QSaltLake Magazine - March 2016 by QSaltLake Magazine

March 2016 Issue 253

THEN COMES MARRIAGE S E CO N D I N O U R TH R E E - PA RT S E R I E S

Elevate Your Event!

Orangerie

Wedding Lawn

Photo by Britt Chudleigh

Rose House

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BILL T JONES/ARNIE ZANE DANCE COMPANY

“Holocaust survival in dance and spoken word”

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HERITAGE BLUES ORCHESTRA

“The power, possibilities and beauty of African-American music” Shows Start at 7:30 P.M.

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4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THE FIRST WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

in this issue

staffbox publisher/editor Michael Aaron

copy editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan, Steven Simmons

Then Comes Marriage

Wedding Expo

Margaret Cho

Spotlighting the wedding of Amy Porter and Rachel Young at Red Butte Gardens’ Orangerie

A wedding show for same-sex couples Mar. 6

Gregg Shapiro interviews Margaret Cho, coming Feb 26–27, about her upcoming album.

NEWS ��12

A&E ��32

What Equality Utah and others are doing on Utah’s Capitol Hill this year What’s new for this year’s Utah Pride? A drug treatment program specifically for the LGBT community

Tony Hobday’s Gay Agenda A gay Mormon Superhero explodes on the scene ‘The Best Party of Our Lives’ book review

VIEWS ��16

NIGHTLIFE ��48

Christopher Katis wonders aloud why samesex couples choose to get married Ben Williams talks about Utah’s queer marriages through the centuries A call for Rep. Christensen to be removed from chairing the important Judiciary committee

FOOD & DRINK ��39 Dining Guide, Cocktail ideas for your Oscar party Tyson Daly says fitness is worth the weight wait. How much weight is safe to lose per week? Petunia Pap Smear offers up her 100th tale Princess Kennedy has a heart-to-heart with her mother about being pretty and trans Qmmunity Calendar of nightlife events

from the publisher

contributors Diane AndersonMinshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Tyson Daley, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Princess Kennedy, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Peter Stoker, Marcy Taylor-Rizzi, Ben Williams, D’Anne Witkowski distribution Jason Van Campen,

Bradley Jay Crookston, Tad Wada publisher

Salt Lick Publishing LLC 222 S Main St, Ste 500 Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-649-6663 Contact emails: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

Check us out online at:

Always personal BY MICHAEL AARON

I have

officiated over many dozens of weddings, beginning clear back in the late 80s and early 90s — back when they were called ‘civil unions.’ I’ve noticed that for every couple, whether they’ve spent thousands or simply met me down at the Salt Lake County Clerk’s office dressed in work clothes, there’s always this moment that I can see in their eyes: “Oh my god, this just got real!” Sometimes it happens as early as when they begin to walk down the aisle. For others it happens when I declare that they can now have their first kiss as a legally married couple. But it always happens. Whether someone chooses an elaborate wedding or a simple one, it is always an important day. So when I read about couples finding out a

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chosen vendor will not participate in their day, I know that they have had their heart broken in some way. Some react with wanting to sue. Others in outright tears or anger. Few just say, okay have a nice day. That is why we are holding the Utah Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo on March 6th at the Eventos Reception Center. We are gathering dozens of vendors who will be more than happy to be part of your happy day. I call it the BUYcott versus boycott rule. Why force someone who doesn’t want to do same-sex weddings to grit their teeth and do it anyway? Will you get the best service from them? There are plenty of people right here in good-ol’ Utah who will thrill in making your cake or photographing your ceremony. Come on down and meet them. The Utah Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo will be held Sunday, March 6 at the Eventos Reception Center, 3485 S Main St. Tickets are $5 if bought beforehand or $7 at the door. For more information, go to UtahgayWeddingExpo.com.

QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2015, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 10,000 copies of QSaltLake Magazine are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the Wasatch Front. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake Magazine is not to be construed as any indication of the person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when you are through with it.

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)

NY, White House act to ban ‘conversion therapy’ New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo will ban "conversion therapy" in the State. NY joins Oregon, California, Illinois, New Jersey and Washington, D.C. with Cuomo saying, "Conversion therapy is a fundamentally flawed practice." The Obama administration also announced support for banning the practice after a petition begun when a transgender teenager died from suicide after being subjected to therapy to alter gender identity had gained 120,000 signatures. White House adviser Valerie Jarrett wrote the “overwhelming scientific evidence demonstrates that conversion therapy …. is neither medically nor ethically appropriate and can cause substantial harm.”

US Supreme Court Justice Anton Scalia dies U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, well known to LGBT people for his antigay positions in landmark cases, has died. Scalia, 79, was found dead at the Cibolo Creek Ranch, a resort near Marfa while on a quail hunting trip. Scalia was arguably the most conservative voice on the high court and was a reliable opponent of LGBT equality.

Putting the ‘T’ in the Olympics

made countless lives better. Love won. We all won.”

New guidelines for transgender athletes to compete in the 2016 Olympics will be approved by the IOC in time for the Brazil Summer Games. The guidelines leave no restriction for competition in men’s events and remove the need for women to have reassignment surgery. “The new IOC transgender guidelines fix almost all of the deficiencies with the old rules,” said Joanna Harper, chief medical physicist at Providence Portland Medical Center.

HRC says 26 states need work on LGBT equality

Marriage equality didn’t ruin marriage, but is Hell on divorce After gay marriage became legal, straight divorce fell to a 25-year low says the North Carolina’s Department of Health and Human Services. The Department reported fewer couples divorcing following the legalization of same-sex marriage in North Carolina than during any period in the last quarter of a century. The report notes that North Carolina experienced a slight jump in divorces in 2012, the same year voters approved Amendment 1, the controversial amendment banning same-sex marriage in the state.

Freedom to Marry, adieu A key organization in the fight for marriage equality, Freedom to Marry, is closing up shop. Founder Evan Wolfson, wrote, “Our journey at Freedom to Marry has come to an end. This is the final note you’ll receive from Freedom to Marry.” Wolfson, an attorney based in New York City, founded the organization in the 90s — the idea coming from a project Wolfson started in law school. He wrote, “Through hard work, we held America to its promise, inspired tens of millions around the world, and

The Human Rights Campaign released the State Equality Index which details individual state progress for LBGT equality protections. “Even with marriage equality the law of the land, the battle for LGBT rights at the state level continues to be a story of successes and setbacks,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. The SEI assigns states to one of four categories: Solidifying Equality, Working Toward Innovative Equality, Building Equality, High Priority to Achieve Basic Equality. Utah is cited as “Building Equality” with six other states, defined as: “states have taken steps toward LGBT equality, including passing basic nondiscrimination and hate crimes

laws, but have few protections for transgender health care. Advocates must work to stop bills that undermine LGBT equality.” Twenty-eight states are in the lowest-rated category “High Priority to Achieve Basic Equality.” The report is at hrc.org/sei

Kim Davis obeys court Federal Judge David Bunning ruled that Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis has obeyed orders to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples since she went to jail for refusing to do so. He found that Davis has allowed her deputies to issue licenses to anyone eligible since September and that the altered licenses are likely valid under Kentucky law. Bunning found that Davis has been complying with his order and that “there is every reason to believe that any altered licenses ... would be recognized under Kentucky law,” rendering the ACLU's request “moot.”.

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8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Equality Utah Reports on the Legislative Session It’s half time for the 2016 Utah State Legislative Session and Utah’s LGBT political watch dog and action organization Equality Utah has been active at the State Capitol. The session ends March 10. There is legislation and activity EU is watching and working on: hate crimes, adoption, religious exemptions, marriage revisions and others. EU executive director Troy Williams reported to the group’s Capitol Club, and here are some of the excerpts. “As usual, we will be playing both defense and offense,” Williams said.

RELIGIOUS EXEMPTIONS Rep. LaVar Christensen, R-Sandy, will have another religious exemption bill. There is no language yet, but last year’s incarnation would have used religion as a defense to any claim of discrimination, effectively unraveling every civil right law in our state.

CLEAN-UP BILLS Rep. Kraig Powell, R-American Fork, has composed a bill, HB299, removing the unconstitutional Amendment 3 and fixing Utah code that mentions “huuband and wife.” The bill, which has not yet been heard by a committee, has little chance of passage.

ADOPTION Powell also introduced a “Parentage Amendment” giving heterosexual parents preference over same-sex parents in adoption and foster cases. This was the same principle of the vacated ruling of Judge Johansen in Carbon County who tried to stop a lesbian couple from adopting. Williams says the bill is unconstitutional and EU is confident it will be defeated. “Gay parents have equal pro-

tection now under the law,” he said. “Any effort by Rep. Powell to roll back the rights and liberties of LGBT Utahns will be met with fierce resistance from our community.” The Supreme Court ruling did not explicitly address adoption and child-rearing, but did declare that same-sex couples have a right to marriage and all the rights and benefits enjoyed by married heterosexual couples, said Douglas NeJaime, faculty director of the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law.

HATE CRIME Sen. Stephen Urquhart, R-St. George, has sonsored SB107, Hate Crimes Amendments, which Williams says has an opportunity to benefit not only the LGBTQ community, but the entire state. According to Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill, “Utah’s current hate crimes law is a toothless tiger.” Without explicitly saying what is prohibited, the current hate crimes law is unable to protect anyone. Utah adopted the current hate crime laws in 1992, At that time, opponents watered it down to make it largely ineffectual, claiming that mentioning sexual orientation or gender identity in state code would make the groups “suspect classes” and would be a slippery slope to gay marriage To keep LGBTQ people from being included, the bill removed all class designations. Urquhart hopes the bill will provide the tools needed to effectively prosecute hate crimes.

COALITION FOR A SAFE UTAH Equality Utah has begun assembling faith groups, ethnic communities and advocacy organizations which support laws that “strengthen our state,” calling it the Coalition

for a Safe Utah. Williams and a team of EU board and staff and community lobbyists are spending long hours at the Legislature fighting against bad legislation and for positive steps for legal protections. Williams encourages people

in the LGBT community and allies to contact their legislators with your opinions on the proposed legislation which affects civil rights. To contact your legislators about SB107, Equality Utah has set up a page at bit.ly/1PS4ovW Q

Tempers flare as chair Christensen ignores rules, ends debate on LGBT adoption bill Rep. LaVar Christensen, RDraper, is no stranger to the rules of the Utah State Legislature, but his handling of the House Judiciary Committee meeting as Rep. Angela Romero, D-Salt Lake City, introduced a bill to update adoption and foster care laws in state code after the U.S. Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage the law of the land. The committee postponed a vote on the proposal to ensure married gay couples are treated equally as married heterosexual couples in adoptions and foster care placements. Officials with the Utah Attorney General’s office and state child welfare division testified in support of the bill, saying it brings Utah in line with last year’s U.S. Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage. But the House Judiciary Committee voted 8-3 to leave for the weekend without voting on the measure. Christensen interrupted both Utah officials as they attempted to make opening arguments,

rather then wait until presentations were over, as nearly all committee hearings are run on the Hill. Rep. Brian King, D-Salt Lake, called a point of order that Christensen was violating legislative rules by interrupting the presentation, but Christensen wouldn’t allow the discussion. He and King argued briefly and Christensen threatened to end the meeting before allowing it continue. Christensen also ignored standard procedure of alternating between pro and con speakers. Several speakers, including Utah Eagle Forum president Gayle Ruzicka, spoke in succession against the bill, quoting debunked studies showing heterosexual couples make better parents than same-sex couples. Orem Republican Rep. Keven Stratton, saying he had a 7-hour drive home, called for the committee to adjourn, which was approved by majority vote along party lines. Romero sent later stated the law of the land is clear. Q

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

Pride to return to roots

Depending on who you talk to, this is either the 41st or 42nd Pride in Salt Lake City. This year’s will take place Friday, June 3 through Sunday, June 5 again at Washington and Library Squares, though because of construction on a smaller footprint. This year’s theme is #WeArePride and is a nod back to every year that got us here today. “Many people remember the original gatherings, BBQ’s in the park, and coalition marches. Every year Valerie Walker these events grew bigger and bigger until they turned into the Festival and Parade we have today,” said Valerie Walker, this year’s festival director. “#WeArePride signals a return to the Festival’s roots as a celebration of the LGBTQ+ community in Utah.” To celebrate the anniversary, organizers unveiled a new logo for the event.

Also in the name of celebrating and honoring past Prides, organizers say they will be giving away 20,000 tickets to local charities, on social media, through media partners and directly to members of the community at pre-Festival events. “We want to make sure that everyone has an opportunity to attend, even if they can’t afford

tickets,” Walker said. This year you’ll be able to purchase tickets online and with credit cards at the event. To alleviate lines at the Festival, organizers are encouraging people to buy their tickets in advance, online. Advance ticket sales will be at a discounted price. 2016 Utah Pride Festival ticket prices are as follows: • Friday tickets are $5. • Saturday or Sunday tickets are $10 in advance or $12 at the Festival for each day • 3-day passes are $20 in advance or $30 at the festival • Emerald Passes for all three days, which also come with a commemorative lanyard, 41st anniversary t-shirt, and other benefits (to be announced) are $50 in advance or $60 at the Festival Another change this year is around the grand marshal. “We’ll be honoring community icons from our past, present and future,” Walker said. “Previously we honored one person, a grand marshal. This year we’re celebrating three individuals who have helped our community. These three icons will be selected from over 250 people who have been nominated. Once the list is narrowed down we’ll be asking the community to vote for the icons who best represent our past, present and future.” More information on what’s in store for the 2016 Utah Pride Festival, including the schedule, festival map, entertainers, etc. will be posted on the utahpridefestival.org website as soon as things are finalized. Organizers hope for a large turnout this year. “If it weren’t for the Utah Pride Festival, it wouldn’t be possible for the Utah Pride Center to offer vital programs and services to the LGBTQ+ community in Utah,” Walker said. Q

165 S Main Street, Suite 200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Leon ‘Dane’ Hall arrested for assaulting police officer Leon “Dane” Hall, who claimed in 2011 that he was “curb-checked” during a hate crime assault, was arrested Feb. 2 after a fight with a Salt Lake City police officer. According to police, Hall hit the officer with a metal and glass decoration, severing part of the officer’s ear. Police were called to the Pauline Apartments in the area of First South and Third East to investigate a suspicious person who Leon Dane Hall was knocking on doors around midnight. According to a probable cause statement, Officer Conrad Leong approached Hall, who refused to identify himself. Leong asked if Hall was high, to which Hall responded, “I wish.” Hall reached into his pockets and Leong told him to show his hands and grabbed at his arm. Officer Dennis Bang arrived to assist and both officers attempted to take Hall into custody. “Hall resisted and yelled at the officers to stop touching him,” the statement reads. As the officers tried to push Hall toward the car, Hall began swinging at the officers and yelling “stop” and “help,” according to the statement. Bang grabbed Hall’s upper torso and Leong began hitting Hall with a baton on the legs. The officerss were able to get Hall to the ground, at which point, Leong noticed the ornament in Hall’s hand, according to the statement. Hall swung and hit Bang in the head, partially severing his ear lobe, and attempted to hit Leong, the statement reads. “Officer Bang sustained two gashes to his

Q mmunity SAGE Arts & Crafts potluck SAGE Utah, geared toward senior LGBT people, will be showcasing members’ arts & crafts at a potluck event The will provide beverages and tables where you can display your work. They ask for you to bring easels, as no hanging of art on the wall is allowed. Names beginning with O–Z: Main Dish, H–N: Side Dish/Salad, A–G: Dessert WHEN: Saturday, Mar 12, 5–7pm WHERE: First Unitarian Church of Salt

head, one of which severed the lower portion of his ear,” the statement reads. Both Bang and Hall were taken to the hospital by ambulance. The officer’s ear was re-attached by medical personnel and police say he will make a full recovery. Hall was treated at the hospital and booked into Salt Lake County Jail. Hall was charged with two counts of assault on a police officer, a second-degree felony and interference with an arresting officer, a class B misdemeanor. Hall was charged with two counts of assault on a police officer, a second-degree felony and interference with arresting officer, a class B misdemeanor. Hall’s mother, Fran Baca, says Hall was in the neighborhood trying to give the stained glass ornament to a family friend. Hall’s brother, Eli Hall, says that Leon has not been the same since his 2011 assault. In Aug. 2011, Leon said he was attacked outside Club Sound as his assailants yelled anti-gay slurs. He said his head was held to the ground and he was stomped on, breaking his jaw and loosening several teeth. No one was ever arrested in the assault, and some speculate the attack was drug-related rather than a hate crime. Eli posted on Facebook, saying that while what Leon did last month was wrong, but that jail is not where his brother belongs: “Whatever happened is not as important as the fact that Leon has never been even remotely the same after being severely gay bashed a few years back. For those of you who personally know him, I’m sure you’re aware that he has serious brain damage after that brutal beating and has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He needs mental help, not jail time,” Eli wrote. Q

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Third Friday Bingo at First Baptist The Matrons of Mayhem return to First Baptist Church for Third Friday Bingo. Come early to get a good seat. This month’s charity is a crowd favorite: Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue. WHEN: Fri. Feb 19, 7pm WHERE: First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E COST: $5 first card, $3/addl INFO: facebook.com/matronsofmayhem.slc

Alternative Garden Club is pruning the roses Elise Hutchings, president of the Utah Rose Society, will be giving a demonstration on how to prune roses at the monthly meeting of the Alternative Garden Club on March 2. “These beautiful but temperamental shrubs require special care,” says club member Geoff Ellis. “And this will be an opportunity to have your questions answered by a real expert.” The club meets the first Wednesday of each month at 7:30 p.m. in the Garden Center at the northeast corner of Sugar House Park. The Alternative Garden Club was founded in the early 1980s as a welcoming place for members of the LGBT community, as an “alternative” to some of the more conservative garden clubs who were less than welcoming to LGBT community. Today, the club continues to function as a fun social group for LGBT people and their allies who are interested in gardening, landscaping and growing things. Meeting topics have ranged from new tomatoes to historic landscaping to chickens and beekeeping. Potlucks and special garden tours are also held from time to time. Membership in the Alternative Garden Club is $20 per year, but guests are always free to come attend a meeting to see whether they might like to join. For more information, join their Facebook page at bit.ly/altgarden or e-mail altgardenclub@gmail.com.

Group says ‘GetOUTside’ It’s cold outside Utah in the winter and there’s one group, Get OUTside, that couldn’t be happier. Get OUTside plans two or three events each month, rain, shine, snow or cold. Organized a year ago by Jeffrey Wood and Ryan Derrick, the group now has 500 friends on Facebook. “When we first had the idea of starting a group, we wanted to create a forum where outdoor loving people could find others to share in outdoor adventures,” said Derrick. He says everyone is welcome to join the group and participate in events. “We encourage members to plan events and share them with the group, encouraging new friends to participate in an outdoor adventure.” Membership is free. Go to bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah and request to be added to the group.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

Drug addiction program specifically for LGBT clients starting in Salt Lake Michael Loosle was the guy to whom his friends would sing, “They tried to make me go to rehab but I said, ‘No, no, no.’” So he got new friends. His new friends did an intervention in the bathroom of the Trapp as he was doing cocaine, saying he needed to “cool it” on the drinking. “I was no longer fun to be around,” he said. “I was more of a liability.” But Loosle didn’t want to start going into any kind of treatment, because that would mean the end of his social life. He’d have to give up all of his vices, including alcohol. He didn’t want to be “The Sober One” among his friends. He also had little faith in Alcoholics Anonymous, saying that while the 12-step program works for many, it’s not for everyone. In fact, few in the LGBT community can relate to all of the tenets of AA, especially those wrapped around a higher being. “AA is based around a male, Catholic perspective,” he said. “The ‘Big Book’ hasn’t been updated in decades.” “To this community, Christianity is a trigger that can cause relapse,” he explains, as many have been hurt by religion. Further, he says the belief that one must engage in “blanket abstinence” — giving up all drugs and alcohol — is simply not true. The problem drug is what needs to be dealt with. “There is a sense of community when you go to a bar,” he said. Loosle found a treatment program and decide that is where his life focus needed to be — helping others like him find a path to a healthy life, as he’s had for six years through a combination of therapy, support groups and other traditional and nontraditional methods. Somehow he found the husband-andwife team Leah and Sean Steele-Barnett of Omega Wellness Institute. Sean has also been in recovery since 2012. They brought him on as a partner in the LGBT-focused track of their business. Leah says they had been searching for years for the right people to bring this dream to life. “I wouldn’t be surprised if in a year, this isn’t all we are doing,” Leah said of the LGBT-specific intensive program. They chose the name Lambda Pride for the program because of the many meanings the word Lambda has had through history, especially in the gay movement. “We chose the name Lambda because of its rich history and meaning,” Sean said. “It

was on the shields of the Spartans. The letter L stands for ‘liberation.’ The Greeks said it stood for ‘unity.’ The Romans took it to mean ‘the light of knowledge shining into the dark of ignorance.’ The gay community took it on in the 70s as the symbol of a movement.” The three knew they needed one more piece to the puzzle — a clinical director that was the right fit. It took years, but they wanted just the right person. Along comes Joshua Bytendorp. Bytendorp is a Salt Lake native who was on the leadership committee of the Utah AIDS Foundation for years. He left to go to Goddard College in Vermont for a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, as it is the only university in the country with a specific Sexual Orientation Concentration program. He came on as a founder and part owner of Lambda Pride in November. “What is unique to this program is that both directors are gay, both are part owners, we are more than gay affirming, we are gay, and we are educating all staff on every nuance of how they treat people who are LGBT,” Bytendorp said.

Oaks addresses suicide in the LDS Church

In a presentation at Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Apostles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, took questions from the audience after his speech on “The Free Exercise of Religion in Our Time.” The final question of the evening was asked by Andrew Evans about what he calls a suicide crisis in the church. “Less than a year ago, right here in Washington, DC, my friend killed himself. He was Mormon and gay. You’ve gone on record that the church does not give apologies. Does religious freedom absolve you from responsibility in the gay Mormon suicide crisis?” asked Andrew Evans. Oaks answered, “I think that’s a question that will be answered on judgment day. I can’t answer that beyond what has already been said. I know that those tragic events happen.

He talks about how the LGBT community has a higher rate of substance abuse, but are far less likely to try to stop. “According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, three to 10 percent of heterosexuals are heavy drinkers. Twenty-five percent of gay people are heavy drinkers. To us it’s different. Alcohol is a part of our community,” he said. He went on to say that our community doesn’t see such behavior as negative, until it becomes a larger problem. “We need to address all of the feelings around sexual orientation before we can treat addiction,” Bytendorp said. “From outward and inward homophobia to gender issues. Our issues that caused an addiction problem are different and need to be openly addressed.” That openness is what can be lacking in other treatment options. “Sex is a large element of many of our addiction issues,” said Loosle. “No one in AA talks about gay sex.” The program is a rarity in the U.S. Only 10 programs that are entirely based around the LGBT community exist in the country. The others are all in large coastal cities. Q Find more about the Lambda Pride program of Omega Wellness on their website (still being developed) at lambdapride.life or Facebook page at fb.me/ lambdaprideprogram or by calling 801-359-0903.

“And it’s not unique simply to the question of sexual preference. There are other cases where people have taken their own lives and blamed a church-my church-or a government, or somebody else for their taking their own lives, and I think those things have to be judged by a higher authority than exists on this earth. “And I am ready to be accountable to that authority, but I think part of what my responsibility extends to, is trying to teach people to be loving, and civil and sensitive to one another so that people will not feel driven, whatever the policy disagreements, whatever the rules of the church, or the practices of a church, or any other organization, if they are administered with kindness, at the highest level or at the level of the congregation or the ward, they won’t drive people to take those extreme measures. “That’s part of my responsibility to teach that. And beyond that, I will be accountable to higher authority for that. That’s the way I look on that. Nobody is sadder about a case like that than I am. Maybe that’s a good note to end on.” Q

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

Quotes from Justice Anton Scalia through the years:

“

[S]uppose all the States had laws against flagpole sitting at one time, you know, there was a time when it was a popular thing and probably annoyed a lot of communities, and then almost all of them repealed those laws,” Scalia asked the attorney fighting the Texas law. “Does that make flagpole sitting a fundamental right?”

“ “

—Lawrence v. Texas

Many Americans do not want persons who openly engage in homosexual conduct as partners in their business, as scoutmasters for their children, as teachers in their children’s schools, or as boarders in their home.” —Lawrence v. Texas

But I had thought that one could consider certain conduct reprehensible — murder, for example, or polygamy, or cruelty to animals — and could exhibit even ‘animus’ toward such conduct. Surely that is the only sort of ‘animus’ at issue here: moral disapproval of homosexual conduct.

“

—Romer v. Evans

“Men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, are all subject to [Texas’] prohibition of deviate sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex.” —Lawrence v. Texas

views

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

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march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

who’s your daddy? Winner

2013, 2014, 2015 Fabby Awards

Then comes marriage

“Best Chiropractic Clinic”

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Kathy

“This message that being in a relationship is the expected path is a constant conversation in the world around us,” Sovec told me. “The construct that is supported by popular social media, movies, books and television is that everyone should be in a relationship and if they are not, there is something woefully wrong with them. This is the life-path story that we have witnessed since we were small children, and even as gay men it was sold to us. Finding a good job, buying a house and being in a relationship were injected into our brains as the pinnacle of success.” But gay men in particular never really tried to emulate that social norm. Indeed, Kelly and I always stood out because of our longevity. It was that old joke: we’ve been together for 27 years, which is 140 in gay years. But Sovec explained, “Many gay men have spent a lifetime feeling like an outsider, especially when it comes to recognition of their relationships. Weddings used to be the bastion of the straight world and as a gay man, one’s duty was to dress well, be charming and dance with the single drunk aunt.” But the Supreme Court changed all that by ushering in marriage equality. “Now that marriage is available, many people are looking at it as a way to legitimatize and normalize their relationship experience. It's safer and more secure to be part of a norm than to feel like an outsider.” So that’s it: we’re getting married to be part of the norm. It’s all conditioning. Who knows, maybe because we’ve been on the outside of those wedding shops so long, and now that we have the right to marry, we just have to go in. Q You can reach John Sovec at JohnSovec.com

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and Jim were the neighbors in the flat above us when we lived in San Francisco. When she was in her 50s, Kathy decided to change careers. To pay for paralegal school, she worked at a well-known wedding shop on Van Ness. On the weekends she would regale us with stories of crazy brides, crazier mothers, and flustered grooms-to-be. To hear her tell it, getting married was hardly worth the effort. But for years gay men and lesbian women worked hard for the right to get frazzled in some highend wedding shop filled with silk, taffeta and tulle for miles. But why? What was it about the right to get married that caused us to fight so hard for it? Kelly and I readily admit that we got married for the sake of the kids – just like a couple of teenagers who went a little far in the back of a Chevy. For us it was about the legal protections marriage afforded our kids. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the hooligans, I’m not sure today we’d be Mr. and Mr. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. We do. Most days a lot. We didn’t need a piece of paper to tell us that. Nor did we ever really care what polite society thought about us shacking up. So beyond the myriad of benefits that come with marriage, or in our case the kids, why in the world do gay people get married? I put the question to marriage experts. For the most part, they gave me shallow platitudes about being like everyone else and how love is just love. I even had one person suggest that gay people want to get married as a sacred commitment to God. But Pasadena, California-based psychotherapist John Sovec offered up a different opinion.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

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I’ve never been there in person, Liberty Ridge Farm looks like a beautiful place according to the photos on their website. Lush green grass, handsome horses and goats, a rainbow of various flowers, hearty corn stalks taller than your head. It’s the kind of place a couple looking to get married might want to hold their event. And Liberty Ridge Farm offers that experience. “Panoramic views, beautiful barns, and acres of picturesque countryside makes Liberty Ridge Farm an ideal location for those bridal couples looking for country rustic charm,” their website reads. To be clear, though, you can’t get married there. Your vows have to happen somewhere else. But you can reception there all you want. That’s because in 2012 a lesbian couple, Jennifer and Melisa McCarthy wanted to have their wedding at Liberty Ridge. And Liberty Ridge said, “Uh, no thanks. That’s gross. Because God.” So the McCarthys sued. And the law was on their side. It took a couple of years, but they won. According to the ACLU, “As the New York State Division of Human Rights ruled in 2014, under New York’s Human Rights Law, public businesses cannot discriminate on the basis of race, sexual orientation, national origin or other protected classes.” Not satisfied with that ruling, the owners of Liberty Ridge Farms, Robert and Cynthia Gifford, appealed, saying they weren’t discriminating based on sexual orientation, they were just making a decision “based solely upon the Giffords’ religious beliefs regarding same-sex marriage,” according to ThinkProgress. See the difference? “Hey judge, it isn’t about their sexual orientation, it’s about our religious

belief about marriage. Granted, our belief just happens to hinge on the sexual orientation of the people getting married, but that’s a minor technicality, right?” Wrong. They lost again. On Jan. 15 the appeals court ruled that the Giffords were in the wrong and that their argument was bullshit. That doesn’t mean it’s over, of course. According to their lawyer, Caleb Dalton of the anti-gay Alliance Defending Freedom, “The government went after both this couple’s freedom and their ability to make a living simply for adhering to their faith on their own property. The court should have rejected this unwarranted and unconstitutional government intrusion, so we will consult with our client regarding appeal.” The headline on the ADF’s press release is very revealing: “NY court: Farmers can’t obey their faith in their own backyard.” According to ADF, when the McCarthy’s first called about using Liberty Ridge Farm for their wedding, “Cynthia politely told McCarthy that she and her husband don’t host and coordinate same-sex ceremonies but left open an invitation to visit the farm to consider it as a potential reception site. Instead, McCarthy and her partner filed a complaint with the Division of Human Rights.” What? They filed a complaint? But Cynthia Gifford was polite! How dare they! Make no mistake that this case will ramp up efforts across the country to pass so-called “religious freedom” laws. The anti-gay right has gotten quite used to discriminating for any reason with impunity. Now that LGBT people are winning more civil rights, the anti-gay wing is doubling down on legislation that declared discrimination against LGBT people a “religious freedom.” Q

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

lambda lore

Utah’s always had queer marriage BY BEN WILLIAMS

Utah always

was queer about marriage, ever since the City of the Saints was founded by Brigham Young and his concubines ... err, wives. The leadership of the Mormon Church nevertheless kept the practice of polygamy on the down low for five years. The fact that the Christian institution of marriage, between a man and a woman, had been broaden to include a man and just about any number of women a man could coerce into marrying him was not widely known for nearly 10 years after Joseph Smith received permission to screw at will. Not until 1852 did Brother Brigham make it official when he announced to the world that, yes indeed folks, Mormon men are boinking more than one woman. Thus, in one sweeping announcement, Brigham Young made a liar out of the hundreds of missionaries abroad in the Mission field swearing up and down that Mormon’s were monogamous. Now that the secret was out in the open and the jig was up, for the next 40 years Mormon leaders sung the praises of female concubinage while denouncing the absolute horrors of monogamy. Brother Brigham spouted in 1862, “Monogamy, or restrictions by law to one wife, is no part of the economy of heaven among men. Such a system was commenced by the founders of the Roman Empire. Rome became the mistress of the world, and introduced this order of monogamy wherever her sway was acknowledged. Thus this monogamic order of marriage, so esteemed by modern Christians as a holy sacrament and divine institution, is nothing but a system established by a set of robbers.” Mormon Apostle Orson Pratt also added his two cents claiming, “this law of monogamy, or the monogamic system, laid the foundation for prostitution and the evils and diseases of the most revolting nature and character under which modern Christendom groans.” However, my favorite pronouncement of the evils of monogamy is from John Taylor, 3rd Prophet Seer and Revelator of

the Mormon Church who chimed in, “the one-wife system not only degenerates the human family, both physically and intellectually, but it is entirely incompatible with philosophical notions of immortality; it is a lure to temptation, and has always proved a curse to a people.” Well that is all right and good living 500 miles from decent society, but when a national political party is founded on the premise that slavery and polygamy are the twin relics of barbarism, and after said political party had beaten the crap out of half the country over slavery, one starts to sing a different tune when the Grand Old Party turn its sights in your direction. Here comes the judge, here comes the judge, the federal judge who sent Mormon polygamists into hiding or into prison cells for cohabitating. Mormons wailed they were only obeying God. Blame God not me! However, Republicans turned a deaf ear and said: “No statehood for you.” Mormons very much wanted to become a state and get the feds off their ass. So they did the sensible thing to become a state. They lied. Yes, they said they would end the practice of plural marriage in 1890. Even said it was a manifesto, but in reality they were just kidding and they just kept on marrying and marrying as many women as they could convince that it was God’s will to boink. “Its for the children!” “Think of the children!” Who could resist when you put it like that? Well, finally after trying to push a Mormon Apostle into the United States Senate with no luck because the opposition was calling Mormons “liars pants on fire” over this plural wife thing-y, President Joseph F. Smith issued a second manifesto in 1904 saying they really mean it this time. And “It was an honest mistake.” So, as the old Mormon broads, I mean venerable pioneers, died off, polygamy in Utah buckled under for the evils of monogamy. President Heber J. Grant was the very last polygamist prophet to head the church, but lucky for the PR department, Heber only had one wife still hanging around when he assumed the Church Presidency in 1919, the other two had conveniently dropped dead. So about mid 20th century Mormons went full steam ahead on main streaming into American monogamous society and they jettison the eternal principle of spiritual wifery. They even went after their

former polygamist relatives, treating them like unwanted bastard stepchildren. Mormons were now All-American as apple pie now in the matrimony department, except for this simple codicil ‘no mixing of the races.’ No Brown Sugar for the Priesthood. Nary a single solitary drop of Negro blood can be allowed in the Temple, No M’am, uhuh, no sirree. The reason for this was quite reasonable because, you see, back in those days God was still a bigot. Brother Brigham said in 1852, “Any man having one drop of the seed of [Cain] ... in him cannot hold the priesthood and if no other Prophet ever spake it before I will say it now in the name of Jesus Christ I know it is true and others know it.” A hundred years later in 1952 the Mormon Apostle Mark E. Petersen piled on adding more ethnicities to the mix. “What is our advice with respect to intermarriage with Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiians and so on? I will tell you what advice I give personally. If a boy or girl comes to me claiming to be in love with a Chinese or Japanese or a Hawaiian or a person of any other dark race, I do my best to talk them out of it. I tell them that I think the Hawaiians should marry Hawaiians, the Japanese ought to marry Japanese, and the Chinese ought to marry Chinese, and the Caucasians should marry Caucasians ... I teach against inter-marriage of all kinds.” Well, Elder Petersen and whole lot of other folks looked kind of foolish when President Spencer Kimball did them a mean trick and pulled bigotry right out from under their feet in 1978. But not to worry, there was a new boogeyman threat emerging just in time to fill the void … homosexuals! Homosexuals who want to get married. In Utah! Horror! On Jan. 6 1976, two lesbians marched into the County Clerk office and asked for a marriage license. Flabbergasted, the clerk referred the women to the Salt Lake County attorney office for a judgement on whether they could get a license. Unfortunately this was 1976 and the pair declined to take the matter further, however the Salt Lake Tribune got wind of the story and wrote an opinion stating, “Two women who had applied for a marriage license in Salt Lake County probably should have been issued one, according to Utah law.” Whoops! In 1976, Utah did not specifically prohibit marriage between members of the

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

same sex according to a spokesperson in the Salt Lake County Attorney office. Well something had to be done about that. In June 1977, “GAY MARRIAGES BANNED IN UTAH” screamed from the headlines! The ban was placed in a bill clarifying ambiguous language in the marriage statutes over legal age for matrimony. Someone had pointed out to Governor Scott Matheson that, you know, nothing in state law says marriage has to be between a man and a woman. Holy Cow! Queers could marry other perverts?! Thus, the righteous Rep. Roger Livingston, R-Sandy, quietly and discreetly inserted into HB 3 language prohibiting marriage “between persons of the same sex.” There, that nasty business was taken care of. Gay marriage was so odious that the prohibition language went virtually undiscussed among

the lawmakers. When asked later, some legislators said they knew about “the controversial nature of such a proposal” but some things are “better left unsaid.” Indeed! Nasty business this queer stuff. However, less we forget our hero, a brave, feminist, pro-ERA Sen., Frances Farley, D-Salt Lake City, who objected. She moved to eliminate the language barring marriage between persons of the same sex. Can you believe it? Her motion did fail of course, and the bill passed on a 20–2 vote with just one other Sen., Arthur Kimball, D-Salt Lake City, joining Farley in the opposition. Sen. Carl E. Peterson, D-Magna, speaking for the majority spoke against Farley’s motion proudly stating the ban on homosexual marriage is what “we in the state believe in.” Indeed. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

LaVar Christensen should be stripped of chairmanship BY CURTIS HARING

For more

than a decade I have closely followed the Utah State Legislature. In that time I have heard offensive comments about babies being black or comments wondering when rape is actually rape. I have heard stupid comments about how it is okay to shoot a cat if you think it is feral or that there is no problem drinking raw milk, even if it has green film on the surface. I have heard the twisting of words to push particular interests, backpedaling, doubling down, and grand naivete. But never have I heard someone display as much disregard and disrespect for the legislative body and the legislative process as Rep. LaVar Christensen (R–Draper) showed Feb. 12 while acting in his role as Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee. The topic at hand was HB 234 – Adoptive and Foster Parents Amendments from Rep.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Angela Romero (D–Salt Lake). The bill itself is straightforward: a reaction to the Obergefell v. Hodges decision by the Supreme Court last year. Now that same-sex marriage is the law of the land, Utah (along with many other states) has to change various aspects of state code in order to be in compliance with the 14th Amendment’s equal protection clause. Since Utah specifically constructed laws to say that marriage is only between a “man and a woman” and that only married couples have certain rights under the law (such as the adoption laws Romero is looking to change), Utah needs to update its code in order to not be in violation of the Supreme Court’s ruling. But Christensen, a staunch opponent of all things homosexual, had a chip on his shoulder so large that it could be seen from his district in Draper despite the winter inversion. There was no way Christensen couldn’t have come in ready to fight. His 2004 bill, HJR 25 — Joint Resolution on Marriage, led to the Utah Constitutional ban on same-sex marriage — a ban that was the cause of the Kitchen v. Herbert ruling against the state; a ruling against the state that was widely seen as a watershed moment nationally for samesex marriage. Utah, yes Utah, was performing same-sex marriages in December of 2014. Six months later same-sex marriages would be the law of the land based on the rights granted to the Supreme Court in the Constitution. Yes, in a twist of fate so ironic that not even the best Greek playwrights could have imagined it, same-sex marriage came about in no small part because of LaVar Christensen. But we have seen huffing and puffing before. What makes Christensen’s actions so abhorrent to make me call for him to be stripped of his chairmanship? Because there is a clear and important distinction between the offensive, stupid, or “interesting” comments made by lawmakers noted above and the comments made by Christensen as chair of one of the most powerful committees in Utah government. During the hearing, Christensen badgered department heads, shouted down his fellow representatives, and gave a clear preference to members of the audience who supported his viewpoint. This is different than the above where each of the offensive, stupid, or “interesting” comment took place within the legislative framework — a framework of fairness that holds at its core the idea and ideal of representation. Every lawmaker, no matter how stupid the comment may be, is allowed (and

should be allowed) to speak and be heard. Why? Because they are speaking as the voice of the people who elected them into office. Even the most offensive comments must be allowed in our representative democracy so that conversations can be had and the marketplace of ideas become richer. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the voice of the people deserve to receive equal representation — particularly during a committee hearing. This allows lawmakers to make a well-thought decision prior to voting and allows the public an opportunity to petition their government. In all my years of listening to committee hearings I cannot recall a time where a chair didn’t ask prior to public comment who was for or against a bill so that both sides can clearly be heard. On this day, Christensen not only failed to do this, but also stacked the comments: one for the bill, three against – in that order. There is no excuse for this. Even the most passive observer of the legislature knows where Gayle Ruzicka fell on the bill long before she stepped up to the microphone, yet she followed someone who was opposed. Furthermore, Ruzicka was followed by a third opponent who Christensen, either through incompetence or malice, did not bother to ask where the member of the public stood. At each and every step, Christensen interfered with the legislative process and actively obstructed the voice of the people. He ruled motions out of order that were proper, he disregarded points of order, he prevented department heads from stating their facts, he showed clear bias towards his worldview, and he did it all with a venom that degrades the integrity of the legislative process. This is conduct unbecoming of any lawmaker, let alone the chairman of a committee, let alone the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee. Anyone who respects and honors the legislative process — Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative — should be appalled by Christensen’s actions. It shows a fundamental disrespect for the process, a fundamental disregard for the people, and a fundamental abuse of power. If Christensen is unwilling to apologize for his actions and rectify the situation immediately, it is abundantly clear that he is unfit to serve in that capacity and should be removed from any form of leadership immediately. Shame on you, LaVar Christensen. Q Curtis Haring is the editor in chief of Utah Political Capitol at utahpoliticalcapitol.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

How can we make LGBT events more accessible for people with autism? BY GWEN GREENWOOD

I’ve recently

oticed the majority of autistic n people I meet identify as gay or bisexual. LGBT+ people with a diagnosis of autism are rarely depicted in books, films and the media, mostly because audiences find it hard to stomach more than one deviation from the norm. But in reality, we’re everywhere. In Women and Girls With Autism Spectrum Disorder, Sarah Hendrickx states that “women with autism have a greater propensity to be asexual, gay or bisexual than would be expected of the NT [neurotypical] population. Women with autism specifically are found to show a significantly lower degree of heterosexuality when compared to males with ASD.” Whatever the percentages are, it’s clear that a great many people who identify as LGBT+ also have autism. Perhaps it’s a total coincidence. But, for a variety of social and sensory reasons, people on the autism spectrum often feel unable to attend Gay Pride and LGBT+ events. I came out as a teenager, and I found the whole gay thing much easier to deal with than my diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, mainly because of the plethora of “honorary lesbian aunties” that are part of my Mom’s social circle. I’d been raised in a very loving, but very small bubble of tolerance. I went to my university’s LGBT+ group a few times and enjoyed it. But the sensory stuff was too much. Too much noise, too much light, too much uncertainty and far too many unfamiliar faces. I stopped attending the group, just as I’d stopped attending other LGBT+ events a few months earlier. I’d love to have that sense of visibility back. But recently my sensory issues have gotten so out of hand that

a Pride parade would be hell for me. The eye contact from strangers would immediately trigger a fight or flight response. Still… avoiding things you care passionately about can be both disheartening and lonely. Since a significant amount of the LGBT+ population has autism, something needs to change to make LGBT+ events accessible to us. The following are ideas that would make it easier for me to attend LGBT+ events and groups. 1) BRING THE VOLUME DOWN People who attend LGBT+ specific events often have loud voices and strong opinions. They’ve probably dealt with homophobia and discrimination on a daily basis. To go through all that and keep smiling, you need to have unshakable confidence in yourself. Confidence is a wonderful thing, but to someone with a social awareness and communication disability, it can be quite daunting, especially if we’re meeting you for the first time. 2) GAIN FAMILIARITY If an autistic person is nervous about joining your local LGBT+ group, why not introduce them to a couple of the group’s members over coffee? If they feel it’s necessary, you could go over strategies they think will help them feel relaxed and included. Just being introduced to one or two members before facing a large unknown group of people can reduce the anxiety for someone with autism. 3) MORE STRUCTURE, LESS SMALL TALK Most people with autism can talk for hours about a special interest and express ourselves eloquently through the written word. But when it comes to small talk… well, we suck at it, and would benefit from more structure and less open conversation at LGBT+ groups. Is there a specific issue the group wants to discuss? Autistic people love

structure. It helps us with communication and makes us feel relaxed and safe. 4) INCLUDE SENSORY SAFE ZONES A sensory safe zone is a private area with low lighting and minimal noise where autistic people can go when sensory overload get too much for them at social gatherings. If LGBT+ venues and events contained safe zones, autistic people would be more likely to attend and could stay for longer. Knowing there’s somewhere quiet for me to go to reduces my anxiety, so I’m less

likely to go into overload. I wondered about creating groups specifically for LGBT+ people with disabilities. While that could be positive in some ways, it seems like another way to marginalize/isolate people like me, when what I really want is for us feel more included. There is a place for autistic people inside the LGBT+ movement, not outside of it. Q Gwen Greenwood is a 21-year-old Aspie who received funding to form Seeing Double, a social enterprise for autism awareness. More at: seeingdoubleautismawareness.com

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THEN COMES MARRIAGE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

A Wedding 20 Years in the Making BY RACHEL YOUNG AND AMY PORTER

Amy and I

have been together since we graduated high school, through ups and downs, togetherness and separation, learning, growing, and loving each other the best we know how. There were a couple of times that we had a chance to run out and get married — when San Francisco briefly began issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples, when it became legal in Massachusetts, etc. — but all of those times were bound to end

up in court, and I was so afraid that losing that right, after the brief moment of feeling respected and equal to every other couple, would tear me apart. So I never went along with it, knowing that those marriages would be challenged. Then eight and a half years ago, Amy and I were expecting our first children. Twins! Both boys, and our lives we knew would change forever. As a babymoon, and in an effort to provide our family the legal legitimacy we craved, Amy and I took a vacation to British Columbia and were legally married by the Canadians. Our own country and state still didn’t recognize this union, but it felt so important for us. We had a small ceremony, and not wanting to inconvenience family or friends, we only invited our moms to join us in Canada for the ceremony. We didn’t put a lot of planning into it, and we didn’t feel like it was our dream wedding. We didn’t have the blessing and company of family and friends, and while it was a huge step for us, it still felt a little empty. I promised that I would do it all PHOTOS: FARNER PHOTOGRAPHY

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THEN COMES MARRIAGE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

over again, the big wedding we never had, with everyone we loved around us, when it was finally legal in our own country. Amy liked that idea too, but we didn’t think much of it as we continued our normal lives, working, raising a new family, and trying to make ends meet. Then came a tide of change. It seemed that when we first envisioned the big wedding we would have some day, we imagined our grown children pushing us down the aisle, elderly women in wheel chairs. But we were overwhelmed with joy when we were dancing in the streets with our 7-yearold twins, and their 2-year-old baby brother that had joined our

family since that first wedding. While marriage equality hadn’t yet become the law of the land for the whole of the United States, it had become law in our resident state of Nevada, as well as our home state of Utah, just the day before! And the federal government recognized our Canadian marriage certificate and had begun granting us the same rights and responsibilities as any other normal married opposite-sex couple. I asked Amy to marry me all over again, and we started planning the perfect event.

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We decided to bring our big gay wedding back to our home state of Utah where most of our family still resides, and we would celebrate 20 years of commitment and marriage equality with a vow renewal and reception. The hardest and most fun part of planning our wedding was that there were really no rules or traditions to follow. We were really excited to be incorporating our children into the day, and the possibilities were endless. But with endless possibilities come endless decisions. We were fortunate enough to be able to have our wedding at our ideal Salt Lake City venue, RED BUTTE GARDENS. We take our children there when we visit Salt Lake City, Utah, and the grounds are just amazing. The views and other accommodations are ideal for us as well, with our love of the mountains and nature. We knew we wanted an outdoor wedding, and Red Butte Gardens did not disappoint. We also loved that the gardens themselves were the wedding décor, and we needed very little extra to make the space feel magical.

PHOTOS: FARNER PHOTOGRAPHY

In planning for this day, I found vendors whom I trusted, and instead of trying to tell them exactly what I thought I wanted them to do, I would tell them that they were the expert, use their expertise to make everything amazing! We didn’t plan every minute of the event, and while we didn’t get to everything we might have liked to, we weren’t stressing about time, or trying to fit too much in. We were able to have conversation with our guests (and some selfies), and let the evening progress in its own way. One of the greatest assets on our wedding day was having chosen FARNER PHOTOGRAPHY right from the beginning of our planning. I could tell upon our initial interview that we were on the same wavelength. It was so very critical for me, in bringing my wedding to Utah, that we choose exactly the right photographer, and the photographer was the vendor I started searching for first. I knew that we needed someone who honestly believed in marriage equality and wanted to celebrate our love with us, because I was so afraid of having pictures of Amy and I posed as though we were siblings, not spouses. I wanted to feel natural and comfortable in our photos, and I wanted our photographer to see and capture our moments without any personal hesitations or judgements. Rachel and Michael Farner are compassionate, kind, sensitive, professional, and knowledgeable. Rachel’s skills with the camera and post-editing are exceptional, and the lengths Michael is willing to go to help her catch the perfect shot are commendable, the two of them make a great team. . My hair stylist, KEARA WRIGHT, did a fantastic job creating a natural and elegant look that lasted all day. For my flowers, I chose a florist who specializes in succulents, and asked her to make my bouquet, boutonnieres, and a hair piece for me — SUCCULENT SOLUTIONS. Other than expressing colors I wasn’t so fond of, I asked her to surprise me, and she did an amazing job. For our ceremony we asked friends to say a few words about us, and gave them very little guidelines. They were able to speak from the heart, and it was wonderful to hear what they chose to say. We also chose our dinner menu with our children (and ourselves!) in mind, and opted for a gourmet grilled cheese bar. Standard white bread and cheddar were available, but for the more sophisticated

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

guests we also had more sophisticated cheeses and toppings available. The food from LE CROISSANT CATERING was amazing, and everything from the sandwiches to the creamy tomato soup and heirloom salad got rave reviews from our guests. We wanted to incorporate our kids’ sense of fun and whimsy into our day, so we added songs to our play list that we knew our kids would love, just a few here and there from the soundtracks of their favorite movies, and we created a kids table covered with butcher paper, and provided crayons, mad-libs books, glow sticks, and finger puppets entertain the younger crowd. For the cake, we showed our baker — SALT CAKE CITY — some album cover art from music we loved, and she found a way to interpret it in cake, as well as include our kids with a Lego cake, our substitution for the groom’s cake. We are lucky to have some amazingly talented friends who gifted us ice sculptures for the event (thank you SWANOVATIONS CUSTOM ICE SCULPTURES). They did a large piece for the buffet as well as centerpieces for the tables. . I am so glad that we took the time and resources to create the perfect wedding we always wanted. Amy and I were able to renew our love and refresh our commitment to each other, and we finally felt the unconditional love and support from family and friends that brings everyone closer together. It was an amazing party and I highly recommend everyone do it all over again… the second time around can be exactly what you want it to be! Q

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

THEN COMES MARRIAGE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

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Seeking Exhibitors and Sponsors Since same-sex marriage became legal, the wedding industry has seen a new explosion in weddings, to the tune of $2.7 billion in new annual spending. We’ve all heard stories of vendors not willing to participate in same-sex weddings. This is YOUR chance to say “YES, WE WILL.” Tell Utah’s gay and lesbian community you welcome them. We have several levels you can participate, all of which include advertising in Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally magazine QSaltLake, our directory, the QPages, as well as a listing on UtahGayWeddings.com.

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THEN COMES MARRIAGE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Get on track. Stay on track. #ontrack Laura A Roberts, CFP®, AAMS® Financial Advisor

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heard the horror stories of samesex couples trying to put together a wedding, and a photographer or cake maker or venue refuses them once they find out it is a same-sex marriage. They claim religious exemptions, yet samesex couples seemed singled out over other wedding with biblical issues. The calls are for boycotts, which fire up both sides, and the bigoted business owners make a ton of money from the extreme right through crowdfunding appeals. Why go through the hassle? We are putting together vendors who would LOVE to participate in your samesex wedding, reception and honeymoon. QSaltLake hosts a

site called UtahGayWeddings. com and is now about to put on its second Gay and Lesbian Wedding Expo at the Eventos Reception Center at 3485 S Main Street in Salt Lake City. “We are firm believers in avoiding boycotts, in favor of the buycott — supporting those who support us,” says QSaltLake and QPages publisher Michael Aaron. “I would rather spend my hard-earned money on those who support me and my relationship.” The expo will take place Sunday, March 6 from noon to 4pm. Tickets are available through UtahGayWeddingExpo.com for $5, or $7 at the door. Exhibitors and sponsors are being sought now. Those interested can call 801-6496663.

TYING THE KNOT? Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve. BROUGHT TO YOU BY QSALTLAKE

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

THEN COMES MARRIAGE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

mr. manners Get the right person to perform your wedding ceremony BY ROCK MAGEN

Marriage

is a wonderful thing. As we take some time in March to focus on Weddings, I am sure that the thoughts of most couples are centered in the wardrobe and all the particulars of the wedding and celebration afterward. The ceremony is an opportunity to focus on the couple, and find a way that those in attendance can be reminded of the commitment and love the couple has for each other. There are so many different types of ceremonies it is hard to determine where to start. Choosing the officiate who will preside over the ceremony is something every couple must think about. Getting someone to perform a gay wedding doesn’t have to be difficult, however it’s something to consider early. The officiate can make or break the ceremony. To find the right officiate for a gay wedding ceremony, one only has to look at the faith of the couple before venturing forth. Couples might have to do a search to find the right officiate, and the ceremony will not necessarily be “orthodox,”but it will be a ceremony to remember

for the couple. For those couples who don’t subscribe to a single religion, have differing faiths, or are not religious at all, you can always ask a close friend or family member to officiate. There are many ways for people to become “certified” to perform marriages. I have friends who have undergone formal courses and others who have received online certification, but either way they are certified to perform the ceremony. I personally think that it adds something special to the ceremony to have either a friend or relative perform the ceremony. The ceremony is a change to tell the story of the couple, and having the right story teller is always key. The best thing about gay weddings is that you are allowed or have the ceremony in any way which you prefer. It can be a truly formal affair or something avant garde. The only rule of thumb is that you keep it special for the couple being married. So, go forth and enjoy your happy day, making sure you find the right person to “seal the deal” and send you on your way as a new couple.

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28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

The Gay Agenda BY TONY HOBDAY

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS Apparently even a 5th place ranking on the hot and titillating television contest garners a spot on a Utah stage ... the land of Zion is so progressive. Anyhoo, Katya, the Lady Gaga-Tammy Faye Baker love child, brings her fierceness to Salt Lake. Don’t f*** it up! FRIDAY, MARCH 4 RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE SEASON 7: KATYA Metro Bar, 615 W. 100 South. 8pm. Tickets $10/Adv-$15/ Day of Show or $20/Meet & Greet, smithstix.com

Openly gay Bill T. Jones and the Arnie Zane Dance company present a poignant production of a holocaust survivor, Jones’ motherin-law, through dance and the spoken word. SATURDAY, MARCH 5 ANALOGY/DORA: TRAMONTANE Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 7:30pm. Tickets $25-75, ecclescenter.org

CONCERTS Though Frenchy is my least favorite character in the iconic movie Grease, sweet Carly did bring something … well, for lack of a better term, “special” to the role in the live television event. It’s all okay though, she is as adorable as a My Little Pony so I will continue to ask her to call me (her BFF) maybe. FRIDAY, MARCH 4 — CARLY RAE JEPSEN The Depot, 400 S. Temple. 8:30pm. Tickets 21+: $20/ Adv, $25/Day of Show or Under 21: $22/Adv, $27/Day of Show, smithstix.com

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

DANCE Odyssey Dance Theatre’s Shut Up & Dance returns to the stage showcasing its phenomenal modern versions of Romeo & Juliet and Carmen, as well as a world premiere based on the “prodigal son,” MJ. Hmm… Mick Jagger? No. Mary Jane? Definitely not! His Airness? That’s an air ball! It’s Michael Jackson, betches! WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9 — SHUT UP & DANCE Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU, times vary, through Mar. 19. Tickets $20-40, kingtix.com

“Tablado Dance Company presents flamenco solos, duos and trios in the Cafe Cantante style, a lively, lighthearted format where flamenco first emerged as a public performing arts in the cafes of Seville and Madrid in the mid-19th century.” I’ve never understood how they can dance that good on such scrawny legs … food for thought! FRIDAY, MARCH 25 — UNO, DOS Y TRES Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Saturday. artsaltlake.org

THEATRE/OPERA The Utah stages are running amuck with a wonderful array of productions. If I wasn’t such a queen I’d say A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder is based on my life. I mean I would do virtually anything to jump the line of succession to a fortune … Hasta la vista Michael Aaron! TUESDAY, MARCH 1 — A GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO LOVE AND MURDER Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU, times vary, through Mar. 6. Tickets $37.50-67.50, kingtix.com

On another note, I had no idea Selma Hayek was 65 years old. Damn she looks good, even when she’s playing a man and a woman. Oh, wait that’s Salma Hayek, silly me! Well anyway, it is a Pygmalion p roduction so it’s bound to build beautiful bridges. FRIDAY, MARCH 5 SELMA ‘65 Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, thru Mar. 19. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

An ancient love triangle, two ancient con men on the verge of a brokeback mountain, and the ancient tale of a Mormon housewife in drag round out the month. Enjoy! FRIDAY, MARCH 11 — DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City, times vary, thru Mar. 20. Tickets $35-55, egyptiantheatrecompany.org WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16 — AIDA Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 7:30pm, through Mar. 22 and 2pm, Mar. 24. Tickets $10-88, artsaltlake.org THURSDAY, MARCH 31 — KINGDOM OF HEAVEN Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through Apr. 10. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

MOVIES Celebrating its 20th anniversary, Plan 10 comes to the Tower screen. A sci-fi opic of sorts tells an X-Files-esque story of Mormon theology. Apparently, world domination is imminent by the ironic prophet, The Cigarette Smoking Man. FRIDAY, MARCH 11 — PLAN 10 FROM OUTER SPACE Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

Set partly in a creepy hotel … hello, Kathy Bates, the unusual but acclaimed flick, The Lobster, follows a group of single, horny peeps that must find a viable lover within 45 days or else they turn into shellfish incarcerated in a Red Lobster tank. Please, most lesbians can do that in four to five hours — finding a mate, not being incarcerated. FRIDAY, MARCH 25 — THE LOBSTER Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75–9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

UPCOMING EVENTS APRIL 1, Paula Poundstone, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, artsaltlake.org APRIL 16, Ellie Goulding, Maverik Ctr, maverikcenter.com APRIL 30, RuPaul’s Drag Race: Battle of the Seasons, The Depot, smithstix.com

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

‘Confessions of a Mormon Boy’ playing again in Salt Lake Steven Fales is back in the original Sunstone/Utah version of his solo play, Confessions of a Mormon Boy, featuring Heavenly Mother in the Pre-existence. Confessions is Fales’ original “valentine” to Mormonism and his children, he said in a statement. Peppered with local Utah and Mormon in-humor, the solo play takes place somewhere in Mormon Eternity after Judgment Day. Dressed in a “telestial” jailbird jumpsuit with a pink triangle, Fales comes up from Outer Darkness to find himself trying to get St. Peter (the token Catholic in Mormon Heaven) to let him. When his name isn’t on the list for Heavenly Mother’s Celestial Tea Party all heck breaks loose. Will Steven make it into the Celestial Kingdom to see his kids? Will he ever get to marry

“Jimmy Flinders”? Written within a year of his divorce and excommunication from the LDS Church in the summer of 2000, this original Sunstone/Utah version began as standup routine in New York City at Caroline’s on Broadway and then a reading at the Sunstone Symposium in Aug. 2001, with ex-wife Emily Pearson leading the standing ovation. The show’s world premiere was in November of 2001 at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center Black Box Theatre to a full-capacity crowd. An performance was added due to local counter-culture support and the unofficial endorsement of Affirmation: LGBTQ Mormons. The screenplay was published in Sunstone Magazine in 2003. The show has been updated and is being performed for the first time in 15 years.

“This was my first attempt to help end spiritual abuse and religious violence in our churches, mosques and synagogues,” said Fales. “I was astonished at the emails of support that poured in during and after the run. I seemed to be onto something as I struck a universal chord so I kept going. There was this real need to talk about these themes in the play.” Fales explained why he brought this version back. “I’ll be transforming the Leonardo Theater into the Celestial Kingdom as I turn Mormon Eternity upside down and serve it back with all the generosity-of-spirit an excommunicated Latter-day Saint can muster, “ he said. “Do we really believe eternity could possibly look like this? I like to say I may no longer be a Latter-day Saint but something about me will always be Mormon.” That, he says, starts with good, old-fashioned hokey

Mormon humor! “This will always be my favorite version and I feel like Salt Lake City, the epicenter of Mormondom, needs this more campy, wholesome version now more than ever. I know I sure-as-heck do!” Fales recently performed all three solo plays in Mormon Boy Trilogy in repertory at Richmond Triangle Players for the Acts of Faith Festival where the Washington Post called his work, “Powerful. Moving. Funny. A rare artistic commodity: a stand-up-infused autobiographical epic containing chapter after chapter of absorbing spiritual and personal crisis, sly cultural commentary and humor.” Mormon Boy Trilogy is in development for an off-Broadway run Spring 2017. My Mormon Valentine is playing through Mar. 5 at the Leonardo Museum Theatre. Tickets are available at mormonboylive. brownpapertickets.com. The Feb, 20 performance benefits the Utah Pride Center.

THE NIJINSKY REVOLUTION afternoon of a faun | games | the rite of spring artists of ballet west | photo by luke isley

april 15–23

801·869·6900 balletwest.org

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Sing out, sister An interview with Margaret Cho Coming to Salt Lake City Feb. 26, 27. BY GREGG SHAPIRO

Fanny

Brice wasn’t the only funny lady who could carry a tune. Margaret Cho did a good job of establishing herself as a singer and songwriting collaborator on her 2010 debut music album Cho Dependent. One of the busiest women in show business, between her stand-up comedy shows, Showtime specials, co-hosting duties on Fashion Police and her activism for queer, women’s and animal rights and causes, Cho has found the time to write and record her follow-up album American Myth (Clownery Records). Due out on April 29, Cho recorded the album with her band The Dog Children, and co-wrote most of the songs with out singer/songwriter Garrison Starr. She describes it as “a glamorous and glittering tribute to family, comedy, anger, fame, gayness, grief, fat pride, love and hate.” I spoke with Margaret about the album and more in early 2016.

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

Gregg Shapiro: Margaret, I had the pleasure of attending your concert in the fall of 2015, and the thing that struck me when you sang during the show’s finale is how increasingly strong your singing voice has become. You were belting! Margaret Cho: Why thank you! Are you taking voice lessons and who is your voice teacher? I had been taking various lessons. I’ve also had a lot of incredible singers give me a ton of great advice. From Cyndi Lauper, who kind of taught me the basics, and I’ve also worked with Bird. She’s a tremendous coach and she often coaches the contestants on American Idol. I’ve had a great amount of support. I’ve worked with incredible producers who have also taken my voice and brought it to another level. I think I have some natural abilities, but it’s the technique that I’ve been learning from the best that keeps me going. I’m really honored to do it. When I interviewed Lea DeLaria at the time of the release of her first jazz vocal album, it seemed to me that singing was something she had wanted to do all along and that the other things she did as a performer all led up to this moment. Would it be fair to say that being a singer is something that you have always wanted to be? Oh, always. But then, again, I’m very much a stand-up comedian in my heart. That’s really what I do. Now I’m trying to incorporate all of the different elements of my work as a performer, and use it as a standup comedian. You are calling your new album “American Myth.” Please say something about the title. It comes from one of the lyrics to the song “Anna Nicole.” It’s a song about Anna Nicole Smith. It’s the archetype of the tragic beauty who is too good for this world. It’s an American myth in the same way we mythologize Marilyn Monroe or James Dean. It’s an archetype we see over and over in film and on TV. That’s what I was referring to and what the song is about. It’s my version of “Candle In the Wind” for Anna Nicole. I’m so glad that you mentioned the song “Anna Nicole,” which you co-wrote with Garrison Starr. Why was now the time to do this loving tribute to Anna Nicole? I actually wrote the song with Garrison in 2010. We just hadn’t released it. It seemed too soon. You want to have some time to think about her. The world has changed. I think it’s the right time to look at her as kind of a frontrunner in reality television. She was Kim Kardashian before Kim Kardashian [laughs] was Kim Kardashian. Of course, Kim Kardashian is a kind of archetype. But she owns her beauty and is tremendously successful. There’s no tragedy, there’s no drug story. There’s just her and her fame and her beauty. But Anna Nicole

created that template of somebody that you’d want to watch on reality TV. Somebody that you’d want to invite into your home or as a role model, in terms of beauty and lifestyle and glamour. As someone who spends a lot of time on tour, have you had the chance to try out all of the songs on the new album in front of a live audience? Yes, I have tried a few of them. A couple of the songs are a staple in my stand-up comedy. I usually end my shows with songs. How has the reaction been? The reaction has been tremendous! Especially to a song called “Kill My Rapist.” I think it’s an important song. It’s not about violence. It’s about a cathartic release. To let go of the anger that survivors often feel [because] they are silenced and not allowed to express it. There’s a great catharsis that happens in the audience. They’ve watched this comedy show, they’ve laughed and laughed, and now let’s take it to something that is serious, but at the same time there’s a dark humor running through it. It’s a good way to bring what I do as a musician into what I do as a comedian. “Kill My Rapist” makes me think of Tori Amos’ song “Me and A Gun” and the way that opened up the conversation about rape, and made people aware of the organization RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network). Do you feel like you are reigniting that torch of conversation? I hope so. I love that song and I love Tori Amos. RAINN is a really important organization and it’s still going strong. I think rock and roll can bring a lot of healing. This year we’ve also seen, “Til It Happens to You,” the wonderful Lady Gaga and Diane Warren song (from The Hunting Ground doc), we’re seeing more of this and people talking about their experiences. It could also be an effect of Bill Cosby and all of his victims coming forward. We’re living in an era of important truth and feminism and women standing up for themselves. This is a good sign. There is a long tradition of comedic songwriters, including Ruth Wallis, Shel Silverstein, Tom Lehrer, Allan Sherman and Steve Martin. Do you have a favorite comedic songwriter and which comedic songwriters do you look to for inspiration? I think I look a lot to Morrissey. I think Morrissey is pretty funny. Of course, Bob Dylan and Patty Griffin; Patty’s not comedic but there are elements where she goes for lightness. There’s “Heavenly Day,” which is a love song for her dog. It’s so beautiful. I love Jill Sobule, another tremendous singer/ songwriter who incorporates a lot of humor. There is also the amazing Flight of the Conchords who are very funny. They’re more in the vein of Weird Al Yankovic, who is the ultimate!

Leslie Jordan is featured in the video for “Ron’s Got a DUI,” also co-written with Garrison. What was it like working with Leslie on the video? Oh, I love Leslie! He’s a sparkling star. There’s so much effervescence and so much joy in everything he does. I really love bringing his energy to a really nice fairy tale; this great relationship and one that I had when I was much younger. As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There’s a trust there. I feel like little girls and old gay men go together — there’s a safety. They make a shield from all of the bad things they’ve experienced in the world. They make a home together. There are no songs about that. I don’t know if you remember, but there was a show a long time ago called Love, Sidney. Yes, with Tony Randall. Right. Originally, they didn’t state it in the show, but it was about an older gay man with a kind of surrogate family. That’s the only time I remember seeing something like that. Unfortunately, I’m of the era where a lot of the men I was around when I grew up died of AIDS. At the end of the video, there’s a regulation size panel (that I am making) that I’m going to sew on to the AIDS Quilt. It’s a great tribute and something that I think tends to get forgotten. Society moves so fast now, but we need to look back at important things like the AIDS Quilt. We have to remember that there is a whole generation of men we’ve lost and to remember to honor them. I wouldn’t ordinarily watch “Wife Swap,” but when I saw that you were going to be on it, I couldn’t resist. On the whole, what was that experience like for you? It was great! I love Holly Robinson Peete. I love her family. We had the best time. Her husband is fantastic. Her kids are beautiful. I really enjoyed being in that environment. I’m not often around that kind of family. I’m not around kids. I’m not around straight men [laughs]. I had a very nice time. Your television presence has also increased with your recurring appearances on “Fashion Police.” How do you like being a part of the “Fashion Police” team? I love it! I’ve become very close to all of the co-hosts. I love Brad, I love Giuliana, I love Nene, and I’m especially tight with Melissa. I’ve known her for a very long time. She’s my sister. Consistently what we do is try to honor Joan Rivers’ memory. We try to do her justice. Fashion Police was Joan’s favorite thing. It was her most prized accomplishment. She really enjoyed it. What we try to do is bring it up back to her level. There’s no way you could ever replace Joan Rivers, but we can at least try to have fun and make her proud. Q Margaret Cho: The Woman! The Comic! The Legend! — a special event — will happen at Wise Guys Comedy Club in the Gateway at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Feb. 26 and 27. Tickets are $25 at w iseguyscomedy.com

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MUSIC

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

hear me out Sia and Panic! at the Disco BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Also Out ELTON JOHN, WONDERFUL CRAZY NIGHT

SIA, THIS IS ACTING Before she rebranded herself as a behindthe-scenes scribe for mainstream pop giants, Sia reveled in authenticity. Every feeling was pure – and even if it didn’t reflect her life, you believed it could. Remember “Breathe Me”? There was a big sigh, and then she broke you into a million sad, empowered pieces as she came clean one key change at a time. These days, having constructed a persona that’s distant and vague, that same Sia hides behind actual veils so as not to reveal too much of herself, generating hits for radio heavyweights like Adele and Beyoncé. So what happens when they and other pop stars pass on your songs? If you’re Sia, you record them yourself. Once again, Sia, following 1000 Forms of Fear, is larger than life. It’s a role she’s fine at playing – her distinctive warble packs a powerful punch – but it has become apparent that the same mask concealing her face is also obscuring the fact that Sia is a gifted storyteller full of things to say about herself. So if this is, indeed, acting, the bump-and-grind windup “Move Your Body” is either an Oscar winner… or a Razzie contender, depending on how you look at it. Same with “Sweet Design,” a very Bey-during-B’Day banger, with Sia singing contrived lines like, “Word travels fast when you’ve got an ass like mine.” Not that Sia doesn’t have a great ass, but it’s a hard, silly sell for an artist not known for such boasts. Her strengths lie in underdog anthems like “Bird Set Free,” where she pushes through the cage door and unleashes herself, singing, “I find myself in my melodies.” There are 11 other songs after “Bird Set Free,” none of them great, leaving you thinking: If only they, too, could find her essence again. Grade: C

PANIC! AT THE DISCO, DEATH OF A BACHELOR You know how it goes with pop bands: Eventually the frontman becomes this red-hot superstud star whose spotlight-stealing ways make everyone forget the names of the other band members... or that they exist. Just ask Adam Levine. Unlike Levine, though, Panic! at the Disco’s most delicious dish, Brendon Urie, knows it’s time to seize his solo status and move on. So with Death of a Bachelor, he has. On his own, but still under the Panic! moniker, Urie doesn’t reshape the band considerably, at least not for now, not while he establishes himself as the Brendon Urie Band. It’s clear from this solo release, though, that all his shameless pop dreams are coming true, which is to say Urie is fixated on being your powerpop god. Boisterous rock booms throughout the album’s front-end, but so much of it is empty-calorie ear candy that fans will be longing for days of yore, when Ryan Ross and the rest of the band’s pre-breakup lineup were also a part of the creative process. With Death of a Bachelor, where’s the ambition that once set Panic! apart from other dude bands? The band’s delightfully wonky wordplay? Not on “Victorious,” the album’s first cheap shot of a single, a glossy grab stuck on a sound that’s highly commercial and mind-numbingly insipid. It rolls right into the grungy pianointerrupted “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time,” better but typical. “Crazy=Genius” at least breaks the been-there-done-that mold with a fun old-timey swing sound, and it’s good to hear Urie take it down several notches on “Impossible Dream.” Still, though, Death of a Bachelor is a backwards evolution for a man still conceptualizing being on his own. Grade: C

No, Elton John hasn’t had one too many – that face of his, all blithe and framed by pieces of an erupted rainbow to further emphasize the piano man’s state of euphoria, is just his face. It’s the face of a married man. It’s the face of love. It’s the face of “I have nothing to prove.” And so on Elton’s 33rd album, Wonderful Crazy Night, he doesn’t. He’s Elton John, and, at this point, isn’t that enough? A unicorn of an album, Elton lets himself go, jetting back to his beginnings for a blissedout, ’70s-inspired rock ’n’ roll romp where he beams and bounces. From the ebullient title track to the coda’s lovey-dovey lyric “you’re an open chord I’m gonna play all day,” Elton’s shine is affected and infectious.

LUCINDA WILLIAMS, THE GHOSTS OF HIGHWAY 20 Lucinda Williams is living. You can hear it in her voice, wrinkled and drunk. But death looms on the alt-icon’s latest, soused in the smoky Americana sound she’s forged for more than three decades. She’s knocking on the “Doors of Heaven,” riffing her way to the finish line with a surprisingly not-macabre Southern-rooted rollick. It’s a striking contrast to “If There’s a Heaven,” a pained elegy. Death evokes childhood nostalgia on the wistful memoir “Louisiana,” as Williams recalls growing up and experiencing both the “sweetness” and the “rough.” Now 63, Williams comes to a powerful understanding on The Ghosts of Highway 20 that you can’t have one without the other. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

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The one true comic: Introducing a gay Mormon superhero There’s a new character in the comic book market that is shaking things up a bit. The new comic from So Super Duper Comics is called Stripling Warrior, and it centers around Sam Shepherd, Shepard, a happily out man visited by an angel on his wedding night and given the power to lay on hands to make people tell the truth and to “Smite villains with the power of 2000 Striplings”. He is served by a “sin sniffing bird-of-prey”, LaLia. The author, Brian Andersen, chose to write this story because: “I wanted to mine the religious lore and mythology of the Mormon Church to empower a homosexual hero — to show that a gay character is every bit as worthy in the eyes of God as any heterosexual one.” Andersen’s idea coupled with James Neish’s illustrations raised over $9,000 on Kickstarter and a two issues have been released with a third due out soon.

“My overarching vision and concept for Stripling Warrior is to tell a fun, sexy, perhaps provocative story by taking familiar superhero tropes and casting them into a comic book about an average guy who’s a gay Mormon superhero. Because everyone loves a gay Mormon, right? (Wait, what…they don’t?)”

Andersen wrote in a statement. “If I can tell an entertaining story that anyone can enjoy, whether you’re familiar with Mormonism or not, whether you’re homosexual or not, then I’ve done my job.” “And if my little comic can bring some small measure of comfort and pleasure to those who’ve felt marginalized by their faith because of their sexuality then I’ve hit a touchdown. It might be silly to think a comic book can accomplish this — but I’m not opposed to being silly.” When criticized for his characters being too stereotypically gay, Andersen responds: “Really? Can someone be too homosexual? All I know is that I’m writing from a personal and heartfelt perspective. Yeah, I’m a queeny gay, what of it? Since when did being a flamboyant homo become such a negative thing in our community? I don’t believe that “masc for masc” type dudes are the only acceptable type of gay superhero.” Q

DINING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

DINING GUIDE

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

BRONICORNS! — The adventures of two brothers going to BYU

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Brought to you by UGSA BYU, by Aaron Austin and Nathan Cunliffe

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER: HINT: CREEP

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march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org Gay and Lesbianspecific meetings: Sunday 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Monday 8p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Meeting, Disability Law Center (rear door), 205 N 400 W Tuesday 8p Live and Let Live, Disability Law Center (rear door), 205 N 400 W Wednesday 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Friday 8p Stonewall Group, UPC Crystal Meth Anonymous  crystalmeth.org BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.org * info@utahgaychamber.org Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org PO Box 521357 801-596-8977

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline TTY 1-800-787-3224 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake City  ywca.org/ saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Northern Utah HIV/ AIDS Project Walk-Ins Tues Noon–5pm 536 24th St, Ste 2B, Ogden 801-393-4153 Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake Valley Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 610 S 200 E 801-534-4666 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 HOMELESS SVCS

The Road Home  theroadhome.org 210 Rio Grande St 801-359-4142 Volunteers of America Ctr for Women and Children 697 W 4170 S 801-261-9177 Homeless Youth Resource Center, ages 15–21

Men who enjoy being naked in social, nonsexual settings. We have nude lunches, retreats, campouts, house parties, sporting events, wine tastings, game parties, etc.

umen.org

655 S State St 801-364-0744 Young Men’s Transition Home 801-433-1713 Young Women’s Transition Home 801-359-5545 YWCA 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS

Deeksha Utah  deekshautah. wordpress.com First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 11a Sundays Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays

Embracing the health & resilience of our community

Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at UPC SOCIAL

blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM * blackbootsSLC@ aol.com Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Resource Centers  outreachresourcecenters.org Ogden - 705 23rd St Weds, 3-7:30pm Logan - 596 E 900 N Fri, 4:30-7:30pm Brigham City - 435 E 700 S - 2nd, 4th Thurs, 4-7pm Clearfield - 782 E 700 S - 1st, 3rd Thurs, 5:30-7:30pm Tremonton - 440 W 600 N - 3rd Thurs, 4-6pm 801-686-4528 qVinum Wine Tasting group  qvinum.com Rainbow Classic Car Club Don R. Austin 801-485-9225 Sage Utah  facebook.com/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 255 E 400 S 801-539-8800 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org Weekly dances Thursdays 7p at UPC 801-449-1293

Utah Bears  utahbears.com  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  thecenter@ utahpridecenter.org 255 E 400 S 801-539-8800 SPORTS

Lambda Hiking Club  gayhike.org Pride Community Softball League  prideleague.com  pcsl@prideleague. com Q Kickball League  qkickball.com Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC – Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  stonewallshootingsportsutah.org Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org Salt Lake Community College Equality Involvement Club 8 facebook.com/slcc. equality

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 Univ. of Utah Queer Student Union utahqsu@gmail.com Univ. of Utah Women’s Resource Ctr  womenscenter.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr, Rm 411 801-581-8030 USGA at BYU  byuusga.wordpress. com  fb.co/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access and Diversity Center  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley University Spectrum  orgsync.com/5868/ chapter  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University Faculty/Staff GayStraight Alliance  organizations. weber.edu/fsgsa  fsgsa@weber.edu Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 3885 W Campus Dr, Student Services Center, Suite 154 Dept. 2125 801-626-7271

SPORTS, BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

the bookworm sez ‘The Best Party of Our Lives: Stories of Gay Weddings’ by Sarah Galvin c.2015, Sasquatch Books $18.95, U.S. & Canada 226 pages Your summer is filling up quickly. It starts with graduations and confirmations. You’ve already got a pile of “Save the Date” cards for a bunch of weddings, and the summer wraps up with family reunions and more weddings. It might even end with yours, and in the new book “The Best Party of Our Lives” by Sarah Galvin, you’ll see how “I do” becomes “whooo hoooo!” Even though she “always figured” she’d end up spending her life with a woman, Sarah Galvin “certainly had no interest in weddings….” They just weren’t relevant to her, except for an irksome knowledge that much of the wedding industry was biased against LGBTQ couples. Later, as a writer for a newspaper in Seattle, she began getting requests to “crash” weddings and she was “blown away by the things” she saw. Weddings – especially for LGBTQ couples – weren’t what she thought they’d be. Their parties were “the best ones imaginable…” The stories of some she found are in this book. When a couple looks back on their boy-meets-boy (or girlmeets-girl) story, there’s often an element of surprise. There was an introduction, either traditionally or through modern methods like Craigslist, online, or dance rave. Falling in love might’ve begun with bumps and

rough spots, followed by the realization of common interests and the happy idea that you can’t get her out of your mind. No two proposals are alike, although today’s couples almost always have some sort of prior discussion on it. The actual “Will you…” might be romantic and accompanied by one or two rings, or it may be an out-loud wondering if moving in together meant more than merely sharing a home. And just like the proposals are varied, so are the budgets, which usually leads to a DIY ceremony that more reflects the pair. Some of the couples in this book had Domestic Partnerships long before they married. One couple debated marriage altogether, figuring that there was no reason to wed as an “affirmation of the love they’d known was true” for years. Some invited nearly everyone they knew, while one couple sent “Don’t Save the Date” tchotchkes. There were cakes and cake-toppers, toasts and gifts, and one “thirty-threeyear relationship [that] deserved a party…” So you got engaged over the holidays, or maybe you’ve got love on the brain. How do other LGBTQ couples make their special days… special? “The Best Party of Our Lives” is packed with ideas on that. It’s also packed with another thing: stories that are very Seattle-centric. Author Sarah Galvin says she “started with” Seattle couples but she never really got any farther than that, although LGBTQ couples get married all over the place. I would’ve absolutely liked to see wider coverage from this book; the minimized area doesn’t make it bad – it makes it a lot of the same. Even so, if you’ve got stars in your eyes, a ring on your finger, and romance on your mind, you’ll barely notice. For you, newlywed-to-be, “The Best Party of Our Lives” will fill you with happiness. Q

OutGames to be held in St. Louis Over 3,000 lesbian gay, bisexual, transgender and allied participants from across North America are expected to meet in St. Louis May 28 through June 4, to participate in sports from rugby to bowling, cycling to darts. The Gay and Lesbian International Sports Association officially awarded St. Louis the quadrennial sporting, human rights and cultural event in 2014. The LGBT gathering will include a multi-event sports competition, on-going cultural celebrations and a three-day human rights conference. The mission of the OutGames is to create an experience that will honor diversity, celebrate athletic accomplishment, facilitate learning, and inspire action, with a ton of fun sprinkled across the entire week.

“It is our hope that as attendees participate in various seminars, workshops, sporting events and fun, they will undoubtedly foster or strengthen a sense of community and belonging which then will inspire positive change within their own communities,” said organizers. The 2016 North American OutGames website, naoutgames2016.org, provides detailed information, including venues, the sporting competition calendar, Human Rights Conference and various cultural event details. The 2016 North America OutGames unfolds with the pageantry, excitement and camaraderie of the Opening Ceremonies at America’s Center on May 28. Ceremonies will include a parade of participants, music, special guests, welcome addresses and more. Q

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40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

Turn Your Luck Around

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march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

Off-Leash Dog Parks

POSITIVE THOUGHTS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

q scopes

MARCH BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS ARIES March 20–April 19 Though it may not seem likely, a development is ready to cause an explosion of good fortune. Keep your chin high and be proud of an accomplishment. Try to understand where a friend is coming from when jealousy forms as a result. Share whatever info you can, though if you avoid unnecessary bragging, the better off things will be. TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 The launch of a new plan will go off without a hitch. However, challenges will come during maintenance of the creation. Whether it’s a business or creative project, don’t take your eye off the prize for long. An expected challenge will present itself in the form of an ally, only to later be revealed as a plethora of drama.

Degeneres Is Ideal, Also Istic ACROSS 1 Anaïs Nin was one 8 Golfer Muffin ___-Devlin 15 Physically fit 16 Unit with some real stallions 17 „You wish!“ 18 Rio beach of song 19 Start of Degeneres’ comment on receiving the People’s Choice Humanitarian award 21 More of the comment 22 Rubbers of noses 24 Seaman’s pair 27 Doze off 28 More of the comment 33 Debussy sea 34 Trucker’s ride 36 Lea of OITNB 38 Imaginary 40 Seaport of Pasolini’s land 41 Some Willa Cather works 43 Came out on top 44 Neighbor of Cal. 45 Degeneres 46 Put a scuff on 48 Sign over 49 Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd, e.g. 52 Children’s hospital to which Degeneres

donated her award 57 End of the comment 60 Like Kerr Smith in Dawson’s Creek 62 Kind of homo 64 First, for one 65 Whip material 66 “Jailhouse Rock” settings 67 Become harder to climb

DOWN 1 Had sex with, in slang 2 Letters over Mary’s son 3 On the ocean 4 Pulp Fiction actor Ving 5 Shakespeare’s feet 6 Shake up 7 Erection of temporary shelters 8 Poli ___ 9 Parenting couple, sometimes 10 Cole Porter’s “Well, Did You ___” 11 Half of Mork’s good-bye 12 Warhol critic Greenberg 13 At Wit’s End author Bombeck 14 Idol of porn 20 Ins. letters 23 Ann Bannon’s ___ Girl Out 24 Get a smile out of 25 Self-directed Streisand film

26 Flamboyant Flynn 28 Cumming on the stage 29 Break for Heather’s mommies 30 One that mates with a queen bee 31 Was laid up in bed 32 Easily screwed 34 Prince’s purple precipitation 35 Island in gay Paree 37 Rocker Brian 39 Byron’s before 42 Mustangs of the NCAA 43 Violet Quill members, for example 47 “Try ___ might...” 48 Queer as a threedollar bill, e.g. 49 Mullally of Will & Grace 50 Weight unit for your stones 51 “Is that true of us?” 52 Margaret Cho’s Can’t ___ Dancing 53 Alas., once 54 Knight in the saga of Moff Mors 55 Aussie colleges 56 Paul of Little Miss Sunshine 58 “Take ___ from me ...” 59 Staircase descender for Duchamp 61 Dottermans of Antonia’s Line 63 DC figure ANSWERS ON PAGE 46

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Helping a friend in need always brings rewards to both of you. This month will be a good time to remember this, as a difficult proposition could initially be a turn off. Get past a preconception and allow some give and take. Friends and family members are bound to create a lure in the form of a vacation or activity, so indulge.

taining something that means the world to you is the key to feeling satisfied. The simply things count. SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 An assumption of responsibility may warrant an exploration of your behavior. Don’t be hard on yourself and learn the lessons that come from a tough break. A co-worker or business partner could hurt you, but a healing period will quickly follow. Kiss and make up with those who care, and dismiss the ones who don’t. SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20. Adaption is a vital component to existence, and you are feeling out of your element. The best strategy to cope is to change your attitude. Aim to please someone you care about, especially regarding romance. The reward will be abundant and plentiful. Take charge when duty calls, and everything will into place. Have faith. CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 A failure to comprehend the consequence of an action could be upsetting. Even so, there is a lesson to be learned, which can lead to satisfaction. With a blessing disguised as a curse, the temptation to make more mistakes is tempting. Don’t rock the boat too much. Forgiveness is easy the first time but second chances are not.

CANCER June 21–July 22 Flipping into survival mode over little things is a bad habit that should be broken. Stop caring about the mild issues regarding friendships, and focus on business and financial matters. A slithering doubt could creep into you, but could be warranted. Even so, putting on a good face is vital to accomplishing your goals.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 A problem in the workplace is eating away at your soul, but help is on the way. Avoid a frivolous confrontation and keep a low profile to allow your friend to do what is needed. When everything cool down, gratitude could be expected. Don’t be afraid to comply, but don’t compromise yourself in the process.

LEO July 23–August 22 A dry spell is going to break, and a flood of ideas will take shape. Lift your spirits by getting involved with a good friend or lover in abundance. Romance is about to get hot and heavy after implementing a wild inspiration. The time for fun is now, Leo, and you’re party is just beginning. Don’t forget that you’re in charge of it.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 The final test of a friendship will leave you rejuvenated. Someone really loves you more than thought possible. A relationship or deeper friendship can happen, but don’t become dependent. Your ability to be self-determined defines your association. Give-and-take in a business matter and feel free to redefine ideals.. Q

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 Don’t fool yourself into thinking everything makes sense. By trying to fit all the facts into a smaller scope, the power of truth can be undermined. Instead, focus on one thing that matters, like a long desired career goal or cultivating a friendship. A surprise will introduce itself in the form of a lover or teacher. Embrace it. LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Drop everything that creates chaos, even those things that are enjoyable. The need to regroup and focus on the present has never been so vital, especially with a close relationship. It is impossible to have everything, but ob-

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SERVICE GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

march 2016 | issue 253

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | DRINKS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

the frivolist glass, hence “The Big Short.” Created by Bryan Galligos, bartender at Portland’s Bacchus Bar.

Best Pitcher Showcase 2016: Oscar-inspired cocktails to get the party started by Mikey Rox Thirsty for Oscar? Watch the 88th Academy Awards go down in history – and hashtags (#becausesomebodyshadworkdone) – with these quenching cocktail recipes inspired by this year’s nominees and Hollywood’s biggest night. RED CARPET READY 4 cups apple cider, chilled 2 cups cranberry juice cocktail, chilled 2 cups Sparkling Ice (sparklingice.com) Crisp Apple, chilled 1 can (12 oz) frozen orange juice concentrate Apple slices for garnish Rosemary cranberry sprig for individual garnish, or float fresh or frozen cranberries in punch bowl

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Stir, strain and serve up. Garnish with lemon peel. Created by Keith Villanueva, bartender at Seattle’s Sazerac restaurant.

LUCK IN EAST BERLIN — INSPIRED BY BRIDGE OF SPIES 1 oz Luksusowa Vodka ¼ oz Lemon Juice ¼ oz Crème de Cassis Shake and strain into a flute. Top with Prosecco. Garnish with a lemon peel. Created by Keith Villanueva

Garnish with blood orange slice and mint. Created at Terranea

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FURY ROAD — INSPIRED BY MAD MAX 2 oz Pelligroso Silver Tequila ¾ oz Heering Cherry liqueur ½ oz lemon juice ½ oz lime juice ½ oz agave nectar 2 dashes angostura bitters 1 bar spoon harissa chili paste Muddled grilled pineapple that has been soaked in mezcal Pinch of salt

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SPOTLIGHT ½ oz Angostura bitters ½ oz Soldera sherry 1 oz lime juice ¾ oz rosemary simple syrup Combine and shake over ice. Strain into a wide coupe glass and top with “creamed wine” (Oregon pinot, lemon and egg whites in a whipped cream canister). Notes: wine and rosemary are both used in religious ceremonies, so this is like an amped up version of holy wine, served in a glass with a spotlight-like rim. Created by Andrew Call, bartender at Portland’s Bacchus Bar.

THE BIG SHORT 1 oz Templeton Rye ½ oz Campari ½ oz dry Curacao 1 bar spoon Fernet Branca 2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters 1 dash Angostura bitters Combine and shake over ice. Strain into Nick and Nora glass and garnish with a large orange wheel. This packs big flavor into a small

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES – INSPIRED BY ROOM 1½ oz Four Roses Yellow Label Bourbon ½ oz Green Chartreuse ¼ oz Fernet Branca ¾ oz Lemon Juice ¼ oz Simple Syrup 8 Arugula Leaves Combine all ingredients in a mixing tin and shake. Strain over rocks. Garnish with an arugula leaf. Created by Chad Phillips, head bartender at Seattle’s Pennyroyal bar THE OLD HOLLYWOOD 1 oz Amaro Lucano ½ oz fresh lemon juice 2 oz San Pellegrino Limonata Bisol Jeio Prosecco Lemon wheel for garnish Ice Mix Lucano, fresh lemon and San Pellegrino. Add 3½-ounce mix to wine glass, fill with ice, top with Prosecco, and garnish with two lemon wheels. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

fitness

FITNESS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

Foster homes needed — MEOW!

Worth the Weight Wait BY TYSON DALY

One of

the most common stumbling blocks that I see as a fitness professional is setting realistic fitness goals and timelines. This is especially common with weight loss goals. The Biggest Loser shows people losing over 5 pounds per week for several weeks. Expecting those types of pounds to be lost, much less keeping them off, is unrealistic. That’s why people who see weight loss results through very extreme, rapid measures tend to gain back that weight very quickly after their spring break/wedding/class reunion is over and they aren’t starving themselves and doing hours of daily cardio anymore. Our bodies don’t like rapid changes in their day-to-day function. Abrupt, drastic changes in daily calorie intake and exercise levels can create a rebound effect. Even worse, this can slow down metabolism and make it easier to put on body fat. Smaller increment changes to your diet and workout routine will ensure sustain-

able, healthy weight loss. So what’s a realistic pace for weight loss? How quickly is it okay to lose weight while expecting it to be sustainable. Let’s look at it in terms of how much weight loss is needed. 5–10 pounds: About 1 pound per week 10–30 pounds: 1 to 2 pounds per week 30–50 pounds: 2 to 3 pounds per week 50+ pounds: 3 pounds or more per week Consult a doctor before starting any training program if you currently have any health problems due to being overweight. I hope this helps in setting some goals for this year’s swimsuit season. Don’t be afraid to push yourself but never forget that this is about your long-term health and not just temporary results. Q

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GAY WRITES

A Chronicle BY KED KIRKHAM

Shame The beat of his pulse; the throbbing, choking, coughing, pounding in his chest and head from the emission went on for several minutes. Knowing but fearing, as well that the act had thrown open the doors to that shame, Simm could only clutch himself inside the wadded towel and wait for it to subside. Could dead people see through the dark? Could they see through the ceiling or the walls? Could grandmother see him? If he used another blanket would he be hidden? Even if it worked he would feel the shame. How did he learn that this was bad? He couldn’t remember. All he knew now was the shame, like a stain on a cloth. Could a cloth ever be clean if it was stained? When Simm had wet himself at school last year, he had purposely gotten into the canal in his clothes to disguise the accident. His clothes were dry by the time he got home. He wished for something that would have the same effect now. Instead, using the still viscous fluid, he began again, pushing and tugging roughly to make an erection. He hoped to get the blood to pound his thoughts into oblivion. It did not. Afterward, Simm could hear his uncle stir. For Simm to disturb the sleeping room would end in no good. In his knowledge, Simm was the only one who did this. Uncle caught him once and said guys in the army did it when they thought about their best girl, and he had tried to get Simm to tell who his best girl was. Later his uncle had given Simm a towel to keep by his bed, only nodding toward his privates when Simm asked what for. He told Simm he’d be responsible to do his own washing from then on. No one wanted to be touching sheets that were all gummed up. Simm slept; his underwear hung up on one foot, the pajama pants pushed into the space between bed and wall and the shirt held with a single button in a mismatched hole. When he woke, Simm was alone. He wondered if others could tell that he’d done it again. Not saying so would be worse he thought because he would never know. He forswore touching himself that way. Again. It would be to no avail. In the toilet, he tried to wash himself with tissue. While dressing on his bed, he wondered about stain on cloth. Could he ever be clean? A cold breakfast was on the table for him. He was the only one in the house and he realized anew that he was orphaned and had been

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

gay writes carted off to his uncle. Only then did Simm think of his parents. It was his grandmother he worried could see him at night. Secretly, keeping it nearly from himself, Simm feared her love would be lost. Simm doubted he could find love anywhere else. Who would love a stained cloth?

Guilt Darkness of the type that winter tule fogs create — dense, visible, undulating — was all Val could see out his bedroom window. Diffused yellow lit the wall opposite him, leaving his sleeping wife in shadow but allowing movement from his side of the bed to the bathroom, where he closed the door before turning on the light. Blinded for a moment, Val leaned on the door until he could look at himself in the mirror. It would not have surprised him to see a strip of numbers telling his height next to the door; that was his appearance at four this morning, guilty if not criminal. Even the pajama pants looked like prison garb he thought as he reached into the fly to clutch and squeeze the cotton-clothed crotch. How he wanted someone else to do that. He looked again at the man in the mirror, watching him as his hand slipped between his legs. Val’s bladder made a claim on the schedule. Enough of this, he thought, go to work. While the amber liquid swirled and disappeared through the bottom of the commode, Val slid the shower door closed behind himself and dialed the knob to hot as he pulled. In seconds, the water was hot enough to adjust down. Val let water spray against him; he let it run over him and down and finally away in the drain. It was clean water, really, he had showered not even twenty-four hours earlier. Turning his back to the warm water, he braced his hands on the shower stall, watching it flow down his legs and splash around his feet. Straightening, he found the soap-on-a-rope his kids had given him, and cupping the soap, drew it over his body until the aroma permeated the steam around him. He recalled the man who had introduced him to this fragrance, and others that had used it just this way. Facing the water again, he lowered the soap until the bar bounced against his thighs and he wrapped the cord around the base of his genitals, becoming aroused. His powerlessness was overwhelming. Compromises and promises ran out with suds and water at his feet and disappeared into the drain. He pressed the soap between his thighs, tightening the cord, and leaned into the water, closing his eyes tightly against the stream and the images in his mind.

The walls of the shower insert buckled and flexed as Val slid to the floor. Water flooded the space in his hand where the erection, now spent, was receding and so doing separated the jism, washing away the thinner fluids to leave the sticky sperm. Val tried to gauge the time he had been there, how long the shower had taken. After another minute, he stood and soaped himself again, thoroughly. There could be no tale-tell odors, no bits of residue, no proof that this weakness rode him. He could not have her know he wanted anything other than what they had made vows for. Val turned the knob to full, scalding hot.

Acceptance Dropping the tee that had served as a nightshirt, Kort observed himself in the mirror. He looked for several minutes longer than he had the time for. What, he wondered, had happened? “Used to be tightie-whities, now it’s baggy beiges.” A snort of appreciation escaped. There was no need; his words would only cling a moment to the bare walls of the outmoded bathroom in this nondescript apartment. Kort stepped out of the underpants, which had dropped to his feet. He turned his back on the mirror without another glance and slipped behind the curtain into a shower that already was running too hot. Soon, his lathered hands explored and examined the parts that drew such attention in the cotton briefs years ago. Kort pulled and probed, and ran his hands over and back and around, up and down: the love handles, the spongy back fat, the soft belly and thighs, the nipples flat now on pecs that could use a little support. The butt. Damned unremarkable. Kort was an older lover; familiar with special places, accepting of changes. “My significant same,” he smiled. Squatting down in the tub between the pole of the shower caddy and the soap dish he rinsed himself. Kort splashed and flicked water as it ran down his back, through the cleavage of his ass; feeling what was left of the lubricant disappear in the water and soap. Kort lingered there. He thought again of the other, still on the bed in the other room. And of the times it had been men there. Significant? Maybe. He wanted more; perhaps he’d find something later at the store. Kort stood and turned all the way around one last time before shutting off the water. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

QMMUNITY CALENDAR | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

Qmmunity Calendar Weekly Events: SUNDAYS  Beer Church @ Club Try-Angles 3pm | 251 W 900 S, clubtry-angles. com  Karaoke Party with mAndrew and Ducky at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

MONDAYS  Pride Yoga at Utah Pride Center 6:30pm | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

WEDNESDAYS  Karaoke Party w/ mAndrew and Ducky at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com  Utah Bears Dinner, meeting first at Raw Bean @ 6pm | 611 West Temple, utahbears.com  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center @ 5-7pm | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

THURSDAYS  Karaoke at Club Try-Angles | 251 W 900 S, clubtryangles.com

FRIDAYS  Gossip! at Club Sound @9:30pm | 579 W 200 S, gossipslc.com  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

 One80 at Moose Lounge | 180 W 400 S, facebook. com/One80.SLC

SATURDAYS  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com  Vers at Club X | 445 400 W

Special Events FRI MAR: 4  Mormon boy party with DJ Robbie Rob @ Jam  Carnal Desires 1 year anniversary blow out @ ONE80  Baba Yaga with The Bad Kids Collective and Katya from RPDR @ Metro Bar

SAT MAR 5  Justin Hollister presents: Friday Flix music video dance party @ Jam

FRI MAR 11 Dance party with DJ Lishus @ Jam  Utah Grizzlies game with Utah Bears

SAT MAR 12  Jesse Walker realness with DJ jesse walker @ Jam

 School party with DJ Lishus @ Jam

SUN MAR 20  Drag brunch on the 20th with an Easter Bonnet contest for “the bigger the better best in show” with

IT’S

Harry-it Winston @ Club X

WED MAR 23:  Those Bitches show at 8 pm @ Try Angles

THU MAR 24–26:  Comic Con FanXperience

FRI MAR 25  Ultimate dance party, @ Jam

SAT MAR 26  DRAGTENDERS

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with DJ Justin Hollister (all your favorite bartenders dolled up in drag) @ Jam  BAR EVENT : 21+ (GOSSIP! 18+)  COMMUNITY EVENT: ALL AGES  KARAOKE: 21+

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LAST TRIP OF THE SEASON: SPRING CONFERENCE GETAWAY SATURDAY, APRIL 2, 2016

FRI MAR 18  St. Party’s dance party with DJ Suzy B @ Jam  Drag Queen Bingo at the First Baptist Church 7 pm  Underwear Night hosted by Carnal Desires @ Club Try-Angles

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SAT MAR 19

Brought to you by QSaltLake and the Matrons of Mayhem, we leave Club Try-Angles at noon on the most raucous trip to West Wendover, NV you will ever find. Bingo on the way-o with great prizes, $7 in free play, free grand buffet, more! A WEEKLY FORECAST AND BREAKDOWN OF LGBTQIA EVENTS HAPPENING IN SLC

TICKETS AT BIGGAYFUNBUS.COM and Club Try-Angles during business hours

48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NIGHTLIFE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

princess kennedy

The lips of an Angel BY PRINCESS KENNEY

A couple

of weeks ago we had a bit of a scare with my mom — a mild hart attack. In the end it was really no big deal and she recovered fairly quickly. The tough part was the few days she spent in the hospital while they did tests to find out what caused it. For a time the outlook became a bit grim. It is times like these that you sort of have a need to spout your inner feelings and secrets to the nearly departed. I’ve never really understood those bedside confessions. To me and mine, I say please don’t burden me with your baggage in my already difficult sate. Surely I jest … well

… sort of. Our conversation covered a lot of ground in that last night at the University Hospital. It all started with a conversation fueled by pills on her side and 420 on mine, concerning her test results. “My physicians assistant is a he/she,” she told me. I cringed. “He looks like a football player, it’s so sad,” she continued as I continued to cringe as hard as my Botox would let me. “Hi, my name is Angel (name changed to protect the trans-innocent),” she said in her deepest voice. “MOM!!” I quickly blurted out, all the while thinking to myself, “are we really going to

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have this conversation right now and in this way? Yes, yes we are.” “Mom you can’t say he/she, that’s so mean! Angel is a she and if you can’t say she than you have to just call her Angel.” She was looking a bit perplexed. Then my mother, who was a well-known model in the 50s, told me the story she related to Angel whom I’m assuming had some fucked up hair. “I gave Angel a little tip,” she said. “I told her to get herself a silk pillow case and her hair wouldn’t look so broken in the back.” Angel, if your out there, my mother is the woman who thinks all of life’s problems can be solved by simply reapplying lipstick. She meant well. She finished her point, raising her hands in the air. “All I’m saying is you should give pretty lessons.” My mom is actually very sweet and is quick to tell me I look “trim,” approves of my current hair shade, lash extensions, etc. So I had to fill her in on where she was wrong. “Mom. I love you for saying so, but I’m pretty sure that Angel is perfectly aware of how she looks and you have to sit back and take an inventory of some of the the things that Angel has gone through in her life.” I could tell she was getting uncomfortable when she stared rifling through her bedside makeup bag for her lipstick. “Mom, I’m not scolding you,” I said as I pulled the bag away from her and found her the tube of “Star Coral.” “I just think it’s time we had that conversation.” She looked a little panicked. “In case you were wondering if it comes up with the family, ever, I don’t think I was born in the wrong body.” Her grip loosened on her lipstick. “I’m your mother (insert real name). Don’t you think if that were the case I’d have known? You just have a flair for drama.”

My mother associates everything from my sexuality to my tattoos with my theater degree. “Yes that is true,” I agree. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’m still considered a trans person.” “What exactly does that mean?” She asked. “It means that I identify as female in my brain, I just don’t plan on getting any surgery or making drastic alterations to my body.” “Except for your lips?” She said to lighten the mood, staring at my new Kylie Jenner injections. “Minor adjustments,” I tell her. “The point is, mom, I know you worry about me and what I might be and you sit in pity over people you see like Angel, but what you need to remember is that we have had enough of all the feels from society and, after all the pity and diagnosis and judgment, what people like Angel and I need is acceptance for who we are and support to be the people we know we are.” With that she sat up, planted a giant orange kiss on my cheek and with a hug told me, “You’re my baby. I love you and always will.” As the forever cynic, I don’t believe in marriage, I think it’s a corrupt and archaic concept and something I refuse to write about. Some of you may or may not know that I’m in the middle of writing a book called Growing Up Kennedy. From time to time there will come a current story I feel so strongly about that I hope you don’t mind me sharing an excerpt. It sucks it took a near death scare to finally outwardly express my honest and true feelings, but it’s at time like these that walls are broken down and major things can seem so minor in the grand scheme of it all. For something I felt wasn’t really that important to actually talk about with my fam, I’m glad I got to share that part of my life with her, and you. Q

march 2016 | issue 253 | gaysaltlake.com

NIGHTLIFE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 253 | march 2016

the perils of petunia pap smear

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear.

Cryptogram: “I THINK IT SUMS ME UP PERFECTLY AS I AM BOTH A HUMAN AND AN ITARIAN.”

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Anagram: ELLEN DEGENERES

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Petunia Pap Smear Queen of Utah.” Cherri seemed to think that the members of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire might take offense of my usurping such a lofty title. I countered with the argument that Queen is not an imperial title, thus it should be okay. Cherri went on to pontificate that no matter what title I should ever chose, there would be countless minions of jealous detractors who would scoff at such lofty aspirations. I straightaway quoted the Dowager Duchess, “All life is a series of problems which we must try and solve.” Cherri didn’t think I should be quite so full of myself and I should lower my ambitions somewhat. Then I suggested “The Most Noble Petunia Pap Smear, Dowager Duchess of Deseret.” Cherri then pointed out that in order to be a dowager, I needed to be a widow. So, I quoted to her the famous words from Delores Clayborne: “Husbands die every day, Dolores. Why... one is probably dying right now while you’re sitting here weeping. They die... and leave their wives their money. I should know, shouldn’t I? Sometimes they’re driving home from their mistress’s apartment and their brakes suddenly fail. An accident, Dolores, can be an unhappy woman’s best friend.” But then I thought about the long 24 years that Mr. Pap Smear and I had waited before we could be the 153rd couple in line at the Salt Lake County Court House to get that legal marriage license and decided that I probably ought not to bump him off just for a title. Besides, he’s a pretty good cook. I then parleyed the title of

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to Downton Abbey is fraught with danger and excitement. I am totally enamored with the character of Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham. I feel as if I am watching my twin sister in every little nod of her snobbish chin, and each deft and deadly utterance from her critical tongue. She totally had me eating out of the palm of her hand when she said, “I do think a woman’s place is eventually in the home, but I see no harm in her having some fun before she gets there.” With her name being Violet, there is the very remote offchance that she is genealogically linked to me through the Bloom family from which I descend. I must write to my sisters Hyacinth, Violet, Rose and Daisy to confirm if there is indeed a connection. I see no reason whatsoever why I should not have a royal title, and convert my humble Chateau Pap Smear, into a Stately Manor House worthy of my lofty ambitions. Last month I took some time off from my never-ending quest to categorize and sort all the gay porn on the internet to help host The Big Gay Fun Bus to Wendover. I was killing time at the bar of the Rainbow Casino with fellow queen Cherri Bombb, as we are wont to do. She and I were trying on different royal and noble titles to see how they rolled off the tongue. I thought of the wisdom of the Dowager Duchess when she said, “Nothing succeeds like excess.” Well, I thought, excess is my middle name and I should have any damn title that sounds good. I expressed a desire to be known as “Her Royal Highness

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The road

Chateau Pap Smear is exclusively a Miracle Whip household. I just could never tolerate that. Just then I remembered a final glimmer of inspiration from the Dowager, “Don’t be defeatist dear, it’s very middle class.” I looked up the ranks of hereditary peerage at the bottom of the line of succession. As a last ditch effort I proposed, “Her Ladyship of the Privy Chamber”; to which Cherri countered, “Slopper of the Chamber Pot.” Alas, I shall have to be content to be addressed as “Her Bloatedness Buffet Queen.” As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions. 1. If I possessed my own personal set of Royal Dalton china with hand-painted periwinkles, would I be so envious of royal titles? 2. Will a collection of FTD florist rainbow mugs from the ’70s count just as much as Royal Dalton? 3. Does the ownership of 24 sets of electrified breasticles make me eligible to qualify as part of the landed gentry? 4. If my title was Dowager Dutchess of Deseret, would detractors change it to Doddering Bitch Ass of the Desert? 5. Is Cherri Bombb just a heartless bitch?

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BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

“The Right Honorable Petunia Pap Smear, Countess of Wasatch” for her consideration. “No good!" She exclaimed. "Before long, little children and bitchy queens jealous of your beehive hair would undoubtedly change it to ‘The Wrong Deplorable Cunt Ass of Sasquatch.’” With that distasteful moniker dangling in the air like a fart in church. I delved into the mind of the Dowager Countess of Grantham for further inspiration. Her words, “Are you here to help or irritate?” immediately came to mind and I addressed Cherri thusly. At that point I proposed “The Right Honorable Baroness of Bridgerland” as a possible replacement; to which Cherri countered “Her Heftiness, The Barnacle of Bulkitude” and I was just about ready to surrender. As a final straw, I summoned up the Dowager’s words again, “In my experience, second thoughts are vastly over rated.” Come hell or high water, I was going to get a title befitting my immense presence. How about “The Most Honorable Petunia Pap Smear, Marquesa’ de Mayhem?” My blinking breasticles almost burst with joy and happiness. That mellifluous title sounded almost musical as it flowed effortlessly from my lips. A difference of opinion gushed speedily and forcefully form Cherri’s lips, “The Most Hippoglottamus Mayonnaise of Magna.” Oh how horrible, especially because

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Chapter 100 — A tale of royalty

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