QSaltLake | 221 | August 2013

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UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

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August 2013 Issue 221

what doma and prop 8 rulings mean to gay utahns utah couples challenging amendment 3 utah pride parade winners cyndi lauper interview

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4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | STAFF

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST PERSON

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

from the publisher

Four-legged family members

BY MICHAEL AARON

Canis lupus

familiaris can always be found at my house. I am a huge lover of the gray wolf subspecies. Did you know that dogs were the first domesticated animal? Okay, but did you know that “dog” often refers to the male of the species, while “bitch” refers to the female?

Okay, enough Wikipedia for the night.

Sorry about that.

There have been few times in my life where there wasn’t a dog at my side. Those times involved college, living in an apartment, and lack of funds for anything more than ramen noodles.

When I bought my house in 1990 (I was four), one of the first things I did was run down to the Humane Society and peruse the pups. One caught my eye and knew it. She looked into my eyes and softly bayed as only a husky can do. I apparently inherently knew Huskinese already, because I could tall she was telling me that she would give me 13 fantastic, love-filled years. We would have 13 years of camping, running around with sticks, and just lying in the living room watching movies.

While my second dog came to me as a runt of a litter of Chow Chows, she also brought me much joy. The three of us, and whomever boyfriend happened to be living with us at the time, were family with a bond no one would dare break. Except for the boyfriends.

While Priscilla and Xena are now but fond memories, Vixen (another Humane Society rescue) is sitting by me as I write this. Truthfully, she is afraid of the impending storm that she knows will have her cowering at my feet, but I like to think she just kinda likes me.

And now there’s Sandy. The feline. Felis silvestris catus. Mouse and fly hunter extraordinaire. Did you know domestic cats are descended from African wildcats (Felis silvestris lybica) c. 8000 BCE, in the Middle East? Sorry again.

I never thought I was a cat person.

Frankly, I’m allergic to most of them. But not this one. Nor Spike and Brandy as I

was growing up.

But Sandy is not like those cats that look down their nose at you and allow you, hesitantly, to fulfill their every need. She’s not one of those that hides until she wants something.

No, Sandy is a lover. She loves to lie next to me, legs hanging off the desk and face up against a stack of papers I will eventually get to (or throw away), while I work.

She is more like a dog than a cat, in that she loves to be touched and manhandled.

She even fetches. Rubber bands. Where she finds them, I don’t know.

But the topic of this rambling column is that I have collected two- and four-legged A rescued animal family in your life members pays you back for as long as I can in spades times remember. infinity.

The greatest feeling, however, is when I have rescued this family member from certain death. You see, Priscilla was four weeks past her “drop dead” date. But the people at the Human Society knew she would be a right fit in someone’s family.

They were just waiting for me to wander on in. Even Xena was destined for the shelter, as the family who had her was leaving town. Sandy? She has three pages of notes detailing the measures the Utah Humane Society took to keep her alive. Today, she is a healthy, happy addition to our family.

Now if she would just be less finicky over what she is fed. Ugh. An animal in your life pays you back in spades for taking care of them. A rescued animal in your life pays you back in spades times infinity.

Now that I am done with this final column of the issue, Vixen and I are going to go get prepared to go camping. There is nothing she would rather do, with me. And for that, I’m eternally grateful. Q

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Supreme Court rules against DOMA, Prop 8 The U.S. Supreme Court declared a portion of the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional in a 5–4 vote. Justice Kennedy wrote the opinion and was joined by the four liberal Justices — Ginsburg, Breyer, Sotomayor and Kagan. The Court also said plaintiffs in California’s Prop 8 lacked standing, allowing a lower court ruling to stand. Prop 8 proponents are suing in an attempt to stop same-sex marriages from proceeding, but the California Supreme Court denied the request to stay the marriages.

Marine Corps approves uniforms for San Diego Pride Marines and sailors with the I Marine Expeditionary Force, based in Camp Pendleton, California, were officially authorized to wear their uniforms in the San Diego Pride Parade being held on July 13.

Penn. AG will not defend ban on same-sex marriage Pennsylvania’s elected attorney general, Democrat Kathleen Kane, said Thursday that she won’t defend the law that bans same-sex marriage in a federal case brought by the American Civil Liberties Union and others.

It is now up to Republican Gov. Tom Corbett to defend the case, should he decide to do so.

Kane is supports same-sex marriage, while Corbett is opposed. Both were named in a lawsuit filed in federal court Tuesday seeking to overturn the law and legalize same-sex marriage in Pennsylvania.

With Hatch support, transinclusive ENDA clears Senate committee On Wednesday, the U.S. Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee approved the Employment Non-Discrim-

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)

ination Act, which provides federal workplace protections for gay and transgender Americans, on a 15–7 vote. Three Republican senators, Mark Kirk of Illinois, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska and Utah’s Orrin Hatch joined all 12 Democrats on the committee in passing the bill. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., has indicated that he expects the full Senate to consider the bill later this year.

This marks the first time that a transinclusive version of ENDA has ever passed the committee.

Hatch supported the bill because of the religious protections it included.

Indiana makes application for same-sex marriage a felony Indiana lawmakers have revamped a 1997 law that makes furnishing false information on a marriage license a class D felony.

Beginning July 1, 2014, a same-sex couple applying for a marriage license in the state of Indiana will be guilty of a Level 6 felony, punishable by 18 months in prison and a $10,000 fine. The new law also makes it a Class B Misdemeanor for a clergyman, judge, mayor, city clerk or town clerktreasurer to perform a same-sex marriage, punishable by up to 180 days in jail and a fine of up to $1,000. Any clerk who issues a license to a same-sex couple would also be guilty of a Class B Misdemeanor.

Arizona pastor encourages death penalty for homosexuals.

Steven Anderson, pastor of the fundamentalist Faithful Word Baptist Church appeared on an Irish radio broadcast on July 2, 2013. In addition to saying he is not, “an effeminate man who lets my wife boss me around,” he also suggested that the government should enforce his interpretations of

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Bible doctrine and use the death penalty on homosexuals.

“Well, the Bible actually teaches that gays should be executed… now, I’m not saying that I would ever kill anyone, because I never would, but I believe that the government should use the death penalty on murderers, rapists, homosexuals, and… that’s what the Bible teaches very clearly.”

Lesbians more likely to live in poverty, study shows A recent study released by the Williams Institute at the University of California Los Angeles School of Law indicates that a higher proportion of lesbians live in poverty than heterosexual women, 23 percent as compared to 21 percent. The study also shows that roughly 21 percent of gay men live in poverty, as compared with 15 percent of heterosexual men.

For lesbians, the income disparity is attributed to both prejudice against gays and to historically lower pay for women. The National Women’s Law Center in Washington, D.C. estimates that women working full-time earn 77 cents for every dollar paid to men in the same jobs. Women in same-sex couples have a median personal income of $38,000 compared to $47,000 for men in same-sex couples and $48,000 for men in heterosexual couples, according to NWLC data.

Trans women win employment discrimination suits using Civil Rights Act In what advocates hail as a historic first, the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has ruled in favor of a transgender woman who was subjected to physical and verbal harassment at her job with a federal contractor in Maryland.

After a full investigation, the EEOC ruled that supervisors failed to intervene even when they were informed of the harassment, creating a hostile workplace and violating the employee’s rights as protected by the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

The woman, who has not been publicly identified, filed a complaint with the EEOC last year, following a landmark decision last April declaring that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act extends to transgender people who are harassed on the basis of their sex. Title VII prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

JEFF WILLIAMS 801 .971.6287 801.

717 S 300 W, STE. D, SLC

Report: UofU, VA hospitals rank high on LGBT treatment

The VA Salt Lake City Health Care System was ranked as a leader in their treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender patients in a report by the Human Rights Campaign Fund. The report also shows very favorable ratings for all clinics and hospitals run by the University of Utah Health Care System.

The report measures whether a hospital or clinic has a policy of patient nondiscrimination, allows visitation by LGBT partners of a patient, has a nondiscrimination policy for employees, and whether to provider has LGBT-specific training.

No other Utah hospitals, clinics of health care systems chose to submit responses to the HRC research team.

Salt Lake’s VA Hospital ranked perfect across the board, as did most VAs across the country. The UofU Health Care System only lacked training in LGBT issues.

“In the wake of the 2011 repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ the U.S. Veterans Health Administration, the largest integrated healthcare system in the United States, created a work group to identify ways to optimize care for the nation’s LGBT veterans,” the report explained. “This intensive outreach was successful: 120 of the VA medical centers, or nearly 80%, voluntarily participated in the HEI. And an impressive 91 of them, or 76%, were awarded HEI 2013 Equality Leader status.”

In a 2010 study done by Lambda Legal, 73 percent of transgender respondents and 29 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual respondents reported that they believed they would be treated differently by medical personnel because of their LGBT status.

Also, 52 percent of transgender respondents and 9 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual respondents reported that they believed they would actually be refused medical services because they are gay or transgender. Q

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10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

What DOMA and Prop 8 rulings mean to Utah gay couples

BY MICHAEL AARON

As the U.S. Supreme Court handed down decisions on the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8, questions immediately arose when it comes to legally married gay and lesbian couples in states like Utah that do not legally recognize the relationships.

As for marriage itself in Utah, the future will likely play out in federal court, where several couples have joined a lawsuit challenging Utah constitutional amendment 3 that defines marriage as between a man and a woman and forbids recognition of civil unions.

But what about the myriad of other federal benefits that come with marriage, such as immigration issues, insurance, Medicare and even how state taxes are to be filed when a same-sex couple files their federal returns jointly?

Embattled Utah Attorney General John Swallow is leading the charge on defending Utah’s Amendment 3, and has stated that the DOMA and Prop 8 decisions will mean little to the state of Utah. He believes Utah still has the right to define marriage as it “sees fit.”

“In a nutshell, DOMA will not affect us,” he said.

But that may not be entirely true.

IMMIGRATION Within days of the decisions, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services was ordered to consider same-sex marriage visa petitions, even in states that don’t recog-

nize the unions.

“I have directed U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to review immigration visa petitions filed on behalf of a same-sex spouse in the same manner as those filed on behalf of an opposite-sex spouse,” U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said in a statement.

According to the new procedures, USCIS will look to the law of the place where the marriage took place in determining its validity in immigration law. That means if a couple was married in a U.S. state that recognizes same-sex marriage, but lives in a state that does not, the couple’s petition for an immigration visa will still be considered.

According to estimates based on U.S. Census data, this will affect 30,000 samesex, binational couples.

A landmark immigration reform bill passed by the U.S. Senate almost stalled out because of a proposal to allow U.S. citizens and legal permanent residents to sponsor their same-sex spouse for immigration.

Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy withdrew the amendment after opponents threatened to kill the entire bill. The Supreme Court decision makes the point moot.

TAXES The Internal Revenue Service released a statement saying it’s reviewing the Supreme Court decision and “will move swiftly to provide revised guidance in the near future.” Currently, the IRS has based its decisions about married couples on the

their current state of residence, but that policy isn’t written into law and could be changed, says Brian Moulton, legal director for the Human Rights Campaign. So, the IRS could release new policies that would be more friendly to same-sex couples, particularly those living in states that don’t recognize same-sex marriage.

“It appears that same-sex spouses who live in states that do not recognize samesex marriage will continue to be treated as unmarried by the IRS, and may not file joint tax returns. This is because the IRS uses the taxpayer’s state of residence to determine whether he or she is married for tax purposes. For example, a same-sex couple who were married in Massachusetts but later moved to Florida, would be treated as unmarried,” said Stephen Fisher of NOLO. “However, this needs more clarification and could change.”

Estate taxes after a partner’s death are also likely to change after the Court rulings.

Officials at the Utah State Tax Commission are waiting on a ruling by the IRS before developing their own policies.

MULTI-STATE COUPLES The New York Times included Utahns David Huebner and John Barabino in a story on the grappling between federal and state leaders after the rulings. “[T]ogether, they put a human face on an uncomfortable truth: Mr. Huebner and Mr. Barabino’s union, although legal, is still not equal to that of their heterosexual friends, even after historic Supreme Court rulings to grant federal benefits to legally married gay couples and restore same-sex marriage in California,” the story explained.

Huebner, a University of Utah psychology professor, and Barabino, a former Google executive, were married in California before Proposition 8 and adopted their son there. Their primary home is in Utah, which does not recognize their marriage, but they live part time in Washington, which does. They are among thousands of couples in similar positions caught in “a confusing web of laws and regulations.”

“It is a predicament the Obama administration is only beginning to grapple with: how to extend federal rights and benefits to same-sex couples when states, not the federal government, dictate who is married.”

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

THE BATTLES CONTINUE It is the next battlefield for the Human Rights Campaign, said its president Chad Griffin at a speech in Salt Lake City the day after the Court decisions.

He announced HRC’s new goal of bringing marriage equality to all 50 states in the country, including the state of Utah.

“We can’t tolerate the persistence of two Americas when it comes to equality,” Griffin began his speech at the Utah Pride Center. “Right now, in one America, in places like Iowa, New York and California, marriage equality is the law of the land. All families receive the full recognition of the law, and everyone is protected from discrimination on the job ... But in the other America, in the 37 states without marriage equality, like my home state of Arkansas, or right here in Utah, even the most basic, statewide legal protections are nonexistent.”

“In one America, yesterday’s victories felt like the final step forward in a legal and social transformation toward a just and equal future. But in the other America, still stuck behind the dark walls of discrimination, those victories are only a headline - progress that belongs to someone else, somewhere else.”

“While strides have been made in Utah,” he continued, “you only need to walk into a clerks office as a gay couple and try to get a marriage license, to know which of those two Americas we are in today.”

“Every moment of delay has a real life consequence. Every single day in these places, a child is born, a parent dies, or a loved one is rushed to the hospital,” he said. “And the inability to access the basic protections of marriage ruins lives and destroys families.”

FAMILIES, ADOPTION, ESTATE PLANNING Indeed it’s families, adoption and the ramifications of the

death of a partner, on which the Court’s decisions have little effect. The maze of laws across the country will continue to have gay and lesbian couples crossing state lines for “greener pastures.”

Utah attorney Laura Milliken Gray told the New York Times that she goes through “all kinds of gyrations” for couples who “want to achieve family equality that their straight brothers and sisters have.”

Gray advised computer network salesperson Craig Crawford to write all possible heirs — his parents, siblings and their children — out of his will to ensure that his property could be left to his husband, who is technically not next of kin under Utah law.

“When you have to write your mother’s name down and disown her,” Crawford said, “that is really harsh.”

But even legal arrangements such as this one is not a foolproof guarantee that your wishes will be agreed upon after one’s death. Such cases can find themselves in bitter court battles for years and are definitely not a slam-dunk.

But for one Utah couple, at least when they are standing on D.C. soil, they were excited enough to see the rulings come down that they took their son, Miles, to the Supreme Court to watch history being made.

While the toddler joined others and played on a lawn across the street from the Court Building, the parents kept checking their cellphones for news until cheer erupted as the Defense of Marriage decision was announced.

“We’re married!” Barabino said, cradling Miles in his arms.

“It’s crazy. Because of the soil that we’re standing on now, because we stand in D.C., we’re married. When we stand in Utah, we are not.” Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Conservative media using Utah airman losing position over anti-gay views as rallying cry for religious freedoms The story of Utah Air National Guard’s Tech. Sgt. Layne Wilson being reprimanded for writing a letter objecting to a wedding in the West Point chapel has right-wing pundits declaring the military is ousting their ranks because of religious beliefs.

In December, Wilson sent and email to Office of Chaplains Col. Barbara Sherer at West Point, objecting to a wedding ceremony held there for retired Army Captain Brenda Sue Fulton and Penelope Dara Gnesin.

Wilson wrote, “This is wrong on so many levels. If they wanted to get married in

a hotel that is one thing. Our base chapels are a place of worship and this is a mockery to God and our military core values. I have proudly served 27 years and this is a slap in the face to us who have put our lives on the line for this country. I hope sir that you will take appropriate action so this does not happen again.”

The office forwarded the email to the Commandant of Cadets, who then notified the Utah Air National Guard. Lt. Col. Kevin Tobias notified Wilson, “You are hereby reprimanded. As a non-commissioned officer you are expected to maintain

The Queens’ Tea gets A&E startup help A crowd-source funding campaign for The Queens’ Tea, a Salt Lake city loose leaf tea company that specializes in creating teas and events that connect global tea cultures with contemporary tastes, was selected by A&E Television’s Project Startup as a featured project.

A&E contributed $4,000 to The Queens’ Tea and RocketHub extended their campaign.

“We are thrilled that A&E selected The Queens’ Tea to be featured on Project Startup.

We feel this is a terrific opportunity to share our company and our passion with a wider audience and to grow our business even further,” said Michael Ferguson, co-founder.

The Queens’ Tea mission is to share the unique aspects of various global tea cultures with customers throughout the Intermountain West and beyond through unique instore events and custom loose leaf tea blends. They bring

the finest selection of teas to supermarkets and cafes in Salt Lake City, including teas that were more common in early frontier America and the American West. Their blends are also available through their website, TheQueensTea.com “Many people don’t know the history of tea culture in Utah, and as we grow our product line we will begin to reflect that connection even more. For example, our Blue Tea blend is a tribute to the Ladies Literary Club that began in Salt Lake City in the 1870s, where tea sipping and good books were what it meant to be civilized,” said J. Seth Anderson, cofounder and co-Queen. “The Queens’ Tea is growing and this exposure for our campaign will help us continue to bring to Utah and the US the finest quality tea,” said Ferguson. Q The Queens’ Tea crowdsourcing campaign runs through July 30th at tinyurl.com/ queenstea.

a standard of professional and personal behavior that is above reproach. You have failed!”

Wilson’s six-year reenlistment contract was denied and he was given only a one-year extension.

In a memorandum dated June 19, 2013 that was obtained by Fox News, Tobias wrote, “We talked about his feelings about DADT and how he doesn’t agree with it. I then told him that maybe this is a good time for him to move on because we’ve been ordered to not have an opinion about gays in the military and we need to treat them as we would treat anyone else in the service of our country.”

“I also reiterated that I respect his feelings but I’m not comfortable reenlisting him with his strong feelings about this matter,” he additionally wrote.

Col. Ronald Blunck also wrote, “Your right to practice your religious beliefs does not excuse you from complying with directives, instructions and lawful orders. ... Lt. Col. Tobias is correct in demanding that TSgt. Wilson refrain from expressing opinions contrary to Air Force guidance while in uniform. ... The Repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was directed by law.”

Wilson is suing to be let back into the military on a sixyear reenlistment contract. His attorney, John Wells, claims, “The military is trying to make examples of people who have religious beliefs that homosexual conduct in the military is wrong. The end game is to force conservative Christians out of the military.” He also claims that Wilson was supposedly simply reporting “what he

Former Tech Sgt. Layne Wilson, Utah Air National Guard

believed was a violation of the law” given that the Defense of Marriage Act was still in place.

The repeal of DADT, however, was signed by President Barack Obama into law in Dec. 2010 and fully implemented in Sept. 2011.

Military chapels are nondenominational and are used by many different faiths, including those which perform same-sex marriages.

According to Tobias, Wilson and he had a discussion back in October, 2012, about the repeal of DADT. “We talked about his feelings about DADT and how he doesn’t agree with it. I then told him that maybe this is a good time for him to move on because we’ve been ordered to not have an opinion about Gays in the military and we need to treat them as we would treat anyone else in the service of our country,” Tobias wrote in the memorandum. “I also reiterated that I respect his feelings but I’m not comfortable reenlisting him with his strong feelings about this matter.”

Fox News’ Todd Starnes, who Wilson had reached out to over the military denying him health benefits after he failed to provide a credit or debit card number for automatic payments, latched on to the story under the headline, “Airman Punished for Objecting to Gay Marriage in Military Chapel.” The story has now gone viral through ultra-conservative media and blogs. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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Couples challenging Utah’s Amendment 3 On March 25, 2013, three couples filed suit in the United States District Court challenging the constitutionality of Utah’s Amendment 3. The suit is being supported by a local group, Restore Our Humanity, and names Gov. Gary Herbert, Attorney General John Swallow and Salt Lake County Clerk Sherrie Swensen as defendants.

Amendment 3, put into state law in 2004, stipulates not only that marriage is strictly the legal union of a man and a woman, but also goes further in prohibiting any other domestic union from being recognized as a marriage or being “given the same or substantially equal legal effect.”

The complaint, filed by attorneys James Magleby, Peggy Tomsic, and Jennifer Parrish of Magleby & Greenwood, argues that Amendment 3 violates the equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution because it denies access to marriage to gay and lesbian citizens. Marriage was determined by the Supreme Court to be “one of the ‘basic rights of man,’ fundamental to our very existence and survival.”

Loving v. Virginia, 1967.

The case has been assigned to Judge Robert J. Shelby. The

Utah Attorney General’s office has until early August to respond to the initial complaint.

Mark Lawrence, director of Restore Our Humanity, estimates the case will go to trial within the next year, and Phil Lott, the deputy attorney general assigned as lead on the case, concurred.

Lott noted that the initial pleading, which will be filed shortly, will delineate the state’s position. “The citizens of Utah have the right to define what marriage is,” he said.

The plaintiffs in the case, disagree, arguing that the U.S. Constitution, specifically the 14th Amendment, requires all citizens be given equal treatment under the law and that laws which create inherent inequality between citizens are therefore unconstitutional.

Regardless of Judge Shelby’s decision, it is anticipated that this case will be appealed to the 10th Circuit Court.

Two other western states, Nevada and Hawaii, have had their same-sex marriage bans challenged in federal court. In both cases, the district court sided with the states. Both are now pending appeal to the 9th Circuit Court, the same court that struck down California’s Proposition 8. Q

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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Geek OUT calls for Orson Scott Card boycott with ‘Skip Ender’s Game’ Author Orson Scott Card’s views on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights has prompted the group Geek OUT to form an online protest of the movie based on his 1985 best-selling novel, “Ender’s Game,” which will be released in November.

Card, the great-great-grandson of Mormon icon Brigham Young, has been openly railing against what he calls “the homosexual agenda” for decades.

“Laws against homosexual behavior should remain on the books, not to be indiscriminately enforced against anyone who happens to be caught violating them, but to be used when necessary to send a clear message that those who flagrantly violate society’s regulation of sexual behavior cannot be permitted to remain as acceptable, equal citizens within that society,” Card wrote in an article called, “The Hypocrites of Homosexuality,” in Sunstone Magazine, Feb. 1990.

In 2004, he penned an article in the Rhinoceros Times titled, “Homosexual ‘Marriage’ and Civilization,” where he says gays can marry a partner of the opposite sex, “So it is a flat lie to say that homosexuals are deprived of any civil right pertaining to marriage. To get those civil rights, all homosexuals have to do is find someone of the opposite sex willing to join them in marriage.” He also claimed that gays are the self-loathing victims of child abuse, who became gay “through a disturbing

not as i do GALLAGHER CALLS ORSON SCOTT CARD BOYCOTT ‘MCCARTHYISM’ Former National Organization for Marriage director Maggie Gallagher is pulling the “McCarthyism” card on a boycott against “Ender’s Game” because of author (and NOM board member) Orson Scott Card’s anti-gay views. Of course, this is the same Maggie Gallagherwho organized a boycott of Starbucks because they are too gay friendly.

seduction or rape or molestation or abuse.”

In 2008, he wrote an op-ed piece that was published across the country, including in the Deseret News, where he called gay marriage in Massachusetts and California the “end of democracy in America.”

“No matter how sexually attracted a man might be toward other men, or a woman toward other women, and no matter how close the bonds of affection and friendship might be within same-sex couples, there is no act of court or Congress that can make these relationships thesame as the coupling between a man and a woman,” he wrote. “This is a permanent fact of nature.”

“Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy.

I will act to destroy that government and bring it down,” he concluded.

He joined the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage in 2009 as a board member and lobbied for North Carolina’s anti-gay constitutional amendment in 2012, saying gay marriage, “will be the bludgeon [The Left] use to make sure that it becomes illegal to teach traditional values in the schools.”

Summit is pushing Card’s “Ender’s Game” as the “next big sci-fi blockbuster,” potentially making an all-new fortune for Card, according to Geek OUT. “Skip Ender’s Game is a call to action.

CARDINAL MOVES $57M TO KEEP AWAY FROM ABUSE VICTIMS

VIRGINIA LAWMAKER: MORE GAY SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPES

New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan, who has been at the forefront of fomenting anti-gay hatred in New York and abroad, and has vehemently opposed advances in gay rights in the U.S., moved $57 million in Vatican money into a cemetery fund to protect them from being awarded to victims of the widespread sexual abuse that has become a hallmark of the Catholic church in the United States, newly released documents show.

Congressman Ed Schrock, a Republican from Virginia, strongly opposed gay-rights issues during his two terms in office. He voted against allowing gays in the military and voiced opposition to marriage equality legislation. However, in 2004 while running for a third term, he was caught on tape soliciting sex from a male prostitute. He was later hired as a staff person for one of the subcommittees of the Government Reform Committee.

Do NOT see this movie! Do not buy a ticket at the theater, do not purchase the DVD, do not watch it on-demand. Ignore all merchandise and toys. However much you may have admired his books, keep your money out of Orson Scott Card’s pockets,” the new website created for the boycott, skipendersgame.com, reads.

The group is asking people to “Sign the Skip Ender’s Game pledge and keep your money away from Orson Scott Card and anti-gay activists,” create conversation with friends and family about Card’s beliefs, create or attend Skip Ender’s Game events on the day of the movie’s release, and support marriage equality organizations with the money saved by not seeing the movie.

“By pledging to Skip Ender’s Game, we can send a clear and serious message to Card and those that do business with his brand of anti-gay activism — whatever he’s selling, we’re not buying. The queer geek community will not subsidize his fear-mongering and religious bullying. We will not pay him to demean, insult, and oppress us.”

This is not the first time Card has been targeted for his anti-gay views. In March , illustrator Chris Sprouse opted out of an upcoming “Adventures of Superman” issue written by Card and Aaron Johnston amid media criticism of Card’s views.

“The media surrounding this story reached the point where it took away from the actual work, and that’s something I wasn’t comfortable with,” Sprouse explained in a statement.

Card sent a statement to Entertainment Weekly in response to the boycott: “Ender’s Game is set more than a century in the future and has nothing to do with political issues that did not exist when the book was written in 1984.

“With the recent Supreme Court ruling, the gay marriage issue becomes moot. The Full Faith and Credit clause of the Constitution will, sooner or later, give legal force in every state to any marriage contract recognized by any other state.

“Now it will be interesting to see whether the victorious proponents of gay marriage will show tolerance toward those who disagreed with them when the issue was still in dispute,” Orson Scott Card.

Former NOM president Maggie Gallagher called the boycot “McCarthyism” because it punishes based on views. While at NOM, however, she organized several boycotts, including one against Starbucks for their pro-gay views. Q

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

Utah Pride Parade announces winners The Utah Pride Parade drew more spectators and spectacle this year as many organizations and businesses stepped up their game to be the cream of the crop. Here are the winners of this year’s parade:

BEST OVERALL Salt Lake Men’s Choir

BEST BAR FLOAT Club Try-Angles

BEST ORGANIZATION FLOATS 1. Matrons of Mayhem 2. USARA 3. Ziegfeld Theater

BEST CORPORATE FLOATS 1. Squatters 2. Convergys 3. Noodles & Co.

Salt Lake Men’s Choir won top honors as Best Overall entry in the Utah Pride Parade

BEST MARCHING CONTINGENCIES 1. QUAC 2. Mormons Building Bridges 3. Sisters of the Zion Curtain 4. AMEX

BEST VEHICLE ENTRIES 1. Downtown Farmers Market 2. Utah National Leather 3. Pacific Islanders

BEST NEW ENTRIES Smiths & Samba Fogo

Club Try-Angles held onto their top bar float trophy

PHOTO: DAVID DANIELS FOR UTAH PRIDE

QUAC is always a crowd-pleaser with scantily clad marchers

The Matrons of Mayhem won top Organization Float PHOTO: DAVID DANIELS FOR UTAH PRIDE

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Q

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

mmunity

QSaltLake Day at Lagoon

Family Night Out at the Bees

The annual day at Lagoon Amusement Park is set for early August. Thousands of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and allied people attend and, as history writes, everyone has a great time. Attendees are encouraged to wear red to show solidarity. The Pioneer Pavilion, near Rattlesnake Rapids, has been reserved for group members to drop their belongings ... but not their trunks. A group photo will take place at 4 p.m. Discount coupons, good for 20 percent off admission for up to eight people, will be available beginning July 1.

WHEN: Sunday, Aug. 4 WHERE: Lagoon Amusement Park, 375 Lagoon Dr., Farmington INFO: gaysaltlake.com

Pride Softball League, Q Kickball League and QSaltLake will host a Pride night out with the Salt Lake Bees Minor League Baseball team. A whole section of the stadium will be reserved so attendees can bring all their friends and “family.” Stay after the game to enjoy the fireworks display. Tickets are $10 and food will be served for an extra $10.

WHEN: Saturday, Aug. 17, 7 p.m.

WHERE: Spring Mobile Ballpark, 77 W. 1300 South COST: $10

Equality in the Community Equality Utah will host community meetings along the Wasatch Front during the second half of 2013. The meetings will

mediate discussions concerning nondiscrimination ordinances and other issues facing the queer community. The meetings include Clearfield on July 30, Salt Lake City on Aug. 21 and St. George on Oct. 22. For more information and addresses, go to equalityutah.org.

WHEN: July 30, 7 p.m.

WHERE: North Davis County Library, 562 S 1000 E, Clearfield INFO: equalityutah.org

Equality Utah Allies Dinner Equality Utah’s 12th Annual Allies Dinner: Equality in My Community will be an evening of inspiration, entertainment and action. The Allies Dinner will feature Academy Awardwinning actor Sean Penn as keynote speaker. Receiving awards this year are the Salt Lake City School District, Troy Williams and Stephanie Pappas WHEN: Sept. 16

a r e M M u s Mi d N ight s dreaM

WHERE: Salt Palace Grand Ballroom, 100 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City INFO: equalityutah.org COST: $125

14th golf classic raises funds for Utah Pride The Utah Pride Golf Classic attracts golfers of all levels and an impressive list of who’s who in the LGBTQ community and allies, including television personalities, politicians, and business owners. The event will begin with breakfast at 7 a.m. and shotgun start beginning at 8 a.m. It is a fundraiser for Utah Pride and is in its 14th year.

Registration goes through Aug. 6 for $95 and includes a full 18 holes of golf, golf carts, breakfast, gift bags, lunch and prizes.

After then, the price is $125.

WHEN: August 18, 7 a.m.

WHERE: Stonebridge Golf Club, 4415 Links Dr., West Valley INFO: utahpridecenter.org

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

WSU professor fired after objecting to Packer Center naming When Weber State University initially announced that they would be naming their new Center For Families in honor of Boyd K. Packer, one faculty member expressed concern.

Assistant professor Jared Lisonbee, of the College of Education, suggested to WSU administration that naming the center after Packer would alienate many of the families the center was intended to serve. For over four decades Packer, a leader in the LDS Church, has made denigrating statements regarding women, interracial marriage, intellectuals, and the LGBT community.

Lisonbee was recently informed that his contract with WSU was not being renewed.

No reason has been given. A request for information to WSU spokesman John Kowalewski has not been answered at this time.

Lisonbee’s wife, Shairylann, believes her husband was fired for his objection to the naming of the center after Packer.

“Last year in the faculty meeting. where the name for the family center was announced, he was the only person who protested the naming, mentioning that Packer was not viewed as friendly toward gays, academicians, feminists and interracial couples. Since then, his department chair became increasingly hostile, making off-handed comments toward him like, ‘You know, Weber State is not a good fit for everyone.’”

Mrs. Lisonbee is convinced

that her husband’s opposition to the naming, and her editorial published in the Ogden Standard-Examiner, were the motivations behind Weber’s decision to not renew her husband’s contract. Following Lisonbee’s letter, a petition was

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started through Change.org by James Carroll. That petition was picked up by the Utah Stonewall Democrats, a nonprofit volunteer group dedicated to LGBT activism. The petition garnered over 2,300 signatures, and the USD made headlines around the nation with their vocal opposition to the university’s decision to name the center after Packer.

Weber State’s response is that the Packer name has helped them raise funds for the Center and they won’t reconsider the decision.

According to Lisonbee, the termination is retaliatory and “obviously related to our opposition to the naming of the Packer Center.”

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Photos: Deer Valley Resort, Stein Eriksen Lodge, Dan Campbell

is everywhere online: Q GaySaltlake.com facebook.com/qsaltlake Twitter @ QSaltLake Youtube.com/qsaltlake Flickr.com/QSaltLake LinkedIn.com/QSaltLake Google+ klout.com/#/QSaltLake

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

Orrin Hatch votes “aye” on federal gay and transgender nondiscrimination bill

““ “ “ “ “ “

Some people really want to keep being re-elected.”

—Sheila Burton

I think it’s a pretty clear sign that he is going to honor his commitment to make this his last term. He doesn’t need to appease the extremist right to avoid a primary challenge.”

views

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

10 things we heard from our readers last month

—Bob Henline

WHAT??! Is this a joke?”

—April Van Orman

Indiana makes application for same-sex marriage a felony

This is great! I hope Utah does the same thing asap. Let one of these states try and enforce this felony against a same sex couple and we’ll have marriage equality before you can say Chick Fil A tastes like hate!”

—Paul Johnson

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

When can we make ignorance a class A felony?”

—Miles Broadhead

UGH! Why can’t we all just move ahead already and quit all this ignorant BS of the past!

Get with it Indiana! Geez!.”

—Melissa Merlot

Geek OUT calls for Orson Scott Card boycott with “Skip Ender’s Game”

I have been looking forward to an Ender’s Game movie for a long time now. Unfortunately, since its author has become such a raving jackass, I don’t want to give him any money.

I will see it when I can do so without one penny going out of my pocket into his.”

—Jon Schild

“ “ “ WSU professor fired after objecting to Packer Center naming

I m a graduate of Weber State.

Religion and educational institutions ought to be speeated the same way as religion and politics. I do no ageee of naming the building after Packer. There would have been better possibilities in the community! I do not endow it and hope WSU is considering how many philanthropists will drop their money! We are a University not a Religion!”

—Angelika Bertrand

Since WSU is no longer headed by a woman, I think a lot of things will change, for the University to come more in line with the church beliefs.”

sisters with a freight train full of hate on the opposite track?”

—JPhillip Wilkes

—Sierra Whiskey

And lastly, about Charles Lynn Frost’s column last month on ego in our community:

Charles, you are a treasure.

Whenever I say this people just call me bitter, but it’s true.

Don’t we have a big enough bullet train of judgement and injustice coming at us all every day? Why would we want to run down our brothers and

QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor.

Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@ gaysaltlake.com.

We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

2Q13

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

the straight line

Discrimination is not freedom of religion

BY BOB HENLINE

With every

passing day, science” exemption, which is essentially a the social and way to allow discrimination and bigotry, as political landscapes of the nation change. long as one labels it as religious in nature.

Throughout, an ever-increasing number Such an exemption exists not only in the of cities, counties and states are adoptcurrent version of ENDA, but is also being ing measures that seek to provide full proposed into law in several states and protection of the law to all United States municipalities. citizens. We’ve seen laws and court deciIn addition to the blank check this exsions in support of marriage equality from emption provides religious organizations coast to coast. We see non-discrimination to discriminate at will, it also establishes a laws passing in municipalities from rural precedent for allowing anyone to discrimiUtah to urban New York, as well as at nate as long as they claim it’s based upon the federal level with the resurgence of their religious beliefs. While it’s important the debate over the Employment Nonthat we recognize and support the freedom Discrimination Act (ENDA). of religion, it is just as important to note As more and more ground is gained in that discrimination and bigotry are not the struggle for equality under law, we see, religious values. unfortunately, new and inventive forms of As a wise man once said, “Your freedom UFM_Q_mag_ad_2013_v3_x1a.pdf 1 5/21/13 backlash.

One of the more recent trends is to 11:10 swingAM your fist ends when it impacts to insert into law a “right of religious conmy face.” Living in a society means that we accept certain limits on our individual liberties in order to The 3rd annual preserve freedom for all. Religion is a protected freedom in this country, each of us has the right to believe and worship, or not, according to the dictates of our The second of each month own conscience.

That freedom, however, does not include the right to june 9 • july 14 • August 11 • September 8 • october 13 harm others based upon those beliefs.

The Urban Flea Market in Discrimination downtown Salt Lake City is an is harmful. In this affordable marketplace where you may find specific context, dis(and sell) a selection of eclectic vintage, crimination prevents used and new items including clothing, people from workrecords, original artwork, furniture, ing to support their tools, oddball-knick knacks and more. families, providing actual financial and material harm to 600 south Main Street individuals, families and society as a f r o m 9a m u n t i l 3 p m for public whole. Saying “God to attend! v e n d o r & e v e n t i n f o at : told me to” doesn’t

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make it right, and it sure as hell shouldn’t make it legal.

We live in a nation that was ostensibly founded upon the promise of equality for all, under the law. When we enshrine into law the ability for one group of people to subjugate another based upon any criteria, we abandon that fundamental premise, and we all suffer. That is what these “religious conscience exemptions” institutionalize: the subjugation of people in the name of another person’s proclaimed belief.

How would a member of one religion react to being denied employment or housing because they didn’t share the religion of another? Once we start down this path, we allow anyone to violate the law as long as they claim it’s in the name of their religion.

How far are If you live in Utah, we prepared to go in allowing however, it isn’t exemptions to hard to see that the the law based Mormons have not upon religion?

As we move softened at all into this next phase in the struggle for equality, it is imperative that we remain strong and remain focused. The powers behind the continued oppression of the LGBT community are not going to stop at opposing equality measures, they will seek to undermine them and make them as ineffective as possible.

As more and more of these groups take up the “religious liberty” mantra, we need to be talking about what that really means.

This isn’t a discussion about religious freedom, it’s a discussion about discrimination. And while there are still racists and bigots among us, that number decreases with every passing day. The overwhelming majority of people, both in Utah and nationwide, oppose discrimination. We need to keep the conversation in those terms: discrimination. If we allow them to frame the debate in terms of religion we will have a much tougher uphill battle ahead of us. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorial

How Mormons evolved from Prop 8 to Pride

BY MITCH MAYNE

In the

Mormon world, the term “mighty change of heart” describes that light-bulb moment when a human understands, at a soul-deep level, the true message of unconditional love taught by our Savior.

Often, the term is used to describe conversion to faith in our Savior by someone not of our own religion. But it’s also an ideal description of what’s been happening inside the Mormon culture over the past five years; literally thousands of Mormons across the country are re-thinking the way they understand their LGBT brothers and sisters—both in and outside the faith.

Five years ago, many Mormons rallied behind Prop 8. There’s no denying it— Mormons said some cruel and ugly things to LGBT individuals during the campaign, and our involvement branded Mormonism as a hateful religion in the eyes of world.

The outside world watched images of Mormons holding Prop 8 signs and going door-to-door to garner support for the measure. But what went unseen was the bitter turmoil it caused among those who practice our own faith. In Mormon families throughout the country, secret battles waged—fathers were pitted against sons, mothers against daughters, and brothers and sisters against one another.

In our zeal to hammer shut the Pandora’s Box of gay marriage, we stood in direct opposition to one of our own core values: The importance we place on family.

And as a result, we damaged some family relationships so deeply they may never heal in this lifetime.

But life seldom sends us a problem that doesn’t have a gift in its hands for us. And so it is with the ugliness that surrounded Prop 8. The gift, left in its wake, is Mormons’ mighty change of heart sweeping the country.

The change of heart takes the form of Mormons marching in more than 20 pride parades in 2102, and several more this year, holding signs that range from, “This Mormon Mom Supports Your Right to Marry” to “Sorry We’re Late!”

The change of heart takes the form of Mormons standing in respectful disagree-

ment to public policy measures for the same reason the Supreme Court found last month: Because discriminating against any family is wrong. These same Mormons mobilized in Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington to staff phone banks and engage in letter writing campaigns to public officials to express Mormon support for marriage equality.

The change of heart takes the form of Mormon congregations throwing their doors open to everyone, and welcoming our LGBT brothers and sisters back into their family of faith—whether they’re partnered or single—without fear of being excommunicated for being their authentic selves.

Perhaps best of all, the change of heart takes the form of Mormon support for recent court rulings on DOMA and Prop.

8, which show us that marriage equality is a question of when, and not if.

I am not an official church spokesperson, and my words don’t reflect the formal position of the LDS Church. But the great news is we now live in a world where my opinions are shared by countless Mormons across the country. We celebrate the recent court rulings alongside our LGBT brothers and sisters—rulings that for many of us better align with our Mormon faith, which states that it is unjust for a particular set of religious beliefs to be used to deny the civil rights of others (D&C 134 and 11th Article of Faith).

We have come a long way in the past five years. The pride marches are especially symbolic for us as Mormons—we have pioneer roots, and our history is rich with accounts of Mormons pulling handcarts, marching place to place to find a location where we were free to be ourselves.

So it is with the pride marches. We put one foot in front of the other as a symbol of the steps we’re taking to help ensure inclusion for our LGBT brothers and sisters.

For the San Francisco Pride march every year, we reach the completion of our short journey down Market Street in a little over an hour. But from a larger metaphoric sense, we’re still marching to open doors to a place where each person is safe to be their genuine self.

When will we reach the end of our journey? We don’t know. But what we do know is that this is the journey our Savior wants us to be undertaking right now, and like the handcart stories of our ancestors, this one will also be filled with wonderful accounts about the kindness of friends we meet along the way.

So to our brothers and sisters in the LGBT community, when our group of Mormon pioneers—equipped with a mighty change of heart—crosses your path, we hope you’ll extend the hand of friendship many of us were unable to extend to you five years ago.

After all, I’m pretty sure that’s what our Savior would do. Q Mitch Mayne is an openly gay member of the Church of Latter-day Saints and is executive secretary of the Bishopric of the Bay Ward of San Francisco.

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

lambda lore

Pass the torch and dance

BY BEN WILLIAMS

I admit

I am a Gay Liberationist. My columns are not objective, but they are honest. I was quoted in a 1989 Salt Lake Tribune article as saying, “freedom and justice must be struggled for … they’re never a finality.

Gay people understand this. We are true extenders of personal freedom. We are the bravest, strongest, most courageous people I know.” This was my opinion and my belief then and it still is. I have made many people upset by being such a stringent pro-Gay advocate but tough toenails.

Twenty years ago in 1993, in the first issue of The Pillar, as editor in chief, I quoted the Rev. Martin Luther King famous statement “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” which I had intended to be the focus of the paper. Liberation and social justice have been my watch words all my adult life.

In the summer of 1989, I went to a Native American pow wow held in West Valley City with some of my Faerie friends. I was so moved by a dance called “The Dance of the Nations.” Hundreds danced in the formation of the spokes of a wheel. The dance represented that we are not alone; that we follow those who came before us and are succeded by those who come after us. That dance has always held a special place for me, reminding me that we, as a movement, are not linear but circular. I used this image as keynote speaker at Gay Pride Day ’89 at Sunnyside Park, where I was quoted by the Salt Lake Tribune as saying, “With compassion and wisdom,” we can be the “healers and nurturers, dancing in an endless circle of love and liberation.”

At that late July Gay Pride Day celebration, I tried to impress on the crowd the idea that we are in a dance for equality. I likened it to a relay race where we received a torch from those who have gone before and we will pass it on to those who will come after us.

In the Salt Lake Tribune article I was quoted saying Utah Gay people are “true modern pioneers…worthy of the legacy left by Stonewall. Twenty Years ago (1969) we dared to be queer among even queerer people.”

While homophile organization existed before the uprising at the Stonewall Inn, the significance of the event was a catalyst for a new civil rights movement based on Liberation.

“I see a torch being passed from runner to runner. The torch is the light of liberation, illuminating the dark corners of centuries of bigotry and persecution. The torch is a beacon of hope, one that will bind up the broken hearted and liberate the captives. Each runner knows it will be a hard road to freedom for a people such as us, despised and oppressed. However, no longer held back by the lies of institutionalized loathing, we run, freed from the chains of our oppressors.”

This liberty torch made its way to Utah in the fall of 1969 as some of our earliest Gay brothers and sisters grabbed for it.

Beginning as anti-war activists and femininists, a small group of less than ten Gay men and women formed a Gay Liberation Group in Utah. They passed the torch on from one leader to another. Soon the backroom of The Sun Tavern, a Salt Lake bar, became an office for a community center and printed the first Gay newsletter, as the Metropolitan Community Church, with a mission towards Gay folks, struggled to find a place in the new-found light. And the torch was passed along. Up to the halls of academia of the University of Utah, where idealists unionize to promote Gay awareness and consciousness and over to the drag queens who ennoble themselves with human dignity, courage, and community service while swathed in sequin and leather.

And the torch was passed along. To Gay rights activists willing to publicly protest

Anita Bryant’s Save Our Children crusade and against all other purveyors of hate; and humbly to the Gay and Lesbian humanitarians of the 1980’s who saw our people dying from a plague and were willing to put their reputations and lives on the line while the state officials stood silently by and kept statistics of the dead. To writers and publishers, creating new forums, such as the Open Door, Triangle Magazine, The Bridge, The Pillar and QSaltLake to raise community consciousness and unity. And the torch is passed along today.

Its easy today to take Gay life and acceptance for granted. But we do not live in a vacuum. The light we have today was passed not to us from a single torch but from torch bearers passing liberty from “Woohoo! I’m one another going to celebrate through support groups, by ‘sodomizing’ religious my brains out!” organizations, and political forums, all created and willed into existence by extraordinary people. Today we shine like the stars in the heaven with a myriad of options unheard of just 20 years ago, although still surrounded by the darkness of empty prejudice, we are pushing back the darkness which stands in stark contrast to our brilliance.

We need to keep passing the torch along. Many of the old liberators are gone but until our struggle for liberation of our people becomes the struggle of all humankind against bigotry and oppression we who remain will never never give up and until we are truly free. We must continue to teach each generation that we must continue to light up the long night of social intolerance. We must keep passing the torch … Run swiftly and remember to dance. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

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BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Have you

been feeling a little less gay than usual this month? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Ever since the Family Research Council declared July “Ex-Gay Pride Month,” it’s just so damn hard to stay gay these days.

This exciting month of denial and despair with culminate with a July 31 dinner in Washington D.C. that will definitely be the place to see and be seen if you hate your gay self and/or other gays. For the low, low price of $150 you can be treated to the silver-tongued insanity of speakers like Greg Quinlan, the president of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX).

Wayne Besen, founder of Truth Wins Out, which has been ferreting out “ex-gay” bullshit for years, described Quinlan in 2008 as “one of the most insufferable, dishonest and phony anti-gay zealots in the nation.” Now that’s a ringing endorsement!

But that was years ago! Perhaps Quinlan has become an ex-phony anti-gay guy (a.k.a. “X-PhAG”).

Ha ha. Nope.

On July 2, Quinlan took to right-wing radio to declare that the Supreme Court justices who overturned the Defense of Marriage Act were “five black-robed Nazis.” He then “outted” Justices Anthony Kennedy and Elena Kagan as gay and said that they ruled on the case in order to satisfy “their own lusts.” No word on the secret-homo status of Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, and Sonia Sotomayor who also voted against DOMA. Quinlan then called President Barack Obama “a down-low President,” because obviously you can’t be in favor of civil rights for LGBT people unless you are one of them.

This is not the first time a right-wing flapping mouth has claimed that Obama is a gay. Evangelical pastor Scott Lively has done plenty of research on this issue and has a photo of Obama sitting next to a guy

on the couch so, BAM! Proof.

So now that the Gay Gestapo has taken over the White House and the Supreme Court, what’s next? Oh, you know, just the destruction of both church and state.

“What’s in the way of us having sex with who you want to have it, no matter how old they are, any way we want to have it?

It’s the church,” Quinlan says.

“The Constitution of the United States is a Christian document,” Quinlan continues, “so what stands in the “What’s in the way? It’s the Constitution way of us having of the United sex with who you States.” want to have it, Got it? So no matter how old gays must get they are, any way rid of both we want to have religion and law in order to it? It’s the church” keep the sex party going. Because there ain’t no party like a gay sex party because a gay sex party don’t stop. Unless, of course, Jesus and that cartoon version of the Constitution from School House Rocks are being cockblockers.

“And in order to change … the mightiest government that ever existed because it’s founded on God Almighty’s truth and principles,” Quinlan continues, “is to destroy it so they can do what they want to do, have sex the way they want to have it and they only way they can do that is to shut us up.”

And that, Quinlan concludes, leads us to Nazi Germany and pedophilia because, duh.

You can’t make shit like this up. $150 is starting to seem like a bargain for this caliber of entertainment. Then again, maybe Quinlan should do himself and the rest of the world a favor and, well, shut up. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

a mom’s view

When do I tell my parents I’m gay?

BY LEESA MYERS

Last month,

I talked about my experience with the 2010 Ragnar Relay - when I spent a day and a half with 11 men. Well, I got to know each of the men in the van with me and my son Jay. It’s easy to get personal when you are in a van for over 30 hours.

During our time together, I asked each one at what point did he tell his parents he was gay. One by one, each said he told his parents he was gay when he was out of college or had moved out of What about his parents’ their children home and was living on his coming to them own. for support, Charles acceptance and told me that when he was understanding, a teenager, he and instead saw a close being kicked out friend who was gay be of the home they thrown out of need? his home and was living on the streets. Charles knew he needed a college education and his parents support to get that education. One of his brothers had overheard Charles in a conversation with his boyfriend and told Charles to tell his other brothers or he would. They agreed not to tell his parents until after college.

One by one, I heard versions of the same story, “If I tell my parents I am gay, they might kick me out.”

That fear is justified by the number of homeless gay youths living on the streets

because the parents could not handle it.

This pisses me off: The “parents” can’t handle it! What about their children coming to them for support, acceptance and understanding, and instead being kicked out of the home they need?

Jay told me he was gay when he was in college; however, he knew he was gay when he was 8 years old. His plans were to graduate from college, move out of town and then just disappear. He feared being rejected; we had a great relationship, but he didn’t feel safe telling me he’s gay.

While having breakfast with a friend, she told me she thinks her grandson is gay, but he hasn’t said anything to her. They too have a great relationship. She asked, “Do I go to my grandson and say I think you’re gay? Or not say anything?” She can feel a distance between them and wants him to know how proud she is of him; that it doesn’t change their relationship if he is, or isn’t, gay. I did not have an answer for her. In my case, I had to ask my son what was going on with him that he was pulling away from the family; otherwise I am sure he wouldn’t have told me then.

There is no right or wrong time to tell parents; it has to be the child’s time. Society has made it hard and shameful to be gay. I have no clue what Jay went through, when couldn’t be himself and be safe in his own home or around his family. As parents, I believe if we show our support and acceptance of the gay community before our children say they are gay, we create a pathway for communication with them. Q

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guest editorial

The time for compassion is now

BY ELISA STONE

My first

time in Florida, I sojourned with my partner to St. George Island, “The Forgotten Coast” she remembered from blissful childhood summers spent near sparkling sand and turquoise waves.

When we arrived it wasn’t quite so forgotten, but still

beautiful. I worried how we, a same-sex vegan couple, would be received by the locals. My first lesson came at the beach.

We were sunbathing, halfdreaming to the sound of surf and gulls. Suddenly I heard screeching, an unmistakable distress call. I arose and saw a young seagull entangled in fishing line, fighting to remain above water. As it struggled and cried, the line tightened. To my surprise, a group of local fishermen sprinted away from their poles and beer cooler, charging to the aid of the bird. My partner and I ran to help. As Cara held the distraught creature, one of the men cradled its wings;

another carefully untangled the line. “Come on, Baby,” he said. “It’s gonna be all right.”

When they had cut the line, the fishermen set the bird gently afloat. We worried whether it could still fly. “Come on, Baby,” they chanted. “Fly!” Baby did. I was awed by their compassion. They couldn’t

have cared less that the couple helping them was gay. I recognized something within each of us that cannot abide the sight of a captive being.

Fast-forward to Utah. I’m at Lagoon, because I’m a mom; it’s a company outing, and my son loves it here. He’s only a toddler, so we stick to the kiddie rides, including the train.

It’s slow and predictable, a welcome respite through the trees. Hidden among them is a zoo. The train traverses the zoo so riders have something to gaze at. Seeing caged animals distresses me. Worst is the Siberian tiger. Watching this elusive creature, that in the wild would never allow

wtf?!

himself to be viewed by human eyes, tread behind the bars of his enclosure, I am unable to feel anything but anguish.

Consider this: In the wild, Siberian tigers roam 620 miles of mountains in the Russian Far East. The tiger’s cage at Lagoon allows it to cover approximately 20 feet.

In the wild, this tiger is an alpha hunter, known to prey on bears and wolves. Here he will have no reason to exercise his stealth, his incisive night vision, or any of his strengths.

He paces, loop after endless loop, the parameters of his concrete prison. He seems to have vacated his own body, his mind having collapsed on itself as there is nothing to do, or hope, or be. I resolve I can’t do this anymore. I cannot pay money to a company that imprisons animals, captiveborn or not. The rides will have to wait until there is no more zoo. Later I learn Lagoon has incurred a number of Animal Welfare Act violations by the USDA. My son deserves better.

In the meantime, we’ve discovered Snowbird — beautiful mountain scenery; the Alpine Slide, the zip rider, the tram, the bungee trampoline; great food; group deals; streams, wildflowers, and — best of all — the animals we see are birds soaring overhead, coyotes passing through the shadows of aspens, chattering squirrels darting among branches of towering pines. This is a place I can share with my son.

I would ask you to do the same. Decisions we make as consumers impact our world.

When planning your company or weekend outings, please remember you can choose compassion and still create joyful memories. In the wise words of my Florida fishermen friends, “Come on, Baby. Come on!” Q

WESTBORO BAPTIST TO PICKET CORY MONTEITH’S FUNERAL It is against QSaltLake policy to use the word “church” with Westboro Baptist, in part because of things like this.

WBC has announced their intentions to picket the funeral of GLEE star Cory Monteith, who played Finn. But if the funeral happens in his native Canada, they may not even be allowed in the country. The group was turned away at the border in 2008 after planning to protest the funeral of a 22-year-old murder victim, and has officially been banned from preaching anywhere in Great Britain.

like DYING MAN ABLE TO MARRY PARTNER ...

ON AIRPORT RUNWAY A gay man diagnosed with a terminal illness was able to marry his partner of over 20 years, but they took a different runway walk during the ceremony. Because they live in Ohio, which does not have same-sex marriage, they had to fly to Maryland to wed. They sold their house and chartered a private medical jet, marrying on the tarmac. Ohio may have a constitutional amendment on the ballot next year to reverse their 2004 anti-gay marriage amendment.

COLOMBIA MAY HAVE GAY MARRIAGE, MAYBE Two years ago, the Colombian Costitutional Court gave lawmakers two years to legalize same-sex marriage.

They didn’t.. A Bogata judge granted a gay couple the right to marry last month. Diego and Juan will get hitched on (Utah’s) Pioneer Day. Fitting.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

who’s your daddy?

Hear my prayer

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Kelly has

a theory: If we let the boys have pets now, while they’re young, we won’t get stuck with unwanted animals after the guys head off to college. I guess it makes sense, but it’s also turned our home into a miniature petting zoo. We have a total of 18 animals.

Now to be fair, 12 of those are fish and chickens, leaving us with the dog, two cats, a guinea pig, a snake and sort of a rabbit. Wow, that doesn’t sound any better, does it? I say “sort of” because the rabbit has taken up residence in our neighbor’s backyard. Hera One day she was supposed found the to be a house back door bunny. She is box-trained and left open and “fixed.” But one discovered a day she found whole new the backdoor world outside left open and discovered a whole new world outside.

A couple of months ago, we were riding our bikes when a neighbor stopped us to ask if we had a bunny. Ends up Hera liked his backyard a whole lot, and his wife liked the rabbit a whole lot. So they feed her, and make sure she has water.

And Hera hangs out with them now.

Last year, Gus forgot to close the door on his corn snake’s habitat, and Zeus took a little vacation. Wandering around our house — possibly using the vents as his own personal I-15 — for a couple of weeks, I finally found him after he popped up out of one of the heating registers. I am very proud to report that I did not scream like a girl.

He’s actually on vacation again. This time, I failed to close his door properly.

Actually, of all our “real” pets, only Gracie, the dog, and Speedy, the guinea

pig, haven’t sought some “alone time.”

Both Athena and Apollo, our cats, have taken off, causing us great consternation.

A year ago, Athena, busted out of her carrier as we were taking her to the vet for her annual vaccinations. She disappeared for nearly three weeks. We looked all over for her, to no avail. Then one day, after the first snow fall of the season, I received a call: a woman had found her sleeping on the kitty condo on her patio.

A few weeks ago, following in his kitty sister’s footsteps, Apollo decided to sow some wild oats — whatever wild oats a neutered cat has. One day he simply went on a little adventure, and didn’t look back. Having no idea where he could have wandered, Kelly and I drove all over the neighborhood looking for him. At last, nearly a week later, at 3:00 a.m., he wandered into our bedroom meowing and seemingly really happy to see us.

You may have noticed a theme in our animals’ names. Yeah, so they all have Greek monikers (yes, even the chickens).

I’m Greek, what did you expect? But my Greekness brings with it an advantage when our free-spirited family members go missing: Saint Fanourios!

Saint Fanourios is the Greek Orthodox equivalent of the Roman Catholic St. Anthony: the patron saint of missing and lost items. So when Zeus slithered through our vents, the boys and I prayed to Fanourious. When Athena and Apollo wrote their own feline versions to “On The Road,” we prayed to the saint.

And guess what? The animals returned.

When they did, we followed Greek tradition and made a cake in Fanourious’ honor.

With Zeus on the loose again, you know where I’m turning! Because when there’s a snake wandering around your house, it takes divine intervention to keep you from getting a severe case of the heebie jeebies. Q

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28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

queer shift

Connection Shift

BY CHARLES LYNN FROST

June 26,

2013, Day of Decision, a day each of us will remember most vividly - where we were, how we heard the news, how we processed the meaning and how we felt throughout the day.

I’ve just returned from a week in San Diego, celebrating my BFF’s birthday. As adult gay men - we have had a 25-plus year relationship, and getting together is like putting on a pair of comfortable old shoes.

It unfolds easily. While in San Diego, everything was frenzied in preparation for Gay Pride the following weekend, and the talk about how different this Gay Pride would be because of the PROP 8 and DOMA SCOTUS decisions. Everyone is speculating, talking about equality, marriage licenses, marriage ceremonies and love. Love was heavy in the 72-degree air all week, and the conversations diverse and aplenty. Christopher, or The Good Doctor as I call my friend, and I went to The Old Globe Shakespeare Festival and sat second row center seeing The Merchant of Venice, which is also full of love, complex relationships and much speculation.

These days we tend to associate marriage with romantic love, but in Shakespeare’s day that wasn’t necessarily the case. Marriage is portrayed in several different ways in The Merchant of Venice: As a risky business venture, a mythological quest, a chance for an unhappy child to escape a father’s home, a way for a father to transmit his wealth to the man of his choosing, and even as an opportunity for two men to become more secure in their friendship.

What’s even more striking about marriage is that, even though it becomes the most important relationship by the end of the play, it’s pitted against the bonds of male friendship throughout. Watching the differences between what marriage really meant, stood for, to Elizabethan England and modern day, was fascinating.

“But love is blind and lovers cannot see the pretty follies

that themselves commit.”

—William Shakespeare, Merchant of Venice This famous line from the play begs the question: Just because gay people can now legally resume getting married in California, along with several other states, should we be clamoring to run to the altars of the country? As gay people, is our new found

love

ing event, an amazing day, surrounded by loved ones, sharing the marriage chambers with two longtime committed lesbian couple friends. It was indeed magical, and during the week that ensued we did have full equality, and we were fully legal, and it did change our bond and our relationship, and it felt amazing. We had also been together as a couple for 10 years prior,

couple

sex

perfect it’s match fuck complibuddy cated

friendship freedom in marriage equality something that should be taken more slowly, more carefully, more pensively? Should we gay people be setting the gold-bar standard for a new definition, meaning and commitment of marriage - far exceeding that of our heterosexual predecessors?

I got married to my husband Douglas two years ago, September 2011, in New York City, our favorite city. It was an amaz-

something I find altogether important before you enter into a marriage. Time.

Yep, the most important thing you have in determining long-term success, happiness, enduring love and, most importantly, sustaining couple compatibility. There are vigorous opportunities to grow, learn, change oneself, evolve as a couple during this invaluable time that precedes a legal marriage ceremony.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

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Nerissa, an important secondary character wisely interprets for the majestic and merciful Portia, in The Merchant of Venice, the importance of choosing the right love.

“Never be chosen by any rightly but one who shall rightly love.”

So who is someone who shall rightly love you? In gay marriage I would suggest it is the person with whom you have time-tested, shared life’s many experiences, loved, and deepened your love through wonderful as well as challenging phases; discovering throughout the journey your finest friend in life. It comes down to compatibility and doing the work of discovering compatibility seriously. The most obvious level of compatibility exists at the physical level. You know how it goes when you’re attracted to someone. It grabs you at a gut level and gives you a tingle of excitement the first time you see them. A rush of chemicals floods your body and you feel attracted to them. Physical attraction or compatibility is often the starter for a potential relationship. If it doesn’t exist then the two of you will probably just pass each

other by without a second glance. So that’s ‘sexual chemistry.’ The next component of compatibility is ‘best friend.’

Nietzsche knowingly once said: “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

This ‘best friend’ compatibility is a little less obvious but more important later on in a relationship. One place where your chances of remaining best friends is in the area of what you value in life.

Say you value adventure. You love nothing more than exploring new, challenging areas of rarely visited parts of the planet.

The partner you’ve hitched up with has one of his highest values as routine. He loves to have a routine – for work, for play, for sex! After you’re both over the initial romantic phase of your relationship you will have a major issue. One of you wants to go off exploring the world, the other wants to do the same old things over and over again. The best that can happen here is a compromise, which is going to disturb both of you. Your partner is effectively preventing you from doing one of the things that you love most in life. You’re

also preventing him from fulfilling his value. Neither of you is wrong, you’re just not compatible in this particular area of your life. And this is just one compatibility value! Think of the many that need to be carefully explored and honestly discussed if you are to marry rightly. It becomes damned hard work, some choosing not to go there, because it’s time consuming and takes tremendous effort. For some it is much easier to just remain single and play the field. Both choices by the way are good choices.

Consider the following diagram as you contemplate compatibility. The hard work in gay relationships is compatibility work, and it exists in that sweet spot in the center of this diagram. If you are willing to do the work, you will arrive at the best possible marriage.

The sweet (est) spot is in the middle; other combinations are good too, depending on what you are looking for. I am honestly not judging, but sincerely trying to figure out why this is so difficult for so many in queer relationships to understand? Q

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30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

thinking out loud

DOMA’s Still Here

BY ABBY DEES

The Supreme

Court’s ruling on DOMA last week was incredible, no doubt – a turning point, a tipping point, a critical mass, and everything else we say when we’re trying to figure out where exactly we are in the great span of LGBT history.

At the same time, we also know that the Court stopped short of recognizing full equality for gay and lesbian people and that half of us live in places where samesex marriage is about as likely as Michelle Bachmann joining PFLAG to, you know, support Marcus. Anybody who professes to understand definitively what it all means for our future is probably doing it with a Magic 8-Ball. Please bear with me, then, while I complicate things a bit more: The Court didn’t strike down DOMA, no matter what CNN said repeatedly.

Only section 3 was nixed, which defines marriage as between a man and woman for federal purposes. But section 2, absolving states from having to recognize same-sex marriages that happened in other states, is alive and well, for now. Back in 1996, it was this provision that everybody talked about. And section 2 is still significant because, historically, states have almost always recognized marriages that are legal

in other states regardless of differing marriage laws in those states. For example, if you married your 15-year-old cousin in State X and then moved to State Y, which doesn’t do that sort of thing, State Y would still treat you as married. By contrast, at this moment, DOMA allows non-equality states to ignore legal same-sex marriages performed in places like California (yay!), Iowa or Maine.

Yet, the media and even the Court acted as if DOMA was over. I can think of two reasons for the double-talk.

First, technically speaking, Section 2 was redundant. States always had the right to ignore marriages performed elsewhere, despite long tradition (and the Full Faith and Credit clause, for you law wonks keeping score). Even in ’96, this part of DOMA always struck me as more of a statement of back-assward principle than real law. Remember that there were no gay marriages back then, but Congress, seeing a fight ahead, passed DOMA anyway. It served to let states off the moral hook for discriminating against gay people if ever they had to choose.

Seventeen years later, in Windsor v.

United States, the Court called this thinking out for exactly what it was: “DOMA’s

sanctity of marriage CITY COUNCILMAN KILLS WIFE IN TUB Former Hart, Mich. city councilman Tim Shannon is headed to prison for at least 13½ years and maybe as much as 75 years for the deliberate bathtub drowning of his wife, Lee-Ann Shannon. Her death happened the day Tim’s new, younger lover was to move in with him. The couple’s daughter and son, ages 3 and 4, are in the custody of Tim’s parents

MOUNTIE KILLS WIFE OVER NINTENDO GAME Retired Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer Keith Wiens faces seconddegree murder charges in the August 2011 shooting death of his common-law wife, Lynn Kalmring. In court Thursday, Wiens testified that he shot Kalmring in the face in self-defense after a lost bet over a Nintendo Wii game escalated into a

violent domestic dispute.

MAN KIDNAPS WIFE, KILLS HER IN CAR WRECK An Ohio man is facing serious charges after police said he kidnapped his wife and crashed the car they were in into a tree. She died the next day. Police say Robert H. Tucker III went to his wife’s home armed with a handgun, and demanded his wife leave with him, pulling her out of the house by her hair and punching her in the face.

principal effect is to identify a subset of state-sanctioned marriages and make them unequal,” which is bad. Period. Oh, and by the way, DOMA is still law. Wait…what?

This leads me to the second reason everyone’s acting like DOMA is gone, gone, gone. To be fair, I can’t blame the Court for its schizoid half-ruling, as Edie Windsor didn’t bring suit about section 2. Given this limitation, the Court intentionally went as far as it possibly could without engaging in legal overreach (though conservatives are still squawking about overreach). But it will come as no surprise to anyone, least of all Justice Kennedy, who penned the opinion, that the language the Court uses for striking down section 3 will subsequently be used, very persuasively, by people challenging section 2 and every other state-level mini-DOMA that comes before the courts.

Even archconservative Justice If you married Scalia agrees your 15-yearwith me, and this old cousin in is my favorite Supreme Court State X and then bonus factoid moved to State ever. Given the Y, which doesn’t unusual combination of hysteria do that sort of and defeatism thing, State Y in his dissentwould still treat ing opinion last week, it’s not hard you as married to imagine him jumping off the roof of the Supreme Court building as a final declaration. Notwithstanding his misery, Scalia has probably figured out what comes next better than any pundit has, with more convincing logic than even within the majority opinion. Our victory is “inevitable,” he proclaims, and as easy substituting “DOMA” with any kind of marriage ban and applying the Court’s same reasoning: “Henceforth those challengers will lead with this Court’s declaration that there is ‘no legitimate purpose’ served by such a law, and will claim that the traditional definition has ‘the purpose and effect to disparage and to injure’ the ‘personhood and dignity’ of same-sex couples.”

Exactly. Thank you, Justice, for mapping out our road ahead so clearly. Q Abby is a civil rights attorney-turned-author who has been in the LGBT rights trenches for 25+ years. She can be reached at: queerquestionsstraighttalk.com

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Our Pets Creating the Perfect Family

BY SHARON SAKSON

Many people

these days refer to their pets not as possessions, but as friends or family members. Pets happily take their place alongside their human companions, providing comfort, support and love in abundance. Dogs, in particular, are always ready to go for a walk, play in the park, or just accompany their owners for a marathon couch-potato-television-watching session.

Maybe that’s why so many gay men and lesbians have found joy in bringing dogs into their inner circles.

Dogs possess the ability to love without judgment and without regard to sexual orientation. The devotion of a dog is unconditional.

Sadly, that’s not always what gays experience when they go through the rocky process of ‘coming out’ to their families and friends.

Acclaimed Broadway playwright Charles Busch (charlesbusch.com/Biography.htm) credits his white German Shepherd, Wolfie, for enabling him to survive a difficult childhood “As a child, I felt alone, and different. Wolfie was my friend. He was the one who was with me the most, and all that other stuff didn’t matter to him. He just loved me. He was there for me for whatever I needed.”

Forty years later, Busch’s memories of his stalwart childhood companion still bring tears to his eyes.

SURROGATE CHILDREN Maybe because it’s hard for gay men to create a family that includes children, they often form extremely strong bonds with

their pets. Gay couples are notoriously devoted to spoiling their pets with love and attention. Single gay men with dogs live the lives of single parents, balanc-

ing work, social life, and dog care. Many gay men seem to have a gift for the special details of dog parenting.

Randy Allgaier of San Francisco found

fulfillment through his career as a political activist for various gay causes. But when his HIV progressed to AIDS, it was his Beagle, Darwin, who stayed by his side, seeing him through terrible bouts of illness.

“He has this look in his eyes,” Randy said. “It’s like he says, ‘I’m here with you.’”

After providing company all day for Randy, Darwin would head out with his partner, Lee Hawn, when he got home from work, for a stress-relieving walk. “Darwin took care of both of us,” Randy said Since they are always younger than their owners, dogs are like an eternal fountain of youth. They charm us with their puppyish enthusiasm, and then gracefully accept the infirmities of their older years.

Some men tolerate wild excesses of their dogs’ craziness and bad behavior.

Maybe it reminds them of their own.

THE ANIMALGAY BOND Dr. Lynette Hart of the University of California/ Davis School of Veterinary

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

Best Friends Animal Society-Utah Our mission is to bring about a time when there are no more homeless pets

Medicine (http://www.epi. ucdavis.edu/F-hartl.htm) has extensively studied the human-animal bond. She refers to pets as “social lubricants.”

She added a dose of scientific reality to the idea that there is something magical about living with a pet. “Canine to human interactions are not phenomenally better than human to human interactions,” she said.

“But humans are complicated.

They don’t always make time for their partner. Pets do.”

Cats are Dr. Hart’s pet of choice. She is a consultant for the San Francisco organization Pets Are Wonderful Support, which provides assistance to men with AIDS who need help feeding, walking and caring for their pets when they are disabled with illness.

“It used to be that a person had to give up their dog when they were sick,” said John Lipp, president of PAWS. “We’re saying that’s the wrong thing to do. A sick person needs their pet with them in order to get better.”

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE In his book “Paws and Reflect: A Special Bond Between Man and Dog,” David Mizejewski, the host of Animal Planet’s “Backyard Habitat,” recounts how his dogs helped him endure the pain of breaking

up after his first long-term relationship. “That’s one of the amazing things about dogs,” Mizejewski said. “They are there for you. They pick up on your emotions. There is this total unconditional love.”

That unconditional love is particularly welcome to gay men. Dogs accept the idiosyncrasies of their human companions without argument or complaint. Many have a unique ability to attune to their human’s mood. They are ready to share in happiness or comfort when their human is in pain.

In the connection with their pets, gay men learn certain behaviors essential to a relationship: the ability to give and receive love, the capacity to tend to the needs of another, and openness to the presence of another being. Q Sharon Sakson is a journalist and television producer with an MFA in creative writing.

She is a judge for the American Kennel Club, plus a breeder of champion Brussels Griffons and Whippets. She is the author of Paws & Effect: The Healing Power of Dogs and Brussels Griffons: A Complete Owner’s Manual. She is the co-author (with Neil Plakey) of Paws & Reflect: A Special Bond Between Man and Dog.

Adopt • Spay & Neuter Volunteer • Join bestfriends.org/utah

®

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Our Pets Creating the Perfect Family Who was rescued ... the animals or their humans?

BY MICHAEL NIELSEN AND AL MILLER

Michael Nielsen holding Hatch, Al Miller holding Lola and Chittendon Cholmondly

Michael “rescued” Hatch, a chiweenie, six years ago when he moved back to Utah from southern California. “I went with a friend to the shelter with no intention of getting a dog ... but Hatch wouldn’t leave me alone, so I took him with me!”

Hatch was the only man in Michael’s life for five years and they gave each other companionship and love. Then Michael and Al met ... and Michael was rescued. Hatch still has some jealousy issues, but loves Al. Soon after the men started living together, they stopped by a pet store where a rescue group had animals needing homes and love. Al fell for Lola, another chiweenie, who was very frightened but perked up only when she saw Al. She had been in a “puppy factory” and had never been loved. Honestly, had we read the doctor reports, we probably wouldn’t have brought her home. She was said to be “a very unhappy girl” that would poop uncontrollably and couldn’t show love or be with other animals or children. Bless her heart she didn’t even know how to play! She now wags her tail constantly, is house trained, plays with a ball and Hatch ... and gives unconditional love, especially to “daddy Al.” Chittendon Cholmondly (named after a character in a Noel Coward play ... lovingly called “our little chit”) is our latest baby ... A loving, affectionate yellow cat who was one of 30 kittens on a farm. He loves the dogs, head butting and rubbing against Hatch.

Now the five are a happy family ... “without our babies we would be lost. They rescued us and bring constant joy!”

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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Our facility features an arrangement office, goodbye room, merchandise selection room along with a state-of-the art crematorium.

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Our crew

BY CHARLIE WARD

DEXTER, our little miracle puppy, continues to amaze me in his love of life and his miraculous recovery from his near death experience. I found him at the Salt Lake County animal shelter — immobile, unresponsive, and at least partially blind from congenital cataracts in both eyes. Abandoned for being blind and severely attacked by a stressed kennel-mate, we’re lucky he’s alive. Even though we weren’t sure he’d survive, let alone walk, today he’s doing both. We brought him home, and with the help of amazing veterinary medical assistance he walks, plays, and even now climbs stairs.

Every day, more than 9,000 pets are unnecessarily killed in America’s shelters simply because they don’t have a home. Each one is an individual. Each one, just like my Dexter, is a valued life worth saving. 9,000. That number should be zero. And it can be.

Dexter is our sixth adoption, and we’ve loved them all! Thanks for spending your time and resources on this important issue.

Charlie Ward with Dexter

LUKE (right, at top) was rescued from an an abusive home, CHLOE (right, middle) came from a similar situation, and you’ve met sweet Dexter.

I personally believe that gay and lesbian homes offer a unique place for rescue animals with special needs. They give us the unconditional love we find so rare in life, and in return we offer caring environments and resources to help them find peaceful and happy homes.

Another rescued friend, CACIQUE is a Doberman Pincher rescued by a wonderful family in Puerto Rico.

Homeless pets in Latin countries is a huge issue and many have special needs. Vieques Humane Society and Animal Rescue is making it good for these wonderful animals.

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

Glorious George

BY SCOTT OLDS

We adopted our dog from the Companion Golden Retriever Rescue here in Salt Lake City almost five years ago. After losing our other Golden we were slow to adopt, but an afternoon of boredom took me to the CGRR website where I found George. The pictures did not do him justice with how big he really was. He weighed in at more than 110 pounds and was a height that makes it very easy to snack off the kitchen counter without being on his tip toes. The day my partner and I went to see him, we got out of the car and there was a horse whinny which made us bust out thinking it was actually our new dog. It wasn’t of course, but I do have to admit there are times it does sound like a herd running through the house.

George has endeared himself to us and our entire neighborhood, and he knows everyone and everyone knows him. Not long after we got him he started howling along with any squeaky toy he happened to be working on. It sort of freaked us out at first but now we chalk it up to him being happy, and content and the more he sings to us the more we love him. It hasn’t been all roses and milkbones though; we have had our challenges like when he ate an entire turkey carcass after Thanksgiving (and endured surgery to get it out) and his allergies that make him use every piece of furniture, my mother- in-law and both of us as scratching posts. But despite this, he has shared his love, his songs and his abundant size with us for five wonderful years.

Life with George is great and neither of us can imagine our lives, or this world, without him.

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Paco

BY MARIKA SHIELDS

Fostered and adopted through Cause for Paws Utah, Paco came to us originally as a foster from Los Angeles. A few days later he seemed to be quieter than normal, and a vet exam revealed that Paco had a large mass/cyst on his left kidney. We were faced with two options for Paco: wait to see if the mass would go down or perform surgery to remove the bad kidney.

The problem with removing the kidney is that we are not 100 percent sure the second kidney is fully functioning. We decided to wait and see if the size of the mass/cyst would change. During that time our family has fallen in love with this wonder dog, we made the decision to add him to our family a short while later. He will do anything our family asks of him and he enjoys life with an endless smile and a wagging tail.

Bailey

BY AMY ELLIS

I have adopted four of my last five dogs. Bailey, a border collie mix, came from Cause for Paws Utah. I ended up with her as she was my first foster with Cause for Paws Utah. She spent seven months with us before I decided she is definitely one of the pack and had to stay. From left is BAILEY, MEEKA, FRANK, and TAZ is in the front. We sure do love these dogs. I would like to thank Cause for Paws Utah for allowing me to foster for them and letting me adopt Bailey.

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

Famous gays and their companions

Harvey Fierstein and Big Boy

Jane Lynch and Olivia

Alan Cumming and Honey

Rachel Maddow and Poppy

Anderson Cooper, boyfriend Ben and Molly

Mark Doty and Beau

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

My dog is here. He’s queer. Get used to it.

We’re here, we’re queer and we’re at the dog park. The late afternoon sun shines through the dense canopy of trees at the Memory Grove Freedom Trail. Trotting along at ankle level is my chihuahua mix, Mercury, who resembles a rat more than the other dogs in the off-leash area — that is, if rats wore light pink sweaters.

We’ve recently moved from the West Coast, and this is our first trip to this particular park, so I am slightly nervous. When most pet parents take their dog to a new park, their worst concerns relate to how their dog will react to the unfamiliar surroundings.

I am confident that my dog is completely comfortable in any new situation and adept at making swarms of canine friends wherever he goes. My primary concern: having to out him, and how the other puppy parents will react to a gay dog in their midst.

I used to wear a button that said “I Love My Gay Dog” in situations such as this, but with the move the button was misplaced. I am going to have to do all the talking myself.

GAY DOGS IN THE MOVIES Of course I’m far from the only person with a gay dog. Queer pets got widespread attention in the 2003 film Legally Blonde 2: Red White and Blonde, a film that parents of gay pets are still cheering about. Elle Wood’s chihuahua, Bruiser, was portrayed as a gay dog who proffered to go on walks in a little pink skort.

In a twist of fate that only could happen

in Hollywood, a romance blossoms between Bruiser and a very butch, and very gay, Rottweiler owned by a fictional conservative Republican senator from Alabama.

As romance develops between the two dogs, the senator is forced to grapple with his own homophobic beliefs in order to come to terms with his beloved dog’s sexual orientation. The acceptance of his dog culminates in his outing himself as the parent of a — gasp! — gay dog, before a shocked Congress.

My Mercury was spared the discomfort of ever having to live a closeted life with a homophobic family. Given that he grew up with queer parents and was immersed in gay culture, his sexual orientation was never an issue. From the time he came home as a small puppy he was encouraged to be himself. And when his attraction to pink cashmere sweaters — and hatred of dirt and tennis balls — emerged, he was always supported.

At one point, he even had a long-term relationship with a dog named Sal. Special play dates were arranged regularly for the couple, and Sal often spent days at our home while his parents worked. When Sal’s family moved to San Francisco, the two were heartbroken.

QUEERNESS IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM Recently, the topic of gay pets has come up in the news, with a man in Tennessee surrendering his male dog to the local shelter because he caught the dog humping anoth-

er male dog. The ignorant man told shelter staff that he didn’t want a “gay dog.”

Setting aside the fact that this poor dog very likely isn’t gay at all but rather humping out of dominance, it’s a fact that the natural world is no stranger to homosexuality. In recent years, more people have become aware of gay and lesbian encounters and relationships within the animal kingdom.

A few years ago, for example, a groundbreaking exhibit at Norway’s Oslo Natural History Museum called “Against Nature?” caused an international stir as it sought to demystify the same-sex relationships of animals. The exhibit simultaneously made the socially progressive argument that homosexuality is natural, using its prevalence in the animal kingdom as a basis for that analysis. According to the exhibit, homosexuality has been observed in more than 1,500 animal species and is a well-documented practice in 500.

It’s widely accepted that within giraffes homosexuality is more common that heterosexuality, and with black swans same-sex couples are a regular part of flock life. Similar to the practices found in humans, it’s not uncommon for a male swan in a same-sex relationship to mate with a female in order to have a chick to raise with his male partner.

The romantic stories of queer animals capture the hearts of many, regardless of sexual orientation. One famous couple were Roy and Silo, two penguins at New York City’s Central Park Zoo. The penguins adopted and raised a chick named Tango together and remained a couple for more than six years (they have since separated). The story of their family is memorialized in a picture book for young children titled And Tango Makes Three.

MERCURY’S ACCEPTANCE AT THE PARK Living in downtown Salt Lake, I should know better than to worry about Mercury’s park debut.

Over the course of a few hours, Mercury spends quite a bit of time playing with a large pit bull mix, before settling down to a quiet game of sniff with a little brindle Italian greyhound in a black bomber jacket.

When the pair begin sniffing, the greyhound’s mother comes up to me, and in hushed whispers says, “I’m shocked he’s so into her!” She has assumed from the pink sweater that Mercury is a girl, a mistake I quickly correct.

A big smile crosses her face, and through her giggles I hear her say, “That makes so much more sense — Charlie’s gay!” Q

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Top 7 reasons rescue animals are infinitely more interesting We love animals of all walks of life, whether they’re purebred, mix-breed, half-breed or even a half-blood, pets have distinctively wonderful personalities that never cease to amuse and amaze. However, if you’ve ever rescued an orphaned animal from a shelter or rescue organization, you understand that she brings a certain richness of experience that other “puppies of privilege” are often unable to bring to the table.

As a proud dad of three rescue dogs with questionable upbringing (two purebreds and one mixed breed-Lulu) I am granted the joy of continually theorizing about what breed they might be, how much better I am as a parent and/or why they possess this or that mysterious behavioral quirk.

To enumerate further on why rescue dogs make wonderful pets, I have compiled the officially unofficial list of “Why Rescue Animals Are Infinitely More Interesting”:

1)

They possess richness of experience: They’ve “seen some stuff,” therefore have more street cred and are often wiser for it.

2)

They can provoke an unending ‘guess my breed’ game: If you have a mixed breed, nearly every dog-loving human being that you encounter will have a theory about what breed your dog really is. It makes for great conversation unless you are in a hurry and don’t feel like making small talk.

3)

Possible siblings appear to be everywhere: Any dog that even remotely resembles your dog is quite possibly a sibling…right?

4)

Rescue dogs are somewhat mysterious about their age: Their actual age often remains a complete mystery, especially dappled or black and white dogs who can strategically hide the grey hairs.

5)

They are totally OK with you electing to pick a different birth date for them: Really – they are completely OK if you change their birthday date – just don’t forget that date or a cake once you select it.

6)

Perpetual gratitude: Your rescue doggie understands and appreciates that living with you is like staying at the Ritz Carlton compared to shelter life. They are happy to have a simple, soft place to lay their head as long as you are near.

7)

They evoke joy and pride: Rescuing a dog and helping save a life fills the heart with pride in knowing you’ve given a creature a new chance at life, not to mention the unconditional love they give us in return.

Humane Society Moab Valley Providing Animals w/ Support Wasatch Animal Rescue UTAH PET ADOPTION Paws for Life Heber City . . 435-640-4752 Moab. . . . . . . 435-259-4862 St George. . . 435-688-9748 AGENCIES: warescue@live.com Beaver County Animal Ctrl Beaver . . . . . . 435-438-6435 Furever Buddys Dog Rescue Bluebell . . . . . 435-454-3079 Animal Oasis Brigham Cy. . 435-720-2278 Brigham City Animal Shelt.

Brigham Cy. . 435-723-1231 Cedar Animal Rescue Cedar City. . . 435-586-0899 Cedar City Animal Cont.

Cedar City. . . 435-586-2960 Iron County Animal Shelter Cedar City. . . 435-406-9049 Piute Paws Animal Rescue Circleville . . . 435-577-2092 Morgans Orphan Kitten Salvation Clearfield. . . . 801-682-2040 Duchesne County Animal Ctrl.

Duchesne . . . 435-738-2015 Friends In Need Animal Rescue and Sanctuary Eagle Mtn. . . 801-440-9931 Wasatch Canine Camp Eagle Mtn. . . 801-735-1978 Mooney’s Boxer Rescue. . . . .

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Enoch. . . . . . . 435-559-3885 Davis County Animal Services.

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Bulldog Club of Utah/Rescue Herriman. . . . 801-750-0587 Because Animals Matter Hurricane . . . 435-773-5209 Hurricane Animal Shelter. . . .

Hurricane . . . 435 635 8314 Sadies Safe Haven For Animals Hurricane . . . 435-632-1624 Ivins Animal Shelter Ivins . . . . . . . . 435-669-7043 Utah Corgi Rescue Kamas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Best Friends Animal Society Kanab. . . . . . . 435-644-2001 Greyhound Gang Kanab. . . . . . . 435-644-2903 Mt Peale Sanctuary Healing Ctr La Sal. . . . . . . 435-686-2284 LaVerkin Animal Shelter La Verkin. . . . 435-772-5441 A New Beginning Animal Rescue Layton. . . . . . 801-916-3924 Utah Critter Sanctuary & Ferret & Parrot Rescue Shelter Layton. . . . . . 801-808-1145 Blu’s Ranch and Rescue Lehi. . . . . . . . . 801-766-2722 N. Utah Valley Animal Shelter Lindon. . . . . . 801-785-3442 Cache Humane Society . . . . .

Logan. . . . . . . 435-792-3920 Four Paws Rescue Logan. . . . . . . 435-752-3534

Moab City Animal Shelter Moab. . . . . . . 435-259-0199 Morgan County Animal Cont..

Morgan . . . . . 801-845-4042 Humane Society of Utah Murray. . . . . . 801-261-2919 Murray City Animal Shelter Murray. . . . . . 801-264-2671 Pack N’ Pounce Ogden . . . . . . 801-710-6440 Samoyed Rescue of Utah Ogden.sammylady@live.com Weber County Animal Shelter.

Ogden . . . . . . 801-399-8280 Australian Shepherd Rescue Orem . . . . . . . 801-427-3067 Friends of Animals Utah/ Furburbia-Park City Park City. . . . 435-649-5441 Parowan Animal Shelter Parowan. . . . . 435-559-1122 Carbon Cty Animal Shelter Price. . . . . . . . 435-636-3747 Arctic Breeds Rescue, Provo Admin@ArcticRescue.com Lost Paws Provo. . . . . . . 801-423-1334 Amelia’s Angels Rescue Network Riverton. . . . . 801-448-6647 Ruff Patch Rescue Riverton. . . . . 801-205-9149 Roosevelt City Animal Shelter.

Roosevelt . . . 435-725-3649

St. George Animal Shelter St George. . . 435-627-4350 Adopt Me Society Salt Lake. . . . 801-209-6130 American Brittany Rescue Salt Lake. . . . 866-274-8911 Canines With a Cause Salt Lake. . . . 435-640-9095 Cause for Paws Utah info@causeforpawsutah.org Comm. Animal Welfare Society Salt Lake. . . . 801-328-4731 Doggie Mannerz Salt Lake. . . . 801-580-7007 K9 Lifeline Salt Lake. . . . 801-272-1159 Pet Samaritan Fund Salt Lake. . . . 801-870-9093 Rescue Rovers Dog Adoptions.

Salt Lake. . . . 435-565-4031 Salt Lake County Animal Svcs Salt Lake. . . . 385-468-7387 Second Chance for Homeless Pets Salt Lake. . . . 801-590-8999 Utah Animal Adoption Center Salt Lake. . . . 801-355-7387 Utah Animal Advocacy Found Salt Lake. . . . 801-467-8610 Utah Friends of Basset Hounds Salt Lake. . . . 801-466-2639 Utah’s Perfect Pointers utahsperfectpointers@yahoo.com

Wasatch Avian Education Soc Salt Lake. . . . 801-424-2589 Best Friends Animal Society Sandy. . . . . . . 801-577-5616 Sandy City Animal Services. .

Sandy. . . . . . . 801-352-4450 Sheltie Rescue of Utah. . . . . .

Sandy. . . . . . . 801-942-4762 South Jordan Animal Services S Jordan. . . . . 801-254-4708 Homeless Animal Rescue Team St George. . . 435-705-9835 One More Chance CATS onemorechance@infowest.com Tooele Animal Outreach . . . .

Tooele . . . . . . 435-830-4049 Uintah Animal Shelter. . . . . . .

Vernal. . . . . . . 435 781-7297 Washington City Animal Shelt.

Washington. 435-673-7194 Companion Golden Retriever Rescue utgoldentails@cs.com Hearts 4 Paws West Valley. . 801-867-9564 West Valley Animal Services West Valley. . 801-965-5800 4 Paws Rescue Willard. . . . . . 801-644-2614

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

interview

She’s so unbelievable

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Even before

this year’s Tonys, the legendary Cyndi Lauper was already considered a champion. A champion of

the Grammys.

A champion of the pop charts. A champion of gay rights.

But as a teary-eyed Lauper accepted her Best Original Score statue for the music of Kinky Boots (it also won Best Musical, for a total of six Tonys), the Broadway coming-of-age sensation about a drag queen and a shoemaker as unlikely business partners, she was recognized for something she had never been before: The girl who just wanted to have fun, with her applered hair and heavy Queens accent, was now a champion of the Broadway stage.

Between gigs on her She’s So Unusual Tour, Lauper gave us a ring recently to chat about her emotional night at the Tonys, freaking out rock stars with her “wildly nutty” persona and the reason she’s always stood up for her gay fans.

Big congrats on Kinky Boots and the Tony, Cyndi. Could you feel the good gay vibes that night? Aw, thank you. It was unbelievable. And yes. Yes, I did. It was a shock.

This is one of the first times in a while you’ve been recognized on a mainstream level for your work. Was that at all on your mind as your name was being called? Was it maybe the cause of some of those tears? Well, we worked really hard, and to have it be successful – and to be able to get to work with Harvey Fierstein and Jerry Mitchell, and see them that night – was great, but then to actually win a Tony was really unbelievable. Yeah, I wasn’t even thinking. To have the (theater) community welcome me in like that, that was really something.

You don’t always get welcomed

PHOTO: MIRANDA PENN TURIN

into a place, especially if you kind of, you know, talk a little funny. But that doesn’t matter. I was just really touched by that.

Is that what was going through your mind when you won? That feeling of acceptance from the theater community? I was just looking at everything, thinking, “Remember that you’re here. You made it to the winners’ circle.”

And then when they announced my name, I looked over at (Kinky Boots actress) Annaleigh (Ashford) in shock, but I was excited for Billy (Porter, who won for best lead actor in a musical); I was excited to see him and John Shivers (winner of best musical sound design), who graciously did everything to make that sound warm and welcoming.

Being the first woman to have won a solo Tony for Best Original Score is also a historical moment. Knowing that, how does it feel to break down gender barriers in that way? I’m excited. I mean, they don’t put us in the rice fields anymore, so that’s good!

(Laughs) And there’s more of me coming up.

I’m excited that I was able to do that, but I also feel like I just wanted to do a really good job.

That was really important. But hey, I’m big on firsts! It’s important to widen the horizon.

For years you’ve been sticking up for the underdogs – particularly, and obviously, the gay community. I’m a friend and family member, so of course. And we were all able to come together, at this one point, with everyone who’s worked at fighting for equality in the community for so long. This was an opportunity for everybody to step up at the right time, in the right moment – all of us together – and make a “little fable,” as Harvey likes to say, and put together some ideas in a catchy, rhythmic way. It’s to have people understand, because you can tell people stuff, but when you hear people’s personal experiences, that’s different.

That’s way different.

This does feel very relevant to what’s going on in the world right now. It’s like a love letter to the gay community. Was that at all one

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of your reasons for taking on Kinky Boots in the first place? I took on Kinky Boots years ago. But yeah, I’m very excited that that’s the case – so is Harvey and so is Jerry and so are all of us, even the producers.

This is a very key time for people to have an understanding about other people, to understand that you can overcome differences by acceptance and work together for the higher good.

In a sense, all of us can relate to drag performer Lola, played by Billy Porter, who struggles for acceptance. I sense that you two might have a lot in common. What do you think? I was Lola for a long time before Billy showed up! (Laughs) Harvey was Lola, too. And then there was Billy. But I was all those characters. You have to be.

What was your personal relationship to Kinky Boots? That Lola is a drag performer is inconsequential to the idea that here are people totally different from each other but yet they have something in common; they have the human being experience in common. I think everyone, no matter what, might or must feel at one point that they disappointed their dad. It’s about overcoming and acceptance, you know.

And healing.

Thirty or 40 years ago, did you see Broadway in your future? Forty years ago? No! No, no. I was just trying to get the hell out of those clubs.

Thirty years ago? No. I wanted to record music. I was very excited about recording music.

So when did Broadway become a reality for you? When Harvey called me. It was Harvey’s thing. He basically took me under his wing.

What are the kinkiest boots you have in your closet? All kinds of boots. I’ve got the big, red boots with the straps and buckles.

I got a lot of boots! I don’t think of them as kinky; I think of them as pretty and sexy.

What’s it like touring for your very first album, She’s So Unusual? Well, it’s the anniversary, so this tour’s a little different

because I’m actually singing the record the way it was recorded.

Right. What’s it like to have that, your earliest career accomplishment, intersect with the success of Kinky Boots, your latest accomplishment? It’s odd. I didn’t know I was gonna win the Tony, and I didn’t know that Kinky Boots would be nominated 13 times. So then we had to work, so I went to work. But I had no idea. I thought, “Well, I’ll have off in May, Tonys will come in June, then the tour.”

How has your relationship with the songs on She’s So Unusual changed since you wrote and recorded them for the first time over 30 years ago? I listen to it and understand why some other rock ’n’ rollers were frightened of me. It was a little different and confusing, I guess, for some people. It was funny, wildly nutty and yet it had some very deep moments, which must have been very confusing. Though I think it made perfect sense. It was very much me.

Are you still so unusual? I don’t know. I never really thought I was to begin with.

The only reason we called it that was because we were doing “He’s So Unusual” with “Yeah Yeah” and [producer] Bill [Wittman] turned around and said, “She’s so unusual.” And then we’re like, “Oh yeah, that’s a great title.” I knew for the rest of my life that’d be my handle … but, you know, I was a good sport! I never really thought I was that different. I thought what I wanted to do was different. The artistic things I wanted to do, maybe they were very different.

What can we expect from the next album?

I don’t know. My upcoming project is to take some time and sit on my big ol’ butt and not think for two seconds … and then it’ll come to me. Yes, I do want to do something else. I would like to work with Jerry; I’d like to work with Harvey. But right now I’m on tour. Maybe that was a good thing.

Get away from it and think about what I’d like to do, and then choose wisely.

Few performers have the connection you

do with the gay community. Reflecting on your career, when did you decide to take the community under your wing? Well, I always saw people being discriminated against – my friends and people that I work with. At first, I was going to just take refuge and sing in the clubs at night. I thought, “Hey, that’s a lot of fun.” But when I couldn’t take the conservative straight community, I would run home kind of, and then I started seeing a lot of disparity going on, things that were wrong. I just felt like, “These are my fans. You gotta help them have more love for themselves.” As they were taking civil rights away, I thought, “Somebody better say something. And in two seconds, I will.” And I did.

I had seen Harvey Fierstein speak and he said something once, that happy people don’t self-destruct – and I thought, “That’s right.” That’s all you want. People are different, but as long as they’re all happy, healthy-minded people then we’re all doing good, and how can I kind of change the image for them?

And then one thing led to another. First it was just some T-shirts. It was talking at Cher’s concert. It was doing stuff with (my sister) Ellen for PFLAG. One thing led to another till I saw more opportunities. We did the True Colors Tour. I wanted my own tour and everyone said, “Why don’t you call it True Colors?” I said, “We can’t call it True Colors without including the community, because this song has become a very important song for the community.” I started to see more and more what could and should be done. With the Give a Damn Campaign, I saw an opportunity because I’m straight.

I thought, “I shouldn’t be the only straight guy here. In every civil rights movement, you need everybody to stand up.”

I think everybody coming from all sides breaks down the walls a little bit.

Things are changing. You have to just get your foot in the door so it doesn’t close, and then keep widening that door till it opens. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

hear me out

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Best of 2013 (So Far)

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

10. YEAH YEAH YEAHS, Mosquito Karen O howls on “Sacrilege” as the sound revs with electric fury and the divine intervention of a gospel choir. “Buried Alive” features rap persona Dr. Octagon in what sounds like overhead music for an S&M dungeon.

The title track is really about a mosquito.

“He’ll suck your blood,” sings Karen O, even buzzing like one of them bugs. The album’s raucous absurdity is a complete mess. And what a glorious mess it is.

9. JESSIE WARE, Devotion It was “Wildest Moments” that had everyone talking about the remarkable cords, classy style and Sade-like smoothness of Jessie Ware. She was the ’90s of the new millennium. A minty breath in a room full of stale stench. And her debut is full of “moments”: The funk-soul “Running” struts, “If You’re Never Gonna Move” grooves and “Taking in Water,” for her gay brother, inspires.

8. HOLLY WILLIAMS, The Highway With her sinewy drawl and doleful suitcase of songs, Holly Williams – from the Hank lineage – has become Nashville’s unsung hero. Rooted in the American sound that marked her previous release, The Highway brims with the undressed, reflective and often-heavyhearted songwriting of Williams’ career. The acoustic “Waiting on June,” an achingly beautiful true tale of her grandparents’ long life together (the wedding, the babies, their deaths), will wreck you.

7. JAMES BLAKE, Overgrown An electro hypnosis, James Blake’s Overgrown is so quietly staged it permeates the subconscious first, unfurling its layers over time.

With graceful simplicity and the allure of his otherworldly – and sometimes even sexy (the sensational “Life Round Here” will tingle you) – baritone, this work is a breathtaking spectacle where songs subtly loop, morph and swell into sonic splendor.

6. VAMPIRE WEEKEND, Modern Vampires of the City The dainty gents of Vampire Weekend know a good hook.

“Diane Young” is delirious, drumpunched pop with wonky pitch-shifting, crunching and fizzing; it makes for one of the most infectious moments in music this year. They get into your head with the wistfulness of the horn-y, Celtic-kissed “Unbelievers,” Paul Simon-ed “Everlasting Arms” and eerie “Hudson.” Much credit to Ezra Koenig for that voice. It’s heaven.

5. THE NATIONAL, Trouble Will Find Me The Cincinnati quintet’s reliably strong catalog of melancholic mellowness got another noble release with Trouble Will Find Me, the understated sixth LP from a band as modest as their sound. The staggering opening trifecta – “Don’t Swallow the Cap” stands out most – is graceful and emphatic, with Matt Berninger’s achy Bono-like baritone taking center stage. But the closers are just as stunning, especially the conjured dream state of tenderhearted coda “Hard to Find.”

4. TEGAN AND SARA, Heartthrob Pop music doesn’t get much better than … Tegan and Sara’s latest? Stripping the grittiness of the sisters’ indierock-and-sometimesfolky sound for something more ’90s-boombox-made was a bold move – and a move that notches the best album of their career.

The songwriting still aches (see “How Come You Don’t Want Me”), the harmonies still intoxicate (“Now I’m All Messed Up” comes to a beautiful yin-yang close) … and the new sound – produced by pop go-to Greg Kurstin – throbs with heart.

3. KACEY MUSGRAVES, Same Trailer Different Park On “Merry Go ’Round,” Kacey Musgraves admitted something few in country music ever do: small-town life kind of sucks. Then came “Follow Your Arrow,” about staying true to yourself – even if you’re gay, and even if you like getting high. The rest of her major-label debut is equally unconventional, fresh-spirited and ballsy: The deceiving lullaby sparsity of “It Is What It Is” almost masks the suggestion of casual sex, and “Blowin’ Smoke” is a witty portrayal of a dead-end waitressing job. “I’m out here going broke,” she laments.

Not for long.

2. DAFT PUNK, Random Access Memories Nothing about Daft Punk’s disco-dipped futuristic fantasia is obvious, but then again, Daft Punk hasn’t just always gone outside the box musically – they’ve evaded the box altogether. They’re on the outer edge again with Random Access Memories, an already-ubiquitous game changer for the “One More Time” duo. This is a dazzling bravura of ambitious head trips, from the magic of “Contact” and “Instant Crush” to “Get Lucky” and its vintage feelgood vibes.

1. PATTY GRIFFIN, American Kid The profoundness of Patty Griffin goes back to her 1996 debut, but now – nearly 20 years later – this new pinnacle surely aligns her with other singersongwriter greats like Bruce Springsteen and Joni Mitchell. That’s because her thematic LP American Kid, inspired by her father’s death, is an American classic. It’s an elegy so viscerally and spiritually powerful – marked by poignancy, razor-sharp storytelling and a voice as rich as they come – that this enlightened work is Patty Griffin’s golden ticket to the pantheon of music legends.

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate and can be found at chris-azzopardi.com.

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SAGE Utah Annual Garden Party & Awards Brunch Sunday September 15, 2013, from 10:30 am to 1:30 pm IJ & Jeanne’ Wagner Jewish Community Center JCC, 2 N. Medical Drive, 801.581.0098 Salt Lake City, UT 84113

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Oz The Great and Powerful We’re off to see the wizard (but not Dorothy) as filmmaker Sam Raimi gives top billing to the great man behind the smoke screen, a circus fraud who becomes the fated ruler of a land far, far away when he’s swept up in a tornado and catapulted into gay heaven (so naturally he’s played by James Franco).

There are fairies, a cute monkey in a bell-captain costume, a talking china doll, some twists (Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz play witches; one is wicked), enough CGI effects to make The Wizard of Oz look its age and even some sexy-time innuendo. Because everything Franco does is a little bit sexual. Even if it’s for Disney.

Taking cues from the original, Raimi’s Oz knows its boundaries, honoring the 1939 classic with nostalgia, magic and the fantastical feel of transcending reality.

The extras show China Girl’s evolution from puppet to one of the most lovable animated dolls ever, the lavish art design and Kunis’ makeup metamorphosis.

The best, though, is a 22-minute filming doc seen through James Franco’s eyes. Because everything looks better through James Franco’s eyes.

Struck by Lightning Lightning didn’t strike for the Glee gay, Chris Colfer, when his first cinema outing debuted last year at the Tribeca Film Festival to dismal reviews and a limited theatrical showing. Sure, the indie “comedy” seemed promis-

screen queen ing. Colfer is a funny firecracker with a charming presence as Kurt on Glee. He managed to nab Rebel Wilson to do her Rebel Wilson thing. And the rest of the cast ain’t too shabby either: Christina Hendricks, Dermot Mulroney and Allison Janney, perfect even in this mess as his mother. This catastrophic strikeout, however, is DOA as Colfer’s unlikable high school narcissist, Carson, dies from a bolt of lightning in the opening scene, forcing us to endure flashbacks of after-school-special teen angst and awkwardly shoehorned family drama. It’s never funny. It’s never engaging.

It’s only struck by awfulness.

The extras have as little to say as the movie itself: a behind-thescenes segment and interviews with Colfer and director Brian Dannelly clock in at just two minutes each. There’s also 17 minutes of deleted scenes and bloopers that are even less funny than the movie, which seems almost impossible.

Any Day Now When Rudy Donatello (Alan Cumming), a West Hollywood drag performer, stumbles upon a neglected child with Down syndrome in a neighboring apartment, he reacts as any person with a heart would: He does something about it. Rudy, together with new boyfriend Paul Fliger (Garret Dillahunt), gives the affectionate doll-adoring Marco (Isaac Leyva) the home he never had. But so what. A legal system clouded with moral biases doesn’t look out for the best interest of this kid (is Marco really better off with his junkie mother?), and so his new family fights the court for custody of a child that everyone but them forgot about. Any Day Now, set in the late ’70s (which explains

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

Cumming’s moppy head of hair) and based on a true story, raises issues of prejudice, injustice, disability and stereotypes with Cumming in top form; as Rudy, he’s compellingly passionate and stalwart as he rigorously fights the blatant homophobia keeping him from Marco. An emotional peak bursts open the floodgates in a dramatic turn that makes Any Day Now a tough film to watch – and an even tougher one to shake. Extras are short and sweet: Filmmaker Travis Fine reflects on his personal relationship with the script, and we meet first-time actor Isaac Leyva.

Cloud Atlas For three maniacal hours, Cloud Atlas jumps between now, yesterday and tomorrow with a pool of characters – among them, a tragically affecting gay couple living closeted in 1931 – that transcend earth, space and the hereafter. The complexity of this Rubik’s Cube drama – with romance, comedy and suspense tearing through each story – is philosophically challenging, even off-putting at first, with its eternal love, time continuum and freedom ideologies, but it’s also a marvel to relish: actors bend genders and race (You’re seeing right; that’s Susan Sarandon as a man and Hugo Weaving as a female nurse), and time-shifting scenes fall into each other like magic. And there is, of course, just the grand ambition of trans co-writer Lana Wachowski, who with the other creators has obviously put her heart and soul into this rich, enveloping and deeply moving adaptation of the alsodense novel. This confounding and emotionally effective mind bender calls for an in-depth look, but the special features only offer short featurettes – several

featuring Wachowski – that barely fill in the blanks.

ALSO OUT Warm Bodies When you think zombies, you don’t think heart.

You think brains.

And Warm Bodies doesn’t skimp on head jelly as the walking dead take on mankind in this postapocalyptic comedy. But there’s an unexpected romantic crux a la Romeo and Juliet ... if Romeo ate people. Nicholas Hoult is “R,” a zombie who falls for Julie (Teresa Palmer) after he devours the brains of her boyfriend (Dave Franco). As they run from an even greater threat – and he from the humans, she from the bad zombies – they forge a romantic relationship rarely seen in a movie with organ eating. It’s adorable, hilarious and gross, but above all, it cleverly eats zombie stereotypes and finds new life in undead mythology. Packed with special features, owning Warm Bodies is a no-brainer.

Side Effects The first shot in Side Effects is of blood streaked across a hardwood floor. We then backtrack three months, the story twisting and turning as it has you wondering what you got yourself into: a PSA on antidepressants? An intense, crazy, manipulative thriller? Both? Steven Soderbergh directs a sexy cast of Hollywood hotness – Jude Law, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Channing Tatum and Dragon Tattoo badass Rooney Mara – in a wicked nail biter that’s as out of control as its shady protagonist,

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Emily Taylor (Mara), who goes mental when she’s put on a new experimental drug. And because Soderbergh has decided to queer up his career with Behind the Candelabra and Magic Mike, the lesbians get some girl-on-girl action when Jones and Mara make out. What we don’t get are many extras.

Identity Thief Looking very much like a ’90s drag queen who raided her grandma’s Florida condo closet, Melissa McCarthy plays a woman with no friends but lots of stuff. Stuff she bought on someone else’s dime. That someone is family man Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman), who tracks the scammer down. McCarthy lives up to the Bridesmaids hype with a comic powerhouse performance hinging on crazy caricature. Sometimes stooping low – fat jokes and derogatory name-calling abound – the comedy from Horrible Bosses director Seth Gordon requires a high tolerance for exploitative political incorrectness. Still, the critical bashing is overblown – it’s not a perfect comedy, but is it

knee-slapping funny? Yes. Very.

Is Melissa a riot? Duh. Bonus features include an extended cut of the film and alternate scene takes.

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Mama A horror movie that’s kind of ... precious? It’s true that the Guillermo del Toroproduced fright flick starring Jessica Chastain – rocking the Pat Benatar look – is a chilling, sometimes amusingly silly tale (see: the end) with spooks, jumps and bumps in the night. But “mama” doesn’t just snatch a couple girls and turn them into gnarly-looking roadrunner-fast kooks because she can. Chastain is solid – when is she not? – as a gothed-up mom figure who goes from self-centered caretaker to fullon guardian (aww). The role, like the awesomely absurd film, surprises by taking the road less traveled: What, character development in horror? A monster reveal early on? You know what they say: Mama knows best.

The short that inspired the full feature is included among generous extras.

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate and is at chris-azzopardi.com.

Q is now at GaySaltLake.com, facebook.com/qsaltlake, twitter.com/qsaltlake, issuu.com/qsaltlake, linkedin.com/qsaltlake and probably every other /qsaltlake out there.

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50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD

food& drink

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

The Rest of the Bodega

BY MATT ANDRUS AND JOSH JONES

Speakeasies

are the new tapas bar.

We’ve watched two open in Salt Lake in 2013, both shrouded in all the secrecy that Facebook and Twitter can afford. And although we’ve hopped on this culinary trend a couple years later than other cities, Main Street’s The Rest is competing on a level that puts speakeasies in much larger towns to shame.

I heard about The Rest through a friend of a friend, exactly as the owners had hoped; but I actually didn’t know it was a speakeasy, and I certainly didn’t know the password. So when we entered the Bodega and found a small convenience store on the right and an even smaller tavern on the left, everyone was confused. We checked out the convenience store, which hawks perfectly-placed Brillo pads, Virgin Mary candles, and private-labeled coffee bags all behind a countertop lacquered with Playboy covers. We then walked three feet to our left and ordered a Bodego Ale from a very attractive and friendly beer slinger, in what must be the smallest tavern in Salt Lake. After some meddling questions he knew we were onto the gimmick and he told us the restaurant was downstairs

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through a locked, industrial door. Oh! Exciting! He called down and received permission to open the gates of Narnia for us.

The industrial doors led to a very generic, industrial staircase, which, two flights down, led to another industrial door. He unlocked that door and we stepped into another world. A beautiful woman playing an Al Green vinyl sat us at the bar. The restaurant behind us was aglow in hundreds of hanging Edison light bulbs. A vault at the end of the bar housed the kitchen and beside that, a lounge which seemed like a set-piece out of True Blood; dark lighting, old books and terrariums filled the shelves.

Vampires would feel at home in this space.

At the bar, a very inventive cocktail list is followed by a very un-inventive, but unique wine list. Wine is listed in a matrix of fair, decent, good and by white, red, bubbly ... I found it a bit too gimmicky. I’m not a wine snob, but I know enough about the labels in Utah to make my own decision about what is good, and what is not.

After perusing the beer list, we found the mixologist too hard to pass up with his large arms and tight pants. He could have served Popov, but instead he brought beautifully mixed cocktails, well balanced with fresh herbs. I had rye with cucumber, mint and a large, slow-melting cube of ice.

The appetizers came quickly: pickled onions rings had a terrific ‘bite’ of vinegar and were served with Sriracha mayo. Even more inventive was the meatloaf, which was really a pate served with tomato jelly (they called it Ketchup) and toast points. It

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

was sumptuous — the flavors melted in your mouth faster than cotton candy.

Several days later we ordered the honey-glazed beer-can chicken. It was preceded with a complimentary basket of sliced jalapeño cornbread that may have stolen the show. My family in the South would be very happy; perfectly cooked crusty edges with a moist, delicate crumb ... delicious. We weaved back into the gimmicky territory when the chef presented our whole chicken (beer still in the ass) and asked if, “we’d like to name it.” I found out later it was a quote from Portlandia and it was also the same question I overheard him ask the first time we were there. Oh well, the bird more than made up for the slight

ruse. The crispy skin led to a perfectly moist chicken which served four men just fine (even though the menu says two).

The chicken was accompanied by a creamy, hearty ‘salad’ of asparagus and potato.

I’d be remiss not to mention the service — the upstairs beer slinger, the vinyl spinner, the hot mixologist and Vonnegut, our beautiful server were all perfect — just like The Rest ... every corner leads to another treasure, whether it be the service, food or ambiance.

Convenience store, tavern, pub, library, speakeasy, art gallery or restaurant, The Rest is a delightful rabbit hole. Q Bodega is at 331 S. Main Street. Reservations for The Rest can be made at 801-532-4452. But we didn’t tell you that. bodega331.com

FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

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52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

Blue Crabs, Natty Boh and World-Class Wine

BY DAVID WHITE

Now that

Independence Day is behind us, the summer is in full swing. Barbecues, hikes, and lazy days at the pool abound. And most of us are itching to leave town — eager to spend some time away from work, escaping from it all.

Wine enthusiasts are fortunate in that we get to go somewhere virtually every night.

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

wine terroirist

How? As food, wine, and spirits expert Anthony Dias Blue once explained, “wine is a passport to the world.”

Consider Muscadet, a French white wine produced around the city of Nantes, where the Loire River flows into the Atlantic Ocean.

Made from a grape called

“Melon de Bourgogne,” the wines are marked by subtle-yet-precise aromas of apples, limes, and seawater. Thanks to extended contact with the dead yeast cells left over after fermentation, Muscadet is also known for exhibiting a creamy mouthfeel.

Nantes’ local cuisine takes full advantage of the Loire River and the Atlantic, so unsurprisingly, these wines are perfect with shellfish and seafood dishes.

I’ve never been to Nantes, but every time I open a bottle of Muscadet, I’m taken to the coast of western France – and find myself craving mussels and fries.

Similarly, whenever I sip Australian Shiraz, I picture myself at a campfire in the Outback with a giant slab of beef.

The list goes on. Rioja inspires visions of a tapas crawl in the Spanish city of Logroño. When I drink Fiano — a crisp, Italian white — I find myself in southern Italy enjoying a fresh caprese salad. Beer might be the most popular pairing for bratwurst, but when I drink Riesling, I envision myself in Germany enjoying panfried sausage over sauerkraut with spicy mustard. Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc

takes me back to those perfect evenings I’ve had in wine country dining al fresco with friends.

Wine is also a connection to the past.

I’ll never forget the evening some friends and I opened a perfectly cellared bottle of Bordeaux from 1919.

For starters, the wine still had life in it — savory, dark fruit was backed by notes of roasted nuts, eucalyptus, and cedar.

More importantly, though, the wine inspired a conversation about the lives of those who made it. The Treaty of Versailles was signed in 1919, officially ending World War I. So that wine was made while cleaning up from the wreckage of the first global war and hoping for a brighter future.

That experience can easily be replicated. Many fortified wines — think Port and Madeira — can literally age for centuries.

Opening one is like opening a time capsule.

This romanticism — the understanding that wine is a window to other places and cultures — isn’t unique. A few years ago, I interviewed David Denton, a wine educator and sommelier in Washington, D.C. In explaining how he developed his passion for wine, Denton eloquently summarized this very concept.

“Wine is like travel in a bottle,” he explained. “For the cost of a bottle of wine, you can escape to somewhere exotic. You can get lost in the label, thinking about where the wine came from and who made it.”

Vacation season has arrived. But if you’re into wine, there’s no need to wait for your next adventure. Q David White, a wine writer, is the founder and editor of Terroirist.com. His columns are housed at Palate Press: The online wine magazine at PalatePress.com

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54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER:

It’s History

PIPE SHOOTING RIOT ___________ _____

cryptogram JANE’S WORLD

A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED

BY CS. THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: L = M

Theme: The Threat of Gay Marriage:

DWIIPWXN NVCWQPKT KZINWKNJR KIWSPKPAJWQ DWIIPWXN PJ KZN RWDN EWT KZWK WGAQPRZPJX RQWHNIT DWSN MINNSAD QNRR NJLATWGQN MAI EZPKN ONAOQN. ________ ________ _________ ___________ _______ __ ___ ____ ___ ____ __________ _______ ____ _______ ____ _________ ___ _____ ______.

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 62

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 55

56 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Q doku

Level: Medium Medium

8 2 3 4 5 1 3 2 6 5

7 8

5

6 1

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

9 4 8

6

9

1 5 4 8

7 8 3 9 6 7 1 3 2 3 4 6 1 6 5 2 5 8 9 2 6 5 7 3 5 4 3 9 2 7 5 4 6 7 6 4 2 1 2 7 5 8 3

5 6 7 3

1 2 3 9 5 8 4 3 6

3 4 5 1 3 9 8 8 6 9 7 9 4 4 2 3 5 2 8 5 9 4 8 2 3 6 7 4 9 8 7 4 6 7 5 5 4 9 1 9 2 3 3 2 5 6

8

5 5 4 3

1

4 5 9

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q scopes

BY SAM MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19 Your temper will flare a lot this month. Stay grounded and “get on your knees” as much as possible. Keeping a low profile will ensure staying out of trouble. Being submissive may not feel natural to you, but don’t underestimate the pleasure of letting others do all the work sometimes.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Your head is saying one thing and your heart is telling you another. This is odd to you, Taurus; you are accustomed to a sense of order and harmony. Don’t be afraid to explore your cravings.

Make your head service your heart by using it as a guide to your hearts desires this month.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 There is an old saying: you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. However, you have a youthful spirit and you’ll find many new tricks in store for you. Learning is exciting and many opportunities for fun will present themselves. Avoid being overwhelmed by absorbing the various offerings.

CANCER June 21–July 22 There is a pressure within you, the result of putting your emotions aside to appear stronger. Don’t forget: emotions define you and make you the best you can be. Allow the gentle side to show while remaining dominant in action regarding the positions you are passionate about.

than you realize.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Much of what you think you know is challenged this month. A one-on-one encounter with a friend or group will teach you adaptation in a sticky situation. Finding perfection is not about finding literal balance, but enjoying the art of improvisation in surprising moments.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 You will be bombarded with challenges. Are you up for it?

Your spirit may be stretched, but you enjoy the challenge of compromising positions more than you thought. Be flexible and adapt to whatever comes your way to handle obligations with ease. Overcoming a big task provides the satisfaction you crave.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22– December 20.

A stubborn horse can still be ridden if allowed some roaming privileges. The flow of life will be much the same way, taking detours before arriving at the ultimate goals.

Don’t be in a rush to reach the climax of your journey. Reflect on the discoveries of taking an erratic path this month.

CAPRICORN Dec. 21– Jan. 19 Explore yourself, Capricorn.

Meditate and allow your imagination to explode. The circular path of life returns to a place of reflection this month. What is old is new again, and you will find that a splash of familiarity gives new meanings to old pre-conceptions. Your views are always evolving.

LEO July 23–August 22 Enemies make for dangerous friends, Leo. Nothing wrong with trying to get along with everyone, but don’t open yourself to those who don’t fit into your tight agenda. Feel free to ask for help, but weigh everything; the price of help may be too high or not worth the consequences.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Deep inside of you is a wild animal longing to get out. You cannot tame the beast inside, but releasing it for some fresh air will be the best medicine. Allow yourself some wild moments but don’t let go of the leash. Someone you care about could get their feelings hurt if things go too far.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 You are an enigma to many people, Virgo. But you will discover this month that you are an enigma to yourself as well. A change in job or home will draw you closer to the “back alleys” of your mind.

What you’ll find there is that the world changes but often, you do not.

Fitting in becomes more important

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 The world has been sucking up your spirits lately. While this may seem draining on your soul, don’t forget: your troubles and woes are being swallowed as well. Hold what is dear to you close to your heart, Pisces. Your grasp will hold if you stay true to yourself; the rest will be sucked away. Q

CROSSWORD | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 57

july, 2013 | issue 220

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

ask mr. manners

Bedroom blues

BY ROCK MAGEN

Dear Mr. Manners, I am writing because I need some advice. I am not a Utah native and I’ve been here for about three years (god, has it been that long?). Anyway, I’ve been seeing the most adorable young ex-Mormon man for about a year. I am originally from San Francisco where there’s more access and knowledge about some more diverse interests in the bedroom. I’ve broached the subject of taking things to the next level a little in the bedroom (always safe). But when I do, things get tense. What do I do? How should I get my boyfriend to break out of his shell?

— Blue Balls Boy Dear BBB, To quote a fortune cookie I once received, “Do not dwell on differences with a loved one. Try to compromise.” Addressing any bedroom matter can be a sensitive subject, however, like all delicate subjects your success is in the approach. That being said, it sounds like the two of you need to sit down and really talk the situation through. On the topic of conversation, a gentleman never beats around the bush. But I believe that mantra is best followed by, “a gentleman never knowingly insults another person; neither does he revel in the embarrassment of others.” The relationship that you describe sounds solid, so I wonder if your partner’s insecurity in your desire to “explore more” comes from just a general lack of exposure to what you have seen in your life — Utah is not San Francisco.

When attempting to have

this lover’s conversation, you have two options. You could jump right into it and continue your pattern of making your partner uncomfortable, or you could use the art of persuasion.

Not to sound cliché, but we all know the neck turns the head.

And in this case it sounds that both heads are having a problem. Maybe this is a chance to work together and come to a common solution. Is there any way to try and start bringing some of these other practices into your normal play without making them seem foreign or overwhelming? Now, by no means am I Dr. Ruth, but I do know that compromise brings results, and that famous last words have began with the phrase, “let’s just do it!”

As a final note of caution, make sure you are picking your battles wisely. Do not let something that makes your partner feel uncomfortable spiral out of control. Beneath your bedroom habits, hopefully lies something much deeper — something worth making compromises for. Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss or dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen, but felt only by heart. Bedroom compatibility is extremely important, but don’t let it override all that you have fought to build in the relationship.

As for your concern about being in Utah so long, I have no definite answers. For you see, I too am in the same boat, and that ship refuses to set sail! Q Email Rock at manners@qsaltlake.com

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

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SCENE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 59

60 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

the dating diet

Four Wettings and a Funeral 0BY ANTHONY PAULL

I’m mistaken;

I thought dating was over, passé, pedestrian, but I’ve come to find we’ve simply altered the rules.

Blame it on evolution or survival of the indiscriminate if you will, but I feel the Internet - the need for ’social’ networking - has shape-shifted us into a new species that no longer identifies with the concept of boundaries, particularly when it comes to interacting with friends face-to-face.

“So? I slept with Drake, big deal,” Patrick says, while catching a beer with me at a German pub. “I’m not even sure what Drake is to me anyway.”

“Well, for the last three years, he’s been one of your best friends.”

“Oh ... yeah, hm,” he says, quickly slurping his Guinness to avoid the awkwardness of the moment. “Well, I had to guilt someone into sleeping with me. What the hell was I supposed to do? I haven’t had sex in like, two months.”

Yes, two months! There’s no telling how long that is in dog years or asshole years.

Therefore, I should understand, and I should accept the fact that Patrick resorted to the desperate measure of doing Drake - an act which technically, I’d be fine with if it wasn’t for his tactics: specifically his ’woe is me’ method, where usually after drowning in three beers, he openly questions why anyone would have sex with him. “I’m so fat and ugly!”

“I can’t believe that actually works,” I groan.

“Dude, of course it works. Women have been doing it for years,” he assures me.

My response: whiplash, coupled by a few gratuitous eye-blinks. “Stop being so dramatic. You know I just can’t have sex with anyone.” Surveying the bar, he leans in for a whisper. “You know my problem.”

Yes, besides a martyr, Patrick is also a

sharp-shooter, the quickest gun in town.

In other words, he pre-ejaculates. Mainly, before he gets his zipper down....

“You know, I bet some guys find that sexy,” I inform him.

“Oh bullshit, Anthony. You always try to make everything sexy,” he jabs. “There’s nothing sexy about it.” ’Tis true, but I’m grasping for straws to make light of the situation. I hear that’s what you do as a friend. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I should just start having sex with him. Is that how it works? Seriously, I haven’t dated for awhile so I don’t know.

We’re in a bar. We’re having drinks, talking sex. Could my flattery be considered a come-on? When your friends start having sex with one another how do you know where you stand with any of them...ever?

The next day, I contemplate this while heading to the funeral of another friend’s grandmother. I wonder about my role in the funeral. Should I be attending? Is this what my friend would want? I can’t call and bother him, and I’m not sure if it’s wise for him to bother me either - mainly because I’m pathetic, and still dealing with the death of my 9 yr. relationship.

Each of us, we’re swallowing so much loss and sadness. We each need a helping of support, so why do I question if it’s proper for me to provide him that support today?

Who knows? Maybe I’m more confused than Patrick about roles in a friendship. Or maybe I’m just too horny to think straight.

Would life be more clear if I said screw it and started screwing everyone too?

“Dude, it happened again,” Patrick says.

On the phone, his voice sounds panicky, as I drive up the crowded interstate to the church. “I shot all over Drake’s leather couch. I couldn’t stop it. Dude, I got some on his cat...hit him like a bullet.”

“I don’t need all the details.”

Get this, and every, issue in its entirety at issuu.com/qsaltlake

“Please, I can’t deal with this. What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing!” I yell. “It happens to a lot of guys. It’s normal. Get on medication and get over it!”

“Well, you don’t have to be nasty.

What’s your problem?”

“I’m on my way to a funeral.”

“Oh,” he says, concerned. Then he goes silent, turning the ’oh’ into an ooh when he forms an idea. Maybe if he were to have sex somewhere completely un-sexy, like a, hm, funeral, he’d be able to perform longer.

He’d drop atom bombs. “Dude, why didn’t I think of this earlier? I just have to have sex somewhere where I’m totally turned off. Any ideas?”

There’s no telling “Well, why how long that is don’t try my car, because in dog years or right now, I asshole years seem to be totally turned off in it...probably because of this conversation.”

Patrick doesn’t find me funny. I’m not being supportive, he says. If I were a good friend, I would help him; I would have an answer. Sadly, he tells me that his ailment fails to allow him to feel like a real man. What will Drake think of him if he can’t fully perform? What will Drake tell everyone?”

“He’s your friend. He won’t tell anyone anything,” I assure him, walking into the church.

He lingers with a response. “Maybe that’s why we have sex with friends, because we trust them,” he says.

“Yeah, and maybe that’s why I’m not having sex,” I admit. “Because lately, I can’t remember what a real friend is.” Q Anthony Paull’s debut novel “Outtakes of A Walking Mistake” was recently chosen as an NPR Finalist for Best Teen Novel Ever.

july, 2013 | issue 220

SEX | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 61

62 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 221 | august, 2013

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of pioneer woodwork

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

was able to lag behind just a bit so that I ended up following behind everyone else, thus sparing me this immediate occasion and excitement. to bear my testimony. Thankfully, the rise Way back during the Cretaceous Period, in my Levi’s subsided during our baptismal when I was just a hormone-throbbing orientation. teen — and way before I discovered Aqua I remembered thinking upon viewing Net and Lee Press on Nails — the young the baptismal font, perched on the shoulMormon men in my ward were scheduled ders of the twelve oxen, with the bridge to go to the Temple in Logan and perform leading into it, that the pioneers knew baptisms for the dead. I was excited to see how to produce a very stylish hot tub. inside the Temple, and nervous because My feelings of dread and apprehension I don’t really like putting my head under re-awakened when we went into the group water so much. changing room to dress in white baptismal We gathered at the church house and clothes. Apparently, the pioneers saw no packed all thirteen of us into two cars for need for private changing booths. Like a the forty-five minute ride to the Temple. frightened mouse, I quickly commandeered After some subtle yet very calculated mathe furthest, darkest corner and remained nipulations, I ended up in one of the back facing the corner while I changed into my seats, solidly wedged against “Tim,” toward pure-white clothing. Success! I emerged whom I just so happened to be holding from the changing room, as yet not disa secret raging crush. Teenage hormones graced, ready to proceed. being what they were, I began to feel “my There were two elders assigned to testimony” welling up deep within. As we perform the baptisms. The first was just a drove mile after mile, with every bump in little old wrinkled wisp of a man, about 6o the road, I soon realized I was sailing at full years old. A medium-sized back wave could mast and it was harder than trigonometry. have surfed him right out of the font and As we drew closer to Logan, and the lighted skewered him on the horns of one of the towers of the Temple became visible to us oxen. The other attendant took my breath from the car, I became very quiet. I’m sure away. He was 6-foot-4, with broad shoulthe other guys thought that I was reverders, narrow waist and perfect teeth that ently meditating on the spiritual aspects of gleamed when he smiled. He was everybaptism; however, in reality, a slow simmerthing that a budding Aaronic princess-ining dread had developed within my bosom training could ever have dreamed of. I was that the other guys might bear witness to immediately accosted with a barrage of immy testimony when we got out of the car. pure thoughts. Oh, the horror, to be inside Luckily, when we arrived there was some the Temple and to have impure thoughts. I general confusion as we exited the cars. I surely will be going Cryptogram: Marriage equality threatens traditional marriage to Hell.

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS in the same way that abolishing slavery made freedom less enjoyAnagram: PROPOSITION EIGHT able for white people.

The two men took turns baptizing the members of the group. I was immediately torn. I very much wanted Elder Hunk to be the one who grasped me in his strong arms and baptized me, although I was pretty sure to the Temple is fraught with danger

it might precipitate another “testimony crisis.”

When the baptisms began, Elder Hunk entered the pool and as his clothing became wet, his pristine white shirt clung to his magnificent torso. I could actually see the ridges of his six-pack. God is indeed great!

In an effort to purge my impure thoughts, I concentrated on the craftsmanship of the ornate pioneer woodwork and moldings in the room. This had limited success in preventing me from sporting some woodwork of my own. It came to be my turn. I got up and crossed the small bridge into the font and wouldn’t you know it, Elder Hunk was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, smiling his perfect smile, holding out his hand, welcoming me into the water. Oh, the thrill!

Oh, the horror! Look at that delicately carved handrail!

Elder Hunk grasped my shoulders firmly with his tender hands. I sensed a stirring in my groin. That certainly is intricate tile work! He pulled me close to him so that our bodies were touching. Oh my, what a beautiful chandelier! I could feel the power in his hands as they grasped mine.

My goodness, that table has a beehive carved in it! His bulging thigh pressed tightly against mine for leverage. Look at that antique doorknob! We began.

Any thrill I was experiencing was immediately dissipated when Elder Hunk’s muscular arms thrust me under the water and I was reduced to a sputtering, quivering, near drowning princess. We repeated the ceremony twenty-five times. With each rinse-and-repeat, another thought was washed away. If admiring the woodwork couldn’t purge my feelings, the quest for oxygen certainly would. Later, with reputation still intact, at least for a few more years, a somewhat soggy princess emerged from the Temple, destined to have more “impure thoughts” on another day.

Like always these events leave us with several eternal questions: 1. Is this how hot tub parties began?

2. Can you buy a hot tub perched atop twelve oxen at Homo Depot?

3. How difficult would it be to install a hot tub on the shoulders of twelve Adonis’?

4. Are baptism ceremonies the origination of wet T-shirt contests?

5. Is this the inspiration behind waterboarding?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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2 8 6 9 7 5 4 1 3

august, 2013 | issue 221 | gaysaltlake.com

2Q13

SEX | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 63

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