QSaltLake Magazine - April 10, 2008 by QSaltLake Magazine

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Hook up with us this summer.

May 17 355-ARTS

by Martin Moran

planbtheatre.org

May 30 June 15

A l l p e r fo rm a n c e s at t h e R o s e Wag n e r

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Staff Box editor-in-chief

In This Issue

michael aaron assistant editor

joselle vanderhooft arts editor

ISSUE 100 • APRIL 10, 2008 News

World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quips & Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Local. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Community Briefs. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Page 6 Page 6 Page 8 Page 8

Views

Letters. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 14 Q on the Street. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 14 Queer Gnosis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 15 Gay Geeks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Snaps & Slaps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 16 Ruth. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Page 17 Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 18 Fabulous People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 20 Jacin Tales. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 21 The Final Word. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 38

A&E

The Gay Agenda. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Save the Date. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Review . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Crossword Puzzle . . . . . . . . . . . . . Comics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cryptogram . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sudoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anagram. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Real Estate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Roommates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Service Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Massage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

tony hobday copy editor

jennifer morgan

Page 26 Page 26 Page 27 Page 33 Page 33 Page 33 Page 35 Page 35 Page 34 Page 35 Page 35 Page 37 Page 40

Feature

2008 FABBYs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 22

contributors

lynn beltran joseph dewey ruth hackford-peer david samsel ross von metzke duane wells troy williams

anthony cuesta troy espera ruby ridge ryan shattuck dylan vox ben williams rex wockner

photographers

laurie kaufman william munk kim russo sales manager

brad di iorio

office manager

tony hobday distribution

manuel hernandez gary horenkamp courtney moser publisher

salt lick publishing, llc 1055 e 2100 s, ste 205 salt lake city, utah 84106

From the Editor

tel: 801-649-6663 toll-free: 1-800-806-7357 fax: 1-866-840-5232

100th Anniversary

for general information:

info@qsaltlake.com

by Michael Aaron

for editorial queries:

Alright, it’s not really our 100th anniversary. But at times it feels like we’ve been doing this for a hundred years. At least we’re fortunate enough to enjoy what we’re doing. Most of the time. Of course as we put out this 100th issue, it gets me thinking about where this all started and how we got to where we are today. In a way, this is our third “start.” Our first issue in April of 2004 was an obvious start — even though it happened four months after we went full time getting a team together, securing funding, putting together office space and a filling out a multitude of government forms. I remember April 29, 2004 very well. The first edition came off the press I was sitting in the KUTV studios being interviewed about our grand new adventure. Then we hopped over to the KCPW studios a few blocks away and helped with their telethon and spreading the word of a new gay newspaper out over the airwaves. That night we had a huge party at Hotel Monaco that drew the mayor, much of the KUTV news staff and many dignitaries that slip my mind because, well, I was celebrating a job well done with a multitude of drinks. Our second “start” was when it became obvious that my then-business partner was not a good match for our endeavor. After trying several tactics, including a failed attempt to buy the paper and an attempt to forcibly remove said partner and gathering everything that I had personally purchased into an eight by 12 office, I determined it was best to walk and hope that our team would walk with me to a new endeavor. They did. This “start” is not nearly as dramatic as the first two, but more a step towards our ever-present goal of what we want to be when we grow up. When we first started up, we made a conscious decision to position ourselves as a newspaper rather than

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a magazine, distancing ourselves from the other gay news offering in town, the Pillar. My design was very newspapery and straightforward. Now, with the Pillar no longer publishing, we can move to our next phase — that of being a magazine. I get to play with more design elements as we continue to steer this ship towards our ultimate goal. So, yes, you’ll find some design changes in this issue and will likely find more in the next few issues as we morph into a different mind-set. Another difference you will see is that we are offering more “quick-reads,” such as the “Snaps & Slaps” and “Q on the Streets” sections that we are reviving. You will likely see more shorter stories and but one or two in-depth news stories in each issue, plus a feature. Our goal is to continually bring new, broader information to you while still chronicling the day-to-day events, albeit in more bite-sized stories. You’ll also see a change in how we are handling advertisers. We want to give priority position to advertisers, who are making this magazine possible. In doing so, we hope their ads draw your eye, and your support, at a heightened level. And another new change — this is the first issue since our new sales manager joined us. You may notice a few new advertisers have climbed aboard. Brad comes to us from Frontiers Magazine in Los Angeles, drawn by his yearning to snowboard on a regular basis and by the prospect of taking us to the next level. I want to give a special thank you to three people who have stuck with me through all of this: JoSelle Vanderhooft and Ruby Ridge joined me on day one, issue one and are still here today. Tony Hobday joined not too long after that and has been my right hand and my rock and one of the most patient people I have ever had the pleasure to work with. Please rant or rave (or both) about the changes we are making. After all, we’re doing this for you. Q

editor@qsaltlake.com to subscribe:

basic subscription rate is $26.95 per year/26 issues, $14.95 per six months/13 issues. international rate is us$99 per year. call 801-649-6663 or 1-800-806-5232 postmaster: please send change of addresses to po box 511247, salt lake city ut 84151

QSaltLake is a trademark of salt lick publishing, llc. copyright © 2008 All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Copies of QSaltLake are distributed free of charge in 200 locations across Utah and in Idaho and Nevada. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy, throw away current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. Printed in the U.S.A. QSALTLAKE.COM MYSPACE.COM/QSALTLAKE

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Q World

Quips & Quotes

by Rex Wockner

❝Homosexualists are smart,

Konica Minolta Takes Benefits From Gay Couple The Konica Minolta corporation has taken away 9/11 survivor Robert Ryan’s health insurance after he and his partner, who works for the company, relocated from New Jersey, which has a civil-union law, to Idaho, which does not. Ryan has suffered from depression, asthma and other problems related to the 9/11 attacks. He escaped from the south tower of the World Trade Center after terrorists slammed a jet into the north tower, and was trampled by a crowd in the process. A second plane then hit Ryan’s office tower, four floors above where he had been working. He later went on disability and, before meeting his partner, Ralph Martinelli, spent his savings to stay afloat. “I’m still working at the same company, doing the same job,” said Martinelli. “Why shouldn’t I be able to cover my partner in Idaho like I did in New Jersey? This would never happen to a married couple.” According to the American Civil Liberties Union, which has taken on the couple’s case, Konica Minolta “currently interprets its policy as requiring employees to re-register as domestic partners with the state every time they move, even though many states have no way for same-sex partners to do so.” Many other companies that provide such benefits accept a marriage, civil-union or domestic-partnership certificate from anywhere, or just an affidavit of the relationship. “Konica Minolta wants all the good will that comes with providing domestic-partner insurance, but they clearly don’t want to have to provide the benefits. Otherwise they would never be interpreting [their] policy in such a restrictive way,” said Jack Van Valkenburgh, executive director of the ACLU of Idaho. Ed Barocas, legal director of the ACLU of New Jersey, added: “Underlying all of this is the confusion and mistrust engendered by terms like ‘civil union’ and ‘domestic partnership’ as opposed to ‘marriage.’ Same-sex couples are asked to prove that their relationships aren’t imaginary every time they move, and employers take advantage of the lack of uniformity to treat people unfairly.” Konica Minolta has not commented on the matter.

Alabama Girls Win Prom Battle Two female high-school students in Scottsboro, Ala., were allowed to go to their prom together March 29 after a judge said the Board of Education had acted illegally in banning them. According to local media, Jackson County Circuit Judge John Graham cited a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that U.S. states and their agencies cannot target homosexuals for special discriminatory treatment, and another federal court ruling that prohibits publicly funded schools from barring gay couples from school functions. Chelsea Overstreet, 17, and Lauren Martin, 16, did not speak to reporters after the decision. Scottsboro, pop. 14,951, is in northeastern Alabama, 40 miles east of Huntsville.

clever and patient. They know that all they need to do is indoctrinate our children and wait for you and me to die. In one generation, they have won.❞

—Stephen Graham, founder of conservative group Standard of Liberty, explaining how gays infiltrate public schools at an American Fork Library meeting March 31.

❝No matter what we call it, the mutual commitment registry will create a way for Salt Lake City to recognize relationships of mutual support, caring and commitment.❞

400 Protest Phelps, Westboro in Topeka, Kansas More than 400 people staged a protest in Topeka, Kan., March 30 against the “God Hates Fags” Fred Phelps group, best-known in recent years for picketing military funerals with the claim that God is punishing America for its acceptance of homosexuality. The “Million Fag March” took place in the city’s Gage Park, the Topeka Capital-Journal

reported. “The theory has been to ignore them, and they’ll go away,” co-organizer Chris Love told the paper. “It’s been 20 years, and they’re still here. Now we are too. ... It’s just time to show people that not everyone in Kansas is like the Phelpses.”

Missoula Library Comes Out

Over 1,000 Meet in Oklahoma City in Support of Rep. Sally Rally

While the public library board in Nampa, Idaho, recently voted to remove The Joy of Gay Sex from the shelves, the Missoula Public Library in Montana is gearing up for “Out at the Library,” The Missoulian reported March 30. The gay-history exhibit originated at the San Francisco Public Library in 2006 and has visited only a dozen other libraries across the United States. Co-curator Molly Kliss told the newspaper she will invite gay-themed authors with ties to Montana or the West to make presentations during the show, which runs from April 17 to May 31. “It’s an opportunity to focus on a part of our history that is sometimes ignored,” Kliss said. Patricia Nell Warren, author of the groundbreaking gay novel The Front Runner, will speak at the exhibit grand opening. She grew up in Deer Lodge, Mont.

Arizona Anti-gay Amendment killed An effort to amend Arizona’s Constitution to ban same-sex marriage died in the Arizona House of Representatives April 3 when opponents amended it to also create domestic partnership for same-sex couples. Led by state Rep. Kyrsten Sinema, legislators voted 2827 to alter the bill. Four Republicans joined Democrats in wielding the tactic, which made the bill unpalatable to its author and supporters. Ariz. Rep. Sinema “We are now able to focus on the issues that unite the people of Arizona,” said Equality Arizona Executive Director Barbara McCullough-Jones. “Equality Arizona celebrates today’s decision with the thousands of people who called on the Legislature to stop this divisive measure.”

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More than 1,000 people rallied at the state Capitol in Oklahoma City April 2 in support of beleaguered state Rep. Sally Kern. Kern has been under fire since March 7 when the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund posted an audio clip on YouTube of a speech in which Kern called gays more dangerous to America than terrorists. At the rally Kern said she cannot apologize for the comments because “when God calls something a sin, Okla. Rep. Sally Kern then it’s a sin.” In the original speech, which Kern apparently was not aware was being recorded, she said: “The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation, OK? It’s just a fact. “Studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades. “I honestly think it’s the biggest threat — that our nation has — even more so than terrorism or Islam, which I think is a big threat, OK? “Because what’s happening now, they’re going after — in schools — 2-year olds! ... They’re going after our young children, as young as 2 years of age, to try to teach them that the homosexual lifestyle is an acceptable lifestyle. “This stuff is deadly and it’s spreading and it will destroy our young people, it will destroy this nation.”

—Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker, explaining the city’s domestic partnership registry’s name change to “mutual commitment registry.” A legislative bill this session mandated the switch.

❝We believe that it is always important to have the opportunity to be given better understanding of your points of view so that the church can appropriately understand your organization and how best to be helpful.❞

—Fred M. Riley, commissioner of Family Services for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in a letter to gay LDS group Affirmation. Riley will meet with Affirmation in August to discuss the church’s past treatment of gays – which included electroshock therapy.

❝My heart is weary. I’m so sad.

I grieve for the dead and those they leave behind, and I fear for future generations.❞

— University of Utah student Jeremy Yamashiro to assembled students at the school’s observance of the Day of Silence on April 4. The U observed the event, aimed at drawing attention to anti-gay and transgender discrimination and violence, early because classes will not be in session on April 25, when the day will be held this year.

❝Awesome! I’m a pornographer! Well, in Utah, anyway.❞

— Dykes to Watch Out For creator Alison Bechdel, upon learning that her autobiographical graphic novel Fun Home was challenged by a U of U anti-pornography group for its depictions of what the group terms “graphic” oral sex between women.

❝This is our 100th issue?

I thought it was our 100th anniversary.❞

— QSaltLake Editor Michael Aaron

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Oregon TransMan is Pregnant A Bend, Ore., man is pregnant, he told The Advocate on March 26. Thomas Beatie told the magazine he’d had a sex-change operation, become a man and married his wife but kept his female reproductive organs. “Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights,” Beatie said. “I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn’t have to take any ... drugs to aid my pregnancy.” Beatie’s wife, Nancy, can’t have chil-

dren because she had to have a hysterectomy several years ago. Beatie said he and his wife are having problems with people who are upset about his pregnancy, which came about via home insemination. “Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs,” he said. “Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender.” The couple’s baby girl is due July 3. The Advocate said it confirmed Beatie’s pregnancy with his obstetrician-gynecologist.

LDS Church Will Meet with Affirmation Leaders Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints leaders sent a letter to the board of directors of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons inviting them to meet with meet with Fred M. Riley, commissioner of Family Services for the church. Up until this year, Mormon church officials have refused to meet with the support group for gay current and former LDS Church members. “We’re pleased the church is opening up the possibility for dialogue,” said Dave Melson, Affirmation’s executive committee member. “Affirmation has tried five or six times over the past 31 years to meet with church leaders. This is their second response.” Affirmation has repeatedly invited church leaders to meet or attend the group’s annual conference, but the only response was a letter last year declining the conference invitation, Melson said. In February, just three days after 80year-old Thomas S. Monson was named president of the 13 million-member church, Affirmation petitioned the new leader to meet and begin an unprecedented conversation about gays in the church. “We believe that is always important to have the opportunity to be given better understanding of your points of view so that the church can appropriately understand your organization and how best to be helpful,” Riley wrote in the letter. The meeting is scheduled for August,

according to the Affirmation Web site. Affirmation is hoping to address the historical treatment of gays by the church, including recommendations for aversion therapies to “cure” homosexuality; recommendations for more effective counseling methods; ways to avoid family break-ups; and a change in the honor code at churchowned Brigham Young University that can result in expulsion for sexually active gay students. The same standard applies to straight students. “None of this requires a change in doctrine,” said Melson. “They’re good for both gays and the church.” Melson asked Riley if the meeting was sincere or an effort to placate the group. “They said that there won’t be immediate changes, but they are definitely interested in helping ... that they are sincere,” he said. “We would like to start to a dialogue, even if it isn’t immediately fruitful.” Founded in secret by gay students at BYU in 1977, Affirmation has traditionally been ignored by church leaders. The group claims to now have 2,000 members. LDS Family Services, with offices across the country, is the only church-endorsed source of counsel for gay members and their families. Gay Mormons say the agency’s track record of assistance is marked by a lack of understanding and a prescription for clinical treatments that were sometimes horrific and painful.

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Q Q World Utah

Community Briefs

by Rex Wockner

Spring: Time for Flag Football

Anti-Porn Group Challenges Lesbian Graphic Novel

Mountain West Flag Football is starting its new season Thursday, April 10. Open play runs each Thursday through June 5 and is open to men and women of all experience levels. This is an easy way to get to know the game, learn the rules and meet new people. League play begins June 12th. When: Thursdays at 6pm Where: Sugarhouse Park softball field Info: mwffl.org

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

When University of Utah doctoral candidate Jennilyn Merton put Dykes to Watch Out For creator Allison Bechdel’s autobiographical graphic novel Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic on her course syllabus, she hoped to challenge and enrich her students. “I felt like the story of a young girl and her father exploring the idea of coming out as gay from two very different generational perspectives was an important topic right now,” said Merton, a candidate in the English Department’s American Studies Program. “It’s important politically and has always been important.” While the novel — which centers on Bechdel’s coming out process and her life with her closeted gay father — was a hit with most of the students in the English 2600: Critical Introduction to English Literary Forms class, Merton said one student objected to the book’s content.

Queer Spirit Announces Gay Men’s Spring Retreat raphy,” No More Pornography member Thomas Alvord told KSL News on March 31. “It’s like they’re turning their back and pretending graphics, depictions of oral sex, are not an issue.” Merton said the depictions of sex were not pornographic, but integral parts of the book’s story. “It’s a classic coming-of-age story, and sexuality is part of that story,” she said. “It has been in [works by writers] Chopin, and Joyce and Nabokov, and any number of novels from the dawn of history. And we approached it very respectfully. I don’t think [sexuality] should be something we hide from as part of the human experience. It also helps us understand the ongoing violence

that happens around people’s sexuality. If we can’t talk about that, then I don’t think we can be responsible citizens.” English Department chair Vincent Pecora could not be reached for comment by press time. However, he had previously told KSL that he supported Merton and the book. As of now, the book has not been removed from the curriculum. Although No More Pornography is still petitioning to have the book banned, Merton said she did not anticipate a legal challenge to the material because the school already has an accommodation policy in place. No More Pornography’s site also warns parents: “Alert: Protect Kids from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Today!” Q

Events Planned to Raise Funds for Southern Utah Pride

Allison Bechdel As per the university’s religious accommodation policy, which allows students to take an alternate assignment, Merton said she offered to let the student read another book. The U developed the policy in 2004 as part of a settlement with former acting student Christina Axson-Flynn who sued the school in 2000 for being made to take the Lord’s name in vain while performing a scene for class. Although the student accepted the alternate assignment, a local anti-pornography group soon got word of the story. In midMarch, No More Pornography put out a press release calling for the school to ban Fun Home from its curriculum on grounds that the book “depicts accounts of women having oral sex with other women, graphic nudity, and the open account a young woman masturbating.” No More Pornography’s Web site is currently offline, but a Google search engine cache of the press release also revealed that the group accused the university of “creating porn addicts with state tax dollars instead of educating its [sic] students.” “The issue is exposing people to pornog-

Although Southern Utah Pride at Zion, the annual celebration of gay pride south of Salt Lake City, won’t be held until September, pride director Janine Isom said she and her committee are busy making plans and preparations. Springdale is locked in for Sept. 26–27 at the park, and the OC Tanner Center is booked,” she said. Plans for fund raising events are also well under way. According to Isom, the pride committee will hold a drag show hosted by Salt Lake City drag performer Nova Starr in May. The committee also plans to hold a fund raiser Rocky Horror Picture Show screening on Aug. 16. “We’re working with the Salt Lake Film Society for that,” Isom said. “They have a movie theatre they’ve recently acquired, and one of our volunteers got in contact with them and set up a meeting.” The Rocky Horror Picture Show fund raiser will feature audience participation (a popular thing at public showings of the film) and a “shadow cast” — live, costumed performers who act out the film as it plays. Although Isom said they’re still considering performers for the “shadow cast” they plan on selling kits that include all the “goodies” necessary to enjoy the show, such as rice to throw when main characters, the hapless Brad and Janet, get married. To encourage camaraderie among the festival’s volunteers (and to get more people interested in signing up to volunteer), Isom said there would also be a volunteer prepride camping party in June. “When I first worked with the pride festi-

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Participants at Southern Utah Pride , 2007 val two years ago, it was the closeness that of the volunteers that impressed me,” she said. “We’re holding this event for them to get together and know each other so they can feel comfortable working together.” Finally, Isom said the festival is looking into having a beer garden sponsored by Springdale’s own microbrewery, Zion Brewing. “That’ll be locked in by April 9,” she said.

Sponsorships Sponsorships are available for businesses, individuals or foundatons interested in supporting Southern Utah Pride at a greater level. Sponsorship levels begin at $100, with $550 and $1000 levels offering increasing benefits. For a sponsorship packet, contact (435) 6528077 or sponsors@southernutahpride.org Southern Utah Pride at Zion will be held in the resort town of Springdale Sept. 26-27.

The growing ceremonial/spiritual retreat for gay men will once again take place in just a few weeks. “By accessing ceremony, storytelling, movement and expression, we create a space that facilitates friendship, (inter) connection, and improved self-esteem by the unraveling of ‘old stories’ (belief systems that no longer serve us) that often sabotage our efforts in life,” explains organizer Jerry Buie. When: April 25–27 Where: Wind Walker Ranch, Spring City Info: queerspirit.org, Jerry Buie, 801 595-0666

Start ‘Sitting’ A group meditation group is starting up at the Utah Pride Center. The group will focus on Vipassana (Insight) Meditation, one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques rediscovered by Gautama Buddha 2500 years ago. Participants should bring a meditation cushion (or other dense pillow); wear loose fitting clothes; and consider offering a small donation toward space rental. All are welcome, regardless of experience. When: May 14, June 11, July 9 Where: Utah Pride Center Multipurpose Room Info: groups.google.com/group/ pride-meditation

Charity Fashion Show A fashion charity show celebrating the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah’s 20th anniversary will take place in July. Refreshments and a silent acution are included in the $20 advance ticket price. When: July 12 Where: The Depot Grand Hall Info: pwacu.org, 484-2205 Send releases to editor@qsaltlake.com for your event to be included in this section.

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The Summum Pyramid, a sanctuary and temple used by the Summum religious group, located in Salt Lake City.

Supreme Court to Take Pleasant Grove Monument Case; May Impact Phelpsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Anti-Gay Statue The U.S. Supreme Court will consider a free speech case in which Salt Lake Citybased Summum church wants to place a religious monument in a Pleasant Grove, Utah, park. Pleasant Grove officials have refused to allow the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Seven Aphorisms of Summumâ&#x20AC;? to be displayed in the park, even though it is home to a Ten Commandments monument donated by the Fraternal Order of Eagles in the early â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s. City officials asked the court to step into the lawsuit brought by Summum, saying that if the religious group prevails, governments would be inundated with demands to display donated monuments. Pleasant Grove officials and the 10th U.S. Court of Appeals in Denver have ruled that donated monuments displayed by the city remain the private speech of the original donor. Summum claims that, because the monument is on public property, it is government speech creating

a public forum. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Government bodies are now sitting targets for demands that they grant â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;equal accessâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to whatever comparable monuments a given group wishes to have installed, be it Summumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Seven Aphorisms, an atheist groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Monument to Freethought or Rev. Fred Phelpsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s denunciations of homosexual persons,â&#x20AC;? lawyers for Pleasant Grove City wrote in asking the Supreme Court to intervene. Last year Westboro Church founder Fred Phelps was denied by Casper City, Wyo., officials in his request to build a monument to Matthew Shepard. Phelps proposed a monument that would have been 5 to 6 feet tall and made of marble or granite bearing a bronze plaque with an inscription reading â&#x20AC;&#x153;MATTHEW SHEPARD, Entered Hell October 12, 1998, in Defiance of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Warning: â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind; it is abomination.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Leviticus 18:22.â&#x20AC;?

Monaco to Hold Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Clothing Drive On Tuesday, April 22, boutique hotel (and frequent supporter of charitable causes) Hotel Monaco will hold its third annual â&#x20AC;&#x153;Drive by Suitingâ&#x20AC;? to collect career-appropriate clothing â&#x20AC;&#x201D; including underwear â&#x20AC;&#x201D; for women seeking employment. The project is one of many such â&#x20AC;&#x153;suitingsâ&#x20AC;? all Kimpton Hotels (Monacoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parent company) will hold during April. The program will benefit Dress for Success, an international program that empowers disadvantaged women to join the work force. Although Utah doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a Dress for Success program, Jody Vance, Hotel Monacoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sales Manager, said that Monaco will be partnering with charity group Junior League of Salt Lake Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Support Local Womenâ&#x20AC;? campaign to make this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s event a success. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so important to us [at Monaco] to be an integral part of our community and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to give back,â&#x20AC;? said Vance, who is leading this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s event. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the projects that makes me so happy to be working at the Hotel Monaco, because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as important to them as it is to me.â&#x20AC;?

Last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;suitingâ&#x20AC;? drew in more than 5,000 clothing donations. From 6:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;9:00 a.m. participants can swap womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interview-ready clothing (including accessories, briefcases, belts, toiletries and plus-size outfits), new underwear and hosiery and gift cards for at least $15 from outlets such as Ross and TJ Maxx for hot chocolate, coffee and breakfast food at the hotel, as well as other prizes from Nutri Soda and Pink Magazine. Participants may also make cash donations. The day will also feature a raffle for several prizes, including round trip airfare for two, Microsoft software, gift certificates from Landis Salon and Hess Travel and Zero-Haliburton purses. Tickets are $5 each and can be purchased at the hotelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s front desk or obtained free with a donation of underwear. Donations should be dropped off in front of the Hotel Monaco (200 South between Main Street and West Temple on the south side of the street). For more information call Jody Vance at (801) 990-9731 or email jody.vance@hotelmonaco.com.

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Univ. of Utah students participate in the Day of Silence by not speaking for a full day, some with tape over their mouths.

Day of Silence Observed at U, Banned in Provo On April 4 several University of Utah students gathered on the stairway overlooking the Student Union’s patio to observe an event designed to draw attention to the silencing and oppression of gay and transgender people. The event is called the Day of Silence and was started in 1996 by the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network, a group dedicated to ending bullying and violence in America’s schools. Although the day will be held on April 25 this year, the U observed it early because the semester ends April 23. The students wore tape over their mouths to symbolize their silence. When assembled, they removed the tape, shouted and waved noisemakers to indicate the end of their silence. Some students addressed onlookers below, including several members of the school’s Queer Student Union, about the effect anti-gay violence has had on their lives and on the lives of other youth. Their speeches included the reading of original poems and recitations from The Laramie Project (a play about slain gay student Matthew Shepherd whose death made headlines in 1998) as well as speeches. LGBT resource center intern Bonnie Owens said that while physical violence against gay and transgender people is often easy to see, non-physical violence is just as bad. “It’s not easy to see the legislative violence and political violence that goes on each day,” she said. To illustrate her point, Owens read from a mass email sent by the conservative group American Family Association to several Utah schools — an email that called the Day of Silence “a one-sided campaign” to indoctrinate children into accepting homosexuality. Owens also mentioned that schools in the Provo District will not be participating in the Day of Silence because the event might “disrupt” classes. Provo District Assistant Superintendent Ray W. Morgan previously told the Deseret Morning News: “Our purpose is education. Anything that disrupts learning and instruction would not be supported by our school district.”

Owens said, rather, that the day would add to the learning environment and encourage dialogue and respect. The U’s observation of the Day of Silence came at the end of its Allies Week, five days of events designed to educate the school’s community about gay rights and to let straight students, faculty and staff know how they can be supportive of gay and transgender students. This year’s Day of Silence will be held in honor of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old Californian who was murdered by a male classmate in February. King had reportedly asked the student to be his Valentine.

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FRIDAY APRIL 18 WITH RUBY, CHEVY SUBURBAN AND BEVERLY HEELS

AND THE THE SALT LAKE MEN’S CHOIR

American Fork ‘Parents Meeting’ Gives One-Sided Anti-Gay View by Michael Aaron

Stephen Graham, founder of Standard of Liberty, is on a mission to save the world from “homosexualists.” Touting much of “ex-gay” group National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality’s rhetoric at the “parents seminar” at American Fork Library, Graham doesn’t shy away from telling gay activists in the room that they are preying on children, at “4000 percent higher” risk for a plethora of diseases and intimidating news media. Graham was first invited to speak at American Fork High School by its PTSA president Belinda Johnson. After the Utah Pride Center got wind that he would be speaking and asked to be involved, the school’s principal, Carolyn Merrill, cancelled the meeting and asked for time to research Graham’s message. Graham and anti-porn crusader John Gunter rescheduled the meeting for the following Monday and moved it to the library. At that meeting, which drew a few dozen fellow Utah County conservatives (including Eagle Forum’s Gayle Ruzicka and NARTH’s A. Dean Byrd) and about a dozen members of the media, Graham explained that he became involved in the anti-gay-activist movement eight years ago when his son, Drew, came to him and said he was addicted to gay porn and had experimented in gay sex, “shattering” his family. He immediately sent his son to Orem psychologist Jeff Robinson, whose “doc-

toral dissertation was a clinical study of men who had successfully overcome homosexuality” according to NARTH’s Web site, and began religious exercises. He said that his son’s homosexuality is now “ancient history.” Indeed Drew, now 27, says that he is no longer gay. He returned from a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints last month and has written a yet-to-bepublished book on his “conversion to heterosexuality,” Captain of my Soul. In its write-up on the book, the family’s Web site says, “A young LDS man’s true story of being stereotyped and abused by peers as a child, lured into same gender internet pornography during his high school years and recruited into cursory homosexual experimentation with older men while at Brigham Young University. It shows the undeniable link between internet porn, chat rooms, sex addiction and homosexuality, and the deceitful and predatory nature of the ‘gay’ lifestyle. The story ends happily with his subsequent deliverance and healing through family support, expert professional counseling, truth and repentance through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Included is a lengthly [sic] introduction by expert on overcoming homosexuality, Dr. Jeff Robinson.” Drew and his mother, Janice Graham, collaborated on her book, My Darling from the Lions, published in 2005 by the family’s own company, Tidal Wave Books. On the cover, the phrase “A boy

“We put warnings on cigarette packages about the dangers of smoking, but we do nothing to protect youths seeking outof-bounds sexual behaviors.”

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More Info Standard of Liberty Information from the group’s Web site. Purpose “For God, Religion, Family, Freedom Standard of Liberty is an LDS-oriented educational corporation which exists to raise awareness of sexual activist movements overrunning America’s Christian-moral-cultural life and to inspire the public will, families, and individuals to counteract these trends. Please note: Our view of homosexuality and the like does not include rejection or condemnation of individuals, nor is it about acceptance and praise for unnatural and unhealthy sexual identification and behaviors. We promote hope and help in preventing, understanding, and overcoming sexual problems.” FAQs Q: Why do you call yourselves the Standard of Liberty when you focus on homosexuality? A: The “gay” movement is inhibiting the safety, freedom, and prosperity of America. Q: Isn’t societal acceptance of homosexuality a sign of progress and enlightenment? A: No. Homosexuality is an ancient practice that signals a civilization’s demise.

Drew Graham

falls to homosexuality. A mother turns to God. A family is changed forever.” While promoting the book, Drew and his mother were interviewed in January, 2006, by KUTR-AM’s psychologist Liz Hale, who started the show out with, “This show is not about hate. It’s not about debate. It’s dialog only.” Janice described her son, Drew, as “one of those sweet boys who’s very enthusiastic about life, he’s very artistic, he came into the world, I think, that way. He loves music and art … he’s always loved beautiful things. I think we need people like this in the world or we wouldn’t have any artists … any male artists, anyway … He sang the loudest in the choir and smiled the most.” Because of these traits, Janice said, he

was called a “sissy and a fag and gay.” “I think a little boy starts to wonder if he’s a real boy if he gets called names like that,” she said. At the age of 15 or 16, Janice and Stephen caught Drew looking at gay pornography. The pair didn’t know what to do. Not until he was nearly 19 did Drew come to them, telling them that he had experimented with gay sex with three “much older” men. Drew explained in the interview that he had begun looking at gay pornographic imagery in his mid-teens and “through chat rooms and emailing people,” he “escalated” to gay sex with strangers. After his third experience, Drew said he realized that he had a calling to a mission for the LDS Church “and I didn’t want to have this baggage. So I just have to come out and tell my parents.” Drew felt remorse every time he had a sexual experience. “It (sex with men) was interesting and exciting, but it felt wrong at the same time.” “It was, in my experience anyway, completely sexual. It wasn’t about my identity, it was just about physical things,” Drew continued. “I realized that this isn’t healthy, this isn’t right, this isn’t uplifting or promising or anything. There is something intrinsically wrong in my heart that was happening here. There was no commitment; there was no emotion; there was no anything except physical sexual pleasure. And I thought ‘this is no way to live to be going from one sexual experience to the next. You have to have emotions, you have to have connection; you have to have a heart and a mind, and a spirit.’” So, Drew’s dabbling at a young age into anonymous, commitment-free sex was apparently the only introduction that the family had to the world of homosexuality. No wonder Stephen Graham can look gay people in the eyes and say “homosexuality is harmful. Generally in the media, it is

couched in terms of loving relationships, but that’s just not what really happens. It is about rampant sexuality leading to misery and disease.” Stephen says that gays should be labeled like cigarettes. “We put warnings on cigarette packages about the dangers of smoking, but we do nothing to protect youths seeking out-ofbounds sexual behaviors.” As for Drew, he says his friends dismiss his “conversion” by saying he either wasn’t gay to begin with or he’s hiding it today. “Overcoming homosexuality is more taboo than accepting it,” he says. Gay people “demand tolerance for their beliefs, but there’s no tolerance for me saying it can be overcome.” But into taboo Stephen Graham delves. “While the homosexualists claim that sexuality is genetic, my testimony is that homosexuality is not inborn. There is no scientific evidence that genetics plays a part in sexuality. It has been known throughout history that homosexuality is abnormal and dangerous,” he said at the meeting. “Homosexualists are smart, clever and patient,” Stephen finished. “They know that all they need to do is indoctrinate your children and wait for you and me to die. In one generation they have won.” Until then, though, the Graham family will use every opportunity to spread scientifically-questionable health and sociological statistics to those same children. Who knows what harm he is doing to American Fork teens? The Utah Pride Center has planned a counter-message meeting on Wednesday, April 9 (our press date) at the same library. It remains to be seen if it will be the same preaching to the choir that the March 31 meeting turned into or if their message of hope for Utah County teens will be heard. Q

Q: You say homosexuality is physically harmful. How? A: Homosexual sex (sodomy), causes chronic illnesses and life-threatening disease (HIV/ AIDS), shortening life by an average of 20 years. The human body is simply not made for this behavior. In addition, adopting the “gay” identity often masks dangerous psychological problems that need attention. Q: Doesn’t heterosexual sex carry the same physical risks as homosexual sex? A: No, none, if there is abstinence before marriage, and fidelity and healthy, normal sexual intercourse in marriage. Q: Isn’t homosexuality just another kind of love? A: No. If there is love present, it has taken a wrong turn by including sexual lust. People who love each other do not risk each other’s health and well-being. The only healthy and appropriate love between same sexes is nonsexual, such as in friendships and families.

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Q Views Letters For Candy

Editor, This letter is in response to the guest editorial piece entitled, “How to kill a transperson.” This editorial was a moving and passionate piece that admonished readers to take a closer look at their own judgements and prejudices. However, I would like to also bring attention to the many supportive and loving people that do their very best to protect, honor and love a transgender person. I speak from very personal experience. I feel I must take issue with the sweeping statement that “I forgot” how difficult living as a transgendered person is. I have never forgotten. Ever. My best friend was a trans gender person who was one of the first receipents of re-assignment surgery in Utah. She was a true pioneer in this state. Her inital surgery was at the university of Utah, when the reassignment surgery was done in phases. She did have subsequent surgeries in Thailand. At the time of her transformation she did in fact loose the love and support of her family and friends. I can only imagine the depth of sadness she suffered. After several years of struggle and pain I met her. She was a student in my belly dance class. She absolutely shined above all others. We were immediate friends. We became inseperable. We shared dark and difficult times. We also shared the best times of our lives. All of my fondest memories involve her. Every last one of them. She was my daughters godmother, my husbands best friend and my hero. I never let people stare without challenge, never let people speak ill of her, never let a birthday or holiday slide without telling her what she meant to me. She had a shine and a sparkle to her that will never be matched. I tried to be there for her in every way. She provided for those around her, offered sage advice, and gave of her time without question. She was an excepted member of the Utah belly dance community and provided us with wonderful ideas and hilarious running commentary. She simply was the best friend I have ever had. Sadly, the pain and torment that she suffered in the early years of her life, and the victimization that she suffered just became all too much. Her health began to fail and she was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers. She was only 52. I take exception to the sweeping statement that “I forgot”. I have never forgotten. I have never forgotten the stares and the nasty comments, but I also never forgot her laugh, her smile, and her sense of self in a world that fought against her. There are people in the world that try desperatly to help forge a path and walk proudly beside trans gendered people. I tried. My best friend killed herself two years ago. She left this world on April 27, 2006. She left on her own terms, in her own way. Her family still chooses to believe her death an accident, but I know better. I helped plan her funeral, her wake and her cremation. I miss her everyday and feel such pain that I could not save her. As I write this, the tears flow freely. Maybe writing this is a way to try and release the pain and fear that I did not do enough. Maybe it is a way to defend myself from a perceived attack. Maybe it

is just because I miss her so very much. I don’t know. I just know I had to respond to the editorial. The whole world is not against transgender individuals. I for one will do my very best to educate and inform people about trans gender people and to celebrate the life of my best friend. Kairo aka. Anna Grant Salt Lake City

Tucker’s Words of Wisdom

Editor, I want to personally thank you for printing Tucker’s letter as a guest editorial. When I heard Rep. Kern’s words I was appalled but unfortunately not surprised. I remember the Oklahoma City bombing clearly. I was living in Dallas at the time working as an Art Director for a business publication. It was also my birthday. As I was driving to work that morning, anticipating a fun lunch celebration with my friends, I heard the news that a government building in Oklahoma City had been bombed. My hopes for a wonderful day vanished as I frantically tried to remember the name of the building where a dear friend worked. At work we half-heartedly tried to do our jobs while keeping eyes and ears on the streaming news bulletins. I don’t think there was anyone in our office that wasn’t touched in some way by the tragedy. We spent frantic hours trying to contact friends and loved ones. I fortunately heard from my friend around midnight that night. Other’s weren’t so lucky as they received news of relatives deaths. Worse was the children — the missing and the unknown. We all wondered who could have committed such a cruel act. At the GLBT Community Center in Oaklawn, people did what they could. Many people had moved to Dallas from Oklahoma City and surrounding areas to try to find acceptance in a larger more ‘Metropolitan’ community. They now felt the need to go back and help. I want to say there are some very wonderful human beings in Oklahoma but to hear someone refer to gays and

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lesbians as something ‘worse’ than terrorist demeans the outpouring of love and compassion I witnessed in our community during the months after that tragic event. I volunteered as the adult adviser to the GLBT youth group in Dallas and am all to aware of what our younger brothers and sisters face in their schools and sometimes from their own families, especially in the name of ‘christianity’. Tucker’s words expressed the feelings of so many of us. Its encouraging that such wisdom can come from a young adult. Unfortunately, it also shows us that there is still work to be done to educate and inform. Guy Robison Tooele

Plea to prophet Recently a new prophet was sustained. Thomas S. Monson is a man known for his wisdom, who makes you appreciate small joys. He is a man who can lead with ease. New beginnings mean new opportunities. For too long, love and family have been overshadowed by our fear and misunderstanding of gay people. Homophobia is passing for a family value. As a result, an important person in your life may be afraid to tell you about an important aspect of their life. Being gay is not a sin, not a disease, not a choice. It just is. The only choice is how you treat others who may be different from you. Our new prophet has an opportunity to set a new tone: Love your children, your spouse, your siblings, your parents. Let God be the judge, not you. President Monson, please set the priorities. Less fear, more love. Let those of us who have seen this path help. We don’t need to change the doctrine or the commandments; we just need to care, to love and to help each other. Isn’t that Christ-like love and family values in their purest form? W. Olin Thomas III Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons

QSaltLake Welcomes Letters from Our Readers Love a story written in this issue? Hate one? Did a columnist piss you off or tickle your funny bone? Want to say something to the world? Send a letter to the editor — we love feedback! Please keep your letter under 30o words and email it to letters@ qsaltlake.com. You letter, if published, may possibly be edited for length, suitability or libel. No one wants to go to court.

Q on the Street

My vote is for Obama because it’s about my daughter now. The new President impacts her life now more than it will mine. She believes in gay rights at nine years old. Why shouldn’t America’s President? —Heidi Obama. I believe he has the ability to unite the country better then any of the canidates. After 8 years of a country so divided on ideals its time that we find a more common ground. —Brian Obama, Because he’s a younger, fresher face that has well-thought views —Jason

Standing in the Mirror Naked

Hillary, she has sort of been the president before, so she knows what she’s doing. —Kenneth

I’m not touching that one with a ten foot pole! —DJ DC

Queer Gnosis

We asked: Hillary, Obama or McCain and why?

I am voting for Obama! Most elections I wish I could vote “C. None of the Above.” I support gay rights, withdrawing from Iraq and a better domestic policy. —David

By Troy Williams

’m looking at myself naked in the mirror. I stare deep into my blue eyes and wonder about the nature of consciousness. I ask myself, “who or what is observing Me?” I remember something about Jacques Lacan in college — “le stade du miroir.” The ego is formed when our reflection in the mirror fragments with our emotional perceptions of reality. I don’t really understand what that means. But I understand feeling fragmented. I understand the defensive ego that defines the world as “me” and “not me.” Our worst habits are formed from the defensive postures that we show the world. I’m usually a dick to people when I fear getting hurt by them. Aren’t we all? I’ve been pondering the possibilities of the Singularity — the idea of an accelerated advancement in technology that will catalyze an existential shift for all humanity. My first thought is a nuclear explosion. Or perhaps a toxic bio-plague that kills millions. I’m always wondering if humanity can mature fast enough to deal with all of our lethal capacities. In hopeful moments I wonder if maybe Oprah will be humanity’s savior. Throughout the evolution of life on spaceship earth we have witnessed the creation of our biosphere that provides the habitat for life. Above that rests our atmosphere, with the rich oxygen needed to sustain said life. With the advent of modernity we witnessed the emergence of the technosphere — a human made complex of systems, networks and technologies that unite the global population. Some say the next evolution of consciousness will be the emergence of the noosphere — a new hyperorganism or metaconsciousness that is comprised of the shared technological and psychic totality of humanity. I like that idea. It was originally proposed by a French Jesuit priest and paleontologist named Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. He was a maverick as far as priests go. He had the ambition of integrating science and spirituality. He conceived the Omega Point, where human consciousness would coalesce through the noosphere and unite humanity in peace and love. He died before the hippies turned up and tuned out. If he were alive today I wonder if he would see our ability to instantly communicate with cell-phones, text messages and emails as the beginning of a global mind. Futurist Duane Elgin believes that humanity as a species is at an adolescent stage of development. We’re recklessly obsessed

with appearance. We require instant gratification and have no regard for the resources of future generations. George W. Bush is the perfect embodiment of our collective teen narcissism. Bush is also obsessed with our enemies. I again think of Lacan. I’m still staring naked in the mirror. This is where our ego postures. This is where the state of oneness shatters. This is where we act like pricks to anyone who might hurt us. But then we have Oprah. I see Middle American housewives meeting a black woman for the first time on their televisions. And then a gay couple getting married. Next a transgender MtF cutter. A crippled kid dying of cancer. Every oddball and misfit she daily brings into our living rooms. And Oprah does something unprecedented. She creates mass empathy. She connects our hearts and we begin to feel for the Other. And suddenly we’re all crying and sobbing and loving the Stranger. Next we’re reading Eckhart Tolle’s, A New Earth and contemplating the power of living in the Now. Damn she’s good. I see the world in disarray and wonder what will it take to shift consciousness so we don’t self-destruct. Malcolm Gladwell writes about the “tipping point” — that moment of critical mass where big shifts start with small numbers of people and the momentum of change becomes unstoppable. John Lennon writes “Imagine” and then David Archuleta sings it on American Idol, which is then uploaded on YouTube and watched a buzillion times over; and the next thing you know, humans really do begin to live as One. God that kid can sing. And he’s all kinds of adorable. I’m not sure how exactly the noosphere will work. Maybe a morphic field connects us, the 100th monkey washes a potato and humans over time wake up and think wow!, we’ve really got to stop thrashing our planet. We need to treat women better. We’ve got to heal our racial divisions. We’ve got to take care of the poor. We’ve got to lay off gay people. It could happen. The shift in consciousness happens when we look at each other and see ourselves staring back. Other people are only our reflections. I look at an undocumented Latino and I see me. I look at redneck homophobe and I see me. I look at a neoconservative politician and I see me. I look at a handsome supermodel, and oh yeah, I see me. And fear begins to dissolve, because at the end of the day, for all my faults, I’m really

A New Earth and contemplating the power of living in the Now. Damn she’s good.

not that scary. And neither are you. Tonight I’m standing naked in the mirror. I’m staring into my blue eyes and asking, “who is observing Me?” I don’t have an answer. But it’s fun to inquire. I contemplate the word “entrainment.” The tendency for sympathetic harmony and rhythms to form when brought together. Like a room full of grandfather clocks. Over time, every chime begins to match frequency. Like Oprah’s audience. Maybe that’s how humanity saves itself — by harmonizing our energies with our collective potential. Extropians are posthumanists who hope to augment their physical selves with technological enhancements. They plan to upload their consciousness into supercomputers and live forever. Immortality on a hard-drive. The Singularity is here. Time wave zero. I’m all for it. But I’m first concerned with healing our fragmented self and experiencing, if even for a moment, a return to primal oneness. A reflection of our wholeness. After that, I say let’s craft our silicone polymer humanoid shells and peacefully blast off to explore the cosmos. We’ll return to the place of our original emergence. Q

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Snaps & Slaps

Gay Geeks

SLAP: Citizens for Families and the Standard of Liberty When American Fork High School’s principal canceled a PTSA meeting about the dangers of “the gay agenda,” two conservative groups decided to hold it anyway at the local library. The meeting had everything: ancient footage of gay rights rallies juxtaposed on top of innocent children’s faces, comparisons of gay sex to smoking and a speaker who claimed that his child overcame “homosexual tendencies” with religious counseling. The only thing missing was the clown hats. It’s easy to laugh at these bozos for spouting bigoted nonsense, but not so easy when you think about the queer children and teens their nonsense will further ostracize, humiliate and silence. And we’re the threat to kids?

‘Pull Ze Strings!’ by Joselle Vanderhooft

very geek has an embarrassing habit. Some geeks can’t go to a con without their Star Fleet uniform. Some take their love of junk food to new and astonishing levels. Some stay up all night raiding on World of Warcraft while watching anime, Battle Star Galactica and The Simpsons at the same time (if you’re one of these, congratulations. How did your attention span allow you to read this far?). Me, I like — no, loooove — B movies. Not Scary Movie or National Lampoon’s, either. Those just plain suck. A true B movie, on the other hand, sucks so profoundly that its suckitude creates some kind of Einsteinian non-suckiness vacuum solution — a white hole balancing out a black hole — and you actually end up being entertained. I was reminded of this last weekend at the World Horror Convention, which Salt Lake City hosted this year, thus proving that our city is scary enough to freak out even professional horror writers. But I digress. Like many cons, World Horror had more than a few dealers selling DVDs of such dubious classics as The Severed Arm, Swamp Women, The Undertaker and His Pals and, my personal favorite, Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter (no, really). As you can imagine, I gorged on these like a giant spider gorges on radioactive material just before it uses its laser vision to fry a small town. I wouldn’t like bad movies this much, though, without the help of Ed Wood, Jr. Maybe you’ve heard of him because of Tim Burton’s excellent (but biographically imaginative) film that bears his name. Or maybe you’ve watched his Plan 9 from Outer Space, which many critics have dubbed the “worst film ever made” — the fact that it’s about aliens who try to prevent an atomic arms race by resurrecting Earth’s dead doesn’t exactly argue against this judgment. But, oh, his films are just wonderful, my geeky ones! And there are many, many more of them besides the (in)famous Plan 9. Including my favorite, Glen or Glenda? Like many of my most amusing vices, I discovered Wood’s films as an impressionable college student. The first tape I found was not Plan 9 but a lesser-known film about the trials of a cross-dressing, heterosexual man. Filmed in 1953, Glen or Glenda? was supposed to be an exploitation picture loosely based on Christine Jorgensen, whose gender reassignment surgery (male to female) made headlines a year earlier. While Wood added in a few shots explaining the surgery, the film mostly describes

the main character’s struggles to tell his girlfriend about how he feels more comfortable in women’s clothing. Since this is an Ed Wood film, it also includes such head-scratching things as stock footage of stampeding buffalos, tame BDSM whipping scenes and screen legend Bela Lugosi (from just about every Dracula movie in the ’30s) condemning society’s rigid gender roles by bellowing, “Pull ze strings! Pull ze strings!” in his unmistakable Hungarian accent. There’s even a guest appearance by Satan. Yyyyeah. And the best thing of all? This is not an attempt to be tongue-in-cheek or purposely campy. Wood’s serious, folks — the kind of serious that causes side-splitting laugh attacks. And I’m laughing, sure, whenever I watch

SNAP: Mayor Ralph Becker’s ‘Mutual Commitment’ Registry The Salt Lake City mayor gets a snap for giving a slap (albeit a gentle, politically responsible one) to legislators who wanted to slap down his domestic partner registry this session. To recap: the registry survived the session intact save for the name “domestic partnership” which a bill by Sen. Greg Bell, R-Fruit Heights (tee hee) said needed changing because it threatened marriage, or something. Although Q readers offered several suggestions, the mayor and his staff decided on one that gets the registry’s point across while saying “fuck you” to its smug opponents: the Mutual Commitment Registry. Though we still think “the Rainbow Roster” is catchier.

“I’m a normal girl,” she tells Anthy in one of the early episodes. “And I just want a normal boy.” Glen or Glenda? You can’t help but laugh at the incompetence, the wooden dialogue and Wood’s obsession with angora sweaters (he was himself a cross-dresser). But while I do, I’m also proud of Ed Wood. For all his artistic flaws, he was ultimately trying to make a fair-minded, sincere film about a taboo subject; and one that 1950s American culture with all of its rigid gender roles did not regard kindly. Just take a look at the movie’s title card. In the making of this film, which deals with a strange and curious subject, no punches have been pulled — no easy way out has been taken. Many of the smaller parts are portrayed by persons who actually are, in real life, the character [sic] they portray on the screen. This is a picture of stark realism — taking no sides, but giving you the facts — all the facts — as they are today … You are society — JUDGE YE NOT! A little melodramatic, but earnest, yes? That’s what I like about this film. Its willingness to discuss the gender play in

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which heterosexual men can and do engage. In fact, Glen or Glenda? goes out of its way to stress that being gay and cross-dressing have nothing to do with each other. Pretty amazing, considering how many people still think gay man = wears frilly undies. Yet, the film isn’t perfect in delivering its message. There are some ‘gay panic’ moments (such as when Glen rejects another man’s advances), and Wood’s understanding of male homosexuality is sadly typical of a straight man of his time. But Wood doesn’t go out of his way to mock gays. He only brings them up at all to make his point that sexuality, gender identity and gender performance are separate things. That alone makes the film worth watching. Well, that and Bela Lugosi as a mad, omnipotent scientist spouting ridiculous dialogue. “Pull ze stings! Pull ze strings!” P.S. For a really good critical study of the movie (and one that sees it as more anti-gay than I do) visit brightlightsfilm.com/41/ glenglenda.htm. Q

SLAP: Provo School District School officials in Utah’s most conservative county said they wouldn’t allow students to participate in the Day of Silence on April 25. This is where students stay silent all day at school to draw attention to the ways gay and transgender people are discriminated against. The reason given by Assistant Superintendent Ray W. Morgan: “Anything that disrupts learning and instruction would not be supported by our school district.” Those damn gay kids and their allies! If they’d just shut up and get back in the closet where they belonged, everyone could learn in peace. What is it with the stupid coming out of Provo lately?

Ruth Bacon: the Gateway to Other Meats by Ruth Hackford-Peer

have a theory. If you like bacon, you probably wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t succeed for very long as a vegetarian. See, my theory is this. Bacon is the gateway to other meats. You may disagree. You may know people who only eat fish or chicken. But my theory is that the â&#x20AC;&#x153;other white meatâ&#x20AC;? is the open door. For bacon is the hardest to give up and the easiest to slip back into. The unique smell. The tasty crispiness. Bacon is the reason I could never be vegetarian. Just the thought of giving up bacon triggers a craving. Bacon is a pleasure for me. And the fake stuff, it just doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do it. I grew up eating pheasant McNuggets and moose burger so it seemed a ridiculous pairing when, in high school, my first crush was on an out-of-state Utah transplant â&#x20AC;&#x201D; cosmopolitan, sophisticated and worldly ... at least I thought. In order to make her sound even more exotic, I told people she was from New York. Technically she was, but not the allure of NYC, no she was from Rochester. Still, for Roosevelt, that was pretty impressive and I took on the task of figuring out how to get the fiercely independent and beautiful Julie to become my best friend. Her first trip to my house was a disaster. She was unimpressed by Bucky the Bighorn, the taxidermied trophy, mounted on the living room wall whose glass eyes seemed to follow occupants around the room. She was equally disgusted by the fact that our dog lived outside (how dare we treat an animal like that?) and we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t refer to him as our pet even, but as my fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hunting dog. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hunting is just inhumane,â&#x20AC;? she told my father while eating a chicken sandwich from a local fast food restaurant. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The only opponents of hunting I will listen to for very long are vegetarians,â&#x20AC;? my dad replied. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is hypocritical to judge me for harvesting my own meal when you get your dead animals in euphemized Styrofoam packages from the grocery store.â&#x20AC;? That day Julie became a vegetarian

and the spats between she and my father truly began. Years later, Julie ate crow. Well, not literally, but bacon. See, her beliefs had changed since high school. She credited my dad for challenging her. She still cared about animals and their rights, and takes issue with slaughterhouses and inhumane treatment; but she saw for herself a value in killing the meat you eat and in raising animals yourself so you knew what they were fed, how they lived and died. She saw a problem with the packaging of meat for grocery getters to consume without any acknowledgement that what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re eating was once a living, breathing creature. She and my father had their truce. He offered her some farm-raised bacon. She accepted. When I worked at Adams State College, I met Teri. She was a socially conscious, health conscious, environmentally conscious college leader with energy, enthusiasm and leadership. She had been (mainly) vegetarian for years. Unable to resist the BLT sandwich, she could never truly live the veggie life. Sometimes months would pass. Sometimes years, but eventually bacon would win. Like the smoker who intended just one smoke one night while out with friends, soon it was a pack a day and the process of trying to quit began again. Bacon became an obsession until she gave into it. Then she would go months again without a fix. When Riley was three years old, his day-care brought in a special guest to entertain the children. Riley insisted that Goldie the Chicken recognized her name and performed tricks. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not sure what kind of tricks Goldie performed; our three-year-old was quite evasive. But I imagined her pecking the floor, jumping up and down, and using her head to nudge a ball through a hoop. Maybe Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m giving Goldie too much credit. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know. I do know that after the performance the classes gathered for lunch â&#x20AC;&#x201D; chicken nuggets. Apparently my child

Apparently my child was the only one to put together that chicken, as in Goldie, equaled chicken, as in nugget. His vegetarianism began that day.

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I WILL was the only one to put together that chicken, as in Goldie, equaled chicken, as in nugget. His vegetarianism began that day. About six weeks later his commitment to vegetarianism was challenged by Sunday brunch. The bacon smelled too good. He became a vegetarian except for bacon. Eventually he was a vegetarian except for bacon, chicken, hot dogs, sausage and pizza. Basically he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t eat beef for awhile. Eventually that too blew over. Sure, complete and absolute vegetarianism exists. Folks can live and eat this way their entire lives. And many do, but for some of us, bacon is a bitch. Currently we have a friend whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been staying with us for a few months. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vegetarian too. Mainly vegan except for some dairy heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll eat foods we prepare. The biggest challenge to sharing space with a vegetarian is that our kitchen is a one-butt kitchen. If you know me at all, you know that my butt can fill up a twobutt kitchen so you can see where this is going. Kim and I shimmy past each other as we prep dinner or clean up. We move out of the way to open the oven, fridge or dishwasher. The kitchen is so tight thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no way to clean as you go. And in the midst of our shimmying back and forth stands Will prepping vegetables and tofu. I hope he gets more joy out of his diet than I would. If boredom could kill, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be dead on his diet in a week. I keep thinking how much easier dinner would be if he ate dead animals. For my part, I keep offering him bacon.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

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Signs of the Times

Ruby Ridge Where’s My Cake? by Ruby Ridge

o we finally made it, kittens. We’ve reached 100 editions of QSaltLake and its baby daddy Salt Lake Metro, and what a wild, weird and wonderful trip it has been. Together we have covered the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping, the death of Ronald Reagan, the opening and closing of Club 161, four years’ worth of elections, the demise of the Utah Gay Rodeo Association, my cardio diet, Martha Stewart’s imprisonment, Mel Gibson’s snuff flick about Christ, the Catholic pedophile priest cover-up, the opening of IKEA and Cabela’s, the Zions Bank/HRC scandal, the Buttars “Black Baby” fiasco and Dell Schanze’s descent into dementia, and so much more. Darlings, we really have covered some ground! It seems like only yesterday (but it was early 2004) when Michael Aaron, a small scruffy-looking urchin with a pronounced, almost freakish, Hebrew nose and struggling facial hair approached me on the street. Overwhelmed by my sheer glamour and polyester loveliness, he begged me to write for his new gay community paper. His bony little hands flailed feverishly and his excited voice rose to a pitch only audible to neighborhood dogs as he explained how his plucky little gay rag was going to be different than everything that had come before. It would be biweekly, colorful; the events and coverage would be timely; it would be affordable to advertisers, and the copy would be spell-checked. It was sheer madness! I thought the poor little waif was delusional, but glancing upon his meager body-weight I concluded that he was simply demented and weak from hunger and thirst. I reluctantly agreed to write for Michael because, frankly, it was quicker than getting a restraining order. Four years later, the rest is taste-defying, politically incorrect history. I’m pretty sure that I am the only contributor to Q that has been here since day

one. I could be wrong, but none of the office minions look remotely familiar and the latest rash of young writers that I briefly met at the Christmas party look like refugees from a Baby Gap catalog. I’m not saying I’m old, but the little bastards are so young they probably write their articles at Starbucks on a Speak and Spell ... It’s appalling! So in the longevity sweepstakes I have to think ... Ben Williams goes on periodic sabbaticals (is that what the kids are calling cosmetic body shaping now?) so he doesn’t count. David Nelson only surfaces periodically like a whack-a-mole to oppose anything resembling gun control (God knows he’ll be grieving for months now that Charlton Heston has croaked) so he’s out. I remember that one lesbian writer who moved to Oregon to hug trees or something so she’s toast, and Ryan Shatner, Schuback, Love Schack ... whatever the hell his name is (you know the one whose column sounds like the Inuit word for Port-a-potty), well he hasn’t been around for more than a year or two so he doesn’t qualify either. Troy Williams definitely doesn’t count because only Timothy Leary and dolphins can understand anything he writes. Now Tony Hobday may have been here for quite a while, but I’d have to count hundreds of empty vodka bottles around his desk like rings on a tree to check that out for sure. As for our assistant editor, JoSelle, she was still doing hard time for running heroin and shanking a prison guard long after I started writing. Wow, now that I think about it, cherubs, Rocky Anderson had better staff retention than this place! So despite the high turnover of inconsequential little people that toil in obscurity to orbit this magazine around the lifegiving sun that is my column, it has been a wonderful four years and 100 editions. So my question to you all is: “Where the hell is my cake?” Q

I reluctantly agreed to write for Michael because frankly, it was quicker than getting a restraining order.

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1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 10 0 | a pril 10, 20 08

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ighland High School student Cara Cerise has a political and public service resume that many people twice her age would envy. At 17 years old she has served as a member and then president of Building One New Dream, her school’s social justice club, restarted the Utah chapter of Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere at the Utah Pride Center and lobbied against several anti-gay bills, including one that sought to ban gay-straight alliances in public schools. She is also one of only 15 high school students in the country to receive a $5,000 scholarship from the American Civil Liberties Union in recognition for her work in “protect[ing] civil liberties, especially for young people.” Cerise said she was drawn to gay rights causes in her teens largely because of her family background. Her father, who is gay, received full custody of both Cerise and her 14-year-old sister in 1995, and Cerise says growing up in a household headed by a gay couple was often a struggle for her. She remembers hiding Human Rights Campaign stickers and copies of OUT magazine when friends came over for sleepovers out of fear of ridicule and fear for her family’s safety. “I feel there’s a really strong sense of a traditional family — especially in Utah — of a mom, a dad and children, and I just didn’t know how my family fit into that,” she explained. “Like at parent-teacher conferences, wanting to bring my dad and his partner, but kind of being embarrassed to tell the teacher about that or ask if that was appropriate, because I didn’t know if it was right to have my family there or if it was allowed because my family wasn’t traditional.” The turning point for her, she said, came in 2006 when classmates and fellow BOND members told her that she should look into Camp Anytown, a retreat held in several states that teaches youth ages 14– 18 how to recognize and fight bigotry in all its forms. Intrigued by her classmates’ experiences (“They said, ‘Cara, you have to go, you’ll just love it!’” she remembered), Cerise joined “40–60 diverse students from around the valley” at the camp in Big Cottonwood Canyon from June 18–23. Cerise said the six-day retreat changed her life by teaching her not only to identify her values, but how to address the homophobia she had grown up fearing. “Before I didn’t know how to go about doing that,” she explained. “I knew my family was important to me and I was very prideful in being a part of a gay family, but I didn’t really now how to speak out. I just hadn’t found my voice, really. ... I just found what was important to me and was completely inspired to speak out.” She also said that she found it easier to speak out after becoming more active in BOND club (which she now runs) and meeting other students who shared her interest and passion for combating

social injustice. And as she became more comfortable in her new role as a young activist, she said she wanted to reach out to teens and children who had grown up in families like hers. “I was also trying to think of ways too that I could use my specific situation of having a gay parent to help other youth that may be feeling the same way as I did — kind of alone and not knowing how to fit in to the LGBT community exactly or how we could help out,” she said. When she discovered that Utah’s chapter of COLAGE had been inactive for a year, she called the Utah Pride Center (where she already worked as a youth group volunteer) to see about starting it up again. She now leads the group. As a high school junior, Cerise also lead BOND club members in lobbying against HB 236. Sponsored by Rep. Aaron Tilton, R-Springville, this bill made headlines across the state for its attempts to restrict school clubs that “involve human sexuality,” which many took to be an exclusive attack on gay-straight alliances. Although both houses passed the bill and the governor signed it into law, Cerise was not discouraged. She was back on Capitol Hill during this legislative session lobbying in support of Rep. Carol Spackman Moss’ anti-bullying bill. “I testified before the House Education Committee in support of the bill and talked about how all students deserve and need the protections of the bill, whether it is gay students, straight students and so forth,” she said. Gov. John Huntsman signed the bill into law on March 17. With a $5,000 scholarship in hand, Cerise has begun the process of applying to college. Although she hopes to spend 2009 studying in Paraguay to learn to speak Spanish, she has applied to Westminster College and to schools in San Francisco and Portland, Ore. Although Cerise says she enjoys several subjects, she said that the social sciences are her passion and that she could see herself pursuing a degree in political science “or possibly law.” “I guess form lobbying and being on the Hill so much I’ve come to the conclusion that to make change on bigger scale it takes the support of the government and laws,” she said. When not fighting bigotry, Cerise said her passions extend to yoga, cycling, skiing, listening to music (R&B artist India Arie is a particular favorite) and just spending time with her friends and the family that inspire her. “I’ve grown up in a loving environment and have always received support from my father and his partners, and I know that my family will always love and accept me for who I am,” she said. “[They’ve taught me] to keep a positive attitude, be open-minded and accepting, and do my best.” Q

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F V I C I E T W I OS N

Jacin Tales Episode 1: Coons and Canasta By A.E. Storm

he mostly-modest residents of Blaine Avenue paid little notice to (or denied the reality of) the gay couple moving into a house in their mostly-modest neighborhood. Jacin and George bought the house five years into their relationship as an anniversary gift to one other. They had started out as friends, but mutual jealousies ran rampant as they attempted to date other men. Eventually they fell into bed with one another, fell in love and argue only when the moon is full or there’s no milk in the fridge. This being Jacin’s third long-term relationship (that is, more than eight months), he was a little nervous but also enthusiastic about sharing the responsibilities of home ownership with his lover. However, it would be only a few months later that the butterflies raiding his gut would increase when he learns his parents are moving into a duplex four houses down. Their quaint two-bedroom rambler sits on a quarter acre of land — the backyard large enough to accommodate their two rowdy dachshunds — Hansel and Gretel. The living quarters on the main floor and the unfinished basement offer just enough intrigue for their feisty Maine Coon cat — aptly called Freddy Krueger as she could strip the lacquer off a bowling ball in two swipes. If Hansel could talk, he’d attest to this fact, though his several scars illustrate it. Coons are a bit less domesticated than other house cats, and to allow them to wander outdoors would be like a frightening crossepisode of America’s Most Wanted and Animal Planet. With Freddy Krueger incarcerated in the bathroom, Jacin and George hauled boxes into the house from the U-Haul haphazardly parked on the front lawn. Both hot under the collar because their friends Eddie and Josh were late to help them unpack. It wasn’t common knowledge among the group of friends that their procrastination in helping each other move residences was a conscious choice. For most of them growing roots was like planting Birds of Paradise in the arctic tundra. Plus Jacin and George packed around absolutely everything they had ever obtained since childhood. About the time the U-Haul was half cleared and the interior of the house

looked victim to a home invasion, Eddie and Josh arrived bearing two 12-packs of PBR and a bottle of cheap vodka. The usual homo-hugs followed by endearing greetings like “about time you old trolls got here!” and “listen here missy gooch, don’t make me pinch your nipples!” were exchanged. Though it was barely noon, it was also Saturday, so beer cans were fastidiously opened and chilled vodka shots were cheered in tradition to: “Here’s to the ones that we love, here’s to the ones that love us, but to hell with the ones and here’s to us.” Less than three hours later, the U-Haul had been emptied, Josh had recapped his previous night’s escapade with a man he picked up at Club Try-Angles (whose most memorable quality was that “he’s hung like a horse on Viagra”) and George had dug up playing cards for a game of canasta. As with previous attempts at the game, the foursome bickered over scoring and the rules — it always peeved Eddie when the players would advise each other on which cards to play. Why they all enjoy playing canasta no one will ever know — to an outsider it would look similar to a murder of crows pecking at each other until bloody. Twenty minutes into the rotation Josh’s phone abruptly cooed Britney’s single Piece of Me. After the standard pleasantries, Josh just listened to what was said on the other end and the winter pale drained from his face. “What’s wrong?” George asked after Josh hung up the phone. “That was the guy I hooked up with last night,” Josh replied looking flustered. “What did he say?” “I don’t want to talk about right now ... I need a shot!” Eddie, Jacin and George knew better than to force it out of him — he would talk about it when he was ready. Suddenly, a high-pitch screech emanated from behind the bathroom door. “We forgot about Freddy,” George said. He opened the door and the cat barreled out of the bathroom; Freddy nearly skid into Josh, hissed at him with contempt then scrammed down the stairs. Q To be continued ...

a pril 10, 20 08 | issue 10 0 | QSa lt L a k e | 21

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The boxes have been ticked, the votes have been tallied, and our faaabulous readers have spoken. Here are your choices for Utah’s most faaabulous everything.

Restaurants Most Faaabulous Asian Restaurant

Cafe Trang

From its humble beginnings at what was once a post office box station, Cafe Trang has steadily grown because of its great food and wide selection. Now they have four locations, including the Crane Building and Park City. 2. Thai Siam 3. Sawadee

Most Faaabulous Greek/Mediterranean Restaurant

Cafe Med

The race wasn’t even close. A great atmosphere, faaabulous crowd and delicious food. A winning combo. 2. Mazza 3. The Other Place

Most Faaabulous Mexican Restaurant

Red Iguana

This restaurant has lines out the door almost from the moment they open until they close. Holy molé. 2. Rio Grande Cafe 3. La Puente

Most Faaabulous Italian Restaurant

Caffe Molise / Cannella’s

A tie between two very different downtown Italian restaurants. Molise is a romantic getaway that specializes in Northern Italian cuisine (ohmygod, go for the gnoche), and Cannella’s is a get-in-get-out authentic Italian lunch joint. Try both in a day when your Italian snob friends visit.

Most Faaabulous Vegetarian Restaurant

Sage’s Cafe

Ian at Sage’s is a busy guy and passionate about food, especially vegetarian food. His creative recipes are as beautiful as they are delicious. His newer restaurant, Vertical Diner came in second place. 2. Vertical Diner 3. Addicted/One World (tie)

Most Faaabulous Steak and Seafood

Market Street Grill

Whether it’s oysters, filet mignon or a damn fine clam chowder you’re after, Gastronomy, Inc.’s arguably bestknown restaurant delivers the best in fine dining and the best surf’n’turf in Utah. 2. Spencer’s 3. Ruth Chris

Most Faaabulous After-Hours Dining

Dee’s Family Restaurant

Made famous by its pastel interiors and down-homey feel, Dees’ food is hearty, plentiful and affordable and perfect for breakfast, lunch, dinner … or the meal that comes in the middle of the night. 2. Denny’s 3. Village Inn

Most Faaabulous Formal Dining

The New Yorker

Gastronomy, Inc. takes first again with its “best-of-everything” restaurant that specializes in continental cuisine and tasty – and tasteful! – American dishes. 2. Metropolitan 3. Bambara and Martine (tie)

Most Faaabulous Hole-in-the-Wall Restaurant

Blue Plate Diner

Be-bop-a-loo-bop! Comfort favorites like huevos rancheros and chicken fried steak and this diner’s ’50s look make this diner one of your favorite “hole in the walls.” 2. Cotton Bottom and Ogies Cafe (tie)

Most Faaabulous Romantic Atmosphere

Fresco

Candle light. Patio dining. And tasty entrees that mix Old World taste with New World flare. Make your Valentine’s Day reservations now. So many of you like Fresco that it’s bound to be crowded! 2. Paris Bistro 3. La Caille

Food & Drink Most Faaabulous Burgers

Crown Burger

Seven Utah locations AND a signature burger piled high with pastrami? Eat your heart out, Burger King. Utah’s fast food royalty is just cooler than you. 2. Acme Burger 3. Training Table

Most Faaabulous BBQ

Sugar House Barbecue

The restaurant formerly known as Redbones has offered Memphis Style Barbecue and Cajun fare since 1996, but this is the first time this local eatery has appeared in our pages – probably because our readers were too busy picking those tasty ribs. We forgive you. 2. Famous Dave’s 3. Good Wood

Most Faaabulous Sandwiches

Toasters

Toasters is a European-style deli in downtown Salt Lake City that specializes in scrumptious sandwiches. Some of these, like their bagel breakfasts, are also, coincidently, toasted. 2. Gandolfos 3. Paradise and Robin’s Nest (tie)

Most Faaabulous Sunday Brunch

Market Street Grill Yep, again! 2. Eggs in the City 3. Trio

Most Faaabulous Drink Prices

Club Try-Angles

Gene at Try-Angles always treats you right, whether it’s giving his regulars funny nick names, feeding them his yummy corned beef on St. Patrick’s Day or giving back to the community by sponsoring charitable causes. Oh yeah. And his $1 drafts every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday make your wallet and your belly happy, too. 2. Burt’s Tiki Lounge and Bongo (tie)

Most Faaabulous Wine Selection

Metropolitan

This upscale restaurant on West Broadway specializes in an encyclopedic list of classy vintages, some (like the Château Palmer) dating back to 1970. Oui! 2. Spencer’s and Lugano (tie)

Most Faaabulous Beer Selection

Bayou

Awesome Cajun food and over 200 microbrews bottled or on tap? Yeah, Bayou is to beer what Metropolitan is to wine. 2. Squatters 3. The Woodshed

Most Faaabulous Martinis

The Red Door

Most Faaabulous Bookstore

Sam Weller’s

Our readers agree You can’t go wrong with a historic independent book store, especially one that boasts miles and miles of reading material. 2. King’s English 3. Barnes & Noble

Most Faaabulous Music Store for the iTunes-phobic

Graywhale CD

Graywhale made selling used CDs popular (and costeffective) in Utah long before chains like F.Y.E. did. Given their excellent selection and friendly, knowledgeable staff, we hope they’ll outlast the chains, too. 2. Slowtrain

Most Faaabulous Place to Rent/Buy Videos

Tower Theatre

Yep, the Tower not only shows great independent (and gay) movies, it also rents and sells them. As if you needed another excuse to visit 9th and 9th. 2. Graywhale

Most Faaabulous Furniture Store

IKEA

Apparently, all the jokes about this famous European furniture store and gay people have some truth to them. Looking at their faaabulous chairs, sofas and comfy foam mattresses, who can blame us? 2. Z Gallery 3. RC Willey

Most Faaabulous Antiques

Anthony’s Antiques and Fine Arts

This nifty little bar near Hotel Monaco has it all hot Cuban décor, smoking Jazz music and the best martinis in the city. Also, a really big picture of Che Guevara. 2. Mynt Lounge and Oyster Bar (tie)

‘Antique’ is often synonymous with ‘junk,’ but not at Anthony’s. This store’s stunning furniture, lighting fixtures and even art make this the classiest antique shop in the valley. 2. Abode/Decades (tie)

Red Rock Brewing Company

Most Faaabulous Coffee

Most Faaabulous Wheels

Most Faaabulous Pizza

Friendly staff, yummy pastries and did we mention the coffee and tea? Whether you’re looking for an exotic cappuccino or a plain black coffee to kick you awake for work, the Coffee Garden is the place to go. 2. Salt Lake Roasting Company 3. Beans & Brews and Coffee Break (tie)

Most Faaabulous Appetizers

Red Rock is best known for its brewery. But when we read about their appetizers, like Cajun fried tiger shrimp, beer cracker and – no foolin’ – fried green tomatoes, we agree with you that their fare is just as good as their beer. 2. Bayou 3. Fiddler’s Elbow

The Pie Pizzeria

Any U of U student could’ve told you that the Pie’s fresh toppings (including Geona Salami and bay shrimp) and generous portions make it the state’s most faaabulous pizzeria. 2. Settebello 3. Salt Lake Pizza and Pasta and Stoneground (tie)

Most Faaabulous Salads

Red Rock Brewing Company

Apparently, their Chinese beef, warm goat cheese and New York steak salads rocked so much you didn’t even try to vote for anyone else. Most impressive.

Most Faaabulous Soup

Big City Soup

Vegan-friendly, hearty and creative, we were heartbroken when Big City Soup had to leave Main Street, but are thrilled that they’re still stewing over at the Gateway Center. 2. Soup Kitchen 3. Paradise Bakery

Most Faaabulous Sushi

Takashi

Located on popular Market St., Takashi holds its own against the competition with its faaabulous and ever-changing sushi menu. Whether you’re a connossieur of tamago, unagi or more exotic rolls, you’ll find something to tickle your palate. 2. Tsunami and Happy Sumo (tie) 3. Ichiban

Most Faaabulous Desserts

Market Street Grill

True story Their crème brulee is so faaabulous, it makes you cry. 2. Oasis/Dodo (tie)

Coffee Garden

Shopping Most Faaabulous Bargain Clothing

Pib’s Exchange

This Sugar House thrift shop with its funky, trendy outfits and excellent deals puts the “t” in trendy and the “f” in faaabulous for our readers who favor a young, hip urban look. 2. Deseret Industries 3. Decades

Most Faaabulous Clothes Store That Might Make Your Mom Gasp

Cockers

Ah, yes. The place you chose for the best men’s sexy jeans, undies and swimwear also has the cheekiest name in town. We dare you to say it three times fast. 2. Bastille 3. Nordstrom

Most Faaabulous Shoes that Would Make Kelly Envious

Nordstrom/Nordstrom Rack

Ohmygod. Shoes! Unlike some of the ill-fated footwear in every gay man’s favorite viral video, you voted that the shoes at this national department store universally rule. 2. Aldo 3. Cockers

Most Faaabulous Boutique for Drag Queens

Decades/Blue Boutique (tie)

Vintage clothing shop Decades tied with one of the city’s most (in)famous lingerie boutiques. We dare the Cyber Sluts to use items from both at their next show. 2. Deseret Industries 3. Lane Bryant

Mark Miller Toyota

Miller’s auto dealership not only offers fabulous prices, but according to its Web site it will become fully eco friendly in June. That’s pretty faaabulous. 2. Ken Garff

Most Fabulous Flower Shop

Twigs

Gay-owned florist Twigs has won a Fabbie every year for its friendly customer service, speedy deliveries and faaabulous selection. Q loves you, Raymond! 2. Every Blooming Thing 3. Flower Patch/Celestial Floral (tie)

Most Faaabulous Roses

Twigs

Well, duh! 2. Costco 3. Every Blooming Thing

Most Faaabulous Place for Naughty Gifts

Cahoots

You know those saucy novelty stores where you can get dirty birthday cards, edible underwear and shirts that say things like “Dip Me in Honey and Feed Me to the Lesbians?” Well, Cahoots is like that, only gayer. 2. Mischievous 3. Cabin Fever

Most Faaabulous Stationery Store

Tabula Rasa

In these days of emails and text messages, nothing is as faaabulous as a handwritten letter. And Tabula Rasa has enough high-quality paper, sealing wax and fountain pens to make your faaabulous letter even more faaabulous. 2. Cahoots 3. Cabin Fever

Most Faaabulous Adult Store

Mischievous

Looking for some sensual massage oil, adult toys or fetish wear? Then you’re probably feeling a little bit mischievous. This well-stocked (tee hee) downtown shop in can help. 2. Cahoots 3. Blue Boutique

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Services Most Faaabulous Gym

24-Hour Fitness

A health club that never closes. What better way to get that six pack or flat stomach to show off for the guy or gal of your dreams this summer? Even better this corporate fitness chain has locations all around the state. 2. Gold’s Gym 3. Planet Fitness

Most Faaabulous Ski Resort

A T

Most Faaabulous Real Estate Agent

Mark Barr

Rainbow Mountain realtor Mark Barr is everything a faaabulous realtor should be outgoing, professional, friendly and, above all, in love with his city (and we also hear he plays a mean game of tackle football). 2. Babs De Lay 3. Julie Silveous

Most Faaabulous Place to Get Drilled

Sugar House Dental Spa

Q readers have spoken Dentist Kirkland Graham drills you and fills you and leaves you smiling. 2. Dr. Greg Perkins 3. Williamson Dental

Alta

Most Faaabulous Doctor

Most Faaabulous Hair Salon

This year, Q favorite doc Christopher Gamble had some competition Salt Lake City internist Rose Shorter. The fact that you’re nominating so many gay-friendly doctors is pretty faaabulous to us. 2. Dr. Sarah Ormsby

When the weather outside is frightful our skiing readers find these slopes delightful. Just be sure to check out their faaabulous mountain (and equally faaabulous classes) before the snow melts. 2. Deer Valley 3. Snowbird/Brighton tie

Landis Salon

Christopher Gamble / Rose Shorter (tie)

Most Faaabulous Physician’s Assistant

Eco-friendly, Aveda-enabled and they handle everything from hair to facials to make up? Sign us up for a faaabulous package, please! 2. AeroLab / High Maintenance tie 3. Butterfly Jack

Dana Smith

Most Faaabulous Place For a Maincure/Pedicure

Kura Door and Christian Allred (tie)

Nailed!

And what’s a good pampering without a manicure or a pedicure – especially one that’s reasonably priced and done by a friendly technician? With manicures starting at $15 there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get nailed next time you’re in Salt Lake City. 2. Landis Salon 3. Skinworks

Most Faaabulous Place to Get Waxed

Skinworks

Skinworks is a school for estheticians with a salon staffed by its students. According to you, they all deserve “A”s when it comes to waxing your backs, arms, legs and everywhere elses. 2. Landis Salon 3. Zazou

Most Faaabulous Tattoo Parlor

Big Deluxe

This faaabulous ten-year-old studio offers custom tattoo design and permanent make up as well as online portfolios to help you pick the artist who is right for you. Sadly, our attempts to convince Michael to get the Q logo inked on his forehead have proven unsuccessful … so far. 2. Good Times 3. Lost Art

Most Faaabulous Place to get Pierced

Iris Piercing

No, not your left nipple, your right eyebrow, or even both nostrils. Though the friendly, experienced staff at this favorite Sugar House studio will be glad to do all of the above for you (just not all at once, because that would probably be complicated). 2. Koi Piercing 3. Big Deluxe

Most Faaabulous Therapists

Pride Counseling

If you’re gay and need therapy, it’s always faaabulous to talk to a counselor who can understand your sexual orientation because they’re also gay. It’s also faaabulous to support therapists who give back to the community with support groups – including one to help men who get arrested for having public sex with other men. 2. Aspen Grove Counseling 3. The Trapp

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Because where would a faaabulous doc be without these faaabulous folks? And for our readers, this U of U Hospital employee is as faaabulous as they come.

Most Faaabulous Massage

This year, the faaabulous therapists at this holistic Japanese spa square off against last year’s winner and enemy of sore muscles everywhere, Christian Allred. Think they might decide the title with a massage contest if we asked nicely? 2. Vonya Olachnovitch 3. Kevin Guzik

Most Faaabulous Dog Groomer

Dog Show

You might remember this gay-owned groomer from last year, when they gave Michael’s pooch Xena a fluffy new ’do. Xena sure does, and she says the experience was faaabulous (well, except for the part with the scary blow drier). 2. Camp Bark-a-Lot 3. Yuppie Puppie

Most Faaabulous Attorney

Laura Milliken Gray

Whether they need help with co-guardianship agreements, wills or other domestic partner documents, Q readers turn to this faaabulous gay-friendly attorney for all their needs. 2. Doug Fadel 3. Lauren Barros

Most Faaabulous Hotel

Hotel Monaco

This downtown boutique hotel is faaabulous in so many ways, from its annual Red Party to benefit the Utah AIDS Foundation to its Pink Party just before Utah Pride Day. Its charitable leanings and its trendy décor make it the best hotel for our readers. 2. The Hilton 3. Grand America

Most Faaabulous B & B

Anniversary Inn

Yep, we checked. They welcome same-sex couples. How faaabulous is that? 2. Under the Lindens 3. Armstrong Mansion

Media Most Faaabulous Radio Station

KRCL-FM

No surprise, here. Any radio station with Q columnist and rabble-rouser Troy Williams as host has got to be a favorite with our readers. 2. X96FM 3. KUER-FM

Most Faaabulous TV News

KUTV 2

Their anchors are hard working, yet personable enough to joke around between segments. But we also think a lot of you just want to Get Gephardt in bed. 2. Fox 13 3. KSL

Arts Most Faaabulous Theatre Company

Plan-B

Plan-B has been wowing theatre-goers for decades with its edgy, innovative and all-around provocative work, from last year’s award-winning Facing East to the annual celebration of censored literature, And the Banned Played On. We’re glad you love them as much as we do. 2. Salt Lake Acting Company 3. Pioneer Theatre

Most Faaabulous Local Band

The Purr Bats

These guys revel in bizarro conspiracy theories, kitschy collages and songs about how weird Salt Lake City is. Also, they list Pokemon, Ouija Boards and “Electricity without which we’d be sunk” as influences, which alone makes them awesome. 2. The Spazmatics

Most Faaabulous Musical Group

Salt Lake Men’s Choir

“Utah’s Other Choir” has done Broadway, Hollywood and The Ladies’ Literary Club in the last few months. They must have pretty big … voices. And big hearts — admission to their last holiday concert was free with a donation to the Utah Food Bank. 2. Utah Symphony

Most Faaabulous Art Gallery

A Gallery

This Salt Lake City gallery has 10,000 square feet … for paintings, sculpture, textiles and other eclectic works by innovative artists. There’s no cooler place to be when Gallery Stroll comes around. 2. Utah Museum of Fine Arts 3. Salt Lake Art Center

Most Faaabulous Movie Theater

Broadway Centre Theatre

Yeah, movies where things explode are nice, but Q readers know that the Broadway Centre Theatre is the place to go for thoughtful comedies and dramas – many of them by independent studios – that you won’t find anywhere else (note films here may also contain things that explode). 2. Tower Theatre 3. Brewvies

Most Faaabulous Play

Facing East/Gutenberg! The Musical (tie)

When a sober drama about parents coming to terms with a gay son’s suicide and a rollicking two man musical about, um, the inventor of the printing press vie for first place, you know one thing Plan-B was behind them both and will probably run out of wall space for their awards soon. 2. Exposed

Most Faaabulous Concert of the Year

Most Faaabulous Actor

This just in — Faaabulous and gay-positive mega concert featuring icons like Cyndi Lauper, the Dresden Dolls and all-queer quartet The Clicks is a hit with our readers. Whoda thought, right? 2. Rufus Wainwright 3. Indigo Girls

Alexis Baigue is something of a local celebrity. And he should be. Whether performing in Utah organ donor commercials, narrating KUED documentaries or acting on the stage (his natural home), his talent is inspiring, masterful and all-around faaabulous. Next year, we may have to name the award afer him. 2. Kirk Bateman 3. Jay Perry

The True Colors Tour

Groups Most Faaabulous Social Group

Queer Village (Utah AIDS Foundation)

UAF’s outreach to gay and bisexual men encourages them to discuss their health issues and encourages a sense of community among participants. And any organization that screens Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? for Gay Movie Night is pretty faaabulous. 2. sWerve 3. Spicy Dinner/Utah Male Naturists (tie)

Most Faaabulous Religious Organization

Unitarian Universalist Society

With their queer-friendly attitude (the South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society has a transgender minister) and openness when it comes to sensitive religious topics, Utah’s Unitarian churches win with our readers. 2. First Baptist 3. Utah’s Episcopal Church

Most Faaabulous Sports Organization

QUAC

With programs open to beginning and advanced swimmers alike, the Queer Utah Aquatic Club does a faaabulous job of being what every queer sports organization should be fun, dedicated and inclusive. 2. Mountain West Flag Football League 3. Salt Lake City Gay Athletic Association

Most Faaabulous Worthy Cause

Equality Utah

Really, what’s a more faaabulous cause than helping Equality Utah fight for your rights on Capitol Hill? 2. Utah AIDS Foundation 3. Utah Pride Center

People Most Faaabulous Queer Leader

Mike Thompson

In one of our only landslide votes, you all chose Equality Utah Executive Director Mike Thompson for this award. Given the long hours he and his staff have put in fighting for gay rights (and opposing the legislature’s more boneheaded bills) we think it couldn’t go to a better person. 2. Paul Reynolds (Queer Utah Aquatic Club) 3. Valerie Larabee (Utah Pride Center Executive Director) and Nikki Boyer (Utah Stonewall Democrats Chair) (tie)

Most Faaabulous Politician

Scott McCoy

City Weekly and Q readers both agree. Whether fighting for more inclusive wrongful death benefits or chastising Sen. Chris Buttars, McCoy is one of our most faaabulous legislators (and, rumor has it, a pretty faaabulous basketball player). 2. Rep. Christine Johnson 3. Rep. Jackie Biskupski

Most Faaabulous Straight Ally

Ralph Becker

Salt Lake City is in good hands after former Mayor Rocky Anderson’s departure. After all, who but a faaabulous mayor like Becker would not only propose to make a domestic partnership registry but go to Capitol Hill to defend it? 2. Jan Lovett 3. Boyer Jarvis

A T

Alexis Baigue

Most Faaabulous Bartender

Stan - Club Try Angles

Or sometimes known as Phoebe, Blanche, Dumpy, Grumpy, Humpy or Nipples, this is the man to spill your heart to over a beer. He listens to you like you’re the only one in the room and his company is always like a breath of fresh air. 2nd Place: Ducky - Gossip 3rd Place: Wee & Mogeley - Paper Moon

Most Faaabulous Performer

Nova Starr

The divine and sharp-tongued Miss Nova rules again! But who could help loving this faaabulous drag queen and her tasty chocolate Nova Bars? 2. Raven Debonaire 3. David Archuleta

Night Life Most Faaabulous Gay Bar

Club Try-Angles

Now in its fifth year, Club Try-Angles continues to be the hot spot for the working stiff weekday crowd and the young clubbing weekend crowd. From the monthly Bear Jam to the popular Underwear Nights to beer-soaked Mondays, Wilma and the clan keep us bellying up to the bar at a decent price. 2nd Place: Trapp Door and Gossip 3rd Place: The Trapp

Most Faaabulous Lesbian Bar

Paper Moon

Toni Fitzgerald is a fabulous lesbian (excuse the oxymoron, but she is!) bar owner. She’s always out to raise money for great causes and she knows how to draw the crowds. In fact, you can find many of her patrons dancing her own choreography almost any night of the week — except Mondays. 2nd Place: MoDiggity’s

Most Faaabulous Mixed Bar

Tavernacle Social Club

This is where you can find Mama, karaoke crooners, dueling pianos and a wide selection of booze. Located in prime space in downtown Salt Lake, this gay-friendly establishment is non-smoking and has the perfect space for large parties. 2nd Place: The Hotel 3rd Place: The Mynt Lounge

Most Faaabulous Karaoke

Tavernacle Social Club

Most Faaabulous Place to Watch a Game

MoDiggity’s

A grandscale “women’s sports bar,” this is the place to watch just about any sporting event on a number of large screens. Also, Mo and Dig bring in some real musical talent from time to time, and the space is accomodating. 2nd Place: Fiddler’s Elbow 3rd Place: Iggy’s

Most Faaabulous Dance Club

Trapp Door

With a new interior and exterior look, this top-notch hip-hop/rave/techno/pop/pachanga spin table dance club is the place to work your dance moves, as well as your pick-up moves. Hot guys, hot ladies, hot drag queens — whatever your taste, you can find it on the dance floor at Trapp Door. 2nd Place: Gossip 3rd Place: Paper Moon

Most Faaabulous Club to Watch a Live Show

In the Venue

An 18 and over sub-venue of Club Sound has garnered this year’s fabby award. There’s always a unique lineup of local musicians for the music connoisseur, as well as up-and-coming superstars such as Colbie Caillat and Kate Voegel. 2nd Place: The Depot 3rd Place: Paper Moon

The Rest of the FABBYs Most Faaabulous Lube

Gun Oil

Oh my God. Just give it the most faaabulous everything award and call it a day. 2. Wet Platinum/KY Jelly (tie) (By far our funniest category, your choices like Colt, Boy Butter and Stroke 29 had us sniggering like fourth graders. And the wise guys or gals who sent in “Crisco” and “spit” need an award for “most faaabulous at making Michael snort coffee all over his monitor.”)

Most Faaabulous Pick-Up Line

Nice Legs. What time do they open?

The only question is what do you do if they say, “They’re closed for repairs?” 2. You Look Faaabulous (Our personal favorite for blindingly obvious reasons.) 3. Lets play with some balls at Dottie’s mini putt-putt golf course. (Sister Dottie is scandalized, I tell you!)

Most Faaaabulous Q Columnist

Ruth Hackford‑Peer

Ruth’s funny, thoughtful and provocative observations about family life, child-raising and the struggle for gay equality in Utah are the stuff of truly faaabulous writing. Congratulations, Ruth! 2. Michael Aaron 3. Ruby Ridge

Most Faaabulous Story

Buttarsaurus!

Portraying Sen. Chris Buttars as a brontosaurus on our cover? Well, we try our best to tell the truth. 2. A Different Kind of Boy 3. Unfit Parents

Another win for this hip, friendly watering hole. The acoustics are perfect for the talented David Archuletas and David Cooks of karaoke, as well as the no-so-talented Sanjayas and Mariah Careys (she was a toss-off from Season 3, wasn’t she?) 2nd Place: The Trapp and paper Moon 3rd Place: The Woodshed

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Save the Date

Q A&E The Gay Agenda

Major Events of the Community april 17–21 White Party 08, Palm Springs circuitticket.com april 26 Queer Prom “The Origin of Love” utahpridecenter.org

Sexy Crooners come to Zion

may 26–28 RCGSE Coronation, rcgse.org june 6–8 Utah Pride Festival utahpride.org

by Tony Hobday

You may have noticed that we’ve revamped QSaltLake’s look and format a bit in celebration of our 100th issue. Plus, my photo’s been updated so I look less like a chipmunk that’s just been goosed. I’d like to say kudos to Michael Aaron for his tireless efforts in making Q a community success, and here’s to our growth together on the path to the 200th issue.

Friday — The Salt Lake Community College fashion institute presents the eighth annual Raw Couture Fashion Show. Join a dozen student designers as they present their one-of-akind outfits. Decide for yourself who’ll be the next Louis Vittone and Hermes. Let’s just hope there’s no more like John Galliano — what a whack job a gay guy can do to clothes is beyond me. 7:30pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $18, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Saturday — The ever-popular L.A.-based singer-songwriter Sacha Sacket returns to Salt Lake to get all the gay boys in a tizzy over his music and ... well, his sexy charisma. Personally, his face slightly resembles that of Paul Reubens — but he’s definitely a better dark movie theatre hottie! Plus, his sound is fabulous alternative indie soulful loveliness.

8pm doors open and 10pm show, The Woodshed, a private club for members, 60 E. 800 South. Tickets $5 at the door, myspace.com/thewoodshedslc.

MONDAY — If Annie Oakley were around today she’d be the first female sharpshooter for the L.A. SWAT team (she also wouldn’t scream like a little girl every time she shoots a gun like I do). But we can still enjoy the amazing story of her in Hale Centre Theatre’s production of the 1999 Tony award-winning musical Annie Get Your Gun. She takes on Buffalo Bill so this should be a gun-slinging good time. 7:30pm, through May 31, Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive. Tickets $15–25, 984-9000 or halecentretheare.org.

WEDNESDAY — Spy Hop Productions is a not-for-profit youth media arts and educational enrichment center right here in Utah. This is a fabulous organization so I highly recommend going to their Annual Ben-

june 14 HRC Utah Dinner hrcutah.org

efit and Auction. Hosted by Doug Fabrizio, the night features a live performance, film pitches, a collection of their best work, auction, and food and drinks. 6:30pm, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $50/advance–$60/ at door, 532-7500 or spyhop.org.

THURSDAY — If you have the cash, the wheels or wings, and clean white skivvies, then make your way to Palm Springs, Calif. for the White Party Spring Break 2008. Hot men dancing and doing other stuff all weekend long ... oooh la la! Events include an underwear party, Boogie Fever White Party and Extreme T Dance.

Through April 20, Palm Springs, Calif., a sunny desert oasis. Ticket prices vary per event, weekend passes available. 310-360-6100 or circuiticket.com.

FRIDAY — I’m just in awe — Gene and Jesse are celebrating their 10th Anniversary of sharing a heart-shaped bed with leopard-print rubber sheets ... oooh la la! I raise my 3-lb. mug of icy cold beer in your honor. Join the happy couple tonight and dress in your best underoos because this is also an underwear party.

9pm, Club Try-Angles, a private club for members, 251 W. 900 South. Free to members, 364-3203.

Q If you’re too scared to see Gene in nothing but his undies then check out the butchest lesbians dressed ultra feminine at Paper Moon’s Dykes in Drag ... oooh la la! This sight may not burn your corneas! 9pm, Paper Moon, a private club for members, 3737 S. State Street. Tickets $6 at the door, 713-0678.

Q QSaltLake’s own Ruby Ridge, along with Chevy Suburban and Beverly camp it up at the revival of THIRD FRIDAY BINGO at First Baptist Church. Tonight’s event benefits the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. It will be filled with gaming, food, fun and a performance by the choir. Afterwords, you’ll probably find Dennis McCracken at Club Try-Angles in a thong ... oooh la la! 7pm, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. Tickets $5, at the door.

Q The Lambda hiking Club must be ecstatic that it’s spring and they can now

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june 21 Salt Lake Men’s Choir “Hooray For Hollywood” 25th Anniv. Concert saltlakemenschoir.org

do their super fun outdoorsy stuff like the Spring Car Camping Trip. Join the group and head off to the San Rafael Swell. There will be day hikes and the traditional potluck dinner.

Time TBA, through Sunday. To register, call 583-7064 or visit gayhike.org.

SATURDAY — Dubbed “the lesbian social event of the year” by sWerve, Tie One On is your chance to be debonair. Ladies ... lots of ladies ... all in ties. Butches, femmes, lady dykes, lezzies — come one come all, but most importantly, tie one on. The evening includes speed dating, dancing with DJ Jesse Walker, cash bar and prizes for the best tie. 7pm, W Lounge, a private club for members, 358 S. West Temple. Tickets $10 at the door, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org.

Q Slowtrain music store — which garnered second place in Q’s Fabby’s for most faabulous music store — presents Record Store Day. The “little guys” are banding together on one day, nationwide, to flex their indie store muscle. So support your local businesses, like Slowtrain, first! Live music by Brinton Jones, Laserfang and others.

3–9pm, Slowtrain, 221 E. Broadway. Free, 364-2611 or recordstoreday.org.

Q The bitch is back! Bitch is a musical beat poet multi-instrumentalist who uses the electric violin to rock, but also expresses herself on bass guitar, keyboards and ukulele. Renowned as a compelling live performer, Bitch’s provocative and potent voice fueled with her notorious riot girl reputation makes for an unforgettable experience.

9pm, Urban Lounge, a private club for members, 241 S. 500 East. Tickets $8, 24tix.com.

june 26–29 Utah Arts Festival uaf.org july 4 True Colors Tour, USANA Amphitheatre truecolorstour.com july 12 PWACU’s Charity Fashion Show & Silent Auction, pwacu.org august 1–3 The Village Summit utahaids.org august 7–10 PWACU River Trip pwacu.org august8–9 Red Rock Women’s Festival, Torrey redrockwomensfest.com august 10 Q Day at Lagoon august 15–16 PrIdaho — Pocatello, Idaho Pride pridaho.org august 24 Center Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org september 16 Equality Utah Allies Dinner equalityutah.org september 26–27 Southern Utah Pride, Springdale. southernutahpride.org october 10–12 SLC GayBowl VIII mwffl.org october 11 Coming Out Day Breakfast utahpridecenter.org

Email arts@qsaltlake.com for consideratilon to be included in Save the Date.

SUNDAY — The new season begins and team QSaltLake, in their pink jerseys, will kick booty at the first game of the Pride Community Softball League. Come cheer for T-bagger, Bloody Mary, Shortbus and the other talented players of team QSaltLake. The first half of the season will be played at a new location ... in BFE, so get your passport out. 10am–4pm, Valley Complex, 5135 S. 2700 West. Free.

MONDAY — In the Dec. 16 issue of QSaltLake, we ran an interview with John Cameron talking about his new play 14, which chronicles his experiences with Brigham Young University’s 1970s reparative therapy experiments. Salt Lake Acting Company presents a special staged reading of the play tonight. John Cameron is scheduled to appear. 7pm, Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North. Free, 363-0526.

WEDNESDAY — First Sacha Sackett ... now Eric Himan! We Utah gays are being spoiled by the most fabulous ‘out’ performers this month. Himan’s unique voice, community-driven lyrics and upbeat folk/rock sound makes for a worthwhile evening. Join this cutie from Tulsa as he pro-

motes his sixth album, Resonate. Tom Goss opens. 8pm, Cafe Marmalade at Utah Pride Center, 361 N. 300 West. Free, donations accepted, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org.

THURSDAY — RirieWoodbury Dance Company’s Rewind includes three performances. Using poetry and dance, “Night Story” by Della Davidson captures the tension of unrequited love and the fine lines between fantasy and reality. Doug Varone’s “Smash Landscapes,” was created as a comment on the aggressive times in which we live. Taking its inspiration from the anatomical drawings of Renaissance physician Andreas Vesalius, “Anatomies” by Charlotte Boye-Christensen recreates these haunting images physically in a three-dimensional space. 7:30pm, through Saturday, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $30, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

COMING EVENTS Jun. 24 — Ani DiFranco, Las Vegas Jul. 4 — True Colors, USANA

Amphitheatre Jul. 19 — The Police, USANA Amphitheatre Jul. 26 — Eddie Izzard, Las Vegas Nov. 21 — Celine Dion, ES Arena

A Key Stand on the Iraq War

Gay Marine Jeff Key speaks out in The Eyes of Babylon By Tony Hobday

Be forwarned this article may be edged with hostility, but the premise about The Eyes of Babylon is about our (the United States) controversial invasion of Iraq, and the blatant “neglect” and abuse of power by President Bush. It’s difficult and frustrating to think “Operation Iraqi Freedom” has been going on for five years this last March. It’s even more difficult and frustrating to hear true-life experiences from U.S. troops about their tour(s) in Iraq. One such defender of America, U.S. Marine Lance Corporal Jeff Key has taken his journal entries from his time in Iraq and fused them with a personal physical imagery in this one-man play ... or perhaps more appropriately, admonition. The show opens with images of New York City before, during and after the attacks on the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. Seeing those images briefly after six and a half years still erupts dangerously sullen feelings. The next 80 minutes, Key shares verbal snapshots of excerpts from his journals and pays tribute to his fallen comrades. Key doesn’t attempt to shock or play on the bloody horrors of war; he takes a softer, unique approach to war stories. He likely gave much thought to which journal entries would humanize the entire experience. It worked. From anti-climatic

ho-hum days and nights, to little food and hot drinking water ... from sleepless nights and no privacy, to hopeful Iraqi children and sweet-lipped foreign men ... Key is deeply immersed in humanity. Key uses just the right amount of humor to keep some lightness to the evil incarnation of Bush’s ego; his “coming out” to a fellow Marine is simply hilarious. Occasionally, however, it felt as if there was some unnecessary artistic rewrites to the material to change the quality of the show. And Key flutters back and forth across the stage so much that sometimes it’s like watching a tennis match. His story would be just as poignant if he stood stationary on stage sharing truly heartfelt moments from a time and place that ultimately changed this sweet, gentle, fervent man into one with an embittered, but still hopeful, heart. The Eyes of Babylon contains strong language and sexual content. Performances run through April 19 at the Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $25–30, call 355-ARTS or visit arttix.org. To make a donation or learn more about Jeff Key’s Mehadi Foundation, which was founded in part to serve as a support to United States Armed Forces veterans enlisted during Operation Iraqi Freedom who seek help dealing with issues of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, drug and alcohol concerns and other issues.

a pril 10, 20 08 | issue 10 0 | QSa lt L a k e | 27

N AE &WE S

CDiva Minogue X: Pure Pop Bliss By Duane Wells

Utah’s Queer Spirit Retreat to Appear on Logo Network

weekend retreat held by local gay spirituality group Queer Spirit will be featured on the gay cable network Logo as part of a documentary series that follows gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals going through major life changes. Premiering on April 28 this half hour segment of Be Real focuses not on the seasonal spiritual retreat at Wind Walker Ranch in Spring City, Utah, but on a man who traveled several miles — both geographically and spiritually — to participate in it. “For this particular segment we followed [San Diego resident] Steven Romande as he got ready for the retreat and also after the retreat when he went to meet with his conservative Mormon sister and brother-inlaw in an attempt to reach out to them,” said Be Real producer and episode director Sean Kaminski. As Kaminski tells it, he had previously wanted to direct a segment on gay shamanism. In his search for a subject he came across one of the retreat’s co-founders, Salt Lake City therapist Jerry Buie. Along with running a retreat designed to help gay men explore their unique spirituality, Buie regularly pours Sweat Lodges for members of Utah’s gay community. But Buie said he didn’t want the documentary to be about him. Instead he asked Kaminski if he would focus on the journey of a retreat participant. “In general, we thought it’d be better to have someone come in from the outside,” said Kaminski. “Steve was perfect, because he had this issue with his family. He had a lot going on in his life that he was working through.” Romande had previously been in touch with Queer Spirit’s other co-founder, John Cottrell. He said he wanted to do the workshop because it would mainly involve Utah and Idaho men who could understand his Mormon background. “[Kaminski and the film crew] came to San Diego and shot here for about a week and then we went up to Utah and shot at the retreat, which was completely different than I

Participants in the 2007 Fall retreat at WindWalker Ranch thought would be in a really good way,” said Romande, who works primarily as a musician, singer and vocal coach. Before Kaminski could film, Buie made him agree to one term: The producer/director couldn’t just stay behind the camera; he would have to participate in the weekend’s spiritual exercises. Kaminski agreed and did everything the other men did, from the opening bonfire where they established their intentions for the weekend (and where Romande threw in hateful letters he had received from his family) through touch workshops and movement workshops. Kaminski even filmed the men entering and leaving the Sweat Lodge Buie poured — although he did not film inside the lodge out of respect for the sacred space. Although Romande said the idea of being in front of a camera made him a little nervous at first, he soon got used to it. “What’s great about Sean is he wasn’t just a camera walking around,” he said. “He would actually look at you while he’s talking. So if you look his way there are eyes of understanding that are participating. It made us feel like we weren’t being voyeurwatched.” Kaminski said participating in the weekend and making himself just as vulnerable as the other men taught him a lot about his own spirituality. “I loved the sweat lodge,” he said. “[It] was a dark, hot, small space with a large group of men packed inside and I’m mildly claustrophobic. I ended up crammed into the very back in a tiny corner no 6’2” guy should ever be required to contort himself into for two-plus hours. It was a chance to get beyond my fears and ignore the discomfort — which I did — and felt mentally and physically rejuvenated afterward.” The experience left Romande rejuvenated as well. He said that his weekend at Wind Walker Ranch taught him that although much of his Mormon family had alienated him, he had also played a part in driving them

28 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 10 0 | a pril 10, 20 08

out of his life. He truly realized this when he met with his youngest sister and her husband. Romande hadn’t spoken with her, or with any of his family, in several years because of their discomfort with his sexuality. “I think the most shocking thing to me was I thought they [my youngest sister and my brother-in-law] weren’t keeping in touch with me,” he said. “When I told them that, they said, ‘Steve, we always email you and you never email us back!’ I said, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s true!’” The resulting meeting went so well, he said, that even the camera crew wept. “The crew was like, ‘We never cry,’” Romande laughed. “It was a pretty cool ending and I thought it could totally go the other way, but it didn’t. It turned out really wonderful.” “I want to be close to my family and they want to be close to me, maybe we’re reading too much into it. Certainly the religious stuff can scare both of us,” he continued. “We need to train each other. We need to train our families how to love us and they need to train us how to love them without all this, ‘I love you, but I don’t accept who you are because you’re gay or because you’re religious.’” Romande said that he and his family have continued to reconcile. His two oldest brothers have asked to see him and his partner of 13 years. Also Romande has continued to explore the ways in which he had separated himself from others in the past, including other gay men. “I hope I’ll continue to unveil these things that keep me separated from other people and that everybody else will have similar experience of opening up and learning to love each other and not judge each other,” he said. Kaminski had similar hopes. “I think there are a lot of lesbians and gays who have their own fears around dealing with religious family members,” he said. “I hope that the segment inspires others to take a risk and reach out to their families from a non-judgmental place. I also hope that viewers will be intrigued by the workshop — I think there are a lot of gay men who could gain something from leaving urban existence behind for a time and checking out a retreat like Queer Spirit.” Q

On her latest, Kylie Minogue has pulled off one of the greatest feats of her musical career thus far – she has recorded the great pop album many suspected she was always capable of giving birth to. Though she’s had major hits around the globe, many of Minogue’s previous albums have primarily been sugary, dancedriven affairs as light and airy as they come in the context of pop music. However X is anything but. X is a modern pop masterpiece. Working with the likes of the Freemasons and Bloodshy & Avant, the Swedish team behind Britney’s “Toxic”, Minogue has crafted a collection with the potential to not only be the petite Aussie superstar’s biggest selling U.S. album ever but also to garner the kind of attention that has been reserved as of late for domestic pop divas like Gwen Stefani, Fergie and Nelly Furtado. In fact, X is such a consistently satisfying album that it becomes difficult to rank the tracks contained on the collection. The first single “All I See”, which finds Minogue getting a lift from top-selling rapper Mims on the U.S. radio version, is a breezy number poised to have a significant impact on U.S. radio. Reminiscent of a Janet Jackson charttopper, “All I See” is by far Minogue’s most commercial radio-friendly single ever. Similarly, the blippy “Heart Beat Rock” is as catchy a single as any Minogue has recorded heretofore. Meanwhile, the New Wave sound of “The One,” the kaleidoscope-like, trippy journey that is “No More Rain,” and the synth-driven ‘80s flavored “Wow” explore the many sides of the increasingly chameleonlike Miss Minogue. Elsewhere on the disc, “Stars” is one of the disc’s most luminous tracks while the track “Nudi-ty”, with its bleeps, vocal manipulations and driving beats is a track worthy of modern hitmakers Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. “Cosmic,” the arresting ballad that closes X, is an infectious track on which Minogue’s pure unsullied vocals soar. It’s rare to hear a pop album these days that makes you want more, but Kylie Minogue does just that on her tenth studio album, X, a recording that leaves listeners on a musical high from which it’s hard to come down.

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Q Puzzle

P-ness Envy Letter “p” is added to phrases to change meaning

Across 1 Advocate cover, often 6 Overture to a split end? 10 Like sex with a dam 14 Maria’s “do” equivalent 15 Geoffrey of Frida 16 Heartbreaker for a big, hairy male 17 Aide to Mark Foley? 20 Marilyn Monroe’s two big ones 21 The bottom line 22 A man’s man, and others 23 Pull a fast one 24 Take off your clothes 25 What a cowboy shoots off 28 Show bottom 29 Sex, crudely 32 Plath poetry collection 33 One in bondage 34 And others, for Caesar 35 Six Feet Under as a sitcom? 38 Cock attachment 39 Avoids family cooking, with “out” 40 Scarlett O’Hara, e.g. 41 Second pitches for Copland 42 What a computer may spit out 43 De-Lovely subject Cole 44 Opera solos

45 “In the ___” (Village People hit) 46 Hello at Beth Simchat Torah 49 Tops 50 Threesome for Caligula 53 Gasps during a blow job? 56 River of da Vinci’s land 57 Sweet opening? 58 Uranian, for example 59 Goes out with 60 “Leave that alone!” at the Washington Blade 61 Like bell-bottom jeans Down 1 Superman accessory 2 Wax-covered balls from Holland 3 Staying power, in Variety 4 Shrek’s shoe size, perhaps 5 Vegetable with a head 6 Rainbow maker 7 Em, e.g. 8 IRS info 9 “Beat it!” 10 Peachy but not fruity 11 Minnesota governor Carlson 12 It may be cold and hard 13 Bette Davis feature of song 18 Offspring of a stallion 19 Columnist Herb 23 Arrow shaft

24 Sweaters at a sauna 25 Dallas Voice, for example 26 Like an ACT UP protester 27 River deposits 28 Fire director Deepa 29 Not erect 30 Rimbaud’s room 31 More like the Family Stone 33 Chat room request 34 What 36-Down may use on her nails 36 Drag queen? 37 Better than average, except in Sheehan’s sport 42 The Almighty, to Arenas 43 Material for Philip Johnson’s Glass House 44 Chorus butches 45 Defensively successful, in Glenn Burke’s sport 46 Sites for three women in a tub 47 Bugs Bunny’s Broadway musical? 48 Hathaway of The Devil Wears Prada 49 Where not to look, in a Melissa Etheridge song 50 Pt. of B.D. Wong 51 Caligula’s way 52 “There ___ there there” (Gertrude Stein) 54 Where to find gay. com

Cryptogram A Cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This week’s hint: Q = N Theme: Publisher Michael Aaron’s thought on the 100th issue of QSaltLake.

Nbqfmzfen djjbz? D enubyne endj xgj ubm nbqfmzfen gqqdizmjgmt. _________ _____? _ _______ ____ ___ ___ ________ ___________. PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ARE ON PAGE 35

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SEEKING GAY roommate to share a 3 bdrm house. You would have your own bedroom with free wireless internet and cable TV. Gas & Electricity are NOT included. Call 654-4286 after 6pm and ask for Karl or email sekondgoaround@ hotmail.com $600 HISTORIC 1928 Mansion: utils, laundry, DSL & dish included. Share 6500 sq. ft of a 1920s mansion with a couple great liberal roommates (please be gay friendly and non-smoking). Rent includes: All utilities, use of large high definition flat screen with HBO and Showtime stations among others, high speed wireless internet, great front-load laundry facilities and a spacious 14’x14’ bedroom with giant windows. Available immediately. Contact Mark: (801)918-7794 $495 HOLLADAY home w/pool (1680 E Fieldcrest Ln) All utilities paid, Cable and internet included. Garage space available for additional $50 per month. Non-Smoking, must be pet friendly (I have a small dog that loves to love people). Very private spacious home with a great yard and pool to relax in. Male/female doesn’t matter. Must be gay friendly. Please call 801-414-7303

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couple of the ward members offered to shuttle me back to Friendswood, the mission headquarters. At the transfer meeting, new missionaries were arriving; others were there to meet new companions and move to their next area. Old ones, like me, were exiting. It was a day I’d both longed for and dreaded for 24 months. Here it was. One last testimony meeting. One last opportunity to address a crowd as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Elder Flake and Elder Kerns, friends from the MTC a lifetime before, were there for the last time as well. Kerns’ parents had flown in to meet his converts and take their son home in glory. I was a bundle of emotions. Of course it was a relief to be done. It had been wrenching, soul-busting work. I had served my heart out. I had honestly done my best. But I was also filled with dismay, knowing that

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my best hadn’t been enough. Not enough ... How can it be over? How can it be done? How can I still be the same, filthy wretch I was two years ago? I stood at the pulpit and looked over the crowd. My mission president gave me a smirky smile that seemed to say, “I know you’re a fake, Elder Dallin — I know your secrets.” Gathering my strength, I began: “I want to bear my final testimony as a missionary for the Lord’s True Church.” I’d done this so many times. So many times. “I know this is the work of the Lord. I want to welcome the new missionaries to the best mission in the world. I testify to you that you will touch the hearts of the elect of God. You’ll bring souls back home to the Lord.” I started to cry. “Please remember, elders and sisters, that the time flies. Whatever you do, don’t waste a single moment of this precious service. You’ll remember it for the rest of eternity.” I envied the new missionaries. They had so much potential. So many blessings to reap. Please, please do a better job than me, I felt like pleading. Please, don’t fail your Heavenly Father like I did. “In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.” The crowd rumbled a response, “Amen.” That was it. My time as a missionary was over. My brain felt fried. In a blur, I watched the scenes of passing neighborhoods and traffic out the van window, bidding goodbye to Texas as the assistants to the president drove us to the airport. We checked our luggage and made our way to the terminal. My heart sat like lead. Maybe this is how all missionaries feel when their sacred service is over, I wanted to believe. I’m a failure. All that work I did, no matter how much I tried ... God hasn’t accepted my service. I’m still cursed. I’m such a disappointment. How can I face my family? Just then, Elder Flake nudged me with a giggle and pointed to the right. I later recorded in my journal the shocking sight: At the Hobby Airport, June 19, 1996, were two of them. Without a care in the world at the crowd surrounding them, they kissed and effeminately embraced. They sat with legs crossed, and spoke with loud, raspy voices laced thickly with the “queer lisp.” They probably still stand in my mind as the two foulest people I’ve ever seen. I was only too happy to board the plane and leave that confronting scene behind. I took my seat by the window. Ever a representative of the Kingdom, Elder Stuart

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3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 10 0 | a pril 10, 20 08

spoke to the guy next to him about the church. I couldn’t bear another second of it. I put my headphones on and stared at the clouds, listening to music I’d forbidden myself for the last two years, wondering what it was going to be like to walk through the breezeway into the airport with my family — and with Emily — there waiting. The plane landed and began taxiing. My heart pumped molten lava through my body. I looked at Elder Stuart. He was glowing. Excited. Content. I coveted his levity. I pretended I felt the same way. We shuffled up the ramp and out the gate. I scanned the crowd for my family. Suddenly, eyes flashing, was my mom, dashing for me. “Joseph!” she hollered, grabbing me in her arms. I held her tight. My sweet mom. My wonderful mother who for the last two years had supported me, prayed for me, written me, sent packages, who would have done anything for me ... now I could thank her in person. I could tell her, to her face, how much I loved and appreciated her. But first, we just embraced. For a good 60 seconds, passengers waited for us to get out of the way. “Sorry, but I’m a mother!” she shouted to the crowd scooting by. I took my turn with each of the other family members waiting to welcome me back from my holy quest. My dad beamed with pride in his son. My sisters smiled in admiration. I couldn’t believe how my little brothers had grown. They were all so excited, so happy. They each looked at me intently, as though searching for some newly gained glimmer of enlightenment in my eyes. I was a hero. I was home. I was loved. I was a fraud. There too, grinning from ear to ear, was the sweet girl who had also waited two years for this moment. Emily had dieted, gotten her hair done, bought new clothes — all in preparation to see me again. As she embraced me, I tried to ignore the voice in my head: You’re nothing but a worthless homosexual. You’re not good enough for this daughter of Zion. I forced a smile, but began to cry. The tension was at boiling point. I’m sure they all thought they were tears of joy. Q

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