QSaltLake November 2015

salt lake magazine

UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

November 2015 Issue 249 GaySaltLake.com FREE

ANNUAL DINING GUIDE • TABLE RULES • TRANS MIDVALE CITY COUINCIL CANDIDATE • SELENA GOMEZ

2 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

It’s amazing what a little LOVE can do…

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST PERSON

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

from the publisher

We shall overcome … with love

BY MICHAEL AARON

It’s again

#6 Queerest City in America The Advocate

Equality Utah Endorsed Equality Utah

STAN PENFOLD, Salt Lake City Councilman

BRANDIE BALKEN, Former Executive Director of Equality Utah

BRUCE BASTIAN, Former Executive Director of Equality Utah

JANE & TAMI MARQUARDT, Utah Pride Center and Equality Utah Board of Directors

MIKE THOMPSON, Former Executive Director of Equality Utah DONNA WEINHOLTZ, Capital 13 Member

TERRY KOGAN, Law professor and Equality Utah Advisory Board Member

STEPHANIE PAPPAS, Former Chair of Equality Utah Board of Directors

a time of transition.

Blazing bright yellow-sunned days are giving way to cool golden yellow-sunned mornings with the ground covered in dew. While we can cry for the loss of summer, it’s inevitable that months of cold are in front of us.

As I write this, I am preparing to attend several days of the World Congress of Religions in our fair city. We’ve known this was coming for a long time and we are braced for what will happen there.

My feeling is that these people are coming to terms with the fact that the world is changing on them. While they can cry for the loss of their power over our community, it’s inevitable that the days of acceptance are in front of them.

I believe that the longer we puff our chests to engage them in their hate, the longer it will be before they come to this realization. I believe the way to engage them is in a loving way, much like a mother coaxes and comforts a child on their way to a bath.

The tools of social media are bringing out some of the worst behaviors our society is made to endure. Passive aggression, embellishments and outright lies are spread to bolster our “side.” The anonymity of a keyboard and screen bereft of the physical face of your “foes” and its reaction polarizes and removes compassion from the argument.

When Kentucky clerk Kim Davis was refusing to issue marriage licenses because of the Supreme Court’s decision

on same-sex marriage, the response wasn’t a rush to help her understand the changes in the world, it was to crush her.

People went after her appearance, the way she dressed, her divorces, her “hick” husband, her “wacky” beliefs. The bullied became the bullies.

In turn, her supporters turned and pointed a finger at the ugliness spewed at her and made her a martyr for her cause. A poster child for the uncompassionate demanding compassion. There was enough grain of truth in what they said that the argument had legs and has become their new battle cry.

I remember reading a story many years ago where it was asked why all protesters were so unattractive. Of course, as a protester, I protested. But I pondered on it and came to the conclusion that it is difficult to look good with a face contorted in rage.

As WCF9 attendees come to our state, it will be interesting to see what faces representing “our side” will make it on the airwaves. Will it be an angerwrenched face of hate, or will it be a compassionate face of understanding? Understanding that these people are grasping a past that is slipping through their hands.

Our country has changed and love has won. As we condemn those with religious beliefs who have shown little compassion from the pulpits, we should be condemned if we show little compassion from the streets.

This is how we can ensure love wins across the globe. Q

STAFF | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

staffbox publisher/editor Michael Aaron

copy editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan, Steven Simmons contributors Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Lynn Beltran, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Tyson Daley, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Princess Kennedy, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Peter Stoker, Marci Taylor-Rizzi, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski

Many thanks to everyone who made Northern Utah’s

FIRST such PRIDE FESTIVAL a huge success!

Our Major Sponsors

Our Super Organizing Team

And Thanks To

Sarah McClellan Mojave Nomads Northern Utah Coalition Provo Pride QSaltLake Tom Robin Sign Garage Swire Coca-Cola Kaye Lynn Terry Angelina Union-Devo Utah Repertory Theater Co. Christopher Wood And all of our wonderful volunteers!

Equality Utah Summit Group Matrons of Mayhem Zions Bank

Liz Eyre Porsha Freston Skyler Hokanson Dana Mace Jacy Morgan-Barnum Mandeep Singh

distribution Jason Van Campen, Tad Wada publisher

Salt Lick Publishing LLC. 222 S Main St, Ste 500 Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-649-6663 Contact emails: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

Check us out online at: GAYSALTLAKE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/QSALTLAKE TWITTER @QSALTLAKE

QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2015, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 10,000 copies of QSaltLake Magazine are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the Wasatch Front.

Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake Magazine is not to be construed as any indication of the person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when you are through with it.

The Alter Egos Angelika Bertrand Jackson Carter Cheer Salt Lake City of Ogden Leo Cody Kevan Floyd Idlewire Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah Jump to Fun Locally Twisted

Watch for even bigger and better OGDEN PRIDE 2016!

Ogden Pride Board of Directors: Jeffrey Lensman (president), Gage Church, Ali Johnson, Tim Sharp, Tanner Snow

Jackson Carter (emcee),

Jacy Morgan-Barnum (organizing team member), Jackson Carter (emcee), Ash Morgan-Barnum (volunteer)

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Canada elects a pro-gay, feminist Prime Minister Canada has a new prime minister, one noted most for his progressive political views, being a self-proclaimed feminist and passionate advocate for LGBT rights. JUSTIN TRUDEAU of the Liberal Party won Canada’s highly anticipated election, besting incumbent Stephen Harper, a member of the Conservative Party, and Tom Mulcair of the leftist New Democratic Party.

“We’re celebrating 10 years of taking the decision the Supreme Court in the U.S. just took,” Trudeau said during an interview with Canada’s Global News at Toronto Pride this year, shortly after the U.S. marriage equality decision. “It’s a great day for freedom. It’s wonderful to see political leaders, celebrating this.”

Gay man sues FAA for discrimination A gay man who formerly worked for the Federal Aviation Administration is suing the government agency for discrimination.

DAVID BALDWIN, who worked at the FAA’s control tower at Miami International Airport, filed suit in U.S. District Court in Florida, alleging he was passed over for promotions and subjected to a hostile environment because he’s gay, BuzzFeed reported. He happens to be the man whose case led to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission’s ruling this summer that existing civil rights law’s ban on gender discrimination also bans discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Rand Paul ‘regrets’ saying LGBT workers should stay in the closet Republican presidential contender RAND PAUL now says he doesn’t think people should be fired on the basis of sexual ori-

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.) entation, following criticism for remarks suggesting LGBT people should remain in the closet to avoid workplace discrimination, the Washington Blade reports.

The U.S. senator from Kentucky clarified his comments about LGBT people last week, during an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, saying he regrets his choice of words. “I might have been able to word it better, but I don’t think [being gay] should enter the decision at all.”

HRC leader denounces lone Democratic congressmen who supports anti-gay bill Human Rights Campaign president Chad Griffin denounced a Chicago congressman who is the only Democrat cosponsoring the anti-LGBT First Amendment Defense Act, saying U.S. REP. DAN LIPINSKI’s support of the bill is “an attack on our families … and his own constituents.”

The legislation would prevent federal agencies from penalizing individuals, businesses, or organizations for taking actions based on religious or moral opposition to

marriage equality, essentially providing a license to discriminate against same-sex couples.

If the bill becomes law, it will cause “a complete breakdown of protections” against discrimination, said Griffin.

Its passage would happen only if Republicans control both houses of Congress and the presidency. A nearly identical bill introduced in 2013 went nowhere.

TSA to stop using ‘anomaly’ in describing trans* passengers The Transportation Security Administration will stop using the word “anomaly” to describe trans* passengers, the agency said. The agency, which has removed an entire section on how to handle trans* passengers from its website, agreed to stop using the term after SHADOW PETOSCARY, a trans* woman, complained online about her experience in September at an Orlando airport. She protested via Twitter after airport security held her for 40 minutes because of an “anomaly,” aka her penis, was detected when she walked through the full body scanner.

The change was cheered by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.

Pastor Urges Boycott of ‘Sodomite-Friendly’ Businesses The rabidly homophobic PASTOR JAMES DAVID MANNING, having railed against Starbucks for allegedly putting “the semen of sodomites” in its coffee, is now calling for a boycott of all “sodomite-controlled” or “sodomite-friendly” businesse.

“The sodomites … with the Supreme Court approval and a sodomite in the White House, think they now have America under their absolute thumb and control,” he said in a new video.

Manning presented at the World Congress of Families in Salt Lake City.

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Mayor Ralph Becker, left, and Jackie Biskupski at an LGBT forum hosted by QSaltLake.

PHOTO: TRAVIS BURROUGHS

Split decision among LBGT leaders in tight SLC mayor’s race Endorsements are part of any political campaign. The thought is that elected officials, activists and cognoscenti supporting a candidate must know something. If you were hoping for a clean decision in the Salt Lake City Mayor’s race between Mayor Ralph Becker and challenger Jackie Biskupski , you are hoping in vain.

In the Mayor’s corner are a bevy elected officials, LGBTQ community activists, stalwarts and donors. In Jackie’s corner, well much the same.

In an op ed in the Salt Lake Tribune September 27, the following endorsed Mayor Becker: STAN PENFOLD, executive director of the Utah AIDS Foundation and Salt Lake City Council District 3 representative; BRANDIE BALKEN executive director of Equality Utah from 2009 to 2014 BRUCE BASTIAN , member of the Human Rights Campaign board of directors, philanthropist and leader in the LGBTQ community JANE AND TAMI MARQUARDT, longtime lesbian activists and founders of the Peace and Possibility Project MIKE THOMPSON, executive director of Equality Utah from 2005 to 2009 DONNA WEINHOLTZ, former board chair of EU and proud member of the Capitol 13 TERRY KOGAN, University of Utah law professor and former board member of EU, UPC, and many others.

One week earlier a group of LGBT leaders stood on the steps of the City Building and endorsed Jackie, among the many were: Utah State Senator JAMES DABAKIS Salt Lake County Councilman ARLYN BRADSHAW Restore our Humanity Chair MARK LAWRENCE

BECKY MOSS of Stonewall Democrats DR. KRISTIN REIS, doctor for HIV patients for decades JARED RUGA, up-and-coming young activist Not among the endorsers of either candidate was the current leadership of Equality Utah. They had just issued their endorsement and they endorsed both candidates.

The Tribune op ed endorsing Becker said the endorsement was because, “No public official can claim more tangible success in advancing equality for Utah’s LGBTQ residents than a straight ally: Mayor Becker. The mayor has consistently shown the leadership to propose and successfully follow through on multiple civil rights advancements. Despite the prospect of losing support among some residents, he has been steadfast and courageous in putting his political career on the line.”

They cited his activity in the state legislature and as Mayor that have been specific policy wins for LBGTQ: Mayor Becker established Utah’s first mutual commitment registry in 2008. Allowing LGBTQ individuals and others to record their domestic partnership, qualifying as spouses for health coverage and other benefits Mayor Becker quickly followed up by extending benefits to the same sex partners of City employees In 2009 and 2010 Mayor Becker proposed and ordinances prohibiting employment and housing discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity Mayor Becker created a series of “Dialogues on Discrimination” Jackie’s supporters cited the personal journey of the candidate as their reason for support:

Several endorsers spoke at a Sunday morning press conference that Biskupski, the first openly gay woman ever elected to the Utah House, “can bring her unique perspective and more inclusiveness to city government.”

Dabakis said, “There are a lot of people… that don’t feel a part. They feel as though there is a cap on their possibility in life and one of the reasons I’m voting for Jackie Biskupski is because she represents so many in our state that aren’t represented yet. Not just about being a lesbian and being a single mother and being a woman, but to represent all of those in our city and in our county and in our state that feel as though they’re voiceless, and their perspective is not heard.”

Bradshaw noted Jackie’s tenure in the Utah Legislature inspired him. “It filled me with hope that my sexuality was not a barrier to the things that I wanted to accomplish.”

He related that he meet Biskupski as an intern during her tenure as a state lawmaker and was impressed with her “effectiveness working with that body which, as we know, is not always the most amiable to our causes.” Biskupski later helped Bradshaw during his successful 2010 bid for County Council.

Mark Lawrence, of Restore Our Humanity, said that “Becker’s two terms are enough.”

POLL: TIGHT RACE A UtahPolicy.com poll by Dan Jones and Associates shows the race in a statistical tie, with Becker getting 43 percent and Biskupski getting 37 percent. With a sampling of 588 voters participating in the poll, the results are within the 4 percent margin of error.

A full 17 percent of respondents say they are undecided when it was taken, between Oct. 5 and 10.

The race gets more interesting when respondents are narrowed to those with a “high” interest in voting, where Biskupski actually leads by two percentage points — 45 to 43 percent with 9 percent saying they were undecided. But with the smaller sampling, the margin of error rises to nearly six percent.

So, to some it may be assumed that a popular lesbian candidate would have the backing of the general LGBT community, but it turns out the community is split between the two candidates.

November may be an interesting election month after all. Q

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Online petition to SLCo Health Dept prompts new HIV program Organizers of a Change.org online petition that gathered over 3,800 signatures demanding the Salt Lake County Health Department address getting information on PrEP to affected communities declared victory the department announced a new HIV prevention program, The PrEP Resource Team.

The petition, initiated by gay activist Michael Sanders was prompted by the lack of resources for Salt Lake County residents to easily obtain information about Pre-exposure prophylaxis, commonly known as PrEP. Marketed under the brand name Truvada, PrEP is a daily regimen to pro-actively prevent new HIV infections.

The U.S. Center For Disease Control says that “PrEP is a way for people who do not have HIV but who are at substantial risk of getting it to prevent HIV infection by taking a pill every day. The pill contains two medicines — tenofovir and emtricitabine — that are also used in combination with other medicines to treat HIV. When someone is exposed to HIV through sex or injection drug use, these medicines can work to keep the virus from establishing a permanent infection.

When taken consistently, PrEP has been shown to reduce the risk of HIV infection in people who are at high risk by up to 92 percent.

The World Health Organization also recently released updated guidelines calling for universal antiretroviral therapy for everyone diagnosed with HIV, regardless of CD4 T-cell count, and pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for people at substantial risk of infection.

“These new recommendations will have tremendous impact on peoples’ lives, if

rapidly implemented,” said Gottfried Hirnschall, director of the WHO Department of HIV/AIDS. “Bringing the rate of new infections — which have been skyrocketing among key risk groups like young gay and bisexual men — below epidemic levels could prove to be the critical turning point in ultimately closing this chapter in history where HIV and AIDS represent an unmanageable virus that can only be contained, but not conquered,” said Sanders. “The Salt Lake County Health Department can make a real impact in the fight to decrease new HIV infections with this program” Sanders chose to petition the Salt Lake County Health Department because they already had most of the information and resources available for this program, including the HIV testing capabilities required to begin a PrEP regimen and a staff dedicated to HIV prevention already in place.

“It was just a matter of consolidating the information in one place, coordinating the current staff and getting the word out the information was readily available at the County Health Department” Sanders said.

Presenters from Gilead, the producer of TRUVADA, the University of Utah Hospital Clinic 1-A and the Salt Lake County Health Department were at a community event Oct. 21 to launch the program and provide more information.

Sanders has also launched a program, dubbed Mr. Friendly Utah, that addresses HIVrelated stigma in the gay and bi community. Info is at facebook. com/TeamFriendlyUTAH Q For additional information about the PrEP Resource Team program call 385.468.4166

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

夀漀甀 渀攀攀搀 愀 氀愀眀礀攀爀⸀ 圀栀攀爀攀 搀漀 礀漀甀 猀琀愀爀琀㼀 䈀礀 挀愀氀氀椀渀最 䌀栀爀椀猀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀 䰀愀眀 ∠ 䘀愀洀椀氀礀 䰀愀眀 ∠ 䌀爀椀洀椀渀愀氀 䰀愀眀 ∠ 䰀䜀䈀吀 䄀搀瘀漀挀愀挀礀 䌀栀爀椀猀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀 椀猀 愀 琀爀甀猀琀攀搀 渀攀最漀琀椀愀琀漀爀 愀渀搀 琀爀椀愀氀 愀琀琀漀爀渀攀礀 眀椀琀栀 攀砀瀀攀爀椀攀渀挀攀 愀挀爀漀猀猀 琀栀攀 猀琀愀琀攀 漀昀 唀琀愀栀⸀ 䔀瘀攀爀礀 渀攀眀 挀氀椀攀渀琀 爀攀挀攀椀瘀攀猀 愀 昀爀攀攀 椀渀椀琀椀愀氀 挀漀渀猀甀氀琀愀琀椀漀渀 眀椀琀栀漀甀琀 愀渀礀 漀戀氀椀最愀琀椀漀渀⸀

䌀栀爀椀猀琀漀瀀栀攀爀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀

䄀瓷瓷濷狷滷旷秷 懷瓷 䰀懷矷 䌀愀氀氀 㠀 ㄀ⴀ㘀㐀㤀ⴀ㌀㔀㈀㤀

昀漀爀 愀 昀爀攀攀 挀漀渀猀甀氀琀愀琀椀漀渀

䌀栀爀椀猀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀 䰀愀眀Ⰰ 䰀䰀䌀 ㄀ 圀 䈀爀漀愀搀眀愀礀Ⰰ 匀琀攀 㔀 匀愀氀琀 䰀愀欀攀 䌀椀琀礀Ⰰ 唀琀愀栀 㠀㐀㄀ ㄀ 挀栀爀椀猀眀栀愀爀琀漀渀氀愀眀⸀挀漀洀

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Ben Williams receives honor from Utah state historical society The Utah Division of State History presented Utah gay historian and QSaltLake columnist Ben Williams with an Outstanding Contribution Award for his contribution to the preservation of the history of the LGBT community in Utah.

The division, part of the Department

of Heritage and Arts, held its annual State History Conference Oct. 2 where the presentation was made.

“I was humbled by the lengthy acknowledgement of my good deeds at the presentation and it made me think, ‘is this me they are talking about?’” Williams

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quipped. “For me the true significance of this award is that Utah, after all these years, has finally recognized that we are a people with a history within this state and that it is worth preserving and celebrating” Williams, along with Connell O’Donovan, started the Gay and Lesbian Historical Society of Utah in 1988. He housed much of the work at the Utah Stonewall Center when it was created in 1991. When that location was closed, most of the collection was donated to the University if Utah Marriott Library Special Collections Department. Much, however, was destroyed when volunteers were told to clear much of it in preparation for a move to a new location.

Williams has written for QSaltLake since 2004, starting with Issue 1. Q

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Turns out the Ermahgerd girl, Maggie Goldenberger, is a lesbian whose then girlfriend took the photo as a joke. “I just can’t believe this is my 15 minutes of fame,” she told Vanity Fair.

BEN WILLIAMS PHOTO: AMY BARRY. ERMAHGERD RAPHIC BY CHRISTISN ALLRED

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Logan, Utah trans* woman steps into traffic to end her life AVOID MISINFORMATION AND OFFER HOPE

“I’m writing all of this because I’ve According to Logan, Utah police, a local my story to bemultiple shared. I don’t want trans* woman •stepped into traffic and wasThereneed[ed] Suicide is complex. are almost always causes, hit by a dump truckincluding on U.S. Hwy 89/91 to be justthat another of a tragic psychiatric illnesses, maynumber not have beenstatissouth of town shortly after posting a tic. People need to know that I’m not just recognized or treated. However, these illnesses are treatable. suicide note on her Facebook wall. another face of someone they never met. I “According •to witnesses and informa-findings wasthat alive.mental I have adisorders family and and/or friends that I Refer to research tion that we gathered on the scene, it love very much and I’m sorry towho them for substance abuse have been found in 90% ofso people appears that the pedestrian had jumped in the hurt this will cause them,” she wrote. “I have died by suicide. front of that northbound vehicle,” Logan loved being around those that I love. I loved City Police Capt.

Tyson Budge told thethat death listening to music andpreceded singing. I loved • Avoid reporting by suicide was by agoing Cache Valley Daily. “We believe that the act out to eat with friends and enjoying good single event, such as a recent job loss, divorce or bad grades. was intentional.” food. I was a real person.” like this leaves the public anpeople overlyand simplistic “Evidence at the Reporting scene gave every “I still wantwith to help I believe indication that the and driver had attempted misleading understanding ofPlease suicide.

I still can. share my final words. I to swerve and brake, to avoid the collision believe my last words can help make the Consider quoting prevention expert on causes but was unable• to do so,” Budge said. a suicide change that society needs to make so that Budge also said the department received and treatments.

Avoid putting opinions in alike me. one day expert there will be no others reports of the suicide note and photo context. and Please help make this change because trans sensationalistic were investigating in order to check on people are everywhere. You may never her welfare. They to findtothe • were Useunable your story informknow readers the causes of too late. whoabout you’re hurting until it’s victim before the report of the suicide, itsauto-pedeswarning signs, trends andshe recent Please helpinfixrates society,” concluded. trian incident.

Hallstrom was a frequent Reddit contribtreatment advances.

“These are utor in TwoXChromosones and asktransgoing to be myaboutgender • Add statement(s) the many treatmentIn options as LittleCollette. the last few final words. I weeks, complained that her therapist’s available, stories of those whoshe overcame a suicidal can’t stand to methods were outdated, but mentioned crisis and resources live another day,for help. that, after six years of living full-time as I’m commit-local/national resources where • Includesoup-to-date a woman, she had “passed all the requireting suicide,” ments needed for her to writeand me letters” to readers/viewers can fi nd treatment, information 26-year-old go through sex reassignment surgery. adviceAshley that promotes help-seeking.

HallTwo months ago, she pleaded with a felstrom wrote on low Redditer not to take her own life. her Facebook “Please talk to us. Look at all these wall shortly after uploading a new profile people who love you and will miss you. We photo. “The reason why I’ve decided to do all want toMEDIA, help you. Don’t give up on us FOR ONLINE MESSAGE this is because SUGGESTIONS I’m transgender.” and I promise we won’t give up on you,” “From a veryBOARDS, young age I was told that BLOGGERS & CITIZEN JOURNALISTS she advised. “We will help you get to were people like me are freaks and abominayou want be in commentators life. There are many of us • sick Bloggers, citizen and to public can tions, that we are in the head and journalists that have been where you are now.

I am one society hates us. This made me hate who I help reduce risk of contagion with posts or links to treatment of them. My dysphoria nearly killed me to was. I tried so hard services, to be just like everyone warning signs and suicide hotlines. but I’m still here and I’m glad I am. We will else but this isn’t something you can help you get to you want tohow be in life • Include stories of hope and recovery, where information on change,” she continued.

“It wasn’t until I and all you have to do is let us help you.” was 20 that I foundto out I wasn’t alone.

I overcome suicidal thinking and increase coping skills.

She went on her first date with a man had hope that I would finally be able to only threephotos/videos months ago, but and though her potential for online reports, stories live as and love• whoThe I am.

I finally came date said he was fine with dating a trans* out as transgender and began transitionto go viral makes it vital that online coverage of suicide woman, by the end he said there was no ing. For the first time in my life I could say follow site or industry safety recommendations. physical attraction due to Hallstrom’s I was genuinely happy.” masculine features “coming through.”

She said that• theSocial happiness she felt was networking sites often become memorials to the Many Reddit users expressed deep sadnot enough to overcome years of depresdeceased and should be monitored for hurtful comments ness for another trans* member commitsion brought on by societal hatred of and for statements that ting others are wishing considering suicide. suicide, that they had been trans* people.

Message board guidelines, policies and procedures could able to talk her out of it.

“I had already been poisoned by a Local trans* activists shared the post, society that didn’t understand us and, even support removal of inappropriate and/or insensitive posts. some expressing frustration and anger. worse, didn’t want to even try. I saw the Others stressed that people should pain it caused to people like me and going spread the Trans Lifeline number of (877) though this same hurt myself it has just 565-8860. More information of the hotline become to much for me to take anymore,” MORE INFORMATION AND RESOURCES AT: can be found at www.translifeline.org. she wrote. www.ReportingOnSuicide.org

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

HELPFUL SIDE-BAR FOR STORIES

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE • Talking about wanting to die • Looking for a way to kill oneself • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs • Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly • Sleeping too little or too much • Withdrawing or feeling isolated • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Displaying extreme mood swings The more of these signs a person shows, the greater the risk. Warning signs are associated with suicide but may not be what causes a suicide.

WHAT TO DO If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide: • Do not leave the person alone • Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt • Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) • Take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional

THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE 800-273-TALK (8255) A free, 24/7 service that can provide suicidal persons or those around them with support, information and local resources.

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Utah ends same-sex adoption suit; issues birth certificate to lesbian couple In July, U.S. District Judge Dee Benson ordered the state of Utah to list the names of a lesbian couple as mothers on a birth certificate for their new baby. In a filing Oct. 16, the state agreed to drop the case in a joint stipulation with the couple.

The court also noted that similar cases could be covered by the ruling.

“The Court further ordered that if Defendants continue to enforce Utah Code ... with respect to male spouses of women who give birth through assisted reproduction with donor sperm, they must also apply the statute equally to female spouses of women who give birth through assisted reproduction with donor sperm,” the ruling stated “We are thrilled that Angie and Kami have finally gotten state-issued proof of something

we already knew: that they are both proud parents of their daughter. With this birth certificate, the Roes can have the same certainty and facility that any other family has in going about their daily lives,” said John Mejia, ACLU Legal Director The ACLU of Utah and the American Civil Liberties Union filed the lawsuit in April 2015 to force the State Office of Vital Records and Statistics to recognize plaintiffs Angie and Kami Roe as parents to their daughter, Lucy.

Arguments were heard today and ACLU lawyers said the ruling is the first of its kind since gay marriage was legalized.

“The state has failed to show any legitimate reason, actually any reason at all, for not treating a female spouse in a same-sex marriage the same as a male spouse in an opposite-

Plaintiffs Angie and Kami Roe (center) surrounded by ACLU staff and interns celebrate the court’s decision.

sex marriage with regard to be recognized as the legal parent” when the child has been conceived with donated sperm, Benson said.

The Roes, who live in West Jordan and were married Dec. 20, the day Judge Robert Shelby declared Utah’s ban on same-sex married unconstitutional, said in their lawsuit that

the state should treat wedded same-sex couples the same as heterosexual couples who use sperm donors to have children.

State attorneys argued that Utah law law recognizes the “biological and gendered roles” of fathers and mothers, and that a child can only have one biological mother and one biological father. Q

Q mmunity Giving Thanks The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire fill be hosting a “fun-draiser” to help homeless youth in the valley. Drag kings and queens, raffles and music, live vocal performance by Lavish 801 and belly dancers will entertain. Donations will be split between the VOA’s Overnight Homeless Youth Shelter and the Utah Pride Center’s Feeding Homeless Youth Winter Project WHEN: Saturday, Nov. 7, 8:30pm WHERE: Sun Trapp 102 S. 600 West COST: $10 donation INFO: rcgse.org

Free screening of ‘The Case Against 8’ A screening of the documentary “The Case Against 8,” which tells the story of the battle against California’s Proposition 8 all the way through the U.S. Supreme Court, along with a community conversation on same-sex marriage and live Q&A with the film’s directors, is being hosted by the Tanner Humanities Center at the University of Utah, in cooperation with the Salt Lake Film Center. It is open to the public and no tickets are required.

WHEN: Thursday, Nov.

12, 7pm WHERE: Broadway Cinemas, 111 E Broadway COST: Free INFO: thc.utah.edu

Imperial Court Coronation The 16th Coronation Weekend is being celebrated by the Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah. The theme is “Mystery, Masquerade and Mayhem, A Majestic Wonder,” with the stepping down of Emperor XV Russell Griffin, Empress XV Dionna West, and Imperial Crown Prince and Princess XV Sean Childers-LiQue and Angelina Union-Devo WHEN: Nov. 19–21 WHERE: Ogden Eccles

Conference Center, 2415 Washington Blvd, Ogden COST: $40–$65 INFO: irconu.org

Third Friday Bingo at First Baptist The Matrons of Mayhem return to First Baptist Church for Third Friday Bingo. Come early to get a good seat.

WHEN: Fri. Nov. 20, 7pm WHERE: First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E COST: $5 first card, $3/ addl INFO: facebook.com/ matronsofmayhem.slc

Annual GendeRevolution The seventh GendeRevolution, celebrating

National Transgender Education and Awareness Month, hopes to foster community building among trans* folk and allies, help create a strong and safe space to push gender boundaries, and to educate employees, cisgender/non-trans* folk, trans* folk, health and mental care providers, and allies about the myths and realities of gender.

WHEN: Sat. Nov. 14 from 8:30 a.m. – 6:30 p.m.

WHERE: Rowland Hall School, 843 Lincoln St COST: $25 includes meals. Scholarships avail.

INFO: genderevolutionutah.org

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

EQUALITY UTAH PAC’S 2015 ENDORSED CANDIDATES SALT LAKE CITY MAYOR

SOUTH SALT LAKE CITY COUNCIL

PARK CITY CITY COUNCIL

Jackie Biskupski

Ben Pender

Andy Beerman

Ralph Becker

Mark Kindred

Becca Gerber

SALT LAKE CITY CITY COUNCIL

Andrew Johnston

Charlie Luke

Derek Kitchen

SANDY CITY COUNCIL

Sean Kowallis

Portia Mila

MIDVALE CITY COUNCIL

Sophia Hawes-Tingey

SOUTH JORDAN CITY COUNCIL

Thomas Geilmann

HOLLADAY CITY COUNCIL

Jim Palmer DRAPER CITY COUNCIL

Michele Weeks

OGDEN CITY COUNCIL

Ben Nadolski

Luis Lopez

MOAB CITY COUNCIL

Kalen Jones

Rani Derasary

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

As part of national Coming Out Day October 11, the following quotes were assembled to help those looking to take advantage of the day.

“ “ “

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody.”

—Rita Mae Brown

Gender preference does not define you. Your spirit defines you.”

—P.C. Cast

Laugh and cry and tell stories. Sad stories about bodies stolen, bodies no longer here. Enraging stories about the false images, devastating lies, untold violence. Bold, brash stories about reclaiming our bodies and changing the world.”

“ “ “

—Eli Clare

Be yourself. You’re OK. And it really doesn’t matter what other people think.”

—Taylor Schilling

There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.”

—Anthony Rapp

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don’t ignore that critic, but don’t give it more attention than it deserves.”

—Michael Ian Black

“ “ “ “

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?”

—Dr. Seuss

The really important thing to be was yourself, just as hard as you could.”

—Neil Gaiman

Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”

—Allen Ginsberg

“ “

What people do in their own homes is their business, and you can choose to love whoever you love.”

—Jay-Z

Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law.

Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer or unsafe, it is our decision, and you have no rights in our lovemaking.”

“

—Derek Jarman

Letter Deeply Humbled Editor, I am deeply humbled writing to you today. When I was mayor of San Francisco, I first spoke on the basis that marriage is a right, not a privelege..

I’m touched by Christopher atis’ personal story [“A letter to Gavin Newsome,” September, 2015.] I greatly appreciate all of your support throughout the years as well as youir exposure to such an important topic. We shour be able to admire one another and their accomplishments despit age, race, gender, and sexual identification.

Thank you again, and I wish you the best.

GAVIN NEWSOME, Calif. Lt. Governor

Never dull your shine for somebody else.”

—Tyra Banks

LETTERS: EMAIL 300 WORDS OR LESS TO LETTERS@QSALTLAKE.COM.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

rizzi

No f**king Cornucopias

A proclamation to all human beings

BY MARCY TAYLOR-RIZZI

There is

a certain culture in Utah that speaks about family from only one perspective – that of religion and god. When The Family: A Proclamation to the World was read, and then released in written form by the LDS church, many people outside of the faith made attempts to come up with their own proclamation. The problem with those works is that they insist on using the language of religion to combat the narrow vision of family put forth by the LDS leaders (and other religious leaders). I attempt to remedy that problem by providing a proclamation for all human beings, those with and without religion.

THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO ALL HUMAN BEINGS We, the human race, solemnly proclaim that marriage is a union between adults, who with sound mind, with no regard to race, gender, or biology, commit to making our family central to our lives.

All human beings are created with natural and civil rights, without regard to religion or faith. Each human being is a beloved member of a social contract, with a right to exist and participate in society. Gender is of no consequence, as rights do not care about genitilia or the social/cultural definitions those in power have given us.

Antiquity and historical reference is important when speaking about human beings forming families. It is of importance that those in power of religious organizations recognize that human beings existed before their churches were founded.

Would religion have us believe that prior to their proclamations there were no such thing as families? There is no sacred ordinance and covenants necessary for

individuals to form lasting bonds with other people to create a family, rather devotion, commitment, and love are necessary components for a full life.

The family is granted civil liberties by their peers in government. Children are entitled to birth between consenting adults who shall be reared by loving human beings who honor human compassion and reason. Happiness in family life is most likely achieved when founded upon: A true desire to see our family members become their best selves Unconditional love Humanity Respect Trust Happiness Humor Open communication Empathy Acceptance Gender roles play no responsibility in raising children; rather, the people raising their children shall be equal partners in the investment of the emotional and physical well being of their child(ren).

We warn all individuals and religious institutions that those who violate the laws set forth by the Constitution of the United States and other federal and local laws, who abuse other human beings, or who fail to fulfill their human responsibilities, will one day stand accountable before their peers. Further, we warn that disintegration of our humanity will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the downfall of the family.

We call upon all churches and their members everywhere to promote these measures, designed to maintain and strengthen our empathy and to raise families without hostility. Q

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

who’s your daddy?

A contrarian view of dining with the kids

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Recently

, the Internet and social media were all abuzz with a culinary story. A family

at a national-chain steak house had their dinner rudely interrupted by the couple seated next to them, who slammed a note down on the table that read, “THANKS FOR RUINING OUR DINNER!” The reason for the passive aggressive note? The family’s toddler was crying and wouldn’t shut the hell up!

In a textbook example of understanding your customer

base, the steak house comped the family’s dinner, and told the disturbed couple to take a hike. The corporate public relations machine immediately announced that would-be diners wishing to experience the clinking of wine glasses and the din of cutlery should choose another establishment; this restaurant was “proud to be loud.”

I don’t eat meat, so I’ve never actually been to the steak house, but proud-andloud or not, nobody wants to listen to a kid screaming when you’re trying to eat.

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Before the boys came along, like a lot of gay men, Kelly and I dined out pretty frequently.

We used to joke that restaurants should offer “children or non” seating options similar to smoking choices of old.

Kelly once instituted the policy himself when we were having lunch at a well-known 1950s-style diner in San Francisco. Across from our booth were two families with a couple of kids seated at the counter. The children were spinning on their stools counting their revolutions. Only they weren’t counting quietly, they were shrieking. We asked our server if we could be moved, and as we passed the families on the way to the bar, Kelly said, “We’re moving because you’re kids are out of control.”

It embarrassed the parents, who meekly apologized, but the rest of the patrons enjoyed their lunches in peace and quiet.

Look, there’s never been a parent in the history of eating out, who hasn’t been embarrassed by their kid at a restaurant. I’m convinced a certain Chinese joint in Los Angeles is still trying to vacuum up all the rice a baby Gus trampled into their plush red carpeting.

The key to dealing with kids in restaurants is to manage expectations: YOURS – As a thank you, my friend Lish recently gave me a very generous gift certifi-

cate to Forage. The boys will not be joining Kelly and me when we dine there. I get it; Noodles & Company gets old, but unless your kid is an adult, or maybe some Stepford child, do everyone a favor and find a babysitter before making that reservation at Tuscany.

THE KIDS’ – In a restau-

rant, kids usually have the upper hand. Given the chance, they’ll make the most egregious demands, to which you will gladly agree just to keep them well behaved for an hour. Don’t negotiate with terrorists – lay down the law: either they behave or you’ll take them to the car. If you think I’m all talk, ask Niko about sitting in the van, watching the rest of the family eating Thai food.

OTHER PATRONS’ – Cut parents some slack. If the mere sight of kids in public turns your stomach, move to Leisure World already. Kids aren’t pets; they have the right to go anywhere you go (minus bars and strip clubs.) But child-free people shouldn’t have to tolerate rude, obnoxious or louderthan-necessary behavior. It has never ceased to amaze me how some parents feel that simply being in a public place like a restaurant gives them license to unleash their kids on the general public.

Loud-and-proud or not, I’ll bet you a steak dinner that nobody wanted to eat dinner with that screaming kid. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

creep of the month

Eric Metaxas

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

I may be

a grown up, but I read a lot of young adult fiction aimed at LGBT teens.

Wait. I shouldn’t use the term “aimed at” less I fuel the fire behind Eric Metaxas’ idea that YA books are “disproportionately gay” and are trying to turn young people gay or at least make kids cool with the so-called sinful gay lifestyle.

In a recent commentary on BreakPoint which, according to their website, “provides a Christian perspective on today’s news and trends,” Metaxas proclaims “an alarming trend in youth lit.”

“The way to win over a culture is to capture the minds and hearts of its young people,” he says. “The

gay-rights movement has certainly learned that lesson, which helps explain a current trend in youth literature.

Anyone who reads books for teens these days will tell you that portrayals of gay relationships and characters are rapidly increasing.”

He’s right, in a way. Though what he sees as a bad thing, I see as a good thing.

It’s true that there are more LGBT themes and characters being explored in YA lit.

But it’s not because all of a sudden “the gay-rights movement” ramped up production.

When I was discovering I was attracted to girls and not boys in the mid-90s, there were books about lesbians out there, but I didn’t know that and didn’t know where to find them. I couldn’t just Google “lesbian books” and I certainly couldn’t ask a librarian to help me find them. One of the first books about lesbians that I read was “The Well of Loneliness” by Radclyffe Hall (even if you haven’t read it, the title alone gives you a pretty good idea of the suffering therein). In college I read “Stone Butch Blues” by Leslie Feinberg (more suffering).

There were YA books that I could have read in high school. “Annie On My Mind”

by Nancy Garden, for example, was first published in the early 1980s. But like I said, I had no way of knowing that.

But today, there are plenty of books to choose from and I’ve read many of them. I want to know what today’s young people are reading. And I’m very happy that LGBT young people no longer lurk in the shadows without books that reflect their lives.

Metaxas sees something far more nefarious at play. “Authors who work to normalize homosexuality are trying to promote what they see as compassion, understanding and acceptance,” he says. “I believe

they’re also trying to break down sexual boundaries of all kinds, to push what they see as ‘ freedom’ as far as they possibly can.”

What’s wrong with “compassion, understanding and acceptance”? Unless, of course, you believe that LGBT people are unworthy of it and should simply be scorned. As far as breaking down “sexual boundaries of all kinds,” that’s a common claim of the anti-gay right who think of LGBT people only in terms of sex. As if having sex — really freaky sex in the imagination of the anti-gay right — is the only thing LGBT people do or think about. It’s a fun way to dehumanize us.

Metaxas continues, “Even when there are no explicit descriptions, sexual themes are often introduced before kids are ready to deal with them in a mature way. Moreover, the way they’re introduced can be confusing to vulnerable and impressionable readers.”

Earth to Metaxas: all kids are exposed to sexual themes before they’re ready to deal with them in mature way. I would much rather have kids, gay and straight, read a book written just for them that promotes “compassion, understanding and acceptance” than learning about sex by Googling “boobies” and “wieners” on the Internet. Q

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

lambda lore

Reviving preservation

BY BEN WILLIAMS

When

Michael Aaron asked me to write a history column in 2004, for what was then the Salt Lake Metro, I readily accepted. I had been writing history columns for various publications in our community since 1987 when Satu Servigna, editor and publisher, of the Triangle Community Digest first asked me to write for her.

I had to come up with a name for my column for the Metro, one that would describe what my column would be about and so I named it “Lambda Lore.” Eleven years ago most community members understood the association that the Greek letter lambda had with homosexual human rights. Today I am not so sure. Organizations such as Lambda Legal and Lambda Rising Bookstore, which closed in 2010 after 41 years of encouraging the writing and publishing of LGBT books, were named for the Greek symbol. And although the bookstore is gone, the Lambda Literary Awards, known as the Lammys, are still given out annually to honor the best gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender affirming books for the year.

So why did I choose lambda and what is its significance to our history? Well, in 1970 the Gay Activist Alliance of New York wanted a symbol that would stand for “freedom from oppression.” GAA member Tom Doerr suggested the lower case lambda λ as that symbol because he said in physics the symbol represented kinetic energy and gay people were seeking change. Other sources stated that the lower case lambda Greek letter was chosen because it was used as a shield pattern by the homosexual Spartan Army. The symbol also stood for unity.

In December 1974, the Greek letter was so recognized that it was officially declared the international symbol for gay and lesbian rights by the International Gay Rights Congress.

Thus for over 40 years the lambda has signified “unity under oppression” which is why Lambda Legal had chosen its name from this symbol and also why I chose it for my column.

I added the word “lore” to the title not simply because of its lyrical alliteration qualities but more for what lore means. In most dictionaries the word has the meaning of a “body of knowledge, especially of a traditional, anecdotal, or popular nature, on a particular subject.” Of course I choose to write about Utah’s unique homosexual culture.

While I have a degree in history, I am truly an amateur historian. I have never written volumes on the subject, or done post-gradu-

ate work. But I have observed and compiled my observations of the exponential growth of equality rights for sexual minorities in Utah. I was not a passive observer, however, as for about a decade from 1986 to 1997 I was actively involved with those who were changing the landscape in Utah for the legal protection and acceptance of sexual diversity.

When the Utah Stonewall Center opened its doors in June 1991, two of its main features were its library and its historical archives. At the time the Salt Lake Public Library had less than 20 books on its shelves that dealt with homosexuality and some of them were from ex-gay sources. The Utah Stonewall Center had the largest collection of gay and lesbian books between Chicago and California.

I remember going to New York City’s Gay Community Center and was shocked to find that they only had six bookcases of gay and lesbian resources that were locked up for the night. Here in Salt Lake City we had a room filled with over 20 shelves of books ranging from novels to self help tomes to history books. We had over 1,500 titles all donated from our community with many of them first editions. The library was so popular that we had to train several volunteers to act as staff who did nothing but tend to the library.

This library was the vision of Robert Smith and Liza Smart working with a committee of volunteers, I being one. It was Bobbie’s suggestion that the library also house the archives, the bulk of which I was hauling around to my various apartments. The archives grew over the years so that when the then board of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center chose not to house them, I with the help of Jay Bell donated the bulk of the collection to the Marriott Library at the University of Utah in 2002. It took them nearly 10 years to categorize it all since it was over 30 lineal feet of material saved from items prior to 1997. Sadly much more was lost by short-sighted disinterest in our history.

That brings me to the point of where are our historians? I can name on one hand people from this community who have actively written about or tried to preserve the records of this people, and they have all been gay men. Where are the lesbians in Utah who are needed to preserve “herstory?” What about the Trans community? Who is documenting the rise of their community through Engender Species and TEA and all the rest. Is the bi-

sexual community stepping up? It worries me.

Jay Bell researched, documented and wrote of gay people’s interactions with the Mormon Church as it pertained to Affirmation. This support group for gay and lesbian Mormons was founded in Salt Lake City in 1977 and has a rich history of surviving the LDS Church’s 40-year war with homosexuals.

Bell tragically was killed in a car-pedestrian accident in 2003, but more tragically the official Affirmation Web page has removed all of Bell’s works, as well as other peoples stories and memorials to LDS gay folks who died of suicide and AIDS. The folks running the site now have sanitized it to the struggle with the Mormon Church.

Douglas Winkler, a gay man I knew many years ago when he roomed with Robert Smith, wrote a tremendous resource called “Lavender Sons of Zion: A history of gay men in Salt Lake City, 1950–1979” as a doctorate dissertation. His research was published in 2008 as a 538-page book, but unfortunately it is not readily available. In his work, Winkler was kind enough to acknowledge Bell’s “extensive research on LDS Church policy, “ and that I deserved “appreciation for sharing several years’ research,” and “unstinting efforts to raise historical awareness among Utah’s GLBTQ community.”

Seth Anderson is another historian who is working to preserve history for the current generation. Having just completed graduate work this year at the University of Utah, Seth received a master’s degree in social history with a focus on the history of sexuality in the western United States.

Connell O’Donovan and I share a passion for history, so much so that on Halloween night 1988 we started the Gay and Lesbian Historical Society of Utah. He is a meticulous researcher and has published a series of outstanding articles on Utah and Mormon LGBTQ histories.

An essential read is his “’The Abominable and Detestable Crime Against Nature’: A Brief History of Homosexuality and Mormonism, 18401980,” which is available online.

While not an active part of the LGBTQ community but, by all means, a historian of renown is D. Michael Quinn. A former BYU professor and now openly gay, Quinn wrote “Same-Sex Dynamics Among NineteenthCentury Americans: A Mormon Example.”

Although Quinn’s main emphasis is early Mormon history, “Same-Sex Dynamics” is also a must read for anyone who calls Utah home.

Earlier this October, I had the honor of receiving from Utah’s Division of History a recognition of my nearly 30 years of dedication toward the preservation of, and writing about, the history of my people. However, for me the true significance of this award is that Utah, after all these years, has finally recognized that we are a people with a history within this state and that it is worth preserving and celebrating. Q

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Jackie best for LGBTQ

BY ADAM BASS, FORMER EQUALITY UTAH LOBBYIST

Salt Lake

City’s LGBTQ voters are lucky this election.

Unlike many elections, where LGBTQ voters have to vote for the candidate that stinks the least, Salt Lake City voters get to choose this year between two highly qualified candidates who are both unquestionably our allies. No one, objectively, could question the commitment of either Ralph Becker or Jackie Biskupski when it comes to LGBTQ equality.

However, when it comes to real leadership on LGBTQ issues, Jackie stands head and shoulders above the rest.

In 2003 and 2004 both Jackie and Ralph were serving in the Utah House of Representatives together. During those two years, I was Equality Utah’s first-ever registered lobbyist. I spent most of my days working with LGBTQ leaders on advancing hate crimes legislation and fighting off anti-gay marriage amendments.

During those crucial years in the Utah LGBTQ movement, Jackie was a tireless leader for our community. Ignoring the stigma, attacks, and outright dismissal her detractors hurled at her in her early years as Utah’s first openly-gay legislator, she pushed through to be a go-to

Ralph best for LGBTQ

BY MICHAEL SANDERS, OWNER, NOW & AGAIN

Early in

this mayoral campaign, I was excited at the prospect of Salt Lake City electing a successor to Mayor Ralph Becker from within our LGBTQ community. I’ve always liked Mayor Becker, but I believe change can be revitalizing, and I don’t categorically believe in multiple terms for elected officials. This particular change seemed appealing, given the civil rights work that still needs to be accomplished in our conservative state.

So I set out to learn more about Jackie Biskupski and the substance behind her “change” platform. As someone who prefers to look beyond buzzwords and lawn signs, I wondered what she felt needed to be changed, and how she would implement it.

I was underwhelmed by what I found, so I began to ask questions. Her campaign manager explained they were not ready to lay out a detailed platform, but would do so after Labor Day. Even with this dearth of information, Jackie curiously managed to achieve a strong showing in the primary.

Following that election, innuendo and name-calling intensified from the Biskupski team, while Mayor Becker continued to talk about goals and plans for a third term,

guest editorials

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

deal broker in the Utah House.

In those years, it was Jackie who successfully used House and Senate relationships to defeat the 2003 constitutional amendment on marriage (Sen. T. Hatch, abandoned bill file).

It was Jackie who brokered the behind-thescenes deals with Rep. David Litvack to help get hate crimes legislation passed.

Most importantly, when HJR25 – later called “Amendment 3” – was introduced, Ralph told me, “I’ll vote with you, but it’s a lost cause.” Jackie on the other hand worked every single day to defeat the amendment. Jackie testified in committee meetings, lobbied senators and representatives, Democrats and Republicans alike. She worked to defeat Amendment 3 up to the very last moment. And, many forget, we only lost by one vote in the Senate.

The day before Amendment 3 passed the legislature, I was standing in the Capitol Rotunda on the phone with folks at Unity Utah, telling them about an idea Jackie had to “fill the Capitol with our community.” The Unity Utah leaders resisted the idea of organizing a rally. House leadership, including Ralph, strongly discouraged the idea. Jackie wouldn’t hear it. She grabbed my suit jacket and said, “I don’t care how you do it, but fill this capitol to the rafters!”

We did. The next evening, when Amendment 3 passed by one vote in the Senate, there were more people in the state Capitol than anyone could ever remember previously. The Speaker took the unprecedented step of closing the House gallery, there were so many.

At that rally, five LGBTQ leaders spoke passionately to the crowd about the need to defeat Amendment 3. Only one of them was an elected official: Jackie Biskupski. House Minority Leader Becker was nowhere to be seen.

No one questions Ralph Becker’s commitment to the LGBTQ community. He is our ally. But, when real leadership was needed, and it was unpopular to be outspoken on LGBTQ issues, Jackie showed up, and Ralph did not.

There’s a lot more to being Mayor than supporting the LGBTQ community, and no one should vote purely based on the candidate’s sexual orientation. But, true leadership when it’s unpopular and difficult is a quality rarely seen, and Jackie displays that type of leadership for our community in a way few others ever have. Jackie Biskupski is the best choice for mayor of Salt Lake City. Q

offering detailed information about past accomplishments and plans for moving forward. I continued to search for specifics on Jackie’s “change” platform, but all I heard was chirping crickets.

Her candidacy seems driven by emotion rather than substance, and fueled by a block of LGBTQ residents who support her because of her sexual orientation and her ability to ignite a vocal crew of angry constituents. They began to diminish Becker’s record of LGTBQ advocacy and leadership, and portray Jackie as more qualified simply because she was the first lesbian in the state legislature. How quickly they forgot it was Becker who passed the first non-discrimination ordinance that compelled similar ordinances across the state, and that it was Becker who hurried to the County Building to marry same-sex couples on the very afternoon same-sex marriage became legal in Utah. I cannot think of many politicians, locally or nationally, who can surpass his commitment to equal rights for LGBTQ people.

When her campaign finally began to release plans, it was clear her proposed changes involve plans the Becker administration has already undertaken. It also troubled me that she continues to use emotion to convince voters of her commitment to education and the environment — because she’s Archie’s mom. Don’t get me wrong: Archie is a cute kid, and I’m sure motherhood reinforces life’s

big challenges. But this is not my idea of a qualification or a strong environmental plan.

As a small downtown business owner, I experienced firsthand the challenges of working with the city through the construction of the Broadway bike lane project. Although I don’t believe the project was executed with the finesse it could have been, the city — particularly the mayor’s office — was easy to engage.

In fact, I was able to increase parking by 30% on the block where my business is located, simply by speaking up and offering ideas.

I recently asked a Jackie supporter why she felt Biskupski is the better candidate. She explained that Jackie promises to change her west side neighborhood for the better. Now, I am no stranger to activism, and I believe that neither Jackie nor Mayor Becker can change her neighborhood. Rather, she is the one who must change it. In the words of Mother Teresa: “Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”

I believe Mayor Becker has a solid track record with our LGBTQ community, and he has moved our entire community to a more prominent and sustainable place, locally and nationally. His record on economic development, city planning, environmental issues and livability speaks for itself. He has clear and detailed plans for advancing SLC’s position as a great and livable American city, and a compelling plan for finishing the job he started. Q

Adam Bass was Equality Utah’s second employee, and first registered lobbyist. He served on the Riverton, Utah City Council and currently lives in West Hollywood, Calif. where he is a member of the Public Facilities Commission and a deputy to a member of the Los Angeles City Council.

22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | TRANS* AWARENESS MONTH

It all started

with news from Equality Utah in the winter of 2013 that SB-100, The Fairness in Employment and Housing Act, was finally going to be heard and potentially voted on. Many people in the LGBT community were looking at a momentous point in history when the Utah Legislature was going vote on extending protections statewide for the LGBT community. It felt like a new day was dawning.

Meanwhile, Sophia Hawes-Tingey and her wife decided to seal their commitment to one another by having a handfasting in October. Less than two months later, marriage equality broke out in Utah and they legally wed when Sophia’s wife made it back to town on December 30th — the same day they watched Sean Reyes sworn into office.

Thinking this would be a wonderful time to bridge marriage equality and draw support for the equality bill, Sophia rushed to write an article about their marriage as two transgender lesbian women, which was published in the new LoneStarQ in Texas.

Sean Reyes moved quickly to put a stay on the marriages, which happened the day after Sophia received their certified marriage certificate in the mail. She found out from a supervisor at the Utah Driver Licence Division that marriages and everything resulting from them were stayed on what was supposed to be the happiest day of the year.

At work, Sofia saw an article posted that Sean Reyes planned to spend up to $2 million of Utah taxpayer money to fight her marriage and she was furious! She wrote an email demanding that he not use her tax money or anyone else’s that was opposed to Amendment 3. She also shared the note on Facebook. People responded that there were better things in Utah to spend the money on, like clean air and education, and urged her to make the email go viral.

Her wife used the email as a template to send her own message, and Sophia decided that it would be easier to just make the email itself a petition on change.org. Her

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target number was 1300 signatures, one for every couple married during those 17 days. After about two weeks, when she saw 900 signatures, she contacted the media, preparing to deliver the petition in person to Reyes. That weekend the petition went viral. Monday morning, she showed up at the Utah State Capitol Building with over 32,000 signatures, presenting a petition that accused the attorney general of abuse of power and tyranny, and claiming that Amendment 3 was no longer the will of the people.

It was that moment that she found herself thrust onto the stage of Utah politics.

When SB-100 was being blocked, she drove to the capitol to add her own blue note to hundreds of others and arrived just in time to shake the hand of the sponsor, Sen, Steve Urquhart.

Shortly after that, 13 brave souls now called the Capitol 13, were arrested as they demanded that SB-100 be heard. She had her ear to the ground and knew something like that was coming and rushed to show her support.

She soon friended Sen. Jim Dabakis when she heard that he was looking for transgender people to tell their stories of discrimination and was immediately invited with hundreds of other people to his weekly morning round table discussions, where she learned the fates of bills and the progress they were going through. She was soon recruited to be delegate at a “lobbying training” being held at her church, and decided that because of all the transphobic remarks that were occurring at the capitol, she needed to be there to defuse them and focus on working on real issues. At the time, she was targeting 2016 for her first run, when her representative, Rep. Lynn Hemingway, announced his retirement, prompting her to run immediately.

It took three hours for the news to break that a transgender woman was running for the Utah Legislature. She is very thankful for the image that Eric Peterson painted of her breaking stereotypes, but being openly transgender plus an unknown made her race tougher against

someone who had been preparing for this seat for years.

In 2014, Sophia ran as an openly transgender candidate for the Utah House of Representative, District 40. With the help of a few contacts, she managed to pull off eight percent of the delegate vote in a three-way race, and saw the results appear in the Washington Times.

Sophia announced her candidacy for Midvale City Council District 2 in June.

She is challenging incumbent councilman Paul Glover.

While acknowledging the historic nature of her candidacy, she is focusing her campaign on local issues like public safety, empowerment of marginalized communities and environmental stewardship.

“I know to the LGBT community, they see this as a message of hope. But this is a race about community values,” she told Fox13.News.

National and state-level LGBT groups like the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund have endorsed Hawes-Tingey.

She progressed to the general election after receiving over 38 percent of the vote in a three-way race, with the incumbent receiving close to 55 percent.

Ballots have been mailed to Midvale voters and the election will be decided Tuesday, Nov. 3.

More information on her campaign can be found at sophiahawes.com

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Trans runner-up in Men’s Health ‘Ultimate Guy’ contest and wife to keynote Genderevolution Aydian Dowling, who was vying to become the first transgender man to land on the cover of Men’s Health magazine as winner of its annual “Ultimate Guy” contest, finished as one of four runners-up. He and his wife Jenilee will be the keynote speakers of the Utah Pride Center’s annual Genderevolution this month.

The 28-year-old Dowling won the contest’s reader vote with over 72,000-votes in a landslide last summer. He is happy that his efforts increased exposure for the transgender community. His image will appear on a special collector’s edition cover (see below) later this year.

Genderevolution is the pinnacle event of Transgender Education and Awareness Month. Its purpose is to foster community building among trans* folk and allies, to help create a safe space to push gender boundaries in the Salt Lake City area, educate employees, non-trans* and trans* folk, health and mental care providers, and allies about the myths and realities of gender; and to celebrate trans* identities in an inclusive, healthy and positive way.

The event will take place at Rowland Hall, 843 Lincoln St, on Saturday, Nov. 14 from 8:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Registration is $25, which includes meals, at genderevolution.org. Scholarships are available. Q

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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | TRANS* AWARENESS MONTH

In 2013,

at one of the lowest points in her life, 44-year-old software engineer Greta Martela placed a call to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. She had been hospitalized five times for being suicidal, starting at age 28, when she realized she was transgender. But she was still struggling with coming out to the wider world. When she disclosed to the counselor that she was transgender, he was confused about what that meant. Once she explained, “he got off the phone as quick as he could,” she said.

Martela went to the Berkeley, California, hospital he recommended, but the ER staff there was similarly ill prepared to work with transgender clients. “I had to argue with them about my gender pronouns,” she recalled. She was soon checked into a psychiatric hospital, where she waited for 24 hours to speak to a doctor. When she did, the psychiatrist spent less than 10 minutes with her.

“I actually did a Google search for ‘transgender suicide hotline,’ and nothing came up,” she said, recalling the experience. “I was surprised even then.”

As a Mormon teenager moving around California, Martela had run away from home and gotten involved in the Goth scene because of her parents’ issues with her gender presentation. After her experience in Berkeley, she decided to come out and begin her transition. Just a year later, she launched the first suicide and crisis counseling service created specifically by and for transgender and gender nonconforming people.

While research into transgender mental health issues is still scarce, what little there is suggests that her experience is common.

Rates of attempted suicide are 35 percent higher for transgender people than among the general population, and medical services

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often pose additional obstacles to transgender people seeking care. According to a 2011 report based on the national transgender discrimination survey (a joint project of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality), 28 percent of respondents reported being harassed in medical settings, and 19 percent said they were refused care because of transphobia. Half the respondents said they had to explain to their medical provider what “transgender” meant.

“Being exposed to these further stressors when you’re at a point of crisis already can be really tragic,” said Ry Testa, an assistant professor of psychology at Rhodes College in Tennessee. “So a lot of transgender people may be leery to seek out those resources.”

Martela says, “I actually did a Google search for ‘transgender suicide hotline,’ and nothing came up.”

Early in her transition, Martela started volunteering as an outreach coordinator for a transgender social organization in San Francisco. Her position involved monitoring the group’s 800 number and returning calls left on its answering service.

She discovered that the vast majority of calls were from people in crisis who were simply looking for help envisioning life as an out, happy transgender person. Many were avoiding calling established emergency services because they suspected that mainstream organizations would not be able to help with transgender issues. “Most people are pretty aware of how [poorly] transgender people are treated,” she said.

Although Martela had no prior mental health training, she decided to do something about the lack of trans-specific emergency services. Last November, using $250 she raised from friends and open-source software she found online, Martela and her wife, Nina Chaubal, who is also a software engineer, started the Trans Lifeline.

They spread the word online and began recruiting operators from all over the country. “We had 18 operators by the end of November, but we had no idea what the call volume would be,” Martela said. On Nov. 20, the Transgender Day of Remembrance (an annual memorial for all the trans lives lost that year), Time.com published a brief article about the line. Within a few weeks, the Lifeline was receiving upward of 60 calls a day — far more than it was prepared to answer.

Eli Perry was one of those first callers.

He had a history of depression. His partner

had just broken up with him, on Christmas, and he was having trouble with his family.

When he decided to call the hotline, he was so nervous, he said, that “it took four tries to actually physically pick up the phone.”

He tried other suicide hotlines before, but they left him feeling worse. Like Martela, he found himself having to explain what “transgender” meant over and over again. “It left me feeling like this person literally does not understand what I am going through,” he said.

Suicide prevention professionals have long recognized the importance of services targeting specific populations. According to Testa, tailored services are better prepared to deal with the particular stresses that callers may be experiencing and are better able to offer advice and provide a sense of community.

The Trans Lifeline has trained 160 operators from across North America and has a waiting list of over 1,000 people who want to receive training.

Julie Cerel, an associate professor at the University of Kentucky who studies suicide prevention, said that while there is no research on the efficacy of matching suicidal people with demographically similar counselors, she believes it has a positive effect.

“To know that the person on the other end of the phone is someone who has had experiences similar to yours is exactly what’s needed for people who are reluctant to use more mainstream resources,” she said.

For Perry, that was one of the most important things that the Lifeline had to offer. “It inspired me just knowing that you can be a happy trans adult,” he said. Nearly a year later, he now volunteers as a counselor on the line.

Martela said the Lifeline is still in “emergency mode,” so operator training relies on a “two-hour crash course” so they can have as many people as possible working on the line. Volunteers are evaluated by a trainer, and more-experienced operators periodically listen in during calls to help them improve their skills.

From the start, raising money has been difficult. After Leelah Alcorn, a transgender teen in Ohio, killed herself late last year, the Lifeline received a flurry of online donations.

This enabled Martela to leave her job and work full time on the line. Still, she estimated that The Lifeline raises “about 25 percent of the money that we need on a monthly basis,” even as demand grows. In a little under a year, the hotline has logged over 20,000

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

calls from 5,500 people around the United States and Canada.

To date, the Lifeline has trained 160 operators from across North America and has a waiting list of over 1,000 people who want to receive training.

Without adequate staff, however, operators miss calls every day. “We answer as many as we can, but we’ve never been able to handle the entire volume,” she said. “There’s just more need than we’re really funded for.”

The hardest part of the work,

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Martela said, is that occasionally the only recourse available to callers is to leave the situation they’re in. She recognizes that this is unorthodox advice and perhaps not what other suicide prevention hotlines might recommend. But this gets back to the very reason for the Lifeline’s existence: Its operators grasp the lived experience of being transgender in America and understand that, sometimes, starting over is the best bet. Q

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In November

of 2014 I got my name and gender marker changed in Utah.

I did this at the Third District court of Salt Lake County in Salt Lake City. I want to share my story about how that whole process went for me so that it may benefit others in the future.

The first step to this process was to contact the department of corrections and filling out a form and mailing it to them along with a self-addressed, stamped envelope confirming that I was not a registered sex offender. About a week later I received my reply that I was, indeed, not a sex offender.

I was now ready to file all of my paperwork with the court for my name change.

Along with that document, I needed a cover letter for court proceedings, a petition for legal name change, a request for hearing and a final court order changing my name. There is no specific form for changing your gender in Utah, so you simply ask for that to be changed as well when asking for the name change. In the name change petition, when it asked why I wanted to change my name, I simple stated that, “I have been living as a woman and wish to have my name and gender marker, accordingly.” Since I wanted both my name and gender changed it was important that I noted that in the petition since not doing so could very well mean that I would have to file a second petition, ask for a second hearing and pay a second fee at a later date; definitely some-

thing to avoid. Another thing I needed was a letter from the OB/GYN whom I was seeing for my transition-related care saying I had completed “appropriate treatment” to be designated as female.

Once I had all of this paperwork completed, I went to the probate clerk at the Third District Court in Salt Lake City to file it. The only mistake I made was not having the completed final court order changing my name, since I assumed I wouldn’t need that until the actual hearing. The clerk told me that I should have had it, but it shouldn’t be a problem as long as I have it filled out and bring it with me to the actual hearing. I showed them my ID, signed the petition in front of them so that it could be notarized and paid the filing fee of $360. About a week later I got a call from the court telling me the date and time for my hearing, which was three weeks away.

On my hearing date I went to the court with my parents. Since I was going to be presenting in front of the judge, I wore a skirt and tried to look as formal as possible. At the hearing I gave them the final order changing my name. I explained to the constable that I should have filed it with my other paperwork, because the judge asked about it. I also gave them the letter from my OB/ GYN when it was asked for. The whole proceeding took about 15 minutes and when it was done the judge approved my petition for name change and also wrote into the order: “The requested gender change is approved. Petitioner henceforth may identify herself as female.”

After the ruling, I took the paperwork back downstairs to the probate clerk and asked for five certified copies at $5 each for a total of $25. I made the extra copies since I thought various state agencies would want to keep a copy for themselves; turns out the extra copies were unnecessary as everyone I presented it to simply made their own copy and handed mine back.

Once I had the certified copies of the order, I went to the Department of Health to get a new birth certificate with my

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

new name and gender on it; the fee for which was $25. The lady there was very nice and when I showed her my ID I must have pulled a face because she giggled and said, “don’t worry, it can be changed.”

I filled out more paperwork, signed one paper with the old name then the other paper with the new name. The whole process took maybe 10 minutes and when I was done the lady printed out a new birth certificate at which point she said, “congratulations,” as she presented it to me. The new birth certificate does show the amendments on the bottom that say “gender changed from M,” “first name changed from,” etc. I don’t personally have a problem with it in my case but it is something to keep in mind for anyone else getting this done in Utah as they might want to try asking the court if they can have their records sealed.

Once I had the new birth certificate I proceeded to the Driver License Division to get my new driver license ($18) that listed my now-legal female name and gender and then proceeded to the Social Security Administration to do the same.

I also updated my information with the people support manager at work, who said he’ll make sure they update all of my insurance information as well. He told me that if my new insurance cards arrive and they don’t have the proper name on them, I should come to him as soon as possible so that he can get it fixed. I updated all of my banking information and really only have to apply for a new passport at this point and possibly contact my high school about updating my information there.

The whole process of changing and updating my identity was relatively easy and the whole process took less than two months. Now I’m legally a woman and am actually surprised by how much better I feel simply having a seemingly insignificant letter “F” on my documents.

OTHER NOTES: It is not necessary to have any kind of surgery to get your name and gender changed in Utah; all you need is a letter from you physician that states that you have received “appropriate treatment.” I have not had surgery and had actually only been living as a woman full time for a mere 7 weeks at the time of my hearing and had no issues getting this all changed over.

Despite Utah’s conservative reputation; it is actually currently one of the most progressive, or perhaps libertarian, states in this regard. Q

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

‘F*ck the Pain Away’ performer talks childhood trans friend, penis onesies and gender fluidity

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

“Look.

I don’t have breasts anymore.”

Peaches is reminiscing on a dear friend she grew up with, when he showed up at her door, and came out to her as transgender. Memories of their summers spent together spill out of her as if they happened yesterday.

They didn’t, of course. Those summers are long past. But the influence of Sean (then Susan) on young Peaches endures because it was “quite big,” the music-making provocateur reveals as she traces her own path to self-discovery.

The Toronto-born, Berlin-based Peaches is 46 now, and as a revered wielder of raunch, she has devoted her 20-year career to cutting down gender norms with her electroclash throwdowns. And sex – she sings a lot about that too.

After dropping her 1995 debut Fancypants Hoodlum, released under her birth name, Merrill Beth Nisker, she ignited a sexual frenzy with “Fuck the Pain Away,” a song that’s about as subtle as its title. With a colorful tracklist that includes “Vaginoplasty” and “Dick in the Air,” Rub, her latest queer contribution, doesn’t beat around the bush either.

In conversation, Peaches is just as free-

wheeling. During our interview, the performance artist talked penis onesies, menstruation and learning to love your vagina.

You studied theater but then ended up going into music. How surrounded were you by queer culture during that period in your life? And how did what you experience shape you and your desire to explore queerness in your art? It was an arts culture, but it wasn’t necessarily queer at that time. But I did have a serious relationship at the time with a woman – or a girl, or a girl becoming a woman – so I was growing up spending my summers, from when I was 7 to 14, with one person. Her childhood name was Su-san, and she told me when she was 7, “I’m a guy. I don’t know why I’m in this woman’s body.”

She used to punch me in the stomach and be like, “See how strong I am!” She was just a very strong character. Also humorous but scathing too – quite tortured. And then slowly, she became a man. At 18 she came over and said, “Look. I don’t have breasts anymore,” and became who he wanted to be: Sean. So early on I was already questioning these things through the experience of the one person I spent all my summers with.

When did you feel you had a handle on who you were? I was pretty spaced out for a long time and then, I don’t know. I guess, like, 30.

(Laughs) How would you describe Rub to a 12-year-old kid? “This is an album you listen to to make your parents angry.” It’s exactly what a 12-yearold wants to listen to. You wanna giggle along to “Dick in the Air.” Kids are way more advanced now. They can handle this.

You think so? Yeah. And if they can’t, then they have very good mechanisms of denial.

I know I did in my head, and then years later, I’d be like, “Oh wait, I like that song” or, “That thing I didn’t understand — I get it now!” I remember hearing that song by Berlin called “Sex (I’m A)” on the radio and being like, “What was that?!”

How did you first learn about sex? Wow. I don’t really remember, which is funny. I do remember being in the shower with my mother and asking her what a period was.

How did she explain a period? Just very matter of factly. I remember kids three years older than me being like, “Do you put a period at the end of a sentence?”

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Pun intended. Yeah – see. It’s probably why I’m so punny.

Why has sex – and not just sex, but visceral, in-your-face sex – been such a muse in your career? It’s not just sex. My concern is, why aren’t people comfortable in their own bodies? Why are we denying ourselves talking directly about what it is that makes us tick, and why do we have to cover it up? And then also, just in pop music – back then, why was it always skirting around the issue? Literally skirting around the issue. Pun intended.

It just amazed me, the imbalance of how men would express themselves in classic rock songs. Rod Stewart stuff. “Spread your wings and let me come inside.” Why am I singing that? Why is half the population singing that? I wanna sing my way. So I did it my way, wondering why there was this imbalance and why I like these songs. I’m singing along with old blues songs too. But, actually, old blues songs were more balanced, like Bessie Smith: “I need a little sugar in my bowl; I need a little hot dog on my roll.” You know, there’s nothing subtle about that.

There was a time when it was taboo for females to be frank about their sexuality.

You really blazed that trail. And I’m really happy about that. (People) would be like, “Why do you write these songs?” And I’d be like, “I feel like this is a missing link in what we actually need to evolve into,” and also, yeah, questioning what was mainstream and saying, “I don’t want to bow to the mainstream; I want the mainstream to come up to me.” Now, 15 years later, the mainstream actually is coming to me. So I’m like, “Woooohoooo.”

What is your opinion of sex in mainstream culture these days? The same. What do you think?

Not because I like it, but what comes to mind is that J. Lo and Iggy Azalea video for “Booty.”

Ack! It just doesn’t work as a song. If it worked as a song, maybe it would be interesting. I would think more of Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé’s “Feeling Myself,” and (Nicki) says “I’m feelin’ myself, jack rabbit” – that’s such a good line. I think that Nicki Minaj broke it. And people say, “Peaches, how can you like Nicki Minaj?” I’m like, no, she broke through hip-hop. She slays all these guys and they know it. It’s undeniable.

Beyond sex, you’ve famously subverted gender norms. Yeah, make it all fluid.

What kind of influence do you think Miley

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Cyrus and Caitlyn Jenner are having on the gender dialogue? They’re just opening up the dialogue. Let’s see if it’s a trend or if we’re really gonna change things, because things are moving exponentially in every direction. I mean, we still have Kim Davis.

I love that whoever wrote “Eye of a Tiger” (Survivor front man Frankie Sullivan) sued her for using the song. I’m so happy. When she got out of jail she did this whole speech, but she’s obviously mentally imbalanced.

And Donald Trump too.

And anybody who’s going by these completely heteronormative patriarchal attitudes – what are you hiding from? Not them specifically, but why do you find what I do, which is like, “Hey, let’s be open,” offensive or transgressive? It’s about being open so that everybody can actually become the person they are and feel comfortable in their own bodies. We do all these things to get away from our own bodies, but we live in them. I wrote a song called “Vaginoplasty” because people are like, “Oh, my vagina looks horrible; I need plastic surgery on my vagina” – not because of gender reassignment, not because of accidents, but purely for cosmetic reasons. And it’s like, “You came out of that thing – why are you so afraid of it?” It’s ridiculous to me.

It’s ridiculous how we deny our bodies and have all these stipulations and family values, which are just patriarchal family values, it seems. Like Ashley Madison websites — come on. That is not a normal way to live, where you have all these secrets because you can’t keep that front. There are urges and things we really need. Why are we denying ourselves that?

There’s always been subtext to your hypersexual songs. And there are layers and layers there, and listeners can choose to dig and dig or purely see them as bedroom bump songs. Then goal achieved. Thank you. It should be a bedroom bump song or a party song, or you go like, “Oh, what am I singing about? What am I singing along to?” And then you’re like, “Oh. Cool. Wow.” In that way, regarding multiple purposes, I relate more to female comedians like Tina Fey, Natasha Leggero, Amy Schumer, Tig Notaro and Margaret Cho because they do the same thing – they make you laugh, and then you’re like, “Oh my god, she’s right.

Holy shit. What are we re-ally doing?” So I realize that I relate more to, actually, a lot of older female comedians and performance artists than I do musicians.

When it comes to Rub, what do you want the primary takeaway to be? It’s just a celebration. Seriously. I want it to be like a post-gender and post-age celebration of becoming who you are.

Is it a reflection of who you are at this point in your life? Definitely. Do you want to get into the breakup songs yet?

Yes! Let’s talk about those. Yeah, because that helped in the middle of (working on) the album. Especially a song like “Free Drink Ticket,” which is a very angry song, but it’s a real emotion that everybody can relate to. When hurt happens to someone you love the most and then it becomes complete hate. It’s amazing that someone you love becomes someone you totally wanna murder, at least for a few months.

And this is how you felt after the breakup you experienced while recording this album? Yeah, definitely. I think a lot of people do. “I wanna kill that person!” But then you get over it. It was an interesting twist of events, not unlike Kim Gordon or Björk — very similar situation. It was just bizarre that I was in sort of the same position; they’re both in my age range, so it was kind of like, “Wow, how am I gonna deal with this?”

Have you ever had sex to your own music? No! Are you crazy? That’s disgusting.

Someone tried and I was like, “Forget it, buddy – get out!” Actually... it was a woman.

Where can I get a knitted dick onesie like the one you and Margaret Cho wear in the video for “Dick in the Air”? A friend of mine found those, so I think you’ll have to knit one yourself. Also, I found a documentary online where they used these outfits to talk about family units, and it’s funny because they blur out the knitted penises and the knitted breasts. It’s amazing.

But what she found were five Caucasian outfits – an old man, an old woman, a young boy, a young woman and a person with both breasts and dick – and then there was a brown person’s costume, and a yellow one for Asian people and also a redhead with a very little weenie. Actual-ly, the Asian one had the largest penis.

What’s it like wearing it? Um, very hot and sweaty. We were in L.A. I chose the old man’s outfit. I wanted to know what it’s like when your balls hang low. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, and ­chris-azzopardi.com and is on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

The Gay Agenda

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

BY TONY HOBDAY

ANNUAL EVENTS

Spy Hop Productions presents the premieres of four films by the Utah youth of today, and produced over the last year through the intensive program PitchNic. Find out who could very well be the next Jesse Pepe, Frank Feldman, Dustin Lance Black, or Elizabeth Banks (I needed a woman...that’s who I came up with, so sue me!)

5

THURSDAY — PITCHNIC WORLD PREMIERE Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm. Tickets $8, arttix.org

CONCERTS Unfortunately I haven’t been staying abreast (I wish there was an emoticon for giggling) on new, up-and-coming music artists, so the majority of the lineup below was compiled using my keen eye for band member/singer hotness. And, well ... The Front Bottoms?

Really?!!

7

SATURDAY — THE FRONT BOTTOMS The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6:30pm. Tickets $16.50 Adv/$20 Day Of, smithstix.com

10

TUESDAY — AN EVENING WITH MACY GRAY Liquid Joe’s, 1249 E. 3300 South, 7pm.

Tickets $35 Adv/$40 Day Of, smithstix. com

20

FRIDAY — MODERN BASEBALL The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6pm.

Tickets $13.50 Adv/$16 Day Of, smithstix.com

21

SATURDAY — DUSTIN LYNCH The Depot, 400 S. Temple, 7:30pm. Tickets: $29.50 Adv/$35 Day Of, smithstix. com — TOBY LIGHTMAN The Club @ 50 West, 50 W. Broadway, 8:30pm. Tickets $20, smithstix.com

22

SUNDAY — THE CHAINSMOKERS The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7pm.

Tickets $17 Adv/$22 Day Of, smithstix. com

MOVIES

Get your holiday shopping started today, and in the spirit of giving, your purchases will benefit animal rescue. Check out local handmade gifts, jewelry, baked and jarred goods and other gifts for the family including your own Toto or Liza or Roxie Poodle Nose.

A sex symbol of his time, the “dreamy” Tab Hunter wooed the women, and daresay a few men? The actor/singer “outed” by Hollywood? Find out his true proclivities in this biographic film.

I wonder what would happen if Hollywood tried to out Meryl Streep, I mean the bitch wears Prada. Anyhoo, her new film about women’s suffrage is almost ironic, I mean hasn’t the bitch suffered enough with all her Oscars, Golden Globes and trillions of dollars ... Oh wait, she’s being screwed by Nobel.

14

SATURDAY — HOWLIDAY BAZAAR The Family Dog, 4050 S. 2700 East, Holladay, 10am-4pm. Free, utahbassethoundrescue.com

6

DANCE

13

FUNDRAISERS

“Sailors on leave during World War II start the show off with a bang” Ballet West tantalizes our senses and, for me and Joshua Jones at least, our libido. Opening night of Iconic Classics includes a red carpet welcome, post-show dessert reception, live music and prize drawings. Next, “revel” in Repertory Dance Theatre’s glory when they celebrate its alumni dancers and choreographers.

6

FRIDAY — ICONIC CLASSICS Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through Nov. 14. Ticket prices $19-87, on 11/6 only $64-122, arttix.org

19

THURSDAY — REVEL Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Nov. 21. Tickets $30, arttix.org

FRIDAY — TAB HUNTER CONFIDENTIAL Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org FRIDAY — SUFFRAGETTE Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway, times vary. Tickets $6.759.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

THEATRE Pioneer Theatre Company stages an Irish-style Hatfield and McCoy story.

It’s funny though, the title seems to indicate a story about golf. Phew! Anyhoo, written by Academy and Pulitzer winner for Moonstruck and Doubt (the movie version starred that poor, withering bitch Streep) John Patrick Shanley, the show asks and answers ‘is it eternal love?’ And Pygmalion Productions stages an outrageous comedy about the harrowing suffrage of Hollywood actors. But this one is about Barbra Streisand ... now she has definitely suffered, have you seen the schnoz?

1

SUNDAY — OUTSIDE MULLINGAR Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU, times vary, through Nov. 14. Tickets $25-49, pioneertheatre.org

6

FRIDAY — BUYER AND CELLAR Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Selena Gomez talks lesbian rumors, (maybe) dating gay men and how she’s proud of Nick Jonas’ love for everyone’

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Selena

Gomez is alive, revived and relieved.

After photos turned up in 2014 of Gomez scrub-a-dub-dubbing with gal pal Cara Delevingne, who’s openly bisexual, what transpired? Gay gossip, of course.

Gomez doesn’t care, she says, “because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful.”

In fact, regarding the blogosphere buzz, Gomez, 23, tells me she “loved it,” a testament to the entertainer’s true-to-herself, not-really-caring-what-you-thinkanymore persona. That same perspective is reflected in all the dizzying late-night pillow talk throbbing throughout her sexually liberated and self-reflective second studio album, Revival.

For a small-screen darling who grew up under the watchful eye of Disney, Gomez’s openness both on the album and in conversation is refreshing. After recently revealing that she was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease lupus in 2013, she concurs that, yes, this is her coming out party of sorts. (Actually, the way she puts it is, “werk!”)

And so it is, as Gomez speaks candidly about other aspects of her life: “absolutely” questioning her sexuality, growing up around her mom’s gaggle of mimosa-sippin’ gays and – cue the awws – her admiration for ex-flame Nick Jonas’ “love and compassion for everyone.”

Growing up in Grand Prairie, Texas, what was your introduction to the gay community? You have to understand: My mother is absolutely fantastic and she worked at a modeling agency when I was a very young girl, so every Sunday I would have brunch with her and all of her gays, and I just remember a lot of mimosas. It was the best. So, I’ve been around it my whole life and, you know, I love it. I have to tell you: On my 16th birthday my mom had a bunch of drag queens come out and they sang “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)” and it was sooo funny.

As someone raised Catholic, accepting the LGBT community was never an issue for you then? Not at all. Look: There’s a huge difference in how I was brought up; the word “religion” is a very complex thing. It’s something you have to follow, and that’s not what faith is. Anybody who has a higher power, anybody who has anything they believe in: If you don’t know how to love other people, I don’t believe in it. It doesn’t work that way.

Have you ever met a Selena Gomez drag queen? Yes! I had one who did one of the viral videos of “Love You Like a Love Song” (Willam Belli’s “Love You Like a Big Schlong”). [She] did a nasty version of it, which was hysterical, and I went to the Logo NewNowNext Awards and I got to meet her, which was amazing. Honestly, I feel like that’s when I made it – genuinely! I emailed it to my mom and she emailed it and CC’d everybody.

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it.

I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

Your friend Demi Lovato played a lesbian on Glee, starring as Naya Rivera’s love interest. Who would you choose as an onscreen lesbian love interest? That’s a long list! Suki Waterhouse – she’s a model; she was Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend.

As a performer, when were you first aware you had an LGBT following? My first single was when I was 16 and that went to No. 1 on the Dance Club charts so that was my introduction. I don’t think people really knew me, so I don’t know if it was a following necessarily, but once I hit “Love You Like a Love Song” status, that’s really when I started realizing it. And it was the best!

My concerts used to be little kids, and then seeing the entire front row being all these guys who were wearing neon T-shirts and just losing their minds – it’s incredible.

And then you see the jocks in the other corner throwing their boxers on stage. It’s like, “Oh gosh.” It’s amazing.

You say “oh gosh” like it’s a problem. (Laughs) Well, it is a little bit; come on.

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Do you keep your gay fans in mind when you create music, particularly with Revival? Absolutely. One-hundred percent. Even with my earlier stuff, I’ve always tapped into it, and at the end of the day I’m a full-on pop artist, so I wanted the tracks to be incredible because I know how important that is. But on top of that, having the lyrics be equally as important was something I needed to do for this album. I think it just kind of came together really well. I spent a year on it and I poured everything I had into this album, and I was thinking of everyone. I was thinking of my diehard fans from everywhere.

Have you ever dated or fallen for a gay man? Honestly, I don’t have that story, but two of my best friends do and it’s very Will and Grace-like, which I love. But no, I haven’t actually experienced it – wait, maybe that’s not fair to say. Maybe I won’t know? Maybe I don’t know? (Laughs) I just thought about that. Oh my gosh. I’m thinking about my whole life now.

Nick Jonas, Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner.

Aesthetically speaking, you have good taste in men. How jealous do your gay guy friends get of the people you’ve dated? Oh gosh, they’re more into it than I am. Honestly! Part of the reason I probably went out on a few dates is because of them. They’re just like, “Go! Go!” I’m like, “No!” They’re all about it, for sure.

So your gay friends are your matchmakers? All the time. Whoever I’m with or like or don’t like, they’re all about dissecting it and putting me with other people.

It must be fascinating for you to see Nick Jonas become such a gay icon. His outreach… his underwear pics… And his (gay) characters that he’s been playing! Scream Queens and the other show, Kingdom, which I thought was super rad. We actually talked about it at dinner one time. He’s incredible, and I think it’s amazing. I’ve known him for years – we were 14 when we met – so it’s crazy, because I actually knew him at a different time in his life. Now, to see him have this amazing perspective on life is awesome. I’m really proud of him.

Are you surprised by the way he’s connected with the gay community? Yeah, for sure! Not in a bad way, but I was like, “Thank you.” It was kind of incredible for somebody to step

out of their zone for a minute. It’s really incredible to see what he’s done.

It’s incredible to not really be in a judgmental place and to really let down all of your guards. I just think you have to really let go, and you do have to find this in your heart. He clearly has had a love and compassion for everyone, and I think that’s great.

The cover of your album, where you’re basically naked, is pure empowerment. You seem very comfortable in your own skin. Every other day it changes, but this year is a very important year for me. A lot of discovering and exploring who I am. It was exciting for me while also being a little complicated; I had dealt with certain body issues and things like that. Once the album was put together and I went through so many different emotions, I knew that this was my moment to really share my heart, because there are so many people who follow or look up to me who are dealing with so much in their own life. I just want to give my all to it – give all of myself literally.

Are there any gay people in your life currently who helped you on your journey to self-actualization? Yes, one of my dearest – his name is Gweny. He’s been on my Instagram many times – featured on my Insta! (Laughs) But he’s very sweet and unbelievably confident.

He’s a dancer, so he knows how to move his body. Even when I dance, sometimes I’ll ask him to dance with me in the mirror so I can be comfortable in my movements. Sometimes I get a little self-conscious and don’t think I’m a great dancer and he’s able to pull me out of my head instantly. Also, I’ll wake up one morning and he’ll be cooking breakfast and all of a sudden The Sound of Music is on and it just makes my life happy. He’ll just run into my room and cheer me up and yeah, he’s been a huge part of the last four years of my life. He’s changed my life.

You have had to become an adult in front of the whole world. For you, how hard is it to grow up in the limelight? The worst part about it is the lack of forgiveness. When you’re a quote-end quote “child star,” it’s just unfair to be able to throw things at people when they don’t even know who they are yet. So that’s the only frustrating part because, ultimately, that’s life. Everybody goes through things, and more than anything,

I think it’s just the judgmental part. But I enjoy it. I love my life, and I’m so thankful for it. I have been able to experience life in a different way, and even though there are some low moments, it’s incredible to do what I do.

You’ve credited Taylor Swift as not just a friend but someone you admire. How often do you and her shake it off at the gay clubs? Oh my gosh – how chic! And all the time. Taylor and I literally will have mini dance parties with all of her dancers who are 100 percent gay (laughs) – and it’s the best feeling ever! It is so fun, and we just lose our minds.

So wherever you and Taylor are, it’s always a gay club? Even in her apartment? Yeah, in New York! On tour! Backstage! The whole thing.

What is the most common misconception people have of you? Lack of credibility. I understand that I come from Disney or whatever, but I feel like I’ve just scratched the surface of what I wanna do in film and music, to be honest. Even though I’ve been doing it for a while, I don’t feel like I have really gone there yet, and that’s fine. I think I gotta grow into it and make mistakes and learn and whatnot, but I do feel like that [credibility] is the one thing that people don’t give me enough of.

Do you ever Google yourself? I have, yes. It’s very dangerous. I can’t do it often. I didn’t do it after the album came out because I didn’t know what the reviews were gonna be, and I mean, I can’t do anything about it now – the album is out – so I have to be confident in what I released. But yes, I have, of course.

If people text me things or if I hear people talking about stuff, yeah, I’ll do it.

What is the craziest thing you’ve read about yourself? What have I not read about myself at this point?! My gosh. I think I’ve been pregnant 15 times. That’s always been the craziest thing for me, which is my favorite.

I’ll be at the beach and have the flattest stomach or not and regardless, I’ll be pregnant. It’s the most hysterical thing to me.

To debunk any rumors of a 16th baby – are you pregnant right now? No, nope – definitely not! (Laughs) Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate and his website at chris-azzopardi.com and Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

hear me out 11 Classic Madonna Moments From Her ‘Rebel Heart Tour’

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Be still

my gay heart.

Though Madonna’s latest spectacle, Rebel Heart Tour, spotlights her 13th studio album of the same name, the concert queen still reached into her back pocket and pulled out a swoonworthy collection of classics. Ones she hasn’t touched in years – and an exclusive addition just for her fellow Detroiters.

“Hometown girl is back!” Madonna proudly declared on Oct. 1 in Detroit.

And, oh yes, she was. The icon’s stop at Joe Louis Arena could only be described as the stuff of dreams, a delicious fusion of old and new, writhing nuns and blissed-out fun. Rebel Heart was all sweet… not sticky.

And nostalgic.

Gays have so much to be thankful for.

‘TRUE BLUE’ “Baby, I love you,” Madonna gushed, dipping into her back catalog for this adorable 1985 relic. Stripped of its pop sheen, “True Blue” became a finger-snappin’, hand-clappin’ campfire sing-along, with Madonna plucking away at a ukulele. Yes, baby, we love you too.

‘DEEPER AND DEEPER’ In 2004, for the Re-Invention World Tour, she took her great disco rave from 1992’s Erotica to the cabaret, quieting it down for a lounge-style slowie. Not this time. For Rebel Heart, “Deeper and Deeper” retained its original pulse, dizzying the crowd of queers with its dance

spins as Madge and her crew worked the heart-capped catwalk with a voguish hustle.

‘BURNING UP’ Flame bursts boomed from behind Madonna on a towering backdrop, but the diva herself was the one bringing the heat. As she punched her electric guitar, transforming this 1983 fan favorite into a rockin’ rush, someone probably should’ve called 911.

‘LIKE A VIRGIN’ Bitch, she’s Madonna. Owning the stage like a boss during a solo hip-hop take on “Like a Virgin,” Madonna bounced her booty during a ravishing display of agelessness – proof that Pilates and full-powered Beyoncé-type fans are a girl’s best friends.

‘LA ISLA BONITA’ Toro, toro! No, there wasn’t a bull, and this wasn’t “Take a Bow” (sigh). Hand to pelvis, Madonna moved to the Spanish vibes of “La Isla Bonita,” showing off her slow mo gyrations amidst her festively-attired stage gang who came together for a performance that was muy bien.

‘DRESS YOU UP’ MEDLEY If Madonna wants to spoil us, who are we to argue? Not only did “Dress You Up” (in full!) make the cut, but the diva went deep into the ’80s for “Into the Groove” and “Lucky Star,” essentially giving life to all basking in her presence. #Humanitarian

‘WHO’S THAT GIRL’ Dusting off the title song from her 1987 film, Who’s that Girl, Madonna gave this ditty a guitar-guided makeover – nearly 30 years after last performing it on tour!

Despite the fact that Madonna was actually there, donning gypsy attire and taking our collective breath away, it was hard to tell if this was real life.

‘FROZEN’ This used to be her playground, which Madonna enthused during her hometown stop, proclaiming that, “Detroit made me who I am today.” And she didn’t stop there.

She swapped set-list staple “Ghost Town” for “Frozen,” her stunning Ray of Light-era trip to the dark side, stripped to merely the rawness of acoustic guitar and a vocal that left everyone, well, you guessed it: frozen.

‘MATERIAL GIRL’ Raise your hand if you wet yourself during this one. Beyond the obvious fact that “Material Girl” sits atop Madonna’s smoldering hit heap, the way she folded it into Rebel Heart – simple, chic, Great Gatsby-inspired – was pure blast-from-thepast pleasure.

‘LOVE DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE’ After shoving a faux lover down a spiral staircase at the end of “Heartbreak City,” Madonna caused a ruckus when she launched into her showstopping ballad “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore,” from 1984’s Like a Virgin. It was just a snippet, a tease – because, you know, she’s Madonna.

‘HOLIDAY’ It didn’t take this, the encore, to know that Madonna had let her hair down again, ditching brooding theatrics for the essence of early Madonna: frilly fun. Rebel Heart Tour was a two-hour-plus celebration of Madonna’s career, and it all came to a boisterous, confetti-filled head with “Holiday.” Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, and his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

the bookworm sez

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

“And West is West”

BY RON CHILDRESS C.2015, ALGONQUIN BOOKS OF CHAPEL HILL | $26.95 / $36.95 | CANADA | 320 PAGES

Six degrees of separation.

That, supposedly, is the difference between you and any given person on the planet. Your dentist, for example, knows somebody who knows someone who… and pretty soon, you’re linked to a famous scientist or Hollywood star. It’s a fun pastime, that Six Degrees thing, and surprisingly easy to do but in the new novel “And West is West” by Ron Childress, it could also be a deadly game.

Living with Zoe wasn’t originally Ethan’s desire.

She’d stayed at his Manhattan condo many times — they were a couple, after all — but he was still surprised when he heard himself ask her to move in, and equally surprised that she agreed. Yes, he loved her — which was something he only truly realized just before she left for a job in D.C. Heartbroken, Ethan turned to his other love: coding for United Imperial Bank.

For him, it was the perfect job. UIB gave him an office and freedom to write algorithms to follow terrorists in order to follow the markets, creating serious money for Ethan and for his employers. That, plus Zoe, could’ve made him happy.

Except Zoe was gone, then someone set Ethan up to fail at work and his job was gone, too.

And just as he thought things were looking up, Zoe was dead

and Ethan was left holding the secrets of her life that her parents couldn’t tell her.

It always seemed as though Jessica Aldridge was running.

She ran away from her mother’s alcoholism as a child.

She ran away from family as a teen. She ran to the Air Force, where she became a highlytrained drone pilot but, since a remote strike had gone horribly wrong and someone had to take the fall for it, she ran from that, too.

But Jessica had just been following orders then. Her real mistake, she understood, was confiding her misgivings to the wrong person: her imprisoned father, whom she barely knew.

She also understood that the government wasn’t going to take a breach of security lightly — and with the FBI on her tail, Jessica had to run again…

I have to admit that I was no big fan of “And West is West” when I started it. Its first few pages were more techy than I expected, and I wasn’t in the mood for that.

Whoo, was I glad I stayed.

Once you get past the prologue, author Ron Childress takes readers in a whole different, unexpected direction with what seems like a profile of a psychologically flawed man. Ethan, in fact, is driven, indecisive, and so very imperfect — which makes him the perfect distraction from the page-ripping thriller that is Jessica. It seems unlikely, then, that the two are connected, but you’ll recall that six degrees stuff?

Yep, and it doesn’t even take that many steps.

This is one of those keepsyou-up-at-night, miss-yoursubway-stop kinds of books that you’ll pass around to friends. It’s one to take to your book club. For sure, “And West is West” is a solid ten. Q

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Q doku Level: Easy

73 6 1 2

4

3 6 4 2 19 29 3 5 67 34 6 2 8 3

4

5

7

6 2

8

41 5 6

4

4

3

1

5

9

5

35 2 61 9 6 4 97 3 42 1 9 3 7 8 736 92 45 9 4 6 547 2 8 7 51 4 9 1 25 7

35

72 3

58 9 715 241 9 8 6 49 8 1

2 63 51 4 1 6 9 5 6

6 7

1 8

2

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6

9 7 4 8 32 7 51 9 2 86 81 4 9 64 9 2

“SAVVY, ROLLICKING, EYE-POPPING” — VANITY FAIR

“RIVETING & INSIGHTFUL” — INDIEWIRE

FROM THE DIRECTOR OF I AM DIVINE

STARTS TOWER THEATRE East 900 South FRIDAY 876 Salt Lake City, Utah 84105 NOV. 6 801-321-0310 TA B H U N T E R C O N F I D E N T I A L . C O M

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

food & drink Munching at Murphy’s 160 Main Street, Salt Lake City

BY JOSHUA JONES

Murphy’s

bills itself as a step down in social clubs. That is truth in advertising – but only in one physical sense – you must navigate three steps off Main Street to get into this cozy pub. Once you’re in, I would suggest that you’re actually in a step-up from some of the newer lounges and bars in the downtown area. The food is consistent and above average, and the service, with bartenders like Laura, Riley, and Jason is always above par. In fact, all the help, from bartenders, to servers, to cooks are friendly, witty and chatty. I’m a little sorry that I had never gone into Murphy’s until a year ago when I took a job nearby, because it has quickly become one of my favorite watering holes.

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Murphy’s has been in the same location for 17 years. In this town of always-changing taste, that fact, alone, is a testament to everything about the bar. The owner believes he is one of the five longest-running bars in Salt Lake.

Sometimes called the “Trapp East” the bar is very gay-friendly. On any given day Riley Richter and Taxi Jeff, along with a dozen other regulars from Sun Trapp, can be seen at Murphy’s. Recently the owner remarked that he was quite proud that his bar is diverse and takes pride in the fact that people feel safe there. At least, I think that is what he said, his Irish accent is very authentic.

There are some very creative appetizer items on the menu you won’t find anywhere else, and there are some bar-food standards, which have been elevated, and taste better than anyplace else. The prosciutto-wrapped

jalapeno stuffed with cream cheese is an example of the thought going into their food, especially when you add the blackberry coulis on the side; perfect for dipping — balancing the flavors as well as adding a nice cooling effect to the spicy jalapeno. Another unique menu item is the Salt City Fries with sweet potato fries, bacon and bleu cheese crumbles, and buzzed with Utah honey. It’s a sophisticated, vegetarian poutine of sorts that has some dynamic flavors. The Irish nachos with home-cut potato chips smothered in cheese, topped with bacon, red onions, jalapenos, sour cream, and cilantro are also delicious and filling.

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FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

about the pulled pork, which is house-smoked and pulled with a homemade BBQ sauce.

The toasted bun is filled with meat and then topped with red onion, coleslaw and pickles.

If you’re at Murphy’s for dinner, a few things like the Shepherd’s pie and bangers and Mash are old school, delicious and you won’t find them on too many menus in Utah. But the one item I really love (and on too many menus) is the fish and chips. So many restaurants have some mediocre variation, but Murphy’s is one of the best (yes, I was surprised too). The beerbattered North Atlantic cod is fresh cut off the giant fish each day and the batter is light, allowing the fresh fish to shine.

The bar just re-signed their lease, meaning they’ll be there for at least five more years, but readers, I implore to your drinking and eating sensibilities: don’t wait, go, and enjoy this “step down in social clubs!” Q

Omar’s

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BEER NUT inc.

A lot of bars in town skip over lighter fares and salads, so finding a few calorie-friendly options on this menu is a welcome change from the “let’s deep-fry everything” mentality.

The prosciutto, apple, and arugula salad tossed in lemon juice and olive oil served with nice big pieces of shaved Parmesan is on par with any of the moreelegant restaurants nearby and, at $9.00, is a complete steal.

A recent addition, the orzo cucumber salad with olive oil, lemon juice, basil, parsley, chives and red onion is a perfect appetizer or lite lunch.

I’m certain that if readers try either the funky chicken or pulled pork sandwiches, they’ll return many times.

The flattened and blackened chicken is topped with bleu cheese, bacon, and burgundyglazed onions on ciabatta with arugula and tomato. Yes, it’s basically a chicken sandwich, but made with a lot of love.

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

DINING GUIDE

‘GO-TO’ PLACES For this year’s dining guide, we let you, our readers, tell us where to go for great eats

UNDER CURRENT

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

1) YOUR GO-TO RESTAURANT WHEN FRIENDS ARE IN TOWN

We start with our restaurant reviewer, JOSH JONES: Recently, we’ve been taking friends and family to UNDER CURRENT, the lounge next to Current on Broadway.

We recently took a trip to Provincetown, Mass. and the oysters at Under Current seemed just as fresh and sweet as the ones which were picked out of the ocean that morning in P-Town. Plus, the drinks are inventive, and delicately balanced. Cozy chairs, attentive service, and an interesting small-bites menu round out a near-perfect bar experience. (It could only be more perfect if, somehow, once inside you were transported to Provincetown.)

Next, our resident Greek gay father, CHRISTOPHER KATIS:. ARISTO’S. GREEK FOOD is more than souvlaki and gyros. Artisto’s offers authentic, traditional Greek cuisine in a high-end setting. It’s a nice place with great food. I particularly appreciate his special menu for Lent.

CHARLES LYNN FROST loves ­FORAGE, “The restaurant that put Bowman Brown and Viet Pham on the culinary map with Salt Lake City’s dining scene with the most innovative cuisine. Outstanding service, atmosphere, ambiance, and wine.”

Reader RUSSELL BOLTZ says it’s RED IGUANA for those who are visiting town, “as its the best Mexican food I’ve found in the city and everyone raves about it once I’ve taken them there.”

LES ROKA says TAKASHI for their “great ambience with solid sake and beer selection and comprehensive top-notch menu of sashimi, sushi, and great kitchen offerings.”

TAKASHI

MATTHEW J. LYON says THE DODO because, “after 20 years, I can order the same thing and it tastes the same. I’m down with consistency — no matter how many times they’ve moved.”

MERRILL CROSBIE takes friends to THE FIVE ALLS for its “spectacular food; spectacular views. (Though he says he doesn’t like the “really uncomfortable chairs and prom night.” “But the food and multiple courses are unparalleled,” he said.

ANN CLARK and RANDY GLASSCOCK both take friends to BLUE PLATE ­D INER because it’s relaxed, fun and unique to the area. Ann’s son JEREK CLARK also likes Blue Plate because “it’s really cheap, really good, and it just screams, “Utah!” ADRIAN RUIZ takes guests to CAFE TRIO on 9th East because “it’s very classy and relatives and friends enjoy the ambience and atmosphere.”

LUCAS FOWLER says HIMALAYAN KITCHEN makes it easy to accommodate dietary restrictions and preferences, and is “anything but boring food.” RIXT ­LUIKENAAR likes TIN ANGEL for the great atmosphere and food

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

2) YOUR GO-TO RESTAURANT TO GET AWAY

Back to JOSH JONES: “The redesigned, modernized, and etherealized ARIE ­R ESTAURANT has a democratized lounge that makes you want to ponderize. (Yes, I’ve been usurping the word). Driving up Little Cottonwood is a great way to melt away from Mormondom as you rise above the city and reach that concrete resort in the sky known as Snowbird. The Arie is on the top floor and has spectacular views of the canyon. The restaurant is sophisticated and delicious, but I prefer the more-relaxed bar environment where you’ll find friendly service and live music. If you’re into ponderizing, like me, some small bites, deep cocktails and comfortable couches next to the giant windows are going to become your most favorite place in Utah.

CHRISTOPHER KATIS and his husband get away at HIGHNOTE. “It’s kind of a funny name, but a great Thai restaurant.

The food is incredibly fresh, seasoned to perfection, and delicious. The place is

HIGHNOTE

small, intimate and a favorite place for our date nights CHARLES LYNN FROST and the Cowboy get away at GOLDENER HIRSCH, in part for the trip to stunning Deer Valley.

“One of the best rustic mountain charm locations in the world with chef Ryan Burnham, formerly of Pago. Candlelight

FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

alpine and local product, including Utah lamb, fish and beef, all prepared with meticulous perfection.

COURTNEY MOSER and MERRILL CROSBIE like to head up north to ­MADDOX RANCH HOUSE in Perry, Utah near Brigham City. “The rolls alone are worth the drive,” Crosbie says.

“Mmmm, raspberry honey butter (insert Homer Simpson drooling here).” Russell Boltz agrees, saying, “Maddox for that get-out-of-town feeling. Nothing says out of the city like farm-to-table meat with all the fixings.”

JONI ALEXANDRIA says going to CAFE SHAMBALA to get away. “Going there makes me long for India and brings back fond memories of my trips there. Their chai is the most authentic in the valley.”

DAVID SANDERSON gets away at LOG HAVEN for its “lovely location with good food. Nice for a romantic get away.”

ADRIAN RUIZ heads to TUSCANY RESTAURANT “because it’s been around for ages and it’s not overly expensive and the atmosphere is always good and I have very fond memories of that restaurant when I was younger. Which means’s I’m now older.”

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

MAZZA MIDDLE EASTERN CUISINE

DOUG WOOD says he has traveled to the Middle East from Israel to Egypt and even Iran and knows good Mediterranean food and really likes MAZZA MIDDLE EASTERN CUISINE. “Service is good and prices are not cheap but fair. Easily one of Salt Lake City’s best restaurants.”

RIXT LUIKENAAR heads up Emigration Canyon for RUTH S DINER, saying it’s not too far to drive and is a “great post call breakfast.”

IAN MURPHY gets away to WARRENS in Roy, “where everybody knows my name.

Good burgers, great salads and superb shakes and excellent service.”

3) YOUR GO-TO ALL-THE-TIME RESTAURANT CHARLES LYNN FROST and his husband

can often be seen at CANNELLAS RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE — “A charming tiny space with amazing Italian meals and a neighborhood feel. Courteous and friendly serving staff, fresh food,

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

dependable, and always excellent.”

CHRISTOPHER KATIS and his family love LONG LIFE VEGI HOUSE. “We have literally been going to this restaurant for 27 years. It’s inexpensive, the food is great, and the owners are fun. I highly recommend the vegetable soup — the noodles are homemade.”

LARRY FRAGA is adamant that everyone should go to KIM LONG VIETNAMESE in Layton. “Go to, go to, always go there,” he yells. “Great food, fresh ingredients, try anything on the menu, if you’ve never been there call ahead ask for Beverly.

She’ll explain and help you order to your liking.

End your meal with an avocado Boba.”

CONNIE PITTS loves KOBE ­JAPANESE RESTAURANT in Ogden for Sushi. “You all sit together or you can set NEW YORKER at sushi bar. And its not a huge wait to get in. Steve is my favorite sushi chef, he is a sushi artist,” she said.

BILLIE BILLS heads to THE BAYOU for “the closest thing to Cajun feel, good food and atmosphere, live bands, and good drink.

LES ROKA agrees with our publisher, MICHAEL AARON , that MARTINE CAFE AND TAPAS is a warm restaurant that Roka says has a “straightforward elegance in small dishes and locally grown food items that has you thinking you’re actually in Manhattan without exorbitant prices.”

Michael just likes to lunch with a Rioja.

MARTY STEINBERG is all about breakfast and loves EGGS IN THE CITY. “It’s kinda cramped, but the cooks actually know how to cook an egg, no matter how you ask for it. Some of the best hollandaise in town.”

We are cheating and letting IAN

MURPHY have two favorite restaurants:

GABOR BROTHERS MAIN STREET GRILL & PIZZERIA in Layton for their “superb soups and by far the best restroom in the state. it’s the only restaurant in Utah at which visiting the rest room is a must.” NEW YORKER “Because it’s all about the food. Terrific steaks, superb desserts and the most willing servers/staff.

Sure, the decor needs an update but everything else is spot on.”

RYAN CHIDESTER’s favorite place for Sunday brunch “in the whole valley” is SQUATTERS PUB BREWERY. “First, you don’t have to wait until 11:30 for mimosas - cha ching! Second, the food is consistently good. Might I recommend the chilaquiles, they will change your life.”

LEIGH-ANN PARREN ERICKSON eats at EL HABANERO in Magna, where she says the food is great, the atmosphere is great, and the owner is wonderful.

THERESA SCHUBACH says OH MAI in Holladay “because it is so damn good and inexpensive. I order the S8 every time; you can’t go wrong. If you don’t just gobble it down, I’ll buy it.”

ERIC SCHOENBAUM screams about PIG & A JELLY JAR. “Chicken and waffles ... absolutely the best. This cute little place is a local favorite. And the best part is that they serve adult beverages, too.” Q PIG & A JELLY JAR

FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

mr. manners

Table rules

BY ROCK MAGEN

If most

of your dining has started at the drive-thru or over the kitchen sink lately, you probably need a refresher course in proper etiquette at the table. In spite of the hurried nature of most people’s lives today, slowing down long enough to eat a meal in a civilized manner will give you a sense of peace and a chance to recharge your energy. The subject of dining etiquette can get quite lengthy if you let it; however, here are a few pointers that I feel will help you be successful. Using proper etiquette at the table will also help you socially and professionally, and who doesn’t want that?

In my personal experience, the best “refresher courses” are on what take place at the table. So, that being said, one of the first lessons I learned at the table is how to use the napkin. As soon as you’re seated, unfold your

napkin and place it in your lap. Don’t shake it open, and don’t tuck it into your collar. At some formal restaurants, the waiter may place the napkin on your lap, but it is always appropriate to place your own napkin if you wish. Leave the napkin in your lap until the end of the meal. If you need to use it to dab or wipe your mouth, do so discreetly and replace it on your lap, this does not need to be a grand gesture. Never use your napkin to wipe your nose.

When your food arrives, wait until everyone at the table is served before you begin to eat – this is a common courtesy.

In regard to the plating, it is good to remember, “food to the left, drink to the right.” Any food dishes to the left of your plate are yours, as are any drinking glasses to the right. For a formal place setting, use the silverware furthest from your plate first. Start with the salad fork on the outermost left, followed by the soup spoon on the outermost right.

That leaves your dinner fork to the left, and your beverage spoon and dinner knife to the right. Your dessert fork or spoon will either be above your plate or brought out with dessert.

There are two acceptable methods of using a fork and a knife, but for the same of simplicity, let’s just focus on the American style as it is the one with we are most familiar. American style is a knife in the right hand and a fork in the left hand, holding the food. After you cut a few bite-sized pieces of food, set the knife down on the edge of the plate and switch the fork over to your right hand (unless you’re left handed).

A left hand, arm or elbow on the table is always considered bad manners.

I don’t expect you to use these manners at all times and in all places. Dinner at home or a casual dinner with family is completely different than dining at the Ritz – but always use your best judgment.

At times this may feel extremely technical and you may get overwhelmed trying to remember all the nuances in dining etiquette. Let me offer you a word of advice, just breathe. As long as you are not at the table throwing around utensils and creating a mess, your behavior will be acceptable. Dining etiquette is an art, and like all good art it takes time to master. Q

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

BRONICORNS! — The adventures of two brothers going to BYU

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Brought to you by UGSA BYU, by Aaron Austin and Nathan Cunliffe

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER: HINT: SINGER

LEG NOSE MAZE

______ _____

cryptogram A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED

BY CS. THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: Y=L

ABEX FSETS ABETS EX RZEAO XALFTSO. E PUT’A QFTA AU SOTOLFYEHO AUU WZVB, GZA SFD WOT QULLD FGUZA FSETS F YUA WULO ABFT UABOL WOT, CLUW QBFA E VFT AOYY. ____ _____ _____ __ _____ ______. _ ___’_ ____ __ __________ ___ ____, ___ ___ ___ _____ _____ _____ _ ___ ____ ____ _____ ___, ____ ____ _ ___ ____.

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 54

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

Give thanks

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november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

q scopes

NOVEMBER

Bi Songs by ...

ACROSS 1 Olympic award for Ireen Wüst 6 Supporter of Julia Morgan?

10 They were under Hoover 14 Advil rival 15 Global rights org.

16 Drumbeat start 17 They’re green when you pluck them 18 *”I Kissed A Girl” singer 20 Non-Judy garland 21 “I’ve ___ had!”

23 Annoyances 24 Meat that may be tender 26 *With 45-Across, “Baby Blue” singer 27 The “T” in T.E. Lawrence 29 Doesn’t feel up 30 Old PC program 33 Poe visitor 34 Miss, to Mauresmo 35 Leafy veggie 36 Ball of film 37 Cold-cocks 38 “Art of Love” poet 39 Umlaut pair, in Rilke’s language 40 Shaft output 41 Tee shot for Rosie Jones 42 That, south of the border 43 Abel’s assassin

44 Word after bottom 45 *See 26-across 46 Raunchy British sitcom 47 Gets to second base, perhaps 50 Comic strip dog 51 Family magazine 54 *Pete, who sang “Rough Boys” 56 Full of the latest 58 The African Queen author 59 Early Ron Howard role 60 More cunning 61 First of the Democratic ass drawers 62 Fairy godmother’s stick 63 Former NFL player Tuaolo DOWN 1 Edifice complex 2 Novelist Wiesel 3 *”Cool For The Summer” singer 4 Greeting to Maria 5 L of GLAAD 6 Vehicles for some dykes 7 Flair 8 Literary rep.

9 Erections with ribbons wrapped around them 10 *”Coming Clean” singers ___ Day 11 “Terrif!”

12 “To be” to Henri

13 “Over my dead body!” and more 19 Small shooters shoot them off 22 Tennessee Williams twosome 25 Black pussy cats, e.g.

26 Leaves at the altar 27 It may be rough 28 Circles overhead 29 *”Bicoastal” singer Peter 30 *”John, I’m Only Dancing” singer 31 Kind of drab 32 Passover dinner 34 Richly deserve 35 Land of Margaret Cho’s ancestors 37 Place to exam someone’s dinghy 41 Man-to-man, to Sue Wicks 43 Disney frames 44 Crime-fighting org.

45 *”Tonight’s The Night (Gonna Be Alright)” singer Jackson 46 Changed from a pair to a threesome 47 Owner of a gay dog on South Park 48 Cicero’s garment 49 Some of Mary’s lambs 50 Way to come 52 Web surfer 53 Supermodel Banks 55 MPG monitor 57 Dottermans of Antonia’s Line ANSWERS ON PAGE 54

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

delivered at work, leading to a fruitful period. Enjoy the acquisitions but don’t go overboard. Save.

ARIES March 20–April 19 Despite what others might say, good things are coming your way! An amazing career move will lead to exploration and much needed relief.

How you proceed with a loved one relies greatly on an ability to remain calm. That may be difficult, but possible. Avoiding confrontations, and lay low when things heat up

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 No one has a clue of what is really going on with you. It would be wise to provide a close associate, lover, or family member a glimpse into what matters. People are a conduit for desire, and giving a little can bring a huge return.

It’s time to face a nagging feeling which resulted from a feud. It’s not too late to fix mistakes.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Dismiss bad ideas and trust your instincts. Pressure builds as the weather gets cool and activities heat up. Plan for mild celebrations and more fun will come as a result. Though family is important, don’t let drama become a setback. Many people in your life have entitlement issues. Now is the time to set the record straight

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

Delicious things are coming this month, and not in the form of food.

Get ready for a happy time and enjoy emotional satisfaction. Financial matters will not be bothersome, but keep an eye on your accounts. Dire things tend to happen when least expected. A child or pet is in need of attention, so please provide it.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 An odd problem requires a creative solution, and results could be unpredictable. It doesn’t hurt to hold off when dealing with unreasonable people. A breaking point could lead to erratic behavior, but this is the key to obtaining a long desired goal. Apologizing won’t be necessary. Get mad, if you must, but use tact.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 Help is on the way, not a moment too soon. There is confusion during this time, and questions that need answers. A fountain of knowledge will present itself in the form of romance or sexy friendship. While the world currently seems to be squeezing tight, it’s an illusion. Trust in those who really care and have fun

CANCER June 21–July 22 Drowning in a sea of tears will do no good, so learn to swim by gaining perspective. Now is the time to get away from work. Put aside unnecessary obligations. Emotionally detaching is difficult, but could be necessary. It’s a matter of survival, especially in regards to a partner. Care less, do less, and feel more.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 The desire for a good time will consume you. It’s a great period for cutting out trouble makers, but you must identify them first. Test the sincerity of friends who don’t know you well.

An elderly family member provides great insight, but don’t accept it casually. Give real thought into the implications here.

LEO July 23–August 22 How a bad influence is handled could have a great impact on goals this month. Don’t be lured into a trap and stay grounded by spending time alone. A social or family gathering could be intensely rewarding, but the potential for outbursts exist. Sometimes it pays to submit to the will of others and enjoy the ride for a while.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 A parental figure will materialize from out of nowhere. A kind heart is needed right now, but a tough love comes with the territory.

Make intentions known, and don’t fear asking for favors. The spirits will be moving, and the heart takes the lead. Don’t fear finding confidence to simply feel good. This is your time. Q

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 The weather is cool and dry, but things are warm and cozy inside.

Create a nook of happiness in your home and invite friends looking for the same. Approach a good job offer with skepticism. While the best things tend to seem the most obtainable, nothing comes without cost. Weigh all the options and take few risks.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Don’t depend heavily other people. They aren’t as strong as you think. A threshold of frustration that is about to be breached, so avoid frustrations by eliminating obligations.

An abundance of good news will be

吀䄀刀伀吀 䘀漀爀攀挀愀猀琀椀渀最Ⰰ 愀渀猀眀攀爀猀 愀渀搀 猀漀氀甀琀椀漀渀猀 琀漀 礀漀甀爀 氀椀昀攀ᤠ猀 焀甀攀猀琀椀漀渀猀

䜀䄀䔀䄀 唀一䤀嘀䔀刀匀 吀䄀刀伀吀 ␀㈀ ⼀㘀 䴀䤀一匀 簀 ␀㄀ ⼀㌀ 䴀䤀一匀⸀

㌀㠀㔀ⴀ㐀㐀㔀ⴀ 㜀㘀㔀

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SERVICE GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

november 2015 | issue 249

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

positive thoughts

Viral fatigue

BY JEFF BERRY

I recently

attended the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association’s 25th National Convention in San Francisco.

NLGJA’s first convention took place in the city by the bay in 1990, so this year’s conference was aptly called Coming Home. The four-day meeting was filled with workshops, plenaries and programs for LGBT journalists looking to sharpen their skills, network and meet up with old friends.

I’ve worked in the HIV field for over 23 years, and participate in dozens of meetings, conferences and activities throughout the year and around the country, but all of them are related to HIV. This conference is refreshing for me because it’s not HIV-specific, and it allows me to break out

of my “HIV bubble” and gain a renewed perspective. When you’ve worked in the same field and organization for 23 years like I have, you can easily become siloed in your work and vision myopic. Everything is seen through the lens of HIV, and you stand in danger of suffering from what I call “viral fatigue.”

Those of us in the broader LGBT community can undergo viral fatigue as well.

If you’ve made it this far in reading this column, whether you’re HIV-negative or not, congratulations. People often get tired of hearing or talking about HIV – I know I do! “Isn’t that manageable now?”

I often hear. Or, “Is that really a big deal anymore?” In this age of successful treatment of HIV to an undetectable viral load (which nearly eliminates the chance

of transmitting the virus to others), and now PrEP, a one-pill-a-day medication that prevents those who are negative from acquiring the virus, maybe it’s time for us to just move on?

It would be nice to think so, but sadly, no. New HIV infections are increasing at alarming rates in certain subgroups, including young, gay black men and trans women. And it’s not necessarily because they are taking more risks – a recent study showed that young, gay, black men actually took fewer risks than their white counterparts, but saw more infections, because the sexual networks they interacted with had more people who were HIV-positive, and they therefore had more exposure to the virus.

We have a unique opportunity in our community to change the narrative, and steer the conversation in a new direction. It’s no longer enough to say “use a condom every time.” By having candid, open and honest conversations with our partners, our healthcare providers, and most of all with others in our community, we can gain a fresh perspective and a new outlook. If we take the time to learn about new prevention modalities, and understand that there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to preventing HIV, then maybe we’ll be a little less “judgy” about the choices of others.

I admit I get a little viral fatigue now and then. But I never get tired of learning new things, gaining insight or a new perspective, and helping someone to look at something in a new and different way. Q

Rudy Florez / Hive Pass Rider since 2014

Jeff Berry is the editor in chief of Positively Aware magazine and Director of Publications at Test Positive Aware Network. Find him on Twitter @PAEditor. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody.com, QSaltlake and Q Syndicate.

DIE(t)

BY TYSON DALEY

Does your

diet have “DIE” in all capitol letters?

Well, it doesn’t need to be that way. The food you eat has the greatest impact on how you look, function and your overall health. It’s understandable that most people aren’t looking to dramatically change the way they eat merely out of comfort and convenience.

So common questions revolve around getting the most bang for your buck.

One of the first tweaks I would recommend is making sure that there’s a quality protein source in each of your main meals. This protein source can be lean meats like chicken, turkey or lean ground beef, fish or even a protein powder for some meals. Even if you’re not a bodybuilder it’s still ideal to eat like this because it will fuel your body and muscles with quality nutrition rather than just a ton of carbohydrates and fats.

The next tip is to reduce high sugar and/or excessively calorie-dense foods as much as possible. Some of the foods this would have you reduce are obvious, like candy, but others may surprise you. It’s common

to see people struggling to lose weight but don’t realize that things like juice are very calorie dense. In moderation it’s fine and there’s nutrients to gain from them, but in excess that’s just loads of extra sugar (and calories) you’re funneling into your body. Reducing fast food, sodas and excessive booze will also help quite a bit without being an especially difficult change to keep up.

The last tip is to add more vegetables to every meal. This not only will add valuable nutrition to your diet, but will also pad the meals to make you feel fuller while not eating as many calories. This tweak alone will generally make people see a change in how they look if they’re consistent with it over time. I recommend mainly green veggies like broccoli, lettuce or spinach but any will do.

Between getting more protein and vegetables and reducing the amount of foods that blow up your daily calorie count you can notice a great change with minimal work … which is what everyone’s after, right? Your “diet” shouldn’t make you want to die! Q

Reclaim your faith!

Chu rch

fitness

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

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november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

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50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY WRITES

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

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Hidden Benefits

BY KELLY ALBRECHT

Recently,

after a day of shopping I returned home with two big bags of new clothes. But just as exciting as the new outfits was that I spent the same amount for two bags of clothes that normally cost the same as a single pair of pants. That is because, even though they were new to me, they weren’t exactly new.

I bought them from a thrift store. I have never been one for always wearing the latest fashions, I never cared if my belt matched the color of my shoes, and I dislike wearing company logos printed across my chest.

A few days later, after putting the clothes through the wash, I prepared to go out for the evening, wearing a pair of the jeans I had purchased. I had to admit, they looked good on me, but better yet, they looked practically brand new and I wondered why someone had gotten rid of them.

Just before heading out the door, I slid my phone in one front pocket and my keys in the other, and I felt them land at my feet at the same time. That is when I shoved both hands deep in my pockets and discovered what I had expected. Both sides had been perfectly cut open. At that moment, I knew the exact reason why the previous owner had to depart with them. He was in clear violation of steps one and seven.

The only reason I knew this is because I had the same pamphlet, which clearly states step by step on how to overcome the self-abuse of your temple. Step one said to never touch the intimate parts of your body, and though step seven is more about pornographic material, it does say to get rid of all temptations that could lead you down a shameful path of sin and eternal darkness. Obviously, the damaged pants with no front pockets made it all too easy to explore forbidden territories.

When I first began the program in my teens to stop pounding the veal, the hardest step was number 19. That’s the one where you tie your hand to the bedpost in case the urge strikes in semi-sleep and you don’t realize you are doing it. First off, I had to convince my parents I needed bedposts. How many teenage boys have bedposts anyway?

Most of us were lucky to get a headboard.

But when I told them the salvation of my soul depended on it, they went to RC Willey that very night. Personally, I found it amusing that they went to Willey’s to prevent me from touching my Willey.

The other hard part about step 19 was

learning to tie a knot with one hand. As soon as I figured it out though, it became the most beneficial of all the steps, even better than imagining myself in a tub of worms every time I wanted a plump and juicy. I felt for sure that my little factory was about to release the valve all on its own. But then my father decided to have an unexpected fire drill.

When the alarm sounded, I panicked, and in my hurry to get undone, I only made it tighter. When I did not show up at the designated tree in a timely manner, my dad came looking for me. Can you imagine the look on his face when the light flicked on in my room? I played it cool though, and my fast thinking got me out of another tricky situation, “Well how did that get there?” I said, “I swear it wasn’t there when I went to bed.”

The next morning, despite yet another traumatic experience of my youth, I had to color in another black day on my calendar of shame. Step nine, color in the days you have weakness in order to track your progress; or in my case, the lack thereof.

This truly inspired leaflet has no doubt rescued many a young man from his habits of tenderizing the meat. If you find that you are struggling, you can find a complete list by doing a search for steps to overcome a Vaseline slip-slide ride.

The pants were a great buy, and they did look good on me. But even though I have accepted the fate that awaits me at my judgement, I eventually donated them to another store. Every time I wore them I caught myself checking local movie times or sitting at the back of the bus.

The benefits of shopping at a thrift store, it turns out, are far better than just a good value. So for those of you who have given up on a life of purity and clean socks, go now, before someone else snatches up this small window of opportunity. But I must tell you, unfortunately, if you like to participate in the five-finger knuckle shuffle, you and I can never be friends, because step three says we can’t. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center that meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Connectedness

BY CHORD MARTET

Let’s

Discuss Tell me if this scenario seems familiar at all.

It’s a Friday night after a long week at work and you decide to hit happy hour at your favorite watering hole. You call a couple of friends and they agree to meet you. You arrive at the bar, purchase your drink of choice, chat with your favorite bartender and wait for your friends to arrive. While you’re waiting you can’t help but notice a guy in the bar sitting by himself, staring intently at his mobile phone and not talking to anyone. Yup, he’s on Grindr!

I’ve run into this scenario on more than one occasion and it really, really bothers me. Bars and clubs are a common means by which people connect with one other. If you’re in a bar but not present, what’s the point?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Internet and think it’s changed our world for the better. But, I think it’s come with a price. Is it just me or are people losing the ability to really connect with one another?

In addition, the compulsive use of mobile devices can be a detriment to one’s health and wellness. Have you heard about “text neck?” It’s a real medical condition whereby continued use of mobile devices, which cause you to tilt your head, results in spinal degeneration.

The larger the tilt, the more pressure is put on your spine.

The human spine wasn’t meant handle that kind of pressure.

Of course, physical health isn’t the only issue.

A recent study found that the more a person uses social media the more their feelings of well-being decrease and their feelings of depression increase. Reading status updates and seeing photos of other people can cause feelings of inadequacy, feelings of jealousy

and resentment. Yet another study correlated increased usage of social media with lower self-esteem. Oh, and let’s not forget another study that suggests that there’s a relationship between social media and narcissism—where people post with the intent to “curate their own image” or to “gain approval of their peers.”

If potential physical and mental conditions weren’t enough, there’s an even larger problem people should be aware of. Social media engagement is causing our attention spans to decrease. For children it’s even worse. The book “Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence” drives this point home: “Today’s children are growing up in a new reality, one where they are attuning more to machines and less to people than has ever been true in human history. That’s troubling for several reasons. For one the social and emotional circuitry of a child’s brain learns from contact and conversation with everyone it encounters over the course of a day. These interactions mold brain circuitry; the fewer hours spent with people – and the more staring at a digitized screen -portends deficits.”

The solution to all these problems is very simple. Put down your mobile device, be present and connect with other people. The next time you run into someone in public who’s consumed by their mobile device consider going over and making a real connection.

Technology should enable us to live better, healthier lives, not be a detriment to them! If you have an opinion and would like to participate in a healthy, facilitated discussion about connectedness, please consider attending the next Men Who Move Let’s Discuss event. Q Chord Martet is a recent transplant to Salt Lake City and organizer of Men Who Move, menwhomove.org, a social group for 18+ year old gay, bisexual and transgender men.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

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52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NIGHTLIFE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

princess kennedy

New Salt City

BY PRINCESS KENNEDY

My, my

Salt Lake City, what is happening as of late? All this talk of politics and restaurants is making me notice a much bigger picture. Have you noticed the, not couple, nay even few, but many, and by that I mean many, many apartments being built in the downtown area? One look at the multiple cranes that are quickly adding to our new city skyline will bring a new title, New Salt City.

Let me fill you in on my meanings and observations.

In the past month alone I have had an insanely large amount of friends move here. A majority of them moved here because they had heard that Salt Lake City is the new cool place. Who knew? (I did, eight years ago.) A queen

who is a heavy hitter from the Portland club scene, an expert chocolatier and nightlife fixture from San Francisco, two urban planners — one from Berkeley and one from Laguna Beach — and two accomplished artists hailing from Minnesota and New York City. Seriously, all in one month!

I would get into names but I’ll save that for columns to come.

Extending my further observations, I work at a cosmopolitan salon in the Broadway district, and in the past couple weeks I’ve encountered at least a dozen people ages 20 to 30 who have just moved here for work, and the common factor among them all is how cool and surprising they find our fair city with the bad rep.

This is such exciting news — our hopes and dreams of Salt Lake City becoming an honest-to-goodness metropolitan city is right around the corner, dare I say?

These are some of the things (in the) happening I’ve heard thru the proverbial grapevine: There is a giant Vegas-style nightclub in the planing for downtown, a new theater district being built, and the prison move from the point of the mountain is being billed as Silicon Hills, with rumors of Google and Yahoo coming in and buying up space and the projected growth of Salt Lake is to triple our population within 10 years. Mind blowing!

All of these things not only give me butterflies of excitement in my tum-tum but tightens my sphincter with anxiety because it reminds me of a city I loved over a decade ago that came in strong with growth and ended up ruining itself.

Of course I’m talking about our beloved San Francisco — a city that was once the destination of the young and artsy seeking the Bohemian dream. This dream, I’m afraid, has come and gone. I have been traveling every six to eight weeks for work in SF over the last eight years and that chapter of my life has closed because it’s actually costing me money. An income I once relied on has become not only a setback but I’ve actually found the strife and conversation of the people in this loved city to be sad and depressing.

Plus, they just closed the last lesbian bar, and you can count the gay bars left in the Castro on one hand.

All-to-familiar is this story of growth in our western half. Portland and Seattle have found themselves feeling the pangs of too-fast-too-soon and these jewels of the Northwest are living the nightmare of cities too expensive to live in. I don’t want to get into the griping of the hipsters and the IT kids. Fashion fads are a part of history and, as for Internet techies, it’s just the modern times we live in and so goes the rest of the world.

Here are my predictions for Salt Lake: In the next five years we are going to become a force to be reckoned with. We will have a hopping nightlife

and become the leading city in music, art and fashion. We will have a culinary scene on the cutting edge of the country. As we grow, the economy is going to retain its blossoming status and, dare I say, our religious influence will become more of a novelty rather than a presence.

Here is what I sadly predict for our 10year timeline: All of us who live here will be forced to move to Tooele and Logan because we won’t be able to afford to live in the city, or maybe we will have to move to Boise because it’s the new cool mecca.

Let’s hope not.

As we move forward in this exciting time, let’s make sure we keep an eye open and ear to the ground and learn from the mistakes that are making these cities we love a source of fresh new blood to run away from. I feel the community of SLC is strong enough to keep our mountain retreat legit and retain that small town feel in a big city.

Here are the big issues you will see Princess Kennedy shouting from those mountaintops.

1) I am so sick and tired of hearing

people bitch about the new bike lanes; get the fuck over it. For those of us who don’t own cars, they are a godsend and, unfortunately for you, not going anywhere. If you were a badass

as opposed to a whiny baby, you would go for the bigger evil and that’s what I do everyday — save the air. In 10 years with our projected growth, we’re gonna need gas masks to breath. New bike lanes are the least if your worries.

2) Our homeless population is already out of control. A trip past the shelter on a Friday or Saturday night mimics the hottest nightclub in town. However will we help the masses in 10 years time? My biggest concern is the homeless youth.

Let’s get that shelter built and concentrate on their well being, and punishing parents that, as is all too common in this state, throw away a child they feel to be broken.

3) Finally and foremost in my mind (and I need my political friends and counterparts to help me figure out how to go about this), let’s get rent control instated here. The simple reason: a two-bedroom apartment in the new buildings of downtown SLC is going for $1,500 — that is the same as in SF 15 years ago. My apartment I had there at that time now rents for $7,500.

Let’s not let that happen here.

I honestly look to the future with and eager heart and open mind, but you can damn well bet I’ll be there to monitor and retain our past. Q

NIGHTLIFE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

november 2015 | issue 249 | gaysaltlake.com

Qmmunity Calendar Weekly Events:

Special Events

SUNDAYS

NOV. 1

 Beer Church at Club Try-Angles @ 3pm | 251 W 900 S, clubtry-angles. com  Karaoke Church at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

MONDAYS

 Pride Yoga at Utah Pride Center @ 6:30 | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

WEDNESDAYS

 Karaoke at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W  Utah Bears Dinner, meeting first at Raw Bean @ 6pm | 611 West Temple, utahbears.com  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center @ 5-7pm | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

THURSDAYS

 Karaoke at Club Try-Angles | 251 W 900 S, clubtryangles.com

FRIDAYS

 Gossip! at Club Sound @9:30pm | 579 W 200 S, gossipslc.com  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

SATURDAYS

 Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com  Club X with DJ Robbie Rob | 445 400 W

 First Sunday Bingo with Matrons of Mayhem @ OffTrax

NOV. 6

 HRC Social at Club Jam starting at 7pm  Utah Bears Inc. Night at Club TryAngles  DJ Rancho at Club Jam

NOV. 7

 007 Bond Night at Club Jam  Zion Curtain Sisters’ Masquerade Ball at the Murray Fraternal Order of Eagles @ 7pm | 10 W 4th Ave, Murray, $5 at the door to benefit VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center  RCGSE Giving Thanks event at the Sun Trapp @8:30pm | 106 S 600 W, $10 at the door to benefit VOA HYRC and the Feeding Homeless Youth Winter Project

NOV. 20

 Third Friday Bingo with Matrons of Mayhem at First Baptist Church @7pm

B

NOV. 21

 Underwear Night with Carnal Desires at Try-Angles  Trixie Matell at Club X with Robbie Rob Presents:  Lumbersexual Party at Club Jam

NOV. 26

 Free Thanksgiving Try-Angles @4-8pm

NOV. 27

 Code at Try-Angles  Robbie Rob Dance Party at Club Jam

NOV. 28

 Indi Sky White Party with Justin Hollister at Club Jam  BAR EVENT : 21+ (GOSSIP! 18+)  COMMUNITY EVENT: ALL AGES  KARAOKE: 21+

QMMUNITY IS A COLLABORATION WITH QSALTLAKE AND

TheHive.pdf 1 10/19/2015 12:41:03 PM

NOV. 12

 Paint Night at Club Jam

GIFTS FOR THE LUSH IN YOUR LIFE

NOV. 13

 80’s Night with Justin Hollister at Club Jam  Gear and Leather Night at TryAngles

NOV. 14

 Genderevolution at Rowland Hall starting @ 8:30am  Uniform Night at Club Jam

A WEEKLY FORECAST AND BREAKDOWN OF LGBTQIA EVENTS HAPPENING IN SALT LAKE PODCAST AT FACEBOOK.COM/ THEHIVESLC EMAIL YOUR EVENT DETAILS TO THEHIVESLC@GMAIL. COM

54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 249 | november 2015

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of a spinal tap

going through. Of course, all I could think about was gasping for air, I couldn’t possibly hold my breath long enough. Then I got the urge to swallow. Oh for God’s sake no, he’ll pierce my Adam’s Apple for sure. Then, as God is my witness, I felt the need to cough. Surely I was going to die. The doc said, this might burn a bit. Suddenly, it was as if the gates of hell itself were opened and hell fire and brimstone were pouring down my spine. I was surely gonna die. Ten seconds later it was all over, and they were helping me down off the table. I quickly changed clothes and I couldn’t wobble to my car fast enough.

As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions.

1. Am I just lucky or are all healthcare professionals drop dead gorgeous?

2. Or are the healthcare professionals really not that good looking, and the painkillers are skewing my vision?

3. Is Doctor Proctor secretly channeling Doctor Frankenstein?

4. Will my beehive hair now be black with a silver streak in it, ala Bride of Frankenstein?

5. Should they schedule these injections only at Halloween time?

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

I approached, I noticed a tray holding a syringe with a teninch needle. Oh! My! God! The nearest tech took my arm and helped me get up on the table.

I was so freaked out I couldn’t even tell if any of them were cute or not. He laid me out on the table and then began to strap me down. When he was sure I couldn’t flee, Dr. Proctor moved my head so that I was looking up and to the left. I said, in my best Norma Desmond voice, “I’m ready for my close-up Mr. Demille,” to which no one in the entire room responded. Oh please, am I really that old?

The tech then said he was going to sterilize the area to prevent infection. Instead of cleaning the back of my neck as I expected, he began to swab the front of my neck, you know, the area where vampires commonly bite. Then Dr. Proctor explained that the ten-inch needle has to go all the way through my neck guided by the X-ray machine so as not to “spring a leak” as it was told.

Holy shit!

He instructed to hold still and not breathe. I felt the pressure of the needle on my neck. I could actually feel it

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

Cryptogram: THIS AGING THING IS QUITE STRANGE. I DON’T WANT TO Anagram: SELENA GOMEZ GENERALIZE TOO MUCH, BUT GAY MEN WORRY ABOUT AGING A LOT MORE THAN OTHER MEN, FROM WHAT I CAN TELL. 5 8 6 2 3 1 7 9 4 1 9 4 2 5 8 6 7 3

2 3 6 1 9 7 5 4 8

5 7 8 4 3 6 1 9 2

6 2 4 3 1 8 5 7 9 8 4 2 9 1 3 7 6 5

9 7 3 6 5 2 1 4 8 3 5 7 8 6 4 2 1 9

8 1 5 9 4 7 6 3 2 9 6 1 5 7 2 3 8 4

6 2 9 3 4 1 8 5 7 1 4 3 2 6 9 1 7 3 4 8 5

7 8 5 6 2 9 4 3 1 9 2 6 7 5 8 4 6 9 2 1 3

4 1 3 7 8 5 9 2 6 7 5 8 3 4 1 8 2 5 9 6 7

3 8 2 5 1 4 6 9 7

5 6 9 3 8 7 1 2 4

7 1 4 6 9 2 8 3 5

4 2 1 8 5 7 6 9 3 8 7 5 4 1 2 9 8 3 5 7 6

8 9 6 4 3 1 2 7 5 4 6 1 9 8 3 6 7 5 2 1 4

7 5 3 6 2 9 1 4 8 2 3 9 5 7 6 1 4 2 8 3 9

2 6 9 4 5 7 1 8 3 2 6 7 9 4 3 5 8 1

8 4 7 3 1 9 6 5 2 9 4 5 2 1 8 7 3 6

3 5 1 2 6 8 4 9 7 1 3 8 7 6 5 4 2 9

1 3 4 5 9 6 7 2 8 3 8 4 1 7 6 9 5 2

7 9 5 8 2 4 3 6 1 6 7 9 5 8 2 3 1 4

6 2 8 7 3 1 9 4 5 5 1 2 3 9 4 8 6 7

to come and give me something like a tetanus shot in the back of my neck. I wasn’t really looking forward to it, because I’ve always hated shots, but it should be no biggie. In and out in five minutes. I could tolerate that. Oh, how wrong I was!

The first sign that things were going to be more serious than I had thought was when the nurse came out to get me, wearing what looked like a bullet-proof suit of lead.

She inquired if I had someone to drive me home? I lied by saying that Mr. Pap Smear was in the coffee shop waiting.

“Holy crap, how am I gonna get home,” I asked myself; all the while my blood pressure was rising. She took me back and had me dress in one of those fashion-affronting openback hospital gowns. At least she let me retain my leopardprint panties. Thank goodness I learned in princess finishing school to always wear clean underwear because you never know when you might be on parade. Then, to my shock and horror, she started an IV in my arm. All this, just to get poked in the neck?

Next, she escorted my leopard-print ass unceremoniously down a long and breezy hallway to an operating room.

Waiting in the room were Dr. Proctor and six — count them — six other technicians, all wearing lead bullet-proof suits.

Holy shit, I’m not in Kansas anymore, Toto!

They directed me to an operating table in the middle of the room, over which a giant X-ray machine was suspended — very sci-fi, very creepy, very Frankenstein! As

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to spinal health and strength is fraught with danger and excitement.

This is the continuing saga of my ever-so-slow recovery from the auto accident. Of course you all remember that I am being treated by a drop-deadgorgeous stud muffin with the dreamy eyes and muscles bulging through his hospital scrubs whom, for privacy sake, I shall call Doctor Proctor. It’s so sad that he is an orthopedic specialist and would have no occasion to give me a proctology exam.

Just sayin’.

Of course, like any worthwhile queen out of makeup and not wearing a tiara, I’m bitching up a storm in the doctor’s office, complaining of this pain and that. Well, after a little poking and prodding, and hitting my elbow with a little rubber hammer, the Good Doctor prescribed an injection into my spine, to see if it might instigate some relief.

It’s a very good thing that Mr. Pap Smear accompanied me to listen to instructions because when the doctor is speaking to me, I cannot actually hear the words coming out of his mouth because I am mesmerized by the sensual movement of his lips, and how they curve up slightly at the edges to form a most captivating smile with gleaming teeth that actually sparkle in the light. The always unflappable Mr. Pap Smear scheduled the injection for two weeks later.

So, it was injection day and I drove myself to the hospital. I checked in with the receptionist and waited in the waiting room. I was expecting a nurse

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