite not being an elected representative anymore) decides that putting actual dinosaurs in Dinosaur National Monument will attract tourists to the state. Unable to get a full sample of dinosaur DNA from mosquitoes preserved in amber, he substitutes Senator DNA to make up the missing sequences. The resulting creatures (named “Buttarsauruses” by the snarky mathematician character) run wild through downtown Salt Lake City, overturning gay bars and writing vaguely threatening letters to Fourth District Judges. Thrilled by what he has done, the scientist (who is still hanging around for no apparent reason) encourages the crea-

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This talk-show host and comedian will perform at True Colors 2008.

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PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 34

tures. Even when one of them snatches him up and scales the recently renovated Capitol dome. Efforts by crop dusters and Tribune cartoonist Pat Bagley to get the dinosaur to come down are useless. But thanks to some fast thinking by the snarky mathematician character and a team of archaeologists (played to perfection by local favorite band The Saliva Sisters), the Buttarsauruses are eventually rounded up and exiled on Jurassic Park, where they establish a theocracy. Peter Jackson vows to sue. South Park Season 12: Sen. Buttars’ Very Own Episode!: Mecha Streisand, an Akira-fied Cartman, hippies ... since season 1 South Park has had its share of city-destroying monsters, so why not Chris Buttars? Voiced Saddam Husseinstyle by series co-creator Trey Parker (“Heeey relax, guy! I can change!”), Buttars comes to South Park in search of a magic talisman that will allow him to defeat the Domestic Partnership Registry (played by Towelie, because I think that would be funny) once and for all. And when he finds out that similarly-named South Park child Leopold “Butters” Stotch has the talisman, he transforms into Buttarsaurus, a fire-breathing dinosaur who threatens, once again, to annihilate the quiet mountain town. Angry that people are besmirching his good name by confusing him with the Senator, Butters (the child) transforms into his alter-ego Professor Chaos to battle the rampaging dinosaur Buttars (the politician). Meanwhile, Cartman and Buttars become best friends forever ... until Cartman decides that Buttars’ penchant to call everything he doesn’t like “a black baby ... a dark, ugly thing” to be, in Cartman’s words, “gay.” Oh yeah. And LaVar Christensen hangs around town for no apparent reason, despite not being an elected representative anymore. OK, unless Buttars manages to embarrass himself nationally in true Oklahoma Senator Sally Kern-style, gay-friendly hetero life partners Trey Parker and Matt Stone probably won’t make an episode about him. But it’s a nice thought. So, Sen. Buttars. If you’re reading, know that there are plenty of roles open for you if you don’t win your next election. And LaVar Christensen, if you’re reading ... just why the hell were you hanging out in senate hearings this session despite not being an elected representative anymore? Q

by Ruth Hackford-Peer ruth@qsaltlake.com

When the credit card statement arrived, I realized that wiitail therapy had to end.

Mountain Meadows Mascara Carpetbaggers vs. Tea Baggers by Ruby Ridge ruby@qsaltlake.com

OK cherubs, I know Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m probably going to step on a few toes for talking about this, but what the hell. Did anyone else see the article in the March 8 Salt Lake Tribune about the sudden disappearance of The Gay Pages directory? It was buried in the depths of the money section of Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s paper, and considering there were no coupons or colorful pictures, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m surprised I noticed it at all. But I did! Oh speaking of coupons, J.C. Pennyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s has a buy-two-get-one-free sale on seamless supportcup bras with wide comfort straps for sizes all the way up to 42 Ds. So run, my pendulousyet-fiscally-conservative little bargain hunters! RUN! Oh wait, what was I talking about? Oh yes, The Gay Pages directory being swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle. Well, hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the paraphrased and shrunk-in-a-hot dryer version for those who missed it: The article reported that advertisers who had shelled out some big bucks to advertise in The Gay Pages directory have not seen this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s edition. The publisherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s address is a postal box in a UPS store; and calls and e-mails to the publisher are not being returned. Hmmm ... that seems a tad curious doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it, muffins? Well color me soooo not surprised! When the publisher of The Gay Pages directory blew into town last year and set up camp, I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really pay that much attention. But one day my business was contacted to advertise in the book because we were listed in some other gay publications. We get about five solicitations a week to advertise somewhere, so it was no big deal until the caller mentioned the whole gay angle. I was suddenly intrigued. During the sales pitch I asked about the companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s history and connection with the local gay community. Boy howdy, was that an awkward pause, let me tell you. Long story short, we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t advertise in the book because something was just slightly, weirdly off. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put my finger on it, but you know how you get that really odd vibe? My suspicions were

confirmed when the directoryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publisher Sean Wright was featured in a Channel 2 news piece about launching his directory. Rather than promote a superior product or his clever niche marketing, he just ripped on Q publisher Michael Aaron (thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my job, dammit!) and completely trash talked The Q Salt Lake Pages. I was in shock! Here was this straight guy with no connection to our community trashing someone who has worked on local gay and lesbian issues for decades, and who has worked tirelessly to create an economically viable gay media in Salt Lake City. I was APPALLED, so I jumped on the Princess Phone that very evening and demanded that Michael get a retraction and apology (one year later I still think Channel 2 has some â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;&#x2122;splaininâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to doâ&#x20AC;?). Michael didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to get caught up in a mud-slinging contest (oh, but you know I sure as hell did, petals!). He just wanted to let Wrightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s directory and his bizarro business model speak for itself. Apparently, the first (and so far only) Gay Pages directory was printed by the kazillions, and rather than focusing the book on gay folk and efficiently targeting distribution, he was randomly blanketing entire neighborhoods that â&#x20AC;&#x153;seemed gayâ&#x20AC;? like the Avenues, Ninth & Ninth, etc. Wow. That exhibits almost Karl Rovian direct mail targeting precision ... NOT! My first thought was, â&#x20AC;&#x153;what if some ultra-conservative gets one of these unsolicited things on his familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s doorstep? He will probably go berserk and blame the gay community.â&#x20AC;? After working on gay and lesbian social and political issues for years, and carefully building networks and bridges with the broader straight community, I felt like someone from the Pride Center, or some gay politico needed to go on TV and scream, â&#x20AC;?Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not us, we would never do something that tacky!â&#x20AC;? Well anyway, cupcakes, my rising blood pressure is not helping my arterial clogging, so I will leave you with this: If The Gay Pages directory does resurrect itself, then we as a community need some reassurances from Mr. Wright that his directory isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a hit and run advertising scam, and that he shows some type of real connection and support for the community that he is financially strip mining. Allegedly. Ciao, babies.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

I felt like someone from the Pride Center or some gay politico needed to go on TV and scream â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not us...we would never do something that tacky!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

QSaltLake is the publisher of The Q Salt Lake Pages, a competitor to the Gay Pages.

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To fully appreciate the column, you should brush up on your Wiig Latin: â&#x20AC;˘ Wii-bit: an itty bitty teeny tiny or even larger amount. For example a Wii-bit of debt is the debt that occurs when one puts a Nintendo Wii on credit. â&#x20AC;˘ Injurwii: An injury that occurs while playing the Wii. Often occurs because of wooden floors, socks and being a wii-bit of a klutz. â&#x20AC;˘ A shopping sprwii: a mad dash through the Wii section of a store where you buy every possible Wii accessory you can imagine only to put it on plastic at the check-out stand thus incurring a wiibit more debt. â&#x20AC;˘ The Wiikend: When you spend Friday night through Sunday night doing nothing more than playing Wii. â&#x20AC;˘ Calorwii: the calories you burn playing Wii. â&#x20AC;˘ Wiikipedia: The entire collection of Wiig latin just waiting to be fully developed. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure the URL is still available. â&#x20AC;˘ Wiipressed: Classified by small remote movement and generally a lack of Wii confidence. Wiipressed individuals just need a little more wii exposure to get over their self-consciousness. Winter is unbearable every year. But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the kind of unbearable that sneaks up on me until finally February arrives. Then I realize I cannot get off the couch except to wander over to the heater to sip coffee while wrapped in a blanket allowing the warm air to encompass the blanket and wrap me in warmth. This February was particularly bad. Still unemployed, there wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even a commitment of 8 to 5 to get me off my ass. I sat on the heater for two hours on Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day. Finally warm, there was nothing that would get me up. I knew there were dishes to do, little boys in need of their mother, I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t showered in days and my partner had to be wondering what she saw in me in the first place. Then Kim had an idea. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s buy a Nintendo Wii. I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be good for you.â&#x20AC;? We played the Wii a few weeks previous at her auntâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house. It was the most fun I had had all winter. I argued that there wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t extra money to buy a Wii; that we should wait until I got a job. But Kim was determined to get me off my ass. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Once you have a job, you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the time to play the Wii. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s get it.â&#x20AC;? We spent the next four days stalking local Wii dealers but to no avail. I decided to continue the search from the comforts of home. On the heater still â&#x20AC;&#x201D; this time with the phone â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I called department stores, electronics stores, game stores, but the Wii was in short supply. I finally got an insiderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tip from a store employee and I showed up at the right time, left with a Wii and a credit card slip â&#x20AC;&#x201D; just a â&#x20AC;&#x153;wiiâ&#x20AC;? bit of debt. I stayed up into the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wiiâ&#x20AC;? hours of the night bowling and playing baseball. I was alive with video game endorphins that lasted for days. But then another storm arrived with gray clouds and rain that turned to snow. Even my new toy couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t keep me happy. This was the start of a two-week shopping spree, dubbed a shopping â&#x20AC;&#x153;sprwiiâ&#x20AC;? by my partner and I. We bought Mario, Shrek

room â&#x20AC;&#x153;wii proofingâ&#x20AC;? it so we could avoid additional injurwiis. My 6-year-old faithfully wears his wiimote safety strap, but he has also been known to punch the television in a lapse of judgment and depth perception. When spring truly arrives with its temperatures in the 60s, I will be outside to bask in the sunshine. But until then, I will wiimain in my living room, burning a few more calorwiis sitting on the heater, Wiing and waiting, Wiiing and waiting, Wiing and waiting for spring.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

inc.

Ruth Hackford-Peer Wiig Latin

and a game where you shoot plungers at rabbits â&#x20AC;&#x201D; now thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a cure for winter. Whenever the heater called my name, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d hop in the car to buy a second â&#x20AC;&#x153;wiimote,â&#x20AC;? a nunchuck, rechargeable batterwiis, more games, a box to store it all in. This was my own form of wiitail therapy and it made the last part of Februawii bearable. When the credit card statement arrived, I realized that wiitail therapy had to end. So I got busy with cheaper Wii endeavors. I Wii-arranged the living

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Boyzilian Smooth as a... by Guy Libby

Local photographer David Daniels makes a subtle change to The Gateway’s sign and makes it more truth-inadvertising-ish. myspace.com/davdaniels

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RANT. RAVE. QSaltLake Welcomes letters from our readers. Send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@qsaltlake.com We reserve the right to edit for length, appropriateness and libel.

I used to be so conservative. I sometimes think I still am. I have little patience for those who abuse the laws, substances or each other. I think people who indulge in sex outside of marriage, or at least a committed relationship, are both selfish and irresponsible. Yet, how do I explain my recent actions? Or my longer-term, hidden/ suppressed desires? Yesterday, I met with a laser aesthetician at A New Day Spa, an advertiser in QSaltLake. We discussed options for removing the back hair that has long made me feel less-attractive. Yeah, I don’t like the hair on my abs either, and what’s a brazilian? And you can do that for how much? So this morning I ponied up enough to cut my savings in half (Ouch!) which is more than my CAR cost. But my car was used, old and cheap, though in very good condition. And really, wasn’t I saving the money just to spend it someday? And won’t this help the economy? I was nervous because I’m not comfortable with my body when I’m alone, and I was about to be naked in front of a woman. She was very patient with me, and invited me to keep my shorts on to begin. We started on my abs. She rubbed the (cold) gel across my stomach, showed me how cold the air coolant would feel and began to zap me. Most of the zaps I could barely feel, but every now and then one got my attention. After the stomach, I rolled over and she did the back in two parts, first the lower and then the upper. And then the back of my neck (thrown in for free!). And then the moment of truth — I pushed my trunks down to my thighs, balanced my chest on the edge of the

She rubbed the (cold) gel across my stomach, showed me how cold the air coolant would feel, and began to zap me.

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table and brought my knees up, pushing my butt in the air. I twitched a lot, making her concerned that I was in pain. No, I just couldn’t keep from twitching. Maybe it was just reflex, like the mallet on the knee. Finally, I rolled to my front. She helped me pull my shorts the rest of the way down to my sock-covered ankles, and directed me to move my knees apart to open up some room. I wasn’t very coherent as I tried to explain what I wanted for this area (leave the bottom half of the bush). She had already explained that she wouldn’t be zapping my genitalia. She was incredibly professional as she covered my equipment with a towel, and pushed it to one side and another as she worked the different areas. And then we were done. So in four weeks, after things have a chance to grow back (or not), we’ll go through this process again. This time, having been through the process, maybe I can handle my nudity without losing my coherence. Maybe I’ll be able to frankly discuss my body and its parts. And maybe I’ll start to feel more comfortable (less repulsed) about my body. As a follow-up to the hair removal: For a few days after the appointment, I was convinced I had just wasted an incredible sum of money. The hair continued to grow unabated in the treated areas. But only for a few days. By the end of a week, it was obvious that untreated areas were growing normally, and treated areas were growing much slower, if at all. And at about 10 days, some of the hair in the treated area began to pull out. Whenever I see myself naked, I go back and forth on the removal of pubic hair. When I had treatment #1, I said to leave the bottom half of the pubic area. But I vacillate. Should I get rid of everything I can? I am paying for it, after all. But what will I want in five or 10 years? Will I wish I could grow some bush? (Oh please, like anyone but my doctor will ever see what I decide ...) Q

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Steven Fales: A Princess in Mormondom and Other Works By Tony Hobday

Over seven years ago, the Utah stage was taken by storm with an acclaimed controversial one-man play called Confessions of a Mormon Boy. This month, Steven Fales — the brainchild behind it — returns to Salt Lake City with the sequel Mormon American Princess. The limited two-night performance benefits the Utah Pride Center. Through Mormon Boy, we learned of Fales’ marriage and subsequent divorce, his excommunication and subsequent descent into the underbelly of prostitution and drugs. This time around, Fales is dealing with something new ... narcissism, and he’s sharing it as a “cabaret fireside.” “It still deals with my life, but there’s more singing and comedy,” Fales said. “The whole thing is an exploration of narcissism.” The show recaps, through prose and song, Fales’ growing up mormon in what he calls Mormondom, his obsession with money in Las Vegas and coming out in New York. From touching and powerful ballads to parodies of Broadway show tunes and original songs, Fales illustrates a road less traveled with heart, humor and a touch of vanity. “I gender bend a lot of the songs,” Fales said. “How many

male ex-hookers sing ‘I Don’t Know How to Love Him.’” In addition, how many gay ex-mormons sing “Son of a Preacher Man”? Or how many narcissists sing “Making Love Alone”? These are the questions so many Utahns may ask themselves over Family Home Evening. Fales’ princess also relates insight into mom & dad, cults, Mitt Romney and the 13 steps of Narcissists Anonymous all in just over an hour. Cabaret Scenes magazine said of Fales’ Mormon American Princess performance, “[He] possesses a beautiful lyric tenor, perfectly suited to his very theatrical delivery.” Fales’ company Mormon Boy Productions also presents this spring an acclaimed autobiographical one-man play The Eyes of Babylon, written by gay Iraq War veteran Jeff Key. “This is a powerful show,” Fales said. “It just had a great nine-month run in L.A.” The story follows Key from the morning of Sept. 11, 2001 through his time as a marine in Iraq, to his return to Utah to start a life of political activism. The performance runs Apr. 3-19 at the Rose Wagner Center. There are many other projects on the horizon. Fales is currently working on a

new book Oxy-Mormon Memoirs. “It goes much more in depth about my relationship with my mother,” Fales said. “And my therapy overcoming prostitution.” Two additional plays in production are Sacred Strain and The First Wife’s Tale. The first is about Evan Stephen — the father of Mormon music, the back story of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Stephen’s homosexuality; second is a onewoman play, which Fales co-wrote. It’s the story of Emma Smith, the first wife of Joseph Smith, and the beginnings of polygamy in America. “These are the stories the Mormon church doesn’t want you to hear, and I’m in to telling them,” Fales said. “I’m committed to telling stories of Mormondom thoroughly, ruthlessly, but also generously. I don’t have a temple recommend holding me back anymore.” Fales would like to start teaching classes on his “forte,” solo performances — how to write, perform and produce one-person acts. “You just have to have the right combination of insanity and narcissism,” said Fales. “And also heart. A lot of us get up there [on stage] to make

a difference, try to change the world with our story.” “Mormon Boy is my contribution to helping end spiritual abuse in churches,

“These are the stories the Mormon church doesn’t want you to hear, and I’m into telling them” mosques and synagogues,” Fales continued. “My stories of Mormondom are told specifically from a queer point of view and seem to translate universally in their themes.” Confessions of a Mormon Boy will return to Salt Lake City for a final act July of 2008, and will be premiered with The Eyes of Babylon in Dublin, Ireland,

May of 2008. Also Mormon Boy will be released as a documentary film, and will include a discussion of its themes and other extras. Fales hopes to submit it to Sundance before next year’s festival. Mormon American Princess will be produced off Broadway later this year, as well as taken to the sea aboard “highscale” cruise ships including one to the South of France where Fales will perform with Coco Peru. Through it all: his mission, marriage, divorce, excommunication, drug addiction and prostitution, Fales has proven success through strong conviction and incredible artistic talent. Fales, though narcissistic as he claims, also seems humbled by his ex-wife Emily Pearson — who he calls his best friend — and by his two children. There also appears to be a great respect for Carol Lynn Pearson, Emily’s mother, who Fales says ushered in what he calls the “Mormon Arts Renaissance.” Q Mormon American Princess runs two nights only, Mar. 29-30 at the Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $25–30, call 355ARTS or visit arttix.org.

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‘Shut Up and Dance’ is an Incredible Odyssey BY TONY HOBDAY

TONY@QSALTLAKE.COM

Some 13 years ago, a man ... a 25-year veteran of just about every art form from film and television to choreography and Broadway theatre ... realized an untapped niche in Utah. When this man moved back to the state he discovered a “a huge pool of talent” that was unfortunately being unecessarily suppressed. “If you spend your life to become an artist, you should create it every once and awhile,” said Derryl Yeager, founder and Artisitc Director of Odyssey Dance Theatre. And so there it began as the oncenamed Utah Contemporary Dance Theatre, a place where this stagnant pool of talent could move in unimaginable ways. Yeager formed a phenomenal company of 24 dancers with highly technical proficiency in many styles of dance including ballet, modern, hip-hop, jazz, tap and ballroom — an extraordinary opportunity to create experimental and cutting edge dance. Though, according to Yeager, it had started out as a difficult journey. This unprecedented genre of dance was snubbed by the local arts community. Even today Odyssey Dance Theatre receives only a small amount of funding. Yeager said his annual grant doesn’t even cover paper costs. Fortunately audience appeal has helped keep the dance going as Yeager also claimed that currently 70

percent of the budget comes from ticket sales. Beyond the local success of Odyssey (including Best of State awards two years running), the company had a successful New York debut last year. They are also gearing up for their fourth annual European tour this April. The success of Odyssey could very well be attributed to Yeager’s ingenuity, the versatile dancers and unique performances, but behind the scenes is really where the success begins. Yeager connects with the dancers — honestly befriends and respects each of them. In fact some of his dancers have stuck by him for 10 years now, which, according to Yeager, is not normally the case in the profession. There is, however, some compromise to creating Odyssey performances. The dancers start rehearsals quite early in the day, which is also not normally the case. And sometimes difficult decisions must be made that are disappointing for some. Yeager’s insight into a huge pool of talent in Utah had recently been nationally noticed as four of his male dancers were chosen to compete in the third season of the television hit So You Think You Can Dance?. Unfortunately, and through much difficulty, Yeager could only give up two: Christian Denice and Matt Dorame. Look for these two in April

as they try to prove to the nation they can dance. Even with seven hour daily rehearsals beginning early morning (five days a week, seven to eight weeks prior to each production), the excitement, the love of the art is apparent in the eyes, smiles and minds of the dancers. In one such rehearsal, the energy is high and the comaraderie is playful as the dancers surge through the last hour of the day rehearsing a fast-paced Salsa number. This same Salsa piece, choreographed by Alex Catreras, is one of several premiere numbers on stage during this season’s repertory smash-hit Shut Up & Dance. This year’s programs are: The return of ‘Let It Be’, the extremely popular Beatles anthology; the return of ‘Moulin Rouge!’, full of color, humor and sassiness; and ‘Club Calloway’, which will include a 20-piece band on the stage, zuit suits, feather boas and tappers. Calloway has replaced Yeager’s original selection of ‘West Side Story.’ “I had only one gang, and the girls are too pretty — I couldn’t make them guys,” Yeager joked about its dissolution. Also on the roster are four world premiere numbers by Dee Caspary, Trey Barber, and Odyssey members Eldon Johnson, Christian Denice, Bonnie Story and Tiffany Carpenter. Yeager’s unique market for dance doesn’t stop here; he also takes a vested interest in grooming diverse talent in new, young dancers. Dance Utah! and Odyssey II are two educational programs under the Odyssey umbrella. Dance Utah! is an annual summer intensive, where 30-40 children are selected for all dance genre classes. Odyssey II is a scholarship program run by 2006 emmy award-

winner Bonnie Storey (for High School Musical), and includes an annual May production. Derryl Yeager and Odyssey Dance Theatre, through early financial hardship, persistence and ingenuity has become a renowned “jazz ballet company.” “We try to make a connection with each audience, create a hook for each show,” said Yeager. Apparently Odyssey really does take audiences on an ‘eventful journey.’ Q Odyssey Dance Theatre’s Shut Up & Dance runs May 19-29 at Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, UofU. Tickets $15–35, call 581-7100 or visit kingtix.com.

Three different programs in repertory:

> Let It Be > Club Calloway

Featuring the live big band sound of Synthesis!

> Moulin Rouge!

“Odyssey displays passion and versatility... BRAVO!” - Scott Iwasaki Deseret News

the f m o Fr eator o r

! ! ! r e l hril

Kingsbury Hall | March 19-29 Ask about our Kingsbury KAMP OUT DISCOUNT!

Call now for tickets: 801.581.7100 www.odysseydance.com

Spring Arts THEATRE & DANCE ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS academyofpa.org

Miracle Worker Feb. 29–Mar. 22 The Sound of Music May 2–24 BROADWAY ACROSS AMERICA-UTAH broadwayacrossamerica.com

Annie Apr. 8–13, Kingsbury Hall Stomp Jun. 3–8, Capitol Thtre The Drowsy Chaperone Jun. 25–29, Capitol Thtre High School Musical Jul. 29–Aug. 3, Capitol Theatre DESERT STAR THEATERS desertstar.biz

Park City’s a ‘Cabaret,’ Ol’ Chum BY TONY HOBDAY

TONY@QSALTLAKE.COM

Cabaret is currently playing through Apr. 5 at the Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main Street, Park City. Tickets $18-48, call 435-649-9371 or visit egyptiantheatrecompany.org.

egyptiantheatrecompany.org

the-grand.org

Inherit the Wind Mar. 7–22 Big River May 2–17 HALE CENTRE THEATRE

halecentretheatre.org

The Civil War Feb. 19–Apr. 5 Annie Get Your Gun Apr. 14–May 31 The Curious Savage Jun. 5–Jul.19 Big — The Musical Jul. 29–Sep. 20 ODYSSEY DANCE THEATRE odysseydance.com Shut Up & Dance Mar. 19–29

PIONEER THEATRE COMPANY

pioneertheatre.org

The Heiress

Mar. 14–29 The Producers Apr. 25–May 10 PLAN-B THEATRE COMPANY planbtheatre.org

The End of the Horizon Mar. 14–30 Slam ’08 May 17 The Tricky Part May 30–Jun. 15 And the Banned Played On July 21 PYGMALION THEATRE COMPANY pygmalionproductions.org

Sordid Lives April 25–May 10 REPERTORY DANCE THEATRE rdtutah.org The Weight of Memory Apr. 10–13 RIRIEWOODBURY DANCE COMPANY ririewoodbury.com Cabaret of Fools Annual Beneﬁt Mar. 29 Rewind Apr. 24–26

SALT LAKE ACTING COMPANY

saltlakeactingcompany.org

The Clean House Apr. 2–27 Saturday’s Voyeur 2008 Jun. 4–Aug. 10 UofU BABCOCK THEATRE theatre.utah.edu

Blood Wedding Apr. 2–13 UofU STUDIO 115 theatre.utah.edu Notes on a Sunday Mar. 27–30 Treasure Apr. 17–20 UofU MODERN DANCE dance.utah.edu Senior Concert #2 Mar. 27–29 Student Concert Apr. 10–12

ART EXHIBITS A GALLERY agalleryonline.com Kanatsiz & Gilson: Enigmas Mar. 27–Apr. 30 John O’Connell May 15–Jun. 14 Summer Solstice Jun. 21–Jul. 21

The Landscape Today: Contemporary American Landscape Jul. 31–Aug. 25 KIMBALL ART CENTER kimball-art.org

Teapots: Object to Subject Apr. 6–May 25 Robert Glenn Ketchum: Nature Jun. 1–Jul. 13

PHILLIPS GALLERY

phillips-gallery.com

Deborah Hake Brinckerhoff & Heather Barron Mar. 21–Apr. 11 Tom Howard Apr. 18–May 9 SALT LAKE ART CENTER slartcenter.org

Gaylen Hansen: Three Decades of Paintings through May 31 UTAH MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS umfa.utah.edu Susan Swartz: Natural Revelations through Apr. 13 Monet to Picasso from the Cleveland Museum of Art Jun. 23–Sep. 21

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When thinking of cabaret, beautiful women and/or men in sparkling gowns and frilly outfits may be envisioned, the movie Moulin Rouge! may come to mind or grandiose and fervent singing may fill the ears. But German cabaret theatre in the early thralls of the Nazi regime was anything but glamorous and lifting. Park City’s Egyptian Theatre Company produces a visually articulate and subtle adaptation of John Van Druten’s play Cabaret. Set in 1930s Berlin, Cabaret is a rich, but dark story of two doomed love affairs. As originally produced, the show focuses around Sally Bowles (Ginger Bess), a popular cabaret performer at the seedy Kit Kat Club and the American writer, Clifford Bradshaw (Jon Brady Copier), whith whom she falls in love. When Sally suddenly finds herself “with child” and unsure of who’s the father, Clifford hastily claims allegiance to the unborn child and asks Sally for her hand in marriage. ETC’s production however, directed by Terence Goodman, downplays Clifford’s sexuality, which hinders the awkward nature of his and Sally’s romance. Goodman also seemingly upstages the romance between Fraulein Schneider (Jayne Luke), who runs a boardinghouse, and Herr Shultz (Fredric Cook), a Jewish store owner. The up-play of the courtship of this “older” couple is refreshing, and the lack of passion — though occasionally brooding — is perfectly relevant to the period. This production is not meant to be larger-than-life and unfortunately nearly the entire cast, whom are all

quite decent in their profession, are not exactly memorable — the gloomy undertones and the thick air just make it so. In particular Ginger Bess’ performance as Sally Bowles was somewhat blasé until the final scenes when a wall finally came down (no pun intended). Yet, certainly the most entertaining character of Cabaret is the Kit Kat Club’s Master of Ceremonies, and Goodman’s casting of Christopher Glade (Saturday’s Voyeur 2007) is simply brilliant. Glade’s performance as the sexually unvexed bohemian emcee is sharp, whimsical and truly cabaret. Costume Designer Phillip R. Lowe nicely creates a touch of the “Weimer Republic.” (Humorously, if one is not familiar with the story, one may complain the Kit Kat Girls are a bit haggard and unseemly.) The performers’ bruised limbs and harsh demeanors historically depict the “rough” state of ’30s Berlin society. The setting of five ‘cabaret tables’ flush with the stage (available to theatregoers), the personal interaction with the table audience and a five-piece live orchestra just adjacent to the stage are really great touches to this production. As I’ve said before Egyptian Theatre Company takes risks with their productions, which is admirable; also they nearly always create good, entertaining theatre by taking large, difficult productions — such as Cabaret — and giving them an unsual ETC spin, which is real art in itself.

The Wizard of Odd Mar. 27–Jun. 7 Indiana Bones Jun. 12–Aug. 3 EGYPTIAN THEATRE COMPANY

Cabaret Feb. 22–Apr. 5 Defending the Caveman Apr. 17–19 Park City Follies May 1–3 Come Together: A Tribute to the Beatles May 8–10 Altar Boyz Jun. 27–Aug. 1 GRAND THEATRE

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Marty Moran Tackles His Abusive Past in Plan-B’s ‘The Tricky Part’ Michael Aaron: I know you have to be in the subway in about a half hour, so let’s just jump in. Can you give us a Readers’ Digest synopsis of the story of The Tricky Part? Marty Moran: In the words of Mike Nichols, this is a story that’s really about something else. It’s really a story about a grown man who goes on a journey to confront his past. On the face of it, it is a story of a boy who finds himself in a sexual relationship with an older man, in a strict religious context, at too early an age. But on a deeper level, it is about a 42-year-old man confronting a 60-year-old man about what happened in their past. And it’s really about forgiveness and an inquiry into compassion and the ability to let go of the past. To be able to let go of something is quite amazing. MA: So, Tricky Part is an autobiographical story of a sexual relationship you had with a much older man, a counselor at a boys camp run by your church, when you were 12 to 15 years old. Has the taboo nature of the subject hurt or helped it get to an audience?

Lorin Klaris

MM: That is a great question. I really think the answer to that is “both.” I am grateful when people write about the play in a universal sense, because it is a human story of forgiveness and how we cope with the past. In the

I thought, “I’ve got to extricate this guy from my life.” I had heard rumors that there was trouble; that they were after him. So, in a panic, I completely cut the relationship off. I put an end to it at that point. To tell the truth, the relationship had fizzled on its own accord. Moving into young adulthood, I thought, “This is really screwed up. I gotta get away.” MA: After the relationship ended, you moved from the all-boy Jesuit high school to a public high school and began acting. Did that help the healing process or just throw you more into confusion? MM: Going to public school was like suddenly going from a world of black and white to a world of color, almost literally. There were people of every race and creed, girls and boys. It was an immediate release to enter the secular world, where the definition of being a good person was expanded from the Catholic sense of having to be perfect. It was particularly wonderful when I found the high school’s drama program. It was there that I had an incredible sense of finding my voice, literally. I found out I could sing. I discovered my voice and found that it was a powerful portal of healing. And the drama department was a tremendous place — a family of misfits. Everything happens in the theater. Everyone from the geeks to the jocks who get to play a part with their shirts off — it’s a great collection of human beings. It transformed my life. I din’t know at the time that it would become my profession.

MA: When and how did you realize you were gay and how did you come to terms with that? MM: I’m sure you’re not as old as me, but ... MA: We’re about the same age.

Martin Moran

universal sense, that affects everybody. When people get a whiff of what it is about, it is reduced to a sex scandal in the Catholic Church. That has scared away as many people as it’s attracted. Most people are afraid of it. But the play really seeks to find meaning in a difficult story. MA: In a review I read, the writer said that your one-man show was more of a confessional than a play. MM: I disagree with that. It drives me nuts when people say it’s a confessional. It is an exploration — a theatrical event as ancient as theater is — it’s a storytelling. It’s provocative, not just some guy confessing his woes. As Peter Meinke said, “I’m not a confessional poet. I’m a guy who is talking about his past and creating myth and legend.” MA: In Salt Lake, your part is being played by another actor. What is it like to see someone else playing you and how does it change the dynamic of the show? MM: Well, it goes back to the play versus the confessional. It is a play and it’s gratifying to know that the play is being performed by other actors because it is a play. It is outside of me, even though it is deeply personal. What is deeply personal becomes universal in its complexity. This has been performed in Australia, South Africa, Iowa, Buffalo, Chicago. The only time I’ve seen it performed was in South Africa, played by a wonderful actor. It was jarring to see him at first as he came out on the stage and said, “Hi. I’m Marty. Welcome to the theater.” Then a wonderful thing happened: I saw that it worked as a play, separate from me. It’s carefully structured and was great to see it working without me. MA: So, back to the story. How did the relationship end with Bob, the 30-year-old camp counselor? MM: When I was 15, I entered high school and I had this overwhelming feeling that I had to end the relationship. I needed a chance to become a man and grow up.

MM: Well, there was a lot of pressure to hide and try to be straight. Really, it happened to me, later in college. One day I kind of hooked up with this guy who was also nominally straight — a jock on campus — and we ended up cuddling one night. I realized at that moment that he [the camp counselor] did not do this to me. This is who I am. I am homosexual. I stayed up all night wandering the campus in a daze. “This is authentically who I am,” I thought. This is when I wanted to tell my family. I went home on break and told my mom and it was a disaster. We barely spoke for two years. I later told my dad and he didn’t take it very well. We never mentioned it again. I am so amazed these days at how out gay kids are. It’s amazing and fantastic that they are not struggling with the same terror. So, I was about 19 or 20 and got a glimpse that this was authentic for me. It took a lot of sorting out. It’s hard when you are sexualized when you are so young to pinpoint what is real. Did the relationship screw with my wiring? But then, there was always a part of me that knew [I was gay]. MA: Tell me about the journey of bringing this to the stage, and then a book, 30 years later. MM: I’d been scribbling really privately for a long time, since my late 20s. There was a time actually, I was in Utah doing “Singing in the Rain” at Pioneer Memorial Theatre. I fell and hurt myself and tore my ACL and ended up at LDS hospital. I was on crutches and in a cast and didn’t want to come back to Manhattan and deal with the subway and walking. So I went to Denver with my family. I was laying in bed with my knee in the air and these memories started coming back to me — what happened when I was 12. Everywhere I looked there were these minefields pointing to this secret I was keeping. I scribbled more and more. I thought, “You were having sex at 12 years old. What was going on?” I hid it away, but kept working on it. I pulled them out one day and said to myself, maybe this is a book. I’m working on a book, but I don’t have to tell anyone. Then a friend asked me if I had a performance piece I could do. I told him no, but I was working on a book. They called and suggested that I come and read an hour from my book. I said, “Let me think about that.” I went to meet Seth Barrish and read him an hour of these pages. He said, “This really should be a theatre piece.” I said, “No way.” We did some workshop performing of it in the fall of 2002 through spring of 2003 and slowly it be-

Martin Moran at 12-years-old.

came a play with Seth’s help. I finished the book in 2005. MA: I understand that you are now 23 years into a relationship with your partner, Henry. How have your past experiences affected your relationship? MM: The great thing about living with an artist — Henry is a wonderful actor and piano player — is the way in which Henry understood what I was doing as an artist. I was finding a voice as an artist. It was nourishing for us. That the play went so well, he felt very proud. Ultimately, to tell you the truth, we talked about a lot of tough territory. Before anyone else saw the play, I needed to have Henry see it. There’s a lot of tough stuff in there — things about sexual compulsiveness and such. We learned to take great pleasure, great pride in what we were doing. Henry saw it as beautiful. It brought us close that he celebrated that with me. Though he is in the book, it’s not about him. And here we are, still going a day at a time for 23 years. We celebrated our 23rd anniversary two weeks ago. MA: Tell us what you think of Bob, the camp counselor, today. MM: Mostly I feel ... look, this guy lived inside me like a mountain, a myth. Laying eyes on him brought him to what he really is — a fragile, sad human being. I feel a kind of compassion towards him. I still have bouts of anger towards him — how could he do that to kids? But I saw how much beside the point he is. The point is your relationship with yourself. If you allow someone to have their hands around your throat strangling you, then they do. Meeting and coming to terms with him changed my life from the past to the present. MA: What are you working on now? MM: I’m working on a new book called “After They Left” about three very old relatives of mine who died in the 90s. I’m working on a screenplay of “Tricky Part.” Sundance brought me in to the Screenwriters Lab to work on it. I’m also auditioning for the next gig. I completed a run of “Tricky Part” in D.C., which just closed. MA: Well, thank you for taking the time to talk with me. I’m looking forward to the show. MM: Well, I’m excited about Salt Lake’s burgeoning community. I’m honored that it is being done out there in my boyhood country. As a kid I would always backpack and ski in Utah. I think it’s wonderful. Q

The Utah Bear Alliance presents

THE 2008 MR. UTAH BEAR AND CUB CONTEST

Are you man enough? VISIT WWW.UTAHBEARS.COM

Join us for another exciting weekend including: FRIDAY MARCH 28

A special Bear Jam/Contestant Meet & Greet

True Colors Tour Returns

engage and organize equality voters in this year’s election.” “This year’s True Colors Tour will provide us with a historic opportunity to organize our community to achieve a powerful voice in the 2008 elections,” he continued. Lauper agreed. “This year the party only gets bigger and our message to the fans is to get out and vote in November,” she said. “True Colors is a good way to get out the vote,” added The B-52s’ Fred Schneider, “and get out of the house and party!” The True Colors Fund of Stonewall Community Foundation was created in 2008 to generate financial support to directly benefit the tour’s non-profit partners, CenterLink (a Washington, D.C.-based coalition of 168 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community centers in 45 states) and Parents, Families, Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Funds for these organizations will be raised through sales of official benefit T-shirts, eBay auctions of tour memorabilia, and sales from the tour’s official jeweler, True Colors Jewelry Collection by Love & Pride that will launch in June. Individual donations to the fund for these organizations can also be sent through the tour’s Web site. Additionally, as last year, the True Colors Fund will donate $1 of every ticket sold to the HRC. The True Colors Tour will return to Utah on July 4 at the USANA Ampitheatre with special guests The B-52s, Rosie O’Donnell, Joan Armatrading, Nona Hendryx and host Carson Kressley. Tickets go on sale March 22 at 10:00 a.m. They will be available at all SmithsTix outlets (at 467-TIXX, 800-888-TIXX and smitshtix.com) and at The E Center. The 2008 True Colors Tour will kick off Gay & Lesbian Pride Month at Boston’s Bank of America Pavilion on May 31. For more information about the tour visit truecolorstour.com.

Special Activities and Contest SUNDAY, MARCH 30

Congratulatory Brunch

AT CLUB TRY-ANGLES A private club for members

Salt Lake Center for Spiritual Living If you heard the following words, what would you think ?

Vision : “Empowered people sharing in spiritual growth, learning, and prosperous living, recognizing the Divine in every one and every thing.” Mission: “Holding shared values, we provide a center for spiritual experience, education, social activities and community involvement, celebrating life.” When I read these words, I say to my self that this may be a great place to be. Then I find out it is a church and say, “Hmmmm, do I believe that there is a “church” that really has this philosophy? Then I read “Change your thinking, change your life.” What does that mean? Does that mean that there is something wrong with my thinking ? Some may say, there is nothing wrong with me so why should I go to a place to change my thinking? Good question. Answer — you are correct, we are perfect just the way we are — But, do you have all you want and are there things that you may want in your life ? You can probably agree that we have gotten to the place we are now by our past experiences. So, if there are things that you want to work on, this may be a place to play and look at your thoughts. Why you ask ? Because of the tools that you can learn from this philosophy. This place gives you tools to build you up. It does not tell you what to do, it gives suggestions and thoughts that maybe you did not think of before. Have you ever thought that if you build yourself up, you can assist on building others up. If you are not built up enough yourself, how can you assist others?

We believe in Cause & Effect and especially choice. Whatever we believe, we create. Whatever we sow, we reap. We experience the consequences of this freedom of choice. The Salt Lake Center For Spiritual Living is a place where you can be yourself and learn that our logo, “V”, means : My thoughts + My mind = My reality. If this may be something you are interested in, please come and join us on Sundays at 9:30 & 11:00 a.m. at 870 E. North Union Ave. (7145 South - S.W. of Hoppers) www.spirituallyfree.org

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The popular gay-friendly True Colors Tour, which rocked several U.S. cities, including Salt Lake, in 2007, will hit the road on another whirlwind tour starting May 31. Produced by True Colors Concerts in partnership with the Human Rights Campaign and presented by gay cable network Logo in support of the newly created True Colors Fund of Stonewall Community Foundation, the five-hour concert is scheduled for a 24-city North American tour this year. The tour was created in 2007 by pop artist Cyndi Lauper as a way to support the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community who have been among her most supportive fans since her debut in 1983. “I’m so excited and honored that we’re taking True Colors out on the road again this year,” Lauper said. “We had a blast last year and we are proud that the tour also brought about visibility and discussions of issues that LGBT citizens face in our country today.” This year Lauper will be joined by headliners Rosie O’Donnell, The B-52s and host Carson Kressley. Special guests who will appear at select dates throughout the tour will include Wanda Sykes, Tegan and Sara, Regina Spektor, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joan Armatrading, the Indigo Girls, Nona Hendryx, Deborah Cox and The Cliks. A five-hour celebration of music, the True Colors Tour is also designed to raise awareness for gay and transgender issues, rights and equality, particularly in this election year. “Thanks to the overwhelming success of the first True Colors tour last year, we were able to send a loud and unmistakable message to all Americans that it is past time our federal hate crimes laws be updated to include sexual orientation and gender identity,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “This year, we are going to build on the grassroots power of the tour by launching a massive, nonpartisan voter outreach campaign that will educate,

SATURDAY, MARCH 29

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The Gay Agenda

THE END OF THE HORIZON See March 14

YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

So even though the registry bill passed, Utah’s Legislature doesn’t find ‘Domestic Partner’ appropriate. I need a mental health month just to get over the pettiness! I’m sure they’d be content to call it the ‘Unmarried, Burdensome People’s Registry.’ Thanks again Utah lawmakers and politicians, you always manage to take the optimism out of things.

14FRIDAY Q Not only do I love Plan-B Theatre’s productions, an old friend of mine from high school, Jason Bowcutt, is starring in THE END OF THE HORIZON. In November 1934, at the age of 20, artist and naturalist Everett Ruess disappeared in the canyon country near Escalante, Utah. No one knows why

— some suppose he was gay. So go support my pal and Plan-B.

8pm, through Mar. 30, Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $18, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Q Enjoy the music of U2 through a full-concert quality digital experience. The production offers rich computer renderings choreographed to music of the band — you will never experience the same show twice. Prior to the show, you may participate in several competitions including Guitar Hero, a Bono look-alike contest and karaoke on planet Mars. Prizes include a backstage pass to direct a U2 show, an iPod, a Clark Planetarium membership and gift certificate. 7–9:30pm, Hansen Dome Theatre, Clark Planetarium, 110 S. 400 West. For more info, visit clarkplanetarium.org.

Q Siddharth Parasnis’ paintings are known for his representational

architectural work painted in a very non-representational manner. In this series, I WAS THERE ONCE, his feelings about places where he has traveled are portrayed on canvases that create a sense of ambiance and his emotional attachment to the old, rustic and rich architecture, cityscapes, and views

the royal court of the golden spike empire PROUDLY PRESENTS

an evening of

joy and laughter

saturday march i5th trapp door* 8 pm cocktails / 9 pm showtime $6.00 donation to benefit the rcgse cancer fund *A private club for members

captured by his unique vision. The exhibit runs through Apr. 7.

6–9pm, Opening Reception tonight, Phoenix Gallery, 508 Main Street, Park City. Free, 435-649-1006 or phoenixgalleryparkcity.com.

15SATURDAY Q He’s sexy, gay and talented. He’s the incomparable RUFUS WAINWRIGHT. He blends showmanship with lyrical songwriting to create operatic pop — or “popera” — dripping with lovelorn lyrics and ornate arrangements worthy of the Broadway stage. 7:30pm, Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City. Tickets $18–65, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.

Q She’s sexy, lesbian and talented. She’s also on the verge of stardom ... she is SARAH BETTENS. The anticipated new album Shine will be released in May, but Bettens will be promoting it in Salt Lake tonight. Check out this poetic alt-pop singer/songwriter. Stealing Love Jones and Debi Graham open. 8:30pm, MoDiggity’s, a private club for members, 3424 S. State Street. Tickets $20/ adv–$25/day of, 832-9000 or myspace.com/ modiggitys.

Q I haven’t been to one of sWerve’s functions before, but I’ve heard these ladies know how to throw ’em. These sprite women have kissed the Blarney Stone so many times they could flatter the skirt right off Gayle Ruzicka. So I can only imagine what kind of trouble they will get into at their preST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY. There will be dancing, drinking and a wee bit ‘o snacking. 7pm, Dakota Building, 380 W. 200 South. Suggested $15 donation at the door, swerveutah.com.

16SUNDAY Q Joe Redburn and the clan at The Trapp offer a pre-ST. PATRICK’S DAY BUFFET. And of course there’s pool, darts, sporting events on the big screen and a green-drink special called It’s a Joe Greenburn Day (Apple Schnapps, Midori and a secret

spice that only Joe can concoct). Aaaagh! J/K.

18TUESDAY

17MONDAY

Q In colaboration with Plan-B Theatre’s The End of the Horizon, the Salt Lake Film Society will screen Diane Orr’s Lost Forever: Everett Ruess. This new documentary investigates Ruess’s mysterious life and disappearance in Utah’s redrock canyons.

4pm, The Trapp, a private club for members, 102 S. 600 West. Free to members, 531-8727.

Q In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, I’d like to borrow a quote from an Irish man, such as myself. “I am a drinker with a writing problem.” – Brendan Behan. Fitting, don’t you think? Anyhoo, celebrate this day of green with friends over corned beef and cabbage at Club Try-Angles. Gene will be wearing a kilt just as nature intended. Aaaagh! 2pm door opens, Club Try-Angles, a private club for members, 251 W. 900 South. Free to members, 364-3203.

7pm, Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South. Free, 321-0310.

21FRIDAY Q Visage Salon Studios presents the Visual Art Institue’s 30th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION EXHIBIT, featuring fine art created by students, 5 to 18 years old. The institute is a non-profit agency providing after-school visual art mentoring programs to children. Now this really is for the children!

6–9pm Reception tonight, exhibit runs thru Apr. 16, normal salon hours, Visage Salon Studios, 2034 S. 900 East. Free, 637-9067.

22SATURDAY Q Well, I have to say congrats to the Trapp Door, they are celebrating their fourth anniversary this month. Yippee! ... and I must admit that Latin night is sizzlin’, what with all that mind-spinning Latino love aura floating around. Tonight, live from L.A., the sensational drag superstar Jackie Beat’s beaver. Oh god, the visual is searing! 9pm, Trapp Door, a private club for members, 615 W. 100 South. Tickets $10 at the door, 533-0173.

27THURSDAY Rufus Wainwright See March 15

Q Check it: Paper Moon will be open this Monday for their Wee’s St. Patrick’s Day Party. I’m not certain who Wee is, but I know what a wee-wee does. Tehehe! Lord, I’m soooo gay and full of maturity. Anyhoo, green beer will be served and the Salt Lake City Bagpipers perform.

3pm door opens, Paper Moon, a private club for members, 3737 S. State Street. Free to members, 713-0678.

Mar. 24 Precinct Caucuses (mass meetings)

Mar. 28-30 Utah Bear and Cub Contest, utahbears.com

April 26 Queer Prom “The Origin of Love” utahpridecenter.org

7pm, In The Venue, 219 S. 600 West. Tickets $10.50, 467-8499 or smithstix.com.

UPCOMING EVENTS Mar. 29 — Margaret Cho, Las Vegas Jul. 19 — The Police, USANA Amphitheatre Nov. 21 — Celine Dion, ES Arena

JUNE 21 Salt Lake Men’s Choir “Hooray For Hollywood” 25th Anniv. Concert saltlakemenschoir.org

May 26-28 RCGSE Coronation, rcgse. july 12 org PWACU’s Charity Fashion Show & Silent Auction, JUNE 6–8 pwacu.org Utah Pride Festival

APRIL 2-6 Dinah Shore Week, Palm utahpride.org Springs, dinahshoreJUNE 14 weekend.com HRC Utah Dinner April 12 hrcutah.org Stonewall Caucus, Salt Lake County Democratic Conv. utahstonewalldemocrats.org

Aug. 1–3 The Village Summit utahaids.org AUG. 7–10 PWACU River Trip pwacu.org

AUG 24 Center Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org SEP 26–27 Southern Utah Pride, Springdale. southernutahpride.org OCT 10–12 SLC GayBowl VIII mwffl.org OCT 11 Coming Out Day Breakfast utahpridecenter.org

arts@qsaltlake.com.

The Trapp Door is coming up on its fourth anniversary and has brought in Jackie Beat, known for thrashing the popular songs into submission, to help celebrate. She’s no drag queen — she’s a drag superstar! QSALTLAKE: So what is life like as a drag superstar? Celebrity parties every night, shopping Rodeo Drive every day, power meetings with agents? JACKIE BEAT: I never know whether to answer a question like this truthfully, or “in character.” Life as a performer can be very glamorous and fun, but mostly it’s a lot of hard work. Unless I’m getting paid, I don’t go out to nightclubs. I don’t drink, smoke or indulge in controlled substances — unless you count pizza. I know that Dolly Parton always puts on a wig and makeup — even when she’s just going to the supermarket — “because the fans deserve it.” Frankly mine don’t, so please leave the big middle-age man with no eyebrows in the freezer section alone. It’s his day off! Q: So you’ve done television, film, live performances, stand-up, writing. What’s your favorite thing to do? JB: I love, love, love writing especially since I don’t have to put on makeup to do it. And it’s always great fun to be in a movie especially if Robert Deniro’s in it! You get paid well and it gets seen by millions of people all over the world. But my favorite thing is doing a live show for a roomful of people. There’s nothing better than humiliating ... er uh, I mean TALKING to people in the audience. Nothing beats hearing that laughter and applause. You don’t get that on a TV or movie set. Q: What was the moment that you knew you made it as a superstar? JB: When I was flying to a show in a private plane with Roseanne. We were eating chocolate-covered strawberries and laughing it up. Suddenly I thought, “If this plane goes down, the headlines will read ROSEANNE BARR AND OTHERS DIE IN CRASH. I don’t want to be OTHERS. I’m a star, dammit! Q: You have a million looks. Did you come up with all of them? How do you go about creating different characters? JB: Sometimes I think it works against me because queens like Lady Bunny and

RuPaul have a signature look that they don’t really stray from. But I get bored! I love doing different eras and different hair colors. I also love doing scary looks, ugly looks and my new favorite is the Old Lady look. I call it Tran-Mama and I even have a song about it to Van Halen’s “Panama.” Q: You’re known for parody songs, like “Baby’s Got Front” and “Beaver” (instead of “Fever”), and “I’m Not a Woman.” How do you get inspiration to create such great songs? JB: I cannot hear a song anywhere — in the car, in a store — without hearing sick and twisted lyrics. It’s the 12-year-old boy in me. Hey, isn’t that the new Michael Jackson album? Anyway, so many people tell me that I have ruined songs for them. They say they were in an elevator and “Smooth Operator” by Sade was playing and they couldn’t help but hear me singing “Poo On Me Later.” I love it! Q: You released a Christmas Album this year. How did that go? JB: It went like everything I do — GREAT! Ruining pop songs is one thing, but destroying holiday songs is just the best. I sure hope Jesus has a sense of humor. Q: I hear there’s an ABBA medley coming out. Tell us about that and what else is coming up. JB: My new CD, “Filthy Whore,” features 15 songs including the title track about Britney. Three of those songs are 10-minute medleys like the Abba Medley and these two classic TV theme song medleys I did. It’s genius. Please buy it! Q: Since you are a fashion cop, what is the dress code for a Jackie Beat show? JB: If you’re a good-looking in-shape young man, please don’t wear a shirt. If you’re a drunk, chubby straight girl who is obsessed with me, please wear a muzzle and bring a purse full of money. Q: Anything else you’re just dying to tell Salt Lake? JB: Oh yes, and I’ll say it onstage! Q Jackie Beat will perform at the Trapp Door, a private club for members, on March 22. Her Web site can be found at jackiebeatrules.com

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SAVETHEDATE

Q For being only 20 years old, the very talented singer/songwriter Kate Voegele delivers songs of depth and insight with a seductive voice amid dynamic rock grooves and infectious pop hooks. I just can’t fathom why she’s wasting her time on the schmaltzy soap opera-ish One Tree Hill. Get it together girl, you’re so much better than that.

Jackie Beats Salt Lake

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Q Scene

Photographer Dav.d Daniels was ever-present in February, following WinterPride, the QUAC Ski-n-Swim and UAF’s Oscar Night.

Dav.d Daniels is available for special occasions, commitment ceremonies, weddings or personal shoots. More information can be found at his Web site, daviddanielsphotography.com

Kim Russo was also out-and-about at the 14th Anniversary of Paper Moon and at the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire’s “Twitterpated” fundraiser

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MAR 13 4a Youth Case Managment 5p Transgender Youth Group 7p Empowerment Workshop - Coping Strategies 7p Bisexual Community Forum MAR 14 7p Alliance of Gay and Straights for Civil Justice 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group MAR 15 10a Western Transsexual Support Network 12p Pride Softball Captains Meeting 2p Queers in Action 3p PWACU Seminar on HIV and Depression 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 7p sWerve St. Patrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day Party 7:30p Crystal Meth Anonymous MAR 16 10a Friends of Thelma & Louise Coffee Group 1p Rainbow Classic Car Club 3p Twelve Step: GLBT AA 7p LDS Reconciliation MAR 17 6:30p DiverseCity Writing Group 8p Twelve Step: Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s AA MAR 18 7p Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Support Group 7:30p Royal Court Meeting 8p Twelve Step: Live & Let Live MAR 19 12p Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sack Lunch 6p Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Red Rock Music Festival Meeting 7p Sexual Violence Support Group 7:30p Twelve Step: Sober Today MAR 20 4a Youth Case Managment 8a GLBTQ Affirmative Psychotherapy Guild of Utah 4p Free HIV Testing 5p Parents of Transgender Youth Group 5p Transgender Youth Group 6:30p Transgender Adult Support Group 7p Empowerment Workshop - Coping Strategies MAR 21 6p St Patricks Day Party! 6:30p One Voice Ogden 7p Gay Bingo 7p Alliance of Gay and Straights for Civil Justice 8p Twelve Step: Stonewall Group MAR 22 2p Queers in Action 6p Twelve Step: Free to be Me 6:30p One Voice Saturday Night Out

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Q Health

What Happened Last Summer? BY LYNN BELTRAN

LYNN@QSALTLAKE.COM

If you would like to read more about cryptosporidiosis, go to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention Web site at: www. cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/cryptosporidiosis/

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT MERVYN’S

We hovered near each other for several minutes in intense silence. You wore a cap; I hadn’t shaved. You made me feel things I had forgotten, things that frightened me. Then I ran off like a startled bunny. I’ve been thinking of you all week. I went back hoping the universe would let me find you again, but you weren’t there. If we meet again, I will be braver. I would like to say hello, and hear your voice in return.

ALL “FAMILY” WELCOME

3737 South State Street

en’s m o W iere embers m e r e’s P ears for M k Y a b u L 4 l Saltrivate Cr Over 1 fo P

WEEKLY LINEUP SASSY SUNDAYS L-Word at 7pm Free Pool all day $1 Drafts, $2 Bloody Marys

MONDAYS

Closed for Employee Sanity

TUNES-DAYS

Karaoke at 8pm — Biggest Selection in Town! $1 Drafts

WILD WEDNESDAYS All Request All Night with DJ Rach Free Pool All Day $1 Drafts

THIRSTY THURSDAYS

Country 8–10pm Sassy Kitty’s Karaoke 10pm Come and Prrrr with the best $1 Drafts

FREAKIN’ FRIDAYS Poles ... Cages ... Dancing All Night with DJ Rach

SEXY SATURDAYS

Best Damn Party in Town CRUISE WITH THE MOON! First Annual Paper Moon Cruise June 9–13 www.papermoonvacations.com CLICK ON “GROUPS”

Salt Lake City www.thepapermoon.info myspace.com/thepapermoon 801-713-0678 Open: Tuesday–Friday 3pm–1am Saturday 6pm–1am Sunday 3pm–1am Closed Mondays

Friday, March 14

Pink Party & Bra Auction Annual party to celebrate Toni’s Birthday. Decorate a bra and bid on the best! Benefits Breast Cancer Research. Saturday, March 15

Bra Auction Final day to bid on those bras! OPEN Monday, March 17 for

Wee’s St. Patrick’s Day Party

Green Beer & the Salt Lake City Bagpipers Open at 3pm Friday, March 21

RCGSE Fundraiser Hosted by Mia Channel Friday, March 28

Washington or Bust! Fundraiser hosted by Parker Here

A private club for members

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If you were tracking the health news in Salt Lake County last summer, you likely noticed that there was much hullabaloo regarding a parasitic disease that was causing an increase in the number of people experiencing gastrointestinal illness after swimming in public pools. The cause of the illness was identified as cryptosporidiosis and ending up infecting almost 2,000 people last year where the average number of cases per year previously hovered around 14. Cryptosporidiosis is a parasitic disease that can cause symptoms such as diarrhea, loose or watery stool and vomiting. If you know anything about gastrointestinal diseases, then you likely know that this can lead to varying degrees of dehydration, which can lead to more severe problems. If it is someone who is very young, very old or those with a compromised immune system such as those with AIDS or cancer, this can lead to hospitalization and could become fatal. Most of the cases diagnosed last summer did not become serious, although there were some hospitalizations. Cryptosporidium parasites are usually found in the intestines of animals and humans, but most commonly animals. Humans often pick it up after swimming in recreational waters such as pools, lakes and ponds that are infected with the parasite and they accidentally swallow some of the water. Once infected, they can then transmit to groups of others through this process. Some people who have the parasite never develop symptoms but are still shedding it in their stool. The parasite can also be present on any surface that has had contact with an infected animal or human’s feces but it is most often referred to as a waterborne disease. Unfortunately, the parasite is very insidious and can survive even in adverse environments. Over the past several years, Cryptosporidiosis has become one of the most common causes of waterborne disease and outbreaks in humans in the United States. Drinking water is treated to prevent transmission of the cryptosporidium parasite, however it is often known to be resistant to certain levels of chlorination and often requires more intense treatment when public water supplies such as pools and recreational fountains are found to be infected. No one knows with certainty, but most of the cases identified last summer were either directly or indirectly related to public swimming pools. We have not been the first county to experience this type of outbreak in public pools and likely will not be the last. Nonetheless, health officials are already looking at safeguards for the upcoming pool season to avoid another outbreak situation in Salt Lake County and in Utah. Such recommendations may include requiring toddlers and babies to wear waterproof diapers or banning any child who is wearing a diaper from

using public pools. No decisions have been made yet, but decisions will likely include compromise to ensure access to public pools by all. The Salt Lake Valley Health Department (SLVHD) recommends that anyone who is experiencing gastrointestinal illness such as diarrhea refrain from swimming in recreational waters during the illness and for approximately two weeks after symptoms have subsided. The SLVHD also encourages people to shower before entering a public pool and to always notify pool personnel immediately if someone accidentally defecates in the pool. Q

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MONDAY, MARCH 17

CORNED BEEF & CABBAGE

IT’S THE BESTEST! SATURDAY, MARCH 21

M.S. BIKE-A-THON KICKOFF AND 80s NIGHT PARTY Come join us for the bike-a-thon!

CLUB ENIES E W D E K A O -S R E NDAYS BE O M U S T F A R DRAFTS U 1D $ 1 , $ S , IE D N J E D E R W /O D E D R-SOAK TOY AN OPEN DAILY AT 2PM SUNDAYS BEE DRAFTS U FRIDAYS DJ BOY 251 W 900 S 801-364-3203 TUESDAYS $1 ANCE DANCE DANCE 1/2 BLOCK FROM 9th S TRAX STATION D S Y A D R U WWW.CLUBTRY-ANGLES.COM A PRIVATE CLUB FOR MEMBERS SAT U

Q Puzzle

St. Patrick’s Gay

Down 1 Finland’s gay rights org. 2 Like smoking areas at a gay club 3 Andrew Van de Camp, for one 4 Metro area 5 Umpire Dave 6 Painter Francis 7 Like a moonless night 8 Cheryl of Charlie’s Angels 9 Giant ball-handler Manning 10 Type of knowledge 11 Comes out 12 Having nice lines 13 “Bust a Nut” band 18 Hard to get close to 19 Media exec Roger 23 Old coin of Versace’s homeland

24 Gardner of Show Boat 25 Distant opening? 26 Void’s partner 27 Peppermint sweet you can lick 28 Type of hole 29 Meat that goes in your boxers 31 Where to watch a NY Liberty game 32 Disengage, as a bra hook 33 Direction from The Naked Chef 34 Leonardo’s thing 37 They’re neither Log Cabin Rep. nor Stonewall Dem. 39 New ___ (birthplace of Urvashi Vaid) 40 The Living ___ 41 Bone in the leg 42 Like gays in the military? 43 Able to get it up 45 Muscleman Charles 46 What a chicken hawk may raid 47 Stars that shoot off 48 Pictures that penetrate your clothes 50 Weathercock 51 Laying out 52 Angelina Jolie’s ____ Interrupted 53 Mine, to Foucault 54 Gets hard 56 Head, slangily 57 Threesome for Michelangelo

Cryptogram A Cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This week’s hint: Z = O Theme: Notable quote by Irish playwright Sean O’Casey.

Loo qsg nzpou’t l tqlwg lhu bztq za yt lpg ugtjgplqgoc yhpgsglptgu. ___ ___ _____’_ _ _____ ___ ____ __ __ ___ ___________ ___________.

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Works by gay Irish authors Across 1 Did a muscle Mary’s exercise 6 Tendency to get pissed 10 It’s for Rimbaud 14 Gay former NFL player Tuaolo 15 Like the end of a bacchanal? 16 Trucker’s rod 17 Roger Casement writings 20 The Fountainhead author Rand 21 Andrew ___ Webber 22 Company that can help you double-click your mouse 23 Bird in a simile about being nuts 24 State of polar bears 25 Brendan Fraser’s ___ Man 28 Judge Judy bangs it 30 Brian Finnegan anthology 32 Where to find Trojans 35 Bone below the elbow 36 Pacifier 37 Sondheim’s ___ the Woods 38 Island in gay Paree 39 Oscar Wilde essay 43 Where to find Lincoln’s head 44 Bewitched mother

45 Harvey, in Torch Song Trilogy 48 Opening day, briefly 49 Zipper piece 50 Part of HIV 52 Regret not spitting 55 Colm Toibin essay collection 58 Straight ___ arrow 59 Etheridge’s “I’m the ___ One” 60 Swashbuckling Flynn 61 “Leave that alone!” to Anne Stockwell 62 Queens rule over them 63 Where the salami isn’t hidden

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Home Warranties: Potential Beneﬁt for Both Buyer and Seller The market for homes across the United States has never been more challenging for homeowners trying to sell, nor more mind-boggling for buyers shopping among the historically overwhelming inventory of discounted listings. At the same time, mortgage lenders are more stringent than ever due to painful losses due to delinquencies and foreclosures, so it is important to write purchase offers on houses that can hold up to mortgage company and appraiser scrutiny. But beyond the initial sale of a home, legitimate buyer concerns arise regarding the condition of the home — and whether it will continue to provide a problem-free experience after the keys change hands. One resource to add to your credibility toolbox is a home warranty. While these insurance policies are often overlooked or underrated, they can easily pay for themselves by boosting confidence, ensuring quality and calming the emotions of nervous and cost-conscious buyers. The way a home warranty works is that it covers basic components of a home such as appliances and furnaces for a period of time, allowing the homeowner to market property with an added security blanket. Buyers get the assurance that things will work as they are supposed to, which can often make or break a fragile sales transaction. Many also cover your home the entire time you have it listed, so that last minute breakdowns don’t threaten to kill an otherwise flawless deal. When moving into a new home most consumers are cash poor, thanks to an inordinate amount of expenses such as new furniture, interior decorating and moving van costs. That fact is only intensified and accelerated by today’s high gas prices and fears of an economic recession, so sellers

who offer a home warranty generally get a solid return on their investment by giving buyers a reliable and predictable outlook. That’s because if items that are covered need to be repaired or replaced during the warranty period it won’t add a financial burden. The policies can be bought by the buyer or the seller, and sometimes are thrown in by real estate agents as an added bonus or housewarming present. Especially for sellers trying to market an older home in today’s highly competitive market, a home warranty can be an attractive yet affordable perk. Warranties are fairly inexpensive, typically ranging in price from $250 to $500, depending upon what is covered. It is also possible to find discounted policies when insurers offer specials, seasonal sales or enhanced coverage for the “regular” price. Policy premiums are paid up front, and the period of coverage can run from a few months to more than a year, depending upon the specific terms and whether the holder decides to renew the policy or not. Homeowners making a claim may sometimes have to pay a service call fee, but those are usually nominal. Details of the coverage are critical, and differ from policy to policy, so it is important to read the fine print and understand any and all restrictions. Whether or not the policy is transferable depends on the company, and this can be an important feature if you plan to sell and don’t want to remain responsible for handling potential claims. Insurance varies from state to state, so if you had a warranty in your former home but moved out of state, you will want to check your new policy to make sure it meets your needs. If you luck out it may include coverage you didn’t have at your former address. For expert help with all your real estate needs contact www.GayRealEstate.com and www. GayMortgageLoans.com.

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By Dylan Vox

Big Brother 9: Till Death Do Us Part has only been on air a few weeks, but already the hope for the first ever gay â&#x20AC;&#x153;showmanceâ&#x20AC;? seems to have been dashed. Sexy Neil Garcia was forced to leave the show â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and his partner Joshuah Welch â&#x20AC;&#x201D; because of still unnamed personal reasons outside of the house. However, there may still be a possibility of a gay hook up on the show, as it was recently revealed housemate James Zinkand is an ex stripper who has appeared in several gay adult videos. Zinkand entered the house as a straight man looking for love in the special matchmakers addition of Big Brother, but earlier this week Dirtyboyvideo.com revealed Zinklandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gay porn past when it began promoting videos of him on its home page. The videos are being promoted with the tagline: â&#x20AC;&#x153;If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve

American Idol David Hernandezâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Stripper Past By Ross von Metzke

Posing topless on the Internet may have gotten first season favorite Frenchie booted from American Idol, but according to a statement from the executive producer, David Hernandez stripping down to his birthday suit and offering up lap dances will have no effect on his standing in the singing competition. The popular singer, who scored rave marks from judges last week for his performance of The Temptationsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Papa Was a Rolling Stoneâ&#x20AC;?, worked as a stripper at the Phoenix based Dickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cabaret, according to the Associated Press. But American Idol Executive Producer Ken Warwick tells TV Guide gtheyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had many erotic dancers on their show, PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

Continued from p. 33

MASSAGE

Healing Hands tuned into CBSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Big Brother 9 this season then youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re already familiar with â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crazy James.â&#x20AC;? This sexy, tattooed mega-hottie was smoking up our screens long before his TV debut! He biked across the nation straight to our doors and straight into the asses and mouths of a few of the lucky boys in our porn stable!â&#x20AC;? Sporting a mohawk in the videos, James appears with several other male partners, an interesting contrast to his profile on the CBS saying he is a single straight man who was recently engaged to an older woman. CBS and Endemol Productions, and Hernandezâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past is his business. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had strippers on the show beforeâ&#x20AC;ŚWeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never judgmental about people who do things like that,â&#x20AC;? Warwick said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If it were some sort of heavy porn, then maybe weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d have to take action. But certainly not on this.â&#x20AC;? The 24-year-old Hernandez performed in the nude and gave lap dances to the male clientele, according to club manager Gordy Bryan, who spilled his story to the AP on Monday. Bryan said Hernandez had worked at the club for three years, until September 30, 2007. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nearly two months after his July audition for American Idol. His reason for leaving? He didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t renew his licensing with the state, Bryan said. Back in the first season of the show, Frenchie, who has since gone on to create a name for

who do extensive background checks on participants, have so far made no statements about the contestantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interesting past. As for Garcia, there has still been no official reason given why he left the game. Garcia thanked viewers for their support on his website, but has revealed no further details about his sudden departure. Gay or not, James Zinkand has already caused quite a stir in the house, and this most recent bit of information will no doubt foster further intrigue about Big Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s special winter edition.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

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