QSaltLake Magazine - December 2015 issue

salt lake magazine

UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

December 2015 Issue 250 GaySaltLake.com FREE

HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • ELECTION WRAP-UP • JUDGE WITH JUDGMENT PROBLEMS • KYLIE MINOGUE

2 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

It’s amazing what a little LOVE can do…

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

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december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

| QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 5

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“The best thing about the holidays is getting together.”

We look forward to the holidays all year because we love sharing good times with the people we care about most. We hope your holidays are the best ever.

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST PERSON

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

from the publisher

staffbox publisher/editor Michael Aaron

Did you ever think...

There’s

copy editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan, Steven Simmons

BY MICHAEL AARON

been a lot of “I never though in my lifetime I’d see...” talk going around the past year. With Jackie Biskupski’s election as mayor of Salt Lake City it comes to mind again. Me? I actually did think a gay mayor was possible. When DeeDee Corradini became the first woman to be mayor of Salt Lake, I figured someone else with a strong personality and a butch haircut could do it as well. I didn’t, however, know it would be Jackie with her long, golden locks.

Yes, we have come a long way in a short amount of time and a hearty congratulations is due to Jackie for a well-played campaign. She has so many of

different persuasions behind her in this win.

More didja-ever-thinks are now flowing through my mind: Did I ever think a major league football player would come out as gay? Yes. But not until after the entire Women’s National Basketball Association came out first.

Did I ever think dozens of major actors would come out during their career? Yes, but a lot more than have.

Did I ever think a gay Captain Sulu would capture the hearts of hundreds of thousands? Oh, my, no.

Did I ever think that Bruce Jenner (or any other major athlete) would come out as

trans* on national television and win an award for bravery? No, and no.

Did I think that, if a major athlete were to come out as trans* on national television and win an award for bravery, that the trans* community would trash them as egomaniacal and in it only for themself? Yes. Unfortunately it is what this community does. Do I think that will ever change? I can only hope.

Did I think that a “fierce” little boy would be in a Barbie commercial? Oh, snap! Hell to the no, and I’m gleeful he is.

So what is next on the didjaever-think list? I can’t wait to find out. Q

Find LGBT-friendly businesses in the

QPages

Available at over 300 locations across the Wasatch Front and qpages.com

contributors Diane AndersonMinshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Tyson Daley, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Princess Kennedy, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Peter Stoker, Marcy Taylor-Rizzi, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Jason Van Campen,

Bradley Jay Crookston, Tad Wada publisher

Salt Lick Publishing LLC. 222 S Main St, Ste 500 Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-649-6663 Contact emails: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

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QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2015, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 10,000 copies of QSaltLake Magazine are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the Wasatch Front. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine.

Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake Magazine is not to be construed as any indication of the person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when you are through with it.

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

STAFF | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

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december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

New policies for LGBT students ignored by most Idaho schools The majority of public schools in Idaho have not adopted new policies on gender identity and gender expression protections for LGBT students.

Only a handful of public school boards have rejected the proposed guidelines — submitted for the first time this year by the Idaho School Board Association — but many more have not even considered them.

The association submits policy suggestions to school districts four times a year.

In July, schools received proposals for the first time on specific gender identity and sexual orientation situations.

Out of 115 public school districts, only the Teton School District in eastern Idaho has included the new sweeping sexual orientation and gender identity protections against discrimination that apply to education opportunities, school sponsored activities and specific situations involving bathrooms and overnight trips.

Sen. Ted Cruz says he can reverse marriage equality Hoping to drum up support in the early primary state of South Carolina, Ted Cruz told evangelicals there on Saturday he would continue to “fight” same-sex marriage.

The Texas senator spoke at a “rally for religious freedom” at Bob Jones University, a fundamentalist Christian college in Greenville. “[Marriage equality] is not settled,” an impassioned Cruz said of the Supreme Court’s decision this year to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide. “It’s not the law of the land. It’s not the Constitution.

It’s not legitimate, and we will stand and fight.”

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)

Ireland celebrates first gay marriages Ireland celebrated its first gay marriages on Tuesday, six months after voters overwhelmingly chose to legalize the practice in the traditionally conservative Catholic nation.

Dozens of couples nationwide converted their existing civil partnerships into full marriages in brief ceremonies in often lessthan-romantic settings, such as antiseptic hospital offices where births and deaths also are recorded.

Gay marriage became officially legal Monday but the legislation required a minimum 24-hour notice to upgrade civil partnerships, while those seeking a legal union for the first time must wait a further three months to schedule their services.

Charlie Sheen says he is HIV positive Charlie Sheen revealed he is HIV positive in an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show.

“It’s a hard three letters to absorb. It’s a turning point in one’s life,” the 50-year-old

actor said.

Sheen said he made the announcement to end a smear campaign and extortion efforts, saying he has paid out upwards of $10 million to keep the diagnosis a secret.

“I have to put a stop to this onslaught, this barrage of attacks and of sub-truths and very harmful and mercurial stories that are about me, threatening the health of so many others that couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said. “I think I release myself from this prison today.”

Obama talks about the first influential gay person in his life “I’m not sure who the first openly gay person I met was, but Dr. Lawrence Goldyn, one of my college professors, is a man who stands out to me. I took his class freshman year at Occidental. I was probably 18 years old — Lawrence was one of the younger professors — and we became good friends.

He went out of his way to advise lesbian, gay, and transgender students at Occidental, and keep in mind, this was 1978. That took a lot of courage, a lot of confidence in who you are and what you stand for.

I got to recognize Lawrence last year at our Pride Month reception at the White House, and thank him for influencing the way I think about so many of these issues.”

Sparks, Nv. will cover gender reassignment surgery for city workers Transgender city employees in Sparks will now be able to undergo gender reassignment surgery under the city’s insurance plan. Sparks City Council voted Monday to approve insurance coverage for the surgery for city employees. The issue was combined with an agenda item that detailed changes and savings under the city’s new insurance plan, which goes into effect Jan. 1.

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

Mayor Biskupski

BY MICHAEL AARON

Jackie Biskupski, who served in the Utah House of Representatives for over 12 years as the first openly gay legislator in the state, won election as Salt Lake City Mayor by a three percent margin against incumbent Ralph Becker. Biskupski garnered 19,896 votes to Becker’s 18,702 — a 1,194 vote difference. With this election she becomes Salt Lake’s second female and first lesbian mayor.

She will take the oath of office on January 4, 2016. In the meantime, Becker has promised his full support for a smooth transition.

We were able to get her thoughts the morning of the official canvass, which validated the vote.

When did you see a turning point in the election where you first pulled ahead? And what do you attribute that to? I always expected it to be a tough campaign; running against a popular incumbent with a large war chest is a significant challenge, but I wouldn’t say there was a defining turning point. From the very beginning of our campaign until the very end we were hearing the same thing from residents, that they were eager for a more inclusive, responsive and transparent city government. In fact, it’s what I was hearing from residents even before the campaign began and it’s one of the reasons I decided to run this year.

Once you take the oath of office, what will Salt Lakers see in the first 100 days? Residents of Salt Lake City will definitely see a new tone and style from City Hall in my first 100 days. My goal is to build a city government that is easy to work with — whether you run a small business, live in Salt Lake City or commute here for work or fun — City Hall, beginning with the Mayor, needs to be responsive to the needs of the people and reflective of the people who live in the city. Throughout the campaign I have been keeping a list of concerns that I have heard from city residents and businesses. I have sent staff out to investigate issues and throughout my transition I will be soliciting more resident feedback so that when I take office my team can hit the ground running

to solve some of the problems that are affecting residents on a daily basis.

From a larger policy standpoint, I have repeatedly stated that addressing our city’s homeless crisis will be on the top of my list. Anyone who has been down to the shelters in the Rio Grande area and seen children living in these circumstances as I have will understand that we have a moral obligation to quickly and effectively address this problem. We are some of the most generous people in the country and I know that with the right leadership and plan, our city will rise to implement a coordinated plan that addresses this issue.

What can LGBT Salt Lakers expect from you; and what can the general community expect from you as mayor? The LGBT community in Salt Lake City can expect the same thing from me as the general community: honesty, transparency, accountability and a commitment to equality. We have come a long way in our city and state to address the social issues that divide us — largely led by the values and voices of the capital city — but we have a long way to go to achieve true equality for all people. I will be a strong advocate for a cultural shift toward respect for all as individuals — a value that Salt Lake City residents hold dear.

In a city as diverse as Salt Lake City — a place where over a hundred languages are spoken — we must ensure our city and its local government embraces everyone. Many of my supporters backed me because of my commitment to create opportunity for all people. Throughout my career, giving people a voice and lifting up marginalized communities has always been at the forefront of my public service, and it should be equally as important to the LGBTQ people. As we continue to advance in our movement for full equality, we must realize, true equality for us will only exist if everyone in our community is moving forward with us.

Personally, what does this mean to you and your family? Was this a long-term hope of yours? We are all very excited about my opportunity to lead and affect change.

Archie is probably most excited because

he is happy the race is over, that I won, and he gets to go anywhere he wants, and he wants to see his grandpa, which we will be doing very soon!

As for me, the first time I ran for the state legislature I endured the vilest attacks on my character and person by the Eagle Forum and a group that was created just to do the battle against me, The Citizens for Strong Families PAC. While this race certainly got heated at times, nothing reached the level of vitriol of that race, and I think that says a lot about how far we have come as a city and state — that means a lot to me. I fell in love with this city more than 25 years ago when I came here on a ski trip. It has been an honor to serve the people of this city for a large portion of that time and I am grateful the residents of Salt Lake City have placed their trust in me to be their next mayor.

Anything else you want to say to QSaltLake readers? Please stay involved if you already are and get active in your community if your are not. We will only solve the issues that face us if we are all engaged.

We will only move forward if we stand together. We are the capital city — we bring a unique energy and perspective to this state — and our voice must be heard to get the job done. Q

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

夀漀甀 渀攀攀搀 愀 氀愀眀礀攀爀⸀ 圀栀攀爀攀 搀漀 礀漀甀 猀琀愀爀琀㼀 䈀礀 挀愀氀氀椀渀最 䌀栀爀椀猀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀 䰀愀眀 Derek Kitchen (left) with Zach Albrecht as Jackie Biskupski at a Halloween party

Kitchen wins Council seat Derek Kitchen, the named plaintiff in the case that brought same-sex marriage to Utah (and some argue to the country), has won election to the Salt Lake City Council.

He joins Stan Penfold on the Council and newly elected Mayor Jackie Biskupski as three openly gay officials at the top of the city leadership Did the election go as you anticipated? It was a close race and many gave Nate the edge in the last days, but it appears you pulled it through. What do you attribute that to? The election went as I anticipated, which is to say that I knew it would be hard fought. I did pull through in the end, and I attribute that to hard work. There were many volunteers that donated their valuable time and resources to help me win. I knocked on doors all summer long, covering the district about 4 times.

The success of my campaign is because I got to know so many of the voters in District 4.

Once you take the oath of office, what will Salt Lakers first see from you? The first order of business is going to be learning the lay of the land, and then working on passing a budget for the City. Salt Lake is growing fast. I want to us to take

ownership over our growth and build a city that we are proud of.

What can LGBT Salt Lakers expect from you; and what can the general community expect from you as councilperson? I will be a collaborative and energetic voice on Salt Lake City Council. I want to continue to push Salt Lake City forward on matters of equality and social justice, but I also want to work toward a more efficient and responsive government.

Personally, what does this mean to you and your family? Was this a long-term hope of yours?

I’m thrilled to represent downtown Salt Lake on the Council.

I love our community and I always knew that I wanted to serve in one form or another.

City Council is the perfect place to affect real change that affects the lives of myself, my family, & my neighborhood.

Anything else you want to say to QSaltLake readers? Thanks to the voters who cast their ballot for me, and thanks for the moral support from the LGBT community. We are a powerful community when we put our heads together, and I’m proud to call myself an LGBT Utahn. Q

∠ 䘀愀洀椀氀礀 䰀愀眀 ∠ 䌀爀椀洀椀渀愀氀 䰀愀眀 ∠ 䰀䜀䈀吀 䄀搀瘀漀挀愀挀礀 䌀栀爀椀猀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀 椀猀 愀 琀爀甀猀琀攀搀 渀攀最漀琀椀愀琀漀爀 愀渀搀 琀爀椀愀氀 愀琀琀漀爀渀攀礀 眀椀琀栀 攀砀瀀攀爀椀攀渀挀攀 愀挀爀漀猀猀 琀栀攀 猀琀愀琀攀 漀昀 唀琀愀栀⸀ 䔀瘀攀爀礀 渀攀眀 挀氀椀攀渀琀 爀攀挀攀椀瘀攀猀 愀 昀爀攀攀 椀渀椀琀椀愀氀 挀漀渀猀甀氀琀愀琀椀漀渀 眀椀琀栀漀甀琀 愀渀礀 漀戀氀椀最愀琀椀漀渀⸀

䌀栀爀椀猀琀漀瀀栀攀爀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀

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昀漀爀 愀 昀爀攀攀 挀漀渀猀甀氀琀愀琀椀漀渀

䌀栀爀椀猀 圀栀愀爀琀漀渀 䰀愀眀Ⰰ 䰀䰀䌀 ㄀ 圀 䈀爀漀愀搀眀愀礀Ⰰ 匀琀攀 㔀 匀愀氀琀 䰀愀欀攀 䌀椀琀礀Ⰰ 唀琀愀栀 㠀㐀㄀ ㄀ 挀栀爀椀猀眀栀愀爀琀漀渀氀愀眀⸀挀漀洀

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

Utah judge orders foster child removed from same-sex couple, reverses, then recuses himself A Utah judge who had ordered a baby girl taken away from her lesbian foster mothers and placed in a heterosexual home removed himself from the case as criticism turned into calls for his impeachment.

Though Judge Scott Johansen had reversed his decision and allowed the 9-month-old baby to stay with the married women recommended by state welfare authorities, there were concerns he could still have the baby removed from their home in Price later on.

April Hoagland and Beckie Peirce asked for the judge to be disqualified, saying that the decision revealed a potential bias that broke the rules of judicial conduct, their lawyer Jim Hunnicutt said.

While Johansen disputed their legal standing to call for his removal, he nevertheless stepped aside nearly a week after the Nov. 10 order criticized by national gay rights groups, Gov. Gary Herbert and others.

The couple applauded Johansen’s decision and said they’re happy the family is being treated equally.

“Our greatest concern now is taking care of our beautiful baby foster daughter,” Hoagland and Peirce said in a statement.

Utah officials are pleased the child will stay in a nurturing home with the “very capable” parents, said Ashley Sumner, a spokeswoman for the Utah Division of Child and Family Services.

At press time, the case was referred to presiding juvenile Judge Mary Manley.

The couple feels like the change will make them much more likely to get a fair shot at adopting the baby girl they’ve been fostering for three months, Hunnicutt said.

“They are just two wonderful, normal parents with a happy baby to take care of,” he said.

In his initial decision handed down during a routine hearing, Johansen noted research showing children do better when raised by heterosexual families. Asked at the hearing to reveal his sources for his beliefs, Johansen declined to say. The American Psychological Association, however, has said there’s no scientific basis for

believing that gays and lesbians are unfit parents based on sexual orientation.

Attorneys for DCFS said the department was backing the couple in the case. “If we feel like [Johansen’s] decision is not best for the child, and we have a recourse to appeal or change it, we’re going to do that,” DCFS director Brent Platt said. “For us, it’s what’s best for the child.”

“Any loving couple if they are legally married, and meet the requirements, we want them to be involved,” he added.

The Human Rights Campaign filed a complaint with state judicial officials, and the watchdog group Alliance for a Better Utah called for state lawmakers to impeach the judge.

Johansen is barred from speaking about pending cases and has refused all media requests for comment.

Josh Kantor, the founder of the progressive-leaning Alliance for a Better Utah,

said the judge’s move would not change the group’s push to get state lawmakers to remove him from the bench.

“This guy now has a pattern of doing these kinds of outrageous things,” Kanter said.

Johansen, who has been a state judge since 1992, has had previous questions about his conduct. He was given a reprimand from the Utah Judicial Conduct Commission after he slapped a 16-year-old boy who allegedly became belligerent and insulting in his chambers in 1995.

Three years ago, a woman filed a complaint against the judge after he told her to cut off her 13-year-old daughter’s ponytail in court in order to reduce the girl’s sentence for cutting off a 3-year-old girl’s hair.

HRC is also pressing their complaint with the Judicial Conduct Commission, which can recommend a judge’s removal.

That group alleged Johansen discriminated against the couple based on sexual orientation and called for a quick decision ahead of the custody hearing next month. Q

Thousands resign LDS Church membership in protest of policy for children of same-sex couples Over a thousand members of the LDS Church, many of them LGBT, converged on City Creek Park in Salt Lake City, where they officially — and very publicly — tendered their resignations from the religious organization. The move comes in the wake of a new church policy which declares cohabitating same-sex couples “apostates” and forbids children living with them from being baptized. The resignation letters, reportedly 1,500 in all, each stamped with a lawyer’s letterhead to hasten the bureaucratic process of leaving the Mormon church, join a batch of 1,000 similar requests submitted online earlier in the weekend.

At issue is the Church Handbook of Instructions, an LDS policy guide for lay leaders, a recent draft of which was leaked online. In it, same-sex couples are referred

to as “apostates,” and children of same-sex couples are barred from Mormon baptism until they are 18 years old and have officially renounced their gay or lesbian parents.

Church spokesman Eric Hawkins pleaded with members not to resign.

“We don’t want to see anyone leave the Church, especially people who have been struggling with any aspect of their life. The Church exists to build people and help them heal, and there isn’t one of us who doesn’t need help at some point in our lives.”

Timmy Chou, a representative of PostMos — a group that works with former members of the Mormon church — who helped organize the rally said, “Those who have come here today may be feeling anxiety—but they are happy to do this. This is a well-thought-out decision.” Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

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Artist Trevor Southey dies at 75 Utah artist Trevor Southey, who celebrated the human form and inspired a generation of students, artists and gay Mormons, died Oct. 21 at 75.

Self Portrait by Trevor Southey

“He had a real love of the figure, of the body,” said Gretchen Dietrich, executive director of the Utah Museum of Fine Arts. “He loved people, and he loved painting and

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drawing and sculpting people.”

Utah Sen. Jim Dabakis, a longtime friend of the artist, said Southey was perhaps the first major Utah Mormon figure to come out as gay. The matter-of-fact way he did it, Dabakis said, made him an icon for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in predominantly LDS Utah.

“When he came out, because of the supreme honesty, I think it threw off a lot of people,” Dabakis said. “He gave people the courage to say, ‘If he can tell the truth, why can’t we?’”

Southey moved back to Provo in 2013 because of his health — he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer a decade earlier, and Parkinson’s disease around 2010.

“I like to say I’ve lived five lives in one body,” Southey said in 2010, “and the artist’s life is just one of those.”

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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Edmonds-Allen resigns as Utah Pride executive director When Marian Edmonds-Allen was chosen to be the executive director of the Utah Pride Center, which has been struggling with personnel, financial and public perception issues, a squeal and a collective sigh of relief could be heard from Utah’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans* and ally community.

Community leaders expressed hope that she could bring the Center to new heights, as she did with the Ogden OUTreach Resources Center a few years ago. In the past three months since her selection, her calendar has been full of meetings with community stakeholders, members of the community, press and anyone who had an idea to share.

On Oct. 26, she gave notice of her resignation, effective immediately.

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

“After an 11-week assessment of the Utah Pride Center, it is my recommendation that it be predominantly communityled and operated,” Edmonds-Allen said. “To prolong existing resources for the benefit of the community, I have recommended that the executive director position be eliminated.”

The board of the Center is is still determining what are their next steps.

“When Marian accepted the position, the board was very clear about the status of the Pride Center in terms of tasks at-hand around programming, financial status, fundraising, the Pride Festival, capital campaign, board development ... all of those things,” said board chair Kent Frogley. “We had communicated those things at a 30,000-foot level. Marian came in, dug deeper into those, and assessed and evaluated what needed to be done and presented us with a fairly comprehensive statement on where she thought greater focus and greater resources needed to be brought to bear. At the same time she indicated that she made the decision that she didn’t want to take that task on.”

“We are disappointed,” Frogley continued. “She had made a lot of progress with a lot of the stakeholders of the community

who partnered with the Pride Center.

People responded to her very positively, as the board did. We are disappointed that she ultimately decided it was something that she wasn’t willing to do.”

At a rebranding ceremony at the Pride Center on National Coming Out Day Oct. 11, Edmonds-Allen was given a long standing ovation. She didn’t, however, give her talk on the future of the Center, as promotional material had indicated. That might have been, however, because the event went an hour longer than anticipated.

In an August interview with QSaltLake, Edmonds-Allen’s stated her vision for the Center that could be summed up with one word: Extension. She wanted to extend people’s knowledge about the Center; to extend the hand of cooperation and collaboration to other LGBT-centered partners and others in the broader community; and to extend the Center’s role both in effectiveness and geographic reach.

Community Liaison & Volunteer Manager Jimmy Lee also left last month, after being with the Center since 2012.

“It’s been a great process of learning and unlearning as I’ve engaged in this work,” Lee said. Q

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

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In 1985 the Utah Department of Health reported 17 persons living with AIDS in Utah. The need for public information and for assistance for persons living with HIV/AIDS called for a community­-based response, which became the Utah AIDS Foundation.

For the next 30 years the Utah AIDS Foundation filled a vital role of education, assistance, testing, advocacy and prevention.

The UAF will celebrate in memory of those who have served and “those who have helped us serve” on November 30, 2015. Long time community activist, Babs De Lay, will be honored by the Utah AIDS Foundation as their 2015 Hero of HIV. Babs is being recognized for her commitment and service to those living with HIV/AIDS De Lay been at the center of Salt Lake’s civic and business life, founding business enterprises and organizing and supporting many non-profits throughout the years. She is currently the owner and broker at Urban Utah homes and Real Estate.

Starting in the 1980s De

Lay spent the holiday season collecting and delivering donations for individuals and families affected by HIV/AIDS. Babs provided Christmas for hundreds individuals and families at a time when those living with HIV/AIDS didn’t have medical options and lacked family support.

“One of my first experiences as a staff member at UAF was helping Babs unload a truck of Christmas gifts. I am thrilled we are recognizing her work” said Stan Penfold, executive director of the Utah AIDS Foundation. De Lay has been a long time community partner supporting UAF’s Salt Lake AIDS Walk, including providing food to participants during the event’s formative years. “Please join the Utah AIDS Foundation in thanking Babs De Lay for her service to those living with HIV/AIDS in Utah”, Penfold says.

The reception will be Monday, November 30, 2015 at Publik. Coffee Roasters located at 975 S. West Temple in Salt Lake City. The reception goes from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. Tickets are available at utahaids.org or by calling 801-487-2323. Q

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

“

I want to apologize for all of the hurtful and painful things that have been said about people in the church that have been talented and gifted and musical, that we’ve used and we’ve embarrassed… and all this other horrible crap that we’ve done. We have not treated them like people. We’re talking about human beings, men and women that God has created. The Bible is not a book that’s an attack on gay people.

It’s not a book written to attack gay people.

It is horrible that we have made it where The Bible is a homophobic manual. That’s not what The Bible is. I mean you want to talk about things that God gets at… pride and jealousy and envy and arrogance.

But what we also see is God sending his son to save us all, because we were all… straight, gay or whatever, lost and in need of a savior, and there’s room at the cross for all of us.”

—— Grammy-winning gospel artist Kirk Franklin in an interview with The Grio

“

Kim Davis is the lady who makes me embarrassed to be from Kentucky.

— Actress Jennifer Lawrence

views

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

rizzi

I see you Recent

BY MARCY TAYLOR-RIZZI

surveys, by the Pew Research Center, indicates that people 30 and under who doubt the existence of God are on the rise and millennials are less likely to attend church. It won’t be long when churches and religions lose the stronghold they currently have on our political system and social landscape.

With this in mind, wouldn’t it behoove our LGBTQI organizations to offer support to our community without the religious rhetoric?

Recently the LDS added a new policy that states, “A natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing.” The policy reaches even further by stating that children of same sex couples may be baptized once they reach “legal age” and no longer live with “a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage.”

The language used in this policy change is strong and to the point; the church is not concerned with sparing the feelings of those who will be affected.

Yet Equality Utah, in their official response to the LDS policy change, invokes the very religious language used to dismiss same-sex couples. They state, in part, “In America all churches have the religious liberty to welcome or exclude whomever they desire. But we know that children of same-sex parents are treasures of infinite worth. In our universe, all God’s children have a place in the choir.”

What purpose does it serve to continually placate the dominate religion? How has it been helpful and what benefits have same-sex couples in Utah gained by being buddies with the LDS church? How can we, as a community, continually allow these assaults by the LDS church and not be outraged enough to make a stronger statement?

In an interview with QSaltLake in 2012, Troy Williams, the executive director of Equality Utah, stated: “… I had this really awesome experience in 2012 when I started working with Mormons Building Bridges and we had that great Pride Parade. I recog-

nized what I wanted to believe — that there were many active Latter-day Saints who wanted to love and care for their gay and transgender family and friends. And that really melted my heart in a big way. I recognized that not only can we work together, we have to work together in order to shift the state. So, I’m really excited for that. It’s part of my own personal evolution. I love my faith community again, and I thought that was something I would never again experience. That gave me a lot of hope for the future.”

For Troy Williams, this cowtowing to the LDS church is a personal battle between his past religious ideology and his queerness. But what about those LGBTQI folks who were never a part of “the faith” or have no religion whatsoever? The

nonreligious, agnostic and atheist are absolutely dismissed and not recognized.

But I see you.

I see you as you try to understand how people can be attached to an ideology that is trying to pull apart families. I see you reaching out to your faithful friends and trying to mend wounds you did not create.

I see you being supportive to family and friends who have often dismissed you because of your lack of faith. I see you as you try to stand in solidarity with your religious friends, to be an ally to many who have made it impossible for you to live authentically. I see you trying to explain how church doctrine/policy has a direct impact on your life … our legislatures are heavily LDS and you know this will sway their thinking.

I see you, dear atheist, not praying for change but actually taking up picket signs to draw attention to the mean-spirited policies of churches you’ve been battling for decades. I also see you when you decide to stay home because you are so exhausted by the language used to create exclusion. I see you reconsidering your charitable contributions to LGBT organizations because you have been erased from the narrative; you’re not even worth a few words.

I see you and I appreciate you! Q

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

who’s your daddy?

A truly heroic gift

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

This issue

of QSaltLake is full of great holiday gift ideas. But Kelly has already given me a gift to last a lifetime. In fact he’s given it to my entire family. Kelly donated a kidney to my big brother, John.

Like most siblings growing up, John and I had a love/ hate relationship. Being five years older than I, he tortured me pretty regularly. But he was also a constant source of knowledge for me.

It was John, after all, who taught me to sneak out our bedroom window when I was banished there for misbehaving. I tried it exactly once. As

I was dangling half way out the window, our dad’s hand planted on my butt and shoved me back in. (John was busted as the obvious mastermind behind my escape plan, by the way.) He also taught me how to dance — or to shift my weight from one foot to the other doing the straight boy shuffle.

And he taught me to drive a stick, throwing me out of his car after I popped the clutch for the third time on a slight hill on 9600 South.

Just over 20 years ago, John was diagnosed with diabetes. It runs in our family. In spite of all the medical advancements and the happy commercials heralding medications to eas-

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ily manage it, diabetes kicks the crap out of your body. A couple of years ago, John’s kidneys started shutting down, and this past January he began dialysis. Our entire family was overjoyed when we learned he was placed on the kidney transplant list earlier this summer.

Forgetting it would take me a good 10 years to relearn how to dance with rhythm, I immediately volunteered one of my kidneys. I mean, it’s just a kidney; it’s not like my liver, which I’m still pickling! But my propensity for developing diabetes down the road was too great, and I was eliminated.

With no other family members eligible or able, Kelly stepped up. He did it for John, and he did it out of love for me. Honesty, I don’t think anyone thought he’d be a match.

But he was. He was a really good match.

On November 3, they had the surgery. It was a tremendous success. They’re now referring to one another as “Kidney Brothers.” The difference for John has been night and day. There’s still a long road of healing ahead — for both of them — but the doc-

tors are amazed at just how well the kidney is working.

The number of people, who have mentioned what a tremendously generous act Kelly has committed, is endless.

But it didn’t surprise me in the least. He’s probably the most compassionate, loving and generous person I’ve ever known.

I’ve seen it in the way he treats me, and I’ve seen it in the way he treats our sons.

The boys don’t quite realize it, but Kelly is a hero. He saved my brother’s life. Every single member of my family will be forever grateful for his altruistic act. I will forever marvel at his love for me that sparked his decision. Of course, for the rest of my life, I’m also going to hear how he can’t fold laundry, eat at my favorite restaurant, or let me have the TV remote because he only has one kidney, after all.

This holiday season, be a hero like Kelly. Give the gift of life by becoming an organ donor. Believe me, it’s the best gift you will ever give.

You can find more information and sign up to be a donor at organdonor.gov. Q

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december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

creep of the month

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

HELPFUL SIDE-BAR FOR STORIES

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE

Ben Carson

AVOID MISINFORMATION AND OFFER HOPE

• Talking about wanting to die

•

Suicide is complex. There are almost always multiple causes,

• Looking for a way to kill oneself

including psychiatric illnesses, that may not have been

• Talking about feeling hopeless or

recognized or treated. However, these illnesses are treatable.

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

•

Refer to research findings that mental disorders and/or this PC bullshit. Windows is the worst.

Commusubstance abuse have been found in 90% of people who Remember Clippy from Microsoft nity, died letter by suicide.

Office? Yeah, well, so does Ben Carson.

This is a cease have and desist reNever forget. was preceded by a garding the accusation Ben Carson • Avoid that reporting that death by suicide In order to clear Carson’s name we is a homophobe. Stop such hurtful single event, such as a recent job loss, divorce or bad grades. need to ask ourselves just what is a name calling at once. Carson himself likeHomothis leaveshomophobe the public with an overly anyway?

So let’ssimplistic look at declared himself Reporting Officially Not and misleading understanding of suicide. things a homophobe some hypothetical phobic during the Oct. 28 Republican would do: Bitch Fest Debate.

• Consider quoting a suicide prevention expert on causes A homophobe would claim that being When asked about his views about treatments. a at that. gay is aexpert choice,opinions and a bad in one LGBT people he and declared, “I believeAvoid putting sensationalistic context.

A homophobe would claim that our Constitution protects everybody people become gay after being in prison regardless of their sexual orientation or • Use your story to inform readers about the causes of because of rape and stuff. any other aspect. I also believe marriage suicide, its warning in rates would and recent A homophobe compare lesbiis between one man and one woman. signs, trends treatment ans and gays to pedophiles and people There is no reason you can’t advances. be perwho are into bestiality. fectly fair to the gay community.”

• Add statement(s) about the many treatment options A homophobe would happily align See? His views are “perfectly fair”! available, stories of thosehimself who overcame a suicidal with the desperately-clingingHe said so himself. crisis and resources for help. to-hate group National Organization Now, you might point out that denyfor Marriage. A homophobe would even ing lesbians and gays the right to marry • Include up-to-date local/national resources where sign their pledge “to take several specific isn’t exactly “fair” and has been declared can find actions treatment, information andmarriage as president to restore unconstitutionalreaders/viewers by the United States advice promotes help-seeking. to the law and protect people of faith Supreme Court. You alsothat might ask from discrimination because of their why, if the Constitution supposedly support for traditional marriage.” In “protects everybody,” are there so many other words, to support a federal amendstates where you can be fired for being ment to the Constitution stripping gays LGBT or even if you are just perceived SUGGESTIONS FOR ONLINE MEDIA, MESSAGE and lesbians of their right to marry. to be LGBT? BOARDS, BLOGGERS & CITIZEN JOURNALISTS A homophobe would look at KenTo that I say: He was a neurosurgeon, tucky clerk Kim Davis and be all, “You you guys. Have you ever successfully • Bloggers, citizen journalists and public commentators can go, girl. Rock on with your Judeoseparated conjoined twins? I didn’t reduce risk of contagion with self.” posts or links to treatment Christian think so. So stophelp it with your judging. services, signs andAsuicide hotlines. homophobe would say that any Carson continued, “Theywarning shouldn’t federal judge who rules in favor of automatically assume that because you • Include stories of hope and recovery, information on how marriage equality should be forcibly believe that marriage is between one to overcome suicidal thinking andbyincrease coping skills. removed Congress. man and one woman that you are a A homophobe would declare that homophobe.”

• The potential for online reports, photos/videos and stories Congress should try to find some workYeah. “They” (a.k.a. “you”) shouldn’t be to go viral makes it vital that online coverage of suicide around to get out of having to follow calling names and making assumptions. sitethat or industry safety recommendations. the Supreme Court’s decision that anti“This is one offollow the myths the gay marriage are unconstitutional. left perpetrates on our society and this • Social networking sites often becomelaws memorials to the See? These are totally homophobe is how they frighten people and get deceased and should be monitored for hurtful comments moves and if we look at Carson’s record people to shut up,” Carson continued. for statements that others considering we see…are Wait a minute… suicide.

“That’s what the and PC culture is all about Message board guidelines, Well, policies procedures could I’ll and be. Those supposed hyand it’s destroying this nation.” potheticalsand/or are all insensitive things that Carson OMG! Quit destroying the nation, support removal of inappropriate posts. himself has said and done. you guys! And stop being so scary with Conclusion: Carson is a homophobe your demand for equality. And stop after all. Feel free to continue calling telling people to shut up, because that’s him one loudly and often. Q not nice. And get a Mac. Enough with MORE INFORMATION AND RESOURCES AT:

Dear LGBT

www.ReportingOnSuicide.org

having no purpose • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs • Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly • Sleeping too little or too much • Withdrawing or feeling isolated • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Displaying extreme mood swings The more of these signs a person shows, the greater the risk. Warning signs are associated with suicide but may not be what causes a suicide.

WHAT TO DO If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide: • Do not leave the person alone • Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt • Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) • Take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional

THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE 800-273-TALK (8255) A free, 24/7 service that can provide suicidal persons or those around them with support, information and local resources.

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

lambda lore

Homophobia Part 1

BY BEN WILLIAMS

Homophobia

is a word that is consistently misused by people to mean hatred of gay people. This was not the original intent of the word, as it was created as a clinical diagnosis for someone who has an irrational fear of homosexuals often acting out in aggression toward gay people.

If you simply hate gay people you are not homophobic you are a bigot. The General Authorities of the Mormon Church, I do not believe are, on the most part, bigots or haters, but they suffer from a mental illness called homophobia. This irrational fear is akin to the old Gay Panic defense that some straight men used to justify violence against homosexuals, both male and female.

For over seven decades the LDS Church has been at war with homosexuals stemming from fear of gay people, not hatred. They couch this epic

battle in terms of good versus evil, fearing that homosexuality will destroy the cornerstones of Mormonism: priesthood authority and the heterosexual family unit.

Many of the oldest leaders of the LDS Church grew up in the anticommunist and homosexual era of the 1950s and 60s and still have many of those prejudices that were enshrined in public discourse. An example of the hysteria of the era is a comment by the national chairman of the Republican party that the New York Times reported in 1950. He warned that the “sexual perverts who have infiltrated our government in recent years” were “perhaps as dangerous as the actual Communists.” From attitudes like this one, the association of homosexuals with subversion, became linked in the public mind.

Until the 1950s homosexuality among Mormons was treated benignly and was not considered the heinous sin it is made out to be today. In the 1940s then Church President George Albert Smith even counseled two gay men to “live their lives as decent and best” they could. When his cousin Joseph Fielding Smith, the church’s patriarch, was found to be involved in a homosexual liaison with a young Mormon sailor, the patriarch was simply released from his posi-

tion and quietly exiled to Hawaii.

Toward the end of President Smith’s life, in 1950, a music teacher at Ricks College, in Rexburg, Idaho was fired for having sexual relations with several male students.

J. Ruben Clark, counselor to George Albert Smith, simply advised local church leaders not to hold a Church court for the music teacher because “thus far we had done no more than drop them [homosexuals] from positions they held.”

After the death of George Albert Smith in 1951, the new church president David O. McKay set a decidedly different course on what he considered sexual immorality. At the April Conference 1951, the headlines of the Deseret News proclaimed McKay “Sounds Battle Cry Against Vice.”

McKay warned at general conference of “the corruption of cities as growing from the actions of a handful of individuals.”

Still, within the church membership, those found to have participated in homosexual activity were mainly counseled and not punished. About this same time, the editor of the Brigham Young University’s student newspaper, the president of the LDS married branch, and a star basketball player were outed as members of “a small group of homosexuals.” Rather than being expelled, Dr. Ray R. Canning of the Sociology department, the counseling center, and the Dean of Women Students was asked to work with these students.

Even Stephen L Richards, counselor to McKay instructed a mission president in October 1951 not to excommunicate a missionary elder for the “superficial charge” of fondling the genitals of three young men, ages 12 to 13. Richards said the missionary was only “guilty of a great indiscretion.”

The church’s position on homosexuality radically changed by the 1952 October General Conference the following year, J. Reuben Clark, counselor to McKay publicly warned of the “ great influence” nationally of gay men and was the first General Authority to publicly discuss the subject of homosexuality since 1897. Clark was the first General Authority to publicly acknowledge the existence of Lesbianism. In an address

entitled “Home and Building Home Life”, Clark stated “the person who teaches or condones the crimes for which Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed- we have coined a softer name for them than came from old; we now speak of homosexuality, which is tragic to say, is found among both sexes…

Not without foundation is the contention of some that the homosexuals are today exercising great influence in shaping our art, literature, music, and drama”.

The Mormon Church was no doubt reflecting the public’s general fear of the spread of Communism. One of the greatest segment of the population to act as scapegoats for this mass hysteria were homosexuals. In 1953 The Deseret

News headlined “107 Fired in State Department” a story regarding the U.S. State department initial firing of homosexuals as security risks.

Eventually President Eisenhower signed an executive order banning all homosexuals from government employment. Homosexuals were by then demonized as subversive perverts and a danger to National Security and the American way of life. This shift in perception of homosexuals as being harmless unfortunates, to be pitied not loathed, was a product of Senator Joe McCarthy, Roy Cohen, and J. Edgar Hoover’s machinations, all of whom were closeted homosexuals.

The year 1953 also saw Utah reduce consensual sodomy from a felony to a Class B Misdemeanor. Sodomy or the “crime against nature,” defined as heterosexual and homosexual anal intercourse, became a felony in Utah Territory in 1876. As a felony it was punishable by imprisonment for not more than five years. Later, in 1907 the punishment was changed to three to 20 years imprisonment. In 1923 heterosexual and homosexual oral sex were added to the sodomy statute, thus criminalizing most sex acts outside of penis and vaginal sex regardless of sexual orientation or gender of the persons involved. The Utah State Legislature, rather than being enlightened regarding human sexuality, changed sodomy from a felony to a misdemeanor only to increase convictions of homosexuals. Utah judges were unwilling to sentence people to prison for up to 20 years for consensual sex, therefore the punishment for sodomy was changed to allow for more incarcerations in jail. Q

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorials

The irony of Missouri football’s bold actions were quietly on display against anti-gay BYU

BY CYD ZEIGLER

The irony

of the University of Missouri football team’s game against BYU was lost on most.

While the focus on racial issues in Columbia has taken center stage in the sports world over the last few days, the decades-long antigay policies in Provo continue to be ignored on a daily basis by the NCAA and every one of its members.

On Nov. 14, when the two schools’ football teams clashed, that dichotomy was on display ... and ignored.

It’s understandable at some level. The men of the Tigers football team, who boldly went on “strike” until university president Tim Wolfe was removed from his position, demonstrated something incredibly rare in sports: Athletes making social justice more important than their own participation in sport.

The move harkened back to the raised fists of Tommie Smith and John Carlos in Mexico City and was in stark contrast to the silence from athletes at the 2014 Winter Olympics when they avoided LGBT issues.

Sure we’ve seen recent forays by athletes into social issues, as St. Louis Rams players last year raised their arms to say “hands up, don’t shoot,” and Pittsburgh Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams was fined for raising awareness for cancer on his eye black.

The Missouri Tigers were ready to sit out games in their battle against the systematic ignoring of racial issues on campus. That was powerful. No fine hurts athletes like losing playing time; that these players were ready to make that sacrifice was a moving statement.

Now the football players cleared themselves to play in their next game. Yet when they took the field in front of a raucous crowd that Saturday, they did so against BYU. That school has not just failed to address incidents on campus, it has codified specific bans on homosexuality and actively uses the school’s code to diminish the lives of every LGBT person and their children.

The anti-LGBT policies at BYU are so strong they have prompted a change.org petition asking the NCAA to cancel BYU’s competitions against other NCAA schools over its harmful policies.

“We need someone to be there for LGBT people and families in Utah, to have a counter voice,” petition supporter Lawson Miller told me, “to let closeted Mormons know that you’ll be okay. It tears people apart inside

thinking that they can’t coexist with their faith and their sexuality.”

That’s an understatement. Gay youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide.

Not coincidentally, Utah has the fifth highest state suicide rate in the nation.

Decades ago there was a similar campaign against the very same BYU this Missouri football team played against. Back then San Jose State football players began a boycott against BYU because the Mormon Church banned black people from the priesthood. Other schools like Stanford followed suit: They simply refused to play the school because of racist Mormon Church policy. After a decade of these boycotts by some teams, and mounting pressure across the country, the Mormon Church changed its policy and allowed the ordaining of black priests.

Yet there is no “strike” by players of other schools to boycott BYU’s anti-gay policies today. No NCAA athletes are making the ultimate sacrifice to change the actions of a school whose code of conduct is stuck in 1952.

The irony of these men lifting their “strike” so they can play against BYU gives us powerful insight into the state of collegiate athletics and the minds of so many college administrators, coaches and athletes, the likes of whom these men reflect.

Despite Michael Sam playing for that very Tigers team just two seasons ago, I doubt there’s been any thought given to what taking the field against the Cougars from Mormon country means. It’s hard to place blame on these young men. We don’t teach LGBT history in high schools. The NCAA allows members to ban homosexuality and marginalize an entire class of students and athletes. The college football playoffs made the Chick-fil-A Bowl part of the national championship picture even as the company’s president fought against marriage equality for loving same-sex couples.

The NCAA has a gay problem I doubt any of the players on the Missouri football team even realize.

Consider some of the official policies of the Mormon Church, which owns and operates BYU and writes the school’s policies.

From the words of the church’s own handbook, “a natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing.” The handbook also specifically calls the cohabitation of two

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

gay people worse than “attempted murder, forcible rape, sexual abuse, spouse abuse” and other actual crimes.

My guess is there’s very little awareness among collegiate athletes in or outside of Columbia about the amount of suffering BYU and the Mormon Church inflict on students and prospective students at the school.

There was so much talk about elite athletes boycotting the Winter Olympics in Russia last year, yet BYU’s policies go unchallenged in the sports world. Russia banned what it called gay propaganda aimed at children. BYU and the Mormon Church ban homosexuality itself and banish the children, adopted or otherwise, of gay people.

Yet that Saturday the University of Missouri and its football team welcomed the school and its football team to the very stadium Sam made such a name for himself.

It underscores something I’ve been saying more and more loudly over the last year: If you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

While straight people are important components to our LGBT sports movement, they will not act boldly like the Missouri football team, because they are not LGBT. The athletes of color on the Missouri football team raised their fists this week because they were the affected class. While I’m sure there was support among some of the white players (and, of course, some did not support it), it was by all accounts the players of color who drove this. They got it in a way that many of the white players did not.

These same athletes would never consider going this far for the gay and lesbian people struggling with suicidal thoughts under the thumb of the LDS Church and BYU. No chance the Missouri football team would refuse to play Saturday against BYU: Given where we have placed equality for gay people in our culture, it probably wouldn’t even cross their minds.

Because gay men are such a minority on college football teams, it would take a special group of straight men to fight for us the way the Missouri football team fought for themselves. With the presence of Michael Sam back at Missouri and around the team, you might think the Tigers would be the perfect team to take up that fight. Yet they will, instead, share the field with a school owned and operated by a church that would ban Sam and any of his children from membership.

And virtually no one realized it. Q Cyd Zeigler is co-founder of Outsports.com and has contributed to the Huffington Post, Out magazine, Playboy and The Advocate and appeared on CNN, ESPN and in Sports Illustrated and the New York Times.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

queer shift

Losing my religion

BY CHARLES LYNN FROST

A new

report from Pew Research shows that religion is losing ground as more people drop out of organized churches. According to the report the shrinking number of Christians and their loss of market share is the most significant change since 2007 (when Pew did its first U.S. Religious Landscape survey) and the new, equally massive survey of 35,000 U.S. adults. The percentage of people who describe themselves as Christians fell about 8 points — from 78.4% to 70.6%. Armed with the latest surveys, coupled by the recent cataclysmic LGBT policies blithely handed down by LDS leadership, along with personally expressed pain from family members, relatives, friends and supporters, it is not difficult to understand why people are leaving religion.

Many in the LDS Church, and other conservative Christian churches, are perceived to be too political, too exclusive, old-fashioned, unconcerned with social justice and hostile to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, as well as women.

I am not attempting to persuade anyone to exit the LDS church, although the title might suggest so, but instead defining and owning your journey, life path, truth, and personal decisions based upon your values, your knowledge of self, and most importantly love. I have chosen to offer ideas, questions, suggestions in hopes they will be seen as helpful. It is my sincere hope that they help you wherever you are on the path of your religious or nonreligious beliefs.

Recently I’ve had my ear to the ground, really doing my utmost best to listen and learn what is being said, felt, and done about this recent LDS crisis; so as to try and coach, love, be accessible in relieving the massive amounts of pain, as well as prevent loss of life to suicide and to help prevent the tragic loss of human self worth, lack of acceptance, inequality, and letting go.

What I have been hearing at a high level and in numerous forums is as follows…

What people really want from the LDS Church is not a change in style but a change in substance, honesty, structure and integrity.

People want the LDS Church to never put children in the middle of any policy that damages the child emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually.

People want an end to the culture wars.

We want a truce between science and faith.

We want to be known for what we stand for, not what we are against. People want to search for their own truths and not be lied to.

People want to ask questions that don’t have predetermined answers, to be able to challenge without fear of reprisal, up and including excommunication.

People want the LDS Church to emphasize an allegiance to the kingdom of God over an allegiance to a single political party or a single nation, and to get completely out of political issues with their money, influence and manipulation.

People (queer and straight) want LGBT family and friends to feel truly welcome in LDS congregations.

People want to be challenged to live lives of personal happiness and spirituality, not only when it comes to sex, but also when it comes to personal and private decisions, living simply, caring for the poor and oppressed, pursuing reconciliation, engaging in creation care, becoming peacemakers, and defining happiness for themselves.

People are not leaving the LDS church because they don’t have a desire to be there; they’re leaving the church because they don’t find Jesus in the actions of the religion beyond the words of the religion.

I have also observed over many years that much of what it takes to leave a religion is filled with tremendous confusion, angst, fear, but most importantly, and in the end courage to be authentically oneself. It may be time to consider letting go, moving on, releasing. Most people, and particularly queer people, are continually making rationalizations, a series of justifications and judgments— aimed toward our own behaviors, as well as the actions of others.

Let’s face it, it is at our human core to become too attached to religions, things or people, issues and situations that we perceive have harmed us, helped us, pushed us forward or held us back. It’s challenging work to release these attachments even if we know they are not good for us. I’m a believer that addictive, immovable thinking or behavior is at the root of all our own self-suffering. A very strong statement? Yes it is.

What is releasing? It is letting go and releasing the subconscious blocks that hold you back from having, being and doing what you choose. It’s a practice for letting go that instantly puts you in touch with your natural, already present ability to succeed, so you can feel more confidence, calm and in control of any situation. That’s it. In its simplest form it comes down to three basic questions.

• Could I let go of the LDS religion?

• Would I let go of the LDS religion?

• When?

Some important questions to seriously ponder if you feel you are ready to leave the LDS religion: • Are my personal values compatible with those I have witnessed by the LDS leadership?

• Can I perceive and possibly believe that religion and spirituality are two very different things?

• Can I separate the Gospel of Jesus Christ from Mormonism?

• Am I capable of accepting the fact that there are many truths, ways and paths, in life — all worthy of respect?

• Am I capable of releasing the idea that there is only one absolute true religion?

• Can I see myself as containing my own self-power, internalized energy, that I can use for good, healing, taking care of myself and sending it to others for their well being?

• Am I ready to begin separating my heritage from my religion, as well as my beliefs, and where and when I learned them? Membership and heritage are two very different things, one can be taken away or left behind, the other is DNA deep.

• Am I willing to stop abdicating my knowledge or understanding of anything to anyone, regardless of their position, title or age?

• Do I believe that I get to choose my life path and its phases rather than having them outlined and planned for me?

• Is my belief and faith in Jesus Christ, a higher power, contingent on being a Mormon?

• Do I truly believe in unconditional love versus conditional love?

• How important is full equality, love and acceptance to my human dignity? Will I accept being an outcast, an apostate, unworthy of love, or do I denounce those who would label me as such?

• Do I wish to subject myself to dictatorial doctrine or policies instead of using my own moral compass and freedom of choice?

• Is perfectionism a possibility, and who gets to define perfect?

Steve Maraboli, in his informative book Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience, says “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

“You are not a drop in the ocean.

You are the entire ocean, in a drop.” —Rumi Choose to be that authentic drop, that is an ocean. Q

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

TRANS* AWARENESS MONTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

guest editorial

Treating our trans* children

BY RIXT LUIKENAAR

In 2007

my second child was born and until the ultrasound at 18 weeks clearly showed it was a girl, I was convinced I was having another boy.

Growing up, this child resisted wearing dresses and ponytails from the moment he could and at age 2 made it clear he was a boy. At age 5, we donated every piece of clothing with glitter and pink from the girl aisle; in second grade he went to school as a boy, with a boy name and pronoun.

Now I happen to be an obstetriciangynecologist with a specialty in transgender health care, so I let my child be who he wants to be — a boy — and we take it day by day.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “A child’s awareness of being a boy or girl begins in the first year of life.

Their gender identity is stable by age four and they know that they will always be a boy or a girl.” Gender identity is not a learned behavior; it is the sense of who we are from birth and we think that its development starts during pregnancy in the mother’s womb.

Sexual orientation is different than gender identity and does not mean that your child will grow up to identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Sexuality develops during adolescence from hormones and physical changes.

In 2012, the Human Rights Campaign did a survey of more than 10,000 LGBTidentified youth ages 13-17. Findings had shown that these kids feel much less happy and do not feel like they fit in. Less than half say they have an adult to talk to; 70 percent are not accepted by family; 40 percent are bullied in school. This confirms findings of significant mental-health issues including depression, suicide, anxiety, body image issues, substance abuse and posttraumatic stress disorder in transgender youth.

As parents we need to know that this is not our fault; we need to accept our child, get informed and be an ally. We need to

help them transition if they want to — socially or medically.

Treatment is available. Making informed decisions to medically intervene are essential to our child’s mental health and well-being.

Social transitioning (outward gender presentation, clothes, hair, name and pronoun) is reversible. Many times when a child is allowed to express perceived gender full time, issues like bad behavior, shyness, illness and discomfort improve or rather disappear.

Medicine has made it possible to delay the onset of puberty which can be devastating in transgender children. Making the decision for medical transition is highly individual and may require input from the child and parents, and medical and psychological professionals. Some emotional maturity is needed, especially when it comes to discussing cross hormones — hormones that will change a boy into a girl, or a girl into a boy.

Therapy is recommended to make sure that transgender youth have the support they need and a safe place to explore their identities and process the transitioning experience, not because they are mentally disturbed.

The first step in therapy for transgender adolescents is confirmation of the diagnosis by either a mental health therapist or doctor. The most-used guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment come from the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the Vancouver Coastal Health, Amsterdam Gender Clinic and Endocrine Society.

It can be difficult to find these services (cost, lack of insurance coverage and lack of research) but research at the Amsterdam Gender Clinic has shown that treatment is safe and, most importantly, leads to happier adolescents, and a decrease in suicide attempts.

The onset of puberty brings increased unhappiness over one’s body and development of depression, anxiety, drug use,

high-risk sexual behavior and an increase in suicide rate.

Suppression of puberty with gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) analogues blocks puberty of their birth gender. This is reversible and means that more time is “bought” — more opportunity to explore the wish for transitioning and no stress of puberty and irreversible changes that happen with that (deepening of the voice, facial hair, breast development, menses) and also helps prevent bullying.

Therapy is started between the ages of 11 and 15, depending on signs of puberty and blood tests.

Risks and benefits are discussed and a consent form is signed by both parents (if indicated). Blood tests need to confirm the patient is in puberty and liver, kidneys and other tests are normal. Height and weight are measured every three months.

GnRH analogues are given intramuscular. After three months, labs show prepubescence range of hormone levels and confirm that puberty is blocked.

We start cross hormones (testosterone, estrogen or testosterone blockers) between the ages of 14 and 16, depending on the desire of the adolescent and the parents.

We then also discuss fertility because hormones are not entirely reversible.

Overall of most importance is that we as parents affirm our child’s gender identity expression to boost their self-esteem, and show them that we accept and support them completely. The difference is not wrong — it just is. Besides that, what’s worse? Accepting your child’s gender identity, or burying them because we couldn’t?

Refuse to be your child’s first bully. Q Rixt Luikenaar, M.D. FACOG, is a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist with 15 years of experience. She has special interest in transgender hormone therapy and GLBTQ healthcare, including pregnancy and preventive care. Her clinic, Rebirth OB/GYN rebirthobgyn.com, provides all-inclusive services to transgender patients, including guided and tailored hormone therapy, preventative, and primary care.

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE Once again we bring you our Holiday Shopping Guide with our focus on locally owned companies who love our community.

We start with a PFLAG mom — but not any PFLAG mom. Allison Black is the founder and president of Ogden PFLAG — one of the most active groups in the country.

Allison is also the owner of AB Quilting Studio, and has donated quilts for the silent auctions at the annual HRC gala.

Last year, her quilt raised $1,300 for the charity.

She can do custom quilts and has a long-arm machine for quilting patterns for your own.

See her work at ­abquiltingstudio.com and call her at 801-388-9358.

TWIGS FLOWER CO

The splendid table starts with Twig’s floral design

Voted BEST IN UTAH by Salt Lake Magazine, City Weekly, QSaltLake, Pillar and Catalyst Free Local Delivery

1100 East 1616 South 801-596-2322 Salt Lake City, Utah 84105 www.twigsflowerco.com

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

Boozetique

A boutique shop for the booze buddies on your list

In the Broadway Shops — right around the corner from the 3rd and 3rd Wine Store — is the new Boozetique by Ivonna Earnest.

If you don’t have a few drinkers on your shopping list, you may be reading the wrong magazine. From bunches of bitters to copper cups for Moscow mules and gold-tone goblets for, well, those who like gold-toned things, Boozetique has a range from elegant to whimsical.

This season, they are offering fabulous wooden boxes to make your gift extra-special when you put together a gift package of booze wares.

Below left is a selection of their booze bags, again from elegant to knee-slapping.

Flasks of all sizes — from 2 ounces to oh-my-god-a-magnum-will -fit-in-there — as well as catchy phrased ones for the ladies ... or girly men.

Comic Con fans will love the assortment of bottle openers with their favorite heroes or even the U.S.S. Enterprise.

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, or so I hear they say. This beautiful glass vapor set will help set up the ritual of enjoying the French hallucinating alcohol. And yes, you can get absinthe in Utah liquor stores.

Your wine enthusiast friends will appreciate the wide variety of gadgets and gizmos of all price ranges. From a cute set of wine charms to the Corkcicle that keeps your whites cool or brings your reds to drinkable temperature. Wine bottle holders that are more form than function, as well as those that are more function than form, can also be found here.

BOOZETIQUE, 315 E Broadway, 801-363-3939.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

Gifts

Lube

Underwear

Books

Housewares

Adult Toys

OPEN DAILY 10am–9pm 878 East 900 South (801) 538-0606

UTah Artist Hands brings Utah artists into one gallery In the capable hands of Pamela O’Mara, UTah Artist Hands (get it? It spells UTAH) brings together unique art pieces to grace your home and “the” place to find a most wonderful oneof-a-kind gift for any occasion.

This year, one of her new offerings is a ton of small paintings from Evelyn Escobar, a young artist that use the colors and figures to create an imaginary and fantastic world of magic. These affordable pieces are rich in color and talent that would be a welcome adornment to any home’s wall.

A gallery regular is the wonderful iron work of Scott Mitchell — a metalsmith from outside Monticello, Utah. His Southwesterninspired pieces will fit most Utah home decor and will bring a smile to those who receive it.

Pottery by Sharon Brown ­ ikkelson of Cache Valley is M both beautiful and functional.

Stop by UTah Artist Hands at the Broadway Shops, 163 E Broadway during Gallery Stroll or just any day for that thoughtful gift that supports Utah artists. Call Pam at 801355-0206.

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

The Iron Rose Collection

Giving something a second life through curating materials and creating unique products and accessories that combine reclaimed materials into something you hadn’t thought of. Shop online and pick up locally. Of course I’m showing all the wine-related items. Hint, hint. “Sexy Susans” and serving trays made of wine barrels, a wine rack made of box springs. All available at ironrosecollection.com

HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

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One hot calendar Firefighters from four agencies came together, stripped down, and got greased up to help raise funds for the Utah chapter of the American Cancer Society. The 2016 Utah Firefighter Calendar will help the 11,000 Utahns who will be diagnosed with cancer in the next 12 months.

American Cancer Society’s Road To Recovery volunteers provide an average of 1,165 trips taking cancer patients to treatment in Utah each year. They provided 348 free wigs, scarves, turbans, prostheses and gift items to patients in need.

Firefighter-turned photographer Ben Sant was the photographer who made this happen. Calendars are $20 and all proceeds go tot he ACS. Feel good that your gift to friends will help people across the state who are struggling with cancer.

To purchase your calendar, visit ­utfirefightercalendar.org or call Nick Honsvick at 801-598 8797.

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

Salt Lake Area Firefighters heat up every month of 2016

All Proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society BUY NOW, OR ORDER ON LINE AT

WWW.UTFIREFIGHTERCALENDAR.ORG salt lake

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

the bookworm sez

Holiday book shopping You do it at least once a week, just because. It’s fun, relaxing, enlightening, and social. You love to shop… except when you have to shop for a gift for someone and you don’t know what to buy. Gah. In that case, how about a book? How about one of these books:

FICTION Who doesn’t want a thriller for mid-winter reading? For sure, your giftee will, and “The Jaguar’s Children” by John Vaillant is the one to wrap. It’s the story of Hector, who’s being smuggled into America from Mexico when the truck he’s in breaks down. He’s sealed inside and the smugglers have left but he has a cell phone and your giftee will have a page-turner.

Wrap it up with “A Free State” by Tom Piazza, a thrilling novel of a former slave who, in conjunction with the leader of a minstrel troupe, concocts a dangerous ruse so that he can make music on-stage with white performers.

Oh, did I say that a slave hunter is on his trail?

For the historian who needs a little fiction now and then, “Viet Man” by D.S. Lliteras may be the thing to wrap up. It’s the story of a warrior, after he comes home, and the memories of battle that he struggles to forget.

No doubt, there’s a tender heart on your gift list — someone who’s always sunny and smiling. “100 Days of Happiness” by Fausto Brizzi is the book you want to give her (or him?). It’s the story of a down-and-out man who learns that he’s going

to die, so he spends his last 100 days on Earth doing good for the people around him. Wrap it up with “The Best Advice in Six Words,” edited

by Larry Smith. What a really great gift idea!

(Count ‘em — there’s six!)

If your giftee would love the gift of laughter, then wrap up “Formerly Fingerman” by Joe Nelms. It’s the story of a guy who’s down-and-out and, coincidentally, at the top of a list of witnesses for a murder trial… except he didn’t really see the murder. Wrap it up with “You Could Be Home

By Now” by Tracy Manaster, the story of a young couple, an older retiree, and a viral news story that should’ve never seen the light of day.

Mystery lovers who like a touch of the frontier will thank you profusely when you’ve wrapped up “The Last Midwife” by Sandra Dallas. It’s 1880 and the midwife of a small mining town is accused of the murder of a baby — but though she’s been privy to too many things, murder isn’t one of them. Wrap it up with “Mothers, Tell Your Daughters,” a delightful book of stories

by Bonnie Jo Campbell.

How could I not include a zombie book on my gift list? Wrap up “Posi+ive” by David Wellington, a post-apocalyptic novel of zombies, insane road warriors, and a new world in the making.

If there’s a historical novel lover on your list, then “The Reluctant Midwife” by Patricia Harman is a winner. It’s the story of a midwife working in West Virginia during the Great Depression, her challenges, and the women she cares for. Pair it with another historical novel, “The

Courtesan” by Alexandra Curry, the story of a little girl who is sold to a brothel in China, 1881. She grows up to be the wife of a well-traveled man who takes her places she’s never been.

The crime buff on your list will absolutely love unwrapping “Charlie Martz and Other Stories” by Elmore Leonard. It’s a collection of previously-unpublished short stories, written in the early years of Leonard’s career. It’s a little bit of mystery, a little bit of western, and a whole lot of goodness.

Pair it with “Bull Mountain” by Brian Panowich, a story of crime, family, honor, and moonshining.

For the Western aficionado, there’s no better gift than “Buffalo Trail” by Jeff Guinn. Set in the Arizona Territory, it’s … well, I shouldn’t have to say more except “Wrap it!”

GENERAL NON-FICTION Music lovers know what they like, and I’ll bet yours will like “Playboy Swings” by Patty Farmer. It’s the story of how an iconic men’s magazine (and the empire that sprang from it) changed the way we find, enjoy, and listen to music.

Wrap it up with “The Song Machine” by John Seabrook, a book that examines why we listen to and love the music we can’t get out of our heads.

If Beatlemania has hit someone on your gift list, then the gift to give this year is “The Complete Beatles Songs” by Steve Turner. This large-sized book is full of lyrics from the Fab Four, as well as stories of how the songs came to be, and plenty of photos of John, Paul,

George, and Ringo.

It could be the Ticket to Ride this holiday. Wrap it up with “Sex, Drugs & Rock ‘n’ Roll” by Zoe Cormier. It’s a scientific book about our impulses and what makes us par-tay!

The gardener on your list will plant her fanny down and read, once you’ve given her “The Reason for Flowers” by Stephen Buchmann. It’s all about flowers, their history, the places they’re grown — even the critters that help them bloom. Wrap it up with a pair of garden gloves and a pretty trowel.

The giftee you know who loves things that go STOMP in the night will also love opening “The Bigfoot Book” by Nick Redfern. It’s a book about large, hairy creatures: Yeti, Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Little Red Men, and other critters you don’t want to meet on a dark and stormy night.

No doubt, the fashionista on your list will be overjoyed to unwrap “That’s What Fashion Is” by style-maker Joe Zee. It’s a little memoir, a little howto, and a whole lot of ideas and gossip. What’s not to love, ‘specially when you pair it with “Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic”

by Jennifer L. Scott, a genteel book on looking, dressing, and acting elegant.

I also liked “Part of Our Lives: A People’s History of the American Public Library” by Wayne A. Wiegand. It’s a great look at libraries and the people who founded and nurtured them. For deeply passionate book lovers, this is THE gift.

The pop-culture lover on your gift list will absolutely love poring over “The Must List” by the Editors of Entertainment Weekly. It’s

filled — just jam-packed — with lists that will bring back memories, remind your giftee of songs and fashions, fads, celebs, and things we used to do back in the day.

If there’s someone on your list who loves scary movies, dark corridors, and spooky stories, then “Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear” by Margee Kerr will be an excellent choice. It’s a book that explains why we love getting goosebumps (or don’t), and how — believe it or not — being scared is good for us. And if science-y books are what your giftee loves best, add “The Superhuman Mind” by Berit Brogaard, PhD, and Kristian Marlow, MA. It’s a book about how to get the most brainpower from your noggin.

Got new parents (or parents-to-be) on your gift list this year? Then wrap up “The Science of Mom” by Alice Callahan, PhD. Based on scientific research, this book will help parents to know what advice is right and what could be wrong for their baby. Wrap it up with a box of diapers for a very needed gift.

Does your giftee ❤ New York? Then “City On a Grid” by Gerard Kneppel is a must-give this year. It’s the story of how the City That Never Sleeps became what it is; specifically, how swampy fields — a farming area, basically — became the Big Apple in only a few centuries. Toss “Life in New York” by Laura Pedersen — a personal love story to the Big Apple — in the box and make it merrier.

No doubt, there’s a MAD Magazine fiend on your list, so “Spy vs. Spy: An Explosive Celebration” from

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december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

gay writes the MAD mag folks (foreword by Lewis Black) is a can’t-miss gift. It’s absolutely filled with classic cartoons, posters, and everything you loved about that gleefully revenge-filled cartoon. If you can, put “The Art of Horror,” edited by Stephen Jones in the box, too. It’s a huge coffee-table book jam-packed with posters, drawings, stories, and shivers.

No doubt, there’s someone on your list who needs something light this holiday, so wrap up “The Snoopy Treasures: A Celebration of the World Famous Beagle” by Nat Gertler. It’s a look at everybody’s favorite dancing dog, from his origins to the ways we love him today. Hint: wrap it up with tickets to the new movie.

HISTORY For the historian on your list, you can’t go wrong with “Black Earth: the Holocaust as History and Warning” by Timothy Snyder. This huge, comprehensive book takes a long, hard look at the years leading up to World War II, as well as the Holocaust itself and its aftermath, and how it still resonates today.

For the political animal on your gift list, what could be better than “War Plan Red”

by Kevin Lippert? This little volume explains that, though the border between the States and their neighbor to the north is one that’s barely noticed, the relationship that Canada has had with the U.S. (and vice versa) wasn’t always so

amicable; in fact, once upon a time, there were thoughts of invasion!

COOKING / FOOD The mixologist on your list will truly enjoy “Cocktail Noir”

by Scott M. Deitche, an all-things-gangster look at speakeasies, gin joints, hooch, authors who write about them, and recipes. Mystery fans will like it, too. Also look for “Best Food Writing 2015,” edited by Holly Hughes. Your foodie will love you for it.

Also for the mystery fan who loves to cook: “Goldy’s Kitchen Cookbook” by mystery writer Diane Mott Davidson. It’s a sort-of-semi anthology of the recipes that have been featured in Davidson’s whodunits, as well as a few other dishes you can make.

The foodie on your gift list will love this pair of memoirs about food: first, there’s “Life from Scratch” by Sasha Martin, a book about a food writer who undertook an unusual project, and how it helped her face her memories. Pair it with “Eating Viet Nam”

by Graham Holliday, foreword by Anthony Bourdain. That’s the story of a man who also undertakes an unusual (and actually quite risky) project overseas.

PETS AND ANIMALS The lover of felines doesn’t want to unwrap just any old “cat book,” which is why you’ll want to find “Wild Cats of the World” by Luke Hunter, illustrated by

Priscilla Barrett. Filled with pictures, drawings, and pages and pages of information, this gorgeous book is probably exactly purrfect.

Can your giftee teach an old dog new tricks?

Apparently so, as you’ll both see in “The Secret History of Kindness” by Melissa Holbrook Pierson. It’s a book about how dogs — and other animals — learn and how a trainer can facilitate the link between canine and human. Give. Sit. Or wrap it up with “Buster: The Military Dog Who Saved a Thousand Lives” by Will Barrow, as told to Isabel George.

The rescue worker on your gift list will love “My Old Dog” by Laura T. Coffey, photos

by Lori Fusaro. It’s a book filled with pictures of furry seniors and happy stories.

LGBT STUDIES If there is a young adult on your list who’s recently come out — or who knows someone who has — then “This Book is Gay” by James Dawson has answers to a lot of questions, including those from people who’ve come out already and who offer advice. It’s a quick-toread, easily browse-able book that treats all subjects factually. Bonus: you can borrow it back if you have questions of your own.

Here’s a different book that your giftee might like: “Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men” by Jane Ward. This book takes a look at what defines gay, for a man. Are “straight” men who flirt with men

really straight? Is there a fine line in sexuality, or none at all? This is a thought-provoker, so be prepared to discuss.

Do love and politics make strange bedfellows? Your giftee will know, once you’ve wrapped up “Don’t Tell Me to Wait” by Kerry Eleveld. This book, written by a former Advocate reporter, takes a hard look at the Obama administration and how the LGBT community helped change policy.

If there’s someone on your list who’s fascinated by (or uninformed of) LGBTQ history, then “The Gay Revolution” by Lillian Faderman could be the best gift s/he gets this holiday. This brick of a book is filled with over 700 pages of tales of the fight for basic rights and the triumphs as they happened. Wrap it up with a book that looks at another facet of LGBTQ history: “QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology,” edited by Raymond Luczak. It’s a book filled with stories — 48 of them — written by authors who explore what it’s like to be disabled and gay.

BIOGRAPHIES & MEMOIRS What do you give to your best friend? If that’s a question you’ve been asking, then “Five Years in Heaven” by John Schlimm is the perfect answer. It’s a book about the friendship between a thirty-something man and an eighty-something nun who teaches him a thing or two.

A complete list of gift books is on our web site at aysaltlake. com. Season’s Readings! Q

October

BY KED KIRKHAM

October tinges the valley.

Green ash burnished to gold, Foothills redden with maples And sumac, The bench brightens With the yellowing poplar.

Sunflowers have faded, Paled Thistle are brittle Even while Rabbit Bush finds its glory.

What of you, With this October sun?

I look back Over seasons, Over years.

October.

There, With the dry and dusty sun shorter days holding loosely their warmth.

The canal was down The water darker, languid.

That bit of sand Broad enough then to lie together, Stretching, Finally To our lengths; Comfortable Finally, In our silence; Contented, Finally. Our discovery That you were thirty But I would not be until November.

I submitted to your discipline, You delighted in my openness; Joining that October Assured That together could be here, As much as from where we’d come; And our loneliness not A closed door, But a key.

October warmth seeped in As we lingered, Sleeping, And forgetting That October meant You would go on, While I Would need to get back To where I would learn My error: That loneliness In October Is a closed door, A locked room; That together is there, Not here without you. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group that meets the 2nd and 4th Mondays, 6:30–8 p.m., 210 E. 400 S., Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

The Gay Agenda

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

BY TONY HOBDAY

CONCERTS

The holiday season is upon us and there is plenty of holiday cheer; but, starting it off is a little holiday “jeer” as X96 and Toyota (those hooligans) present The Nightmare Before Christmas featuring Bastille, a popular and adorable English indie pop group. Honestly though, I would think featuring the Salt Lake Men’s Choir would fit the bill better.

That’s just one homo’s opinion!

7

MONDAY — BASTILLE The Complex, 1249 E. 3300 South, 6:30pm. Tickets $35 Adv/$40 Day Of, smithstix.com

10

THURSDAY — KURT BESTOR Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, times vary, through Dec. 12.

Tickets $20–43, arttix.org

11

FRIDAY — SALT LAKE MEN’S CHOIR: WHAT THE SEASON MEANS TO ME First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, 7:30pm. Fri Dec 11 and Sat Dec 12, 4pm Sun Dec 13. Tickets $15, ­saltlakemenschoir.org

19

SATURDAY — HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS! Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 11am & 12:30pm. Tickets $6–21.50, arttix.org

DANCE I don’t know why Jack McFarland comes to mind every time I say nutcracker … and I say it a lot by the way. Anyhoo, Ballet West’s iconic ballet adaptation returns this season. This show always gets me in the holiday spirit, but it could be because of the codpieces.

That’s just one homo’s opinion!

10

THURSDAY — THE NUTCRACKER Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through Dec. 27. Ticket prices $19–91, arttix.org

FUNDRAISERS The Mattresses of Mayhem’s monthly event is always a big hoot-n-holler success but when it comes to the holiday season it becomes so flashy it’ll make your eyes bleed. What fun! I just hope this month’s beneficiary is Pansy Pap Smear’s wardrobe. That’s just one homo’s Christmas wish!

5

SATURDAY — BIG GAY FUN BUS Leaves Club Try-Angles, 251 W 900 South, at noon. Tickets $25 (with $7 in free play back) at biggayfunbus.com.

18

FRIDAY — THIRD FRIDAY BINGO First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, 7pm. Bingo cards $5.

MOVIES After his stellar, Academy awardwinning portrayal of Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything, Eddie Redmayne steps it up again — this time in women’s clothing. Set in the 1920s, the film is a biographical drama about one of the first sexual reassignment surgeries and its slow-burning aftermath.

25

FRIDAY — THE DANISH GIRL Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway, times vary. Tickets $6.75–9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

THEATRE The exciting world premiere of Pioneer Theatre’s Artistic Director Karen Azenberg’s and Kenneth Jones’s holiday musical revue is bound to tickle you. Rejoice in this awesome theatre’s past and it’s continuing crowd-pleasing future.

You’ll be singing “let it snow, let snow, let it snow” all the way home. SLAC’s new holiday hit (no doubt in my mind, especially because it stars the amazing Alexis Baigue) asks the nail-biting question: Will Art Dog be acquitted for stealing the Mona Woofa? Gurl, give a dog a bone!

4

FRIDAY — IT HAPPENED ONE CHRISTMAS Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU, times vary, through Dec. 19. Tickets $40–62, pioneertheatre.org — ART DOG Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North, times vary, through Dec. 23.

Tickets $15–25, saltlakeactingcompany. com

UPCOMING EVENTS Village People: Jan. 6–10, 2016, egyptiantheatrecompany.org

Salt Lake Men’s Choir Christmas concert at First Baptist Church December 11–13

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

mr. manners

Evans and Early Mortuary

‘Tis the season

BY ROCK MAGEN

It’s

beginning to look a lot like ... holiday shopping time! The holiday shopping season is upon us and with it comes people with short fuses and total disregard for common courtesy toward fellow shoppers.

The fact that most stores set out Christmas decorations the day after Halloween indicates that the holiday shopping season is kicking off earlier than normal.

With the holiday shopping we all have coming our way, undoubtedly Black Friday is on our list.

Whether you are working the retail-driven holiday or partaking in its sales-based goodness, this day is often noted for its rudeness and considered the deadliest day (due to stampeding crowds) of the entire season. So, how do you survive the holiday shopping, get the deals and keep your good manners in check?

All good things start with a plan. Make your plan and stick to it. If you prefer to shop online, then set your alarm to place your order as soon as it goes on sale.

Or if you prefer the thrill of the chase, be prepared to be there as the doors to your favorite store open so you can get what you need. Additional considerations include knowing exactly what you want to buy (avoid wandering) and have your budget set prior to making purchases.

Parking will be a nightmare.

Know it and expect it.

If you are among those who feel it necessary to parade into the Walmart, keep in mind that although tempers may rise, try to be polite. When iPads are on sale, I know that the “inner animal” comes out; however, normal manners such as “excuse me,” still apply. Keep a sense of humor throughout your trip and do not let any rudeness affect you per-

sonally. I would also arm myself with something to help give me “nerves of steel” (Xanax anyone?) because in addition to utter ruthlessness you will encounter screaming babies, children running loose, and those people who have perfected the “deer in the headlights” facial expression.

Finally, please, don’t be “that person” who adds to the horrible shopping experience. Please have your coupons and money ready when it’s your turn to checkout.

And please don’t be that person who ties up the register with 20 questions or silly requests.

I completely advocate asking if an item is returnable or refundable but the register is not the time nor the place to complain.

If you really need to tell someone something, find a manager and allow that poor person who is working (which by the way, thank you to all who work to make this shopping day possible) to get on with the next customer.

My last words of wisdom come not as a “precautionary tale,” but rather words of wisdom. People are fed up with the “it’s about me” generation, and I guarantee that what you may have gotten away with in common society many not be applicable here. Fuses run short when limited quantities of items are on sale; be the bigger person and be considerate. Also, please don’t try to shift blame on someone who is a victim in this type of situation; rather, own up to it and make necessary sincere apologies.

Well, there you have it. A holiday shopping survival guide.

I wish you all the best holiday season this year and hope that it’s one that will be remembered not because of your poor manners, but rather because you got everything you want. Q

Serving all Faiths & Communities Since 1890 with affordable dignified services

Take a tour of our beautifully renovated facility 574 East 100 South, Salt Lake City, UT

801-355-5323 / Fax 801-355-6177 www.evans-earlymortuary.com evansandearly@gmail.com

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

food & drink 6 ways to lessen the gut-busting effects of your holiday meal binge

BY MIKEY ROX

The holidays

are of gratitude and family, indulgence and indigestion. Embrace the former while ditching the latter with these actionable ways to limit your belly-bulging binge at this month’s high-calorie celebration of appreciation and appetite.

1. STOP TRAINING YOURSELF TO OVEREAT AT HOLIDAY MEALS Yes, holiday food is awesome.

Especially if you have a mom or

grandma (or whoever the cooking guru is in your family) who blows out that spread like fireworks at a Katy Perry concert.

But remember that it’s not the last meal you’ll ever have, and it shouldn’t be the first one of the day either. Start the holiday by having a sensible, healthy and filling breakfast — like an egg white-and-spinach omelette with turkey sausage and mixed berries — so you’re not apt to snack all afternoon then dive into a piled-high plate of smorgasbord staples like you just got out of prison. Little piggies belong in a pen, not face-first in the pumpkin pie.

2. DRINK WATER TO TRICK YOURSELF INTO FEELING FULL Just like you do (or at least should do) at restaurants when you’re in danger of overeating, drink water before taking your seat for the main event. Baltimore-based certified strength and conditioning specialist Roy

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

Pumphrey recommends “downing a giant glass of H2O about 30 minutes before the meal begins to help quell the hunger pangs for a fuller feeling.”

3. CHOOSE PROTEIN AND GREENS OVER HEAVY CARBS Unless you’re running a postholiday marathon, there’s no reason to stuff your face like Wilson Kipsang gunning for another medal. Fill your plate with the healthy proteins and greens available at your family’s fete and limit the space on your plate for waist-widening comfort foods like mac-and-cheese and creamy mashed potatoes.

“Many of a food binge’s adverse effects come from carbohydrate overloading and the subsequent ‘carb crash’ that occurs due to spikes in our insulin levels,” says Dr. Linda Anegawa, founder and medical director of OSR Weight Management.

“I always advise my patients on holidays to go for lean white-

meat turkey, green beans and salad, and avoid marshmallowladen sweet potatoes, simplecarb dinner rolls and sweets.”

Adds Pumphrey, “The protein will fill you more and be more satiating than stuffing or bread.

Plus you’ll feel less bloated and awful later.”

4. STAY ACTIVE (YES, EVEN ON A HOLIDAY) You exercise on ordinary days when your food intake is normal, so it only makes sense that you should fit in a workout before you settle in for this cornucopius supper.

“It is a busy time, but schedule into your calendar one hour of some type of physical activity daily,” Anegawa advises. “This won’t offset a giant food binge but it will help keep metabolism and appetite somewhat in check, and chances are you may not be as tempted to binge if you know you’ve put in the effort to exercise.”

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FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

prevent from getting sloppy and waking up with a killer hangover.

6. PLAN A POST-BINGE FAST TO BURN FAT After you’ve had your fill and finished the meal, it’s time to do damage control. As an alternative to exercise — because who wants to do that on a gluttonous gut? — prepare to fast for at least half a day.

“When you’ve just downed a big meal, making sure you fast for 16 hours right afterward is a good way to kick your body into fat-burning mode,” according to certified personal trainer Rui Li. “The simplest way is to skip breakfast so that half of your time fasting is during sleep.”

In other words, your body will start eating itself, which — let’s be honest, ye of expanding pants size — is a welcomed change of pace. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

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5. MIND YOUR ALCOHOL AND CHOOSE DRINKS WISELY For some, alcohol at holiday time is a special treat; for others, it’s a necessary coping mechanism to prevent a brutal bloodbath at the family manse. For whatever reason you partake in libations, choose your drinks smartly and set a limit on how much you’ll consume.

“If you must drink alcohol, enjoy a low-sugar, low-carb concoction,” says Anegawa. “Steer clear of cocktails with loads of simple syrup, such as premade mixes, and instead enjoy a vodka tonic made with Steviasweetened tonic or a glass of dry chardonnay.”

Red wine also is low(er) in calories compared to other types of booze, and packed with beneficial antioxidants when enjoyed in moderation.

Two glasses is the sweet spot; any more than that and you’re entering iffy territory. As a general life rule, drink one glass of water — flat or carbonated — between alcoholic drinks to

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

Holiday Fever

Kylie Minogue on her hot Christmases, ‘loyal’ gay fans and the lucky fella she’ll be kissing under the mistletoe

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

How does

Kylie Minogue make the yuletide gay? “By singing about it,” she says, giggling the cutest Kylie giggle. And then she does just that — she sings.

The song? “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” which the Aussie icon spontaneously launches into via phone, putting special emphasis on those “gay happy meetings.” Opening her first holiday album, Kylie Christmas, the frosty favorite is one of 13 songs bound to bring a little extra joy to the world.

“Christmas is a fun time to be over the top, that’s for sure,” Minogue says, before stating what every gay man from here to the North Pole already knew: “I deal in glitter.”

First things first: Have you been naughty or nice this year? Good question! I’d like to think I’ve been — how can I say this? (laughs) ... the right percentage of both.

How about that time you writhed on a medicine ball during your video for “Sexercise”? (Laughs) That was a little bit naughty.

But a lot of nice. We want nice.

What were your Christmases like as a kid? Hot! Over the years, my family has embraced Christmas more so in Australian fashion — we

haven’t totally let go of European or British tradition, which most people have a link to in that there is still a roast — even if it’s roasting outside, there’s still a roast in the oven. But I would say, same as the rest of the world. Get up, open your presents, run around. Eat too much. The only difference is, we end up in our swimming suit, jumping in the pool, standing around a barbecue.

Do you like a hot or cool Christmas? I like them both. They’re so different. I don’t remember when my first cold Christmas was, but that I found it very weird. People who’ve never had a hot Christmas — because most of the world associates Christmas with the cold — just cannot get their head around it. Even when we were recording, all the Brits are going, “Don’t you think it’s weird recording in June, July, August?

It’s summer.” I’m like, “Not really — makes sense to me.” I love it.

How did you make it feel like Christmas in the studio? Basically we just decorated the studio. The studio was full of fairy lights and Santa hats and Christmas candles. We did not hold back.

Did you get dressed up for the occasion? I went Christmas vibes — I didn’t go for full “sexy snow sleigh” album cover. We did have a sleigh in the studio. We had about five huge Christmas trees, giant crackers, toy soldiers and tinsel. Every day we were in there, it was more and more. It was really festive.

It felt like Christmas. And I’m glad the world’s catching up — it’s been Christmas since June!

When it comes to presents: giving or getting? Giving. I know it sounds cliché, but I love when you’ve got something for someone and they’re gonna understand your humor or get it, or it’s something they wouldn’t get for themselves. I especially like the wrapping.

Who are some of the gays in your life that you spend the holidays with? There’s normally a few around. I mean, my Christmas is different every year. Last year I was in Los Angeles. I feel really odd answering this question… like numbering them!

(Laughs) Let’s just say there’s a smattering. More sparkle!

What is the craziest Christmas gift you’ve ever received from

a fan? Oh, I don’t know. I can’t think of one. Nothing that alarmed me. Maybe this year will be different now that I’m Miss Christmas.

If you could kiss anyone under the mistletoe, who would it be? Awww — that would be my boyfriend [actor Joshua Sasse], for sure!

It will be our first Christmas together, so Christmas is even more special for me this year. I better order the mistletoe!

Get on that, Kylie. Note to self: mistletoe.

What do you make of headlines that draw attention to the fact that he’s 20 years younger than you? I understand it’s bound to happen because that’s a fact, but I just cannot express to you enough that it just doesn’t factor — it really doesn’t. I mean, I was surprised myself, but who you’re attracted to or who you fall in love with is beyond any kind of boxes that society puts you in.

And you know what, I hate boxes. I hate feeling that I’m restricted in any way, and definitely when it comes to love. You should love who you love.

Of course there’s been those headlines, but people seem to also think that we look like we should be together, so it’s not been as bad as it could’ve been ... let’s put it that way.

As a public figure, do you feel people are more prone to put you in a box? Oh, definitely. I remember it happening from quite a young age, and it would drive me crazy. I started in TV as an actress and began singing, and they’re so sort of close-minded: You’re an actress, not a singer, and then I was known for singing and finally I am a singer and they don’t understand that I still act. That was definitely the first time that that kind of notion hit me, and it just made no sense to me whatsoever.

In a broader sense, I hate being stuck in clothes, I hate being stuck in ideas. Maybe it’s being a Gemini — I need freedom! It’s like with the pony in the yard: If you close the gate, I will go wild; if you leave the gate wide open, I’m probably not going to leave.

I just need to know that you’re not closing me in with anything physical or mental. It’s a very deep issue for me.

Christmastime evokes different emotions for different people. For you, what kind of emotions do the holidays trigger? Excitement, then sheer panic because you think you’re ready but you’re not ready and then it all kind of creeps up on you. I think part of that panic is part of tradition, I guess. I would like to think this year I am officially ahead of the game. Also, wanting to be with family, if possible. And holiday — having a break. I would have to say one of the big pluses about a Christmas album is: At least I know when

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

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I’ll be finishing with promotion. December 25 I’m done! My work here is done!

How are some of these emotions presented on the album? On the album, there’s the kind of toasty just-wanna-cuddle-and-wearcashmere-sweaters vibe, which I didn’t have the last couple of years because I didn’t have a boyfriend, so that’s exciting. Then there’s the more emotional, bittersweet ones where you’re thinking about someone you love and you’re not with them, and I have that pretty much every year because I haven’t had a family Christmas in Australia for about six years and I’m not having one this year either. Then there’s the ones where everyone’s had a few drinks — Nana’s had a couple sherries — and everyone’s feeling very merry. Then it’s nap time, and you start again.

Light Years which had “Spinning Around,” and then to Fever, which was not quite as camp — it was more icy-pop. What I’m trying to say is that, after Kiss Me Once with Roc Nation, yes, I’ll do things differently, but I kind of do that after every album anyway.

But I wouldn’t go around and work with so many people. I would try to be a little more streamlined. And I can say that because I did it and I learned a lot. Six of one, half dozen of the other.

When it comes to your career, your gay

audience has been there every step of the way. It’s clear we have a special relationship.

After all this time, how would you describe that relationship? Strong. Genuine. Definitely funny at times. (Laughs) We get the same jokes, put it that way. And I never take it for granted. But you, for a long time, have been very loyal, and I feel like we’ve had a relationship for such a long time — and it’s a true relationship. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate and chrisazzopardi.com and is on Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

Earlier this year, and after releasing Kiss Me Once, you left your former management firm, Jay Z’s Roc Nation. I was getting used to a new situation, and I loved it for all of those reasons.

If I compare (Kiss Me Once) to making this album, it’s an unfair comparison. Within the confines of Christmas, you can’t do whatever you want — it’s a Christmas album — but I did learn some extremely valuable lessons through that, and my time there was well spent.

How will what you learned from that experience influence your approach to the next mainstream pop album you do? Assuming it’s pop... Oh, it will be. I think when Christmas is done, the pop drug will come back… gosh, I mean, this album is pop-y anyway. But with Impossible Princess, I got that out of my system and then I did

Rudy Florez / Hive Pass Rider since 2014

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

screen queen New DVDs for gifts

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO Two years before a drug overdose ended River Phoenix’s life in 1993, the dreamboat poeticized a tortured gay street hustler with gutting sorrow in out director Gus Van Sant’s groundbreaking queer-cinema classic, My Own Private Idaho. The actor’s piercing eyes and windblown hair were as aesthetically pleasing as Van Sant’s languidly shot rural landscapes.

The quiet countryside, the time-lapsing clouds.

But it’s Phoenix’s lonely, lived-in performance that, to this day, and especially among those in the LGBT community with intensely emotional connections to the film, is heralded as a spellbinding turn for the then-21-year-old actor. As Mike Waters, he is broken and lost. His mother is gone. The man he loves doesn’t love him. And exacerbating his crippled state is his long battle with narcolepsy. Searching for his mother — and himself — Mike sets off on the road with another gay hustler, Scott Favor (Keanu Reeves, also impressive). Their companionship unfolds both beautifully and tragically, most memorably amidst the crackling of a campfire and the sound of a breaking heart. Thanks to Criterion Collection, the Blu-ray debut of My Own Private Idaho includes a candid conversation with Van Sant and fellow filmmaker Todd Haynes focusing on various elements of the film and its enduring impact as one of the earliest “New Queer Cinema Movement” films. Also included are a lengthy documentary, an interview with Phoenix’s sister Rain and an extensive booklet featuring archival interviews.

INSIDE OUT Oh, emotions. Those crazy, complicated things that occupy our messy minds — they have lives of their own, don’t they? In Pixar’s moving new classic Inside Out, they even have names: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. Since birth, they’ve occupied Riley’s noggin, overseeing every life-changing evolution as she faces those difficult tween years.

You know the ones. And during those years, the film’s emotions react to a variety of Riley’s

new surroundings as the once-newborn kisses her youth goodbye and faces those inevitable growing pains. This is a cute, colorful, emotional film — one of Pixar’s best. Kids will adore it. It makes important assertions, like, without Sadness we couldn’t fully appreciate Joy. But the film resonates on a different, deeper level for adults — for anyone missing that special imaginary friend who embodied childhood innocence. The ones wishing they were still pulling their little red wagon. In those nostalgic memory-laden moments, we are all Riley, and we are all experiencing the full range of misty-eyed emotions as we reflect on letting go and growing up. Among the release’s twodisc extras: Lava, the sweet short about two lovestruck volcanos; hand-drawn deleted scenes with commentary; and interviews with voice actresses Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling and the wonderful-as-Sadness Phyllis Smith.

MAGIC MIKE 2 Butt floss was sexy before the jockstrap out-sexied it, but the ‘90s are dead and Sisqó is not popular anymore. So, let’s retire the thong, OK? The skivvies the Magic Mike 2 men don around their you-know-whats in Channing Tatum’s cinematic gift to the world should not be a thing. This is an important detail because this is a movie about men who dry hump metal poles. What conceals their bits is a supporting character. And the stripping itself — wait, what stripping? There’s hot-and-heavy dancing, to that song “Pony”... in a workshop... with a saw, but rarely do clothes come off. Rarely is there nudity. THIS IS A STRIPPING MOVIE AND THE PEOPLE WANT NAKEDNESS. But whatever.

If you have high expectations for Magic Mike 2, just stick to Sean Cody. This is not your movie.

But if you want Joe Manganiello, as Big Dick Richie, giving a not-having-it store clerk a good time with his trusty Cheetos and a bottle of water? Matt Bomer’s overdone hippy-dippy character, Ken, sexing up the stage as he sings D’Angelo? The whole hot herd voguing at a drag club? Then get those $20s out. Behind the scenes, we get to meet one very lucky choreographer. Channing Tatum grinds her. You know, just another day on the job.

THE GIFT New home. Happy couple. Dog. Shower. In The Gift, you know inevitable stranger danger looms just around the twisted and twisty corner, each shot a setup for the messy fallout.

When Gordo (Joel Edgerton, who also wrote and directed the film) comes into the picture, creepily stopping by unannounced with presents, it’s only a matter of time before things go awry.

Another shower scene. The dog again. When weird stuff starts happening, Gordo’s former classmate, Simon (an intensely serious Jason Bateman), tries to keep his distance, but one by one, the gifts keep coming; Simon’s too-nice wife, Robyn (Rebecca Hall), though, is charmed

by Gordo’s weirdness... and the gifts. For a while, anyway. As Gordo’s motives become clear, the characters come undone, challenging our initial perceptions and then smashing them to smithereens. The movie’s mind bends make Edgerton’s film a top-notch thriller, toying with your expectations all the way through that doozy of an ending. It wraps with the highest caliber of ’90s-thriller, leave-you-speechless crazy, messing with your mind as much as your moral compass. The Gift, in all its demented deliciousness, certainly is a gift. Extras include a wisely-changed alternate ending, some deleted scenes and an Edgerton commentary.

SPY See big woman run.

See big woman fall.

See big woman try to hop a fence and fail. So funny, right? … No? Uninspired weight-centric punchlines have been the bread and butter of Melissa McCarthy’s IMDB after her Bridesmaids breakthrough in 2011, cheapening the actress’ natural comic instincts. But leave your Melissa McCarthy hate at the door. Spy is a game-changer for McCarthy skeptics, as Paul Feig’s sharply scripted comedy gives the actress her best big-screen role yet. Fine with just blending in, McCarthy’s Susan Cooper is a frumpy middle-aged CIA analyst with a schoolgirl crush on her hunky partner, Agent Bradley Fine (Jude Law). When she’s compelled to step in, Cooper puts on her brave belt and goes undercover, disguising herself in some really hideous costumes, one of which, she jokes, resembles a “homophobic aunt.” Laughs don’t let up, especially during two of the film’s funniest scenes — one on a plane, another at a fancy restaurant — involving McCarthy and her Bridesmaids co-star Rose Byrne, who plays Susan’s diva-haired nemesis Rayna Boyanov.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

Luckily, there’s no shortage of supplements, with bloopers, character-centric features, a making-of, and alternate and extended scenes.

The best? Watching Byrne hold it together while McCarthy goes on a wine ramble.

(awww), a new girl joins, Anna Kendrick moves up in the world, the end. When does the third one come out again? Among a plentiful heap of special features: a behind-the-scenes feature with director Elizabeth Banks.

Also Out

ALADDIN

CINDERELLA (2015) Anyone still grappling with the fact that Angelina Jolie turned Maleficent into a wounded saint in the dreadful film of the same name, fear not. Cinderella at least remains faithful to its source, and Cate Blanchett knows not to screw with an evil icon. As the stepmother, Blanchett is masterfully torturous, while the lovable Lily James, as Cinderella, imbues authenticity as she channels the film’s two constants: courage and kindness. Helena Bonham Carter also stars, radiating the winsome aura of the Fairy Godmother, “bippity boppity boo” and all. This live-action take on the legendary 1950 Cinderella is handsomely rendered and lovingly retold, and if that and Blanchett still aren’t doing it for you, there’s always the magic happening in the prince’s pants.

The “Frozen Fever” short is included among a slight collection of extras.

PITCH PERFECT 2 Crushed it? Not quite. Even Rebel Wilson, who returns to steal scenes from her co-stars as Fat Amy, can’t give this off-pitch sequel enough of that Rebel Wilson-y ridiculousness for the film to achieve the same novel flair of the original. Wilson is fine and funny enough, but the script doesn’t hit many high notes. The Aussie fave’s only truly die-from-laughing scene? A cheesy showstopper wherein she belts Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” on a boat; it ends with a makeout session, a parody of every big, goopy rom-com climax. As for the rest of the Barden Bellas, they’re vying for another title, they do “Cups” by the campfire

It’s true — there won’t ever be another “friend like him.” As the Genie, Robin Williams wasn’t just the wish-making magic behind one of Disney’s classics — he was the big, beating heart.

Williams’ Genie is still one of Disney’s most celebrated sidekicks, boosting the fun factor to extremes (even doing drag) as he grants a misunderstood street criminal, Aladdin, three wishes. Naturally, there’s a pretty girl, Jasmine. Aladdin pines for her, they sing a song (“A Whole New World” is just as sweet as you remember it), and it’s all so enchanting. Supplements include several Genie-centric features, as filmmakers reflect on Williams’ “warmth.”

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW How’s this for a time warp: It’s been 40 years since newlyweds Janet (Susan Sarandon) and Brad (Barry Bostwick) stumbled upon a transvestite scientist’s sex chamber in the film version of the 1973 London-produced musical romp. And talk about a “hello from the other side” — things get weird. A queer cast of freewheeling fishnet-clad eccentrics spice up the otherwise spice-less lives of Janet and Brad — and anyone else needing to let their guard and girdle down.

Can’t get enough of the cult classic’s delicious tastelessness?

With a feature on the shadow cast craze, along with fromthe-vault extras like outtakes and a sing-along (as if you don’t already know it by heart), the Blu-ray will rock your world.

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www. chris-azzopardi.com.

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Q doku Level: Medium

8 2 3 6

8 5 4 3 4 1 8 6 6 2 3 7 8 6 4 3

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6 5 4 2

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3 1 8 4 9 3 6 4 6 9 3 5 8 7 8 1

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1 9 2 8 6 4 5 2 9 4 8 1 7 3 2 1 1 3 9 7

42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS BRONICORNS! — The adventures of two brothers going to BYU

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015 Brought to you by UGSA BYU, by Aaron Austin and Nathan Cunliffe

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER: HINT: UTAH JUDGE

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cryptogram A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED

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PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 54

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

q scopes

DECEMBER

From the Horse’s Mouth ACROSS 1 Petty of A League of Their Own 5 Be reminded of S&M, e.g.

9 Arc on Bernstein’s music score 13 Nuts 14 Hunted animal 15 Rubber on a rim 16 Start of a hopeful saying by 53-Across 18 Cole Porter’s “__ Love Again” 19 “Get your ass moving!”

20 Toklas of 20th century Paris 21 More of the saying 24 West Side Story gang 27 Emissions-watching org.

28 Insurance giant 29 Like “kweer,” to spellers 34 Strip a fruit 35 More of the saying 36 “You’ve Made ___ Very Happy” 37 Part of Adam that was used to make Steve?

39 Sport of Pam Parsons, for short 40 Stepchild of Caitlyn 41 Shook up 42 End of the saying 47 Circles over Mary and Peter 48 Blow away 52 Norse port 53 ‘50s Hollywood heartthrob who lives on a horse ranch 55 Pansy supporter 56 Sometime defender of gay rights 57 Isherwood’s ___ Camera 58 Seemingly forever 59 Shout to Nellie 60 Stuff for oral gratification DOWN 1 Unit of flagellation 2 Melville novel about a mutiny 3 Gambol 4 Tina dumped him 5 Insects that really suck 6 El Greco’s homeland 7 Ship, to seamen 8 Ball in the skull 9 Liquor source in Gomer’s Mayberry 10 Casino ceiling

11 Robert of Spenser: For Hire 12 Transsexual Richards 17 Dahl’s Willy 20 Ruck of Spin City 22 Place where you go straight 23 Per bottle of soda?

24 Suckers 25 Load 26 Gillette brand 29 ___ donna 30 In an early stage 31 Drop from a duct 32 Lesbos, for one 33 Opening for cock 35 Singer Williamson 38 Barely earns, with “out” 39 Language group including Zulu 41 Lover of Abraham 42 “___ were the days ...”

43 Can’t help but 44 First name in talk 45 Inn array 46 Gertrude painter 49 Colorado neighbor 50 Sea bottom captain 51 Pull out your shooter 53 “I taught I ___ a puddy tat!”

54 Interjection for Magnus Hirschfeld ANSWERS ON PAGE 54

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

be hard on them, and remember that it’s your turn to be the strong one this time.

Be versatile.

ARIES March 20–April 19 There are many celebrations taking place, and temptations are running rampant. Even so, it would be prudent to find a good place to hide out when things heat up. An interesting proposition will emerge, but the correct response is to remain passive. Future predictions are a tad muddled, but the present is clear

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Losing faith in a long time friend or loved one could crimp certain plans. A lesson in forgiveness may lead to resolutions and allow celebrations to continue. Remember that moments are momentary. The big picture involves finding good rhythm with a fair amount of practice. Don’t underestimate the power of making up.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Follow clues provided by an unlikely source of information.

A mystery is unraveling and bound to provide some much desired answers. Be prepared to change your mind on aspects once thought to be unquestionable.

The best way to find satisfaction is by leaving yourself open to new inputs of information

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

There are bound to be many parties going on, dividing priorities. Why not hold a group activity of your own?

Work with others who are equally eager to help, and something awe inspiring could develop. Disregard the stresses of work to focus on social interaction.

Experiences could lead to an expansive moments.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Follow clues provided by an unlikely source of information.

A mystery is unraveling and bound to provide some much desired answers. Be prepared to change your mind on aspects once thought to be unquestionable.

The best way to find satisfaction is by leaving yourself open to new inputs of information.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 If you’re out of control, don’t fret. It’s okay to be wild if no one gets hurt. A good heart is your best asset, and the aspect people love the most about you. Provide good services and don’t fear going the extra mile. Presents are bound to come your way, so be ready to collect. It could be more than you can handle

CANCER June 21–July 22 The urge to be bad could be overwhelming this month.

Keep in mind that there is always give and take when dealing with desire. Take your fair share, but remember that giving can be more rewarding. A dramatic disagreement with an old friend might cause tension. It’s hard to stop caring, but focus on what really matters.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 There aren’t many ways to reinvent the wheel, but that won’t stop you from trying. You have a knack for bringing people together, a vital skill during this joyous time. A desire to create unity will require some creative solutions to achieve. Not everyone is in the mood to party, but you can be quite persuasive.

LEO July 23–August 22 Present ideas then prepare for feedback. What a work associate or mentor says is bound to leave bad feelings. However, the resources are solid and development is likely to unfold.

Something useful and new is the most critical and valuable resource. When not working, take time for drinks or tasty treats. Fun is well deserved.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 A surprise will be unwelcome, as the end result will be unsatisfying. Keep cool and move along, or bad feelings will boil over like pot of rotten soup. Don’t be concerned with keeping up appearances during social gatherings.

Be yourself around family and friends.

Avoid getting upset and you’ll have an amazing time. Q

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 If it appears that no one is listening, they probably aren’t. A reinvention of your key messages could turn a few heads, with satisfying results.

Someone in the workplace could deliver praise. Take sincere compliments at face value, and let go of defensive preconceptions. Happiness is a free flowing river, and you are the boat.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 No matter how far off a goal may seem, the journey is going to be fun at this time. Get involved with key players in your life and enjoy the process of creation. There could be someone close that can’t seem to keep up. Don’t

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

positive thoughts

Q&A with Mondo Guerra

Mondo

BY ORIOL R. GUTIERREZ JR.

Guerra is a fashion designer who first came to fame in 2010 as a contestant on the eighth season of the reality television show Project Runway. Although he didn’t win, Guerra was a fan favorite, even before he disclosed his HIV-positive status on the show. At that moment he also took on the role of HIV/AIDS activist.

Guerra went through a whirlwind of media attention. Since then, his celebrity profile has certainly increased. He won the debut season of Project Runway All Stars and became a mentor on Under the Gunn (a spinoff series named after Project Runway host Tim Gunn).

His designs include apparel, accessories and jewelry.

Guerra has also found a way to connect his design career with his advocacy. In addition to being a spokesperson for “I Design,” an HIV/AIDS media campaign sponsored

by Merck, Guerra is a spokesperson for “Dining Out for Life,” an annual fundraiser sponsored by Subaru, in which restaurants donate proceeds to local HIV/AIDS groups.

Five years after publicly disclosing he

has HIV, Guerra explains how his life has changed and shares his goals for the future.

What prompted you to get tested for the virus in 2001 at the age of 22? When I was younger, I believed, like every young person, that I was invincible. I was not making the best decisions. I could feel there was something different about me. So I got tested, and my test came back positive.

After the diagnosis, I was devastated. I grew up in a Latino household and community, and there was never any discussion about HIV/AIDS, so it was definitely scary to me. I did not know how to deal with it.

When I was newly diagnosed, I was very ashamed and afraid. I didn’t really seek any support. I hate to say this, but in a lot of ways, looking back now, being raised Roman Catholic, I felt like it was some kind of punishment.

I stayed silent about my positive status even up to when I was in the hospital with pneumonia over Christmas in 2009. With my family and friends visiting me, I asked my doctors not to disclose any information.

They were walking into a room with a bed where I was hooked up to this and that, and in my heart and mind I was dying of AIDS. I still didn’t talk about it. I hit rock bottom, and I knew I had to start taking better care of myself.

I started taking medical advice and the proper treatments that I needed, and I got better very quickly. I had goals. For such a long time before I was in the hospital, HIV was defining who I was as a person and also as a creative.

The creative part of me was dying, so I had no reason to live. This creativity, the outlets where I was able to express myself, I used them to escape, a way to get through the day.

This emotional and spiritual support is an important part of keeping me going.

Tell us about your decision to disclose on Project Runway in 2010. My revelation on Project Runway was life-changing. It came from fear and turned into a huge sense of responsibility. I walked out on that runway in such a mood, but two hours later I was like, “What are people going to say?”

I was completely scared, so it wasn’t until

four days before the episode aired that I told my parents. My parents still live in the home that I grew up in. At the dinner table, we have assigned seating that has never changed.

We had dinner. I knew in my heart — which was beating a million miles an hour — that I just had to come out with it, so I told my parents. “I know” was the first thing my mom told me, that motherly instinct I have always heard about. We talked some more, then my mom said, “I am proud of you.”

That helped me to talk about HIV/AIDS more. I get very emotional about it still because I felt the love that came from the table that night, and it hurts me still because I didn’t trust them and that made me feel bad.

Speaking of your family, your mom and aunts inspired some of your eyewear. My eyewear collection is inspired by family and friends.

There is a whole set of eyewear that is named after my mom and her sisters. It is my way to give back to them, because they have been so supportive and inspirational. It is the least I can do.

I’ve had the great opportunity to have a reality show competition pivot me into some visibility for my designs. It has been such a blessing to have a crossover between my creative work and my advocacy.

Any collaboration that I do at this point must have some kind of way to give back.

So I’m glad that part of the See eyewear proceeds goes to amfAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research. It just makes sense to me to be able to do that for others.

What’s next for you? Right now, I am focusing on restructuring my business. I would love to focus more on my fashion. Advocacy remains dear to me, so I would like more ways to do this crossover of my interests.

I am working on a new show where I am allowed to communicate about HIV and my creative work. I’m not very sure on the direction of it, but it’s important for me to give inspiration and information to young people.

This interview originally appeared on POZ.com. Q Oriol R. Gutierrez Jr. is the editor-in-chief of POZ magazine. Find him on Twitter @oriolgutierrez. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody.com, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake.

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

fitness

No Pain, Still Gain

BY TYSON DAYLEY

801-308-2050

Are you

ever in pain after the gym? Not achey, got-ahold-ofthat-workout, pain. Pain that you might consider seeing your doctor for is above and beyond the realm of standard soreness.

Way too often I see gym-goers doing exercises that can consistently cause pain no matter how clean their form is.

The first I’d like to address is a two-for-one. Don’t ever do lat pulldowns or shoulder presses behind the neck.

These movements done behind the neck will put your shoulder in a compromised position at the end range of your mobility while loaded with weight. This is begging for a shoulder impingement with each rep.

www.jonjepsen.com avoided. When the lower back is in flexion (or being crunched forward as in most abdominal exercises) is especially delicate to rotations and pressure.

Shrugs done with a roll in the shoulders are another big no-no. When done in a straight up and down fashion shrugs are a great exercise for the trapezius. I commonly see gym rats adding a rolling motion to their shrugs and that’s when

this exercise becomes problematic. That added movement can cause binding and impingement through the shoulder girdle.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

the frivolist 9 ways NOT to come out at holiday time

BY MIKEY ROX

Last year,

I wrote a rather pointed column for the Frivolist called “9 Reasons Why Coming Out on a Holiday Isn’t a Good Idea,” which detailed the consequences of revealing your sexuality at an already stressful time of year, and it drew a fair amount of criticism. I still stand by that piece, despite that I was branded a homophobe for it — though, I did provide my rebuttal to that misnomer — but this year I decided to take a lighter approach. So, sure, go ahead and come out around the holidays if that’s what you want to do. Just please, pleeeease don’t do it these ways.

CUEING UP THE ADULT VIDEO YOU STAR IN Sexting is fairly commonplace now — just ask everybody on Tinder and Snapchat — as is making private videos on your phone or computer.

There’s nothing wrong with it either, so long as it’s consensual. I can guarantee, however, that the guests at your family’s holiday table don’t want to watch you get stuffed harder than that Thanksgiving turkey as they sit down to eat a delicious meal. Thus, refrain from cueing up your sex videos to break the coming-out ice, and steer clear of any professional videos you’ve made, too; despite the higher production value, it won’t make those giblets any more appealing.

ASKING YOUR GAY UNCLE TO DO YOUR BIDDING OK, so your mom and your gay uncle are super close. They trust each other, love each other, and there’s nothing that could drive a wedge between them. Until you came along, that is.

Avoid this situation by resisting the urge to ask your gay family members to come out for you.

Certainly you can ask them for support, but your coming out is just that — yours — and it’s not fair to put someone else in an awkward position if you don’t have the courage to do it yourself. If that’s the case, wait to come out when you’re confident and ready. You’ll have a better experience that way, and you won’t feel guilty by causing a potential rift in a perfectly good relationship.

PERFORMING A SHORT HOLI-GAY SKIT If your family wants to see a show, they’ll go to the community theater; no need to perform a three-act play on all the ways you’re gay right before lighting the menorah. If you crave attention that badly, and a thunderous applause for coming out, do it among friends at another non-specific time of year so you’ll have their undivided attention and they’ll have something to reminisce about for years to come.

BRINGING YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND WITHOUT NOTICE Bringing a same-sex guest whom you’ve courted to a holiday meal without notice is not only a blind side, it’s rude as hell. In fact, this tip applies to all people — LGBT or not. Unless you’ve RSVPed for the additional person, you should arrive alone. If an exception needs to be made last minute — and, OK, it happens — call the host in advance to ask permission. If it’s your boyfriend or girlfriend you’d like to bring, at least that gives everyone a chance to process the impending situation a couple hours before it’s in their face.

SNEAKING IN A GRINDR TRICK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT Nobody wants to get caught with their pants around their ankles while grandma sneaks down to the kitchen for a midnight slice of pie. Keep your tricks in the bag while you’re at home for the holidays, or at least be courteous enough to bang it out in a nearby parking lot and send him home with a parting gift.

GETTING HELD UP AT THE AIRPORT BECAUSE OF YOUR DILDO If you thought telling your family that you’re gay will be difficult, just wait until you have to explain your penchant for big black rubber cock.

PREPARING A MONOLOGUE ON ALL THE WAYS EVERYBODY ALREADY SHOULD’VE KNOWN YOU’RE LGBT Quell your inner Robert Shaw and resist the urge to dramatically lambaste your family members for not recognizing the innumerable ways you’re gay. In fact, your sexuality may be a nonissue for your family — maybe they couldn’t care less about who you’re sleeping with as long as you’re healthy and happy — so just get to the point so they can all move on … to dessert.

INVITING YOUR FAMILY TO YOUR LOCAL DRAG SHOW Nobody’s ready for that tragedy.

LEAVING SUBTLE HINTS, LIKE FILLING THE DVR WITH ROB WILLIAMS MOVIES As much as I love Rob Williams movies (Make the Yuletide Gay is a totally cute Christmas flick, and you should watch it), filling your DVR with his repertoire of sexy but seriously gay work is a cop out to coming out. Set aside some time with your family to speak for yourself and come out in a manner where all members can process the information, ask the questions they need to ask, and move on. Besides, there are so many other awesome gay things on this time of year — like the drunk AF “Judy Garland Christmas Special” — and you’ll need all the free space you can get. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

Q health Open enrollment for health insurance.

BY PETER STOKER

It’s that

time of year … not the holidays but open enrollment for health insurance. This began on Nov. 1 and ends 90 days later on Jan. 31, 2016.

Many people still question whether or not health insurance is necessary. For those of you considering getting on PrEP or those that already are, making sure your insurance plan covers the cost is crucial.

Same goes for those diagnosed with HIV. You want to double check that your doctor, clinic, tests, medications are covered by the plan you enroll in. To help you make the correct choice there are people called navigators to assist you. They can be reached by calling 800318-2596 or visiting healthcare.gov.

Here is a list of 10 reasons why one should consider getting health insurance through the marketplace: Government assistance has made health insurance more affordable than ever. The government provides subsidies that could help you save hundreds each month on health insurance premiums. But if you miss open enrollment, you may miss out on your subsidy.

Pre-existing conditions are covered. Too many Americans were unable to get the health insurance they so badly needed due to pre-existing health conditions. Under healthcare reform, those days are gone.

Insurance companies cannot refuse to cover you due to a past or current health condition and they can’t terminate your policy if you get sick.

It’s the law. Federal law requires that all Americans have health insurance that provides coverage for everything from

hospitalization to prescription drugs. If you don’t have the right kind of coverage, you may have to pay the “individual mandate” tax to the IRS. In 2016, the penalty for not enrolling will be $695 per person ($347.50 per child under 18) or 2.5 percent of annual income (based on income above the tax filing threshold), whichever is greater. The penalty will be assessed when federal taxes are filed for 2016. (thebodypro.com) This is the ONLY time you can buy comprehensive health insurance. If you miss open enrollment, you may not be able to purchase the health insurance coverage you need — and the coverage the government requires you to have — during 2015.

No annual or lifetime limits.

Even a minor accident or a short stay in the hospital can result in thousands of dollars in medical bills. Under healthcare reform, insurance companies are prohibited from imposing annual or lifetime limits on comprehensive health insurance.

Benefits, benefits, benefits.

Healthcare reform requires insurance companies to cover 10 essential health benefits: hospitalization, doctor’s visits, emergency care, mental health services, prescription drugs, rehabilitative therapy, lab tests, pediatric services, and preventive services including vaccinations and chronic disease management.

Women’s wellness. All new plans must cover preventive services for women without a copay, including breast and cervical cancer screenings, contraception and well-woman visits.

Changing plans may save you BIG money. This year more and more insurance companies are competing for your business.

You may like your current plan, but perhaps there is a new plan available that provides better coverage at a lower cost. If you don’t research your new options, you may end up paying more.

Physician networks are improving. Last year, many people were upset over “skinny networks.” That means insurance companies limited which doctors and hospitals they would cover. This year is different — insurance companies listened and broadened their networks to meet the needs of their customers. Is your doctor or local hospital covered under

your current plan?

Everyone’s doing it. Last year, millions of Americans finally got the health insurance they needed. The number of uninsured Americans dropped dramatically, as people discovered subsidies have finally made health insurance affordable for everyone.

Please take the time to learn about insurance and take the necessary steps to get enrolled this year. Act by Dec. 15 for coverage effective Jan. 1, 2016.

For more information, see healthcare.gov and thebodypro. com. Q C. Peter Stoker, MPH, is a Certified Health Education Specialist and HIV Outreach Educator/ Epidemiologist at Salt Lake County Health Department.

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52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NIGHTLIFE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

princess kennedy

Rhapsody in Violet PRINCESS KENNEDY

On Dec. 5

at Metro Bar we shall be having yet another of the RuPaul’s Drag Race queens gracing our fair city. It seems to be the common feeling that Drag Race queens are like cilantro, you either like them or you don’t.

When asked if I had interest in interviewing Mx. Violet Chachki, it was low, and here’s my reasoning: I’ve seen maybe three episodes of RPDR. I come from the older school of drag that thought these queens were given something they didn’t deserve with no regard to those who came before them. At least that was what I told myself when, in all honesty, I was just bitter about all the hard work I did in my past. I was seething with jealousy that there was never anything like RPDR when I was younger and they get all the fame and recognition that I felt I had deserved.

I’m a pretty smart gurl. I like to think so, anyway. I stepped back and off my pedestal to admire myself in the mirror of life and resolved that this shade of green is an ugly color on everyone.

I first noticed Violet about two years ago when a picture of her balls in a tucker surfaced in Vice Magazine due to a controversial art show about gender illusionists in her hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. The second time I saw her was in one of the three episodes I saw of RPDR, it was the fashion catwalk episode.

The bitch turned it out like mutha! She

strutted down the catwalk in her own creation of a cape-like black garment that — before your very eyes and a literal flick of her wrists — turned into a punk-rock-plaid batwinged jumpsuit. This very event, along with the fact “Hotlanta’s” community has the most dedicated and beautiful queens, led me to dig deeper and look beyond my initial criticism.

I simply found an answer to a question I posted on my FB wall, “If you had the chance to sit and have a conversation with Violet Chachki, what would you ask her?” Prolifically, the only response was, “Who is she?”

I set out with a tough set of questions that could have sounded a bit patronizing and ended with an interview that had made me fall in love with this self-proclaimed “one of a kind collectable.” I realized that this show pony has been in it to win it way before RuPaul was on her radar.

Born a cis male named Jason Dardo, his early influences included his grandmother, who was a quick-witted Latin and a wiz with a Singer that made his many Halloween costume dreams come to fruition. A woman whom he lovingly referred to as Mamacita influenced his being in many ways. For the RuPaul faithful, you might remember in the Salsa competition Violet changed her name to Mamacita.

Jason had a childhood like most of us. He went to Catholic school, found solace and friends outside of that setting, including a best friend he still has to this day named Billy who helps to keep his feet on the ground.

Finding his passion early on in fashion, Jason would strip out of his Catholic school boy drag and opt for the cutting edge (o’-the-day eccentric gender-fuck ensembles).

This normal teen with his nonconforming attitude and highly developed sense of fashion left his parental digs at 17 and inhabited a squat with Billy and a motley crew of characters in Atlanta. Graduating from high school he enrolled in fashion design courses at Savannah College of Art and Design.

It was then that Violet Chachki came into her own. She discovered the burlesque scene, Betty Page and her passion for the stage.

Jason made a very bold choice to leave school and hop on the train of his budding drag career, a move that is probably a one-ina-million gamble for anyone else.

Billy, the best friend, convinced Violet to not just be a pretty face but back it up with talent on stage. Billy knew her on stage and I, for one, am glad he did. To watch Violet perform is mesmerizing — taking elements of drag and burlesque and circus arts and blending them in to one. To watch Violet is to watch a seasoned professional from another era, way before her time, doing something she loves.

So now that VC has won her big title, what’s next? Few know that the day they filmed the winner of RPDR was the day that Bruce Jenner made his big announcement and this came to Violet as a sort of kismet. It not only taking pressure off the day, but gave a bit of foresight that she wanted to help in her own way with her community. Keep on the lookout for an auction of some of Mx. Violet’s more memorable outfits, which she will be donating to Lost and Found, Atlanta’s homeless youth shelter.

Making a huge adult decision, Violet bought a condo in her hometown with her winnings.

That lets me know that this queen keeps the past in her heart and an attitude of shooting for the stars while taking it day-by-day. If asked she’ll tell you that her future is living for the moment, touring new exciting destinations and pushing her brand, including the album — a sort of industrial meets French pop sound — that was dropped the day she won.

If I’m going to be honest, her talents shine elsewhere. For her immediate future, she’s looking to take a bit of a break during December and have a few drinks with Billy in her new digs, except her Dec. 5 show at Metro Bar. There you have it, like her or not. A queen with a dream who’s just as real as you or me.

Give it a chance, I think you might find the cilantro to be delicious, I did. Q PHOTO: MISS MISSY PHOTOGRAPHY

NIGHTLIFE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

december 2015 | issue 250 | gaysaltlake.com

IT’S

Qmmunity Calendar Weekly Events: SUNDAYS  Beer Church at Club Try-Angles @ 3pm | 251 W 900 S, clubtry-angles. com  Karaoke Church at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

MONDAYS

SATURDAYS  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com  Club X with DJ Robbie Rob | 445 400 W

Special Events DEC 4  Utah Bears Night at Club Try-Angles

DEC 5

 Pride Yoga at Utah Pride Center @ 6:30 | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

 Big Gay Fun Bus leaves Club TryAngles @noon  Jawbreaker, Featuring Violet Chachki @Metro 9pm Drag Standard Time

WEDNESDAYS

 First Sunday Bingo with Matrons of Mayhem @ OffTrax

 Karaoke at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W  Utah Bears Dinner, meeting first at Raw Bean @ 6pm | 611 West Temple, utahbears.com  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center @ 5-7pm | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

DEC. 6

DEC 11  Naughtier than Nice XXXmas @ Club Jam  Bad Kids Collective Present: Weirdo @Area 51 (18+ event)  Gear and Leather Night at TryAngles

THURSDAYS

DEC 16

 Karaoke at Club Try-Angles | 251 W 900 S, clubtryangles.com

 “Twas’ The Week Before Christmas” Those Bitches Charity Drag Show for Lunches of Love Homeless Youth Program @Club Try-Angles

FRIDAYS  Gossip! at Club Sound @9:30pm | 579 W 200 S, gossipslc.com  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

DEC 18  Ugly Sweater & Lisa Dank Birthday party @Club Jam

 Third Friday Bingo with Matrons of Mayhem at First Baptist Church @7pm

DEC 19  Underwear Night with Carnal Desires at Try-Angles

DEC 25  Free Christmas dinner @TryAngles @3-8pm  Code presented by blackBOOTS at Try-Angles @9pm

DEC 31  NYE Party with DJ Lishus @Club Jam  NYE Party @Club Try-Angles  BAR EVENT : 21+ (GOSSIP! 18+)

IT’S

IT’S

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54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 250 | december 2015

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of this ain’t yo mama’s turkey

behind. To my horror, there it was, my best beehive wig, covered in turkey gravy. To it’s credit, the wig acted like a giant tampon and sopped up the greater portion of the gravy, thus shielding Queertanic from embarrassment on the occasion of her very first period.

My little car, all grown up.

With mascara running down my cheeks, like the eyes of Tammy Faye, I turned Queertanic around, and returned home to Chateau Pap Smear to regroup.

I remade my face, got a new wig and made a new batch of gravy in only 20 minutes, and I wasn’t late for dinner.

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

Cryptogram: THE BIBLE IS NOT A BOOK THAT’S AN ATTACK ON GAY Anagram: SELENA GOMEZ PEOPLE. IT IS HORRIBLE THAT WE HAVE MADE IT WHERE THE BIBLE IS A HOMOPHOBIC MANUAL. 6 2 1 7 8 3 4 5 9 1 5 8 4 6 3 9 2 7

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This statement is usually followed by a mass scurrying of little feet to the relative safety of the living room, or the smoking

As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions.

1. Do gay boys take up smoking just so they can be safe from the Kitchen Queen’s wrath?

2. Should I teach the Relief Society kitchen combat techniques in homemaking lessons?

3. Is there a market for industrial sized big wig tampons?

4. Should I design a Breasticle with a rotating wire whisk nipple that can double as an automatic gravy stirrer?

5. Should I market it as the Whipple-Nipple-Tittle?

6. Should bicyclists be required to have a “Caution Spandex In Motion” warning sign on their bikes?

3 5 4 2 1 9 7 6 8

not actively engaged in the production of the meal, get the hell out of my kitchen.”

porch, much like the running away of cockroaches when a light is turned on.

I’m reminded of one Thanksgiving when I was assigned to bring the gravy. Rather than having me clog up the host’s kitchen with my immense bulkitude, I decided to make the gravy at home and then transport it in a crock pot to the dinner destination. After I made the most wonderful gravy that I have ever labored over, I put on my best Fancy Eat’n Dress, complete with rhinestone bedazzled opera length hot mitts and loaded the gravy into the trunk of Queertanic for transport. My beehive hair has a challenge fitting in Queertanic, so I was forced remove said hairdo and place it carefully in the trunk alongside the gravy. Well, as I was gently navigating Queertanic slowly around every corner so as not to upset the gravy, a bicyclist wearing very tight alluring spandex pulled alongside the car.

Like a moth to flame, my eyes were stuck on the spandex, and I didn’t see the speed bump.

My stomach lurched as I heard from the rear of car, a thump and bump. Oh shit! I pulled over and popped the trunk. With trepidation, I got out. Fearing the worst I approached Queertanic’s

9 8 7 6 3 4 5 1 2

pas to be avoided in all but the most extreme cases. However, if worse comes to worst, “Alexis You Bitch” is the appropriate war cry for a queen done wrong, bent upon redemption.

The White House Situation Room during the shock and awe bombardment of a Middle Eastern country is usually less stressful than a typical kitchen mid-Thanksgiving turkey trot.

For one thing, there are usually too many aunts and sisters all trying to demonstrate to the Resident Cook in Chief that they are equally gifted in the homemaking arts. If it’s a gay household, you will often find the kitchen cluttered with too many buff young gym bunnies standing around the sink, lest they need to move more than eight inches in order to freshen their beverage.

Now, I like to “cop a feel” of a well-endowed gym bunny just like any other red-blooded queen worth her tiara. After all, I took the class, “Undetectable/Unprovable Groping” at Queenly Finishing School, where I graduated with honors.

A closely packed kitchen of gym bunnies is a very tempting hunting ground, except when there is a turkey that needs stuffing.

Nevertheless, there has been more than one occasion when, amidst the chaos of basting the turkey, mashing the potatoes, stirring the gravy and removing the rolls from the oven that I have had to stop and shriek (in a most queenly dignified way) at the top of my voice, “anyone

4 1 2 8 9 5 6 3 7

to a peaceful Thanksgiving afternoon food coma is fraught with danger and excitement.

The holidays are quickly approaching. Normally, this time of year brings about great additional stress, due to the necessity of attending family gatherings.

Customarily, I sit at the Thanksgiving table, stuffing my girdle past the fail-safe point with turkey and all the delicious fixings to the extent of a catastrophic elastic failure ending in a disaster of such gigantic proportions that it would make the crash of the Hindenburg resemble a party balloon popping; the result being the untimely elimination of an entire branch of the family tree.

As I slip into the traditional oblivion brought on by the Tryptophan overdose, I ponder the social and familial stresses that the holiday season brings to the forefront of our gay lives and how our holidays tend to diverge from the perfect Norman Rockwell ideal, to which our mothers strive valiantly to attain, but inevitably fail, thereby turning to prescription drug abuse to bridge the void. (My personal recommendation is Valium, but Zanex can do in a pinch.)

Often the tensions of the family bonds are stretched so tight as to be more explosive than backstage at a drag show when the snuff runs out. With the family version of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell frequently in effect about how we “stuff our turkey,” extreme diplomacy, advanced verbal gymnastics and superior manners are required to save lives, not to mention inheritances. Remember girls, until the end of time, the pulling of hair, ala Crystal Carrington and Alexis Colby, is a social faux

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