QSaltLake Magazine - June 2017 Pride Issue

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JUNE 2017 ISSUE 268

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PRIDE Our Official Guide to Utah

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| FIRST 4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE BEST OFWORD STATE

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

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in this issue 33

56

61

Utah Pride Guide Pullout

Interview with the April Fools spelling bee teacher

NEWS �������������������������������������������������������������������10 National and world news of the month Suspect arrested in Matthew Holt murder LDS pulls older teens from Boy Scouting LGBT Suicide conference

FEATURE �����������������������������������������������������������33 Utah Pride Guide Prides in the Intermountain West FOOD & DRINK �������������������������������������������61 Rio Grande Cafe reopens

VIEWS �������������������������������������������������������������������16 Creep Alex Jones Pride is a family GenderQueer in Baseball

LIFESTYLE ���������������������������������������������������������46 Confronting a cheating partner Protecting your family takes more than just marriage

A whole, glossy section all on its own. Before you go to Pride, pull out the map page with the full schedule on it.

The Rio Grande Cafe is Revived

Looking as good as ever and with the same Festivals all up and down the Wasatch Front, menu, new owners invest in the restaurant’s future. and in Park City and Logan

72

M ADAM P AT TIRINI G IN Madam Pattirini Gin — Inspired by one of the more interesting and unknown figures of the American West.

Brigham Morris Young ( January 18, 1854–February 20, 1931) was the son of Brigham Young (his 35th child) and one of his wives, Margaret Pierce.

In 1875, then again in 1883, B . Morris Young served a mission for the LDS Church in the Hawaiian Islands.

I n 1885 Young, his wife and their children returned from serving his second mission in the Hawaiian Islands. Shortly after returning to Utah, Young began publicly performing in drag as Italian opera diva “Madam Pattirini.” Young performed as Pa Pattirini in north and central Utah venues from 1885 to the 1900s. He could produce a convincing falsetto, and many in the audience did not realize that Pattirini was Young.

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O GDEN ’ S O WN D ISTILLERY !

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

SATURDAY, JUNE 10 ECCLES THEATER VIP seats available: Get premium seating, meet and take a picture with Anderson & Andy after the show and get an autographed gift to take home.

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

staffbox

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

copy editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan national advertising representative: Rivendell Media, 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com contributors Joshua Adamson, Connie Anast-Inman, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Paul Campbell, Tyson Daley, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Elaine Stehel, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

news The top national and world news you should know from last month Army Sec. Pick Out, Not in a Good Way

CONTACT EMAILS:

Tennessee State Sen. Mark Green (R) withdrew his name from consideration to become the next U.S. Army Secretary. He came under criticism for remarks about LGBT issues.

The senator, who has supported anti-LGBTQ legislation, suggested that being transgender is a “disease” and said he opposed policies that allow transgender people to use the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity cited.

general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

A Gay Pole Vaulter, No Joke

distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

James Enoch, Alana Luckart, Kevin Sevcik publisher

Salt Lick Publishing LLC 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt.)

Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

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QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2017, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 8–12,000 copies are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the state. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801-997-9763. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when done.

Olympic pole vaulter from Canada who holds the NCAA indoor record in the pole vault at 5.91 meters (19.38 feet), Shawn Barber published a post on Facebook, “Gay and proud! Thank you to my parents for being such a great support. I continue to grow as a person and have a great support group. My parents are my greatest support and have helped me through a lot recently. To my friends, you are always my friends and I love you too!”

The Closet Still Kills Aaron Hernandez, a promising member of the New England Patriots convicted

of murder, committed suicide in prison. Prosecutors never established a motive at trial, but Newsweek magazine reports the motive was the murder victim knew about Hernandez’s bisexuality.

Letters were found in the cell to his daughter and his alleged long time boyfriend, who is, “is now on 24/7 suicide watch,” Newsweek said.

ident has told Vladimir Putin that concentration camps do not exist.

Putin appeared to support a request by Russia’s Commissioner for Human Rights to form an investigative team to look into “the well-known information, or rumors” of torture against men “with a non-traditional sexual orientation” in Chechnya.

What’s a broken penis worth? $5000

Richard Simmons sues ‘National Enquirer’

A Chilean court has determined that a cross dressing prostitute’s penis is worth $5,000 in a lawsuit filed after a male patron died of a heart attack during sex, resulting in a broken penis for the prostitute. Officials reportedly arrive on scene and determined the penis was fractured. At the end of the case, the prostitute and the deceased’s wife apparently reach a settlement of $5,000.

Richard Simmons is suing the National Enquirer, Radar Online and American Media in Los Angeles Superior Court.

He accuses the defendants of libel and invasion of privacy. The Enquirer and Radar Online claimed Simmons underwent unspecified gender confirmation surgery, which his rep called a “complete fabrication,” in a series of “cruel and malicious” articles.

Simmons stepped out of the spotlight back in 2014, which has led to speculation about his absence, an LAPD drop-by and even a podcast titled “Missing Richard Simmons.” In April, the exercise guru released his first public statement in three years, insisting he was never “missing” and that he had been dealing with some health concerns.

The defendants responded, “We stand by our reporting about him, all of which was based on solid sourcing and material evidence.”

They See Them in Tel Aviv The City of Tel Aviv-Yafo has announced the theme of the 2017 LGBT Pride Parade is “Bisexuality Visibility.” The city-sponsored Pride celebration begins June 3 and hundreds of thousands of people from Israel and around the world are expected to attend.

The actual parade on June 9, expected to draw some 200,000 participants, is the largest pride event in Asia and the Middle East.

Russian Group Rescues Gays in Chechnya NPR has reported that the Russian LGBT Network evacuated around 40 gay men from Chechnya to safety.

In April, Russian journalists revealed details of six known prisons for gay men in Chechnya. The Chechen Pres-

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black wed Tom Daley and his new husband Dustin Lance Black have shared their first photos from their wedding May 13.

The couple tied the knot at Bovey Castle in front of 120 close friends and relatives, 30 miles from Plymouth, Devon, where Tom grew up.

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

Need a lawyer who understands our community?

Call Chris Wharton Law Suspect in Matthew Holt murder arrested, confesses Jeffery Ray Shepherd, 35, of Tooele, Utah has been arrested for the murder of Matthew Holt. Shepherd has confessed to shooting Holt after demanding money from the victim.

Holt, 46, was found dead with a gunshot wound in his black Mazda at about 3200 South and 9th West on Easter Sunday, according to South Salt Lake Police.

Police had sought community help using grainy images of people in the area Holt was found. Police also sent images of a vehicle believed to be driven by the killer. Weeks went by and Holt’s family offered a $10,000 reward for information leading to an arrest.

Holt’s father Earl Holt, told media sources he was pleased an arrest had been made, but also knows the family still must endure court appearances and a sentencing before closure can occur.

“I’m glad this part of it is done,” he said to the Deseret News. “My wife and I both don’t want any vengeance, but we’re happy there’s been an arrest. It’s just a senseless thing that happened to our son. He was such a good man, and he touched so many lives.”

South Salt Lake City Police

detective Gary Keller credits an off-duty SSL police officer who was in Tooele for spotting the car matching the suspect car description. The officer, new to the SSL force, followed the car to an address and called for Tooele City and County law back up and SSL police detectives were called in to question and make the arrest.

At press time, Shepherd was being held without bail at the Salt Lake County Jail on suspicion of first-degree felony murder, first-degree felony aggravated robbery and second-degree felony tampering with evidence counts.

The probable cause statement says Shepherd waived Miranda rights and confessed he demanded cash form Holt at gunpoint. After he received the money, Shepherd shot the Holt, picked up the shell casing and left the Jordan River Parkway crime scene in South Salt Lake.

Police say Shepherd also admitted to disposing of his handgun, the casings and clothing, and washing blood from his car.

Friends also say Holt was a funny and caring person. He worked at Wax Me Too Salon.

• Divorce and Custody • Name and Gender Changes • Adoption and Surrogacy • Criminal Defense • Wills and Trusts Chris is a leading advocate for individuals and families in our community

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Voted “Best Lawyer” by QSaltLake Readers

Chris Wharton Law, LLC

165 S Main Street, Suite 200

Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 chriswhartonlaw.com

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

LDS church pulls older teens out of Boy Scouts

BY JOSHUA ADAMSON

The news that the LDS Church would be pulling older teens from the Boy Scouts of America was seen by many to be a welcome change.

The church’s official stated reason for the move is that the scouting program was no longer fulfilling the “spiritual, social, physical and intellectual development goals” of older boys. But some Utahns say this is only part of the story.

Since the BSA began allowing gay and transgender boys and leaders to participate in the program, the LDS church cutting ties with scouting seemed inevitable. On social media, some Mormons expressed a belief that the move would allow the church to focus on teen development programs that put the faith’s principles first.

Peter Brownstein was a Boy Scout leader for several years until 2013, when he and other leaders marched in the Utah Pride Parade while wearing their scout uniforms. He sees the LDS Church’s decision as a positive one.

“It gives [the LDS Church] the ability to separate from an organization that is not meeting its needs,” he said. “And it gives them the ability to come up with their own program while allowing scouting to expand its diversity and inclusion to so many other people.”

The move could affect more than 180,000 LDS Boy Scouts nationwide, according to statements made by the church. But Brownstein says the change will be positive for everyone.

“Obviously there will be some shortterm transition challenges to both organizations,” he said. “I believe it will work better for everyone in the long run.”

Other Utahns also see the change as a positive one.

“It’s an excellent move,” said Mark Lawrence, director of Restore Our Humanity, an LGBT rights organiza-

tion in Salt Lake City that brought the <em>Kitchen v. Herbert </em>case to the Supreme Court that struck down Utah’s ban on same-sex marriage. Lawrence’s organization twice petitioned BSA for an LGBT-inclusive scouting charter. Their first petition was denied at the organization’s national level and the second request received no response.

Because the overwhelming majority of scout troops in Utah are sponsored by the LDS church and many activities are held in Mormon churches, many boys don’t want to join, Lawrence said.

“The truth is that most Mormon scout troops require [that] the troops subscribe to Mormon doctrine.”

Restore Our Humanity’s goal for the LGBT troop was to offer a secular scouting environment free from a particular religious doctrine.

“We had discussions with the BSA about their ‘Duty to God’ [requirement], and we told them, ‘[Our] scout troop will be better because we’re going to teach our troops about all religions and all faiths.’”

With Thursday’s announcement, Lawrence says the Boy Scouts may be on their way to welcoming all children.

Sydney Ireland, a New York teenager, has also been eagerly awaiting a more inclusive future for scouting. She and her brother Bryan started a Change.org petition asking for girls to be allowed into the Boy Scouts. Their petition calls for BSA to “end the discriminatory ban against young women and girls, and allow all children to participate in the Boy Scouts and earn the Eagle Rank.”

From age four, Sydney has participated in her local scouting activities and worked to achieve the prestigious Arrow

of Light award. But because BSA doesn’t allow girls into its ranks, she cannot officially claim the award or earn the rank of Eagle Scout. Sydney still has hope that the BSA will soon open participation to young women so that she can become an Eagle Scout like her brother.

“It means a lot because I’ve been part of this organization for so long, and I wouldn’t have stuck with it if I didn’t really love it.” Sydney said. “I could have just joined a different program, but I didn’t because I really believe in the mission of the Boy Scouts.”

She says she also believes in the values that Boy Scouts learn, including community service “and teaching people — currently only boys — to be great leaders and to serve other people.”

Sydney’s father, Gary, hopes to see scouting become open to all children, including his daughter.

“The [Scout] Oath and Law are the backbone of the organization, and there’s nothing in there that precludes girls or young women from participation,” he said.

If you ask the Irelands, the change feels like it could come as soon as this month. BSA officials will meet in May to discuss creating new opportunities for young women, NBC News reported.

Recent statements made by AT&T CEO and BSA president Randall Stephenson reflect a desire to become more inclusive, but officials have not said what changes these discussions will lead to. Still, Gary is hopeful that the BSA will become a place for all children regardless of gender or sexual orientation. “We just hope that they’ll change their mind and open up the organization for everyone.” Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

A father the law didn’t help

BY MIKKI ENOCH

“Imagine planning a family, imagine waiting nine long months and being over the moon when your baby finally arrives.

Imagine raising your baby for years, being there for them every day. Watching them grow, loving them, caring for them and seeing every single milestone. Now, imagine that is all taken away from you in the blink of an eye. You cannot see your child, your baby. Your life has been taken away from you and the law does not give you any protections and works against you,” wrote Rily Trujillo.

When Trujillo separated from his former partner, they worked hard to co-parent without a legal agreement and things went well for a time. Until eight months ago. One day, without any explanation, he was no longer allowed to see or speak to his daughter. Her mother gave no answers and refused to communicate with him.

Trujillo describes the background of the situation.

“One of the greatest blessings in life is having a family. And just like any other couple, my partner at the time and I wanted to start our own. We planned and with the help of a donor we conceived a baby.

Our baby. We found out we were having a daughter and I was ecstatic. We held a baby shower and took maternity pictures together. I was right there the moment my daughter entered the world and took her first breath. I cut the umbilical cord, spent her first hours of life right by her side and wore my hospital bracelet proudly. I was there to celebrate every milestone with my daughter. Her first smile, laugh, word, steps ... everything. We celebrated birthdays and holidays as a happy family of 3.

She was my entire world, my focus and my reason for doing everything. Watching her grow and learn has been the most precious and beautiful gift.”

Three years after the birth of his daughter, Trujillo began transitioning to the man he saw inside himself. His relationship with his partner and the mother of his child ended. The pair began to co-parent the child. By the time the child reached four years and seven months old, Trujillo’s ex-partner decided she no longer allowed him to see or speak to his daughter.

Utah law does not recognize second parent adoption. Since Trujillo and his former partner were not married at the time of their child’s birth, he was not legally recognized as the little girl’s parent. This was before U.S. District Judge Robert Shelby declared Utah’s “one-man one-woman” marriage laws and constitutional amendment unconstitutional.

Though he feels it in his heart and waits to hear her call him “Daddy” again, Trujillo is fighting an uphill battle to change how the laws are interpreted in regard to couples who chose to have children together but could not marry at the time and where the second parent isn’t biologically related.

Trujillo’s wife, Melissa Trujillo, says the couple has tried every way they can think of to reunite daughter and father.

“We obtained a lawyer and have been trying every route possible to get a custody agreement put into place. There are national guidelines for these types of cases, however they are not the law in every state and, unfortunately, Utah has not updated the laws to protect parents, like my husband, from losing their children.”

The Trujillos say they “are doing everything we can do to bring light to this issue and the injustice that so many families like ours are facing.” Without

having the law in their favor, it will be difficult for them during this fight, but they seem committed to taking it all the way to the Utah Supreme Court in hopes of reuniting their family. They believe “the Utah Supreme Court needs to hear our case and other cases like ours and make the much needed changes.” Q The couple have created a group on Facebook called the #BringBugHome Project (their nickname for Rily’s daughter), and a Change.org petition at bit.ly/bringbughome

Derek and Babs pocket awards Derek Kitchen and Babs De Lay were honored at an event at Pierpont Place Thursday, May 11 by the Vest Pocket Business Coalition, a group of small businesses and entrepreneurs who support locally owned businesses and believe they give a community its “sense of place.”

De Lay, principle broker of Urban Utah Homes & Estates and member of the UTA Board of Trustees, was given the Richard M. Wirick Lifetime Achievement Award, which honors a local entrepreneur or business leader for contributions to the local economy and community through their efforts focusing on local independent business issues and supporting the vitality of the local business community.

De Lay is also a state board member of

the Girl Scouts of America, was president of the Women’s Council of REALTORS, and was on the Salt Lake City Planning and Zoning Commission for eight years.

De Lay also hosted a “women in music” program weekly on KRCL-FM for 27 years.

Kitchen was presented with the Independent Business Advocate Award, which honors a community or educational leader who has promoted and strengthened the position of local, independent business in Utah. Kitchen is co-owner of Laziz Foods and is Council Member representing Salt Lake City District 4. Kitchen is the named plaintiff in the successful lawsuit which struck Utah’s marriage laws, allowing for same-sex marriage.

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

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CALL 1-800-QUIT-NOW.

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

Conference addresses Utah LGBT youth suicide and prevention

BY CONNIE ANAST-INMAN

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention hosted a conference, Stronger Communities: LGBTQ+ Suicide Prevention, packing a ballroom at the Little America Hotel with over 150 mental health professionals, educators, administrators, clergy and informed parents Tuesday, April 18. Several speakers hosted training specifically designed for the unique challenges facing the LGBTQ community, including the prevalence of suicide among those in religious communities in Utah. The Utah Chapter of AFSP is in its seventh year received the 2016 Chapter of the Year award from the national organization.

Opening speaker Taryn Aiken Hatt, co-founder of the Utah Chapter of the AFSP, addressed the startling facts of suicide, citing suicide as the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, with 44,193 people dying by suicide per year.

“Let me just say this — suicide is a health issue. I cannot underscore that enough,” said Aiken Hatt. She emphasized how the mental health community and primary care physicians need to work hand-in-hand to prevent suicide attempts in the same manner doctors work together to prevent other diseases. The medical community gives attention and seeks funding to HIV, heart disease and cancer, since morbidity rates are trackable and readily available for those diseases. The same cannot be said for suicide.

Aiken Hatt stated the reason for suicide attempts are due to many inter-sectional factors, such as minority status, socio-economic conditions and accessibility to treatment. Nine out of 10 people who have completed their suicide attempt having a diagnosable mental health issue prior to their death.

“Today, we are hoping everyone benefits from updated, accurate information

that helps them in a meaningful way.

Family Acceptance — we have found that it has the biggest impact and is the most challenging thing with the prevalent LDS culture in Utah,” said Aiken Hatt.

She also talked about her own experiences, as both a suicide attempt survivor and a survivor of suicide loss. Aiken Hatt lost her father to suicide in 2002.

“When you are feeling hopeless, reach out to your safe person. Before you get to that point, know who your safe people are, then reach out to them. And if you are a survivor of suicide loss, you need to now that it’s okay to talk about it.

You honor their memory by telling their story,” she said.

Keynote speaker Dr. Caitlyn Ryan, director of the Family Acceptance Project for San Francisco State University, addressed several issues specific to the LGBTQ community, highlighting the rate of LGBTQ people who are homeless, those who experience family rejection and religious intolerance as being key factors in suicide ideation and attempts.

Up to 40 percent of homeless youth are LGBTQ, she said, and family rejection compounds the already delicate position of LGBTQ youth. LGBTQ youth between the ages of 15 and 24 are eight times more likely to attempt suicide.

“Family rejection is the most important factor in lowering suicide risks to our youth,” Ryan said.

According to compelling research on young LGBTQ people and families from the Family Acceptance Project, family acceptance helps promote well-being and helps protect against risk. Family rejection, on the other hand, is related

to serious health concerns including suicidality, depression, substance abuse and STDs. FAP has developed an affirmative evidence-based family intervention approach to help ethnically and religiously diverse families prevent specific family rejecting behaviors associated with suicide risk. This family intervention approach builds on family strengths such as cultural and religious values to empower diverse families to support their LGBTQ children. The FAP’s work and research-based best practice materials are helping communities across the country see families as a critical resource for prevention and wellness.

“Early exposure to LGBTQ education can prevent suicide in children experiencing family conflict regarding religion,” Ryan said.

Dr. John R. Blosnich, a research health scientist with the Center for Health Equity Research and Promotion at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs VA Pittsburgh Healthcare System, spoke about the glaring issue facing all LGBTQ suicide prevention professionals — the lack of accurate statistics regarding gender identity and sexual orientation reporting in death reports. Currently, there is not a national repository or information gathering tool which specifically asks information to identify LGBTQ people.

“In the United States, 2 million people die every year. Right now, there is no mechanism in place to report if any of them are LGBTQ. Nothing. Lack of LGBTQ status in data harms our statistics and our ability to use information in the same way as race or gender or risk,” he said.

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June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

Dr. Blosnich stated that the best information they have been able to gather nationally and statewide has been through surveys, yet some families are unwilling to admit gender or orientation variances and some simply do not know. In addition, to reach information regarding minorities and rare outcomes, great amounts of time and large samples are needed.

The Center for Health Equity Research and Promotion has been working closely with reporting agencies to include gender identity and sexuality markers on reporting diagrams in an effort to accurately track causes of death. Beta testing for the reporting will begin later this year.

“By learning about death, we learn about life and prevention, and if our efforts are working. This information can mobilize resources where they are needed,” he said.

David Bond, vice president of programs of the Trevor Project, cited suicide as the second leading cause of death nationwide for people between the ages of 15 and 24, with Utah ranking fifth worst in the nation in 2015. LGB community

members are four times more likely to attempt suicide, with transgender people being up to eight times more likely. Bond spoke about the Trevor Projects, including the well-known hotline and the new online forums and text support for young adults both under 18 and up to 23. The Trevor Project employs several age-based identifying resources to limit connection between individuals under and over 18 for their protection, as well as follow-up with individuals to ensure they are able to access assistance.

“Our goal is not to get someone to the next morning. Our goal is to eradicate suicide completely,” said Bond.

Breakout sessions included “Suicide prevention and Intervention,” “Spirituality, Religiosity and Suicide Prevention Among LGBTQ Youth,” “Turning to Triumph in the Transgender Community,” and “Why Are Our Graveyards full of Rainbows — Considerations for Suicide Prevention in LGBTQIA+ Communities.”

In attendance at the conference were members of Equality Utah, who earlier this year were successful in efforts to repeal “No Promo Homo” laws, which

Salt Lake to participate in local Equality March for Unity and Pride In what local organizers are calling a “call to arms,” two local marches will take place a week before and during the national LGBT March on Washington, dubbed “The Equality March for Unity and Pride.”

“Our LGBTQ rights and protections around the world are under attack,” organizer Mark Angus wrote in a statement to the organizers. “We need every one of you and all of your allies to come together in order to convince our nation and the world that we are fabulous and that they need our contributions as part of any vibrant society.”

UTAH PRIDE RALLY & MARCH The first march will coincide with the planned marches before the Utah Pride Festival on Friday, June 2 at 5 p.m.

“To start the festivities with a bang, we will walk hand-in-hand at the end of the ‘Pride in Solidarity March’,” Angus said.

“Everyone who wants to march with us is

welcome. Please make protest posters and wear rainbow colors.”

The Pride in Solidarity March will begin at 5 p.m. at Harvey Milk Blvd (9th South) and 9th East. A rally will begin at 6 p.m. and the first marchers will step out at 6:45 p.m. with an expected 7:30 p.m. arrival at the Utah Pride Festival grounds.

March participants will be allowed on the Festival grounds free of charge.

“Every time we stop along the march route we will have a chant caller,” Angus explained. “Let your voices be heard. Let yourself be seen and counted. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re fabulous.”

Volunteers will distribute flyers for the following march to be held Sunday, June 11.

NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH FOR UNITY AND PRIDE The national march will begin in Washington D.C. at 10 a.m. EDT (8 a.m. MDT) on June 11. Sister marches will take place on the same day all over the country and

prevented school officials from discussing homosexuality in a positive context. Troy Williams, executive director of EU, said, “We have to do everything in our power to create a culture where LGBTQ youth in Utah know they are valued, included and loved. They need to know there are people and professionals who are fighting for our community and our youth.”

Stronger Communities: LGBTQ+ Suicide Prevention was co-sponsored by the Utah Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Utah Department of Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Division, and Utah Department of Health. The goal is to raise awareness about LGBTQ+ suicide risk, bring research findings to the attention of professionals and the public, and explore strategies for LGBTQ+ suicide prevention in local communities. The conference focused on making mental health, suicide prevention, and education an LGBTQ+ community priority. Q To become an Advocate, go to AFSP.org/advocacy to sign up. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-TALK (8255); Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.

The Trevor Project thetrevorproject.org 1-866-488-7386 or Text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200.

around the world.

“Those of us who cannot travel to Washington D.C. will participate in unity and support with a local rally,” Angus said. “Together we will make this the greatest rally the world has ever seen.”

“We will have speakers of three to five minutes max, chanting and an open mike,” Angus said.

All LGBTQ organizations, as well as local, state and national representatives, are invited to speak. marchers will gather Sunday, June 11, on the west side of the City and County Building. The rally will begin at 2 p.m. with a memoriam to those who helped build the LGBTQ community in Utah and those who sacrificed to get the community where it is today.

At 3:30 p.m. will be a half hour of open mike.

At 4 p.m. the rally will end hand-inhand with a last cheer of Pride.

If you would like to speak on one of these issues or another, email mark.nyal. angus@gmail.com to get on the speaker’s list with a time slot. Q

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

Utah board of education repeals ‘No Promo Homo’ policy Subject to a lawsuit brought

by Equality Utah and the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the Utah State Board of Education repealed a policy that prohibited discussion of anything that could be construed as “promotion” of homosexuality in classrooms.

Utah is the first state to repeal so-called “no promo homo” laws that many states passed as gay and lesbian rights became more accepted in society.

“The amendment removes language in the rule that prohibits advocacy of homosexuality in health education and makes other amendments consistent with the legislation,” West Valley School board member Linda Hansen testified.

The board voted unanimously without discussion to repeal the measure. The Utah State Legislature passed a bill sponsored by Republican Sen. Stuart Adams, which Gov. Gary Herbert signed into law.

Equality Utah and NCLR represented three unnamed students in various school

districts across the state. The lawsuit claimed that gay, lesbian and transgender students were subjected to bullying and unequal treatment in schools because teachers were forbidden from discussing their issues in a positive manner.

“We all agree that students and youth should be treated equally and fairly,” said Troy Williams, executive director of Equality Utah. “All students, whether they’re gay, straight or transgender, deserves a shot at academic success.”

Stuarts’ bill, Senate Bill 196, removed homosexuality from existing law, but maintained that Utah must teach abstinence outside of marriage. It passed with few dissenting votes..

A hold, asked for by attorneys on both sides, granted by a federal judge while lawmakers, the governor and the school board worked on repealing the policy. Equality Utah has said it will look at withdrawing the suit since this repeal. Q

Damn These Heels celebrates 14 years Utah Film Center is hosting the 14th Damn These Heels Film Festival, running July 14 through 16 at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center.

Damn These Heels presents independent, documentary, and foreign films from around the world that explore LGBTQ issues, ideas, and art.

In its 14 years, the festival has presented more than 200 thought-provoking and entertaining films.

Passes are currently on sale on the Utah Film Center website, with individual ticket sales in mid June.

A “Film Lovers” pass is $50 through June 6 and earns you 10 screening tickets, an opening night ticket, snacks and refreshments in the DTH lounge and discounts on merchandise.

A “Film + Party” pass is $75 for those over 21 and adds opening and closing night parties and evening conctail receptions to the Film Lovers pass.

They are also offering VIP passes starting at $200.

Passes and info are available at ­utahfilmcenter.org/dth2017

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

Nat’l Christ United Methodist Church struggles with gay pastors, members While Salt Lake may have an incredibly LGBT-affirming Christ United Methodist Church congregation, the larger organization is struggling with the inclusive policies of some regions.

CUMC has been in the Salt Lake Valley for over 100 years and considers itself a “Recon-

ciling Congregation,” meaning it is dedicated to the inclusion of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities in both the policy and practices.

CUMC has been host to the Utah Pride Festival Interfaith Celebration, as well as the One Voice choir, made up of inging members of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

The national orgnization is deeply divided on such inclusions, especially since the ordination of Bishop Karen Oliveto, who began serving as a pastor in 1992, and became the first openly LGBT person to be ordained as a bishop in the United Methodist Church last year. She was elected in the Western Jurisdiction of the UMC, which includes Colorado, Arizona and Utah.

Her consecration, though, was jeopardized after a member of a separate jurisdiction filed

a complaint with the UMC’s highest court, known as the Judicial Council. Paragraph 2702.1 of the Church’s Book of Discipline states that no “self-avowed practicing homosexual” can be an active member of the clergy.

“I was never named [in the complaint], but it was clearly about me,” Oliveto explained.

Last month, the Judicial Council ruled 6 to 3 that Oliveto would remain a member of the clergy. The court claimed that questions around her consecration came down to a jurisdictional matter, as the Church is divided into regional districts that largely govern their own affairs.

But one major policy did change: The judicial leadership ruled that any clergy person legally married to a member of the same sex is automatically considered to be a “self-avowed practicing homosexual,” and faces expulsion.

Oliveto and her partner, the Rev. Robin Ridenour, have been married for two years.

Although Oliveto will retain her post for now, she said that the Church is currently reviewing her ministry. That could lead to her removal, but Oliveto said that she and the Church are “working together,” calling the process “very thoughtful.”

Oliveto’s consecration is a tentative victory for LGBT advocates who have long been fighting for inclusion in their faith, but the United Methodist Church finds itself at a crossroads over its stance on homosexuality. Many members of the church fear the growing divide between the LGBT-affirming faction and its evangelical membership will split the church in two. Q

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity OUR COMMUNITY’S BRIEFS

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

altgardenclub@gmail.com or go to their Facebook page or utahagc.org/clubs/altgardenclub/ for a complete listing of this year’s events.

Sugarhouse Gayborhood Pub Crawl Saturday, May 20 at noon, the famous Sugarhouse Pub Crawl begins with crawlers visiting nine brew pubs, bars, and restaurants in Sugar House gayborhood.

The free event will end with a drawing for prizes and awards for a Twitter essay contest.

Proceeds will benefit KRCL-Salt Lake’s community supported radio. Local rock group Swantourage performs on Monument Plaza, 1100 E. 2100 South, 3–5 p.m.

Crawlers can get a passport at any of the participating locations then get it stamped at all locations to enter to win at the Monument Plaza at 5 p.m. Other prizes will be given for the best posts at #iheartsugarhouse and #sugarhousepubcrawl.

Participating Locations are: Wasatch Brew Pub, Ruin, Black Sheep at Epic Brewing, Mellow Mushroom, Sugar House Pub, Fiddler’s Elbow, Trolley Wing Company, Tap Room and Campfire Lounge.

Sponsor of the event, Sugarhouse Chamber of Commerce, suggests crawlers use ride sharing or public transit to get to the area. UTA serves the Crawl Area with the S Line Street Car, Bus Lines 21, 307, 320, 213 and 220. SLC Bike Taxi will be in the area to provide transportation to all locations.

Busy Pride Month for Alt Garden Club The Alternative Garden Club announced a month full of activity for members and their friends.

Saturday, May 27: Spring City Tour, organized by the Friends of Historic Spring City.

Wednesday, June 7: “Edible Weeds” at Sugarhouse Garden Center.

Saturday, June 24: Urban Garden and Farm Tour, multiple locations, organized by wasatchgardens.org.

The Alternative Garden Club is for LGBT persons and their straight allies who are interested in learning more about gardening and the natural environment. It generally meets the first Wednesday at the Garden Center in SugarHouse Park. For more information, contact

opinions. What is right for me may not be right for you. Only you can and should choose what works for you.

The blog will be available at utahgayfathers.org/opendoors/

Utah Bears gearing up for Jam-Bear-ee After this long cold winter, Utah Bears is is planning its annual Summer habitat event in McCammon, Idaho. The newly-named Jam-Bear-ee campout is scheduled for July 20–23. Registration will open June 1 and run through July 15.

Registration costs include catered meals like only a bears organization can muster.

Fees are $85 for members and $105 for nonmembers if bought before June 23.

More information at facebook.com/ utahbears.

Watercolor Study of Male Figure God Hates Robots will be featuring a study of the male figure during the Utah Pride Celebration called Aaronic Configuration by G.S. Larson at the gallery, 314 West Broadway, May 19 to June 9.

There will be an opening night reception during the Third Friday Gallery Stroll on May 19.

Larson’s watercolor study comes from hundreds of nude photographs he has shot of men from all walks of life: male models, friends, neighbors, homeless men, hustlers and any subject willing to be photographed.

Aaronic Configurations tells stories about the 25 men in the exhibit. “Hints of emotions, bits of back story and details about the interactions with the models are part of his narrative approach to depicting the male figure,” according to the GHR’s statement about Larsen’s work.

Utah Gay Fathers sharing members’ stories The parenting support group Utah Gay Fathers is sharing stories from their members about the “struggles and triumphs in being both gay and a father.”

“Each of our paths are unique, yet there are similarities. You are not alone nor the first to stare down a path you weren’t sure would lead to happiness,” wrote group leader Ben Visser. “Our guest blogs are their own experiences and

1st Wednesday Utah Stonewall Historical Society Lecture Series Local gay historian and QSaltLake Lambda Lore columnist Ben Williams is hosting a lecture series trhough the summer at the Marmalade Salt Lake City Library Branch. June 7, the topic will be the paradigm shift of gays from seeing themselves as sexually malajusted persons to that of being an oppressed sexual minority and a folk. The Gay Liberation Front on the U of U Campus will be included in the discussion. The lectures are free and go from 7 to 8:30 p.m.

A Pride of Cats during Pride A Pride of up to 125 “show” cats will be at the Rocky Mountain Roundup Cat Show in Salt Lake City during Pride weekend.

Cats from all around the country will compete for Best in Color, Division, Breed and the prestigious “Best In Show,” June 3-4.

This inaugural show and competition for the Wild West Cat Fanciers is sanctioned by The International Cat Association. A portion of proceeds will benefit the Community Animal Welfare Society.

CAWS will have an adoption event for

QMMUNITY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

kittens during the two-day competition.

Dr. Elsey’s Quality Products for Cats is a major sponsor.

There will be two judging sessions Saturday and one Sunday. Joining the judges is Mr Fate Mays, the international president of TICA. Saturday, the designer of WWCF mascot, Kat Karson, the up-and-coming graphic novelist Tracy Butler will be signing copies of her graphic novels and the limited edition lithograph created for the Roundup.

The show runs 8:30-5 p.m. Saturday and 9-3 p.m. Sunday at the Hotel RL Salt Lake City, 161 West 600 South. Spectators bringing five cans of cat food receive a $2 discount on the admission fee.

on Saturday, Sept. 30 at the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City, UT! Tickets and tables go on sale on August 1 to the general public when our keynote is announced!

The funds raised from the Allies Dinner benefits our 501(c)4 organization, which supports our advocacy and lobbying efforts on Utah’s Capitol Hill. Are you interested in sponsoring Allies Dinner?

Email conor@equalityutah.org.

Questions? Give us a call at 801-355-3479.

This event is ADA accessible, please email info@equalityutah.org for accommodations.

within the LGBTQ community.”

Activities include: hikes, a pageant, Olympics, dance parties, live entertainment, county dance lessons, potlucks and food vendors, film screenings, ATV trails (bring your own), smore socials, and more. This year, gay crooner Steve Grande will be the headliner.

Tickets for the volunteer-lead event support Wyoming Equality in its mission and can be purchased at wyopride.org.

VentureOUT DirtChurch: Bike, Soak and Float Trip The extended weekend of June 8–11, VentureOUT will head to Fruita, Colo. to mountain bike, take the Big Gay Raft Trip, and then bike to Iron Mountain Hot Springs for a soak. Fruita is 4.5 hours from Salt Lake and is considered by many to be one of the premier mountain biking destinations in Colorado, with the perfect combinations of terrain to challenge riders of all skill levels and abilities. They will be camping at 18 Road Campground and be taking part in Fruita’s nightlife.

Information on their Facebook page, facebook.com/groups/Venture.OUT.Utah.

Allies Dinner Allies Dinner 2017 will be an unforgettable night. Come for an evening of inspiration and entertainment! Join together with friends as we look to the work ahead.

Save the date for the Allies Dinner 2017

Everything from Angels to Zen 25th Annual Wyoming Rendezvous Pride campout Civil rights organization Wyoming Equality is hosting its 25th annual Rendezvous, 5-day LGBTQ campout in the Medicine Bow National Forest, between Laramie and Cheyenne, Wyo. Calling itself the Rocky Mountain region’s largest LGBT Pride camping event, it brings over 500+ people together each year.

“In Wyoming, we treasure our public lands,” organizer John King said. “Many of us grew up camping, hunting, and fishing with our families and friends. Rendezvous bridges our shared passion for the outdoors and helps to build connections

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Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

quotes “Everyone know I was gay before I did. I got bullied for wearing girls’ clothes, so I stopped and I started wearing guys’ clothes and tried to butch up. I was worried about being femme in any way. I was trying to hook up with girls in middle school. They hated it. And then in freshman years of high school I met this guy who was a junior and I fell in love with him. I was 14.

He never actually became my boyfriend but it opened me up and I came out. I didn’t realize you could have physical relationships without being ‘in’ a relationship. Then I started dating older guys for a while in high school because there weren’t any gay kids when I was growing up.

[They were] in their twenties, when I was 14 or 15. because I had a fake ID, I was going out. That was where I met gay people.”

—13 Reasons Why actor Tommy Dorfman, talking to Attitude about his awkward first gay experiences and coming to terms with his sexuality

“But then I’m watching it, and I appear to be watching the best gay porn I’ve ever watched. My sampling of gay porn is basically just this, but I’m watching it and I can’t believe they’re doing it. You feel like boundaries are being pushed, and that makes me very proud.”

—American Gods writer Neil Gaiman talking about a gay sex scene in the Starz television series

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

Pride is a husband and kids

Pride is

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

the most difficult topic for me to write about.

Now, the evening before my column was due, I imagined Michael Aaron staring at the blank space where “Who’s Your Daddy” will go, and muttering, “Where is it? WHERE THE HELL IS IT?” The problem is I don’t really understand Pride. Yes, I get the celebration and recognize the importance of being visible. Perhaps the confusion stems from my definition of the word “pride.” To me it means a feeling of accomplishment or merit. I was proud when I graduated from college and when I received my FABBY Awards. And the same is true when I think of its antonym: “shame.” I felt shame when I nearly flunked out of chemistry in high school or when I’ve yelled at the boys.

But for me being gay is just a part of me, like my hair color or the fact I’m right handed. There’s neither shame nor pride in those attributes.

A few weeks ago, I was on jury duty. One of the questions the prospective jurors were asked was our marital status. The follow up was to share what our spouse does for a living. When it came to my turn, I answered that I was married, and that my husband is a stay at home parent for our two sons. Essentially, I came out to a judge, a handful

of lawyers, a couple of court clerks, one very hot bailiff, and 51 other prospective jurors.

At the time, I didn’t think those rather mundane demographic answers were prideful statements. No more or less, that is, than the young man seated on my right whose wife was a school teacher, or the single guy on my left, who lived alone with his grouchy cat.

But then something interesting happened: one young man mentioned his boyfriend, a woman her wife, still another guy his husband. And you know what? I felt like I belonged. I did feel pride.

The sense of belonging that I felt is typical. Jen O’Ryan, of Double Talk Consulting in Seattle, is a Ph.D. in Human Behavior. She tells me that a big part of Pride is the sense of connectedness it provides LGBT people. The very celebration itself, after all, commemorates the Stonewall Riots, when individuals united into a community.

“Studies show that children start having feelings of attraction — although it’s not sexualized — around 5 or 6 years old,” Dr. O’Ryan told me. “Unfortunately for those kids growing up in rural, very conservative or non-supportive environments, life can be isolating. It can feel like you’re the only gay person in the world. This reality forces

them to shift their natural queer-identified narrative to one that conforms to what they are told is the norm. Sadly this is true even today with all the progress that has been made by the community.”

Dr. O’Ryan provides free help to parents struggling with their child’s coming out. She works with them on everything from managing previously held expectations for their child’s future to developing strategies for dealing with homophobic relatives.

The end result is a child free to proudly be the person they want and need to be.

So Pride is really just a common theme connecting us as human beings. It allows us to feel a sense of belonging, to be a part of our “tribe,” and to be our authentic selves.

Pride really is the freedom to tell a crowded court room that you happen to be a guy with a husband and kids.

Happy Pride, everyone! Q You can contact Dr. O’Ryan at jen@ mykidcameout.com.

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Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

lambda lore

A crime that can’t be named

BY BEN WILLIAMS

For much

of the first half of 1841, John C. Bennett, the mayor of Nauvoo, was the subject of bawdy hearsay noting his having been seen frequenting the city’s whorehouse, rumored to be seducing married women, and even being an abortionist.

All these tales paled in comparison to the salacious whispering that, as Major General of the Nauvoo Legion, Bennett was said to be promoting young brethren to high-ranking positions in the Nauvoo Legion for sexual favors. So for some time Joseph Smith was informed of the rumors that Bennett was sodomizing young Nauvoo Legionnaires who hoped for advancement in the city’s militia.

These rumors were, of course, reported back to a troubled Smith who pondered what to do with his former confidante.

In particular, the name mentioned the most was 21-year-old Francis [Frank] Marion Higbee, who was promoted to colonel

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under Bennett’s command. The fact that Higbee rose so quickly within the ranks of the city’s militia, had tongues wagging and it was gossiped that he was commissioned a colonel for sexual favors given to Bennett.

Higbee may not have been the only young “Brethren” in Nauvoo hoping to advance in the militia by offering sexual favors to Bennett. Brigham Young suggested that other men may have had sexual encounters with the major general when he stated, “one charge [against John Bennett] was seducing young women, and leading young men into difficulty — he admitted it — if he had let young men and women alone it would have been better for him.”

Smith was well aware of Higbee and his family. Higbee came from a solid Mormon family. He was a son of Elias Higbee, an old Missouri Danite, who had served as the official church historian and recorder. The young Frank Higbee was a veteran of the Mis-

souri Mormon War of 1838. He was ambitious and intelligent, but in Nauvoo Higbee was earning the reputation of living a dissipated life. The young man was known to be “rakish” or having a slightly disreputable reputation.

Informants reported that the young colonel was often seen in the company of Bennett and accompanied the doctor to the only brothel in Nauvoo, where evidently Higbee had contracted a venereal disease from “a French woman” from Warsaw.

This affliction caused Higbee to need medical assistance upon discovering he was diseased. Higbee went to both Smith and Bennett seeking a cure. Bennett gave the young man medical treatment while Smith administered a priesthood blessing in order to heal Higbee’s condition but complained that “it was irksome” doing so.

There was no proof of Bennett’s “homo-libertine” behavior until July 4, 1841, when Smith discovered Bennett in a compromising position with Higbee.

On that date, Smith called upon Bennett to inform him of the incriminating letter Smith had of his having deserted a wife in Ohio. Smith later claimed his intention in going to the residence was to administer another blessing to Higbee. However, more than likely, the prophet deliberately sought out the

pair after informants reported Bennett and Higbee being alone together.

After appearing unexpectedly, the prophet was shocked to find the general and the young colonel in a compromising position.

“I was called on to visit Francis M. Higbee; I went and found him on a bed on the floor.”

The reporter at this point wrote.

[Here follows testimony which is too indelicate for the public eye or ear; and we would here remark, that so revolting, corrupt, and disgusting has been the conduct of most of this clique, that we feel to dread having anything to do with the publication of their trials; we will not however offend the public eye or ear with a repetition of the foulness of their crimes anymore.”

What possibly could have been the offense committed

by Bennett that it could not be named? In 19th century parlance that meant the deed was so offensive that it could not even be described in print.

It is not unreasonable to assume that anal sex was the offense called too “revolting, corrupt, and disgusting” as later Bennett would be accused of “buggery,” which is simply another term for sodomy.

The Mormon newspaper Times and Seasons had at various times accused Bennett of a variety of loathsome offenses including

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June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

“seduction, adultery, attempted murder, prostitution, and abortion.” The “only charge that could have been worse ... was sodomy.”

Some historians refuse to believe that Bennett committed sodomy in Nauvoo. Their logic is that since he was accused of seducing the “sisters” of Nauvoo, Bennett could not have been a homosexual. Bennett was probably not a homosexual in the modern sense but rather polyamorous; open to a variety of sexual experiences.

Smith was now in complete control of his former trusted confidante, having witnessed Bennett “in flagrante delicto.”

Smith then summoned a church council to hear Smith’s accusations of immorality against the physician and the colonel.

Bennett pleaded with Smith not to shame him in front of a church high counsel, but Smith, having the upper hand, was determined to humble him.

When Bennett could not dissuade Smith from bringing him before a tribunal, he attempted suicide by drinking poison. It was a botched effort. Skeptics suggested that as a physician, Bennett knew exactly how to avoid a lethal dose of poison and probably the act was an extreme attempt to solicit sympathy. Still, “the public impression was that he was so much ashamed of his base and wicked conduct that

he had recourse to the above deed to escape the censures of an indignant community.”

The drastic measure of taking poison is substantiation that the deed in which the mayor was caught with Higbee was so shocking and shameful to the customs and conventions of the 19th century, that if made public the dishonor and disgrace of it warranted suicide. “While fornication was frowned on, it was at least understood. For 19th century Americans—especially religious ones—homosexual behavior was beyond the pale.”

Bennett and the young colonel were brought before a church court for censure. Neither one denied the charges of immorality. Brigham Young noted how “downcast” both Higbee and Bennett were, with Young commenting, “When I came into the room, Frank Higbee rather recoiled and wished to withdraw; he went out and sat upon a pile of wood. He said ‘it is all true, I am sorry for it, I wish it had never happened.’”

Higbee’s intense shame as recorded by Young gives added weight to the assurance that the doctor and he had been charged with committing sodomy.

Another reason to believe that the July 1841 immorality trial of Bennett dealt with sodomy is that the disciplinary action against Bennett and Higbee are absent from official church

records confirming that they were guilty of “a crime not fit to be named.” Obviously the court proceedings were handled quietly and discreetly by Smith with only a few church leaders knowing of the event.

This discretionary course of action is understandable only in the context that “the crime of buggery” was involved. Smith would not have dared made record of “accusations of sodomy against Bennett public for fear of destroying the reputations of other young men whom the mayor had seduced.” Even more damaging, if the trial was made public, is the reaction that Smith

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had put a “sodomite” in high positions within the church. Evidently, for Smith it was enough having Bennett exactly where he wanted him, submissive to his domination.

After Bennett began publishing his tell-all letters about what he called villainy in the City of Joseph, William Smith, Joseph Smith’s brother and editor of The Wasp’s retaliated in comments published July 27, 1841. He wrote that Bennett only saw Joseph Smith as “a great philanthropist as long as Bennett could practice adultery, fornication, and — we were going to say — buggery, without being exposed.” Q

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SUMMER MUSIC

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

queer shift

Pride Positivity

BY CHARLES LYNN PEARSON

One thing

I know for damned sure there is power in positive thinking. PRIDE celebration is an excellent time to measure your outlook on life; after all not every day is PRIDE, but it is a great time for Queer introspection. Do you think with abundance at the base of your mindset, or are you a scarcity thinker? Each one of us should regularly chase the questions and habits that surround positivity and how we perceive and act in life.

Positive thinking is a mental and emotional attitude that focuses on the bright side of life

and expects positive results. A positive person anticipates happiness, health and success, and believes they can overcome any obstacle and difficulty. Positive thinking is not a concept that everyone believes and follows.

Some, consider it as nonsense, and scoff at people who follow it. To that—I say bullshit.

There’s enormous research, that supports positive thinking as a fact. To use it in your life, you need more than just to be aware of its existence. You need to adopt the attitude of positive thinking in everything you do.

With a positive attitude you experience pleasant and happy

Nothing says Pride

feelings, something so many Queer people often complain about missing in their lives. This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy, and happiness.

Our whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success.

Even our health is affected in a beneficial way. We walk tall, our voice is more powerful, and our body language shows the way we feel. Those of you who know me, I am a major queer skeptic on most things like this, but I have so badly needed positive thinking the last 7 months that I am now a believer, for the remainder of my life.

Positive and negative thinking are contagious. We affect, and are affected by the people we meet, in one way or another. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through words, thoughts and feelings, and through body language. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive people, and prefer to avoid negative ones? I have ridden my life of toxic people and pretty much refuse to allow toxicity into my day to day. Negative thoughts, words and attitude, create negative and unhappy feelings, moods and behavior.

This is truth, and not a clue.

Grab it, try it, practice it until it becomes habit, and then push it deep into your being.

1.

Positive people expect their plans to work out.

They don’t let fears and worry let them down, and they don’t allow thoughts of failure to dominate their minds.

2.

like Rainbow roses

Positive people don’t dwell on failure. If they fail, they don’t allow the failure to drag then down to negative thoughts, depression and discouragement. When they fall, they get up, try again, or find alternative plans.

3.

They are always busy doing something useful. Positive people don’t stay idle. They want things done.

4.

They don’t wait for change, they create it. Positive people don’t wait for change and improvement. They don’t blame their environment and other people for their life, but set out to make the changes they want.

5.

Positive people learn to let go. Dwelling on negative things that happened in the past helps no one. It’s just a waste of time and energy, and prevents you from living fully in the present.

6.

They don’t wait for happiness, they create it. Positive people focus on happy events, on success on enjoyment, and on taking action. They see and seek results, and refuse to be discouraged by people or circumstances.

7.

Positive people live in the present moment. They live in the present moment and enjoy it. They don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. When facing problems and obstacles they search for solutions, and are sure they are going to find them.

8.

Positive people, never consider themselves as victims of circumstances. To feel being a victim of circumstances and events show negative thinking and lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

9.

Positive people take responsibility for their actions and for their life. They take responsibility for what they did, and don’t blame people or circumstances. They take action to make changes in their life, to progress and to succeed, and do not wait for circumstances to change or people to help them.

10.

Positive people believe they can create effective habits. They visualize, imagine, set goals, hold themselves accountable, ask for feedback, focus on improvement and most of all effectiveness with people and efficiency with things.

Think about it. Positivity is up to you. Q

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

SUMMER MUSIC | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

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Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

guest editorial

March and rally in solidarity

BY CAROL GNADE

As Pride

Month kicks off this June, there couldn’t be a greater contrast to last year.

Instead of feeling hopeful for the future of the LGBTQ+ and allied communities, too many of us are afraid. The current political atmosphere is feeding these impulses of anger and fear and giving rise to a passive acceptance of outrageous, intolerant and hateful rhetoric. From violent attacks on Jewish community centers and six Pride centers, to attempts to block refugees from war-torn countries, the difference this year is palpable.

And while much of the progress the LGBTQ+ community has made in recent past is under attack, we are certainly not alone. The reproductive health rights of all who live in this great country are threatened. The very air we breathe and water we drink is threatened. The safety and protection of some of the most vulnerable in our communities is threatened.

Now is the time to come together and take to the streets — singing, dancing and marching.

We can’t keep quiet and we must let our voices be heard. And now, more than ever, we need absolute solidarity.

This year, many will notice some distinct changes to the annual Utah Pride Week. In addition to the Pride Parade and Festival — which celebrates the wonderful diversity in the LGBTQ+ and allied communities — we will be holding a Pride in Solidarity March and Rally Friday, June 2nd.

In the march, we’re inviting and bringing together groups from various communities in one unified voice to let everyone from local and state leaders, to the U.S. Congress and the White House know that we are watching. Each time they appoint a cabinet member who is more anti-LGBTQ than the last, or pass legislation that threatens any one of us, we will stand strong.

An attack on one is an attack on all.

Whether it’s a threat to women’s rights, or an unethical attack on our refugee and immigrant communities, we will stand together. Even in the conservative stronghold of Utah, with each encroachment to our civil liberties, a single voice will rise that says, “We can’t keep quiet.”

LGBTQ+ people are everywhere. We’re women. We’re men. We’re neither. We’re immigrants. We’re black. We’re white.

We’re Latinos. We’re rich. We’re poor.

We’re young. We’re old. We’re Christian.

We’re Mormon. We’re non-believers. We are everywhere.

And that’s why we can be the glue to bring together so many disparate community groups who are threatened and afraid. Everyone who is troubled for what the recent election means for women, education, marginalized communities or the continued ability to marry the person they love must stand together.

Pride festivals are a celebration, and we will celebrate. But the history of Pride is also a history of resistance. In June 1969, New York City police raided a well-known LGBT bar. Tired of being abused and treated as lesser humans, the patrons of the Stonewall Inn resisted and fought back.

This sparked a worldwide movement and Pride festivals are held around the world, in part, to commemorate this event.

It’s with that same spirit we’ll be launching our own solidarity march with this week’s Pride Week.

But we can’t do this alone. We need your help and presence in the solidarity March, Pride Parade and Pride Festival. The proceeds from the Utah Pride Festival support the Utah Pride Center and vital community programming and efforts that will be even more necessary in the years to come. We hope you’ll join us this May 31-June 4 at the Utah Pride Week and Festival to help us build a brighter future for all Utahns. Q Carol Gnade is the Utah Pride Center’s executive director.

She also ran the Utah branch of the American Civil Liberties Union for 14 years.

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June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

creep of the month

Alex Jones If you

Utah Arts Festival

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

don’t know who Alex Jones is, consider yourself lucky.

Picture a mentally unstable person boiling over in rage and ranting about conspiracy theories on a street corner. That’s Alex Jones, except instead of a street corner, he has his own radio program and video show on the internets.

Jones is a terrible person.

He’s delusional, hateful, and says things that anyone with any sense knows are crazy and have no basis in reality. Oh, and Donald Trump loves him. Who says opposites attract?

Jones has a long history of anti-LGBTQ animosity.

He’s ranted that the Pulse nightclub murders in Orlando were a government conspiracy and that the gay community brought on themselves and/or was in on it.

He recently called Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., who has been investigating Trump’s ties to Russia, “an archetypal cocksucker” and “a fairy” who is “sucking globalist dick.”

In 2015 he said that letting children read “Heather Has Two Mommies” or being respectful of whether a child identifies as a girl or a boy “space-cult, suicide-cult, exterminism, craziness.” The ultimate plan, Jones said, “Is an asexual humanoid.”

He promoted the story that Barack Obama and Rahm Emanuel were gay lovers and that Michelle Obama is transgender.

“I think it’s all an arranged marriage,” he said in 2016. “It’s all completely fake and it’s this big sick joke because [Obama is] obsessed with transgender, just like some weird cult or something. I think Michelle

Obama is a man. I really do. I believe it.” Oh, he also believes that Michelle Obama murdered Joan Rivers.

He’s called Lady Gaga a “goddess of Satan” and claimed that Beyonce, with the CIA’s help, wanted to eat children’s brains.

Did I mention Trump likes this guy?

Anyway, Jones is currently involved in a custody battle with his ex-wife for their three children. According to his ex-wife, Jones broadcasts his show from the home where he lives with the children and she thinks being exposed to this radical extremist rhetoric is bad for the kids.

“He’s not a stable person,” she reportedly told the court.

“He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.”

Now that the custody of his kids hangs in the balance, Jones, who has basically been a tin foil hat salesman and model for years, has changed his tune.

He is, according to his lawyer, a “performance artist” who takes “powerful and aggressive and strong and takes strident positions on controversial issues.”

On April 15, a clip posted to the Internet of Jones saying that what he did was “satire” and that he wasn’t being literal.

“Yeah, I dress up as the Joker and act all crazy and say crazy stuff. That’s called satire,” he said, adding, “I believe everything I’m basically saying.”

The reference to the Joker was an attempt at humor, something he’s not good at. He is also terrible at satire but very good at believing and spewing complete bullshit. With credentials like that, he could get a position in the Trump administration. Q

June 22-25 uaf.org The love of art brings us together. Whether we make it, study it, or simply experience it, art is something we can all gather around and enjoy. Join us this summer at Library Square!

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SPORTS

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

outfield

Genderqueer in baseball’s front office

BY DAN WOOG

Growing up in central California an hour and a half west of Yosemite, Jen Ramos was not exactly a sports fan. But one day 10 years ago, Ramos “randomly” watched a post-season Major League Baseball game and was hooked.

Ramos was intrigued by the strategy needed, and the ana-

lytical perspective that went into every decision. Ramos studied the game, figuring out details and reading books like Moneyball.

At Mills College, Ramos majored in creative writing and minored in journalism. The all-women’s college in Oakland is known for many things — including its transgender admission policy. “Anyone

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who identifies as female, was assigned that gender at birth or is transitioning to female is welcome,” Ramos explains.

The more Ramos learned about the gender spectrum and gender fluidity, the more Ramos realized “I was on that spectrum. I don’t necessarily identify as female.” After “a lifelong journey to figure out why I don’t feel I fit in as a woman” — and many conversations with classmates and professors at Mills — Ramos identified as genderqueer. At the beginning of each semester, instructors ask students which pronouns they prefer. Jen answered “they.”

During their time at Mills, Ramos continued to study baseball. The front office side of baseball operations seemed interesting. After graduation, they wrote about the San Francisco Giants for Aerys, the first online sports network founded and operated entirely by women. But minor league baseball was even more fascinating. Ramos went to Fresno Grizzlies and Modeseto Nuts games. They learned to scout opposing teams, and found mentors.

Ramos also found a career.

Last year, they got their master’s degree at the University of Southern California. They worked on their capstone with Sam Miller, a baseball statistical analyst with the Sonoma Stompers. He recommended Ramos for a position with the independent team, which plays in the Pacific Association of Professional Baseball Club

league.

Which is how the Stompers’ new assistant general manager is — quite possibly — the first non-binary executive in professional sports.

OK, it’s not the New York Yankees, but change has to start somewhere. In this case, it begins with a team that, Ramos notes, is “very progressive.”

In 2015 the Stompers signed Sean Conroy. Miller — the sabermetrician — picked him sight unseen based on his numbers. Miller had no idea he had selected the first openly gay player in all of pro baseball.

Last year, the Stompers became the first coed team in professional baseball since the 1950s, when they added three women to their roster. Two returned this spring.

The Stompers did not set out to break barriers, Ramos says. “They just liked Sean as a player. And they just wanted to sign good players, male or female.”

It was the same when they offered Ramos a job. They were the best person for the job, and gender identity had nothing to do with anything.

Ramos realizes, though, the significance of their position.

“There’s a lot of machismo and masculinity in the sports world — especially in the major leagues,” they say. “They’re not really gender-integrated. A lot of front offices are almost all male.”

As a result, Ramos says, “people think twice before being open about their sexuality (if it’s not straight). In that envi-

SPORTS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

ronment, there’s a lot of worry about what people might say.”

While Ramos believes the stereotype of “toxic masculinity” might be outdated, they know it does exist in some places. “Each team culture and every locker room is different,” they say. “But still, there’s always that underlying layer about safety.”

In Sonoma, Ramos’ experience has been “fantastic.” The front office has been supportive, as expected. But so has the team, the fans and the entire community.

The only negativity Ramos has felt has been online. Those comments could have come from anyone, far away from enlightened Northern California.

“I recognize I’m privileged,” Ramos says.

But they’ve been buoyed by emails and tweets, many of which also came from beyond Sonoma. Many come from non-binary baseball fans. “They

thank me for helping them exist in the baseball space they love,” Ramos says.

Ramos hopes to stay with the Stompers “as long as they want me.” But, like everyone working in professional sports, Ramos also would like to move to bigger leagues.

Meanwhile, they will try to help anyone identifying as LGBTQ, particularly people of color, find their way in the sports world.

The first genderqueer front office executive in professional baseball enjoys being with the same club as the first openly gay professional baseball player. Who knows? Perhaps together they will blaze the path for the first non-binary athlete to play professional sports too.

Either in Sonoma, Calif., or somewhere far, far away. Q

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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | GUIDE TO PRIDE

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

WHATEVER YOUR Why Pride Matters: PASSION...

PRIDE: we come together as one. Facing adversity in any and all ways it may come. The visions we have of love and acceptance are much too strong for fear and hate to divide us. In times like this we want … nay, we must rise up. For we have brothers and sisters here and in faraway lands whose voices have been stripped by power and ignorance. We will unite. We will overcome. Even with every path being barricaded and concrete running our path; we will blossom. Pride is the dandelion that some many people try to prick, prod, spray and get rid of. But every year through every crack we can see and smell and smile at that little yellow blossom of hope. We are the dandelion and there’s nothing on this planet that can stop us. With our arms locked tightly we will light the way for those who have fallen and those who may not know that they have a crack to grow through. Pride: it’s still important to me. When I think I’ll never be able to grow as me it’s my hope for a better tomorrow, my dream of a better today. Pride: my only forever.

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PRIDE is about spreading hope that not only are things getting better but things will continue to improve because we won’t forget the battles, the lives lost and the pain suffered that now affords us a growing list of equal rights in the United States.

But let’s not forget places like Russia, India or Uganda that have criminalized being gay or doing anything that publicizes the LGBT lifestyle. Pride matters because it’s not always obvious that our world is built around straight privilege; which says it’s ok that the top NFL draft can kiss his girlfriend but our gay professional sports hero, Michael Sam is doing something wrong by kissing his boyfriend on television. That kind of controversy needs to end. Gay Pride helps.

—Mary Malla GAY PRIDE is the celebration of life, human rights and ultimately the right to love whoever we want. That is always worth celebrating.

—Christopher Jones AS A LATIN GAY MAN, I’ve been quite lucky and have not experienced much homophobia in my life, but when the attacks in Orlando occurred last June it was the first time in a very long time I felt scared. Once I processed what had happened and saw both gay and straight people unite together I then realized it was not a time to be scared but a time to feel proud of who I am.

Orlando is exactly why we need to attend pride events, to honor those who tragically lost their lives, to show strength and pride during this time. To show that love will win.

—Alberto Rodriquez IN MANY SOCIETIES, being queer is condemned. People are punished, tortured and banished from their communities because of whom they love. In the United States, we take Pride for granted. In more than 70 countries, being gay is illegal. Although we won marriage equality, we have so much work to do, and Pride is an agent of change in our fight for equality.

—Basil Soper

SPECIAL PULL-OUT GUIDE TO PRIDE UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

june 2017 | issue 268 | gaysaltlake.com

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE |

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 268 | june 2017

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UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

Greetings friends:

What a p rivilege I have in w

elcoming everyone As alway to Salt La s, our LG ke City fo BTQ com ward work r Utah Pri m that will in unity has de 2017. much to c spire, ene

elebrate, rgize, and a s empower well as an Even in th us. opportun ity to loo person’s ri e face of very tryin k ahead to g politica ght to dig l times, in nity and to as a place Salt Lake live their of welcom City we a lives hon e and refu State, and re unified estly, safe ge for LG Na in recogn ly, and fre BTQ peo support fo tion. Utah Pride, w izing eve e of fear. ple and o r our com hich grow ry Utah’s Ca th e r m m s u a b n rginalized igger and pital City

ity and w brighter e ill remain communit stands ach year, so. ies across Pride wil has been our City, l a symbol es, we sta always be about c of unwav elebrating nd togeth ering er. The w and hono persevera eek ring who nce we sh we are. In ared in ge also serves as a po aware and both our werful re tting here never tak com minder of . With a fa e for gran love how our history monality and diff bulous pa ted the co we choose ere ra , and of th d ll e e c a . tive effort nd parties We are ga carry on th e hard wo nclvanized we have sp as the bac e momen rk and in k tu e d th m n ro e cause o t in securi

of that wo f human a ng our rig p, we must still be rk. nd civil ri hts to live So, let the g , work, an h ts. It is up party beg d two open to in each one .

I’ m thrilled ly gay Cit of us to to serve a y Council festivities s th e members first lesb and embra . My fam cing all th

ily and I w ian Mayor of Salt at is uniq Lake City ill be out ue and div , and to w Please en and abou erse in ou joy the tim t all week ork with r g ro wing com out there. lo e with yo n g, joining munity. ur friends, in the fa milies, an

d visitors in Salt La From my ke City. A family to nd of cou yours, an

rse, stay sa d on beha fe lf of every Happy Pri one in Sa de! lt L a k e City:

With warm regards,

Jackie Bis kupski

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION

GAYSALTLAKE.COM | ISSUE 268 | JUNE 2017

tors, we of Direc rd a o B d This Pride an ls Love. at Utah ve Equa o m e L a : te n o e b ti th is orn Celebra half of ement al Pride ts mov ty 4! On be u h li 1 a g n 0 u n 2 ri a q k e t il e s e e We e, a civ r our 31 marriag e to Prid our tim in us fo cludes te as Welcom e you jo from in us. Now, in own sta n that in v r a io u h n o u to t in c s e d ed ld g n rf it a e fo c in p x n t s e u e u h T r ough are .u gress t 3O a more d gre with lcaonmtrea, reasnonateCsdesn,theer!arts and minds;rtunity to see this progthathdoPwrindAemFeensdtmiveangl.ue muestvneontt Wem t lo ean l uU antubaro e oppo urdh Pri dly nin cediathe firs h our frhies nd a thethUrotuaghh onear. We have a uniquheendvt. oHehrobesrtt tchasee athn t m w is v ro ti g c wit oic r tvre for us is ryeeKxitccit progrem mee, na dous ou ,d the event llovweth ssa f fo e o in a to g ry e a a u n rs e e te ti c e rt thoewse cele stbivraal hav Wewaerecoonmne togneth etrhto eceirmsbuerpp20o13. N ust 42nd anniv givein fe h e t e h t n e e D d t ra wemcuonity a o dhgaevSehelby he human family m e d to celeb ul allaie s wyhJu com downe. are honore m de b rf es. T will b e g slow 5 d n li n W o ru . e licens nities oeuhriswtoric d marriag commu es in 197 n g a r th in u y o d iv it u e le ; oy rselv n a c g it m n pin rights m u o after re eem lsuappe c n k o a ia b + y m m ic b Q o m u ff c T li h a o rt pa on tohwanrd LGBUtah r ly k s.t T ue o eoure s.in legal affirming basic e m qo str.dW ua leasdaere le uoaus pc d n ue e h o ti y r c w f n W u e o o 0 . c h 0 fo ll t ar r nity as u ers o to tt fo a pas1t,3 d r in e m e d is tednra these united ommu is exn today! h, ande our c resolve odnaetsusre fu s in Utad erday and t s eoals an serv doausr gsoign e c e y n n a e s v is u th d but t g a en c h our g ven stre nity. anding with Festival, hsisto c f our commufo This se u elp reriars t s e Pride ution s k f th r li o ts o a e re n u h a h e v aw to r all membe s. Thank yo triubnity. T nks nm ration e manyr ccoom supepqourt u ilal u ul celeb t, anled fo in o rf r ality fo e g d in n v o elie m opseervyicoeus winand g e lifesty h g in ren for its w ncoura e e ie n -b W h w ll lt e o . a y n e w you for b k it nd de ng y uan erther, acm ldpinrogmeote a h BivTeQa+dvcoocm sgteo r is well unyd nd h,,traan , un ieto ta de Cente uppoert rs LnGs o d s Safe xte SAvGeEnU eg id s in y ar-ro : Utah Pri ued m e K v w re id ri g d o ro v h g n in t in h ues ablseoapro omrttoocuorntispnuoenstoors Paroject and Keep roud to add a Youwrecooffnetr mucyeuasrsdohneolp rss, w ro o p on nenyero iveahl,avsesueprvpices, Queer Acti services. We are verye who have life erestw hfe fortosooumr ags newnjo e actehw spy s d o h n th alt ms a l h l serve sources fabuusloaund e ms, menta g progra .e , and re that wil join gra deElevaterdmany existin pro onships rapists e ti la ri th u P o l re a # f youpth y lify n are some o bilingu health execm m with promote ampaig h progra shops to lt a rk s. e o h ie w il l s m a nta uild a ptive fa as well new me n is to b for ado sitions, g n a in tr d n d My visio o b r. d more to n c d a e n t crisis an ir a stmen cutive d healthy ily adju safe y as exe al to be f it ti o n n u for fam e te c m o p la m r l be a p e our co alize ou il rv re w e s s e u th w to o ers, elp vilege ing out, . For all s and h great pri to com s, sources l unite u re th il a d w p n t a rk e a It is my o shop s services ents, w nding th center th , v fi in y e ls t b it a n s n b n o u u ju o o ti io y r e so SuecoRmm lizoedf . DFir tomrs profess e visit , celebra orec nteers, s. Com g coffee lu ie a n o il v rd tu ri m c e t a a e o -a ff fa c o lf re a . d erse sp Chaseir, Be, suppeonrtteedr by g ommunity center uals an t and div r individ n c fo ra g s ib e rehfuPgride C in v Utawe will be a welcom services and resourc helping us build a ive ner in prehens e a part r and b and com te n e c munity new com Pride!

Happy Ha Steven ctor ve Dire ti u c e Ex

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UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

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GAYSALTLAKE.COM | ISSUE 268 | JUNE 2017

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UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

WEDNESDAYMAY 31 Pride Spectacular

The PRIDE SPECTACULAR will help ring in the 2017 Utah Pride Festival as we celebrate the past, present, and future of our beautifully diverse community, and recognize the recipients of the 2017 Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award, Pete Suazo Political Action Award, Breaking Barriers Award, and Lifetime Achievement Award.

6pm at Marriott City Creek / $75 209 E 500 South

THURSDAYJUNE 1

FRIDAYJUNE 2 Pride Interfaith Kick off this year’s Pride Festival with the annual Pride Interfaith worship service. Many faiths and traditions come together for this service

7pm at First United Methodist Church / Free, 203 E 200 S

Youth Pride Dance A first this year, held on the Pride Festival Grounds — a dance for all LGBT-friendly youth.

7pm at the Pride Festival Grounds — Washington Square and Library Plaza (Enter at 300 E 500 S) Tickets available at the door $5

Pride March & Rally Gathering on Harvey Milk Boulevard, at 9th & 9th, we’ll rally, then march to Pride Festival Grounds. Come out and celebrate, agitate, and stand united!

6pm at 9th&9th / Free. Rally Begins 6:45pm March steps off along 9th South to 200 East, then north to the Festival Grounds. March participants will get a Friday pass to get into the festival grounds free.

Pride Festival Opens Gates are open, vendors are eager to meet you, food is cooking, and let the entertainment begin!

5–11pm at the Festival Grounds / $5 online/$7 at the gates

Opening Ceremonies Friday night is the official opening of Utah Pride 2017. The Main Stage is where it’s at for entertainment, plus booths are open this year!

5pm / Totem City 7:45pm / Voodoo 8:45pm / Opening Ceremonies 9:30pm / DJ Jesse Walker and DJ Mauricio Aviles

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400 S

Q

EXIT

EXIT

ENTRANCE

BIKES

PRIDE STAGE

TICKETS & WILL CALL

200 E

KID ZONE

Q

KARAOKE STAGE

UTAH PRIDE CENTER

PRIDE ELEVATED GARDEN

FOOD VENDORS

PRIDE ELEVATED GARDEN

REDROCK STAGE

BEVERAGES

BEVERAGES

?

SALT LAKE CITY & COUNTY BUILDING

FIRST AID

INFO/ STORE

BEVERAGES

PRIDE ELEVATED GARDEN

MAIN STAGE EXIT

VOLUNTEER AREA

FREE SPEECH

500 S

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EXIT

Q

200 E

FOOD VENDORS

BEVERAGES

ENTRANCE

University: 258 S. 1300 E.

UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

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400 S

STAGE SCHEDULE

KARAOKE STAGE 3–9pm Karaoke

Friday SALT LAKE CITY MAIN LIBRARY

SPOKEN WORD

MAIN STAGE 5–5:45pm Totem City 7:45–8:30 Voodoo 8:45–9:30 Opening Ceremonies 9:30–11:30 DJ Jesse Walker and DJ Mauricio Aviles

EXIT

DANCE STAGE 7–8:50 DJ Jpan Sato 9:05–11 DJ Suzy Solyom

Saturday

BEVERAGES

ENTRANCE

PRIDE ELEVATED GARDEN

DANCE STAGE

THE LEONARDO

500 S

MAIN STAGE 2–2:30 Cheer Salt Lake 3–3:45 Samba Fogo 5:05–5:5- Saliva Sisters 6–6:45 Minx 7:05–7:45 Mama J 8–8:50 Big Freedia 9–11 DJ Citizen Jane SPOKEN WORD STAGE Noon–2 Children’s Book Reading 2:30–3 Indie Blanco 3–5 Wiseguys 5–9pm Wasatch Wordsmiths DANCE STAGE 1–2:50pm DJ Jarvicious 3–4:50 DJ Fundamental 5–6:55 Code1Kenobi & Just Jordan 7:05–8:55 Skittish & Bus 9:10–11 Artemis

RED ROCK STAGE 6–7pm Honey House 7:20–8:20 Debi Graham Band 8:30–9:30 Jill Knight

Sunday KARAOKE STAGE 12–5pm Karaoke SPOKEN WORD STAGE 2:30–5:30 Wasatch Wordsmiths RED ROCK STAGE

Heather May Band

Alise King

Andrea Gibson

Chris Pureka Bitch 3:20–4:10 Talia Keys 4:20–5:20 God-Des & She 5:30–7 Jennifer Corday MAIN STAGE 2:25–3:10 Katya Murafa 3:25–4:10 Salt Lake Acting Company 4:15–4:25 Salt Lake Men’s Choir 4:45–5:30 Hive Riot 5:45–6:30 Parade Winners

The Spazmatics

Well Strung DANCE STAGE 1:05–2:55 DJ Schwanny 3–3:10 Miss City Weekly 3:15–5:05 Club Karamba 5:10–7 DJ

270 South Rio Grande St. In the Historic Rio Grande Train Station www.riograndecafeslc.com

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SATURDAYJUNE 3 OUTdoors & Proud 5K 8–11am, Jordan Park & Peace Gardens 1060 S. 900 West.

Yoga, fitness challenges, volleyball.

5K $35 online registration closes May 26.

Onsite registration $40 at 8. Race at 9.

Pride Festival Gates are open, vendors are eager to meet you, food is cooking, and the entertainment is bangin!

Noon–11pm at the Festival Grounds / $8 online/$10 at the gates

Red Rock Stage Honey House Debi Graham Band Jill Knight DEBI GRAHAM BAND

JILL KNIGHT

DJ JARVICIOUS

Dance Stage

MINX

Main Stage

DJ Jarvicious DJ Fundamental Code1Kenobi & Just Jordan Skittish & Bus Artemis

CHEER SALT LAKE

Cheer Salt Lake Samba Fogo LOUD Saliva Sisters Minx Mama J Big Freedia DJ Citizen Jane SAMBA FOGO

DJ FUNDAMENTAL

SALIVA SISTERS

THE SALIVA SISTERS are an unnatural act. Who would have supposed a girl group singing about fiber, bidets, and bras would have blossomed in Utah? Well, they have. In 20-something years of melody, mirth and mucous, they have performed for groups as varied as the Western Republican Governors and the Gay Rodeo. And, they have performed at every Pride Day since the dawn of time. In fact, an excited fan once exclaimed that the #1 attraction at Pride was their fossilized remains! The Saliva Sisters are unquestionably the best act in their price range.

JUNE 2017 | ISSUE 268 | GAYSALTLAKE.COM

MAMA J

UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

The purpose of MAMA J is to remind people that we are all connected.

We are all the same. The only thing separating us is the belief that we are different. Mama J’s music is soul.

It’s rock. It’s raw. It’s real. Each song is a prayer. An affirmation. Mama J’s music inspires people to look inwards.

Not outwards. Mama J is free. She is a survivor. She has overcome a lifetime of trauma and stands triumphantly on the other side as the highest version of herself. She stands in the light and in her truth. Watch out for her first EP, “Mama” which will be released this summer and will be available for free download at www.MamaJ.love

DJ CITIZEN JANE

BIG FREEDIA

BIG FREEDIA, known as the Queen of Bounce, is a New Orleans-based rapper and ambassador of Bounce music.

A vibrant twist on hip-hop, Bounce music is characterized by call-and-response lyrics over rapid-fire beats and booty-shaking.After running the New Orleans club scene for over two decades, Big Freedia is now bringing the Bounce movement to a world-wide stage with her hit reality show, Big Freedia Bounces Back on Fuse. The weekly docu-series, now in its sixth season, follows the life of a gay choirboy turned Bounce rapper and remains the highest rated original series on the network. In 2015, Freedia collaborated with Beyonce on the Grammy-nominated single, “Formation.” A collaboration with pop-vocalist Sia for “Eye of the Needle” was released in 2015 as part of the Adult Swim Series and Big Freedia’s single “I Heard” was released in February. Freedia’s first LP, “Just Be Free” was named one of the ‘best electronic releases of 2014’ by Rolling Stone and was critically acclaimed in outlets such as Pitchfork.com, SPIN.COM, USA Today, and consequenceofsound.com.

Not many DJ/Producers can say they’ve got what it takes to break through the subtle music barriers between several diverse groups, but then again none of those DJ’s are DJ CITIZEN JANE. The Cuban American, Miami born Pied Piper of the decks has been whistling her own unique tune and now is one of the most in-demand DJs in the country. Her resume reads like a circuit party passport that keeps growing every year. Her ability to read and keep a crowd going has allowed her to obtain resident DJ and headliner DJ billing at the hottest clubs, venues and musical festivals in the US, Canada and beyond including headliner for LIVE NATION events and has had the honor of performing at the “World’s Most Famous Arena” Madison Square Garden.

Citizen Jane was the only woman on the 2016 Folsom Fair billing an event women are rarely invited to spin and turned it out with a widely huge successful set at their crown night event “Magnitude”. Even the Godfather of Promotors Jeffrey Sanker has booked Citizen Jane to set the dance floor on fire. Citizen Jane was named by Bump and Logo TV as the “Hottest DJ” in Miami.

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Red Rock Stage

SUNDAYJUNE 4 Pride Parade The Pride Parade begins in the same location as last year, West Temple and Second South, heading east on Second South to Fourth East.

Heather Mae Band Alise King Andrea Gibson Chris Pureka Bitch Talia Keys God-Des and She jennifer Corday

10am / Free, Second South downtown

Pride Festival Opens Gates are open, vendors are eager to meet you, food is cooking, and let the entertainment begin!

12–7pm at the Festival Grounds / $8/$10 at the gates

Dance Stage

ALISE KING

DJ Schwammy Miss City Weekly Club Karamba

BITCH

TALIA KEYS

ANDREA GIBSON

BITCH is a queer icon who is a singer, producer, actress, entrepreneur and writer. She’s known for her unique brand of electric violin, bass, ukulele and keytar rock. Her shows, like her name, are exercises in self-liberation. Her new project, BEACH, is an upbeat show that intertwines her electric violin and feminist politics and involves an Alligator who triggers dance-y beats.

CHRIS PUREKA

GOD-DES & SHE

GOD-DES & SHE are musicians on a mission.

The out hip-hop and soul duo aren’t content with just making music — they’re building community and treating concert-goers to a unique experience where appreciation is fully reciprocated. A hip-hop/ pop/soul duo bred in the Midwest, God Des & She now play to packed venues all over the world from New York to Sweden.

JUNE 2017 | ISSUE 268 | GAYSALTLAKE.COM

JENNIFER CORDAY

UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45 JENNIFER CORDAY is a front-woman and an entertainer with an incredible personality who will win you over with her charm, her wit, and her irresistible charisma on and off the stage. She is an accomplished guitarist, bassist, and cellist, as well as a passionate vocalist and skilled songwriter and storyteller. Her music has been featured in several award-winning lesbian films, namely Elena Undone, And Then Came Lola, We Have To Stop Now, Second Shot, Methhead, and Crazy Bitches.

Main Stage Katya Murafa Salt Lake Acting Co Salt Lake Men’s Choir Hive Riot Parade Winners The Spazmatics Well Strung

HIVE RIOT is a synthy, dance-fueled party hosted by the electric alchemy that is Dustin Gledhill and Mindy Gledhill. Rooted in the Beehive State, but stretching to Manhattan (where Dustin lives) and London and New Orleans and Nashville and all the way back to 1984 for that matter, Hive Riot is the sound of letting go.

THE SPAZMATICS were born in the spring of 1983 when physics professor Kevin Stigwood of Alta Dena High in Thousand Oaks California, lost a debate over String Theory to an upstart pupil in front of the entire student body and faculty. As agreed to by both parties, the loser would have to do anything that the winner demanded, and the victorious prodigy demanded that Mr. Stigwood perform “She Blinded Me With Science” by Thomas Dolby during half-time at an upcoming state basketball championship game.

SEE YOU AT

The New York Times recently called WELL-STRUNG “A talented quartet of men who sing and play instruments brilliantly fuses pop and classical music from Madonna to Beethoven.” Well-Strung is a string quartet with a modern twist. The group plays universally recognized classical pieces while singing pop music hits from the likes of Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, and other pop stars for a uniquely engaging experience.

UTAHPRIDECENTER.ORG/FESTIVAL

SPONSORS

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION

PRIDE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

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JUNE 2017 | ISSUE 268 | GAYSALTLAKE.COM

UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

Thank you to the 2017 Pride Festival Sponsors.

FESTIVAL SPONSORS

GOLD SPONSOR

PARADE SPONSORS

GREEN PRIDE

BRONZE SPONSORS

SILVER SPONSORS

COPPER SPONSOR

PLATINUM MEDIA SPONSORS

DANCE STAGE RED ROCK STAGE

48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | UTAH PRIDE GUIDE 2017 PULL-OUT SECTION

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June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

GUIDE TO PRIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

Modern Weddings Classic Setting

Thomas S. Monson Center 411 East South Temple, Salt Lake City, UT 84111 801-213-8770 monsoncenter.utah.edu

50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SUMMER MUSIC

June 24

Flagstaff: Pride in the Pines Flagstaff, Ariz. flagstaffpride.org The “Pride in the Pines” Festival June 24th 2017 at the Thorpe Park Ball Fields. Celebrating 21 yearsand featuring Lisa Lisa on the main stage Saturday: 12-9pm June 22–24

Pocatello LGBT Pride

2017 Local Prides and LGBT events

There are Pride events across the Intermountain West. Here’s what we found: May 31 –June 4

Utah Pride

Salt Lake City, UT utahpridecenter.org

See our coverage on the previous page for full details June 8–10

Casper Pride Weekend Casper, Wyo. fb.me/CasperPrideWeekend Casper Pride Weekend starts off with a film festival on Thursday, June 9.

A hoe-down dance is planned that Friday. The annual picnic is Saturday at Crossroads Park with free food, live music, performers, face painting, games, and free Rapid HIV testing.

Saturday night is a drag show at Backwards Distillery and music is planned on Sunday. Hosted by Casper PFLAG. June 9–12

Albuquerque Pridefest

Albuquerque, N.M. abqpride.com/ The 41st annual Albuquerque PrideFest celebrating the LGBTIQ community in New Mexico starts Friday night, June 9, to get the community together. On Saturday is the Albuquerque Pride Parade starting at 10 a.m., followed by the main event at Expo NM with dance, music, expression, art, fun and diversity.

This annual event averages about 9,000 people mostly from all over the Southwest.

June 10

Cheyenne Pride in the Park Cheyenne, Wyo. wyomingequality.org/events/

On Saturday, June 10 from noon to 3 p.m. is a free barbecue that kicks off Cheyenne Pride festivities. They’ll have hot dogs and hamburgers and sides, music and games at the Lions Park Gazebo, located on the beach of Sloan Lake, 4603 Lions Park Dr. A Pride March is planned in the morning and a dance at the Plains Hotel in the evening.

June 10

Jackson Hole Teton Pride

Jackson Hole, Wyo. facebook.com/JacksonPFLAG and wyomingequality.org/events Teton Pride is an annual Jackson PFLAG potluck picnic at Phil Baux Park on Saturday, June 10. 3:30–6 p.m.

They are also considering a parade from the Town Square to Phil Baux Park just before the start of the picnic.

June 16–18

Bisbee Pride

Bisbee, Ariz. bisbeepride.com Bisbee Pride will present a Pride Village in Grassy Park all weekend.

Friday night is a lingerie pub crawl, Lascivious Lingerie Pageant and the Midnight Miners and Madames Street Dance. On Saturday, there will be cocktails at the Pride Village and entertainment from 10 a.m. — 5 p.m., a wine tasting, live theater. A live performance of “Are You Married?” with Robin Taylor follows. At 5 p.m. is the Bisbee Pride Parade — Celebrating Diversity, then the “LOL - Laugh Out Loud” live comedy show hosted

by Dana Goldberg with Sampson McCormick and the Pubes. Live bands will play at the dance party that night.

On Sunday is Twisted Sister bingo at 11 a.m.

June 16–17

Boise Pride

Boise, Idaho boisepridefest.org This year, the Boise Pridefest will be hosting its first 2-day festival with a mix of local entertainment national headline acts, incliding Ty Herndon,

Frenchie Davis, Sam Tolson, Jason CoZmo, Erika Gaga, Rebecca Scott, Blaze & Kelly, Trist Fishman, Minerva Jayne, Poison Waters, and Spyke Naugahyde. Friday runs from 6 to 9 p.m and Saturday from noon to 3:30 p.m. at Capitol Park June 17–18

Denver Pridefest

Denver, Colo. glbtcolorado.org/pridefest This 2-day festival is at Civic Center Park in downtown Denver with a center stage, a Latino stage and Smirnoff DanceWorld. Headliners include Jennifer Holliday, Chad Michaels, Peppermint, and A.B. Soto. DJ Dave Audé will run the dance stage. The Big Gay 5K will take place at 10:00 am Saturday June 17th. The race will start and end in Civic Center Park. The PrideFest Parade goes from Cheesman Park to Civic Center via Colfax Avenue Sunday, June 18 starting at 9:30 a.m.

June 17

Elko Pride

Elko, Nev. facebook.com/elkopride June 21–25

Durango Pride

Durango, Colo. durangopride.org Durango Pride Festival begins Wednesday, June 21 with a movie night at Animas City Theater. Thursday is a cocktail reception Rochester with Big Mama Donna and comedy night. Friday morning is mountain biking at Horseshoe Gulch and that night a black light glow dance at ATC with Imaginario Circus and a performance at Derailed. Saturday at noon is a Pride procession on Main Ave, followed by the Pride Festival in Buckley Park trhough 6 p.m. At 9 p.m. will be a drag show at ATC with a RuPaul’s Drag Race queen followed by dancing. Also at 9 p.m. is karaoke at 8th Ave Tavern and entertainment at Derailed Sunday brings bloody Marys and bingo at Plate and the Animas River Parade with Mild to Wild Rafting

Pocatello ID pocatellopride.org Pocatello Pride returns with keynote speakers, entertainment, awards, food and bar. See the site for details.

June 24

Wyoming SuperDay ’17

Cheyenne, Wyo. wyomingequality.org/events/ The 35th annual HollyFrontier Superday is a yearly tradition to support equality and non-discrimination in the Equality State. This year it is on Saturday, June 24, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. with rides, refreshments, live music, demonstrations, games, contests, exhibits and an arts and crafts show. Also, several sporting events, including a HollyFrontier 5K/10K Run/Walk, the Jackson’s All-American Grill Volleyball Tournament, the HollyFrontier Tour de Prairie Cycling Adventure and a Show & Shine Car Show, not to mention a Special Friends Duck Derby. Lions Park Gazebo, 4603 Lions Park Dr. July 8–9

Colo. Springs PrideFest

Colorado Springs, Colo. coloradospringspridefest.com PrideFest takes place July 8th and 9th in America the Beautiful Park.

Saturday is Family Day with activities for kids of all ages and shows on two stages. Sunday, the parade starts at 11 am at Cimarron and Tejon, marching North to Colorado Avenue and then West to the park to enjoy the PrideFest picnic.

July 10–17

Four Corners Regional Campout

McPhee Reservoir, Colo. campout.moonfruit.com In its 23rd year at a secluded campground near Dolores, Colo., the LGBTQ community comes to the lake and around the bonfire. July 10th officially kicks off the full week of fun in the sun on McPhee Reservoir.

The weather last year was beautiful and 100 campers from all four states of the four corners and beyond attended. Pitch a tent or bring an RV. This year’s theme is Wet and Wild.

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

July 21–22

Sep 9

Deming, N.M. demingpride.org In its fifth year, Deming Pride begins Friday July 21 with a meet and greet and sponsor party at Starmaxx Margaritas Restaurant and Lounge from 8:00 to midnight, with drink specials and pride entertainment. On Saturday the showtime starts at 8 p.m. with Jordan Mathews, Kristi Waters, Jessica Michaels, Vivika d’Angelo Steele, and Glittery Caliente.

July 22

St George, Utah bit.ly/stgeorgepride17

Deming Pride

Reno Pride

Reno, Nev. northernnevadapride.org Northern Nevada Pride CommUNITY Pride Parade, March, and Festival will be on Saturday, July 22 in Reno, Nev. The parade will leave California Ave. at Hill St. at 11 a.m. and take Arlington Ave to Wingfield Park for the Festival.

Aug 5

Ogden Pride

Ogden, Utah ogdenpride.org The 3rd annual Ogden Pride Festival will be held on Aug. 5 again at the Ogden Amphitheater on the grounds of City Hall. With the theme “Rise Together with Pride,” the free event will go from 1 to 8 p.m. with booths, food and a stage full of entertainment.

Aug 16–20

Wyoming Equality Rendezvous

Laramie, Wyo. rendezvouswyoming.org Rendezvous is a 5-day campout in the Medicine Bow National Forest, between Laramie and Cheyenne Wyo. that provides a friendly, safe, LGBT affirming environment for everyone, from everywhere. Pitch a tent, bring an RV and join us for 5-days of making new friends while celebrating Pride — Wyoming Style. Activities include games, live entertainment, dancing, ATV trails (bring your own), socializing, karaoke and more.

Rendezvous is the Rocky Mountain Region’s largest LGBT Pride Camping Event. Breakfast, lunch and dinner is available for purchase each day. Friday brings drag queen bingo and comedian Jessica Kirson. Saturday brings a festival, beer bust, Rendezvous Olympics, and a concert by “All Anerican Boy” Steve Grand. On Monday, the 21st a total eclipse of the sun will be visible from Wheatland, about 90 minutes north of the camp.

St George Pride

St. George Pride will take place from 2 to 10 p.m. at Vernon Worthen Park, 300 S 400 E, St. George. Details are still takong shape, so watch the Facebook page.

GUIDE TO PRIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

August 5th

September 15–17

Santa Fe Pride Santa Fe, N.M. santafehra.org

Friday evening, September 15 will be the Santa Fe Pride Parade starting at the state Capitol and running north along Old Santa Fe Trail to the Plaza and north along Lincoln Ave to Federal Place. Satruday is the festival in Fort Marcy Park Sep 28–30

Idaho Falls Pride Idaho Falls, Idaho idahofallspride.org Taking place at the Shiloh Inn and Convention Center, 780 Lindsay Blvd, Idaho Falls Pride will kick off Thursday night with Comedy Night, followed Friday by a Pride Drag and Comedy Show and Pageant. The Idaho Falls Pride Parade starts at 10:30 a.m. at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 555 E St and travels to the Shilo Inn. Pride is a party on the back patio of the Shilo Inn with vendors, kid’s games, music and drinks and food available from Keefer’s Island Restaurant.

Sep 28–Oct. 1

Moab Pride

Moab, Utah moabpride.org Moab Pride starts off with Gay Adventure Week with Jeep safaris, river running, hikes and other outdoor events that make Moab what it is. Evening events will take place Thursday through Saturday, with the Visibility March happening Saturday morning, ending up at the festival.

Details still forthcoming. Watch the site and Facebook page.

Ogden Amphitheater 12-8 pm Free Entrance Great Entertainment Fun for the Whole Family

Oct 19–21

Las Vegas Pride Las Vegas, Nev. lasvegaspride.org Events including the annual Las Vegas Pride Night Parade on Oct. 20, and Las Vegas Pride Family Festival on October 21–22. Details still forthcoming.

visit us online

ogdenpride.org

52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

An interview with Andy Cohen, coming to Salt Lake with Anderson Cooper

BY ELAINE STEHEL

Andy

Cohen has a perfect Mother’s Day message for moms like his who love their gay kids — asked if his confidence on-screen was something that he felt he had to work on, or if it came naturally, Cohen responds thoughtfully, “I think my mom gave me my self-confidence. She’s very fearless … I always knew that anything was possible.”

I spoke with Cohen over the phone and learned that he has never before visited Utah.

“I’m excited — seems like a gorgeous place,” he assured me, and I told him, yes, our mountains are breathtaking. I also broke the news to him that Utah is a difficult place for young LGBTQ kids to grow up. We rank fifth in the nation for youth rates of suicide, and between 20 and 40 percent of our homeless youth identify as LGBTQ. “That’s terrible,” Cohen sympathized.

I asked him what he would you say to youth here in Utah who see him as an inspiring figure — the nation’s first openly gay man to host a late-night talk show.

His answer is thoughtful, and encouraging: “If you can’t find your happiness now, you need to find a support group of friends who will love you for who you are. Just rely on that support group to be your community and your support. Your life will get better, I promise. I didn’t

think I would be able to come out either — and now, here I am.”

“Live at the Eccles” on Saturday, June 10th will bring Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen to Salt Lake City for “AC² — An Intimate Evening — Deep Talk & Shallow Tales,” which the website for the George S. & Dolores Dore Eccles Theater bills as “an unscripted, uncensored and unforgettable night of conversation” with the two Emmy-award-winning journalists, television personalities, authors, and friends.

In anticipation of welcoming them to Salt Lake City, I asked Cohen about how he and CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360° anchor Anderson Cooper decided to collaborate on AC². Admittedly, it took me longer than it should have to realize it’s called “AC²” because both Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen share the initials, “AC.” Cohen tells me they’ve been friends for many years, have “always had a great rapport,” and how these evenings feel “like going out for cocktails with me and Anderson.”

Cohen is humble, when I ask him how he knew he wanted to be himself, on television. How, I wonder, when the only examples of “reality television” people were familiar with were talk shows, had he imagined people might want to watch him, or others, simply being themselves?

“I never expected anyone to want to watch, I just always wanted to be on TV, or in TV, it’s just always what I wanted to

do,” Cohen said.

Many gay men consider themselves feminists, because they can identify with some of the discrimination, bullying, and casual degradation that women face.

And many feminists are quite critical of The Real Housewives franchise, of which Cohen is producer. Feminists claim the show perpetuates harmful stereotypes of women. I ask Cohen how he responds to critics of The Real Housewives?

“I think that if The Real Housewives was the only portrayal of women on TV, or anywhere, that would need to be examined, but ... I think it’s a real look at a microcosm of the way that friendships of women play out, some great, some not so great.”

Knowing what you want to do, and being successful at doing it are of course two different beasts to tame. Cohen says, “my passion always got me to the next level,” from a CBS intern to a senior producer over the course of 10 years. To young journalists today, he’s encouraging: “Just be true to yourself, and follow your passion. Just do what you love.”

Every evening now, Cohen is able to do exactly this — be himself — on his late-night talk show, Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. This show is what Cohen tells me he is most proud of in his career, calling it “a real representation of me, every night on TV — it’s fun, and I’m certainly proud of being the only openly-gay late-night talk show host.” Q Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper will be at the George S. and Dolores Doré Eccles Theater Saturday, June 10th, 2017 at 8 p.m. Tickets are available at artsaltlake.org or 801-355-ARTS. PHOTO: GLENN KULBAKO

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

Guest House Ballroom

Post Chapel Commander’s House

Bandstand

Lassonde House Officers’ Club

Historic Fort Douglas

110 South Fort Douglas Blvd. Salt Lake City, UT 84113 801-587-1000 | www.universityguesthouse.com

2017 / 2018 oct Aladdin

19–22 Family Series

nov Carmina 3–11 Burana

with Serenade

dec The 2–30 Nutcracker

New Sets and Costumes!

feb Cinderella 9–25

apr The Shakespeare 13–21 Suite with Return to a Strange Land and Summerspace

may National 18–26 Choreographic Festival

season tickets on sale now!

801·869·6920 | balletwest.org return to a strange land. artists of ballet west | photo by beau pearson

54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | REVIEWS

Bless David Sedaris’ Normal Heart

BY CRAIG OGAN

David

Sedaris owns Utah, at least that part listening to NPR. You know the audience at Eccles Theater in DT Salt Lake City comes from NPR when KUER host, Doug Fabrizio appears and gets a half-standing ovation punctuated by the NPR-listener mating call, “Woot, Woot”, from men and women alike.

On introduction Sedaris calls Fabrizio the best looking man in Public Radio, (a low bar?). More woots.

He owns the audience from the start with a gently mocking reference to the Little America as his favorite place, calling it a “Five Star Motel” to knowing laughter from the audience. Then a quick a monologue on the current White House occupant and people’s reaction to the election.

It was mocking, but intelligently so. It pointed out the folly of those who don’t

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

like the current president and their sighing and facial expressions of despair. He tells about emailing a lifelong friend, jokingly expressing outrage at her “#resist rant.” His follow up email of “just kidding” bounced back after she blocked him.

Sedaris is funny, insightful, poignant, piercing, sometimes mean, but always gentle. No laughs as he talks of sister, Tiffany, who recently committed suicide. He is sad and still angry at her for past slights and at his reaction to her death.

Sedaris is gay, has a long time partner, Hugh, but he doesn’t make a big deal out of either. He loves Hugh and says so talking about their lives as permanent — sometimes exciting, sometimes boring, nothing out of the ordinary, just always loving.

In his public radio appearances, bestselling books and New Yorker columns, Sedaris has been open about his life. His first big hit, “Santa Land Diaries”, was shot through with gay iconography, but its first airing in 1993 attracted no backlash. His appearances are not boycotted

by anyone, and more street preachers protest LDS general conference in a weekend than in his entire career.

He normalized being gay. The NPR audience and other non-LGBT fans have learned not be threatened by gay men and their loving relationships by reading and listening to the humor of Davis Sedaris.

Missed him in May? He’s back Thursday, June 22 at Weller Book Works at 7PM, Trolley Square to meet and greet. Q

REVIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 55

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

Review: Erasure ‘World Be Gone’

BY PAUL CAMPBELL

When you

have been a fan of a group for over 30 years and their music has played an important role in your transition from childhood to adulthood, providing a sanctuary and confidence in a young gay mans life, it can be unnerving to hear new material. Will a new album live up to the decades of expectations and find a place in your heart?

Such is the case for me for Erasure’s new album “World Be Gone,” released May 19.

Will I like it from the first listen? Will it become an anthem for my life as their previous material has?

The first single, “Love You to the Sky,” has a safe catchy sound both very familiar to Erasure fans and reassuring that our boys are still kicking. Once you get past the first track, however, is where you will find the true joy and even, dare I say, a little surprise as to the gem this album has turned out to be. Andy Bell and Vince Clark are in fine form and still at the top of their game. Throughout “World Be Gone” there is a maturity and confidence on display, the lyrics are reflective of the turbulent times we are living in and fear we see around us, but in true Erasure fashion an overwhelming sense of optimism and hope comes through.

For about a week I have surrounded myself with and listened to the entire album numerous times. The title track, with a haunting poetry of words and deliciously distinctive Erasure synth pop bliss, has melted my heart and is a stand out track on the album. It is not the stereotypical high energy Erasure song, but slower, quieter, more delicate, and aching in its beauty. It is the type of song which could only result from years of trust and collaboration between Bell

and Clark. Other standouts include “Be Careful What You Wish For,” and “Still It’s Not Over,” an ode to the battles still being waged in the fight for equality and freedom to be who we are.

“World Be Gone” is just what I needed to hear at this very time and place — it is a love letter to fans and brings a message of hope and optimism for the world and our future. Q Erasure indicated their intention to tour the United States in 2018. Let’s hope this brings them back to Salt Lake City in order to hear this excellent new work performed live.

56 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | RISING STAR

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

Mich. viral spelling-bee sensation Joe Dombrowski on the lesson he’s teaching his students by being out

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Joe

Dombrowski never expected to end up on Ellen after his fourthgrade students at Oakland Elementary in Royal Oak, Michigan hilariously attempted to spell made-up words — and a queen’s name from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” — as an April Fools’ joke. But then again, Dombrowski never expected the legendary prank, which he orchestrated, filmed and posted to his social media, to seize the attention of admirers from around the world... including Ellen DeGeneres.

Just days after the video went viral, the 28-year-old teacher was a guest on the iconic comedian’s talk show. But it wasn’t attention he was after. In addition to receiving a generous $10,000 check from

Shutterfly made out to Oakland Elementary (and $10,000 for him, personally) — the school largely educates children from low-income families — the teacher and now-famous trickster says he was elated that “Ellen really gave me a platform to put such a positive light on education, which is where my heart is.”

That crazy, surreal day, his heart was in the right place, but his head? Not so much.

Instant internet fame will do that to you.

“Once Ellen called, it truly hit me how big this whole thing had gone,” Dombrowski tells me, still reeling from the experience. “When I watched the interview, it all started coming back, and I just realized that I blacked out completely during it.”

This is how he remembers it: Ellen kissed him, he made her — major daytime talk-show host, Glamour Woman of the Year honoree, Emmy winner, Dory — laugh, and then the two shared a special behind-the-scenes moment. During a commercial break, Dombrowski expressed to her how her confidence as an out lesbian — and the fact that “she’s such a strong role model for all people, especially the LGBT community” — helped transform him into a confident, out gay man, both privately and professionally.

“I was actually fortunate enough to tell her that,” he explains. “She was like, ‘Hey, that truly means so much.’”

“And then the money came into play, and I was like, oh my god. Ultimately, I couldn’t believe that I was able to provide a gift to my students that I wouldn’t have been able to provide on my own, so her giving me the opportunity to provide that for my school is just so humbling and mind-blowing. It felt wonderful to know that somebody believed so much in education that they would give so much back to the community.”

Some things money can’t buy, and in Dombrowski’s case, that something is a powerful, Ellen-inspired lesson he’s teaching his own students: be yourself.

“I’m always true to myself,” he says.

“I don’t lie to my students, but I’m here to teach and that’s the bottom line. I’m always myself. I listen to ’90s divas, but it’s OK to like a certain type of music and it’s OK to be who you are. The person you see in the classroom is very much the way I live my life and I have absolutely no shame about what I bring to the classroom.

“It’s been really great over the years to see how students connect to that energy and realize that it’s OK for them to be themselves, whoever they are. I always send that message home with them.”

Of course, he does so in his own “Mr. D” way — sometimes by name-dropping a drag queen during a spelling bee, his viral claim to fame. And if you think that’s the biggest prank he’s pulled, the joke’s on you. For Dombrowski, it’s just another day.

“I’ve been doing this forever!” he says, geeked. “Just the other day, I convinced them that April the giraffe’s baby was PHOTO COURTESY OF JOE DOMBROWSKI

RISING STAR | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 57

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

named Baby Joe after me being on Ellen because it was born on the same day.” He cracks up. “My classroom family has been saying, ‘Joe, it was funny, but you have other stuff out there.’”

Those amazingly ridiculous words he asked his students to spell were made up on the spot (“blorskee,” for instance — “as in, ‘I lost my blorskee at a carnival,’” he recites during the video). Except for one: the name of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” contestant “Ro-laska-tox.” “Ro-laska-tox was surprised when Jinkx took the crown,” he told his students. “If you didn’t get the hyphens, I’m sorry, you got that word wrong.”

Dombrowski attributes the success of his epic spelling-bee joke to the time and day he posted it — his lunch hour, on a holiday — and the kid’s hysterical nothaving-it grumbles.

Its instant success surprised him as much as his public outing.

“It was a bit of a shock at first,” he says, regarding the assumptions made

q scopes JUNE

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

The world seems calm at the moment. While it is clearly an illusion, a strange sense of peace will become normal. Enjoy it and take the time to get career and personal matters back in order. A partner or family member may have a hard time understanding your happiness. Nothing is wrong, which alone causes suspicion.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 A complication will have you drawing a blank as a strange development is taking place. A financial matter is seemingly working itself out, but don’t become content. Keep control and be aware of anything that seems too good to be true. A nice thrust is helpful in getting past your obstacles, even the ones that are hard to see.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Sprinkle some love into the recipe of sharing. Now is a good time to help out friends and family who are in need of help. There is plenty of you to go around, but don’t let resources be stretched too thin. There’s a risk of

about his sexual orientation. “I figured it would happen, and I wasn’t thrown off, but I was confused about how to move forward with it.”

Headlines in numerous LGBT outlets spotlighted his sexuality: “Handsome Gay Teacher.” “Gay Teacher From Michigan.”

“Openly Gay Teacher.” But Dombrowski was relieved to discover that his sexuality wasn’t the focus of those stories. Instead, “they focused on what I’m bringing to education. They focused on what I’m preaching to my students, and they focused on the energy that we have in our classroom.

They truly captured the essence of what I do in the classroom, and the fact of who I am really doesn’t matter. But the fact that I could help make a change in education — that’s what does matter.”

Dombrowski’s interest in teaching didn’t materialize overnight, but actually, his passion ignited in college while volunteering at an Ohio summer camp for terminally-ill children. In addition to

feeling exhausted, which could make you irritable. Work out stress with physical activity. You know you want to.

CANCER June 21–July 22 A slick talker will approach you with an unusual appeal.

While its not easy to let your guard down, this could be a nice time to explore uncharted territory. As the warm weather approaches, so does the desire to party and have a good time. Let your hair down, be wearing less clothing, and let the good times come to you.

LEO July 23–August 22 Seek and you shall find. No one is hiding from you, but people who are often close seem to have disappeared. Don’t take it personally for it is a coincidence. Extend invitations and plan some social gatherings to bring everyone out of hiding. Before long, friends and family will be buzzing with excitement over the fun you’ve created.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 Now is the time to claim a sense of control that has been lost for a while now. A dependency on others had been part of your strategy, but the truth is that you’ve always thrived better on your own. Seeing the world in terms that endure in the tried and true sense are likely to provide good results

teaching them, his purpose was to help lighten their load, and “just be able to have fun and enjoy themselves. When that happened, I was like, ‘Yeah, this is for me.’

I’m definitely in education because I know that I can make learning fun for all kids.”

And these pranks? He’s been pulling those longer than he’s been teaching, with friends, with cousins. In fact, he’s been honing his comedic skills over the last five years while doing improv at Go Comedy! in Ferndale, Michigan. Knowing that, it’s no wonder he’s hearing from people who, he says, tell him, “Why weren’t you my teacher? Why weren’t teachers like this when I was in elementary school?

“The bottom line is, I know there will be a day when [my students] realize that they had such a positive role model. At the end of the day, that’s what I wanna be for my students.” Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate. He is at chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

in your life balance.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Look to the past to plan for the future. There has been confusion over matters of the heart and some 20/20 retrospection is exactly what is needed right now. Don’t feel foolish by falling for an old trick. Hold on to the things you want but don’t become dependent on an external force. Find some closure by learning to love yourself.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 A major change in plans has made life interesting. Whether the road leads to stability or uneasiness has yet to be determined. The best thing to do is focus on what works and be creative in solutions. Someone who really cares for you is more worried than you think. Ease their mind and don’t fear asking for help.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Stop doing a behavior that many have pointed out as annoying.

Even if your intentions are pure, there is a perception of deviousness attached that should be cast off immediately. Your social circle is growing but don’t neglect a true friend who is feeling lost in the mix. There is something to be cherished in the familiar.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 It never hurts to get intimate with a lover or close friend, and it may be prudent to have a passionate time to overcome the trauma of an upsetting event. While everything seems imperfect, a sweet moment in time can have healing properties. Let go of some tension and rebel against expectations. It is time to be happy.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

Lose yourself in a sea of admiration. The world has been a welcoming place but don’t forget a looming obligation is on the horizon. A matter requires resolution, so put business before pleasure. When the time comes for fun, it will be all the more intense. Save up some money because the time might come to replace a broken bed.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Don’t pretend to know all the answers and be willing to figure them out. There is a questionable element that continually creates doubts, which is becoming a problem. Dig deeper to see the bigger picture and allow simplicity to rule. While there is certainly nothing pressing, it never hurts to find a good stride in which to ride. Q

58 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

book review REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

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Finding Gideon

BY ERIC JEROME DICKEY C.2017, DUTTON $27.00 372 PAGES

It wasn’t where you put it down. The last time you saw it, it was over there where you laid it. You remember doing that; you even gave yourself a brain-nudge so you wouldn’t forget but now it’s not where it should be, and that bugs you. Now, as in the new novel Finding Gideon by Eric Jerome Dickey, you’ll have to chase it down.

At an age when most boys are focused on their little toy cars, Jean-Claude was busy saving his mother’s life.

The French prostitute known as Thelma (or was she Margaret, or Catherine?) had crossed the wrong johns, gotten pregnant, and told their wives. She hinted that Medianoche was a father. She hinted that the Beast was a father. She was lying to one or both, and the Beast told Medianoche to kill her. He was swinging Thelma around by her neck when her “snotty-nosed” 7-year-old son picked up Medianoche’s gun … and shot the assassin in the face.

That was the first man the boy gunned down. Thelma set him on the second one, too, which changed him, and made him a killer. He was a sought-after, talented assassin when he learned that Medianoche had lived, and Gideon (his professional name) knew he had to finish that long-ago job.

Medianoche hadn’t planned on killing his best friend, but when he learned that the Beast had been lying for years about Thelma, there was no other choice. Once the Beast was gone, Medianoche could assume leadership of the Four Horsemen, the group that ruled Buenos

Aires , and that’s how it always should’ve been.

But this young assassin, Gideon, complicated things. Medianoche heard that Gideon was looking for him, to settle a dubious score. It wasn’t enough that he’d taken Medianoche’s eye, and destroyed his face.

No, Gideon was looking for Midnight, and there would be war. Which only meant that Midnight had to find Gideon first…

I have to admit, I spent the first 30 pages of this book hating it.

As he often seems to do, author Eric Jerome Dickey jumps feet-first into his novel by letting the characters jump feet-first into bed.

There is a bit of prelude this time, but it’s strangely fixated on dog waste before we get to tiresome erotica.

Usually, I’d recommend skipping that and starting the book several pages in, though with “Finding Gideon,” you really shouldn’t.

You need that beginning; it’s nasty, but it sets up a firstrate thriller and a surprise: this latest Gideon tale has character development that makes many of the killers human, almost likeable. Readers get a better understanding of who Gideon is, and what drives him. We meet his “brothers” and lovers old and new and, because this book screams toward an unsettling cliffhanger.

Certainly, you can read this novel alone but I’d recommend starting with Sleeping with Strangers. The overall tale relies on it, so enjoy that book first. Q

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 59

60 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

food & drink

Rio Grande Café steams back to life

BY JOSHUA JONES AND STEVE FINAU

Rio Grande

Café feels like home.

The familiar tunes on the jukebox, serene patio, mysterious taco lady (spoiler alert — in case you want to figure her out for yourself after a few Slurpee margaritas — “Chick-In-Taco”) and electric train ever-hovering overhead — it’s very comfortable. When we first moved to Salt Lake City, it was a gay staple on Friday nights. The bartenders loosened us all up for the nearby clubs with mys-

teriously-powerful margaritas.

However, in the last few years, it has

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kind-of been forgotten by the LGBTQ community, and a Rio Grande Café deathwatch had been ticking. Largely due to one factor — the city and county’s ongoing inability to manage the rampant drug culture around the homeless services facilities in the Rio Grande neighborhood. The restaurant languished while Iggy’s, Vivance, Dojo, and Ekamai disappeared, leaving the rest in critical condition.

When The Salt Lake Tribune announced that longtime owner, Pete Henderson was closing the restaurant in March, things didn’t look good for the venerable restaurant. Luckily, Byron Lovell and Brian O’Meara, owners of the Dodo and Porcupine restaurants swooped in to rescue the place. A month-long closing for a deep-deep clean removed the rotating art gallery (to be edited and revived); lovingly restored the neon signs; and updated the kitchen.

Expensive? Yes. Worth it? Yes. Now, let’s remember, Rio Grande Café’s cuisine was always, and continues to be, Mexican food in the most comfortable-sense of the word. It is not Red Iguana — nor are their knives pointed in that direction. There is much more cheese, sour cream, and a warm, welcoming service. Moreover, the salsa and guacamole are tremendous, and the margaritas are intoxicating. Just like they should be, right?

A recent trip found that two house

FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 61

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

margaritas over several songs of Jimmy Buffett, Sinatra, and Eric Clapton on the jukebox made us perfectly happy and still able to drive home. Halibut tacos, one lightly breaded and fried, and one grilled were straight-out-of Santa Monica with a nice crunch of cabbage.

The fajitas had a nice char to the vegetables with homemade tortillas and nicely seasoned, moist chicken.

Cheese enchiladas smothered in pork chile verde is renowned, but also off-menu (be a rock star and order it). Other favorites include the vegetable enchiladas and the pollo cilantro. Sit at the historic counter and enjoy the service of Drew, another entrée to feast your eyes upon (also off menu).

Rio Grande Cafe 270 S Rio Grande St Salt Lake City 801-364-3302

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62 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

positive thoughts

Activist’s med strike leads to AIDS organization ousters

BY SAVAS ABADSIDIS

Mazzoni

Center is an LGBT-focused organization that provides healthcare, prevention services and other programming focused on LGBT health. The organization came under fire recently because of alleged sexual misconduct charges made against their former medical director, Dr. Robert Winn.

The sexual misconduct came about via complaints from patients, most of whom are people of color. Rather than alert the authorities, Mazzoni Center CEO Nurit Shein (now former) and Board President Jimmy Ruiz (also now former), brought in an independent investigator and attempted to quiet the story. This caused great con-

sternation amongst other board members and throughout the organization.

After a flurry of board meetings and employee reports continued to roll in, Dr. Robert Winn took a leave of absence on April 13.

Following weeks of denial and attempted public relation’s spins on the allegations and subsequent investigation, Abdul-Aliy A. Muhammad, a writer, activist and patient (as well as former employee), initiated a walk out on April 11, to protest the cover up. Muhammad was joined by 30 staff members.

At a second walkout on April 20, almost 70 staff members, the Office of LGBT Affairs, and the Mayor’s Commission on LGBT Affairs released a signed statement wherein they vowed

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to “stand with the community, staff and patients of the Mazzoni Center, as we call for increased transparency and accountability throughout the investigation of serious allegations of misconduct.”

The medical providers released an independent statement as well.

At this point, misconduct and power abuse had become apparent. Shein had become a constant source of rancor within the organization as Muhammad explained her behavior as “a denial of institutional racism within Mazzoni center,” and that Shein “perpetuated a culture that targeted black and brown staff.”

Mazzoni Center was required by the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations Gayborhood nonprofits to conduct a racial bias training after reports of racial discrimination persisted. When this walkout failed to bring about any changes, Muhammad took a vow to discontinue his HIV medical treatments until Shein and Ruiz left the organization.

Four days later, they did.

We spoke to Mr. Muhammad, whose med adherence protest has put him at the heart of the story, yet whose voice is conspicuously absent from most of the subsequent media coverage (with the exception of TheBody. com and mic.com).

What provoked such an extreme measure of resistance from you? As a black queer poz person in the United States of Oppression, I have to resist, fight for my humanity and others, all while trying to survive and not die from unwavering targets on my back. In the U.S. and globally, there are penalties for blackness. As someone who is “dark-skinned,” Muslim-raised, positive and queer, I don’t know any other experience than resistance. I’ve had to fight to minimize impacts on my life since I was born.

This was not easy to do. I resist the narrative of martyr-

dom, so I wrestled with myself on this. I spoke to people close to me, to doctors and other medical providers. I know my body and my health status and thought and concluded that this is a useful form of resistance and a show of solidarity with Mazzoni staff. I want to amplify and make it clear to people the gravity of the violence that Mazzoni Center’s leadership has perpetuated against the community and staff. Mazzoni Center’s executive leadership is an egregious example of capitalist patriarchy at its most pernicious. Mazzoni Center does not see its constituent patients as fully human. Mazzoni is operating like a corporation and therefore deliverables, funders and legacy are placed as valuable, while low-paid staff workers and patients deal with with sexual assault, cycles of poverty and increased surveillance because of poz, trans and disabled identities.

I do this because the Mazzoni’s board of directors have fully backed and colluded with this culture of silence and intimidation. I do this because a dear friend of mine had been harmed by Dr. Winn. I do this because it is liberatory.

Have there been similar actions of resistance in other social justice movements? When I think of similarities between my resistance and that of other poz revolutionaries, I can’t help but be reminded of Zackie Achmat (the South African AIDS activist) who started the world’s first drug strike. I stand on his shoulders.

Did you experience ill health effects of skipping your antiretroviral medications? So, a little bit about my particular HIV: I’m healthy and undetectable.

I don’t have any resistance, medicinally speaking. I was adherent to meds previous to stoppage. I fully suspended meds when I began the strike.

I’m OK. How did the community respond?

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

The reactions have varied from reluctant support to outright anger about the decision I made. People found words of support, but there was definitely an atmosphere of stigmatizing me for being irresponsible for not taking my meds. This was the only way I saw to make them listen. I think of it as akin to Mandela going on a hunger strike in prison. It came across to me as an act of control, manipulation and an outright negation of my own agency.

In the world where there is HIV-related stigma, most people don’t know how to support the poz community. They either shame you into taking meds or call you predatory, especially if you’re black, for not controlling your viral-load. I was told that I could look like a patient from the film _Philadelphia_ if I didn’t take my meds. The framework of these arguments and criticism reminds me of what is at the heart of white supremacy and its conduit capitalism: within these constructs people really believe they own you. They tell you that your life belongs to others and you must think of them first.

Denying autonomy is probably the worst form of violence ever! I know that family, friends and lovers are scared and that’s OK. I ask them to turn their attention on the leadership of these organizations and elected officials to stop Nurit Shein and other institutions from continuing to harm those made vulnerable by oppression.

What is the overall outcome you hope for?

What’s desired is a complete overhaul of Mazzoni’s leadership as a signal to the rest of the city that bad deals, nepotism and anti-blackness will no longer go unchecked as long as the Black and Brown Workers Collective is present. We won’t sit anymore, because when we rise, so does the community.

Abdul-Aliy A Muhammad is a Philly-born liberationist organizer with the Black and Brown Workers Collective. They contribute to thebody.com and otherwise provide spaces with anti-oppression trainings with the BlaQollective. Recently they launched a podcast For Colored Boyz, which can be found on SoundCloud.

Muhammed previously worked at Mazzoni Center as an HIV prevention counselor and as the coordinator of The Real Impact Project. Muhammad’s mission as a writer and activist is to disrupt the prevailing narratives that create an artificial construction of divide between the poz and non-poz community. Q Savas Abadsidis is the managing editor of Plus magazine.

Additional research by Rahel Neirene. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 63

64 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER: HINT: FORMER VPOTUS

JIBED ONE

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word search FIND THE WORDS IN THE PUZZLE BELOW ABOUT THIS MONTH’S THEME. WORDS CAN BE SIDE-TO-SIDE, TOP TO BOTTOM, LEFT TO RIGHT, RIGHT TO LEFT, BOTTOM TO TOP. THEME:

UTAH PRIDE

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B QYDF MQPM MQF AVCCFWM PRHBWBKMCPMBYW SBLFK VD MY MQF DCYHBKFK BM QPK HPRF MY PRLPWAF QVHPW CBNQMK IYC FLFCZYWF XZ CPBKBWN MQBK BKKVF RBCFAMSZ JBMQ CVKKBP’K SFPRFCK.

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IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: S=V

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SINGER TRANSGENDER UTAH PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 72

I

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 65

66 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | ADVICE

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

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is one of the best parts of life. It means it is time to plan your lives together! Planning is fun and will give you a path towards your goals and common understandings.

After marriage equality, we received thousands of rights. For example, the wife of a biological mother can now have her name placed on the child’s birth certificate. However, did you know that birth certificates are Utah agency documents and are not necessarily afforded the full faith and credit guaranteed by our federal constitution?

This issue could become a concern for parents going to other states or foreign countries. In addition, for couples that plan to use surrogacy, the matters can become more complicated. Yes, we have marriage equality, but our cases can still become complicated.

As a queer divorce and custody attorney, there is planning that I recommend to avoid pit falls. I would recommend talking to an accountant about what it means to file jointly. It can mean an extra tax burden.

You may also want to talk to an estate planning attorney about wills, trusts, powers of attorney, health care directives, and final arrangement documents.

These documents allow you and your partner to plan for when times get tough.

After all, for better or worse is the deal. If you and your partner have disproportionate assets, or if one of you owns a business, or one has a significant inheritance, you will certainly want to discuss the benefits of a prenuptial agreement with an estate planning attorney.

When the babies come, do not forget second parent adoption. Many people assume this is no longer needed. However, I am recommending them to my clients. I want to be sure their relationship to the children is afforded the full faith and credit that court decrees receive. If you would like help, there are many queer-friendly attorneys that can assist.

However, an attorney is not absolutely required for this procedure. You can find the documents and instructions at bit.ly/UtahStepchild Our community is blessed with excellent professionals who work in accounting, estate planning, financial planning, and, when needed, litigation.

Many have practiced in the queer community for decades. I always recommend seeking these professionals’ assistance to plan for your future rather than paying me triple to clean up the pieces if they, god forbid, fall apart. Q Danielle Hawkes is a partner of The Salt Lake Lawyers, a litigation firm that works in criminal, divorce, and civil litigation in Utah

ADVICE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 67

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

mr. manners

Grow Up

BY ROCK MAGEN

I was

recently visiting NYC and took the opportunity to visit old friends and catch up on where they are in life. As most good conversations tend to do, our topic of discussion moved from ourselves to those acquaintances who we hardly ever see anymore. What was interesting to me was that our conversation did not center on how we had grown apart from these people, but rather, that these people never “grew up.”

The idea of “living for the weekend” is nothing new.

What many refer to as “youth culture,” is a history of people being unable to reconcile their day-to-day lives with their social lives. Ultimately, they find solace in the party antics of a Saturday night rather than careers, kids or whatever. We have all been guilty of doing stupid stuff. When we were younger, giving in to the idiot urges that arrive on a Friday night was recognized as a phase that young people went through. This was an existential pubescence that would be rinsed out of our systems.

However, hangovers are starting to last days rather than hours, and ultimately, it feels like people today are forgetting to do the moving on part.

But what causes this? Is the current generation continually drug-taking, shame-walking, and shit-talking before finally becoming their parents? I did some research, and it seems that “Boundless Indulgence” is a decades-old problem. Some researchers have gone as far as

to say that it is an inescapable part of the late-capitalist condition; a symptom of the endless, warless, nothingness of modern life. How dreary is that?

Someone explained the current generation to me as “the generation with no real incentive to grow up. No kids to feel guilty about, just jobs that let them scrape the money they need to feed, house and wash themselves.” So how does someone decide to move on?

The choice that many make is to simply go to the next level.

Eventually we must wake up and realize that there is more than what we currently have. We realize that we don’t like the job that is simply paying out bills, and that we know we can achieve more.

We realize that our parents were right when they told us nothing good ever happens after midnight. In time, we learn that mornings are wonderful, life without booze can be fun, and that being authentic is what matters. We change perspective from being solely focused on ourselves and start thinking more about our family and friends. We grow up.

So what do you need to do to grow up? Is there something that you are holding on to hoping it will make you happy?

If so, it’s time to step away.

Growing up is scary. It’s something new that you may not be familiar with. That is ok. View moving forward as a chance to see what else life has to offer.

There is more out there than the teenage life. Come on.

Grow up and live a little. Q

Drag Politicians

42 Standout facial feature ACROSS 43 Outing in Africa 1 What hibernating 44 Lickety-split bears do 48 Tanning places 6 Name on a column 49 She recently told The 10 Michelangelo’s David, Hollywood Reporter once that she’d like to play 14 It goes on a queen’s Donald Trump 52 Gay video directory head name 15 Cross-dresser in a 53 La Douce part for Kinks song Shirley 16 Series of concerts for 54 Cardio med Etheridge 58 A little behind 17 In motion 59 Beats, barely 18 Benefit 19 Paintings and such, to 60 Sexual favors obtained while surfing? da Vinci 61 Wilbur’s stallion 20 She played Jeff 62 Vagina, in slang Sessions on SNL 63 Where priests come 23 A bitch might try to together catch it in her teeth DOWN 26 Most queer 1 RR terminal 27 Dancer Reagan’s 2 Flower for Foucault father 3 Enjoy orally 28 Top choice, slangily 4 Contemporary of 30 Material for nice Claude Debussy stones 5 Metropolitan 31 Garr of Tootsie Community Church 32 Gay & Lesbian Victoreadings ry Fund, and others 6 Seascape author 36 She played Sean 7 Big bang sound Spicer on SNL 8 Interest group 39 Gardner of mystery 9 Al, who sang “Eat It” 40 Hulce and others 10 Bear 41 One that bends over 11 SNL producer Michaels in an arbor?

12 Places for quickies, perhaps 13 George of The Gay Sisters 21 Connoisseur Allen 22 Suffix with ox 23 Body build 24 Paul Monette’s partner Horwitz 25 As a whole 28 Amelie Mauresmo’s woman 29 Rainbow shapes 31 Retreat for D.H. Lawrence 32 Using the Divine Miss M’s name in vain?

33 Fighting hard 34 1920 Colette novel 35 Lebanon neighbor 37 Bending over 38 Mother-of-pearl sources 42 Math degree 43 Signal that goes either way 44 Sacred song 45 Traffic cop’s tool 46 Use a gifted tongue 47 A Streetcar ___ Desire 48 Cut 50 Sills’ solo 51 Dave Pallone and others 55 Provincetown project 56 Carnaval town 57 Bette Davis’ ___ Acquaintance

68 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

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MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 69

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70 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Q doku

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Level: EASY

6 8 4

8 9

9

2

1 5 8 7 4 7 2 6 8 4 3

3

8

5

7 6 5 2

1 9 2 8 4 7 9 2 3 6 4 9 9 6 8 5 6 2 7 1 3 8 3 7 2 9 5 2 9 7 6 3 8 5 7 4 3 6 4 5 7 6 4 4 1 8 6 5 3 7 7 5 6 4 2 9 8 8 6 9 7 5 8 6 9 9 3 1 8 2 1 4 2 6

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$10 cat adoptions JUNE 1-30

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June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

Pet of the Month

Off-Leash Dog Parks

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 71

magazine qsaltlake.com

MEMORY GROVE OFF LEASH ➋ AREA AT FREEDOM TRAIL COTTONWOOD PARK ➏ ➑ 1580 W 300 N

PIONEER PARK ➏

375 N CANYON RD

➎ LINDSEY GARDENS DOG PARK 9TH AVE AND M STREET

380 S 300 W

JORDAN DOG PARK ➏ 1060 S 900 W

➌ HERMAN FRANKS PARK 750 E 1300 S

PARLEY’S NATURE PRESERVE ➊ (TANNER PARK) 2740 S 2700 E

MILLRACE OFF-LEASH DOG PARK ➐ 1200 W 5400 S

WEST JORDAN OFF-LEASH ➍ DOG PARK

TYPICAL DOG PARK RULES • Current license and rabies tag • Human companions clean up waste • Damage to landscape prohibited • Aggressive dogs prohibited • No chasing or harassing wildlife • Swimming in authorized areas only • Dogs under 4 months prohibited • Dogs off leash in posted areas only

5982 W NEW BINGHAM HWY

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Morris 7 years old Domestic short hair — red and white Neutered male I’m a sweet, laid back guy looking for a nice family to call my own. I would like to live in a calm home where I can be the only furry companion. I would need to live in an adult-only home, since the little ones seem to be too much for me. I will be your BEST friend. I love to snuggle and be around you, but sometimes I do need my space and I will let you know.

I am FIV+, but don’t let that deter you!

FIV cats can live a completely normal and happy life!

For more information, go to Best Friends Animal Society — Utah, 2005 S 1100 East, or call 801-574-2454 or go to bestfriendsutah.org

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72 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/ 1to5ClubUtah Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education First & Third Mondays  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM)  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah  outreachutah.org Ogden, 3350 Harrison, 2nd, 4th Weds, 4-6pm Logan, 596 E 900 N — Fri, 4:30-7:30pm qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Rainbow Classic Car Don R. Austin 801-485-9225

7 1 5 4 2 9 3 8 6

2 3 8 7 1 6 9 4 5

7 3 2 9 1 6 8 5 4

4 8 5 2 3 7 6 9 1

9 6 1 4 8 5 3 7 2

3 9 4 7 8 5 2 1 6 3 5 8 7 4 9 8 6 3 5 1 2

7 5 2 6 3 1 8 4 9 7 6 2 1 3 5 4 7 2 8 6 9

1 8 6 2 9 4 3 5 7 1 4 9 2 6 8 1 5 9 4 7 3

4 2 1 5 9 8 6 3 7

8 7 5 9 2 6 4 3 1

8 9 3 6 1 7 2 5 4

4 6 3 1 7 8 5 9 2

5 7 6 3 2 4 1 9 8

9 2 1 5 4 3 6 7 8

6 8 7 9 4 5 3 2 1

5 4 9 8 1 2 7 6 3

3 1 2 7 8 6 9 4 5 6 1 8 3 5 7 9 2 4

9 5 4 2 3 1 7 8 6 2 3 7 4 6 9 1 8 5

7 p.m. and people are encouraged to bring pot luck items.

6 8 4 1 9 7 5 2 3 8 7 4 9 1 6 2 4 5 3 7 8

you take the circle through Sugar House Park. Bingo starts at

5 2 7 6 8 3 1 9 4 6 2 3 5 8 7 3 1 6 4 9 2

Utah summer air. They meet at the first pavilion on the left as

3 9 1 2 5 4 6 7 8 5 9 1 4 2 3 7 9 8 5 1 6

the Matrons of Mayhem move bingo out into the wonderful

1 3 5 9 8 2 7 6 4

Drag Bingo in the Park In the summer months,

sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  fb.me/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org Salt Lake Community College Equality Involvement Club 8 facebook.com/slcc. equality University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 Univ. of Utah Queer Student Union utahqsu@gmail.com USGA at BYU  byuusga.wordpress.com  fb.co/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  discord.me/ spectrumatuvu  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State Univ Faculty/Staff GayStraight Alliance  organizations.weber. edu/fsgsa  fsgsa@weber.edu Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 3885 W Campus Dr, Student Services Ctr, Suite 154 Dept. 2125 801-626-7271

CRYPTOGRAM: I HOPE THAT THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION LIVES UP TO THE PROMISES IT HAS MADE TO ADVANCE HUMAN RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE

BY RAISING THIS ISSUE DIRECTLY WITH RUSSIA’S LEADERS.

9 4 6 5 3 8 2 1 7

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

ANAGRAM: JOE BIDEN

8 7 3 9 6 1 4 5 2

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E

SPORTS

Lambda Hiking Club  gayhike.org Pride Community Softball League  prideleague.com  pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League  qkickball.com Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall.

4 5 9 3 7 2 8 6 1

POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org

1 6 2 8 4 5 7 3 9

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6–7:30pm Utah Pride Center. 255 East and 400 South in Salt Lake City.

2 6 9 4 3 7 8 5 1

LEGAL

Sage Utah  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org Weekly dances every other Thurs 7p at UPC 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/ utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  thecenter@ utahpridecenter.org 255 E 400 S 801-539-8800

8 7 4 5 6 1 9 2 3

HEALTH & HIV

Northern Utah HIV/ AIDS Project Walk-Ins Tues Noon–5pm 536 24th St, Ste 2B, Ogden 801-393-4153 Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Fridays, 6pm at Utah Pride Ctr, 255 E 400 S Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at UPC

3 9 2 6 5 4 1 8 7

BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600

HOMELESS SVCS

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Young Men’s Transition Home 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545

6 5 8 1 7 3 2 4 9

ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org Gay and Lesbianspecific meetings: Sundays 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mondays 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tuesday 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wednesday 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Friday 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon crystalmeth.org Thursday 1:30p Unity In Sobriety, UPC, 255 E 400 S

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977

7 4 1 8 2 9 6 3 5

Qmmunity Groups

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

QMMUNITY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 73

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

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74 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLLYWOOD

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

deep inside hollywood

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Paul Verhoeven and a lesbian nun walk into a bar…

If you saw Isabelle Huppert’s Academy Award-nominated performance in last year’s Elle, then you know that director Paul Verhoeven is no stranger

to tough material featuring extremely complicated women in often harrowing circumstances.

His next film will be no different.

Blessed Virgin, starring French actress Virginie Efira (who had a supporting role in Elle) is about the troubled life of Sister Benedetta Carlini, a 17th-century nun who was celebrated as a visionary, but was later imprisoned for 35 years on charges of fake miracles and lesbianism. The movie is based on the book Immodest Acts: The Life of a Lesbian Nun in Renaissance Italy, by historian Judith C. Brown, and begins

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shooting this summer. The production announcement features a breast-baring model wearing a nun’s habit, which is so Verhoeven we thought it might be a parody ad. But it’s not. So we’d like to take this opportunity to thank the man who gave us Showgirls for his ongoing contributions to cinema, and for staying on-brand.

We’ll be waiting excitedly for this one.

one’s going to look more like Broadway’s Julie Taymor incarnation or like the latest Beauty and The Beast where Ewan McGregor was simply the voice of a candlestick, but we’re still on board for this casting news.

Revisiting the bad old days of 1985

Seth Rogen and Billy Eichner are The Lion King’s new Timon and Pumbaa In case you weren’t already aware that Disney is taking all its old animated features and remaking them as live-action films (OK, not Song of The South, for obvious reasons), then you are probably living in some kind of cave where your only friends are bats. But for the rest of you, here comes Jon Favreau’s live-action version of The Lion King. And for fans of Billy on The Street (that should be all of you, please), the good news is that Billy Eichner will be taking on a character. He and Seth Rogen will team up as Timon and Pumbaa (no second chances on guessing which actor is the meerkat and which one is the warthog) and, presumably, sing their own version of “Hakuna Matata.” Unless they can’t sing, and then they’ll probably just sing anyway.

Also, we don’t know if this

Cory Michael Smith (Gotham), Michael Chiklis and Virginia Madsen are set to star in 1985, the latest indie from director Yen Tan, whose film Pit Stop was successful on the LGBT film festival circuit. Expanded from his short film of the same name, a project that won the special jury prize at 2016’s SXSW, it will also star Noah Schnapp (Stranger Things) and Jamie Chung (Big Hero Six), and begins shooting this summer in Texas. The film focuses on a young man living with AIDS in 1985 (Smith).

He returns home to his estranged family to explain it all, but his visit is complicated by a reconnection with his young brother and ex-girlfriend. With popular culture’s narrative always eager to view the ’80s through a cheerful lens, one where everybody was dancing to Wang Chung and drinking wine coolers, it’s important that stories like this get told. So cheers to younger filmmakers tackling this subject matter and preserving the brutal history of AIDS during the horrifying Reagan years, whether through documen-

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taries like How To Survive a Plague or with narrative work such as this. Never forget.

Why can’t there just be two Madonna movies?

Madonna is reportedly furious about the Madonna movie (for reference: see all news stories about Blonde Ambition, just set up at Universal, all about her young, hungry, early days). That’s because Madonna will not be in control of the Madonna movie. Here’s why: other people wrote a lot of her early hits. If they consent to have them used in an unauthorized biopic, there’s nothing to be done about it. But we have a

solution. Let’s have dueling Madonna movies. It happens all the time. There were two Truman Capote films. The next Jungle Book adaptation is due in theaters sooner or later. There’s plenty of room for two Madonna movies, especially if she directs and produces it. Total control. She can get experimental and cast six different actors, like when Todd Haynes made the Bob Dylan film. She can use most of her own song catalog. She can rip on the other movie in her own movie. This makes perfect sense to us. Don’t get mad, Madge; get even. Q Romeo San Vicente is burning up for your love.

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76 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

the frivolist

If that means going through boo’s email and phone, get to it — because all bets are off when your health and future are put at risk. If they’re not respecting your well-being, you shouldn’t feel guilty about not respecting their privacy.

3. Stay Focused and Calm

6 steps to confronting a cheating partner

BY MIKEY ROX

About 21

percent of American men and 19 percent of American women admit to cheating on their partners, according to polling company YouGov. Not a massive number, but still big enough to raise our brows. So what can we do when we suspect our partner is stepping out with a sidepiece? Before you take that Louisville slugger to both headlights, consider these effective ways to confront the cheater in your life.

Yourself For 1. Prepare Immediate Denial

If you’ve ever been cheated on and confronted your partner about it, you already know what the immediate response is: “I’m not cheating on you.” It’s human nature to lie in the face of confrontation,

especially if we know we’re wrong and that whatever we did could have serious consequences. So prepare for it. If you know for a fact that your partner hasn’t been faithful, present solid facts. Your partner will change their tune quickly when they know they’ve undeniably been caught in the act — and that’ll give you the upper hand straight out the gate.

When you’ve presented your case on your partner’s philandering ways, expect an eruption of emotion. You both may be simultaneously sad and angry — among a host of other emotions — but this problem will not be solved with a screaming match. That’ll be hard to avoid, depending on your personalities, but try to stay in control. If you fly off the handle, you run the risk of hurting yourself even more; your partner may use your emotions against you by calling you unstable or saying hurtful things like, “This is the reason I cheated on you in the first place.” Remember, their feelings will be hurt too — they may even be remorseful — but nobody likes to be cornered; they’ll attack back if you push too hard.

the Wounded 2. State Your Case With Evidence 4. Resist Puppy Routine

There’s an abundance of life advice floating around out there that warns you against snooping on your partner. Fuck.

That. A cheating partner is absolutely your business, and you owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of it so you don’t end up in an emotionally and mentally damaging relationship, or worse, with an STD. Considering the slim-to-none likelihood that your partner will readily admit to cheating, gather your evidence.

When your partner realizes the mistake they made, there will be an avalanche of I’m sorrys and I love yous. Don’t let that distract you. Brushing this situation under the rug won’t solve anything either. Ask why, where, when, and with whom — if these questions and answers are important to you. This may help you move on — one way or the other.

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June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

5.

Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Guilted Into Forgiveness

Whether your partner’s cheating was a one-time mistake or a chronic problem, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ready to end the relationship. Your relationship offers stability for both of you, and when faced with the reality that it might be over — and he or she could be looking for a new place to live by the end of the day — a guilt trip might ensue. Don’t let that cloud your judgment. You love this person (or did, at least), and they’ll play that emotion for all it’s worth to protect themselves. Stay strong and clear-headed to avoid being steamrolled into submission. Q

the Decision 6. Make That’s Best For You

When the dust has settled, you have a decision to make — do you want to

GAY WRITES

A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

work this out or move on? The relationship doesn’t have to end if your partner cheated, but you also shouldn’t stay in a relationship where you’ve become a doormat. Personally, I have a zero-tolerance policy now — because I’ve stayed in relationships with serious infidelity issues and I can’t get over them no matter how hard I try — but that’s my choice, not yours. Only you know what’s best for you. If that means giving your partner

another chance, reconcile that within yourself. If you need to kick the bum to the curb, however, hold your head high and never look back. Your heart will heal, you’ll love again, and you’ll wake up every morning knowing that you don’t have to worry about whose bed your partner may be in today. That’s liberating, to say the least. Q Mikey Rox is an LGBT lifestyle expert on Twitter @ mikeyrox.

78 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com | issue 268 | June 2017

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of boobs

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to a show stopping physique is fraught with danger and excitement.

Last month I had the great fortune to sing with The Salt Lake Men’s Choir at Third Friday Bingo. Since I only get the chance to sing with the choir once or twice a year, I’m always shocked at how much of an obstacle my “Breasticles” become when trying to hold and read a music folder. I couldn’t see the music, as my sizable “Bazoombas” were in the way. If I held my music folder above my “Twin Peaks” then I could not see the director. So, about halfway through the second verse I decided that if I just lay my music folder directly on top of my “Play Stations,” they became an excellent music stand.

I have learned to have the greatest sympathy for heroically proportioned ladies such as Dolly Parton and Mae West.

A substantial rack of “Sweater Puppies” can be a rather painful obstacle to carefree living. I actually measured my bust with a tape measure for this column.

With my “Tah-Tahs” at full erection, complimented with average attachable “Cupcakes” they measure 75 double-E. In comparison, Mae West had 32-C “Bubbles” and Dolly Parton has 40 double-D “Jiggles. “ I didn’t realize that I was so much larger than them, however, I’ve got the

lower back pain to prove it.

Those of you who have ever ridden the Big Gay Fun Bus to Wendover with me, and have seen me try and eat at the buffet can attest that my “Power Puffs” make eating almost impossible, especially when the “Muskmelons” are topped off with sizable exchangeable “Tree Toppers.”

(God bless Eli Whitney for inventing interchangeable parts.)

I have discovered through a lifetime of trial and error, and many a food-stained gown, that it is necessary to drape a napkin over the top of each “Chest Anchor” before even attempting the first bite of food. Sometimes, it is even necessary to remove the interchangeable “Show Stoppers” from the tips and place them aside on the table. At that juncture, if I use the largest size of plate possible, and place the plate straddling between both “Sweater Muffins,” it creates an excellent serving tray. The food is located very close to it’s intended destination, and I can shovel it in efficiently without much spillage. Sometimes, like when at the Pride Day celebration and there is fair type food to be had on flimsy paper plates that I can’t balance on the “Milk Duds,” I almost need to be hand fed by some compassionate person. Thereby, just like Scarlet O’Hara, I become dependent on the kindness of strangers.

Even the act of taking a drink of

beverage is challenging, in that I need a very long straw that can reach between the “Lady Lumps” to be able to suck on.

Many of you who have attended Third Friday Bingo will have been witness to my many wardrobe malfunctions. Often, when I’m using my glitter “P” “Knobs” on the ends, they get knocked off their “Tater Tots” and land on the floor. Thus I pee on the floor of the church quite regularly.

Additionally, there is the whole issue of being able to visit the restroom. First of all, it is often difficult to fit through doorways. And It is outright unmanageable to fit into a port-a-potty at the Pride Day celebration. Once facing the urinal, it is impossible to see what I’m doing down in the nether region, so I am relegated to doing it all by braille, which sounds simple enough until you bring into consideration the layers and layers of crinoline and the tensile strength of the girdle that must be securely moved to safety and held in place before the flow can begin. Not to mention the fact that because the “Thunder Guns” stick out so far that a sizable distance from the goal is made necessary, thus making the act of elimination that much more of a challenge.

Increased pressure is needed to be able to reach the urinal, thereby, sometimes creating the strain to provide said extra pressure can cause dizziness or actual fainting. And number 2 is just out of the question all together.

So to avoid this whole restroom

issue, I often don’t drink all day, but this has the added danger of becoming subject to dehydration and heat stroke.

I was cleaning out my closet the other day and I came to the shelves where I store my “Show Stoppers.” I counted them up and found that I am in possession of 16 pairs of “Tater Tots” in various colors, with about 75 pairs of various themed and colored interchangeable nipples.

Because there is such a large monetary investment there, in order to justify their existence, I have come up with several alternative useful things to do with multiple “Pom-Poms” that are udderly creative. Such as: during December, I am able to create a miniature Christmas Tree Forest display, complete with twinkling lights and moving disco tree toppers. I have found that my lighted “Hypno Globes” make brilliant search lights when chasing trespassing teenagers through the darkened halls of the First Baptist Church building. Other uses I have determined include car jacks, ear trumpets, funnels for pouring glitter, and jump starting cars with dead batteries.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Should I write a book of 101 helpful household uses for “Breasticles”?

2. Do I need to start buying my bras at AAA Tent and Awning?

3. Since I need and extended straw to be able to suck a beverage, does that mean that I require an elongated “Schwanshtooker” to be able to &@%*?

4. When I “P” on the floor, can I just pick them back up or do I need to mop?

These and other eternal questions shall be answered in future chapters of the Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com

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