salt lake magazine
UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY
August 2014 Issue 234 GaySaltLake.com FREE
NEON TREES’
TYLER GLENN ON MORMONISM, ATHEIST BASHING AND BEARS, OH MY!
PET ISSUE
ESCAPE INTO THE MUSIC Join the Utah Symphony and Utah opera for oUr eleventh annUal SUmmer concert SerieS —the Deer Valley® Music Festival. proGram
date /2014
day/time
location
1.
the teXaS tenorS: let freedom SinG!
JUly 4
(Fri) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
2.
kenny roGerS with the utah symphony
JUly 5
(Sat) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
3.
the mUSic of John WilliamS
JUly 11
(Fri) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
4.
the mUSic of U2 with the utah symphony
JUly 12
(Sat) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
5.
Beethoven’S eGmont overtUre
JUly 16
(Wed) | 8 pm
St. Mary’s Church
6.
1812 overtUre!
JUly 18
(Fri) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
JUly 19
(Sat) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
7.
mary chapin carpenter with the utah symphony
8.
the mUir StrinG QUartet
JUly 23
(Wed) | 8 pm
St. Mary’s Church
9.
tchaikovSky’S Serenade for StrinGS
JUly 30
(Wed) | 8 pm
St. Mary’s Church
10.
roSco and friction QUartetS
JUly 31
(Thurs) | 8 pm
St. Mary’s Church
11.
diSney in concert: tale aS old aS time
aUGUSt 1
(Fri) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
aUGUSt 2
(Sat) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
aUGUSt 6
(Wed) | 8pm
St. Mary’s Church
aUGUSt 8
(Fri) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
aUGUSt 9
(Sat) | 7:30 pm
Deer Valley® Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater
12.
13.
14.
15.
SUper diamond: a triBUte to neil diamond with the utah symphony
moZart’S Symphony no. 36 mormon taBernacle choir with the utah symphony
the Ben foldS orcheStral eXperience with the utah symphony
park City, ut / Programs and artists are subject to change.
for ticketS and lodGinG information viSit deervalleymUSicfeStival.orG Deer Valley® Music Festival PreferreD Park City loDging Partners:
Summer Symphony Sponsor
Summer Entertainment Sponsor
salt lake day at magazine
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sunday, aug 10 Discount coupons available at Club Try-Angles, Jam & Cahoots
Picnic with us all day & group photo at 4pm at the Pioneer Pavilion by Rattlesnake Rapids
4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE
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gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
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QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 5
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
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CONGRATULATIONS ON 10TH CIRCUIT DECISION!
Ending Coercion, Promoting Free-Agency, Self Reliance, and Peace WE DIDN’T HAVE TO “EVOLVE” ON EQUALITY! In contrast to other parties, the Libertarian Party has included sexual rights, including Marriage Equality, Adoption, Equal Military Service and the end of sodomy laws in our platform since 1976. You can send a message by supporting and voting for our candidates in 2014.
W. Andrew McCullough – Attorney General “As your next Attorney General, I will firmly support legal equality for all, including marriage equality; and I will work for that goal.”
facebook.com/lputah www.utahlp.org
Craig Bowden – US House 1 Jim L Vein – US House 4 Brent Zimmerman – State Senate 22 Roger S. Condie – State House 7 Megan Clegg – State House 23 Chelsea Travis – State House 35 Rainer Huck – State House 40 Bret Black – State House 44 Lee Anne Walker – State House 46 Barry Evan Short – State House 72
Look for the NEW 2014 QPages
Available at Pride, at over 200 locations across the Wasatch Front and qpages.com
QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
THE UTAH STONEWALL HISTORICAL SOCIETY PRESENTS
A Sizzling Summer Series EVERYTHING ABOUT HOMO-HISTORY YOU WERE TOO AFRAID TO ASK!
Mondays June 30th through July 28 at 7:00 p.m. downtown at the beautiful Salt Lake City Main Library, Meeting Room C. FREE TO THE PUBLIC. Guest presenters include local historians Connell O’Donovan, J Seth Anderson, Marty Pollack, Douglas Cartier and Ben Williams. COSPONSORED BY
Please Save The Date and join us for OUTreach Resource Centers
September Soiree Friday September 12, 2014 6:00-8:30pm at the historic Eccles Community Art Center 2580 Jefferson Ave, Ogden, UT 84401, 801-392-6935 Food & beverage splendidly catered by LeCroissant Catering Classical background music and live entertainment Special short keynote speaker—Mr. Sim Gill, S.L. County District Attorney Between December 20, 2013 and January 6, 2014 same-sex marriage was legal in Utah. In those 17 days some 1,360 couples institutionalized their love and commitment in legal matrimony. Salt Lake County, under the legal direction of Mr. Sim Gill led the way. Come hear Mr. Gill share the diverse, compelling, and moving stories of those 17 Days in Utah. For ticketing information, please go to OUTreach Resource Centers FaceBook page, or stay tuned for future articles coming in QSaltLake, The Ogden Standard Examiner, and The Salt Lake Tribune. OUTreach Resource Centers provides numerous and proven programs for LGBT youth; 5 Youth Drop-in Centers, Safe & Sound & Anti-bullying Programs, Education & Employment Program, Life Skills Youth Mentoring Program, Domestic Violence & Suicide Prevention Training, Healthy Sexuality Classes, Trans* & Mental Health Support Groups LGBTQ Safe Zone Training. Won’t you please consider attending and Help Us Grow?
Find us: facebook.com/OUTreachResourceCenters OutreachResourceCenters.org info@OutreachResourceCenters.org
801.686.4528
Saving Lives, Transforming Communities
8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | STAFF
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
FIRST PERSON | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
staffbox
Losing my camping companion
publisher/editor Michael Aaron
copy editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Bob Henline, Craig Ogan, Shelley Stewart contributors Chris Azzopardi, Lynn Beltran, Paul Berge, Dave Brousseau, Abby Dees, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Bob Henline, Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Sam Mills, Leesa Myers, Petunia Pap Smear, Anthony Paull, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Ben Williams, D’Anne Witkowski distribution Michael Hamblin,
Lin Marie, Matt Snow, Jason Van Campen publisher
Salt Lick Publishing LLC. 222 S Main St, Ste 500 Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-649-6663 Contact emails: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com
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QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2014, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 15,000 copies of QSaltLake Magazine are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the Wasatch Front. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake Magazine is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. Printed in the U.S.A. on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when you are through with it.
BY MICHAEL AARON
This was
a tough issue to put together. Over a month ago, I had arranged for some articles on the loss of a pet and how to deal with it for our annual Pet Issue. I didn’t know at the time that I would be going through exactly that as we put the issue together. Vixen was only six years old. I was supposed to have another six to ten years with her before I’d suffer the inevitable death of my best furry friend. Shortly after our Pride issue, however, Vixen stopped eating. It was the first time I noticed that she had lost a considerable amount of weight — enough that when we took her for a walk, she slipped out of her collar. In talking with family and friends, it was suggested I should check her teeth, and lo-and-behold they were horrible. I moved her onto soft, canned food and she gobbled it up and seemed to spring back. But then, she stopped eating altogether. Vixen never didn’t eat. She constantly was looking for treats and table scraps from the floor. Something was wrong. I called Animal Care Center in Bountiful Monday morning and they took her in right away. As I dropped her off, I saw a standard poodle with an equal sign carved into her rainbow-color-dyed fur. It gave me a sense of comfort and belonging. I left my cell number and went off to a staff meeting, thinking they would tell me that my girl had worms or a digestive problem and they would give her some medicine and send her home. I got a call not much more than an hour later. “We did some blood tests and it showed high levels of calcium in her blood,” Dr. Kara told me. I remember thinking that her teeth
should be better if she had high calcium levels. “That generally means one of two things, and neither is good,” she went on. My mind started racing and I went outside so I could hear her better and speak freely. “So I felt around further and found she has a very large tumor in her anal glands. I’m so sorry,
when she heard the car pull up. We had a morning routine around treats. She walked with me to watch sunsets. And she was about to leave me. Worse. I was going to have to tell someone to put her down. I got back to the vet and they brought her to me. She looked drugged. “I gave her a shot for pain,” Dr. Kara said. “So, she’s in pain,” I said/asked. “Yes,” she said. “Can we do this now?” “I’ll make the arrangements now,” she said. I held her and stroked her as she left this world. I keep forgetting that she won’t be at the door when I get home. I forget that it’s not her barking outside in the morning.
salt lake magazine
UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY
August 2014 Issue 234 GaySaltLake.com FREE
PET ISSUE but I’m surprised she has lived this long.” It hadn’t sunk in yet. “I’m so very sorry,” she said again. I knew then it was bad. Real bad. Vixen was my camping companion. She LOVED when people came to the house. She greeted me
I had Major Street Pet Services take care of her remains, which are now in a beautiful oak box. I plan to take some of her ashes to our two favorite camping spots this summer. And I hope to only remember her most happy moments. And that she’s at peace.Q
10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS
10th Circuit Affirms Shelby’s Ruling ... Twice In a 2-1 decision the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled to affirm United States District Judge Robert Shelby’s ruling of December 20, 2013. This affirmation again strikes down Utah’s Amendment 3 and the related “marriage laws” as unconstitutional and reaffirms the rights of same-sex couples to legally marry in Utah. In the opinion, the judges asked, “May a State of the Union constitutionally deny a citizen the benefit or protection of the laws of the State based solely upon the sex of the person that citizen chooses to marry? Having heard and carefully considered the argument of the litigants, we conclude that, consistent with the United States Constitution, the State of Utah may not do so. We hold that the the Fourteenth Amendment protects the fundamental right to marry, establish a family, raise children, and enjoy the full protection of state’s marital laws. A state may not deny the issuance of a marriage license to two persons, or refuse to recognize their marriage, based solely upon the sex of the persons in the marriage union.” The Court, days later, also ordered the state to recognize more than 1,200 samesex marriages performed in the state after Amendment 3 was overturned. The court gave the state 10 days to appeal their decision before the Supreme Court.
Veteran files suit for burial rights in Idaho Madelynn Lee Taylor, a 74-year-old military veteran, filed a lawsuit challenging an Idaho state law prohibiting her from being buried in the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery with her late wife, Jean Mixner. Taylor served in the Navy from 1958 to 1964. In 2013, she tried to make advance arrangements to have her ashes interred with those of her wife in a granite columbarium at the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery, as other veterans and their spouses are permitted. Though Mixner and Taylor were married in California in 2008, cemetery employees refused her request because Idaho law does not recognize their marriage. “Idaho is where some of our best memories together are and it’s where I want to spend eternity with Jean,” Taylor said. “I could be buried here alone, but I don’t want to be alone. I want Jean with me forever.”
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)
Colo. judge declares gay marriage ban unconstitutional Adams County District Court Judge C. Scott Crabtree declared Colorado’s samesex marriage ban unconstitutional today, but stayed his ruling. Colorado currently allows for civil unions, but defines marriage as between a man and a woman. “The Court holds that the Marriage Bans violate plaintiffs’ due process and equal protection guarantees under the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution,” Crabtree said in his ruling. “The existence of civil unions is further evidence of discrimination against same-sex couples and does not ameliorate the discriminatory effect of the Marriage Bans.” Colorado Attorney General John Suthers argued for the state’s ban, saying that the 15 state and federal judges who have struck down similar measures in other states were wrong. “They all got it wrong?” Crabtree asked during arguments in the case. “What am I supposed to do then when presented with this? Just punt?”
Restore Our Humanity passes the torch on marriage equality Restore Our Humanity, the organization that put together the plaintiffs and the attorneys, and assumed the financial responsibility for the Kitchen v. Herbert case announced that they are passing the torch in the battle as it moves to the Supreme Court level. “We are proud and humbled to be a part of Kitchen v. Herbert. Nevertheless, we recognize our limitations and finite
resources. Restore Our Humanity is a tiny, almost all-volunteer, grass-roots organization which has never sought the national spotlight. Our focus as an organization has always been to serve the diverse communities of Utah, and affect real, lasting, positive change here,” the group said in a statement. The National Center for Lesbian Rights joined the case in January of this year and reportedly contributed time and legal expertise leading up to the hearing at the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in April. NCLR and Equality Utah have taken on the fundraising role for the plaintiffs.
National organizations (except HRC) withdraw support for ENDA over Hobby Lobby ruling The line of organizations withdrawing support for the federal Employment NonDiscrimination Act grows each hour as national rights groups react to the recent Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Ruling and the religious exemptions in the current bill. The organizations fear “gaping legal loopholes to discriminate in federal, state and local legislation.” “The morning after the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby ruling, we all woke up in a changed and intensified landscape of broad religious exemptions being used as an excuse to discriminate. We are deeply concerned that ENDA’s broad exemption will be used as a similar license to discriminate across the country. We are concerned that these types of legal loopholes could negatively impact other issues affecting LGBT people and their families including marriage, access to HIV/AIDS treatment and prevention and access to other reproductive health services. As one of the lead advocates on this bill for 20 years, we do not take this move lightly but we do take it unequivocally – we now oppose this version of ENDA because of its too-broad religious exemption. We cannot be complicit in writing such exemptions into federal law,” said Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund. The American Civil Liberties Union, Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, Lambda Legal, National Center for Lesbian Rights, and Transgender Law Center signed onto a joint statement against ENDA as well. Q
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11
Pres. Obama announces executive order protecting trans* employees At the White House LGBT Pride Reception, President Obama announced he would be issuing an executive order to protect transgender federal employees from workplace discrimination. Once issued, it would expand upon an executive order from President Bill Clinton, which banned workplace discrimination upon federal employees on the basis of sexual orientation. National lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender civil rights organizations called for such an order when Obama was first elected, including the Human Rights Campaign in its Blueprint for Positive Change. “If Congress won’t act, I will. I have directed my staff to prepare an executive order for my signature that prohibits discrimination by federal contractors on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity,” Obama said at the reception. “And I’ve asked my staff to prepare a second executive order so that federal employees –- who are already protected on the basis of sexual orientation –- will now formally be protected from discrimination based on gender identity as well.” “I’ve repeatedly called on Congress to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act,” Obama said. “Right now, there are more states that let same-sex couples get married than there are states who prohibit discrimination against their LGBT workers. We have laws that say Americans can’t be fired on the basis of the color of their skin or their religion, or because they have a disability. But every day, millions of Americans go to work worried that they could lose their job – not because of anything they’ve done.” National leaders are lauding the announcement. “Today President Obama proved yet again why he will be remembered as the most proLGBT president in history,” said HRC President Chad Griffin in a statement. “Each and every American worker should be judged based on the work they do, and
never because of a fundamental aspect of who they are – like their gender identity. And the federal government, like employers across America, is best served by ensuring every qualified individual is able to serve without fear of discrimination. We thank President Obama for announcing this crucial and historic measure, and we look forward to seeing it signed soon.” Currently, there’s no federal law that explicitly bans workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. And 32 states lack explicit laws banning discrimination based on gender identity, while it’s legal under state law to fire or refuse employment to a person based on sexual orientation in 29 states. For 12 years, HRC’s Corporate Equality Index has set key standards for equality in America’s workplaces, and corporations of all sizes, regions and industries have risen to the challenge and adopted policies and practices that treat LGBT workers fairly and equally. According to HRC’s research, 91 percent of Fortune 500 companies include sexual orientation in their workplace policies and 61 percent include gender identity. Also, nearly 450 major companies require their suppliers to adhere to their own LGBT-inclusive workplace policies, including more than one-half of the 100 largest corporations in America. These companies span 37 distinct industries and employ 13.7 million people. A national survey of 1,200 registered voters was conducted June 6–10 by TargetPoint Consulting, finding that 63 percent of those surveyed favor a federal law that protects gay and transgender people from employment discrimination while only 25 percent oppose it. Enthusiasm for this is especially strong among supporters: 42 percent strongly favor it, while only 16 percent strongly oppose.
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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
One of Utah’s Finest: Brandie Balken to leave Equality Utah BY MICHAEL AARON
Just shy of her fifth anniversary as executive director of Equality Utah, Brandie Balken announced she will be leaving in August to assume a new position with the Gill Foundation, one of the nation’s largest funders of LGBT equality work. “My service as the executive director of Equality Utah has been the most rewarding and challenging of my life. As a lifelong Utahn it has been extraordinary to witness the astounding change in public opinion, and in public policy,” Balken said. “I am so honored to have had the opportunity to do this work at this amazing time, having benefited from the hard work and sacrifice of my predecessors — and countless others in this incredible community. “Together we have accomplished some wonderful things. Although I am sad that I will not be here to witness it, I know that Utah will continue to build on its gains in providing fairness, freedom and opportunity for all. I know, with the dedication, commitment and resilience of this community, and the drive and savvy of my colleagues at Equality Utah, the best is yet to come. Get ready Utah, the future is knocking,” Balken continued. “Brandie’s service and dedication to Utah’s LGBT community has been as inspired as it has been effective. Under her leadPHOTO: DAVID DANIELS
ership, Equality Utah has more than doubled in capacity and successfully lobbied for the passage of more than 35 LGBT-inclusive policies on local and state levels,” said Equality Utah Board Chair Clifford Rosky. “Brandie’s expertise, grace and compassion have truly transformed the landscape for LGBT equality in Utah, and we very much look forward to seeing her work continue on the national stage.” “In light of everything that Brandie has achieved in the last five years, it’s hardly surprising to see her moving on to the national stage. She has already been serving as the co-chair of the board of directors of Equality Federation for years, and her work in Utah has garnered attention from national organizations and activists across the United States,” Rosky continued. Shortly after she was named interim director of Equality Utah in July of 2009, succeeding Mike Thompson, the group announced the transition of its Common Ground Initiative from an effort to pass legislation at the state legislature to working with municipalities in the state to pass local ordinances. The effort was wildly successful, as 19 communities passed ordinances in all areas of the state, from Salt Lake City to St. George, to Moab to Price. In 2010, the organization was honored with Change.org’s Top 10 “Gay Rights Heroes of 2010” after securing its goal of 10 city ordinances in the first year. Also in 2010, Balken was named QSaltLake’s Person of the Year and was featured on the cover of the January issue. In 2012, Philanthropedia, a division of GuideStar which reports on U.S. nonprofits, ranked the group seventh among gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally organizations that had a high impact on their local community. Balken was also named by the organization as a top leader. Over the years, the organization helped many endorsed candidates from both sides of the aisle in their goal of a “fair and just Utah.” The group raised funds through personal donations and the annual Allies Dinner, which has grown dramatically since 2009, filling the largest ballroom in the state. The group expanded the dinner to include one each year in St. George. EU has also worked to forge relationships with politicians and other leaders at all levels of the state. Their reach of influence extends from senators to representatives to school leaders to the Utah Driver License Division. “Utah is a better place because of Brandie’s dedication, hard work and her talents,” Salt Lake City Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians said in a statement. “She will be missed, but will
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
now be able to continue to affect change on a national level, which benefits so many more people. We extend our sincere gratitude and congratulations to Brandie.” “I cannot imagine going through the events of the past year, without knowing that Brandie and Cliff and Equality Utah had my back,” said Restore Our Humanity director Mark Lawrence. “We have become not only a village but a new light in the universe and without Brandie and her work, that light would be much dimmer.” “Brandie Balken has been one of the greatest leaders of LGBTQ equality in Utah that has ever been my privilege to know. We all owe her a huge debt of gratitude,” said activist Eric Ethington. “When Ben Williams finally finishes his Utah LGBT history, Brandie will go down as one of the great ones. With legislators, her velvet touch masked in a backbone of steel. And organizationally, she is Fortune 400 material,” said Sen. James Dabakis. “I saw her steel side one day in a meeting where it was suggested that if she dropped the ‘T’ from ‘LGBT,’ she might get a statewide nondiscrimination bill passed. She icely said, ‘That, my friend, is going nowhere.’” “Brandie is a class act. She knows how to engage issues with compassion and intelligence,” said activist Troy Williams. “As marriage equality becomes the norm, our movement is now shifting toward LGBT nondiscrimination work. There is no one better qualified than Brandie to move this work across the country. Utah’s loss is the nation’s gain. We love and miss her already.” Marina Gomberg has been named interim director as the board finds a permanent replacement for the position. Gomberg is a communications manager at the University of Utah and was a director of development and marketing at
the Utah Pride Center for five years. She and her wife, Elenor Heyborne, are plaintiffs in a lawsuit against the State of Utah seeking to recognize the over 1,300 couples married during the 17 days that marriage was legal in the state. “Marina has deep roots in the LGBT community of Utah and strong communication and leadership skills. We look forward to utilizing her talents in this capacity while we conduct a thorough, comprehensive search for our next executive director,” Rosky said. “As always, Equality Utah remains fully committed to the growth of our robust programming. Working together, the board and the staff will continue to raise awareness about the experiences of transgender Utahns, achieve nondiscrimination protections in employment and housing, and win the freedom to marry for all Utahns.” Rosky is excited about where Equality Utah is, and where it plans to be in the near future. “This is an exciting time for Equality Utah and the LGBT movement. We are stronger than ever. We are about to win marriage equality in all 50 states, and our public education and fundraising campaign to support the Kitchen lawsuit that has played a significant role in that effort and served as a model for coalitions formed in other states. We have won the passage of more than 35 LGBT-inclusive policies at the state and local level, which protect millions of Utahns from discrimination in employment, housing and schools,” Rosky said. “We are excited to launch our new trans* awareness project, and to bring Laverne Cox as our special guest at then EU Allies Dinner this year. We have a lot of great new things planned for the upcoming year, and we are thrilled to find a new leader to keep moving us forward.” Q
NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13
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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
10th Circuit Affirms Shelby’s Ruling In a 2–1 decision the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled to affirm United States District Judge Robert Shelby’s ruling of December 20, 2013. This affirmation again strikes down Utah’s Amendment 3 and the related “marriage laws” as unconstitutional and reaffirms the rights of same-sex couples to legally marry in Utah. In the opinion, the judges asked, “May a State of the Union constitutionally deny a citizen the benefit or protection of the laws of the State based solely upon the sex of the person that citizen chooses to marry? Having heard and carefully considered the argument of the litigants, we conclude that, consistent with the United States Constitution, the State of Utah may not do so. We hold that the the Fourteenth Amendment protects the fundamental right to marry, establish a family, raise children, and enjoy the full protection of state’s marital laws. A state may not deny the issuance of a marriage license to two persons, or refuse to recognize their marriage, based solely upon the sex of the persons in the marriage union. For the reasons stated in this opinion, we affirm.” The court applied the standard of strict scrutiny to the case, arguing that “the right to marry is a fundamental liberty, plaintiffs will prevailon their due process and equal protection claims un-
less appellants can show Amendment 3 survives strict scrutiny.” In terms of judicial precedent, a provision of law subject to strict scrutiny “cannot rest upon a generalized assertion as to the classification’s relevance to its goals.” (Richmond v. J.A. Croson Co., 1989) Essentially, this level of scrutiny requires that Utah not only provide a compelling state interest, but also that this particular exclusion is the means by which that state interest is achieved. The compelling interest brought to bear by the State’s arguments, however, failed to meet that standard as determined by the panel. The State argued four primary justifications for Amendment 3: “Fostering a child-centric marriage culture that encourages parents to subordinate their own interests to the needs of their children”; “Children being raised by their biological “mothers and fathersor at least by a married mother and father-in a stable home”; “Ensuring adequate reproduction”; and “Accommodating religious freedom and reducing the potential for civic strife.” The Court granted that the first three claims were compelling, but that they failed on the “means prong of the strict scrutiny test.” The ruling argues that current Utah marriage law
Q mmunity Bingo at Sugar House Park Third Friday Bingo with the Matrons of Mayhem will be outdoors in July and August. WHEN: Friday, Aug. 15, 7pm WHERE: Pavilion at Sugar House Park COST: First card is $5, $3 add’l for charity.
Doctors, Dudes and Dinner That’s right folks, 3D is back. For the relaunch of the program, Utah AIDS Foundation will have a variety of holistic health
is not related to the ability to reproduce. In fact, the only Utah marriage laws that mentions procreation is the law that allows first cousins to marry in the event that they cannot reproduce. “Such a mismatch between the class identified by a challenged law and the characteristic allegedly relevant to the state’s interest is precisely the type of imprecision prohibited by heightened scrutiny.” The court also issued a stay on their own ruling, allowing the state time to appeal the ruling. The Tenth Circuit’s 112-page ruling was very meticulous and detailed, and provided a potential hint into the pending decision in Oklahoma’s current marriage equality case. They referenced the unpublished decision that the Governor and Attorney General of Oklahoma did not have standing to appeal that district court decision, implying that they would not be stepping in to overturn that ruling. They also made reference to the recent marriage case in Idaho, expressing support for that district judge’s decision even though Idaho is not a part of the Tenth Circuit and that case is currently under appeal in the Ninth Circuit. Utah’s Attorney General has released a statement indicating that they are evaluating the case and making a decision about ask-
care professionals talking about subjects including naturalpathic medicine, massage, diet, yoga, and others. The event will be held in the back parking lot of the Utah AIDS Foundation under some tents so we can take advantage of this beautiful summer weather. We will also be serving a delicious, healthy, balanced meal! It’s all free for you and your best gay friends! WHEN: Wednesday, July 30, 6pm WHERE: UAF, 1408 S 1100 E. RSVP: keith@utahaids.org by July 22
QSaltLake Lagoon Day Our annual day at Lagoon Amusement Park is set for Sunday, Aug. 10. Thousands of gay,
ing for a review of the decision by the entire Tenth Circuit or appealing directly to the Supreme Court of the United States. “Restore Our Humanity is humbled and honored to participate in the judicial process of our government. Our beloved country was founded on the principle that all women and men are created equal, and that they are endowed with the unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The founders wisely established our court system to protect individual liberty,” Restore Our Humanity said in a statement. “Today’s decision from the Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit affirms that every citizen has the unalienable right to the constitutional guarantees of Due Process and Equal Protection of the Laws. These rights include the government-granted benefits and protections of civil marriage, and specifically, the right to create a life and future with the person she or he loves. “We now speak directly to Governor Herbert: You swore an oath to “support, obey and defend the Constitution of the United States.” We call on you, here and now, to honor that promise. The courts have spoken. Honor your commitment. Defend the constitutional rights of all Utah citizens. Recognize that the benefits and protections of civil marriage must now apply equally to ALL Utah families and ALL Utah children.” Q
lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally people attend and we have a great time. Wear RED to stand OUT. We have again reserved the Pioneer Pavilion out by Rattlesnake Rapids. Karaoke by Kevan Floyd from noon to 4pm at the Pioneer Pavilion, Group photo at 4pm at the Pioneer Pavilion. The Matrons of Mayhem will be there doing flip-flop bingo from 4-5:30pm. Discount coupons, good for about 20% off admission for up to 8 people, will be available starting in July at Cahoots Cards, Club Try-Angles, Jam Slc, Off Trax, and Our Store WHEN: Saturday August 10 11a to close WHERE: Lagoon Park, Farmington
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Walk is an important way for us to raise awareness in the community and raise critical funds to provide services to those impacted by HIV/AIDS in Utah.” The community is invited to walk to make a difference in preventing new infections and providing compassionate
services to those impacted by HIV/AIDS. All of the funds raised at Salt Lake AIDS Walk go directly to services and programs at the Utah AIDS Foundation. To register for the Salt Lake AIDS Walk go to www.saltlakeaidswalk.org and to learn more about the Utah AIDS Foundation, check out their website: utahaids.org.
Do you know somebody with the ‘Spirit of Matthew’?
UAF prepares for 25th annual Salt Lake AIDS Walk The Utah AIDS Foundation announced the 25th annual Salt Lake AIDS Walk, to be held on Saturday, September 20th. The pledge walk will begin at City Creek Center in downtown Salt Lake City and follow a route through the city. “The urban route goes through the streets of downtown to raise awareness and visibility about HIV/AIDS in our community,” leaders said in a statement. “This year we are partnering with City Creek Center to kick off the Salt
Lake AIDS Walk.” The festivities will begin at 9:30 am in Regent Court (outside of the food court) at City Creek Center and will include drawings, breakfast snacks and a fun morning warm-up. The individuals and teams that raise more than $500 will be invited to attend a breakfast prior to the start Salt Lake AIDS Walk. “This year we want you to ‘Come walk with us’”, said Stan Penfold, Executive Director of the Utah AIDS Foundation. “The Salt Lake AIDS
Like all social justice movements, the LGBT movement is an intergenerational struggle. Young leaders and activists play a vital role in advancing the cause. Each year, the Matthew Shepard Foundation honors a young activist with the Spirit of Matthew Award. “Matt never doubted he could play an important role in changing a person’s life for the better. He is remembered by family and friends as a person who was unwilling to let the world’s powers and leaders settle for less than what their people and the human race deserves,” leaders of the organization said in a statement. “We present this award in an effort to encourage the restless, creative, impatient desire for change that was so much a part of who Matt was and will always be.”
The award is presented to one young LGBT or allied youth who is working to erase hate, based on sexual orientation or gender identity; those young people who stand up for what is right, and who further the work of the Foundation by teaching diversity, acceptance and understanding through their words and actions. The group is seeking nominations for this year’s gala scheduled in October. If you know a young person who is teaching diversity, acceptance and understanding, they are asking you to nominate them at MatthewsPlace. com by Aug. 15. You can also email Robin Wood with 500 words about the work the young person is doing, as well as the nominee’s and nominator’s contact information.
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What’s next? Equality Federation issues report BY FRAN HUTCHINS
In the next few years, we have the real possibility of winning the freedom to marry for same-sex couples in every state in the country. Few thought we would reach this moment so quickly, but it’s almost here. As it approaches, our movement is wrestling with a key question: What’s next? editorial_franHutchinsEquality Federation— the strategic partner to state-based organizations advancing equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people — has worked on the ground in nearly all of the states that have won marriage so far. And in each state where we’ve worked, we’ve learned an important lesson: achieving marriage does not end discrimination or injustice against LGBTQ people. Wedding bells do not signal that our work is finished. As important a milestone as it is, marriage equality will not keep LGBTQ young people in their homes and loved by their families. It will not keep them in school and out of the criminal justice system. It will not ensure transgender people access to accurate identity documents or critical health care services. It will not make our streets and our communities safe and free from violence. It will not make our military, our prisons, or our immigration system inclusive and just. And yet marriage has been an important framing issue for our movement for the past decade. Entire organizations and campaigns have been created to address this critical issue. Millions of dollars from millions of donors have been poured into winning. As a movement, we’ve learned how to strategize, organize and win. Now, we must take what we can from that work and keep going. In our experience on the ground, we have come to understand marriage as just one milestone on a much longer journey to full LGBTQ liberation. And although marriage is not the endpoint of our work, it is a milestone that provides the opportunity and the necessity for reflection, assessment, and planning. What does it look like to do LGBTQ advocacy work beyond the marriage milestone? In short, post-marriage work is about
achieving lived equality. It’s about making sure that the lives of all of our community members are not only framed by legal equality but also rooted in safety and opportunity. It’s about working the intersections of the oppression that separates us from the freedom we so long to win. It’s about addressing the needs and advancement of the most vulnerable among us, measuring our success in the lived experiences of our people. In this report, we consider what’s next for states that have secured the freedom to marry — states that had been working for years to win, that grew and expanded in order to get the work done, that achieved victory and realized they had completed all or most of their initial policy goals. In the report, we ask and answer: How can organizations make the shift to focusing on lived equality? Over the past year, Equality Federation has been working with these states that are beyond the marriage milestone. We have been collaborating with organizations like Equality Maine, Garden State Equality, OutFront Minnesota, Equality Maryland, Equality Hawaii, and Equality New Mexico as they engaged in a process to determine their organizations’ futures and the futures of the movement in their states. In addition to partnering with these organizations, we interviewed key movement leaders who were deeply engaged in state work beyond the marriage milestone or who had been involved in charting the post-marriage future. Through these partnerships and conversations, we came to deeply understand the challenges facing states that have achieved the marriage milestone: State leaders don’t have a single, tested model for what post-marriage work looks like. So far, most states that have achieved marriage have also secured nondiscrimination protections, safe schools policies and beyond. What work remains to be done, and how do we get it done, after we’ve achieved marriage? No coordinated funding effort has emerged to support organizations working beyond the marriage milestone. Like state leaders, funders are still wrestling with the
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
question of “what’s next?” in states that have secured a host of legal protections for LGBTQ people. Major donor and grassroots funding is more difficult without a galvanizing issue like marriage. How do we engage individual donors at every level in supporting the work that remains to be done after marriage? State organizations must learn new ways to partner and collaborate as post-marriage work is increasingly understood as intersectional in nature, responding to the needs of those who live at the intersections of class, race, immigration status and beyond. Given everything we’ve learned over the past year about the work and the future of organizations beyond the marriage milestone, we know one thing to be true: now is the time. Now is the moment for statewide LGBTQ advocacy groups to plan for their work beyond marriage. From groups that are on the brink of winning to groups that will only achieve marriage as part of a federal mandate, our movement organizations must begin to grapple with big questions, have intentional conversations, both internal and external, and begin communicating with constituents about what’s next. We recommend that organizations undertake a robust planning process that involves the board, staff and community. We recommend that each organization carefully consider the landscapes — political, social, cultural — in which they operate and work to develop and message an organizational identity that responds to everything that’s at stake. We recommend that organizations begin to adapt now for a new political reality and an uncertain funding future. At Equality Federation, we believe that LGBTQ political power can be effectively developed, held and mobilized at a statewide level. We believe that healthy LGBTQ advocacy groups in each state make for a strong nationwide movement. We believe a strong state-based and national movement is critical to winning lasting equality — including but not limited to marriage. If we want a strong movement the ensures lasting equality, we need strong LGBTQ organizations that keep working and thriving after winning marriage. Let’s use this historic moment as an opportunity to refocus the discussion on lived equality and true freedom for everyone in our community. See the full report at equalityfederation.org.
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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS
“
I’m not straight and this is only something that very recently – we’re talking in the past two weeks – I’ve been comfortable telling the closest people around me … I was concerned about the reaction from my family, my friends. I’m pleased to say that in telling them, and especially my parents, they told me that they love me and they support me. And for young people out there, know that that’s usually what the answer is. I’m a little bit ashamed that I didn’t come out earlier, that I didn’t have the strength to do it, I didn’t have the courage to do it, to break that lie. But everyone goes on their own path to do this.
views
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
quotes in the news
—Australian swimmer Ian Thorpe
Gay Freedom Day Editor, The QSaltLake-sponsored 40-year Utah Gay Freedom Day event at City Creek Canyon was fun, inclusive and had no VIPs! That night, I read an online commentary. It described the recently bizarre position that the National Rifle Association of America Inc. found itself in when one of its staffers criticized its own members for protesting Texas laws which provide for the possession of unconcealed rifles, but not handguns as most states do. The laws require Texans, who say that they would
choose to enjoy the visual deterent to violent crime that comes with their open carry of a handgun for their self defense, to carry it concealed or openly carry a rifle, which the laws allow. Handguns may only be possessed if they are concealed. Utah law allows for the open carry of either type of firearm as long as it is holstered or encased, but, aside from protests and rallies, very few Utahns openly carry rifles. What I liked about the online commentary is its comparison with “civil rights activists [who] have repeatedly been compelled to engage in constitutionally protected
behavior that made others uncomfortable.” It described my Gay Freedom Day with longtime and current Utah LGBT activists who found some humor with my repeated compulsion to engage in constitutionally protected behavior which might have made others uncomfortable. Maybe they understood the similarity between our past when hundreds who rioted outside a New York bar made others throughout the nation uncomfortable, and our ongoing attempts to protect against violent crimes. In the end, I suspect that everyone at the event considered my openly carried firearm
as intentionally symbolic, but otherwise harmless. That is the way it should be among people who say that they support (but don’t always include) the Constitution for the United States of America.!
DAVID NELSON Millcreek
QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor. Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@qsaltlake.com. We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.
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the straight line
Discrimination and religious exemptions BY BOB HENLINE
In the
August 2013 issue of QSaltLake I wrote a column about the push to create religious exemptions in nondiscrimination law, and the potential impact of such exemptions. Little did I know that scarcely a year later the United States Supreme Court would issue a ruling that allows closely held corporations to exempt themselves from laws based upon the religious views of their owners. While the much-discussed Hobby Lobby case focused on the legality of such corporations refusing the mandate to provide contraceptive coverage under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), it is hard to imagine that the precedent set therein won’t be applied to other areas of the law, such as nondiscrimination. In the ruling, Justice Samuel Alito wrote: “We hold that the regulations that impose this obligation violate RFRA (Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993), which prohibits the federal government from taking any action that substantially burdens the exercise of religion unless that action constitutes the least restrictive means of serving a compelling government interest.” It doesn’t take much of an intuitive leap to see where this is going. Religious groups and corporations opposed to equality have used the “religious freedom” argument for years, and they’re already smelling the blood in the water. The New York Times recently reported that a letter, dated June 25, was delivered to The White House
indicating that “any executive order that does not fully protect religious freedom will face widespread opposition and will further fragment our nation.” That letter, according to the report, was followed by another one dated July 1 and organized by former Obama campaign and White House staffer Micheal Wear. This second letter requested “that an extension of protection for one group not come at the expense of faith communities... .” President Obama’s executive order, which was promised by the administration to be delivered “soon,” has yet to be issued, as of the time this is being written. The question I have for these faith communities is the same question I’ve asked for years: how do federal employment protections for LGBT citizens limit your right to worship as you see fit? Is there some tenet of your religion that requires you to cause harm to LGBT people? While the United States Constitution (specifically the First Amendment) protects the freedom to worship or not according to the dictates of individual conscience, that freedom does not include the right to cause harm to others in the pursuit of said worship. And that is exactly what is being requested here: the freedom to cause harm to other human beings based solely upon their sexual orientation or gender identity. That is what is at stake with regard to discrimination: very real harm caused to very real people. Our socio-political system is based upon a social contract.
That social contract necessarily places limits on individual freedoms in order to preserve the common good. As the wise man once said, “your freedom to swing your fist ends when it impacts my face.” The same can be said of religion. We have laws that preclude human sacrifice, although some religions have such practices. We have laws that preclude things like “honor killings” of women and girls for shaming their families, and we certainly don’t allow biblical punishments like stoning for premarital intercourse. The law must allow for the limitation of religious expression when that expression
causes harm to other people. Like these barbaric practices, racial and gender-based discrimination have (at least in law) been relegated to the dustbin of history. There was a time when religious groups argued that these forms of discrimination were “God’s will,” it’s the same argument being used now to justify LGBT discrimination. It’s old, it’s tired, and it belongs in the past. This is not an issue of faith nor of religion. It’s about the fair and ethical treatment of all of our fellow human beings. Discrimination is not a religious freedom, it’s just bigotry. Q
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gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
queer shift
PEOPLE — Shift The older
BY CHARLES LYNN FROST
I get, some of the most simple life knowledge a human can grasp once again is presented to me, and I discover all over again what is rather profound, wondering how I ever thought I had fully grasped the total knowledge when put in front of me earlier in life. It’s been happening a lot lately, and I am seriously worried and wondering if I have ever heard or learned it before. Crazy wanting to move in and stay for the duration of my life? Yikes. I recently came across a statement by young English actor Tom Hiddleston that sparked as wisdom to me. I knew the concept he was presenting, but it resonated with me once again at this important phase of life. “If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will soon be in the negative. Know when to close the account.” In a past life I was VP of Curricular Development for the conservative Franklin Covey Company. Difficult culture at best for an out and outspoken gay man, but I felt the content inside the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People extremely powerful. So much so that I, for over a decade now, have called the seven habits my Life Operating System or LOS. One of the most powerful metaphors inside the book is the concept of the Emotional Bank Account. We all make deposits and withdrawals in all of our personal and professional relationships. Just like a bank account, and one minor or major withdrawal from another person can take great time and several deposits to regain trust and mutual respect. It is also a behavior that has to be genuine, authentic, real, and not a manipulative practice otherwise it is quickly revealed as false or insincere. It’s really cool when a personal or professional relationship, or even an entire work or organizational culture, can understand the concept and be truth tellers with one another. Life, effectiveness, work and productivity, time, and most importantly love seems to flow
so much better. As you can tell the idea of an emotional bank account directly connects and correlates with Tom Hiddleston’s statement. The most important part of his quotation is “know when to close the account.” To some this may seem harsh, but allowing toxic people to continue to make regular withdrawals from your relationship then you’re quickly left with nothing left for yourself, nothing left to give to others who are making deposits in your relationship, nothing to recharge your spirit and soul, let alone your patience and persistence. Knowing, really knowing the people to have in your life that are driven by an abundance-thinking mindset is essential to happiness. I hear a lot of people from the queer community saying “if I only could do this,” “if I could only find this,” “if I could just get so and so to see things this or that way, I’d be happy.” (or at least happier.) The list goes on and on. You’ve heard them. I choose happiness, is YOUR choice. No one else can achieve this for you. Sure you can work with others to attain aspects of happiness, but your perception of that word, feeling, perspective, strictly belongs to you. So are you truly happy? Do you even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? The people in your life have a lot to do with getting to YES regarding this question. There are important questions for anyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. The following are a few tips that I suggest you consider to create happiness in your life. Understand what it is that will make you happy. Everyone has unique requirements. Make the list, live with it, think about it often, and celebrate your individuality. Don’t worry about whether or not your desires are comparable to those in you life. Make a plan for attaining goals that you believe will make you happy. Your mood will very likely increase as you pursue your
goal because you will feel better about yourself for going after something you value. Ah ha — surround yourself with happy people. It is easy to begin to think negatively when you are surrounded by people who think that way. Conversely, if you are around people who are happy, their emotional state will be infectious. When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity. Think, turn it around. Surround Ponder daily the things that make yourself with you happy. Make happy people. this behavior a It is easy to focus. Gratitude floods. begin to think It’s also impornegatively tant to take some time each day to do when you are something nice for surrounded yourself. by people who Finding the humor in situations think that way. can also lead to happiness. Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness. Exercise has been known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of happiness. Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness. Mindset, mantra, meditation. Another Hiddleston quote I came across, or it was put quite intentionally put in my path this past month; it ties all that I have tried to say in this column together quite effectively. I am a new Hiddleston groupie. “We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one.” Keep your emotional bank account full and healthy. Make happiness a real focus in your life. Be well, catch you in August. Q
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who’s your daddy? Big Deck
Just like a girl
Online 45 feet away Single
BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS
I have an
ongoing joke with my sister. Since she’s not married, I remind the boys that if my dad isn’t available and I’m not around, then they are in charge of their aunt. I’m not sure which she finds most amusing: that I’d say it, or the fact that the boys actually believe me. Obviously, I’m kidding around. But recently, I’ve become more attuned to the fact that the little dudes are taking their cues about a lot of different aspects of being a man from me -- how to conduct themselves, how to interact with other men, and yes, how to treat women. Most boys follow their dad’s lead when it comes to women, healthy or not. But my kids will never see me interact with a wife. They do, however, witness me deal with other women every day. To be honest, the topic of how I treat women never really crossed my mind too much in the past. But now Gus likes this girl — I know who she is, but I’ve sworn secrecy never to reveal her name -- and suddenly I’m concerned about how he and Niko see women. I want them to view women the same way they do men: just people. That’s when I realized that our society, and almost every society around the world, views women as being something lesser, something weak. Think about it: “You run like a girl,” “You throw like a girl,” “He’s crying like a girl.” Whenever I hear someone throws like a girl, I’m reminded of this woman I knew in California, who had attended college on a fast-pitch softball scholarship. Once on an ill-fated date, she sprained a guy’s hand. He had insisted she throw as hard as she could, yet he declined to wear a glove because, after all, she was just a girl.
Actually, I started putting the kibosh on equating women to bad performance or weakness a couple of years back. There was this kid at Scouts, who rather adamantly expressed his distaste for removing the seeds of the pumpkins we were carving. The other boys started good-naturedly teasing him about it by calling him “Emily.” There was no explanation for the choice of name, but the message was clear: Boys don’t mind sticking their hands into cold, slimy squash innards. After a minute or two, I stepped in and told him that he could either clean the pumpkin himself or stand up and ask the other boys exactly why they thought girls were bad or weak. Several of the other dads got my point, and the teasing stopped. The kid returned to carving, his pumpkin immaculately free of seeds and strings courtesy of the gay dad. So now when one of the boys’ friends or even one of my brothers uses “like a girl” in a derogatory manner, I simply add, “there’s nothing wrong with girls, they’re great.” And recently I’ve started to take it a step further. I’ve started to make comments about all women being beautiful. I don’t want my boys to view women and beauty through the limited lenses forced on them by Madison Avenue. They’ve been hearing a lot of, “All women are beautiful” lately. I think that’s one of the gifts of being gay. I can see the beauty, the power, the awesomeness of women specifically because they don’t rock my world in that physical way. Of course, there are plenty of straight guys that feel the same way about women as I do. I just want to make sure that my sons grow up to be two of them. Q
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gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
lambda lore
Who I am and what I do BY BEN WILLIAMS
This
month’s column is a little personal. I feel like I need to address “who I am and what I do” regarding my attempts to preserve the history of the homosexual struggle and community building in Utah. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Social Science, specifically in history and political science, some 40 years ago; before having a master’s degree became the only qualification for credibility. My emphasis was on Oral Histories which at the time was a new field. I came to Utah in 1973 and I have been an eyewitness to most of the events I write about; or I have taken an oral history from those who participated in “busting open the closet door in Utah.” I have a sense of history. That is my background. However, there must be an impression among some folks that I am more than what I say I am. Recently I was attacked on social media by a staff member of the Pride Center who said my work is “garbage” for not including trans history and that as a gay man how much could I know about trans history? Therefore I had no right to call myself an “LGBT historian.” I was accused that I wasn’t much of a historian if I didn’t write that the Stonewall Riot was a trans event. At first I was taken aback by this vitriolic attack by someone I hardly knew and from whom this community pays a salary. Clearly this person had no idea who I am and what I have been trying to do for the past 30 years in Salt Lake City. And that is to preserve the memories and works of a homosexual people who had struggled to create a sense of identity and acceptance in Utah among a hostile religion and people. I would like to set the record straight for those under the impression that I am a historian for all gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual and trans people. I have never made the claim that I was an “LGBT historian” and for those who have bothered to read the 10 years of columns I have written for QSaltLake, I have never used that acronym although some have labeled me a LGBT historian. I am not an LGBT historian. Let me make that clear so I am no longer disparaged for something I am not. If anything I am a person who keeps a chronology of historical events of Utah’s sexual minorities for future
researchers to use before they are forgotten. Period. I have never pretended to be more than what I am; a gay man, attempting, however imperfectly, to keep track of the events and times of my gay and lesbian friends and others who have fought against incredible religious bigotry in this state. I know my limitations. I will admit I am old school. I believe that homosexuals are a not just a community. I believe we have a unique “Volksgeist” or queer spirit that speaks to us, that connects us to each other. This concept does not marginalize us but rather unifies us in a hostile world no matter what our individual life choices may be. I call it my good fortune to have known most of the people I write about personally. They pioneered the way to equality and I have set down their stories in my archives and my journals. I have spent countless hours over three decades compiling material that I have always gave freely to anyone who asks. I have never made money off of the gay community. I do not believe in buying and selling family which I believe Utah’s gay community is to me. Instead I have helped several people with their doctorate and master’s endeavors. I have helped someone who was court ordered to know the history of gay people in Utah. I have even helped a high profile lawyer from Jackson Hole, Wyoming win a case against the state of Utah that claimed there was no gay community in Utah. The past directors of the Pride Center have referred me to the media because they do not know their own history. I was once asked who all the past chairs of the board of the Center were because no one there knew. Where is the institutional memory of the Pride Center? Sadly sometimes I think it is me. As librarian at the Utah Stonewall Center, I had several volunteers who were trans people, before there was an identified trans community, including Deborah Dean founder of Engendered Species. I never pretended to tell their story. I never pretended to tell the stories of lesbians and bisexuals either. I can only tell a story from my perspective as a gay man dealing with the issues of gay men and our friends. Why would I presume to? Fortunately, Dean has
written her story. However, in my archives of over 10,000 pages there are recorded the newspaper accounts and other sources of gay men and women and the trans movement, as it began to be written about in the late 1990s. I’ve included as many articles from the LGBT communities as I can find. But for some I am sure that will never be enough. When the bisexual and trans communities became included in the movement for equality and social justice in the 1990s, I recorded in my archives what I could find but I do not write about that which I do not know. Very little has been written in the media and I do not have access to the minutes of various trans organizations. Personalities, like Dominique Storni, however are heavily included in my records because I know her and she has been an outspoken advocate for both the trans and gay communities. Needless to say I am not omniscient and I cannot write about what I don’t know. I do have a regular job that preoccupies much of my life. One of the reasons I am reluctant to write a book of the history of the gay community in Utah is because of the criticism I would receive if I did not reflect the political correctness of the moment. I am sure different parts of the LGBT community would take offense at whatever “language” I used. If I only wrote about history from a gay man’s perspective, I would upset people who felt “erased.” However, I feel you can only be erased if you allow your history to disappear. People need to step up and write their own histories. People come and go in this community and they take with them their information and records. People who are in positions of “authority” today will not always be here tomorrow. We need the records. People should be required to write a synopsis of their accomplishments in salaried positions. If I can create a historical society for gay and lesbian studies why cannot others create their own historical societies for various elements of the LGBT community? They wouldn’t even have to start from scratch. I will gladly let them have access to my entire archives for free to glean as they will. But that is much harder to do than simply bitch. A record of Utah’s homosexuals is my only legacy. Our struggle is worth preserving. I apologize for any shortcomings in trying to preserve fading memories before they are lost in the dust of time. However, I will never apologize for my life’s work and love for the queer communities of Utah. Q
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august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
creep of the week
Matt Barber BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI
America
is a weird place. On the one hand, we have court after court giving the legal middle finger to anti-gay marriage laws across the land. On the other hand, we have a Supreme Court who just ruled that for-profit companies have religious beliefs and that those religious beliefs make it okay for them to not only deny contraceptive coverage to their employees. It’s a big Fuck You to the Affordable Care Act, to doctors, to women, to men who want to make sex with women but don’t want to make babies, and, yes, to people who have sincerely held religious beliefs. After all, the Supreme Court didn’t rule in favor of people here, it ruled in favor of giving for-profit corporations expanded rights that trump the right of their employees. Which is an alarming trend of this Supreme Court. So if you’re anything like me, you’ve had to make a concerted effort not to get into arguments on Facebook about the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby ruling because some dumb just cannot be cured and ain’t nobody got time for that. To say that I am unhappy with the ruling is an understatement. Meanwhile, the religious right is super excited about the ruling, and leading the circle jerk is Liberty
Job #:088438.01
Ref #:
Council’s Matt Barber. You see, the hope is that this ruling will help pave the way for businesses to get out of having to abide by pesky discrimination laws that cover LGBT people. “#HobbyLobby may help protect businesses from those pushing counter-biblical #LGBT lifestyle & anti-Christian agenda,” Barber tweeted soon after the ruling was announced on June 30. And Lord knows that’s what businesses, the only “people” that really matter in America, need protection from: making wedding cakes for homos. Later he Tweeted, “Let me be clear: Yes, the #HobbyLobby case gives us hope that we may yet defeat the #homofascist #lgbtactivist left #FirstAmendmentFirst.” The first amendment, of course, applies only to Christians. If you’re not imaginary friends with Jesus, then STFU. Also, it’s cute that he calls homos “fascists” like he’s scared of us. It also makes me wonder if he knows what a fascist is. I’ll give you a hint: it’s probably not a lesbian looking for a wedding photographer. On Barber’s BarbWire (get it?) website there is a photo of a Hobby Lobby store and imposed over the photo is an image of a hand holding a revolver pointing straight out at the viewer, the Obama reelection
Notes:
logo in the barrel, “Obama Care” written underneath. Which I guess is supposed to mean that somebody is going to shoot Obama Care or maybe just Obama. It isn’t clear. In the top right hand cover is the address to an end times website that looks like it’s a parody, but it is not. That the Hobby Lobby ruling should give Barber a boner and that he should follow that boner and arrive at the gays is not a surprise. He’s kind of obsessed. According to Right Wing Watch, on his Faith and Freedom radio show Barber claimed that marriage equality was the work of the devil. “Marriage is the cornerstone institution of any healthy society,” Barber said, “and so clearly the Father of Lies, the Enemy of the World hates marriage, wants to destroy marriage and so this concept of counterfeit marriage, of samesex marriage, that is the brainchild.” Which is how in Barber’s twisted mind, Hobby Lobby, a for-profit company that sells hot glue and fake flowers, is an agent of the Lord. As a legally married homo, I have to say I don’t feel like I’m an agent of Satan. I mean, for one thing, I don’t believe he exists. So if there’s some kind of lobbying I’m supposed to be doing on the devil’s behalf, I am doing a super shitty job. Although I’d be flattered if Barber thought differently. Q D’Anne Witkowski has been gay for pay since 2003. She’s a freelance writer and poet who reviews rock and roll shows in Detroit with her twin sister.
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gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
guest editorial
World Congress of Families is indeed hateful BY CHAD GRIFFIN
“Extreme”
is not a word we use lightly. In the Human Rights Campaign’s recent condemnation of the World Congress of Families and its decision to host its annual international summit in Salt Lake City — the first ever in the United States — we chose it to describe the group’s forceful advocacy against LGBT people in many nations around the world. We also highlighted the Southern Poverty Law Center’s designation of the organization as a “hate group.” Although representatives of the World Congress of Fami-
lies (WCF) disagree, we believe the long and disturbing records of WCF and many of its sponsors, partners and affiliates represent the very definitions of hateful and extreme. Here are a few of the many troubling reasons why. Scott Lively has been a featured speaker at major WCF summits, and he traveled to Russia as part of a core WCF team to plan their last large international gathering. Lively is infamous for his efforts abroad to promote dangerous antiLGBT legislation and spread false and deceptive lies about LGBT people. Throughout his travels, he’s proclaimed that
LGBT people are responsible for the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide and the spread of HIV/AIDS. His work in Uganda is welldocumented, and following his years of meeting with Ugandan lawmakers as well as faith and community leaders, Uganda enacted a horrific anti-LGBT law this past February. Since the law was debated and enacted, there has been a vicious and violent backlash against LGBT Ugandans. Some Ugandan officials credit Lively with the idea of introducing new legislation to further criminalize homosexuality in the country, and prominent Ugandan LGBT activists say the “bill is essentially his creation.” WCF has also been heavily involved in promoting an appalling Russian anti-LGBT law that was enacted last July. Larry Jacobs, WCF’s managing director, called the law “a great idea,” met repeatedly with law’s author, Russian parliamentarian Yelena Mizulina, and the organization released a public letter in support of the legislation. Jacobs had previously said that Russian President Vladimir Putin was “defending laws and morality consistent with the freedom in the U.S. Constitution.” Last week, we released a report that documents how LGBT Russians have been subjected to horrific incidents of discrimination, harassment and violence in the year since its enactment. This includes public beatings, assaults by masked men, and poisonous gas attacks on LGBT venues. There have been online witch hunts to find and fire pro-equality teachers,
and even an investigation of a 14-year-old girl who allegedly broke the law by coming out to her classmates. The WCF has also held events across Eastern Europe in an attempt to drum up support for more anti-LGBT laws and suppress LGBT advocacy, and has been active in Nigeria and Kenya as well. The World Congress of Families is also engaged in international work with a broader impact. LGBT people are considered criminals under the law in nearly 80 countries, and in 2008 and 2009 the United Nations took up a historic resolution that called on all nations to decriminalize homosexuality. At the time, WCF Managing Director Larry Jacobs described such efforts as “anti-family and anti-faith.” Rather than stand with the United States and its dozens of allies in supporting a measure promoting basic human dignity, WCF sided with such notorious human rights abusers as North Korea and Iran in opposing it. As much as it disturbs us, it isn’t surprising. Sharon Slater, a prominent WCF ally and featured summit speaker, said in 2010 that “Iran is one of the strongest nations in standing up for family values at the UN.” In The Salt Lake Tribune, the World Congress of Families stated that it stands for dignity, tolerance and compassion. But any person or organization that’s engaged in promoting anti-LGBT laws or sowing seeds of bigotry around the world has no rightful claim to such terms. Hate is neither an American value nor a family value. We reject the World Congress of Families’ assertion that it represents either, and it is our sincere belief that the citizens of Salt Lake City will wholeheartedly agree. Q Chad Griffin is president of the Human Rights Campaign.
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
THE BOOK OF TYLER
Neon Trees frontman talks reconciling gay Mormonism, atheist bashing and bear lust BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI
Neon Trees
frontman Tyler Glenn is still figuring out what it means to be a gay Mormon. Not just how both modifiers can exist simultaneously, but if it’s even possible that they do. The alt musician spoke candidly on the heels of the band’s latest album, Pop Psychology, revealing how he’s not letting other people — even the Mormon Church — define his relationship with God, the gay atheists who lambasted him for standing by his beliefs and one of the reasons he recently came out: to find love. What does being a gay Mormon mean to you? How are you able to be both without feeling like a contradiction? Yeah, it’s interesting. Because there were things about the church they didn’t agree with, or they decided they wanted to live a different lifestyle regardless of sexuality, I had seen so many of my friends fall away from the church, even if they didn’t necessarily want to. They just felt like they had to pick one or the other. In my life, I’ve never felt like I totally wanted to do everything that I was told I had to. I’ve always been that way, and I still have a lot of faith in God and in a lot of the teachings of the church. Obviously there are things I scratch my head at, but I’ve always been that way. I just wasn’t so quick to throw away that part of me and accept this other part of me, so I guess my situation is, I want to be open and honest and say I have these beliefs, that I have these feelings and I’ve acted on these feelings and this is who I am. I’m not ashamed of it. There have been a lot of people that have come up to me since [I came out] and said, “Thank you for being that way, because a lot of other people feel that way too.” The Mormon Church is tolerant of homosexuality as long as you abstain from homosexual relations. That said, how are you able to reconcile Mormonism and homosexuality in terms of establishing physical relationships? What happens when you’re in a relationship, and are you in one? I wish I could find a relationship. I don’t want to sound like I’m on the prowl, but when I came out, part of it was because I want to find love. I want to find somebody. I’ve never been all about the random hook-ups, although I’ve had those experiences, but that’s just not who I am. Coming out was a release. I want to meet someone in a more open, normal setting and not just have to be covert on apps and online — hiding it. I think reconciling — I don’t know. I guess when it comes to it, I will. You know, I identify as Mormon because I believe in it,
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and regardless if, at some point, they decide to say, you can’t be [Mormon], I still won’t let someone here on Earth define my faith or my relationship with God and my beliefs. I will still identify with those beliefs. So, if your bishop does not approve of your relationship with another man, you wouldn’t walk away from the church? I don’t think I would be the one walking away, but I would probably be removed from the records. I mean, I do go occasionally, but I haven’t actively gone to church in about seven or eight years. I’ve always kind of felt like I didn’t fit in, but at the same time I love serving the mission, I love the teachings, I love The Book of Mormon. There are a lot of things I really, really believe in. It’s funny. Coming out as gay — it was almost harder to come out as Mormon. I was surprised how many people didn’t know I was Mormon, that I was raised that way. I got a lot of flak from atheists, which is interesting. A lot of gay atheists were applauding that I was coming out, but bashing me because I decided to still remain Mormon. Of all the people you’ve come out to in your life — your family, the church, the whole world — whose acceptance meant the most to you? I don’t know if it meant the most, but at the time it did. My producer [Tim Pagnotta] and one of my really close friends who I’ve written so much music with was the first person I came out to. I really wanted him to know what the songs were about. I got the courage to tell him and his reaction was so loving and so caring. I never associated any sort of love with being gay, and then he congratulated me and it changed my world. It encouraged me to tell my parents, my family and my band. It really gave me the courage to come out publicly. I don’t know if it means the most in retrospect, but it definitely had the biggest impact on me. You mentioned hooking up and how it’s really not your thing. Has your religion made sex a struggle for you? My situation was really odd. I got really good at
compartmentalizing. I assume a lot of gay men who aren’t out get really good at that. There were times when I didn’t feel guilt. It was more just the anxiety from hiding it. In my 20s, I really started to express and explore that [sexual] side of me. It got to the point where I was 25, 26 and I was OK with being gay, but I was just at a crossroads with how to live that way, if it was even anyone’s business. There was a long period of time where I thought, “I don’t have to come out; it’s not a big deal.” But then watching so many gay documentaries and seeing the pain and frustration and sadness — that there’s still not full equality — made me see why it’s important to come out, because it is important. You’re not dating anyone now, but do you see yourself getting married? Yeah, I want a family. I do. I know my parents support that. I think they’re a little unprepared for me to bring someone home. I didn’t know if it was something that would be a part of my reality, but I’m really happy. I don’t know how to meet that man as of yet, but I would like to. You’ve done some browsing on gay apps, presumably Grindr and Scruff. Are you on the apps often these days? I actually try to stay off the apps, but I have been on them before. Do you get recognized? When I was on them I didn’t ever have a face photo, but I currently have GROWLr because I like masculine, hairy guys — I guess we call them bears — so I have the app for that. But I’m not actively on it, so I don’t know if people are recognizing me or not. From what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like the Mormon Church had anything to say about your coming out. Right, no one said anything. Do you think the church lets you get away with more as a gay Mormon because you’re in the limelight? I think they’ve dealt with so much PR backlash and that I’m pretty inconsequential to that. I heard from a lot of members and I’ve heard a lot from local leaders and they’ve said it’s a
good thing that I did this, but there’s been no official stance. Do you think the Mormon Church will one day support gay marriage? I know that in recent years there’s a lot more acceptance. I really hate that the overall doctrine uses the word “tolerance,” because I hate that word, but I think it’s a step in the right direction. There are a lot of gay couples that actually live in my mom’s city who are also Mormon that go to church and hold callings, so that’s something you don’t see in the media. They’re actually actively able to serve; they’re not married, but they live together and they’re able to hold callings. But I don’t know, man. I would love that, of course. What would you tell a gay Mormon kid who’s experiencing the same struggle you once did? I actually have talked to a lot of them. I would hate to tell them “come out” only to find themselves in a situation where they’re kicked out of their homes, because that happens still, even in Utah. But I do remind people that it’s important to be themselves. I think that there’s a time and a place to come out, and I don’t know if waiting till I was 30 was the best thing, but it definitely has turned out fine and I’m a happy person. I’ve encouraged [kids] to just get a good support group and make sure they’re telling people that will support them. Then, when they have that support, eventually it becomes easier to tell the people who maybe aren’t as supportive. How has being an openly gay man influenced you on stage? Now that you’re not hiding, can you be yourself more than ever? Oh yeah. Man, it’s crazy. Just being able to say, “I think that guy is cute” around my friends — just normal things that people get to do — I get to do that now. Not having to lead a different identity every time I’m around a different person is really freeing and it’s made performing really effortless. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com
28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PET ISSUE
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
OUR PETS Our annual pet issue starts out with us and our pets.
Shortly after I lost my husband, my little special needs dog, Koko passed away. I felt as though there was no need to go on living. Then my beautiful FRIDA came into my life. She was found out on old Highway 91 in the desert, in July! She has been my soulmate and best buddy for three years now. Saved my life. —Kathy Munson
PANCHO CASTILLO is my little rescue chewie. He is the best present I’ve ever received. He came to me on Valentine’s Day and although the Valentine himself did not last - his gift of Pancho did. Pancho teaches me to be patient, kind, think of others and reminds me to laugh. Although some humans think that we “rescue” dogs from the pound (or what have you) it really is the other way around; they humble us and are the rescuers. I love my little Pancho and am grateful that someone was kind enough to give the gift of a rescue dog. Oh and Pancho loves “bitches.” Respectfully, Lee Castillo, MSW, SSW
ALEX and John Priegnitz This is CALLIE. I had named her after all, because of her beautiful Calico coat, and we have been together for 3 years. —Sophie Hawes
Here is a photo of THEO, the only thing I can say is that it’s impossible for a person to look at this photo and not smile! —Kevin Hansen
Here is KAISER, who has long since grown up. He was great in his kennel, but I wanted to make it better, and bought him a giant pillow for it. This was the guilty look that accompanied the pillow shards when I got home... —Misty Fowler
The day we adopted HUDSON, we were debating on a name. Suddenly, he sprints across the basement floor, leaps off of the recliner and clings to the bit of wall that sticks out in the basement. As he hung there, we knew he needed an appropriately silly name, and we named him after Hudson Hawk. —Davey Stevenson
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
· Overnight boarding · Daycare · Do it yourself wash · Professional Grooming · High quality webcams · Senior dog lounge
PET ISSUE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29
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our pets Dennis Rankin and BELLE, who won’t go to sleep until she has exhausted herself playing tug of war. She is viciously strong! By the time she is tired, it’s nap time for everybody.
ADORE, who adores Steven Lucero, coming home from the beauty shop
OSA hates pictures so I take them where I can get them! —Josef Roberts
Hello! Our names are MAGGIE and GEORGIE. We are 10-month-old Pomeranian Puppies who live with our two moms in West Valley City. We also have a brother named MORRIS. He’s a cat, but he thinks he is a dog. You see, when he was just two weeks old, a car hit his Kitty Mommy and sent her to heaven. So the humans took in Morris and his litter, and they nursed off my Pommy Mommy Zophie! Morris was raised by my Pommy Mommy and Aunties. He doesn’t know any better. My moms adopted Morris, then adopted us! We are a happy little family. We play together, sleep together — everything. We even have our own Facebook page: www. facebook.com/MaggieandGeorgie. Stop by and see us sometime!
This is our grandbaby, Malibu. She’s a Chug. —Ron Folsom and Blair Taylor
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august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
Double Date Ideas for Dog Lovers Are you looking for an afternoon or evening out that’s both fun and different? Try taking your best friend on a double date, says avid dog lover Kris Rotonda, CEO of www. YouMustLoveDogsDating.com. “If you really want to get to know someone you’re dating, then have them meet your cherished live-in companion, your dog – or, in my case, dogs,” says Rotonda, who runs a dating site for singles who love dogs. “Better yet, if your date has a dog, too, why not double date with your dogs?” says Rotonda’s girlfriend, Denise Fernandez. “It’s an effective, natural and unpretentious way of getting to know each other and the significant four-legged others in your life.” With so many potential romances starting online, that first face-to-face meeting can be even more nerve-wracking, Fernandez points out. Conversations have occurred; expectations have built. “Even though folks get to know about each other’s background, actually meeting for the first time can be kind of tough,” Rotonda says. “Bringing your dog is a great way to break the tension.”
At a loss for where to take a doggy double date? Rotonda offers three ideas with lots of potential for a good time. • Look up the nearest dog beach or park: Dog parks and beaches are full of interesting sights and smells, particularly if you’re a dog, and room for running and playing games. You and your date can toss Frisbees, take a leisurely stroll with your dogs, or just kick back for some entertaining dog-watching. • Dog-friendly bars and restaurants: More and more establishments are realizing the value of setting a place at the table for dogs. For those who aren’t yet dog lovers, a dog-friendly restaurant or bar is a familiar setting and neutral place. When Rotonda and Fernandez first got to know each other, Rotonda was shocked that his would-be girlfriend, having no previous experience with dogs, wasn’t a dog lover. Over time, however, Fernandez came to love Rotonda’s four dogs, which helped strengthen the couple’s bond. • Go shopping together. Pet stores are also dog-friendly zones; check out fun new products together, scope out the fish and birds available for sale, you may even get a little paw mani-pedi together! Q
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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PET ISSUE
10 Things Veterinary Professionals Want You to Know About Pet Care BY WENDY C. FRIES
It can
be difficult to stay on top of what’s best for your own health and well-being, so knowing what’s good for your pet may seem a little confusing. Keep your feline friends and canine companions healthy and happy by following these 10 pet care tips the pros want you to know.
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
Spaying and neutering doesn’t just cut down on the number of unwanted pets; it has other substantial benefits for your pet. Studies show it also lowers the risk of certain cancers, Burns tells WebMD, and reduces a pet’s risk of getting lost by decreasing the tendency to roam. 3. PREVENT PARASITES Fleas are the most common external parasite that can plague pets, and they can lead to irritated skin, hair loss, hot spots, and infection. Fleas can also introduce other parasites into your cat or dog. All it takes is for your pet to swallow one flea, and it can to end up with tapeworms, the most common internal parasite affecting dogs and cats. Luckily, Utah has very few areasa where flease survive. Many local veterinarians say not to worry about them. Talk to yours. Never give your cat dog flea medicine or vice-versa. 4. MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT Many dogs and cats in the U.S. are overweight or obese. And just like people, obesity in pets comes with health risks that include diabetes, arthritis, and cancer. Overfeeding is the leading cause of obesity, says Douglas, who adds that keeping our pets trim can add years to their lives. Pets need far fewer calories than most of us think — as little as 185-370 a day for a small, inactive dog; just 240-350 calories daily for a 10-pound cat.
Bob Henline’s dog, Bogie 1. REGULAR EXAMS ARE VITAL Just like you, your pet can get heart problems, develop arthritis, or have a toothache. The best way to prevent such problems or catch them early is to see your veterinarian every year. Regular exams are “the single most important way to keep pets healthy,” says Kara M. Burns, MS, Med, LVT, president of the Academy of Veterinary Nutrition Technicians. Annual vet visits should touch on nutrition and weight control, says Oregon veterinarian Marla J. McGeorge, DVM, as well as cover recommended vaccinations, parasite control, dental exam, and health screenings. 2. SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS Eight million to 10 million pets end up in U.S. shelters every year. Some are lost, some have been abandoned, and some are homeless. Here’s an easy way to avoid adding to that number — spay and neuter your cats and dogs. It’s a procedure that can be performed as early as six to eight weeks of age.
5. GET REGULAR VACCINATIONS For optimal health, pets need regular vaccinations against common ills, such as rabies, distemper, feline leukemia, and canine hepatitis. How often your dog or cat needs to be immunized depends on their age, lifestyle, health, and risks, says McGeorge, so talk to your vet about the vaccinations that make sense for your pet. 6. PROVIDE AN ENRICHED ENVIRONMENT An enriched environment is another key to the long-term health and welfare of your canine and feline friends. Pets need mental stimulation, say the pros, which may mean daily walks for your pooch, and scratching posts, window perches, and toys for your cat. It means play time with you, which not only keeps your pet’s muscles toned and boredom at bay, it also strengthens your bond with your four-footed companions. 7. ID MICROCHIP YOUR PET Lack of identification means as few as 14% of pets ever find their way home after getting lost. Fortunately, “microchipping allows for the pet to be reunited with its family,” no matter how far away it is when found, Burns says. About the size of a rice grain, a microchip
is inserted under the skin in less than a second. It needs no battery and can be scanned by a vet or an animal control officer in seconds. Be sure to register the chip ID with the chip’s maker. 8. PETS NEED DENTAL CARE, TOO Just like you, your pet can suffer from gum disease, tooth loss, and tooth pain. And just like you, regular brushing and oral cleanings help keep your pet’s teeth strong and healthy. “Dental disease is one of the most common preventable illnesses in pets,” Ohio veterinarian Vanessa Douglas tells WebMD, “yet many people never even look in their pet’s mouths.” It’s estimated 80% of dogs and 70% cats show signs of dental disease by age three, leading to abscesses, loose teeth, and chronic pain. In addition to regular dental cleanings by your vet, “periodontal disease can be avoided by proper dental care by owners,” Douglas says. Owner care includes brushing, oral rinses, and dental treats. Your vet is a good source of information about brushing techniques, oral rinses, and dental treats. 9. NEVER GIVE PETS PEOPLE MEDICATION Medicines made for humans can kill your pet. As a matter of fact, in 2010 the ASPCA listed human drugs in the top 10 pet toxins. NSAIDs like ibuprofen and naproxen are the most common pet poisoning culprits, but antidepressants, decongestants, muscle relaxants, and acetaminophen are just a few of the human drugs that pose health risks to pets. Human drugs can cause kidney damage, seizures, and cardiac arrest in a dog or cat. If you suspect your pet has consumed your medication — or anything toxic — call the 24-hour ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center. 10. PROPER RESTRAINT IN A VEHICLE You buckle up for safety when you’re in the car, shouldn’t your pet? Unrestrained pets in a car are a distraction to the driver, and can put driver and pet at risk for serious injury, “or worse,” says veterinarian Douglas. To keep pets safe in transit: Never allow pets to travel in the front seat, where they’re at risk of severe injury or death if the airbag deploys. Don’t let dogs ride with their head out the window or untethered in the back of a truck bed. Both practices put them at risk of being thrown from the vehicle in the event of an accident. To keep pets safe, confine cats to carriers, suggests Douglas, then secure the carrier with a seatbelt. For dogs, there’s the option of a special harness attached to a seat belt, or a well-secured kennel. Q
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Protect Pets In Utah Heat The recent heat related death of a dog on a hiking trail above Red Butte Gardens is a grim reminder for all pet owners of the caution that’s required as temperatures rise. The Humane Society of Utah is asking all pet owners to make sure their furry friends stay safe! Because dogs and other animals don’t sweat like humans, they
can suffer heat stroke far more easily, especially older dogs, puppies, kittens and animals with thicker coats/fur. Here are some signs to look for: • Loud, rapid panting • Rapid pulse • Glazed eyes • Extreme thirst • Excessive salivation and whining • Vomiting • Discoloration of gums The Humane Society of Utah is urging the public to keep in mind the following pet care tips
for hot weather: Never leave your pet in a parked car. On an 85 degree day, a car with the windows cracked open can reach an interior temperature of 102 degrees in 10 minutes, 120 degrees in 20 minutes ... which can lead to brain damage or death. Make sure your pet has fresh, clean, cool water at all times, whether they are indoors or outdoors. If the animal is left outside during the day make sure it has a well-ventilated, shady area to rest! Exercise your dog early in the morning or in the evening...not during the heat of the day. If you have to take a dog out during the hottest part of the day, avoid hot concrete or asphalt which can burn a dogs’ paws. Use sunscreen. Believe it or not your pet’s nose is extremely vulnerable to UV rays. Apply sunscreen to avoid sunburn! If a pet becomes over-heated, move the animal into the shade, apply cool water to the body, apply ice packs or cold towels, let the animal drink small amounts of cool water and get your pet to the vet right away. If you see an animal showing signs of heat stress, call your local animal control agency or police department immediately. Q Source: Utah Humane Society
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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PET ISSUE
Red was much more than a dog BY JOE YONAN
It’s been
four months, and yet if somebody asks me about that day, my voice will crack. By “that day,” I mean the day I came home from work to find my Doberman, Red, splayed out on my bedroom floor, his head to one side, his body lifeless but still warm. It’s an image I can’t seem to shake, as much as I try. I’m no stranger to death. I was a mess of anger and confusion when my father, suffering the aftermath of a stroke, took his last gasps one day in 1995, his children gathered around his hospital bed. And three years later, the death of my sweet, beloved sister Bonny after a withering battle with brain cancer was nothing short of heartbreaking. Yet somehow, and much to my distress, the death of my dog seems even harder. I haven’t felt grief quite like this since, well, the death of my previous dog five years ago. How could the death of a canine possibly hurt as much as that of a family member? As the sadness lingers, part of my grieving process has been to try to understand the differences. Researchers have long known that the animal-human bond is strong: A 1988 study in the Journal of Mental Health Counseling asked a group of dog owners to place symbols for their family members and pets in a circle representing each dog owner’s life. (The distance between the subject and the other symbols corresponds to the relative, real-life closeness of those relationships.) The subjects tended to put the dog closer than the average family member, and about as close as the closest family member; in 38 percent of the cases, the dog was closest of all. Research comparing grief over the death of pets to that over the death of friends and family members has come up with different answers. A 2002 article in the journal Society & Animals that reviewed multiple studies found that the death of a companion animal can be “just as devastating as the loss of a human significant other,” not quite as severe, “far more intense” or, well, just about the same. Sandra Barker, the director of the Center for Human-Animal Interaction at Virginia
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Commonwealth University, who co-authored the 1988 diagram study, counsels grieving pet owners and teaches veterinary students the importance of understanding the process. Studies aside, her own experience has taught her that the intensity and longevity of the grief vary widely. Like me, her clients sometimes begin the process with a sense of surprise and even shame that they’re grieving more for their pet than for a sibling or parent. “But when they realize that the difference is the pet gave them constant companionship, and there was total dependency, then they start to realize that’s why they’re grieving so intensely,” she said. REARRANGING MY LIFE It’s true that I spent so much time taking care of Red, and Gromit before him, that when each one died it didn’t merely leave a hole in my single-person household; it was as if someone had rearranged my life, excising without my permission many of the rituals that had governed it. Over the course of 13 years, for instance, the same thing would happen with Gromit every morning. I would sit on my bed to put on my shoes, and he would drape himself across my lap. I would scratch his butt and he would reward me with a big sloppy kiss. Recently, I did the math: Accounting for the times I was traveling without him, this interaction happened more than 4,000 times. So it makes sense that when he died, it was months before I could touch my shoelaces without expecting to also touch him. And I had no idea what to do with my mornings without my pooch to require that small gesture of me. About nine months after Gromit died, once I knew I didn’t want to replace him but just wanted to consider getting another dog, I signed up as an occasional foster parent at a no-kill shelter. My first assignment, Red, was a living, breathing refutation of the portrayal of Dobermans as vicious guard dogs in such movies as Hugo and the animated classic Up. The first time he ambled over to me when I was sitting on the couch in my apartment and lay his head across my lap so I could stroke his snout, I knew I’d adopt him. And for the two months I lived in that apartment after he died, the couch never
seemed so empty, nor the place so quiet. KEEPING IT SIMPLE My relationships with Red, Gromit and Consuela (the cat who has survived them both) have been, for lack of a better word, simple. Or at least simpler than that with my sister — but especially simpler than that with my father, with whom I had constant conflicts over religion and sexuality, and whose love and support seemed to always have strings attached. Barker echoes the idea that the unconditional, nonjudgmental love offered up by animals — “they’re just happy you’re there” — can make it especially hard to lose them. Were these losses more difficult because I was living alone? Some studies suggest that just as pets can ease loneliness, especially among single people, it can be harder for us when they’re gone. And then there is the suddenness factor. Former president Bill Clinton told Newsweek in 2002 that the death of his dog, Buddy, who was hit by a car, was “by far the worst thing” that Clinton had experienced after leaving the White House. Barker says that not having time to prepare for the pet’s death “usually makes it more intense” and that something like an accident can add a layer of traumatic stress, especially if the owner witnesses it. She might as well have been talking about me. Gromit’s battle with cancer at age 13 was short, but at least I spent the last few weeks of his life preparing for it. I held him when the vet put him down, and it was horrible, but I knew he was as comfortable as possible — and that having me there was part of his comfort. At age 7, Red had been otherwise healthy when he started wheezing one day last October. The vet thought he had allergies and advised me to return if he didn’t get better within a couple of weeks. Two weeks later, a chest X-ray showed a mild pneumonia, and the vet sent Red and me home with antibiotics that she hoped Red would respond to within a few days. I gave him a dose at about 1 p.m. and went to work; when I returned that evening, he was dead. ‘I’M SORRY’ It’s too painful to describe the extent of my immediate reaction, or really the reactions that unfolded over the following days, weeks and even months. But I will say that when Gromit was dying, I kept repeating the words, “Thank you.” In Red’s case, too late for him to hear, I kept repeating, “I’m sorry.” The fact that our pets are so dependent on us makes it all too easy to second-guess our decisions and descend into a pit of guilt. Shouldn’t I have known? Did I do everything I could? If I had just . . . what? Taken him to the vet sooner? Insisted he be hospitalized? What
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if I had been home? I might not have been able to save him, but at least in his last moments he would have known I was with him, and maybe that would have made it a little easier for him if not for me. In “The Year of Magical Thinking,” Joan Didion refers to grief as passive and mourning as active. Sure enough, when I talked to Kathy Reiter, who leads monthly pet-loss support groups, she eventually (in true therapist style) turned the conversation to my experience, asking what I’d done — actively — to help myself with this process. It occurred to me that I needed to sit around and cry a little less and to grieve, publicly, a little more. That’s easier said than done. A few weeks after Red died, some friends from the dog park suggested we have a get-together in his memory. I was grateful for the suggestion, but as I came in and exchanged hugs, I felt a bit sheepish when I pulled out the box of Red’s ashes and a recent photo and set them up on the table. Maybe it was my imagination, but I got the feeling that even friends who had gathered for just this purpose would rather say just a quick “I’m sorry; how are you doing?” than truly acknowledge the elephant — or the Doberman — in the room. It wasn’t until a couple of hours and several drinks later that we finally told a few stories about him.
MORE THAN JUST A DOG Thankfully, many of my closest friends, family members and co-workers have been wonderfully sympathetic, and for that I’m grateful. Others have seemed reluctant to talk about my grief, and I suspect that it’s because they’re trying to stay in denial about the prospect of losing their own animal or trying not to remember the death of a previous one. My least-favorite reaction comes from those who are aiming to be supportive but regularly ask me when I’m going to adopt another dog, a reaction that seems tantamount to saying, “Get over it already. He was just a dog. Isn’t one as good as another?” That can lead to what psychologists refer to as disenfranchised grief. “Simply stated, many people (including pet owners) feel that grief over the death of a pet is not worthy of as much acknowledgment as the death of a person,” researchers wrote in a 2003 article in the journal Professional Psychology: Research and Practice. “Unfortunately, this tends to inhibit people from grieving fully when a pet dies.” Two months after Red died, I’ve had a change of scenery, moving to my sister Rebekah’s home to work on book projects for a year. Here, my sister and brother-in-law’s gregarious chocolate Lab, Maya, helps keep me company and reminds me that eventually,
probably sometime next year, I’ll be ready to adopt again. Meanwhile, Red’s ashes sit in a beautiful carved wooden box on a shelf in my bedroom, right in front of a beautiful drawing that a colleague’s son made for me after Red died. Those artifacts have helped, but I’ve needed something more. My sources for this article noticed the answer before I did: I’m a writer, and I need to process my grief by writing, so that’s what I’m doing. Reiter admitted that her own work helping others who have lost animals was partly as a tribute to her cat, Prince, who died at the ripe old age of 23, but also as a way to validate and work through her own grief. By writing about Red, she said, “you are doing what I did: It’s self-serving, but it’s a tribute, and it’s a catharsis for you. You want to capture the memories, so you don’t forget.” There’s one more task ahead of me. Five years ago I buried Gromit’s ashes in the woods outside Rebekah’s house, along with his collar, a note, a photo of us together and one of his favorite things: a bagel. The headstone says, “Thank you.” Red’s box, meanwhile, went up on the shelf when I got here in January, partly because the ground was frozen solid. The days are getting longer, though. The ground has thawed. I’ve been looking at headstones and, more important, composing the words that will go on Red’s. Q
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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PET ISSUE
Ten Tips on Coping with Pet Loss BY MOIRA ANDERSON ALLEN, M.ED.
Anyone
who considers a pet a beloved friend, companion or family member knows the intense pain that accompanies the loss of that friend. Following are some tips on coping with that grief and with difficult decisions one faces upon the loss of a pet. 1. AM I CRAZY TO HURT SO MUCH? Intense grief over the loss of a pet is normal and natural. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s silly, crazy, or overly sentimental to grieve. During the years you spent with your pet (even if they were few), it became a significant and constant part of your life. It was a source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy. So don’t be surprised if you feel devastated by the loss of such a relationship. 2. WHAT CAN I EXPECT TO FEEL? Different people experience grief in different ways. Besides your sorrow and loss, you may also experience the following emotions: GUILT may occur if you feel responsible for your pet’s deaththe “if only I had been more careful” syndrome. It is pointless and often erroneous to burden yourself with guilt for the accident or illness that claimed your pet’s life, and only makes it more difficult to resolve your grief. DENIAL makes it difficult to accept that your pet is really gone. It’s hard to imagine that your pet won’t greet you when you come home, or that it doesn’t need its evening meal.
ANGER may be directed at the illness that killed your pet, the driver of the speeding car, the veterinarian who “failed” to save its life. Sometimes it is justified, but when carried to extremes, it distracts you from the important task of resolving your grief. DEPRESSION is a natural consequence of grief, but can leave you powerless to cope with your feelings. Extreme depression robs you of motivation and energy, causing you to dwell upon your sorrow. 3. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT MY FEELINGS? The most important step you can take is to be honest about your feelings. Don’t deny your pain, or your feelings of anger and guilt. Only by examining and coming to terms with your feelings can you begin to work through them. Locking away grief doesn’t make it go away. Express it. Cry, scream, pound the floor, talk it out. Do what helps you the most. Don’t try to avoid grief by not thinking about your pet; instead, reminisce about the good times. This will help you understand what your pet’s loss actually means to you. 4. WHO CAN I TALK TO? If your family or friends love pets, they’ll understand what you’re going through. Don’t hide your feelings in a misguided effort to appear strong and calm. Working through your feelings with another person is one of the best ways to put them in perspective and find ways to handle them. Find someone you can talk to about how much the pet meant to you and how much you miss it-someone you feel comfortable crying and grieving with. If you don’t have family or friends who understand, or if you need more help, ask your veterinarian or humane association to recommend a pet loss counselor or support group. 5. WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO EUTHANIZE A PET? Your veterinarian is the best judge of your pet’s physical condition; however, you are the best judge of the quality of your pet’s daily life. If a pet has a good appetite, responds to attention,
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seeks its owner’s company, and participates in play or family life, many owners feel that this is not the time. However, if a pet is in constant pain, undergoing difficult and stressful treatments that aren’t helping greatly, unresponsive to affection, unaware of its surroundings, and uninterested in life, a caring pet owner will probably choose to end the beloved companion’s suffering. 6. SHOULD I STAY DURING EUTHANASIA? Many feel this is the ultimate gesture of love and comfort you can offer your pet. Some feel relief and comfort themselves by staying: They were able to see that their pet passed peacefully and without pain, and that it was truly gone. However, this can be traumatic, and you must ask yourself honestly whether you will be able to handle it. Uncontrolled emotions and tears-though natural-are likely to upset your pet. 7. WHAT DO I DO NEXT? When a pet dies, you must choose how to handle the remains. Sometimes, in the midst of grief, it may seem easiest to leave the pet at the clinic for disposal. If you prefer a more formal option, several are available. Home burial is a popular choice, if you have sufficient property for it. It is economical and enables you to design your own funeral ceremony at little cost. However, city regulations usually prohibit pet burials, and this is not a good choice for renters or people who move frequently. To many, a pet cemetery provides a sense of dignity, security, and permanence. Owners appreciate the serene surroundings and care of the gravesite. Cremation is a less expensive option that allows you to handle your pet’s remains in a variety of ways: bury them (even in the city), scatter them in a favorite location, place them in a columbarium, or even keep them with you in a decorative urn (of which a wide variety are available). 8. WHAT SHOULD I TELL MY CHILDREN? You are the best judge of how much information your children
can handle about death and the loss of their pet. Don’t underestimate them, however. You may find that, by being honest with them about your pet’s loss, you may be able to address some fears and misperceptions they have about death. 9. WILL MY OTHER PETS GRIEVE? Pets observe every change in a household, and are bound to notice the absence of a companion. Pets often form strong attachments to one another, and the survivor of such a pair may seem to grieve for its companion. Cats grieve for dogs, and dogs for cats. You may need to give your surviving pets a lot of extra attention and love to help them through this period. The love of your surviving pets can be wonderfully healing for your own grief. 10. SHOULD I GET A NEW PET RIGHT AWAY? Generally, the answer is no. One needs time to work through grief and loss before attempting to build a relationship with a new pet. If your emotions are still in turmoil, you may resent a new pet for trying to “take the place” of the old-for what you really want is your old pet back. When you do get a new pet, avoid getting a “lookalike” pet, which makes comparisons all the more likely. Don’t expect your new pet to be “just like” the one you lost, but allow it to develop its own personality. Never give a new pet the same name or nickname as the old. Avoid the temptation to compare the new pet to the old one: It can be hard to remember that your beloved companion also caused a few problems when it was young. A new pet should be acquired because you are ready to move forward and build a new relationship-rather than looking backward and mourning your loss. When you are ready, select an animal with whom you can build another long, loving relationship-because this is what having a pet is all about. Q Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. is the author of “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet.”
PET ISSUE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
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august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
Laverne Cox becomes first trans* Emmy nominee in history “Orange is the New Black” star Laverne Cox, who will be in Utah twice in the next few months, made history with her Emmy nomination this morning for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series. With the nomination, Cox becomes the first transgender person to be nominated for an acting award. Also, she had received the Stephen F. Kolzak Award at the 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards this year. Cox will be the keynote speaker at both the Equality Utah’s Allies dinner on September 26 and the University of Utah Pride Week, Oct. 6–10. The Emmy Awards will air Aug. 25. The Netflix original series, “OITNB,” was submitted as a comedy and goes up against PUZZLE SOLUTIONS
“Modern Family,” which has won the award for four consecutive years. “OITNB” garnered 12 nominations, making it a serious contender in the Comedy Series category. Cox is up against five other nominees: Joan Cusak (“Shameless”), Tina Fey (“Saturday Night Live”), Melissa McCarthy (“Saturday Night Live”), and “OITNB” “guest” cast members Uzo Aduba and Natasha Lyonne. The Emmy-nominee list this year is one of the most LGBTinclusive, with Matt Bomer, Joe Mantello and Jim Parsons being nominated for their work in HBO’s “The Normal Heart,” and out comedian Kate McKinnon for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her work on “Saturday Night Live.”
Cryptogram: I STILL WON’T LET SOMEONE HERE ON EARTH DEFINE MY FAITH OR MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND MY BELIEFS. 3 8 5 9 1 4 2 6 7
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40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
Opera in the Summer at Utah Festival Opera TWO REVIEWS OF THIS YEAR’S FESTIVAL
The Student Prince BY ROGER COX
The last
time I was in the Ellen Eccles Theatre in Logan, UT, I was on stage, singing something churchy in the Mormon Youth Symphony and Chorus. This time, I got to enter the theatre through the front door and enjoy one of the other great things about opera — the opera house. This grand, restored, neoclassical beauty tantalizes visually as you enter. Oak leaves and acorns, the phoenix, Zeus, the Muse, rams bearing garlands, and grape vines draw your consciousness away from the cares of the day and gently coax you through the acanthus-framed proscenium into the charming world of Dorothy Donnelly’s “The Student Prince.” The young prince Karl Franz, who has lived something of a sheltered and pampered life in a palace, must eventually succumb to an arranged marriage with Princess Margaret (a cousin of the prince) who has lived an even more sheltered life in a convent. Before that can happen however, Karl Franz must sew a few wild oats with the “frat” boys, fall in love with someone else, break her heart, lose both his mentor and his father, wrestle with notions of honor and duty, and reconcile with everyone in the end. See? Charming. While my socks were being charmed off, this production struck me with a feeling of watching a Broadway musical rather than an opera. The vibe from the beginning was almost Disney-esque, with an exuberant cast and a plot that occasionally sent Simba tumbling through my mind; except this story was not nearly as scary as having to face Scar, unless of course, mandatory
marriage to your opposite-sex cousin gives you a jolt. The opening motif of the overture bounded majestically with a melody worthy of a Superman movie. From there it modified through a couple of waltzes and readied us for the opening scene at the palace with four stalwart and bored palace guards singing rigidly like the columns around them. Enter the prince. Andrew Bidlack plays Prince Karl Franz. His unassuming interpretation is likable, and his prominent jaw adds character to those cello-like tones from his throat. His duets with mentor Dr. Engel, played by Richard Zuch, stole the show. Their voices blended like chocolate and peanut butter,
truly sumptuous. Bidlack’s delivery of dialogue lacks finesse and at times feels something like the pulsing parodies of Captain Kirk, albeit much less dramatic. His love interest, Kathie, played by Emma-Grace Dunbar, fares much better in overall acting, as does also Vanessa Ballam as Princess Margaret. Both seemed comfortable in their roles and delivered glorious and full-bodied vocalizations. Interwoven with the main characters were Lutz, the prince’s valet, and the Duchuss of Saxony, Margaret’s mother, pleasantly relieving us comically (Kevin Nakatani, Vanessa Schukis). Nakatani’s oddly perched hair and persnickety-ness summoned laughter from the audience →
8 Hands 2 Pianos BY ROGER COX
The name of this concert belies the actual number of hands pummeling the keys. Six pianists took turns during most of the concert, making fun of Mozart, Beethoven, and Grieg. Of the many concerts I’ve sung in or attended over the past 25 years, this is the first that reminded me of counting clowns exiting a Volkswagon. In this case it was 12 pianists (yes 12) leaving the business end of a grand piano after playing a twelve person, one piano ending to a “Moonlight” Sonata / Boogie Woogie medley that required lariats and cowboy hats. This one ain’t for classical die hards, but if you’ve ever spent an afternoon watching videos of Victor Borga, then this one’s for you. Michael Bunchman, Stephen L. Carey, K. Bruce Ford, Dallas K. Heaton, Rebecca Pacheco, and Kajsa Maria Wilkins are the culprits responsible for the sobbing, lamenting, and leg-kicking interpretation of the first movement of Beethoven’s “Moonlight.” I thank them heartily for not doing that overplayed tune straight! If only
they had gone on and done the rest of the sonata, I would have been ecstatic. Maybe next year, guys? Dallas K. Keaton played one of my favorite pieces, Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King.” The rest of the gang grabbed puppets and pretended they were as capable as the cast of “Avenue Q.” Not! The audience loved it nevertheless. My favorite duet of the matinee was “A Medley of Waltzes Made Famous in Disney Films,” arranged by Greg Anderson, performed by K. Bruce Ford and Michael Bunchman. Ford and Bunchman delivered strong, decisive attacks, and Anderson’s arrangement reminded me of Ferrante and Teicher. At one point, Ford reached into the cabinet and strummed the strings with his finger. Rebecca Pacheco wins in the category of best solo performance. She played “Concert Paraphrase on Rigoletto” arranged also by Greg Anderson. Pacheco purposefully addressed the keys with controlled phrasing and passion. Q
MUSIC | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
hear me out as he walked on stage. My desire to hear his character sing a solo was left unfulfilled. The Duchess stood monumentally and her stately stuffiness was interruptedly only temporarily by Lutz’s silly titillations. All the players walked about on a set filled with color. “The Inn of the Three Golden Apples” burst with hues of green, blue, brown, purple and an array of similarly-colored flowers and garlands adequately disbursed throughout the quaint college hangout. A chorus of women wore costumes that seemed to extend the flowers beyond their boxes. While generally engaging, the women only occasionally interrupted their musical lines in sections where they sang all the high notes forte. I came away from The Student Prince charmed as much by the Ellen Eccles Theatre as by the production itself. A gracious Michael Ballam, Utah Festival Opera founder, explained to me that the theatre was within 48 hours of being lost forever when he convinced its owner to donate the building and the city to accept the gift. Getting the city to accept was the real challenge. He pointed out that in today’s money, $88 million dollars would be required to construct the building with its intricate detail. The acanthus leaf that borders the stage represents prosperity, he says. That motif is fitting in this 22nd season of the Utah Festival Opera and as the theatre reaches its 90th birthday. Q More info on the Utah Festival Opera is available at UtahFestival.org. Operas and musical theatre offerings this year are: LES MISÉRABLES, THE STUDENT PRINCE, VANESSA, and OKLAHOMA!
Lana Del Rey, Ultraviolence The feigned public image adapted by Lizzie Grant (better known as Lana Del Rey) extends to the singer’s latest album, Ultraviolence, where her divisive commentaries on greed, danger and dying complement her made-up mystique. To like Lana’s music is to like Lana, which is especially true when it comes to her languid, third full-length released under the “Lana Del Rey” moniker. Fleshing out the persona introduced on 2012’s Born to Die (and then later on her EP, where we learned she has a carbonated vagina, or something), Rey’s follow-up feels like a hallucinatory acid trip – it could levitate you to the sky on its feathery sound pillows. Lulling you are bittersweet, nostalgic songs like “Old Money” and “Pretty When You Cry,” where Rey, resembling a sad, woozy bird, sings over guitar. In keeping with the dangerously-in-love muse she’s been drawing from, Ultraviolence reels in the sonic boom of the less-cohesive Born to Die; its intent, even more so than its predeces-
sor, seems to be to conjure a linear mood, and it does this by illustrating, quite brazenly, the tragic effigy of disillusioned women ruined emotionally, and even physically, by men. From the title track’s abusive retelling (“He hit me and it felt like a kiss”) to Nina Simone’s wistful “The Other Woman,” Rey goes darker than she did on Born to Die, making Ultraviolence not just fascinating, complex and uncomfortable, but also bold and beautifully tragic. Grade: B+
Sam Smith, In the Lonely Hour On “Stay with Me,” British song-slayer Sam Smith politely asks a prospective boyfriend to do just that. It’s suitably vulnerable and full of feels, the case throughout his chart-topping debut, but staying – at least through his first album – is easier said than done. And it’s obviously not his sweet tenor – that particular tone is capable of expressing emotions previously unknown to man. The promise of that passionately resonant croon goes unfulfilled on In the Lonely Hour, where the blandness of the music and
even the writing – it’s all a little too black and white – can’t quite live up to his brilliant voice. Taken in full, the lethargic, ballad-bloated production on Smith’s first venture keeps his heart-onsleeve outpourings from making the impression they should. The gospel-powered “Stay with Me” is, by far, the album’s standout – a tour de force, even. Smith has revealed that In the Lonely Hour is a reflection of unrequited love, and here, particularly, you sense that. It’s real; it’s wrenching. And the choir coming in at the chorus? It’s the kind of lift the rest of this sonic snooze needs. Opening with the refreshingly spry “Money on the Mind,” the sameness of the album’s minimalism falls into a monotonous loop of lovelorn misery, where every contemplative moment hardly differs from the one preceding it. By the time Smith gets to “Lay Me Down,” you’re longing for something as much as he is – in this case, a better album. Grade: C+ Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.
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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK
food & drink
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
EGGS IN THE CITY 1675 E 1300 S 801-581-0809 Breakfast or lunch in a friendly, warm and hip environment. The converted garage is now a stylish, enticing eatery. Try the eggs Benedict, French toast, custom-tailored omelets, huevos rancheros or cheese blintzes for breakfast.
FINN’S CAFE 1624 S 1100 E 801-467-4000 Family owned and operated for 62 years, Finn’s Cafe has been a large part of Utah’s fine dining heritage, specializing in both Norwegian and traditional dishes for breakfast and lunch. Full barista bar, fresh squeezed juices, and in-house bakery.
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OFF TRAX offtraxslc.com 259 W 900 S 801-364-4307 Home of the Happy Hangover. Breakfast, lunch. Sunday brunch and weekend after-hours. Gay-owned and operated. Next to Club Try-Angles.
OMAR’S RAWTOPIA omarsrawtopia.com 2148 S Highland Dr 801-486-0332 Omar prepares all raw, live and organic food from scratch with absolute love to create amazing food that is powerfully healing for your mind, body, and spirit.
SAGE’S CAFE 234 W 900 S 801-322-3790 Your favorite vegetarian restaurant is moving to Ninth South with a slough of other owner-operated, locally owned restaurants. Watch for their reopening in December.
SQUATTERS PUB BREWERY squatters.com 147 W 300 S 801-363-2739 Salt Lake’s original brew pub featuring awardwinning fresh brewed beers, lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. Private banquet facilities available.
SQUATTERS ROADHOUSE GRILL & PUB www.squatters.com 1900 Park Ave, Park City 435-649-9868 Park City’s brewpub features breakfast, lunch and dinner daily and is a full liquor licensee, serving both Squatters and Wasatch Beers.
VERTICAL DINER 2280 S West Temple 801-484-8378 Vegan diner serving downhome comfort food and breakfast all day. Specialties include fried faux chicken, blueberry pancakes, and hand cut french fries. Also serving fair trade coffee, tea, chocolate, and more.
WASATCH BREW PUB wasatchbeers.com 250 Main, Park City 435-645-0900 At the top of Main Street and a local favorite since 1989, Wasatch Brew Pub serves lunch, dinner and weekend brunch, along with award winning beers and full liquor service. Private banquet facilities available.
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august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER:
Politician
SNEER EASY
____ _____
cryptogram A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED BY CS. THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: C=I
Theme: Tyer Glenn
C PUCSS NDZ’U SKU PDHKDZK OKMK DZ KQMUO BKWCZK HL WQCUO DM HL MKSQUCDZPOCX NCUO TDB QZB HL AKSCKWP. _ _____ ___’_ ___ _______ ____ __ _____ ______ __ _____ __ __ ____________ ____ ___ ___ __ _______ PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 35
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45
46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
q scopes
BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
ARIES March 20–April 19 A hasty reaction could result from a frustrating experience. Don’t deviate from a friendship over a few spilled lemons. Brush off the dirt and let things proceed normally. Your home life benefits from showing gratitude toward those around you. Demonstrate pleasure. TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 A redundant routine is starting to wear you down, Taurus. A little change will spice things up a lot. A daft co-worker is bound to create panic so avoid speaking with this person as much as possible. A void will be filled when a much desired activity stuffs you with joy.
Words to Live Bi
48 Go back to homophobic views, e.g. ACROSS 51 Rocky Horror’s ___ 1 Bea sitcom Raff 6 Aid’s partner 53 Worshiping Caleb 10 Mardi ___ Johnson, perhaps? 14 Had title to 56 A.D. part 15 Festive fete 60 End of the disad16 C&W gay fave vantage McEntire 62 Andrew Van de 17 Start of the disadCamp, for one vantage of being 63 First name in stunts bisexual, per Bernard 64 Hamilton Burger to Manning Perry Mason, usually 20 Soft seat 65 Alan of And the Band 21 Area of Amelia Played On Earhart 66 Opening for cheap 22 Uncle Sam’s mail 67 Make noise in bed org. DOWN 24 Linked with 1 Crowds at the Stone25 Barbra’s Funny Girl wall riots guy 2 ___ bit (slightly) 28 Bird over P’town 3 Body of soldiers 31 Causeless Dean 4 Old people may take character them out for a blow 33 Playground retort job 34 Article for Frida 37 Light, woody mate- 5 Rims 6 Hawk-chicken difrial ference 38 More of the disad7 Like California, in vantage Mexico 39 Gone with the Wind 8 How far up it goes guy (abbr.) 41 Porky’s place 42 E.M. Forster’s Where 9 Annals author-historian Angels Fear to ___ 44 Guy with three ho’s? 10 Fairy-tale daughter 11 Took advantage of a 45 Earphones 47 1966 Joe Orton play decorator
12 Monks’ head 13 Decline 18 Muscle Mary stat 19 Suit makers 23 Like drag queen nylons of old 25 Heavenly balls 26 Sexual partners, crudely 27 With skill 29 Calculation for carpet layers 30 It may be reassigned 32 Toward the side 34 Host before Fallon 35 Comics dog that goes either way? 36 9 inches, e.g. 40 One butt cheek? 43 Shook up 45 Montana’s capital 46 Like half of the Odd Couple 48 Gay rodeo accessory 49 Ford lemon that was not fruitful 50 Promised 52 Birdcage dwellers 54 Sitarist Shankar 55 North Sea feeder 57 Britney Spears’ “___ Curious” 58 Not e’en once 59 Opening noted at the office 61 Short-order sandwich for porkers? ANSWERS ON PAGE 35
GEMINI May 21–June 20 The time for critical thinking has come. Act on instinct regarding a friend with a hidden agenda. The result of their actions could be to your benefit if you seize the opportunity. Don’t lose heart by the loss of a bad seed; nothing good can spawn from such a thing.
LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 As you struggle to find your footing, a partner or friend will be there to help. You can stand on your own but will find more enjoyment with added stability. A child or endearing elder will show encouragement in a cause. Accept the praise and let your spirits rise. SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 You tend to see more than is really there. This can be both a blessing and a curse this month, as your intuition guides you into uncharted territory. Whether this excites you or turns you off depends solely on your perspective. If you must dominate, do so gently. SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22– December 20. A long period of solitude is just what you need right now. Put socializing on the backburner and take time off from work or obligations. Family drama has boiled over and a cool-down period is in order. You can clean up the mess when all has subsided, so relax.
CANCER June 21–July 22 This could be a tiresome period as you prepare for serious obligations. Self-doubt and questions by others will have you feeling a little unsure of what you are trying to achieve. Praise will come from a trusted mentor or idol. Repay them with kindness and gratitude.
CAPRICORN Dec 21– Jan 19 Rock out and get a little wild. It’s a grand time for having a bunch of friend over for a gathering, or intense one-on-one time with someone close to you. Whatever the case, the focus should be on having fun. Get creative and share your excitement with everyone.
LEO July 23–August 22 Threats seem to come from many different sources, but don’t get aggravated. Most of them are harmless and not what they appear to be. Slide into a defensive position but don’t get stuck. An open minded associate has your best interest at heart, but take guidance cautiously.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 A foe has made an error in judgment and the time to act has come. It is up to you whether compassion is warranted. Learn something about yourself in dealing with a difficult personal matter. Your heart will guide you in ways your head cannot. Stay focused.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 A tragedy in a friend or loved ones life will put you in a position of providing comfort to others. Taking on this task will not be an easy, but will be strangely satisfying. A versatile dynamic will lead to unexplored possibilities. A new self-image could emerge as a result.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Clarity is something you’ve always valued, and it will serve you well this month. Work with someone close to find the answers to an old question. The answers sought are right under your nose, slapping you in the face. A career path could veer drastically this month. Q
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august 2014 | issue 234
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CLEANING4U LOVE READING RESIDENTIAL • COMMERCIAL Archie to Take a Bullet For Gay Friend manner that epitomizes not only the best of Riverdale but the best of all of us. It’s what Archie has come to represent over the past almost 75 years.” Archie takes a literal bullet for his best friend, who is also gay, and also is a war veteran. Coming from a comic strip that launched in 1941, the change in cultural norms from start to finish is astounding. Goldwater added, “Archie is not a superhero like all the rest of the comic book character. He’s human. He’s a person. Q
News of the death of Archie Andrews of Archie Comics fame was announced in April, but no one knew how he would die until now. The character, who’s been around for 73 years, will die taking a bullet for his gay best friend, Kevin Keller, in a progressive and outspoken move on the creator’s part. Publisher and coCEO Jon Goldwater says, “The way in which Archie dies is everything that you would expect of Archie. He dies heroically. He dies selflessly. He dies in the
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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.
Q doku Hard
5 4 7
3
6 4 9 3 2 4 8 2
7 2 8 1 5 9 2 6 5 1 9 4 1 3 7
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
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5
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1 4 2 5 6 7 9 3 6
9
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OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
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50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
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Memoirs of an unsuccessful lesbian BY KARMA JUNE WAYMAN
Me, 1989:
I crashed and burned. I was inspired to throw caution to the winds, squash my fastidiously nurtured ego and obliterate my whole outlook on reality, all for the happiness that might come in slim possibilities. She inspired all this and I’m ashamed. I only met her a few weeks ago when I went out on a date with her brother. The three of us went to a movie and out to dinner at the Rio Grande Café. I liked her right away. She was funny, charming and intelligent. She had very expressive blue-green eyes that stood out. I can even say I think she’s beautiful because I’m a sensitive writer and I’ll use interesting, confident and natural looking as modifiers. I kept going out with her brother just so I could see her again. Now, I don’t talk to her brother at all. It’s not because I don’t like him. It’s because he might know, so I avoid him. He’ll probably look at me like a dog looks at his master when he burps. I’ll gesture, “Shoo, go away! That was nothing, so pay no attention.” Will she say anything to anyone? She doesn’t keep secrets about herself, so I doubt she’ll keep secrets about me. She’s not ashamed about anything. “When there’s something I want, I take it!” she said. “Sometimes I crash and burn. I’ve crashed and burned many times, but I chalk these up to experience. Everyone must crash and burn.” She’s a very good example of what inflection and emphasis can do for something meaningless because I went for it. I believed. I truly thought that it was essential to my emotional growth that I crash and burn. I told her that I never act on impulses. I’ve spent most of my life deriving my emotional needs from fantasies. I create too many expectations from reality and I’m self-conscious because I always have ulterior motives. I’m afraid people will catch on that I’m trying to milk one of my expectations out of them. “You must abandon expectation,” she said. “When you have no expectations, you become amazed at all the subtle things you discover. There are so many subtle discoveries when one abandons thought!” That’s it, I thought. I must finally disregard the safety of my fantasies and my romances without the ramifications, in an attempt to woo a woman in real life. There’s a first time for everything. I sent her a dozen white roses with tainted
pink edges. If she were interested in the way that I hoped, it would have been cute. It all just seems incredibly corny to me now. I enclosed a note that said, “To Hell with the subtle discoveries when one abandons thought. I love thinking about you! Darling, I’ll crash and burn for you!” I received roses last week from some old fart with high expectations and I didn’t appreciate it either. It costs money, pride and a friend to enhance my emotional growth. Emotional growth seems like some sort of fungus to me now.
Me, 2014:
To finish the story, the woman to whom I sent those flowers finally called me and said she wanted to meet me in a hotel room so we can have our first lesbian experience together. I enthusiastically checked into a room at The University Park Hotel and waited, but she never showed. I got really drunk and woke up with a horrendous hangover, only to find out a truck ran over her while biking through City Creek Canyon earlier that day. She wore a back brace for several months and became increasingly moody on pain medication. I internalized it all as being about me, of course, and we parted ways. I was temporarily heartbroken and started journaling Memoirs of an Unsuccessful Lesbian as a coping mechanism. What does it even mean to be a successful lesbian, anyway? I used to think if I could just find a girlfriend, my life would be complete with a butt-load of inspirational motivation to pursue my happy destiny. However, those girlfriends eventually found me and I became an alcoholic instead. The highs and lows of love tackled me with insecurities. I needed to numb my overwhelming emotions and fears. The alcohol helped until it didn’t anymore. It was a BandAid that eventually needed to be ripped off revealing a festering, ugly wound. A successful lesbian relationship offered me a home, a garden and a daily routine. In an effort to be convenient and lovable, I essentially became a doormat. I didn’t really know what I wanted anymore, so I drank to give myself some kind of reward. Slowly, codependence whittled away at me from the inside out until I was a shell of who I used to be. I ended up discarded and checked into rehab as a sad, empty container of a person. I was like Glad Disposable Tupperware. Looking back on my memoirs, I can only conclude that any lesbian who flaunts her relationship as a tangible trophy of success is an idiot. Infatuations or romances are never an affirmation of who we are; they are just who we love at the moment. Q Gay Writes Community Writing Club is sponsored by Salt Lake Community College and meets the 2nd and 4th Mondays at 6:30 p..m, SLCC Community Writing Center, 210 East 400 S, Suite 8.
HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
Q health Navigating the Affordable Care Act and HIV BY LYNN BELTRAN
The past year has brought about a great deal of change in health care reform, particularly in the form of new legislation referred to as the Affordable Care Act. Since this legislation is controversial and uncharted ground, I think it is safe to say that even more change is imminent. There are specific aspects of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) that are still unraveling and health care networks are still responding to many unknowns, but like it or not, the ACA is here to stay. What is important in my office is to recognize the impact that this new legislation has had on how HIV-positive individuals are able to access health care and medications. More important is that anyone who is potentially affected by HIV should seek to be informed about how the ACA will affect their care. As Utah and the HIV community prepared for pending changes these past few years, agencies such as the Utah AIDS Foundation and Clinic 1A at the University of Utah took the lead in understanding and navigating change brought about by the ACA in order to ensure a continuum of care for patients. The Utah AIDS Foundation created a new program that would allow them to staff multiple health exchange navigators, whose sole function was to help HIV patients find a health care plan that would best meet their needs. Case managers at Clinic 1A are functioning in a similar manner and both agencies have spent a great deal of time strategizing with each other and with insurance liaisons to understand the laws and the system and identifying plans that would best suit the needs of HIV patients. The upside is that HIV positive individuals are being enrolled in comprehensive health care plans as opposed to being enrolled in a program for HIV related health care only. This
means that patients will have coverage for all health issues, not just their HIV-related health issues. For many years, more than 50 percent of HIV-positive men and women living in Salt Lake County were relying on the federally funded Ryan White Program to pay for their HIV health care. In addition, patients have also been enrolled in a federally funded drug assistance program to help pay for HIV medication. Although these programs have been invaluable to HIV patients who were uninsured, they were limited in that they only covered health care costs and medications related to HIV. This year, caseworkers are already experiencing problems with patients accessing the medications they prefer and/ or have been taking for years. The current law under the ACA, states that the plans have to ensure access to the medications but they do not specify that they have to be the newest generation combination antiretrovirals. As a result, many plans are only agreeing to cover the less expensive and older medications that have to be taken separately. The HIV community is continuing to recognize that there will be new challenges ahead as more things change. There are patients already who are falling into the “Medicaid gap” which means that they make too much money to qualify for Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. The “medicaid gap” was a projected problem among many states as the ACA was being implemented, and in order to avoid it, Medicaid expansion monies were offered to states, however Utah declined the funding. An additional concern for Health Exchange Navigators and case managers, is the future of Ryan White funding. Federally funded programs such as Ryan White are expected to receive more cuts moving forward, or may even be phased out alto-
gether due to the ACA. Currently, case managers are using Ryan White monies to pay for the initial deductibles for patients health care plans, so that the HIV patient incurs little to no expense for their care. Deductibles per patient are roughly $3500 and this year Ryan White monies have been used to cover many existing HIV patients, but case workers don’t know what to expect for next year. If this funding is cut or if it goes away altogether, HIV patients will be expected to contribute to the cost of their plans through copays, deductibles and monthly payments. Lastly, Health Exchange Navigators expect that patients will have to look for new plans every year to ensure the best coverage and to find plans that best meet their needs. This will require going into the exchange yearly, finding the best plan, and learning how to navigate a new health care system every year. At the least this will lead to frustrations, and quite possibly will challenge
a successful continuum of care. When asked by patients about the ACA, I always go back to the intent of the legislation. It is intended to ensure access to health care for everyone, in the most affordable and reasonable manner possible. Many positive changes have occurred as a result of the ACA. People with pre-existing conditions such as HIV cannot be turned away due to that pre-existing condition, nor can they be expected to pay more for a plan due to that condition. And, as I already pointed out, patients are getting enrolled in comprehensive plans that cover all of their health needs, not just their HIV-related health needs. There is, however, an expectation that everyone will need to pay something for their health care, based upon their individual or family income and therefore these costs should be reasonable and affordable to everyone. Q Lynn Beltran is the Epidemiology Supervisor at SL Valley Health Dept.
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54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD
gaysaltlake.com | issue 234 | august 2014
the perils of petunia pap smear
The tale of full-moon Lagoon BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR
The road to Lagoon is fraught with danger and excitement. I just love QSaltLake Day at Lagoon! I really enjoy hearing all the queens squealing like little girls on the roller coasters. But mostly I like it because the spandex quotient in Lagoon-A-Beach swells to inspirational proportions. I want to bear my testimony that a scene of Speedo-clad, tanned and toned gym-bunnies can be exceedingly inspirational! Lycra Spandex must indeed be the Celestial fabric because there are very few times when I come closer to God than when I encounter a buff hunk sporting a bulging Speedo. Clingy-ness is next to Godliness! Several years ago, on QSaltLake Day, my visit to LagoonA-Beach was a mixed bag of pleasure, pain and embarrassment. Out of consideration for public safety, the Speedo company does not make swimwear that sufficiently encompasses a “gravity-enhanced” queen. Therefore, I opted to wear some baggy bloomers and a T-shirt to cover the royal body, lest I dazzle the other swimmers with my untanned, lily-white brilliance. Actually, I truly believed that in direct sunlight I might burst into flame, and anyone who witnessed the spectacle would turn into a pillar of salt. Imagine my mortification when I was informed by the impudent little (but still very cute) teenage lifeguard, barely older than my last perm, that I was not allowed to wear the T-shirt on the slides. Little did
the lifeguard realize that it was only his beauty that spared his life. I desired to float down the rapids on one of those festive yellow floating tubes. The ever so adorable life guard again narrowly avoided death when he informed me that I may not lay, tummy down, across the tube; I must sit on top of the tube with my ass nestled firmly in the hole. Due to the fact that I have had my spine fused over the course of three surgeries, (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) I was not able to bend my body enough to get my “abundant” ass down in the hole. Consequently, the resulting vessel was very top heavy and upon launching, it quickly performed an imitation of the USS Poseidon and capsized. The resulting tsunami swept several “well-packed Speedos” prematurely down the slide. Doing my best Shelly Winters impersonation, I re-surfaced spitting out chlorinated water like a cobra spits venom. I firmly informed the lifeguard that since I had a back fusion, (I had to show him the scars) I must mount the tube by lying across it on my stomach. To my great dismay, without a girdle to secure the goods, my substantial tummy fit perfectly, filling the hole in the middle of the tube, just like jelly in a donut. Thus the “USS Petunia” was launched. This time the ride began very pleasantly. However, on the second waterfall, the swirling action of the waves caught the waistband of my bloomers and, swoosh-bang-boom, I felt the shorts begin to slide down.
Before I knew it, they were down around my ankles, and since I was going “commando” underneath, it unveiled the royal buttocks. Fortunately, I accessed that portion of DNA that humans share with monkeys and I was able to barely cling onto the shorts with my toes. Usually I enjoy the occasional “Free Willy” skinnydipping experience, however, this time I panicked because I was about to pass under the pedestrian bridge loaded with dozens of other swimmers, some of them were even “civilians” with children, waiting in line. Frantically, half blinded by the splashing water, I tried unsuccessfully to restore the shorts to their proper place, stretching with my Lee Press On Nails to their utmost limit, all the while trying desperately to stay afloat while crashing into other riders. Relentlessly my tube kept floating closer and closer to the bridge, eventually presenting a “full moon” of blindingly white blubber to the horrified onlookers. Oh the humanity! This was worse than the Hindenburg disaster. I shall always be tortured in my nightmares by the horrified screams. I heard someone cry out that the Ross Ice Shelf must have broken away from Antarctica. A child cried, “Look Mommy, it’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.” One of the “well-packed Speedo’s (who I had intended to begin stalking) exclaimed that Moby Dick, the great white whale, was attacking. Several others were afflicted with snow blindness. Oh, the indignity! On the lookout for har-
poons, I continued down the two remaining rapids to the bottom of the slide before I could re-group and cover my “assets.” I was hoping that “Mr. Moby Dick” would rescue me by planting a flag in my “South Pole” region and claim it for Queen and Country. After pulling my shorts back up, in an effort to salvage a modicum of dignity after such an overexposure, I decided to treat this incident just like any other queen would: Pretend that it never happened. Clutching the yellow tube in front of me as a shield, I emerged from the water, ignoring the wide-eyed, slack-jawed onlookers, and marched steadfastly back to the top of the slide. Thank goodness denial isn’t just that river in Egypt. Like always these events leave us with several eternal questions: 1. Is my love of Spandex the reason Spiderman is my favorite superhero? 2. If I dyed my girdle pink, could I wear that as swimwear? 3. Would tattooing a “tramp stamp” pointing the way to my “Polar Region” improve my sex life? 4. Could an erection have prevented the loss of the shorts? 5. Do I ever stand a chance with “Mr. Moby Dick ?” 6. Should Lagoon re-enact this experience for Frightmares? These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.
august 2014 | issue 234 | gaysaltlake.com
mr. manners
HOTNESS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 55
WARNING HOT GUYS!
Bi the way BY BROCK KANNAN
Dear Mr. Manners, I am a man that loves both sexes. Women arouse me and so do men, but there seems to be a stigma in the gay community with liking both sexes. I have been dating but I never make it to a third date because they don’t like the fact that I’m bi. What can I do? Innocent BI-Stander
BI-STANDER, It sounds to me that you are being treated as having a classic case of wanting to “have your
cake and eat it too.” There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding bisexuality. People often say that bisexual people are greedy and should simply pick one gender and stick with it. Others say that bisexuals cannot be trusted and will always be unfaithful in relationships due to needing to get physical with someone of another gender. I think that’s all rubbish, and I do not agree with those opinions at all. From my experience, the stigma tends to follow anyone who struggles with making decisions of the heart. If you want to make it to the third date, I suggest that you decide what it is you really want in a partner. Much like buying
a home, you need to decide which features are negotiable (do you prefer a man or a woman — internal or external plumbing) and then you need to stay within your price point (the features that define you). Sexual preference may not be the only thing keeping you from a third date — the problem may just be YOU! What type of man are you? A handsome man steals your eyes, a funny man steals your laughs, a smart man steals your brain, and a gentleman steals your heart. Make an effort to steal them all and be the man you were meant to be. Focusing on who you are will attract whom you need to be with. Some may say, “bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” However, the greatest piece of advice I can give you is that when you meet the person you want to truly be with, your decision will not be difficult. It’s good to remind ourselves that, “life is a story that is all twisted and turned and all that matters is the lessons we learn.” In my opinion, when someone expresses any bisexual stigma, it stems from ultimately being afraid that you will hurt them. Change your focus from dating everyone to finding someone and all the pieces should fall into place. Q
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