QSaltLake Magazine - April 2016

April 2016 Issue 254

T H I R D I N O U R T H R E E - PA RT S E R I E S UTAH LEGISLATIVE SESSION WRAPUP • SUPREME COURT ON ADOPTION • ALAN CUMMING • CHEYENNE JACKSON

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4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THE FIRST WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

in this issue

staffbox publisher/editor Michael Aaron

copy editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan, Steven Simmons

24

38

Then Comes Baby

Cheyenne Jackson Alan Cumming

Same-sex couples are increasingly becoming parents through adoption and fostering.

30

on his ‘bi phase’ & Lady Gaga grabbing his butt

NEWS �������������������������������������������������������������������12 Utah Legislative Session wrapup Salt Lake’s LGBT population tops U.S. growth Utah Pride Festival seeking award nominees Utah Neighborhood Caucuses coming VIEWS �����������������������������������������������������������������16 Mikki Enoch discusses eating disorders in the trans* community Creep of the month: Donald Trump Ben Williams on a galaxy not-so-far, far away

on sappy songs, bisexuality and his proudest moments

A&E �������������������������������������������������������������������������32 Tony Hobday’s Gay Agenda Plan-B brings a drag king to the stage

FOOD & DRINK �������������������������������������������39 Dining Guide

NIGHTLIFE �������������������������������������������������������48 Books to read before summer Spring calorie-burning activities Qmmunity Calendar of nightlife events Comics and Puzzles

contributors Diane AndersonMinshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Tyson Daley, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Princess Kennedy, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Peter Stoker, Marcy Taylor-Rizzi, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Jason Van Campen,

Bradley Jay Crookston, Tad Wada publisher

Salt Lick Publishing LLC 222 S Main St, Ste 500 Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-649-6663

from the publisher

Dump Trump

BY MICHAEL AARON

What began

as an entertaining summer watching the Republican Party eat its own turned scary as Donald Trump has begun winning landslide victories across the country. At his point, it would take an unprecedented break with electoral history for Trump to lose the nomination. Trump embarrasses himself, the Republican Party and our country each time he opens his mouth. The mainstream media deserve considerable blame for his dominating the polls, granting endless softball interviews since last summer at the expense of airtime for other candidates who, unlike Trump, are required to put on a suit and actually show up in a studio to be interviewed. Trump lies about everything and is rarely challenged. It took Fox News’ Megyn Kelly to stand up to the bully and his misogyny.

Contact emails: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

Check us out online at:

Trump’s rise is the predictable and unavoidable consequence of glorifying stupidity and anti-intellectualism. In a beautiful display of karma, Sen. John McCain was attacked by Trump for being captured during the Vietnam War. It was McCain who gave us Sarah Palin in a cynical ploy to appeal to uneducated, racist Tea Partiers. You reap what you sow.

The only positive contribution Trump has made: sparing us another Bush in the White House.

As bad as Trump is, the alternatives could be worse for LGBT Americans, with Sens. Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio already spelling out plans for how to undo marriage equality and advance socalled “religious freedom” measures. Rubio, at age 44, is supposed to represent the future of the party.

Yet his positions on a range of issues, including LGBT concerns, smack of the 1950s, not a “new American century.”

It is simply unimaginable that an LGBT voter could support any of these candidates. The Log Cabin Republicans should sit out this election and hope for a Democratic landslide so the GOP can finally get serious about retooling for a new era. Q

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

news The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)

Hillary forced to speak ill of the dead Hillary Clinton has apologized for remarks she made prior to Nancy Reagan’s funeral praising both Mrs. Reagan and her husband for starting “a national conversation” on HIV/AIDS. Clinton credited Mrs. Reagan for, in a low-key way, starting a national conversation about HIV/AIDS, “before nobody would talk about it.”

After criticism from HIV/ AIDS activists, she backtracked, issuing an apology on Twitter, writing, “I misspoke about their record on HIV and AIDS. For that, I’m sorry.”

Clinton was lambasted by many LGBT advocates and activists who claim the Reagans remained silent about HIV/ AIDS during their tenure in the White House.

SCOTUS Bitch Slaps Alabama on Adoption The US Supreme Court summarily reversed an Alabama Supreme Court ruling that refused to recognize a same-sex adoption granted in the State of Georgia.

The high court’s opinion was issued, without a dissenting opinion, in a judicial shout out to the Full Faith of Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution.

Kate Kendall, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, posted on social media, “This is a really

big deal, one of our most important cases ever.”

The case involved two women who adopted children in Georgia, but separated in Alabama. One parent sued for visitation and was denied in Alabama, with the Alabama Supreme Court refusing to accept the Georgia authorized adoption.

SCOTUS said the Georgia law took precedence and this was a clear case of the full faith and credit clause trumping state law on Adoption Rights.

Arizona HS Students Stand Up To Bigots Students at Independence High School in Glendale, Ariz. showed their support for fellow LGBT classmates, May Kieu and Dorothy Dutiel, both 15-year-old sophomores, who died in what police believe, was a murder-suicide pact.

Their support came after anti-LGBT demonstrators showed up at the high school shouting “homosexual relationships are hateful” and “we know that these kids hate themselves,” and other slogans.

Students at the school shouted back at them and the following day students wore rainbow attire, carried posters and spoke out to show support for LGBT relationships.

little hints but there was. At least I was playing romance.”

He said that in the cockpit he was playing it as if there was a deep romantic bond.

Another reason to love Adele Adele does not give a crap about gender norms.

Pictures of her three-yearold son Angelo dressed up as Anna from Frozen to go to Disneyland don’t faze her. On social media she has been criticized for allowing him to dress in an “Anna” outfit, with many accusing her of “turning her kid gay.” “I’ll always support him no matter what” was her response.

“I can’t wait to know who his best friends are going to be, who his girlfriend or his boyfriend is going to be or what movies he likes… Whatever my kid wants to do or be I will always support him.”

Fighting words Out gay boxer Orlando “Fenomeno” Cruz has a message for fellow boxer Manny Pacquiao: “Focus more on loving unconditionally and less on judging others.”

Manny Pacquiao saying gay people are worse than animals are fighting words to Cruz. Pacquio made the statements while campaigning to be elected to the Philippines National Senate.

Cruz, a professional boxer who has been “out” since 2012 recorded a message for You Tube: “Hi, Manny: For you to say that homosexuality is like animal sex is irresponsible. I am a homosexual. Are you sure you hate me for my lifestyle. I invite you to meet with me to get to know us as human beings first and I guarantee you will think differently. Maybe afterwards we can do a sparring session.”

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“I think it’s very subtle romance that’s happening,” Oscar Issacs (Finn) told Ellen last month. “You have to just look very closely you have to watch it a few times to see the

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

Utah Legislative Session wrapup Yet another legislative session is history, and the LGBT community was largely left alone. But we also couldn’t progress any issues, either.

Amendment 3 and revising existing anti-gay marriage wording Rep. Kraig Powell, R-Heber City, spent a great deal of time combing through Utah law to find references to “husband and wife,” and updating them to include same-sex couples, following the U.S. Supreme Court ruling for marriage equality.

He also sought to start a constitutional amendment to overturn Utah’s Amendment 3.

“My proposal is simply to remove that from the Utah Constitution so that it is no longer on the books,” he said.

Few in his party, however, had the stomach to pass such bills, preferring to hold onto the discriminatory language. This is similar to efforts to remove sodomy restrictions that remain on the books, but are unenforceable, after the same court’s 2003 ruling that those laws were unconstitutional.

Conservative groups rallied legislators to resist such bills.

“There is no need to change Utah’s statutes to conform to the Supreme Court’s misguided marriage ruling.

The State is abiding by the ruling, so a change of statute won’t change its practices,” the Sutherland Institute released in a statement.

“The people of Utah didn’t make this decision, judges did,” Utah Eagle Forum president Gayle Ruzicka told FOX 13. “Utah’s constitution supports (traditional) marriage and that’s the way it should stay.”

His constitutional amendment bill didn’t even make it so far as to receive a bill number before he abandoned it.

The 61-page HB299 Marriage Revisions Bill was drafted, but was never heard by any committee.

Same-sex adoption Before you think that Rep. Powell is somehow pushing for LGBT rights, you might need to know that he also drafted a bill that gave preferential treatment to husband-wife couples.

HB382 Parentage Amendments added,

“In determining the placement of a child based on the child’s best interests, the court or the division may take into account the gender or genders of the prospective adoptive parent or parents.

“Between an opposite-sex couple and a same-sex couple, all other things being equal, the judge would grant preference to rewarding custody” to a heterosexual couple, Powell explained.

“I understand this is politically controversial. It’s a real hot potato politically, but I think it’s the Legislature’s job to take on these hard questions.”

Troy Williams of Equality Utah said the bill was “clearly unconstitutional.”

“It violates equal protection, and court after court across this nation has rejected Powell’s position that samesex parents are inferior to [heterosexual couples],” Williams said.

This month, it turns out, the Supreme Court unanimously and without comment overruled a similar case in Alabama.

Once again, the bill was never heard by a committee and, therefore, failed.

A pro-LGBT adoption bill Rep. Angela Romero, D-Salt Lake City, sponsors a bill that would change language such as “man” and “wife” to gender-neutral terms such as “spouse” to bring Utah current with the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality. Without the change, she said Utah could see lawsuits from same-sex couples that are looking to adopt or foster children.

“For us to deny them a right because of who they love is ridiculous,” she said.

But several conservative lawmakers on the House Judiciary Committee said that the high court’s ruling only declared who can get married.

The committee meeting got uglier as chair LaVar Christensen, R-Draper, interrupted speakers presenting the bill and threatened to end the meeting without hearing the bill if those who objected called him out of order. He, indeed, did end the meeting before the bill went to vote.

The bill was brought before the com-

mittee two weeks later and, on a 5-5 vote, failed to go onto the House floor.

Ignore SCOTUS ruling Rep. LaVar Christensen, R-Draper, filed HB393 Sovereign Marriage Authority — hoping to grant the state sole authority over “domestic relations within the state,” including marriage, child welfare and adoption. The bill could ignore several Constitutional issues, including the 14th Amendment, which the marriage equality ruling largely based itself on.

The bill was placed on the agenda of the House Judiciary Standing Committee, which Christensen chairs, but it was not considered, thereby failing.

Public accommodation Sen. Jim Dabakis, D-Salt Lake City, introduced a bill that would have made it illegal for Utah businesses, such as bakeries and photography studios, to discriminate based on sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

He pulled it before it received a committee hearing because he said he wanted to focus on getting the hate crimes bill passed. Dabakis said the LDS Church’s statement wasn’t a factor in putting public accommodations on ice.

“You only have the troops and the force to concentrate in so many places,” he said. “We put it up the flagpole. It was introduced. It was part of the discussion, and that’s good.”

Hate Crimes The only LGBT-related bill to reach a floor vote was a hate crime bill sponsored by Sen. Steve Urquhart, R-St. George. Urquhart, in an impassioned speech blamed his Church for releasing a statement for turning the Senate against the measure.

Sen. Daniel Thatcher, R-West Valley City, says he will not only carry the bill next year, but pass it. Proponents of the bill failed in the messaging, he said. People, he said, presumed they know what hate crimes means without reading the legislation.

“This is not a gay issue. This is a criminal justice issue,” Thatcher said. Q

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

The Supreme Court delivers a win for gay adoption Most front-page Supreme Court stories involve fraught cases, closely divided votes and biting dissents. But the justices achieve unanimity much more often than they find themselves split 5–4 (or this spring, with their depleted bench, 4–4) and occasionally those unanimous rulings are big news. Such is the case with V.L. v E.L., an interstate dispute involving a row between two women who were sweethearts for nearly 17 years and co-parents for 13 years before their falling out in 2011. In an unsigned 6-page “per curiam” ruling this week, the Supreme Court, without dissent, upbraided the Alabama Supreme Court for failing to honour a neighbor state’s adoption order that gave V.L. and E.L. joint custody of their children 9 years ago.

HERE ARE THE FACTS. E.L. and V.L. began a relationship in 1995; E.L. gave birth to a child in 2002 and to twins in 2004. Three years later, V.L. legally adopted the children during the couple’s brief stint living in Georgia (where the law was friendlier to gay adoption), and E.L. fully consented to joint custody. But when the relationship ended in 2011, E.L. decided she did not want her former partner to share responsibility for the children any longer and tried to prevent V.L. from visiting them. After V.L. secured an order from an Alabama court giving her visitation rights every other weekend in 2014, the birth mother upped the stakes, saying that the Georgia court was not authorised to award the adoption in the first place.

The Alabama Supreme Court agreed with E.L., stripping V.L. of her parental rights. The Georgia court had misapplied Georgia law, the Alabama Supreme Court said, nullifying the three adoptions in Alabama and giving the birth mother exclusive custody.

Normally, the full faith and credit clause of the constitution precludes one state from secondguessing the merits of other states’ laws and legal decisions,

and on March 7th, the Supreme Court reminded Alabama of its obligation. “A state may not disregard the judgment of a sister State because it disagrees with the reasoning underlying the judgment or deems it to be wrong on the merits”, the justices wrote. “On the contrary, ‘the full faith and credit clause of the constitution precludes any inquiry into the merits of the cause of action, the logic or consistency of the decision, or the validity of the legal principles on which the judgment is based.’”

Alabama must accept Georgia’s adoption orders as binding within its borders.

Though the discredited decision from the Alabama high court turned on procedural arcana, the agenda fueling the ruling was unmistakable in a concurring opinion from one judge. Alabama, he wrote, “has a legitimate interest in encouraging that children be adopted into the optimal family structure, i.e., one with both a father and a mother”. This judicial preference for a traditional family echoes a ruling from 2002 in which Roy Moore, Alabama’s controversial chief judge, wrote that “the homosexual conduct of a parent … creates a strong presumption of unfitness that alone is sufficient justification for denying that parent custody of his or her own children or prohibiting the adoption of the children of others”.

Same-sex parents are “an inherent evil against which children must be protected.”

The outcome of V.L. v E.L. was apparently obvious to all eight justices, who skipped the briefing and argument phases, granting certiorari and reversing the Alabama Supreme Court in one decisive fell swoop. This amounts to an embarrassing rebuke and sends a signal to judges nationwide that seeking legally dubious ways to attack gay rights will not be tolerated by and of the justices in the Supreme Court. Q

165 S Main Street, Suite 200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Q

mmunity

Alternative Garden Club celebrates spring The Alternative Garden Club will be holding its annual Spring Potluck. Attendees are asked to bring an entree, side dish, salad, or dessert to share.

The Alternative Garden Club is a friendly society for LGBT persons and their straight allies who are interested in learning more about gardening and the natural environment. It meets the first Wednesday of every month. Membership is $20/year, but newcomers are always free to come check out the club and meet the group.

WHEN: Wed. April 6, 7:30pm WHERE: Sugar House Garden Center, 1602 E 2100 South INFO: bit.ly/altgarden, altgardenclub@gmail.com

Queer Prom: Welcome to Wonderland This year’s Queer Prom theme is Welcome to Wonderland. Those 14 to 20 years of age of any persuasion are welcome to this lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender and ally annual dance.

Purchase the tickets at the Utah Pride Center or on-line at the link below.

WHEN: Sat., April 16, 8pm to midnight WHERE: The Leonardo, 209 E 500 South TICKETS: $4 in advance at bit.ly/queerprom16 or $10 at the door

‘Pretty In Pink’ screening It’s the 30th anniversary of one of the most influential 80s teen movie, Pretty in Pink. If the thought of a 30-year anything makes your hair curl into a tight spiral perm then you need to join. Revel in your cherished teen memories, dance with the 80’s DJ. A commemorative photo of you and your dates is included with every ticket.

Sadie Hawkins, Morp, Spring Formal and of course retro prom attire is requested, encouraged, and may even be rewarded.

WHEN: Weds. April 6, 7pm dancing, 8pm screening WHERE: Tower Theatre, 876 E 900 South COST: Tickets start at $20, $50–75 for VIP balcony hosted by Red Rock Brewing Co. INFO: info@slfs.org

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

Team Try-Angles to raise funds for MS at Best Dam Bike Ride Team Try-Angles is the only official LGBTand-Friends team for the Bike MS cycling event held at the end of June in Logan, Utah. All money raised goes to the Utah chapter of the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation to fund programs for those living with MS, and research to find a cure.

This event has something for everyone, whether you’re just learning or are a veteran rider. On mostly flat terrain, tons of rest stops and different route/mileage options, this ride is about having fun. If you’re bi(cycle)-curious, we can help you get started with everything from tips on the proper gear to training rides.

WHEN: June 25-26, 2016 WHERE: Cache County Fairgrounds in Logan, UT REGISTRATION FEE: $50* (discount codes frequently available. Contact team) Fundraising Minimum: $250* REGISTER: bit.ly/tta2016 INFO: teamtryangles@gmail.com

Third Friday Bingo at First Baptist The Matrons of Mayhem return to First Baptist Church for Third Friday Bingo. Come early to get a good seat. This month’s charity is another crowd favorite: Salt Lake Men’s Choir.

WHEN: Fri. Apr 15, 7pm WHERE: First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E COST: $5 first card, $3/addl INFO: facebook.com/matronsofmayhem.slc

Ogden Pride begins planning The Ogden Pride Board of Directors invited you to help brainstorm ideas for the 2nd Annual Ogden Pride Festival, which will be held on Aug. 6. Everyone and every idea is welcome, organizaers say.

WHEN: Sat. April 2, 3–6pm WHERE: The Pleasant Valley Branch Weber County Library, 5568 S Adams Ave. INFO: facebook.com/OgdenPrideInc

Meetup in Provo Hang out in Utah County with your Provo Pride family while supporting an LGBT friendly restaurant in Provo.

Meet-ups give a chance to get to know each other, make new friends or just hang out with the Provo Pride friends.

WHEN: Thurs., APRIL 14, 7pm WHERE: Cafe 300, 465 S Univ. Ave, Provo

Neighborhood caucuses are the first step in election process Caucus night across the state of Utah is Tuesday, March 22 and is the first step in selecting all partisan races on the 2016 ballot.

Sometimes called neighborhood caucus night or mass meetings, the meetings are annual neighborhood gatherings where parties elect leaders at the grassroots level.

This year, votes will also be taken for the national presidential race. Registered Republicans can participate in the GOP primary, and anyone can participate in the Democratic and smaller party races.

After voting in the presidential preference poll, caucus attendees will meet with others in their party in their area to elect precinct officers and delegates to our county and state conventions. These delegates will vote on who will be on the ballot in state and county races. Each party has different rules on how this happens, but the goal is to present one party nominee on the ballot.

Your caucus night location depends on the political party you want to caucus with and the legislative house district you live in. Locations and times are all posted at utah.gov/government/caucus.html.

You may register to vote at the caucus meetings as well as a first-time voter, a lapsed voter or one who recently moved.

Gay Native American Wyoming man dead in apparent suicide A gay Native American man has been found dead in Wyoming, in an apparent suicide after he reportedly endured years of bullying.

Trevor O’Brien, 20, was found dead about 10:30 p.m. March 8 in a park in Gillette, Wyo. Gillette Police Department officers said O’Brien took his own life.

Police said they’re investigating reports of homophobic harassment directed at O’Brien, who had previously reported that his car was defaced with an antigay slur in 2012. “They put a disparaging word commonly used for homosexuals on the car,” Lt. Chuck Deaton said.

Other posts from O’Brien deal with mistreatment he suffered for being gay, and one photo shows him with scratches on his face, apparently from a fight. Family members say O’Brien “felt he had no one to turn to for help.”

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

Utah Pride Festival calls for awards nominations Organizers of the 2016 Utah Pride Festival are requesting nominations for two annual community awards to be presented during the 2016 Utah Pride Festival. Nominations are requested from the community-at-large for the following prestigious awards: The DR. KRISTEN RIES COMMUNITY SERVICE AWARD: Established in 1987, this award was first presented to Dr. Kristen Ries for her humanitarian efforts in dealing with the AIDS crisis, and forever named in her honor.

This award recognizes outstanding service to the greater lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community in Utah, and is given to individual(s) who are dedicated to continuing that legacy of service. Those who receive this award are role models for Utah’s LGBTQ+ community, and like Dr. Kristen Ries “exemplify everything the award has stood for: compassion, leadership and courage.” The recipient is chosen by past recipients of the award. Some of the most recent recipients include Doug Fadel, Stan Penfold, Walter Larrabee, Mark Swonson, Michael Aaron, Valerie Larabee, Brandie Balken, Mark Lawrence, Fran Pruyn, and Courtney Moser.

The PETE SUAZO POLITICAL ACTION AWARD: Established in 2002, this award was named in honor of Senator Pete Suazo for his tireless attempts to pass Hate Crimes legislation in Utah paired with his continual efforts to remind the Utah State Legislature of the great diversity found in our state.

This award is presented to an elected Utah official (past or present) who has demon-

strated an exceptional commitment to equal rights for the LGBTQ community of Utah through legislation, policy or declaration.

The recipient is chosen by a committee including leaders of Equality Utah, Stonewall Democrats, Log Cabin Republicans, Human Rights Campaign and the Utah Pride Center. Award recipients include Mayor Rocky Anderson, Rep. David Litvak, Sen. Karen Hale, Mark Shurtleff , Paula Julander, Rep. Carol Spackman­-Moss, Governor Jon Huntsman Jr., Rep. Christine Johnson, Mayor Ralph Becker, Mayor Ben McAdams, Rep. Rebecca Chavez­-Houck, Sim Gill, and Sen. Jim Dabakis.

Award recipients will be recognized during a Utah Pride Festival event at The Leonardo on Thursday, June 2. Recipients will also be honored at the annual Utah Pride Parade on Sunday, June 5.

Nominations for both awards are due by April 8 at 5 p.m. and can be made online.

Nominations should include the name and contact information for the individual making the nomination, the name of the individual being nominated, the name of the award the for which the individual is nominated, and a narrative (100 words minimum) to justify the nomination. Q Additional details for the Festival events are available on the Utah Pride Festival website at utahpridefestival.org or by emailing Jon Jepsen at awards@utahpridefestival.org.

Salt Lake City tops LGBT growth in country over past 15 years ConsumerAffairs.com analyzed U.S. Census data and Gallup polling information to model the movement of the LGBT community from 1990 to 2014. The overall trend is striking. In 1990, the LGBT population was concentrated in coastal metropolitan areas and other safe havens—cities like San Francisco, New York, Seattle, and Atlanta.

By 2014, LGBT hot spots cropped up in some seemingly unlikely places: Salt Lake City, Louisville, Norfolk, Indianapolis, and other red state cities.

In fact, Salt Lake City topped the list as fastest growing LGBT population in the country.

“What you’re really seeing is reflective of other national trends,” said ConsumerAffairs content manager Ryan Daly.

“Specifically, it lines up with people—especially young people—choosing less to

live in huge, expensive cities, which were traditionally friendlier toward LGBTQ individuals, and choosing instead to make lives for themselves in small and mid-tier cities in the middle and southern states.”

But these economic motivators are compounded by a slow wave of social and legal change. In 2009, Salt Lake became the first Utah city (and among few nationwide) to pass LGBT housing and employment protections.

The trend could also point to another reality: In 1990, more LGBT people in larger cities were open about their sexuality, where those in Salt Lake and other conservative cities were not. As more people accept LGBT lives, more may be open to answering surveys more honestly. Q The full report can be found at bit.ly/lgbtmoving

Millcreek Gardens

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

Quotes

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

“As LGBT Mormons, our lives are unusually full of people who want to share their opinions about how we should live. Most days it seems we can’t be gay enough for the LGBT community, nor Mormon enough for our LDS friends and family.

“

—Openly LDS and gay Mitch Mayne

“There are no divisions between a straight soldier and a gay soldier. My soldiers can count on me to never abandon them in the field, and I can count on them ... But this week – I was abandoned in the field.

Not by my soldiers or by my commanding officers, but by the Israeli government. The same government that asks me to go to battle and maybe lose my life, had refused to pass a law that would equate the status of a gay bereaved family to that of a straight family.”

— 25-year-old Second Lieutenant Omer Nahmany in response to Israel’s failure to pass a batch of LGBTQ legislation

“

I’m 23 percent gay. We worked it out did the calculations. I’m 23 percent gay. There are times I go down to 17, sometimes I’m 31, it depends on the situation.

When I was doing Borat and I had the testicles at my chin, I was 31.”

—Sacha Baron Cohen, who brought flamboyant stereotype Austrian fashionista Bruno vividly to life, in a new interview with Marc Maron

Republicans in turmoil

Editor: I never thought I’d say this, but I feel for the Republican Party. Over the years there have been many Republican candidates for president who were anathema to me, but never before have there been more who are anathema to other Republicans.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) recently said about Republicans’ choices, “Nominating Donald Trump or Ted Cruz could prove fatal for this party. It’s like being shot or poisoned. What does it really matter?” More recently Mitt Romney, the last Republican presidential nominee said, “If we Republicans choose Donald Trump as our nominee, the prospects for a safe and prosperous future are greatly diminished.” He added “Think of Donald Trump’s personal qualities: The bullying, the greed, the showing off, the misogyny, the absurd third grade theatrics. You know, we have long referred to him as ‘The Donald.’ He’s the only person in the entire country to whom we have added an article before his name, and it was not because he had attributes we admired.”

Members of the Log Cabin Republicans are running as delegates to the Republican National Convention on an uncommitted slate. They clearly have a hard time supporting any of the candidates who collectively are a disaster on LGBT issues.

Sen. Ben Sasse (R-Neb.) put up a lengthy Facebook post going after the Republican Party frontrunner for the fact that his “relentless focus is on dividing Americans and talking like he’s running for king.”

Former New Jersey Republican Gov. Christine Todd Whitman said, “While I certainly don’t want four more years of another Clinton administration or more years of the Obama administration, I would take that over the kind of damage I think Donald Trump could do to this country, to its reputation, to the people of this country.”

I don’t remember this kind of dissension within the Republican Party in the past. There is a palpable fear in Republicans I know who believe if Trump is the nominee the Republican Party will not only lose the White House and the Senate but possibly even the House.

There is much discussion about who is to blame for the condition of the Republican Party today.

Some believe it is the rise of the Tea Party; others blame the racism incited by attacks on President Obama. Some blame the party elders for doing nothing and stonewalling all legislative efforts to move the country forward. It will most likely take years to bring the party back to a point where rational conservatives and moderates who made up the GOP in the past can once again take it back

BRIGHAM SMITH Grantsville

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april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorial

Eating disorders in the trans* community

BY MIKKI ENOCH

Many in

this community know me. I am the reigning Ms. Gay Pride of the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. I sit on the board of directors of the RCGSE. I am a disabled veteran. I am a transgender woman. I have an eating disorder. Why does this matter and why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because eating disorders are a common issue in the transgender community.

The topic of addictions in the LGBTQ community commonly addresses the adverse effects of alcohol and illicit drugs, but the deadliest kind of mental illness is largely ignored: eating disorders.

Modern research suggests eating disorders, drug addiction, and alcoholism possess many similarities. Under normal conditions, the brain’s pleasure centers respond to behaviors such as being in love, exercise, and general health, but they can also be falsely stimulated by artificial substances and behaviors with drugs, alcohol, and food abuse.

Eating disorders come in many varieties. The most common are anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge eating, but others exist. The stereotype of the rich, white co-ed who wants to be thin doesn’t accurately represent the spectrum of eating disorders. Unfortunately, this image of eating disorders ignores the reality shown by recent research that there is a significantly greater risk for eating disorders for transgender people than their cisgender peers.

For both transgender people and people with eating disorders, the way the body looks and works are commonly distorted in their minds.

Both groups may be affected by societal expectations of how their bodies should look.

Transgender women may desire to lose weight to meet an ideal of feminine beauty through thinness. Transgender men may desire to prevent the development of female sex characteristics such as breasts or larger thighs or to suppress a menstrual cycle.

My reasons for the development of my eating disorder are complex, but my attempt to receive culturally competent treatment isn’t that unusual. I am currently in one of the few eating disorder centers that specifically addresses eating disorders for the LGBT community.

When I think my body doesn’t meet the ideals of a feminine body, I like my body thinner because I see more curves. In reality, the shape I see isn’t female; it is malnourished. I see curves of my hips, but the reality is that my bones are showing. I didn’t want this when I started losing weight from Crohn’s Disease and a gluten allergy. I had initially cut back how much I was eating to prevent pain and nausea. Weight loss is common with Crohn’s Disease because it can affect the way the body absorbs nutrients. However, I became addicted to the new shape that I pictured in my mind and continued to restrict my food intake.

With the help of my

physicians and mental health providers, I have been able to get the treatment I need. I am in a small group of transgender women who receive care in a place where my gender is respected in and out of treatment. In my first center, I was initially told I would be housed according to my “biological sex,” ignoring both my identified and legal gender.

The second center is still learning how to house according to identified gender, but they are doing it by ensuring that all roommates of transgender clients are asked before room assignment.

Having my gender identity respected makes me better able to work toward recovery. I am able to think about my personal history, which includes many traumas, more than I even care to accept. I talk

about why I don’t want to eat, not about how important it is to be seen for who I am instead of how they choose to see me My treatment helps me work toward being able to return to my life and my goals. I want to serve my communities. I want to enjoy time with my family and friends. I can see this happening for me, but I know many suffer in silence.

I hear transgender people talk about losing weight and I now cringe. I hear people talk about hating their bodies and I shiver. I am not saying I don’t still feel the same way, but I now know how much I am damaging my mind and body when I act upon those urges. I hope other transgender women with eating disorders get the help I am getting and learn how to live and at least not hate their bodies. Q

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

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BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

A recent

episode of This American Life featured a gay teenager who was totally gay for Donald Trump. This kid’s parents were totally opposed to him being gay and he cited his number one issue as being marriage equality.

He believed wholeheartedly that Trump supported marriage equality (he doesn’t). And even after being confronted with evidence that Trump has opinions to the contrary, the kid basically said that Trump pretends to be anti-gay to score points with conservatives, but that he doesn’t really feel that way.

And maybe that’s true. But, as John Oliver pointed out about Trump’s racism, he’s either racist or pretending to be and after awhile there isn’t any difference.

The same goes for whether or not Trump is hostile to gays. You can only pretend to be anti-gay for so long before you’re anti-gay.

So why is there so much confusion about where Trump stands on issues of LGBT equality?

Well, for one thing, the contenders for the GOP nomination are basically an anti-pride parade.

Especially Ted Cruz, who can make anybody standing next to him look like a rainbow flag waving PFLAG member.

But there’s also the fact that Trump doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to quell the confusion.

During a March 5 press conference, reporter David Martosko asked Trump to clarify his stance on marriage equality and Obergefell v. Hodges, the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality.

And Trump wouldn’t do it.

“Well, I’ve made it very strong.

We have policy on it, and I’ve said it very, very strongly, and I think you know it,” Trump responded to Martosko. “And it’s all done and, you know, how many times do I have to say it? It’s like, as

an example, what is my position on 900 different things? I’ve said it 150 times. We’re not here for discussing that. But everybody knows how I feel on it.”

Well thank the lord that’s cleared up. It’s exactly his position on 900 different things.

Everybody knows! The end!

In all seriousness, I honestly thing that Trump’s brain kind of resets itself in the middle of his sentences, much like how a space heater automatically turns off if it gets tipped over. While this might keep his brain from catching on fire, it also prevents him from making any sense.

To be clear, Trump has never come out in support of marriage equality. In fact, Trump has very recently asserted that if he were elected, he would appoint conservative Supreme Court justices with the goal to overturn Obergefell, a point he alluded to in the same press conference.

“Today I was thinking, for the first time really thinking about this. We lost a great man,” he said of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. “He needs to be replaced, and you can only replace him with somebody truly great.”

Really? Trump had never really thought about the implications of Scalia’s replacement before?

I doubt it, but if true then it’s further proof that Trump has no business being president. Also note that Trump says nothing specific about who he would like to see replace the notoriously anti-gay Scalia, except that they be “truly great.”

If you think that Trump is LGBT friendly, then I have some Trump Steaks to sell you. Our rights have come so far (still a lot of work to do on transgender rights), so fast. We can’t risk decades of advancement on the wink-and-a-nudge evasiveness of a megalomaniac. Q

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

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lambda lore

In a galaxy not so far away

BY BEN WILLIAMS

The original

Star Wars had its Utah debut, May 25, 1977, at the old art nouveau Centre Theater that once existed on the corner of Broadway and State Street. Looking back at the movie it seemed to me to parallel the struggle between the Utah Gay Rebels and the LDS Empire. So humor me as I tell you a tale from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Once upon a time — 1976 to be exact — dark clouds hovered menacingly over the province south of the Point of the Mountain known as the land of Ybeu. In the lands north of Point of the Mountain in the City of Salt, the capital city of the Empire of Zion, the Emperor and High Priest of the “Church that shall Not Be Named” was desperately trying to rid the Empire of the nonconforming Gay Rebels, the guardians of the sacred “Homosexual Ring.” He feared the all powerful magic of the “Homosexual Ring” which he could not control and that he helplessly tried to completely eradicate.

The Emperor had all manner of weapons at his disposal, but the weapons of choice were electric shock torture for the body and excommunication for the soul. The Emperor of Zion and High Priest of the “Church that shall Not Be Named” used his mindless minions known as the “Powers That Be” and his Imperial Super Troopers to impose his will in the Empire of Zion, and his will was to destroy the Gay Rebels at any price.

As the black clouds loomed over the land of Ybeu, from which would descend the Imperial Supper Troopers at any moment, many of the Gay Rebels braced themselves for the full fury of the “Church that shall Not Be Named.” Many Gay Rebels had managed to use the “Homosexual Ring” cloak of invisibility to shield themselves from forces of the Empire. However Gays, without the knowledge of power of the Ring, were scorched by the “Church that shall Not Be Named” refiner’s fire and many succumbed to the inevitable death by suicides, unable to withstand the tormentors blast.

The Emperor of the Zionistic Empire had sent his Imperial troops to destroy a network of sexually active rebel Gays in the land of Ybeu. The onslaught was known as the infamous “Purge of 76.” The purge was so successful that a Ybeu Gay maestro blew his brains out rather than be taken alive, while

other Gay cadets lives were ruined and some also attempted suicide. During the Purge, Imperial troops in addition managed to infiltrate Gay Rebel cells demand that informants betraying their comrades or they would themselves be exposed to their families as Gay Rebels. The land of Ybeu was steamrolled over and subdued. It was held in the rigorous vice grip of a velvet glove that covered the iron fist of a “Powers that Be” minion, Overlord Governor Dallin of Oakes.

It was good times to be a snarky Ybeu Imperial Super Troopers for sure, with Gay rebel corralled and turned over for mass interrogations. Imperial Super Troopers had carte blanche to search outlying settlements, monitor and entrap unsuspecting rebels. The purge had the effect of driving the remaining Gay Rebels deep underground or into exile. Three surviving Gay Ybeu rebels, Steven Zakharias, Bruce Barton and Ben Williams — all of which knew friends who committed suicide or attempted to do so during purge — were some of the lucky few who were able to jettison various outposts until finding their way back to The Capital of Salt, heart of the Empire.

Wounded but not defeated these Rebels laid low until it was time to strike back.

To the north, in the Capital of Salt, a young Jedi named Obie-Ken Kline, a former Ybeu resistance fighter, was organizing the Gay Rebels. He had been a Ybeu freedom fighter but had rendezvous with others active in the Resistance Movement and had barely escaped the liquidation of the Gay Rebel in the land of Ybeu. In the Capital of Salt, Jedi Ken joined up with a fearless cadre of freedom fighters and was elected commander of Gay Freedom Central.

Even off the radar of the Empire, hidden in a corner of the City of Salt — home to desperados and derelicts — Freedom Central could not hold and failed from the lack of support from Capital City’s fearful Gays.

They lived in constant fear and exposure by the Empire’s snitches. Not to be defeated Obie-Ken Kline and others Jedi Knights continued to keep the resistance alive by forming the Gay Rebel Service Committee underground sending out messages of hope in the Open Door journal.

Although afraid, the siren song of the Redburn Sun Cantina lured Gays out, seeking an

evening or two of excitement and gaiety. The Cantina was the notorious haunt of dangerous disco characters of various orientations and genders. It was a place you would not want to bring your mother.

While the Emperor thought he had destroyed the Gay Rebels or relegated what was left to the land of Outer Darkness, an event occurred in 1977 that struck at the core of the Empire. About this time an underground Gay Rebel in the land of Ybeu named Cloy Jenkins had to attend a required malicious flagellating lecture spewed by an Empire professor named Reed Payne-in-the-Ass. Payne, a minion of the “Powers That Be” gave one heck of a rousing tirade against pansies, queers, and sodomites, only pausing own long enough to wipe the spittle from his chin.

Cloy, who just happened to be a Gay Rebel was really, I mean really, pissed off. He was steaming mad and better yet he was literate.

Cloy pondered and pondered and then prepared a pensive response to the homophobe’s diatribe. For good measure, Cloy solicited help from fellow Gay academians, Jeff Williams, Lee Williams and a closeted university lecturer named Howard Salisbury to help edit his red-hot smoking response to the incendiary anti-Gay rant.

Eventually Cloys’ counter attack to Reed Payne-In-the-Ass found its way to Jedi ObieKen Kline who plotted with other warriors to publish the paper. Using the all-powerful “Homosexual Ring” Obie-Ken, rabble rouser and sissy divine, approached Gay Rebels, Donald Attridge, Jay Bell, and others who worked in the Great White Phallus Tower, headquarters of the Empire. He convinced them to somehow finagled printing and mailing the Cloy pamphlet out of the Church Office Building by using their “Homosexual Ring” and the cloak of invisibility. This did, and soon copies of the anonymously circulated document soon arrived in the mailboxes of the Powers That Be within the Empire.

The Emperor was agog and furious simultaneously because the Gay Rebels who pulled off this incredible and heroic deed made it appear as though the pamphlet was a Bring ‘em Young University sanctioned publication and faster than you can say zip-a-dee-doodah, Cloy’s dialog was circulating among Generals and Guardians of “The Church That Shall Not Be Named.” This daring feat was a stab in the cold heart of the Empire. The Gay Rebels dared published a document challenging the very core beliefs of the Empire in regard to Gays and showed that the Empire was not invincible. Q Part Two: The Empire Strikes Back.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

queer shift

Romance— SHIFT I heard

BY CHARLES LYNN FROST

on NPR that Valentine’s Day is dying. It’s a close cousin to the tedious December holidays with all the commercialism and expenditures to hopefully obtain happiness and love. I am of the opinion that if you want a successful relationship, whether you are dating, living together or married, there are some simple things that far exceed the nonsense of candy, flowers, cards and dining out.

Important yearlong things to keep it hot, intimate, trusting, communicative and yes, romantic for the romantics of February.

I am no expert, however I have lived quite a life and have seen many a relationships both Queer and Straight, good and horrible, and ones that endure and last.

The type we all dream of.

Seven suggestions for love seekers of all ages.

1. CELEBRATE GOOD NEWS It turns out divorce isn’t as much about increased negative things as it is about decreased positive things. The positives are more and more important; to sum it up, the amount of fun couples have and the strength of their friendships are a strong predictor of their future. Get it, and do it — celebrate the good moments more. Almost all research shows that couples who regularly celebrate the good times have higher levels of commitment, intimacy, trust and relationship satisfaction. It’s not enough that your partner knows that you take pride in their accomplishments.

You have to show it. Making a fuss over the small, good things that happen every day can boost the health of your relationship.

2. THE 5-TO-1 RULE How many good moments do you need to make up for one bad one. Think about this: 5-to-1. You

don’t need to count every single positive and negative, but if they’re nearly equal, your chances of separation or divorce shoots way up. I always go back to the concept of the “emotional bank account.” For every withdrawal from a relationship, it takes five positive deposits to remain balanced. If this is challenging for you, or if you are a smart-ass like me, then keep count.

3. KEEP YOUR STANDARDS HIGH More and more people are told their expectations of marriage are too high. From observation I say the reverse: People who expect more, get more. Don’t settle for a second-rate marriage. People who have idealistic standards, who really want to be treated well and who want romance and passion from their relationship/marriage, end up getting that kind of marriage. People with low standards, who don’t expect good treatment, communication or romance, end up in relationships that don’t offer those things. People who hold their partners to a reasonably high standard have better marriages. If you expect a better, more satisfying relationship, you improve your chances of having one.

intimacy, it just means that married couples have a lot to gain by fostering their relationships with family (blood or chosen) members and friends.

it up, and play often.

7. EXCITEMENT

5. DON’T EXPECT YOUR SPOUSE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY Most happiness eventually returns to a natural baseline, even after very positive events like a wedding. Happiness lies within the individual and expecting a spouse to change that forever is unrealistic and unfair. Most people return to their own personal happiness regardless of ups and downs in the relationship.

6. HAVE MORE SEX Over the course of a relationship/marriage, desire can lessen.

Despite this, sex is healthy and has all kinds of biological and emotional benefits that should not be ignored. Over time, regular sex can improve your mood, make you more patient, dampen anger and lead to a better, more contented relationship. Most importantly remember the sex is adult ‘play,’ so play hard — spice

Couples don’t need more “pleasant” activities — they need more exciting activities to hold on to the rush they felt when they first fell in love. Exciting time together increases marital satisfaction. Decide individually, and as a couple, what excitement means. Protect your marriage by regularly trying new things and sharing new experiences with your spouse. Make a list of the favorite things you and your spouse do together, and then make a list of the fun things you’d like to try. Avoid old habits and make plans to do something new, different and exciting.

A few more soapbox suggestions: Tell your partner you love him or her. Show more ... much, much more affection. Show appreciation for your partner.

Share yourself. Be there for your partner. Give gifts (all kinds).

Respond gracefully to your partner’s demands and shortcomings.

Make “alone time” a priority. Q

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4. STAY CLOSE TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS Today marriage has become a two-person cocoon that we expect to get all our support and intimacy. That’s not healthy or realistic. Keep friends and family in the loop. Your marriage should be your primary relationship, not your only one. Don’t get me wrong, couple time is vital — carve it out, keep your promise to be together. However, too much togetherness is not necessarily good for couples. The way to strengthen a relationship/marriage is to put fewer emotional demands on each other. This doesn’t mean losing emotional

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alarming happened to me recently after a couple of years hanging out in the Wasatch Front. I was born and raised in the area and moved away for about 20 years to pursue fame and fortune. The first one never happened; the second came and went. At the risk of making myself seem ancient – I want to share the experience. The ‘alarming event’ happened to be - not as a visitor that sees ‘home’ as a temporary inconvenience created by a holiday or other type of reunion - that some of us try to avoid, but as the returned prodigal son. Not a round trip this time! After being gone for so long my perspective of this place had come full circle.

Once I got settled in and recognized more and more familiar places, I began to wonder about all of the people that were conjured up from digs, hang-outs and past relationships. I was confronted with the good and bad times that are essentially the foundations of who I am today. The glimpses of ‘years ago’ don’t come and go so quickly if they are repeated often enough in your mind. Fortunately, for memories sake, the decades I spent along the ‘Wasatch Front’ and the fact that change occurs at a glacial pace - some my haunts were mostly left unchanged.

The most obvious source to catch up on things were the places I cut my young gay teeth on - The Sun and The Trapp. In terms of worshipping and tithing - this was my church!

Unfortunately, I have lost a lot of friends from AIDS and other untimely deaths and the usual accidents and natural

causes that we have all experienced. I’ve lost a few friends and family members from some shoot-outs too but that’s another story. The unsettling thing (yes I’m getting there) is the number of people I should be finding that were a very big part of my life. A few close friends I have kept in touch with while living in Chicago and Dallas, but others not so much.

Because the Clubs and Bars are just not the places they used to be (or were taken out by tornadoes, fires or hostile takeovers); visiting them left me feeling empty and sad.

Mostly because they were, but also because the faces I was looking for weren’t there. So… I turned to social media and the internet. I assumed most people – straight and otherwise could be found using the big ‘www’. I was wrong. There are dozens and dozens of people I would like to reconnect with that just cannot be found.

There are hundreds of sources and I’m pretty good at researching just about anything that is elusive.

Out of frustration I visited a few cemeteries and the very real and permanent resting places of some people that were really important to me.

It made me feel better. What I can’t find are people that have moved or possibly passed away over the years. Either way there should be Facebook, Instagram or Linked-In pages or some kind of digital footprint - even a breadcrumb from a news article or posting on legacy. com. I guess I learned a valuable lesson – don’t count on technology to keep people in your lives. In the meantime I’ll keep looking for headstones. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorial

It’s Tax Season

BY SUSAN SOMMER, Lambda Legal Senior Counsel and Director of Constitutional Litigation

After

DOMA was struck down in 2013, the federal government recognized marriages of same-sex couples for tax purposes, although, in violation of the Constitution, many states did not.

Following the Supreme Court’s watershed decision in Obergefell v. Hodges ending statelevel marriage discrimination, we received questions from around the country about the income tax filing process and how Obergefell has affected same-sex couples.

Filing taxes is serious business, and everyone’s circumstances are different. You should consult a qualified tax advisor to help navigate your personal filing. The following information was jointly developed by Lambda Legal, the American Civil Liberties Union, Freedom to Marry, Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, Human Rights Campaign, the National Center for Lesbian Rights and the National Center for Transgender Equality. .

Q. How will the Supreme Court’s marriage ruling change how much I owe in my state income taxes?

A. The Supreme Court’s ruling means that states cannot purport to require married same-sex couples to “pretend” they’re not married for state tax purposes. Same-sex spouses who were married at the relevant time for determining marital status for tax filings must file both their federal and state income tax returns as married (whether jointly or separately).

Whether a couple who gets married or whose marriage is now recognized in their home state will owe more or less for any particular tax year depends on the couple’s specific situation, which may also change from year to year. A qualified tax advisor can help you calculate what makes most sense for you.

For federal income tax returns and in some states that have graduated tax rates, joint filing tends to favor married spouses with very different incomes, such as where one spouse earns little or no income and the other earns income to support the family.

Joint filers in this situation will generally, but not always, owe less income tax than if they filed as married filing separately or as single (unmarried) taxpayers. Where both spouses are high earners, being married may result in owing more income tax than had

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they remained unmarried. These differences tend to be less pronounced on state income tax returns when compared with federal. A tax advisor can help you determine how getting married would impact your income tax as well as whether, if married, you would be better off filing jointly or separately.

Q. What tax-related steps might a newly married or newly respected couple consider taking?

A. If you earn wages as an employee, you may want to consult a tax advisor about whether to change your filing status and claimed allowances on Form W-4 and the state equivalent, which may affect your withholdings. It may also be important to consult a tax advisor if you pay estimated income taxes on a quarterly basis about whether to change the amount of these payments.

Q. I paid more in state taxes than I should have because my marriage wasn’t recognized. Should I file for a refund?

A. Because already married couples have been filing their federal income tax returns as married persons, they may know that they have overpaid their state income taxes because the state did not respect their marital status.

There are statespecific procedures for seeking a refund. We recommend consulting with a tax advisor to determine if it makes sense for you to pursue a refund claim, including assessing whether it’s cost-effective to do so. Q

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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THEN COMES THE BABY

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

THEN COMES BABY Become a Foster Procter family

BY MICHAEL AARON

“I’m the eighth of nine in a huge LDS family,” said David Beach, an openly gay foster/proctor parent. “I am single. I used to share a two-bedroom apartment with a friend. Prior to doing this work I had your typical carefree college bachelor life.”

Beach drives a bus for the Alpine Summit Program, a school for students in state custody or are otherwise at risk.

“One of my kids got on my bus saying they’d finally found his dad. I responded, ‘That’s awesome!’ He said, ‘Not really, he’s dead.’ He started crying and gave me a hug. After a few minutes, he asked me if I would adopt him. It knocked the wind out of me.”

Beach had already contacted Come About Youth Services in Pleasant Grove, asking about becoming a foster. He called that day and got the process going.

CAYS focuses on placing children up and down the Wasatch Front with emotional or behavioral issues.

“We have somewhat of a unique niche in Utah county as a non-LDS-based, very open-minded and non-judgmental agency,” said Sean Camp, clinical director. “As a result we get a lot of referrals of GLBTQ youth who have difficulty being served adequately in mainstream homes, LDS or otherwise.”

“When these youth are placed with individuals and families that are comfortable with their self-expression, sexual identity, or belief system, their depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc. seem to clear up rather remarkably on their own,” Camp said. “Thus we are always looking for openminded, non-traditional families to serve our youth.”

Jody Valdez of Stepping Stones Child Placement Agency in Salt Lake City is also seeking LGBT families to foster.

“We thought when gay marriage finally went through that we would have samesex couples coming in looking to foster kids,” Valdez said. “But so far that hasn’t been the case.”

Valdez also has a number of LGBT kids to place and finds it difficult to put them in “traditional” homes.

“Your typical LDS family just doesn’t

get these kids,” she said. “It’s amazing how positive role models can help in these kids’ lives.”

FOSTERING IN UTAH Over 2,500 Utah children are in foster care.

As a foster parent, you’re part of a team of child advocates dedicated to helping the child and, potentially, reunifying a child with their parents. Around 55 percent of children who enter foster care return to live with their birth parents or another relative.

The kids that CAYS and Stepping Stones work with, however, tend to “age out” of the system, becoming adults on their own once they reach legal age.

When reunification is not possible, the foster family can make the commitment to the child permanent by adopting. Over 550 children were adopted from foster care in Utah in 2014. Most were adopted by their foster parents.

Foster care organizations in the state contract with the Utah Department of Human Services to place displaced kids with foster families. They also offer support and guidance through the process with state and local agencies, and other experienced foster families.

Children in foster care come from all backgrounds – they’re Caucasian, Hispanic, African American, Native American, Asian, or Pacific Islander. They range in age from birth to 19 years. Some are boys, some are girls. Two-thirds of the children have a brother or sister in foster care with them and would benefit from staying together.

BECOMING A FOSTER Camp says the process for each organization can be different. At CAYS, it starts with by meeting their director.

“We then go to their home with a licensed social worker, inspect to ensure safety and adequate space,” he said. (State law requires 80 square feet of space in a single bedroom or 60 square feet per child in a shared bedroom.)

“We require three verbal and three written references from unrelated acquaintances, medical clearance and training through our organization,” Camp continued.

The state also requires criminal background checks.

Foster parents can own or rent their homes, can be married or single, though in Utah if you are living together as a couple, you must be legally married.

Families receive a nominal daily stipend to help cover the additional costs of raising the child, and the child is covered through Medicaid for health insurance.

A caseworker oversees the child’s care and helps get the child and family any services they may need.

“Becoming a foster/proctor parent is by far the best decision I have ever made” Beach said. “I’ve wanted to be a parent for as long as I can remember, and now that dream has become a reality. I currently have two awesome sons and have a couple kids that have moved on from our program who I keep in touch with. I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else right now.” Q CAYS can be reached at 801-899-2076. Stepping Stones can be reached at 801-349-0128.

THEN COMES THE BABY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

who’s your daddy?

The baby in the baby carriage I once

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

asked my mom what her reaction had been to learning she was pregnant with me. Was it, “Hooray! I’m pregnant,” or more like, “You have got to be kidding.”? She looked at me and said, “Honestly, a little bit of both.”

And who could blame her? I am, after all, the youngest of six kids and a mid-life surprise baby.

Parenthood isn’t for everybody. Unlike most straight people, since pregnancy isn’t a by-product of physical intimacy for gay people, we need to go out of our way to become parents. And it can be a hard, emotional roller coaster.

I had an opportunity to speak with Dr. Sharon Katz, a psychologist and licensed psychotherapist, about what LGBT people should consider when weighing whether or not to become a parent.

“Treat the decision to become parents very seriously,” Dr. Katz told me. “I always tell people that once they are parents, everything they know to be true about their lives is no longer true. It is difficult for people to believe this, even educated, experienced people. They assume that they will just go about their lives and fit in a child and nothing else will change. “ It’s pretty easy to get wrapped up in the romance of parenting. I think we each have these fantasies of what it will be like to be a parent, and those visions are only

part of the story. Kids really are not the good natured, obedient, loving creatures television sitcoms tell us they are. There are arguments, homework, illnesses, and a myriad of other aspects of being a dad or mom that the Ricardos, Bradys, Huxtables or Tanners never warned you about.

Dr. Katz also advises that before you head down the road to parenthood, you talk about the decision a lot, and be in total agreement.

“Make certain that you both want to become parents. Becoming a parent because your partner really wants this, and you agreed to do it because you love them and want to give them this experience, may not work out well as time goes on.”

And being united is important. Because in spite of all of the advances and the acceptance we enjoy today, LGBT families still stand out. We have to try to prepare our kids – and ourselves – for the discrimination we face. It’s not easy. Last year when one of Gus’s friends told him he couldn’t come to our house because of his family’s “religious beliefs.”

So it’s important to discuss diversity in families from an early age – it helps kids to mitigate the feelings of being out of synch when they understand families come in all sorts of varieties. Dr. Katz says talking about diversity “Will help your children with their self-esteem in the face of a sometimes unkind world.” She even has a series of dolls that come in a rainbow of colors and family structures that help overcome that feeling of isolation.

When it boils down to it, becoming a parent is a scary proposition. It’s a responsibly that never ends. So it’s not for everyone, and that’s perfectly OK. But if you think you may be parenting material, it’s the greatest adventure you’ll ever experience.

All these years later, my mom is glad that she became pregnant with me. And I’m glad that a social worker called to tell us we were expecting. Because in spite of all the craziness that comes with fatherhood, every single day since the first moment I held my boys in my arms, I’ve said, “Hooray!” Q You can buy Dr. Katz’s dolls at diversefamilies.com.

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | THEN COMES THE BABY

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

mr. manners

Fuller house

BY ROCK MAGEN

As with

all new things in life, the idea of parenting can bring a surge of many thoughts and feelings. This list includes, but is not limited to: excitement, empowerment, sleeplessness, fear, turmoil, financial obligation and most often the question which will haunt you forever, “Would I be/ Am I a good parent?”

Becoming a parent takes an extreme amount of discipline.

That being said, I thought it would be best to share a few of the observations I have made along the way, and couple

them with a few “tips” if you’re considering it.

First. YOU MUST HAVE A STABLE HOME LIFE. If you still love going out every weekend, dancing until the lights turn on at the club, checking your dating app every ten minutes, and gauging your bedtime by the bartender making the “last call” announcement, then children will not be something on your immediate radar. Now, this does not mean that you can never go out again, but it does mean that you have to remember someone else is depending on you, and therefore

you need to be there for them.

Think of this as a opportunity to explore a more “G” rated or Disney life. Better brush up on he lyrics to “Let it go,” from Frozen.

Second. BE ABLE TO ­PROVIDE. Food, shelter and clothing. This means you are willing to give up designer brands. And, even more shocking, you will need to be ready to trade in your two-door sports car for a family-sized vehicle. You’ll also need to be ready to dress them accordingly- which means weather appropriate outfits even if

Rudy Florez / Hive Pass Rider since 2014

they don’t end up looking like a Barbie or Ken doll. Now, I am not telling you to resign yourself to a life of Wal-Mart and mini vans, you can still be cool while raising children.

Just think more Baby GAP and SUV and less Versace and supercharged turbo.

And last but not least, HAVE A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM. You’ll need friends and family in case you experience a melt down. You can trust and believe me when I say you will. My mother had a way of reminding us, ever so lovingly, that “she brought us into this world, and could just as easily take us out of it.” Make sure that you allow those who you rely upon for support to love and help you. Parenting will make you feel like a superhero but even superheroes need a day off.

Remember that in all cases of love you need to be prepared for drama. Children will throw you through the ringer. Just to give you a taste of what you are in for, imagine your best friend on their birthday after 20 shots, and you have to take them home and get them ready for bed. Every night of the week.

But in all honesty, parenting is extremely rewarding.

Whether you decide to adopt or have a surrogate, the reward of watching your children grow and excel will be some of your greatest memories and achievements. Just like all good things in life, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Q

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

THEN COMES THE BABY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

THE NIJINSKY REVOLUTION afternoon of a faun | games | the rite of spring artists of ballet west | photo by luke isley

april 15–23

801·869·6900 balletwest.org

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

The Gay Agenda

BY TONY HOBDAY

ANNUAL EVENTS

DANCE

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

The Parkites are at it again. Nether a year goes by that they can’t find a reason to satirize themselves … and no, that’s not a euphemism!

But don’t beg to get in, they need the mula to upkeep Justin Bieber’s new home.

Screw the groundhog, you know Spring has sprung when the dancers come out of hibernation. Rested, and full of nuts … wait, is that what groundhogs hoard? I mean I d0, but then again the nuts I collect have a masculine name attached to them. Anyhoo, it’s all about SALT, Squatters, Samba, Salt Lake Vocal Artists and Sergei. To learn more visit the website noted … or Wiki!

Drag King Paula and Drag Queen RuPaul (by the way, one in the same!) open and close this month of homonicity (fuck off, it’s a Wiki word!) in Salt Lake. In between you will “have the time of your life” at Utah Symphony’s Let’s Dance! But even more so with Zachary Quinto … trust me, he’s the ultimate voyage. Just sayin’!

1FRIDAY — SALT IN CONCERT

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm. Tickets $46, artsaltlake.org

FRIDAY, APRIL 22 PARK CITY FOLLIES

Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, times vary, through May 1. Tickets $29-45, ­ egyptiantheatrecompany.com

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Saturday.

Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

7THURSDAY — SPRING SEASON

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 3.

Tickets $35, artsaltlake.org

— CONEXAO (CONNECTION)

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 3.

Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

14THURSDAY — REVERE

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Apr. 16. Tickets $30, artsaltlake.org

CONCERTS Lady Gaga’s doppleganger hits the Utah stage this month … and no, I don’t mean Gene Geiber. If you don’t know Wiki, she runs in a circle with Tay Tay, KP and the Lorde. Damn I wish I was Ellie, I just run continuously in tiny circles with my shadow.

13WEDNESDAY — ELLIE GOULDING

Maverik Center, 3200 Decker Lake Dr, WVC, 7pm. Tickets $29.50-59.50, smithstix.com

Rihanna don’t wanna be baptized Momoanna but she’s willing to step on sacred ground … and no, I don’t mean Try-Angles. If you don’t know Wiki, she’s a Barbarian. Oh, wait … Barbadian!! Oh shit, am I going to get a beat down from Chris Brown?

27WEDNESDAY — RIHANNA

Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 S. Temple, 7:30pm. Tickets $27.50-123, smithstix.com

15FRIDAY — THE NIJINKSY REVOLUTION

1FRIDAY — PAULA POUNDSTONE 22FRIDAY — LET’S DANCE!

Abravanel Hall, 123 S. Temple, 7:30pm, through Saturday.

Tickets $18-64, artsaltlake.org

29FRIDAY — STAR TREK: THE ULTIMATE VOYAGE

Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU, 8pm.

Tickets $45-65, kingtix.com

30SATURDAY — RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: BATTLE OF THE SEASONS

The Depot, 400 S. Temple, 9pm. Tickets $37.50, 21+ only, smithstix.com

THEATRE When I heard this play by a Utah playwright was about politics, I thought Remington was Bernie Sanders and Weasel was Donald Trump, but it turns out that it’s about college politics, so Remington I guess is Annalise Keating and Weasel is Leslie Graham. Those betches have more nuts than I do (not Bernie and Donald Dumb Ass).

Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through Apr. 23. Tickets $19-87, artsaltlake.org

22FRIDAY — REMINGTON AND WEASEL

MOVIES

Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through May 7.

Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

Okay. There’s probably not much gayness about this movie because Channing Tatum isn’t in it, but what the hell, Melissa McCarthy can hoard my nuts any day. Oh shit, am I going to get a beat down from Ben Falcone?

8FRIDAY — THE BOSS

Theaters and times vary, through … depends on how good it is. Tickets $6.75-9.25.

31THURSDAY — KINGDOM OF HEAVEN Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through April 10.

Tickets $20, planbtheatre.org

UPCOMING EVENTS MAY 2, Violent Femmes, The Depot, smithstix.com JUNE 3, The Cure, Maverik Center, smithstix.com JUNE 29, Janet Jackson, Vivint Smart Home Arena, smithstix.com

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

A Mormon wife becomes a drag king in Plan-B’s ‘Kingdom of Heaven’ Alex Florence performed with the drag king troupe The Salt City Kings from 2004-2010 and with the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire from 2008– 2014. He shares his thoughts on Kingdom of Heaven.

Alex Florence

I recently had the pleasure of reading Kingdom of Heaven.

The journey of the central character MJ is, in some ways, similar to my own.

Kingdom of Heaven reminds me of my own adventure of finding my own inner drag king, an adventure that later helped me connect my brain, outside appearance and soul.

My drag adventure started at the very young age of 14 when I put on my first “show” for my brother and mother. My debut consisted of whatever I could find to wear that was flannel to channel my inner pop star (via a song by Joey Lawrence).

As it turns out, growing up in a very LDS home, with a mother who was and still is very strict on gender roles, my first performance was a flop.

Thoughts of freeing the me inside were suppressed for the next decade.

In Kingdom of Heaven, MJ is approached to perform, which sets her journey in motion.

Just like MJ, my journey began when I was approached to try out for a drag troupe at the age of 24. MJ and I both experienced a very real moment when she first put herself in drag and the thoughts of “Well, there I am!” surfaced.

I don’t want to give too much away other than Kingdom of Heaven isn’t about transitioning in the way you might think. We don’t know if MJ’s journey will take her as far as coming out as transgender. But we do know that her feelings of never quite fitting in to the typical LDS gender roles that have plagued her, her whole life, come to the surface.

Some who do drag enjoy the entertainment value of it, the art of illusion, allowing them to be the magician, letting the audience believe whatever they want to. For others, it is liberating to break out of the “norm,” gender role they are stuck in, helping them break down the barrier of what gender is or can be.

They are able to create or recreate the character or feelings they keep locked inside.

To be able to do bring all of this together and bring their drag persona to life is very empowering.

MJ finds confidence performing as a drag king; it helps her begin to see herself as she truly is. Isn’t that what we all want? For our family and friends to look at us and see our authentic selves?

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (book & lyrics

by Jenifer Nii, music & lyrics by David Evanoff), the first original musical in Plan-B’s 25-year history, receives its world premiere March 31-April 10. Go to PlanBTheatre. org for tickets and more information.

Equality Through Business

Open to corporations of all sizes, sole proprietors and independent agents regardless of sexual orientation, this is a great place to meet other professionals, make business contacts, promote your business and work for the enhancement of UtahGayChamber.com Utah’s gay and lesbian community.

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

In Good Company Alan Cumming on sappy songs, bisexuality and his proudest moments

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

As a child,

Alan Cumming cried as his older brother sang “Danny Boy” to him from across the bedroom they shared.

“He would do it to make me cry,” Cumming says, recalling his reaction to the Irish staple. “It’s just the emotion of the song. I’m Scottish, so the ‘pipes’ are kind of a direct route to my tear ducts.”

“Danny Boy” was the first song to break the singer-actor into pieces – but it wouldn’t be the last. There’d be Annie Lennox’s “Why” and Adele’s “Someone Like You” and Billy Joel’s “And So It Goes,” all of which are among the tear-inducing tunes on the performer’s

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

latest release, Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs: Live at the Café Carlyle.

And when Cumming cries, it’s no act.

Those are real tears. After all, this is not Broadway, where the actor has appeared in a mélange of shows including Macbeth and Cabaret, for which he won a Tony. Nor is this The Good Wife (he plays Eli Gold on the CBS show, which wraps in May).

It’s also not Spy Kids or Smurfs or his U.S. film debut, 1997’s Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. On that Carlyle stage, Cumming is only one person: himself.

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

You’re pretty naked on that album cover. Are you wearing anything? I’m not wearing anything! I was performing at the Carlyle and (photographer Jordan Matter and I) ended up texting dancers at 2 in the morning to see if they wanted to come over to the Carlyle and get naked. Two did, and we did that photo. Just took our clothes off at 2:30 in the morning.

How do you explain your appreciation for music that makes you cry? For me it’s about connecting personally. These songs are songs that have things in them that I can really understand. I feel my singing them makes people listen to them in a different way, maybe. But, really, they’re all songs that I felt compelled to sing because I connect to them in an emotional way.

Which one resonates with you most? I think it would be “Dinner at Eight.” I find that really quite difficult to get through some nights because I think about my dad. I do normally shed a tear during that song.

Yeah, it’s really difficult, and you have to go with it and understand that it’s emotional because it’s an emotional song and you’re connected to it and the audience is really with you. I’m not incapable of getting through the song and I am really crying, but I think that’s all right. It makes sense. It’s a song that’s gonna be hard to sing. As long as there’s no falling to the floor into a heap of tears, I think it’s actually all right to show your emotion. In a way, the whole show is about me showing my emotions.

The album’s coda is “The Ladies Who Lunch,” made famous by the late Elaine Stritch in Company on Broadway. Elaine was a beloved presence at the Carlyle up until she performed her last show there in 2013. Is your performance of the song in that space a tribute to her? Years ago I did a workshop with John Tiffany who directed me in Macbeth.

We did this workshop of Company, and a lot of the couples’ genders were changed, so I was playing the Elaine Stritch role. I sang that song in the workshop. I thought it worked really well, but ultimately it didn’t go any further. Then when I was doing this show I thought, “I can’t not sing that song at the home of Elaine Stritch.”

When I was doing Cabaret, in my dressing room I would always turn on Elaine singing “Ladies Who Lunch” as the last song. Whenever it came on, it was time to go. Everyone would be quiet and listen to the song and then at the end everyone

would go crazy and that was the end of the night. So, she has a very special place in my life in a lot of ways. By doing it in that venue, this is very much a tribute to her.

Your résumé is expansive. When a gay guy stops you on the street, which career endeavor of yours are they most likely to compliment you on? It’s very difficult to tell nowadays – it really is. You know, some mention the Romy and Michele thing. But now it’s really hard to tell. It may be my book (Not My Father’s Son: A Memoir); it’s a variety of things. With lesbians, I know it’s always gonna be The L Word.

Having accomplished as much as you have, what’s been a career highlight for you? The things I’m most proud of are the things that are the most personal, the biggest challenges. I thought I was never going to be able to do Macbeth on Broadway. I thought I was going to die. Doing Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs is really an amazing thing because I am sort of being myself. Also, my book a couple of years ago – that was a great sort of achievement because it was a terrifying thing to do. It was so vulnerable.

For me, personally, it’s the things that I might have failed at, or when I make myself really vulnerable in a personal way. Those are my best achievements.

ality to people who still don’t get it? I’m not here to change people’s minds about whether they believe in bisexuality. All I’m saying is that I think my sexuality and most people’s sexuality is gray. And yeah, I like cock. I love cock. But I also feel that I have an attraction to women. I’ve never lost it, actually. I’ve always been attracted to both sexes, and whether I act on it or not is not anyone’s business, really. I’m not going to close myself off to the possibility of experience just because society says we must stick within these rigid boundaries. I find it really self-hating that the gay community, which has been so bullied, are especially the ones who might be chiding people about their bisexuality. I think, let everyone be who they are.

The point I’m making is that it seems more ironic for a gay person to chide someone about their sexuality – they’re chiding all of us at heart. It seems particularly galling that that would be coming from a fellow LGBT person. I really do believe people today, especially young people, have a much more fluid idea about sexuality and gender, and I should think we’re in a really great place with the youth of today. It’s people who are a bit older who are still struggling with it.

What about ones that were not your best achievements – do you regret those projects? I don’t. If you’re happy where you are then it’s impossible to regret things, because everything you’ve done has made you who you are as a person and who you are at the moment. I get snarky journalists saying, “Why did you do this, blah, blah?” and I go, “Why do you think I did that?” Because it made money! People get a bit offended that you’ve done some commercial thing, but I did those things in order to do XYZ, (projects) that don’t make very much money.

So, I’m actually doing you a favor by doing those things that make money.

So I don’t really regret. I’m not a regretter. There are things I had a terrible time on, and at the time I was like, “Fuck, I didn’t know it was gonna be like this. I thought it was gonna be great fun,” but there were asshole people and the experience went wrong. Ultimately, there’s always something you can learn a lesson from. And nobody died, hopefully.

Reflecting on your early days as an activist: Why was it so important for you to start speaking out on LGBT issues? I have a voice.

I have a platform. I have a great life. I have a really great life, and I live the way I want to live. I am the person I want to be, and I feel like it’s my duty to take care of people who don’t have those opportunities. I have a personal connection to people who have been prejudiced against who are gay or bisexual or transgender. I’m Scottish and I grew up with fairness and justice. Where I come from, it’s very important that we adhere to making sure that everyone is looking after each other. So, it’s partly my genetic makeup (laughs), but also in the privileged position that I am in, I feel it’s my duty to give back and help other people along.

Being an artist is understanding other people and wanting to reach and connect with other people, so helping other people is absolutely a part of that. When there’s injustice and persecution, I can’t really live in a society with that going on and not do something about it. Q

As a bisexual person yourself, you’re known for being outspoken on bisexuality and gender fluidity. How do you explain bisexu-

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate. He once made Jane Fonda cry. He is at ­chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | BOOKS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

Reading Rainbows

Ten LGBT books to bide your time until Summer

BY MIKEY ROX

Reading list getting stale as we head into spring? Freshen it up with these nine LGBT novels, anthologies and web serials to make the winter blues melt away.

LUST & WONDER

BY AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS

In chronicling the development and demise of the different relationships he’s had while living in New York, Augusten Burroughs examines what it means to be in love, what it means to be in lust, and what it means to be figuring it all out.

With Augusten’s unique and singular observations and his own unabashed way of detailing both the horrific and the humorous, it is an intimate and honest memoir that his legions of fans have been waiting for..

KEPT

BY JIM ARNOLD

Young gay men George and Connor get more than they bargained for when they’re caught up in a Palm Springs real-estate scam that casts a dark and deceptive shadow on the otherwise serene desert scene in this neonoir mystery novel.

THE BEST PARTY OF OUR LIVES: STORIES OF GAY WEDDINGS

BY SARAH GALVIN

Galvin, who was previ ously author of the Wedding Crasher column in The Stranger newspaper, expands her audi-

Augusten Burroughs to sign his new memoir, Lust & Wonder Tuesday, April 5 at 7 p.m.

The King's English Bookshop presents New York Times bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs, who will read from and sign his new memoir, Lust & Wonder

ence with this series of essays derived from real interviews with same-sex couples that mimic the course of a wedding, from the point of popping the question and planning the big day to the romance and relief of the honeymoon.

ROB’S REBELLION

BY MARGARET FIELAND

In this adventure-packed sci-fi romance, Colonel Rob Walker risks his already-teetering familial relationships to negotiate a treaty between the Terran Federation and the Aleyni as new and unexpected relationships emerge.

BUNDLED UP

BY ANNABETH ALBERT

All three of Albert’s Portland Heat novellas – Served Hot, Baked Fresh, and Delivered Fast – are published together for the first time in this collection of novellas that offer tasty takes on gay dating, sex and romance in Oregon, all set in the city’s cafes, restaurants and bakeries to further whet your appetite.

SAVE ME

BY SARAH BETH JAMES

Jack, whose mother died when he was young and whose father doesn’t care much for him, clings to childhood sweetheart Stephen until infidelity drives a wedge in their relationship, ultimately pushing the vulnerable and unstable young man into drugs, drinking and a church that wants to help him “pray the gay away.”

WORKING BOYS

BY MILTON STERN

1511 South 1500 East, SLC For more information, contact Rob Eckman at 801-484-9100 or rob@kingsenglish.com

While technically not a book in the tangible sense, the online serial novel Working Boys, released in piecemeal by author Milton Stern, is a murder mystery of the erotic kind – a game of Clue among

escorts, if you will – that features all the hallmarks of a classic homo whodunit, like kidnappings, meth addicts and dead bodies that drop like your Calvins. Chapters one through 18 are currently available; a new chapter is published every month.

LONESOME TOWN

BY TOM MENDICINO

In the sequel to Mendicino’s adult novella KC, At Bat, lovelorn protagonists Kevin “KC” Conroy and Charlie Beresford cross paths as young adults both struggling to find their place in the world. Five years older and wiser, the once-familiar-but-confused friends try to reignite an old flame fueled by a more mature, if not skeptical, perspective.

THE GRAVE SOUL

BY ELLEN HART

Hart’s Jane Lawless Mysteries continue – this is volume 23, in fact – with Guthrie Hewitt, who plans to propose to local girl Kira Adler. But when a Thanksgiving trip home with Kira makes him uneasy – a result of her murderous nightmares – Hewitt enlists Lawless to crack the case.

CROOKED LETTER I

EDITED BY CONNIE GRIFFIN

Sixteen first-person narratives – coming out stories from a cross-section of LGBT southerners – comprise this revealing and remarkable collection of essays that provide a glimpse of what life is like for our brothers and sisters who grow up in the Bible Belt: how they cope with prejudice and injustice and subsequently find the courage to overcome it Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Mikey on Twitter @ mikeyrox.

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

the bookworm sez Soul Serenade

BY RASHOD OLLISON

C.2016, BEACON PRESS $25.95, 230 PAGES

Vinyl is making a comeback.

Those are five words that put a smile on a music aficionado’s face.

A CD isn’t the same, they say.

An MP3 is nowhere near as good. You don’t get the right sound unless you’re spinning a record, so vinyl is coming back – but, for people like Rashod Ollison in “Soul Serenade,” it never really left.

There was once a time when “Dusty” Ollison’s parents were happy.

He knows it’s true; he has evidence of it, in the form of a picture taken at the beginning of their marriage, which lasted thirteen years. When they split, he was old enough to witness but too young to understand, having become inured to the fights, the cheating, and the drinking at his home near Hot Springs, Arkansas.

After Ollison’s father fled his family – leaving Ollison’s mother with a ‘tween and two small children – he rarely returned. But he left a gift behind: stacks of vinyl.

Ollison says he remembers poking around music stores with his father, ogling covers, eager for approval of his taste in performers. Chaka Khan, Bobby Womack, Stevie Wonder, Ollison recalls fascination with their record labels spinning on the turntable. Michael Jackson gave him comfort, Aretha was a mood barometer, they all taught him about grown-up love through lyrics.

With his mother working two full-time jobs to keep food on the table, Ollison counted on

music to anchor him. It was his means of escape as his oldest sister took her rage out on him, as his family moved repeatedly, as he was bullied in school for “actin’ like a woman.”

He denied feminine gestures and a tender heart, but by age thirteen, he could no longer ignore that he was gay.

School, by then, had joined music as a thing of refuge; Ollison excelled at his lessons, achieved good grades, made friends, and expanded his playlist. As he grew, he also wondered about his father sometimes but was largely indifferent, even as the man lay dying.

And then an aunt told Ollison something that made him change his tune.

“Soul Serenade” starts where many good memoirs do: with a faded picture of a time that barely seems possible. From there, we’re surprised by a death that promises to taint much of what’s to come, all wrapped in family lore.

But don’t get complacent.

Author Rashod Ollison doesn’t allow any lingering. Soon enough, his story becomes angry yelling, a smack upside the head, profanity, TV-asbabysitter, fists and sore feet.

We’re taken from neighborhood to neighborhood as the lights are shut off, the rent isn’t paid, and he’s taunted with words that his sister has to explain. It’s chaos – but it’s also a darn good tale that it doesn’t dissolve into whining or poor-me-ing, testament to Ollison’s storytelling skills.

“Soul Serenade” is one of those books that sticks in your brain – not only for the suggested music, but because the memoir itself leaves its mark. And if that sounds like solid gold to you, then give this book a spin. Q

BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MUSIC

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

Get to know the Salt Lake Men’s Choir

BY KEN STOWE

Started

by thirteen men in 1982, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir is one of the state’s oldest membersupported arts organizations. Utah’s other choir is an integral part of the history of Utah’s rich arts culture, as well as a favorite of Utahns of all ages and backgrounds.

With almost cult following, there have been hundreds of members that have come and gone over the years.

In chatting with choir members, many of them have fond memories from performances that stretch from Idaho to San Francisco, Washington, D.C., and Sydney, Australia, among others. Like many choir members, I fulfilled my own need for selfexpression and camaraderie and joined the choir in the fall of last year. I was thrust into the rehearsal schedule of the annual Christmas Concert. I was an outsider trying to catch up with the rest of the group and completely intimidated by the talent around me. As a newbie I was able to blend into the background and without pre-conceived notions, learn about this dynamic group of people that were on a mission to carry on a 34-year old legacy.

The foundation of the SLMC is a rich and colorful tapestry – comfortable and reliable, built from decades of personal sacrifice, dedication and talent laid down without end or reservation. These elders and founders of the group have also managed to pull together a patchwork of newer and vibrant pieces of cloth — represented by more youthful men — that fortify this quilt with new and resilient threads made strong and proud by the sacrifices, struggles and loss of those that have sung so bravely and loud before them.

The background, diversity and promise of the group is astonishing. The musical talent – from formal education and earned experience — is on full display with each rehearsal and performance. The vocations of its members are as impressive as their personalities and backgrounds. There are international bankers, school teachers, hospital directors, environmental scientists, graphic artists, massage therapists, and full-time students with jobs that still find the time to contribute time and energy

most people would not give up. Needless to say, their lives are full.

These men are not left untouched by the ups and downs of their traditional and non-traditional families, including dramatic life changes such as marriage and divorce, chronic illness and personal loss. From its origins and into the present, the personal losses are experienced more frequently than the general population — amplified as many choir members are also life partners and husbands.

The choir is a family, providing decades of friendship, support and acceptance.

Whether for a season or a decade, the commitment to its members never wavers and no contribution goes unrecognized. The take-away for its membership is universal in terms of artistic fulfillment and growth and a sense of belonging. The friendships that are forged go on outside the innercircle of the choir and fulfill the original intention of an alternative to bars and unfriendly organizations.

There is a tremendous amount of work required to keep SLMC thriving and viable. As a non-profit, the choir requires the support of outside groups and a neverending quest for grants and contributions from the community and private businesses. Formally, the choir is supported by the Salt Lake County Zoo, Arts and Parks program, the Utah Division of Arts & Museums and the Salt Lake City Arts Council.

Beyond ticket sales, the choir raises funds though bingo, dunk tank barbecues at Club Try-Angles — hosted by the hilarious and completely inappropriate Matrons of Mayhem, promotional assistance provided

by QSaltLake and pianos from Daynes Music. Over the years, All Saints Episcopal Church has contributed rehearsal space without charge and the First Baptist Church provides a performance venue with great acoustics.

The choir is led by the long-time artistic direction of Dennis McCracken who is as gruff and stern as he needs to be to keep singers focused during rehearsals and polished for performances. Whether he

is delivering necessary correction when pushing the group to attain its potential — or is moved to tears when they do — he is the man singers look to, literally, to make them shine at concert time.

Although seemingly tireless, some of the choir’s leaders will eventually be moving on to enjoy much deserved R&R outside of their professional lives and immeasurable dedication to the choir. Current president, Wesley Brady, has been with the choir since 1982 when it had 20 members and has led the group through years of growth and challenges. He has seen the membership grow to 80 men-strong, has raised two sons (whom he used to bring to choir practice) and recently concluded a remarkable career with Shriners Hospital, also a philanthropic organization and by its nature comes with its own outside activities.

Brady also served 20 years with the Utah Army National Guard.

Like the colors in the iconic rainbow flag, this tapestry that is the SLMC is made up of familiar faces that serve as symbols of pride and accomplishment. They, along with patches of bright new talent, and those who are so important to the present with their own years of service and support, will keep the SLMC flag vibrant and flying strong.

After performing at Abravanel Hall, the Sydney Opera House and the 2002 Gay Games, to name just a few, SLMC will thrive and stand up to time and personal challenges. Adding to its usual calendar of events, including the spring concert — “A Broadway Convention” with a clever program peppered with songs from Oklahoma, Chicago and South Pacific, SLMC will be adding a fall concert to its schedule and participate once again in this year’s Utah Pride Festival.

The spring concert will take place April 29 & 30 at the Salt Lake Masonic Temple, 650 E. South Temple. Show time is 7:30 and tickets ($15) can be purchased online at brownpapertickets.com, among other places. Q Salt Lake Men’s Choir can be found on Facebook, Instagram and saltlakemenschoir.org.

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

THEN COMES MARRIAGE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FILM

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

GRANDMA Cool if we just let Lily Tomlin play every spunky lesbian grandma? Yeah?

Thought so.

The iconic comedianactress is such a fire hose of sass and bottled-up sadness in the little godsend Grandma that it’s a travesty she hasn’t had a film role this meaty since 1988’s Big Business (your loss, ageist, sexist Hollywood). In the road-trip flick Tomlin plays Elle, a writer who’s just out of a four-month relationship with her “footnote” of a girlfriend (Judy Greer) when her teenage granddaughter (Julia Garner) shows up to drop the preggers bomb. Grandma dusts off the ol’ cruiser and the two of them wheel around on an abortion fundraiser, collecting a few bucks here and there from old flames and friends, including a tattoo artist (Laverne Cox). Directed by Paul Weitz, who also collaborated with Tomlin on 2013’s Admission, the great Grandma is a feminist vehicle that lets Tomlin run wild with an outrageous blaze of bon mots – at one point she sasses a barista about the redundancy of “drip coffee” – while also plunging deep into the character’s rougharound-the-edges complexities.

Tomlin talks about the role during a behind-the-scenes feature and a film commentary.

THE WIZ LIVE! The Wiz Live! was a disappointment for all the right reasons: It was actually good.

If you were looking forward to another spectacularly bad Carrie Underwood-in-The Sound of Music affair, then the surprisingly great and powerful Craig Zadan and Neil Meron production was a big bummer. No tweet-hating this one, guys. In fact, the all-black stage

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

screen queen take on The Wizard of Oz kept any and all abominations at bay. Audra McDonald didn’t even need to step in like the Goddess of Musicals that she is, at least not with Mary J. Blige, Uzo Aduba, Queen Latifah, Amber Riley, Shanice Williams and Stephanie Mills raising their voices up somewhere over the rainbow and into the far-off galaxies of greatness… and gayness. That’s right: In addition to Ne-Yo’s super innuendo-laden “Slide Some Oil to Me” number, Oz, in 2016, is a Latifah-run gay discotheque. Follow, follow? Glad to! Just don’t get your hopes up too high – there’s one measly extra.

heart will dance and the birds will sing. Cheers to that, and to the suspension of disbelief, am I right?

The 1938 classic leads Disney’s Signature Collection, the animated tycoon’s latest from-the-vault series – and in all seriousness, it’s one of Disney’s best. What’s new? Archival footage of Walt discussing Snow White and “Iconography,” a breakdown of Snow White as an “OG Princess,” as one pundit calls her. (Snow White...gangsta...sure!)

Also, a panel analyzes the style muses for Disney’s debut princess: Bette Davis and Betty Boop.

FREEHELD

The crying in The Danish Girl is forever, it seems.

Tears of joy, of sadness. Of “I want the Oscar.”

Throughout, director Tom Hooper works overtime for all that Academy Award consideration: hotbutton topic (trans issues) meets Eddie Redmayne (beloved Oscar winner) meets melodrama (#tears).

Loosely playing the first woman to undergo gender-reassignment surgery, Danish painter Lili Elbe, Redmayne carefully navigates womanhood at its most womanly.

He’s good. Sometimes even better than that. But, because of the script’s relatively one-note characterization of Lili, it’s Redmayne’s co-star, Alicia Vikander, who projects true greatness, exploring the nuances and complicated reality of a patient and loyal lover. Regarding extras: Just one, which features the crew discussing the film’s journey to the screen.

In Freeheld, Julianne Moore and Ellen Page unify their queerness to portray a powerful true-life story. They play lesbian lovers – a dream team that was bound for big things. But then it came out, and there were no Oscars, and few critics loved it. No wonder: It’s a glorified Lifetime movie. Freeheld earnestly tells the story of police officer Laurel Hester as she fights to transfer pension benefits to her partner, Stacie, after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. It’s heavy stuff that’s heavy handed.

The characters are mere shells, and Steve Carell is embarrassingly miscast as a self-proclaimed “big, loud, gay Jew.” As it trudges toward an end, and then another end, and then finally another end, piling on the bawl bait, it’s impossible to feel things if you don’t know who those feels are for. Luckily the more-captivating 40-minute Freeheld doc, released in 2007, is among the disc’s extras.

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (SIGNATURE COLLECTION) The first princess (and animated lady lead, period) from Disney’s enchanted drove of happilyever-afters returns to further taint a new generation with the pre-Grindr notion that life is a fairytale and a prince will kiss you and save you and forever your

THE DANISH GIRL

THE INTERN The devil wears… not Prada. As the CEO of her own booming fashion startup, Anne Hathaway, as Jules Ostin, is a rigid boss who’s so self-involved she can’t be bothered with remembering names. She’s also not the nicest.

She gets it from her mom. In comes her right-hand man, and his name is Ben (Robert De Niro, who, notably, does yoga in the movie) and he’s widowed and 70 and basically a live-action version of the old man in Up. As it turns

out, Ben needs Jules as much as she needs him. Like watching a millennial reluctantly help a techchallenged elder figure out an iPad, the Hathaway-De Niro dynamic in Nancy Meyers’ odd-couple delight is a sweet thing to behold. Special features are nearly nil. Just a few short bits on set decorations and the other interns.

BRIDGE OF SPIES Leave it to the ever-sublime pairing of Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg to put a fresh spin on the well-worn espionage subgenre.

Together they tell the true story of New York lawyer James B. Donovan (Hanks), who, against America’s wishes, defends a suspected Soviet spy during the Cold War. But when Russians capture a U.S. pilot, Donovan demonstrates to both his country and family that heroic deeds don’t always happen overnight. Graceful, sophisticated, atmospherical – aesthetically, its Spielberg at his most Spielberg-y.

A fraught, beautifully shot spy drama that builds to a surprisingly emotional closing, Bridge of Spies delivers in all respects, with Spielberg and Hanks turning in some of the best work of their respective careers. The supplements include four featurettes.

GIRLS: SEASON 4 We briefly interrupt your Broad City binging to let you know that, yes, Girls is still on and that, yaaaaaas, it’s so good lately. Four seasons in and finally Lena Dunham’s cast of post-collegiate dawdlers are starting to figure it out.

Maturity! Jobs! Rimming....? Why of course. Becoming a healthy, successful adult isn’t just moving to Iowa for your art a la Dunham’s Hannah – it’s getting your butt licked (a la Marnie, who’s still delusional and thinks she has a future as a musician). Revelations are constant. And queer. Zachary Quinto stars as a total schmuck.

Plus, Andrew Rannells is still stealing scenes and Adam Driver is still taking his shirt off. Q

DINING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

Mr. Jackson if you’re nasty Cheyenne Jackson on Botox, his ‘bi phase’ & getting his butt grabbed by Lady Gaga

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Has Lady

Gaga touched your butt lately?

It’s a box Cheyenne Jackson can happily check off after his recent run on American Horror Story: Hotel, playing a bisexual fashion designer who, by the grace of Gaga, got felt up by Mother Monster herself. Of course the screen and stage singer-actor’s resume is far more extensive: Jackson has starred in a wide range of projects including 30 Rock, HBO’s Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra, Glee and the 9/11-inspired Flight 93, portraying late gay hero Mike Bingham.

Jackson’s latest is Day Out of Days, directed by Zoe Cassavetes, the daughter of filmmaker John Cassa-

vetes and actress Gena Rowlands. In the film, now streaming via Digital HD and VOD, he plays a gay derm lending his expertise to friend Mia (Alexia Landeau) as she tries to survive age-obsessed Hollywood. As an out gay man, Jackson knows the struggle, but he’s stopped caring.

In a new interview with Jackson, the actor discusses his “fuck it” attitude at 40 (no more Botox for him), the butt-grab GIF Lady Gaga sent him and his passionate feelings on the Hollywood closet.

You’ve played just about every variation of gay. How do you know if a gay character is right for you? I never pick something based on if it’s gay or not. I just pick something if the character’s right for me. I play a pretty healthy mix, although these days I’ve been playing a lot of bisexuals. I was bisexual on Horror Story and then I just finished a film where I also played bisexual, so I’m in a bi phase right now. Honestly, just the part has to appeal to me. I really do love that there’s such a broad spectrum I’ve played: gay guys who were more straight down the middle, and — though I hate this phrase — “straight acting,” and all the way to Behind the Candelabra where I was just, you know, super cunt-y.

When it comes to roles in general, how many scripts do you end up passing on? I make no bones about it: I’m not in a world where I just get offered all of these movies by any means. I’ve never put a number on it. I would say maybe five to seven offers a year and I’ll do a few. It just depends.

Doing a movie, especially an indie movie, you really have to love the subject and you really have to love the writer / director. It’s such a labor of love — and I know it’s an overused phrase — but it is if you’re gonna be putting your blood, sweat and tears into it. And also, I don’t wanna take time away from my husband and my home and my family just to do a little thing.

While shooting ‘Love Is Strange’ with Alfred Molina and John Lithgow, it was said that you informed them on gay vernacular, such as what it means to be a “bear.” As the gay guy on set — maybe sometimes the only one — do you find yourself schooling your straight co-stars on everything gay? Oh, well, I’ve never been the gay actor on set — maybe I’m the only openly

gay actor. But yeah, listen, I’m happy to be the go-to if people wanna know what shit means.

I’ve been out since I was 19, so I gotta do something with all this information I have!

You suggest that you’ve worked with many closeted gay actors, and we talk a lot about the Hollywood closet. Where do you stand on that? It’s a personal thing. I mean, everybody should do their own thing, what is right for them. I hate it when people try to pull people out of the closet — who wants that? It’s not good for them, it’s not good for us; for whatever their own reasons are, they’re not ready.

Just leave people to do their own thing on their own time. I fully believe that. I mean, I came out when I wanted to because it was my time, and I hate the whole witch-hunt aspect.

Just mind your own business.

Regarding ‘American Horror Story’: Can we expect you in future seasons? I hope so. We don’t know yet. I think we’ll all be finding out in the next few months.

How aware are you that you’ve made just about every gay man jealous by having your butt touched by Mother Monster? (Laughs) Oh, I knew! I knew as we were shooting it. We got to that scene, and it wasn’t in the script exactly like that. But Gaga is so playful and comfortable with scenes like that and with her body. She was really fun and she put me at ease because I had never done a scene like that. So, we were just kind of playing around and she and I have such a comfort with each other, so between set-ups I laid down for a minute and she just started, you know, rubbing my butt and I’m like, “Ooh!” The director was like, “Oh, great; let’s just do that,” and that became a thing and I thought, ‘Oh, shit. I can see the screen caps now.’”

You know, there’s actually a GIF out there. I know. She sent it to me that night. (Laughs) Who was guiding who during that sex scene?

It was definitely a give and take. I was nervous going into it because I had never really done nudity onscreen, but she’s just great. I echo what everyone else says about working with her: She’s a total pro.

I’m surprised you hadn’t done a sex scene up until that point. I mean, I’ve done kissing scenes and I’ve done post sex scenes and pre sex scenes, but nah. I’m definitely not shy about it. I’m totally into it. And since Horror Story, I’ve already done a film where I have sex with a woman and then I have sex with a man. So, I’m hitting it.

What’s the film? It’s called Hello Again. Michael John LaChiusa — it’s based on his musical. Really great cast: Rumer Willis, Audra

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

McDonald, Martha Plimpton and Tyler Blackburn.

What’s next for you? I have a couple of things in the works.

Right now I’m in New York doing The Secret Garden at Lincoln Center and I have a couple of other things lined up but can’t talk about them because they’re not signed on the dotted line.

And I’m actually recording [a new album] in March in New York. I don’t know if I wanna talk about what’s on it yet, but it’s definitely some covers and new stuff — stuff I’ve kind of been touring with the last few years, but I don’t wanna say some of the names just yet.

Like Mia in ‘Day Out of Day’, you’re also 40. Have your experiences in Hollywood been similar or different from Mia’s? And in what ways? Yeah, definitely different, because I’m a man.

It’s a different thing for women.

Aging in Hollywood, as we all know, can be brutal, especially if you’re a woman. It’s a subject that people have talked about before and even made art about, but I like this particular story that Zoe’s telling just because it’s from one woman’s perspective, and I thought it was pretty great. Personally, I like getting older, and as a man, I like what’s happening to my face. Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to see more wrinkles and grey hair, which I’m totally getting, but it’s way easier for men — way easier.

I’ve been thinking about this since doing this movie, when you do see the occasional actress who doesn’t do anything to her face, like Kate Winslet — I saw something recently, and we’re the exact same age — and she has some wrinkles and she looks gorgeous and I loooove it.

Oh my god do I love it. It’s so beautiful.

While we’re on the topics of ageism and sexism, I recall your nude leak. I wonder if there’s a gender disparity when this sort of thing happens like it did to you a few years ago, when a video surfaced. Do you think there’s a difference in the way the public

reacts to a male celebrity’s leak — in this case yours — versus a woman’s? I’m not gonna speak to that at all.

Fair. Let’s move on. As a gay man, what kind of effect has sexuality had on your career?

That’s a good question, but there’s really no way to know what would have happened. I have been out my whole career.

I came out during my very first big job in All Shook Up (in 2005) on Broadway. It was in The New York Times, and I just decided to get it out of the way so it wasn’t a thing. What effect has it had? I have no idea. Do I think I have missed out on things because I am gay? Maybe.

Probably. But there’s no way to prove it. And if that’s really how something would go down, I wouldn’t want that [project] anyway. But things are definitely changing, and it’s funny that you say “as a gay man” because I find pressure on gay men, especially in our society, to look young. It’s almost like it is for women now. I see all these guys at the gym and everybody’s — well, not everybody, but a lot of guys — have a lot of stuff going on with their face.

Do you feel like you’ve been pressured to look a certain way? Of course I feel the pressure — and I succumbed to it. I’m not against saying I used to do Botox and fillers for about three years. I got really into it.

Why did you decide to stop? I looked crazy. I didn’t look like me. I think especially on men, Botox and filler doesn’t make you look younger — I think it makes you look like you have Botox and fillers. It changed the shape of my eyes. I didn’t have any wrinkles on my forehead, and it was crazy. And then I started to obsess about every little thing. Then three years ago I was like, “Fuck it. I’m just gonna let my face do what it’s gonna do,” and I’m so happy I did. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate and chris-azzopardi.com Twitter @ chrisazzopardi.

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

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april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

ALCOHOL & DRUG

HEALTH & HIV

RELIGIOUS

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org Gay and Lesbianspecific meetings: Sunday 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Monday 8p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Meeting, Disability Law Center (rear door), 205 N 400 W Tuesday 8p Live and Let Live, Disability Law Center (rear door), 205 N 400 W Wednesday 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Friday 8p Stonewall Group, UPC Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org

Northern Utah HIV/ AIDS Project Walk-Ins Tues Noon–5pm 536 24th St, Ste 2B, Ogden 801-393-4153 Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake Valley Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 610 S 200 E 801-534-4666 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

Deeksha Utah  deekshautah. wordpress.com First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 11a Sundays Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at UPC

BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600

HOMELESS SVCS

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Center, ages 15–21 655 S State St 801-364-0744 Young Men’s Transition Home 801-433-1713 Young Women’s Transition Home 801-359-5545 POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org

Embracing the health & resilience of our community

SOCIAL

Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@ gmail.com blackBOOTS Kink/ BDSM * blackbootsSLC@ aol.com Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Resource Centers  outreachresourcecenters.org Ogden - 705 23rd St Weds, 3-7:30pm Logan - 596 E 900 N Fri, 4:30-7:30pm Brigham City - 435 E 700 S - First Tuesdays, 4-7pm Clearfield - 782 E 700 S - Thurs, 5:307:30pm 801-686-4528 qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com

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Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  discord.me/ spectrumatuvu  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State Univ Faculty/Staff GayStraight Alliance  organizations. weber.edu/fsgsa  fsgsa@weber.edu Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 3885 W Campus Dr, Student Services Ctr, Suite 154 Dept. 2125 801-626-7271

GAY WRITES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

gay writes Cloning is the answer

BY APPIO HUNTER

I hate

election year. I hate listening to the news during election year. I hate the sensational headlines, the vitriolic sound

bites, and the spiteful bickering that news outlets try to pass off as “debates.” The negativity and the sensationalism make my stomach turn, and this is especially true when conservative politicians use the LGBTQ community as their scapegoat to get votes from their most passionate supporters.

This year is no different.

Once again, marriage equality is the hot-button topic for social conservatives. “Religious liberty” is the current rallying cry as the bullies conveniently portray themselves as the victims. While I’m not a confrontational person, and the fact I hate politics, I’ve often wondered how we can best counter the “religious liberty” argument. Reason and logic would seem to be the obvious choices but there’s plenty of evidence to show that reason and logic almost never win against emotional manipulation and fear mongering. That’s because the people who buy into the fear and hate aren’t logical and they don’t even have the capacity to reason. They only care about one thing -- their fear.

Talk about a dilemma. If logic and reason are powerless against fear, the only option left to win over the fearful is to give

them something even greater to fear. But what could we do that would make opponents of marriage equality so fearful that they turn into supporters? Then it hit me.

Clone them.

I know that seems like a huge stretch, but stick with me here. If you take a close look at the people who consistently, year after year, stake their political careers on how they can turn their unhealthy obsession with the LGBTQ community into legislation that creates second-class citizens, you will see a common pattern: They all have an over-inflated sense of self-importance. Like Narcissus in Greek mythology, these politicians are so enamored with their self-image they fail to see anything else except themselves, and by extension, they refuse to listen to anyone but themselves. Every self-proclaimed crusader for God, from Donald Trump and Ted Cruz all the way down to our state’s dictator queen, Gayle Ruzika and her servants in the Utah legislature, share this trait.

So, why not clone them?

Why not give them a real version of themselves to worship, fawn over, and even marry?

Since there is no legal definition of a clone’s relationship status with oneself (is it a sibling, a child, or neither?) one can technically argue that Donald Trump can marry his clone because they’re consenting adults and they’re both the same gender. Can you imagine the wedded bliss Donald would enjoy because he no longer has to argue with anyone? He can say that now, finally, someone understands him and can ap-

preciate him for who he is. Although the idea is horrifying, I can imagine that to Donald, the sex in his new marriage would be mind-blowingly awesome.

So let’s give Rush Limbaugh, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Glenn Beck, Michelle Bachmann, and the rest of their ilk copies of themselves and let them enjoy a few months of marriage euphoria. Let them become even more madly, passionately infatuated with themselves than they already are. And then let them turn on the news one day and be told that they — and by extension their spouses and their marriages — are abominations in the eyes of God and that their marriages should be annulled, their rights taken away, and they should be separated from the rest of society.

That, my friends, is our solution. Imagine the fear that will grip their hearts when

faced with the monster they created! I’m talking about real fear, not the bogus fears they manufacture to boost their self-importance or win an election. I’m talking about them experiencing the fear of losing their rights to protect the one person they love more than life itself. Once they’re threatened by the very ideology they spew every day, I guarantee that the opponents of marriage equality will be very much in favor of it.

I’m ready to start immediately. Love is love after all, and the science is there. We’ve already cloned sheep, and since Donald has shown us that Tea Party politicians and voters aren’t genetically different from their four-legged counterparts, this should be easy to do. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center, that meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30–8pm, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

q scopes

APRIL

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS ARIES March 20–April 19 Add some spice to romantic activities. The funk you’ve been feeling is due to a lack of physical stimulation. Put your inner prude on hold and get involved with special individuals. A little twitch of devious thought is bound to inspire much needed action. Even if the thoughts aren’t there, the feelings will carry through.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 The struggles of living with a burden will leave you breathless. Keep smiling, even if the desire to do so is lacking. Someone close is playing games. Recognize the signs and opt out. The only way to avoid losing in a game is to not play at all. Focus on challenging yourself to succeed instead.

A lesson can be the best prize of all.

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peninsula 48 ___ Miz 49 Gulliver’s Travels brutes 51 Philippines island 53 The Gay Nineties, for example 55 Alexander conquered it 59 Gone With the Wind extra 61 Where football players get naked together 64 Video category for porn 66 Royal threesome 67 Go down 68 Release from bondage 69 “How queer!”

70 Sea eagle 71 “See ya” 72 Actor Auberjonois 73 Cannon of Hollywood

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to let go of some extra burdens. Stay focused and follow your gut on this.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Develop a bond with a close friend or lover. You’ll need their support if there’s any chance of getting past a bad patch. Reminders that life can be fun will emerge. The workplace has been unforgiving, so take time off if possible. It is a time to rest and renew, so do some mental housecleaning. Eliminate drama in your circles.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

A logical explanation to an emotional problem will leave you unsatisfied. Embrace pleasure instead, and put aside what makes sense for a while.

Friendships will flourish and finances will fall into place. Take note of a key witness to a pivotal moment in recent events. This person may care, but could also cause trouble.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Self-imposed restrictions are good during a time of chaos.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to try everything, but sample good experiences instead of consuming too much.

Your social life will get a boost from hosting a party with an open guest list.

Being the star is the best way to be now, so shine. This is your time!.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 The long road is not the one that stretches the farthest, but the one most dangerous to cross.

An accident is inevitable if you don’t time your moves right. A setback could be devastating, and a loss of something important is not worth a rash move.

Have faith that the right time will come to take action. Meanwhile, enjoy the break.

CANCER June 21–July 22 The frequent temptation for outbursts will become a theme. The last trait you want to be defined with is anger, but that’s bound to happen in a large circle of friends.

Squash rumors by being kind. You don’t have to be a saint, but may find satisfaction in a friendly fetish for purity. Try playing an angel with a devil inside.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 The flaming rage caused by a coworker is becoming a major problem. Instead of getting mad, enjoy some poetic justice. Give a lesson in a form of the irony you demonstrate best.

Actions that would usually create division will create a strange sense of unity.

A new life role emerges, making you both divider and provider.

LEO July 23–August 22 The desire to drive a point home will overshadow courtesy. As a result, a friend or partner could be deeply offended. Be careful and use tact to avoid confrontation. A long desired dream could come true, but be careful what is wished for. There is no such thing as gain without sacrifice, especially regarding matters of the heart.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 In the river of life, many boats sail your way. A random meeting with a potential friend could pass if you don’t pay attention. A longing for stability is a goal in constant flux. Find the anchor in the arms of someone nice and enjoy romance. There’s nothing better than riding the waves of change with company.. Q

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 It’s no secret that respect must be earned with you. A friend might surprise you by declaring how little it is required. The world is going to beat you down this month, but not all pain will be unpleasant. In fact, implementing saucy times in a relationship proves useful. Showing respect will be key in heated situations.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Show a loved one the true meaning behind an obsession.

Whether your thoughts are stuck on an individual or an activity, there’s no denying that priorities have changed. Merging the old with the new will not be as easy as previously thought, so be willing

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FITNESS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

the frivolist Spring into these calorie-burning activities to shed your winter padding

BY MIKEY ROX

Hard time

keeping your hands out of the cookie jar this winter? Polish off those last few Oreos then set your sights on spring with these easy-to-integrate activities that’ll have you sweating and shedding in no time.

TRAIN FOR A FOOT RACE A few weeks ago I decided for the first time to compete in a half-marathon race. My gym was advertising the event, and on the advertisement was a URL for a 12-week, increasingly rigorous conditioning regimen that I could follow to get into race-ready shape. I’m nearly halfway through the program and I’m proud to say that I haven’t missed a goal yet.

This may be an intimidating feat for some, but it’s absolutely achievable if you commit yourself to it. To help yourself stay on track, invite a friend to join the race with you; you two can work out together and provide support in times of doubt and fatigue.

PARTICIPATE IN AN OBSTACLE COURSE In addition to the half marathon this spring, I’ve also

signed up for a challenging obstacle course called Rugged Maniac, which I expect will test my strength and endurance over its 5K course. Some of the obstacles include scaling a warped wall a la _Ninja Warrior_, jumping over fire, climbing ladders, hopping barricades, trudging through mud and more. If you’re not confident that you can complete a course of this intensity, there are several other traveling fitness courses during the spring and summer months including ROC Race, Insane Inflatable 5K and Mud Factor that may set up camp near you.

POP INTO A TRAMPOLINE PARK Trampoline parks are all the rage right now – seems like a new location opens every month – but they’re not just for kids. Adults can get in on the action too by joining open jumps, playing ultimate dodgeball, dunking baskets or signing up for scheduled fitness programs that will work you out to the tune of 1,000 calories an hour in some classes.

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ACCEPT CHALLENGES ON YOUR FITNESS TRACKER One of the cool ways I’m ensuring that I meet certain fitness goals I’ve set for myself, like on my Fitbit fitness tracker, is to accept and extend challenges between the friends with whom I’m connected through the device. Turning the wearable into a little friendly competition is fun, and I push myself a little further every day to stay ahead.

INCORPORATE EXERCISES INTO YOUR CHORES Sneak in squats while you’re vacuuming the steps, bang out a few pushups when you’re putting storage items under the bed, and do a few curls with your grocery bags from the car to the house. It’s easy to turn your mundane chores into mini-exercises to keep your muscles moving.

DO MORE MANUAL LABOR AROUND THE HOUSE Instead of hiring a handyman or gardener to tackle items on your spring-cleaning to-do list, try your own hand at what you’d normally farm out. If you’re capable of cleaning up the yard and laying your own

mulch you should be doing it yourself anyway, but at least now you’ll get a decent tan and save a couple hundreds bucks while you’re at it.

RENT EQUIPMENT TO TRY A NEW FITNESS ACTIVITY Last year I bought a couple kayaks to add extra activity into my spring and summer routine, and this year one of my goals is to learn how to standup paddle board. These boards are quite expensive to purchase, so renting is a great option for me, especially since I’m not sure I’ll like it.

You can rent nearly any kind of sports and fitness equipment these days, from typical bicycles to more extreme equipment like kite-

boarding kites.

Whatever suits your fancy – and fitness level.

JOIN A SOCIAL SPORTS LEAGUE I’ve been part of a social sports league in some capacity for at least the past 10 years – and I can’t sing the praises of these groups enough. I’ve been a member of kickball, dodgeball and cornhole teams in the past, and currently I play on a couple bowling leagues and a shuffleboard league. I’m certainly not getting buff on these leagues, but they still keep me moving (some more than others), and they’re a great way to dust yourself off, get your blood pumping and make a few new friends as the cold weather makes way for sunshine and warmth. Q Mikey Rox is on Twitter @mikeyrox.

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

q health

HEALTH | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

Foster homes needed — MEOW!

Symptom-free does not mean infection-free

BY PETER STOKER

Gonorrhea is a sexually transmitted disease that can infect both men and women. It can be a serious health risk if not treated, causing infections in the genitals, rectum, and throat.

It is a very common infection, especially among young people ages 15–24 years. It affects more than 700,000 people in the United States every year.

Gonorrhea has been steadily on the rise in Salt Lake County and Utah since 2011. In 2014, it was the third-most frequently reported communicable disease in Utah and the second most reported disease in the United States. In 2015, Salt Lake County alone reported 984 cases of gonorrhea.

One out of ten men with gonorrhea may have no symptoms at all. However, men who do have symptoms, may experience: • A burning sensation when urinating; • A white, yellow, or green discharge from the penis; • Painful or swollen testicles.

Four out of five women with gonorrhea do not have any symptoms. Even when a woman has symptoms, they are often mild and can be mistaken for a bladder or vaginal infection.

Women with gonorrhea are at risk of developing serious complications from the infection, even if they don’t have any symptoms. Symptoms in women can include: • Painful or burning sensation when urinating; • Increased vaginal discharge; • Vaginal bleeding between periods.

Rectal infections may either cause no symptoms or cause symptoms in both men and women that may include: • Discharge; • Anal itching; • Soreness;

• Bleeding; • Painful bowel movements.

One should be examined if they notice any of these symptoms or if your partner has an STD or symptoms of an STD, such as an unusual sore, a smelly discharge, burning when urinating, or bleeding between periods.

One of the reasons why one wants to be aware of their (and their partners) STD status is because many of these infections hide within our bodies doing damage until one notices something severe. Just as the title suggests symptom free doesn’t mean infection free. Some of the ‘cleanest’ looking people can have rabid infections.

Bacteria in general are becoming stronger and the more we share this infection of gonorrhea it is going to continue to mutate and become more and more resistant to treatment.

Health professionals have to be more aggressive with treatment because of the mutations and resistance of gonorrhea. This means that more people are being treated for the infection but not being cured. Thus passing a mutated gonorrhea infection to new, innocent, partners and advancing the progression of resistant gonorrhea.

With the advent of PrEP and its effectiveness, self-reported condom usage has declined.

There are ways that you can prevent yourself from contacting an STD. Latex condom, when used consistently and correctly, can reduce the risk of transmission of gonorrhea. The surest way to avoid transmission of gonorrhea or other STDs is to abstain from vaginal, anal, and oral sex, or to be in a longterm mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected. Q

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50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HIV/AIDS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

positive thoughts Kate Burton builds on the AIDS legacy of stepmother Elizabeth Taylor

BY JEFF BERRY

Many know

Kate Burton as an actress, most recently portraying the right-wing Vice President Sally Langston in the hit TV show Scandal, and in Grey’s Anatomy as Dr. Ellis Grey, the former surgeon and mother of lead character Dr. Meredith Grey, who dies of Alzheimer’s.

But what some people may not realize is that Burton, daughter of actor Richard

ETAF, ensuring that 100 percent of donations go directly to people affected by HIV/AIDS. “My work as an ETAF ambassador entails many things,” says Burton, “but primarily I serve as a spokesperson or a message deliverer when called upon, although the hard ‘on-theground’ work is delivered by (ETAF Managing Director) Joel Goldman and his wonderful staff.”

Following the devastation of Hurricane

Burton, also serves as an ambassador for the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, which her stepmother founded. “People know, and people knew, my stepmom as a famous movie actress,” said Burton in a 2014 interview, “but at her fundamental core, she was a caring, compassionate person who advocated for the neediest of the needy.”

Burton, in an email to Positively Aware magazine, says she’s been involved in raising awareness about HIV since her dear friends Meghan Robinson and Michael O’Gorman died from AIDS. “From that time on, I knew that it would be a fight I would devote myself to. It was thrilling to me that Elizabeth became such a passionate advocate for AIDS awareness. As we all know, she and Dr. [Mathilde] Krim put this fight on the map.”

Elizabeth Taylor founded ETAF in 1991 to support organizations delivering direct care and services to people living with HIV and AIDS, often to the most marginalized populations, according to their website. Today, Taylor’s friends and family work together as ETAF ambassadors to help keep the issue of HIV/AIDS “top-of-mind” for the public.

Taylor’s trust covers the operating costs of

Katrina, NO/AIDS Task Force, the largest HIV provider in New Orleans, had no offices and its patients nowhere to turn. Taylor wanted to help, and through her foundation was able to provide a mobile treatment unit so that clients were able to continue to access their medications and other lifesaving services, uninterrupted.

Taylor, understanding how successful the model was and that it didn’t need to be limited to a natural disaster, began to replicate it in other locales. She knew that chronic lack of access to healthcare was the biggest barrier in the battle against HIV and AIDS, according to a recent ETAF statement, and said, “If people cannot get to healthcare, why can’t we bring healthcare to people?” Since 2008, seven Global AIDS Interfaith Alliance/ Elizabeth Taylor Mobile Health Clinics have been delivering care to the people of Mulanje and Phalombe districts in Malawi.

Recently, in collaboration with the Elizabeth Taylor Trust and The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, Getty Images Gallery in London produced “Grit and Glamour” to mark 30 years since Taylor first began her leadership in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

Taylor’s son Christopher Wilding’s “major new photographic exhibition offered Elizabeth Taylor fans the chance to view previously unseen images of the Hollywood icon in a celebration of the British actress’ 30-year campaign to raise awareness on HIV and AIDS,” according to the Daily Mail.

In her day job, Burton has garnered two Emmy nominations for her portrayals of strong characters developed by Shonda Rhimes, the creator of Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal. “Shonda Rhimes has been incredibly important to me in my life as an actress,” says Burton. “She chose me to play Ellis Grey in Grey’s Anatomy 12 years ago, which changed my professional life but more importantly, put advocacy for Alzheimer’s research front and center on network television and in the national conversation. Seven years later she chose me to play the larger-than-life, devout and conservative Vice President Sally Langston in Scandal. I initially thought that this character was not based on reality ... until I saw the current crop of Republican candidates! Sally would fit right in amongst them, alas!”

In February hundreds of HIV advocates from across the country will descend upon Washington D.C. for AIDSWatch 2016, the largest constituent-based HIV advocacy event in the U.S., to educate Congress about the policies and resources needed to end the HIV epidemic. ETAF is the lead sponsor.

“The work that AIDSWatch does to elevate the voices of people living with and affected

by HIV is crucial, and very much aligned with Elizabeth Taylor’s passionate approach,” says Joel Goldman of ETAF. “She used her enormous platform to advocate for those whose voices were being ignored, just as AIDSWatch is doing today. ETAF is thrilled to be the presenting sponsor for the second time and to see the impact of this exciting event continue to grow.”

As for Burton, she says her advocacy for AIDS research and the search for a cure will continue throughout her life. Along with her work at ETAF she also serves on the board of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. In September of last year at the 2015 United States Conference on AIDS (USCA), Burton presented the Elizabeth Taylor Legacy Award to House Leader Nancy Pelosi for her tireless work in the fight against HIV. “Presenting the ETAF award to Leader Pelosi on behalf of my stepmother was one of the greatest honors I have ever had,” says Burton.

“I will always cherish the memory.” Q Jeff Berry is the editor of Positively Aware magazine. For more information on the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation and AIDSWatch 2016, go to etaf.org and aidsunited.org.

Positive Thoughts is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake.

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

Qmmunity Calendar Weekly Events: SUNDAYS  Beer Church @ Club Try-Angles 3pm | 251 W 900 S, clubtry-angles. com  Karaoke Party with mAndrew and Ducky at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com

MONDAYS  Pride Yoga at Utah Pride Center 6:30pm | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter. org  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

WEDNESDAYS  Karaoke Party w/ mAndrew and Ducky at Jam SLC @ 9pm | 751 N 300 W, jamslc.com  Utah Bears Dinner, meeting first at Raw Bean @ 6pm | 611 West Temple, utahbears.com  HIV/STI Testing at Utah Pride Center @ 5-7pm | 255 E 400 S, utahpridecenter.org

THURSDAYS  Karaoke at Club TryAngles | 251 W 900 S, clubtry-angles.com

FRIDAYS  Gossip! at Club Sound @9:30pm | 579 W 200 S, gossipslc.com  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc. com  One80 at Moose Lounge | 180 W 400 S, facebook.com/One80.

SLC

SATURDAYS  Dance Party at Jam SLC | 751 N 300 W, jamslc. com  Vers at Club X | 445 400 W

QMMUNITY CALENDAR | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NIGHTLIFE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

princess kennedy

Mama’s little angel When I

BY PRINCESS KENNEDY

was growing up I came from a tried and true pet lovin’ family. I was the youngest of seven and we each had our own dog. Mom had two poodles, Cosset and Lalique; my sister Kandi had a Yourkie, Toosie; my myriad of brothers had Casper the white Lab, Budweiser the German Shepard, Spike the Doberman, Tippy the Collie and finally my little angel, Stuffin’, the wire hair terrier that looked just like Benji. I loved all of them!

I rolled around, rough housed, slept with, licked and ate from the same plate as and like my

family. Dogs were my passion!

One day while day scurrying home to beat the streetlights, I ran past an unfamiliar neighbor’s house on an unfamiliar street and was met head on by a snarling, teeth bearing, ginormous-headed Rottweiler, sans fence or a leash. It was just like the cartoons, drooling, deep vicious growling. I freaked and did the one thing you should never do and I ran as fast as I could across the street towards the house with the porch light on. Killer (we’ll call hm Killer) was hot on my heals as I tore to the house screaming like a banshee. I made it to the porch

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and tuned to crawl backwards up the stairs kicking at Killer’s face, bawling at the top of my lungs, “GOOD DOG!” Needless to say the occupants of the house heard my terror and, just as Killer was gnashing at my feet, they opened the door and with a broom and beat Killer back down the steps with his tail between his legs! Phew!

Needless to say I was tremendously traumatized from the experience and, not only was a dog met with a genuine freak out, one-by-one our menagerie of larger animals started to disappear. I had lost all my passion for them and even having them around me would set off my anxiety and fear and, as the old tale goes, they can smell it.

Well into my adult hood I couldn’t go to a new friend’s house without first asking if they had a dog, if they did I would have to ask them to put it in another room. If I were to see a person walking their pet, I would cross the street as to not get entangled in a some sort of preconceived attack. It sort of ruled my life and I was dominated with the mistrust of any and all canines.

Weirdly enough, it was somewhere in my late 20s that I was called to audition in Seattle and would stay with a friend who had a little Jack Russell terrier. She was a rescue and came with the instructions that she was better left ignored. Apparently she was prone to go on the defense if you moved too suddenly or came to close to her space.

“Don’t worry about how that”!

I told my friend, the one thing I won’t be doing is cuddling up to your ferocious little beast.

Two nights into my trip I left the gang I was with at the Eagle Seattle and headed

back to my friend’s alone to face one-on-one with the doggy. Whilst sitting enjoying my post-bar-dom burrito, Jack planted herself at my feet, intently watching. “Ah of course,” I said to the little grubber, “food,” and smacked my lips in a big loud kiss noise, to which the little fucker jumped onto my lap and bit a chunk out of my cheek!

Oh lord have mercy on that filthy beast. It was at that moment of forced therapy that I realized that I was bigger, stronger and higher on the food chain than Jack or any of his cohorts! (I didn’t hurt Jack... badly.) Poof, like magic my fear of dogs disappeared as quickly as the dimple on my cheek appeared , so it all worked out.

Thanks Jack!

Long story short, I have wanted to get myself a little baby for quite some time. I have fallen madly and deeply in love with the species all over again and up until recently I was blocked by the fact that I travel monthly for work and just couldn’t justify the jump.

Well, if I’m to be honest, I’m the original party girl! I can’t imagine I’m going to love the early morning poopy walks.

I’m a realist, and just because I’m good with my friends, doesn’t necessarily translate to me being the ideal pet owner, so I’ve decided to foster.

I no longer travel for work and have been lately checking my options. I haven’t quite found where or how to go about it, but I have ’til July because I’ll be gone most of the month celebrating various city’s prides. But I have every intention of taking the plunge into to parenthood as soon as I recover. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Happy Poopy Walks my fellow animal lovers. Q

april 2016 | issue 254 | gaysaltlake.com

NIGHTLIFE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 254 | april 2016

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of diaper doody

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

can’t believe that a little boy like you could have this big of a ‘Turdzilla.’ Where in the world did all of this poop come from?” He laid quietly for a moment, then said matter-offact, “It came out of my bum.”

I had to stuff the clean diaper in my mouth to prevent from laughing. Thank goodness, we are now past the diaper stage with the grandkids.

over the carpet.

When he was walking but not talking all that much, we were having a sleepover at the Grandpas’ house. At about 2 a.m., he woke up crying. I got up and changed his diaper and gave him a bottle of milk to help him get back to sleep. He kept trying to go into the living room where all the toys were. I sat with him in the rocking chair trying to rock him to sleep, but to no avail. So I put him back in his bed and I laid down in mine.

He promptly got up and headed out to the living room again. I put him back to bed. Showing more persistence than a drag queen waiting for a 50 percent off sale on eyeliner, he made a third attempt to escape. I shut the bedroom door and laid back down, watching him. He stood in the middle of the room, in the dark, refusing to go to bed for at least 45 minutes. Finally he fell asleep on the floor. I moved him to his bed.

This boy began to talk rather early for a baby. He was quite verbal, even before potty training. On another occasion of a “diaper download,” I kept talking to him, trying to discourage him from escaping. I kept saying stuff like, “Oh this ‘doody’ is so stinky. I PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

As always, these events leave us with several burning eternal questions.

1. Since my womb is barren, does this qualify me to be able to adopt the title of Baroness?

2. During the number 2 on the carpet incident, do you think that the grandson was trying to leave a trail for me to find him playing Hide-n-Seek?

3. Are inadvertent Golden Shower experiences by adults the source of water sports fetishes?

4. Are dirty diaper experiences the source material for German Shisa videos?

5. Can diaper “Shoo-Shoo” remove nail polish?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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ride with me. We arrived at the campsite and set out our respective lounge chairs. We sat side by side, I reading Lord of the Rings and she reading a My Little Pony picture book.

All of a sudden, she asked, “Do you have a penis?” OH! MY! GOD! I looked around for someone, anyone to come and interrupt us, but to no avail we were alone. I knew that her mothers were very direct about answering her questions, so I wondered if I was going to have to do a version of the “Birds-and-Bees” talk.

I stammered, “yes.” Then she responded with confidence, “Boys have penises and girls have ginas!” She then resumed reading her book. That was the end of that. Phew!

Several years later, Mr. Pap Smear and I became grandpas when Mr. Pap Smear’s son and his wife had a baby boy. We would babysit often and I became very familiar with diaper changing. I learned the hard way that when changing the diaper of a baby boy, one must first cover his “Mr. Pokey,” lest the “Dingaroo” erupt into my face, thus prematurely and unwillingly initiating me into the world of “Golden Shower Water Sports.”

This kid had become a professional escape artist while being changed. Before I could say “bless my pearls,” he would throw his knee over and with a quick roll, he was off and crawling, and I would have to spend 10 minutes chasing his bare butt around the house.

One time he was extra evasive and I was unable to re-diaper him before there was an occurrence of “Number 2,” leaving a trail of “Precious Moments” all

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to raising children is fraught with danger and excitement.

This issue of QSaltLake is all about parenting, adoption and fostering the little people, or as I sometimes refer to them as “Chiblins.” Way back in the day, when I first admitted to myself that I was gay, but before I realized that I was a princess destined to grow up to be a queen of some stature, (and by stature I sadly mean of the gravity enhanced, rotundus abundance version, rather than public icon) I was sad because I knew that butt babies never live and that I was destined to be a barren queen, prohibited from becoming a parent and experiencing the joy of having children. However, I am overjoyed to share some examples that have delightfully proven me wrong on this account.

About twenty-two years ago, Mr. Pap Smear and I were honored to be asked to be the godfathers for the daughter of our best friends, a lesbian couple. I had been privileged to babysit this little girl many times. One time, I took her grocery shopping and while she was riding in the cart, she addressed me as ‘Dad.’ I gently corrected her, saying that I was not her father, but I was her godfather. As we rounded the frozen food aisle, she loudly said, “godfather!” I quickly looked around expecting to see Marlon Brando. Then I sheepishly remembered what I had just told her.

Another time, the Logan LGBT community went on a camping trip. I was driving up to the mountains a couple of hours before the rest and my goddaughter wanted to

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