QSaltLake October 2013

salt lake magazine

UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

October 2013 Issue 223 GaySaltLake.com

Interview:

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

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Gay Salt Lake, Inc. 1055 East 2100 South, ste 206 Salt Lake City, Utah 84106 tel: 801-649-6663 toll-free: 1-800-806-7357 Contact emails: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

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IRS will recognize all couples in same-sex marriage The U.S. Department of the Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service announced a ruling that will ensure all legally married same-sex couples, regardless of where they live, will be recognized for federal tax purposes after the U.S. Supreme Court struck down much of the Defense of Marriage Act. “With today’s ruling, committed and loving gay and lesbian married couples will now be treated equally under our nation’s federal tax laws, regardless of what state they call home,” said Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin. “These families finally have access to crucial tax benefits and protections previously denied to them under the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act.”

Medicare benefits for same-sex married couples determined by ‘place of celebration’ The Department of Health and Human Services announced Thursday what it calls its “first guidance” since the Supreme Court’s historic DOMA decision changed the landscape for federal agencies. HHS, which oversees Medicare, will adopt the “place of celebration” standard when granting Medicare benefits to same-sex couples. If a couple was married in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage, then they are entitled to benefits, no matter where they live.

“The guidance clarifies that this guarantee of coverage applies equally to all married couples,” reads the HHS release. “The guidance specifically clarifies that this guarantee of coverage applies equally to couples who are in a legally recognized same-sex marriage, regardless of where they live.”

Parent sues South Carolina high school over bullying by teacher In a lawsuit filed in the Charleston County Court of Common Pleas, S.C., a mother claims that math teacher Alan Ingram bullied her son to such an extent that the teen attempted to take his own life.

The suit alleges that Ingram, “began bullying plaintiff in class, in front of plaintiff’s classmates, by telling plaintiff’s classmates that plaintiff was ‘gay,’ and by calling plaintiff names and belittling him in the presence of his classmates.”

The teen has withdrawn from school and is being taught at home while undergoing mental health counseling.

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)

San Antonio passes nondiscrimination ordinance On Thursday the city council of San Antonio, TX passed a non-discrimination measure that provides protections for gay and transgender residents on an 8-3 vote.

San Antonio, the seventh largest city in America, joins almost 180 other cities in America that prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

New Mexico counties are issuing same-sex marriage licenses After several New Mexico counties began issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples last month, prompting a legal challenge, the state’s Supreme Court agreed on Sept. 6 to decide once and for all whether same-sex marriage should be legal statewide. A hearing is set for Oct. 23 to consider a request from all 33 counties statewide to settle the matter.

The court had previously declined to intervene on the issue, saying they would leave it to the lower courts to rule on lawsuits being filed in different counties.

In August, a district judge in Santa Fe, the capital, ruled that New Mexico’s constitution didn’t bar same-sex matrimony and ordered a local government clerk there to either issue marriage licenses to samesex couples or appear in court to explain why she couldn’t.

Days later, a district judge in Bernalillo County, which includes Albuquerque, ruled that denying same-sex couples the right to marry violates state constitutional provisions guaranteeing equal protection under the law and barring gender-based discrimination.

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro remarked, “this is about saying there are no second-class citizens in San Antonio.”

Proposed Russian law would deny gay parents custody of their children A new law has been proposed to the Russian Parliament that would deny custody of their children to gay parents. The bill, published in draft form on the parliament website on September 4, would make the “fact of nontraditional sexual orientation” legal grounds for denying custody. Current Russian law lists alcoholism, drug use, and child abuse as reasons to deny custody.

“Following the letter of the law that forbids propaganda of non-traditional sex to minors we must restrict such propaganda not only in mass media but also the family.

If one of the child’s parents indulges in sexual contact with persons of the same sex, the damage to the child’s psyche is immense as a mother or father serves as an example for their offspring,” wrote bill sponsor Alexei Zhuravlev.

The 33 county clerks, meanwhile, joined by the New Mexico Association of Counties, subsequently petitioned the high court to weigh in on the decision and decide whether the judge’s ruling should extend statewide.

Separately, several Republican lawmakers filed a lawsuit challenging a Dona Ana County clerk who began voluntarily handing out marriage licenses to same-sex couples last month. Several counties have done likewise since then, some on their own and some under court order.

Both sides in the debate welcomed the intervention of the Supreme Court.

“I think it’s excellent,” said state Rep. Anna Crook, a Republican from the town of Clovis, one of 29 lawmakers who have so far joined the lawsuit in Dona Ana County. “It’s been absolute chaos. We need to have a ruling one way or the other instead of ‘my county can, yours can’t.’”

A statement from the American Civil Liberties Union, representing couples in the Bernalillo County case, said gay rights proponents hope Friday’s move “will lead to a speedy decision establishing the freedom to marry for all same-sex couples in New Mexico.”

If same-sex marriage supporters prevail, New Mexico would join 13 other states and the District of Columbia in legalizing same-sex matrimony.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Robert Redford addresses record crowd at Equality Utah Allies Dinner This year’s Equality Utah Allies Dinner sold out faster than any other year. Set in one of the largest banquet halls in the state, over 2,000 people packed the Salt Palace Grand Ballroom to support the group’s work.

Originally scheduled to appear was actor Sean Penn, who won an Academy Award for his role as gay rights activist Harvey Milk in the movie, Milk.

Due to a change in schedule for his filming in Europe, Penn was forced to cancel and Robert Redford agreed to take his place.

Redford said he chose to speak at the event to show his support for equality in Utah.

“I’m here for the same reason you are — equal rights for all,” he said. “Like you, I believe there is no place in our world for discrimination. None. It is un-American.”

“I hope in this particular case that Utah can catch up,” he added. “If we change discriminatory laws in Utah, it sets a benchmark for people in other states. It allows people to see what can be done.”

He talked about how his Sundance Film Festival has been showing gay-positive films for decades and that their stories change minds and lives.

“The power of your personal story has the power to move hearts and minds, break down barriers and change points of view,” he said.

“Utah is changing. There are good people in Utah. More people want to change the discriminatory laws than want to keep them. People should be able to marry whomever they love,” he said.

Redford closed with a quote from T.S. Elliott, “There is only the trying. The rest is not our

business” “Utahns are all about fairness,” says Brandie Balken, executive director of Equality Utah, “and they overwhelmingly support extending our existing state-wide non-discrimination statute to include sexual orientation and gender identity. Hard working Utahns are being fired from their jobs and evicted from their homes just because they happen to be gay or transgender. Making sure that good employees have a means to support themselves and the people they love and good tenants have a roof over their head is just common sense.”

“We’ve had incredible success passing local ordinances in 15 cities and local governments across the state, sending a strong cultural signal of support to our state legislature,” Balken continued. Q

The Grand Ballroom at the Salt Palace Convention Center is prepped for the annual Allies Dinner with over 2,000 attendees.

Governor welcomes gay advocates to the 7th reception the mansion

BY CRAIG OGAN

Utah Governor Gary Herbert hosted the Utah Log Cabin Republicans and other gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender activists, allies and public officials at the Governor’s Mansion on Sept. 4.

Among the 80-plus guests were ULCR members, national Log Cabin Republicans President Gregory T. Angelo, Equality Utah Executive Director Brandie Balken, Equality Utah staff, Utah State Republican Party Chair James Evans and political consultant and former state party chair David Hansen.

Herbert lauded ULCR for being involved in the politi-

cal process. He acknowledged policy disagreements, but said the relationships ULCR builds help Utah government serve all citizens more fully.

He thanked ULCR President James Humphreys for his involvement in many local and statewide issues.

Utah’s strong growth was cited by the governor as proof that the philosophy of governance prevalent in Utah shows results.

Angelo said this seventh annual gathering is the longest running event of this type in the country. He cited Utah’s school bullying bills with

LGBTQ protections as proof of the success of the networking.

Angelo praised U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch for voting to move Federal ENDA legislation out of committee to the full Senate.

Marriage equality, adoption and a statewide nondiscrimination law were also advocated

by Angelo.

Humphreys says that several state legislators and other officials attended, including Rep. Rhonda Menlove, RTremonton, Rep. Derek Brown, R-Cottonwood Heights and Sen. Todd Weiller, R-Woods Cross and Utah State Auditor John Dougall.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Salt Lake hosts annual int’l Affirmation conference

BY MICHAEL AARON

The annual international conference of Affirmation Gay and Lesbian Mormons took place in Salt Lake City the weekend of Sept. 13–15 at the Fort Douglas Conference Center on the University of Utah Campus. Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young and his wife Barb were the keynote speakers of the event, stressing the theme of “building bridges.” The Youngs made national news during California’s Proposition 8 campaign simply be being Mormon and placing a “No on 8” sign in their yard. They have since supported the Trevor Project and other charities.

The Youngs spoke to a crowd of 400 people at an “Evening of Affirmation” after a performance by the Affirmation Choir, which was created just for the conference, a speech by the mother of a day son and grandmother of two gay grandchildren, Judy Finch, and a performance by dancer Benji Schwimmer, winner of So You Think You Can Dance: Season 2.

Steve Young told stories of how he learned humility and faith. Being shorter than most quarterbacks, he said, put him at a disadvantage. He overcame

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that challenge by “throwing blind,” with the faith that he knew where his intended receiver was. He said that faith is the “fundamental fuel for the human experience.”

“If the experience is to return to our Heavenly Father, faith is the fuel from beginning to end,” he said. “We need to see each other as Jesus sees us.”

He ended his talk by reaching out to his audience.

“I’m a Mormon, and I want to build bridges of understanding with my gay brothers and sisters. I consider you my friends,” he said. “Let’s seek to develop more love, for each other wherever we can.”

Young then introduced his wife, Barb, by calling her an ardent supporter of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

“She has a wand that she walks up to every human being that she meets, and it goes over them, and it checks them for a heart for her gay brothers and sisters,” he joked. “There is not a place that she isn’t spreading love for you.”

Barb Young spoke gleefully about her excitement for addressing the conference, especially because it was in Salt

Barb and Steve Young were the keynote speahers of the internation Affirmation conference in Salt Lake City

Lake City two months after “The Supreme Court killed both DOMA and Prop 8.” She thanked Carol Lynn Pearson, who also spoke at the conference, for being “in front of this movement, that I call the love movement.”

“I love when love wins. I love when love conquers all,” she said. When she sees a loving gay couple, she marvels that love overcame societal issues and triumphed. “You have gone through the fire — the fire that shouldn’t even be here — and nonetheless you are here, surviving, thriving, like a phoenix from the flames.”

“You, my LGBT brothers and sisters, were chosen to be born at this time for this lesson for

humanity,” she said. “You were chosen to raise the spiritual consciousness of this time.”

She urged those in the room to be “patient like Jesus” and to love LDS church members as they move toward understanding of their LGBT family members.

“One of the most beautiful things about this church is that it can evolve,” she said. “It may not go as fast as everyone wants, but it is evolving.”

In the end, Barb Young said, everything depends on how fully Mormons live their faith.

“If we consciously embrace Jesus’ teaching of empathy, compassionate, and love, the future world will be different,” she said. Q

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

Idaho Falls passes nondiscrimination ordinance After a marathon day, beginning at 8:30 a.m. and ending after midnight, Idaho Falls, Idaho, Mayor Jared Fuhriman broke a 3–3 tie to pass an ordinance that bans discrimination in the areas of housing and employment based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

City Council members began working on the ordinance at an 8:30 a.m. work session Thursday, Sept. 13, and the city council meeting began at 7:30 p.m. The mayor cast the deciding vote after midnight.

The ordinance is similar to the one that passed in Pocatello, Idaho, following much controversy earlier this year.

Like many of Utah’s “Common Ground” ordinances pushed by Equality Utah, it is meant to protect the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community by preventing discriminatory acts based on sexual orientation and gender identity when it comes to employment and housing opportunities.

A sticking point for this ordinance was a public accommodations provision, which was the topic of fliers spread throughout the town earlier in the week. Council President Ida Hardcastle said she has received 190 emails both for and against the proposal in the past five days Although Hardcastle said

many people support non-discrimination standards when it comes to housing and employment, there are a lot of people who don’t want any public accommodation requirements included in the proposal due to some “misinformation out there” and concerns that it could impact facilities like restrooms.

Councilwoman Karen Cornwell made a motion to include the public accommodations language. But her motion failed on a 2–4 vote with Cornwell and Councilman Thomas Hally voting in favor of the amendment.

Testimony by more than 45 people lasted nearly three hours.

“This is a significant ordinance, one of the most significant ordinances to come before us in this community,” Fuhriman testified, according to the Post-Register. “(It has been) important that we take our time and do it right. We want to make sure this is something we, today, can be proud of as we move forward.”

Blair Taylor, who serves on the Idaho Falls Pride Committee that is organizing the area’s first Pride Festival this weekend, said he loves the fact that people are talking about the issue. He disagrees with discussions surrounding the striking of the public accommodation

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

portion and frustrated by the fact that there are some exceptions to the non-discrimination ordinance, such as not applying to businesses with fewer than five employees.

“That’s not a good thing,” Taylor said, adding that a large por-

tion of the businesses in town would meet that exception.

“Equality should be across the board,” he told the Idaho State Journal. He said the ordinance shouldn’t be different than those laws that protect women and minorities. Q

LDS leaders instruct members to ‘study’ Hawaiian marriage equality In a letter dated September 15, 2013, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints members of the Honolulu West Stake in Hawaii were asked to study pending marriage equality legislation “prayerfully” and with thought to “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” a document delivered to Mormons by late LDS President Gordon Hinckley in 1995, which forms part of the basis of LDS opposition to marriage equality. In the letter, read at church services and relief society meetings, the leaders ask members to contact their legislators to express their views about the legislation.

The letter also instructs church members to review other publications at lds.org, and asks them to “consider donating your time or resources to one of the community organizations addressing this issue.”

The letter, signed by three members of the stake presidency, also asks members “whether or not [they] favor the proposed change” to urge their

legislators to include in any new law a “strong exemption for people and organizations of faith.” They request that the exemption should include language that would protect religious organizations and officials from being required to support or perform same-sex marriages, or being forced to host them in their buildings and that would protect small businesses from being forced to assist in promoting or celebrating same-sex marriages.

The letter bears striking resemblance to the organization’s involvement in California’s Proposition 8 debate, where church leaders asked for 30 members from each California congregation to donate 4 hours per week to the campaign. The Los Angeles Times estimates that Mormons accounted for roughly 43% ($8.4 million) of the money spent in the Prop 8 campaign.

Calls to the LDS public relations department for comment were not returned prior to press time. Q

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Q mmunity Annual Halloween screening of ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’

The Rails to Ogden

Tickets go on sale in October at Tower Theatre. Make sure to get your tickets a few weeks in advance. Seating is limited and is general admission, so you might want to be there an hour before the showing to avoid sitting apart from your loved ones. Dress up in Halloween costumes or a character from Rocky. Have fun, come out and enjoy the craziest night of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

WHEN: Oct. 31, 8 p.m. and midnight WHERE: Tower Theatre, 9th South and 9th East INFO: TowerTheatre.org

0uting. Sagers will take Front-

SAGE Utah will be traveling to Ogden for an October SAGE Runner to downtown Ogden to walk 25th Street and its numerous dining options. Those wishing to attend the “It Gets Better” performance by the LA Gay Men’s Choir, need to purchase tickets in advance, and be at Perry’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Utah by 7:15 p.m. performance.

Sagers will return to SLC’s Intermodal Hub, at 9:09 p.m. or the last train at 10:39 p.m.

WHEN: Friday, Oct. 11, 4 p.m.

WHERE: Intermodal Hub, 250 S 6th West INFO: utahpridecenter.org

Poinsettia sale benefits PWACU For the ninth consecutive year, the People with AIDS Coalition of Utah is holding it annual Poinsettia fundraiser.

These beautiful Red Poinsettias are in 6-inch pots, with five or more blooms per plant. They are 15–19” tall and 15” wide, and are locally grown to ensure freshness.

Poinsettias are to be preordered by Nov. 15, at $10 per plant or $75 for eight plants.

INFO: Call 801-484-2205 to order or go to pwacu.org

A chili affair to benefit Road Home Chili Affair is a communityoriented fundraising event that directly supports the emergency shelter, housing

and supportive services The Road Home provides. Local chefs prepare gourmet chili, complemented with an array of donated salads, breads and desserts. Live entertainment, opportunity drawings and a silent auction create a fun, interactive and family-friendly evening. Last year, over 1,200 supporters attended the event and helped them exceed their fundraising goal of helping individuals and families move out of shelters and into housing.

WHERE: Salt Palace Convention Center WHEN: Wednesday, Oct. 9, 5:30-9:30 p.m.

TICKETS: $42 per person or $300 for a table of 8 INFO: theroadhome.org/ events/chili-affair/

Fall Harvest Potluck & Dance Co-hosted by SAGE Utah & The Salt Lake Spicy Dinner Group

Saturday November 16, 2013 6:00-9:30PM

Chase Mill, Inside Tracy Aviary, at Liberty Park 589 East 1300 South

SAGE Utah will provide venue, setup, entertainment, dancing, utensils, & beverages. for additional info--contact charles@utahpridecenter.org

facebook.com/sageutah facebook.com/SaltLakeSpicyDinner

Potluck Items:

(by first letter of last name please bring) A-G--Desserts H-O--Side Dishes P-Z--Main Dishes

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

Moab proud of ‘small town Pride Festival’ In its third year, Moab Pride calls itself “the nation’s second-largest small town Pride Festival.”

“In these places, where everyone knows everyone, it can be hard to stand up for something you believe in — something that makes you different — but maybe it’s exactly these hometowns that have the best shot at pioneering a community-driven atmosphere of tolerance and understanding,” organizers said in a statement, This year’s event is expanded through the week of Sept.

22 to 28, beginning with a screening of “The New Black,” a documentary about how the African-American community is grappling with the gay rights issue in light of the recent gay marriage movement and the fight over civil rights. Hosted by the Moab International Film Festival, the screening takes place at 7 p.m. at Star Hall, 125 E. Center St., Moab.

The week progresses with a series of outdoor events, designed to raise funds for the festival, including Jeep tours, rafting, a hike and stand-up paddle boarding on the Colorado River. More information at gayadventureweek.com.

In Friday, Sept. 27, an Orange Party meet and greet will take place beginning at 8:30 p.m. at Frankie D’s Bar and Grill, 44 W. 200 N., Moab.

Similar to a white party, Moab Pride organizers chose orange as a nod to the spectacular scenery of the area. Organizaers invite you to “surround yourself with your own expression of orange.”

“We encourage all festival goers to combine orange and graffiti into the costumes for this annual event while hanging out, chatting and dancing the night away,” organizers said.

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A “Visibility March” begins at 9 a.m. Saturday, Sept. 28, at Swanny City Park. The mayor will be on-hand to welcome attendees. The one-hour march begins and ends at the park on a route that takes walkers, bikers, unicyclists, skaters and skateboarders through town.

At 11 a.m., the actual festival happens at Old City Park in Spanish Valley through dusk.

Vendors, music, a market and other entertainment will happen alongside a raffle, history panel and “Disk Golf Tournament.”

Wayne Besen, author, activist, columnist and public speaker, will also speak at the festival. He is the author of the book, “Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth,” which was nominated this year for two Lambda Literary Awards. He currently serves as the Executive Director of Truth Wins Out, an organization founded to combat the ‘ex-gay’ myth and right wing propaganda.

Finally, an after party will take place at Woody’s Tavern, 221 S Main St., Moab, with a drag show, DJ and divaDanielle from Los Angeles.

More info at MoabPride.org or their Facebook page.

Our tool box includes cooperative negotiation and aggressive advocacy, depending on what the situation calls for.

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FALL ARTS GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Salt Lake gay couple’s proposal flash mob video goes wildly viral A YouTube video of Salt Lake’s Spencer Stout proposing marriage to his partner Dustin Reeser, along with a flash mob and friends and family from across the country, went wildly viral, earning over 9 million views in less than a week.

As a flash mob danced to Betty Who’s “Somebody Loves You” in the aisles of the 21st South Home Depot, little girls in tutus did cartwheels, boys brought out iPads with photos, and moms and dads marched in with big smiles and goofy dance moves.

Stout said he chose Home Depot because it was kind of ther “first date.”

The event took place over Labor Day weekend. A Home Depot employee told the Los Angeles Times that “They had to clear out a whole aisle for the flash mob.”

Betty Who’s publicist took advantage of the viral video, encouraging larger gay bloggers to mention it. That all apparently paid off, as Who (real name: Jessica Newham) signed a U.S. label deal with RCA Records days after the video was posted.

She told Billboard that she and manager Ethan Schiff had been discussing a deal with RCA for “several months” before the video.

“I’ve had easily the craziest 72 hours of my life,” the singer told Billboard. She said she first watched the romantic video at her salon while getting her hair colored and burst into tears. “Somebody Loves You” and the rest of the four-song “Movement” EP was posted on Who’s website for free last April, but once they saw Stout’s viral clip, the singer and Schiff immediately decided to upload the full EP to iTunes. A deal with RCA was finalized soon after.

Stout said the couple had first heard the song in the Spring and he felt the lyrics spoke to his love for Reeser. That is when the idea for a flashmob proposal started.

Stout had Reeser’s roommate lure him to the home improvement store to help buy lighting for a friend’s party that night.

The friend then planted Reeser on a set of stairs used to reach higher shelves and the

music started playing and people in the couple’s lives began coming in.

“They come out, and they’re from all the different places I’ve lived in the world, so, to see them all in one place at one time, was kind of ridiculous,” Reeser told Fox 13 News. “I start to recognize people, and then I start to recognize more people, and I’m thinking in my head it’s a really nice graduation gift, but a little weird.”

Reeser didn’t realize this was a proposal mob until Stout walked in with a posterboard sign with some of the song lyrics, “If I am good to you, won’t you be good to me?” Stout, dressed in a suit and tie, then joined the dancers through the rest of the song, and brought Reeser off the platform to offer him a ring.

Comments on the video and the myriad of stories worldwide about it were largely positive and supportive. One heterosexual game developer wrote, “Great, now I’m crying at my desk AT WORK WATCHING TWO GAY DUDES KISS.” If a gay marriage proposal can make a straight man weep, perhaps marriage equality isn’t too far away for the states that don’t yet allow it.

The couple plans to marry in summer. Q

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OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

Quips & Quotes “The Employment Non-Discrimination Act has bipartisan support in Congress.

It’s time to put aside politics and extend basic workplace protections for LGBT Americans.”

—President Barack Obama on passing ENDA

“I can’t name names but my friend called who is a big oligarch over there, and asked me if I’d like to be an ambassador for the Olympics and open the show. I immediately said no. I want to know why all of this gay hate just exploded over there. He said the Russian people don’t feel the way the government does.”

—Cher, in an interview with Macleans

“The gay community has made an incredibly profound impact on the fashion industry, and without key creatives such as Marc Jacobs, Gianni Versace, Dolce & Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, to name a few, the art form would not be so vibrant … Gay culture and fashion go hand-in-hand in that they flourish in the light of making bold and brave statements.”

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

HOME DEPOT PROPOSAL GOES VIRAL

“ “

Great, now I’m crying at my desk AT WORK WATCHING TWO GAY DUDES KISS.”

things we heard from our readers last month

—Jeffrey Campbell

My husband and/or I are [at Home Depot] several times a week, especially when we were planning our wedding this last month. I understand why that very location was chosen.

I would have totally done that given the resources and talent.”

“ “ “

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

—Kevin Scott

OMG, Small Lake City!

I don’t know the couple, but I recognize so many people in this video. It’s just like a night at Jam, only with better dancing and less crying.!”

—Derek Snarr

It is these kind of proposals which argue against marriage equality.

Anyone old enough to remember to OC Tanner Great Engagements which used to break out at movie theaters?

“

—Craig Ogan

So sweet! I love Home Depot for supporting them to do this! Fabulous that their family was so involved and cute!

Definitely a multikleenex video.

—Martha Hales

IDAHO FALLS PASSES NON-DISCRIMINATION ORDINANCE

While I think it’s great that such an ordinance is being passed, I think it lacks teeth, particularly because of the paranoia inspired striking of the public accommodations provision and the 5 person or less business

exclusion. That effectively means trans people will continue to be discriminated against and treated as subhumans in the US. Shameful and disappointing. When is this country going to catch up to the rest of the civilized free world?

— Sarah Gee

QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor.

Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@ gaysaltlake.com.

We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorial In for a penny, in for a pound in New Mexico

BY MARILEE HARRISON

I stared

at the screen in shock.

Not that I wasn’t pleased — I couldn’t have been more pleased — but I could not believe marriage equality was becoming a reality in New Mexico so rapidly. Only two days before, the Doña Ana County clerk began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Now, the Santa Fe County clerk had been ordered by a judge to start issuing them or explain later in court why she would not. Collective breath was held. Then came word that she would start issuing the licenses to same-sex couples at 2 p.m.

Oh, my! I had read an El Paso Times article about Bob Diven, a humanist celebrant in Las Cruces, who just went to the courthouse and offered his services. I contacted Bob on Facebook, saying I stood ready to do the same when Santa Fe County followed suit. It was rather cavalier of me, it turns out, as I assumed I’d have time to get my ducks in a row.

I had just officiated my first wedding for some dear friends the week before and had taken care to craft the ceremony to match their wishes and personalities. Now they were going to start issuing licenses in no time at all, so there would be little time to prepare if I wanted to follow through on these lofty prior intentions.

There was no way to make it there by 2 p.m., but I put it into high gear and cranked out some business cards so folks would at least know who was marrying them. The last thing I threw in the car was my new white robe and multicolored stole with an abstract black ribbon pattern running its length. I hadn’t used it yet, and this would be the perfect occasion, providing the justification for buying it just was simply because I thought it was the most beautiful, colorful, silky thing.

At the last minute, I lost a bit of my nerve. Who was I kidding? No one had asked me to be there, and wouldn’t I just be barging in on people’s special day? I told myself I would just go and see. If

my services weren’t needed, I could leave quietly, no harm done. Confirming my extraneous position, I saw another person with vestments arrive ahead of me. See? Not needed. I almost turned around. But in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say. I went inside.

A group wedding with eight couples and two officiants was under way. The officiants were from a liberal religious tradition, and they gave a practiced, smooth ceremony.

OK. I was not needed. Feeling a little awkward with my robe and stole over my arm, I stood with observers, families, and friends while media covered the event. The room brimmed with emotion. Part of me was full to the brim too, with gratitude for the chance to be even on the fringe of the occasion.

Then came the prayer, and the admonitions to become part of a faith community for the sake of their relationships caught my attention. I became uneasy, with a familiar feeling I had as a volunteer for the Red Cross after September 11, when I heard a speaker reference religion to a diverse, grief-stricken group. One-size-fits-all assumptions of religious uniformity are an ill-fitting garment for those in sorrow or happiness. I saw what looked like discomfort for some, and mine grew into a resolve to provide a secular option for any others who wanted to marry that day.

When the ceremony ended, I let the county clerk know of my secular services as a humanist celebrant, and went to the line of those waiting for licenses. Pushing through my reticence, I let folks know there would be a secular option as well as a religious one, if they preferred. At first I was rather shy and apologetic, but the immediate, buoyant response was heartening.

Couples were able to choose what made them most comfortable. If I was the only option, that was OK too. Religion didn’t enter the conversation, but we all believed in love.

As we made happy plans for those getting a license, one woman waiting in line to submit a completed form said she wished she and her partner had known I was there. That was all I needed to hear. I stayed for the rest of the day, until the office closed late and the last of 15 marriages was registered.

Each couple was a unique delight, and though we moved quickly to complete the ceremonies before the end of the day, the couples included me as an honored guest

in their deep emotional expressions. I offered a choice between three sets of vows, which personalized the exchange between the partners. The business of obtaining the license gave way to moments of tears and smiles as they made commitments to one another. Little bumps in the process were overlooked, as their focus was on each other and the relief of legal completion in case the opposition shut the window of opportunity again.

It is simply beyond me how anyone could oppose the commitment of people who love each other. Perhaps this wouldn’t have an impact, but I wish they could experience the warmth and exuberance jam-packed into that room and that day. I wish they could see the couple that waited through 46 years of togetherness for the chance to marry. Who could say no while looking into their eyes, filled with tenderness? And why not laugh out loud when thanks comes with the qualification that “we knew you were the right person when we saw your purple shoes.” A few quiet moments with loving parents caring for a young child was perfection itself. The silk flowers borrowed from a restaurant for bouquets were precious. Every person was engaging, every moment consequential.

Oh, wait. I do understand, because I used to believe this kind of partnering was sinful — a bad choice. Until I met wonderful people in whose presence I could no longer hold those views. My questions, which I seemed to exit the womb mouthing, then became more about how an ethical person or a loving god could harbor such bigotry. Belief crumbled under the weight of discrepancies and observation.

Values and ethics rooted in the greater good of humans took its place. In other words, humanism. I am a humanist celebrant because I care about humans. Pretty simple.

Perhaps serving as a secular officiant is a chance for restitution, in a way. An apology for the way I used to judge, as I was raised to do by loving parents and a nurturing community. The same upbringing that propelled a brother into ministry where prayers are said in order to bring about impossible and unnecessary change, all the while claiming love, ultimately propelled me in a different direction. It’s about the possibility of providing options to those who have been denied the simple human dignity of partnering with the recognition and approval others take for granted.

Marilee Harrison is a humanist celebrant in Santa Fe, N.M.

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

the straight line

Suicide: A plague on our community

BY BOB HENLINE

Suicide

is a tragic event, one that leaves not just its mark on the immediate circle of the victim, but one that scars an entire community. While distinct and quantifiable evidence is sparse, numerous studies indicate that rates of suicide attempts and completions are substantially (up to four times) higher among LGBT youth and adults in America.

While we’ve recently seen an increase in the mental-health and support resources available UFM_Q_mag_ad_2013_v3_x1a.pdf to those contemplating suicide, we’ve also seen a significant

and staggering increase in the number of suicides in our community. Preliminary data obtained from the Utah Department of Health reveals that total suicides increased by over 10 percent from 2010 to 2013, with youth suicide increasing by over 30 percent.

For the period of Jan. 1 through June 30, 2010, there were 254 suicides, 34 of which were youth, ages 21 and under.

That same six months in 2013, there were 281 suicides, 44 of which were youth.

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their lives. Attempting to boil those reasons down to a few causes or to provide a simple explanation, in my opinion, fails to give the crisis we face the attention and thought it requires. One thing, however, is shockingly clear: we aren’t doing enough. As individuals, as a community, as a society, we aren’t doing enough to help these people.

The plague of suicide is complex and there is, as with determining cause, no simple solution.

One thing we can do, however, is to continue to increase awareness both of the crisis we face and the various resources available to those who struggle.

Another thing we can do as individuals is to show the people in our community that they are not alone. We can embrace diverse people, help them by showing them that they live in a community full of people who not only accept them for who they are, but who value them as individuals. The third, and probably most important, thing we can do is to engage.

We live in a dichotomous world, a world in which we’re more connected than ever before to news and information. But we’re also more disconnected than ever before.

We find it easier to sit behind a computer screen and type than we do to sit face-to-face and really connect with our friends and peers. This form of interaction makes it increasingly difficult to notice changes in our friends’ attitudes and demeanor. We need to be aware of the feelings of our friends and col-

leagues, be aware of warning signs and prepared to intervene when necessary. More often than not, that requires real personal interaction.

Let’s face reality, folks, our society isn’t the most accepting place. We live in a culture of intolerance where deviation from societal norms may be “tolerated” but it is not accepted nor encouraged. Our community, this community, can be much better than that.

In the short time that I’ve been involved with this community I’ve found support, respect and

The plague of suicide is complex and there is, as with determining cause, no simple solution.

love that I can’t begin to quantify. The amount of kindness, acceptance and support that exists among this community is astounding; and we can do so much with it.

As this community grows and we continue to reach out, we can show all people, not just LGBT or LGBT youth, that there is a community here that values them, that sees and loves who they are, and that they are welcome to be a part of that community. As we expand our embrace, we begin to reverse this horrible trend that is truly a plague upon our society. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

thinking out loud

My LGBT opinions aren’t so simple to come by lately

BY ABBY DEES

When the

deadline for this column loomed, I panicked. I have absolutely no clear opinions about anything this week, aside from my continued disgust about the status of LGBT civil rights around the world. Being disgusted by something, however, doesn’t immediately translate into having something interesting to say about it. Those leaders who are supporting everything from involuntary “corrective” therapy (Russia) to “corrective” rape (South Africa) for LGBT people need to be strung up by their toes. I don’t really have a middle ground to discuss. Moral people must take a stand, regardless of their opinions about – I dunno – same-sex marriage or teaching LGBT history to school kids.

Aside from such clear assaults on our humanity, I’m currently at a loss about what to think about the issues being discussed this week. Let’s start with the Sochi Olympics. Like I said, Russia is on my s$#t list and in some weird reverse aging process where they’re going all 1950s on LGBT rights. Now what do we do about the Winter games there? After I read British actor and writer Stephen Fry’s impassioned call for a change of venue to some place mellow, like Canada, I had to agree. The scape-goating and harassment of LGBT people in Russia right now looks eerily like the early treatment of Jews around the time of the 1936 Munich Olympics. Seemed clear to me that reasonable people couldn’t possibly support the Sochi Olympics.

But then Greg Louganis, the out Olympian diver, publically opposed such a move, or any boycott of the games, because, he argued, it would hurt the wrong people.

Going to the games as planned will give LGBT athletes an opportunity to show the world what LGBT strength and dignity looks like, and keep Putin from being able to act like a martyr for antiquated social policies in Russia. Oh well, that makes sense too. Hmm. I guess I’m against the boycott now.

Now let’s look at the ex-ex-gays – you know, the former Exodus leaders who have

publically apologized for the all the damage they’ve done trying to make people straight. Last month I wrote in this column that I forgave these guys, even though I could understand why other people wouldn’t be so willing to. After a week, the only comment I got accused me of blaming the victim. OK, I get it. Maybe it wasn’t up to me to forgive. After all, I’ve never been to gay conversion therapy. I don’t know what it’s like to have the whole Clockwork Orange number done on my sexual psyche.

I’m not quite willing to concede my right to forgive, but I can understand how this issue is more fraught than perhaps I originally suggested.

Let’s now move to pop culture – because our community certainly does love its high pop (and I will stand by this assertion no matter what anyone says). If you have broadband Internet, then you have by now binge-watched Orange is the New Black, a fabulous lez-poz spin on the old prison cliché. Not only is Orange clever, it deftly explores the myriad of human sexuality, with no one type of relationship being more healthy or “normal” than the other – of course, within the context that prison makes everything bizarre.

Here I was, appreciating our progress in this respect, thinking that GLAAD should be so happy about Orange, when this morning I read a compelling commentary on the invisibility of bisexual identity in the show. Never mind that the main character is fairly obviously bisexual, no one ever calls her that. I see the problem.

Damn, and I like the show so much.

Have I become wussy and uncertain in my opinions or has our community dialog become way more sophisticated? Back in the day, it seemed like we just pushed back. That’s not enough now. We have progressed to the point where we have choices. We have strategies to formulate.

Everyone has a potential media presence to consider. I’ll go out on a limb and say that it’s not me, things are more complicated now. Please cut me some slack and I promise I’ll keep trying to figure out what I think about it all. Q

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

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Creep of the Week: Pat Robertson

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

For decades

conservative Christian yapping head Pat Robertson has made a living by saying really crazy shit. He says it on TV, he writes it in books, he’s on the Internet. So this crazy shit gets a lot of attention. And the shit just gets weirder and weirder.

Take the time when he blamed 9/11 on “pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People For the American Way.” Or when he made fun of people who have plastic surgery saying they’ve “got the eyes like they’re Oriental” and then pulled his eyelids to either side and squinted.

Or when he asked if mac and cheese was a “black thing.” Or when he compared homosexuality to demon possession.

But the man was not content to stop there. He had not reached the apex of his insanity. And while some people said it couldn’t be done, the man may have finally maxed out his crazy card.

On the August 27 episode of The 700 Club, while discussing AIDS with cohost Terry Meeuwsen, Robertson said, “There are laws now, I think the homosexual community has put these draconian laws on the books that prohibit people from discussing this particular affliction, you can tell somebody they had a heart attack, you can tell that they’ve got high blood pressure, but you can’t tell anybody they’ve got AIDS,” he continued.

Huh? So homosexuals have made it illegal to talk about AIDS? It’s not clear from what he says if he means that gays have made it illegal to disclose your own status to people, or if he’s talking about the legality of disclosing someone else’s status. Either way, it isn’t true. There is not a gay mafia gag order on AIDS talk.

Robertson continues, and this is when shit gets real, “You know what they do in San Francisco, some in the gay community there they want to get people so if they got the stuff they’ll have a ring, you shake hands, and the ring’s got a little thing where

you cut your finger,” Robertson said.

Meeuwsen replies, “Really?” Which is probably the closest one can come to saying, “WTF?” on The 700 Club. She also is giving Robertson an out, a chance to say, “Just kidding, LOL! No one would possibly believe such a thing or say something so completely untrue and inflammatory on national TV!” But that’s not what he says. He says, “Really. It’s that kind of vicious stuff, which would be the equivalent of murder.”

If slicing AIDS handshakes were “You can tell a real thing, that would be somebody they shocking in had a heart attack, itself. But that you can tell that someone would say such a thing they’ve got high out loud and blood pressure, believe it is the but you can’t tell real shock here.

So I got to anybody they’ve thinking about got AIDS” how Robertson’s not afraid to say ignorant, offensive, racist shit and, considering the derision he receives, he’s not afraid to be laughed at.

And that’s when I realized the truth about Pat Robertson. He’s a stand-up comic on the down low. These aren’t just the ravings of a fringe lunatic, they’re bits.

All this time he’s been punking us.

Granted, he’s not very funny. But it doesn’t seem fair to hold him to the same quality standards as mainstream comics. I mean, that’s how it works with Christian rock.

But his secret is out. And the fact that no one in his audience gets the joke helps explain why he’s trying out more shocking material, like the AIDS ring bit. It’s sad to watch a comic bomb. And sadder still that Robertson doesn’t have people in his life who have the heart and the guts to tell him to get off the goddamn stage. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

a mom’s view A few months ago I was invited to attend the Gay Writes Community Writing Club sponsored by Salt Lake Community College. We meet the First and Third Monday’s at 6:30 p.m., SLCC Community Writing Center, 210 East and 400 South, Suite 8, Salt Lake City, UT 84111.

This group is open to the LGBT community and allies. There are poets, fiction and non-fiction writers; a lot of variety. Members get feedback and help on their writings; it has helped me a great deal with writing my articles. Please join us.

For the next few months, I will be highlighting some of the great talent in the group. I know you will enjoy the writings.

Leesa@LeesaMyers.com

Say ‘yes’ to dreams

BY CHRISTINE IRELAND

Have you

ever wondered what a strange, odd or just plain silly dream meant? I’ve had a few weird recurring dreams. Some I can only recall random pieces I woke up feeling of, others flow through both exhilarated my brain and sexually like a mental frustrated after movie (complete with having phone rolling credsex with Wonder its!) I woke up Woman. feeling both exhilarated and sexually frustrated after having phone sex with Wonder Woman. The face of a rotary dial phone literally appeared on my genitals.

She lovingly put her finger in each number’s designated hole and slowly turned.

Perhaps your dreams have been boring lately. If so, choose to expose yourself to new experiences throughout the day.

Dreaming allows our subconscious to process the day’s events. I work in a call center and watch superhero movies. New stimuli will make your dreams become exciting once again.

Regurgitating one’s subconscious on paper may seem tedious or even ridiculous, but many a midsummer night’s dream or winter’s tale have given birth to narration. Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote Kubla Khan immediately on waking from a dream. This poem is considered one of

the most famous examples of Romanticism in English poetry. A copy of its manuscript is a permanent exhibit at the British Museum in London. Dreams can inspire spectacular writing. C. S. Lewis said that the famous Narnia story, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, came to him from a single picture he received in a dream of a faun carrying an umbrella and parcels through a snowy wood. Mr. Tumnus is that faun.

Whether writing for pleasure or profit, your dream log could be a gateway to published imagination. Dreams can be recorded in a paper diary (as text, drawings, paintings, etc.) or via an audio recording device (as narrative, music or imitations of auditory experiences from the dream).

Many websites offer the ability to create a digital dream diary. The very act of recording a dream can have the effect of improving future dream recall. Keeping a dream diary conditions a person to view remembering dreams as important. Keep it daily to preserve details, many of which are otherwise rapidly forgotten no matter how memorable the dream originally seemed.

Oscar Wilde said, “They’ve promised that dreams can come true, but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too.”

Even those dreams that wake us up with our heart pounding and beads of sweat on our forehead can be used as a tool. Record or write down a description of a nightmare, then change that description in any way preferred, or describe a totally new desirable dream. Stephen King is driven to tell stories as a way of allaying his many fears. He has addressed several over the years, including clowns, in It. In an interview with UK reporter Stan Nicholls, King said: “Like the ideas for some of my other novels, that [the inspiration for Misery] came to me in a dream.” Q

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guest editorial

Gay siblings: a great success story

BY AMANDA STOUT

My brother

is one of my best friends. And I’d say we are one of the greatest success stories I can think of. Let me tell you why.

Anyone who meets me probably would categorize me as one the “Molliest of Mormons” they have met, or will ever meet, in their lives. I am the stereotype, it’s true. It doesn’t bother me. In fact, I’m proud of it.

A lot of you probably He is more important know my brother for a wildly and internationto me, and I am more ally popular video that’s important to him, than any been making the rounds political or social value in the last week. You all have categorized him as gay. He is the stereotype, too. It doesn’t bother him. And he’s also proud of it.

Homosexuality seems to have a polarizing effect. It seems like people have to either be super supportive or super against it. And here is where Spencer and I are such a success. Where I believe marriage is ordained of God and a covenant reserved to be made between a man and a woman, he doesn’t. Where he believes marriage is a right for two consenting adults, I don’t. And that’s OK. He doesn’t hate me because I disagree with something he fundamentally believes in. And vice versa. There is a huge chasm of disagreement between us on this issue, but he is more important to me, and I am more important to him, than any political or social value.

If you asked him, he would tell you that I am one of his greatest champions. And I am telling you right now that he is one of my greatest supporters. Though we don’t support what the other believes, we have one of the strongest relationships you will find between a brother and a sister. He knows my heart and I know his. He loves me and I love him. In all honesty, I think our relationship is an incredible example of what Christ meant when he said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” That’s what makes us such a success. We don’t let an issue stand between us. We aren’t just a Molly Mormon and a gay man. We are family. And we mean the world to each other. Q

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

wtf?!

NO WEDDING FOR BATWOMAN Batwoman writers J.H. Williams and W. Haden Blackman resigned in September, saying DC Comics forced them to cancel a gay marriage plot in which Batwoman married her girlfriend.

But DC Comics co-publisher Dan DiDio says the marriage plot wasn’t nixed for the reasons you might think. He said Batwoman couldn’t get married because “heroes shouldn’t have happy personal lives. They are committed to being that person and committed to defending others at the sacrifice of their own personal interests.” DiDio added, “Name one other publisher out there who stands behind their gay characters the way we do.”

TEXAS HOLD ‘EM The state of Texas will not allow the divorce of a gay couple who now live there, but married four years ago in Massachusetts. A lower court allowed the dissolution of the marriage, holding that Texas’ Proposition 2, which prohibited the court from recognizing a same-sex marriage, violated the due-process and equal-protection guarantees of the U.S. Constitution. A Texas appeals court reversed the decision, saying the state cannot recognize the divorce without recognizing the marriage. The state supreme court will hear the case in November.

‘SEX WITH ME WILL SET YOU FREE’ EX-PASTOR/RAPIST TO SERVE NO TIME The Council Bluffs, Iowa pastor who admitted to having sex with underage boys in an effort to help them “get rid of evil [gay] thoughts” will serve no time in prison, thanks to a judge who thought probation would better serve him. Charged with 60 counts of “suspicion of sexual exploitation by a counselor or therapist,” 31-year-old Brent Girouex was issued a 17-yearprison sentence for the rape of as many as eight underage boys in 2012, which was suspended to allow Girouex to seek “sexoffender treatment” and remain on probation for five years.

like

(SEMI-) NUDE WRESTLING AT THE OLYMPICS Sexy singlets worn by wrestlers are “old fashioned,” according to Nenad Lalovic, the president of wrestling’s international federation. The 2016 Olympic Games may well have shirtless wrestlers — one step closer to how wrestling was done in the Games’ beginning days. Actor Billy Baldwin, who was part of wrestling’s delegation, said he could see the change for entertainment value. “It’s why beach volleyball is on for 17 hours in prime time and we’re buried at three in the morning,” he said.

GYLLENHAAL CALLS GAY RUMORS A ‘HUGE COMPLIMENT’ In an appearance on Inside the Actor’s Studio, Jake Gyllenhaal discussed Heath Ledger and their roles in Brokeback Mountain.

“Heath and I knew each other for years before that because we had both auditioned for Moulin Rouge together,” Gyllenhaal tells host James Lipton. “And I remember thinking, ‘I like this guy. He’s just like, super lovable.” When the gay rumors started rolling in like tumbleweed across the plain, Gyllenhaal says he took it as a “huge compliment.” Losing Heath, however, was like “losing a family member” the 32-year-old actor said and he still misses Ledger ”to this day.”

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

who’s your daddy?

Punkd!

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

We have

this cat, Apollo, who is a living, breathing, killing machine. He’s like the Dexter Morgan of felines. The really disturbing realization is that as a domesticated house cat, he has 24/7 access to food. He’s not killing to survive, he’s slaughtering for sport.

And like all good kitties, who love their humans, Apollo shares his kills with us.

Somewhere along the way, the boys decided I was the remover of creepy creatures from our home. A moth flying around your room? Call Dad. A potato bug crawling along That’s when the wall? Call Dad. Some any vestige of googly-eyed, being butch hairy-ass spider vanished the size of a salad bowl - that I am pretty sure had a switch blade — casing the joint? Call Dad. So it makes perfect logical sense to call dear old Dad when the cat drags some half dead-sparrow, or completely dead mouse, into the house.

But it’s never a simple acknowledgement that there’s some dead, fur-bearing rodent in our home. The boys need to alert me in graphic detail, “Dad! Apollo killed another mouse. It’s over by the fussball table. He ate its head. Gross!”

I actually don’t mind being the HeMan, who removes icky things from our home. It makes me feel butch. Every kid needs a dad, who isn’t afraid of these sorts of situations - maybe especially kids with gay dads. Got a creepy-crawly in your kitchen? I’m no limp-wristed sissy. Call me! Nothing scares me.

Well, except for rats. I’m terrified of rats.

Once, when we lived in a Oakland, there was a dead roof rat by our garage.

I was so creeped out that my best friend had to pick it up with a shovel and toss it in the garbage can; all the while making fun of me.

The boys know about this musophobia, or rat-phobia, of mine, and they enjoy exploiting it.

Recently, they called me into the family room: Apollo had brought a mouse in the night before. Somehow it had escaped his clutches. Now it was hiding under the television stand. The boys and I got down flat on our stomachs trying to catch a glimpse of it, and hopefully catch it in a butterfly net. Not seeing anything, I stood up.

That’s when Niko said he saw it, describing it as kind of cute, with a great big, fat tail. I froze. I told him he was wrong; mice have cute little tails. Gus added they hadn’t wanted to say anything before, but they were pretty sure it was really a baby rat.

I stepped back, abandoning all paternal instincts, as the boys remained prostrate, eye-level with the evil creature. Suddenly, Gus yelled, “Here it comes! It is a rat.”

That’s when any vestige of being butch vanished. I screamed like a little girl and jumped backward, in a single leap, into an armchair.

Out from under the television stand tore the sweetest-looking little mouse you’ve ever seen. The boys looked at me on the chair and squealed with laughter.

They had punked me. They had punked me good.

In the end, I was able to capture the mouse, and release it to the canal across the street.

That act of bravery has been forgotten.

The boys only remember my less than valiant response to coming face-to-feet with a perceived rat. They think it’s hysterical.

Hopefully, they find it funny because it was so out of character for me. After all, they know they can rely on me to save them from all sorts of horrible creatures.

Did I mention the spider with a switchblade? Q

Friday evenings 4–8pm at Sugar House Park through October 11

Join us in our new home at the Fabian Lakeside Pavilion in Sugar House Park for another great season of locally-grown produce, artisan food, and amazing crafts. Come see what the Su Sugar House community has to offer!

More info at sugarhousefarmersmarket.com SPONSORS:

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

queer shift

Time Shift: Is it just a wedding?

This past

BY JERRY BUIE

weekend, I had the opportunity to perform a wedding ceremony for two young men in their young 30s who decided to formally commit to each other in a wedding ceremony. They held their “wedding ceremony” in Utah for family, friends, co-workers and community, including their LDS ward members; and then they traveled to New York to legally seal their commitment. Today the IRS says they will enjoy the same tax privileges as other legally married people regardless of where they live. I was humbled by this change that is becoming more and more common.

Prior to the ceremony I was meditating and preparing myself to officiate their ceremony. Eighteen years ago, when we were at this same age, my partner and I decided to formalize our relationship and moved in with each other. This was the symbol available to us at the time. If you recall, wedding announcements of same-sex couples were a national controversy.

Much has changed in our political and moral climates since that time. When we got together and decided to create our family, my partner decided to formally come out to his family by inviting me to Christmas festivities after discussing with his family he was gay. We wondered if our co-workers and employers would judge us differently knowing we were gay? How would we protect our shared assets? How do wills and trusts work? My partner and I are pretty strong personalities and not easily intimidated by judgments of others, but

at some level we needed to consider some of these questions. As a therapist I watched relationships crumble under the stress of societal judgments and limitations, as there was considerable misunderstanding and homophobia.

As I was meditating on this upcoming ceremony, it had occurred to me that these were questions that my newlyweds had much broader answers to than many of us had 20 years ago. They invited their family, their friends and co-workers. I was surprised when many people from their home LDS ward showed up -- even a bishop. What a reflection of the times, the audience at this ceremony was incredibly diverse, and in showing up anointed their relationship with a blessing of support.

Perhaps struggling to understand, but putting the differences aside, they showed up.

Yes, some people in the audience were uncomfortable, and unsure, but they showed up to support these two in their vows and commitments. Would this have happened 20 years ago? 10 years ago?

It occurred to me, as I approach 50 years old, that these two young men were riding on the wings of those of us who participated in our younger years in speaking out, marching, boycotting and insisting on being counted. Each of us who came out of the closet in the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, and in the new millennium, made a political statement, even if that was not our intention. Those legally marrying today are doing so because we dared to be!

As I counseled these “marriage pio-

neers,” I shared with them my personal walk as a queer man through the 80s to today. I shared what I could about how they fit into the continuum and history of their own civil rights history. Their eyes opened wide with disbelief as we talked about the HIV/AIDS epidemic wiping out a generation of our elders. I shared how deafening the closet was to many of us. As I was speaking to them I realized how the closet in many young lives are becoming relics (thanks to those who dared to be).

Kids are coming out at 12 and 13 years old, unheard of in my formative years.

What I recognized in preparing for this wedding is these young men are looking to our generation and seeking to understand their history. My partner and I are their “Elders,” whether we want that title or not, we are the only ones qualified, as we lived this history firsthand.

So, there I was, standing before the congregation, joining these two men together as husbands, asking the Creator’s blessings to walk with them, guide them and keep them on a good life course. How ironic that I was joining them together at the same age in my life when I thought this day would never happen.

Twenty years ago we wondered if a day like this would come. Thanks to the efforts of our ancestry, for the pioneers/ history makers who are with us today, we are in fact arriving. Yes, there is much to be done, the journey will continue without us, but will we leave it in good hands?

The younger people of our culture must understand our history, must understand where we came from so they may be able to set the projection forward in a positive affirmative manner for their protégés. I encourage you to reach out to those who are not of your generation, be their friends, mentors, their elders and companions in the journey forward.

Mod a-go-go specializes in original art from new and emerging local artists.

Their works are paired with mid-century modern furniture from the 1950’s and 60’s, or with an original pi piece from a local furniture maker.

242 E. South Temple, SLC UT www.modagogo.com

Gallery Strolls on the 3rd Friday of every month

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

Genderevolution 2013: Community Building Community November 16th, 10AM to 5PM Rowland Hall - 843 Lincoln Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84102

Genderevolution (TransAction's Annual Gender Conference) is the pinnacle event of a month full of trans-awareness events throughout the trans* and larger community. This year's theme is Community Building Community.

Genderevolution 2013: Providers’ Summit November 15th, 5:30PM to 9PM

The first annual Genderevolution Healthcare Provider Summit aims to bridge the gap between the healthcare and transgender communities. Through this one of a kind event, we hope to educate future and current healthcare professionals on the various aspects of treating transgender patients. The evening will include an address from our keynote speakers and breakout sessions tailored for providers, mental health professionals, and students. Each respective session will be set up as a roundtable discussion to promote alluring conversation center about transgender healthcare. Our goal for this event is to remove the stigmas attached with treating transgender patients by creating culturally competent healthcare providers.

More information and Registration online:

UtahPrideCenter.org

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY HISTORY MONTH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

lambda lore

October is Gay History Month

BY BEN WILLIAMS

October

is National Gay History Month. Knowing our history gives us a sense of purpose, a measurement of how far we have come, a meaningful identity as a people, and a sense of belonging to a movement larger than ourselves. Every Gay person should know certain basic historical events such as the Stonewall Uprising, Coming Out Day, National Organization for Women, and people such as Anita Bryant, Barbara Gittings, Christine Jorgensen, Del Martin, Frank Kameny, Harry Hay, Harvey Milk, Jose Sarria, Leonard Matlovich and Phyllis Lyon. It is truly sad if you don’t ... but it’s not too late.

Of all these great gay pioneers, probably the least known and the most significant to the Gay civil rights movement is Frank Kameny. So important is his place in gay history that on July 3, 2012, a minor planet was named “Frankkameny” in his honor by the International Astronomical Union and the Minor Planet Center.

Kameny was born in New York City in 1925. He served in the Army throughout World War II in Europe and after leaving the Army, graduated with a baccalaureate in physics in 1948. He then enrolled at Harvard University and graduated with both a master’s degree in 1949 and doctorate in astronomy in 1956.

Kameny was hired in July 1957 by the United States Army Map Service. However, in the fall, he was arrested following a late night run-in with police in Lafayette Park, a traditional cruising area along Pennsylvania Avenue across from the White House.

Kameny was questioned by his superiors in the Civil Service and, because he refused to give them information regarding his sexual orientation, he was fired.

In January 1958, he learned he was barred from future employment with the federal government due to President Eisenhower’s 1953 Executive Order 10450 which banned employment of homosexuals in the federal government. Kameny appealed his firing through the judicial

system, losing twice before heading to the United States Supreme Court, which turned down his petition. From that day forward, Kameny never held a paid job again. Instead, he devoted himself to gay activism, supported by friends and family.

The toll that activism took on Kameny was that he “never had any long-term relationships with other men, stating merely that he had no time for them.”

In August 1961, Kameny and Jack Nichols co-founded the Mattachine Society of Washington, an organization that fought aggressively for gay civil rights. The Society was a gay-rights organization that had been founded in 1951 by Harry Hay and others in Los Angeles, but by the 1960s had chapters across the nation.

In 1963, Kameny launched a campaign to overturn Washington, D.C.’s sodomy laws and personally drafted a bill that was finally passed in 1993, 30 years later.

He spent much of his time with the Washington Mattachine Society fighting for fair and equal treatment of gay employees in the federal government. He fought against security clearance denials, employment restrictions and unfair dismissals, and for equality for all gay citizens.

Kameny and Nichols planned and launched some of the earliest public protests by homosexuals — most notably the famous picket line at the White House on April 17, 1965. Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin of the Daughters of Bilitis, along with the New York’s Mattachine Society, joined the Kameny and his group in the picket and later expanded targets of their protests to the United Nations, the Pentagon, the United States Civil Service Commission and to Philadelphia’s Independence Hall for what became known as the Annual Reminder for Gay Rights.

In 1968, a year before the Stonewall Uprising, Kameny was inspired by Stokely Carmichael’s phrase, “Black is Beautiful” which countered low esteem among African Americans. He felt much of gay people’s problems were also rooted in low

self esteem and he created the slogan “Gay is Good” for the Gay civil rights movement.

Post Stonewall, Kameny became the first openly gay candidate for the United States Congress when he ran in the District of Columbia’s first election for a nonvoting Congressional delegate in 1971. He lost, but following that election, he created the Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Washington, D.C., an organization which lobbied and pressed the case for equal rights for four decades.

He also worked to remove the classification of homosexuality as a mental disorder from the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Kameny described that on Dec. 15, 1973, when the APA removed homosexuality from its manual of mental disorders, “we were cured en masse by the psychiatrists.”

In 1975, he initiated a challenge to the military’s ban on homosexuals and found Mormon Leonard Matlovich, a technical sergeant in the United States Air Force with 11 years of unblemished service and a Purple Heart and Bronze Star. Matlovich met with Kameny and his lawyers and purposely outed himself to his command“Woohoo! I’m ing officer on going to celebrate March 6, 1975.

In October, by ‘sodomizing’ 1975, Matlovich my brains out!” was formally discharged, but was later reinstated by a federal district court in 1980.

Matlovich instead accepted a financial settlement and continued his gay activism work until his death from AIDS in June 1988. Kameny was an honorary pallbearer at his funeral and spoke at graveside services in Washington D.C.’s Congressional Cemetery.

On March 26, 1977, Kameny and a dozen other members of the gay community, under the leadership of the then-National Gay Rights Task Force, made history again by meeting with public liaison Midge Costanza in the Carter White House on much-needed changes in federal laws and policies. This was the first time that gay rights were officially discussed at the White House. Kameny was appointed as the first openly gay member of the District of Columbia’s Human Rights Commission in the 1970s.

Still fighting injustice 30 years later, in

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

2007, Frank Kameny wrote a letter in defense of Senator Larry Craig of Idaho regarding Craig’s arrest for solicitation of sex in a Minneapolis airport bathroom. He wrote “I am no admirer of Larry Craig and hold out no brief for him. He is a self-deluding hypocritical homophobic bigot. But fair is fair. He committed no crime in Minneapolis and should not suffer as if he did.”

On June 29, 2009, John Berry, director of the Office of Personnel Management, formally apologized to Frank Kameny on behalf of the United States government for his being fired from the Civil Service. Berry presented Kameny with the Theodore Roosevelt Award, the department’s most prestigious award. Also

Kameny, as his status as a Gay veteran activist, was seated at the front row of the gathering where President Barack Obama signed the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Repeal Act of 2010.

Kameny suffered from heart disease in his last years, but maintained a full schedule of public appearances, his last being a speech to a gay group in Washington D.C. on Sept. 30, 2011. He was found dead in his Washington D.C. home on Oct. 11, 2011, National Coming Out Day. Q If you are interested in learning more about gay history especially local Utah gay history check out the Utah Stonewall Historical Society on Facebook or read blogs posted on “My Gay Musings” at benwilliamswritings.blogspot.com or “Utah Stonewall Historical Society’s Archives: This Day in Gay Utah History” at benwilliamsblogger.blogspot.com.

Utah Stonewall Historical Society Read about Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender history as written by Utah’s Gay historian, Ben Williams at

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

National Coming

O

Day Brunch

Gotta Be Real, Equality Sunday, October 13, 2013 Sheraton Salt Lake City 150 W 500 S Individual Tickets - $35 Table - $350 10:00AM - Registration & Social Hour 11:00AM - Brunch Speakers: Paul Burke & Brett Tolman Utah Pride’s Amicus Brief Attorneys

benwilliamswritings. blogspot.com Add check daily for ‘This day in gay Utah history” at

benwilliamsblogger. blogspot.com

Purchase Tickets At: UtahPrideCenter.org

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY HISTORY MONTH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

history

Celebrate Gay History Month through October on our site October is LGBT History Month, and the Equality Forum has selected 31 icons to spotlight during the month. Here are brief description of some of these icons that each day through October will be featured at gaysaltlake.com.

of three Tony Awards. He also received three Pulizter Prizes during his career. He moved to Greenwich Village in 1949 and lived an openly gay life, weaving homosexuality and relationships throughout his lifetime of work.

ZACKIE ACHMAT

(February 24, 1985 - October 3, 2002) Gwen was a transgender teen whose brutal murder in 2002 cast a spotlight on the issue of violence against transgender people in America.

Born Edward Araujo, Jr. in the San Francisco Bay area, Gwen underwent hormone therapy in high school. She left school due to ridicule and bullying.

(b. March 21, 1962) Zackie Achmat is a Nobel Prize nominee and recipient of the Desmond Tutu Leadership Award and Nelson Mandela Award for Health and Human Rights for his work as an activist in South Africa. His work is focused upon people living with HIV/ AIDS, the gay community, and fighting apartheid.

EDWARD ALBEE (b. March 12, 1928) Playwright Edward Albee made his Broadway debut with “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,” the play that earned him his first

GWEN ARAUJO

REINALDO ARENAS (July 16, 1943 - December 7, 1990) Reinaldo Arenas, born into poverty in the Cuban countryside, carved his first poems into tree trunks. His work focused on political and social injustice.

He joined Fidel Castro’s revolution in 1961. In 1967, the year after his novel “Hallucinations” received an Honorable Mention award, he was persecuted by the Castro regime for his openly gay lifestyle.

He was imprisoned in 1974 and released in 1976, after which he fled to the United States.

AXEL AXGIL (April 3, 1915 - October 29, 2011) Axgil was a Danish activist and cofounder of Europe’s first gay rights organization, Forbundet af 48 (F-48) in 1948.

Axgil and his partner, Eigil Eskildsen, also founded Vennen (The Friend), a gay magazine. Axgil was arrested in 1955 for distributing nude male photos through his publishing company. Following his release from prison, Axgil founded the International Homosexual World Organization (IHWO).

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

Historic love letter makes its way to the president’s desk Oftentimes,

history can be used to challenge the staus quo of today. In a letter to President Obama, former United States Army Specialist 4th Class Aubrey Sarvis passed on a letter written by a World War II soldier to another service member. He implored the president to read it and pritoritize the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

The letter was published in September 1961 by ONE Magazine – an early gay magazine based out of Los Angeles.

Dear Dave, This is in memory of an anniversary - the anniversary of October 27th, 1943, when I first heard you singing in North Africa. That song brings memories of the happiest times I’ve ever known.

Memories of a GI show troop - curtains made from barrage balloons - spotlights made from cocoa cans - rehearsals that ran late into the evenings - and a handsome boy with a wonderful tenor voice. Opening night at a theatre in Canastel - perhaps a bit too much muscatel, and someone who understood.

Exciting days playing in the beautiful and stately Municipal Opera House in Oran - a misunderstanding - an understanding in the wings just before opening chorus.

Drinks at “Coq d’or” - dinner at the “Auberge” - a ring and promise given. The show 1st Armoured - muscatel, scotch, wine - someone who had to be carried from the truck and put to bed in his tent. A night of pouring rain and two very soaked GIs beneath a solitary tree on an African plain.

A borrowed French convertible - a warm sulphur spring, the cool Mediterranean, and a picnic of “rations” and hot cokes. Two lieutenants who were smart enough to know the score, but not smart enough to realize that we wanted to be alone. A screwball piano player - competition - miserable days and lonely nights. The cold, windy night we crawled through the window of a GI theatre and fell asleep on a cot backstage, locked in each other’s arms - the shock when we awoke and realized that miraculously we hadn’t been discovered.

A fast drive to a cliff above the sea - pictures taken, and a stop amid the purple grapes and cool leaves of a vineyard.

The happiness when told we were going home - and the misery when we learned that we would not be going together. Fond goodbyes on a secluded beach beneath the star-studded velvet of an African night, and the tears that would not be stopped as I stood atop the sea-wall and watched your convoy disappear over the horizon.

We vowed we’d be together again “back home,” but fate knew better - you never got there. And so, Dave, I hope that where ever you are these memories are as precious to you as they are to me.

Goodnight, sleep well my love.

Brian Keith

LAGOON DAY! | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

Thanksgiving Potluck Dinner Who: Everyone!

Date: Thursday, November 28th Time: 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM Location: Utah Pride, 255 E 400 S Utah Pride will provide the Main Dish (turkey, ham, tofurkey) and beverages. Bring a potluck dish to share and join us for good food, games, and friends. Even if you can’t bring a dish, we want you here!

Potluck Items by Last Name: Appetizers: A - G Salads & Side Dishes: H - M Desserts: N - Z Vegan & Vegetarian items also needed!

For More information email: megan@utahpridecenter.org

Hosted By:

UtahPrideCenter.org

SAVE

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FALL ARTS GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

ANNOUNCING

Qmart

SAVE UP TO 50% OR MORE! ON SPAS DINING EVENTS NIGHTLIFE RETAIL QMART.GAYSALTLAKE.COM

Q is everywhere online: GaySaltlake.com facebook.com/qsaltlake Twitter @ QSaltLake Youtube.com/qsaltlake Flickr.com/QSaltLake LinkedIn.com/QSaltLake Google+ klout.com/#/QSaltLake

Trans* artist featured in UMFA’s ‘salt 8’ Shigeyuki Kihara, born in 1975 in Samoa, is the featured artist of the new salt 8 exhibit at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts.

The Kihara exhibit features two distinct versions of the Samoan taualuga, or “last dance,” which is traditionally the culmination of Samoan social functions. The two works, Siva in Motion and Galu Afi, are video works in which the artist’s character is featured dancing alone in darkness wearing a traditional Victorian mourning dress. Kihara performs a taualuga-inspired dance, but at a dramatically slow pace, in the absence of sound, and without an audience. She is bathed in warm light, but her dress and face recede into the shadows.

The silent videos, combined with the mourning dress and the somber tone, highlight the tragedy of the 2009

tsunami that rocked Samoan with devastating effect. They also put this tragedy into the context of Samoa’s history, which is rife with storms and earthquakes. Kihara makes a powerful statement about the devastating impact of social assimilation and climate change in these powerful performance pieces.

Kihara is also known for her 2005 work, Fa’a fafine; In a Manner of a Woman piece. This triptych highlights Kihara’s identity as fa’a fafine, or third gender in Samoan culture. salt 8 is the eighth installment of the Utah Museum of Fine Arts’ ongoing series of semi-annual exhibitions showcasing the work of emerging artists throughout the world.

The exhibit aims to reflect the international impact of contemporary art today. Q

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

FALL ARTS GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

On view through January 5, 2014

salt 8: Shigeyuki Kihara FREE PUBLIC PROGRAMMING Artist performs Taualuga: The Last Dance Wednesday, October 23 | 6 pm Artist and curator in conversation Thursday, October 24 | 4:30 pm MARCIA AND JOHN PRICE MUSEUM BUILDING 410 Campus Center Drive Salt Lake City, UT 84112-0350

wsuculturalaffairs.org

University of Utah Office of Undergraduate Studies

Ulugali‘i Samoa: Samoan Couple, 2005, c-print. Courtesy Shigeyuki Kihara Studio and Milford Galleries Dunedin, New Zealand.

University of Utah Office of Diversity and Inclusion

The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles

October 11, 3013 7:30pm Peery’s Egyptian Theater 2415 Washington Blvd. $10 Tickets: 801-626-8500 or weberstatetickets.com

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FALL ARTS GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Plan-B brings a #SeasonOfEric

BY JERRY RAPIER

I have

had two of the most rewarding experiences of my creative life directing plays by Eric Samuelsen for Plan-B Theatre Company — Amerigo (2010) and Borderlands (2011).

Eric writes with an enviable ease about big ideas — he can be Truthful with a capital T and Intellectual with a capital I, yet still guide his audience to a soulful place, a place of passion, a place where a true marriage of truth and intellect is possible – a place where you have no choice but to take pause, reexamine and choose how best to move forward. He has an uncanny ability to identify the gaps in the recorded history of historical figures and address the “What if?” without resorting to straightforward biography. Simply put, he makes the historical personal.

So when it came time to select the 2013/14 season, I did what I had been considering for quite some time – I invited Eric to be a resident playwright. And then I did something else I had been considering for quite some time – I asked if Plan-B could stage an entire season of his work. I wanted to celebrate his range as a playwright and let some of that been-under-a-bushel-far-toolong work see the light of day. From there, I asked him, of the dozen or so plays and ideas he has in various stages of completion, what mattered most to him. Together, we settled on Nothing Personal, Radio Hour Episode 8: Fairyana, Clearing Bombs and 3. And the season of Eric was born.

NOTHING PERSONAL OCT. 24-NOV. 3

Beginning with the persecution and imprisonment of Susan McDougal, jailed for contempt of court for her principled refusal to lie before Kenneth Starr’s grand jury, Nothing Personal explores the loss of civil liberties and the violations of human rights that have since disfigured our culture and politics. Fanaticism and principle, false ideals and genuine integrity, prison, torture and the tug of freedom … it’s nothing personal.

RADIO HOUR EPISODE 8: FAIRYANA DEC. 3

Also broadcast live on KUER’s RadioWest.

A comedy about the writers for the popular children’s television program The Magical Land of Fairyana. The writers are seasoned professionals, which is to say alcoholic, misanthropic, hypochondriacal, obsessed with death and prone to violence. And kept in PHOTO: ADAM FINKLE

line by the Mob. A radio show about happy, frolicking bunnies and froggies and the hardened cynics who write them.

CLEARING BOMBS FEB. 20-MARCH 2

In the summer of 1942, economists Friedrich Hayek and John Maynard Keynes spent a night on the roof of King’s College Chapel in Cambridge, waiting to clear away and control German incendiary bombs. In Clearing Bombs, they’re joined by a fire warden, Mr. Bowles. A play about economics amid mortal danger, about defining the future they could only begin to imagine.

3

MARCH 27-APRIL 6

Three short plays about Mormon women confronting their own culture. In Bar and Kell, two women help a single mother and confront their own motives. In Community Standard, a woman serving on the jury of an indecency trial is forced to confront issues in her own marriage. And in Duets, a woman confronts the choices she has made by marrying a gay man.

The season also includes the return of our celebration of the First Amendment, And the Banned Played On, hosted by X96’s Kerry, Bill and Gina (May 3).

Season Extras The Soldier’s Tale by Igor Stravinsky, a parable about a soldier who trades his fiddle to the devil for a book that predicts the future of the economy, presented in partnership with NOVA Chamber Music Series (Sept. 29).

Different=Amazing by Matthew Ivan Bennett, drawn from real-life bullying experiences of elementary students. Inspired by the 2010 event of the same name. (Salt Lake and Davis County elementary school tour: Feb. 24-March 14; one free public performance, Feb. 22).

ERIC(A) by Matthew Ivan Bennett, the story of Eric, a trans man, and how he fell for a woman for a first time, play’s Ogden’s Good Company Theatre (Nov. 12-13) before heading to the United Solo Theatre Festival in New York and Theatre Out in Santa Ana, Calif.

Information on the #SeasonOfEric and all Season Extras at planbtheatre.org Jerry Rapier has been Producing Director of Plan-B Theatre Company since 2000. He and his husband Kirt Bateman, who were the first gay couple from Utah married in New York, are the proud parents of a 10-month-old son.

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october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

OCT. 2 HEY MARSEILLES The State Room

OCT. 3 CITIZEN COPE Park City Live BEATS ANTIQUE United Concerts The Depot SOUND TRACK OF OUR LIVES Orchestra of Southern Utah Cedar City Heritage Theater

OCT. 4 SOL Kilby Court MUSEUM AND MUSIC Nora Eccles Harrison Museum of Art, Logan TRIGGERS AND SLIPS PLUS UNSTRUNG Intm. Acoustic Music Assn South Valley Unitarian US TECH N9NE The Great Saltair

IT GETS BETTER FEATURING THE GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES WSU Cultural Affairs Peery’s Egyptian Theater, Ogden HIEROGLYPHICS The Depot LEON RUSSELL Egyptian Theatre - Park City

OCT. 12

OCT. 13

OCT. 17

PHANTOGRAM The Depot

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OCT. 15 SARGENT HOUSE TOUR Kilby Court JUNIP The State Room

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TWIN FORKS In The Venue SPIRIT FAMILY REUNION AND HURRAY FOR THE RIFF RAFF The State Room

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RECEPTION OCT 4: 6-9 PM ARTIST Q&A OCT 4: 7 PM

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Art thrives at the Sugar House Art Walk

Before

the “Sugar Hole” the area of Highland Drive and 21st South was a vibrant, hipster neighborhood with art studios, galleries and open mike nights. It was one area of Salt Lake that you could walk around at 10 p.m. and find life.

Once the buildings were torn down, many of the artists stayed in the area, but scattered to other buildings. The economy killed the development planned for the area and the lot sat vacant for years.

But as the economy has grown, new life has been breathed into the area. The oncevacant Granite Furniture building is now a successful restaurant. The “hole” is now a construction zone with a six-story building taking shape. A streetcar is soon to connect Trax to the area.

But in the midst of the neighborhood’s darker and dustier time, one business owner saw potential in bringing people from around the area to Sugar House at least one night a week to remind them of the artists and hipsters still there.

James Adelman, owner of The Joint chiropractic clinics in Sugar House and Cottonwood Heights, was inspired both by his

The Pelicants, playing at The Expressive Bungalow during the Sugar House Art Walk

uncle, who started the Scottsdale, Arizona art walk 38 years ago, and by his teenage son, Nicholas, who is an artist. Adelman realized that Sugar House was a prime place for an art walk. Now, the art walk is a year old, occuring the second Friday of each month except for December and January, with as many as 18 venues involved.

Why did you decide to start an art walk in Sugar House? It really all started with me walking around, seeing different art venues—mainly studios, not galleries, and thinking, “This would be a great place to do an art walk.” I got involved originally to get a few venues involved in displaying Sugar House artists, ranging from high school artists to professional artists that frequent them. Since then, it’s kinda taken

a life of its own.

How did the art walk grow? There’s a core group of venues that are consistently open and help with the marketing, which is like herding cats when it comes to getting artists together. We’ve met every month, typically at Sprague Library. They allow us to have live music out on the patio.

We’ve invited lots of young musicians from MusicGarage.org. We’ve had a lot of studios stay open and actually have live art going on. It’s like a living, moving thing. Sugar House is a pretty artsy-fartsy neighborhood to start with, in little patches, and to cohesively get people together to show up and stay open, it’s taken a lot of work, but it’s been awesome. We made something in a year that’s been really fun to watch.

801.363.7522 | www.saltlakeactingcompany.org | 168 w 500 n, SLC 84103

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october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

What makes the Sugar House art walk different? The number 1 thing that coins the Sugar House art walk is that it’s actually walkable. You can walk from one end of the map to the other in 15 minutes. We’re branding Sugar House as a destination. When the streetcar ends here in about a year or so, people will be able to come in from the south valley, the west valley, downtown, and take the streetcar right to Sugar House and see what we’re doing.

Also, you don’t have to be a gallery to be a part of it. We’ve had local condo developers, new pilates studios, a new orthopedic company, coffeeshops … We’ve had potters that show their work; we have a watch-repair company that does live repairs on old clocks and watches. We really promote that people change it up so it’s not stale or boring—if you go to the same studios and see the same thing every time, a lot of people don’t come back.

How have the community and venue owners responded? The owner of Unhinged, a really cool clothing store, turned part of his store into a gallery and has continued to do that because he’s been so successful with people showing up. There’s a local pottery company called Adjusting Sails Dirtwork. I had to convince the owner to stay open on a Friday night. The first art walk in 2011, I think he had 40 or 50 people who’d never been there before, and people ended up coming back and enrolling in his classes.

What should we expect through Fall? We will continue the SHAW through November, taking December and January off due to the weather. The theme for the Fall Season will be “Cornucopia of Art.” Q The next art walk will take place Nov. 9, from 6 to 9 p.m. Visit SugarHouseArtWalk. com for more information.

Hive Theatre Company brings ‘zomedy’ in ‘Steadman & Walker (Zombie LLC)’ Amidst economic turmoil and a crippling recession, the death of the American Dream becomes a haunting reality for the flood of bright-eyed college graduates scrambling to find jobs and looking to build a better future. The only glimmer of hope for the frightened masses is a highly successful life insurance firm, Steadman & Walker. In fact, they happen to be the only company in town doing any business at all.

But as the wave of new-hires begin their first day on the job, they soon learn that death is big business…and business is good.

The Hive Theatre Company is bringing the world premiere of the Zombie Comedy (that they call Zomedy), Steadman & Walker (Zombie LLC) by Jared

Greathouse. The show, for mature audiences, will play on Fridays and Saturdays Oct. 11–19 at Sugar Space, 616 East Wilmington Ave (2190 South) Patrons who come to the play dressed as Zombies will be entered into a drawing for the grand prize, with a winner every night.

“Our initial approach to Steadman & Walker was a fairly simple one: We wanted to create a true theatrical collaboration, yet still manage to maintain the integrity of the script as a whole,” said Greathouse.

“After some careful thought, we decided to bring on three different directors — one for each Act — and also enlisted the zombie expertise of Bobby Cody as Zombie Wrangler, the talents of some of Salt Lake’s most formidable actors, and a

crack team of local make up artists.”

Steadman said it was a priority of The Hive to allow artists involved to have their own artistic voice, and to make sure that voice can be heard.

“We’d like to think this production is the closest we’ve come to that goal,” he said.

“Words cannot express how proud we are to be a part of this meeting of so many incredibly talented minds; an experiment in democracy, where we have all come together to form a more perfect union. We have all made a choice to stand united, and with a little hard work and perseverance, we’ve found there’s nothing we can’t accomplish. We’re all in this together.” Q Tickets on sale now at TheHiveTheatre.blogspot.com

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FALL ARTS GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

interview

OH JOE

Joseph Gordon-Levitt talks Don Jon sex, ‘proud’ gay kiss and the harm in thinking he’s the ‘perfect man’

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Who doesn’t

see Joseph GordonLevitt as the “perfect man”? The one man who knows him best: Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

And neither should you, he says.

After playing a gay hustler in Mysterious Skin, a Mormon homophobe in Latter Days and Batman’s cool sidekick in The Dark Knight Rises, the actor takes on a porn-obsessed womanizer in his latest film Don Jon, a sex comedy he wrote, directed and stars in that contends there’s more to a person than meets the eye.

Surely, plenty of Gordon-Levitt meets the eye in Don Jon: that chest, those arms and all the near nakedness of the New Jersey lothario he plays. Yeah, it’s easy to see why people might think he’s pretty perfect.

In our interview, Gordon-Levitt discusses the dangers of believing he’s the ideal mate, contributing to the gay rights movement and what he’s really doing during those masturbation scenes in Don Jon.

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october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

Let’s talk about this intense, seductive look on your face during those masturbation scenes. What were you actually thinking about? And were you really watching porn? Nah, I wasn’t really looking at porn. But I was pretending I was looking at porn.

I’ve never pretended to watch porn. (Laughs) I have now!

There’s a bit of sex in the movie — and you’re always the one having it. How do you direct yourself in a sex scene? See, the sex scenes — with one exception — are very, very highly stylized and they’re not so much scenes that play out in real time; they’re more like narrated storybook versions of a look inside the mind of this guy, and so shooting them is like putting together a puzzle. They’re made of lots of little pieces. When you put the puzzle together it seems like a sex scene, but when you’re shooting it, it’s not like that at all.

This is a movie that has sex at its core, and we see plenty of boobs but never any Joseph Gordon-Levitt bits. Was it a conscious decision for you to avoid being completely naked? Yeah, because that would just be distracting. It’s really not the point of the movie. This is not a movie of brutal realism; it’s a comedy and it’s a story.

It’s sort of a parable, so there would really be no reason to have any nudity. The only nudity that’s in the movie are these clips from real pornography videos, but they’re all very edited and cropped and they’re all very quick and sort of sanitized to fit into a Hollywood movie, if you want to call this movie a Hollywood movie. It’s sort of an atypical one, but it’s a movie about mainstream culture, so I wanted it to become part of mainstream culture. I always intended it to be that way. I think, in that way, it’s self-referential and it wouldn’t be as strong or effective or as complete a film if it were outside of those Hollywood filmmaking traditions.

How much did you want to get away with in this movie, and how much did you actually get away with? What’s in the movie is exactly what I wanted it to be. I wrote it exactly that way. I don’t think it’s all that sexually explicit; there are some very modified and stylized clips from pornography videos because that’s a central symbol in the movie, but there aren’t really any realistic sex scenes. It’s not a movie that’s about shocking you with anything graphic.

This film demonstrates what you’ve discussed in the past: that the media — the films we watch, the music we listen to, and so on — can really screw with our minds. When choosing films, do you think about how much influence you have on the people who watch them? I do, yeah. It’s always a balance between trying to keep an eye on my own selffulfillment so that I’m always doing what’s inspiring to me, but also thinking about what this will mean to people who see it.

I know for me, the movies and TV shows that I watch, and the songs or the books or the articles, are a big part of how I make sense of the world. I feel fortunate to be a part of that cultural conversation. And I try to be something positive.

The way in which media affects romantic relationships is also explored in another film of yours, (500) Days of Summer, in which you embody more of the traditional female archetype. What parallels do you see between that film and Don Jon? Yeah, there’s definitely a real parallel between (500) Days of Summer and Don Jon in that both male protagonists are quite selfish at the beginning of the story. Both of them in their own ways are very much objectifying the opposite sex. With Jon, his ideas of what women are supposed to be, or what love or sex are supposed to be, are sort of preset, and he’s not paying attention to the actual people in front of him.

Then, they’re similar also in that they’re both coming-of-age stories, and by the end you see them both beginning to break out of their old ways and grow up a bit.

You seem like the complete opposite of a meathead, so how did you get in the mind and body of Don Jon? Yeah, I worked out a ton. And I ate a ton of chicken! You know, I think we all know guys like that, and we all have some of Jon and some of Barbara (his love interest in Don Jon, played

by Scarlett Johansson) within us. I know that I have some of both. They’re both at extreme ends of the spectrum of cultural norms: what a man is supposed to be and what a woman is supposed to be. But I think we all have that tendency in a way.

It’s easier to just oversimplify ourselves and our identities and our lives, and especially our loves lives. It’s very seductive to think that it just ought to be simple — and in real life, it’s not.

You use the word “faggot” at one point in the film, and even though it feels appropriate to the character, was there ever a

discussion or any hesitation to use a word that many in the gay community find offensive? Like you said, that character would say that at that point. It’s at a moment when he’s sort of feeling threatened.

His buddy just said that there was a hotter girl at the club than his girl, and so in that moment of insecurity he uses that word.

I think that’s usually where that sort of hateful language comes from: out of people’s insecurity.

When it comes to directing, what did you learn from Gregg Araki on Mysterious Skin that you fell back on during the filming of Don Jon? I remember working with Gregg and being very struck by the fact that he could watch the movie in his head while we were making it. It allowed him to be very decisive and specific because he knew how the whole movie was gonna cut together already, whereas oftentimes films are made and you just shoot lots of angles and cut it together later. With Don Jon, we took more of the approach that’s closer to what Gregg did. I already had in mind how I wanted the thing to be cut together while we were shooting. Another filmmaker who is like that is Rian Johnson (Looper). Another one is Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight Rises). These are the guys who are thinking that far ahead. Gregg really stood out in that regard.

You first really reached a gay audience with Mysterious Skin. How aware are you of having a gay following? I don’t spend much time distinguishing people into categories like that, so to be honest, I can’t say it’s really something I think about any more than I think about, “Oh, how many black people are watching my movies?” and “How many Catholics are watching my movies?” I don’t really think about it in that way.

If you were gay, you might realize how many gay people adore you. Well, that’s very nice to hear! I’m glad to hear it.

With Don Jon and your new beefy body, are you prepared for the extra attention you might get from the gay community? (Laughs) I hadn’t thought of it. My body’s not like that anymore. I was working out every day to play that character, but bodybuilding isn’t really my thing. I’ve lost most of the weight.

How do you reflect on your kiss with Topher Grace during a 1998 episode of That ’70s Show — the first gay kiss on North American primetime TV? Yeah, proud moment!

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

When you look back on that moment, how far do you think we’ve come since that landmark kiss? I was actually just talking about this with a good friend of mine who’s gay. We were saying there really has been a change.

I mean, that was more than 10 years ago that we shot that episode, and a lot has changed. I do think that television and movies have played a big part in it. It’s certainly not solely responsible, but that has been a part of it becoming a more normal and accepted part of our culture — that some people are gay and that’s just how it is, especially for people who are not used to that or close-minded toward that. There’s been a pretty big change, and we’re certainly not all the way open-minded — I mean, there was a civil rights movement in the ’60s and there’s still plenty of racism in the world — but we’ve come a long way. I certainly am proud to have made that small contribution of whatever kind to that progress.

BuzzFeed recently named off 42 things that prove you’re the perfect man. Included on that list: the forearms, your chic style, that you look great in women’s underwear. Even the 3rd Rock from the Sun pigtails got a mention. (Laughs) That’s exactly the kind of oversimplified fantasy shit that I’m making fun of in Don Jon. So you don’t like being the “perfect man,” then? To be honest, I understand it’s all in good fun and that’s fine, of course. We all have our media that we consume that we can admit is not the most healthy or positive, and sometimes I eat French fries and sometimes I’ll smoke cigarettes. We all do things that we know are bad for us. But I think it’s worth pointing out that stuff like that, it’s not harmless, especially if you consume a lot of that kind of media.

I think it does seep into your brain and into your identity and will absolutely interfere in your ability to be happy — and that’s exactly what Don Jon is about.

It’s a young man who watches too much pornography and a young woman who watches too many romantic Hollywood movies, and neither one of them can be satisfied in their relationship because they’re too busy comparing real life to these simplistic fantasies that they’ve seen on screen.

Real life is so much more beautiful and rich and nuanced than those oversimplified fantasies, but you won’t feel that beauty if you’re too busy comparing it to the 42 reasons why your favorite actor is the perfect man. There’s no such thing as a perfect man. Every human being is a unique person.

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There’s been talk of you starring in a remake of Guys and Dolls with Channing Tatum. Should we expect to see you in it? It’s one possibility. Chan and I really like the idea of doing a musical together, and we’re working on making that happen. We don’t know exactly how it will happen or what it’ll be or how long it’ll take, but we’re determined to do it.

I must say that every gay man also likes that idea. (Laughs) I’ll keep that in mind! Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

hear me out

Ariana Grande, Janelle Monáe

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

ARIANA GRANDE, YOURS TRULY Hold up, people. Ariana Grande, even with all the belts and coos and high notes, is not the new Mariah Carey. As good as the onetime child actress can be — and she has many earth-shattering, stratospherical vocal triumphs on her debut — she’s her own singer, and she’s not yet reached Carey-at-the-height-of-hercareer caliber. Not that she doesn’t come close on Yours Truly (just listen to the last bit of “Baby I,” where she goes for M.C.’s signature whistle note), especially when she breaks from the trends to deliver — with the help of ’90s-diva guru Babyface — a throwback to a classier, twerk-less time in music. “Tattooed Heart” swoops with the doo-wop sound of the early ’60s; it’s a lovely listen as its finger snaps and piano line reach a steady rhythm, so it’s easy to overlook the silly title and the track’s altogether nauseating mawkishness. The better ballad, “Almost is Never Enough” with The Wanted’s Nathan Sykes, goes subtler and turns in a sophisticated, handsomely produced sound that’s a definite highlight. What’s surprising — and pleasantly so — is that those are the only outright slow tempos. “Piano” is a buoyant delight that dances on air, “Right There” falls back to ’90s hip-hop and then, for the last song, the unnecessary “Better Left Unsaid,” it’s to the club with a slow-building bounce.

Yours Truly, an exciting, very respectable debut that almost gets everything right, will give Ariana the platform and cred to make her next release the pop knockout this one so desperately wants to be.

Grade: B

JANELLE MONÁE, THE ELECTRIC LADY Janelle Monáe is a consummate singer, rapper, performer, dancer, suit-wearer and … actress?

She is if you’ve been following her idiosyncratic mythology of an alter-ego android named Cindi Mayweather, who’s basically a badass standing for the liberation of the “others,” much like Monáe herself. The third chapter in this ambitious sci-fi saga is a prequel to her other two outings, 2010’s The ArchAndroid and its predecessor, the Metropolis EP. This time, though, themes previously addressed — individuality, equality, self-empowerment and freedom from oppression — rise to the surface in Monáe’s musical vision to unify through song. It’s also the gayest of the three, with an interlude insisting that “robot love is queer,” an allusion to lesbian “undercover love” on “Givin Em What They Love” with Prince, and a crush on a girl in tights during the funky drag-anthem “Q.U.E.E.N.,” a morphing swag song featuring Erykah Badu and a fierce rap outro. Though far less psychedelic than on ArchAndroid, Monáe doesn’t forsake art for commercial appeal even as she vends her Afro-futuristic queerness — and opens up her sound — to the world.

Slicking up the sonic palette with shades of straight-up R&B power-ballad adornment (“Primetime”), “oooh-oooh” girl-group melodies (“Electric Lady”) and retro-inspired synths (“What an Experience”), there’s still an air of cool hovering atop Monáe’s pompadour that tells you — with a thrilling, multifaceted and intellectual approach to performance — this android is the real deal.

Grade: AChris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service, and chris-azzopardi.com.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

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Intimidated by wine? Start drinking.

BY DAVID WHITE

Intimidated

by wine?

You’re not

alone.

Consider the prototypical wine connoisseur -- swirling his glass, sniffing his wine, and blabbering on about some French chateau. He’s insufferable.

Or consider a representative tasting note. Wine Spectator recently praised a wine for offering notes of “creamy boysenberry, plum skin and cassis . . . [along with] hints of mesquite and grilled herbs.”

They’re bewildering.

Add to that the number of wine regions, grape varieties, and production methods that oenophiles can easily rattle off, and it’s no wonder why so many people find wine so daunting.

Keep your chin up. Wine might be complex, but at the end of the day, it’s just fermented grape juice. And the best way to learn about wine is to drink it.

For budding wine enthusiasts, the importance of tasting is impossible to overstate. Even simple questions, like your go-to varietal on a normal weeknight, are impossible to answer until you’ve tasted hundreds of different wines.

If you prefer white wine, do you seek ones that are crisp and light, like Sauvignon Blanc from Sancerre? Or do you prefer whites that are buttery and ripe, like California Chardonnay? If you prefer red, do you seek out big, muscular wines, like Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon? Or the more restrained profile of Pinot Noir from Burgundy?

Tasting can be as simple as visiting the local wine shop or attending a food and wine festival. Getting together with friends and asking each person to bring something different is another way to taste several wines at once.

One of my favorite tastings is a bit more formal. I select four varietals -- generally Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Syrah -- and open two bottles of each, one from California and one from France.

The stereotype tells us that American wines are fruitier than their French counterparts. While one can find wines that

debunk this stereotype, it’s based in truth.

So I purposefully seek out wines that fit the stereotype. And I serve everything blind, pouring the wines from paper bags to mask where they’re from.

Recognizing the differences should be obvious, even to novices.

The aromatics of California Sauvignon Blanc are intense, typically reminiscent of fresh-cut grass and grapefruit. French Sauvignon Blanc, especially from Sancerre and Pouilly Fumé, presents more subtle aromatics, like chalk and white flowers.

Chardonnay provides a similar contrast. While California Chardonnays are characterized by tropical fruits and butter, French Chardonnays are marked by tart fruits, like green apples and lime.

When Pinot Noir comes from warmer regions of California, like Napa Valley and Carneros, it presents aromatics of sweet fruits, like black cherries. In the French region of Burgundy, Pinot Noir generally offers aromas of tart cherries and earth.

Syrah can offer a stunning contrast.

Many California winemakers utilize the grape to produce fruit bombs -- think gobs of ripe blackberries and licorice. French Syrah is typically more restrained, marked by blueberries, meat, and pepper.

Looking for differences between similar wines is extremely educational. And when the paper bag comes off each bottle, it’s exciting to see whether or not you correctly deduced the origin of each.

Most showdowns have a winner. But with wine, neither France nor the United States makes “better” wine. My preferences shift all the time.

This is just one model for a tasting, of course. One can just as easily host a “wine on a budget” party, selecting several bottles under $10. It’s also fun to explore one grape, in depth. Pinot Noir, for example, is particularly expressive -- so it’s fun to explore the differences between classic bottlings from Napa, Sonoma, Oregon, and Burgundy.

Once wine becomes a passion, those baffling tasting notes make sense. Hard-topronounce regions across Europe become easier to remember. Those flaws that sommeliers can spot become obvious. But only if you’ve tasted enough wine. So start drinking. Q David White is the founder and editor of Terroirist.com, which was named “Best Overall Wine Blog” at the 2013 Wine Blog Awards. His columns are housed at Palate Press: The Online Wine Magazine.

FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

Welcome the NEW!

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

mr. manners Shy Guy

HALLOWEEN BUS Saturday

OCT 19 Noon–9pm

Free buffet Big Gay Bingo Prizes

Tickets at: BIGGAYFUNBUS.COM or 801-649-6663 x3 or at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

Dear Mr. Manners, I have been finding it really hard to get to talk to people or have them talk to me at a bar. I know that a bar isn’t the best place to meet dating material, but I look at it as a good way to socialize and meet interesting people. My problem is that I am very shy, and I don’t have the courage to walk up to another man and start the conversation. Like I said, I like going out, but I have never met anyone that way. I don’t know if I am just unapproachable or I just look like an uninteresting person and others just don’t want to talk to me. How can a person boost up his confidence and be more social? Is there a way?

Thank you, Shy Guy

DEAR SHY GUY, On my desk at home sits a card that reads, “There are good things that we pursue and the ones that just float our way.” A bar is a place to meet new people, but like all things in life it takes initiative. If you are spending all of your time waiting for someone else to start the conversation, then you are being set up for disappointment. Approaching someone is about the balance of allowing good things to come and knowing when to pursue.

Being shy is difficult, but like a bumper sticker I once read, “Well behaved people, rarely make history.” You are looking for a man to date — and that’s all about making history! In this case you may have to step out of your comfort zone. Lucille Ball said, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

This is the first step. Once you know who you are, courage and confidence will come forth and help you in approaching others.

Everything in life requires practice, so don’t expect your first time reaching out to go perfectly. Continue to be true to who you are, and in time you will know your personal approach. As for finding the “dating material, “ it’s up to you to find the place that has the caliber of person you desire. Just remember, if you are looking to marry a Prince you have to go to the ball. And trust me, not all balls are created equal! Q

Pride HAS

MANY

V ICES TUES, OCT 8, 2013 TWO SPIRIT PANEL 10:45 - 11:45 AM Hinckley Institute Panelists will discuss trans-identity in diverse ethnic communities.

Perspectives from the Pacific Islander, Native American, Chican@, Asian American and African American will be represented.

THURS, OCT 10, 2013 PRIDE WEEK SAFE ZONE 8:30 - 11:30 AM A. Ray Olpin Student Union Den Open to everyone!

WED, OCT 9, 2013 “SAVAGE LOVE LIVE” Q&A 6:00 PM A. Ray Olpin Student Union Ballroom Dan Savage is a renowned writer, TV personality and activist best known for his political and social commentary. Tickets are available in the A. Ray Olpin Student Union Information Desk ($10, students may receive 2 free).

FRI, OCT 11, 2013 GAY-LA 6:00 - 10:00 PM Jewish Community Center

To purchase a table or seat, call 801-587-7973 or email bblanchard@sa.utah.edu.

SPONSORS

ASUU Student Affairs Equity and Diversity Student Equity and Diversity Olpin Student Union Center for Student Wellness Gender Studies Department College of Social Work Dean of Students Marriott Library LGBT Resource Center University Guest House Daily Utah Chronicle

This event may contain language that is unsuitable for younger audiences.

All events (except the Gay-La) are located on the University of Utah campus.

The University of Utah LGBT RC seeks to provide equal access to its programs, services, events and activities for people with disabilities.

Reasonable prior notice is needed to arrange accommodations. Evidence of practices not consistent with these policies should be reported to the University’s ADA/Section 504 Coordinator: Director, Office of Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action, 201 S. Presidents Cr., Rm 135, Salt Lake City, UT. 84112. (801)581-8365 (V/TDD).

For more information, contact the

LGBT Resource Center 801-587-7973 • lgbt.utah.edu

Office for

STUDENT AFFAIRS

EQUITY AND DIVERSITY

THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH

THE UNIVERSITY OF UTAH

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER:

Who said “It’s time to put aside politics and extend basic workplace protections for LGBT Americans.”

MARACA KABOB

______ _____

cryptogram A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED

BY CS. THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: L = M

Theme: What time is it?

WR’V RWOE RH YXR TVWZE YHCWRWFV TKZ EJREKZ GTVWF QHBUYCTFE YBHREFRWHKV DHB CPGR TOEBWFTKV. __’_ ___ __ ___ _____ ________ ___ ______ _____ _________ ___________ ___ ____ _________.

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 54

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Q doku

Level: Easy Easy

6

3 5 8 8 6 4 3 9 5 7

1

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

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2 7

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2

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4 1

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3 7

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BY SAM MILLS

7

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q scopes

6 9

3

2 9 1 3 5 8 6 1 9 3 3 5

ARIES March 20–April 19 Fun and festive activities are bound to pop up this month.

Your heart is set on having a good time but avoid being reckless or there could be trouble. A playful friend is full of surprised. Keep smiling and don’t let anyone sour your spirits..

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Creepy and crawly things are something you are not accustom to. Even so, you’ll find much enjoyment in odd sensations this month. An unexpected surprise regarding a co-worker can give you heartache. Don’t give in to upsetting thoughts and enjoy getting your hands dirty.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Many people will be strangely attracted to your charisma.

Enjoy the attention but don’t lose yourself in it. There are obligations that can’t be ignored but your energizing spirit will drive you to uphold them. A job will be delightfully challenging, with a huge pay-off.

CANCER June 21–July 22 Knowing when to walk away will be your biggest challenge this month. There are good things in your life, but you have some pestering friends or family that should consider distancing yourself from. External forces may provide you some much needed relief.

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LEO July 23–August 22 Your level of ambition will be very high. A clear agenda of what you’d like to complete will come to light. Don’t delay in completing what you really want to do. You have a way of engaging in gaining new interests before following old projects to their conclusion.

Avoid getting upset over dilemmas you can’t control.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 problem at home or work may require drastic measures on your part. Fight if you much, but stay fair. Don’t worry about getting a little dirty – there will be plenty of time to clean up afterward. A good friend will reward you for doing the right thing.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 strong force will pull you out of your comfort zone. Don’t resist and never be afraid of the unknown. The tendency to blame yourself for another person’s misstep may arise but don’t do it. Stay true to your core beliefs and let them guide you back to the places you like best SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Design a way of keeping yourself occupied during a potentially dull time. Open your minds to new pleasures and don’t be afraid to laugh and outrageous things. A suitor or friend may come to call at a time when you may not want company.

However, you’ll have a great time if you let your guard down.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22– December 20.

Have a little fun this month with friends and family. They are always willing to dish out a good time, but you may to provide them an invitation. Be open with communicating your desires. Parties and trips are your best bet for having others tag along.

CAPRICORN Dec. 21– Jan. 19 The more you try following just one path, the harder it will be to keep up. Do things you enjoy this month and keep other interests in motion to avoid boredom. You will find a lot of enjoyment in physical activity. Don’t lose yourself in an obsession or in an overbearing individual.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 You may find yourself in a tight place that is hard to get out of. There are many traps to fall into this month. Be aware of the challenges that come with an associate. You have a dreamers spirit and the mind of a realist. Use them both to find success.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Your senses will be in overdrive this month as you plan for special events. You will encounter small moments in big gatherings if you seek them out. A boss or authority figure will single you out for a tasks. It will be up to you whether you wish to provide services. Q

CROSSWORD | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

october, 2013 | issue 223

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23 It picks people up who eventually get off 27 QB feats 29 Home of the Bruins 31 Problem for skin 33 Gay-dog owner of South Park 34 Object to 35 “Get ___ the Church on Time” 36 By mouth 38 Russian commune 39 Bannon of ‘50s lesbian pulp fiction 40 Bloom of The Producers 43 ___ Speedwagon 44 Hard woody one 46 Busy activity 47 Tell a tall tale 50 The Wizard of Oz dropout Buddy 52 No-tell motel meeting 54 Aleph follower 55 Nemesis of Tinkerbell 56 Banjoist Scruggs 57 Wilde country 58 One side of Ed Wood 59 Party in a fairy tale threesome 60 Elton’s john 61 One, to Frida 64 Ho’s instrument 65 Be social ANSWERS ON PAGE 62

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50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MUSIC

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Krissy Krissy at Kilby Court

BY MICHELE KHORDOC.

Praised

as being a powerful vocal house, Krissy Krissy has embarked on a Fall Tour with Hunter Valentine (The Real L Word) and Girl in A Coma on a 20 plus-date adventure across the U.S. and Canada.

She’ll perform at Kilby Court in Salt Lake City on September 24.

The talented Brooklyn soul singer has been making tremendous strides in a very short period of time. From garnering a quarter million views in just two days for her debut single “Dreams,” (from her acclaimed debut extended play “Above All”), to a top record on I Heart Radio, to an MTV Buzzworthy Feature, to a #1 spot on MTVU “Freshman Pick of The Week, Krissy Krissy undoubtedly continues to break new ground.

Krissy Krissy has been channeling her authentically soulful roots ever since she was born Krislyn Rivera in the heart of working-class Bushwick. After being kicked out of her Pentecostal Church when she was just 15 for kissing a girl (and liking it) she took off on her own musical adventure, eventually being discovered in a local karaoke bar.

When she released her first single “Dream” last year on her debut album Above All, the bright bold singer-songwriter began capturing the attention of industry heavyweights like Funkmaster Flex and Vashtie, who called her “a rising star.”

While the 24-year-old has been channeling (sometimes) tumultuous life lessons into songs about love, overcoming jealousy and finding peace with grief, she has certainly risen “Above All”!

Is Krissy Krissy your real name or an alias? What is the meaning behind it? It is my alias. I am the fifth born out of six kids, so there was definitely a lot of yelling in that little 2-bedroom Brooklyn apartment. So when my parents would call my name, I would really not answer quickly because there would be one of my other siblings close by to help or do whatever it was that my parents were beaconing for. But, when my parents would yell my name twice “KRISSY KRISSY,” I knew it was something serious so I had to answer. It was sneaky but it saved me from doing a lot of dishes! Even now I still listen for the second Krissy.

What was it like to grow up in a Pentecostal church? It wasn’t my cup of tea!! At a young age, I related being Pentecostal with only wearing skirts or dresses. I really hated it. I’m not a girly girl AT ALL!!!

So to be forced to wear clothes

like that all the time was a struggle for me. My parents ultimately realized that it’s not the way they wanted to raise us. They said God love us how we are and that pants were included!! Lol. Their realization was freedom for me.

At 15 you were caught kissing a girl and were kicked out of church. Was that your official coming out? Ohhh boy!! Lol. Yeah, I was caught “Katy Perrying” a girl. That wasn’t my “official coming out,” it was just a BIG reality check to me and my family that I could be what they all suspected me to be. I had to go to counseling and all that nonsense to see if they can pray the gay away. But my family and all those close to me knew what the deal was and started the process of acceptance and showing love to me.

With the recent Supreme Court historic rulings ending DOMA and Prop 8, do you think you would still be kicked out of church had that

incident happen today? See, I got kicked out the church because I contradicted everything they believe in. I wasn’t just a member of the congregation, I was the lead singer, dancer, mime group, adult choir leader, youth choir leader, worship leader, a soloist in ensembles, a side singer, a vocal arranger, a traveling singer with the head pastors. I was very visible.

To have someone who was in everything and the face of everything be gay and lead others in a way where that is “ok” was a shit load of wrong in their eyes. So sitting me down from all that would be too obvious to the church. Having it seem that I just left would be easier to explain to the church than fessing up to telling everyone that they didn’t know what to do.

Openly identifying as a lesbian, how do you impose the image of an artist who does not solely identify as “queer ” but transcends gender/sexual classification. Honestly, it doesn’t really make a difference to me. I don’t hide who I am. But at the same time, I don’t say, “hi, I’m Krissy and I’m gay”.

That’s not me. I would want the world to fall in love with me and not my nationality or sexual orientation. JUST ME! I want to be defined as just that.

I can’t speak for others.

How important do you think it is to be out as musicians?

Do you get a lot of fans telling you how much it means for you to be out? Good question..I don’t really care if al whether the music should be heard or not. As for me, I am who I am and I conduct myself that way! I am an equal, and for the most part, I have been accepted as such. My life is about MY norm and what comes natural to ME, and when people want to know, then they can ask.... if it really matters that much.

Can you tell us anything about what’s next in store for Krissy Krissy? I will be releasing my full-length album soon! I just want to continue grinding and climb my way to the top. Q The full interview is on our web site, gaysaltlake.com. For info on the Kilby Court show, go to kilbycourt.com. Krissy Krissy’s web site is krissykrissy.com.

october, 2013 | issue 223 | gaysaltlake.com

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SCENE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

Comedian Fortune Feimster coming to Salt Lake Oct. 5 Lesbian comedian Fortune Feimster, who made her national television debut on NBC’s Last Comic Standing and is now a fulltime writer and performer on the E! Network’s popular Chelsea Lately show, is coming to Salt Lake City this month.

Feimster, the loveable Southern comic with great hair and an even better personality, moved to Los Angeles in 2003 to pursue comedy after graduating Summa Cum Laude from Peace College in North Carolina. But first she made a pit stop in Sevilla, Spain for a year where she taught English, studied Spanish, and backpacked all over Western Europe. Even in a place where people spoke a different language, Fortune was able to tap into the universal gift of laughter.

Upon arriving to L.A., Fortune became a columnist for Beck/ Smith Hollywood and wrote for

such outlets as the Creators Syndicate, netscape.com, and the NY Daily News. Having studied acting in college, she decided to take an improv class for fun, but soon a budding comedian was born!

In her spare time, Fortune travels the country doing standup, but can often be seen at the Hollywood Improv and the World Famous Comedy Store where she is a paid regular. She also happens to be a highly accomplished sketch comedian and improv artist and is a member of the prestigious Groundlings Sunday Company, which boasts such alumni as Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig, and Lisa Kudrow. While Fortune has already made tremendous strides in a short period of time, there’s no doubt this is only the beginning of what’s to come!

Tickets to the October 5 show at JAM are available at jamslc.com/fortune

july, 2013 | issue 220

SEX | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 223 | october, 2013

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of bobbing for boobs

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to a carnival at Club Try-Angles is fraught with danger and excitement.

My heaving breasticles were all a-flutter with excitement when I found out the Matrons of Mayhem were going to be a part of the carnival at Try-Angles to raise funds for Moab Pride.

My role in the festivities was to conduct a few games of bingo. I was especially excited because it would be the perfect opportunity to try some new glitter-glue makeup, advertised to have enough holding power to grasp and raise the Titanic.

In the past I’ve had this horrible problem with my glitter mustache peeling off my face, leaving me as if I have a raging case of leprosy, or at the very least, a severe sunburn that was beginning to peel. I grabbed my bingo party foul air horn, donned my highest hair and best rainbowstriped caftan, and headed to town.

I arrived at 3 p.m., to set up shop. I was astonished to see that Gene and his magnificent staff had magically transformed the parking lot into a festive carnival.

What better atmosphere for a gravityenhanced fashionista from the Cretaceous era to strut her sensible shoes.

Before things got going, it suddenly became “A Dark And Stormy Afternoon,” when a sudden thunderstorm blew in from the west. I feared for my life as the wind whipped my high profile beehive hair so strongly I feared my neck might snap. I was also frightened that my underwire might function as a lightning rod. The last

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Anagram: BARACK OBAMA

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PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

thing I needed was to be the recipient of a lightning strike. I have given my friends standing orders, that if for any reason they should need to call the paramedics for me, to please remove my breasticles before the ambulance arrives. Not so much to clear the way for the paramedics to work on me, but more to save the breasticles from being damaged.

Later, when the weather cleared and the danger of a house falling on me had passed, we had a lot of fun playing bingo.

There were several egregious party fouls committed during the games. It was determined that the party fouler who collected the least amount of donations, would be thrown into the carnival dunk tank as punishment. Damn if David Wilheitner didn’t call a foul on us Matrons. Despite our best efforts, we indeed gathered the least tips, thereby sentencing one of us ... me to the dunk machine. I sensed a conspiracy ... or worse, that I’m much farther down the social totem pole than I thought.

I was led to the dunk tank in the fashion of Marie Antoinette to the guillotine. For some unexplained reason, I suddenly had a great urge to eat cake. It was very difficult to negotiate the ladder into the machine while wearing my caftan and breasticles without exposing a full moon to the audience. With great care, I positioned my bodus rotundus upon the miniscule seat above the water. The audience began to throw balls at the trigger mechanism. I was positive that I would melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. I was mildly surprised when our stage Cryptogram: IT’S TIME TO PUT ASIDE POLITICS AND manager, Bongo, The EXTEND BASIC WORKPLACE PROTECTIONS FOR Urban Jungle Boy, LGBT AMERICANS. gleefully joined in as a ball thrower. My surprise turned into very deep sense of betrayal, when Bongo, after missing the target with his balls, cheated and pressed the lever with his hand.

Suddenly, many

things happened at once. Swish, boom, plop, the seat disappeared from under my derriere and down I went. My caftan rose above my head. My patootie plunged to the very bottom of the tank. My left boob fell off and started to sink into the depths.

With startlingly fast reflexes honed by participating in too many “fight to the death” sequin clearance sales, I was able to retrieve the bobbing boob and hand it to an attendant. Miracle of miracles, my new glitter makeup remained intact. After a little bit of research, I discovered that this new glue was developed by NASA to seal and repair damaged heat tiles on the space shuttle. I give a big poo-poo to all those who say that money spent for space research doesn’t have any practical uses.

I was glad there had been much thrashing and splashing about in the water tank, because it helped disguise the fact that the sudden shock of the water had caused a release of a “thunder pants explosion.”

Feeling secure that no one would suspect that I had committed such a social taboo, I climbed out of the tank, dripping like a rain forest.

I felt fairly sure that my dignity was still intact until Michael Aaron came to me and said he was so impressed that my underwear matched my caftan. I queried, “You saw my underwear?” He replied with why yes, everyone did.

Let this be an object lesson to all. A queen of quality must always match the carpet to the drapes.

As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions: 1. Would a lightning strike supply sufficient wattage to power my lighted breasticles?

2. Could “You Light Up My Life” become my theme song?

3. If struck by lightning, would people mistake me for The Bride of Frankenstein?

4. Is an underwater rectal honk less toxic than a normal knicker knocker?

5. Did the water filter the smell of the Anal Anthem, or was it just because my nose was full of water that I could smell nothing?

And the biggest question of all: 6. DID PETUNIA PEE IN THE WATER? Only her hairdresser will know for sure.

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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