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gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

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several days, after the whirlwind of events and writing, to actually repond to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on samesex marriage. OH MY HELL, in my lifetime the highest court of the land has said that same-sex couples have a CONSTITUTIONAL right to marry. But it’s more than that. It’s the fact that a majority of Americans, and a majority of Utahns, believe that same-sex couples SHOULD have that right. It’s that a majority of Americans and a majority of UTAHNS believe that LGBT people should have protections in the workplace and in housing. It’s that many of my friends from all ilks, including my brother and sister-in-law, have placed rainbow FB profile photos. It’s the fact that my mother placed a message on her wall celebrating the SCOTUS decision. It’s the fact that the White House, Niagara Falls, Empire State Building and Cinderella’s Castle at Disney Land were awash in rainbow-colored lights last night. It’s the fact that the Salt Lake City Mayor was at a celebration last night. It’s that there are LGBT people as some of the most prominent characters in some of the most popular shows. “Never in my lifetime,” I said. I was ready for the long haul and I and we — my many friends and cohorts — kept going. I remember a time when we had to argue with gay bar patrons that “rocking the boat” was, indeed, necessary. I remember a time when we had to climb on tables and shut down a Utah Democratic convention to get our issues into the platform. I remember a time when we were told we were too loud and oneissue minded, while at the same time we were working on (and

leading) police vs. racial minority issues and gender equality issues and disability/accessibility issues and campaigns for Latino and Black candidates. I remember a time when a campus newspaper wouldn’t print a lesbian valentine and the editors came to school in plaid golf pants when we jokingly asked for people to wear jeans to support gay and lesbian rights. In all this, though, I remember that there were always allies from outside our community. Their numbers grew over the decades, and helped us — in a huge way — get to this day. I attribute this to me, my friends and fellow activists, my ever-growing list of ally friends, my family, to Will and Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Orange is the New Black. To the editorial council of the Salt Lake Tribune and Ogden Standard-Examiner and Daily Utah Herald. To the political cartoonists and columnists. To the same-sex couples and leaders across this country who dared sue for this right. To the guy at the bar in a small town who shut down an anti-gay conversation. To the gay choirs and arts groups who showed a difference in this world. And to you, for taking the time to read this. This is, indeed, a happy birthday. It is also a day to look back with pride on what has been accomplished. And to dust off and continue the work that still needs to be done. I say this in the name of Ruth Bader-Ginsburg and Harvey Milk and David Sharpton and José Sarria and Coretta Scott King and Rosa Parks and Gilbert Baker and Cleve Jones and Troy Perry and Richard Alvin Ragnar McCall and in the name of every mother and father who supported them. Q

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

STAFF | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

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U.S. Supreme Court declares same-sex marriage a Constitutional right The Supreme Court ruled by the narrowest margin on June 26 that same-sex couples across the nation have an equal right to marry. The 5–4 decision was based firmly on the Constitution, and thus could be undone only by a formal amendment to the basic document, or a change of mind by a future Supreme Court. Neither is predictable. The Court declared that two clauses in the Fourteenth Amendment mean that a “fundamental right to marry” can no longer be denied because the partners are of the same sex. It did not create a new right, but opened a long-existing one to those partners. The ruling was the most important victory in a cultural revolution that began almost exactly 46 years ago, when patrons of a gay bar — the Stonewall Inn in New York City’s Greenwich Village — fought back against a police raid. The events that began on the night of June 28, 1969, are widely known as the beginning of “gay pride” and an unapologetic campaign for equality.

Boy Scouts of America allows gay adult leaders, provides church exception The 17-member executive committee of the Boy Scouts of America unanimously approved a resolution that would end the organization’s blanket ban on gay adult leaders and let individual Scout units set their own policy on the long-divisive issue. Units sponsored by churches opposed to the change could maintain the ban if they choose. The decision is expected to be ratified by the organization’s 80-member National Executive Board at a meeting on July 27. The committee action follows an emphatic speech in May by the organization’s president, former Defense Secretary Robert Gates, declaring that the long-standing ban on participation by openly gay adults was no longer sustainable. He and other BSA leaders said the ban was likely to be the target of lawsuits that the Scouts were apt to lose. In 2013, after bitter internal debate, the BSA decided to allow openly gay youth as scouts, but not gay adults as leaders.

Antigay Bakers Set Crowdfunding Record The owners of Sweet Cakes by Melissa in Oregon, ordered to pay damages of $185,00

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.) for denying service to a lesbian couple, have raised over $388,000 online through a faithbased crowdfunding site. Two years ago, Christian bakers Aaron and Melissa Klein, the owners of the bakeshop “Sweet Cakes by Melissa,” did not agree to bake a wedding cake for lesbians Laurel and Rachel Bowman-Cryer, saying doing so would violate their faith. Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries spokesman Charlie Burr said in a statement that, although Oregon law provides an exemption for religious institutions, it “does not allow private businesses to discriminate based on sexual orientation, just as they cannot legally deny service based on race, sex, age, disability or religion.” Ultra-conservatives are decrying the penalty as “fascist” and forcing religious people to violate their conscience.

Caitlyn Jenner accepts Arthur Ashe award for courage Caitlyn Jenner offered a heartfelt and emotional speech on July 15 at the 2015 ESPY awards. The former athlete and reality TV star received a standing ovation after being honored with the Arthur Ashe award for courage. “Well the real truth is that before just a few months ago I had never met anybody else who was trans, who was like me,” said Jenner. “I had never met a trans person, never. Now, as you just saw, I dealt with my situation on my own, in private and that turned this journey into an already incredible education. It’s been eye opening, inspiring but also frightening. All across this country right now, all across the world at this very moment, there are young people coming to terms with being transgender. They’re learning that

they’re different and they’re trying to figure out how to handle that.” Jenner, who earned a Gold medal for a record-breaking win in the decathlon at the 1976 Olympic games, said she’s dedicated to helping raise awareness regarding challenges in the transgender community.

Michigan Methodist minister fired for being gay A Michigan minister who saved a congregation from insolvency was fired from his job of 2½ years because he is a gay man and planned to marry his partner. The Rev. Benjamin Hutchison had been pastor of Cassopolis United Methodist Church since January 2013. He said his relationship was well-known to the congregation, and he even legally changed his last name to his partner’s shortly after his hiring. He realized the relationship might be problematic for the denomination, as the Methodist church does not consider, as its Book of Discipline puts it, “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” to be suitable ministers. Members of his congregation protested the firing, but to no avail. Hutchison married his partner, Monty, the following Saturday surrounded by 30 ministers and 100 guests in support.

Federal ‘License to Discriminate’ bill gathers steam After uproar over so-called license to discriminate bills in several states, congressional Republicans, including Utah Sen. Mike Lee, are getting both support and condemnation for their effort to enact a national version. The House version of the First Amendment Defense Act, sponsored by Rep. Raúl Labrador of Idaho, would protect individuals and institutions from government penalties for acting “in accordance with a religious belief or moral conviction” against same-sex marriage. It now has now up to 134 cosponsors. The Senate version, sponsored by Sen. Mike Lee of Utah, has 34 cosponsors, which amounts to nearly two-thirds of Republican members. The penalties the legislation refers to include denial of tax exemptions, federal contracts, and licenses to churches and religiously affiliated nonprofits, such as schools, hospitals, and social service agencies — but also for-profit businesses that cite such a belief. Its supporters contend it merely protects religious freedom, but opponents say its scope is far too broad.

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Utah reacts to Supreme Court decision for same-sex marriage BY MICHAEL AARON

Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender leaders held a standing-room-only press conference this morning in response to the United States Supreme Court’s decision that states must accept same-sex marriage and must honor such marriages performed in other states. Utah Pride Center Board of Directors President KENT FROGLEY started off with, “Love wins,” and quipped that he put two packets of Equal in his coffee this morning. TROY WILLIAMS, executive director of Equality Utah said, “Today we have become a more perfect union,” comparing the ruling with others where freedom moved forward through Court decisions. Utah State Senator JIM DABAKIS extended his arms in victory, echoing sentiments of it being a huge victory. He quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. who said, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” “Today we have achieved justice,” Dabakis concluded. Human Rights Campaign board member and philanthropist BRUCE BASTIAN said he never thought he would see this day come. He thanked the press for “helping spread oiur joy.” Not everyone in Utah, however, is happy with the Court’s decision. Utah Governor GARY HERBERT says marriage should have been decided by the states through legislation. “Marriage, as defined by the people of Utah, has been redefined, first by the federal courts and today the outcome of that decision has been upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court. I am disappointed with the decision by the court to usurp state authority and overrule the voice of the people of Utah as demonstrated by legislation with regard to marriage,” Herbert wrote. “I am also very concerned with the overwhelming trend to diminish state autonomy. I believe states should have the right to determine their own laws regarding marriage. Clearly, the majority of the justices disagree and their decision pro-

Hundreds celebrated in downtown Salt Lake the night the decision was made public. PHOTO: MIKE JONES vides finality with respect to the law.” WILLIAM DUNCAN of the ultraconservative Sutherland Institute also expressed his dismay. “For millennia, marriage has been recognized in virtually all known human societies as the union of a husband and wife,” he wrote. “Marriage, even when children were not possible for the couple, powerfully demonstrated the equal contributions of men and women to a family.” “The U.S. Supreme Court has now said this understanding of marriage is prohibited by the majority’s interpretation of the Constitution. That is clearly wrong,” he wrote. “With the Supreme Court’s decision, we also have to grapple with a much newer challenge — protecting the ability of those who still recognize the value of the old wisdom about marriage to speak freely about their beliefs and associate with others who do so as well, without having their livelihoods threatened.” The Utah Eagle Forum sent a statement, titled “SCOTUS destroys American culture!” “Five unelected people in black robes have overturned the decision of more than tens of millions of Americans who voted to uphold the true definition of marriage, which is the union of a man and a woman,” GAYLE RUZICKA, president of Utah Eagle Forum, said. “However, just because five men and women decided to change the law, it does not change God’s law. His law is immutable.” The CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS said it will continue to teach that marriage is between a man and a woman.

“The court’s decision does not alter the Lord’s doctrine that marriage is a union between a man and a woman ordained by God. While showing respect for those who think differently, the church will continue to teach and promote marriage between a man and a woman as a central part of our doctrine and practice,” according to a statement. In contrast, the LDS Democrats Caucus leaders were thrilled with the decision. “As members of our communities and the LDS Church and as lovers of families, we are thrilled that the Supreme Court has upheld same-sex marriage rights for the entire country,” said CRYSTAL YOUNGOTTERSTROM, spokeswoman for the caucus. “This is right. It’s right for equality. It’s right for love. It’s right for tolerance and acceptance. Today we are one step closer towards realizing our founders’ vision of ‘all men are created equal.’” The CATHOLIC DIOCESE of Salt Lake City re-released a statement from 2014. “As Catholics, we seek to uphold our traditional belief in marriage as a sacrament, a well established and divinely revealed covenant between one man and one woman, a permanent and exclusive bond meant to provide a nurturing environment for children and the fundamental building block to a just society,” they wrote in a statement. Williams enumerated a number of issues that still must be addressed in the coming years. “While we were able to achieve this victory in the courts, we still have work to do to achieve it in the hearts and minds of Utahns,” he said. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

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Mormon Church makes financial donation to Utah Pride Center homeless youth program

Federal judge orders state of Utah to list same-sex couple names on birth certificate of baby U.S. District Judge Dee Benson ordered the state of Utah to list the names of a lesbian couple as mothers on a birth certificate for their new baby. The ACLU of Utah and the American Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit in April 2015 to force the State Office of Vital Records and Statistics to recognize plaintiffs Angie and Kami Roe as parents to their daughter, Lucy. Arguments were heard today and ACLU lawyers said the ruling is the first of its kind since gay marriage was legalized. “The state has failed to show any legitimate reason, actually any reason at all, for not treating a female spouse in a same-sex marriage the same as a male spouse in an oppositesex marriage with regard to be recognized as the legal parent” when the child has been conceived with donated sperm, Benson said. The Roes, who live in West Jordan and were married Dec. 20 — the day Judge Robert Shelby declared Utah’s ban on same-sex married unconstitu-

tional, said in their lawsuit that the state should treat wedded same-sex couples the same as heterosexual couples who use sperm donors to have children. State attorneys argued that Utah law law recognizes the “biological and gendered roles” of fathers and mothers, and that a child can only have one biological mother and one biological father. “It is a biological impossibility for a woman who does not give birth to a child to establish paternity of a child through the act of birth. Therefore, the presumption of paternity is meaningless when applied to a same-sex female couple,” the state’s attorneys argued. The judge said that, in light of the U.S. Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage as a constitutional right, Utah laws that distinguish between heterosexual and same-sex marriage are null and void. “I don’t think it’s a hard case,” Benson said. “The laws that now stand are not applicable to the marriage of Angela and Kami Roe.” Q

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gave a “first-ever” charitable donation to the Utah Pride Center to help with a drop-in program to help homeless and low-income youth. Center leaders announced the donation in a press release. Sources say the amount was $2,500. “The donation was made in response to a request by the Utah Pride Center for perishable food items to supplement a program put in place and staffed by community volunteers that feed homeless youth. The Utah Pride Center asked the church for a small amount, because that was what was needed. And it was a beginning, a step,” UPC board president Kent Frogley wrote in a statement. “The church responded, first with ‘Are you sure you don’t need more?’ and then ‘We’d be happy to help.’” The church has donated

food to AIDS service organizations in California and locally for decades. “Dick [Dotson] worked with the LDS Church through the AIDS Project Los Angeles foodbank way in the 80’s,” said Don Steward. “He joked about how no one in LA knew what Supermarket Chain made ‘Deseret’ brand food.” When Steward and Dotson started an AIDS hospice, Horizon House, and the Camp Pinecliff weekend for HIV-affected people, the LDS Church’s Welfare Square was and is still generous in its donation. “They provide the milk, eggs, fruit, butter, sour cream, cheese, bread, spaghetti and so on that make the camp affordable to PWAs, their family members, and their supporters,” Steward said. “Pinecliff never would have lasted if it wasn’t for the Church’s support.” Q

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

Boyd K. Packer remembered for anti-gay, racist sermons While the Associated Press reports that many at the funeral of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Quorum of the Twelve President Boyd K. Packer remembered him for his “wit and humor,” others, especially in the LGBT community, remember him as one who spoke frequently against gays and lesbians, even going so far as to suggest a missionary should physically assault a fellow gay companion. Packer was appointed to the Quorum of the Twelve in April, 1970 and has since spoken on interracial marriage, homosexuality and abortion in ways more conservative than his fellow Quorum members.

TO YOUNG MEN ONLY — BORN THAT WAY “There is a falsehood that some are born with an attraction to their own kind, with nothing they can do about it. They are just ‘that way’ and can only yield to those desires. That is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life. From our premoral life we were directed into a physical body. There is no mismatching of bodies and spirits. Boys are to become men ‑‑ masculine, manly men ‑‑ ultimately to become husbands and fathers. No one is predestined to a perverted use of these powers.”

TO YOUNG MEN ONLY — MASTURBATION Packer, in a 976 General Conference speech entitled “To Young Men Only” warned against masturbation. “There is; however, something you should not do. Sometimes a young man does not understand. Perhaps he is encouraged by unwise or unworthy companions to tamper with that factory. He might fondle himself and open that release valve. This you shouldn’t do, for if you do that, the little factory will speed up. You will then be tempted again and again to release it. You can quickly be subjected to a habit, one that is not worthy, one that will leave you feeling depressed and feeling guilty. Resist that temptation. Do not be guilty of tampering or playing with this sacred power of creation. Keep it in reserve for the time when it can be righteously employed.”

INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE In 1977, Packer gave a talk at LDS Churchowned Brigham Young University counseling members to marry only their own race: “We’ve always counseled in the Church for our Mexican members to marry Mexicans, our Japanese members to marry Japanese, our Caucasians to marry Caucasians, our Polynesian members to marry Polynesians. The counsel has been wise. You may say again, ‘Well, I know of exceptions.’ I do, too, and they’ve been very successful marriages. I know some of them. You might even say, ‘I can show you local Church leaders or perhaps even general leaders who have married out of their race.’ I say, ‘Yes — exceptions.’ Then I would remind you of that Relief Society woman’s near-scriptural statement, ‘We’d like to follow the rule first, and then we’ll take care of the exceptions.’”

TO YOUNG MEN ONLY — GAY PANIC Packer, in that same address, gave permission to young Mormon men to assault a gay man who might be interested in them. “There are some men who entice young men to join them in these immoral acts. If you are ever approached to participate in anything like that, it is time to vigorously resist ... While I was in a mission on one occasion, a missionary said he had something to confess. ... ‘I hit my companion,’ [he said.] After learning [that his companion was gay], my response was ‘Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn’t have been well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way.’ I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself.”

HOMOSEXUALS, FEMINISTS AND INTELLECTUALS In 1993, Packer stated in a talk to the AllChurch Coordinating Council that the three greatest threats to the church were homosexuals, feminists and intellectuals. “The dangers I speak of come from the gay-lesbian movement, the feminist movement (both of which are relatively new), and the ever-present challenge from the so-called scholars or intellectuals.” HOMOSEXUALITY AS A CHOICE In General Conference, October 2010, Packer again stated that homosexuals were sinners, saying that nobody is born gay and that those who are gay are choosing a sinful lifestyle. The version spoken and transcribed in conference stated:

“We teach the standard of moral conduct that will protect us from Satan’s many substitutes and counterfeits for marriage. We must understand that any persuasion to enter into any relationship that is not in harmony with the principles of the gospel must be wrong. From The Book of Mormon we learn that wickedness never was happiness. Some suppose that they were pre-set, and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and unnatural. Not so. Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember, he is our Father. “Paul promised, ‘God will not suffer you to be tempted above what ye are able, but will, with the temptation, also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.’ “You can if you will, break the habits, and conquer the addiction, and come away from that which is not worthy of any member of the Church. As Alma cautioned, we must watch and pray continually. Isaiah warned of them that call evil good and good evil. That put darkness for light and light for darkness. That put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” The text version on LDS.org today dials back some of the choice verbiage, but not all. THREE DANGEROUS LIFE-STYLES In general conference, October 1990, Packer said that even anyone sympathetic to LGBT people would “bring sorrow” to their family. “My message is to you who are tempted either to promote, to enter, or to remain in a life-style which violates your covenants

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and will one day bring sorrow to you and to those who love you. “Growing numbers of people now campaign to make spiritually dangerous life-styles legal and socially acceptable. Among them are abortion, the gay-lesbian movement, and drug addiction. They are debated in forums and seminars, in classes, in conversations, in conventions, and in courts all over the world. The social and political aspects of them are in the press every day. “Some challenge us to show where the scriptures specifically forbid abortion or a gay-lesbian or drug-centered life-style.

‘If they are so wrong,’ they ask, ‘why don’t the scriptures tell us so in letter-of-the-law plainness?’ These issues are not ignored in the revelations. The scriptures are generally positive rather than negative in their themes, and it is a mistake to assume that anything not specifically prohibited in the letter-of-the-law is somehow approved of the Lord. All the Lord approves is not detailed in the scriptures, neither is all that is forbidden. The Word of Wisdom, for instance, makes no specific warning against taking arsenic. Surely we don’t need a revelation to tell us that!

The hate crime that wasn’t

Rick Jones of Delta ‘acknowledges responsibility’ Rick Jones and his family released a statement on the GoFundMe campaign set up to raise money to help with costs incurred after an alleged attacker carved “Die Fag” into his arms, knocked him unconscious and forced him to drink bleach. Graffiti in the family’s house and business and a Molotov cocktail thrown into his bedroom window was also reported. “Rick and his family are grateful for the expressions of support, but cannot accept this generosity. All donations are being returned to the donors. Rick and his family are cooperating fully with the law enforcement investigation and are appreciative of Millard County and the State of Utah for their approach in this case.” Attorney Paul Burke, who is representing Rick Jones, says his client has “acknowledged his responsibility for what has happened.” “This was a cry for help,” Burke said. Jones told the attorney that he staged his attacks, the graffiti and the Molotov cocktail. The attorneys asked the Millard County Sheriff’s Department to terminate the investigation of the incidents. “We should all be impressed and heartened by the response from the governor on down in support of what looked like a crime of hate. The lieutenant governor and county law officials were all sensitive to the needs of this young man and the rest of the community,” Burke said. “Young LGBT people and others in small communities should feel heartened that their government and citizens will rally around them in a time of need,” Burke con-

tinued. “We need to understand that it is still difficult in our state, especially in rural areas, to get acceptance for our sexual orientation from our churches and our families.” Burke, of the Utah law firm Ray Quinney & Nebeker, offered to assist Rick when this story first went public. Burke said he doesn’t see this as a hoax. He sees it more as a genuine cry for help. “This was a 911 call that was misdirected, but real,” he said. What Rick and the family did not know, was how the story would spread so far and wide. It became overwhelming. “He’s a troubled young man that has gone through a lot in his life,” attorney Brett Tolman said. “He’s a 21-year-old gay man living in Delta, Utah. In a very conservative community, in a conservative family, who love him very much but may have some issues to work through.” Millard County Sheriff. Robert A. Dekker said that the department put a lot of time and long hours into the case, and he is “grateful to our community, and our nation as a whole, for their support of this family.” “Don’t let that end,” he said. “They still need support.” Terry Gillman, who spearheaded a caravan to the Delta, Utah restaurant owned by the Jones family, said he is proud of the community’s support. “I’ve previously worked with gay youth at risk. When someone sounds the cry for help, we all need to answer the call,” he said. “I am proud of the support this community showed and I’m extremely proud of the people who helped put the event in Delta together so quickly. I see no reason to shame or further subject this wonderful family to further persecution. I would hope and pray they grow from this experience

TOLERANCE OF GAYS General Conference, April 2013: “Tolerance is a virtue, but like all virtues, when exaggerated, it transforms itself into a vice. We need to be careful of the ‘tolerance trap’ so that we are not swallowed up in it. The permissiveness afforded by the weakening of the laws of the land to tolerate legalized acts of immorality does not reduce the serious spiritual consequence that is the result of the violation of God’s law of chastity. I repeat, very plainly, physical mischief with another man is forbidden. It is forbidden by the Lord.” Q

together. We accomplished something great here no matter the outcome. We mobilized to help, and will continue to do so when anyone in our State needs help. We are one Utah, and hate will not stand here.” Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox, who went to Delta twice and offered state support of the sheriff’s efforts, stated: “I am both relieved and saddened by the news today. The original allegations were incredibly troubling, and not representative of the love and compassion the people of Utah exhibit daily. I am proud of the overwhelmingly positive response and support from Delta and every corner of our state. Today, our concern is that the young man and his family receive the love and help necessary to find the peace and healing they seek.” Jim Struve, leader of the LGBTQ Affirmative Therapists Guild of Utah, warned that such recants of assaults can be false. “This happens with some degree of frequency when a victim recants their accusations after investigators find some aspect of their life history or behavior that they threaten to expose — so recanting the accusations and having the case dropped seems easier to tolerate than proceeding with the stressors and trauma of a full blown investigation,” Struve said. Struve said that, if the report of an assault was false, it can be the result of “minority stress,” where a person feels isolated and alone for being different. “Someone who is living as a gay person (openly or secretly) in a community like Delta, in a state like Utah, would be a likely candidate for long-term impacts of minority stress. This dynamic frequently creates the circumstances of ‘internalized homophobia,’” he explained. All GoFundMe money has been returned and Millard County prosecutors have not said whether they will file charges against Jones. Q

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QSaltLake holds LGBT forum for Salt Lake Council, Mayoral candidates Hundreds of people joined the first QSaltLake candidate forum on LGBT issues at the Salt Lake City Library auditorium July 13. All candidates running in the primary election for Salt Lake City Mayor and City Council District 4. Four of those candidates are either gay or lesbian, as Jackie Biskupski and Dave Jones seek the mayorship and Babs De Lay and Derek Kitchen vie for the city council seat. The candidates were asked a total of five questions each by moderator Michael Aaron, publisher of QSaltLake Magazine. Their responses, edited for length, are below:

Salt Lake City Council District 4 Candidates PUBLIC ACCOMMODATIONS PROTECTIONS While controversial across the country, protections for LGBT people in public accommodations is an important step to full equality. These protections are being fought by the religious right, saying they limit their religious liberties. Allowing a same-sex couple, for example, to be denied a hotel room or a trans* person from shopping for clothes of their gender is unacceptable. What is your plan to gain protections for LGBT people in public accommodations? JEN COLBY: I would focus on three main approaches: updating city policy, practice, and regulation wherever needed; advocating and PHOTO: TRAVIS BURROUGHS

championing protections and equal treatment outside city borders – through Council of Governments, the County, and State; and working with partners in the business community to emphasize values of inclusiveness as not only the right thing to do but good for business. BABS DE LAY: I’m currently serving on a committee with the Jewish Family Services to help protect transpeople through the “I’LL GO WITH YOU” campaign. No one should have to feel unsafe using a restroom or other gendered space that conforms to their gender identity. Our pledge, the pledge of that those of us with passing privilege offer to be a bathroom buddy, a watch-yourback person, a stand-up-for-you. “I will have your back. I will be your witness.” I am gender fluid, and I definitely don’t present as female. Our home is known as a welcome space for transmen traveling through the country to find safe harbor. DEREK KITCHEN: Salt Lake City was definitely the leader in what led to SB297 in the last legislative session and public accommodations are the last prong to nondiscrimination ordinances. That was unfortunately left out of our own bill. Now that we do have nondiscrimination laws at the state level, it’s time for Salt Lake City to step up and add public accommodation protection for LGBT citizens. To get there, I think we need to engage the same partners that we engaged several years ago, including the business community, the LDS Church.

MILES PETTY: Though I would not consider myself a member of the religious right, I am a Latter-day Saint. At least I’m trying to be. There are certain things that I don’t do — I don’t drink alcohol, for example. Someone else drinking alcohol does not interfere with my religious liberty to decide whether I will or will not drink. Denying a hotel room or refusing to sell clothes to someone who is LGBT does not advance religious liberty. There should be some protections that allow business owners to practice their religion: they should not be forced to open on their Sabbath or sell products against their religious code. Denying public accommodation, however, should not be protected. Conversely, we should pursue protection for all people — including LGBT people — in public accommodation. In addition, there should be an LGBT advocate in city government. If (hopefully “if” rather than “when”) ever anyone is mistreated or denied service for being LGBT, they could go to the advocate at city hall, who could take up action with the problem business owner. NATE SALAZAR: Public accommodations is something I’m very passionate about. It’s been a number one platform issue for me. These things are really simple. We can’t kick people out of a restaurant because they are Latino or because they’re black. We provide specific accommodations for people who have disabilities. These are accommodations that are constitutional. This is 14th amendment stuff. And there’s no reason why we

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can’t have these accommodations reflect our values as a city and include LGBT folks, especially our trans* community. As city council members, we have an obligation to set priorities for the year. This is one of my six priorities I will set when I’m elected.

NONDISCRIMINATION POLICIES OF CITY CONTRACTORS The city contracts with many companies to provide services. As the city provides equal protections and benefits for its LGBT employees, are you willing to require that companies the city contracts with to also provide those protections and benefits for its LGBT employees? BABS DE LAY: I’d say before the city looks to others to play by the rules, the city itself needs to take a fine-toothed comb and go through all its rules and regulations and do a word search for discrimination, marriage status, sex, gender and the like to make sure our own rules of operation for the city are in order before we point fingers at others. DEREK KITCHEN: To be honest, I thought Salt Lake City already required this out of the contractors it uses. But we, as a city, need to step up with our buying power and really lead by encouraging companies to offer not only protections, but sensitivity training, and other forms of best practices that they can implement within their companies to create a safe space for people who are gay, lesbian, trans* or bisexual. MILES PETTY: Yes. Any company that contracts with the city should have the same protections for its employees regardless of sexual orientation. NATE SALAZAR: Currently the city does not have a requirement that make sure contractors have the same level of standard in how they treat their LGBT employees and we need to fix that. It is important to have the city do business with companies that share our values as a city and to respect the values that are written into our city ordinances. JEN COLBY: Yes. Contract bid and contract language should make this explicit and ask bidders to affirm their policies for protections of LGBT employees. We should work to see that the Utah Legislature will also support the city position rather than try to undermine it, as happened with a prior attempt to require living wages for contractor workers.

cant buildings not only give the area an unsafe feel, but, indeed do contribute to increased crime in the area. What are your hopes and plans to fix this problem? DEREK KITCHEN: Development is coming to that district. I think it is up to the city council and smart developers to make sure that the kind of development is productive . We may want to consider some kind of design standards that really courage high quality development. For so long the LGBT community found refuge on the outskirts of town and you see this with the gay bars that are still over there. Those are areas we have gone to find community and support and I think, as a city as we brace for development, it’s important that we do what we can to mark this area of the city as having historic significance, so that we can celebrate and honor the heritage of Salt Lake’s LGBT ancestors and those people who have paved the way for all of us for the successes we have had. MILE PETTY: I’m open to ideas- from mundane to crazy. One that I’ve thought of more and more as the debate over prison relocation has evolved is the Gateway and the Depot District. The current idea for moving the prison is to then turn the land over and develop it into a “Tech Corridor.” Rather than wait for a new prison to be built and the old prison torn down before we start building a Tech Corridor, we should pursue utilizing the struggling Gateway and the undeveloped space of the Depot District to build a Tech Corridor in Salt Lake City. NATE SALAZAR: There is a history of pushing people who are diverse to the outskirts of town, whether that’s gay bars or the Centro Civico Mexicano. I think people are tired of living in the shadows. The area is prime for development and a lot of that area is owned by the RDA and the city council has a huge hand in making sure that development happens. We need to make sure there is a master plan that focuses on the development of other areas in the city other than the core downtown. In areas like the Depot District, we need to make sure that’s thoughtful and meaningful I the way and the process in which we make that development happen.. JEN COLBY: We need to assure there are adequate resources for area patrols and security and review lighting and other services within city control. We must work with business community and events staff to explore ways to enhance streetscape and add temporary events – more eyes on the street and more people equals more safety and security. We should advocate for resources at federal, state, county, city, and non-profit levels to address underlying social issues of homelessness and

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addiction. We must redouble our efforts to develop any RDA properties in the area. The current economic conditions are ripe for ongoing redevelopment. And we need to consider better incentives and mechanisms to encourage private landowners of vacant properties to develop them. These might include fees on buildings that have been vacant for an extended amount of time, with monies used for area improvements. BABS DE LAY: The Depot District is where my wife and I live and work, across the street from the Road Home. Nothing will happen with Gateway until the current owners decide to do something with that tragedy by selling it, tearing it down, or repurposing it. Locals would love an entertainment district at the Gateway since that’s where the planetarium, children’s museum, and Cineplex are located. However all the efforts for an entertainment District are going into Regent Street behind the new Eccles Theater. The RDA owns a ton of land where Sound and Sun-Trapp are located, as does UTA. Most people don’t understand that the city council members are the board members of the RDA. They decide what happens with the land and right now they have just entered into plans with Cowboy Partners and Boyer Company to build more offices and apartments behind the shelter. The gay bars aren’t the only people feeling unsafe. So do people seeking services at the shelter — the scariest part of Salt Lake City, the families coming to Centro Civico Mexicano — the oldest non-profit Hispanic group in Utah — on 500 West for social events, and those of us who own property, rent property and do business in the neighborhood. What are we doing about it? Spy Hop has hired security at $3,000 a month to protect kids and parents coming for summer camp; Gateway has put on more security, and bars will have to put on more security until Salt Lake City funds more police. Sadly, the only option right now is for small businesses to hire their own security out of their own pockets because police are out-numbered and underfunded. PHOTO: TRAVIS BURROUGHS

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LGBT YOUTH AND SENIORS Many of Salt Lake City’s LGBT youth and seniors are living with limited family support. Some of our youth even find themselves homeless and either couch-surfing or living on the streets. What can the city do on its own to address these populations and how can they further efforts of organizations trying to address these issues? MILES PETTY: The Salt Lake City Main Library is a welcoming place that is already used as a refuge for many homeless LGBT youth. Plans are underway for a trial phase of opening the library 24-7. While there are many reasons to have a 24-7 library, none is more important than having a place where homeless youth can stop in and feel safe. There are cons to using the library—it is large and expensive to run—but the library is home to a Volunteers of America Engagement Team, computers, books, and the public. VOA also broke ground earlier this week on a youth homeless shelter in Salt Lake. While this shelter is under construction, the library is a good interim solution that can provide a safe place for homeless youth. NATE SALAZAR: I think we need to look at this as a systemic problem. Right now, 35–40 percent of our youth identify as LGBT. What we are doing right now is good, but it’s not enough. We have the VOA that provides day drop-in services, we have Salt Lake County Youth Services which provides emergency shelter, and we have the Road Home. But a lot of our homeless and queer youth don’t feel comfortable in those settings, whether it’s feeling safe at the Road Home or feeling unwelcome at the Youth Services Center because it feels like a detention center. The city needs to work to extending the 8-hour window that youth can be helped to 72 hours and help with projects that are currently underway. JEN COLBY: We need to provide more resources for services and outreach, in coordination with non-profit, state and county partners. The city has just authorized adding social workers to the police staff. This team should provide case management and followup to connect people in need to services. The city, perhaps through the volunteer program, should help recruit more foster families who

would be willing to provide temporary shelter and support for LGBT youth. We also must continue to promote ongoing dialog with local communities and faiths to encourage acceptance and tolerance, for example Mormons Building Bridges, to help keep more kids in their own homes safely and with acceptance. Specific to senior populations, the city should better coordinate and provide systematic service outreach for seniors with limited resources, from home repair and accessible design to food and health care. BABS DE LAY: I have been tithing for the past several years to the Volunteers of America. I’m committed to help homeless teens, who are often LGBT, get on the right road. The challenges VOA face in building a facility have been enormous and for now teens can only find breakfast and lunch at the old Tape Head company at 655 So. State Street Mondays–Fridays. For seniors, the SAGE Program at the Pride Center has had the pulse on senior issues. Their past director and my BFF, Charles Frost/AKA Sister Dottie helped scratch the surface of the issues and fears older LGBT folks have…many who have no children to turn to for housing and support in later years. There’s currently a 2-year wait for low income, senior housing here and we will all be in a world of hurt in the next few years as there will be no housing available.

Salt Lake City Mayoral Candidates PUBLIC ACCOMMODATIONS PROTECTIONS While controversial across the country, protections for LGBT people in public accommodations is an important step to full equality. These protections are being fought by the religious right, saying they limit their religious liberties. Allowing a same-sex couple, for example, to be denied a hotel room or a trans* person from shopping for clothes of their gender is unacceptable. What is your plan to gain protections for LGBT people in public accommodations? RALPH BECKER: When we started, we were told that we couldn’t get a nondiscrimination ordinance through the city council. It is great to see how far we have come in such a short time. I am very open to looking at public accommodations protections in city code. I plan to ask our Human Rights Commission, which was the group responsible for getting our first nondiscrimination ordinances passed, to draw up a plan to make this happen. JACKIE BISKUPSKI: With the recently passed statewide nondiscrimination ordinance, we now have protections for housing and employment — granted with significant religious carve-outs. It was the best we could do at the time and I’m happy those protections extend. However, I do not support any

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carve-outs in public accommodation. Storefront businesses that serve the public should not have the right to decide whom they will serve. Businesses have the advantage of city-maintained infrastructure such as roads, streetlights, police and fire — needs that are provided for the benefit of all citizens. As such, it is inappropriate for a business to refuse to serve someone based on race, sexual orientation, gender identity, or any other self-identification. The city has had the ability to pass an ordinance, and it hasn’t happened. As the capital city, we should be the leader. As mayor, I will propose a local ordinance that prohibits discrimination against LGBT individuals in public accommodation. In addition to proposing a citywide ordinance, I will vigorously oppose any attempts at statewide legislation that seeks to enact or expand the religious carve-outs for LGBTQ discrimination. GEORGE CHAPMAN: I would encourage mutual respect and, if elected Mayor, I would try to defuse situations, personally if needed, to stop the polarization that is stopping us from working together. Full equality requires that people stop being afraid of others. It requires more than laws. It requires education. I am particularly respectful of the Bill of Rights that guarantee Freedom of Religion (overturned in 1833 but restored by the 14th Amendment). Like the issue of creationism, marriage has been wrapped up in religion. I believe that Mormons should especially

respect Freedom of Religion (due to the 1838 Mormon Extermination Order from Missouri) and recognize that it is in society’s best interest that relationships be long-term and hopefully permanent. Anything that society can do to encourage that is good. Religious liberties should not be using Old Testament philosophy to justify slavery, racism, sexism or anti-gay attitudes. I would not force a photographer to take pictures of an event that they have a problem photographing. I look forward to the day when people aren’t categorized and discriminated against. It stops us from working together. LUKE GARROTT: Adding special protections for sexual orientation and gender identity to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 in federal law is absolutely the right thing to do. Utah should add sexual orientation and gender identity to its nondiscrimination laws as well. I’ve been a strong ally for LGBT rights for many years. I want to live in a country and a community where discrimination based on race, religion, national origin, gender and sexual orientation and gender identity is a thing of the past. DAVE ROBINSON: The LGBTQueer community has made great strides in their push for equality and opportunity. These successes were made possible by the efforts of LGBTQueer individuals, community groups, straight allies, politicians from both sides of the isle, religious organizations and many others. As a Salt Lake City Mayoral →

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candidate and as a gay man, I understand the importance of equality and opportunity for all, regardless of sexual preference, gender identification, race, color, physical limitations, financial resources, etc. I also understand that true and genuine strength comes from within: from within an individual and from within a community. As Mayor, I will make sure that each interest group feels welcome, appreciated and that they are treated equally. Not only will I address with them what the City can do to ensure equality and opportunity for all, but I will also encourage each group to look within and to empower and strengthen themselves, which will unite and strengthen our community as a whole

within the last three years, passed an ordinance dealing with city contractors that require them to do certain things. I think the next step is to look at the nondiscrimination part of that ordinance. Right now it doesn’t include sexual orientation and gender identity and it should. DAVE ROBINSON: By most indicators, the spread of STDs and HIV are on the rise and there seems to be a direct correlation with the increased use of hook-up apps. At an average cost of $20,000 per year per HIV patient, one can quickly appreciate the

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financial, social and emotional cost to our community. How do we address this issue? First and foremost, we must make sure that our community is meeting the unique needs of those living with HIV. Then, ask and answer difficult questions. Is our local gay community doing enough to educate and combat the spread of STDs and HIV? Are the men within our community taking responsibility for their own actions or are they needlessly putting others at risk? Are they testing often enough? Do we appreciate the domino affect of one person testing positive, while having exposed many others through casual encounters? Are the hundreds of thousands of dollars that are donated and routed through the Utah AIDS Foundation being used wisely and efficiently? Are two, 2-hour testing windows per week at the Foundation enough? Is the current physical location of UAF easily accessible or should they look for shared space and resources closer to downtown? RALPH BECKER : It is clear that all candidates agree that we should use our procurement policies to advance the policies of the city. With the help of the city council, we did pass some very positive changes in our procurement policies in an ordinance that gives a preference to companies that are proposing to work with the city if they have a nondiscrimination policy. If we need to do some minor edits to the ordinance to make that more clear, that a company must adhere to state law, I look forward to working with the council to make that happen.

DEPOT DISTRICT Many of the city’s bars catering specifically to the LGBT community are in the Depot District, around 1st and 2nd South and from 4th West to the freeway. Overcrowded homeless services, large expanses of undeveloped space, and vacant buildings not only give the area an unsafe feel, but, indeed do contribute to increased crime in the area. What are your hopes and plans to fix this problem? RALPH BECKER : We are seeing a tremendous amount of development and growth west of the Gateway, and there are too many remaining vacant lots. But if you look from Rio Grande, along Third South, we have development starting there. We just signed on a development that takes up from Second South to First South, all the was to 6th West. That development is happening and it’s a good sign. All of that is happening despite the challenges with the homelessness and the crime that is imbedded by criminals using the homeless

as a shield. I’d also like to see some kind of nod to the heritage of the area, being the center of gay bars. JACKIE BISKUPSKI: It’s long past time to get serious about this issue. What has been happening in these neighborhoods has spiraled out of control these last several years. The needs of the homeless community are not being sufficiently met. We must work with the population in a very strategic way. We must have a collaborative effort with law enforcement to separate the criminal element from the truly homeless. Most of that vacant space in this area is RDA and is owned by Salt Lake City. We have had a number of business opportunities that have been passed by because they don’t mirror the vision of the current administration. There is no doubt that we need to address what is happening in that district from an economic standpoint as well. We’ve had several Economic Development directors in the last several years because decisions are being made by the mayor’s office rather than the experts we’re hiring. Every couple years we’re replacing that position and the people in the department. We need to create a master plan for the city and its development. We need a strong economic development team that understands what comes with all those business opportunities rather than just saying “sorry, not my vision.” I will bring in the right team and I will empower them to make right decisions. GEORGE CHAPMAN: What are your hopes and plans to fix this problem? Again, I want homelessness stopped now. Whatever it takes. It should receive the highest priority. I have watched it get worse and worse. It needs to stop now! One of my main reasons for running is because of this issue. LUKE GARROTT: I represent the area we

are talking about here and have for 7 and a half years. That part of the city has been typically ignored. It is where people went to go do things that they typically wanted to be out of sight. Frankly, the spotlight is being turned on that part of the city. It’s really important that we do the right thing with that part of the city. I think we are going in the right direction. My concern is that we build that part of the city in a way that’s sustainable, and we provide public services, like parks and downtown schools, emergency services. Q The entire forum is available on YouTube at bit.ly/qforum-mayor and bit.ly/qforum-council

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Utah Pride Center names Marian Edmonds-Allen executive director The Utah Pride Center announced the appointment of Marian Edmonds-Allen as their new executive director.

Marian Edmonds-Allen

“Marian is the right person at the right time. She is already a very well respected leader in our community,” said Utah Pride Center board president Kent Frogley. “There is much work to be done still and Marian stepping into the leadership role at the Utah Pride Center will serve our community well in advancing the mission of the Utah Pride Center in providing important programs and services that meet the needs of the LGBTQ community. “We conducted a national search. We were very thoughtful and careful as we considered our pool of candidates,” continued Frogley. “The UPC staff were included in the interview process and are behind Marian as well.” Edmonds-Allen was named QSaltLake’s 2014 Person of the Year and a 2015 Petra Foundation Fellow as an, “unsung leader who is making distinctive contributions to the rights, autonomy and dignity of millions who are marginalized in America”

for her collaborative work with families, community organizations, government agencies and religious institutions to prevent LGBT youth homelessness and suicide in Utah. She is currently the national program director for the Family Acceptance Project, a research, intervention, education and policy initiative that works to decrease risk and to promote well-being for LGBT children and adolescents in the context of families, culture and faith communities. She is formerly the executive director of OUTreach Resource Centers and holds a Masters of Divinity degree from Eden Theological Seminary. She lives in Pleasant View Utah with her wife and four children. “Marian brings critical leadership skills, deep commitment, vision and compassion to bring the community together to enable LGBT youth and adults to lead fully authentic lives. I look forward to working with her in this exciting new role as she continues to make a vital difference,” said Dr. Caitlin Ryan, Director of the Family Acceptance Project. “Equality Utah is thrilled to welcome Marian Edmonds to her new role. We are excited to see her vision and leadership in action. We look forward to working together to create a better state for all LGBTQ Utahns,” said Troy Williams, executive director Equality Utah “Marian Edmonds cares deeply about our community. She has the ability to combine compassion with leadership skills that get resources and programs to the people who need them. She is a bridge builder who can bring diverse groups together in order to build a better Utah for LGBTQ people and their allies.” said Erika Munson, co-founder of Mormons Building Bridges. Q

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

HRC takes on World Congress of Families Calling the World Congress of Families a “nefarious and hateful group of extremists,” Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin held a press conference with local and international stakeholders in Salt Lake City today outside the Utah State Capitol Building. WCF, which says it “affirms and defends the natural family as the fundamental unit of civilizations,” will host its worldwide congress at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City in October. Griffin also announced its sponsorship of a gathering of local leaders, citizens, and advocates that promotes a positive vision of LGBT people and their families. HRCPressConference_tallSet to begin just days before the WCF conference, HRC signed on as presenting sponsor of the second annual Inclusive Families Conference that group leaders say will aim to “preempt the deeply divisive and destructive anti-LGBT animus and collaboration

Q mmunity Q Lagoon Day Thousands will again don red shirts and head to Lagoon Amusement Park for the annual Q Lagoon Day. The picnic pavilion is once again the Pioneer Pavilion, past Pioneer Village on the way to Rattlesnake Rapids, where Kevan Floyd will host karaoke and a group photo will take place at 4pm. WHEN: Sunday, August 9, 11am to close WHERE: Lagoon Amusement Park, Farmington COST: $9 off coupons available at Cahoots, Club Try-Angles, Jam and other locations listed at the Facebook event page INFO: bit.ly/qlagoon

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

of the anti-LGBT hate group and their affiliates.” The conference will take place Oct. 23 and 24 at the University of Utah College of Social Work. Alongside the announcement, HRC released a new edition of what it calls a “scathing report” on the organization, Exposed: The World Congress of Families. “The best way to combat the hateful messages of rabidly anti-equality groups like the World Congress of Families and their affiliates is to simply let their track record speak for itself,” said Griffin. “Try as they may to mask their views in sunshine and rainbows, their positions and support for policies that target and marginalize LGBT people and incite animus around the world are undeniable. As many Utahns have come to agree, LGBT people are their friends, family and neighbors and they deserve to be treated with love and respect. As we stand with these Utahns in support of families, the definition of family for WCF and other American extremists is divisive and dangerous, as it actively excludes.” Though unable to attend the press conference, Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker issued a statement in support of

Food Truck Face Off

INFO: facebook. com/granaryrow

Delicious food and friendly competition for a good cause, The Food Truck Face-Off at Granary Row will benefit nonprofits that work to end homelessness, poverty, and adversity in Utah, including Salt Lake CAP/Head Start, The Road Home, Volunteers of America-Utah and YWCA Utah. Buy a $10 ticket and choose among the ten trucks scheduled to be there. Get a beer to go with, listen to the live music and make it a good night. WHEN: July 31, 6–9 pm WHERE: Granary Row, 336 W 700 South COST: $10 per meal

Family Night Out with the Bees

the Inclusive Families Conference. “We oppose the harmful and exclusionary actions and language of the World Congress of Families and their partners,” Becker wrote. “The Inclusive Families Conference is an opportunity to stand beside our LGBT mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers to commit ourselves to the principle that all families deserve respect and love.” At today’s press conference, Griffin was joined by local advocates including Troy Williams, executive director of Equality Utah; Mary Stanley from the Inclusive Families Coalition; and Kent Frogley, Utah Pride Center board president. They were also joined by two international pro-equality activists whose lives have been deeply impacted by the exportation of anti-LGBT hatred abroad: Dmitry Chizhevsky from Russia, and Frank Mugisha, executive director of Sexual Minorities Uganda. In 2013, Chizhevsky was leaving an LGBT community meeting in St. Petersburg when assailants shot him with an air rifle, blinding him in his left eye. The attack happened in the wake of the passing of Russia’s anti-LGBT “propaganda” law. Chizhevsky says members of WCF, including the planning committee of the Salt

Come celebrate the 20th Anniversary of the Pride Softball League by coming out to see the Salt Lake Bees play the Las Vegas 51s. This is a firework game, so stay after the game for some extra fun! WHEN: Sat, Aug 8, 6:35pm WHERE: Smith’s Ballpark, 77 W 1300 S COST: $10, optional food ticket add’l $10. INFO: aaron.s@aggiemail.usu.edu

along with TransAction Utah, Kids Like Me, the Trans* Youth/Adult Support Groups, Trans Utah Community, Utah’s Familia: Trans Queer Liberation Movement, Stand For Queer Lives, families, friends, and other allies. The all inclusive menu will feature vegan, vegetarian, and meat options but please also bring a dish to share. Games and fun will be planned for all ages and gender identities. WHEN: Sunday Aug. 16, 11am to 4pm WHERE: Jordan Park’s Southwest Pavilion, 1000 S 900 West INFO: bit.ly/TEAbbq

Trans* & Ally barbecue

Third Friday Bingo in the Park

TEA will be hosting their annual BBQ and Potluck

The Matrons of Mayhem take their bingo out to

Sugar House Park during the summer months, so you can enjoy bingo, the fresh air, and semi-naked athletes playing in the grass. The queens will fire up a grill and party in the Fabian Lake Pavilion right beside the lake. Just as the Pioneers did, this will be a pot luck food event. The Matrons provide hot dogs with all the fixins, paper plates, napkins, utensils, and you provide the rest, such as chips, drinks, salads, deserts etc. Benefits Camp Pinecliff Weekend. WHEN: Fri. Aug. 21, 7pm WHERE: Sugar House Park, 1350 E 2100 South COST: $5 first card, $3/ addl INFO: facebook.com/ matronsofmayhem.slc

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

Lake City Conference, have been actively involved in supporting Putin’s crackdown against LGBT people and their allies. When a Mother Jones reporter asked WCF managing director Larry Jacobs if WCF had contributed to the Russian crackdown on its LGBT citizens, Jacobs said, “Yes, I think that is accurate.” Chizhevsky is now seeking asylum in the U.S. “The men who pulled the trigger did not act alone,” Chizhevsky said. “The rhetoric and discrimination supported by these anti-LGBT American groups is what made these thugs forget that we too are human, and that we too deserve to live free from fear. The World Congress of Families’ words have consequences. When they cozy up to the most despotic and abhorrent Russian politicians, they lend their support to this type of violence.” “Notorious anti-LGBT extremist Scott Lively, who has not only spoken at WCF events around the world, but has also participated in planning meetings in Moscow for a WCF conference in Russia, has traveled repeatedly to Uganda claiming that LGBT people are responsible for the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide and the spread of HIV/AIDS,” Mugisha said. He and other prominent activists credit Lively with the creation of legislation to further criminalize homosexuality in Uganda. Lively is also currently facing a civil suit in the U.S. brought on by SMUG for alleged crimes against humanity. “American anti-LGBT extremists have injected deeply harmful energy and animus into my country. It is driving the physical and legal attacks on LGBT Ugandans,” said Mugisha. “As we face an onslaught of

discrimination, violence, and abuse, it is important to call out the World Congress of Families for what it is: a hate group that provides a platform for organizations and individuals to plot out ways to push LGBT people to the margins of society.” Mugisha calls WCF the “nerve center” of American extremists exporting antiLGBT bigotry abroad. “No American should be in the business of exporting hate around the world,” Mugisha said. Labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center, WCF is dedicated to promoting and coordinating the exportation of anti-LGBT bigotry, ideology, and legislation around the world. HRC’s newly updated report on the group, Exposed: The World Congress of Families, makes clear that the organization and many of its affiliates are laser-focused on promoting policies and rhetoric that put LGBT people and their families at incredible risk. Active across five continents, WCF has organized large international “pro-family” conventions that bring together a wide range of vehemently anti-LGBT activists. WCF’s activities range from holding conferences in Nigeria focused on denying rights to LGBT people to working to silence the Russian LGBT community. Earlier this year, HRC strongly condemned WCF for hiring notorious antiLGBT activist Janice Shaw Crouse as the executive director for their Salt Lake City conference. Crouse’s record was highlighted in HRC’s report Exposed: The Export of Hate, in which she received a dishonorable mention. In the past, Crouse urged the Ugandan government to take a “biblical

and cultural stand against the radical homosexual agenda” and traveled to Russia in support of the regime’s deeply anti-LGBT “propaganda” law. Williams reminded the press of Kanab, Utah’s “natural family ordinance” that “ripped the town apart.” “Pushed by Paul Mero and the Sutherland Institute, the Natural Family Ordinance told LGBT people that they were not welcome here,” Williams said. “But the town and business leaders rejected the ordinance, placing affirming, welcome signs on their stores.” Williams put out a challenge to WCF and Sutherland Institute leaders, saying that if they were not responsible for the anti-gay laws in Russia, Uganda and Nigeria, to “repudiate these laws now.” Stanley spoke of the Inclusive Families Conference, saying that the event was planned well before WCF announced its plans to come to Salt Lake. “We never intended to be anything else than what we are — a conference for all families,” she said. As clinical director of The Healing Group, she saw the damage done to children who are different in some way. “The sum of their being becomes their one difference,” she explained. She said that she believed in almost all of the planks of the WCF, but for the “one man, one woman” stance. “I know that God is good, and God is love — with no conditions,” she said. Frogley said that strong families are the hallmark of our state. “Let us not define natural as narrow,” he said. “That just means that some are ‘less than’ others.” Q

DRIVE A N OT H E R DAY.

22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

“

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. … [The challengers] ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

— U.S. Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy the recent ruling on same-sex marriage

“

If you are among the many Americans– of whatever sexual orientation–who favor expanding same-sex marriage, by all means celebrate today’s decision. Celebrate the achievement of a desired goal. Celebrate the opportunity for a new expression of commitment to a partner. Celebrate the availability of new benefits. But do not Celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it.

“

— U.S. Supreme Court Justice John Roberts in oppositin to the ruling

You cut that out right now, or you’ll go home in an ambulance.”

— Transgender reporter Zoey Tur to Breitbart Editorat-Large Ben Shapiro after he called her “sir” on the Dr. Drew On Call show

“

There’s a thing of recognizing that you have gay fans, as a male artist. I was speaking to some of my very close gay friends as I was making the record, and they told me I should really make the effort to embrace my gay audience as it’s bigger than I might think. There should be more heterosexual male artists who are comfortable to attract a gay audience and do it in a way that’s authentic. With me, it comes from a very genuine and loving place.”

— Nick Jonas on whether he intentionally courted the gay audience

“

She’s extremely beautiful and a lovely person, and I didn’t know what to do with her. So I went to a friend, Edward Petherbridge, the actor, who knows about these things. And I said, Edward, I’ve got to do this love scene. Can you explain to me — can you draw me a little diagram? So he did. He gave me some stick figures…Showed me what was possible. So I’m now an expert on the missionary position, and everything went well.”

— Sir Ian McKellen speaking with NPR about concerns he had playing straight love scenes when he was still a closeted actor

QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor. Email 300 words or less to letters@qsaltlake.com. We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

rizzi

Garth and his dog I saw the

MARCY TAYLOR-RIZZI

man, clad in Harley Davidson apparel with wild long hair, walk into Smith’s, our local grocery store. He caught my attention because of the beautiful German Shepherd that accompanied him into the store. The dog had a vest on and a clear sign stating, “DO NOT PET.” I continued down the aisle and told my partner that when I am older I want to get a therapy dog for my anxiety. I began to imag-

ine what it would be like to have a dog assist me in panic attacks … even thinking about it calmed my over-anxious mind. We rounded the corner of the aisle and the man and his dog were walking up behind us. I waited for the pair and as they approached me I told the man I loved his dog. The man was large, standing at least 6’3” and weighing at least two of me. He smiled and became soft instantaneously. The brawn disappeared as this man introduced me to his dog, who sat between me and the big man. The dogs name is Ruzzo. As we talked she began to lick my hand and her tail swished across the tiled floors. Without thinking I patted her head. I stopped and apologized to the man. He smiled broadly and told me I could pet her as much as I liked. I knelt down and began to give Ruzzo full body rubs and kisses on her narrow head, her tail never stopped wagging. I asked the man if she was a therapy dog. The man told me that he is a therapy human for his dog.

Turns out Ruzzo was a dog in the Iraq war and she was so traumatized that the military released her from her duty. She suffers from anxiety and PTSD. The man went on to tell me that he and Ruzzo had a lot in common. I immediately understood that this man also suffers from wounds unseen. I stood up and hugged him. He hugged me back, tightly. He then told me that Ruzzo had the worst of it and I should give her a hug, which I did without hesitation. When I stood back up the man introduced himself as Garth. We shook hands, but each of us probably could have used another hug. I began asking questions about how he got involved with his work with dogs and if he had other dogs he’s helped with anxiety. He told me about one dog so far gone that many people thought he was putting himself at risk living with her. He never mentioned the dog’s name but I knew she was special to him and that she was no longer around. His eyes hurt and loved in ways he couldn’t articulate. Garth then spoke German commands to Ruzzo and she promptly complied by laying down. He gave another command and Ruzzo sat back up with an alert look in her eyes. I told him I was impressed.

Garth then told me that one of the reasons he took her to the store at that moment was because a thunder-storm was on its way and the thunder “freaks her out.” He said that the music and amount of

people make it hard for her to hear the thunder. Ruzzo was primarily used as a bomb detection dog, which meant she was shot at often. Though never receiving a bullet wound, Garth said that Ruzzo had so many near misses that any loud noises trigger her into a quivering mess. The 4th of July is especially difficult for her. Ruzzo started licking my hand again. I bent down and kissed her on her head and gave her scritches on her back. She leaned into me while she took a piece of me. I thanked Garth for his time and told

him I would be on the look out for him again. He said, “I see you’re married.” I told him I was. He looked disappointed. I told him we could still remain friends. He said, “I was hoping for someone who could spend time with me and my dog.” I told him anything is possible. He smiled and nodded. I smiled and walked away. I should have hugged him one more time and kissed Ruzzo again while I had the chance. Q Marcy Taylor-Rizzi is one of QSaltLake’s newest columnists. She lives with her partner and her children in Ogden, Utah.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

who’s your daddy?

For my father BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

I have a

friend, who didn’t want children because he feared he would be the type of father to them that his dad was to him. That “like father, like son” reasoning was exactly why I did want to become a parent. My dad raised his kids with humor, love, respect and patience — all attributes I try to emulate. My father passed away just before sunrise on July 4th. As I’ve reflected the last few weeks about him and our relationship, I’ve had to admit that I wasn’t always the ideal son. For a hardworking son of immigrants growing up in the poverty of the Great Depression, having a gay son wasn’t his first choice. Nor was it his second for that matter. But my dad’s love for me was much stronger than his preconceived prejudices. While some of his peers grew more entrenched in their conservative beliefs about gay people, Dad evolved to become far more liberal. Was he ever going to march in Pride? No. But tell him that

gay marriage was wrong, or that Christ preached against homosexuality, and you were likely to be taken to school. My dad was not, however, a big supporter of me becoming a father myself. At least not at first. He was worried, I would discover, about how a kid with two dads would be treated. Then Gus, whom we named for my dad, came along. Before the adoption, my dad never talked about the baby. He seldom asked how Gus was doing, or where we were in the adoption process. Granted, presents came, and when we visited, Big Gus doted on Little Gus the entire time. But that was the exception to the rule. I finally confided in my mom. What she told me still makes me smile a dozen years later: my dad was crazy excited about Little Gus, but he wouldn’t say anything for fear of casting the evil eye on the whole adoption. I had forgotten that for all the progress my dad had made, deep down he was still a superstitious old Greek guy. My parents, sister and one of my brothers came to California to be with us at the

adoption hearing. When we arrived in the courtroom, Kelly, the baby and I took our seats in front of the bench, as our family and friends sat behind us in the gallery. That is, all of them but Dad. He positioned himself at my side, symbolically saying he was behind me completely, daring the judge to deny the adoption. We have a photo of the two of them on that day. In it Gus is holding my dad’s hand as they walked away from the rest of us. That photo perfectly sums up their special relationship, their deep bond. The same was true of Niko. My father acted as if that kid was the Dauphine of France. Dad saw so much of himself in Niko, and it’s true that they shared a particular twinkle in the eye, which usually meant that mischief was at hand. My kids had a chance to visit with their papou the day before his death. They told him about their adventures at my cousin’s cabin earlier in the week. They were the last people with whom he really had a normal conversation. The next afternoon, the boys stood next to me as our priest administered last rites. It was strangely comforting to have them with me. Just as my dad had stood by me as I gained children, my sons stood by me as I lost a father. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

creeps of the week Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito and John Roberts BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

We are

gathered here today to celebrate something that many of us didn’t think would happen in our lifetimes. Marriage Equality is, at long last, the law of the land. Thank you Supreme Court Justices Anthony M. Kennedy, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor, Stephen G. Breyer, and Elena Kagan. Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, and John Roberts, on the other hand, are pissed. Their dissenting opinions in the case make clear that they think that same-sex couples should not be allowed to get married and that they have the utmost disdain for both same-sex couples and the Justices who voted in the majority. Chief Justice John Roberts, for example, doesn’t see same sex couples as people, exactly, more like hypothetical entities that exist solely to be the fodder of debate. “Supporters of same-sex marriage have achieved considerable success persuading their fellow citizens — through the democratic process — to adopt their view. That ends today,” he wrote. “Five lawyers have closed the debate and enacted their own vision of marriage as a matter of constitutional law. Stealing this issue from the people will for many cast a cloud over same-sex marriage, making a dramatic social change that much more difficult to accept.” As if those folks who think gays are going to hell and are ruining marriage for everyone would have been appeased by this ruling coming from somewhere else. Haters gonna hate. Roberts continues, “However heartened the proponents of same-sex marriage might be on this day, it is worth acknowledging what they have lost, and lost forever: the opportunity to win the true acceptance that comes from persuading their fellow citizens of the justice of their cause. And they lose this just when the winds of change were freshening at their backs. In other words, anti-gay folks just needed a wee bit more convincing and I’m sure they would have been just fine with

members of the Supreme Court who have the whole thing. They just needed more made certain that they will go down in histime. And now the very important and tory as bigots themselves.. Q not at all demeaning work of convincing everyone we come across that we, as gays and lesbians, are real people who feel real people feelings and aren’t a bunch of childrecruiting perverts has been stolen from us! This is an outrage! Keep in mind this is not work that Roberts has never had to do in his male, white, heterosexual life. But he knows best what’s good for the gays! Antonin Scalia was also upset that “the people” don’t get to vote on whether gays are capable of love and commitment or not. “To allow the policy question of samesex marriage to be considered and resolved by a select, patrician, highly unrepresentative panel of nine is to violate a principle even more fundamental than no taxation without representation: no social transformation without representation,” he wrote. If Scalia saw gays and lesbians as actual human beings, he’d likely (but who knows, it’s Scalia) not be so quick to throw them to the wolves – er, I mean, the voting public – to sort it out. Clarence Thomas essentially said that since gays didn’t have it as bad as slaves or people in internment camps, they had 12896 S Pony Express Rd LotusStore nothing to complain about in the first Suite 200 in Draper place and should STFU. (just north of IKEA) Samuel Alito bemoaned that people 801.333.3777 who think gays are icky would be reduced www.ilovelotus.com to “whisper[ing] their thoughts in the recesses of their homes” lest they “risk being labeled as bigots and treated as such by governments, employers, and schools.” Ah, nobody wants • INDIVIDUALS to be called a bigot • COUPLES • CHRONIC DISEASE these days, but they • GAY ISSUES do want the freedom • HIV/AIDS to be bigoted. It’s • ADULT MALE SURVIVORS OF funny how that SEXUAL ABUSE works. But it’s not funny coming from

Everything from Angels to Zen

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

queer shift

Pup—Shift BY CHARLES LYNN FROST

Nope,

this is not an article about Kink and Puppy Play, sorry folks. I have resources though should that be what you are looking for. I love dogs! I know there are cat people and dog people, but since this edition of the Q is dedicated to dogs, I am declaring my complete orientation to the canine family. Finding your life partner is tremendous, the world becomes a much more amazing place, an improved place. Even better when the perfect mate has a soft beard, a wet nose and four legs. A dog doesn’t cringe at the word commitment, in fact a dog defines the things we all want in a man — loyalty, companionship, snuggling, being there, the perfect listener, unconditional love and life-long friendship. A dog lives for you. Day and night he’s always ready for whatever you have in mind, work or play. He can be trained to live by your rules, he can be fun and ever so easy to have around, and he always responds to the come command. A dog

doesn’t require elegant gifts or extravagant meals and you can never forget his birthday because he doesn’t even know he has one. Although I highly recommend

making his birthday extra special for your pooch. He has keen intuition. Rescuing a dog is a heroic feat, and one to be carefully thought through. You are choosing to care for a dog in a long, longterm relationship.

While I was performing in the last Sister Dottie play at SLAC almost three years ago, our much beloved Deacon, a

Westhighland Terrier finally had to leave us, after 14 years. I was in mid-rehearsal when the vet called and said “you were right, it is the end, come now.” I recall that night with tremendous anguish and every time someone posts their pet moving on — my heart drops. Every single time. Once the play was over I literally went into grieving for several months. A stately large framed portraiture of Deacon hangs on our wall and it always comforts me that we shared his whole life together. Upward and onward. My husband Doug and I are about to become doggy daddies again — yep, after three years of recovery. We’ve found a Norwich Terrier named Cash whom we will officially adopt early August. It’s finally time. Choosing the right dog for you is a crucial decision, one that merits time, planning and preparation. Choosing a

dog to share your time with is one of life’s greatest privileges. Identifying yourself

with the right dog adds to your own profile. You’re no longer just a gay recovering Mormon, Scandinavian, ginger power bottom, Bear pharmacist; now you are a gay recovering Mormon, Scandinavian, ginger power bottom, Bear pharmacist who owns two toy poodles. Finding the right dog for you, one who will fit into your lifestyle is part of a noble mission. Does every gay man need a dog? Hell no. Some gay men simply cannot handle the responsibility of owning a dog. Some cannot commit to a color much less a living creature. Many gay men cannot keep a house plant alive, but they are often fantasizing about the perfect Pomeranian being toted about in that fabulous Louis Vuitton dog carrier. Luckily for the poor matted Pom, certain gay people have spared the canine race the abuse and disappointment and have resigned themselves to a dogless existence. Better to own a cat(s), with unlimited lesbian friends. Here are a few life-altering doggy lessons to strongly think about: • How it feels to be the center of another’s world.

• How it feels to have someone depend on you for everything. • What unconditional love is. • Why consistency pays off. • That commitment doesn’t hurt. • Why the promise “to obey” can be a good thing. • How it feels to wake up to a hairy beast who will never leave you for a younger man. • What it’s like to have a friend who never judges you. • That dogs hang around much longer than most lovers. • The utter joy of a good bone. • And a few more wrap-it-up facts: • Dogs are far more tolerant of your shortcomings and your insecurities. • Dogs actually listen to you when you speak. • Dogs are all about PDA. • Dogs don’t insist on exclusivity; threesomes in the park would be every dog’s idea of a perfect outing. • Dogs are easy to get along with and don’t bitch. • Dogs don’t question when you bring home the sales boy from Nordstrom or Coffee Garden. • Dogs freely admit that they are nosy and love gossip, and rarely repeat it. • Dogs don’t complain when you opt for dinner at home, even if it’s leftovers.

• Dogs don’t insist on an explanation when you come home late or stay out all night. • Dogs don’t compare you with their previous bedmates. • Dogs actually enjoy being used. And in closing — like Paul Simon said, your dog’s still “gonna love you when your looks are gone.” Get a dog, it’ll make your life swell in so many wonderfully memorable ways. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorial Our compassion for our pets shows our humanity

Every

BY GEORGE CHAPMAN, candidate for Salt Lake City Mayor

year in our country, millions of pets are killed. These are pets that loved us and were loved by us. They deserve better. In Salt Lake County, the County Animal Services shelter has been able to maintain a no-kill status with the help of many volunteers and separate organizations like the Humane Society and Best Friends Animal Society (adoption center at 2005 S. 1100 E.). The county animal shelter (511 W. 3900 South) has been able to achieve a live release rate for dogs of 98 percent (for June 2015). Mike Reberg, director of the County Animal Services made a point in a recent discussion that they don’t euthanize for time or space. Even when they have a ton of cats, they won’t kill. A good example is that there are two cats from a colony that have been there for 90 days. He also pointed out that “We always have a ton of cats in the summertime and there are now free adoptions. It is a great place to find a pet.” He encourages people to come to the shelter to adopt. Mike and his staff have shown that they care. Even if you can’t adopt a pet, consider donating money or time to the shelters. They always need volunteers. The County uses volunteers to ensure that the animals in the shelter continue to have human contact. They are not just caged up and left alone. For instance, if a kitten is left in a cage for 30 days, they will

deteriorate to the point of dying. Salt Lake County Animal Services, along with their partners, Humane Society and Best Friends, does not let that happen.

If you are able, please consider going to your local animal shelter and adopting a pet. Don’t let our pets die a cold and lonely death. You should also consider getting involved in pet issues that are being discussed at the Salt Lake City Council. An attempt by Salt Lake City to come down hard and ticket every dog owner that allowed their dog to be off leash (except in designated areas) has been scaled back. The Salt Lake Tribune did a story last year about it. The City did not realize that the ordinance was a misdemeanor and the penalty could involve six months in jail! The city council is trying to rewrite the ordinance and a vigorous public discussion is needed. Another issue is the lack of open space for off leash dogs. Again the City is considering expanding those areas and public input would help the final decision. The more that are involved, the better the decision. Our compassion for our fellow living things is an important part of our humanity. Supporting efforts to reduce homeless pets is a great way to show our humanity. Please show that we care. We can never have enough humanity. George Chapman is a candidate for Mayor of Salt Lake City, a former Naval Officer and retired engineer. He is an activist and opinion writer in Salt Lake City.

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28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

lambda lore

A generational split BY BEN WILLIAMS

Days after

the Stonewall riots, the Mattachine Society of New York, the largest homosexual organization in the city, tried to make the most of the sense of power released by them. As it was, the younger

generation of mostly Baby Boomers had little patience for the tactics and politics of their homophile elders, many of whom

came to age in the early 1950s. The homophile movement, which preceded the paradigm shift that occurred on Christopher Street, believed that social acceptance of homosexuality could only come slowly by changing the opinion of society. The assistance of medical and legal experts from the straight world was seen as essential for society to accept change. The generation that came of age in the 1960s civil rights and antiwar movements had little tolerance for what seemed to the the antiquated conventions and convictions of the older homophile leaders. Michael Brown, a young gay activist of the New Left, after reading “The Hairpin Drop Heard Around the World,” written by Mattachine Executive Director Dick Leitsch, contacted Leitsch and with his support created the Mattachine’s Community Action Committee as a response to the clashes with the police on Christopher Street. The first meeting of the Community Action Committee was held on July 9, 1969, and the second meeting a week later. Between the two meetings a young activist and committee member named Marty Robinson initiated protest “hangouts” in Greenwich Village where groups of homosexuals would congregate at some spot. When the police responded to tell them to move along, the protesters declared it was their right to assemble peacefully and refused to move. A confrontational reaction by the police was held in check by New York City Mayor John Lindsay. He was running for re-election and was not anxious to have any more issues for his opponents to criticize his running of the city. Actually,

it was Mayor Lindsay’s campaign drive to clean up the morals of New York City that initiated the riots at the Stonewall Inn bar in the first place. The second Community Action Committee met at St. John’s Episcopal Church on Waverly Place where it quickly became apparent that the “generation gap” between the older homophiles and the younger New Left Gays was explosive. Many in the audience had been participants in the riots and beaten by the police while none of the Mattachine leaders had been. Leitsch opened the meeting by trying to set a conciliatory moderate tone. He told the mostly young audience that while police brutality must be protested, “homosexuals must retain the favor of the Establishment, especially those who make and change the laws.” He made the same homophile argument that acceptance would come slowly, and only “by educating the straight community with grace and good humor.” In response a young gay man jumped up and yelled “We don’t want acceptance,

God damn it! We want respect! Demand it!” He went on saying, “We’re through

hiding in dark bars behind Mafia doormen. We’re going to go where straights go and do anything with each other they do and if they don’t like it, well fuck them! Straights don’t have to be ashamed of anything sexy they happen to feel like doing in public and neither do we! We’re through cringing and begging like a lot of nervous old nellies at Cherry Grove!” The extreme outburst and perceived rudeness of the long-haired man shocked Mattachine assistant Madolin Cervantes, a heterosexual woman who had devoted her life to homosexual equality. Ruffled, she tried to redirect the meeting back to the congenial posturing by saying, “Well, now I think that what we ought to have is a vigil in a park. Carry candles, perhaps I think we should be firm, but just as amicable and sweet as...” But before she could finish her

sentence, New Left activist Jim Fourett called out, “Sweet!? Sweet Bullshit!” Agitated, Fourett then stood and bellowed, “There’s the stereotype homo again, man! … bullshit! That’s the role society has been forcing these queens to play, and they just sit and accept it. We got to radicalize,

man! Why? Because as long as we accept getting fired from jobs because we are gay, or not being hired at all, or being treated like second-class citizens, we’re going to remain neurotic and screwed up! Be proud

of what you are, man! And if it takes riots

or even guns to show them what we are, well that’s the only language that the pigs understand!” Fourett’s remarks resonated with the audience and nearly shut the meeting down by their thunderous “wild applause.” Lietsch, calling for order, tried to reassert control of the meeting, but Fourett kept shutting him down. “All of the oppressed have to unite! The system keeps us all weak by keeping us separate. We’ve got to work together with all the New Left.” At this, Leitcsh had had enough, and clearly flustered began screaming for order. He was ignored and the meeting broke up. After this divisive second meeting, it was obvious that those gay youth who grew up with the mantra “Don’t trust anyone over 30,” an attack phrase against the United States’ establishment, were not to be placated by the worn-out platitudes of homophile leaders. The last meeting of the Mattachine

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

Society’s Committee Action Committee was held July 23, again at St. John’s, but was poorly attended. Committee member Marty Robinson was criticized for the lack of attendance from having spent his time trying to get straights of the Village interested in the plight of homosexuals at the expense of keeping other committee members informed. Also, after the heated exchange at the previous meeting, there was also a perception by young activists that the leaders of the Mattachine Society lacked an interest in continuing the group nor in hearing their views. A group of New Left activists, however, were busy on their own after having rejected the ways of the homophile elders. They formed a new committee and rechristened their group the Gay Liberation Front. A key difference between the homophile movement and Gay Liberationists was the openly use of the word “gay” for homosexual men and women. Gay had been avoided by the previous generation of homophiles in favor of often cryptic, inoffensive names like Mattachine, Bilitis and Janus. Gay was now in your face and shoved down your throat. On July 24, 1969, a leaflet posted all over the village read “Do You Think Homosexu-

als Are Revolting? You Bet Your Sweet Ass We Are.” It was the first announcement of

the formation of the new Gay Liberation Front. Additionally the flier stated, “We’re going to make a place for ourselves in the revolutionary movement. We challenge the myths that we are screwing up this society.” The name chosen for the new movement was based on the designation preferred by the Vietcong and other antiimperialist leftist organizations. By using the word Front, the organizers saw it not as an exclusive gay organization but as a movement that brought all gay organizations under its banner. The symbol for the Gay Liberation Front was a clenched raised fist. The core activists of GLF organized marches on Time Magazine and The Village Voice, fundraising dances, consciousness-raising groups, and radical study groups. They published their own newspaper, Come Out!, and quickly became the new gay mass political movement on both coasts and, by October, even in Utah. Although many activists moved on to create more focused organizations, GLF transformed the consciousness of everyone it touched, including me. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

salt lake day at

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30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

Our Pets Our annual issue where we get to show off and brag about our furry companions. This beautiful beast is RUPAULA and her human’s name is CHELSIE. Ru lives up to her namesake. She’s a diva, a boss, and is always In control. Our goal in life is to get a picture of RuPaula with RuPaul. My dog is my child and my best friend. No matter who I let down or disappoint, no matter who can’t stand me or who doesn’t understand. My dog will always love me for me.

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My name is JASPER MURDOCH, his name was PRINCE HENRY. Henry had the sweetest soul and loving personality. He literally never left my side and was my best friend. He passed away in January of this year and took a huge part of my heart with him. I’d give anything to have him back. Not a day passes that I don’t think about him and miss him with every ounce of my being. I love you little man, to the moon and back!

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OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

My name is ROXIE and my Dad is MICHAEL ALLEN GRAY. I call him MAGS. I had been injured by and abandoned in the mountains of Utah and was rescued by a kind stranger who brought me to Salt Lake. My Dad saw me and immediately knew that we were meant to be together. He took me to the Vet and nursed my injuries as well as an infection that almost killed me. Dad is a Disabled Vietnam Veteran and told me that he had lost his previous Service Dog of 18 years and that he needed someone to help care for him and asked if I would consider being his friend, companion and helper. I woofed at the chance. He sent me to school and now I protect and serve him. Dad was surprised to learn that I was not a Great Pyrenees but a 2,000-year-old Hungarian breed called a Kuvasz. I was only supposed to grow to 85 lbs but I am already 120 lbs., so I am a Big & Beautiful Girl. (Dad is still in shock as I keep growing and I am only 2.) My Dad is a singer and actor now who takes me to his rehearsals for a Shakespeare play. I enjoy watching and one day hope I can play Sandy in the musical “Annie.” Paws, Roxie

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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

DENNY RANKIN with “The girls” WINNIE (left) and BELLE. Winne loves to be on leash exploring and sniffing. Belle would rather be held and carried. Walks are usually done with winner in hand. They love to get campy around a nice fire with Denny and DON WESTON

TRAVIS BURROUGHS with SCOTTY. “He is my absolute best pal in the world. My parents found him when he was a puppy at an archery shoot in Elko, Nevada. Scotty has been my rock ever since he came to live with me. He is full of energy and loves to play. I could never imagine my life without him.”

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

9 Lives for $9

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August 1 – 31

Think 9 times the love! Adopt a cat six months or older for only $9. Best Friends Pet Adoption Center 2005 S. 1100 E. • Salt Lake City

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This is ALAN SCHWIND (on the left) and MILO (on the right.) He is the gayest little kitten I know and has stuck by me through thick and thin ... through a few boyfriends ... until I found my boo.

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QSaltLake publisher MICHAEL AARON with SANDY STORM. While she may look all cute and peaceful here, this was but a few hours after waking up everyone in the house at 4 a.m. Sandy’s hobbies are: climbing trees after squirrels, stalking any flying thing from the size of a gnat to the size of a pigeon and leaping 6 feet into the air when they take off, sitting on keyboards, plopping herself at the feet of anyone who comes to the house to present her belly for exactly 2 strokes, and attacking anything that might stir under the bed sheets in the morning. She was a rescue from the Human Society who had been found stuck in a pipe. Three pages of medical procedures kept her alive for us.

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

Pet Month of the

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Tony’s Gay Agenda BY TONY HOBDAY

ANNUAL EVENTS One of the highly anticipated and highest attended events of the season has finally arrived. Hundreds of homos clad in red flock to Lagoon for riding, rollicking and sometimes racy conduct. The event honors and shows respect for Utah’s best gay news/entertainment source: QSaltLake. (No, Michael didn’t pay me to say that … I’m just plainly that pliable to suggestion!) Also on the agenda this August are the Park City Arts (which actually starts July 31) and Fringe festivals, and an exposed Rose … I can’t be definite but I think it’s some kind of lesbian affair.

SATURDAY — PARK CITY 1 ARTS FESTIVAL Main Street, Park City, through Sunday, hours vary. Weekend passes $5-10, parkcitykimball artsfestival.org

THURSDAY — GREAT SALT 6 LAKE FRINGE Venues vary, Sugar House, through Aug. 9, hours vary. Admission $10 plus show tickets $5-70, greatsaltlakefringe.org

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

SUNDAY — QSALTLAKE 9 LAGOON DAY Lagoon Amusement Park, 375 Lagoon Dr., Farmington, 1pmclose. Discount coupons available at Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South

SATURDAY — THE ROSE 29 EXPOSED: THE

DREAMERS’ PROJECT

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 8pm. Tickets $15, arttix.org

BAR EVENTS Damn I’m bummed I’m going to miss seeing Dennis McCracken in a speedo and arm floaties in a dunk tank … that’s one for the history books! On another note, keep an eye on Michael Aaron because if he has too much wine, he’ll want to be dunked in the buff, and his ding-a-ling doesn’t exactly react like a sea monkey when submerged in water, just sayin’. Now on the high note, this is a great fundraising event for the Salt Lake Men’s Choir so be sure to have plenty of cash on hand and debauchery on the mind. Enjoy a BBQ, music, bingo with the Mattresses of Mayhem and of course, dunking the cute choir boys.

— DUNK TANK 23SUNDAY

Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South, 3pm. Bingo cards $5, clubtryangles.com

CONCERTS The Utah Symphony is pulling out all the stops this month by hosting diva Kristin Chenoweth and the iconic Diana Krall, as well as celebrating the scores of Hollywood film greats such as Cinema Paradiso, Gone With the Wind and Out of Africa. Plus, openly gay artists whose voices make my butt hair stand on end take to Utah stages. Also, the beautiful and talented Kelly Clarkson comes to town. Next, a more raucous and sweaty evening with KMFDM (an acronym, I understand, for Rose Nyland’s rainbow-sprinkled breakfast muffin called Kir Milkin Fluggen Dilfin Muffin … Dilfin, really?!!? That tramp.) And, finally, an 18-year-old inspired artist who comes along rarely, possessing sophistication well beyond his years.

WEDNESDAY — SAM SMITH

Maverik Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr., WVC, 8pm. Tickets $37-81.50, smithstix.com

FRIDAY — HOLLYWOOD 7 UNDER THE STARS WITH THE UTAH SYMPHONY

Deer Valley Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr. S., Park City, 7:30pm. Tickets $10-88, arttix.org

SATURDAY — KRISTIN 8 CHENOWETH WITH

THE UTAH SYMPHONY Deer Valley Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr. S., Park City, 7:30pm. Tickets $44, arttix.org

— KELLY CLARKSON 8 SATURDAY

USANA Amphitheatre, 5200 S. 6200 West, WVC, 7pm. Tickets $20-99.50, smithstix.com

FRIDAY — DIANA KRALL WITH THE 14 UTAH SYMPHONY Deer Valley Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr. S., Park City, 7:30pm. Tickets $44, arttix.org

— BRANDI CARLILE 16 SUNDAY

Red Butte Garden Outdoor Amphitheatre, 300 Wakara Way, UofU, 7pm. Tickets $34-49, redbuttegarden.org

— KMFDM 18 TUESDAY

Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8pm. Tickets $25, 24tix.com

— DYLAN GARDNER 25 TUESDAY Kilby Court, 741 S. 340 West, 7pm. Tickets $10/12, kilbycourt.com

OTHER SATURDAY — BIG GAY BROADWAY 15 SING-A-LONG Fort Douglas Post Theatre, 245 Fort Douglas Blvd, UofU. 8:30pm, Tickets $20–50, voodoo. ticketleap.com/biggaybroadway

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

Ogden Pride Aug. 1 Choosing to begin modestly, Ogden Pride’s board of directors are planning a number of events to kick off their first Pride on August 1 from 1 to 6 p.m. in downtown Ogden at the Municipal Gardens. The theme is “Love Within Reach” and couples will have the opportunity to get married at the festival. Other activities include: MARRIAGE CEREMONIES — Arrive at the OP Wedding Chapel with your marriage license, and an ordained minister will wed you and your partner. LGBTQ HISTORY — The Utah Pride Center will sponsor an exhibit, “Windows To The Past,” highlighting state and national LGBTQ history.

PET PARADE & FASHION SHOW — Strut your stuff with your pooch, or kitty, or bird, or iguana … KARAOKE — Channel your inner diva and belt out a song! CARNIVAL GAMES — Ringtoss, skee ball, Twister and other games for prizes. BOUNCY HOUSE — Kids can romp and stomp around in the huge inflatable bounce house. FACE PAINTING — Transform yourself or your kids into a super-hero or an animal or a robot. LEARN TO CROCHET — Demos and lessons. Or just come sit and knit for awhile. More info at ogdenpride.org

Provo Pride Sept. 19 The 3rd Provo Pride Festival, with the themre, “This is Family” will be held Saturday, Sept. 19 at Memorial Park at 800 E. Center St. Organizers promise food, entertainment, and info booths. The Caravan of Glam, most recently seen on “America’s Got Talent,” will be

performing. A kick-off party will be held on Sept. 18 at City Limits, 440 W Center St. from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. An after-party will be held also at City Limits on Saturday night after the festival. More info at provopride.org

Moab Pride Sept. 20–26 Beginning with Moab Adventure Week Sept. 20–25, the Moab Pride Festival and Parade is a great reason to head to Southern Utah. Razorbiking, Jeeping, hiking, rafting, stand-up paddle boarding and more await the adventurous who want to extend their experience to the whole week in Moab. Nightly dining and bar options are also available. The festival begins with an “Orange Party,” similar to a white party, at Club Rio, 2 S. 100 West, on Friday night, Sept. 25. Yes, orange attire is encouraged.

On Saturday, the annual Visibility March starts at a sane 11 a.m. heading from Swanny City Park, through downtown Moab and returning. Right after the March and through 6 p.m., the festival takes part with booths and entertainment at Swanny City Park, 400 N. 100 West. An after party takes you back to Club Rio featuring divaDanielle and DJ DAN. An estimated 1,000 people are expected for Moab Pride Weekend. More information on Gay Adventure Week is at gayadventureweek.com. Information on Moab Pride is at moabpride.org.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Downtime Detox: Healthy Ways to Revive Your Summer Spirit

a&e

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

BY MIKEY ROX

We’re just

about halfway through summer, and chances are you’ve worn yourself out — even though you don’t dare show it. Secret’s safe, playboys (and girls). But here are a few healthy ways to recoup and reenergize just in case.

CUT BACK ON THE BOOZE, HOUND If you have even a smidge of a social life, you can find a shindig just about every weekend during the summer — whether it be at your BFF’s barbecue, hanging by the pool at a friend of a friend’s, or dancing the night away at your favorite club. And what’s a party without a few cocktails, right? The problem is that too much of a good thing will start to take its toll on your body, and fast. Not only will the alcohol and resulting hangover make you sluggish, but you’ll interrupt your normal sleep cycle, make poorer food choices, and likely skip the gym. If this scenario sounds familiar, it’s time to cut back on the booze — or go cold turkey for a week (I did it for four months; it’s not that hard!) — and find more productive activities in which to engage that don’t involve inebriation.

REPLACE GO, GO, GO WITH NO, NO NO Along with all those parties, there’s a million other things you probably enjoy during the summer — like exercising outside, taking the dog on adventures, hitting the beach and shopping summer sales — but every now and then you need to slow down. Life doesn’t have to move a mile a minute from May to September just because it’s warm out. Believe it or not, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell your friends that you won’t be going out for the fourth night in a row. They’ll survive your absence — trust me — and you can enjoy time to yourself catching up on your DVR, reading your magazines, or whatever it is you like to do to unwind when you’re alone. Perv.

STICK TO CLEAN EATING AS BEST YOU CAN Personally I find it much harder to eat clean in the summertime than I do the

winter because I’m out and about more often. During the winter months, I’m generally nesting at home, and since I cook for myself, I’m able to make healthy choices on a regular basis. Fast-forward to summer and my eating habits get a bit iffy with more junk food thrown in the mix. Some of that junk is a result of those poor food choices I mentioned as a result of being hungover, but I also find it hard to resist the burgers, hot dogs and other cookout goodies that are readily available most weekends. Because who wants to eat a boring salad when there’s a bacon cheeseburger calling your name? At some point, however — like when your abs start to fade into one summer gut — you’ve got to put down that bag of potato chips and remind yourself that it’s easier (just not tastier) to get laid on a diet of lean protein and produce. What more motivation do you need?

TURN OFF THE ELECTRONICS AND CATCH MORE ZS Studies show that our addiction to technology and electronic devices are negatively affecting our sleep patterns — when we let it. If you’re feeling run down, over-whelmed or like you’re about to implode from social-media overload, turn off your devices for a while. One night won’t kill you, and you can use the disconnect to catch up on some much-needed rest without any pings, whistles or chirps interrupting your nappy time.

SIT BACK, RELAX, AND LISTEN TO SOOTHING MUSIC This summer has produced a few hot bangers — tracks from The Weeknd, Demi Lovato, Fetty Wap and Silento are among my faves — but one can take only so much bass pounding their face. When the volume turn up too much, flip the switch and find a new, more demure Spotify station. Create a low-key playlist of smooth jazz; classical summer (look it up!); boutique hotel lounge; or the “Most Chilled Songs Ever,” which, based on the title, should mellow you right out.

SCHEDULE A MASSAGE OR A YOGA CLASS Now that you’ve successfully reduced your alcohol intake, cut the crap food and had a good night’s sleep, it’s time to purge your body of all those toxins you’ve been filling it with over the past several weeks. One perfect feel-good way to do that is with a massage or a yoga class that’ll help the mind and body come together as one. If you go to a halfway decent gym, yoga classes are likely offered, so check the schedule for a session. As for the massage, well, you can go about that however you’d like, though I’ll always recommend a happy ending. Smiles for everybody — that’s my motto. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

A blooming good time with florist Ray King

Business

is blooming at Twigs Flower Company. No, really. Just take a look at all the roses, lilies and daisies in the refrigerators, each blossom colorful and full despite the chilly winter wind blowing outside. It’s a slower Saturday for owner Raymond “Ray” King — if slower means he has a few minutes in between finishing the flower arrangements for a wedding and preparations for another project. In between customers looking for the perfect orchid as a wedding gift, and an arrangements for funerals, King talks about the ins and outs of the floral business. Although Americans — including Utahns — consistently pick the rose as their favorite flower and King just as consistently has won awards for his roses from City Weekly, QSaltLake and others, King prefers a different flower: Professor Blau iris — a pale blue-purple member of this manyhued species. When asked if he has a least favorite, he says no. “Well, except for the skunk flower,” he says, referring to a large, ugly and unusual plant with a very appropriate name. King’s love for all flowers began when he was a child living on a cattle ranch in southern Colorado. After school he would help his grandmother, who owned Forget-Me-Not Flowers, a tiny floral shop she ran out of her house. “It was pretty, and different from the ranch,” he says. Although King had always loved flowers, he only found himself thinking about working with them for a living after graduating from Brigham Young University with a bachelor’s degree in psychology. King says that he soon discovered he “wasn’t any good” at his job. “I was too empathetic, and you can’t be that way,” he

explains. “I’d take their problems home and lose sleep and dwell.” At first, King worked for local shops like Neff Floral. But he quickly discovered that he wanted his own store. In 1989, Flower Exchange opened its doors on 900 W. 900 South, where it would remain for over two decades. Its catchier name came along in 1993, when King also briefly considered calling it “Stems Flower Co.” “I thought Twigs was easier to remember,” says King. “[The customers] just held onto it.” At one point, Twigs had locations in Cottonwood Mall and Trolley Square. Wanting to concentrate on quality over quantity, King closed those down by 2000 and moved in with Cahoots at the 9th and 9th District. Today, his shop is located in Sugarhouse at 1616 S 1100 East. Along with individual blossoms for those looking to surprise a friend or liven up a room, King also sells a variety of vases, garden decorations, fruit baskets, and even self-described “junk food baskets,” along with flower arrangements for any occasion imaginable. And while King has created wreathes, bouquets and centerpieces for everything from funerals to luaus, he says that his favorite events are weddings and commitment ceremonies. For one wedding, he flew in a special kind of peony from Israel. The reason? The bride-tobe has fond memories of their smell. “If it adds to the celebration of that day, that’s great,” he says. “Often [people marrying] have planned this day for years, and often they have an exact idea of what it looks like.” When he is not creating custom arrangements or corsages, King still spends his time working with flowers, plants and chickens. His home, he says, currently has three gardens — one for roses, one for vegetables, and one for what he calls “mixed flowers,” or different kinds of flowers

growing side-by-side. “I’ve got a lot of space,” he laughs. He also is passionate about bees. As one flew up while we were outside his shop, he readily named its species. “I’ve become somewhat of a beekepper,” he smiled. Ray has also been an avid supporter of the Utah AIDS Foundation and other LGBT-related groups, providing arrangements for decades of events, as well as being a counselor for UAF. “I’ve advertised in gay publications for many, many years,” he said. “I believe it is important to support our community.” As he celebrated same-sex marriage being declared legal across the country, he remembered why such a triumph is needed. “I cried, even though I know it was a day of celebration,” he said. “We are finally equal with everyone else and yet my mind went back to 1989 and a sweet, dear friend, who lay dying at Holy Cross Hospital was asking for his partner of 11 years to be by his side … and was denied. Yes, I cried because this is too late to help them and yet we now know this will never happen again. Thank God for those wonderful people who never gave up and fought the good fight.” When the weather is nice, King enjoys camping, hiking, biking and hanging out with his friends for an outdoor brunch. During the brutal Utah winters, he is still surrounded by flowers. “In here, it’s always spring,” he says. Q

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

food & drink This Summer, Make Room for Chillable, Gulpable Reds BY DAVID WHITE

Greetings

from Ocean City, New Jersey. This past Saturday, I checked into a rental house for the week with some friends. Since Ocean City is a dry town, we came with plenty of beer and wine, along with ingredients for a few basic cocktails. While prepping dinner on the first night, we opened our first wine — a rosé of Pinot Noir from Pascal and Nicolas Reverdy, two brothers who produce some of the best wine in Sancerre. After sitting down to eat, we decided to open a red. So we pulled the cork on a bottle of Refosco from Matthiasson Wines, a small, family operation in Napa Valley. It had been in the refrigerator for about two hours and so was quite cold. But nothing about the serving temperature struck any of us as wrong; it was lipsmackingly delicious.

This time of year, light reds deserve a spot in the fridge and on the table. Such a concept might seem foreign. After all, when consumers think of chilled wines, they tend to think of whites and rosés. And for most Americans, a light, brisk red is an oxymoron. Reds are supposed to be dark, powerful, and served alongside steak. But plenty of reds shine when chilled. Take Gamay, the red variety from Beaujolais. Famed wine importer Kermit Lynch once described the wines of Domaine Diochon, a producer there, as “juicily delicious,” praising them for having “a lush, supple, swallowable texture.” This description can be used for virtually every top Beaujolais. The best examples effortlessly combine vibrant acidity with depth and complexity. And they sing when served slightly cold. (If you’re scratching your head, then you’re probably thinking of Beaujolais Nouveau, the easy drinking, fruity wine that floods ashore every November and is almost always insipid.) Elsewhere in France, the Jura’s reds — which consist mainly of Poulsard, Pinot Noir,

BEER You’re Here. NUT You Make Beer.

and Trousseau — demand to be chilled. This region is becoming quite popular with wine enthusiasts. Beaujolais and the Jura are both quite cool. On the viticultural edge, grapes struggle to ripen, so it’s nearly impossible to produce big reds. Consequently, the indigenous grapes tend to be lightbodied, supple, and energetic. Take Zweigelt and Blaufrankisch, Austria’s all-star reds. They’re spicy and brooding, yet light on their feet. Or look at Lagrein, which hails from to Alto Adige in northeast Italy. It’s deep and plummy but rarely heavy. Refosco, which hails from FriuliVenezia Giulia, the northern Italian wine region that borders Slovenia and Austria, is similar. All these grapes take to a chill. And

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notably, they’re all low in tannins. If a wine is too tannic, that’s all you’ll taste once it’s cold. So don’t stock your refrigerators with Barolo and Napa Cabernet. If you’re looking for something with a bit more oomph, Grenache, Barbera, and even some Zinfandel can handle a brisk serving temperature. When the mercury rises, wine enthusiasts in France cry out for “vins de soif,” a term that describes wines that are thirstquenching and gulpable. Plenty of reds fit that description. And they belong on the summertime drinks menu. Q David White is the founder and editor of Terroirist.com, named “Best Overall Wine Blog” at the 2013 Wine Blog Awards at GrapeCollective.com.

FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

Dining Guide DODO RESTAURANT  thedodorestaurant.com 1355 E 2100 South 801-486-2473 A unique neighborhood bistro with a relaxed sense of style. A staple of the Salt Lake experience for more than 30 years as a neighborhood gathering place. Our American Bistro menu and fine selection of local ales and wines are complimented with a casual upscale warm environment.

EGGS IN THE CITY 1675 E 1300 S 801-581-0809 Breakfast or lunch in a friendly, warm and hip environment. The converted garage is now a stylish, enticing eatery. Try the eggs Benedict, French toast, custom-tailored omelets, huevos rancheros or cheese

blintzes for breakfast.

MAZZA MIDDLE EASTERN CUISINE  mazzacafe.com 15th&15th 801.484.9259 9th&9th 801.521.4572 Enjoy fresh, authentic Middle Eastern cuisine such as Falafel, Shawarma, Kebabs, dips and salads. Vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free options.

OFF TRAX  offtraxslc.com 259 W 900 S, 801-364-4307 Home of the Happy Hangover. Breakfast, lunch. Sunday brunch and weekend after-hours. Gayowned and operated. Next to Club Try-Angles.

OMAR’S RAWTOPIA  omarsrawtopia.com 2148 S Highland Dr 801-486-0332 Omar prepares all raw, live and organic food from scratch with absolute love to create amazing

food that is powerfully healing for your mind, body, and spirit.

SAGE’S CAFE  sagescafe.com 234 W 900 S 801-322-3790 Sage’s Cafe relocated to the Central 9th Business District in the original and iconic Jade Cafe.

SQUATTERS PUB BREWERY  squatters.com 147 W 300 S, 801-363-2739 1900 Park Ave, Park City 435-649-9868 Salt Lake’s original brew pub featuring award-winning fresh brewed beers, lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. Private banquet facilities available.

TAKASHI  offtraxslc.com 18 W Market St 801-519-9595 Open for lunch, dinner or cocktails, Takashi has been the QSaltLake

FOR PEOPLE TO COME IN AND HAVE A BITE TO EAT. COFFEE BURGERS SANDWICHES SOUPS SALADS APPETIZERS BREAKFAST BRUNCH POOL TABLE VIDEO GAMES OPEN Mon-Thur 8a–6p Friday 7a-3p AND After Bar Closing Fridays and Saturdays

259 W 900 S 801 364-4307

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readers’ choice for sushi in Salt Lake City since the Fabby Awards were invented. Open til 10pm Mon–Thurs., 11pm Fri and Sat. Closed Sunday

VERTICAL DINER 2280 S West Temple 801-484-8378 Vegan diner serving down-home comfort food and breakfast all day. Specialties include fried faux chicken, blueberry pancakes, and hand cut french fries. Also serving fair trade coffee, tea, chocolate, and more.

WASATCH BREW PUB  wasatchbeers.com 250 Main, Park City 435-645-0900 At the top of Main Street and a local favorite since 1989, Wasatch Brew Pub serves lunch, dinner and weekend brunch, along with award winning beers and full liquor service. Private banquet facilities available.

Next to Club Try-Angles, Half Block from TRAX in the NEW Gayborhood!

Home of the Happy Hangover Sunday Brunch 11am–2pm Q PON

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

hear me out gay writes

Fire Island red cabbage BY THOMAS CUSHMAN

1 head red cabbage, cored and sliced into one inch strips 1 small onion, sliced 8 ounces bacon 1 lemon ¼ cup brown sugar, firmly packed 2 tablespoons white or apple cider vinegar I first came across red cabbage in Germany where, for strange and specific reasons unimportant to this remembrance, I spent quite a bit of time in my late teens and early 20s. I was a Midwestern boy, and it was the early ’80s and any dish that did not involve white bread or American cheese or hamburger was exotic. So, red cabbage was completely unknown to me. I loved it. When I was finally able to start college full time, at age 24, I studied German (of course) and international politics and, most of all, journalism. It was in a J class where I first came across the writer Joan Didion. Her works of fiction, essays and autobiographies are numerous, and each one is significant, and her style is an effortless combination of realism, concern and hardbitten intellectualism. Her collection of essays from the 1960s, “Slouching Towards Bethlehem”, is a seminal work that changed my understanding of what happened during that time of radical upheaval. She also, as it turns out, likes red cabbage. In one of her essays, she mentions making red cabbage on Fire Island one summer. Fill a large pan with water to a depth of one inch Stir in the vinegar, add the sliced cabbage, bring water to a boil. Reduce heat and continue simmering until the cabbage is just tender. Drain cabbage, set aside. College is also where I met Dan. He was a friend of friends and one of the few other openly gay students my age on campus. We became very good friends and I remember (parts of) several evenings at the New French Café where we’d go to celebrate after each round of finals. I put back a lot of scotch in that little bar. Dan usually drank vodka. Eventually, Dan took a big job in New

York, and it was at his going-away party where I met Kent. Dan and Kent had been frat brothers for a short time, and they’d stayed close. Quite quickly, Kent and I also became good friends, mostly because we have so damn much in common, but also because Dan would invite us to come to New York together each summer and stay with him for a week. We went to Fire Island, where Dan always rented a summer house. While the cabbage simmers begin frying bacon in a large sautee pan. Cook bacon until quite crisp, then remove, leaving the grease in pan. Reduce heat and brown sliced onion in bacon grease. Add brown sugar, stir constantly until dissolved. Paste should have the consistency of syrup; add water or sugar as necessary. I’ve come to realize that many gay Utahns have never heard of New York’s Fire Island even though it has played a central role in the development of Western gay culture. What you need to know is this: Fire Island is the antithesis of Manhattan. It is a rustic, thirty-mile long, half-mile wide strip of sand just a few minutes off the coast of Long Island. The place has about one dozen summer resort communities scattered along it. You cannot get to it by car. You must take a ferry. In fact, cars aren’t even allowed, and the only “roads” are simple wooden boardwalks. The ocean side of The Island is 30 continuous miles of sandy beach. Pine trees work hard to grow there, and dainty deer run through them. Each little community has one small commercial area with a few restaurants, a bar, and maybe one small grocery store the size of a 7-11. Most importantly, no matter where you go on the Island you hear the waves. You fall asleep to the rhythm of the night surf. Two of the resort communities are entirely gay. Don’t ask me how it happened, but it did. You can spend a week on this part of Fire Island and not meet a heterosexual. This is something that almost never, ever happens for us gay people. When it does, it is transformative. You begin to believe that you are not alone, that you are not odd and that you have a place in this world where you belong. Another thing to know about Fire Island is that you must entertain yourself. Dan, Kent and I do this with reading and talking and walking the beach during the day; then

taking turns making a serious dinner each evening so we can sit around the table and eat, drink wine, and talk more. Real talk; talk that helps you understand each other; talk that helps you understand yourself; talk that helps you stake out your place in this world. These nightly house dinners are a tradition up and down the Island, and I assume this is what Ms. Didion was doing when she made her red cabbage out there 50 years ago somewhere just down the beach in one of those other communities. Place the boiled cabbage into the sautee pan with the brown sugar reulle. Crumble the strips of bacon onto the cabbage. Fold cabbage into brown sugar mixture until well-coated. Slice lemon in half and squeeze juice from both halves over the cabbage. Serve warm. There’s really no point to my “story” except this: A recipe starts with a collection of singular ingredients which then have to be sliced and squeezed and heated and stirred until, with a bit of care, they combine into something often quite wonderful. Much the same for life I think: Themes and intentions that begin in childhood combine with characteristics and talents which emerge later and these component parts mix together with coincidence and with the people who come into our lives and the influences we fall under until it all develops into something singular and special; our limited, precious time on this earth; our lives. Dan and Kent and I can’t always end up on Fire Island together for a week each summer anymore, but we did this year, and this time when it was my turn to make dinner, I very intentionally included red cabbage. So, when we raised our glasses for the toast to start dinner, I gave a nod to Joan Didion, someone who helped develop my outlook on this world and who helped feed my love for the written word. And I gave that nod to her while having dinner there on the Island, which has been such a formative part of my gay experience. And I gave that nod to her while I was once again sitting down to dinner with two eternal friends, who have made my time on this earth immeasurably, immeasurably better. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

mr. manners

Returning from a haitis BY ROCK MAGEN

About

once every three years I tend to take a summer to reflect, readjust and make sure that I am generally happy with the chosen course I am on. This is a time for me to see how I have evolved over not only the time since my last break, but also over the last five or 10 years. The question resonating in my mind is, “When I look back at myself what do I see?” Having been extremely aggressive in my career, I am fortunate enough to have moments where I am high enough on my perch of life to have a clear view, and a secret I have learned is that there is no such thing as “the top.” No matter where you are there’s always farther to climb. And believe me that’s a good thing. The place you are right now in your career, in your relationships, in your fitness, in your travel itinerary — is entirely temporary. If you don’t love exactly where you are, rest assured: Things are going to change. And if you do love where you are, remember: Things are going to change. The question is: What’s going to be the driving factor in that change — you or fate? I focus a majority of time on deciding how I will be driving my own fate. As I have reflected on my success (and failures) many of my thoughts seem to trace their way back to personal growth. The largest change I made in my life had to do with deciding to be an entrepreneur of my own time and going from an aimless, drifting

youth to a mature businessman, leader, brother, lover and friend. So how do you do it all? It starts with being highly motivated, conscientious and disciplined. And that motivation comes from a desire to transcend the experiences of your earlier years. Having read memoirs of many successful people, the stories each give firsthand lessons in how to evolve and improve through patience, hard work and a commitment to never give up. I’ve given a lot of “theory,” but the tools for a personal hiatus are simple. They include doing something out of your comfort zone, attending any sort of festival, relaxing or working out on the beach (or mountains for those who love the West) and gathering your friends to do something that only can be explained as “awesome.” Take the time to step away from those things that we do for keeping up social appearances and focus on building something lasting. Get out and let yourself explore and leave behind the club life in order to grow meaningful relationships that last a lifetime — not just a single evening. Tell someone you love them, and mean it. Focus on knowing what you want and leaving no stone unturned — it could be the start which changes your life forever. It’s time to have a ball, to challenge yourself and to keep evolving on every level. After all, a man standing still is hardly a man at all. Q askmrmanners@qsaltlake.com

A NONSEXUAL MALE NUDIST GROUP CAMPOUTS, BBQS, POT LUCKS, MORE UMEN.ORG

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

BRONICORNS! — The adventures of two brothers going to BYU

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

Brought to you by UGSA BYU, by Aaron Austin and Nathan Cunliffe

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER: HINT: HELLO SENATOR

YANK THE NEEDY JUNCTIONS

_______ _______ _______

cryptogram A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED BY CS. THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: Y=N

YV TYOVY OE ZVBR UBVWVTYA GCXY ZXBBOXPR, WVB OG RZLVAORE GCR COPCREG OARXSE VW SVIR, WOARSOGH, ARIVGOVY, EXJBOWOJR, XYA WXZOSH. __ _____ __ ____ ________ ____ ________, ___ __ ________ ___ _______ ______ __ ____, ________, ________, _________, ___ ______. PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 54

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

q scopes

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS ARIES March 20–April 19 The more trust you instill in someone, the more likely you are to be let down. Take control and don’t rely heavily on others. A grand development will appear in the form of an expansive, creative force. Business requires attention, and the way of finding resolution is by doing it alone. There is more to life than fulfilling desires. TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 A cry for help comes from someone close to you. Whether it is a lover or partner, there is little choice but to provide much needed comfort. A massive project will conflict with a seemingly unattainable goal of helping this person find peace of mind. A strong effort and big push will ensure satisfaction is achieved. Be tough.

Secretly Gay ACROSS

1 He comes between Tom and Harry 5 Similar things 9 Flaming queen’s crime? 14 Neighbor of Pakistan 15 East of Eden director Kazan 16 Put it in your mouth with relish 17 What a computer may spit out 18 Italian wine city 19 Taper off 20 Secretly gay rock and roll front man 23 “It’s ___ for Me to Say” (Mathis) 24 Stamp of Priscilla 25 Battlefield cry 27 For skin 29 Slinky shape 32 Vehicles for some dykes 36 Stuff from your shaft 37 What guns shoot off 38 Dryer batch 39 Lech of Greek lore 41 Wharton degs. 42 Holds title to 43 Its head may be enjoyed orally 44 They come during finals week 45 Diggs of _Rent_

46 Treat badly 49 Write The Hot’l Baltimore 51 Some Barber compositions 56 Chop down 58 Secretly gay C&W singer turned pop star 60 I Dream of Jeannie’s Barbara, and others 62 Cut it 63 Regarding 64 “To recap...” 65 His brother laid him in his grave 66 “A Boy Named Sue” writer Silverstein 67 Dull surface 68 Neil Patrick’s award for Hedwig 69 Cocksure Aesop character

DOWN

1 Performed, for Shakespeare   2 About to blow  3 Furnish food   4 Jack on the card table   5 Medium meeting  6 Heavy overcoat  7 Maupin setting for tales   8 Pass to a gay receiver?   9 Oscar, for one 10 Soldier under Stonewall Jackson

11 Secretly gay hip-hop mogul 12 Not taken in by 13 No, to Nureyev 21 They may be split 22 Conger catcher 26 Start of Caesar’s boast 28 Norman Bates’ place 30 “___ your disposal” 31 Bad bottom-line news 32 Rorschach stain 33 The Music Man setting 34 Secretly gay rapper/ entrepreneur 35 Ford flub 39 Fill for you-mouthful 40 Urban pussy 44 Half scores 47 Grand slam title won frequently by Billie Jean King 48 Way to miss 50 “C’est Moi,” to Lancelot 52 Up to one’s ears 53 Campbell of Martin 54 Last word of a fairy tale 55 Got to second base, perhaps 56 Lammy winner Scott 57 Harvey’s Hairspray role 59 Western wolf 61 Testicle, in slang ANSWERS ON PAGE 78

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 When fur is flying, it’s likely due to a cat fight. Don’t get involved in matters concerning friends until things calm down. In the meantime, focus on what matters most. Start a business or get involved with the local church. Do what it takes to keep the focus on improving yourself. Then work on helping others and provide gifts. SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Listen to criticisms with an open mind, but consider the source. Doing opposite can be best if a source is unreliable. A fork in the road presents itself when choosing between two people, but it may be possible to have your cake and eat it too. Though it may sound sketchy, there’s nothing wrong with trying to have it all..

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Lift your spirits with a muchneeded vacation. The further you go, the better you’ll feel. Work and career matters are bound to cause headaches, and getting away is the best therapy. It’s not about running away, but finding a new perspective. An internal change can influence the external world, so dream big!

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20. Don’t charge too quickly into a hostile situation. A boss or superior officer isn’t in the mood to be dominated. Take a moment and prepare for a more submissive approach. Patience will be rewarded with a big payoff. Family members will reach out for some much needed compliments. Don’t be afraid of being kind.

CANCER June 21–July 22 A tight grasp from friend provides guiding lights in a place of darkness. While obligations are smothering right now, there is always a way out. A business or work matter is bound to cause strain, but even a good stretch always starts out painful and ends in relief. Don’t fight against the current, no matter how fast it flows.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 There isn’t a lot on the table, so you need to look hard to get fun times rolling. There’s a first time for every experience and a pivotal event is in store for you this month. Keep an open mind and a new opportunity will present itself. Friends question your decisions, but ultimately understand you do your own thing

LEO July 23–August 22 The calm before the storm is a lullaby. Resist the urge to relax because you’ll get caught with your pants down as things speed up. But taking a casual attitude could do you good, especially when dealing with family and co-workers. Mind the opinions of others but put your needs first. A storm is coming so prepare for it.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 You are far more likely to crash and burn if you don’t get a grip on a whirlwind of emotions. Many people have noticed a tendency in you to lose control when the going gets tough. Rejuvenate with a good friend. Get some needed rest or perform recreational activities. Bed is a good place to do both, so get the party on.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 Multiple options will come available regarding a big decision. Ramifications of a choice could be huge, so don’t settle without thinking. The most obvious choice is not necessarily the right one. Dive into life with a spirit of adventure. Finances are on the line, so spend wisely and conserve. Saving today makes tomorrow better.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 How far you go depends on how much you can take. A little space leads to big improvements in matters of the heart. Though not overbearing, a loved one or family member could be unintentionally demanding. Calm them with sweet words and take the drama out of a tense situation. Kill the fear with cheer and smile big. Q

CLASSIFIEDS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

august 2015 | issue 246

the bookworm sez BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

“AFTER WOODSTOCK” BY ELLIOT TIBER C.2015, SQUARE ONE PUBLISHERS $24.95 U.S. 462 PAGES

You can do it all. That’s what we’re told these days, from the time we’re able to understand language until the moment we run out of life. You can become whatever you want, they say, with a little luck and hard work - and so author Elliot Tiber did. In his memoir “After Woodstock,” he shares. Though their decision to purchase and operate a run-down motel in upstate New York was a disaster from the beginning, Elliot Tiber’s parents refused to give up the “shambles of a resort” they’d dreamed of owning. Tiber, a dutiful Jewish son, “had been sucked into this black hole” fourteen years earlier, and he was stuck. But in the summer of ’69, something “just short of a miracle” happened: Woodstock. For more than a week, the motel was full of guests (at $750 a night) and when it was over, the hippies were gone, and the mud was cleaned up, the family was flush with cash. Seizing opportunity, Tiber took his share and left “my largely miserable past behind.” He bought a new Cadillac and headed for Los Angeles, where two friends had invited him to live with them in exchange for decorating an old mansion they’d bought. Tiber was also excited to see the HOLLYWOOD sign: “the letters weren’t exactly straight; well, neither was I.”

Months after arriving, though, it was apparent that California wasn’t the place he ought to be. Tiber’s father was dying, so Tiber returned to New York, mourned his father, fought with his mother, sold the motel for her, and fell in love with a Belgian student who had to return home after his studies were done. Months later, Tiber followed André to Europe, learned French, and started writing in earnest: TV skits, movie scripts, and memoirs. But true love never runs smoothly, of course, and though they enjoyed dancing at leather clubs together, André started going alone. Tiber never knew exactly what André was doing but he had his suspicions, and since a “gay disease” was rumored to be circulating, Tiber was concerned… After reading “After Woodstock,” I think you’ll agree that author Elliot Tiber is the Forrest Gump of gay memoirs. Tiber has done it all: organized Woodstock, crossed the Mafia, hobnobbed with celebs, made movies, appeared on TV, the list goes on and on. It’s almost exhausting – maybe because this book could have easily been two books: Tiber packs a lot – an awful lot – into this memoir, which can be overwhelming. Yes, he’s got a wicked funny bone, and yes, this is an appealing look at gay life from the Stonewall years forward, but it can be too much. While I didn’t not like this book, there were times when I needed a break from that frenzy. I think stop-and-go readers will be able to get past the rompishness of this tale, and biography lovers will easily be able to ignore it. If, in fact, you like a little madness with your memoir, find “After Woodstock” and you’ll have it all. Q

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

positive thoughts

Passing the Test BY ORIOL R. GUTIERREZ JR.

Getting

tested for HIV nowadays is a snap. In the era of over-the-counter rapid in-home testing, I’m befuddled why so many gay men, especially young guys, lack awareness of their HIV status. I suppose part of the answer, at least for young guys, is plain old feelings of invincibility. All young and young-minded folks share in those feelings. Perhaps, for some guys, not knowing gives them license to say they’re HIV negative, since for all they know they are. For others, perhaps not knowing insulates them from any potential pain of a positive result. I could keep that list going, but the point is that countless reasons exist for not knowing. Many of those reasons may even seem reasonable. Well, I’m here to tell you that no reason you can come up with is a good one. Maybe you’re just a procrastinator. No matter. I’m a world-class procrastinator myself. Procrastination isn’t a good reason. Being fine with getting tested in theory but delaying doing so in practice is only asking for trouble.

Knowing your HIV status is crucial. If you test negative, you have incentive to stay that way. If you test positive, you can start the process of staying healthy. Better to know now than to be blindsided later. Although I’ve been living with HIV for more than two decades, I still remember what it’s like to get tested for the virus. The fear is understandable, but it shouldn’t stop you. Your health is paramount. I passed my first HIV test with flying colors: Negative. At the time, I had just turned 21 and boy was I psyched. I was cleared for duty, so to speak, as well as legal to drink. Watch out world, here I come. However, I was more careful this time around. Before that test, I hadn’t always adhered to the condom rule, although I knew the risks. Now that I was given this reprieve, I was determined not to squander it. A year later, I failed my second HIV test: Positive. I found out the day after my 22nd birthday. My commanding officer in the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve read my diagnosis from a script. Cold, but tactful. I knew the positive result was correct, but denial took over. I retested twice before accepting the reality of my situation. At that moment, I started believing that I was going to die before I turned 30. It was 1992. Effective HIV treatment wouldn’t arrive until 1996 and AIDSrelated deaths were still increasing. The death of my boyfriend in 1994 only increased my fear that I wouldn’t live much longer. Fast-forward over two decades. Turns out I’m still here and I plan on being here for a long time. Failing that HIV test wasn’t the end of the world, but I must admit that I still wish that I had passed it. I’ve learned to live with

HIV in my body, but the virus remains an unwelcome guest. If the cure for HIV was here tomorrow, I would quickly get in line. I have no romantic attachment to the virus. I also have no attachment to any resentment about getting HIV. Despite my late boyfriend not telling me the truth about his being HIV positive, I agreed not to use condoms with him. We both shared in that decision. I’m not alone. Much of why the epidemic continues can be explained by folks not knowing their status and transmitting HIV unintentionally, but also by couples who ditch condoms before they know for sure each is negative. You could argue that my late boyfriend had a moral imperative to disclose his HIV status that was higher than my moral imperative to protect myself. Perhaps you could even be right. However, even after all this time, I still haven’t decided. What I have decided, now having lived more than half of my life with HIV, is that I did the right thing for myself by forgiving him. I believe he never intended to transmit HIV, so forgiving him wasn’t too difficult for me. The anger I felt toward him in the first few years after I seroconverted was soon trumped by the experience of now being in his shoes. Not pretty. Rejection was everywhere. The stigma was stifling. I now understood. And I still understand. Little has changed when it comes to HIV stigma. Not only has the virus proven resistant to a cure, it also has resisted decades of attempts to eradicate the stigma surrounding it. Strangely enough, I believe testing regularly for HIV would do wonders in stomping out stigma. If everyone did it, and did it often, folks would finally start feeling like it’s not so scary. Peer pressure at its best. Q Oriol R. Gutierrez Jr. is the editor-in-chief of POZ magazine. Find him on Twitter @oriolgutierrez. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body, QSaltLake and Q Syndicate.

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

fitness

Season’s Grillings BY TYSON DALEY

Any

meathead will tell you about protein’s importance in building a killer beach body. That same bro-scientist might also suggest downing a protein shake after each of your chicken breast meals to really maximize your gains. More protein, more muscle, right? Maybe there can be too much of a good thing … try, DEFINITELY. Questions regarding how much and what types of protein to eat are some of the most common floating around the gym. This isn’t a one size fits all situation but based on your goals and some basic guidelines you can find what will be best for you. • For those with musclebuilding goals, 1 to 1.25 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight will satisfy your daily needs. • 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight will suffice for

those looking to maintain a healthy weight. • If weight loss is your goal then shoot for .75 to 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight. For those with a large amount of weight to lose keeping your protein intake relatively close to a healthy bodyweight will be ideal. The type of protein plays a less important part than the quantity of protein. Protein from eggs (whole or whites), fish, chicken, turkey or lean red meats are all great whole food options. Protein shakes or bars based on whey, egg, soy or casein are also great sources to increase your daily intake. Hopefully this will help in your next visit to the grocery store and the fridge. So fire up the grill and enjoy your high protein summer! Q Tyson Dayley trains clients at the Sugar House 24 Hour Fitness by appointment. He is also available for private training in noncommercial settings. He can be reached at tyson@ qsaltlake.com

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLITY

gaysaltlake.com | issue 246 | august 2015

the frivolist

25 perfect summer songs for your poolside playlist BY MIKEY ROX

Slip on

your swimsuit, break out the blender and pump up the jams. Today you’re kickin’ it poolside with a freshly selected and eclectic playlist that screams fun in the sun.

ing to Woodstock – and this quintessential summer song that captures the innocence of American adolescence – it’s no wonder why Adams belted out that this was “the best day of my life.”

Don’t resist this remix; submit to the overlords.

‘SUMMERTIME,’ DJ JAZZY JEFF & THE FRESH PRINCE

‘ONE LOVE,’ LUCKY DUBE

‘THIS SUMMER’S GONNA HURT,’ MAROON 5

There’s not a chance in hell you’ll make it to Labor Day without this warm-weather classic infiltrating your ears. That goes double if you run in hipster circles where early-’90s nostalgia is all the rage. (You can thank BuzzFeed for that.)

‘AMBER,’ 311 Laid back with reggae roots, this turn-ofthe-century love note to Nicole Scherzinger remains 311’s most popular song, despite it never cracking the Top 10.

‘FLY,’ SUGAR RAY Remember the time that Mark McGrath’s SoCal surfer-meets-rockstar style made your loins quiver. That’s a statement, not a question.

‘SUMMER GIRLS,’ LYTE FUNKIE ONES The song is nonsensical and juvenile – but that’s precisely what made it so popular the summer of ‘99. You’re welcome, Abercrombie & Fitch.

‘JAMIACAN BETEL NUT,’ AMIT Aside from the hook (an encouraging “Get up! Stand up!”) and a reference to Bob Marley, the lyrics to this genre-bending T-Pop song are in Thai. But that’s OK – because it’s the beat that’ll have you like, ‘Where the beach party at?’

‘GOOD PEOPLE,’ JACK JOHNSON J.J. asks, “Where’d all the good people go?” Put your phone down and reacquaint yourself with a few that are near you.

‘SUMMER OF ‘69,’ BRYAN ADAMS You may not remember it – for one of many reasons – but the summer of ‘69 had a lion’s share of awesomeness. From the moon land-

Life would be so much sweeter if we lived in a world according to Lucky Dube.

‘LIFE IN THE FAST LANE,’ EAGLES Enjoy the summer at a slower pace? Nah – that’s what winter is for.

‘LOVELY DAY,’ BILL WITHERS If you’re by the pool with your besties, it is.

‘KOKOMO,’ BEACH BOYS You didn’t think I’d create a sunshine-y playlist without the Beach Boys, did you? While “Kokomo” and its promises of “bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in your hand” top our list of BB faves, close runners up include “Good Vibrations,” “Surfin’ U.S.A.,” and (the likely relatable) “I Get Around.”

‘SHUT UP AND DANCE,’ WALK THE MOON Do what they say and nobody gets hurts.

‘CAN’T DENY MY LOVE,’ BRANDON FLOWERS Admittedly there’s somewhat of a stalkerish vibe to this ‘80s-tinged lead single from Flowers’ second studio album, but we’ve all been there. Especially when you’re crushin’ on that lifeguard who’s sun-kissed and dripping wet.

‘MY TYPE,’ SAINT MOTEL Let me guess, your type is the one over there with the beach-blond hair and abs that ripple like steam from a sidewalk. Full of surprises, aren’t ya?

‘TRAP QUEEN,’ FETTY WAP Crank it up in the grotto. You won’t regret it.

‘BAD BLOOD,’ TAYLOR SWIFT FEAT. KENDRICK LAMAR Did you really think you’d get through this summer without a T. Swift banger on repeat?

‘CAN’T KEEP CHECKING MY PHONE,’ UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA Make this your motto – stat! Enjoy… your… life… more.

Skip the track and cue up the Vevo instead. Adam Levine’s naked bum makes summer days brighter.

‘ON THE REGULAR,’ SHAMIR If I had to choose just one song on this list, this would be it – hands down. Energetic, upbeat, sassy and fun, Shamir’s “On the Regular” puts your iPod on lock. Besides, anybody who describes himself as a “musician, comedian, singer, rapper, twerker, chef, writer, filmmaker, tumblr, skinny fat ass” is A-OK in my book.

‘THE BOYS OF SUMMER,’ DON HENLEY Government-mandated listening when the mercury is above 90.

‘FANCY,’ IGGY AZALEA Say what you will about Iggy – just don’t pretend this song doesn’t make you all swishy, gurl.

‘RUN,’ COIN For that extra pep you’ll need to complete the canyon before you can get your dip on.

‘GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS,’ PANIC! AT THE DISCO Because a bare-chested Brendon Urie is what dope summers are made of.

‘UNTIL WE CAN’T GO (LET’S GO),’ PASSION PIT Wait for it… wait for it… Ah, there we go.

‘AND WE DANCED,’ MACKLEMORE FEAT. ZIGGY STARDUST For that end-of-the-night pants off danceoff. It’s been a loooong day. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert. He spends his time with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

august 2015 | issue 246 | gaysaltlake.com

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