QSaltLake Magazine - December 2017 Issue

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DECEMBER 2017 ISSUE 274

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Kylee Howell, Friar Tuck’s Barbershop

PHOTO COURTESY UNILEVER

LGBT UTAHNS WHO

MAKE IT BETTER

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Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

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Dennis McCracken Artistic Director

A Holiday Music

Celebration

December 89, 2017 @ 7:30pm December 10, 2017 @ 4:00pm First Baptist Church, SLC, UT General Admission Tickets $15 Tickets available now from choir members, at Club Try-Angles, or online at brownpapertickets.com

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ISSUE 274 |

DECEMBER 2017

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publisher/editor Michael Aaron

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday designer Christian Allred sales Craig Ogan, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com national advertising representatives: Rivendell Media, 212-242-6863 sales@ rivendellmedia.com Motivate Media, 858-272-9023 contributors Joshua Adamson, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Dave Brousseau, Paul Campbell, Tyson Daley, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Mikey Rox, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, Elaine Stehel, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

Randy Bodily, Alana Luckart publisher

Q Media Group 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt.)

Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

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DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

from the publisher

It gets better because people make it better

BY MICHAEL AARON

The “It Gets Better”

project is a wonderful reminder to those struggling with differences in themselves. It gives them hope that, when they can finally show their authentic selves, the road may be rough, but it will get better.

But it doesn’t just get better out of thin air. People who came out prior to the past several years often didn’t ever get to the “better’” part. They lost family and friends, jobs, their dignity and, for some, their lives.

What happened is people, a lot of people, stepped up and MADE it better. They risked their own happiness and safety to make the world a place where, indeed, it would bet better for LGBT people.

People are still doing the good work making the world a better place, in ways from small to huge.

We put out a call last month for nominations of people who are making things better for LGBT Utahns. We received many, many wonderful stories of people making a difference. We spotlight three of these people in this issue, but were so overwhelmed with the heartwarming work people are doing in this community, we decided to make it a regular, monthly feature.

Each month we will highlight someone in Utah who is making the lives of LGBT people better.

Please think about the people in your life and nominate someone you think fits the “Make It Better” column.

Send their name and what you think they do that makes them a great candidate for us to spotlight. If available, please also send a way for us to contact them for an interview.

In this issue, we spotlight a barber who donates to the VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center for every haircut she does.

She also hosts and participates in events to collect clothing or raise funds for those in need. We also highlight a retired library services professional who can’t get lending books out of his system and built a Little Free Library for his front yard and helps others do the same. And a community activist who answered a plea for help from LGBT refugees fleeing to Salt Lake, getting friends to help furnish their apartment and now trying to raise money to send to an African refugee camp, since LGBT refugees waiting there for a better life are living in desperate conditions, since they are the lowest on the proverbial totem pole.

Let’s focus on the good that happens in our community, at least in one column per month. Maybe, just maybe, it will encourage others to do great and small things to make Utah and the world a better place. Q To nominate someone, please email editor@qsaltlake.com with the subject “Make it Better.”

FIRST WORD | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

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10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

news The top national and world news you should know from last month #metoo goes GBT; no L yet Sexual assault and harassment charges now include LGBT activity. Charlie Sheen has denied press reports that he assaulted Cory Haim, when Haim was 14-years old. Cory Feldman a friend of the deceased Haim, reported that Haim told him of sexual relations with an unnamed “star” on the set of a TV series Haim was shooting with Sheen.

Emmy award winner Jeffery Tambor, star of the Emmy award-winning streaming hit, Transparent, has been accused by his transgender assistant of sexual harassment. Tambor denies the accusation.

Former model Scott R. Brunton said that actor George Takei sexually assaulted him 36 years ago. The assault allegedly took place in Takei’s L.A. home. Brunton said he was drugged by the actor-turned-social media influencer.

Actor Kevin Spacey’s travails, accusations from 15 people, include an attempted rape of a 14-year-old, alleged groping and propositioning a British journalist during an interview and some salacious groping in a London bar while Spacey was managing director of The Olde Vic Theatre Company. Spacey has been dropped from Netflix’ House of Cards, and director Ridley Scott is re-shooting

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

scenes from All the Money in the World, a movie recently wrapped, replacing Spacey with Christopher Plummer.

Other than a goofy picture and tweet by Ellen Degeneres ogling Katie Perry’s breasts, a quick Google search returns nothing about any recent sexual harassment charges against lesbians.

Virginia’s self proclaimed ‘Homophobe-inchief’ loses election to — wait for it ….Transgender candidate Danica Roem. Virginia Assemblyman, Bob Marshall lost his reelection bid to Roem, making her the first openly transgender lawmaker in the state, and the first openly transgender state representative in the country. Marshall refused to debate Roem, claiming he would not use her preferred pronouns, and misgendered her in speeches. Marshall sponsored a bathroom bill at which time he declared himself “Virginia’s Homophobe-in-Chief.”

Palm Springs City Council 100% LGBT The Nov. 2017 municipal election resulted in LGBT gains across the nation, but no more than in Palm Springs.

The City of about 50,000 residents installed a city council of 100 percent LGBT council members.

Lisa Middleton made history Tuesday as the first openly transgender candidate elected to a nonjudicial office in California. Christy Holstege, who identifies as bisexual, won the second open seat on the city council. Middleton and Holstege join gay council members Geoff Kors and J.R. Roberts. One upset in the race is one of the candidates is under 50 years old.

Discrimination Nation A new poll from NPR, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health reports most everyone in the U.S. thinks they are discriminated against on a daily basis, including 92 percent of African-Americans, 90 percent of LGBTQ, 78 percent of Latinos, 75 percent of Native Americans, 60 percent of Asian-Americans and, proving it’s lonely at the top, 55 percent of whites.

Texas Speaker steps down ‘apres moi le deluge’ What could portend the resurrection of anti-LGBT legislation by the state of Texas, Speaker of the House Joe Straus is stepping down. Since 2009, the speaker’s power has rested in the hands of Straus, a moderate Republican representative from San Antonio.

He used his leadership authority to stall and then defeat anti-LGBT legislation, most recently a “bathroom bill” in the last session.

GLAAD decries ‘cisgender males’ on TV GLAAD’s “Where We Are on TV” report says visibility of LGBT characters is at an all-time high in its 22 years of monitoring. Over six percent of series regular characters on broadcast television are LGBT in the 2017–18 season, accounting for 58 of 901 roles.

Despite what we thought of married couples in the ’50s and ’60s, GLAAD says this year is the first time there are asexual and nonbinary characters making appearances on streaming and cable.

The report suggests diversity is still lacking, as 55 percent of LGBT roles on network television are cisgender male.

Moreover, most of these characters are white. Sarah Kate

Ellis, CEO of GLAAD calls for vigilance.

“At a time when the Trump administration is trying to render LGBTQ people invisible, representing LGBTQ people in all of our diversity in scripted TV programs is essential,” she said.

Rainbow flag at Stonewall monument ... sort of The report that the Rainbow Flag would be flown over the Stonewall National Monument in lower Manhattan was sort of right. LGBT community sponsors of the raising event claimed the flag would be flown at the monument next to a U.S. National Park Service Flag, the first time the Rainbow Flag would appear at a national monument. After media and Department of Interior inquiries, it was discovered the flag pole is not on the monument property, but in a NY City park. So, in accordance with “flag protocol,” the National Park Service flag was replaced by a New York City Parks Department flag.

‘Romeo and Julio’ A student project from the acclaimed UCLA Film School is producing a short film based on Wm. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet told through an “immigrant, gay lens” to depict a love story between an Anglo man and a Latino man.

It’s been renamed Romeo and Julio.

Oscar Emmanuel Fabela said he was inspired by Hamilton: An American Musical, and reflects his personal sexual and ethnic background.

Only certain pronouns and the title of the play were changed in the adaptation, as Fabela claims, “We can use this over 400-year-old text and change nothing but the pronouns and it’s still relevant,” he added.

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

Salt Lake City receives poor grade on LGBT equality index If Salt Lake City were in school, the grade it would receive from the Human Rights Campaign and Equality Federation Institute on LGBT equality would be a D+.

The two LGBT equality organizations published the

annual Municipality Equality Index, which scores cities of all sizes in five categories: nondiscrimination laws, municipality’s nondiscrimination practices in employment, municipal services, law enforcement and relationship with the LGBT community.

Out of a maximum 100 points, Salt Lake City received a score of 69. Ogden was ranked next highest with 47 points, and Park City received 38 points. Logan, Provo, West Jordan and West Valley City each received an abysmal 35 points.

Salt Lake City received 20 out of 30 points for its nondiscrimination laws, losing 10 potential points for lack of a public accommodations law that would protect people on the basis of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

City Council members Stan Penfold and Derek Kitchen announced in October, 2016, an effort to create such an ordinance, but so far no progress has been made public.

As far as Salt Lake City as an employer, the organizers dinged the city on lack of healthcare benefits for trans-

gender employees. The Salt Lake County Council passed Arlyn Bradshaw’s proposal to cover transgender county employees’ health care in August, 2016. The city also lost points on an ordinance requiring contractors working for the city have nondiscrimination policies.

In municipal services, the city received a 13 out of 16 score, getting credit for the state’s school anti-bullying law that covers sexual orientation, but not gender identity, according to the report.

Under law enforcement, the city received 12 out of a potential of 22 points, all of which were for the Salt Lake City Police Department’s reporting of hate crime statistics to the FBI. And while SLCPD officers are part of the Public Safety Pride Alliance, the department does not have its own named liaison with the LGBT community or task force entrusted with ensuring equal treatment.

Lastly, in the relationship the city has with the LGBT community, the city received 8 out of 8 points, and received “extra credit” of two points for having openly LGBT elected or appointed municipal leaders.

Other potential extra credit points the city lost were having an inclusive workplace (actively recruit LGBTQ employees, LGBTQ-inclusive diversity training, or an LGBTQ employee affinity group); providing specific services to LGBT youth, homeless, elders, people with HIV/AIDS or the transgender community; or actively testing the limits of restrictive state laws. Q The full report is available at hrc.org/mei.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

General election results good for Utah LGBT candidates and allies Salt Lake City Council’s LGBT contingent grew by one, and eight of Equality Utah’s picks for LGBT-inclusive candidates won their seats in the most recent election, held Tuesday, Nov. 7 across the state.

Equality Utah-endorsed candidates who successfully earned their seats include CHRIS WHARTON, Salt Lake City Council District 3; ERIN MENDENHALL, Salt Lake City Council District 5; AMY FOWLER, Salt Lake City Council District 7; MARCIA WHITE, Ogden City Council at-large A; ANDY BEERMAN, Park City Mayor; DUSTIN GETTEL, Midvale City Council District 5; MARIAH S. ELLIOT, Ivins City Council; and COREY THOMAS, South Salt Lake City Council District 2.

EU-endorsed candidates who did not make it through the election include SOPHIA HAWES-TINGEY for Midvale Mayor, MARK KINDRED for South Salt Lake Mayor; TAYLOR KNUTH for Ogden City Council Ward 3; NINA MORSE for West Haven City Council At-Large (a graphic posted by Equality Utah erroneously showed her as winning her seat); NICOLE BUTLER, Perry City Council at-large; ROBERT EBERHARD for Clinton City Council at-large; TINESHA ZANDAMELA, Provo City Council District 5; and AARON FROST, South Salt Lake City Council at-large.

Openly LGBT Elected Officials SALT LAKE CITY COUNCIL Salt Lake civil rights attorney CHRISTOPHER WHARTON won his bid to replace outgoing Salt Lake City Councilman Stan Penfold in District 3 — Avenues and Capitol Hill — besting long-time community activist Phil Carroll 56 to 44 percent.

Wharton served two terms on the Salt Lake City Human Rights Commission, where he helped establish the state’s first non-discrimination ordinances for housing and employment. He also served on the Utah Pride Center Board of Directors, where he led a nationwide coalition of organizations in filing an amicus brief to the U.S. Supreme Court calling for equal treatment of LGBTQ families under the law.

Public defender and co-founder of the LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah AMY FOWLER handily defeated telecom executive Abe Smith for Salt Lake City Council District 7 with 63 percent of the vote.

OGDEN CITY COUNCIL Healthcare consultant MARCIA WHITE, who lives with her partner of 22 years, Nancy L. Knape, easily won re-election with 65 percent of the vote over Lew

Chris Wharton

MIDVALE CITY COUNCIL Utah Department of Health Medical Review Board Policy Analyst Dustin Gettel won over opponent Stephen Brown 60 to 40 percent. He says that passing a public accommodations ordinance is one of his top priorities after being sworn in. Q

Amy Fowler

More Election Results The following election results are preliminary for races followed by QSaltLake. LGBT, LGBT-friendly or Equality Utah-endorsed candidates in pink.

3RD CONGRESSIONAL SEAT John Curtis (R) 57.97% Kathie Allen (D) 26.78% Jim Bennett (UU) 8.86% Sean Whalen (U) 2.71% Joe Buchman (L) 2.19% Jason Christensen (I) 1.49%

MIDVALE MAYOR Robert M. Hale 59.94% Sophia Hawes-Tingey 40.06%

MIDVALE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 5 Dustin Gettel Stephen Brown

Wheelwright. White has served as chair of the city council for the past four years.

59.97% 40.03%

Marcia White

SALT LAKE CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 3 Chris Wharton 55.46% Phil Carroll 44.54%

SOUTH SALT LAKE MAYOR Cherie Wood 52.08% Mark C. Kindred 47.48% Write-In Votes 0.45%

OGDEN CITY COUNCIL MUNICIPAL WARD 3 Stephens, Doug 58.63% Knuth, Taylor 41.37%

OGDEN CITY COUNCIL AT LARGE A White, Marcia 65.19% Wheelwright, Lew A 34.81%

WEST HAVEN CITY COUNCIL Hunter, Randy 30.06% Smith, Shawn L. 21.42% Vanderwood, Rob 29.40% Morse, Nina 19.12%

Dustin Gettel

PERRY CITY COUNCIL Nicole Butler 20.74% Esther Montgomery 26.56% Boyd Montgomery 10.78% Andrew Watkins 41.93%

IVINS CITY COUNCIL The City Of Ivins Declared Miriah R. Elliott Won Election On Sept 26, 2017

CLINTON CITY COUNCIL K. Peterson 45.32% M. Petersen 28.48% R. Eberhard 26.20%

PROVO CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 5 David Harding 60% Tinesha Zandamela 40%

PARK CITY MAYOR Andy Beerman Dana Williams

54% 46%

Vote counts are preliminary until canvassed on Nov. 17.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

LGBT Mormons face new grueling inquiry to serve a mission The first paragraph of new Church of Latter-day Saints standardized criteria for prospective missionaries reads: “For many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, missionary service is a significant milestone in their lifelong spiritual growth. Church leaders desire that this sacred time of service be a joyous and faith-building experience for every missionary, from young men and women to senior couples.

With this goal in mind, it is imperative that each missionary be appropriately prepared, worthy, and healthy.”

Mormon bishops will now be required to use a series of questions, 16 to be exact, to be answered in depth by potential missionaries. The questions require incredibly personal details of the person’s life, including physical, mental and emotional conditions — notably anxiety, depression, dyslexia, speech disorders, attention deficit disorder, autism/Asperger’s, obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder; as well as unpaid debts and steps to rectify; crimes (including child sexual abuse) whether charged, dropped or expunged; party to legal actions; and abuse of prescription medications.

One specific, layered question asks: Full-time missionary service requires living gospel standards. What do you understand about the following standards?

The law of chastity — In reference to the law of chastity, have you always lived in accordance with what has been discussed? If not, how long ago did the transgression(s) occur? What have you

done to repent?

Avoiding pornography The law of tithing The Word of Wisdom — including the use of drugs or the abuse of prescribed medications Keeping the Sabbath day holy Being honest in all you say and do Have you lived in accordance with all of these standards? Are you now living in accordance with them? Will you live in accordance with them as a full-time missionary?

These standards are detailed in the accompanying appendix of the standardized document. Highlights include: “A person who has been guilty of adultery, fornication, heavy petting, homosexual activity, other sexual perversions, serious violation of civil law, or other serious transgressions must repent before he or she may be recommended for missionary service. A prospective missionary must also overcome any addictions before being considered for missionary service. “Mere confession and refraining from a sin for a period of time do not on their own constitute repentance. There must also be evidence of a broken heart, a contrite spirit, and a lasting change of behavior …”

“A person who has been promiscuous with several partners or with one partner over an extended period of time in a relationship outside of marriage will not be considered for missionary service. Stake

presidents and bishops help these individuals repent and provide them with other meaningful ways to serve the Lord.” “[Before marriage,] do not participate in passionate kissing, lie with or on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with

or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do such things with you.”

“Like other violations of the law of chastity, homosexual activity is a serious sin. It is contrary to the purposes of human sexuality (see Romans 1:24–32). It distorts loving relationships and prevents people from receiving the blessings that can be found in family life and the saving ordinances of the gospel.”

“Be honest with yourself, others, and God at all times. Being honest means choosing not to lie, steal, cheat, or deceive in any way.

One other question posed that will likely affect LGBT Mormons or their allies, in particular, who want to serve a mission: Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Q

CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH MAZZA. DINE IN OR LET US CATER FOR YOU. Serving in two Gayborhoods: East Harvey Milk District, 912 East Harvey Milk Blvd – 801-521-4572 1515 South 15th East – 801-484-9259 MAZZACAFE.COM

*Beer and wine only at 15TH & 15TH en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_multinational_festivals_and_holidays

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Vandalized rainbow flag prompts Brigham City, Utah residents’ anti-gay rhetoric on social media The night of Oct. 30, a Brigham City home displaying a rainbow flag was vandalized. Other than the flag being slashed, only a circled-A anarchist symbol was spray painted on the exterior of the house and four vehicles on the property. The damaged flag has led the homeowner, Austin Forsgren, and his family to believe their home was the target of a hate crime, especially since no other homes were vandalized in the area that night.

However, Lt. Chris Howard with Brigham City Police told ABC4 News, “The anarchy symbol isn’t really a hate symbol of any kind, so we don’t know that that’s really a connection.”

The circled-A symbolizes what anarchists truly believe: an organized society free of unjustified authority.

Followers of ABC4 Utah’s Facebook page tend to agree with Lt. Howard.

BRIANNA WRIGHT I live in the area and honestly i bet it’s not about the flag,

Q mmunity Get your groove on at UAF’s 13th annual Red Party To help raise funds to support the Utah AIDS Foundation mission to empower those living with HIV/AIDS, Avant Groove Jazz Club & Martini Bar and UAF will co-host the 13th annual Red Party on Thursday, Nov. 30. Guests are invited to celebrate “13 Years of Giving” while they commemorate upcoming World AIDS Day on Dec. 1, 2017.

WHEN: Thurs., Nov. 30, 5-7 p.m.

PLACE: Avant Groove Jazz Club, 122 W. Pierpont Ave TICKET PRICING $100 - 3 Drawing and drink tickets, $50 - 2 Drawing and drink tickets, $25 - 1 Drawing and drink ticket Tickets can be purchased at UAF, 1408 S. 1100 East, SLC.

honestly it sounds like something dumb highschool students would do....

SHAUN LARSEN So someone stomps or burns an American flag and that’s ok, it’s their right to do so. Someone vandalized a gay flag and they have crossed the line?

Geez we sure live in an effed up world ‍ FRANK TOWNSEND If gays don’t like the treatment they receive in Brigham City, they can always move to a more relaxed atmosphere place like Iran.

KIM CARDWELL One thing to consider. Certain people are doing things to make it appear a certain way. Reverse psychology is being used as warfare at this time. I would not totally buy into How this appears until you have proof. It’s a good time for these people to get cameras.

JAMES HELMS I don’t blame people in a small conservative community for wanting to run the leftists off. Mormons need to be more proactive in keeping the riff raff out of Utah.

RCGSE annual Snowball holiday fundraiser scheduled for Dec. 3 Christmas is a time for giving and the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire starts off the season with a bang.

Every year, the reigning Prince and Princess Royale are charged with raising money for the People with Aids Fund.

During the holiday season the PWA Fund provides monetary assistance to individuals living with HIV/AIDS to use however they like. To raise money for this cause, the prince and princess hold several events.

The fundraising began in August during which they held a series of events called PWA Kickoff. The culmination of the campaign is an annual event called Snowball.

These funds raised are hand delivered by the prince and princess during the month of December.

This year, Prince Royale

The incident, however, has led Forsgren to channel his anger into raising awareness and support for Brigham City’s LGBT community.

“It’s pushed me forward to do something better with it,” Forsgren told KSL News. “This pushed me into realizing we need an LGBT center in the community, and I would really like to be able to help start one.”

He has started a Facebook group to garner support, which as of today has just over 80 members. Forsgren also plans to keep his torn up flag.

“I’ll eventually sew it, just to use it as a symbol that I can get past this,” he said. Q

XLII, Jody LaShae, and Princess Royale XLII, Mae Daye, are proud to have been the organizers of the events benefiting the PWA Fund. Snowball is a black-tie, fundraising dinner, show, and auction where attendees can bid on amazing items which all benefit the cause.

Snowball, A Masquerade Ball, will be held Dec. 3, 2017 at the Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South. The doors open at 5 p.m., with dinner served at 5:30 p.m., and showtime at 6 p.m.

The meal will be catered

by Jeffrey Barlow (Seville LaShae) and will feature a delicious menu. The show will feature some of the best drag entertainers in the state of Utah, and alcohol, beer and wine will be available.

Tickets are $25 in advance and $30 at the door, and are available through arttix: arttix.artsaltlake.org

Urban Flea Market moves indoors for the Winter Downtown Salt Lake City’s biggest flea market moves indoors for the winter season.

Sunday, Nov. 20 starting at 10 a.m. at The Gateway, The Market will transform large indoor retail spaces into an indoor winter flea market featuring 70+ vendors offering the best eclectic and unique vintage and antique finds.

Local crafters will provide cool handcrafted and upcycled vintage items. There will be music, local food trucks Poutine Your Mouth and Three Brothers Tacos, along with coffee, cold beverages and snacks at our market commissary.

Admission is $2. Free parking is available in the Gateway ‘North’ Parking garage and surrounding streets.

Vendor info and market dates are on the website at www.fleamarketslc.com.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

HRC’s 2018 Corporate Equality Index scores 4 Utahbased companies’ LGBTQ-inclusive workplace policies The Human Rights Campaign Foundation, the educational arm of the nation’s largest LGBTQ civil rights organization, announced a record number of the nation’s major companies and law firms are advancing vital policies and practices to protect LGBTQ workers around the world, according to the 2018 Corporate Equality Index (CEI), an annual report assessing LGBTQ inclusion in major companies and law firms across the nation, including four in Utah.

This year, a recordbreaking 609 businesses earned the CEI’s top score of 100, up from 517 last year — an increase of 18 percent. This record sets a new high watermark for corporate leadership over the 15-year history of the CEI. In total, 947 companies and law firms were officially rated in the new CEI, up from 887 in last year’s. The report also unofficially rated 137 Fortune 500 companies, which have yet to respond to an invitation to participate in the CEI survey assessing their LGBTQ policies

and practices. The average score for companies and law firms based in Utah is 75 percent.

“At a time when the rights of LGBTQ people are under attack by the TrumpPence Administration and state legislatures across the country, hundreds of top American companies are driving progress toward equality in the workplace,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “The top-scoring companies on this year’s CEI are not only establishing policies that affirm and include employees here in the United States, they are applying these policies to their operations around the globe and impacting millions of people beyond our shores.”

Gastronomy Inc.

Score: 50 Areas of Improvement Needed: Prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity or expression for all operations, parity across spousal and partner “soft” benefits, transgender-inclu-

sive health insurance coverage, firm-wide organizational competency programs, employer-supported employee resource group or firm-wide diversity council, and positively engages the external LGBTQ community

CHG Healthcare Inc.

Score: 85 Areas of Inmprovement Needed: Firmwide organizational competency programs and positively engages the external LGBTQ community

Overstock.com Inc.

Score: 75 Areas of Improvement Needed: Transgender-inclusive health insurance coverage, firm-wide organizational competency programs, employer-supported employee resource group or firm-wide diversity council, and positively engages the external LGBTQ community

SkyWest Airlines Inc.

City: St. George Score: 90 Areas of Improvement Needed: Transgender-inclusive health insurance coverage

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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Two-spirit couple disqualified from ‘Sweethearts’ dance competition

BY MICHAEL AARON

A gay couple from Salt Lake City competed in a “Sweetheart Special” dance competition at the annual San Manuel Powwow in San Bernadino, Calif., the weekend of Oct. 13-15. While they were ultimately disqualified from the competition, which awarded a total of $34,500 to the top 10 couples, because contest rules require the couple to be male-female, the fact they were able to dance in the first round is considered a big move forward.

Adrian “AD” Matthias Stevens, who is San Carlos Apache, Northern Ute and Shoshone Bannock, was raised in Fort Duchesne, Utah on the Uintah and Ouray Indian Reservation. His fiance, Sean Snyder, is Navajo and Southern Ute, from Iowa City, Iowa. They refer to themselves as a Two-Spirit couple and have been together for five years.

“We’d known each other for quite some time before then,” Stevens said.

Both have been dancing at powwows since they were children. Both of Stevens’ parents are dancers and Snyder’s grandmother danced and encouraged his family to participate in powwows.

“I’ve been dancing since I could walk,”

Snyder said.

“This powwow arena is what brought us together,” Stevens said. “This arena has so much love and it brought us together. We’ve also done international trips together. That’s where our [engagement] rings come from. I proposed to Sean at the Eiffel Tower in Paris and presented him with that ring.”

The couple decided this year to compete in the Sweetheart Special dance contest, and worked for months on their routine and outfits.

“The San Manuel Powwow is one of our favorites,” Stevens said. “This year, in particular, our big focus was the Sweetheart Special.”

Snyder said they looked forward to representing themselves and their tribal identities.

Once they got to the powwow and were registering to compete, however, they were confronted by three rules on the form: • Team members must be married or in a long-term relationship with each other.

• Team members must be 18 years and older.

• A team is two people ONLY, one male & one female. (Emphasis added.)

“I was in shock that, after all the work we had put into our routine and outfits, that this may not actually happen,” Stevens said.

But the couple was encouraged by friends and family to sign their names to the sheet, regardless. So, Stevens wrote his name under the “Male Contestant Name” heading and Snyder’s under “Female Contestant Name.”

The people at the registration desk specifically asked if “Sean” was a woman.

Stevens lied.

“We knew that we would be breaking social norms for this special but we were excited to just go out there like any other couple and simply dance with each other,” Stevens said.

The Powwow committee and judges became aware of the couple, according to a statement later released by organizers, but allowed them to complete the dance “to honor them and their relationship.”

They were well received by the audience and people who have since commented on videos posted online.

“We have a lot of support within the powwow community and friends and family, and friends who are like family PHOTO BY AMIGO KANDU

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

who have given us a lot of support in the beginning and throughout the whole weekend,” Stevens said.

While the current rules were against them, they still feel it was well worth it.

“We went to show our style, our athleticism, our talent,” Stevens said. “We made waves as two-spirit people in the powwow arena. Growing up in this arena, we want to make headway on a movement that’s equal for everyone.”

In a statement, powwow coordinator Tom Ramos pointed to tradition as the reason the dance competition is restricted to male-female couples.

“The Sweetheart Competition has been an ongoing event with the San Manuel Powwow for much of the powwow’s history. This competition has been guided by rules that were created by tribal elders who are involved in the broader Powwow circuit and are established with the utmost respect to the Traditional ways,” Ramos wrote. “We understand and acknowledge that same-sex couples are valuable members of the world community and harbor no negative thoughts or opinions against any same-sex couples whatsoever.”

“It’s often difficult when our Native Traditional ways intersect with modern issues to find equal ground,” Ramos continued. “The Creator gives each of us our own spirit, it is not for us to judge what the Creator has chosen for us.”

The statement ended on a hopeful note.

“The rules for the San Manuel Powwow are reviewed and updated based on the outcomes of past events. As such we strive to find balance between traditional ways and the realities of the present day.

Our goal is to always find ways to include all of our Native peoples and not to exclude anyone.”

It is common knowledge, however, that many Native groups in North America had radically different views of gender than the simple male-female binary.

Many recognized four genders — roughly described as feminine woman, masculine woman, feminine man, masculine man.

Many groups had separate, non-derogatory term for people who fit in the feminine man/masculine woman spectrum, such as winkte among the Sioux, and nàdleehì among the Navajo.

“In many tribes, individuals who

JOIN the MATRONS OF MAYHEM on the entered into same-sex relationships were considered holy and treated with utmost respect and acceptance,” wrote anthropologist Brian Gilley.

Gilley said that those traditions of gender and relationships changed when European settlers reshaped Native culture.

In a post on Facebook, Cherokee artist Aiden ShortCloud, who watched the couple compete at the powwow, noted that, “if you’re Two-Spirit then you’re both male and female. So how were they lying on that form?”

Stevens and Snyder are hopeful they have made a positive difference by participating.

“This arena doesn’t belong to anybody, it’s for all of us. We were gifted with the ability to dance and enjoy, so it felt good to come here and share our style and the routine we put together, and the time and effort that went into our outfits. Our families have contributed a lot to this.”

“Powwows have become more progressive and accepting toward Two-Spirit individuals,” Snyder said. “We have a lot of Two-Spirit friends who powwow across the country and Canada. Based on my experience I still see a lot of homophobia within the Powwow community, but just as greater society has grown so has our Powwow community. There is still a long way to go to understanding of Two-Spirit identities and how we can engage in our own cultural activities without prejudice.”

Stevens hopes that people not yet out were also affected by their participation.

“There were people in the audience who may be younger who are still finding themselves and how they fit in and their identity,” Stevens said. “Us going out there and being in the public eye and putting ourselves in that spotlight, we just want to give people the support and encouragement to say, ‘yeah, look, we’re out there doing it and living our lives.’

There’s so much love in this arena and so much love on the outside that we’re going to do this no matter what anybody may think.”

“We’re definitely not just doing it for us,” Snyder said. “This is for everybody.” Q Bay Area American Indian Two-Spirits is hosting a powwow in San Francisco Feb. 3. Organizers have invited Stevens and Snyder to participate. Info at bit.ly/2spiritpowwow.

Saturday

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Free buffet Big Gay Bingo Prizes $7 in free play Tickets at: BIGGAYFUNBUS.COM or 801-997-9763 x2 or at Club Try-Angles during normal hours

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

quotes “I lost relatives to AIDS. A couple of my closest cousins, favorite cousins.

I lost friends to AIDS, high school friends who never even made it to their 21st birthdays in the ’80s.

When it’s that close to you, you can’t — you know, you can’t really deny it, and you can’t run from it.”

—Queen Latifah, honoring World AIDS Day 2017

“I used to go out to gay bars because I lived in West Hollywood and it was always really easy, like the Abbey. But then when the gays became popular and ‘in’ and fashionable, so did the bars, and it became very hip to go to gay bars. That made me crazy, because I was like, ‘This is not my intent.

I just wanna go and dance to some fucking Madonna.

I don’t care that it’s gay.’

But it became very hip in L.A. to be the girl at the gay bar.”

—Mila Kunis, on growing up in West Hollywood

“Men who are into trans women who want to keep us a secret and are afraid if someone thinks they are gay, they’re insecure as fuck. If someone thinks you’re gay, gay is fabulous. Gay is amazing. Toxic masculinity is bullshit.”

—Laverne Cox, on “insecure” men

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

TAKE SOMETHING OFF YOUR PLATE! PAYROLL

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Are you

one of those people that hunts high and low for just the right holiday gift? Do you get frustrated trying to come up with the perfect present for the LGBT parents or their kids in your life? Well, Who’s Your Daddy has done the leg work for you! Here are some great ideas for the two dad or two mom families on your holiday shopping list.

Zazzle, an online marketplace for custom products has a large selection of T-shirts, onesies, bibs and other items for kids and LGBT parents alike. Among my favorites are a couple of really cute onesies: one declares, “All Because Two Girls Fell in Love,” while the other sports a couple of cartoon dinosaurs and reads, “My Dads are DINO-MITE!” If you’re looking for something for parents, Zazzle also has some clever T-shirts for all sorts of nontraditional families.

If books are more your style, the shelves are (thankfully) packed with titles for LGBT parents and their kids. One new book I wish had been published when we first adopted is “The Ultimate Guide for Gay Dads,” by Eric Rosswood. In it you’ll find great information like the difference between donor breast milk and formula, and how to discern which is best for your child. There’s also a section on creating a birth plan for open adoptions and surrogacy births.

Some of my favorite books for kids with same-gender parents include “The Family Book,” by Todd Parr, “And Tango Makes Three” by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, and “Daddy, Papa and Me” and “Mommy, Mama and Me” by Leslea Newman.

Kenna Cook, a sex educator (whom you can contact at sexplusparenting.com), suggested we consider books that celebrate gay culture and history like “This Day in June” by Gayle E. Pitman or “The ABC’s of LGBT” by Ashley Mardell.

You can get all of these titles at The

King’s English, and if they don’t have them on the shelf, they’re happy to order them for you!

There are also several fabulous books individually designed specifically for the LGBT family in your life. For example, Family-stories.com allows you to customize a unique story starring your own family. They proactively include diverse families, including those with two moms or two dads. Another choice is NamelyMeBooks.com, which offers a uniquely-written first baby book that is personalized and illustrated to celebrate your specific family. Among the choices of family types are same-gender parents and those that reflect the specifics for a wide range of families such as a birth mom and adoptive mom, interracial couples and a variety of races.

Maybe you want something a little bit more personal. A couple of local artists, Clair and Janae, create handmade LGBTthemed baby blankets and changing pads.

You can find them on Etsy. (In full transparency, Janae and I know each other professionally.)

For the more irreverent people on your list (yes, I’m talking about Kelly and me), you can’t go wrong with the options found at cafepress.com. For the little ones, there are onesies with “My Parents are Homos-apiens,” a bib proclaiming, “You Think You’re Spoiled? I Have Two Dads.” sAnd my favorite, “Both of Them are My Real Moms.”

And they haven’t forgotten about the parents. I love the woman’s shirt that declares, “I’m Mommy. She’s Mama.” Oh, if you’re looking for a stocking stuffer for me, I’d love the “My Dad is a Fagosaurus Rex” cup or the “Dad2” T-shirt.

What I find really terrific about all these ideas is that they simply exist. It’s a testament to the acceptance and embracing of LGBT families. And that’s the best gift of all.

Happy Holidays, everyone! Q

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20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

Qsaltlake.com

| ISSUE 274 |

DECEMBER 2017

queer shift

Mo or no, jump the bowl

Exiting

BY CHARLES LYNN FROST

the Mormon church is hard. It doesn’t have to be. Leaving Mormonism can affect everything from your family relationships to your social structure to the number of likes on your social media posts. It doesn’t have to be. You’ll discover who your real friends are, and those who are fair weather, perhaps even toxic once you leave. The experience, while possibly unsettling, changes you as a person for the better, and will ultimately lead to greater happiness, courage

and authenticity than you ever imagined.

Some need to ask yourselves when it comes to leaving Mormonism. Relax, clear your mind and answer truthfully (according to your truth) with a simple Yes or No: Has Mormonism been the only organized religion you’ve ever associated with as a member?

Has your childhood, adolescence, young adult and adult life been centered in Mormonism?

Have you ever evaluated or seriously thought about

Mormonism as an entire life (womb to tomb) religion?

Have you ever contemplated and analyzed that the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Mormonism are two entirely different things?

Have you ever contemplated and really pondered that religion and spirituality are two uniquely separate and sustainable things?

In your opinion, is Mormonism a religion of equality?

Are all accepted in Mormonism with full blessings, valuing their differences, and an equal, progressive path in the religion? (women, people of color, all sexual orientations, other minorities, and the oppressed) In your opinion, does the highest levels of leadership in Mormonism truly reflect the whole of its members?

Have you ever had doubt that parts of Mormonism are not true within your own soul? Have you brushed those doubts aside?

Honestly, Have you ever felt Mormonism is an end-oftimes cult?

When it comes to choice, do you feel Mormonism stands firmly behind this principle, or do you often feel Mormonism is centered around control and conformity?

Have you, or someone you know, suffered consequences (regarding membership, social inclusion, employment, housing, etc.) because of leaving Mormonism?

Do you have a personal life operating system (LOS) that

you’ve created and live by, other than the system Mormonism imposes?

In your opinion, do you feel the highest level leaders of Mormonism fairly represent the world we live in? (gender, generations, race, age, culture, etc.)

Is your authentic voice equal or less than those in your family, particularly your parents?

Have you seriously attempted separating emotion from spiritual feelings; is there confusion between the two? How about feelings and human emotions versus a spiritual experience?

Were you old enough to be baptized at age 8? Were you self-aware enough to understand the meaning of testimony, the holy ghost, etc?

Have you ever pondered the meaning and implications of the statement “the one and only true church,” especially when it connotes exclusion and having all truth in just one religion?

Do you believe that God intervenes in politics, nature, natural disasters, elections, health, religions?

Have you considered that general happiness in life is up to your choices, decisions and goals versus abdicating your happiness to a Mormon way of life?

You can reinvent yourself without Mormonism in your life. Have your life as you would have it be. Embrace yourself and your newly discovered happiness. Jump the bowl! Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

guest editorial

You are to blame for our rape culture You are

Exam, Bite-wing X-rays and Cleaning.

Good for the entire family.

Not valid with any other offers.

BY NATHAN EGGLESTON

just as much to blame for the toxic behavior as the Spaceys, Weinsteins, and other sexual predators of this world.

Why? Because every time you shame sex, nudity, or brush off questions about sexuality or gender or the body you make it a secret, titillating, behindclosed-doors, unnatural thing to be hidden and festishized.

If you really want to fix sexual assault, then fix society and your attitudes toward gender, sex and the body.

Our prudish attitudes toward sex and the body, our binary understanding of gender and sexuality, our constant censorship of individual expression all contribute to unhealthy sexual attitudes that inflict society and, most particularly, contribute to toxic masculinity and a fetishization of sex, the otherizing of the body, and the promotion of rape/sexual assault culture.

We mourn those who take their life because of the pressures of society’s demands for assimilated behaviors. We mourn those who fall into substance abuse to cope. We mourn those who comply with society’s demands and deal with depression their whole life. Repressed feelings and sexuality and curiosity manifest in many ways.

We have to address individual instances of sexual assault, and we also need to address the societal causes that lead men, in particular, to act out in violent and controlling ways.

Start telling folks it’s ok to masturbate.

Talk about sex and the body

and dating and gender and all those things that make you uncomfortable until you’re not uncomfortable anymore.

Make nudity mundane and boring — this is very important.

Make sex an everyday norm that is ok between consenting parties. Stop shaming sex and consensual sexual appetites no matter what your religion or culture says.

Teach kids about their bodies when they’re young.Teach teens about sex, consent, and safety — and talk about it often.

Teach consent through example — parents this is on you.

Stop controlling women’s bodies through legislation.

Seriously — fucking stop. Your legislation of another human’s body is legislative sexual assault.

Celebrate individuality and gender expression. Fuck gender roles — they’re useless and scientifically bogus.

Let people love whom they want, how they want, when they want, as long as they all consent.

Lastly, show compassion to all involved.

Victims and perpetrators of sexual assault merit society’s helping hand. If we continue to cast aside sexual deviants like the lepers of old they won’t come forth and seek help. If we continue to blame victims they won’t come forward and seek to end the cycle of abuse. We have to have compassion for both, no matter how hard that is to do or we won’t make any progress on this issue without continued shame, retribution, and the dangerous mob justice we’re seeing today. Q

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MAKE IT BETTER

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

MAKE IT BETTER

Kylee Howell: Helping homeless youth and redefining beauty one cut at a time

BY TONY HOBDAY

Kylee Howell is getting used to talking about her coming out, her new understanding of beauty, and her strive to cut the homeless youth problem in Utah Born in Carbon County, Howell revealed at Equality Utah’s “QTalks” that she was different than other people, but

here, but will they let me matter here.”

Revealing her inner most thoughts led to a recommendation from Howell’s then-hairstylist to try a barber. “I tried the barbershop and I immediately felt at home; it wasn’t too masculine, it wasn’t too feminine, it was just get a haircut and not [have to] think about boy-girl things — it was irrelevant, and I was stoked,” she said. “There’s this joke about going to a barbershop or a salon that is really the cheapest therapy aside from ... therapy!”

While in barber school, she was influenced by a part-time job she held at Even Sevens, a sandwich shop that gives back to Utah’s homeless community.

“When I became part of Volunteers of America, I knew I had to give back,” Howell admitted. “When I opened Friar Tucks, [I hoped I’d] still make an impact in the community.”

THE ORIGIN OF FRIAR TUCK’S BARBERSHOP

Kylee Howell (front) with wife Jennifer Buttrick at the Equality Utah Allies Dinner

didn’t have a word for it. “I thought to myself I think I have that (being gay),” she quipped in her speech. Raised a Catholic in central Utah, Howell admitted that when she moved to West Valley City at the age of 12, “I remember being in my 8th grade computer class … I threw myself into being really boy crazy.”

“Post high school was a whole different world, I was like I have to find whole new people and figure out what I was into so I could seek out those same people, and I found out I wasn’t completely comfortable with myself as I thought I was …

I didn’t like how I was presenting,” she admitted. She had a job at the time, but was concerned that “they will let me work

“Working my way through barber school I responded to an ad for a street-team member at Even Stevens Sandwiches. My job was to go around Salt Lake City and tell everyone I could about Even Stevens and their mission to donate a sandwich for every sandwich they sold. I started thinking, why didn’t every business operate this way? They are profitable, good to their employees, and have the potential to make a huge impact on the community. So the idea for a ‘Robin Hood’ type barbershop started forming, and I settled on making donations for every haircut or straight razor shave given. I read about Friar Tuck being a skilled swordsman who enjoyed good food and good wine, and who used his influence in the church to help poor people get educated, and that definitely felt similar to what I wanted to accomplish. And I’ve never said no to a good meal or glass of wine, so it definitely resonated. After graduating barber school I had the opportunity to work in a couple of amazing shops here in Salt Lake. I con-

tinued to learn from the people around me and start to solidify who I wanted to be as a barber.”

“Inspections began, supplies and equipment were acquired, and later with a lot of support from those around me, Friar Tuck’s welcomed its first client and made its first donation to Volunteers of America, Utah Homeless Youth resources.”

“They are doing incredibly important outreach work in our city and recently opened a new youth center with many resources for the most overlooked population in our community.” said Howell.

“I am proud to work with them and support their efforts and I am so grateful to my clients for making it possible.

Every time you come into the shop for a haircut or shave, you are making a difference. If you haven’t, come down to the shop to see how traditional barbering is making a change in our community, one haircut at a time.”

Howell has participated in a number of events to help raise funds, many alongside Even Stevens, including Givestock and the Beard & Mustache Contests in Spring that raises money for the Utah Food Bank. She also sponsored “Underwearness” in January to collect underwear, socks and bras for Utah’s homeless. They collected over 500 pairs of underwear, 500 pairs of socks and 14 bras.

DOVE COMMERCIAL Howell’s story caught the attention of a new national Dove campaign about true beauty. The resulting video has been viewed over 2 million times and features Howell’s story, some clients and the best line about beauty you may even hear.

“For a really long time, I equated beauty with femininity,” she says in the video. “And now I think there’s a million definitions of beautiful.” Q Friar Tucks is hosting a “Cash + Coats Fundraiser Saturday, Nov. 17, at its new location at 11 W. 1700 South. “The lovely folks from Raclette Machine will be joining us, slinging $6 plates of melted cheesy goodness and donating $1 from each plate sold to the Friar Tuck’s renovation fund for its new location, Also gracing us with his presence (and dreamy voice) is Justin Utley! Pinch me, I must be dreaming.”

MAKE IT BETTER | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

MAKE IT BETTER: Ron Steckler: Retired librarian hosts A little free library

BY TONY HOBDAY

TAKE BOOKS

From rural Chickaloon, Alaska to bustling Boston, Massachusetts, a new fad is making it’s way across the country, “little free libraries.” One Utah resident, Ron Steckler,

If you see something you’d like to read, take it! It’s for you. Some books include a note about who gave it or has read it. You may leave your own note in it when you’re done.

SHARE BOOKS When you’re finished with a book, you may pass it along to a friend or return it to this Library or any other Little Free Library.

LEAVE BOOKS

constructed one of these little birdhouse-like gems (but they don’t actually hang from a tree limb as far as we know) in his front yard in 2016, and he calls it the Millbridge Reading Exchange. The idea behind it is based on an honor system to either return or replace a book or movie at any curbside library.

To get the pages turning, Steckler posted a “grand opening” of his little free library on Facebook, with an explanation of how it works:

Your books are welcome at any Little Free Library. If your local Library is full, there may be another Library nearby that could use them. Especially desired are books you recommend to friends, your childhood favorites, and books that teach and spark conversation.

“I operate a little free library in our front yard. Lots of kids use it and the LGBT materials go fast. No one has vandalized it or abused it.

Neighbors stop and thank me,” Steckler posted.

This is why Steckler is considered one of QSaltLake’s spotlight Utah persons that helps people in the LGBT community.

Learn more about little library giveaways, little library building kits and more at LittleFreeLibrary.org

Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MAKE IT BETTER

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

MAKE IT BETTER

Connell O’Donovan: making life better for local LGBT refugees and those still waiting in African camps

BY KAYA DANAE

Apollo

Kann, a gay Ugandan refugee and HIV/AIDS education activist, landed in Salt Lake City after spending two years in Nairobi, Kenya, waiting to be resettled into the U.S. The first local contact he made was Connell O’Donovan, a genealogist and well-known activist for LGBT rights.

The next day Barnabas Wobilaya, Kann’s friend and fellow HIV/AIDS education activist, arrived in Salt Lake City from Nairobi.

“I’m professional friends with them,” O’Donovan said with a laugh. “It started out totally informally. Apollo sent me a friend request on Facebook and for whatever reason I accepted his request.”

After offering his help, O’Donovan arrived at the apartment that Kann, Wobilaya and two other Ugandan refugees had been placed in by the International Rescue Committee. O’Donovan immediately noticed that their apartment was sparsely furnished.

“The IRC had provided very minimal furniture, a table, two chairs, two beds, linens, basic soap, toothpaste and toothbrushes.

They showed up with a literal knapsack each, that was it,” O’Donovan said.

O’Donovan reached out to his social circle and explained the situation, saying, “They need everything. What can you give?” Within 24 hours a truck was filled with everything they could possibly need, including a La-Z-Boy chair and new TV. “I’ve just been a contact point with my circle of friends and the LGBT community at large — anything they need, they contact me. And I reach out and try to find it for them,” O’Donovan said.

He brought Kann and Wobilaya to thesUtahsPride Center, where they were introduced to executive director Carol Gnade. The Center had begun to establish a refugee subcommittee called The Heart and Home Project in Nov. 2016, but plans were changed when Donald Trump became president.

“We had been told by IRC that there would be 25 other LGBT refugees that would be coming from Uganda in June,” Gnade said in a phone interview. “We

started scrambling to get a program together for all of these people, but they never came.”

The Heart and Home Project proposed to distribute a pamphlet to resettlement agencies like the IRC and Catholic Community Services. These pamphlets would help teach refugees about the LGBT culture and resources in Salt Lake City. The

made through our volunteer programs can completely change their lives.”

O’Donovan grew emotional when he began explaining that Uganda is one of the worst countries to live in for the LGBT community.

“You would not believe the circumstances these [LGBT] refugees are coming from,” he said.

Apollo Kann, Barnabas Wobilaya and Connell O’Donovan at the Equality Utah Allies Dinner

project has been put on hold until more LGBT refugees are resettled into Utah.

UPC currently offers free counseling for LGBT folk and happily welcomes refugees who identify as LGBT. Several refugee resettlement agencies also offer counseling for refugees experiencing PTSD. But LGBT refugees are often hesitant to use the services in fear of being exposed and mistreated.

Aden Batar, the immigration and refugee resettlement director for CCS and the first Somalian refugee to step foot in Utah, stressed the importance of befriending refugees. “They [refugees] are leaving their homes, friends and families behind. It is very easy to become isolated.

The connections and friendships that are

In 2014, Uganda passed the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, in which being gay was punishable by death. It has since beensupdatedsand the penalty is now a lifetime prison sentence. It is not uncommon for the death penalty to be carried out in more rural areas.

Even if an LGBT Ugandan is placed in a refugee camp, conditions are not much better. A United Nations Refugee Camp in Kakuma, Kenya, has been known to treat its LGBT enclave especially inhumanely.

“There are about 250 [LGBT] refugees that are placed next to the shores of the river. When there is rain, they get flooded out, they’re constantly surrounded by mosquitoes. Several of them have malaria, but

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

they’re not getting medicine because they are not a priority. They are given ridiculous charges and sent to jail. The camp security will come by and beat the hell out of them,” said O’Donovan, who has been in contact with LGBT refugees staying at the camp.

Only five gay refugee men are known to be living in Salt Lake City, but two have not publicly come out in fear of being isolated from their own families and friends.

Many LGBT refugees live their lives in hiding and secrecy. Even outing themselves in order to be granted asylum can be too dangerous. As openly gay men and HIV/ AIDS education activists, Kann and Wobilaya said they have faced discrimination from fellow refugees here in Salt Lake City.

CCS and IRC have typically resettled approximatelys1,200srefugees in Utah each year. Globally, 53 percent of all refugees are from Afghanistan, Somalia and Syria, all of which outlaw (some punishable by death) being an active LGBT citizen. Organizations like these are essential in helping refugees resettle into Salt Lake City, but O’Donovan said that it is our responsibility as citizens to help our refugee neighbors feel welcome, especially those who may feel isolated in their own homes. Q O’Donovan has set up a GoFundMe account at gofundme.com/KakumaCamp to help with the living conditions of LGBT refugees held at the Kakuma Camp in Kenya. Donations go directly to the refugees, who purchase food and necessities and place messages of thanks, along with photos of the supplies, on a Facebook page at fb.me/ RefugeeFlagKakuma/. This story first appeared in Voices of Utah at voicesofutah.wordpress.com.

MAKE IT BETTER | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Unique Holıday Gifts

BY LINDA HUNT

Thanksgiving weekend signals the start of holiday shopping. To help you find the perfect gift for that discriminating person on your gift list, the Foothill Cultural District has launched its district wide Holiday Gift Shop Sale.

Unique and innovative gift shops abound within the Foothill Cultural District. Nine of the best museums, galleries, parks, event centers and hotel accommodations in Utah fill the three-square miles of the district. Bounded by the East Bench down to Liberty Park, the state’s finest cultural institutions feature memorable gifts of uncommon design and price.

Holiday shoppers will not only find quality gifts that are exciting, tasteful and informative, but through their purchases, will also directly support their favorite cultural attractions. All of the gift items have been carefully curated to reflect the individual qualities and personalities of each institution.

Patrons may select lavishly illustrated prints and fine art books at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts gift store. They may visit Hogle Zoo’s gift shop to discover innovative toys, games and casual wear for their children. Furthermore, they may choose from the beautifully illustrated Audubon books about the world’s avian populations, their habitats and customs at Tracy Aviary’s gift shop. From hand-crafted jewelry to the latest in dinosaur toys and collectibles, the Natural History Museum Store has an ever-evolving selection of memorabilia.

The gardening aficionado on your list will thrill at Red Butte Garden’s gifts of botanical beauty and wonder at the

illustrated books of Utah’s indigenous flora. This Is The Place Heritage Park features a veritable gift emporium that overflows with Native American jewelry, books and reminders a bygone Pioneer era.

Fort Douglas Military Museum’s gift store ranks among the most comprehensive purveyor of illustrated military history books from the Civil War to the present.

Or, for that special someone, give the gift of a weekend away at the gracious University Guest House Hotel, complete with luxurious amenities, complimentary breakfast and a breathtaking view of the Salt Lake Valley.

For the gift that keeps on giving all year, an annual membership to any of the attractions is guaranteed to return pleasure, fun and education as well as benefits such as member preview receptions, discounts at comparable museums, zoos and parks nationwide. An annual membership is a welcome gift for one person on your list or for an entire family.

Shopping at the Foothill Cultural District’s nonprofit gift shops is a chance to support local educational organizations, give back to the community through patronizing area institutions, support good causes, find unique and economical holiday gifts, and enjoy an entertaining and educational experience at favorite cultural attractions, all at the same time.

Gift cards are available and parking is free. Admission tickets to the attractions are not required to shop at the District’s shops. Each gift store is staffed with knowledgeable consultants to help you find the exact present you’ll be proud to give to even the most discerning recipient. Q

Events and hours at the Foothill Cultural District:

RED BUTTE GARDEN: HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE

UMFA STORE

Dec. 2–3, 10 a.m.

Sun., Nov. 26, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Museum Store Holiday Market Sat., Dec. 2, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

(Closed Monday)

HOGLE ZOO GIFT SHOP Zoolights Daily, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Dec. 1–31 / Closed Christmas Sun.–Wed., 5:30–9 p.m.

Thurs.–Sat., 5:30–10 p.m.

NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM GIFT SHOP

Christkindlmarkt Holiday Market is a unique shopping experience at This Is the Place Heritage Park

Fine jewelry, hand-crafted baskets and pottery are among the authentic Native American Arts at This Is The Place Heritage Park.

From 1857–1945, military history populates the shelves of Fort Douglas Military Museum

FORT DOUGLAS MUSEUM GIFT STORE

Daily, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

Wed., 10 a.m.–9 p.m.

Tracy Aviary Gift Shop Daily, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

THE TOWER AT RICE – ECCLES STADIUM

THIS IS THE PLACE: CHRISTKINDLMARKTS

Private Guided Tours Of Stadium And Tower (By appt)

Nov. 30–Dec. 2 11 a.m.–8 p.m.

Gift Shop At Visitors Center Daily, 9 a.m.–5 p.m.

UNIVERSITY GUEST HOUSE HOTEL DELUXE GIFT ACCOMMODATIONS

Tues.–Sat., Noon–5 p.m.

Reservations, 801–587–2980

What better way to ring in the holiday season than the gift of jeweled bells from Red Butte Garden?

HOLIDAY SHOPPING | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

Gift Certificates Available

VOTED BEST SUSHI

BY QSALTLAKE READERS IN THE 2008–2017 FABBY AWARDS

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Saturday, December 2 | 10 am–5 pm | FREE* *Free admission to market and permanent galleries

jewelry | pottery | ceramics | fiber and textile arts | books handmade soaps | notecards | painting and prints fused glass | beadwork | artisanal edibles | holiday decor MARCIA AND JOHN PRICE MUSEUM BUILDING 410 Campus Center Drive Salt Lake City, UT 84112-0350

umfa.utah.edu/museum-store | #umfa

Utagawa Hiroshige I, Evening Snow at Kambara “No 16 Kambara yoru no yuki” Japanese, 1833–1834, detail, woodcut, paper, gift of Mr. and Mrs. James L. Franken, UMFA1938.004

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Unique Holıday Gifts

Custom work of art by one of Tracy Aviary’s greatest artists – PICASSO, the blue and gold macaw. Give the gift of an original Picasso!

Birds of many feathers await savvy holiday shoppers at Tracy Aviary.

Celebrate the fine art of the holidays. Shop Utah Museum of Fine Arts

Have your holiday affair where earth meets the heavens — at the Tower at Rice-Eccles Stadium

Wreath Ornament Amaryllis

AMARYLLIS

ORNAMENT

WREATH

Hand-crafted art at This Is the Place.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

Rio Grande market offers local and specialty foods The Rio Grande Winter Market, a project of Urban Food Connections of Utah, will return to Downtown SLC on Saturday, Nov. 11, at the Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St. With more than 65 local vendors, listed at slcfarmersmarket. org the market is held every Saturday, through April 21, 10 a.m.–2 p.m.

An abundant harvest of produce will be available at the Market, thanks to farmers with cold storage capabilities and ambitions greenhouse and hoop house growers. Shoppers can expect many items suitable for upcoming holiday meals such as squash, onions, potatoes, carrots, beets, apples, garlic and several varieties of fresh greens.

There’s a wide array of local and specialty products, including grass-fed meats, specialty cheeses, honey, jam, salsa, spreads and more. This diverse range of products includes artisan baked goods and six local natural meat purveyors featuring beef, lamb, poultry, pork and eggs. Many of the products available are unique to the Market.

“We’ve been working toward a yearround market for five years now, so this is

just tremendously exciting for us to host a market every Saturday in the winter months,” says Alison Einerson, executive director of Urban Food Connections of Utah. “We are now able to connect consumers with farmers and food producers every week, nearly all year long. It’s an enormous economic opportunity for our vendors, and for our local economy.”

Now in it’s fifth season, the Rio Grande Winter Market is an important step in continuing the success of the Downtown Farmers Market at Pioneer Park on a year-round basis. Providing a crucial opportunity for growers and producers, the Rio Grande Winter Market also acts as a precursor to a future year-round Public Market, a key project of the Downtown Rising Action Plan.

Hosting a Winter Market at the Rio Grande Depot also offers an opportunity to provide additional exposure for the programs and resources found at the Rio Grande Depot, which are overseen by the Utah Department of Heritage and Arts.

These include the Rio Gallery and The Utah Division of State History.

Everything from Angels to Zen

12896 S Pony Express Rd Suite 200 in Draper (just north of IKEA) 801.333.3777 www.ilovelotus.com

LotusStore

BookwormSez these reads are great for Xmas

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

The love – and troubles – between mother and son is at the heart of “OUTSIDE IS THE OCEAN” by Matthew Lansburgh, a new short story collection that has a common arc. It’s about a mother with a troubled life, who believes her gay son has forgotten her. It’s about family, and love.

Pair it with “TRANS GENDENT: THE YEAR’S BEST TRANSGENDER SPECULATIVE FICTION” edited by Bogi Takacs. It’s full of collected tales of fantasy, horror and just plain weirdness.

Why do we even need genders? If that’s a question your giftee asks often, then look for “BEYOND TRANS: DOES GENDER MATTER?” by Heath Fogg Davis. This book takes a good look at why

we have genders and the four particular places in everyday life where we should think about abolishing any mention of differences.

If your giftee loves his books a bit on the spiritual side, then “OWLS DON’T HAVE TO MEAN DEATH” by Chip Livingston is the book to wrap.

It’s the story of a Florida Creek man who learns many lessons from his ancestors, but will that help him when illness strikes someone he loves?

For someone who’s on the journey to understanding and acceptance, “GAY GRINGO: A MEMOIR” by Roy Langridge may be a great choice. Just be aware, before wrapping it, that this self-published book includes some steamy scenes.

GAY WRITES

A DiverseCity Series writing group A program of Salt Lake Community College’s Community Writing Ctr. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 pm, Salt Lake City Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

ANNUAL EVENTS

MOVIES

The Big Gay “Winter Wonderland” Bus(es) are mostly primped and polished for the trek along Interstate 80 to “palmy” Wendover ... Yes, “palmy” is a Big Gay Dictionary word for what happens in Wendover and/or on the bus(es), stays there. Just remember to secure those packages with Scotch tape, baby!

We love the SLMC, especially ‘til Dennis McCracken comes … and comes around again, and Michael Aaron pearls the earth.

The bestest is the Kurt Bestor Christmas. The annual concert will make your heart twinkle.

And nobody’s deliverance is better than the songbirds of Park City … they make Salt Lakers eat worms, or so “The Voice” says so?

Based on the life of Try-Angles’ Gene Nate, “The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room, The Greatest Bad Film Ever Made” (Haha!), is the basis of the new film “The Disaster Artist,” starring the Franco brothers … way better than the Menendez bros.

Tony’s Gay Agenda 2

SATURDAY — BIG GAY FUN BUS TO WENDOVER

Club Try-Angles, 251 W. Harvey Milk Blvd, 12-9pm.

Tickets $25, biggayfunbus.com

BY TONY HOBDAY

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

8 14

FRIDAY — SALT LAKE MEN’S CHOIR: ‘TIL THE SEASON COMES ROUND AGAIN

First Baptist Church, 777 S, 1300 East, times vary, through Sunday. Tickets $15, good for any performance, saltlakemenschoir.org

THURSDAY — A KURT BESTOR CHRISTMAS

Delta Performance Hall, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main St, 8pm, through Saturday. Tickets$25-50, artsaltlake.org — Holiday Spectacular and Sing-A-Long Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, times vary, through Sunday. Tickets $19-25, egyptiantheatrecompany. com

CONCERTS Gaga, gaga, oh-la-la … sounds like Michael Aaron in his hot tub. Just sayin’. Not that the Lady would complain, right?

14

THURSDAY — LADY GAGA: JOANNE WORLD TOUR

Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 S. West Temple, 7:30pm. Tickets $46-226, smithstix.com

DANCE/BALLET t’s Been A While Dance Company s(sounds like my love life, but I’m svelte!), presents “Movement Never Lies” and neither does my left toe. Experience change through the eyes of Martha Graham, the founder of modern dance. Discover how her life and experiences influenced her own dancing and brought forth a new era of dance.

The Tooele Valley Academy of Dance, the “Snow Queen,” off of Interstate 80, has hijacked the Big Gay Fun Bus numerous times. But don’t point toes!

2 4

SATURDAY — MOVEMENT NEVER LIES Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7pm. Tickets $8, artsaltlake.org

MONDAY — THE SNOW QUEEN BALLET Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7pm. Tickets $10, artsaltlake.org

8

FRIDAY — THE DISASTER ARTIST Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS Celebrate the holidays “1960’s style” with The Midtown Men – four stars from the original cast of Broadway’s “Jersey Boys.” Enjoy a thrilling holiday performance with the Utah Symphony featuring yuletide classics such as “Winter Wonderland,” “Let It Snow,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and more.

A Drag Queen Christmas – The Naughty Tour features contestants from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” performing live on stage and rocking the catwalk. It’s an evening of holiday songs and outstanding drag performances by your favorite queens.

12 17

TUESDAY — HOLIDAY HITS WITH MIDTOWN MEN AND THE UTAH SYMPHONY

Abravanel Hall, 123 S. West Temple, 7:30pm. Tickets $29-85, artsaltlake.org

SUNDAY — A DRAG QUEEN CHRISTMAS Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 8pm. Tickets $50-100, artsaltlake.org

THEATRE Inspired by the real-life newsboy strike of 1899, the Disney movie-turned-hit-Broadway-musical, “Newsies,” shas something for everyone — acrobatic dancing, heartfelt songs and a rousing story of underdogs taking on the establishment — all rolled into a feel-good evening of family entertainment.

It’s based on the book by Harvey Fierstein … not Weinstein.

Ei-ei-o!

Deborah Cox, singer-songwriter and actress, takes on the role that made Whitney Houston forego Hurricane Harvey … too soon? Anyhoo, Houston, both the diva and city, deserve our respect and support, and Cox is the perfect, and only choice, for the medium.

1 5

FRIDAY — NEWSIES

Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU, times vary, through Dec. 20. Tickets $42-69, pioneertheatrecompany.org

TUESDAY — THE BODYGUARD

Delta Performance Hall, Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main St., times vary, through Dec. 10. Tickets $30-100, artsaltlake.org

UPCOMING EVENTS Feb. 6, THE KILLERS, smithstix.com Jan.6, MONICA LEWINSKY, ecclescenter.org July 11-17, HAMILTON, artsaltlake.org

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

Best films you haven’t seen

After Louie

BY MIKEY ROX

Over

network TV? Tired of Hulu?

Seen everything on Netflix?

Dig a little deeper to find meaningful and surprisingly well-executed LGBT films making the festival rounds this fall.

The Lavender Scare A documentary detailing the homosexual witch hunt sanctioned by the U.S. government in the 1950s (made possible by then-Senator Joseph McCarthy’s anticommunism campaign), “The Lavender Scare” — which has been in production since at least 2013, but only released last year — follows several subjects, including lifelong LGBT activist Frank Kemeny, as they tell their harrowing stories of humiliation, blackmail, and dismissal of civil service for what amounts to nothing more than keeping their private lives private. This eye-opening doc is still making the rounds — recently winning awards at film fests in Atlantic City; Fargo, North Dakota; Hartford, Connecticut; Kansas City; and Memphis — but you may find it among the screenings at an art-house theater or LGBT film festival near you. If not, call your local indie joint and request it.

Close-Knit You might not expect one of the most progressive trans films ever made to emerge from Japan, especially considering that’s it’s the first trans film to come from the country ever, but it makes sense for “Close-Knit,” a surprising narrative that focuses on the beating heart of a blended-by-circumstance family. The film takes issue with the trans plot line as an aside, and rather pays attention to the bond formed between a young girl and her uncle’s male-to-female partner during the absence of her oft-missing mother.

The film, directed by Naoko Ogigami, took home the top prize at the Far East Film Festival in Udine, Italy; Best Narrative Feature at the Tel Aviv International LGBT Film Festival; and the Teddy Jury Award at the Berlin International Film Festival.

Families Like Yours Underwritten by Bristol-Meyers Squibb, Wells Fargo, and the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, “Families Like Yours” showcases through candid interviews the challenges of raising an LGBT family in America — which, for all intents and purposes, is not unlike raising a “traditional” family in America (the whole point of this documentary) — as it introduces us to the LGBT men and women called mommy and daddy by their children, including out actor Denis O’Hare, husband Hugo Redwood and adopted son Declan. The film recently screened at Fort Lauderdale’s OUTshine Film Festival, following its July premiere in New York City presented by Deutsche Bank.

God’s Own Country There’s a lot to like about Britain’s “God’s Own Country” before you even sit down to watch it. If its Sundance Film Festival cred doesn’t attract you, it was the only UK-based movie to feature in the world drama category at this year’s event — perhaps its 98-percent approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes will do the trick. Drawing comparison to “Brokeback Mountain” (which admittedly is an easy association for our community with any material portraying rough sex in a rural setting between two partners who don’t consider themselves “gay”), “God’s Own Country” at least does right where that Best Picture Oscar nominee broke our hearts by pursuing a happy ending. Even if that is relative nowadays.

Artist and ACT UP activist Sam (Alan Cumming), who lived through the early years of the HIV/AIDS crisis, is disillusioned by Millennials’ possible disregard for the disease as they solicit casual sex through social media with seemingly no regard for the consequences while simultaneously resting on their political laurels at a time when activism is quite necessary. But just when Sam thinks there’s no hope for our LGBT future in the hands of 20-somethings, along comes young, pretty Braeden to revive his cold, dead heart (figuratively, of course). IndieWire’s Jude Dry calls it “one of the most exciting queer films of 2017 so far.” Doubling down on that sentiment, Los Angeles Blade’s John Paul King says, “‘After Louie’ may well be the most important gay movie you see in your lifetime.”

High Low Forty Long-estranged brothers Billy and Joe reconnect during a road trip to their native Texas to be by their dying father’s side. The sibs haven’t seen each other in a while because after Billy was discharged from the Army, he beat feet to Los Angeles, the reason for which plays out over the long ride home (though you’ve probably already guessed why). Directed, written by and starring Paddy Quinn, “High Low Forty” won Best Narrative Feature at this year’s GI Film Festival in San Diego.

Rift Iceland – if you’re not aware – has a solid track record for producing attention-commanding queer films (if you haven’t found “Heartstone” yet, track it down), and “Rift” is no exception. This thriller/horror-mystery finds ex-boyfriends Gunnar and Einar holed up together in BFI (that’s Bumfuck, Iceland for the uninitiated) haunted by their past and a few bumps in the night. The film won the Artistic Vision Award at L.A. Outfest 2017 and is scheduled for limited theatrical release on Nov. 21.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He lives with his dog Jaxon.

Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

the yodeler

The selfie animalia, part 1

BY RYAN HAYMORE

There are Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

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pages Get in the 2017 directory of Utah’s LGBT-friendly businesses today by calling 801-997-9763 or emailing sales@qsaltlake.com

so many selfies to take, so many backdrops, so many angles, so much lighting, and so much to choose from in this world of roving, virtual make believe. There is the smolder, the opened mouth smile, the sensual grin, and more to choose from regarding facial expression. [Editor’s note, except the duck lips.

Please, no duck lips.] We are a selfie people. We are a selfie culture. I think it’s good to believe in yourself and “believe in your selfie.”

This makes me wonder about how selfies have changed society and us in tandem. Then, I get to thinking about smiles in general. And whenever I think of something generally I go immediately and analyze myself. Personally, I’m fond of taking open-mouth smile selfies. I drink copious amounts of coffee out of a tiny, little straw to avoid stains, and I use peroxide in my toothpaste. Needless to say, I have teeth as sensitive as an open nerve ending, but they are rather white, considering my diet. I want to make sure when I flash my smile I channel a more porcelain sheen as opposed to a George Washington wood-brown hue. When I smile I open my mouth so you can see quite a bit of teeth; I’m a wide smiler even when I’m not trying to be.

This brings me to my point: apparently, as I was feeling my oats (with my sensitive teeth) and posting streams of my open-mouth selfies, I caught the attention of a friend who was really channeling Carl Linnaeus (the man who followed Aristotle in the animal classification). The next time I saw this friend, I was accused of

chronically keeping my mouth opened while grinning.

I just

explained that that’s how I smile and they can kiss my grits if they have anything negative to say. This friend, not trying to be rude, took their assertion further and labeled me a “crocodile selfie-taker”.

Animals? Selfies? Two worlds colliding? Sweet Jesus this can’t be happening. When I think of handsome or cute selfies, I don’t think of crocs!

Apparently, the way a crocodile sits idly with its teeth showing and its mouth agape struck this friend the same way the larger portion of my selfies do. In this friend’s mind, in my selfies I look like a crocodile laying about on its belly and assaulting the world with an onslaught of toothy grins.

I stood there after this classification and wondered exactly what animals I channel while taking my selfies. Thus, I must ask: what characteristics do you exhibit when you selfie? What animalistic characteristics have you seen lurking about the facial expressions both in the wild and in the deep of our social media jungle? What animal do you channel when you selfie? Q

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

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DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

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36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

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M A S S AG E

TA R O T

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8

Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays, 11a at UPC SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/ 1to5ClubUtah

SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League  prideleague.com  pcsl@prideleague.com

Get Outside Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah Men Who Move  menwhomove.org

Q Kickball League  qkickball.com Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park

OUTreach Utah  outreachutah.org Ogden, 3350 Harrison, 2nd, 4th Weds, 4-6pm Logan, 596 E 900 N — Fri, 4:30-7:30pm

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org

qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com

Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime

Rainbow Classic Car Don R. Austin 801-485-9225

Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah  fb.me/stonewall. sportsofutah

Sage Utah  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203

Venture Out Utah  fb.me/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah

Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org Weekly dances every other Thurs 7p at UPC 801-449-1293

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Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org

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umen.org

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Volunteers of America Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545

Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824

Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  thecenter@ utahpridecenter.org 255 E 400 S 801-539-8800

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Northern Utah HIV/ AIDS Project Walk-Ins Tues Noon–5pm 536 24th St, Ste 2B, Ogden 801-393-4153

POLITICAL

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YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600

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Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6–7:30pm Utah Pride Center. 255 East and 400 South in Salt Lake City.

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Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org Gay and Lesbianspecific meetings: Sundays 3p Acceptance Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Mondays 7p Gay Men’s Stag (Big Book Study), UPC, 255 E 400 S 8p G/Q Women’s Mtg, Disability Law Center (rear), 205 N 400 W Tuesday 8:15p Live & Let Live, UPC, 255 E 400 S Wednesday 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Friday 8p Stonewall Group, UPC, 255 E 400 S Crystal Meth Anon crystalmeth.org Thursday 1:30p Unity In Sobriety, UPC, 255 E 400 S

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National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

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Qmmunity Groups

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Salt Lake Community College Equality Involvement Club 8 facebook.com/slcc. equality University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 Univ. of Utah Queer Student Union utahqsu@gmail.com USGA at BYU  byuusga.wordpress.com  fb.co/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  discord.me/ spectrumatuvu  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State Univ Faculty/Staff GayStraight Alliance  organizations.weber. edu/fsgsa  fsgsa@weber.edu Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 3885 W Campus Dr, Student Services Ctr, Suite 154 Dept. 2125 801-626-7271

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

book review

REVIEW: TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

“Wedlocked: The Perils of Marriage Equality”

by Katherine Franke c.2015, New York University Press $26, 275 pp You’re not in any hurry.

The ring’s on your finger, the engagement was just announced, and you both feel like you’ve got plenty of time. Now’s your chance to enjoy the process of getting married. Here’s your opportunity to plan the future. But “Wedlocked: The Perils of Marriage Equality”

by Katherine Franke asks the question: why marry at all?

When President George Washington died, his will stipulated that his slaves be given their freedom when his wife, Martha, who inherited them, would die.

This, says Katherine Franke, accidentally “put a price on” Martha’s head but moreover, it was an acknowledgment on Washington’s part that shows one complexity of slavery: marriage between the Washington slaves meant that freeing his without freeing hers could break up families. This issue, and others before and after the Civil War, illustrates how “many of the experiences of African Americans held out a message to the same-sex marriage movement today.”

Throughout American history, Franke says, the “rules” of marriage for non-white or gay individuals hid a double-edged sword of enhanced rights and enforced matrimonial laws complicated by pre-Emancipation fluidity of relationships and looser definitions of “marriage” within African American communities then; and by somewhat of a lack of awareness in the LGBT community, complicated

by different state laws now. The bottom line that’s often not emphasized: when a couple marries, the state suddenly “acquires a legal interest in your relationship.” Now, as then, marriage may also be legally “forced” on a couple: in the case of former slaves, to gain benefits in wartime; for LGBT couples, in the continuation of health benefits.

Even after all that, marriage, as Franke reminds readers, has never offered a guarantee from discrimination.

Is it possible, Franke asks, that “the inability to marry creates a kind of freedom from the ‘bonds’ of marriage?” At a time when the rates of marriage in the Black community are low and LGBT parents are demanding new legal definitions of “family,” will marriage become antiquated? Or is the “freedom” to marry just another way for society to meddle in the lives of marginalized individuals?

Surely, few readers would consider “Wedlocked” a fun weekend read. It’s not exactly what you’d take to the beach with you. Fun, no. Interesting, absolutely.

It’s also quite thought-provoking. Author Katherine Franke is, in part, Director of the Center for Gender and Sexuality Law at Columbia University, and in this book, she asks hard questions between jaw-dropping history lessons and proof that marriage is both burden and boon to anyone who’s not white and straight.

That’s not to say that the institution is dead; instead, Franke wonders if, of all rights denied former slaves and gay individuals, marriage may’ve been the oddest choice for legal battles.

But which other right would’ve been better? The answer to that seems to be left open for discussion; indeed, readers are given much to ponder from this heavy-duty, scholarly book. Just beware that time is the key to opening “Wedlocked,” now in paperback.

Enjoy and contemplate, but don’t be in any hurry. Q

Hidden Quote ACROSS 1 A bit of dialogue from this movie is hidden in the circled letters of this puzzle 8 Frida’s celebrations 15 Emulate Dr. Kildare 16 They may penetrate your enemies 17 He rubs you the right way 18 Remove a light bulb 19 Painting and such, to da Vinci 20 By ___ of (owing to) 22 Craig Claiborne’s gumbo pod 23 Maiden name preceder 25 “C’est Moi,” to King Arthur 27 “That’s the pot calling the kettle beige,” e.g.

30 Bones in the pelvic area 31 Picks up 35 Position firmly 37 “Our” to Pasolini 39 From ___ Z (the whole shebang) 40 Inventor’s monogram 41 Pre-Epstein Beatle Sutcliffe 42 NATO turf 43 Electrifying speech 45 Carol of Broadway 47 Member of the opposition

48 Distribute sparingly 50 One that ought to be paddled 51 Poke in the backside 53 In an excited state, perhaps 54 Actor Johnson and others 56 Shakespeare’s Othello, for one 58 Soprano Gluck 62 Gertrude Stein portraitist 64 Frilly mats 66 Michelangelo, e.g.

67 Game divisions for Pallone 68 Good fortune that comes on you suddenly 69 Proded DOWN 1 What you might be in when you’re out 2 On ___ with 3 Top 4 It goes with old lace on Broadway 5 Charlotte of Facts of Life 6 Piece for Liberace 7 She played Lois to Dean’s Clark 8 Tutti’s partner 9 McKellen of Gods and Monsters 10 Coarse salt in the tub 11 Reacts to homophobia, perhaps 12 Ariz., once

13 Drama, to Tennessee Williams 14 180 from NNE 21 Aida backdrop 24 Hog the stage 26 He comes once a year 27 Ben Stiller’s mother Anne 28 Chekov in the Star Trek movie 29 Strikes through 30 Dick Button’s milieu 32 Had oral sex at home?

33 “Versace On The Floor” singer Mars 34 He drilled Gomer Pyle 36 Elaine ___ (Taxi role) 38 Pound portion 41 Lauper’s “___ Bop” 44 Traffic lights, e.g.

45 African queen 46 Writer Barney 49 Donny of Dreamcoat 52 Davis of King 53 Mr. ___ (1996 DeGeneres film) 54 The Celluloid Closet author Russo 55 West Point, e.g. (abbr.)

57 Garfield’s whipping boy 59 Swedish soprano Jenny 60 “Let ___ Lover” 61 Grp. or org.

62 One in a fairy tale threesome 63 ___ Francisco 65 Having one sharp, to Bernstein

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Level: Easy

9 8 1 9 5 2

6 1 5

2 3 5 9

1 5 4 3 5 1

6

9

7 5 9

3

1 8 2

5

5 7

5

6 1 1 4 2 3 1 7 8 5 3 1 8 9 4 5 3 6 7 2 8 8 3 6 8 4 1 2 3 3 4 9

5 7 7 9

1 2

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9 8 2

9 8 5

7 6 1 9

1 2 9 7 6 5 2 9 7 4 3 5 8 5 7 1 2 9 7 8 6 2 4 3

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4 1

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2 6

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6 8 9 1

6 9 7 1 4 3

3 4 2 5 2

1 6

5 1 8 7

9

5 1 9 8

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providing a tactful response. Be the bigger person.

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

CANCER June 21–July 22 When times get tough, get tougher. There is an aggressive nature to those around you and it’s starting to take a toll. Don’t settle for less and demonstrate to others what you see in them. If things get too unbearable with a friend, walk away for a bit. There isn’t enough time in life for everyone’s demands, so lay down the law.

ARIES March 20–April 19 Don’t let a rumor get out of hand. People talk, but that doesn’t imply much thought on their part. Set the record straight, but don’t get too wild in your defense. Less is more in this case.

Find a hobby or pastime that gets your mind focused on the tasks you want to accomplish. Life is all about give and take, so take it away, Aries!

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Things have been a tad hectic lately regarding a friendly matter. It may be time to simply get out of the way. Take a moment to adjust and prepare to start over soon. The social scene is getting a tad too cozy, so put the focus on one or two friends instead.

Nothing says you have to be there all the time for other people now.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Something you created is stirring up a lot of talk. Whether it is an art piece or a writing composition, it’s getting noticed. While not all the feedback is good, the exposure should be very much welcome. Take time to let others say what they think, and give some thought before

LEO July 23–August 22 Career has always been important and you need to be at the top of the chain. Being new or stuck at the bottom has never been okay, but keep in mind that value is determined by character, not rank. Thrive where you are and satisfaction you seek will come. Stay low and don’t ruffle feathers too much with a helpfully coworker.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 No one said a relationship or close friendship is easy so don’t pretend that a smooth ride was promised. Get a grip and re-organize if life is getting bit messy. There is nothing wrong with the scattered ways of others if you can find solid ground. Spend time alone and enjoy the solo life for a while if you must to

find pleasure.

and good spirits.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 A tidy little box of love doesn’t really contain the emotional complexity you desire. Make it a point to break the mold and create something new and exciting. While it may seem hard on someone you care about, it is all about you right now. Don’t alienate those who matter, but don’t forget that you might owe an explanation!

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 Don’t go to extremes, but find middle ground to accomplish a long-desired goal. Black and white is simply the basics of thinking. In order to find a balance, compromise is key. Figure out what you really want, and make a play for it when working with others. It may not turn out exactly as planned, which may be better.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 While the perception of others isn’t important to you, keep in mind that others see you as high maintenance at times. Don’t be someone else’s problem and make sure to keep your attitude in check. It’s not all about you at this time and that is to your benefit. A good friend is planning a surprise for you and it’s going to be fun.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 The key to a problem lies within an emotional attachment you’ve been ignoring. Family and friends try to show what it means to be cared for, leading to a rebellious act that isn’t required.

Instead, show gratitude and share what independence means to you. The more you try and fight, the less likely you are to prevail. So chill.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

Before judging someone else, make sure your nose is clean. The desire to defend could put you in the middle of a feud you weren’t expecting. Be objective and realize that you are no better or worse than someone else. If that means accepting flaws as a part of life, so be it.

At least you’ll know you have integrity

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Something has been bothering you, but it’s possibly an overreaction. A friendship or work relationship has been challenging a perception that may actually be unwise. There is more to the situation than it seems and a questioning of faith is bound to occur. Don’t worry. There is no wrong position to be in right now, so experiment. Q

SEPT. 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

positive thoughts

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

Surviving with Style

BY JEFF BERRY

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

—Maya Angelou

I remember

as a young child wanting to be “popular.” Being popular meant you were part of the “in” crowd, had lots of friends, and were the life of the party. Everyone wanted to be with you; near you…they even wanted to be you.

I recall at one point fantasizing that if I were on crutches, then I would be popular. I guess I thought that everyone would want to sign my cast, provide comfort and consolation, and hold doors open for me. I must have pushed to the back of my mind the unsettling fact that I would have to break a bone to get there, and all that came along with it — the pain, the rehabilitation, the scar.

I tried my hardest to fit in, but I was always a bit different from an early age — soft-spoken, shy, and let’s just say, not the athletic type.

When all the other boys were playing football or tag at recess, I would be playing wall ball with the girls.

Eventually, I would be bullied at school on a regular basis; they called me “Fairy Berry” (I hated that) and would snap their towels at me in the gym locker room. Add to that the onset of puberty and the raging hormones that came with it, having sex regularly by sixth grade with the boy who lived down the road, and then the sexual abuse by my father, and it’s a wonder I even survived.

I attempted various ways of coping over the years, but nothing seemed to completely wipe away the internalized feelings of shame and unworthiness that lie deep inside. That feeling that was

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inevitably still there when I came down from the high; the feeling I was never quite able to drown out no matter how much sex I had…and I had a lot.

In 1989, just a few weeks before my 31st birthday, I received the devastating news: “You’re HIV-positive.” I had finally found my crutch, and the scars that came with it, but somehow it didn’t make me popular.

Fast-forward almost 30 years later, and time has given me, at least I hope, some perspective. I find that I’m much more empathetic and forgiving (at least part of the time!), because I’ve been there. I see my own life reflected back to me when I hear other people’s stories of pain and trauma.

I’ve come to realize that each of us has our own path to survival and resilience; we just may be at different time points on the journey. Just as those who have led the way in front of me have picked me up and helped me along, I too try to offer a hand to those on the path behind me.

Recently I was able to indulge myself in an old passion of mine — deejaying. I was honored to be able to spin at Club Metro in Chicago in late August for Chuck Renslow’s memorial and the last White Party. I worked for Chuck (who was an early champion of gay rights in Chicago starting in the 1950s and the founder of International Mr. Leather) for about five or six years as a DJ in the late ’80s

and early ’90s. Going back to my first love — music — all these years later was scary, but ultimately fulfilling. When I was initially asked back in July I immediately jumped at the opportunity and said yes. But then doubt started to creep in when I realized I would not be using any of my old vinyl or turntables, and would have to do everything digitally using a computer. I practiced, practiced, practiced, had a blast, and people seemed to have fun and were dancing (the ultimate litmus test for a DJ). The point is, if you have a chance to follow your passion, go for it. You only go around once (and I’m not talking records on a turntable!).

I think one key to my survival has been the love of family and friends. I was lucky; I realize not everyone gets that (but you can choose your own family if you need to). My mom made me believe I could do anything. And Dad, in his own way that somehow got twisted up along the way, loved me too.

So I’m not just surviving, but thriving, as Ms. Angelou so eloquently put it. Passion?

Check. Compassion? I’d like to think so. Humor? A must.

And style? I leave that up to you to decide.

Take care of yourself, and each other. Q Jeff Berry is the editor of Positively Aware magazine, the leading national HIV treatment magazine published by a notfor-profit AIDS service organization TPAN, in Chicago. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody.com, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.

ADVICE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

mr. manners

Thank You, Charlie Brown

BY ROCK MAGEN

For me the

holiday season starts when I see that first airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” on local television. Just hearing Vince Guaraldi’s piano composition “Linus and Lucy” puts me in the holiday spirit. However, I admit that this was not always the case. Like for many of us in the LGBT community, the holidays can be extremely stressful and bring back to light potential family contentions.

There was a period in my life when I hadn’t been home for Christmas in years.

The excuse was always that the holidays stress me out or that work needed additional coverage — which isn’t untrue.

The bigger truth was I didn’t want to spend time with my family. If your family is anything like mine,sChristmas is when everyone comes together and airs the grievances they’ve been holding onto all year.sHowever, the change for me came the year that after all the grievances, my family had teary expressions of love and forgiveness.

There is often so much pressure to be joyous and to share “the most wonderful time of the year.” It can be especially hard for those of us who feel wounded by various ghosts of the holiday season. Family dynamics can be hard at the best of times — during the holiday season it can reach a torturous crescendo. Each situation is different. In my case it took a significant shift of mindset to get to that point, and many of us are not in a place where our families are ready to love and forgive. Regardless of your situation, here are a few things to keep in mind when dealing with the stresses of the holiday season.

Remember you are not alone. Mostly, our day-to-day lives are lived with people who care for and support us emotionally.

We’ve created our own families. We’ve created routines that encourage and nur-

ture us. We’ve developed our own beliefs.

The holidays can totally upset that. Even the mentally healthiest among us can be challenged by relatives and parents, regardless of acceptance or support.

So, the first step is to recognize this and beware of your anxiety. Take a moment to step back and breathe. We have all seen the multiple posters that read, Keep Calm and Carry On — now is the time to put that into practice. The holidays are a temporary stressor. Most of us can survive something for a few days. Knowing when it will end will help you in strategically getting yourself through it.

Finally, if all else fails, give yourself an out and walk away. If you must spend an extended amount of time with family,

work some down time into the schedule.

Removing yourself from the situation can be vital, and it can be done gracefully. “I just need some alone time” is something that almost anyone will respect. Regardless of what you decide to do, it is important to remember that people are going to think what they think.

No matter how hard I try, my thoughts and actions may not change that in the brief amount of time I spend with my family during the holiday season. I like to focus on the part of the season I love, and at always starts with “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Find what you love about the season and hold it close — no matter the situation, your relatives can’t take that away from you. Q

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

the frivolist

10 reasons I’m thankful I’m gay

BY MIKEY ROX

Like many

of you, I was once confused about my sexual orientation.

There were times as a teenager that I would stand in front of my bathroom mirror, staring into my own eyes, and cry — trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why did I feel so different?

Why wasn’t I like the other boys? Even after I came out in my early 20s, despite having mostly come to terms with being gay, I sometimes wished I were straight.

Life would be so much easier that way.

But as you know, with age comes wisdom — and self-acceptance. Now, in my mid-30s, I look back on that time and reflect on just how wrong I was. Because I’ve learned over the years that being gay is a blessing — even when it was in disguise.

As the holidays approach and we express gratitude for all that we have, I give thanks that I’m a homosexual — a proud one. Here are 10 reasons why.

1.

Compassion and empathy come naturally

Being picked on, called a “faggot” by your classmates, and physically and emotionally abused by your family aren’t easy things to reconcile as a gay adolescent and young adult — especially when I felt completely alone in the world — but there was a silver lining: Instead of letting those circumstances undermine who I am, I turned the pain into something positive.

I know what it feels like to be called names and spat on and beaten for being different, and every day those memories inform how I treat others. In hindsight, I’ve realized that many people lack compassion and empathy because they’ve never known what it feels like to need and want it. Which sort of makes you wonder, doesn’t it? If we all started beating the bigots’ asses, maybe they’d start to recognize how just a little kindness goes a long way. Santa, if you’re listening…

2.

No accidental babies

There’s a slang term you may know called “gold star gay.” Its definition is somewhat loose. Some define it as a gay person never having

intercourse with the opposite sex while others tighten the criteria to include ever being in a romantic relationship with the opposite sex. I’ve had girlfriends in the past — and we’ve done things, however begrudgingly on my part — but I’ve never had penetrative sex with a woman (even though I still consider the prospect from time to time, but I’ll save that for a future column). Does this make me a gold star gay? That’s debatable, I suppose, but I’m certain I’m not a daddy. To biological offspring, anyway.

3.

I wouldn’t know half the people I love

People come into our lives for all kinds of reasons, but when you’re gay you meet and befriend people on a regular basis just because you’re gay. As I try to quantify the relationships that I have, I realize that I wouldn’t know half my friends and acquaintances (and former lovers, of course) if I weren’t attracted to the same sex. Putting that alone into perspective satisfies my soul.

4.

I’ve helped change people’s minds about the LGBT community

I grew up in a family and in a town and in an era that had rarely, if ever, seen a gay person who wasn’t a drag queen or a pedophile or dying of AIDS, which, to be honest, has helped me forgive a lot of people for their ignorance. They didn’t know any better because they didn’t have personal experience with our kind. I like to think that’s why the universe gave me to them. Not to put me through years of angst and duress, but rather to open their closed minds and hearts to that which was unfamiliar — and I think I’ve done a good job so far.

5.

Naked men

I can appreciate the human body in all its form — being a homosexual doesn’t exempt me from recognizing a beautiful woman when I see one — but the naked, medium-hairy, reasonably fit man, according to my own bias, is the greatest gift, for which I will never need a receipt.

6.

I live by my own rules

I spent my entire life up to the day I no longer had to rely on my parents for financial support, apologizing for being gay and trying to appease those who didn’t understand what that means.

A decade-plus later I’ve come a long way.

Today, I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks about my sexual orientation. This is my life. Come along or don’t, but this ride isn’t stopping for anybody.

7.

My open-mindedness grants me access to experiences that many people are afraid of

From sexual exploration to building a life in the heart of Harlem, to marching in pride parades, being gay has opened up the world wider to me, and I’m better for it.

I’m living my truth and learning every day about all the different people with whom I share this planet. So many cisgender men and women don’t or (most often) won’t allow themselves to experience what they’re unfamiliar with or undereducated about, and spend their entire lives scared, defensive and bitter.

8.

My life would be completely different — and I love it just the way it is

Who knows where I’d be if I were straight. Married with kids? Single and feeling sorry for myself? Watching SportsCenter while stuffing my face with pepperoni Hot Pockets and masturbating to lesbian porn? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.)

The point is, my life would be different.

It would’ve been different from the time I was a toddler, and I don’t like that idea.

Everything I’ve ever said and done, all the people I’ve met along the way, the amazing relationship I’m in now has everything to do with me being gay, and I’m proud of it.

Early on if you’d have asked me to make a choice, I would’ve chosen to not feel different, to be like the other boys.

But that’s not what the world needed; there are plenty of “other” boys. There’s only one me though — and for that I’m thankful. Q

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

gay writes

Inertia

What Life Does To Your Body,

BY BOB BORGOGNO

I am able

to say that sitting at the train platform, looking forward with my head in good posture, eye-tocrotch level, I am filled with Inertia. Funky looking, big labia, covered in baggy, seethrough patterned fabric.

The days of girls having rugs is over, I suppose.

Guys in thin fabric shorts, wearing underwear so tight that there’s a no-show of junk up front. Others with no underwear, wearing jeans with fade spots from where the guy has been grabbing his dick for a quick pull or pinch.

Most of the time, it’s pretty much androgynistic. Not fun.

Yet, there I sit. Filled with Inertia. It only seems to attach its forces at the least convenient times like when I wake up, naturally, without some horrid sound blaring at me from the alarm clock. I open my eyes, yet Inertia keeps my body immobile. It knows I have to pee, but it doesn’t care.

Inertia isn’t as easily escapable as one might think. It’s

more powerful than gravity!

Inertia is also in my mind.

One small irritating thing to intrude on my pleasant thoughts and ‘slap!’ I am irritated for days and days. Now the mental Inertia I experience is applicable to all varieties of thoughts and emotions, which I dare not start listing.

Mostly due to the fact that Inertia makes me physically lazy and my hand can only write a few sentences before becoming stiff, achy, and still for no specific amount of time.

Inertia is such a bitch. It fills me while I’m having my morning coffee. I’ll turn on the TV to check the weather, then I’ll turn the channel to PBS, which will have some string of subtitled French and Italian murder and cop shows on. Suddenly I cannot move.

Inertia wants me ill. I’ll take a lovely big draw from my electric cigarette, then ‘slap!’ I cannot take it from my mouth until the battery runs out.

I am certain I would be someone’s stalker if Inertia didn’t interfere.

Inertia wants to kill me.

When I’m walking down the sidewalk, I’ll approach a busy intersection and suddenly I cannot change my speed or direction or even stop. So far, I’ve only been hit by one car.

Inertia is a murderer. My late acquaintance Moo Moo Lady would agree. Inertia murdered her and wants to murder me. Q Gay Writes is a DiverseCity Series writing group, a program of SLCC’s Community Writing Center. The group meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month, 6:30-8 p.m., 210 E. 400 South, Ste. 8, Salt Lake.

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46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 274 | DECEMBER 2017

the perils of petunia pap smear

Tales of the City, part twee

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to the Folsom Street Fair is fraught with danger and excitement.

Mr. Pap Smear and I had the opportunity to travel to San Francisco to attend the Folsom Street Fair which is billed as the “World’s Largest Leather Event.”

It was my first time and I must say, for a naive, innocent little princess from a potato-and-sheep farm in Idaho-mo it was like traveling to a different planet.

The trip was comparable to a expedition to an exotic zoo.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning.

The sun was shining, the temperature about 75 degrees. Most of you would think that these are perfect conditions, but remember I am a queen of substantial bulkitude. It only takes three minutes in direct sunlight for my Maximus Rotundus to overheat and commence melting like Elpheba, the Wicked Witch of the West. Luckily, there was just enough of a breeze to prevent me from liquefying in the sunshine.

As we neared the gated off fair area, my pulse quickened. Oh what sights we were about to see. It was like following the yellow brick road to Oz. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgences were collecting donations at the gate. As soon as we crossed into Folsom Street it was like landing a house in Munchkin Land.

Jock straps and leather harnesses with a generous smattering of wrestling singlets

7pm, January 19 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

seemed to be the uniform of the day. But then there were the totally naked guys as well. I was mostly smitten by the naked Batman, wearing only black boots, a cape, an eye mask and a painted-on bat signal. I think he could have rescued me from any alley late at night.

As we entered the street we were immediately almost run over by a parade of bare-breasted women, wearing the highest of thigh-high heeled boots, tied up with ropes and chains to about 20 large chariots with clattering wooden wheels.

The women were bound to chrome horse harnesses and pulling the chariots, which were occupied by larger women wearing silver and gold chest plates and arm bands, and helmets festooned with feathers (imagine the Ride Of The Valkyries), comfortably lounging in padded velvet seats, armed with loudly snapping whips.

The whole scene resembled the chariot races in “Ben Hur.” I must say, the sight of bare breasts didn’t bother me as much as I thought.

After the immediate trampling had passed, we came upon a booth where a naked man was lounging in a sling. The sales person was demonstrating the latest in butt plugs. He proceeded to “not so gently” shove a rather large dildo in, and then Goldie Locks said, “Oh that’s much better. It’s not too large, nor too small, but just right.” A quick glance at the shelf of potential inventory gave me the vapors. There were several in the threefoot long and 25-pound “Ass Destroyer” category waiting to be tried. I’ve watched sheep giving birth before, so I thought I could handle watching this. OH! MY! GOD! I was wrong.

Running away we happened upon a donut toss contest. If you could throw a standard glazed dounut about 10 feet and have it land on the model’s erect penis, then you won a free DVD. And as a bonus, if you scored a direct hit, you also got to eat the donut, (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). I’ve never been one to mix sex and food. I just can’t get over the

mess and how sticky it is to clean up. But in this case, let’s just say, the donut was delicious! Who knew I could aim?

I think my favorite booth was the Jockstrap Twister demonstration. There was this huge stage, with giant Twister dots all over it. Then there were five porn stars wearing different colored jockstraps playing the game. Of course the usual commands of “left hand red, right foot yellow” were changed to stuff like “red jock, right hand, yellow dick.” And “blue jock, purple mouth.” I could have stood there and watched them for hours. In fact I believe I did stand there and watch for hours. My favorite call was “All colors, chain-rim.” The porn stars obediently lined up and stuck their noses in the crack of the guy in front of them and began licking like ice cream was melting. There was much giggling from the boys. They maintained that position for quite a while until a couple of the boys began gasping for air, and others started complaining their asses were beginning to chap.

I was wrong about my favorite booth before. My actual favorite was a booth selling the most delicious Thai noodles and chicken kabobs. Naked men and lunch. I’ve never been a happier camper.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1) Back on the farm, when I hooked up my little red wagon behind the goat, was I secretly training for the Folsom Chariot parade?

2) Is the musical Kinky Boots about making boots for Folsom?

3) Was it the immediate fear of being trampled to death that tempered my reaction to seeing bare breasts?

4) Was it the fact that my breasticles are in fact larger than theirs? · What does it say about me, that I was tempted to eat the donut instead of tossing it onto the dick?

5) Is Jockstrap Twister preparation the reason our children in Utah learn the Primary Colors song?

6) Does Chapstick work on chapped asses?

These and other eternal questions shall be answered in future chapters of the Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

DECEMBER 2017 | ISSUE 274 | Qsaltlake.com

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