QSaltLake Magazine - August 2017 Issue

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AUGUST 2017 ISSUE 270

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

R E D2 0 1 7B OUU TTD OTO RE C O GAN C E R TR SDE REI ENS WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16

SUNDAY, AUGUST 20

MONDAY, AUGUST 21

CHICK COREA ELEKTRIC BAND BÉLA FLECK & THE FLECKTONES

HERBIE HANCOCK

LAKE STREET DIVE

W W W . R E D B U T T E G A R D E N . O R G

2017 / 2018 oct Aladdin

19–22 Family Series

nov Carmina 3–11 Burana

with Serenade

dec The 2–30 Nutcracker

New Sets and Costumes!

feb Cinderella 9–25

apr The Shakespeare 13–21 Suite with Return to a Strange Land and Summerspace

may National 18–26 Choreographic Festival

season tickets packages start at $57 801·869·6920 | balletwest.org return to a strange land. artists of ballet west | photo by beau pearson

Hosted By

TRINITY

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ALL AGES WELCOME.

@MPPRESENT WWW.DRAGFANS.COM

SHOW SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE |

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

wyopride.org 25th Anniversary of

Wyoming’s Premier Pride Event 5-Day Campout at Medicine Bow National Forest

Aug 16–20

Steve Grand featuring

Concert Sat., Aug 19, 8pm

rendezvouswyoming.org/tickets 18+ Age Event: Due to mature content of this event - you must be 18+ to attend

Volunteers earn a reduced registration fee Student Full Scholarship:

Please fill out an application with proof of student ID for a FREE WEEKEND ONLY PASS Max. two people per app.

Must be 18+ to apply.

SPONSORED BY

HOSTED BY

STAFF | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

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publisher/editor Michael Aaron

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan, 801-997-9763 sales@qsaltlake.com national advertising representative: Rivendell Media, 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com contributors Joshua Adamson, Connie Anast-Inman, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Paul Campbell, Tyson Daley, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Elaine Stehel, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski

Chris

Wharton Salt Lake City Council District 3

distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

James Enoch, Alana Luckart publisher

Salt Lick Publishing LLC 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt.)

Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

CONTACT EMAILS: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com ARTS: arts@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

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QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. Copyright © 2017, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 8–12,000 copies are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the state. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801-997-9763. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Printed in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when done.

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

in this issue 28

Our Annual Pet Issue

AUG 10

AUG 3

Once a year we give an opportunity for our readers to show off their 4-legged family.

Kamasi Washington + S P EC I A L G U E S T A N T I B A L A S

SO LANG E

14 Ogden Pride Ogden’s third annual Pride happens Saturday, August 5 and we have the entertainment lineup for you.

AUG 17

+ S P EC I A L G U E S T K AY T R A N A DA

CAT POWER

AUG 24

+ S P EC I A L G U E S T P H O E B E B R I D G E R S

ANDREW BIRD

AUG 31

+ S P EC I A L G U E S T T H E H A N D S O M E FA M I LY

tHE ROOTS + S P EC I A L G U E S T C H A R L E S B R A D L E Y & H I S E X T R AO R D I N A I R E S

15 Imagine Dragons coming to Provo Trevor Project honoree Dan Reynolds announced a, LGBT-friendly “Love Loud” concert in Provo.

NEWS ���������������������������������������������������������10 National and world news of the month Murder suicides Judge refuses trans boy’s request Encircle booted from Freedom parade VIEWS ���������������������������������������������������������18 Creep Karen Handel Pet Shift Domestic violence no laughing matter FEATURE �������������������������������������������������28 Annual Pet Issue FOOD & DRINK ���������������������������������36 Pet-friendly patios

P R E S E N T E D BY

TH U R S DAYS AT P I O N E E R PA R K D O O R S 5 P M /// M U S I C 6 P M TIX AVAI L A B LE AT 24TIX .CO M

LIFESTYLE �����������������������������������������������52 6 gayest things you need Deep Inside Hollywood Pet page complete with off-leash park map

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

news The top national and world news you should know from last month SCOTUS extends equality to birth certs The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may not treat married same-sex couples differently from others in issuing birth certificates. An Arkansas law required an opposite-sex husband, unlike same-sex spouses, be automatically listed as the father even if he is not the genetic parent.

The case was brought by two married lesbian couples with children conceived with anonymous donors. By law, the biological mothers were listed on the birth certificates but not the spouse. The SCOTUS ruling changed that provision.

Uncivil disobedience in Alabama Seven Alabama counties have not issued any marriage licenses since the decision legalizing same-sex marriage in June 2015. Prior to that ruling, from 2012 through 2014, the seven counties averaged 1,855 marriages per year.

No LGBT questions on 2020 Census It been had hoped that questions about LGBTQ citizens would, for the first time, be included on the 2020 Census questionnaire. But no, the U.S. Department of Commerce Census Bureau said there was not a “legislative or adminis-

trative mandate” to ask the questions which guide federal agencies on creating budgets.

“The Census Bureau is really missing an opportunity to serve the federal agencies and the American people,” said Meghan Maury, director of the Criminal and Economic Justice Project at the National LGBTQ Task Force.

The Bureau can add questions about LGBT citizens to its American Community Survey, a yearly survey that supplements decennial census data.

Majority disapproves religious-based discrimination In roughly 40,000 interviews, PRRI reports more than six in 10 Americans oppose allowing businesses to refuse to provide goods and services to LBGT on religious grounds.

White evangelical Protestants are the group most in favor of religiously motivated discrimination, though support has dropped from 56 percent to 50.

Mormons made a dramatic shift in opinion, the percent favoring religious discrimination dropped from 56 in 2015 to 42, with 52 percent opposed to discrimination.

Pride Parades A notable first-time entry in the NYC Pride Parade was the National Basketball Association, marking the first Major League sport to participate in Pride activities. Rick Welts, president of the Golden State Warriors, marched with his partner, Todd Gage, wearing a rainbow T-shirt that read, “Proud Champions.” Bill Kennedy, one of the NBA’s most respected referees who came out 18 months ago, also joined the parade.

A Russian LGBT activist, Helena Kostyuchenko, was glad she could wear a dress

and heels in the NYC parade.

She contrasted how she dressed for Moscow Pride, no dress or heels because, “Your day will consist of 30 seconds of holding a banner, followed by being beaten and dragged off to the police station, possibly to be beaten again.” She was joined in by 250 people, as many people as took part in Kiev Pride three weeks earlier and at least 10 times the number in Moscow Pride last month.

Meanwhile in Chicago a group of Jewish LGBT marchers were banned because their banners featured the Israeli Flag. Parade organizers said the flag represented “aggressive Zionism,” which the parade’s mission statement eschews, and felt the flag would be offensive to LGBT Palestinians, who hail from a place where they could be stoned, burned or thrown off buildings.

Mattis delays Transgender recruits U.S. Defense Secretary, Jim Mattis, who is a confirmed bachelor, approved a delay in allowing transgender recruits to join the U.S. Armed Forces until Jan. 1, 2018. The ban on openly transgender people serving in the U.S. military ended in 2016. It was expected to start allowing transgender people to enlist this year, provided they had been “stable” in their preferred gender for 18 months.

A Rand Corporation estimated there may be as many as 7,000 transgender people in active duty forces and 4,000 reserves. Their status is not affected by the recruitment pause.

Garfield, not the cat, plays gay The controversy about an actor’s authenticity playing a sex, race, nationality or phys-

ical ability different than their off stage life has been taken to a new level by erstwhile Spider-man, Andrew Garfield.

He’s been cast as Prior Walter, a pivotal gay male character in a London production of Angels In America. He said he prepared for the role by watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Not-gay-Garfield responded to criticism about him portraying a gay man by revealing he considers himself a “gay man right now, just without the physical act.”

HRC launches $26 million effort for 2018 elections The Human Rights Campaign is launching a $26 million political organizing effort ahead of 2018 midterm elections. The group is focusing its resources on several key states with competitive Senate races: Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, Arizona and Nevada.

HRC president Chad Griffin said the effort will include hiring at least 20 additional political staffers. He said the group will focus on fighting legislation curbing gay rights and backing “pro-equality candidates and initiatives.”

Nyet! to Nureyev Ballet Russia‘s Bolshoi Theater canceled a much-anticipated ballet about dancer Rudolf Nureyev three days before the opening night. Nureyev defected from the Soviet Union to the West in 1961.

Bolshoi officials denied reports that the show had been scrapped because of its portrayal of Nureyev’s gay relationships, but that the ballet wasn’t ready and it will instead premiere next year.

Suresky.

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

Two women died in apparent domesticviolence-related murder-suicide in Taylorsville Two Taylorsville, Utah, women are dead in what police are calling a murder-suicide. The women were in a nearly 6-year relationship and were in the process of breaking up. Police say they have been to the address of the incident several times responding to domestic violence calls.

Unified Police responded to reports of a shooting Thursday morning at 6:30 in the area of Hard Rock Drive, Taylorsville, near 41st South and 27th West. Upon arrival, they found two women dead of gunshot wounds. Police believe 49-yearold Fransiska “Siska” Dastrup (known as Siska C. O’Keefe on her now-deleted Facebook profile) shot her 47-year-old ex-girlfriend, Richelle “Shelly” Horsley, who was found in a car, and then herself about 100 yards away.

Friends held a candlelight vigil near Horsley’s house on Sunday, June 25 from “Every person who has ever had a chance to know or meet Shelly has been profoundly impacted by her radiant light. Together,

we will share in her light with candles raised in her honor,” organizers wrote.

Friends took to Facebook to express their grief.

“I want to honor a beautiful and strong woman, one who fought and beat the demon of brain cancer, emerging stronger and more determined to live with love, acceptance, and integrity,” wrote Deb Rosenberg. “Her life was taken this morning by a person to whom she had shared her heart. That person had demons too, and Shelly saw and loved her goodness, until it became a scary and dangerous situation.

The result was loss of two lives. I am so sad for the loss in our community of friends, and my heart is hurting. I wish for us all to remember her infectious laugh, love of life, and let’s make our next toast to Shelly, and to healing the hurt and blame.”

Dastrup’s daughter eulogized both on her Facebook wall. (Unedited:) “Two women who ment so much to me and have been the best moms i could ask

Utah’s intimate partner violence sources, resources waning No More Secrets In 2004, the Utah State Domestic Violence Cabinet Council released the first annual report, “No More Secrets,” on domestic violence and sexual assault statistics in the state, using sporadic timelines between 1994-2003. While the report was informative it didn’t include specific “domestic relationship groups” — only Women, Men and Children. When the 2005 report was released by the revamped Governor’s Violence Against Women and Families Cabinet Council, it included specific groups such as step-parent, common law spouse and homosexual relationship (collectively Intimate Partner Victims).

Similar with the 2004 report, 2005 staticized the numbers sometime between 2001-04. However, because more law enforcement agencies participated in the Incident-based Reporting program (IBR), a more detailed and clearly reported set of information was used to compile three specific areas of domestic violence: Of-

fenses Committed, Victim and Weapon Used, and Victim Injuries.

In 2004, using data provided by 58 out of 122 law enforcement agencies, the IBR reported 1 sex offense, 7 aggravated assaults, 39 simple assaults, and 5 intimidation charges among the homosexual relationship group. Fifty-one of the 52 offenses included a weapon, and a combined 116 injuries were reported among the victims. In the 2009 NMS report there was a significant incline in total offenses in 2008 of 93 and of which 76 included a weapon.

Then the 2012 report recorded an overwhelming surge in 2011 of 442 offenses among homosexual relationships. However, two scenarios could explain the exorbitant rise — either many more agencies took advantage of the IBR program in 2011 or more likely, since the 2011 report was not available (or possibly not even produced) the 2012 report was a combination of 2011 and 2012, but was not

for,” wrote Kaili Kehoulani Dastrup. “Shelly... i couldnt have had better memories without her. She’s goofy, funny and is always nice to me.

Im so greatful for her example and all that she Shelly Horsley has done for me. Im gonna miss her dearly... “Siska, im gonna miss our cancer walk tradtions, you teaching me how to cook dutch food and the warm mother hugs you give me.

We have had our ups and downs, and our rough patches. But i thank my mom for all the fun memories weve made when i was little up untill now Ill never forget our special times weve had together. ILL MAKE YOU PROUD MOM! Heaven gained two greatest moms to me!”

Some friends are blaming police for inaction in the situation. Others are blaming our mental health care system, saying the suspect was in need of treatment. Q indicated as such in the published report.

Accordingly, the number of offenses fell drastically in the 2013 and 2014 reports.

According to each NMS report provided, the most cited common offense among homosexual relationships in Utah was Simple Assault, an offense which doesn’t involve physical contact with the victim, and the most common weapon used was personal weapons, i.e., hands, feet and teeth.

No further annual report has been provided to the public to date. A call to the Utah Commission on Criminal and Juvenile Justice for comment on the report went unanswered by press time.

No More Abuse Domesticshelters.org is an extensive source of information and assistance for all persons of intimate partner violence and domestic violence. As of early August 2017, the website had 2,958 shelters/programs across the country registered in its database. There are 19 in Utah among the list, and only nine offer LGBTQ services: CANYON CREEK WOMEN’S CRISIS CTR in Cedar City, UT. Hotline: 435-865-7443 Main: 435-867-9411

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

John Williams’ killer pleads guilty An arsonist’s fire about a year ago shook the LGBT, Utah business and general communities by taking the life of well-known Salt Lake City restaurateur John Williams.

Craig Crawford plead guilty to first-degree felony counts of aggravated murder and aggravated arson in Craig Crawford 3rd District Court in Salt Lake City, Tuesday, June 26.

Williams and Crawford were married for 20 years and had filed for divorce. Williams filed for a protective order shortly before the fire and his death. Charges indicate CAPSA IN LOGAN, UT. Hotline: 435-753-2500 CENTER FOR WOMEN & CHILDREN IN CRISIS in Orem, UT. Main: 801-377-5500 DOVE CENTER in St. George, UT. Hotline: 435-628-0458 PATHWAYS TOOELE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SAFEHOUSE, Valley Behavioral Health in Tooele. Hotline: 435-224-2710 Main: 435-843-1677 PEACE HOUSE in Park City, UT. Hotline: 800-647-9161 Main: 435-658-4739 SALT LAKE AREA FAMILY JUSTICE CENTER at the YWCA Utah in Salt Lake City, UT. Hotline: 801-537-8600 Main: 801-236-3370 SEEKHAVEN FAMILY CRISIS AND RESOURCE CENTER in Moab, UT. Main: 435-259-2229 or 435-210-0617 YWCA WOMEN IN JEOPARDY in Salt Lake City, UT. Hotline: 801-537-8600 Main: 801-537-8604

Williams was in the process of evicting Crawford from the home, located near 600 North and East Capitol Street, and had expressed fear of Crawford and filed a petition for a protective order on May 2, 2016.

Crawford’s attorney said, with the guilty plea, prosecutors agreed not to seek the death penalty. Judge James Blanch will decide at a later hearing about life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Williams was a well-known LGBT community member, political and arts philanthropist and mentor to thousands of LGBT employees of his popular Market Street Grill, Oyster Bar and other restaurants founded beginning in this 1970s with partners Tom Seig and Tom Guinney. Q Domesticshelters.org also provides daily rankings by state. The rankings are supported by the number of agencies/shelters reporting to the site. Below are a few of Utah’s rankings as of 7/13/17.

Domestic Violence Spending — Population: 2,942,902; Reporting Locations 5; Total DV Spending $4,895,500; Spending by Location $979,100; Per Capita $1.66 Persons Turned Away — Reporting locations: 3; Total Persons Served: 14,168; Total Persons Turned Away: 2,105 (1,118 women and 987 men); Turned Away Percentage: 12.9 Average Funding Sources — Reporting locations: 5; Avg Federal Budget: $216,885; Avg Federal Percentage: 23; Avg State/Local Budget: $263,675 Many other resources are at domesticshelters.org including surveys, custom reports, assessment tools, recommended books, online forums/chats. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

Judge denies SL trans boy gender marker change on birth certificate

BY JOSHUA ADAMSON

When Lex Rigby, 17, and his family entered a West Jordan courtroom this summer, they had hoped to leave happy.

It was a moment the teen had been anticipating for a long time. “I was pretty excited. I wore a suit and everything,” Lex said.

But as the judge read and explained his ruling on the family’s request for Lex to be granted a name and gender marker change, the Rigbys were shocked. Judge Bruce C. Lubeck, of the Third Judicial District Court in West Jordan, granted Lex a name change to his birth certificate, but denied the request to change his gender marker to male.

Less than 30 days earlier, the teen’s parents petitioned on Lex’s behalf for a birth certificate change. Three years before that, Lex had begun hormone therapy as part of his transition after an emotional experience of coming out as a transgender man.

Although it was difficult, Lex’s parents have supported him all the way. After years of worrying about Lex’s depression, anxiety and threats of suicide, the Rigby’s understood what their son needed to be happy.

“Once we found out the reason behind it [the threat of suicide], it just wasn’t that big of a deal to us,” said Lex’s father, Sean Rigby. “We would rather have a happy kid than not have our child.”

Shortly after Lex came out as trans, Lex’s outlook on life seemed to improve.

And although some of the anxiety remains, the Rigbys rallied behind their son and brother. Lex received counseling from the Utah Pride Center, and his parents asked their friends and family for support.

Sean wrote a Facebook post asking friends and family not to misgender Lex. “17 years ago the love of my life and I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, who we cherished and loved more than anything. Our beautiful little girl Alexis has grown up and is ready to make big changes in life. From this point on my Alexis will live out life as a man and goes

by Lex. I hope that you all can accept this, if not, please feel free to unfriend, as its obvious we won’t get along.

“To Lex, thank you for having the courage to live the life you want, this is the one thing we have always told you to do. Me and your mom love you every bit as much as the day you were born and always will!”

After coming out, Lex’s next step was to request the state of Utah to officially recognize his name and gender. Finally, he’d have the chance to live his life openly, the way he sees fit. Lex’s lawyer, Josh Peterman, helped the family with their petition.

The Rigbys entered the West Jordan courtroom, holding each other’s hands, hopeful for a positive decision. But their feelings eventually changed to horror.

The Rigbys said they felt unfairly judged and unwelcome, and were particularly shocked at Judge Lubeck’s rationale for the denial. At one point, Lubeck compared Lex’s petition to someone requesting to change their name to Adolf Hitler, said Sean.

“We sat there just flabbergasted going, ‘Did he just make a reference to Hitler?’”

Ultimately, the judge explained that “he couldn’t in good conscience change a gender marker for Lex,” Sean said. The judge’s final words to Lex were “I seriously hope this won’t offend you.”

Lex’s experience follows one in a similar story recently reported by the Salt Lake Tribune. Angie Rice and Sean Childers-Gray were both denied gender marker changes in Utah courts this summer, but by a different judge.

Although the Rigbys suspect Judge Lubeck’s decision was based on a personal — potentially religious — interpretation of the law, Peterman said that judges have broad discretion in interpreting statutes. When asked whether the cases represent an emerging trend in the Utah judicial system, Peterman was skeptical.

Lubeck saw ambiguity in the law, he said.

The judge appeared to take issue with one portion of the statute that mentions sex reassignment surgery. Still,

Chery, Lex and Sean Rigby

Peterman argues that the interest of the child should have taken precedence. And according to Peterman and the Rigbys, nobody but the judge stood in opposition to the gender marker change.

Despite the disappointing result, Lex remains committed to challenging the court’s decision. “I don’t cry, I just get angry,” he said.

The Rigbys filed an appeal of Judge Lubeck’s ruling and are prepared to take their case to Utah’s Supreme Court if necessary. The process could take more than a year. But according to Peterman, Lex may have an additional option. Because he soon turns 18, Lex may be able to file on his own as an adult.

Regardless of the outcome, Lex’s family is standing behind him as the teen takes the lead. Lex is willing to help others like him navigate Utah’s courts and earn the rulings they believe they deserve.

“We’re willing to take the gamble,” said Sean.

In the meantime, Lex may face certain challenges because of the mismatch between his identity and legal documents.

His passport, which is marked female, has already made international travel a challenge. “If we end up traveling out of country [and] a female passport is shown, questions arise and it becomes difficult,” said Sean.

But Lex will carry on, and he not only wants to change the court’s decision in his case, but for others like him, too.

“I don’t want it to happen to someone else,” he said. “Because I feel I have the right to. Because I can.” Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

Steve Lester, left, and Russell Pack

Russell Pack picked for SLC airport Salt Lake City has “re-hired” former airport executive Russell Pack to serve, for the second time, as interim director of SLC International Airport. He worked for the airport from 1983 to 2007 and finished his career as the airport’s director of administration and commercial services, then serving on the Airport Advisory Board until 2014.

Pack is a longtime community and faith leader. He is an active parishioner at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Salt Lake City. He has led the church’s Children’s Formation for many years as well as several other responsibilities/ministries within the parish. In 2015 he was Diocesan Volunteer Coordinator for Episcopal General Convention 78 held in SLC in June-July, 2015. Pack

successfully recruited and coordinated over 600 volunteers for the General Convention.

He has been a state board member and volunteer for the U.S. Figure Skating Association for 40 years, is past president of Utah Associated Garden Clubs. He and his husband of 36 years, Steve Lester, garden and raise dogs in their Salt Lake City home. They have been active in the rescue of Shih Tzus and currently have two — Toby and Scooter McGrooter. Steve volunteers for Hearts 4 Paws Utah.

Mayor Jackie Biskupski called Pack, “A respected leader in the world of airport administration and will be key to keeping our airport running smoothly and supporting our first-class team on the terminal reconstruction project.” Q

Utah Fertility Center

Serving All Utah Families

BYU-Idaho professor fired after pro-gay FB post A BYU-Idaho teacher was told to retract a pro-LGBT Facebook post or lose her job. She didn’t retract the post.

Adjunct professor of political science Ruthie Robertson was told her contract for the fall and winter semesters has been cancelled. She was allowed to finish out her summer course, which has now ended.

Church leaders have said that personal beliefs on sexuality and gender identity that might run contrary to the church’s position would not cause people to lose their membership. They didn’t say, however, how it might affect their employment.

Her post is printed in its entirety on page 26 as a guest editorial.

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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

Ogden Pride headliner Bobby Jo Valentine

Third annual Ogden Pride will Rise on Historic 25th Street

BY MICHAEL AARON

The third annual Ogden Pride has burst the seams of the Ogden Amphitheater on Historic 25th Street, and will now include the park to the west.

It will take place Saturday, Aug. 5 from noon to 8 p.m. with the theme “Rise Together With PRIDE. “The Ogden Pride Festival honors all families by bringing together the Northern Utah community to celebrate our shared bonds of love and commitment,” said Tim Sharp, Ogden Pride board president.

“The annual Pride festivities are the result of many people coming together to support this community celebration.”

ENTERTAINMENT Singer-songwriter BOBBY JO VALENTINE headlines the entertainment this year.

Valentine is an independent artist, crossing genres with music based in hope-folk, soul-pop, and poetic rock, and twice won Songwriter of the Year and this year won Best Song at the West Coast Songwriters competition. A documentary film was made of his journey, as he broke away from a conservative Bap-

tist upbringing, reunited with his birth mother, came out as gay and discovered he has a unique talent for writing and performing music. 2017 marks his first international tour, with shows in England, Italy, France, Germany and Netherlands. He stops in Ogden as he travels back to California from Missouri.

Salt Lake City native LEO CODY will bring his smooth, defining pop music tone with a slight twang to the stage.

His first professional performing job was singing at Lagoon and then from there he went on to Busch Gardens in Tampa, Fla. He joined a cover band and went on tour through Asia and the Middle East and then headed back to Utah, deciding it was time to create his own stamp on music. He’s now busy working on songs for an upcoming EP.

What is any Pride without the SALIVA SISTERS? They take to the stage with parody songs about fiber, bidets, and bras. Gay-O! CHEER SALT LAKE will raise your heartbeat with their gymnastic cheerleading routines.

The Ogden-based IMPERIAL RAINBOW COURT OF NORTHERN UTAH will bring their queens to dazzle you.

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome ZIEGFELD THEATER, who brought 1930s Cabaret to Washington Boulevard and now has Peter and the Starcatcher on their stage, followed by Next to Normal in September and Guys and Dolls in October.

Pop-rock duo MINX will play their sometimes campy, sometimes vaudevillian, but always fun and funky music to Ogden Pride. They will be looping from Salt Lake to Arizona, up the West Coast from San Diego to Seattle,

and back through Boise this month alone.

Also entertaining will be Alter Egos, Jhael Quiroga, Juana Ghani, Karaoke DJ Kevan Floyd, Luke Allen, Orphans Cabaret, and Tribal Love Dancers.

VENDORS AND EXHIBITORS Dozens of food vendors, nonprofit organizations and businesses will be on-hand all day at the event.

“The Ogden Pride Festival is getting bigger every year, and we are grateful to all of the people and organizations who participate and make it happen,” Sharp said. Q Additional information about Ogden Pride can be found at ogdenpride.org or by calling 801-917-4588.

Ogden Pride 5K winners More than 50 people and dogs ran, walked, or strolled down the Ogden River Parkway on June 17 for the second-annual Ogden Pride 5K Fun Run. Organizers called it a “family-friendly, pet-friendly, kid-friendly, walker-friendly event” held at the Ogden Botanical Gardens as a fundraiser

for Ogden Pride, which will be held Saturday, August 5th at the Ogden Amphitheater on Historic 25th Street.

Several prizes were handed out: First person to cross the finish line: Daniel Wade; Best costume on a person: Brain Siguenza; Best pet: Boo (Tanisha Mabry)

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Imagine Dragons singer wishes he could ‘re-knock’ on mission doors

‘I was wrong.’ Will play ‘Love Loud’ music festival in Provo Aug. 26

BY TONY HOBDAY

Pointing at a teleprompter, “Well I had this whole thing up here that I was going to read and that’s why I put on my glasses cause I’m really blind, but honestly I feel like I just want to speak from the heart, so I’m gonna take them off,” opened Dan Reynolds, lead singer of Imagine Dragons, at the 2017 TrevorLIVE gala on June 19 in New York City.

Accepting the Trevor Project’s Hero Award, which honors an individual who works to increase visibility and understanding of the LGBT community, Reynolds’ 10 and a half minute speech, though occasionally awkward, and including a moment in which he becomes visibly broken up, inspired the room.

The seventh of eight brothers and one sister, Reynolds grew up Mormon in Las Vegas. He admitted in his acceptance speech that he struggled with his faith from an early age and that he “wanted to believe in God.” After being kicked out of Brigham Young University for confessing intimate relations with his high school girlfriend, Reynolds decided to go on a mission.

“I felt dirty, I felt sinful, so I went on a mission,” Reynolds admitted.

He served a two-year mission in Omaha, Neb., at which he joked, “You’re this geeky, stupid-looking dude with a name badge, and you get Slurpee’s thrown at you.” He went on to say “I knocked on thousands of doors” and told people that being gay is a sin. “But I never felt it in my heart.”

In 2011, Reynolds married Aja Volkman and they have three daughters: Arrow Eve, 4 years old, and fraternal twins Gia and Coco Rae, 4 months old. “My wife was my missionary,” he said. “[She taught me] to be gay is beautiful, it’s perfect.”

“I wish I could re-knock [on] all those doors and tell them that I was wrong,” he said.

During the gala event, the band played stripped down versions of their hits including “Radioactive” and new singles “Believer” and “Whatever It Takes,” and announced a new music festival called

“Love Loud” that will take place Aug. 26 in Provo, Utah to support LGBTQ charities including The Trevor Project and GLAAD. “I know, I know, I know there are Mormons and people of orthodox religion all around the world that feel the exact same as me. We are going to invite them to come out to listen to music. We are going to have speakers talk about how a family has to accept their child in the home. If Mormons are educated about it, if people of different faiths are educated about it, I think they will change their hearts, they will accept their children,” Reynolds said. Q

Encircle LGBT Resource Center booted from Provo’s Freedom Festival Grand Parade

BY TONY HOBDAY

In a grandiloquent gesture, the Freedom Festival’s Grand Parade organizers revoked, on July 3, the pre-approved application of Encircle: LGBT + Family & Youth Resource Center to march in the July 4th parade, classifying it an advocacy group which are prohibited from participating.

“As a 501c3, we dispute this classification,” Larsen wrote in a Facebook post.

“We do not and never have advocated a certain political party or legal action.

We maintain, as we always have, that our mission is to ‘Empower families to sustain the circle of their love, enabling each member to thrive.’”

The decision prompted an outcry on social media. Mr-DJ wrote: Yes, Independence Day is a celebration of our freedoms here in America. The problem is that these a$$holes running the parade aren’t celebrating the freedom of ALL Americans, and all families. So this Utah celebration has now become a sham, and thus Anti-American. Their parade permit should have been revoked BECAUSE of this action.

Also the bit about us having our “month”.... what a joke. The fact is that Non-Gays already have TWELVE MONTHS, so don’t even go there!

Remember that “NONE OF US ARE FREE UNTIL ALL OF US ARE FREE” In a July 15 op-ed in the Deseret News, Kyle Chilton, a BYU employee, wrote: [Encircle’s] mission is a noble one, to “empower families to sustain the circle of their love, enabling each member to thrive.” With teen suicide on the rise in Utah and LGBT youths often struggling to find acceptance in our community, this organization provides incredible and vital services to a portion of our population that is in desperate need of love and help.

At best, this was a shortsighted and irresponsible decision by festival organizers. At worst, it was deliberate and discriminatory. Either way, this decision was hypocritical. To revoke permission for an approved organization (and one with no history of advocacy) to march less than 24 hours before the parade while allowing other organizations that routinely influence public policy is completely disingenuous.

“We respect the decision of the parade committee and will use this as an opportunity to show Provo who we are. We will always come from a place of love and intention, never fear or reaction. We are here to be a safe space for all, which means being planted firmly,” Larsen said. Q

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Primary election mail ballots due Aug. 14 Primary elections will be held August 15th across the state for municipal and special service district offices, including numerous city mayors, county and city council members, water, sewer and parks & rec officials. Also, Utah’s Republican Party will hold a special primary election to decide who will be on the Nov. 7 general election ballot to replace outgoing Rep. Jason Chaffetz.

Most counties will hold mail-in balloting, which are due Aug. 8 or 14, depending on the county.

Mail-in voter registration has closed for this election, but Aug. 8 is the last day for online voter registration at secure. utah.gov/voterreg or in-person at the county clerk’s office in the county you reside.

Candidates in races QSaltLake Magazine is following:

U.S. 3rd Congressional District Republican Primary Candidates Only the Republican Party has a primary to determine who will be on the general election ballot: Christopher Niles Herrod, herrodforcongress.com

Herrod is the most conservative of the three candidates in the Republican primary to replace Chaffetz. He has written that SB 296, which extended protections in employment based on sexual orientation and gender identity, was a burden on businesses and threatened religious freedoms. His platform includes

complete repeal of the ACA, transfer of federal land into state hands, deportation of illegal immigrants and support for Trump’s travel ban.

Tanner Ainge aingeforcongress.com Another ultra-conservative, Ainge is focused on smaller government. He is a licensed attorney with experience in the investing and healthcare industries. In his campaign literature, he says “I will fight with any means necessary to defend and protect religious freedom,” and “I am firmly pro-life and believe in the sanctity of marriage.”

John Curtis, johncurtis.org Curtis is Mayor of Provi City and a moderate Republican who made headlines while Provo was considering passing non-discrimination ordinances. He posted a personal and thoughtful appeal for compassion and unity on his blog for Provo residents.

“Every citizen of Provo — whether we realize it or not — associates with someone who publicly or privately identifies as LGBT,” Curtis wrote. “They are our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers, our siblings, our children... Even still, for most of my life I’ve made casual judgments about the LGBT community without the benefit of thoughtful consideration. I regret my uninformed judgment … No matter where I turn or where I look I’ve had an overwhelming confirmation that we need to treat our gay friends, brothers, sisters,

sons and daughters with dignity, love and respect,” he continued. “While this seems obvious to me, there are many places in our world, and places in the state of Utah (including Provo) where gay and lesbian people feel marginalized, shunned and severely judged.

It pains me to watch my loved ones in a world that is so quick to judge them without knowing how hard they try to be good people. There is so much good in Provo, but sometimes I worry that our kindness is reserved for people who look, act and believe like we do.”

Midvale Mayor Andrea Person, fb.me/rightPerson4Mayor Person has little out about her personal views, but a read of her Facebook wall shows several posts about “proper” gender roles, debunked anti-Hillary and anti-liberal memes.

Robert M. Hale, facebook.com/ hale4midvalemayor

Hale is a former Midvale city councilman and has served on city boards and committees for over 30 years. He has worked for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for much of his career.

Phil Jankovich, t.co/MayorDrPhil Jankovich is a mechanical engineer and owner of the newly-created JANCO Sciences. His campaign is focused on green space, curb and gutter and recreational activities in the city.

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Sophia Hawes-Tingey,

sophiahawes.com, facebook.com/ SophiaForMidvaleMayor

Hawes-Tingey is a software engineer and US Navy Veteran who moved to Utah in 2010, hoping to work in a discrimination-free zone for a company that valued diversity in order to send money back to her daughters living in Texas, during a time when the economy went flat in the Lone Star State. She has been an LGBT advocate since then, as well as having worked in charge of welcoming for two Unitarian Universalist churches. Her objective is to make Utah a welcoming place, with fairness and opportunity for all, celebration of diversity, access to clean air and water, and excellent education. If elected, she would be the first openly-trans person to hold elected office in the state.

Matthew Hansen Hansen lists himself as a director at Rocky Mountain Hospitality, which owns and operates Super 8 Hotel properties. We could find no political views or candidate web site.

Mont L. Millerberg Millerberg is a board member of the Canyons School District, elected in November, 2016. He is a retired certified public accountant. No web site or other information can be found on his beliefs.

Salt Lake City Council District 1 — Rose Park/ Fair Park/Airport James Rogers, jamesmrogers. com

Rogers is the current District 1 city councilman, serving his

first term. He is a registered Republican. He voted on favor of designating a section of 900 South to be called Harvey Milk Boulevard, and he was the only councilperson to vote in favor of Jim Dabakis to be the Salt Lake City representative on the UTA Board.

Arnold M. Jones Jones works at the Salt Lake City Aging Services Department as a driver. We can find no info on his campaign.

David C. Atkin, davidcatkin.com Atkin’s Facebook wall is riddled with anti-immigrant, proTrump, anti-Hillary memes.

His web site states that he would like to empower Salt Lake City police with the ability to question minorities to see if they are in the country legally. He wants to remove funding for homeless shelters.

Salt Lake City Council District 3 — Avenues/ Downtown/ Federal Heights As the current councilman, Stan Penfold, is not seeking re-election, a long list of candidates have entered the race to replace him.

Christopher Wharton,

votechriswharton.com, facebook.com/ChrisWhartonforSLCCouncil

An attorney whose firm focuses on LGBTQ and family law, Wharton has experience in public service, serving two terms on the Salt Lake City Human Rights Commission and the Utah Pride Center’s board of directors. Among the lower Avenues resident’s key issues: affordable housing, preserving the character of historic neighborhoods and expanding the city’s environmental initiatives.

Jeffrey Garbett Garbett is a contractor, real estate broker and screenwriter who just finished film school. His foremost priorities are public safety and homelessness, he said, followed by a desire to make the city affordable for families and to improve its air quality.

Brian Fukushima, bit.ly/2uxiqPG Fukushima is an orthopedic surgeon who is president and CEO of Utah Orthopedic Specialists and owner and medical director of the Brighton Medical Clinic. He was a founder of the Asian American Student Association at the University of Utah and says he represents the increased diversity of Avenues residents.

Laura Cushman, cushmanforcouncil. com, facebook.com/Cushman4Council

Cushman served as an intern in the San Francisco Mayor’s Office of Criminal Justice and as an advocate on behalf of disadvantaged children. A resident of the Avenues, Cushman said improvements to the city’s infrastructure would encourage more residents to walk or ride their bikes, and thereby improve its poor air quality.

Phil Carroll, votephilcarroll.com Carroll is the president of Community Housing Services, which has 200 low-income units in Salt Lake City. He was also chair of the Greater Avenues Community Council for 2 terms, the annual Memory Grove Clean Up for 20 years and the Avenues Street Fair. Q

Chris

Wharton Salt Lake City Council District 3

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

Qmmunity OUR COMMUNITY’S BRIEFS

booth telling visitors how, when, where the club meets and membership fees.

Information at the Alternative Garden Club’s Facebook group at bit.ly/altgarden

Rebelling against conformity

UAF goes back to school The Utah AIDS Foundation is seeking donations to provide K-12 school aged children of UAF clients with new shoes, pants, shirts, backpacks and more for back to school.

The Retail Federation reports families spend almost $700 on back-to-school supplies each year. UAF says these funds are hard to come by for families already facing the unique challenges of living with HIV. Here are some common needed school supplies: Lunch bags, #2 pencils, erasers, pencil boxes, pens, colored pencils, highlighters, 12-inch rulers, glue sticks, 4-oz bottles of glue, composition notebooks, loose leaf paper (wide ruled), folders, crayons, markers, USB flash drives, combination locks and binder dividers.

Volunteer to fill back packs or donate items/funds at www.utahaids.org or call 801-487-2323. To donate money, send a check to Utah AIDS Foundation at 1408 S. 1100 East, Salt Lake City, Utah 84105.

Make SL County Fair a gay day The Salt Lake County Fair is Aug. 2-5, and the Alternative Garden Club says that Cheri Schulzke. the Fair’s agricultural and floriculture supervisor, has invited club members to volunteer at the county’s booth at the Equestrian Center, 2100 W 111400 South in South Jordan. The purpose of the volunteer activity is to create awareness for the club. The Alternative Garden Club will have a flyer at the

Rocky Mountain Rebellion 2017 will be held Aug. 4-6, in Salt Lake City. The Rebellion is focused around leather culture, fetishes, BDSM and power exchange relationships. There are 25 classes presented

by Leather/BDSM educators from all over the country.

The Rebellion features two pageant-style competitions for the Rocky Mountain Person of Leather and Rocky Mountain Puppy & Trainer feeding into national titleholder competitions.

Vendors will be selling leather, kink and BDSM gear, toys and clothing.

Silent auctions and other fundraising during the weekend will benefit the Utah AIDS Foundation. The evenings feature social events including a Leaf & Leather Cigar Social benefiting the Rocky Mountain Person of Leather Travel Fund, a blackBOOTS sponsored men’s party as well as women’s and pansexual offerings.

There is a group motorcycle ride on Saturday afternoon.

The keynote brunch, Sunday, features Stela Furtado (AKA D. Love). Furtado is the 2017 San Francisco Bay Area Leather Alliance Woman of the Year and 2016 Ms. San Francisco Leather.

More info and registration online at rmrebellion.com

Historic talk of LGBT Utah 1975-76 The Utah Stonewall Historical Society Lecture Series will discuss the founding of the first Gay Community Center, the Imperial Court of Utah, and conscious-

PICTURE YOURSELF IN A

ness raising “rap” groups at the University of Utah, as well as the homosexual purges at BYU. Wednesday, August 2, 7–8:30 p.m.

Salt Lake City Public Library Marmalade Branch, 280 W 500 North

You thought you were busy: RCGSE happenings Tiana La Shae, the current Empress of The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, says the group is going places for the next 30 days.

First is travel to Boise for Coronation, “Adventures in Candyland,” July 21–23.

RCGSE will co-host a “dueling water party” with the Ogden Court and will have a sizable entrance for Coronation. The Empress says Boise is one of the most “fun Coronations we attend.” People interested in going can contact Tiana La Shae via Facebook at facebook.com/rcgse/ or email empress@rcgse.org for details.

King of Hearts XL, “Team Dick,” will be hosting a “Pick your Poison” show at the SunTrapp, July 29. Doors open at 8 p.m., and show at 9 p.m. The show is “drag roulette,” where the performers perform to music selected at random. This is a fundraiser for the Utah Food Bank.

RCGSE suggests a $5 donation or three or more cans of food or nonperishable food items as admission.

The usual fourth Sunday of the month “Sunday Funday” is moved to July 30 at the SunTrapp at 4 p.m. A $5 donation for RCGSE philanthropy is suggested.

On Aug. 5, RCGSE will be in Ogden with a booth at the Ogden Pride Festival in the amphitheater on 25th Street. The newly crowned Mr. Gay Pride, Justin Beaver, will represent the RCGSE.

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AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

Council to address LGBTrelated sexual violence The Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault announced the creation of a new statewide LGBTQ Coordinating Council to ensure that LGBTQ survivors of and victims of sexual violence, as well as the broader LGBTQ community, are Turner Bitton represented in victim services organizations, institutions, and partnerships that serve sexual violence survivors statewide.

“LGBTQ people experience violence at a disproportionate rate compared to our community at large,” said executive director Turner Bitton. “We believe fundamentally that LGBTQ people have unique insights, experiences, and backgrounds that will enrich and strengthen our efforts to end sexual violence in Utah.”

“We’re hoping to get a lot of interest from folks across the state who are interested in participating in the Council and ensure that LGBTQ people are represented throughout our work. This Council, at its core, is about building power and ensuring that LGBTQ people have a voice in the broader movement to end sexual violence,” said executive director Turner Bitton.

Bitton says that several studies indicate sexual violence is often an overlooked dimension of hate or bias-motivated crimes against adults who identify (or are perceived to be) LGBTQ. Sexual harassment between same-sex

peers: Intersection of mental health, homophobia, and gays and lesbians are more likely to experience sexual violence compared to other groups typically targeted for hate crime victimization.

“All of this is particularly concerning because research also indicates that such hate crimes are less likely to be reported to authorities than other types of hate crimes, due to fears of bias against LGBTQ people who experience violence,” Bitton said.

The Council seeks to ensure adequate representation of LGBTQ survivors in all of Utah’s Sexual Assault Response Teams. These teams ensure a victim-centered response when sexual violence has been reported. This helps start the healing process, but also helps the survivor maintain the courage to go through the investigation and prosecution processes.

LGBTQ-affirming training will also be provided statewide to sexual violence programs, law enforcement, and any other institution that interacts with sexual violence survivors.

The group will also produce information for LGBTQ survivors of sexual violence, and will focus specifically on rural, underserved, and culturally-specific programs and communities.

UCASA has opened applications to the public for those who are interested in serving on the Council. Council members are expected to agree to a one year term on the Council.

Members of the public who are interested in the council can find additional information at ucasa.org/lgbtq.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

August 5th

Ogden Amphitheater 12-8 pm Free Entrance Great Entertainment Fun for the Whole Family

visit us online

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

quotes American TV’s first gay character was played by then-unknown Ryan Phillippe “There had never been a gay teenager represented on television up until that point: It’s before Will & Grace, it’s before Ellen came out, it’s before any of that stuff. I remember the fan mail that we would get, my mother and I would get, from gay teenagers or from parents of gay teenagers who found a way in to relate to or talk to their child through the show.

Entertainment media can do those things, it can make people think differently or see a different side of something and I do remember and appreciating that — even back then when I was only a teenager myself. But in terms of like the larger view, I didn’t have a full understanding of how important it could have been, but I’m proud to have done it, I’m proud that that’s something I can say was a part of my career.”

—Ryan Phillippe to Too Fab, reflecting on playing the first ever out gay teen on TV. Phillippe played “Billy Douglas” on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live from 1992-1993; it was his first professional acting gig.

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who’s your daddy

No laughing matter

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Several

years ago, Kelly and I were walking our dog when I mentioned I hadn’t taken the laundry out of the washing machine. He feigned anger, and in response, I said, “Please don’t beat me.” It was all in jest. But the lesbian woman getting out of her car didn’t recognize that, and she came rushing to defend me, fists up and yelling for Kelly to leave me alone.

Her reaction confused us for two reasons: first, we had no idea someone had overheard our exchange; and second, the idea of violence in our relationship was completely and utterly foreign to us. In 29 years together, we’ve never raised a hand to each other. We never would.

Sadly, that isn’t true for all gay or lesbian couples.

A 2014 study conducted by Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine uncovered some startling evidence about domestic violence within the LGBT community. The researchers examined data compiled from four studies, totaling some 30,000 participants. What they found shocked me: LGBT couples have consistently higher rates of domestic violence. In fact, 25 to 75 percent of LGBT people may be the victim of domestic violence.

The psychologists at Northwestern hypothesized that these higher rates may be the result of the couples having to deal with the additional stresses of being sexual mi-

norities. What’s really disturbing is that same-sex domestic violence is so under-reported that experts fear rates may actually be higher.

Tragically, there are myriad reasons that same-gender domestic violence doesn’t get reported. The research I studied revealed a wide range of excuses to dismiss violence: Ideas about masculinity: One excuse gay man-on-gay man domestic abuse is ignored is the preconceived notion about masculinity. There remains a belief that guys are prone to be more violent, that “real men” solve their problems with their fists. After all, when was the last time you saw Chuck Norris solve his problem by “using his words?”

Fear of the police: Some victims of violence don’t believe that law enforcement is concerned about them.

There is some historical merit to this based on decades of blatant and aggressive homophobia on the part of many police forces. Remember the Stonewall Riots erupted to end police brutality. Even if the obvious homophobia has diminished, there are still very subtle examples. How would that Salt Lake City cop who made news for refusing to ride his motorcycle at Pride treat a gay domestic violence situation?

Life in the closet: Fear can be an effective silencing tool. If you’re not out to your family, your friends or your coworkers, the threat of exposure can be a powerful

deterrent to seeking help. It is also an added level of abuse.

For parents, there is an entirely different, more sinister layer to domestic violence: the effects it has on the kids.

Experts say that it can take years for a child to recover from witnessing continued domestic violence at home.

Moreover, children learn relationship behavior from their parents. Experts note that children raised in a violent home are far more likely to be a perpetrator or victim of domestic violence than those

raised in nonviolent homes.

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, please reach out.

The Utah Domestic Violence Coalition is a great resource for finding help. Because not everyone can be saved like me — whether I needed it or not — by such a cool passerby, who misunderstood a couple’s joking around, but clearly understood that domestic violence is no laughing matter. Q In my last two columns I incorrectly stated Dr. Jen O’Ryan’s company is called Double Talk Consulting. It’s actually Double Tall Consulting. Sorry about that, Jen!

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

lambda lore

Fake wives, fake lives

BY BEN WILLIAMS

At the

start of the Roaring Twenties a century ago, two women with ties to Salt Lake City became famous in the early Hollywood Gay and Lesbian community. This closet society was centered round a pleasure

years, Nazimova met a Gay Englishman named Charles Bryant, who would become her alleged “husband.” They were never legally married, but all the same the two claimed to be married and would continue the pretense for 20 years.

palace known as the Garden of Allah owned by the “Divine” Alla Nazimova.

Alla Nazimova was an avant-garde bohemian of Jewish Russian heritage who was the darling of New York Theatre during the first two decades of the 20th Century.

She introduced on the stage, to American audiences, the geniuses of Europe — Stanislavsky, Chekhov and Ibsen.

By 1910 she even had a theater named in her honor on 39th Street in New York City.

As an actress Nazimova was also acquainted with Broadway stage agent Bessie Marbury.

Marbury introduced the notorious seducer of women, Mercedes de Acosta, to Nazimova, a poet and playwright, who afterwards became lifelong friends. During these early

Nazimova also befriended a handsome Italian gigolo who was arrested by the police in New York on suspicion of petty theft and blackmailing. Nazimova bailed him out and then got him a job as a chorus boy in a touring musical headed towards the West Coast to get him out of town. The young man would change his name in California to the screen name of Rudolph Valentino.

Dancer and costume designer Natacha Rambova and script writer June Mathis were also intimately acquainted with Nazimova after the Broadway star relocated to Hollywood.

In an interview for Motion Picture magazine, Nazimova acknowledged, “most of my friends are young girls.” Her detractors added to the insinuations. One reviewer wrote that

“her vogue is based not so much on the perfection of her productions as on her own bizarre personality and artistry, and seemingly an overwhelming appeal for the feminine sex.”

Natacha Rambova was a pseudonym for Winifred Kimball Shaughnessy who was born in 1897 in Salt Lake City.

She was the great-granddaughter of Mormon Apostle Heber C. Kimball. After her parents’ divorce, Winifred, known as “Wink”, left Utah and traveled to Europe with her father, Colonel Micahel Shaughnessy.

Her mother, Winnie Kimball, married as her second husband Edgar de Wolfe, brother of the famous interior designer Elsie de Wolf.

Winnie Kimball de Wolfe’s sister-in-law lived with Bessie Marbury, the Broadway agent.

Since 1892 the couple lived in what observers accepted as a lesbian relationship. De Wolfe, in 1926, married diplomat Sir Charles Mendl which became page one news in the New York Times. The marriage was only platonic and one of convenience. The pair kept separate residences. As the paper put it: “When in New York she makes her home with Miss Elizabeth Marbury at 13 Sutton Place.”

Evidently Sir Mendl’s knighthood was bestowed due to his retrieval of letters from a gigolo who had been blackmailing George, Duke of Kent, the fourth son of the reigning monarch, King George V. The Duke of Kent, who was bisexual, even had an affair with Noel Coward in 1923. The Duke’s racy image was said only to have added to his charm and someone commented at the time: “He is not safe in taxis with either sex.”

After her marriage, Elsie de Wolfe was known as Lady Mendl who would often entertain her guests by doing cartwheels. Gay songwriter Cole Porter wrote a lyric about

Elsie De Wolfe in the song “Anything Goes.” He observed, “When you hear that Lady Mendl, standing up/Now turns a handspring landing up-/On her toes/Anything goes!”

After Winnie Kimball divorced her second husband, Edgar, she left him in New York to manage the business affairs of Elsie. Winnie then remarried for the last time to self-made millionaire Richard Hudnut who, having no children of his own, adopted Natasha Rambova as his daughter. Hudnut made his millions by premiering the first American-made cosmetic lines which he called DuBarry. In its heyday DuBarry was bigger and more popular than Revlon is today.

Shedding her Utah heritage, Winifred Kimball Shaughnessy changed her name to Natacha Rambova and joined the Imperial Russian Ballet. She was mentored by her lover, Theodore Kosloff.

June Mathis was born June Hughes in 1887 in Leadville, Colorado. After her father died her mother married William Mathis and moved to Utah.

Mathis grew up in Salt Lake City, which she would proudly consider her hometown for the rest of her life.

In 1900, Mathis began a career in Vaudeville and her stage career grew over the next few years, bringing her good reviews and much acclaim. In 1908 she played with Julian Eltinge, the renowned female impersonator. After a brief one-time foray in front of the camera, Mathis then began writing scripts and signed with Metro Pictures, where she quickly rose in the ranks. By 1918 she was writing for the studio’s biggest stars, such as Alla Nazimova. Mathis became head of the scenario department, making her the first female film executive ever.

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

GARDEN OF ALLAH With her film career flourishing, Nazimova bought an imposing California Spanish home at 8080 Sunset Boulevard, in what is now West Hollywood, building a pool and landscaping the property’s three and a half acres. The residence was named “The Garden of Allah,” and became a popular place for the Hollywood elite, Gay and straight.

Alla Nazimova was not merely interested in her own career but also of those she thought of as her protégés. The “mistress of the Garden of Allah” attracted talent and it was through her efforts that rising star Rudolph Valentino was elevated to the strata of living legend while also nurturing the careers of writer June Mathis and art designer Natacha Rambova.

By 1920 Rambova had fallen in love with the charismatic Alla Nazimova, who was her protégé after Metro Pictures engaged her for the film Aphrodite. Although the film was never made, it was the vehicle by which Rambova met Nazimova. It was during production of Aphrodite that Theodore Kosloff, having heard of Rambova’s affair with Nazimova, shot her in the leg, destroying her dancing career. Not long after, Rambova met her future

The rican e Am ustpany R C om ny compa nrust merica 0 S a e h t M @ 25 E 210 16 8 15-29 385-4

husband Rudolph Valentino, also a protégé of June Mathis.

They were married to enhance Valentino’s image as a Latin lover. Rambova, however, tried to manage Valentino’s image in a different direction than the one Mathis had created for him.

Rambova and Valentino later divorced, but not until a riff had developed between Valentino, Rambova and Mathis.

When Valentino died in 1926 he was virtually penniless and Mathis, having made up with him, gave up her crypt as a temporary resting place. When she died suddenly in 1927, Valentino was moved to the empty crypt of Mathis’ Italian husband. Mathis and Valentino are resting side-by-side.

Nazimova never regained her popularity after the 1920s and died penniless in 1945.

Rambova married a Spanish count and fled Spain during the Spanish Civil War, barely escaping with her life. She later became an Egyptologist where she gained some notoriety. She died in 1966. In her later life she disdained the “glamour” of Hollywood, saying it was a counterfeit substitute for beauty. A painting of Natacha was donated to the University of Utah, as well as Egyptian artifacts, some of which were found to be fakes. Q

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

queer shift

Pet Shift

BY CHARLES LYNN FROST

With this

issue surrounding the wonderful world of pets, I wanted to explore a few things that many a pet owners wishes they’d researched a whole lot more before committing to the life of being a pet owner. Pets are amazing, and their main job is to bring love into the world, particularly for their owner(s). I currently own a Norwich Terrier, and he keeps me alive, vibrant, and oh my God running. If you saw the brilliant Christopher Guest’s BEST IN SHOW, then you know the Norwich breed. He was the terrier that took best in show. youtu.be/ DC_PACr5cT8 A few questions, tips, suggestions before you become the owner of a pet, an animal will change you forever, and their love and eventual loss will be some of the strongest and most intense feelings in your life.

What kind of pet is best for you, your lifestyle, your preferences, time, eccentricities, and an overall two-way joy you, and the pet you choose will enjoy day to day.

What will your life be like in five or even 10 years? This is important to strongly consider regardless of your current age. Will there be a lot of moving? Will you life and career be taking you to many places? If you are a millennial think about 10 years from now and imagine you and your pet. If you are aging what kind of pet may be lower maintenance for you in your mature years? Do you need a pet for safety reasons, for company in your dwelling; a constant companion? If your work requires you to travel a great deal, who will care for your pet?

Do your research, both from online as well as live sources. I’m going to shift to dogs now for awhile. Most people see a breed they adore physically, and then they throw their heart and head completely for that breed. Keep your distance! Examine the type of diet, exercise, lifestyle, longevity, specific health issues the breed is notorious for, and then make your decision

more fully informed. If you are rescuing a pet, sometimes that is not your option, but do the best to you can to understand ALL you can about the breed or mix you are taking into your life, because your life will change in many significant ways.

A dog or cat can live 15 or more years, so envisioning how pet-friendly your life will be in the future is important. “Consider whether you’re likely to be married, have children, move, change careers or undergo other major life changes, Keep in mind that as pets age, their needs change as well.”

Will you be adopting the pet by yourself or with someone? If you have a roommate or spouse, make sure that he or she is totally committed to a new pet,” otherwise, expect drama. I’ve seen many couples fight openly over the care of their pet. And even if everyone is on board with the idea of getting a pet, it’s important for people in the household to express concerns ahead of time. For instance, if shedding is a problem for someone, you may want to aim for a dog or cat with a shorter coat.

How much time can you dedicate to your pet each day? Though dogs generally require more time and attention than cats, you should be able to give any pet your undivided attention. Dogs and cats who don’t receive daily interaction have a greater risk of developing behavioral problems, anxiety and obesity. And don’t forget energy. If you regularly come home late at night only to plop down in front of the TV, that’s not a good sign. Pets need and deserve real engagement, such as playing and walking, in addition to cuddles and snuggles.

Can you afford to own an animal? Even if the cost of the pet itself is negligible, you need to factor in food, supplies and vet visits. According to the ASPCA, dog owners should expect to spend about $1,500 on a dog during the first year of ownership; cat owners should set aside at least $1,000 for that crucial first year.

If you plan to split the costs with someone, make sure you’re all in agreement about the amount that will be spent on the pet. “Talking about costs in advance helps avoid surprises,” Shain says. “For example, is everyone on board with buying premium pet food? Do you want pet insurance?” While we’re on the subject, I

advise owners to consider insurance when pets are young. It can save you thousands of dollars should a medical crisis arise, and they do.

Do you have support from others if you’re working late or traveling? Many behavioral problems and even bladder infections result from not having a reliable system in place to relieve pets who are confined indoors. Dr. Ward says. Imagine not being able to use the restroom for 14 hours!” Look into boarding facilities, sitters and daycare before you adopt or own. Secure a network of people who can help you in a pinch: Make sure you have trustworthy friends and neighbors who will be there for you in an emergency.

How much household destruction can you tolerate? Accidents are a given when you bring a pet into your life. There will be misunderstandings, miscommunications and missed potty breaks. Be patient.

Within a few weeks of regular training, you’ll be well on your way to a dream relationship. The real question is how prepared an owner is to commit to early and consistent training. Destructive behavior, like garbage raiding, can be hazardous to your pet’s health. A pet who’s well-mannered and focused on toys is sure to be happier — and so is the family.

To summarize, here’s a quick list of questions anyone with a pet or considering a pet must grapple with.

If you already have a pet, is that animal likely to accept a new housemate? What do you hope to get out of the relationship? Do you have the time and resources needed for proper training? Do you have small children? Are you ready to make a long-term commitment? Do you live alone? With a partner? Do you have children? Are you ready to change your lifestyle? Do you live in an apartment or a house? Do you rent or own your house?

Are you ready to accept that there can be slight damage to your property? Do you suffer from allergies? Are you financially prepared to take care of an animal? Do you know someone reliable to take care of your animal during your vacations? Can you spend quality time with your companion? Cat or Dog? Other Pets?

Take your time, do your homework, then take the leap towards immeasurable love in your daily life. Q

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AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

creep of the month Anti-Aging & Skincare:

Karen Handel

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Another

day another truly terrible person elected to Congress. America is on a roll when it comes to voting for people who are the worst.

As I write this I’m in Chicago with my family during Pride. The Navy Pier Ferris wheel is lit up in rainbow colors. In fact, when my 7-year-old son saw it he cried, “Look! A gay Ferris wheel!” We also saw cars with rainbow flags waving out their windows as I drove down the freeway. It’s a happy time.

Or at least it should be.

Sadly I can’t help think about Georgia’s newly elected Republican congresswoman Karen Handel. She beat the much better human being Jon Ossoff, a Democrat, but not by much. While some are pointing at Ossoff’s defeat and saying it’s proof the Democratic Party is dead and that Nancy Pelosi should be buried along with it, that’s stupid and short sighted.

America deserves better than that.

Okay, but why am I thinking of Handel as I gaze upon the gay Ferris wheel?

Back in 2003, according to Think Progress, Handel was a little more gay friendly. Or at least appeared so. The Log Cabin Republicans threw their support behind her because she appeared to think domestic partner benefits were not the work of Satan (LCR’s standards are not high). But no more!

In 2010 she told a local Georgia news station that she not only didn’t know any gay couples with children, but that she said that a same-sex couple raising a kid “is not the best household for a child.”

When asked why she thought “gay parents aren’t as legitimate as heterosexual parents” she answered, “Because I don’t.”

Well, then.

But that was seven years ago! Surely she’s come around since then, right? Ha. No.

In June she was again asked about same-sex couples adopting and she said she still opposed it because of “her faith.”

“My faith at the same time calls me to be compassionate and what I have always believed is that what has to be paramount is what is the best interest of the child,” she told The Reporter Newspapers.

But what does that mean, “best interest of the child?” Surely Handel can be more specific?

“The best interest of the child. Period, end of paragraph,” she said. “That’s not for you to decide. That’s not for me to decide. It’s for the child advocates to decide, whether that be the court or the child’s guardian. The child’s best interest must be paramount.”

Got it. The best interest of the child is some impossible to define thing that only “The Child Advocates” (which sounds like a group from the Handmaid’s Tale) can dictate.

Well, I’ll tell you what. I sure as hell am an advocate for my child, and I don’t take kindly to anyone claiming that my wife and I are unfit parents. I especially loathe the fact that Handel is joining the anti-LGBT scum that is creeping across D.C. It’s hard not to feel hopeless. To look at the anti-LGBT backlash across the country and feel exhausted and want to give up. Or just ignore the news and watch nothing but RuPaul’s Drag Race (everything in moderation, dears). But then I look up and see a gay Ferris wheel shining in the night sky and my son in the back seat declaring that “today was one of the funnest days of my life.” And I know that love will win. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, and oh, it’s going to hurt sometimes.

But love will win. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

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Don’t pick and choose doctrine Editor’s note: this Facebook posting got BYU-Idaho adjucnt professor fired for refusing to remove it.

BY RUTHIE ROBERTSON

In honor of LGBT Pride Month, I thought I would reveal some things in the name of authenticity. I’m currently a member of the LDS Church.

This organization has openly and forcefully opposed samesex relationships and legalized same-sex marriage. They pushed members in California to fight against Prop 8, and had a policy claiming that same-sex relationships were a sin and discouraged individuals from participating in them.

In the past, the Church was a facilitator for adoptions.

They ended this part of the organization to avoid having to deal with adoption requests from same-sex couples.

In November 2015, they took their stance further by labeling same-sex couples in the Church as apostates, meaning those found in these relationships would have a disciplinary hearing to determine their membership status; they can either end their engagements in this sinful life, or be excommunicated. The policy also prevents their children from joining the Church until they are 18, with the condition that they disavow their parent’s life style.

For an organization that places so much importance on the family unit, this policy sure seems to be attacking a form of that unit. Most Christian faiths label homosexuality as a sin based on archaic writings. A few hateful verses in the Old Testament have

led to hundreds of years of prejudice, hatred, violence, and pain.

If we’re going to follow the Old Testament, and use it to justify a hateful stance, there are several other things we need to start condemning and punishing. Leviticus 19:19 tells us we can’t wear clothing of two kinds of material… so, basically every clothing item ever has to be burned. The next time you see someone wearing clothes (which is always… so, you’re welcome for the opportunity to show your spiritual superiority), check the tag to see the materials it’s made from. If it’s more than one, tell them they should desire to walk around naked rather than wear clothing made of more than one material!

Women, in Leviticus 15, we learn that God purposely made us unclean. When we menstruate, we are unclean for those 7 days. Oh, and anyone or anything that touches us during that time is unclean as well. You aren’t allowed to go to church at that time because you’ll corrupt everything there with your blood flow.

Oh, and you know how God also gave us the ability to grow a human inside of us? Well, after a woman has a child, she has a period of impurity and cannot be touched.

If it’s a boy, she’s unclean for 40 days. If it’s a girl, she’s unclean for 80 days.

As a female, you also are not allowed to read from the scriptures (wait… how am I supposed to know about my impurity rituals then?! I need to know how to make myself pure after my period!..too

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

bad). You also cannot preach in a church (can I use this excuse next time I’m asked to speak in church?)

None of this is archaic, sexist, or totally illogical at all though, right? God commanded these things, so we need to make sure we make these into policies as well!

What I’m trying convey is that we like to pick and choose from the scriptures, and if we choose to use the Old Testament as a defense for condemning homosexuality… there’s a whole lot more we need to be condemning as well.

The Book of Mormon is supposed to be the keystone of the Church, right? It never once mentions homosexuality. What is does mention is that God disposed the practice of polygamy, and the Nephites are brought to repentance for practicing it…. yet, Joseph Smith said God commanded him to practice it.

We can’t keep picking and choosing what kind of God we worship, and we can’t keep picking and choosing which commandments of his are to be enforced or not.

This is my official announcement and declaration that I believe heterosexuality and homosexuality are both natural and neither is sinful. I will never support the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin” because that “sin” is part of who that person is. Homosexuality and transgenderism are not sins; if God made us, and those are part of who we are then God created that as well.

I realize that my views counter the current day policies of the LDS Church, but I hope that over time the Church will come to see the harm these policies have. Church History shows that the Church has rescinded policies before that weren’t doctrinal, and that weren’t inspired by the Lord. I hope that this will someday apply to the stance on the LGBT community.

I will always and forever stand up for the equality of the LGBT community.

Sexuality and gender are not binary, they are on a spectrum and that’s how we were made.

Stand up for humanity, love people because of who they are... not despite who they are. Trump can break the tradition of June being LGBT pride month, but I’m still going to celebrate it.. this month and every month to follow. #LGBTPrideMonth Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

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wear red to stand OUT offcial shirts at qmart.gaysaltlake.com

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28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

PET ISSUE

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

We love our pets and our pets love us. What better way to show that love than to spread your joy through your favorite magazine?

Casie and Kirsten with Cooper, Zoie and Mac Here is our family picture from our wedding on 7-1-17. I met Casie in Denver seven years ago for Denver Pride. We happened to have mutual friends that were there and played matchmaker and seven years later we got married on our seventh anniversary. We have Moved into five houses over the seven years and created our fur baby family one Toy Yorkie at a time. We love them all so much and couldn’t imagine life without them. We loved having them as part of our wedding ceremony. I think they had the best reaction from the guests and there were so many kids that wanted to play with them during the reception. From Left to Right: Casie (the bride) holding Cooper, Zoie, Kirsten (the other bride) and Mac. This is the new Thomas Family!

Larry Herndon and Kumar Kumar’s beard used to be brown, and so did mine. I know he looks like an angel dog — so cute. But he’s definitely no angel.

Chad Nielsen with Abigail and Oliver

Chris Hymas and Winston Winston was homeless, and I needed a friend.

We’re a match, but his face says otherwise.

My name is Chad and I’m an ICU Nurse currently in grad school for Anesthesia at Westminster College. These are my fur babies: Abigail (tan, 4 years old) and Oliver (brown, 10 years old). I rescued Abby when she was 4 months old, and Oliver when he was 8.5 years old.

Photo Cred to Julie Johnson Hilliard.

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

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30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

our pets

Angie Hall and T’wanda We rescued T’wanda from the Humane Society two years ago. She was very hyper, jumping up and down and barking every time we walked by. So we took her outside and played with her, she covered us in kisses and we ended up taking her home. Since then, she has chewed up two couches, unstuffed multiple dog toys and is constantly chewing on something, but we love her to death and wouldn’t know what to do without her.

Kara Cope and Rose My best friend Rose found me via Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue six years ago at 6.5 years young. She taught me how to mend trust and love unconditionally. She enjoys doing outreach to educate folks about these Gentle Giants. She has the biggest heart in the world. Big love.

Will Carlson and Harvey Harvey is the best dog I’ve ever had. He’s a playful, gentle giant and he has great taste in the men he flirts with in the park.

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

JP Lumapas and Timmy Timmy and I met in 2014. He used to be only 4 pounds but with love and table scraps he is now a hefty 8lbs which garnered him the nickname Timmy the Tank. He is very protective of his daddy and is specially weary of men... which is not good for daddy’s love life. The funniest thing he does is he barks on mute sometimes.

Jule Marine and Beau We were on the list at Rescue Rovers for this Black Labrador. We were passed over because we were too old and they wanted someone with young kids ( in spite of the fact we have several grand kids ). Then the couple who got him caved because they discovered they were pregnant and we got him by default. Karma.

Jurnee Clark and Jack Hi, I’m Jurnee Clark and here’s my entry for the pet contest. I adopted my dog Jack almost a year ago at NKUT (No Kill Utah, an initiative of Best Friends Animal Society). He helps me with my depression and anxiety and I love his quirky, funny personality.

Dean Anesi and Jeeves Mr. Jeeves decided he didn’t want to be feral, and he’s been the junior designer and client greeter at The Urban Garden Company ever since.

He loves to sleep under the heat of the drawing lamp, and he’s been known to add details to the landscape plans when he’s bored.

START TRAINING NOW BECAUSE THIS IS ONE BEER YOU’LL HAVE TO EARN!

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | OUR PETS

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

Carlos Barbagelata and Zeke

I’m Carlos and this is Zeke. He’s a 2.5-year-old Alaskan Klee Kai (aka Mini Husky). I got him when he was 4 months old and it’s been an amazing ride. I love him because he’s silly and he’s always here for me. And I think he loves me cause we go on walks everyday and I give him tons of treats and belly rubs.

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Michael Deaton and Alli This is my lovely little princess Alli.

She is the best snuggle buddy anyone could ever ask for. This little girl is a world traveler, she’s been to seven countries in Europe and even has her own passport. Her favorite spot is in Liesing (Lesachtal Valley) Austria where she loved running through the grassy fields and getting love from all the locals. She’s the best.

Everything from Angels to Zen

Tyson Chase, Jared, Marlo, Dalilah Jared was introduced to Marlo and Dalilah several months ago. He’s shown them so much love. Being a “step-dad” to two rascals isn’t always easy but we are a family filled with love, many random puppy kisses, and great memories.

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OUR PETS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

It’s never too late.

You can learn to swim

Rich Dale and Kal My dog, Kal! We met at the Humane Society.

Once we saw each other, we knew it was meant to be.

Adult Learn to Swim program

promoted and funded by the US Masters Swimming and Swimming Saves Lives Foundation.

Six-week program offered at Fairmont Aquatics Center, 1044 Sugarmont Dr.

Sign up today: quacquac.org/adult-learn-to-swim.html

Tiffany Pusatello and Sariah

USMS Team. Adult Learn to Swim Tues & Thurs 7–8p, Sun 11a–12p Drop-ins welcome (say QUAC)!

QUAC day admission $5, $30/mo.

This is Sariah. We met in 2004 and lived with my best friend until 2007 when she moved in with me. She had the loudest most soothing purr, lovingly tolerated my partner and hated pretty much anyone else. She passed away 7/5/17.

Jesse Dolce and Toby This is Jesse Dolcé and his dog-to-be (Toby). Jesse never leaves home without his wiener. Here they are doing one of their favorite things — kayaking together.

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

ANNUAL EVENTS

Tony’s Gay Agenda

BY TONY HOBDAY

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

Pride(ful) festivities are still in full swing in Ogden, Farmington, Torrey and Brian Head … just checking if you’re paying attention. Too soon though?

The Rose is going full frontal yet again on “fake” anatomy … still paying attention? Resident companies explore fake news, mass hysteria and apocalyptic events, much like Trump’s inauguration. Also, Betty White and Bea Arthur will reprise their roles of Chicken Little and Turkey Lurkey. Too soon?

Season 9 contestants of RuPaul’s Drag Race wage war on the catwalk. Find out who slaughters whom among a few of the following: Isanka Trump, Nancy Boi Peeloosely, Betshe DeBlows and Barren Von Tramp … too soon?

What can anyone say about Bob and Joan, other than the gays love their cat fights, pill hats, alcoholism, stardom and blowin’ in the wind. Hmm! I might have confused some people.

5 6

SATURDAY — OGDEN PRIDE

14

Ogden Amphitheater, 343 E 25th St, Ogden, 12-8pm. Free, ogdenpride.org

MONDAY — WAR ON THE CATWALK

SUNDAY — Q DAY AT LAGOON

Capitol Theatre, 50 W 200 South, 8pm. Tickets $21.50160.50, artsaltlake.org

Lagoon Amusement Park, Canyon Pavilion, 375 Lagoon Dr, Farmington, 11am-10pm.

Discount coupons available at Cahoots, Club Try-Angles, Off Trax Cafe and JAM.

11

FRIDAY — WOMEN’S REDROCK MUSIC FEST

Robber’s Roost, 185 W Main St, Torrey, hours vary through Saturday. Tickets $40/Fri., $50/Sat.

26

SATURDAY — ROSE EXPOSED...

THE SKY IS FALLING

Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W 300 South, 8pm. Tickets $15, artsaltlake.org

CONCERTS Here’s exciting news: bisexual punker Billie Joe Armstrong; electro poppers Andy Fletcher, Martin Gore and Dave Grahan; and the charismatic Harvey Milk grace Utah stages this August. Woohoo! Too soon?

7 23 26

MONDAY — GREEN DAY

USANA Amphitheatre, 5150 Upper Ridge Rd, WVC, 7pm. Tickets $30-89.50, smithstix.com

WEDNESDAY — DEPECHE MODE

USANA Amphitheatre, 5150 Upper Ridge Rd, WVC, 7:30pm. Tickets $35-140, smithstix.com

Snow Park Lodge Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr S, Park City, 7pm. Tickets $44-79, ecclescenter.org

The Party includes a performance of “Saturday’s Voyeur” as well as food and drinks, including a specialty voyeur cocktail (from what I understand you take it outside and watch the performance through a window). Fun! Rose Exposed should take a lesson.

5

WEDNESDAY — JOAN OSBORNE SINGS THE SONGS OF BOB DYLAN

Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, 8pm, through Saturday. Tickets $23-29, egyptiantheatrecompany.com

THEATRE Here’s a quiz: The Book of Mormon spreads ______ : A) peanut butter B) legs C) venereal disease D) the Good Word E) B & C. If you picked D or E then your career is Broadway Bound!

Neil Simon and the Apostles would be so proud.

1

WEDNESDAY — THE BOOK OF MORMON

Eccles Theater, Delta Hall, 131 S Main St, times vary, through Aug. 20. Tickets $35-185, artsaltlake.org

16

WEDNESDAY — BROADWAY BOUND!

Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, times vary, through Aug. 20. Tickets $15-25, egyptiantheatrecompany.com

UPCOMING EVENTS

& AE

SUNDAY — SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS

FUNDRAISERS

24

SATURDAY — SLAC’S THE PARTY

Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W 500 North, 5:30pm.

Tickets $100, saltlakeactingcompany.org

Sep. 5, FOSTER THE PEOPLE, smithstix.com Sep. 22, PARAMORE, smithstix.com Sep. 30, EQUALITY UTAH ALLIES DINNER, equalityutah.org Nov. 4, ANI DIFRANCO, artsaltlake.org April 11-17, 2018, HAMILTON, artsaltlake.org

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

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City, and it remains increasingly relevant.

Progress has been made, but in current political context it can seem to retrograde. The fight to increase community awareness, to stand up for dignity, justice and kindness, and to return to our common humanity, cannot be understated.

EVENT INFO

Andrew Garfield may be no angel in new stage-to-screen of ‘Angels in America’ The Obert C. & Grace A. Tanner Humanities Center at the University of Utah began presenting National Theatre Live in partnership with Salt Lake Film Society to local audiences in 2011. New stage productions featuring the best playwrights, directors and actors are filmed live from London in high definition, then

broadcast to cinemas as encore screenings around the world.

In August, the Center will host double encore screenings of Tony Kushner’s new staging of the multi-award winning twopart play Angels In America, parts 1 and 2. For obvious reasons, this play means a great deal to many here in Salt Lake

$10 Student/Military (ID required) $17 Red Carpet Club/Senior (52+) $20 General Admission To purchase tickets, visit thc.utah.edu.

Screenings will be held at Salt Lake Film Society’s Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway, Salt Lake City.

PART 1: MILLENNIUM APPROACHES Saturday, Aug. 19, noon (doors open at 11 a.m.)

Tuesday, Aug. 22, 7 p.m.

PART 2: PERESTROIKA Saturday, Aug. 26, noon (doors open at 11 a.m.)

Tuesday, Aug. 29, 7 p.m.

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

food & drink

Pooch-friendly restaurant patios The Salt Lake County Health Department has reminded restaurants that they must have special permission to allow pets on their outdoor patios.

“The board changed the regulation to allow dogs in certain, controlled situations because we’d heard from residents and restaurant owners that they wanted that option available to them,” said Jeff Oaks, SLCoHD food protection bureau manager. “We support businesses that make this choice, and our goal is to ensure they do so with cleanliness and safety in mind.”

To receive “paws on the patio” approval, dog-friendly food-service businesses need to submit a special processes safety plan, pay an application fee of $315, and agree to a few simple rules: • Establishment must post signs that notify patrons that dogs may be on the premises • The patio must have an outdoor entrance so dogs don’t have to go through an interior dining area, and there must be self-closing doors between the patio and interior area • The patio must be cleaned with animal-friendly chemicals at the beginning of each shift, or every six hours if the business does not have defined shifts

• Any dog bathroom “accidents” must be cleaned and the area sanitized within five minutes • Wait staff and other restaurant food-handlers may not touch any dog • Dogs must remain on leash, and must have collars with current license and rabies tag • Dogs may not be on tables or chairs • Dogs should be given water in a dispos-

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FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

positive thoughts

I’m Still Here

Is it enough to have merely survived the epidemic?

BY JEFF BERRY

The year

1998 was significant for me – I had lost my mother in June after a long struggle with breast cancer, and I saw the end of a wonderful 16-year relationship that same year. I also met a man who would change my life forever.

I met Steven at Folsom Street Fair in September 1998, and he came into my life at a pivotal time of loss and transformation. He was Canadian and lived in Amsterdam, and we began what some might call the ultimate long-distance relationship. He visited me several times here in the States, and I went to visit him in Amsterdam in the spring of 1999.

Steven was full of life, humor and gregariousness. He helped me come into my own and find my own path, and for that

I will always be truly grateful. But Steven had his own demons, and would sometimes grow dark and moody. We eventually broke up after less than a year together, but we somehow remained friends and stayed in touch with each other through social media, and would always remember to email each other on our birthdays. But this year he didn’t respond when I emailed him in March, which was unlike him, so I followed up again a few weeks later thinking that maybe he had never received my email. The next day I got the news from his friend Gareth that his body was found in his apartment, after neighbors became worried and contacted authorities.

It seems that Steven had lost the will to live after losing his partner and love of his life, Robbie, to cancer a few years ago. He could no longer ride his beloved horses or teach yoga at a local AIDS organization due to his own health issues, and he ended up cutting himself off from all of his friends and decided to stop taking his HIV meds.

I wish I could have been there with him to talk him through whatever he was going through. I was hoping to see Steven once more when I went to Amsterdam next year

for the International AIDS Conference. But it wasn’t meant to be, and now he’s gone.

It makes me wonder if it is enough to have just survived the epidemic. What is it after all these years that makes us give up, and decide that life is no longer worth living? How can we reach out to each other to offer the support and guidance that’s needed for so many HIV long-term survivors living in isolation, financial uncertainty, or mounting health issues? How do we create resilience, and teach that resilience to others. Is there such a thing as my friend Louis called, “resilience fatigue?”

My heart is broken, but I will push forward. If you have a Steven in your life, reach out to him or her. Tell them that they are not alone, and that they have a place in this life no matter how bleak things may look. We always have an opportunity to reinvent our lives, and find a purpose for living, a reason to say, “I’m still here.” Q Jeff Berry is the editor of Positively Aware magazine, Director of Publications for TPAN, and a member of the National Working Group of The Reunion Project for HIV long-term survivors. Follow Jeff on Twitter @paeditor. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body and Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.

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A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

gay writes

BY KED KIRKHAM

COMING SOUTH, COOLER Clouds, drifting south, cooler, bank upon the warm up-drafting air.

They collide, tumble over one another, break apart, bubble and rise again.

They pass beyond the Wasatch range.

These are not our water carriers, they seek out some other place, some other people.

We wipe our brows and watch them fly; as earthbound man always has.

And as we always have, We think, what can we do? who can we blame? where can we beg a reprieve.

As in childhood we believe the heavens are at our beckoning, or we at their mercy.

But these are merely clouds coming south, cooler.

HEAT IN SUMMER Heat in summer; Poker hot Glowing from the fire New moon.

Gibbous; Resting On the edge of darkness.

The western edge Above the black Below the ether.

Inky virgae, Of summer, Water, Thinned to a vapor; A shadow, A trace, A victim Of heat In summer.

THE DRY SEASON It is the dry season Mud edges the creek Cottonwood down drifts Catching in the webs

Intended for gnats And Box Elder bugs Brick red Undulating It is the dry season It is the spider season Crows are fledging Coaxed and chastised From branches above and below As are clutches of mallards And Canada geese Scattered to scurry Ahead or behind Parents anxious to move on It is the dry season It is the fire season Life can change quickly in this season

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Bending at last, Burdened with weight Of the strangling morning glory.

Stalks of rusting seed spears Expose the Curly Dock, Whose leaves have withered, Hanging yellow, hidden In Reed Grass Coming into its own, Waving like an anthem, Humming with the season’s flies.

Lichen fractures And breaks, Crunching beneath the step; No trail has developed to avoid them.

Thistle, silver talons At ready To dissuade the cattle, Cannot protect the flower, Not yet formed, From the moth and the wasp, or the arid wind Bearing the heat.

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40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER: HINT: FESTIVAL

HEEDLESS ANTHEM

____ _____ _____

word search FIND THE WORDS IN THE PUZZLE BELOW ABOUT THIS MONTH’S THEME. WORDS CAN BE SIDE-TO-SIDE, TOP TO BOTTOM, LEFT TO RIGHT, RIGHT TO LEFT, (https://plus.google.com/115671742810361589850/?rel=author) BOTTOM TO TOP. THEME: Brain Games (/games/) › Word Search (/games/word-search/) › Heels

DAMN THESE HEELS

Heels

DREAM DEAD CHAVELA PUSHING BEHIND SORDID

cryptogram

A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTITUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS! THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: S=V

SZ QO LNNB LAO OEOWVT XEF DSLWSNJ QO WOIOWDOF LN MNKEYO NE NEO ZJXV DXWSXLSNE SE NEO YSLT XEF LKWEOF SL NE LANIO QAN IOOB LN FOILWNT NKW WSVALI, QO’F UO WKEESEV LAO QNWJF LNHNWWNQ XEF QO’F XJJ AXDO VNWVONKI EOQ AXSWILTJOI LN UNNL.

__ __ ____ ___ ______ ___ _______ __ ________ __ ______ __ ___ ____ _________ __ ___ ____ ___ ______ __ __ _____ ___ ____ __ _______ ___

QUEEN ANIMALS LANGUAGE AFTER WEDDING BRUTAL

______, __’_ _______ ___ _____ ________ ___ __’_ ___ ____ ________ ___ __________ __ ____.

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 56

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | BOOK REVIEW

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

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Last year was a particularly rough one.

Every time you open a newspaper or turned on the computer or TV, it seemed as though someone – a Hollywood actor, singer, or stage performer you liked – had died. Even now, whether it was six months, a year or, as in “Somebody to Love”

by Matt Richards & Mark Langthorne, more than a decade, you still miss them.

Farrokh Bulsara was born in India in the fall of 1946 to Parsee followers of the prophet Zoroaster, facts he tried to hide it as a young man. For reasons he didn’t belabor, Bulsara claimed that he was “Persian” and seldom discussed his relatively privileged childhood. He even changed his name to Freddie.

Known as a shy boy and famously ashamed of his prominent front teeth, Freddie was nevertheless so in love with music that he helped form his first band in 1958, in part to “impress the girls.” As soon as he was old enough, he moved to London, where he became a hanger-on for two popular local bands, one of which eventually hired him as a lead singer. Freddie, say the authors, loved to put on a show.

At around this time, he also fell deeply in love with a woman, though he “was struggling to come to terms with whether he was straight, gay or bisexual.”

Indeed, despite social mores and legalities of the time, he was also undoubtedly sleeping with men, but he “had no intention of coming out… even if in truth he had felt able to.”

By mid-1970, Freddie changed his surname, while his latest band changed its name to Queen; both began attracting attention in the U.K. Meanwhile, Mercury fell in love with someone whom he considered his “common-law wife.” She, too, seemed to have no idea that he slept with men, which might not have mattered much anyhow: Mercury had led a “hedonistic” life for years and that was just Freddie being Freddie.

But then, possibly some time in 1982, he was infected with the HIV virus…

At nearly 400 pages, sans notes, “Somebody to Love” is one of those books that might have been enhanced by being shortened by a third.

Authors Matt Richards & Mark Langthorne did an exhaustive job with the biography of Queen front man, Freddie Mercury, but that’s not all: this is also a surprising biography of the AIDS epidemic, beginning more than a century ago. That’s often imagined, since exact circumstances are unknown but, while it makes for an fascinating tale, it stretches too slowly, gets too breathy, and loses its punch. Even Mercury’s career seemed a mess here; readers get names and dates in a bounce-around narrative on a story-loop.

There’s merit in this book – early sections on the beginning of AIDS and the beginning and end of Mercury’s life are all stellar – but much of the middle part is pretty ho-hum. In the end, for fans, ‘Somebody to Love” may still be worth a try. Others may find this book to be a rough one. Q

ADVICE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

mr. manners

Animal decisions

BY ROCK MAGEN

I am a

dog person. As a child, my family had dogs. The original plan was to only have one, but you know that once you start with a single pet, it grows into more.

I am happy to report that we never went beyond owning two dogs, but that was because we did a lot of research to determine which breeds and personalities were best for our family. I don’t have a dog now, mainly because I travel a lot, but I am accustomed to browsing the KSL.com classifieds to see what kind of dogs are out there ready to be adopted.

There are multiple key elements involved with responsible pet ownership. My personal experience is with dogs, but I still feel the responsibilities are universal regardless of the animal you decide to adopt. It all begins with research. As cute as that puppy may be in the KSL ad, you need to avoid impulsive decisions when selecting a pet and make sure that you select a pet which is suited to your home and lifestyle. Owning a pet is a commitment for the whole life of the animal, and that includes providing appropriate exercise and mental stimulation while taking the time to socialize and train your pet. If you adopt an animal and don’t take care of it, that is defined as neglect; and in some states, that is a criminal offense.

I have spoken on multiple occasions about investments and finance, and owning a pet is not excluded from those discussions. Not unlike buying a home, pet ownership requires

an investment of time and money. Large animals eat a lot of food, and having to buy bulk bags of dog food on a regular basis can quickly add up to a large expense. In addition to the normal day-to-day care, you also need to make sure your pet receives preventive health care (vaccinations, parasite control, etc.), as well as care for any illnesses or injuries. The last thing you want to get from your pet is a case of the mange.

The last consideration to make are the rules associated with pet ownership. Many neighborhoods have local ordinances, including licensing, leash requirements and noise control. No one likes it when the neighbor’s dog escapes and causes havoc by destroying beautifully manicured flowerbeds. It’s even worse when no one knows whose dog is causing the problem. That is easily solved by making sure your pet is properly identified (i.e., tags, microchips, etc.) and keeping its registration up to date. And this goes without saying: clean up after your pet! No one, and I repeat, no one enjoys discovering they have the aftermath of your pet stuck to the bottom of their shoe.

Owning a pet is extremely rewarding but comes with very important responsibilities. I miss having a constant companion to come home to and find snuggled up on the couch.

Perhaps one day the world will stop calling me to explore, and I too can join the ranks of pet owners. Until then, I’ll keep looking at all the puppies online. Q

Hell of a Choice ACROSS 1 Opponent of Caesar 5 Position in Bernstein’s orchestra 10 Deep pink 14 Exotica director Egoyan 15 Like bell-bottom jeans 16 Jannings of old films 17 Petty of Orange Is the New Black 18 Patronize, as a Star Canyon restaurant 19 Cucumber wasted on a hamburger?

20 Portrayer of Bennett, the one-time companion of 38-Across 23 Butts 24 Prefix with European 25 Hit from Cats 28 S&M namesake 32 Cockamamie 33 With 38-Across, movie about a gay activist who became an anti-gay minister 36 Norse race 37 Unknown degree 38 See 33-Across 41 “Get thee ___ nunnery” 42 Renege, slangily, with “out”

44 Takano and Baldwin hold them 45 Sea eagles 46 Amelia recently in the news 48 Initial phase 50 Greek city of tough guys 51 Pulled on a stallion’s strap 52 Portrayer of 38-Across 56 Favorite holiday ending 58 Rest atop 59 Stone of Easy A 62 Masseuse’s target 63 It dangles on a private 64 Songwriter Holly 65 Give some lip 66 Rendezvous request 67 Greek love

12 Hole entered by a Minuteman 13 Allen-wrench shape 21 Place for women who live together 22 Rupert Everett’s An ___ Husband 25 Chops finely 26 Lure into wrongdoing 27 Big Indians 29 One who looks at Uranus 30 “I Say a Little Prayer” singer Warwick 31 Used rubbers 33 Thespian rapper 34 “So, it’s YOU!” 35 Sweaty guys get pinned to them 39 A guy named Sharon and others 40 Queer online?

43 “Lesbians Ignite” and DOWN such 1 James Dean’s East of 45 Androgynous Eden role 47 It swallows plastic 2 The whole shebang and spits cash 3 Scroll at Beth Chayim 49 Fabric suffix Chadashim 53 West ___ Story 4 “O” of Sapho 54 Lavish party 5 Smooth 55 Knock around 6 Enjoys phone sex 7 Firm member (abbr.) 56 “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” to Mick Jagger 8 Baghdad resident 57 Zenith rival 9 Equatorially ample 10 Clown accessory for 60 Noted Warhol subject Cam Tucker 11 Cut 61 Pirate interjections

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Hard

5 4 7

3

6 4 9 3 2 4 2 8

7 2 8 1 5 2 9 6 1 5 9 4 7 3 1

6 7

4 6 5

5

4

8 7 5

1 4 2 5 6 7 9

9

3 1 5

4 1 5 4 7

3 6

2 2 8 1 8 9 3 2 6 4 3 4 3 1 8 7 2 7 6 1 6 1 8 4 9 5 3 9 9 3 8 9 1 7 5 6 5 9 6 3 8 4 2 3 9 5 7 2 3 8 1 5 8 9 7 8 2 3 9 5 3 8 4 2 7 8 9 5 6

$0* cat adoptions

5 8 6

AUGUST 1 – 31

*Applies to cats four months and older

2 Best Friends Pet Adoption Center 2005 South 1100 East, Salt Lake City, Utah Monday – Saturday, 11 am – 7 pm Sunday, 11 am – 4 pm

bestfriendsutah.org

q scopes AUGUST

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

Carefully forge an alliance with someone with a playful agenda.

There is so much fun to be had by challenging social norms, but be aware of who might be offended. While actions may not seem harmful, there is a line that that should never be crossed. In the interest of education, have fun but avoid trouble.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Fatigue is building and the reason for it seems clear.

However, don’t be quick to jump to a conclusion. There could be an underlying source of agitation that is not being considered. A combination of factors is to blame. Simplify and enjoy pleasures as a way of creating the sense of delight you crave.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 It might be time to double dip into an activity that has opened your mind. Lightning can strike twice, but should never be expected. No matter what happens, let the memory of the first time be the one that lingers. Find

comfort in a friend and let go of expectations that are creating irritation

is not the main focus, there is not much point in continuing.

CANCER June 21–July 22 There is no need to get involved in a serious relationship with someone you don’t know well.

A little separation is a good way to clear the air. Try finding a pattern and stick with what is tried and true. While the world is seemingly dysfunctional right now, it isn’t broken. Fix life one task at a time.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Put aside things that are distracting, even compelling and joyous ones. A matter of perception has left you seeing the world in a dark light, and the time for adjustment will be difficult.

When the reset has been accomplished, the world will seem both new and old at the same time. Enjoy it, Libra!

LEO July 23–August 22 Let go of someone who is making you feel bad. The source of harm is also the cure, and the cycle must end. Dump this person immediately. Slip out of trouble and into a good state of mind by simply working on you. The key is avoiding the bad behavior that you’ve been subjected to. Be the better person.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 A friend comes asking for help, and you are very much ready to oblige. While the request may seem odd, there is much to be gained by getting involved. Giving is better because the return on emotional investment can be abundant. Follow through and listen to what is really being asked of you. If fun

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Start a relationship with someone who aligns with your sympathetic nature and be the best you can be. A co-worker is bound to show off a skill that impresses, and this could very well pave the way to finding answers you need. Enjoy being a mentor and teaching a few of the tricks you do best.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

An old habit could soon die.

Let go of an attitude that has not served you well and hope for better relationships. This could be a turning point in your development, no matter how old you may be. Someone you work with will suddenly show signs of interest. Don’t be afraid to show yourself off.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 The ball is in your court, and a friend is waiting on you to decide the nature of your relationship. The problem is that you simply don’t want to play. Take a time out. Those who care will be there when you get back. Don’t give into demands, but love on your own terms. Let go of drama, and rest..

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 The world is a crazy circus. It might be time to create your own act and show the world what you really want. Your family is bound to be putting on the pressure but don’t overlook their willingness to show support. Glory comes with risks, so be willing to take a chance and redefine yourself.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Letting go of something is difficult. A person or element has disappeared but life has to go on.

Figure out what you really want and take control. There could be a few surprises in store in the shape of a friendly encounter. Spend time with the people who matter and enjoy the rest of the summer. Q

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

Pet of the Month

Off-Leash Dog Parks

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

magazine qsaltlake.com

MEMORY GROVE OFF LEASH ➋ AREA AT FREEDOM TRAIL COTTONWOOD PARK ➏ ➑ 1580 W 300 N

PIONEER PARK ➏

375 N CANYON RD

➎ LINDSEY GARDENS DOG PARK 9TH AVE AND M STREET

380 S 300 W

JORDAN DOG PARK ➏ 1060 S 900 W

➌ HERMAN FRANKS PARK 750 E 1300 S

PARLEY’S NATURE PRESERVE ➊ (TANNER PARK) 2740 S 2700 E

MILLRACE OFF-LEASH DOG PARK ➐ 1200 W 5400 S

WEST JORDAN OFF-LEASH ➍ DOG PARK

TYPICAL DOG PARK RULES • Current license and rabies tag • Human companions clean up waste • Damage to landscape prohibited • Aggressive dogs prohibited • No chasing or harassing wildlife • Swimming in authorized areas only • Dogs under 4 months prohibited • Dogs off leash in posted areas only

5982 W NEW BINGHAM HWY

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OGDEN CITY DOG PARK 2450 SOUTH A ST, OGDEN

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Thackery Binx 12 years old Neutered male Domestic medium hair, flame/cream point

Thackery Binx is a relaxed and snuggly cat who has made the staff and volunteers fall in love with him. He spends his days lounging around and he really just wants a home where he can relax and spend time with his human. He has done well with other cats, but we are not sure about dogs. Thackery has to be on special food to make sure he does not get urinary crystals, but other than that he is perfectly healthy. If someone is looking for a gentle, loving kitty, Thackery Binx is the one.

For more information, go to Best Friends Animal Society — Utah, 2005 S 1100 East, or call 801-574-2454 or go to bestfriendsutah.org

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups ALCOHOL & DRUG

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org Gay and Lesbianspecific meetings: Sundays 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mondays 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tuesday 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wednesday 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Friday 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon crystalmeth.org Thursday 1:30p Unity In Sobriety, UPC, 255 E 400 S BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com

Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com Vest Pocket Business Coalition  vestpocket.org 801-596-8977 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Northern Utah HIV/ AIDS Project Walk-Ins Tues Noon–5pm 536 24th St, Ste 2B, Ogden 801-393-4153 Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Fridays, 6pm at Utah Pride Ctr, 255 E 400 S Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

HOMELESS SVCS

Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Young Men’s Transition Home 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6–7:30pm Utah Pride Center. 255 East and 400 South in Salt Lake City.

POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E

801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at UPC

Sage Utah  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org Weekly dances every other Thurs 7p at UPC 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/ utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  thecenter@ utahpridecenter.org 255 E 400 S 801-539-8800

SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/ 1to5ClubUtah Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mondays  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM meets 4th Saturdays  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8 Get Outside Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah  outreachutah.org Ogden, 3350 Harrison, 2nd, 4th Weds, 4-6pm Logan, 596 E 900 N — Fri, 4:30-7:30pm qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Rainbow Classic Car Don R. Austin 801-485-9225

SPORTS

Lambda Hiking Club  gayhike.org Pride Community Softball League  prideleague.com  pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League  qkickball.com Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall.

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

sportsofutah Venture Out Utah  fb.me/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah YOUTH/COLLEGE

Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org Salt Lake Community College Equality Involvement Club 8 facebook.com/slcc. equality University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 Univ. of Utah Queer Student Union utahqsu@gmail.com USGA at BYU  byuusga.wordpress.com  fb.co/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  discord.me/ spectrumatuvu  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State Univ Faculty/Staff GayStraight Alliance  organizations.weber. edu/fsgsa  fsgsa@weber.edu Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 3885 W Campus Dr, Student Services Ctr, Suite 154 Dept. 2125 801-626-7271

CRYPTOGRAM: IF WE TOOK THE ENERGY AND VITRIOL WE RESERVED TO POUNCE ON ONE FLAG VARIATION IN ONE CITY AND TURNED IT ON THOSE WHO

ANAGRAM: DAMN THESE HEELS SEEK TO DESTROY OUR RIGHTS, WE’D BE RUNNING THE WORLD TOMORROW AND WE’D ALL HAVE GORGEOUS NEW HAIRSTYLES TO BOOT.

3 8 5 9 1 4 2 6 7 4 2 3 6 1 5 9 7 8

5 1 6 7 8 9 4 3 2

9 8 7 4 2 3 6 5 1

8 3 4 1 2 6 5 7 9 7 6 9 3 5 2 8 1 4

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2 9 1 5 6 8 3 4 7 6 8 5 9 2 1 3 4 7 6 5 8

6 3 4 1 9 7 2 8 5 4 9 1 6 7 3 5 8 2 9 1 4

8 7 5 2 3 4 1 6 9 3 2 7 5 4 8 6 9 1 7 3 2

9 7 3 5 6 8 2 1 4

4 5 2 9 1 3 7 8 6

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4 8 3 1 5 9 7 2 6 1 3 4 8 5 9 4 7 2 3 6 1

6 9 2 4 7 8 5 3 1 8 7 9 4 6 2 3 5 1 8 9 7

5 1 7 6 3 2 8 9 4 2 5 6 1 3 7 9 6 8 2 5 4

6 9 3 2 1 7 5 4 8 3 4 8 7 2 1 9 6 5

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3 7 4 1 8 6 9 2 5 9 7 4 3 1 6 2 5 8

9 2 1 5 4 3 7 8 6 8 6 5 2 9 7 1 4 3

5 8 6 7 2 9 4 1 3 2 3 1 5 8 4 6 7 9

Day, Sunday, Aug. 6, after the group photoshoot at 4 p.m.

7 1 9 2 6 8 3 4 5

calling bingofor prizes at the Canyons Pavilion at Q Lagoon

4 6 2 7 5 3 8 9 1

Matrons of Mayhem Bingo at Lagoon Day The Matrons of Mayhem will be

QMMUNITY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

Q Lagoon Day set for Aug 6 One day each summer Utah’s queer community floods Lagoon theme park with red. This year, QSaltLake Day at Lagoon is on Sunday, Aug. 6.

The event attracts thousands of people each year who are encouraged to wear red shirts and stop by the QSaltLake pavilion — the Canyon Pavilion east of the Rocket — for a group photo at 4 p.m. and to mingle with other queers and allies. The pavilion is open the entire day and is a popular place to picnic, take a break, and to enjoy singing karaoke, hosted by sponsor DJ Kevan Floyd. The event is also sponsored by Club Try-Angles, which will open at 6 p.m. that day for an after-party and so employees can join in the festivities.

This year’s t-shirt is $15, $18 for 2X-5X, available at the pavilion. Check QSaltLake’s Facebook page for other buying opps. Park admission $9 discount coupons will be available at Cahoots (878 E. 900 S), Club Try-Angles (251 W. 900 S), Off Trax Cafe (259 W. 900 S) and JAM (751 N. 300 W).

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50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLLYWOOD

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

deep inside hollywood

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

UK’s Cucumber and Banana get American accents Russell T. Davies (Queer as Folk), the man who created the UK dramedies Cucumber and Banana (both ran on Logo in 2015), is teaming up with American TV super-producer Shonda Rhimes to bring both shows to the United States.

They’ll be folded together into one series for ABC currently known as Adult Behavior, with a pilot written by Wonder Woman scribe Allan Heinberg.

And if you missed Cucumber and Banana when they aired on Logo, you should know that the gay white male world that QAF thoroughly explored is only part of the intersecting narratives of the two series, where characters from all

corners of the LGBTQ+ world get their time to be the center of attention (think Sense 8 without the globe-trotting and supernatural mind powers). There’s no cast yet and no timeline for when the public gets a chance to see the finished product, but any queer primetime series by us and about us is something to celebrate well in advance.

Colton Haynes joins cast of ‘American Horror Story’ If you saw the comedy Rough Night, but still think you don’t know who Colton Haynes is, think again: He was the freaked out stripper in the thong. And now that you’ve made his acquaintance, you can look forward to his next job, co-starring in season 7 of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk’s American Horror Story. It’s under wraps at the

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moment, but we do know that the upcoming season centers around the aftermath of the 2016 Presidential Election, with the horror starting on the day after That Man won. (We still refuse to write out his full name and will probably never — what if a demon infects our laptop?)

Other cast members include fellow valued queer performers Billy Eichner and Sarah Paulson, as well as Scream Queens co-star Billie Lourd and returning AHS cast member Evan Peters. Now, the question remains as to how much more horrifying the fictional version of this story can get when real life feels like a slowly-unfolding apocalypse?

Come through, Ryan Murphy.

‘Every Day’ will be sort of gay The popular YA novel Every Day, from author David Levithan, is coming to the big screen. Gay filmmaker Michael Sucsy (Grey Gardens) will direct from a script from Jesse Andrews (Me and Earl and The Dying Girl). Up-and-comer Angourie Rice — who played Ryan Gosling’s precocious daughter in The Nice Guys and will earn a wider audience this summer with Spider-Man: Homecoming — will star. But it’s not the fact that a gay director is at the helm that makes this story interesting.

Every Day is a story that involves its young heroine falling in love with a supernatural entity called “A.” This entity

moves into a fresh host body, sometimes male and sometimes female, each new day.

In other words, Rice’s teenage protagonist will be getting a crash course in gender fluidity, bisexuality and speed dating all at once. We’re interested, and we hear this one will most likely move into host theaters sometime in 2018.

Chris Colfer does everything at once now It’s entirely possible that the last you heard from Chris Colfer was during the series finale of Glee. Well, guess what? The boy — OK, man; he’s 27 after all — hasn’t been sitting around waiting for his next gig. He’s been getting his life. Colfer is the author of a series of fantasy books known as The Land of Stories, a saga that spans six novels, an illustrated picture book, audiobooks and an upcoming graphic novel. Not content simply to be an actor, singer and best-selling author, he’s now signed a deal with 20th Century Fox and producer Shawn Levy to take the first of those books to the big screen. It’s called The Wishing

HOLLYWOOD | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

Spell, and it’s about twin boys who find themselves transported into a world where classic fairy tales come to life.

Colfer will not only adapt his own book into a screenplay, he’s also going to direct the movie. Feeling somewhat

less than accomplished right now? Perhaps you should.

And maybe his old boss Ryan Murphy will be asking him to collaborate one day. Q Romeo San Vicente has already heard your cucumber and banana jokes; he’s just happy to see you.

Video game another blow to gay culture A new video game, The Tearoom (radiatoryang.itch.io/ the-tearoom), is described as “a (free) historical public bathroom simulator about anxiety, police surveillance, and sucking off another dude’s gun.”

A player’s goal is to engage in sexual acts with other men, but before that, the player must wait for someone to enter, and then engage in a ritual that involves repeated periods of prolonged eye contact, all the while looking

out for the police.

The developer, Robert Yang, encountered some push back from what he calls, “The oppressive conservative gamer-surveillance complex.” His solution, “I have swapped out any pesky penises in my game for the only thing that the game industry will never moderate nor ban — guns. Now, there’s nothing wrong with guys appreciating other guys’ guns, right?” asks Yang. Q

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52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

the frivolist

6 way-gay things to get into right now

BY MIKEY ROX

One of

the best parts of my job as an LGBT lifestyle expert is discovering all the dynamic new people, places and things expected to interest the LGBT community. Some do, some don’t — I sift through A LOT of duds, in fact (like the travel-size coldsore medicine one PR hack pitched me for years because he thought it would make a great stocking stuffer at Christmastime) — but every once in a while I stumble upon a few gems to tell you about it. As such, here’s what I’m into right now — and you might be too.

1. REVRY LGBT Streaming Service You have to tip your feathered caps to Netflix, Hulu and other popular streaming services for providing (for the most part) satisfying LGBT programming options, like trans creator Jill Soloway’s award-winning Transparent over at Amazon. But now you can effectively eliminate all the hetero noise clogging up your queues and go full “queerated content” thanks to REVRY, the first dedicated LGBTQ+ digital streaming platform. Available on Apple TV, Chromecast, Roku, plus iOS and Android devices (with Pluto.tv and Amazon Fire capabilities coming soon), REVRY, which recently celebrated its first anniversary, features original content like 3030, a series about platonic black lesbian roommates living in Las Vegas; the newly added Bob the Drag Queen comedy special, Suspiciously Large Woman; as well as international

shows and movies, like the subtitled Free Fall, characterized as the German Brokeback Mountain. Spoiler alert: They bang in the woods using nature’s lube.

2. Varsity Gay League When I lived in Manhattan I was a regular on the social sports scene — both “straight” and gay leagues — playing a wide range of activities, including bowling, kickball, dodgeball, trivia and cornhole (and yaaas, competitive cornhole is totally considered a sport, queen).

When I left NYC for life in a small beach community on the Jersey Shore, however, being part of these teams was among the things I missed most. That could all change soon, though, as I was recently introduced to Varsity Gay League, which is celebrating its milestone 10th anniversary this year. VGL is the largest sports league in California with more than 8,000 members, and it has outposts in San Diego, San Francisco, Long Beach, Sacramento, Austin, Orlando and Portland, with plans to add other major cities to meet demand. I’m currently in talks with the league’s founder Will Hackner to bring VGL to my part of the world, and if you think your city might benefit from this organized homo-raderie, hit ’em up on Twitter @vglsocal.

3. OUTshine on the Sea Earlier this year I attended the 10-day OUTshine LGBT film festival in Miami — which featured some of the best LGBT

films I have ever seen (not an exaggeration; find French-Canadian film 1:54 and have a box of Kleenex handy) — and I’m pretty pumped for OUTshine on the Sea, the fest’s seven-night Eastern Caribbean Cruise (hitting Nassau, Punta Cana and St. Thomas), from February 17 to 23, 2018, aboard Celebrity Equinox. If you’re a film and cruise lover — two of my favorite things! — pack your movie-marathon sweatpants and let’s gain 10 pounds of popcorn weight on the open ocean together.

4. Hornet App If you’re fed up with all the blatant racism on your gay dating/hookup apps, take a break and zip into Hornet, a gay social-networking app oddly popular in France, Russia, Brazil, Turkey and Taiwan (you want to expand your horizons, right?), but whose user base is consistently growing here at home. Aside from finding likeminded men nearby (the app includes a GPS component just like Gindr and the gang), you can tap into and share LGBT-focused new stories on its companion website UnicornBooty.com; discover local queer hotspots around your home and when you’re traveling; and keep your social calendar lit with curated homocentric events.

5. Ascension Asbury Park After years of false starts and delayed gentrification, Asbury Park, New Jersey is now a full-fledged LGBT destination for gay men and lesbians alike. There’s no shortage of “fam”-friendly places to stay (you won’t be disappointed with a night

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FRIVOLIST | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 53

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

at the celebrated Asbury Hotel), dine (upscale Mexi-joint Barrio Costero has margies to die for), and get your swerve on (the pool at Paradise is always poppin’ after midnight on Saturdays during the summer). But if you really want to throw your weekend getaway into overdrive, swoop into town for Ascension, Aug. 4 to 6, featuring 11 high-octane events, including tea dances, beach bashes and glow parties taken to new heights by 14 DJs and thousands of prospective halfnight stands.

6. Handmade Sexy Time My boyfriend and I are adventurous, especially when it comes to our bodies and bedroom activity, and we had an arousing at-home date night with Haus of Betch’s hand-crocheted jock straps — it was like Captain America himself was calling me hither in his blue three-starred weiner basket (sorry, no photos) — and an artsand-crafts project making vibrating dildos of our own dicks with kits from Clone-

GAY WRITES

A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

A-Willy. The latter was a bit stressful because the process moved ultra-fast — we had to get and stay hard while mixing the plaster at an exact 90 degrees and cast our cocks in under three minutes! — but we shared laughs along the way, amazing sex afterward, and now we’ve got life-size replicas of our own wieners that we’ll probably just use to go fuck ourselves whenever we have a tiff. (Sorry; still no photos.) Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He splits his time between

homes in New York City and the Jersey Shore with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 270 | AUGUST 2017

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of just in the nick of time

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to driving in Queertanic is fraught with danger and excitement.

I was driving in Queertanic VI and suddenly, with absolutely no warning, the engine died, leaving me stranded right in the middle of the intersection at 1700 South and State Street during rush hour.

This latest Queertanic was a mini-van and I loved it. I could fit in it, breasticles and all. The crinolines wouldn’t even catch in the door, and there was room to carry several wigs and five other queens. I wanted another minivan, perhaps just like the one that died. I looked up several on KSL. com and prepared a list to test drive. I hate car shopping alone, so I called Moesha Montana (Momo) to come and hold my hand and reapply my makeup during the test-driving process.

First, we went to test drive a van in Salt Lake City. It looked quite nice in the photos, but in real life its mascara had run a little and the elastic in its girdle seemed a little stretched. But Momo and I climbed in and headed for the steep hill on 8th South. Before we started climbing the hill, the credit union called my cell phone and said that I was approved for the loan. I looked at Momo and squealed like a school girl, “I can buy a car today!” Then

we climbed the hill. We both noticed a nasty burning smell coming from the car, worse than a wig full of Aqua Net on fire. Not this van!

I called a car lot in Pleasant Grove that advertised “the cleanest used car I’ve ever seen.”

I told him we would be there at 5 p.m. I usually have serious reservations about going to “Happy Valley” for any reason, but I was desperate. It was Friday evening on a holiday weekend. Traffic was even more of a bitch than me on a diet. I worried that the lot would close before we could got there. Then the dealer called me and said someone had just been test driving that van, and it had gotten a flat tire, so he was taking it to the tire store and he might be late. Perfect!

We arrived at 6 p.m. The van was more beautiful than Dorothy’s ruby slippers. We went for a test drive. The van had: Power.

Grace. Good Makeup. Great Hair. A Nice Scent. And it had three sets of color-coordinated floor mats. The carpet indeed matched the drapes!

Momo stepped away from the van, so that she could whisper to me, “Get this car.” At 6:30 we began the paperwork.

Then I realized that I needed to go to the credit union to get the money. Luckily, there was a branch just a mile from the dealer. We rushed out of

the dealership, and drove into the blinding sunset toward the bank. Upon arriving, I practically ran into the bank. It was a sight that should not be seen by polite company because of all the surplus jiggling and excessive sweat. Thank God for girdles and sensible shoes!

We got to the bank at 6:35 on a holiday weekend. A very cheerful and delightfully handsome man named Steve greeted us. Now, Steve had a recently returned-missionary look about him, which is one of my greatest weaknesses in the world. His pants were tight enough that we could see he was circumcised.

We got the vapors. Then he turned his back to us and bent down to get some forms, and that butt… That beautiful, perfectly rounded, tight enough to bounce a quarter off of ass in those exceedingly tight brown pants was staring us in the face, and we were left speechless. Perhaps I need to give “Happy Valley” another chance. We finished signing the papers at one minute before 7 p.m. One minute later and we would have had to return the next day to finish.

With much blushing, and a little bit of excess ogling of the buns, we bid farewell to Steve and raced back to the dealership.

The dealer told us that while we were at the bank, the previous test driver had returned and wanted to purchase the van.

Lucky for me, I had signed the papers before I left for the bank.

If we had hesitated for even a few minutes, we could have lost it. Truly this was a case of

perfect timing. To celebrate, we went to dinner at Chubby’s Neighborhood Restaurant and had a big greasy burger. Oh, so delicious. I really might need to give “Happy Valley” a chance.

On Saturday evening at 6:30 p.m., I returned from a run to Costco and I noticed I had run over a screw and the tire was leaking air. I called Victor’s Tires to see if they were open.

They said come on over and within 30 minutes I had a repaired tire. On Independence Day, I drove to Brigham City to watch fireworks with the grandkids, and while there, another tire sprung a leak. I quickly drove to the Walmart tire shop at 6:30 p.m. on a holiday. They didn’t want to let me in, but the cashier said that they were scheduled until 7 and she would make them do it. So I bought a new tire.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Did Moses really see a burning bush, or was it a wig on fire?

2. Can only overweight queens eat at Chubby’s?

3. The van is white. Does that mean that I can’t drive it after Labor Day? 4. Since everything with this car happens on a weekend or holiday at 6:30 p.m., should that be declared happy hour?

5. Instead of Queertanic VII, should I name this car Queertanic 6:30?

These and other eternal questions shall be answered in future chapters of the Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

AUGUST 2017 | ISSUE 270 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 55

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