QSaltLake Magazine - 133 - July 23, 2009

Staff Box publisher/editor

Michael Aaron assistant editor

In This Issue

JoSelle Vanderhooft arts & entertainment editor

ISSUE 133 • July 23, 2009

Utah Rebellion. . . 20

Queer Gnosis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

News

Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

Bear Ruckus. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Local. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Views From the Editor

4

Guest Editorial. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Snaps & Slaps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

Creep of Week 17 Lambda Lore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Gay Geeks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

Tony Hobday

A&E

Gay Agenda . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Dining Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Crossword Puzzle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Comics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Cryptogram . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Qdoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Anagram. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Petunia Pap-Smear. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Puzzle Answers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

graphic designer

Christian Allred contributors

Lynn Beltran Brad Di Iorio Ruth Hackford-Peer Ryan Shattuck Troy Williams Petunia Pap-Smear

Joseph Dewey Anthony Paull Ruby Ridge Ben Williams Rex Wockner

contributing photographers

David Daniels Laurie Kaufman

Brian Gordon David Newkirk

sales manager

Brad Di Iorio office manager

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I received the RE/MAX Executive Club Award in 2006

ASSOCIATES

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TheQPages 2009 is on the streets!

Pick it up to find all the gay- and lesbian-friendly businesses in the valley! Available at over 200 locations across the Wasatch Front And at TheQPages.com!

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From the Editor Times Change

By Michael Aaron

I

i went to Bear Lake that I had to have raspberry ice cream at the Hometown Drive-in. But times change as realities in the world change, and to avoid gastric distress, I now opt for raspberry margaritas. Well, who said change can’t be for the better?

Tony Hobday and I visited Bear Lake during our trip to the Utah Festival Opera in Logan when this beginning of a new tradition happened. At the festival, we attended two of what the company’s director, Michael Ballam, calls “Informances,” where he answers questions from audience members prior to a show and sometimes breaks into song.

I learned at one of those informances that opera came from the necessity of being heard in large spaces. Before the advent of microphone headsets, shows with a lot of dialog could only be played in small venues because the human voice couldn’t be heard in the back rows of larger theaters. Only by singing could a voice fill a large hall or, worse, an amphitheatre.

I’ve recently noticed another change borne of necessity: a change in social activism and who controls today’s message.

Back in the infancy of the gay movement, or any movement for that matter, it was leaders who created organizations who created consensus and “represented” a community. Good leaders could attract a large number of followers, who would then attract or become more leaders and, wham, you’ve filled your organizational chart.

This model is still used to this day, but times, they are a changin’. Today, when events happen like an assault or a bad vote or guys being taken to the ground for kissing, it’s not our organizations that are the ones to respond.

It’s people. People on Facebook. People with fingers small enough to text on cell phones. Just people.

These people have something that once had a tradition when

organizations can’t — flexibility to move in an instant. For an organization to decide to hold a rally, they must first have the idea. Then they call a meeting. They argue the pros and cons.

They plan how to pull off the rally and assign who will do the tasks involved.

They create talking points for the rally.

They call other organizations to invite them to participate in the rally — organizations which then must go through the same procedures Organization A performed. In short, they are bureaucracies mired in tape of all colors.

But the power of social sites and text messages is immediate and grand. Jacob Whipple pulled off a march of 5,000 people around Temple Square in a few days. Friends of Matt Aune and Derek Jones have pulled off three protests on Main Street Plaza since we last went to press.

All it takes is a person with an idea able to encourage others that the idea is good and worth their Sunday morning.

Permits-be-damned, message-be-damned, talking-points-bedamned.

The question that needs to be asked now is: is this necessarily good? Is kneejerk activism the future we want and need? Was invading the church’s private property with tongues down each others’ throats what Utah housewives needed to see to encourage them to see “our side?” Was progress made?

On the other hand, are organizations with heavy organizational charts working for us? Did they fumble Prop 8 with their inability to change or move quickly enough when polls began to plummet in the final weeks? And what about the voids left unfilled, like antiviolence projects or services for seniors or homeless youth?

Times change as reality changes.

I think we’ll find that eActivism will change the way organizations do business. That or they may go the way of raspberry ice cream. Q

to avoid gastric distress, I now opt for raspberry margaritas

4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 5

By Rex Wockner

Quips & Quotes

Javier Zamora / Daily Lobo

Q World Senate Approves Hate-Crimes Measure

The U.S. Senate approved a bill July 16 to add sexual orientation, gender identity and other categories to federal hatecrimes protections.

The measure, which passed on a voice vote, was attached to a defense-spending bill. A move to remove it from that bill failed 63-28. The defense-spending bill passed July 20 with the hate crime amendment intact. It now goes to the president’s desk for his promised signature.

“More than 60 senators support the Matthew Shepard Act, legislation that will provide police and sheriffs’ departments with the tools and resources they need to ensure that entire communities are not terrorized by hate violence,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese.

Utah Senators Orrin Hatch and Bob Bennett voted against the bill.

Episcopal Church OKs Gay Clergy, Bishops

The Episcopal Church’s House of Bishops and House of Deputies declared in mid-July that open gays and lesbians — celibate or not — can serve as priests and bishops in the church.

At the church’s triennial general convention, held in Anaheim, Calif., July 8–17, bishops voted for the policy 99–45 and deputies voted for it 155–40. Deputies who are clergy voted 77–19 and lay deputies voted 78–21.

The move may well lead to a full rupture between the Episcopal Church and the worldwide Anglican Communion, which has been deeply mired in gay angst since the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire consecrated openly gay and partnered V. Gene Robinson as its bishop in 2003. The Episcopal Church is the U.S. branch of Anglicanism.

The Anaheim move was seen as, in essence, a flip-off by the Americans of the Anglican hierarchy and Anglican provinces in Africa and South America that strongly opposed Robinson’s consecration.

De facto international Anglican leader Rowan Williams, archbishop of Canterbury, England, had urged delegates to the U.S. convention not to make any “decisions in the coming days that could push us further apart.” He later said he regretted that the convention had done just that with its gay-clergy decision.

Delegates also voted to allow local dioceses to bless same-sex marriages and civil unions if they want to, and launched a project to create official liturgies for the blessings.

❝ ❝I’ve been to Paris, and in Paris gays openly hold hands

Bill Clinton Now Supports Same-sex Marriage Bill Clinton, who as president signed the anti-gay Defense of Marriage Act into law, now supports same-sex marriage, thenation.com reported July 14.

“I’m basically in support,” Clinton reportedly said July 8 after speaking at the Campus Progress National Conference in Washington, D.C. “I think all these states that do it should do it,” he said. “I personally support people doing what they want to do.

I think it’s wrong for someone to stop someone else from doing that.”

DOMA prevents the federal government from recognizing married gay couples as married and allows states to refuse to recognize other states’ samesex marriages.

President Barack Obama repeatedly has vowed to see that DOMA is repealed, but has taken no steps to launch the process.

Six states — Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine — have legalized same-sex marriage, while 30 states have amended their constitutions to ban it. In addition, New York and Washington, D.C., recognize the marriages of gay couples who have married elsewhere.

The new same-sex marriage laws in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine have not yet come into force.

Same-sex marriage also is legal in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and Sweden.

probable cause or reasonable suspiHead of Texas Beverage not cion or some public safety matter to be inspected.”

Comm. Says Bar Raid Was a Big Mistake D.C. Recognizes Out-ofThe head of the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission told the gay newspaper Dallas Voice on July 16 that his officers committed multiple “clear violations” of agency policy when they and local police raided the gay bar Rainbow Lounge in Fort Worth on June 28, the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.

The violent raid put patron Chad Gibson in a hospital intensive-care unit with bleeding on his brain. Two other patrons sustained lesser injuries and several patrons were arrested for the crime of having drunk too much.

“I don’t think you have to dig very deep to figure out that TABC has violated some of their policies,” Alan Steen said. “We know that and I apologize for that. ... It’s real clear that however it is that we were doing business that night is not the typical TABC.” “You can read (our) policy and you can figure out really quickly, TABC shouldn’t have even been there,” he said. “If our guys would have followed the damn policy, we wouldn’t even have been there. ... We don’t participate in those kinds of inspections when there’s

6 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

State Gay Marriages

The District of Columbia began recognizing same-sex marriages from elsewhere on July 7.

Gay couples can marry in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain and Sweden. They also will be able to marry in the next two to five months in Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont.

“To have our legal marriages recognized and defended as a matter of human rights in our nation’s capital sets a new threshold for other jurisdictions,” said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

“For myself and for the other countless same-sex married couples residing in the District of Columbia, this marks a new day for all of us.”

A proposed voter referendum to repeal the new D.C. law was rejected in court on the grounds that denying legal equality to same-sex couples would violate the district’s Human Rights Act.

and peck each other on the cheek and no one seems to mind in that city of love. I guess when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints promised that its Main Street Plaza would host a ‘little bit of Paris’ it meant Paris, Idaho.”

—Charleston resident Henry Denton criticizing the LDS Church’s detainment of a kissing gay couple on Main St. Plaza in the Salt Lake Tribune.

❝ ❝ The security guards say they did not slam Aune or

Jones to the ground. But, uh, the private security force handcuffed them?

For alleged trespassing, the church claims, and not because they are homophobic. Which even the cops intimate is bullshit.”

—Prominent gay blog Qweerty sounding off about the plaza case.

❝ ❝ What’s more, every news report about the incident

makes clear that it was a kiss on the cheek or a peck, except the Deseret News, which is much less clear about what Aune and Jones were actually doing. The Deseret News description of events is also sparse on details about how many security guards outnumbered the couple and the physical force used by officers to detain the couple. … [T]he Deseret News has been widely criticized — even by its own reporters — for not giving accurate and fair accounts of LGBT issues.”

—Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation Media Field Strategist (and former Utahn) Adam Bass.

❝ ❝ And I hope they were big — sloppy — wet tongue

kisses too.”

—Gay Calif. blogger Peachy Keenum posting about the incident.

❝ ❝ Because I have as much right to live here as they

do. Because if we let them chase us off to ‘safe’ states like California, then kids growing up LGBT is Utah have NOBODY looking out for them.”

—Utahn Todd Bennett telling commenters at lesbian blog Pam’s House Blend why he continues to live in Utah.

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 7

Utah

The Kiss Heard ’Round the World

As a couple walked home from the Gallivan Center following the guitar-strains of Bon Iver and the crooning of Jenny Lewis, they made their way through the Main Street Plaza, like they had many times before since they live just to the north. They were talking; they paused; one put his arm around the other and kissed him on the cheek.

That is the story that Matt Aune and Derek Jones said rendered them cuffed, put to the ground and cited for trespassing.

It’s also the story plaza security officers gave the Salt Lake City Police Department, according to the responding officers’ report.

As time passed, however, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the owner of the plaza, issued two statements over the incident with escalating descriptions of what they say happened that Thursday night.

Derek Jones’ Account

Jones said he and boyfriend Aune were holding hands, walking through the plaza from the Gallivan Center since it was a direct path to their home.

“Matt paused to say something to me and hugged and kissed me,” he said.

He said then that “several LDS Church security guards came up to us and asked us to leave because we were being inappropriate.”

“Matt moved in closer to me and put his arm around me and asked the security guards, loudly, ‘What are we doing wrong?’ We were obviously annoyed that they singled us out, especially since we were just passing through and not spending considerable time there.

And there were no other people on the easement that we could see.”

Jones was under the impression at the time that the easement that existed after the church bought the property in 1998 was still in place. Then-Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson penned an agreement in 2003, after five years of contention that was dividing the community, exchanging the easement for property to expand the west-side Sorenson Unity Center.

“At this point they said that they wanted us to leave because of the public display of affection and that they do not

allow any sort of public displays of affection on the easement, whatsoever,” Jones continued. “This especially irked us because, having walked through on a frequent basis, there are either marriage ceremonies going on, young Mormon couples cuddling in front the fountain, hugging, holding hands, etc.”

Jones estimated that a total of 10 security guards responded after they began arguing.

“One of the security guards then got in Matt’s face and expressed very forcefully that ‘we don’t come to your house and make out on your property,’” Jones said.

Jones said the guards then split them up, forced him to the ground on his stomach and ground his face into the cement to handcuff him. They removed everything from his pockets.

“They did the same to Matt, although he resisted, not violently, and they weren’t able to get him on the ground because he’s a big guy and it took four or five of their guys to get him handcuffed,” Jones said. “Matt remembered asking ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this?’ Then Matt launched into them verbally, telling them that they were hypocrites and did not have the authority to be arresting us.”

“Neither of us are violent people,” Jones continued. “We were just trying to get them to have a civil conversation with us about the real reasons they wanted us to leave. Matt then asked if what they were doing was legal. The security guards tried to claim that they were the cops. One of them even pulled out a fake badge and said he used to be a cop.”

Salt Lake City police officers responded and walked the pair off the plaza, removed their handcuffs and cited them for trespassing.

Church’s First Statement

In the church’s first statement, spokeswoman Kim Farah said the two were not singled out for being gay, but were “asked to stop engaging in inappropriate behavior just as any other couple would have been.”

The church’s statement set Facebook ablaze with calls for staged kiss-ins. No less than three have happened since the incident. The story went nationwide, paired with an El Paso, Texas, incident where two men were ejected from a fast food restaurant for a similar kiss.

Kiss-Ins

On Saturday night, July 11, an action was quickly organized by University of Utah student Alec Gherke. He and 14 friends donned pink triangles and armbands, and walked through the plaza handcuffed, singing LDS hymns and primary songs. They were met by church security on their second time through and told to leave or be arrested.

Former Salt Lake City Councilperson Deeda Seed organized a larger action for Sunday, July 12 at 9 a.m. Hundreds of protesters joined over the next two hours and kissed on the public sidewalk outside the plaza. A group of protesters broke from the group and entered the

8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

plaza and kissed. Church security met the protesters and escorted them to waiting Salt Lake City police officers, who asked the group to respect the church’s wishes to stay off its property.

No arrests were made.

Church’s Second Statement

The church released a second statement Friday, July 17 saying that Aune and Jones were lying when they said they were stopped for a simple hug and kiss.

“There was much more involved than a simple kiss on the cheek. They engaged in passionate kissing, groping, profane and lewd language, and had obviously been using alcohol,” said the statement. “They were politely told that the Plaza was not the place for such behavior and asked to stop. When they became belligerent, the two individuals were asked to leave Church property.

Church security detained them and Salt Lake City police were called.”

Aune and Jones admit they drank while at the Twilight Series concert.

“The Mormon Church chooses their words very carefully. To say that someone ‘uses alcohol’ is an attempt to paint us in the same light as drug ‘users,’” Aune said.

He also admitted to the profanity.

“Yes, of course we swore at them,” he said. “I looked over and saw my 120-pound partner of over five years taken to the ground and handcuffed by someone three times his size, and not a member of the police, for doing nothing more than questioning why they approached us. I swore left, right and center, but that’s not illegal either.”

Aune disputed the statement by saying, “I guess they consider hugging groping.”

“The bottom line is: we weren’t doing anything inappropriate or wrong. More than likely, Mormon Church security guards saw us and decided it’d be fun to harass the gays because no one was around and they didn’t think we’d stand up to them. If there had been bystanders, it would have been more difficult to make the claim we were ‘groping and making out.’ Otherwise it would have been clear to others that we were doing nothing of the sort. Perhaps the Mormon Church considers a hug a grope, and a kiss pornographic. We feel sorry for the Mormon Church that they are so narrow in what they consider to be a loving expression,” Aune said.

Yet Another Kiss-in

Another kiss-in was called by JJ Clark on his Facebook account for the following Sunday at noon. Called a “Silent Kissing Protest,” participants were to meet near the plaza, and at 12:15 “enter the easement and do what comes natural — KISS!” Clark wrote on the Facebook event page.

Silent, however, it was not. Family members making up the anti-gay group, America Forever, were there with sixfoot placards that read “Gays, this is a private religious property ... Keep Out,” drawing heated debates between the two sides.

Family patriarch J.M.R. Filho called the gay-friendly protesters “victims of a campaign. You are being used by the HRC (Human Rights Campaign). You are being brainwashed by a con act.”

A man on roller blades skated by America Forever founder Sandra Rodrigues, kissed her and skated off.

Rodrigues’ family called police and demanded they file a report of her “assault.”

“Somebody just attacked me,” Rodrigues said. “He hurt my shoulder and he kissed me and he jumped on me.”

Two protesters — a straight couple — chained themselves to metal barriers in a show of support for gay and lesbian couples to show affection in public.

Derek Jones and Matt Aune

Few church security officers were present throughout the demonstration, though SLCPD officers were on-hand.

Again, no arrests were made.

Prosecution Still Unclear

Salt Lake City Prosecutor Sim Gill said he is waiting for additional information from police and the church and to learn whether any video cameras recorded the episode.

An arraignment hearing is scheduled for July 23, but Gill says that hearing may be continued to give time for his office to collect further data from the church.

“My office is very seriously looking into the case and making sure we have all the data,” Gill said. “We want to make sure that charges are warranted before we make a decision to prosecute.”

According to court records, Aune and Jones have already pleaded “not guilty” and requested a jury trial.

Gay Family

Jone and Aune still find living in Utah a positive thing.

“The gay and lesbian community, along with its partners and allies, constitute a family and support structure that is hard to find in other places. It makes being gay and living in the shadow of the Mormon Church not only tolerable, but enjoyable. There exists a family we both feel very privileged to be a part of. Thanks to everyone for your support. We are truly humbled and in your debt,” they said.

Photos of the kiss-ins are in the QScene section of this issue, page 36.

Northern Utah to Hold Ninth Annual AIDS Walk come out here and show off, and it takes them no time to do it. And you have some folks that bring the dogs and just leisure walk.� For those who do want to run the 5K, prizes are awarded for first, second and third place male and female runners. During and after the walk, participants may also enjoy water, juice and some light snacks to keep up their energy.

For the past five years, the walk has been co-sponsored by the Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah, a charitable organization of drag performers that operates along the same system as the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire in Salt Lake City. “It really is a nice group to work with,� said McClellan.

The project also receives support from the OUTreach Center, a project run for Ogden’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth.

The walk will be held at Ogden’s Lorin Farr Park, 1691 Gramercy Ave., on Aug. 1. Registration will begin at 7:30 a.m. and the walk will start at 8 a.m. Participants who register by July 24 will receive a T-shirt, and children under age 12 walk for free. To sign up call (801) 393-4153.

The HIV/AIDS project also offers free HIV testing at its offices each Tuesday from noon to 5 p.m.. In partnership with Planned Parenthood of Utah it offers gonorrhea, chlamydia and hepatitis C tests Monday through Thursday from 9 a.m. to noon. These tests are also free.

For more information about the project, call Sarah McClellan at (801) 393-4153 or email her at nuc536@comcast.net.

SLC Human Rights Comm.

Reports Anti-Gay Bias The Office of Diversity & Human Rights of the Salt Lake City Mayor’s Office has released a Discrimination Report that cites general discrimination themes and enumerates some actual cases of bias based on several factors.

Some stories in the report: • In early high school, man was placed in trash can by some football team members. He thought it was because he was small but was later told it was because he was gay. • Fear for physical safety of LGBT community when they are out in public with partner. • One LGBT individual has experienced extreme emotional difficulty in coming out to family. For some being closeted is best option (12/11) • Young male came out in latter part of high school — parents and other family members disowned him. Taken in by friend’s family and stayed until he completed high school.

Full report available at qsaltlake.com July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 9

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FRU IT AN D VEG ETABLE PRINTS

T RAC I O’ V E RY COV EY

Utahns from Northern Utah and all other cities are invited to tie up their walking shoes and join the Northern Utah Coalition, Inc.’s ninth annual Steppin’ For Life, a 5K walk to benefit the coalition’s HIV/AIDS Project. “Folks kind of forget about us up here, but we have folks with AIDS/HIV up here,� said Sarah McClellan, the coalition’s HIV/AIDS project director. “I guess out of sight, out of mind.�

McClellan has served as the project’s director ever since its beginning 13 years ago. The reason for the project’s founding, she said, was to help Ogdenites with HIV/AIDS get assistance with medication or medical care that Ryan White CARE Act funding — the federal money given to uninsured or underinsured people with HIV/AIDS — didn’t cover, as well as more than the 10 bus tokens the program gives enrollees each month. Ogdenite PWAs needed more tokens, McClellan explained, in order to make medical appointments in Salt Lake City and shop for groceries, since many of them do not own cars. “In Ogden and Northern Utah we don’t have a lot of services, and it probably has to do with the population,�

McClellan explained. “The further north you go, the less liberal people are, or they’re not as embracing.�

Much like the Utah AIDS Foundation based in Salt Lake City, the coalition, which has offices at 536 24th St., Ste. 2B, also maintains a limited food bank stocked with emergency canned and perishable food for people with HIV/ AIDS who are on special diets due to conditions like diabetes or high blood pressure. It also gives referrals to the Utah AIDS Foundation or the University of Utah’s Clinic 1A, which McClellan noted can be particularly useful for people who have just recently moved to Ogden and don’t know what services they can access. “And also, we wanted to make the community aware of HIV when we got started, and we continue to do that because there’s still a need for it,� said McClellan. “People got kind of passive and not concerned [about HIV/AIDS] because they thought it had gone away, or something else had taken its place.�

The Steppin’ For Life walk is designed not only to raise money but to raise awareness that HIV/AIDS is still out there, despite treatment advances in the nearly 30 years since its first diagnosis. The suggested donation for entering the walk/run is $20, but McClellan urged people to come out to the scenic trail in Ogden’s Lorin Farr Park whether or not they have the money.

Dogs on leashes are allowed, too, as are walkers and runners of all skill levels. “Some folks run it in 30 minutes,� said McClellan. “You have the runners

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Utah Brandie Balken Named Interim Director of Equality Utah There’s a new face at the helm of Equality Utah. This month Brandie Balken joined the staff of four as the statewide gay and transgender rights group’s interim director. She wi l l h o l d the position until further notice, and at least through the end of August.

A former board member of the Utah Pride Center, Brandie Balken Equality Utah and sWerve, Utah’s lesbian civic and social group, Balken served as the co-chair of Equality Utah’s 2008 Allies Dinner, an annual gala honoring gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Utahns and their straight allies. As she tells it, Equality Utah’s board members are still conducting interviews for the position and recently decided that they should appoint an interim director as they continued their search for a qualified, permanent candidate. When board chair Stephanie Pappas asked Balken if she was up for the job, Balken said she was thrilled.

“Equality Utah is an incredibly important organization to me,” she said. “The work they’re doing is incredibly important and I feel like it’s an honor I’m being asked to serve in this capacity. I [am] incredibly lucky to work for a company that is going to allow me to take a hiatus and will accept me back. I acknowledge that a lot of people wouldn’t have that opportunity, so I feel particularly grateful.”

Although the general legislative session has ended, and Capitol Hill’s summer session is usually fairly quiet when it comes to bills about gay and transgender rights, Balken has nonetheless joined the organization at a crucial point.

“We’re going into an incredibly busy time,” she said, noting that Equality Utah is not only beginning endorsement interviews for 2010 candidates, but also kicking off phone banks and town hall meetings in support of its Common Ground Initiative. The initiative began earlier this year as a set of four bills

aimed at securing such rights for gay and transgender Utahns as housing and workplace nondiscrimination, probate and inheritance rights. When all four bills were either voluntarily withdrawn by sponsors or defeated in committee hearings, the initiative shifted into a broader effort to secure such protections at municipal levels — and to make more Utahns aware of the fact that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people have few legal protections in the state.

“We were very ambitious last [session],” said Balken. “We rolled them [the points of the initiative] all out as bills and we learned a lot. ... One of the main things we learned is that there’s more education that must be done.” She emphasized, however, that Equality Utah wasn’t abandoning the idea of achieving change on the state level.

“Some bills will be run, some will be educational campaigns, and some will be grass roots campaigns,” she said of the Common Ground Initiative’s many different parts.

To gage community support and to further educate Utahns about the initiative, Equality Utah has held several town hall meetings throughout July in cities such as Taylorsville, Sandy and West Valley City. Meetings are also scheduled to be held in Park City and Ogden on July 23 and 28, respectively. The meetings, Balken added, are also serving as ways to get people involved in supporting the Common Ground Initiative by canvassing their neighborhoods, throwing house parties, and talking to their friends, family and co-workers about the initiative.

The phone banks, she added, are doing much the same thing — reaching out to municipalities to discuss the Common Ground Initiative.

Additionally, Equality Utah’s staff and board members are interviewing 2010 candidates for state and municipal offices and current elected officials planning to run again to determine who will receive their endorsements in the coming mid-term election. In 2008, Balken said that the group targeted races in 90 Utah districts. In the coming year, that number has increased to 120 districts, and the number of candidates they are soliciting has risen by 30 percent.

“Which is pretty ambitious, but we’re really excited,” she said. “Equality Utah has had a strong presence in Salt Lake City, but now we’re reaching out to a lot of different districts and races,” particularly in cities where town hall meetings are being held.

Along with interviews and town hall meetings, Balken and her colleagues are also preparing for this year’s Allies Dinner, which will be held Aug. 19 at the Salt Palace. The evening’s keynote speaker will be Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, who made history in 2003 when the New Hampshire diocese elected him as Anglicanism’s first openly gay and partnered bishop. His election caused a rift in the worldwide Anglican communion and lead, in part, to a motion at this year’s Episcopal General Convention to allow individual diocese to elect gay and

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

lesbian bishops. Utah’s delegation has supported this motion.

“We’re so excited about that,” Balken said of Robinson’s appearance. “It’s beautiful to have a representative of faith at the dinner this year. Being a person of faith doesn’t mean you don’t care about LGBT rights.”

Balken said Equality Utah is anticipating 1,500 guests, ostensibly the highest attendance in the dinner’s eight year history.

“It really is a dinner for the entire community,” said Balken. “Families and allies are encouraged to come. This is an evening where you can be present with many other fair-minded Utahns who support LGBT equality. It’s an evening that feels very much like community building. We want it to be inspirational and empowering and have people leave feeling like they have worked to create a more fair and just Utah.”

Even though Equality Utah is busier now than ever, Balken encouraged concerned Utahns to call or e-mail her at brandie@equalityutah.org with any questions, concerns or ideas on how the organization can proceed with its work.

“My phone is open, my e-mail is open, our door is open, and I welcome questions and dialogue because that’s how we’re going to build a more successful community movement,” she said.

Group Plans ‘Kissin’ at San Diego Mormon Temple The Empowering Spirits Foundation will hold what they are calling the Love Unites Kiss-In outside the San Diego California Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in protest of the recent detainment of Derek Jones and Matthew Aune in Salt Lake City.

The event is scheduled for Wednesday, July 22.

“This is to be a peaceful rally to encourage dialogue between LDS officials and those seeking equal rights,” the group said in a statement. “Love unites, and we will join together to not only display our endless support for equality, but for those with differing opinions, including the LDS Church. We’ve also invited San Diego Mormon officials to engage in dialogue with us through this letter.”

The group is calling for a respectful tone to the protest, including refraining from any profanity nor bringing signs that demean any religious organization, including the LDS Church.

“We ask that supporters paint red hearts on their cheeks, foreheads, or wear paper hearts on your clothing,” the statement continued.

“Though we strongly disagree with the LDS Church’s stance on LGBT issues, this is a time for us to come together and engage in respectful dialogue,” said A. Latham Staples, ESF executive director.

Q mmunity Allies Dinner Statewide gay and transgenderrights group Equality Utah’s annual Allies Dinner will be held in August.

This year’s guest speaker will be Gene Robinson, Bishop of New Hampshire’s Episcopal Diocese and the first openly gay man ordained as a bishop in a major Christian denomination. The recipients of Equality Utah’s 2009 Allies for Equality Award will be Salt Lake County Councilwoman Jenny Wilson, the South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society’s Rev. Sean Dennison, former ACLU director and Women’s Redrock Music Festival organizer Carol Gnade, and Cactus & Tropicals founder and owner Lorraine Miller. Proceeds go to helping Equality Utah support fair-minded candidates for state and local office. Sponsorships are available.

When: Aug. 19 Where: Salt Palace Grand Ballroom Cost: Tickets are $100

KRCL Membership Drive Gay-friendly community radio station KRCL 90.9 FM will hold its summer membership drive July 30-31. Annual memberships are $30 and can be renewed or activated at krcl.org.

Equality Utah Town Meetings Statewide gay and transgenderrights group Equality Utah is hosting a series of Town Hall Meetings across the Wasatch Front to raise awareness of its Common Ground Initiative and to get Utahns involved in municipal legislation for such things as workplace and housing protections for gay and transgender people. Meetings have been held in Taylorsville, Sandy and West Valley City, and are scheduled for Park City and Ogden as well.

When: Park City, July 23 at Park City Library, 255 Park Ave. and Ogden, July 28 at the Ogden OUTreach Center, 705 23rd St., both from 6:30–8 p.m.

Info: Equalityutah.org

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Mormon Ties with National Anti-Gay Marriage Group Being Investigated The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints maintains to this day that it had severely limited involvement in the battle for Proposition 8 in California and no involvement in the National Organization for Marriage, a group fighting (and losing) battles in several states as gay marriage proposals make their way through the system.

NOM pledged to spend over a million dollars to defeat gay marriage in New York alone — $600,000 in media campaigns and telephone calls and $500,000 to help mount primary challenges against Republican state senators in New York who vote for a gay marriage bill proposed by Gov. David Paterson.

NOM says it has spent $6 million to block gay marriage in several states since it was organized in 2007, including $1.8 million to place Proposition 8 on the ballot in California that repealed gay marriage there last year.

But to this day, the organization’s leaders have refused formal requests to make their tax forms available for perusal. Fred Karger, who organized Californians Against Hate, requested the forms on March 25, yet nearly four months later, the group has yet to comply. Federal law requires non-profit organizations, such as NOM, to release the information within 30 days.

Karger says that the church’s involvement is highly suspect since documents released this year showing LDS Church involvement in Hawaii’s 1996 gay marriage battle are eerily similar to the campaign for Proposition 8 in California. “The church is the marionette, the puppeteer, of Maggie and Brian,� Karger said, referring to Gallagher, who is NOM’s president, and Brian Brown, its executive director. “The evidence is clear that the Mormon Church is 100 percent behind the National Organization for Marriage and its funding.�

Gallagher has denied any relationship with the church other than one of its members, Orson Scott Card, who is on the board of directors. “I would not shy away from telling

you if a group of Catholics and a group of Mormons founded NOM,� Gallagher said. “It’s not true. I founded NOM. I’d be happy to work with Mormons, but NOM was not started at the suggestion of Salt Lake. But I’d be OK with it if it was true.�

Kim Farah, spokeswoman for the church, insists that the church “did not establish the National Organization for Marriage,� but fails to respond to a question about whether the Mormon Church has been active in the campaigns to defeat gay marriage in New England and New York.

But bloggers and activists have found that at least a dozen of the 23 actors shown in audition videos for NOM’s high-profile “Gathering Storm� commercial are Mormon actors from Gilbert, Ariz., many of whom were in the Mormon Easter Pageant there this year.

Jason Echols, who blogs at chinoblanco.com, has put a call to readers from Gilbert and the surrounding area to contact him if they recognize any of the other actors in the spot.

Karger called for Gallagher to take a lie detector test at his cost to clear up the confusion. To date she has refused.

The California Fair Political Practices Commission is currently investigating whether the LDS Church has fully divulged its participation in Proposition 8, which they have admitted to spending $180,000 in a late filing.

Gallagher is no stranger to covering up illicit contributions. She was forced to apologize for receiving $41,500 from the George W. Bush Administration to promote its marriage programs and National Fatherhood Initiative while a White House news correspondent and syndicated columnist.

She also has been under fire for receiving a salary at the nonprofit Institute for Marriage and Public Policy of more than double the national average for nonprofit executives — to the tune of 42 percent of donations to the organization.  Q

July 23 , 20 09  |  issue 133  |  QSa lt L a k e  |  11

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Utah Utah Lesbian Loses Visitation Battle On July 2 a Utah Third Judicial District Court ruled that co-guardianship and co-parenting agreements would not allow Gena Edvalson to see the boy she conceived with former partner Jana Dickson.

In the past, gay and lesbian parents in Utah have used both documents respectively to raise a child together and to prove that both have agreed to remain parents to their children in the event of a breakup. The agreements were seldom used in Utah before 2004, and were not necessary until after 2000, when the legislature passed a bill forbidding unmarried cohabitating couples — which include same-sex couples — from adopting children.

Edvalson and Dickson used artificial insemination to impregnate Dickson, who gave birth to their son in 2006. The couple, however, broke up in 2007, and like many non-biological lesbian parents in Utah, Edvalson found herself fighting for the right to see the boy after, as she told the Salt Lake Tribune, Dickson began shortening the time she spent with the child to one visit per week. At that time, Edvalson’s attorney, Lauren Barros, sent Dickson a letter asking Dickson to resolve the custody dispute through mediation.

“Then Jana hired Frank Mylar, and it was kind of game on,” Edvalson told the paper.

Mylar, a Midvale-based attorney, is a member of the Alliance Defense Fund, a legal alliance of Christian attorneys who profess a belief in “traditional family values.” Mylar has spoken frequently before state legislative committees in opposition to a number of bills seeking to secure protections for gay and transgender Utahns, including a bill this session that sought to allow samesex parents to adopt children.

Shortly after Mylar took Dickson as a client, Edvalson said the visits stopped altogether. In April of this year, however, a judge ordered Dickson to let Edvalson see the child until he handed down a ruling.

The judge ruled, however, that Edvalson was a legal stranger to the child. In doing so, he upheld a ruling in the similar case of Jones v. Barlow. In this 2007 Supreme Court case, the state’s high court ruled that the common law doctrine of “in loco parentis” (Latin for “in place of a parent”) did not recognize individuals who have acted as parents to a child but are not related to that child biologically

or through adoption. Since that ruling, and the passage of legislation cementing it in 2008, a number of lesbian non-biological parents have found themselves in similar situations to Edvalson’s. Last year, Gina Herrera sued her ex-partner, Hollii Whiting, to visit the daughter the couple had conceived together. Her case is still pending.

In an e-mail to the Tribune, Dickson, who is now married to a man, did not specify why she had made the “very hard decision to limit Gena’s role” in their 3-year-old son’s life. An attorney herself, however, Dickson did note that she believes in same-sex marriage and adoption rights for lesbian couples, provided that a child’s biological mom agrees that a partner should adopt her child.

Mylar recently told OneNewsNow that his client had converted to Christianity.

“She’s a professing Christian and she certainly attends church,” he said. “She and her husband both do.”

In an ADF press release issued July 9, Mylar said that the court had “correctly ruled that this little boy’s right to his mother under state law is of far greater value than the wishes of someone who has no legal relationship to the child.”

“The fundamental rights of parents to

raise children the way they see fit should not be threatened by the wishes and desires of a legal stranger,” he said.

While Barros said the ruling was “not binding precedent,” she nonetheless added that she no longer recommended that same-sex couples enter into co-parenting agreements.

Statewide gay and transgender-rights group Equality Utah also weighed in on the case. Their Manager of Programs and Administration, Keri Jones, was the plaintiff in Jones v. Barlow. “[Edvalson’s case] illustrates the Utah courts lack of consideration for the best interest of the child as well as the rights of the second parent,” the organization said.

For the past several months, Edvalson has been keeping a Wordpress blog detailing her thoughts about the case. On July 9 she wrote: “Last week the judge ruled in her favor. The contract goes against Utah public policy. There is no longer an order of visitation. I lost my son. He lost another adult (nay, a mom) who loves him. They lost their souls. ... I’m as sad as I can be.

I’m broken hearted. I will always love him.”

Edvalson did not respond to an e-mail seeking further comment.

Chaffetz Attempts to Stop D.C. Recognition of Gay Marriage Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) and Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) have joined to submit two amendments to the annual District of Columbia appropriations bill aimed at nullifying D.C.’s outof-state marriage law recognition unless district voters approve it in the next general election and stripping funding for its impleRep. Jason Chaffetz mentation.

According to Chaffetz’ communications director Alisia Essig, Amendment 16 would “provide that any law enacted by the D.C. Council that recognizes any definition of marriage other than a union between one man and one woman shall be invalid unless approved by the electors of the District of Columbia in the first general election that follows the enactment of that law. This provision would apply to any law enacted by the Council at any time before, on, or after the enactment of this Act.” Amendment 19 would “prohibit D.C. funds from being used by the District of Columbia to implement or enforce any recognition of a marriage between two individuals other than a marriage between one man and one woman.”

Insiders say that neither amendment has much traction in the Democraticcontrolled House Rules Committee.

12 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

Also, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) filed Amendment 77, which would prohibit the use of funds for D.C.’s domestic partnership law, which stems from the Health Care Benefits Expansion Act of 1992.

“None of the funds made available in this act may be used to implement or enforce the Health Care Benefits Expansion Act of 1992,” says the proposed amendment.

And Rep. Dan Burton (D-Ind.) filed Amendment 28, which would block the use of funds for any court that would hear the question of the constitutional validity of the amendments made by the Defense of Marriage Act. “None of the funds made available in this act may be used for any court created by act of Congress or the Supreme Court, to hear or decide a question of the constitutional validity of the amendments made by the Defense of Marriage Act providing that no state shall be required to give effect to any marriage between persons of the same sex under the laws of any state,” says the proposed amendment.

An unnamed staffer with Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) has told callers that “there is very little chance that any of the proposed amendments would make it through the Democratic-controlled Rules Committee to reach the House floor,” but hoped their efforts continue, as “stuff like this seems to occupy these clowns and it keeps them out of our hair while we work on important things ... like the health care reform bill.”

Q mmunity Leadership Scholarship The Salt Lake City Human Rights Commission is accepting applications for its Leadership Utah Scholarship. The scholarship is available to Salt Lake residents who are, according to scholarship guidelines, “members of the City’s diverse community.” It offers recipients a tuition waver to participate in the city’s Chamber of Commerce’s Leadership Utah Program, which allows residents of the city to engage with community, government and business leaders about issues of importance to residents. The scholarship, which is not cash-based, is good for the session lasting from September 2009 to June 2010.

The session involves 10 days of lectures, discussions and field trips.

The scholarship will be awarded to one applicant, and applications are available at slcgov.com/mayor/ divHR. Deadline: July 31 Info: Contact Yolanda FranciscoNez at Yolanda.francisco-nez@ slcgov.com or (801) 535-7734.

Center Golf Classic Registration will be opening soon for the Utah Pride Center’s 10th annual Golf Classic Tournament, which serves as a fundraiser for the Center. The tournament will be held Aug. 30 at the Stonebridge Golf Course.

Info: utahpridecenter.org

Craft Lake City SLUG Magazine has announced over 65 crafters and artists will vend at their upcoming do-it-yourself alternative craft fair — Craft Lake City. Artists will include Leia Bell, Gentry Blackburn, Trent Call, Andy Chase, Sonya Evans, Kali Mellus, Nick Potter, Julie Stutznegger, Claire Taylor, Sri Whipple. “We had over 120 submissions from artists across the Wasatch Front,” says Kate Wheadon, SLUG Magazine Director of Sales and Marketing and Craft Lake City organizer. “We brought in five judges to determine which artists would showcase at the festival.

We feel the outcome represents the innovative and creative talent in this region.”

WHEN: Sat., Aug. 8, 2009, 2–10 pm WHERE: Gallivan Center in downtown Salt Lake COST: Free INFO: craftlakecity.com

Straight Ally Has Eye for SLC Council Seat The 2008 election season may feel like it just ended — especially to people who campaigned for office or volunteered on a campaign — but the 2010 mid-term election is right around the corner.

Equality Utah, a statewide group advocating on behalf of gay and transgender rights, is preparing to interview elected officials and candidates for possible endorsement, and the deadline to register to run for office next year passed earlier this month.

One of the many men and women who submitted an application is Lisa Allcott, who will be running for the Salt Lake City Council’s District 3 seat in next year’s non-partisan race, the district encompassing Federal Heights, Capitol Hill, the Avenues and the gayfriendly Marmalade District. She is one of seven contenders for the slot, many of whom filed to enter the race shortly before the deadline.

When asked why she decided to run for the seat, Allcott, who has previously campaigned for Planned Parenthood and Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, said that the idea started when she attended last year’s Democratic National Convention as a Utah delegate.

“I started going to a lot of sessions and training put on by many of the women’s organizations, and they were really encouraging women to consider running,” she said. “That’s when I first started thinking about it.” After returning home, Allcott said she wondered how she could improve her community and her state. In the end, the answer proved much closer than she imagined.

“Loving this city, I felt I could really contribute a lot to moving this city forward into the next century, into becoming a great American city,” she said. “I love living here, I don’t have a threehour-a-day commute, housing is more affordable [than it was in her former home of San Francisco], we live in this beautiful valley with the mountains at our doorstep.”

As many gay and transgender Utahns already know, Allcott’s political resume is already quite long. Along with working for Clinton and organizing pro-choice rallies, she served as openly lesbian Rep. Christine Johnson’s campaign manager during the Salt Lake City Democrat’s 2006 bid for office, and treasurer of the Utah Democratic party from 2003-2005 and the party’s statewide coordinated campaign manager in 2004. While living in California before returning to Utah in 2001, she also served on Sen. Barbara Boxer’s finance committee.

“Once you get the bug in politics, sometimes it really grabs you,” she said.

Although the District 3 Council race is a hot one, Allcott may benefit from

beginning her campaign earlier than those candidates who registered closer to the deadline. Already she has raised approximately $8,000 for her campaign and won the endorsements of Johnson and Utah’s two other openly gay politicians, Salt Lake City Democrats Rep. Jackie Biskupski and Sen. Scott McCoy, former Mayor Rocky Anderson and current Councilmembers Jenny Wilson and Joe Hatch. She has also received a number of endorsements from such prominent Salt Lake residents as attorney Jane Marquardt and composer Kurt Bestor.

Allcott also said she chose to run for a very specialized and municipal office because people can have “a greater impact at the local level” when it comes to making changes for the better.

“It doesn’t take as long as it does for the state legislature or the federal government to come around,” she said.

Among the issues that Allcott supports are women’s reproductive rights, workers’ rights to organize, and advocating for open spaces and the arts.

“As a kid, being here in the ’60s, we had a really vibrant downtown, an arts and culture district, and I want us to get back to that,” she said, adding that she would also like to see more activities in the city to give people reason to go downtown often. “There has to be more 24/7 things we can do down there,” she added.

Additionally, Allcott won her nominations from many of Utah’s gay and lesbian leaders because she is an advocate of marriage equality for samesex couples. Given that her brother is gay, Allcott said the issue of rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people is particularly urgent for her.

If elected, she said she hopes to take a leadership roll on the council in getting the city to extend domestic partner benefits to retired city employees and passing a housing nondiscrimination ordinance that includes sexual orientation and gender identity.

“Another item — and other cities have done this — is holding city contractors and vendors accountable for offering domestic partner benefits,” she added. “I think those are some areas that somebody needs to take the lead on and get those enacted.”

Allcott noted that she is interested in these issues particularly because she would like to see gay people stay in Utah to be close to their families. In order to marry his partner and raise a family, she said her brother left the state and moved to Toronto, where gay marriage has been legal for several years.

“It’s very sad that I lost part of my family, but they have a great life, they’re part of the fabric of society, they have their in-laws living with them and no-

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 13

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body cares that they’re gay,” she said.

“I’m hoping we can get to that point in this country. You gotta work at the local level to start making those things happen. You can’t wait for the federal government and the state legislature to enact gay-friendly legislation.”

As part of her campaign, Allcott met with her gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and allied constituents at the Utah Pride Center earlier this month. What they had to say, she said, was valuable.

“We did talk about LGBT issues, but they wanted to talk about downtown and housing and how expensive it’s getting [to live] in Salt Lake City,” she said. “We also, of course, talked about Capitol Hill and the traffic issues on Victory Road.

They had a few ideas there, maybe put some more stoplights in.”

Although Allcott is aggressively campaigning in her district and scheduling such meetings with constituents all throughout the neighborhoods she hopes to represent, she said that she can’t afford to take anything in this election for granted, particularly with so many other candidates who are also eager for the seat in the council.

“It’ll be a vigorous campaign, you take nothing for granted,” she said.

“It’s day one and I’ll work as hard as I can and have all my supporters helping me.” Q To learn more about Lisa Allcott’s campaign visit lisaforcitycouncil.com.

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Q Views

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Guest Editorial

SNAP: The Northern Utah Coalition HIV/AIDS Project

Is the World Welcome to Kiss Here?

by Karen Mccreary, Stephen Clark

The recent citation of two Salt Lake residents for “trespassing” on Main Street Plaza has reignited debate over how to balance private and public rights in our downtown. As ongoing construction will soon result in the opening of more areas that might be subject to such a balancing of rights, it is worth collectively revisitchurch, however, apparently deemed ing the competing interests.

In April 1999, when Salt Lake City de- their presence and conduct (before they cided to close and sell a block-long seg- were confronted) as “offensive,” and bement of Main Street to the Church of Je- lieved it was within its rights as the propsus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the city erty owner to enforce its unwritten and initially retained an easement guarantee- subjective code of conduct.

The perspectives of both sides are uning public access to the property for use as a pedestrian thoroughfare or simply derstandable, and highlight a genuine an urban refuge. However, the city also conflict. They invite consideration, not gave the church the power to police the least because the same conflict is bound easement, and to prohibit at its discre- to arise when the church’s downtown City tion expressive activities that had long Creek development opens to the public. As been given the highest degree of consti- the ACLU wrote to the city in 2003: “The tutional protection in such “traditional church will surely demand that it be given public forums” as public sidewalks and absolute control over that property just as parks, as well as any conduct the church it does the Main Street Plaza, including the right to engage in religious and other deemed “offensive.”

Unfortunately, the city declined to ad- kinds of invidious discrimination by ardress the obvious constitutional flaws resting and jailing those who don’t embody cited by the ACLU at that time. Litiga- its desired message and image, in order to tion ensued, challenging the terms of the public easement as violating both the free speech and the religion clauses of the First Amendment. The fundamental problem, the ACLU asserted, was that the city had agreed to turn this block into what by design and function would continue to be part of the downtown pedes- Editor, trian grid; the area would appear to be a Walter Cronkite was my friend and menpublic park, while subjecting members tor. That fact attests to his generosity of of the public to a subjective, unwritten, heart and spirit when one considers the way in which we first met. non-constitutional code of conduct.

After [my on-air civil protest,] CBS After the ACLU’s lawsuit succeeded on the straightforward premise that a “pub- News agreed to look into the “possibility” lic” right cannot be subject to “private” that they were censoring or had a bias in restrictions (much less those informed reporting news regarding the struggle for solely by the religious views of a par- gay rights. Walter and I would disagree ticular denomination), the city decided about that to this day, both with smiles on to simply eliminate the public easement. our faces. But the fact remains, a week afThe plaza became private property and ter the incident, Walter showed a U.S. map the public lost its right of access and con- on the Evening News and pointed out cities that had passed gay rights legislation. stitutional protections.

Network news was never the same afThe legal title does not change the basic appearance or use of the plaza as ter that.

Walter went on to speak in support of a thoroughfare or park, and therein lies the source of continuing confusion and gay rights whenever asked at his speakdebate. The hand-holding gentlemen ing engagements. After stepping down cited on the plaza, no doubt unaware of from the anchor chair, he was free to these legal technicalities, apparently ex- do more, and he did. He spoke up about pressed dismay and outrage when they HIV/AIDS and even against “Don’t Ask, were asked to leave. They understand- Don’t Tell.” On gay issues he was ahead ably believed they were on a public side- of his time. In an unpublished interview walk and had done nothing unlawful. The we did 13 years ago he even speaks about 1 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

Letters

A Tried and True Journalist

protect its substantial interest and investment in the adjacent property.”

One can only hope this recent incident will spur renewed discussion among city leaders, downtown business owners and other interested parties on this central question: Is the world indeed welcome here, or only so much of it as might reflect and reinforce the views of the dominant religion? Those religious views are entitled to respect; whether they are entitled to enforcement across an everwidening swath of our downtown should be addressed before additional misunderstanding and conflict arise.

Karen McCreary has been the executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Utah since 2006. Stephen Clark serves on the legal panel of the ACLU of Utah and formerly was the organization’s staff attorney. marriage equality.

Each time we met or even just had a phone conversation the first thing he’d say was “Mark, how’s the paper doing?” and offer advise with a smile on his face.

That smile was because he was doing what he loved best: talking about journalism and attempting to make it better — in this case, by assisting the publisher of a small LGBT weekly newspaper.

He was funny. He outed me, or rather outed our friendship on his televised CBS memoirs as well as showing a clip of the disruption itself. He felt it important that his memoirs of report news contain LGBT issues.

In 2005 I produced Philadelphia’s July 4th concert with Sir Elton John which was dedicated to AIDS Education. The opening segment of the concert and broadcast was Walter Cronkite, speaking about the importance of the fight against HIV/AIDS. Walter embodied a tried and true journalist, one who covered all sides of the story and was committed to the idea of bringing news to the public. I am proud he lent me some of that expertise, and proud of all his accomplishments as a journalist, friend and person.

Mark Segal Publisher, Philadelphia Gay News

As any Utahn knows, our state’s population is about one-fourth the size of New York City’s and spread out over space amounting to, well, more than a few New York Cities. So it’s no surprise that Southern Utah, Salt Lake County/Provo, Northern Utah and Eastern Utah are actually pretty isolated from each other, all things considered. And while it’s often nice to have so much leg room, our long distances of nothing but highways make life difficult for people with HIV/AIDS who don’t live along the Wasatch Front. For this reason alone, local services like the Northern Utah Coalition, Inc.’s HIV/ AIDS Project are vital to our state’s health and humanity. Here’s hoping that the project’s Aug. 1 HIV/AIDS Walk, Steppin’ For Life, draws walkers from all over the state, geographical isolation be damned.

SLAP: Hackers By now Web-savvy QSaltLake readers probably know that our Web site got TKO’d on July 19. Presumably by someone who has swapped his or her head with his or her posterior. And here we thought our lives were dramatic enough with all of this kissing and 97 degree weather and more kissing! But seriously, we can only imagine how much free time our hacker must have on his or her greasy little hands, and how desperate for attention s/he must be. Having to de-bug a Web site is always infuriating (just ask Michael!), but we can’t really bring ourselves to feel rage at our hacker. Rage can’t exist with pity, after all.

SNAP: Kiss-ins A little bit of Paris met a little bit of the 1960s this month as gay, lesbian and straight couples, best friends and even random strangers pecked, necked, smooched and snogged near the LDS Church’s plaza in support of the “kiss heard ‘round the world” between Matt Aune and Derek Jones.

The couple’s buss on the Mormonowned property earlier this month earned them a handcuffing, police call and, according to Aune, a trip down to the concrete for him. The church says the two were drunken, disorderly and potty-mouthed, the couple say they were targeted for being gay, since straight couples regularly kiss on the plaza without interference. We say that the kissins should continue until morale improves, and quite possibly bring along some street performers. Radical Cheerleaders? Performance artists?

Tricksters? Are you hearkening?

Queer Gnosis Sexual Fluidity: The

Lisa Diamond Ph.D, Interview

By Troy Williams

T

he Queer community has been

obsessed with cultivating the idea that we all have fixed sexual identities. We’ve crafted terrific narratives and political platforms based on the notions that all gays are “born that way.� But what if sexuality is more complex? What if biology actually intersects with environment, time, culture and context? Could we possibly be more fluid than we’ve supposed?

These are the issues that Lisa Diamond tackles in her new book, Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. Diamond challenges everything we thought we knew about fixed notions of sexuality. In part one of this interview, we’ll discuss her research findings. In part two, we’ll explore the troublesome category of bisexuality.

The entire interview is available to podcast at queergnosis.com.

troy WIllIams: When you started your research you came to the realization that everything you knew about female sexuality was wrong. What were the ideas that framed your original worldview?

tell us what you remember.�

But what we now know about auto-biological narrative is that the impulse to tell a clear, linear story about how you got to be the way you are is very strong.

They tend to tell a pretty limited story.

So I decided not to take that approach and to follow women soon after they come out and to keep re-interviewing them over time. tW: How long did you track these women? lD: It’s been 13 years. As long as the women are willing to keep participating, I’m going to keep following them. tW: How old was the youngest? lD: When I started they were all between 16 and 23. Now they’re getting older, having babies, getting married and unmarried. Continuing to follow them has been very gratifying. But what I quickly found was the very linear narrative didn’t describe these women at all. It certainly described some, but it was really over-generalized.

What I found when I checked in over time is that they would change their identity labels. They would find themselves falling in love with people they didn’t expect; whether it was heterosexual women getting involved with women, or lesbian women getting involved with their male best friends, there was just a broad range of experiences that absolutely flew in the face of this pact, clean story of a progressing, unfolding identity.

It forced me to go back to the drawing board and ask myself what exactly we thought this phenomenon of identity development really was — and then to ask ourselves deeper questions about the nature of female sexuality and what sexuality in general really is.

out and for whom the primacy of that identity is so salient. What I found at 10-year follow up interviews with some of my respondents when I asked them about their sexual identity, some would say, “These days I’m sorta more focused on my IRA. I’m living with a woman, I’m obviously a lesbian, but I just don’t think about it everyday.� Identity writ large is no longer always the most important thing. tW: You talk a lot about sexual orientation, sexual identity and sexual behavior. Let’s break down the difference between the three. lD: Most people assume they all go together in a nice, neat package. We now actually have more good data on what folks out in the world are doing. And whether the folks who are having sex with the same sex are identifying as gay, and how they describe their attractions.

One of the first large-scale studies of this that was published in 1994 was from a random representative sample of American adults. They were looking at Americans who said they were attracted to the same sex, Americans who were having sex with the same sex and Americans who were identifying as lesbian, gay and bisexual. What they found when they put those groups together was fascinating. The majority of those individuals reported being attracted to the same-sex but they were

neither having same-sex sexual contact, nor were they identifying as gay, lesbian or bisexual. They were just going about their lives, having attractions and doing nothing about it at all. That’s the majority of individuals with any aspect of same-sex sexuality.

Then you have a group of individuals who engage in same-sex behavior, but don’t identity as gay and don’t even say they are attracted to the same-sex.

That’s what they report. That group is half the size. And the smallest group, are those who identify and are also having sex and claiming same-sex attractions. So the prototype in our mind of a gay person who identifies is actually the least representative type. And studies in other countries have found the same thing. It’s a small population.

So if you broaden your categories you realize that there are a whole bunch of people who have one aspect of samesex sexuality that is relevant to their lives, and other aspects that are not.

We have no theory at all in the social sciences about what these divergences mean. We’ve been studying everything all wrong.

In part two, Dr. Diamond answers the question: Is bisexuality really just a transitional phase? Q

Lisa Diamond is an Associate Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah. Troy Williams is the executive producer of RadioActive on KRCL, 90.9 FM.

But what if sexuality is more complex?

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tW: The desire for a fixed identity is really important to people. lD: The role of the fixed identity is also developmentally specific. A lot of individuals feel like it plays a very important role often in the beginning stages as they start to identify. It’s not that it’s fiction, it’s just we have a distorted sense of what role it plays. Usually when we talk about sexual identity we’re talking to individuals who recently came

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 15

JUNE 14 THRU OCTOBER 25

FROM

lIsa DIamonD: I started this project pretty naĂŻve. I was well-steeped in what the academic literature had to say.

It was a packed story.

It basically said that young children, at some point in pre-adolescence, begin to become aware of same-sex attraction if they are gay. And the process of sexual identity development was just this progressive unfolding of that aspect of themselves.

There were certain sequences of stages that were followed: questioning, awareness and then experimentation.

And then you end this process by claiming your gay identity and you ride off into the sunset! A lot of the research that was published at the time (late ’80s, early ’90s) was on young men. So, as a dutiful graduate student looking for an area of research that had not been done to death, I decided to study women.

There had been some research to suggest women might be different. So I decided to study what is true about women if we follow them over time. Most of the research on sexual identity development was done on adult gay people. We said, “recollect back 10 or 15 years and

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my part to stimulate the economy, support the American auto worker, and buying into the President’s self-fulfilling prophesy about the economy correcting itself.

Yes kittens, I just bought myself a new “Ruby Mobile,” and it’s adorable!

She’s white with dark tinted windows, gets killer mileage and has a diabolical sound system, plenty of wig room, and a comfy yet make up-resistant interior. Now cherubs, I know Detroit is under pressure to design cars for better fuel efficiency, but if the auto makers really wanted to help, they would install a removable tray on the floor for all of the shedding feathers, sequins and glitter. Hell, if they can do it for toasters why can’t they do it for cars? I’m just saying.

“So Ruby, what did you name your latest addition to the family?” Well, thank you for your genuine interest, sweeties! After downloading lists of female baby names from the internet (I am so not driving a “Brittany!”), followed by some very quick fasting and prayer, I settled on the name “Lucretia” … and here’s why: A few weeks ago, I hosted a fashion show at the Paper Moon for my super-talented bud Wendy (Wee to most people), who has designed a knock-out line of T-shirts, caps and panties under the brand name of “Creep Squad.”

The show featured a line up of very attractive models (sporting some serious boobage — even by my bounteous and enhanced standards!), and several of the old school Cyber Sluts who were onhand to perform (Lucky Charms, Andromeda Strange, Chevy Suburban). But what really stuck in my head was the great soundtrack

of heavy Goth-inspired dance music.

Seriously pumpkins, I had the Sisters of Mercy’s “Lucretia, My Reflection” in my head for days! So Lucretia just kinda stuck.

Wee is one of those enigmatic characters in our community who I just adore. She’s a really talented artist, she’s super creative, and she is actually really friendly, but you would never know at first sight because most of the time she looks like an intimidating train wreck (even before the fashionforward leg cast and crutches she was sporting last week). Imagine Amy Winehouse with Susan Powter’s most retro lezbo haircut, crossed with any of the tattooed guys on American Chopper, and you basically get the idea. But once you get past the pierced and inked facade, she’s just a doll, and I would do anything for her!

So here is my recommendation, petals: Google or Bing “Creep Squad” to find her Web address and check out her designs. Better yet, stimulate the economy and buy a shirt or two. The Obama Administration and the Treasury thank you in advance for your investment in American innovation, manufacturing and job creation. And if you buy a Creep Squad thong or some panties, I’m sure the ghosts of the Clinton Administration will salute you as well!

Ciao, babies! Q

Imagine Amy Winehouse with Susan Powter’s most retro lezbo haircut, crossed with any of the tattooed guys on American Chopper

You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem performing live, in all of their politically incorrect polyester glory every third Friday of the month at Third Friday Bingo, First Baptist Church, 777 South 1300 East in Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. The designated charity for August is the Salt Lake Men’s Choir, who will be singing a few Broadway-inspired numbers for us. Bonus!

/ ­U rban Utah (801)209-7854 five to the Utah Pride Center 16 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

Creep of the Week Erik Rush

By D’Anne Witkowski

E

Rush is totally gonna puke.

As a matter of fact, he probably kept a bucket next to his desk the entire time he was writing his July 9 World Net Daily column titled “The myth of homosexual oppression.”

Or maybe he skipped right to the chase and wrote it in the bathroom, which would be appropriate since it’s a load of shit.

Who, exactly, is making Rush so sick? Barack Obama. And the gays. And the disgusting relationship between the two.

For starters, on June 1, Obama declared June Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. “I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists,” he said in a statement.

Then, to make things worse, Obama met with LGBT community leaders on June 29. It was, writes Rush, “a shameless, retch-provoking pandering sesrik

sion.” All those gay bodies in one room so close to the President of the United States getting their homo cooties all over him: I can picture Rush heaving at the mere thought of it. Somebody get him some ginger ale and Saltine crackers, stat.

In Rush’s view, gay folks wield “an inordinate amount of power in the Democrat [sic] party” and are responsible for Obama getting elected, which basically makes Obama the head of a fag puppet government. This would explain why in his first 100 days Obama legalized marriage for gays and lesbians, overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, got rid of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and changed the National Anthem to Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.”

The truth is, Obama is moving pretty slowly on the LGBT front, which kind of flies in the face of Rush’s claim that Obama has the “perception of necessity in the show of advancing their agenda.”

Oh yeah, also Obama is a magic hypnotist. “With his Svengali-like powers, perhaps he can even pull off compulsory approval of homosexuality on the part of every soul in America,” writes Rush.

That’s right, Mister. Who needs hearts and minds when you’ve got souls? “You are getting very sleepy, Sir. Now, when I clap my hands three times you will open your eyes, cluck like a chicken and go kiss your male co-worker on the mouth. And like it.” Now that’s what I call good government.

The worst part of all of this, according to Rush, is that gays don’t even face discrimination. That word, apparently, is reserved for black people. “I have always considered those who make the comparison between blacks and gays as the worst kind of scum. Don’t expect me to change my tune just because our precious “first black president” is making the comparison now,” writes Rush, himself a black man.

Why is it so scummy to make such a comparison? Because homosexuality isn’t something you’re born with. And don’t expect Rush to change his tune about that, either. “All the junk science in the world isn’t going to alter the fact that homosexuality is a ‘choice,’” he writes.

Most disgusting of all is “the fallacious premise ... that homosexuals are somehow oppressed in America. ‘They are not.’”

His proof? He doesn’t offer any, probably because he was making himself so sick with all of this focus on gays. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find some TUMS myself. Q

D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet (believe it!). When she’s not taking on the creeps of the world she reviews rock and roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister and teaches writing at the University of Michigan.

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Lambda Lore ‘Try to Love One Another Right Now’

by Ben Williams

I

f someone were to ask what was

the most significant event in 1969, most straight people might say “landing on the moon.” However, if you asked gay people if landing on the moon or the rebellion at the Stonewall Inn was more significant for them, I bet you would get an entirely different answer.

In 1969 I was glued to the television set, surrounded by my family, as we watched Neil Armstrong take “one small step for man” on July 20. It was unbelievable that we were able to watch this historic event take place, even in grainy black and white monosound. I always wondered if Ted Kennedy was able to watch the moon landing too, or was he too busy trying to make the drowning of Mary Jo Kopeckne a couple of days earlier go away.

While I was spending my first summer free from high school tooling around Southern California with John Cunningham, enjoying the sunny beaches and long talks about what the future held for us, in New York City a gay leaflet proclaiming “Do You Think Homosexuals Are Revolting? — You Bet Your Sweet Ass We Are” was being circulated to announce the formation of the Gay Liberation Front. The first meeting was to be held on July 24.

The name Gay Liberation Front was suggested by former members of the

Mattachine Action Committee. It was based on the National Liberation Front, the name of an Algerian terrorist group who, a decade before, had sought freedom from France. Liberation Front was also the designation preferred by the Vietcong and other “anti-imperialist leftist organizations.” Gay Liberationists, by using the word “Front,” saw themselves not as an exclusive organization, but as an inclusive movement bringing all gays under its banner. The symbol of the group was a clenched raised fist.

By late July the leaders of the older homophile organizations, like the Mattachine Society of New York and the Daughters of Bilitus, were still trying to control the movement. They organized a rally to mark the one month anniversary of the Stonewall riots and stated that the rally was in support of “the rights of homosexuals to openly love whom we please and to [have] an unharassed lifestyle.” People attending the rally in Washington Square Park were asked to wear lavender armbands as a sign of support. Near the Memorial Arch about 300 to 400 people showed up for the first demonstration of homosexual unity since the Stonewall Rebellion.

The MSNY, however, was out of touch with much of the street youth at the rally who wanted change. These youth did not want to read the printed

1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

legal-size flyer about the goals of the Mattachine society, which was too long and too detailed. The people inspired by the spirit of the Stonewall Rebellion were a generation short on patience and distrustful of bureaucratic red tape and of people over 30 generally — which included most of the homophile leaders.

Long speeches were made but they had little support from the crowd. So the rally moved on to Sheridan Square opposite the Stonewall Inn. “People were getting into a great high; they were singing, and had their arms around each other” under the watchful eye of the Sixth Precinct police. There were calls from the crowd for a march to the Sixth Precinct house to voice their anger at continuing harassment of gay people. The police officers, not wanting the crowd to linger on Christopher Street where tension was still high, advised the Mattachine

committee organizers not to allow the crowd to march to the precinct.

Abruptly, the committee called out to the crowd: “Thanks a lot for showing up. Everybody please go home now.”

In the parlance of the time this was “a real downer” and “not cool.” After the abrupt closure of the rally, people were soured on any further actions by the New York Mattachine Society, and they turned to the more radical Gay Liberation Front.

Gay Liberation in 1969 appealed to young homosexuals whose sole common denominator was impatience with the establishment. Homosexuals attracted to the movement had “shed or were shedding all vestiges of homosexual shame,” and wanted to live in the light. They were ready for a confrontation with anybody who might challenge or even delay their right to do so.”

The organizing meetings of the Gay Liberation Front held in late July were frenzied with “a lot of shouting, disruption, chaos!

People were quite adamant that if one is radical about one thing then one must be radical about everything.”

The combination of radical new left politics and homosexuality in Gay Liberation Front meetings created problems unique to the organization: Some gays thought being “radicals” came first and being “homosexuals” came second. These Gay Leftists looked upon the gay liberation movement within a frame work of Marxist-Leninist thought. “To such persons the most important reason for their involvement is not freedom for gay brothers and sisters but for blood in the streets — revolution.”

Others, however, thought the major interest of gay liberation should be to end discrimination against homosexuals and to “free their brothers and sisters from self doubt and self hate, and to build the Gay counter culture.”

The summer of 1969 left the question of what the purpose of Gay Liberation would be hanging as the folksy Youngbloods sang: “Love is but the song we sing, And fear’s the way we die. You can make the mountains ring, or make the angels cry. Know the dove is on the wing. And you need not know why.

C’mon people now, Smile on your brother. Ev’rybody get together, Try and love one another right now.”

Far from the radical politics of New York City, I was happy just scraping beach tar off John Cunningham’s feet in July 1969. I was doing my personal best to “love one another right now.” Q

The people inspired by the spirit of the Stonewall Rebellion were a generation short on patience and distrustful of bureaucratic red tape

Gay Geeks Holy Tap-dancing Voldemort!

By JoSelle Vanderhooft

B

efore we get to the meat of

this column, I have a little plug.

Way, way back in 2006 Torquere press published an anthology of lesbian fairy tales called Sleeping Beauty, Indeed and edited by moi. This anthology passed out of print last year and has been re-sent into the perilous world by wonderful gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-interest publisher Lethe Press as an e-book and dead tree edition, both of which you can purchase for your Kindle or bookshelf at Amazon (or, if you hunt around, in a few more places if Kindle is too 1984 for you). It’s packed with 10 romantic, sexy and all-around brilliant tales by fabulous authors like Catherynne M. Valente, Erzebet YellowBoy, Frank Fradella and AJ Grant, and it’s perfect for summer reading.

So much for the ad portion. Onward!

It’s been at least a year and a half since I last wrote about Harry Potter, right, geeky ones? No chirp from me since the Great Outing of Albus Dumbledore in ’07. Well, with a new Potter movie just released, my Spidey Sense is telling me that now’s a good time to break this fast.

Only, I won’t be writing about the movie. Oh, it’s brilliant, probably the best adaptation they’ve done yet. And if you don’t adore Jim Broadbent as Professor Slughorn, then you quite possibly have even less of a soul than Voldemort does. But, see, even though Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is great, A Very Potter Musical is probably better. I mean, it has cardboard props, Zac Efron jokes, Brooklyn accents, guitar riffs and a Snape who acts like a constipated Alan Rickman on speed. Oh, and about 50 percent more homoeroticism (which we’ll get to in a minute, hold your horses!).

And the climactic scene of Goblet of Fire? One of the bleakest, most horrifying parts of any Potter book? Yeah, it’s done as a tap routine and Death Eater kick line.

David Yates, eat your heart out.

A Very Potter Musical is, of course, an unauthorized parody of the entire Potter series put together by a bunch of musicians, theatre students and recent graduates of the University of Michigan, with music by AJ Holmes and Darren Criss, and book by Brian Holden and Nick and Matt Lang. Initially it was performed five times at the school (for free) as Harry Potter the Musical, and a video of one performance was uploaded to YouTube in June. Of course, as soon as more people than the perfor-

mance’s original audience began giving them hits, the creators took the show down for a few days to make sure they were good with Warner Bros. lawyers (for those not in the know, Harry Potter is WB’s property). The WB told them they were good as long as they weren’t making money, and the musical came back on July 5 — with some sex humor edited out and profanity bleeped for the little ones who might be YouTubing.

And oh my God, geeky ones, am I glad the musical came back so my girlfriend and I could see it! Hands down, it’s the funniest and best Harry Potter fan work I’ve ever seen — and I read fan fiction, listen to Wizard Rock (fan music based on the series) and look at fan art like it’s going out of style. Seriously, in my former life as a theatre worker, I saw musicals in development and even Off-Broadway that weren’t half as well-structured, or with music half as memorable. The creators and their ridiculously talented cast not only get the funny in Harry Potter, they also get how the theatre works, how a live performance has a kind of magic that no other medium (and certainly not film) can imitate. I don’t want to spoil this magic for you if you’re going to watch, so I’ll just say this: watch closely when Harry battles the dragon in Act I, and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

And since this is the “Gay Geeks” column, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the musical is swimming in gay. Oh, sure, it’s got a ton of straight romances, just like the books do, but it makes Dumbledore’s sexuality much more blatant — he saves the last dance at the Yule Ball for Snape and trusts the potions master because, as he tells Harry “I love him!” The show also turns Voldemort and Professor Quirrell into an item — or at the very least heterosexual life partners. You remember Quirrell, right? The cowering, stammering, turban-wearing Defense Against the Dark Arts professor from the first book, who has Voldemort living on the back of his head? The most unsexy thing in a series that also includes animated corpses, troll boogers and Vernon Dursley?

Yeah, well. Here Quirrell and his back of head attachment (played of course by the actors standing back to back in a large robe) are played as a bickering odd couple, arguing over how to lie down in bed (“I can’t sleep on my tummy!” Voldemort whines) and drunkenly professing their affection for each other. I mean, when we get to

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 19

Quirrell singing about how he misses having Voldemort to hold at night, the closet door is so far off its hinges even magic couldn’t fix it.

It also helps that Voldemort is about 22 and spends the second act wandering around in a sparkly cape, tight leggings, tap shoes and no shirt. Oh Lord, I thought the fangirls (and gay fanboys) in the audience were going to collectively pass out. And then, of course,

there are the Zac Efron jokes.

Geeky ones, if you enjoy Harry Potter and fall-down laughing parodies, hie thee to the musical’s YouTube channel, starkidpotter, and load up Act I, Scene I as soon as you finish this paragraph.

And when you’re done, be sure to check out “Gay Geeks” next issue to catch my interview with A Very Potter Musical’s creators. Oh my God, I am squeeing already! Q

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A Weekend of Rebellion

Three years ago, over 250 men showed up at Club Try-Angles for the first “Utah Rebellion,” a weekend dedicated to leather, uniforms, motorcycles, cigars, boots and sadomasochism, bondage and discipline. The next year drew 300 participants and last year over 400 attended. Organizers are hoping to break 500 as they continue to expand the event to include a street fair and an opening pre-party.

This year’s event takes place once again at Club Try-Angles the weekend of July 31 to Aug. 2.

“This started with the basic concept of having a fun all-male event and now it is a three-day must-attend event,” said Tiger, one of the event’s organizers.

“This event has grown tremendously every year. The first year we had over 250 men show up. We were dumbfounded with the success. Our group of volunteers has grown with the event, where we now have national presenters, local SM group leaders and title holders. It is just amazing.”

“Salt Lake City has truly shown there is a leather need and we are pleased to

20 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

be able to have an influence on it,” Tiger continued.

Asked why he and co-organizer Rox do the event, Tiger joked, “The easy answer in year one was we wanted a free T-shirt. After traveling around and going to many events and paying for shirts we said, ‘Hey let’s throw our own event and we will get a free T-shirt, and thus the Utah Rebellion was born.”

Kidding aside, Tiger said the event allows leather enthusiasts to have a good time as well as a way for those curious about leather to find more about the lifestyle.

“We cannot forget that this event is a blast as well,” he said. “To make it a bit

more exciting, the Rebellion Boys went on an event tour to promote the Utah Rebellion. We think we will be getting a bunch of people from Las Vegas, where we attended the Las Vegas Smokeout, the boys of leather in L.A., and even received some tentative responses from our buddies in London.”

As the event grows, organizers add more activities. New this year is a preweekend social, a play party and onehour classes during the “Rebel Ally Fair,” which is being expanded to a larger area in the parking lot of Club Try-Angles.

“Our old event T-shirts have been upgraded to full-color with hot logos.

We are bringing in top talent to teach and are ensuring we have a full line of DJs, out-of-state boot blacks and more impressive raffle prizes,” said Tiger.

To encourage people to come to the day fair on Saturday, the group has lowered the entry price before 8 p.m., which is still good for all day.

“Having a leather outlet is a need in Salt Lake City and we are happy to be a part of it,” said Tiger.

Many inside and outside the gay community are intrigued by what events, such as Utah Rebellion, are all about.

“The point of leather is to have fun,” explained Tiger. “So our event is focused on having fun and remembering to do what can get difficult with work and all other aspects of life. It is really hot to go to a bar where there are hundreds of kinky men dressed to kill.

Seeing Master/slave or Daddy/boy relationships in the bar is very common and exciting. This is an event where you can express your kink and enjoy the atmosphere.”

Along with the fun aspects of the event, organizers hope to provide an environment where people will feel comfortable to ask questions about the leather lifestyle and obtain information concerning education.

“We are huge supporters of SM education and donate all of the proceeds to a local SM group which is based around classes,” said Tiger. Q

For more information, visit the Utah Rebellion Web site at UtahRebellion.com

Utah Rebellion Schedule: Friday July 31 7–9pm Meet & Greet at Try-Angles — Come meet us.

9pm to ??? Hot MEN’s Play Party. Dungeon and Dark Spaces (must pre-register)

Saturday August 1 2–7pm The Rebel Alley Day Fair 2–7pm BootBlacking 2–7pm Massages by John G. 3–7pm Patio BBQ 2–6:30pm BDSM / Leather Lifestyle Education Classes 8pm–1:30am The Utah Rebellion Leather Bar Party with guest DJ Papa Smurf and DJ Switch 10pm–1am Utah’s Best Raffle

Sunday August 2 11am The Until Next Year Brunch

Bears Cause a Ruckus

By JoSelle Vanderhooft

On July 24-25, bears from Utah, Idaho and all points west will converge on McCammon, Idaho (just outside the famous Lava Hot Springs) to swim, eat and lounge in the sun for the Utah Bear Alliance’s Bear Ruckus 2009.

Of course, we’re talking about the gay and bisexual kind of bears — often burly, hairy guys and, of course, their admirers and friends. There are many of these groups around the country, and one of the largest in the West can be found right here in Utah. “Other than California, our bear group is the most organized and largest in the Pacific northwest,� said Billy Bay, the group’s treasurer and membership chair. The alliance, he said, includes 60 dues-paying members and “close to 200� members in the database — including inactive members. So far, 30 men have registered for the Ruckus and the alliance’s leadership expects 60 to 80 to make the drive to a private ranch in McCammon, including men from all of the Western states and as far away as Canada. The ranch, said Bay, is owned by a couple who have been members of the alliance for years, and who kindly let the group use their property for their yearly getaway — of which 2009’s makes the seventh. “Normally it’s a llama ranch. They normally have llamas out in the pasture, but they moved them all out for us,� said Bay. “[The ranch] is very secluded, with a river running through it and a pond.� And one of the perks of having a party in such an out-of-theway location is, of course, being able to have a good time without bothering the neighbors. “It’s private and we can do what we want; there aren’t any restrictions on noise or alcohol or anything,� said Bay. Doing what the bears want can mean many things. Although the weekend has a few planned activities — such as a visit to Club Charleys in Pocatello

for underwear night on July 24, bingo with the inimitable drag troupe Utah Cyber Sluts on July 25, a tent and camp decorating contest, planned breakfasts and dinners, and a dance night — attendance at any of these events is not mandatory. The rest of the weekend is full of nothing but free time for bears, cubs and their friends to river raft, hike, ride horses, bike, fish or visit one of the area’s many hot springs.

Of course, some Utahns heard about the controversy last month in which a lesbian couple and their three children were denied a family pass to a pool operated by the Lava Hot Springs State Foundation. But Bay has assured attendees that this pool isn’t the only game in town. “I think it’s really unfortunate, and we obviously wouldn’t be giving them their business if we’d known before we made our trip,� he said, noting that the alliance’s leadership would encourage bears to avoid this particular hot spring. “There are several others, and we’ll mention to people that that one isn’t very gay friendly,� he continued. “And if we go as a group, we should go to another one.�

But while some groups of bears may decide to attend a hot spring or play a night of bingo, Bay stressed that the weekend is, overall, a chance for bears and cubs to relax. “We had quite a few other things planned, but as events go, things have changed,� he said. “The whole idea is to camp out, socialize. It’s really just a good chance for bears around the area to get to know each other.�

One of the planned events that changed was the Mr. Utah Bear and Cub Contest, which is typically held during the Ruckus. This year, Bay said that the alliance decided to move the contest to September. “There wasn’t enough interest in the group,� he explained. “Nobody wanted to run for Mr. Bear or Cub.�

In moving the contest to fall, Bay said

that he hopes some interested candidates will come forward. Also, he noted that holding the contest later gives bears and cubs something fun to do after the Ruckus, which is the group’s largest event of the year. “This is another chance for the group to do something, to come together as bears,� he said.

Of course, like many sub-communities among the broader gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community, there is no agreed-upon definition of bear or cub; indeed, men who identify as either tend to come in all shapes, sizes, races and degrees of hairiness. Bay was quick to reassure gay, bisexual and transgender men that they are welcome at the event regardless of whether or not they fit any one definition of bear or cub, or whether or not they even identify as a bear or cub. “Everyone is welcome whether you’re a bear or not,� he said. “All you need to do is go to the Utah Bear Alli-

ance’s Web site, and you can pay your registration at the time you show up there [at the Ruckus]. We welcome everyone with open arms and we love to meet new people. We’re a fun group of people.�

For bears, cubs and their friends who like the sound of the alliance but who can’t make the weekend, Bay encouraged them to come to Bear Coffee, the alliance’s weekly gathering at Raw Bean, on the corner of 600 South and West Temple. The alliance also has a number of other social events throughout the month, which more information can be found at utahbearalliance.com.

Tickets to the Bear Ruckus cost $55 for members and $65 for non-members, and event T-shirts are available for $15. The Ruckus will also include a hospitality tent stocked with beer, wine, sodas and snacks and a movie screen for bears who want to spend a night at the cinema.

For more info, utahbears.com

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July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 21

Fresh from the Oven: Hot Mormon Muffins

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

W

Chad Hardy released the first Men on a Mission calendar in 2007, straight women and gay men the world over thrilled to the (tasteful) shots of shirtless, beefy LDS missionaries each month.

Now, straight men and lesbians get their turn to gander.

In August, Hardy and his Mormons Exposed project will release a 2010 calendar featuring 12 hot Mormon babes.

But don’t expect bikini-clad female missionaries. The Hot Mormon Muffins in this calendar are all mothers — and only a handful of them are even bikiniclad. In fact, their high-collared, thighlength skirts and unbuttoned sweaters (many with a seasonal or holiday theme) feel more like a salute to 1950s pin-up girls than a Playboy knock-off.

According to Hardy, that’s exactly the point.

“It’s really campy, it’s a very Utah culture campy feel,” he said of the calendar and the accompanying Web site, hotmormonmuffins.com, with its retro teal and pink colors and beaming happy housewife holding a tray of tasty muffins.

Oh yes, the muffins here are literal.

Each model’s page will soon include her favorite muffin recipe. The baked goods will also feature prominently on “Hot Mormon Muffins, For TV Dinners,” a tongue-in-cheek Web series of two or three minute-long episodes starring the Muffins (and their muffins) that will debut in August. The trailer, which went live on July 13, shows December’s model, Leticia Farr, preparing a batch — along with some PG-13 imagery. The episodes will run hen

through Christmas.

“It’s like watching a cooking show, but they’re not really cooking,” Hardy said of the series. “The only thing that’s cooking is, well, not the muffins.” To explain the series further, Hardy discussed his favorite episode, “Every Muffin a Missionary,” (a play on the phrase “Every Man a Missionary”), which will air in September or October.

“It’s our cover girl that does that episode,” Hardy explained. “She shows you how to fellowship your non-member neighbors with some Mormon muffins, and it’s just hilarious. The way she does it is so ridiculous, and yet she does it so matter-of-fact, like, ‘This is what we do.’”

While Hardy has remained silent about his plans to do a calendar of Mormon women, he said Hot Mormon Muffins has been in the works for years. He added that he picked mothers not only for the humor value in a “hot moms” calendar, but because motherhood is considered to be a holy calling in the Mormon Church — but a calling that many Mormon women often feel silenced by.

“So many women in the church feel like they don’t have a voice, so it was really interesting to find these women who have had really interesting experience in the church,” Hardy said of the calendar’s models, noting that the 12 women — all active Mormons — include several divorcees who “know what it’s like to be shunned by your community,” a breast cancer survivor and a woman who lost her sister to the disease (a percentage of the calendar sales will go to an as-yet undecided breast cancer-related charity).

22 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

“These are women who have quite a life story. They’re not just a pretty face,” said Hardy.

Hardy found the women for the first calendar through a call for auditions in several media outlets and a link on the calendar’s brother Web site, menonamission.com. Prospective models sent in their name, a no-frills headshot and a statement detailing why they wanted to be part of the project. The models range in age from their early 20s to 53 and include white, Brazilian and Asian women. The models hail mostly from Utah — though cover model Tami is from Idaho. And three of them were brought in by Lisa Wood, Hardy’s longtime friend who is January’s Muffin.

Like Men on a Mission before it, the Hot Mormon Muffins calendar was designed not only for a laugh, but to “showcase individuality within religion and to build bridges that separate humanity based on religious and cultural intolerance,” according to its Web site. Despite the calendars’ good intentions, however, they have caused some controversy, particularly among LDS Church leadership. A year ago, Hardy was excommunicated from the church due to what leaders called concerns over the Men on a Mission calendar and Hardy’s personal life. Last September, Brigham Young University, where Hardy had earned a communications degree, put a hold on his diploma because of his excommunication. Hardy pursued a lawsuit against the school, but dropped it this May “until further notice” because of court costs. On his blog he wrote he was able to raise $5,000 to pursue his case against the church, but would need nearly $20,000 just to “move forward with the suit.”

“That doesn’t include what it will cost to see this through,” the post continued. “It has cost over $12,000 just to get this far. I don’t have $20K. The calendars have yet to pull a profit. The charities are the only ones who have financially benefited from the project so far.”

Hardy also said he didn’t want to deal with the negativity either.

“It’s so negative, and I really wanted to put my focus on this new project,” he said. “But at the right time we’ll continue. It may never be something that goes to court, it may be taken care of in the court of public opinion.”

Despite his struggles with the Mormon Church, Hardy said the calendars are still important to him. And not because he is trying to “strike back” at the church, as some articles have insinuated.

“When they [church authorities] asked me to stop [making the calendars], I’m thinking, ‘Why should I stop?

Just because you don’t like them?’” he said. “They didn’t get the e-mails saying, ‘I’m gay and my whole family has disowned me, and thank you so much for inspiring me.’”

And given recent events, such as the church’s opposition to Proposition 8, and the detention of a kissing gay couple by church security on the “little bit of Paris” plaza earlier this month, Hardy said his Mormons Exposed project is more important than ever.

“Unfortunately decisions made by a select few impact millions of people’s lives, and the fact the Mormon Church came down and said we stand for a certain way of life or type of marriage and we have certain policies that everyone must abide by, that doesn’t necessarily ring true for every single Mormon,” he said. “I think that when they [Mormon leadership] come down and say what they did with Prop 8 or how ridiculous they’ve been at BYU, it divides people.

It makes an us vs. them mentality.

Families have been completely divided by this and in many ways that’s irrevocable. You’re not going to fix or change things that have happened, it’s going to take years. I think it’s cool there’s a group of Mormons who want to be in the calendar who say, ‘Hey, we’re not necessarily like that.’ Just because the suits at the top dictate something doesn’t mean everyone thinks that. ... I personally think that there needs to be more people like us that take a stand and say ‘hey why can’t we be friends?’”

And, of course, he still likes making Mormons look cool.

“It’s pretty obvious they have a problem with me, but if anything, I’ve done them a service,” he said of the church. “We made Mormons look cool, and they’re like, ‘No! We shall not be cool!’”

See shots of the models and their (forthcoming) muffin recipes at hotmormonmuffins. com.

Mormon Muffin Poses for Tolerance, Diversity Flip open a copy of the Hot Mormon Muffins calendar — the latest project from Mormons Exposed — and the first thing you’ll see is Lisa Wood, sitting pretty in a jazzy one piece bodysuit and top hat and holding a vaguely phallic firecracker.

Wood, 38, is Hot Mormon Muffins’ Ms. January. A dance and fitness instructor who formerly danced with the performance group Culture Clash, a jewelry designer and mother of four, she has been friends with Chad Hardy, the mind behind the calendar, since 2005, and was one of the first people he turned to when putting together the cheesecakey project, which hit the internet on July 13 — purposely a year to the date of Hardy’s excommunication from the LDS Church. “[Chad] and I would just brainstorm fun ideas and different things like that,” she said. “I was actually with him business but our own.” when he thought about doing the Men Wood is one of the calendar’s 12 womon a Mission calendar,” said Wood, who en who share similar stories and attilives in St. George. “After he did that tudes. Many of the models are also her he said ‘I’d really like to do a hot mom friends (according to her, she recruited one, and you have to be in it.’ Because Mses. March, April and December, I’m an artist I think I’m probably more whom she met in her fitness classes). open to supporting my friends who are “I know quite a few of the models creative. So I said, ‘sure I’ll support you who are in the calendar and all of us are on this.’” very individual and all of us do things Like many of the women in the calenthat are not bad but are very unique, dar, Wood is a single mother. She has things that your average mother maybe been divorced, she said, for “quite a few wouldn’t do,” Wood said, noting that years” and has not remarried. And her some of the Muffins are bodybuilders experiences as a divorcee in the church and professional models. also made her eager to participate in Wood also said that she is aware of the calendar. the appeal Hot Mormon Muffins and “I believe that there’s a lot of stereo- Men on a Mission (and Mormons Extypes in a lot of religions, but especially posed, the project behind both calen[about] women in the Mormon religion dars) has to gay, lesbian, bisexual and for some reason, about what’s appro- transgender people. The community, priate and what’s not,” she said. “I’ve she added, is close to her heart for sevalways been one who felt each of us has eral reasons: she has a gay cousin and our own guidance system and our abil- many gay friends. ity to decide and choose what’s best for “Being in the dance world, you can us. I encourage my children that way, imagine,” she said. “I truly believe that and they have turned into remarkable we are here to learn to accept the differyoung people because I’ve instilled in ences, that the differences are what is them we all have the same guidance adding to this world, and that’s where I system if we just believe in it.” A strong feel our job individually is, to create — relationship with God, she added, is the not tolerance. I hate that word, it means most important thing, and doesn’t have [something] negative, but to create and to be “cookie cutter.” build, and that comes from having di“This calendar really puts that out versity.” there, that this is something incredibly Like Hardy, Wood also said the LDS different and not what is ‘appropriate’ leadership’s behavior towards gay and in some people’s eyes for a Mormon transgender people made the calendars’ mother, even though the pictures are mission even more relevant. tastefully done and 1940s style,” Wood “I think in that respect, yeah, this is a explained. “It’s putting it out there that very important time to show that more we’re stepping out and saying, ‘Look, than ever ... there is diversity even we can be beautiful and intelligent and among Mormonism,” she said. “That’s we have these amazing, beautiful bod- what this [project] is gonna do. It’s defiies, and we can still maintain this rela- nitely gonna create dialogue [around tionship [with God] which is nobody’s acceptance].”

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 23

And while some of the models from Men on a Mission — and Hardy himself — have drawn criticism, including from church leaders, about their participation in the calendar, Wood said

being criticized isn’t her concern.

“Maybe we will be judged, but who cares?” she said.

Visit Lisa Wood’s jewelry shop at lisajeanjewelry.com.

Fabulous People Yukking It Up with Cooper at Cahoots

by JoSelle Vanderhooft

A

Salt Lake resident to name some famous Utah institutions, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll probably put Cahoots at the top of the list, right alongside such bastions as the Utah Opera Company, the Training Table, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the LDS Church.

Only, Cahoots isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really an institution. The decades-old card and novelty gift shop (with an adults-only room in the back) is really more of a landmark.

What other shop sells shot glasses featuring Salt Lake Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mormon Temple?

As Larry Cooper (known as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cooperâ&#x20AC;? to everyone) tells it, Mike Marcus (who co-owns Cahoots with Cooper and Craig Tssainer) found the storeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most infamous gift in, of all places, a church-run store. The LDS Church, he explained, was selling them as toothpick holders. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well, they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sell and they had cases and cases of them,â&#x20AC;? he remembered. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So we bought every one of them and sold them as shot glasses. Well, it went nuts and we had to have them made. During the [2002] Olympics, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how many we sold. People would hear about them and come and buy boxes of them as souvenirs.â&#x20AC;?

And then there was the George W. Bush toilet paper. Even in this reddest of red states, Cahoots couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t keep it in stock during the 2004 election. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had people just waiting in line like at Christmas time for the Fed Ex truck to get here,â&#x20AC;? said Cooper. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It was just funny because you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see [a gag gift like that] anywhere else.â&#x20AC;?

The same can be said of many of Cahoots gifts, which are what make the store so fun. Cooper and Tssanier got in on the fun over a decade ago when they purchased the store from founder and then-owner Bruce Daniger. As Cooper tells it, the two business partners and college friends wanted to do something different and more whimsical alongside their dry-cleaning business â&#x20AC;&#x201D; which has seven locations around the state, mostly in Park City. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot more fun than dry-cleaning,â&#x20AC;? Cooper laughed.

In the beginning, Cahoots was a Park City business, too. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The way it got started, he [Daniger] had a back room that he wanted to have a bookstore in, like an alternative bookstore,â&#x20AC;? Cooper explained. He and Tssanier took him up on the offer and the store did â&#x20AC;&#x153;fairly wellâ&#x20AC;? in its trendy mountain home. And when Daniger decided to sell, the duo also opened up a second store in the ultra-liberal 9th and 2 4â&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; QSa lt L a k eâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; issue 133â&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; July sk any

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9th neighborhood. (Marcus joined the team of owners at a later date). Owning the novelty shop was a different career for Cooper, who had graduated from Utah State University with a marketing degree and spent much of his postcollege career working for Sunn Classic Pictures, the company behind such films as The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, Chariot of the Gods and a number of movies about Sasquatch. And after purchasing the store, Cooper said he and the other owners just let it grow as it pleased, and as customers asked. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We kept basically the same format: the cards, gifts and adult room,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just evolved from that. Anything that people think might be fun to buy and sell, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what we do.â&#x20AC;?

Hence, the LDS shot glasses, the Dubbya T.P., T-shirts, figurines, balloons and, of course, the cards, which range from the filthy to the squeaky clean. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We always get different stuff in here too, so I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I could really say I have a favorite [item that we sell],â&#x20AC;? said Cooper, when asked what piece of merchandise appealed to him the most.

Although the store deals in some risquĂŠ items and plenty of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender-friendly items, Cooper said Cahoots caters to a diverse crowd, from gay and transgender revelers doing some Utah Pride Day shopping to straight couples to Mormons. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They may not go in the back room, but who knows?â&#x20AC;? Cooper laughed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everybody shops here. We see â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em all. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very friendly.â&#x20AC;?

Cooper credits the perennial popularity of novelty and card shops and the efforts of the storeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s current manager, Jo Boyce, with the businessâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ongoing success, even during the current recession. After all, when a store deals in â&#x20AC;&#x153;anything you can poke fun at,â&#x20AC;? itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s difficult to stay away. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And if people canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t laugh at that, they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to come in here,â&#x20AC;? he joked.

Cahoots is located at 878 E 900 South 23, 2009

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 25

Q A&E Gay Agenda Oh Lord!

by Tony Hobday

As a team-building exercise, Q threw a BBQSaltLake for its softball players. It was held in my backyard which has this intricate blowup swimming pool that only the tiniest of divers can do a reverse half-pike into without splitting their skull open. You shoud’ve seen how cute Michael, Jake and Matt were as they washed each other’s back in it and made bubbles rise to the surface. Oh lord!

23

thursDAY — Sponsored by Mischievous Pleasures and hosted by Club Edge is Summer Fantasy 09, a swimwear and underwear fashion show. The emcee will be Tattoo (from Fantasy Island, for you twinks who don’t know) — I can already hear him each time a model walks the walk, exclaiming “De plane, De plane!” while pointing at their crotches.

8pm, tonight & Saturday, Club Edge, 615 N. 400 West. Free, 801-755-6389.

QQ Depicting the debauchery of those in power, Stephanie Wilde: Harmed is a new art exhibit about loss: moral, financial and perhaps most disheartening, loss of faith in the corporate

world. Through the delicate beauty of her detailed ink, acrylic and gold leaf paintings, Wilde examines recent events that have resulted in a crisis of confidence in our corporate leaders and economic system.

Regular gallery hours, through Oct. 10, Salt Lake Art Center, 20 S. West Temple. Free, 801-328-4201 or slartcenter.org.

24

FRIDAY — Oh lord, those pesky Utah Bears are always causing a disturbance; so much so, they’ve made a freakin’ event out of it. Bear Ruckus is an annual event held in Idaho, where the Bears can frolick freely in tutus, hang rolls of Charmin from tree branches, lift people’s baskets and cover themselves in honey and jam without judgment or ridicule.

Through Monday, Lava Hot Springs ranch, 3399 S Old Highway 91, Mccammon, Idaho. Registration is required, fees $55/members or $65/ nonmembers, utahbears.com.

QQ Celebrating Utah’s boof-day in its own gay-chic pioneering way is Gossip’s Gays of 47. Party in your chaps, leather snaps and cowboy hats; boot scoot to DJ Naomi; and check out trailer trash extraordinaire, Nova Starr, as she brings you her fabulous trailer park drag show. Oh lord, I bet she gives away pickled pigs feet, pork rinds and Natural Light to the trashiest cowboy.

10pm, Gossip at Club Sound, 579 W. 200 South. gossipslc.com.

25

SATURDAY — Chole Noble and Jill Hardman have been walking and living the life of homelessness along the Pacific Northwest for weeks now.

Their mission is to bring a real sense of urgency to this nation’s homeless youth problem. The girls will be in Salt Lake today holding a rally, Operation Shine. This is a free, unless you want to donate to the cause, event and there will be guest speakers and a barbecue.

4–7pm, Utah Pride Center, 361 N. 300 West.

Free, 801-539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org.

26 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

QQ So after feeling good about supporting the end of homeless youth, jaunt down the street to Club Jam for their inaugural Muscle Jam Beach Party.

They’ll be handing out free swag and grillin’ some chicken; also, hard-ripped guys will be showing off their pecs, biceps, abs ... oh lord, I’m drooling just thinking about it!

9pm, Club Jam, 751 N. 300 West. Free, jamslc.com.

28

tuesDAY — For over a decade this five-man band has given us hits like “Hate Me” and “Into the Ocean.” Blue October is an alernative rock/post grunge band that oddly reverbrates a melancholic sound to many of their songs; and with the use of the violin, viola and mandolin, this is one group that shines with originality. Switchfoot and Longwave open.

7:00pm, Saltair, 12408 W. Salt Air Dr., Magna. Tickets $34/adv–35/day of, 801467-8499 or smithstix.com.

31

friDAY — Get your dirty paws on some leather at the Utah Rebellion. This annual leather and fetish event has great prizes to be raffled off including a $75 certificate to Bambara restaurant, Dog Dujour oil paintings, 9-inch leather boots and a hard wood paddle ... oh lord! Events include a Hot Men & Dark Spaces Play Party (oh lord!), and Rebel Alley Day Fair and Leather Party at Club Try-Angles.

Hours vary, through Sunday. To register, visit utahrebellion.com.

1

burly, straight-acting biker in the No Name Saloon ... oh lord!

9am, through Sunday, Historic Main St, Park City. Tickets $5–10, kimballartcenter.org.

2

sunDAY — Lined up in the Big Stars, Bright Nights concert series are Simone and Ryan Shaw.

Simone has more a.k.a. names than I do (a few of mine are Chippy, Boo Boo, Tbagger, Julia Childs) and she’s also a stage actress — played the leading lady in Aida and the role of Mimi in Rent. Shaw is a retro-soul singer with a powerful R&B voice and he’s played with great artists like Joss Stone. This should be a fabulous night of pop, funk, jazz and R&B. 7pm, Snow Park Amphitheater, Deer Valley Resort. Tickets $31–56, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.

4

tuesDAY — Spy Hop Productions premieres 10 short documentary films as part of it’s REEL Stories Documentary Arts Program.

The workshop program for young students is taught by out writer/director/producer Frank Feldman (Vapid Lovelies). Subjects of the films being screened range from the world’s largest marble collection to homosexuality to the current economic recession.

7pm, Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South. Free, 801-532-7500 or spyhop.org.

5

wednesDAY — Cirque du Soleil’s Saltimbanco (“to jump on a bench”) is a signature show inspired by the urban fabric of the metropolis and its colorful inhabitants.

Decidedly baroque in its visual vocabulary, the show’s eclectic cast of characters draws spectators into a fanciful, dreamlike world — an imaginary city where diversity is a cause for hope.

7:30pm, through Sunday, E Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Drive. Tickets $27–98, 800-7453000 or ticketmaster.com.

saturDAY — Well silkscreen my butt and call me Andy Warhol, it’s the 40th annual Park City Kimball Arts Festival. This really is a fabulous festival, though the past two years I’d spent too many hours on the Wasatch Brewery patio, had been detained by police officers for my notAUG. 25 so-concealed sterling silver handgun SEP. 01 belt buckle and had been hit on by a SEP. 26 NOV. 20 NOV. 21

UPCOMING

Depeche Mode, E Center Dave Matthews Band, USANA The Killers, E Center Elton John & Billy Joel, ESA Kathy Griffin, Abravanel Hall

Utah Festival Opera Celebrates Genius

By Michael Aaron

M

ballam opened the Utah Festival Opera’s 17th season Thursday, July 8 on a somber, even tearful note.

He noted that he hated curtain speeches, but made an exception for two reasons: to dedicate the season to Larry H. Miller and to make a familiar plea in the arts — help them weather the economic downturn.

Ballam, the company’s founder and general director, revealed that principal donor “Anonymous,” since the inception of the festival opera, was none-other than Larry H. Miller. While Miller wasn’t exactly an opera enthusiast, Ballam said, he loved to “celebrate genius.” He told a story of how Miller was brought to tears while watching his first opera — not because of the story or the music, but because of its genius.

The Utah Festival Opera is in itself a bit of genius. The vision of Ballam and the fact that he could sell ice to Eskimos has fueled the success of the festival in little Logan, Utah. Ballam, as he likes to do during pre-production talks, asked the audience of this year’s opening show where they were from. Logan?

About a fifth raised their hands. Cache County, but not Logan? Another fifth.

Utah? Another fifth. Outside Utah? 40 percent of the audience raised their hands. Obviously, the festival is good for tourism in Logan.

Part of the genius of UFO is its timing. Summer is generally a down-time for opera companies around the country. Hungry young artists, as well as seasoned artists looking for rehearsal opportunities, now clamor to audition for the festival. Back in the early days, Ballam found it difficult to find singers to spend 12 weeks in Logan, Utah. Now, he has to cap the auditions at 1,000 at 26 different locations around the country.

All of which he attends to. ichael

This year, the festival brings Bizet’s Carmen, Lerner and Loewe’s Camelot, Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado and a double-bill of Leoncavallo’s I Pagliachi and Mascagni’s Cavalleria Rusticana. All of the shows are staged in the beautifully-restored 1,100 seat Ellen Eccles Theatre, whose phoenix murals on the walls give hint to the building’s history. The festival shows two productions daily, Wednesday through Saturday, allowing opera lovers to see the entire series in just two days, or four if sitting through 14 hours of opera in two days is too much for one to handle.

Ballam offers many opportunities to interact with the performers, with after-show lines in the outdoor café and Saturday mornings’ “Breakfast with the Stars.” Thursday and Saturday mornings, the festival conducts backstage tours as well.

Carmen Carmen is filled with some of the most recognizable music of any opera. Bizet died thinking Carmen was a failure, as its first year saw miserable ticket sales.

Created as an opera-comique — generally lighthearted with spoken dialogue — it was reworked after Bizet’s death into a full-scale opera and became immediately successful.

Mezzo soprano Audrey Babcock plays the protagonist femme fatale with a sultry, sensual performance which is equally about her body and movement as it is about her intense and rich vocals.

Tenor Jason Baldwin warmed to an extraordinary, booming finish.

The spark of love-at-first-sight simply wasn’t there in the first act, but by the third the chemistry began to flow and his haunting “Flower Song” was heartwrenching.

Especially delicious in this production was the quintet in the first act,

Save the Date

August 8 Beach Party by Day, Underwear Party by Night, Club Try-Angles

July 24–26 Utah Bear ruckus utahbears.com

August 19 Equality Utah Allies Dinner equalityutah.org

Major Events of the Community

July 31–August 2 Utah rebellion utahrebellion.com August 1–2 Park City Arts Festival kimball-art.org August 7–8 Women’s redrock Music Festival, Torrey redrockwomensfest.com

August 16 QSaltLake Lagoon Day, qsaltlake.com

August 30 Center’s Golf Classic utahpridecenter.org September 9 Pride in Pink: After Hours utahpridecenter.org September 11 PWACU An Evening of Laughter, pwacu.org

September 18–20 Affirmation Annual Conference affirmation.org September 19 UAF Walk for Life utahaids.org October 10 National Coming out Day Celebration utahpridecenter.org October 17–21 PWACU Living with AIDS Conference, pwacu.org

Email arts@qsaltlake.com for consideration to be included in Save the Date.

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 27

“nous Avons En Tête Une Affaire.” You held your breath through the whole song, thinking it could go terribly wrong, but it couldn’t have been more beautifully performed.

Conductor Barbara Day Turner is a huge asset to the company. Leading an orchestra of instrumentalists from around the country in the first performance of the festival would have overwhelmed a less-seasoned director, but she pulled it through as some of the choruses, especially those with children singers, started to turn south.

The set and costumes added to the legitimacy of the production — allowing the performers to be the stars without getting in the way.

Camelot

Ballam tells a story of how he got the set for Camelot from a traveling production that was going to destroy it, along with the costumes, after the show’s run. He got himself backstage and walked off the measurements of the set — perfect for the Ellen Eccles stage. He struck a deal with the show’s producer that not only

got him a free set, but a portion of rental fees as well. And the set is exquisite.

More exquisite, however, is baritone Josh Powell’s performance as Arthur — from the insecure and naïve young king to the conflicted, yet hopeful, idealistic ruler. Powell seemed made for the role — though it should be disclosed that we happened to be seated next to his girlfriend.

Ballam’s soprano daughter, Vanessa was impressive as Guenevere, Arthur’s arranged wife with whom he falls desperately in love.

Sir Lancelot was played by baritone Mark Womack, whom we’d seen the night before as the matador in Carmen.

He pulled off the role of the self-assured French knight with humor and a great set of lungs.

James Arrington was almost a show-stealer with his whimsical dual performances as Merlin and King Pelinore. Q Utah Festival Opera runs Wednesdays through Saturdays through August 8. More info can be found at ufoc.org.

SWING ON OVER TO

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Ask about the Monkey Madness discount by July 31 and this year’s hotel package!

by Tony Hobday

F

2007, miles Qs alt l ake ’ s food critic . h e knew food ; he loVed food — perhaps too much. then last year, at the age of 28 and weighing approXimately 260 pounds, miles made a life-changing decision.

On June 29 Oxygen’s original series Dance Your Ass Off, a weight loss/ dance competition, debuted as the biggest premiere in the cable network’s history. A featured contestant on the hit series is none other than Utah’s own Miles Broadhead. In a recent interview with QSaltLake, Broadhead said of the premiere, “It’s a big accomplishment right out of the gate.”

“I think we [the show cast] were unfairly judged in the beginning because people would hear the concept of the show and then make an assumption,” Broadhead elaborated. “And when we came out of the gate, people realized it was not only entertaining but it [the show] really does have a good message.”

Out of thousands of applicants, then out of 30 chosen for auditions, Broadhead is one of only 12 contestants selected to compete on the show. “Believe it or not I found the show on Craigslist,” or a short period in

b roadhead

was

he admitted. “I had a super bad day at work and I was just surfing away and found the link to the show and applied.

About two days later the casting director contacted me, and before I knew it I was out in L.A.” “It’s interesting because I’m not a professional dancer,” he continued. “I don’t really have any dance training, so I don’t honestly know how I ended up on the show. I hope I’m doing a good job so far.”

So far, he seems to be doing a good job now that he’s made it through the third week (episode three aired July 13) with a total combined weight loss of nearly 15 pounds. But the weight loss alone won’t garner him the $100,000 grand prize; he must also impress a panel of judges — Danny Teeson, Lisa Ann Walters and Mayte Garcia — with his dance skills.

Each contestant is paired with a professional dancer, and Broadhead said of his partner, “Oh my gosh, let me tell you that my dance partner would probably turn me straight if she tried hard enough.” Then laughing, “I mean she really is the whole package. She knew exactly how to pitch me around.

She knew how to choreograph me, she wouldn’t let me quit. She kind of knew

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MITCH HAASETH / oXyGEN

Miles Broadhead Broadens Principles, Shrinks Belly

how to manage me and that’s kind of a hard thing to do.”

Broadhead has received mostly favorable scores from the judges in the competition thus far; and though Walters called his footwork “sloppy” in the July 13 episode, his highly entertaining ... and revealing ... pole dance performance to Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” placed him in second place for the night.

When asked what he would do with the $100,000, Broadhead responded, “If I won the money I would definitely help out my family. I realized throughout this process how supportive and amazing they are to me. And I’ve always dreamed of taking my brother to France for his culinary school graduation. I would do something like that.”

There are a number of reasons why the 12 chosen contestants tried out for the show, but most important (and likely at the core of the show) were health reasons. According to his “home audition” tape, Broadhead, at age 9, lost his father to complications from obesity, and he is absolutely determined not to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Another Utah contestant, Warren Workman from Orem, indicated he was being selfish to his two children by living on the verge of death from his unseemly obesity. However, Workman didn’t make it through the second week of the competition; with the lowest combined total of weight loss and dance score, he went home to his children.

“Warren is one of my dearest friends,” answered Broadhead when asked of his 28 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July

feelings over Workman’s departure. “I mean, honestly, you live with people in that close of quarters, under those circumstances and you just make these amazing bonds. And he is the sweetest and most grounded person that I know.

It was sad when he was eliminated but, you know, being a father ... I mean I won’t speak for him, but I know that he did have struggles [being away from his children]. But for him to come on that show and gain the knowledge that he gained saved his life, guaranteed.”

With only nine contestants left, Broadhead is gaining on the $100,000 prize and losing the weight he needs and wants to lose. Now that Broadhead is back in Utah, he said he’s watching the show religiously and working at a small, local business.

“It’s going to make you laugh,” he said when asked where he’s working.

“But right now I work at a coffee & cupcake shop. It’s rough working around cupcakes all the time but let me tell you I haven’t cheated once.”

“This show has completely transformed my life,” Broadhead said with conviction. “Exercising is way more important to me, eating right is way more important to me. It is very important to me to keep those principles I learned on the show.” Q

As of July 20, Miles Broadhead has made it through week 4 of the series, now one of only two male contestants remaining (both happen to be gay — how fabulous!). Dance Your Ass Off airs Mondays at 8 p.m. MDT on the Oxygen cable network.

23, 2009

Q %BZ BU -BHPPO

Movie Review BrĂźno

by David Alder

I

had already gotten an earful

about BrĂźno â&#x20AC;&#x201D; GLAAD spoke out against it, many people were offended by it, and so on â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just what I do ... even for the stinkers.

By and large, we dismissed the antiSemitic humor in Borat because ... well, Sacha Baron Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Jew. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s permitted to make fun of his own, right?

Well, now that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gone outside of his own minority group, the question remains if he can (or should) do it with queer people in his sights â&#x20AC;&#x201D; especially these days. Is Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usual tacky and potentially harmful approach justifiable? The one word to describe Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s body of work thus far is â&#x20AC;&#x153;hyperbolic,â&#x20AC;? so why would sexual identity and gender expression be subjected to any lessstringent examination under his satirical microscope than racism was? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s socio-political rhetoric that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s into, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clear right from the start.

BrĂźno Gehard (pronounced Gayhard) is a svelte, over-the-top Austrian fashionista who has made his way to the top setting the trend for anyone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;in.â&#x20AC;? His show, Funkytime with BrĂźno, is number one in all Germanspeaking countries (except Germany). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Why is Autism in?â&#x20AC;? asks the flamboyant BrĂźno. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny!â&#x20AC;? replies a guest on his show. (Factoid: Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cousin is a professor at Cambridge, researching Autism).

After a horribly botched interview at a Milan fashion show, BrĂźno is summarily fired, leaving him an outcast. He desperately attempts â&#x20AC;&#x201D; with the help of his hapless â&#x20AC;&#x153;assistantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assistantâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; to regain fame and status, but this time in America. He â&#x20AC;&#x153;interviewsâ&#x20AC;? Paula Abdul and Harrison Ford; he pitches his show to a focus group in Los Angeles, much to their distaste; he arranges a fake interview with unwitting 2008 presidential candidate, Ron Paul, to make a sex tape; he even asks a known terrorist to â&#x20AC;&#x153;kidnapâ&#x20AC;? him ... all in the hope that he would return to the limelight.

BrĂźno comes to the epiphany: â&#x20AC;&#x153;If I can be straight, I can be famous!â&#x20AC;?

Completely oblivious to the fact that his Austrian pupil is as nancy as they come, BrĂźnoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self-defense instructor, an Alabama redneck (complete with mullet), instructs him through various means to defend against a gay guy who might attack him from behind. (The â&#x20AC;&#x153;niceâ&#x20AC;? ones do, apparently). BrĂźno then asks how he might defend against a homo ... if he had a dildo. Starting to get the idea?

Many complain that BrĂźno is staged in numerous points, but that really

doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter. Cohenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guerilla-mockumentary antics have so entered public consciousness as a result of Boratâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s success and novelty that it has now become nigh unto impossible to keep his interviewees unaware of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going on. It seems almost everyone is â&#x20AC;&#x153;acting,â&#x20AC;? mugging for the camera nearly any chance possible. Staging things to some degree mightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been the only way to pull it off.

With each victim of the bizarre bait-and-switch scenarios he sets up, Cohen lays bare the systemic sexism, homophobia and violence in America.

The amount of screen time used to set up his point feels inordinately long, but to his credit, Cohen goes to impressive lengths to make completely unsuspecting audiences wiggle in discomfort to strengthen the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impact. And as the parade of ridiculous leather outfits squeak in the awkward silences throughout, you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but laugh.

At least I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

BrĂźnoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s search for fame and fortune is a parallel to our own fight for privilege in a patriarchal society that would rather have the LGBTQ community remain as either second-class citizens or disappear altogether. BrĂźno is definitely polarizing, and whether you appreciate it or not is entirely dependent on your viewpoint: the story is either a triumph of personal freedom and love over oppressive societal rules, or itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an exploitative punch in the gut.

BrĂźno isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t about homosexuality. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about a social misfit who raises a ruckus and takes on the empowering role of the soothsayer â&#x20AC;&#x201D; someone who mercilessly holds up a mirror to an apathetic society that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to challenge the status quo. Cohen knows that by doing so, it might do some good; it might get people talking, or better yet, thinking! And like it or hate it, that makes for some daring cinema.â&#x20AC;&#x201A; Q

July 23 , 20 09â&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; issue 133â&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; QSa lt L a k eâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; 29

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Please join us for the 10th annual Utah Pride Center Golf Classic Sunday, August 30, 2009 Stonebridge Golf Club Please register online at www.utahpridecenter.org $110.00 per person registration MUST be received by August 14th Sponsorship opportunities available!

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Friday, August 28, 2009 for a Party on the Patio Club JAM (751 N 300 W) ~ $10.00 per person Food, Prizes, and Entertainment ~ All proceeds benefit the programs and services of the Utah Pride Center The Utah Pride Center is a community-based organization that provides support, education, outreach and advocacy for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer individuals and their allies, through programs, services and resources.

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The First Annual Craft Lake City Festival Saturday, August 8, 2009 The Gallivan Center in SLC Booths from over 70 2pm-10pm FREE! regional artists!

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FUNKIFIED CLASSICAL

Indigo Girls Celebrate Two Decades of Music

by Tony Hobday

O

90 degree eVening over 3000 ecstatic fans crowded into the newly renovated Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre located high on the hill of University of Utah’s south campus to enjoy the Indigo Girls sold out concert. Even a number of ticket-less fans sat on the knolls surrounding the venue for a listen to the Grammy-winning duo.

Because of last year’s multimillion dollar renovation, the amphitheatre is now larger, the new stage shaped like the rear ramp of a cargo plane and the once u-shape line of port-a-potties has been replaced by large, easily accessible permanent bathrooms. However, what little shade-providing foliage the general lawn-seating venue once had has now been replaced by a number of table umbrellas located on a terrace at the back of the venue that only “VIP” members are lucky enough to take cover under.

Thankfully the rest of the crowd had to weather the extreme temperature for only a short time as a sheet of clouds drew in to hide the sun just as Gregory Alan Isakov took stage as the opening act. Also a folk singer/songwriter with a strong lyrical sense to his work, Isakov is a great accompaniment to the espewomens fest q Indigo ad.pdf Girls, 1 7/20/09 n a parching

cially as witnessed later in the evening when he returned onstage to sing with the Girls. One audience member said of the Boulder, Colo.-based artist, “His voice sounds a bit like Bruce Springsteen,” but dipped in honey. Isakov has also toured with such artists as Fiona Apple and Ani DiFranco.

At approximately 8:15 p.m., as the temperature dropped to comfort, Amy Ray and Emily Saliers walked on stage to a roaring crowd. They opened with “Love of Our Lives,” a bittersweet single from their new independent album Poseidon and the Bitter Bug – a tribute, if you will, to the need and desire for love and the rights that should come with it – and immediately followed by Amy expressing to the crowd, “You look beautiful out there!” which heaved another jovial cheer.

The Girls didn’t forgo some of their biggest 1:57 PMhits unlike many tenured artists

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 1

tend to do; yet another reason the Girls’ loyal fan base doesn’t alter from disappointment. Early into the concert, the Girls electrified the audience with an energized performance of “Least Complicated” from 1994’s Swamp Ophelia. They moved on stage as if mirror images of each other, and encouraged the crowd to sing along, which it ecstatically obliged – as it did again, shortly thereafter, with another hit “Power of Two.”

The evening proceeded on, rather too quickly though, and as audience members celebrated decades of the Indigo Girls – including 1992’s “Galileo,” 1997’s “Get Out The Map” and 2009’s “Ghost of the Gang” – over picnics and conversation with friends and acquaintances, there was a sense of ease and community that took over that only masters of performance, like Amy and Emily, can conjure. Q

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Cocktail Chatter The Best Bartending Books

by Camper English

Whether it’s a lack of money or an excess of agoraphobia, you’ve decided to start making more cocktails at home. But there are so very many recipe books on the market. Which do you choose, and do you really need them at all, now that everything is online?

The problem with online drink databases is that they have thousands of recipes, and most of them are just plain awful. The recipes come from many different sources, so you end up with 17 bad recipes for the martini when you’re only looking for one good one. Also, to make the drinks you end up running back and forth between the computer where the recipes are and the kitchen where the ingredients are.

When it comes to collections of recipes, I say less is more. A book with 10,000 drink recipes in it will likely have 9,500 that you’d never try. Even the classic, 1500-drink Mr. Boston

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Official Bartender’s Guide was pretty lousy with bad cocktails until this year’s makeover which eliminated a lot of the calls for pre-mixes like Collins mix and sour mix. That book is a good bartender’s quick reference, but if you want and the Master’s level study on bartending pick up Gary Regan’s very detailed The Joy of Mixology.

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Camper English is a writer at Alcademics.com.

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Haasarud’s 101 Champagne Cocktails and Jeff “Beachbum” Berry’s Sippin’ Safari for rum.

You can also find many of Beachbum’s recipes on an iPhone application, called Tiki+. It was developed by the same people behind great historical cocktail recipe application called Cocktails+. Gary Regan, cited above, released the application Flip N Drink with classic and modern recipes combined.

The great thing about these drink applications is most of them offer only as many recipes as you’ll find in a book, rather than the tens of thousands you’ll find online. This is certainly useful when you’re out at a bar and forget a recipe, but I still find myself reaching for the hard copy instead of my phone at home. Not only do I like all the extra information about glassware and mixing technique you get from the books, I also strongly dislike getting my phone all sticky when trying to hold it and shake a drink at the same time.

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Rearrange the letters below to answer:

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Anagram

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SUNDAYS

nerdy drink question, but not when I’m whipping up something tasty for happy hour.

For that, most often I turn to Dale DeGroff’s The Essential Cocktail.

It has all the classic recipes you’ll need.

But if I’m feeling in the mood for experimentation with new drinks, I’ll pick up Robert Hess’s The Essential Bartender’s Guide (it’s not, but the recipes are good) or the inspiring The Art of the Bar

by Jeff Hollinger and Rob Schwartz.

That book will make you realize the kitchen and the bar are not so different — you’re just cooking with liquids instead of solids.

If you love a particular spirit, you can just skip the rest of the recipes and go for a specialty book like W. Park Kerr’s Viva Vodka, which is nice, as is Joanne Weir’s Tequila, Kim

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July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 7

Q Puzzle

Hot to Trot

Across 1 Sweaty guys get pinned to them 5 Sites for three women in a tub 9 It’s a bust 14 Need a massage 15 Whitman’s “When Lilacs ___ in the Dooryard Bloom’d” 16 Gertrude’s partner 17 Legal wrong 18 “___ put it another way ...”

19 Takes a breather 20 Soldier’s stud?

23 Nuts 24 Roz of Frasier 25 Halloween cry 28 Fast flier of old 29 Randy’s skating partner 31 Bernie Taupin’s contributions 33 Susie of lesbian erotica 36 Island of Diamond Head Beach 37 Come-on after following a gay guy?

41 Club for Sheehan 42 Chased (away) 43 Like Jay’s Bob 46 Roast beef au ___ 47 Actor Mineo 50 One of the Stooges

51 Scarlett off Gone With the Wind 54 Frank behind the scenes 56 Freedom to read Capote?

58 Moisten boxers 61 “Even ___ speak” 62 Non-Judy garlands 63 He gives gifts in stockings 64 Prick 65 Roughly 66 Best example 67 Comic-juggler Felder 68 Waters down Down 1 Figure skater Doug 2 Nuts of a tall one 3 It’s deep in a movie title 4 ___ Hall University 5 Fruit flavor for gin 6 Shining examples 7 Prefix with physics 8 White’s A Boy’s Own ___ 9 Frank of the House 10 Jackie’s designer 11 Liza, to Lorna 12 Sept. follower 13 Month in Madrid 21 Dish name 22 Not in the pink 25 Antigay prejudice, e.g.

26 Phil of folk music

27 Home of the Buckeyes 30 Be under the weather 32 Yellow-brick way 33 Undoing 34 Skeptical ejaculation 35 Homeric subject 37 Threesome 38 Tevye, to Harvey 39 “___ go, girl!”

40 Joe of JFK 41 Belief system 44 Tom Wilkinson film about a transsexual 45 Day before saying “TGIF” 47 Half of a pair of balls 48 Nancy Azara, for example 49 Rodeo ropes 52 Gather up 53 Bob Marley, e.g.

55 Tickled pink 56 “See ya” 57 C&W star McEntire 58 CBS show in which semen may be evidence 59 Way cool 60 Hydrocarbon suffix answers on p. 43

Cryptogram

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached.

This week’s hint: G = C Theme: Quote by Adm. Mike Mullen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on the military ban.

An’c dpwm gqphw orhn Vwpcaupfn Sjhih’c afnpfn rpwp ac. Rp afnpfuc ns cpp nrac qho grhfbp.

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3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 133 | July 23 , 20 09

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The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear

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sex, but was feeling for wallets. Luckily mine was in a deep pocket down by my kneecap and she missed it. I cried out for him to watch his wallet, but I was just a split second too late. Quick as a flash, his wallet was in her hand and passed deftly off to the other hooker, and they disappeared into a waiting getaway car just like in a scene from Mission Impossible. This all happened faster than I can make a dildo do a standard “disappearing act” into my “personal vault,” (Perhaps THERE is where we should carry our purses for safe keeping.)

Later that night I was being adventurous, so I ditched my roommate and went exploring on my own; after all I was a queen in her prime and in Rio for God’s sake! As I proceeded along the boulevard, I passed a stunningly handsome 20-something Brazilian boy going the other way. My pulse quickened and my senses heightened, as I quickly shifted from tourist mode into cruising mode. This guy could easily have been another mugger, but he was hot, hot, hot and I was horny as hell so my primal urges overcame any common sense. We gave each other a furtive glance as we passed. When our eyes met, we both held the gaze just a split second longer than a straight guy would, thereby identifying a companion hunter on the prowl, or at the very least a fellow “Friend of Dorothy” out searching for some ruby slippers.

I slowed my stride and held my breath

Cryptogram: It’s very clear what President Obama’s intent here is. He intends to see this law change.

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Copacabana Beach is fraught with danger and ­excitement.

My trip to Brazil with the community choir that I told you about last month was so eventful that I simply must share more of the colorful highlights from that tour.

After a full day of gawking at the deliciously toned, tanned and Speedo-clad hunks on Copacabana Beach, I ventured out with my roommate among the multitude of street vendors who set out their touristy kitsch as evening fell. I was in shopping heaven surrounded by colorful and sparkly things, and my motto became “Shop till you drop.” As we strolled along the famed mosaic promenade, two “Ladies of the Evening” approached us.

I was immediately curious because I wanted to know where she got her faaabulous stiletto pumps. Before I could even check her shoe size, she had draped herself over me, curving her leg up around my ass, and her hands were traveling places on my body that I reserve for only the hunkiest of men. All the while she was speaking in Portuguese and using body language to ask if I wanted a roll in the hay. Of course I protested and tried to push the trollop off me, but my arms were filled with shopping bags, so my defenses were stifled. Only after I received a thorough groping of my “family jewels” did she leave me and go after my friend. As she started groping my roommate, I realized she was not really after he road to

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as I glanced slyly over my shoulder to see where he was going. To my delight, he had also slowed his pace and was glancing over his shoulder as well.

Not wanting to appear too anxious, I stopped walking and performed the time honored yet dependable cruising decoy of pretending to look into the store windows. Like a good little cruiser, he mimicked my actions. To confirm that he had only the nicest of dishonorable intensions toward me, I coyly reached down and adjusted my “family jewels” (which were growing anxious I might add) while keeping an eye on him. Glory be and saints be praised because he also adjusted his “jewels.” Then, as if on a cue from Mother Nature’s clock, much like the instinctual migration of gazelle, we both circled around and sat cautiously side by side on a nearby bench to seal the deal.

He could only speak a little English but it was enough because the language and choreography of cruising is apparently international. He wanted to come back to my hotel with me, but I was sharing a room with another choir member so that was not an option. Then he suggested that we go to a “Honeymoon Hotel” that rents rooms by the hour, no questions asked. Apparently there are several of these convenient facilities located throughout the tourist district. We adjourned to said hotel. I paid $5 and got a room for an hour. To my dismay, the hotel resembled the Turkish prison in Midnight Express, but what’s a desperately horny queen on a budget to do but decide that room decor was not a priority at the moment? My Brazilian bombshell then laid me gently on the bed and proceeded to demonstrate “the horizontal mambo” while the curtains blew gently in the breeze and all the while I sang “Sweet Mystery Of Life I’ve Finally Found You.” After what I would describe as a legendary “mambo session,” I sadly bid my Brazilian stud-muffin farewell and returned to my hotel, trying desperately to hide “that freshly fucked afterglow” from my roommate. Curiously, during our choir concert later that week, I had never been in better voice.

Like always these events leave us with many eternal questions: 1. Does what happens in Rio stay in Rio? 2. How many hookers does it take to steal a wallet?

3. Do they make dildo shaped purses for easy concealment?

4. Does this mean I may not wear white at my wedding?

5. Is cruising instinctual, or is it just that I’ve had lots and lots of practice?

6. Should the Tabernacle Choir be using “Sweet Mystery of Life” for an audition song?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.

July 23 , 20 09 | issue 133 | QSa lt L a k e | 43

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