QSaltLake Magazine - 297 - April 4, 2019

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APRIL 4, 2019 VOL. 16 • ISSUE 297 QSALTLAKE.COM

LDS CHURCH BACKTRACKS ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE APOSTASY, BAPTISM OF CHILDREN OF LGBT PARENTS

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staffbox

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan designer Christian Allred sales Ken Stowe, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., John Hales, Ryan Haymore, Tony Hobday, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Bradley Jay Crookston,

RJ Graham publisher

Q Media Group 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt. only), Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

CONTACT EMAILS: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com ARTS: arts@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

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QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC., Q Media Group Copyright © 2019, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 8–12,000 copies are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the state. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, call 801-997-9763. It is a crime to dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Printed in the USA on recycled paper.

Please recycle this copy when done.

April 26 - 27, 2019 | 7:30 pm Highland High School, SLC, UT General Admission $20

Tickets are valid for any night, and are available from choir members, Club Try-Angles, and online at brownpapertickets.com Dennis McCracken, Artistic Director

6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FIRST WORD

from the publisher

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Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

300

BY MICHAEL AARON

Issue 297.

We will put issue 300 out in May — the Guide to Utah Pride.

Seems fitting that such a monumental achievement — 300 issues — is our most monumental issue of the year.

Our 15th birthday is at the end of April as well. Our first issue hit the streets April 29, 2004. I don’t even have to look that up to remember the date. It was a big day for me, for us, and I’d like to say the community.

On that day we rented two Hotel Monaco presidential suites for a party that included the mayor, legislators, almost all of the 2News on-air team, leaders of almost every LGBT organization in the state, and a lot of wine drinkers as guests.

That day I was on KCPW’s pledge drive for three hours with now-editor of The Salt Lake Tribune Jennifer Napier Pierce. I did a five-minute segment with Mary Nickles on KUTV News. I was on Fox 13 News, News 4 Utah, and KSL News. Yes, KSL. We had stories in The Tribune, Deseret News, the Provo Herald, and Ogden Standard-Examiner.

The past 15 years have had many highs and lows.

To me, though, the lows were actually as good as the highs, like when we feared we were going down in 2012 when the economy, and many of our advertisers, hit hard times. Our community responded to our plea for help and helped keep us afloat as we retooled to become leaner and meaner. Not one very good at asking for help, it was a humbling and a heart-warming experience as my friends, family and fellow commu-

nity members showed me that they thought our work was important to them.

So, here we are 15 years later. While we aren’t dripping with cash, we are still here providing stories our community would not otherwise see.

We are asked often whether we think we are still necessary, since it seems to some that the movement for LGBT equality is done.

What? Were you asleep during this legislative session? Have you not heard of movements across the country and the globe trying to push back time?

National organizations who support the “ex-gay” movement and conversion therapy flew to Salt Lake to testify against our community’s efforts to end the barbaric practice. And they won.

Anti-transgender feminists, known as TERF, around the world have a presence here in our state. Hell, a local anti-LGBT representative from Grantsville tried to make one’s gender immutable, thereby sending the trans movement back to the 50s.

But we are about more than just reporting the news of the equality movement. We are also a lifestyle magazine which brings entertainment, health, culture, and other items of interest specific to our community.

Like Ebony, La Galeria Magazine, Senior Times, Seventeen, Woman’s Day, and AARP Magazine that provide information and entertainment to their demographics, we are a peculiar people wanting our peculiar voice.

To another 15 years. Cher help me. Q

Millcreek Gardens

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“The best advertising I do” —JAY HALLSTROM

pages Get in the 2019 directory of Utah’s LGBT-friendly businesses today by calling 801-997-9763 or emailing sales@qsaltlake.com

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Save the date to help us celebrate ISSUES 15 Years

as we bring our annual Utah Pride Guide issue and 2019-20 QPages Directory Friday, May 24 at the Utah Pride Center.

Watch our Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram and qsaltlake.com.

Advertise to Utah’s LGBTQ community at 801-997-9763 or sales@qsaltlake.com

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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know IN CHICAGO, LESBIANS RULE This is what equality looks like: Lori Lightfoot, a former federal prosecutor, was elected mayor of Chicago defeating city Democrat party chair Toni Preckwinkle, 74 to 26 percent.

She ran as a reformer in an apocryphally corrupt city.

Members of the city council have been indicted for bribery, the Smollett hate-crime hoax — and cover-up, police shootings, a burgeoning murder rate were all issues that helped defeat the “machine” candidate.

One issue that’s clearly not an issue was Lightfoot’s sex life. She is married to Amy Eshleman. The couple is raising a daughter. Other Midwest cities re-elected out-and-proud candidates: in Madison, Wisconsin, Satya Rhodes-Conway beat the incumbent; and in Kansas City, Mo., Jolie Justus advanced from the primary to general election.

EQUALITY ACT GETS HEARING The U.S. Congress is holding the first-ever hearing on the Equality Act. The legislation guarantees LGBT nondiscrimination under the 1964 landmark Civil Rights Act. The act has major support from 180 name-brand businesses though the Human Rights Campaign’s Business Coalition for the Equality Act. Polls show 70 percent of Americans support any legislation with the word “equality”

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in the title. Congress will hear testimony from LGBT grievance-industry professionals, LGBT supporting churches, university law professionals and diversity officers, and the obligatory personal stories of discrimination.

Not invited to testify is former Log Cabin chief executive Gregory Angelo, who wrote an op-ed for a conservative newspaper, saying, “Don’t be fooled by the name: The Equality Act is legislation that would compromise American civil rights and religious liberty as we know it.”

N. CAROLINA CONGRESSIONAL NOMINEE, STILL HOT ABOUT THE POT North Carolina’s 9th congressional election was not decided in 2018 due to charges of voting fraud. The Republican in the race, who was ahead by a few votes, dropped out and will “re-run” this summer.

The polls say the favorite to replace him on the “R Line” is the state legislator sponsored North Carolina HB2, which banned transgender people from using the bathroom of their identified gender.

The law led to a backlash, from canceled concerts to loss of the NBA All-Stars game.

The law was largely modified, but remained objectionable to transgender activists. The legislator does not apologize for his support for the bill, rather is ratcheting up partisan rhetoric. His ads call Democrats “socialists” and “gun grabbers” who support “infanticide and open borders.” No mention of bathrooms, yet.

A TEASE DOES NOT PLEASE A couple of late-Victorian bachelors sit around in dressing gowns drinking tea in a fabulous London flat. Some fans of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson thought (or hoped) they were lovers.

According to Martin Free-

man, Dr. Watson to Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes on the PBS-aired series said a “writers’ tease” ticked off some fans when the series didn’t have a “gay” ending. The updated portrayal toyed with the sexual nature of the relationship.

There was tongue-in-cheek humor, with other characters often assuming they were a gay couple. Fans assumed the show runners would end the series, “Where we held hands off into the sunset together,” says Freeman.

That scenario didn’t occur and the production company got complaints of disappointment and “betrayal”. With another season in the offering, gay hope, as it does at midnight on Grindr, can spring eternal.

ADOPTION IN MICHIGAN A deal between the ALCU and the Michigan Attorney General requires faith-based adoption agencies, receiving state money, to help gay and lesbian people adopt. A lesbian couple were refused services by Catholic Charities and Bethany Christian Services, so they sued.

Michigan, like most states, contracts with private agencies to place children with adoptive parents. The two services averaged 25 to 30 percent of the state’s foster care adoptions.

NO ‘CALL ME BY YOUR NAME’ 2, YET A sequel to Call Me by Your Name, a straight-washed movie about a gay relationship, is happening ― at least in book form. André Aciman’s Find Me picks up where the book and movie left off. The age-significant lovers Elio and Oliver have moved on.

Elio is now a gifted classical pianist and Oliver is a professor in the U.S., with sons. A movie sequel is in

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

the talks, but the actor who played Oliver, Armie Hammer, talks it down, saying, “I think we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.”

SYLVESTER, ONE FOR THE BOOKS An out, proud and loud 1980s artist, Sylvester, has a song inducted into the National Recording Registry at the Library of Congress. Annually, the registry adds 25 American recordings that are at least 10 years old, selecting works with “culturally, historically, or aesthetically” significance.

One of this year’s 25 was Sylvester’s, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” recorded in 1978. Sylvester passed away in 1988 due to complications related to HIV.

VIP TOO IMPORTANT FOR ID, BAR PUNISHED Washington DC’s former mayor and current city council member, Vincent Gray, was tossed out of the DC Eagle after refusing to show his driver’s license to the door person. He thought his city councilor ID, which didn’t show his age, was sufficient for entry.

In a scene witnessed often in Utah, the 75-year-old politico, when challenged to use ID showing age, said, “Don’t I look old enough?” The bouncer pushed him out the door and the councilor fell and suffered minor injuries.

After Gray’s complaint, the bar’s liquor license was

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suspended for a week and the owners fined $2,000. Plus, the bouncer was fired.

SAN ANTONIO HATES CHICK-FIL-A Hope you are not in the San Antonio airport if you are “jonesing” for waffle fries and a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A. The city council is banning the chain from the airport, which has long been criticized for making donations to anti-gay organizations.

The city council member, in proposing the ban, said that San Antonio is a city of compassion where everyone “has a place and we do not have room in our public facilities for a business with a legacy of anti-LGBTQ behavior.”

The company has tried to downplay comments from its founder about marriage equality, but in 2017, Chick-fil-A made donations to groups not favored by LGBT activists.

The Texas attorney general sent a letter to the city that his office would investigate whether the a ban violates any laws about religious liberty.

He also asked the U.S. Department of Transportation to look into the matter.

BRUNEI STONES SODOMY Several crimes, like having a baby out of wedlock, missing prayers, or promoting religions other than Islam will face lesser fines and go into effect immediately. Stoning and stiffer punishments for other crimes were left to be implemented at a later date.

“The decision to implement the penal code is not for fun but is to obey Allah’s command as written in the Qu-

ran,” Prime Minister Hassanal Bolkiah said.

The country has 400,000 residents, with two-thirds being Muslim. According to UN High Commission for Human Rights, under international law, stoning is considered torture and is cruel, inhumane, degrading treatment and is prohibited.

ENOUGH TROPE TO HANG THEMSELVES Sean Hannity wasn’t the first media person to make tired trope that presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg’s married partner would be “First Lady”, rather it came from the long time stalwart of gay and lesbian media, the Advocate.

The magazine headlined a hagiography of the two South Benders with “Chasten Buttigieg Would Be the Best ‘First Lady’ of Twitter”.

In the article, the writer wrote, “And as his self-proclaimed ‘underdog’ husband continues to capture the hearts of many Americans, we decided to round up a few of our favorite tweets from the man who may become the first male-identified ‘First Lady’ ever.”

Another dumb gay question, this time Buzz Feed asked Mayor Buttigieg, “Do you think President James Buchanan was gay,” and was answered with “my gaydar has never been very good.” Nice to hear a presidential candidate say, “My gaydar,” though.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

Call Wharton O’Brien Law

MORE PROGRESS ON HIV Surgeons at the Johns Hopkins Hospital have transplanted a kidney from a living HIV-positive donor to an HIV-positive recipient, a medical breakthrough they think will expand the pool of available organs for transplants. The procedure is a large step from the days HIV diagnosis was considered a death sentence. Q

Wharton O’Brien, PLLC 165 S Main Street, Suite 200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 chriswhartonlaw.com

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

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LDS Church backtracks on same-sex marriage apostasy and blessings, baptisms of children with LGBT parents The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced on the first day of its Spring Conference that it was reversing its 2015 policy that deemed people in same-sex marriages as “apostates” and forbidding children of such marriages from blessing or baptism until age 18, and only after disavowing support for same-sex marriage or cohabitation.

LDS President Dallin Oaks is quoted as having said the announcement was intended to “help affected families” and “to reduce the hate and contention so common today.”

Children of LGBT parents may now be blessed as infants and baptized after their eitghth birthday.

The 2015 policy caused contention among members of the church, and many felt it punished children. At least 1,000 members protested in Salt Lake City and formally resigned their membership after the 2015 announcement.

In January of 2016, Russell M. Nelson said in a worldwide speech that Thomas S. Monson received instructions regarding same-sex couples directly from God. The announcement this week was made on MormonNewsroom.com. Excerpts follow: President Russell M. Nelson reflected that throughout this past year, the Lord has blessed them with “revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge … that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.”

President Nelson taught of ministering and repenting, sharing that as we embrace the gift of repentance we will rise up and minister in a holier way and make our homes centers of gospel learning. Israel will be gathered on both sides of the veil, and we will help in preparing the world for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Possibly refuted by many non-Mormons, President Dallin H. Oaks was instructed this morning by the First Presidency that the Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility — even when we disagree. God has promised all blessings to those who strive to keep His commandments, and we have a duty to

“bear one another’s burdens that they may be light.”

Oaks’ burgeoning on: “While we cannot change the Lord’s doctrine, we want our members and our policies to be considerate of those struggling with the challenges of mortality.”

“Effective immediately, children of parents who identify themselves as [LGBT] may be baptized without First Presidency approval if the custodial parents give permission for the baptism and understand both the doctrine that a baptized child will be taught and the covenants he or she will be expected to make.

“A nonmember parent or parents (including LGBT parents) can request that their baby be blessed by a worthy Melchizedek Priesthood holder. These parents need to understand that congregation members will contact them periodically, and that when the child who has been blessed reaches 8 years of age, a Church member will contact them and propose that the child be baptized.

“Previously, our Handbook characterized same-gender marriage by a member as apostasy. While we still consider such a marriage to be a serious transgression, it will not be treated as apostasy for purposes of Church discipline. Instead, the immoral conduct in heterosexual or homosexual relationships will be treated in the same way.”

Accordingly, the announced policies “should help affected families.”

“In addition, our members’ efforts to show more understanding, compassion and love should increase respect and understanding among all people of goodwill,” Oaks continued, “we want to reduce the hate and contention so common today.

“We are optimistic that a majority of people — whatever their beliefs and orientations — long for better understanding and less contentious communications. That is surely our desire, and we seek the help of our members and others to attain it.”

These new policies are being sent to priesthood leaders worldwide and will be included in online updates to the

Church’s handbook for leaders.

“However, these changes do not represent a shift in Church doctrine related to marriage or the commandments of God in regard to chastity and morality. The doctrine of the plan of salvation and the importance of chastity will not change,” according to the website.

Moreover, the Church claims these policy changes “come after an extended period of counseling with the brethren in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and after fervent, united prayer to understand the will of the Lord on these matters.”

To end, the First Presidency remarked, “We pray these teachings will be received in the same spirit we received them from the Lord and have shared them with our leaders — as positive and inspiring instruction that will bless many lives. With gratitude we acknowledge God’s continuing guidance and love for all His children and invite our members to renew their commitment to follow the teachings of the Savior Jesus Christ to love God and to love one another.”

Today, Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski commented on the announcement by saying, “Today’s announcement from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to reverse its policy regarding the children of LGBTQ parents is welcome and moving news.

“When this policy was announced, shortly after I was elected mayor, I said I hoped if my sons decided to join the church, they would not be forced to choose between the love of a church community and the love of their parents.

“During my first meeting with church officials, I delivered a letter in which I tried to capture the hurt and fear this policy inflicted upon our entire community.

I am grateful for this revelation and for church leaders acting upon it. This action is supportive of families and may even save lives.” Q

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Weber Co. jail officers show respect, inmates not so much, for trans woman housed with men From a traffic-violation arrest on March 2, 2019, a trans woman was incarcerated at the Weber County jail. The incident occurred while Ella Mae Vail and her girlfriend were passing through Utah on their way to Virginia.

According to reports, Vail was following behind behind a slow semi-truck and signaled to pass it. While she said the light blinked a few times, a Utah Highway Patrol trooper pulled her over for not signaling for the required two seconds.

In the probable cause statement, the state trooper who pulled Vail over also said he could smell marijuana from withing the vehicle, as well as found a pipe, marijuana and rolling papers in the car. Vail admitted however to smoking it hours earlier.

Vail was arrested and then booked into jail according to her anatomy and the information on her driver’s license, which identifies her as a man.

Reportedly and deservedly, Vail fearing for her safety asked the trooper if she’d be safe while held in jail. To which he

said, “Yeah, you’ll be safe.”

But it remained unclear whether Vail would be housed with male or female inmates.

Vail was placed with the male population, evidently because the jail hasn’t yet crafted a formal policy on transgender inmates, with the housing decision typically made based on the gender designation on the state-issued ID or their anatomy, specifically whether they’ve had sex reassignment surgery.

While Vail said most of the correctional officers showed her respect and used her preferred name and pronouns and seemed to care about her well-being, the male inmates continuously harassed her, to which she hurt herself to be sequestered in a mental health ward.

Data shows fears about Vail’s safety while incarcerated were based on the experiences of other transgender inmates.

Statistics from the Department of Justice from 2011-12 indicate that about 40 percent of transgender inmates in state or federal prison have reported some kind of sexual victimization. An estimated 27

Wyo. school riddled with homophobic, racist flyers At a junior high school in Cheyenne, Wyo., Wednesday, students found taped to the walls (or were handed) flyers promoting hate. The targets: LGBT and blacks.

The circulated flyers at McCormick Junior High School read: “It’s great to be straight it’s not OK to be gay,” “black lives only matter because if it weren’t for them who would pick our cotton,” and “Join the KKK,” with “the confederate kid club” in parentheses.

It’s the most recent event in a chain of bullying of McCormick’s Gay Straight Alliance students, according to a teacher at the school.

When Wyoming Equality caught wind of the news, the executive director Sara Burlingame, set up a meeting with the school’s principal, Jeff Conine — who

previously told the Wyoming Tribune Eagle there were only two flyers, and that they were taped to a wall in an area without security cameras. He said teachers found the flyers and took them down before the school day began.

However, three other reports claimed differently including one from Cheyenne Mayor Marian Orr, who had told Conine before the interview with the Wyoming Tribune Eagle that students (with Confederate flags) were handing out the flyers to students. Yet, at the meeting with Burlingame later in the day, Conine told her that he was not aware that students had passed out any flyers.

Principal Conine said the day’s events were still under investigation and couldn’t say what the repercussions would be for those responsible until they were found. The most severe punishment he is authorized as principal to deliver is a 10-day suspension.

Wyoming Equality released a statement: The past few days the news has report-

percent of transgender inmates in local jails reported sexual abuse.

At Vail’s bail hearing on March 11, the judge lowered the $2,200 bail amount to $200. And after posting bond, Vail and her girlfriend continued to Virginia on March 12. Whether Vail must return to Utah in April for a scheduled court appearance is pending, according to her attorney.

QSaltlake Magazine‘s request for an interview was refused. Q ed on white supremacist flyers targeting LGBTQ and Black youth at McCormick Junior High School — and the lack of school administrative response. We learned students have been reporting cases of harassment for the past few weeks.

Then, the McCormick GSA co-sponsor, a substitute teacher, was fired for raising concerns.

But these kids are so resilient, y’all.

Yesterday, they gathered and held a rally at school with over 50 students holding “Love is Love” and “People are People” signs. We want to make sure our youth never feel isolated or unheard. That’s why Wyoming Equality is here: to remind all LGBTQ and Black youth that they are beautiful and that they are never alone.

We’re partnering with the NAACP Cheyenne chapter, Black faith leaders, elected officials including Mayor Marian Orr, and ACLU to host a community conversation today. We urge you to join us as we continue to raise awareness of these hateful incidents and protect the rights LGBTQ and Black young people everywhere. Q

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Marina Gomberg’s road to Equality (in) Utah

BY TONY HOBDAY

QSaltLake Magazine, for more than a decade, has followed Marina Gomberg’s unique and in many cases successful battles for LGBT rights and inclusion.

The news of Gomberg’s stepping-down from Equality Utah’s Board of Directors hits hard.

“After what has felt like both the shortest and longest six years of my life, I’m concluding my service as a member of Equality Utah’s board of directors, and the occasion has me feeling a sweet mix of nostalgia and pride,” Gomberg said.

In honor of Gomberg, here are a few highlights and remarks from Gomberg: In 2008, QSaltlake reported on an unprecedented National Coming Out Day Brunch, at which, as director of development and marketing at the Utah Pride Center, Gomberg paid tribute to two Utah educators who had worked hard to make the state’s schools safer and more inclusive places for gay and transgender students: Planned Parenthood’s Val Murdock and Barry Gomberg (Marina’s father), who helped to develop Weber State University’s Matthew Shepard Scholarship for LGBT and allied students.

“The lives and stories of LGBTQ people couldn’t be discussed openly by teachers in public schools and our transgender siblings lacked vital protections (ahem, and still do),” Gomberg reminisces.

Gomberg then spearheaded a 2009 program as the Utah Pride Center’s development director: The Services & Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Elders, referred to as SAGE, to “serve people from cradle to grave.” Also that year, the Center hosted a two-day summit for people of color in the LGBT movement. “Our hope is to bridge gaps and create relationships that will hopefully help create change in our community,” Gomberg said at the time.

Moving forward a few years, Gomberg joined Equality Utah in 2013 as Board Secretary, a volatile period during which “we had been dealt powerful blows to legal equality (think California’s Prop 8 and

Utah’s Amendment 3) and I was ready to engage in the movement in a new way.” “[But] I had to get my bearings on Utah’s political landscape quickly because Equality Utah was running an anti-discrimination bill sponsored by my friend and now current EU board member, former state Sen. Steve Urquhart,” said Gomberg. “The bill would have protected LGBTQ people from discrimination in housing and employment. It made it out of committee (a hurdle we celebrated heartily) but ultimately died.”

“The Kitchen v. Herbert case challenging Utah’s Amendment 3, Utah’s 2004 voter approved measure that specifically excluded same-sex couples from the freedom to marry, was filed that same month, and Utah’s road to marriage equality began to get paved with rainbow bricks.

Just one year later, she temporarily stepped down from the Board and assumed the role of EU’s interim executive director. During that time, Gomberg had also “legally married her wife Elenor, and she joined three other couples and the ACLU of Utah in a lawsuit compelling the governor to recognize the nearly 1,300 same-sex marriages performed in Utah during the brief window it was

legal.”

“A year later in March 2015, the Utah Legislature overwhelming passed… the first anti-discrimination law to add protections for sexual orientation and gender identity in a red state. Watching Gov. Gary Herbert sign our protections into law was a moment I’ll never forget,” Gomberg remembers.

“Looking back, it seems like those pivotal moments foreshadowed a shift in political power that inspired such a momentous trajectory toward equality.

“I had serendipitously joined the board as Equality Utah was realizing its political strength (which is to say that while I take pride in what might be any small roles I played, the momentum created by my peers and the giants whose shoulders we all stood on are who to laud for what would follow).

“We’ve had more wins (even just killing anti-LGBTQ bills) and setbacks… but I have such overwhelming gratitude for witnessing life-changing and life-saving progress with a front-row seat.

“I thank Equality Utah for having me, and our state which I trust will courageously face our considerable journey toward justice that is yet to be traveled.” Q

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Utah adds ‘X’ to driver license gender markers While you can count on one hand the number of times it has happened, Utah has joined the ranks of states issuing gender-neutral markers on their driver licenses and state IDs, but for transgender, nonbinary, and intersex people, they’re still hard to get.

Since September of last year, Utah has been quietly issuing “X” markers on the identification cards, and it has been available on birth certificates since 2017. Only two licenses have been issued with the “X” marker since September, according to the public affairs director for the state Department of Public Safety, Marissa Cote.

The “X” marker is used for those who identify as neither male nor female.

The state issued its first nonbinary driver license to Mel Van De Graaff in September 2018, making Utah one of eight states, along with Washington, D.C., to offer a third option on driver licenses and state-issued ID cards. The other states include Arkansas, California, Colorado, Indiana, Maine, Minnesota, and Oregon. Vermont recently announced plans to roll out a third gender option sometime this summer.

Gender-neutral birth certificates are now permitted in New York City and several states, including California, New Jersey, Oregon, Washington, and Nevada (where Van De Graaff was issued theirs).

The National Center for Transgender Equality includes Idaho and Montana on this list, though NBC News has not yet independently confirmed it.

The milestone in Utah went largely unnoticed by the national media. Even the Movement Advancement Project, an LGBTQ think tank that tracks changes in policy and legislation for sexual and gender minorities across the U.S., does not include Utah among its list of states with nonbinary ID options.

That may be, in part, because the policy in the state remains murky, according to Van De Graaff.

“Because it’s up to the judge, a lot of nonbinary people just don’t try and get their markers changed,” De Graaff said. “A lot of them don’t have the monetary means to do so. I really believe the only reason I got mine granted was because I got an attorney,

and attorneys are not cheap.”

The Utah Division of Motor Vehicles determines the gender marker listed on an applicant’s identification either by their birth certificate or a valid U.S. passport.

As Cote explained, the Utah DMV’s policy “has always been to base the gender notation off of an acceptable primary identification document which includes a gender notation.”

Utah has granted just two nonbinary birth certificates since 2017, said Terry Lucherini, acting bureau director of the Utah Vital Records and Statistics. He also said these documents are granted by “court order only.”

“That’s the only way we change the gender on a birth certificate,” Lucherini told NBC News.

To date, the U.S. has never issued a nonbinary passport. Because of that, trans and nonbinary people need to rely on birth certificates to update their IDs in Utah; but even getting those updated can be exceedingly difficult, advocates say.

When Van de Graaff started pursuing a new gender marker in November 2017, they claimed no one they knew had “heard of anybody in Utah having a

First organ transplant of a living HIV-positive donor At Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, surgeons successfully transplanted a kidney from a living HIV-positive donor to an HIV-positive recipient, “a medical breakthrough they hope will expand the pool of available organs and help change perceptions of HIV,” reported The Washington Post. And the doctors say the recipient no longer needs kidney dialysis for the first time in a year.

The donor, Nina Martinez, who acquired HIV from a blood transfusion as an infant, said prior to the operation, “Society perceives me and people like me as people who bring death and I can’t figure out any better way to show that people like me can bring life.”

Surgeons have transplanted 116 organs from deceased HIV-positive donors to recipients with HIV since 2016, when a

gender “X” license on documentation of any kind.” Van de Graaff continued that the common thinking was, “This can’t be done, because it hasn’t been done.”

Because Utah lacks a clear statewide policy on changing one’s name and gender on vital records, like birth certificates, whether an individual successfully obtains a court order is largely up to the determination of local judges — who often widely vary in their decisions. This applies not only to those looking for a gender-neutral “X” marker, but also to those looking to update their documents from “F” to “M” or vice versa.

Two years ago, Judge Bruce C. Lubeck of Utah’s 3rd Judicial District Court reportedly told 17-year-old transgender male Lex Rigby that Lubeck could not “in good conscience” allow the gender marker on Rigby’s birth certificate to be updated from “F” to “M”.

Lubeck told Rigby, “I seriously hope this won’t offend you.” Q new law allowing that surgery took effect.

However, one question which remains is whether receiving an organ from someone with a different strain of HIV than their own poses any risks, but so far there have been no safety problems, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing which oversees the transplant system.

“Here’s a disease that in the past was a death sentence and now has been so well controlled that it offers people with that disease an opportunity to save somebody else,” said Dr. Dorry Segev, a Hopkins surgeon who pushed for the HIV Organ Policy Equity, or HOPE, the act that lifted a 25-year U.S. ban on transplants between people with HIV. For years, doctors had hesitated to allow people still living with HIV to donate because of concern that their remaining kidney would be at risk of damage from the virus or older medications used to treat it. Q

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce to hold 3rd Annual Gay-la The annual Gay-la and membership drive is the Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce’s premier event and it gives you an opportunity to network with a phenomenal group who support Utah’s LGBT community.

The evening includes keynote speaker, Bobby Edwards, CEO of Squatty Potty (featured on Shark Tank, Dr. Oz and many other prominent national and international media outlets) and entertainment by the amazing Tribeca Ensemble. Hope Woodside will emcee and Gia Bianca Stephens is one of the special hostesses.

The event is on April 4 at the Cottonwood Country Club, 1780 E. Lakewood Dr., Holladay, 6-9 p.m.; dress code is cocktail attire.

Tickets are $25, available at bit. ly/utahgayla.

Alternative Garden Club’s Spring Clean-up The Alternative Garden Club, founded in the early 1980s, is a welcoming community for all who share an interest in gardening and socializing. This Saturday, April 6, the club will be doing their annual clean up at the Sugar House Garden Center at 1602 E. 2100 South in Sugar House from 9 a.m. to noon. Please bring a garden spade, trowel, and gloves.

Many hands make light work. For more info about the club, visit them on Facebook.

‘Bunny Hop’ Easter Brunch and dance party On Sunday, April 21, the Garage on Beck Street hosts Mr. Jesse Walker’s 9th Annual

‘Bunny Hop’, presented by SLUG Magazine. This Easter Sunday celebration includes a brunch buffet, prizes, and award winning local deejays playing only vinyl records from brunch to sunset.

Guests may also hunt for eggs, enjoy surprise guest artists, and an appearance by the real Easter Bunny.

Funds raised benefit the International Rescue Committee in Salt Lake City and the refugees they serve, supporting important programs helping refugees positively integrate into our community.

The day-long ‘hop’, which attracts an alternative crowd ranging in age and identity carries a tradition of community interaction and goodwill, helping attendees release a healthy dose of spring fever while making a positive social impact.

About the Egg Hunt and Prizes: Hundreds of eggs which can be found throughout the day are stuffed with candy and prizes. A large, grand prize (TBD) will be awarded to the crowd favorite for Easter Flair Spirit.

The IRC and the United States have a long history of warmly welcoming the world’s most persecuted people. Generous supporters around the world have pledged their time and resources to helping refugees start anew.

The minute these brave individuals step off the plane in Salt Lake City, IRC staff and volunteers are there to help them on the final leg of their journey.

Location: The Garage, 1199 Beck St., SLC Event Hours: 11 a.m. to Sunset Donation: $15 per person at the door; pre-sale available at http://www.24tix.com.

To learn more about the work of the IRC in Salt Lake City visit Rescue.org/SaltLakeCity. Q

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Prides across the state A newly formed coalition of Pride organizations in Utah met last weekend and the Utah Pride Center and announced the dates for this year’s festivals. Save the dates!

May 31–June 2: UTAH PRIDE — Salt Lake City, Utah Aug. 3: OGDEN PRIDE – Ogden, Utah Sept. 14: LOGAN PRIDE — Logan, Utah Sept. 14: PROVO PRIDE — Provo, Utah Sept. 16–22: PRIDE OF SOUTHERN UTAH — St. George, Utah Sept. 28: MOAB PRIDE, Moab, Utah

Prides around the globe Mar. 30: Tampa Pride, Tampa Apr. 1–7 2019: Miami Beach Gay Pride Miami Beach, Fla. Apr. 6–7: Phoenix Pride Parade Phoenix, Ariz.

Apr. 25–28: Jasper Pride Jasper, Alberta, Canada Apr. 25–28: Philadelphia Black Pride Philadelphia, Pa. Apr. 28–29: Tokyo Rainbow Pride Tokyo, Japan May 2–12: Maspalomas Gay Pride, Gran Canaria May 4: Raleigh Pride Raleigh, N.C. May 18: Belgian Pride Brussels May 18: Springfield Pride, Ill. May 18: New Hope / Lambertville Pride Parade, Pa. May 18–19: Long Beach Lesbian & Gay Pride, Calif.

May 24–28: DC Black Pride Washington, DC May 25–26: Birmingham Pride, UK May 25–June 2 Torremolinos Gay Pride, Torremolinos, Spain May 27–June 3: El Paso Pride Texas, El Paso, Texas May 31: Guelph Pride 2018, Ontario, Canada May 31–June 2: Tusla Pride, Okla.

May 31–June 2: Provincetown Pride, Provincetown, Mass.

May 31–June 3 Laguna Beach Pride 365, Calif.

May 31–June 9: Boston Pride — Boston, Mass.

May 31–June 9: Capital Pride, Washington DC May 31–June 9: Central Alabama Pride — Birmingham, Ala. May 31–June 2: Sonoma County Pride, Calif.

June 1: Magical Pride at Disneyland Paris, Paris, France June 1: Sun City Pride, El Paso June 1: Guadalajara Pride, Mexico June 1: Pride in the CLE, Cleveland, Ohio June 1–2: Dallas Pride, Texas June 1–3: Venice Pride, Calif.

June 2: Pride Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rico June 1–8 Pride Niagra, St. Catharines, Ontario June 1-9: LA Pride, Calif.

June 1–10: Pride Sitges, Spain June 14–15: Zurich Pride Festival, Zurich, Switzerland June 15: Pride Edinburgh, UK June 1–30: NYC Pride, New York June 7–9: Albuquerque Pride, N.M. June 7–9: New Orleans Pride, La. June 8: Gay Pride Rome, Italy June 9: Athens Pride, Greece June 9–15: Varese Pride, Italy June 12–15 Ibiza Gay Pride, Spain June 13–16: Shanghai Pride, Shanghai, China June 14: Tel Aviv Pride, Israel June 14–16: Baltimore Pride, Md. CONTINUED ON PAGE 43

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Utah Pride Festival to expand this year. Parade, festival apps open This year’s Utah Pride Days will begin May 17 with the Utah Pride Spectacular.

Once the Wednesday or Thursday of Pride, it will be held two weeks before the big festival weekend and parade.

The Utah Pride Festival is a community event which features a broad spectrum of activities and entertainment. The 44th Utah Pride Festival will be held June 1–2

at Washington Square in downtown Salt Lake City. Pride 2019 is excited to offer additional celebratory events, diverse food and booth vendors, venue upgrades and excellent entertainment options.

The overall theme this year is “Exist.

Resist. Persist. Celebrating 50 years of Stonewall.” The beginnings of Pride worldwide are generally attributed to an uprising at the Stonewall Inn in New York City’s Greenwich Village in June, 1969.

From its humble beginnings in 1974 as an informal gathering in the park, the Utah Pride Festival has come a long way.

It is now a major Salt Lake City event that grows bolder and brighter every year. The Festival empowers the LGBTQ+ community of Salt Lake, as well as the state of Utah as a whole, to come together and celebrate. The Festival is now attended by more than 50,000 people and continues to grow each year. In 2018, the Pride Parade attracted 50,000 spectators.

A broad spectrum of people can be found at all these events, including members of the LGBTQ+ community, their family members and allies.

Booths and Parade Applications are now being taken on the Utah Pride Center website for booth rentals and parade entries.

Standard registration for exhibitors ends April 20, with late registration

extending through May 10 depending on availability. Rates vary depending on profit/nonprofit status and the size of the organization. Small grassroots organizations and arts and crafts organizations can participate in a tent with other similar groups. An interactive zone will be set up and a new kink zone is still in the works.

Parade applications are being taken through April 1. Because of the continued growth of the parade, new this year is a series of questions on the application which will help a selection committee

determine which groups will be allowed to participate. Parade organizers typically receive over 200 applications to participate, but only 150 can be accommodated.

Consideration of the size and number of participants of the parade entry, its focus on the LGBTQ+ community, and the “intersectionality of oppressions” of the applying group.

Schedule PRIDE SPECTACULAR kicks of Utah Pride Days on Friday May 17, from 6 to 9.30 p.m. at the Union Events Center 235 N. 500 West.

The REAL SALT LAKE PRIDE NIGHT will be held at their stadium, 9256 State St, Sandy. Details are still forthcoming.

The PRIDE INTERFAITH SERVICE will be Thursday May 30 from 7 to 8 p.m. at Christ United Methodist Church, 2375 E. 3300 South. The guest speaker will be Bishop Karen Oliveto, he first openly lesbian bishop of the United Methodist Church and the Bishop of Utah, Colorado, Montana, and Wyoming United Methodist Churches.

The YOUTH PRIDE DANCE will be from 8 to 11 p.m. on Friday May 31 on the Festival Grounds. Entrance at 500 S. State Street.

OUTDOORS and PROUD 5K will be the morning of Saturday June 1 from 8 to 11 a.m. at Jordan Park & Peace Gardens, 1060 S. 900 West

The annual PRIDE MARCH AND RALLY will be Saturday June 1 from 1 to 3 p.m. at the Utah State Capitol south stairs, 350 N. State Street.

The FESTIVAL itself will be Saturday June from 1 to 11 p.m. and Sunday June 2 from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. at Washington Square, the park around the Salt Lake City and County Building.

The UTAH PRIDE PARADE will again take place Sunday June 2 beginning at 10 a.m. at West Temple, running along Second South to Fourth East.

Other events are in the planning stages as well and will be in the next issue of QSaltLake Magazine, along with some of the entertainment highlights. Q More information at utahpridecenter.org

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOME & GARDEN

Qsaltlake.com |

Ways of getting your home noticed by springtime buyers Do you plan on selling your home this spring? The best way to ensure that your home gets the attention you want it to, is to make sure it is totally ready for when those buyers start looking at the local real estate market. Here are some tips that you can use to make sure your home is ready to get noticed, both inside and out. The more of these things you can get done, the better!

START BY CLEANING UP THE OUTSIDE Take a few minutes to check the outside of your home. Since it is spring, no one expects the outside to be perfect. This is especially true if you live in an area where it snows. However, taking the time to trim bushes, rake the yard if you can, and make sure that the landscaping is not covering walkways can go a long way towards making a great first impression.

Taking this one step further by cleaning the front door, wiping down the mailbox, and making sure your front porch light works can make your entryway appear even more inviting.

MAKE THE OUTSIDE INVITING, IF YOU CAN If it is already warm where you are, then add some nice color to the outside of your home. Add a few small planters with some flowering bulbs or spring flowers.

The little splashes of color make your visitors more able to picture themselves living at the house. You do not need to put a lot out there, just a few small planters or a nice window box near the entryway is enough. For those with winter weather, you can opt for fake flowers, or you can use small lights or decorations instead.

SHINE ALL GLASS SURFACES Take the time to wash all of your windows, polish all of your mirrors, and dust off any reflective surface in your home.

Windows that are difficult to see out of, or mirrors that are smudged give the impression that the house has not been maintained as well as it should have been.

If something as simple as mirrors and dusting is not kept up with, what about the bigger parts of the house? Keep up with the small details because buyers notice these little details.

DUST OFF STATIONARY MATERIALS OF YOUR HOME One area of the home that often gets overlooked is stationary materials within your home. Take the time to vacuum your stationary drapes and get the dust off of them. An even better option is that you can take them to the dry cleaners. Get them clean and fresh smelling. While most people will only look at them, someone who is seriously giving your home buying consideration will go up and move items like these around. Vacuum off any of your furniture that will be there during the open house or walk-through as well, for the same reason. The fresher the area smells and looks, the happier potential buyers will be.

SHARPEN THE LOOK OF ANY ROOM YOU CAN Taking $20 or $30 to update a room’s look is well worth it when it comes to making your home look and feel more inviting.

Add a fresh coat of neutral colored paint, and make sure the flooring of the room

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

is as clean and nice looking as you can make it. Get the carpet steam-cleaned if it hasn’t been done recently, or have your wood floors polished. Those simple changes can give your room a welcoming feel that invites potential buyers in.

MAKE ANY SIMPLE REPAIRS THAT STAND OUT You may have gotten used to not opening a window in that back room because there is a hole in the screen and you do not want bugs to come in, but a potential buyer does not know that. They are only going to see that you didn’t take care of a small detail. It takes a few minutes and very little money to replace a screen.

Check all windows for these types of problems, and fix any you find.

The same goes with other areas of your home. If you are so used to the imperfections of your home that you don’t notice them, ask a close friend or family member to look at your home objectively and point out any issues it may have. Make a list of the things they point out, and fix the things you have the ability to fix. This way, it shows that you gave your home a lot of TLC while living there, which boosts buyer confidence in your home.

HAVE A REAL ESTATE AGENT Having a real estate agent can also help you sell your home. They will point out things they know buyers will notice so that you can make changes before your home gets listed. If you identify as part of the LGBTQ community, you can also seek the help of an LGBTQ-friendly real estate agent. Q GayRealEstate.com and QPages.com will help you find the right agent.

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Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

Everything you need to know about the home inspection When buying a home, one of the most important steps prior to closing is having a home inspection. This inspection is done by a professional and can reveal many things about your potential new home that you may not have known.

It’s essential that you have one of these inspections done so you know if there are any potential issues with the property.

While appraisals are generally required for those buyers who are taking out a mortgage, you do not have to have an inspection. However, it’s highly recommended that you do. You do usually have a specific period of time in which to have a home inspection done. The normal period is ten days after your offer is accepted.

If you do not have an inspection done within this time, you may no longer have the option of doing one.

WHAT WILL THE INSPECTOR DO? Your real estate agent will usually arrange for the inspection on your behalf, but you have the right to be at the property while the inspector is there. Usually, your agent or someone from their office will be there as well. You can talk to the inspector about any concerns you have and ask questions.

Most inspections take about two hours, and the inspector will examine the property from foundation to roof. They will look for signs that the foundation is sinking, check all electrical outlets and fuses, get up on the roof, and much more. These inspections are designed to be incredibly thorough. Everything from doors that don’t latch quite right to major roofing issues will be listed on the report you receive. They will take photos of anything they believe is a problem.

It usually takes a few days for the inspector to complete their report. When they do, as the buyer, you are entitled to a full copy. Your agent should provide you with the report. If they do not send it automatically, you can request it. This report will detail all of the findings and include a summary page of all issues found. It will include photos of specific issues, suggestions such as “consult an engineer,” and may even include estimates for repairs.

One thing to keep in mind is that a home inspection is not a complete process. There are things that inspections do not look for. To find a full list of what is not inspected, it is best to ask your agent.

However, some common things that inspections do not always cover includes areas where insulation is missing, problems with the septic tank or sewer lines, the roofing material itself, and smells within the home. While not all of these may not be immediate issues, some of them can lead to expensive repairs down the line.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS INFORMATION? Once you have the inspection report, you have a few decisions to make. First, if the report has uncovered major issues that were not disclosed to you before you put in your offer, you may make the decision to withdraw the offer. This is completely within your right, and your earnest money will be returned to you in full. However, you will likely still be required to pay for the home inspection. Fortunately, inspections often cost no more than $500, so it’s not a major expense.

Your second option is to reopen negotiations with the seller. If the inspection indicates major foundation issues, you may ask that the seller either pay for repairs or reduce your offer. You may go back and forth a few times, but if both parties can accept the new terms, you can move forward with purchasing the home.

Your third option is for your agent to create an “Inspection Resolution” request. This is a list of repairs you are requesting be completed prior to closing — submitted in writing to the seller. The seller does not have to complete any of the listed items, but if choose that route, you then have the option of withdrawing your offer without penalty. If the list is fairly minor or if the seller is motivated to sell the property quickly, they are likely to agree to complete what you have asked them to.

In some cases, the seller may offer you a credit rather than completing the repairs/replacements. This credit may be taken off the total price of the property or applied to your closing costs. This is often done when the seller is unable to afford to do many repairs, is in a time crunch, or lives out of state and would have difficulty coordinating contractors.

In some cases, such as an FHA mortgage,

a cash reduction may not be an option.

Your lender may require specific repairs to be done before you can receive a loan — you’re agent will guide you in this regard.

HAVE THE RIGHT AGENT ON YOUR SIDE A home inspection may reveal very minor issues that you can overlook, or it may bring to light necessary repairs that could cost thousands of dollars. Either way, you want to make certain you have the right agent on your side to help you negotiate these repairs. For those who identify as a part of the LGBTQ community, having a gay, lesbian or gay friendly agent can be helpful. These agents understand the particular needs and concerns of our community. They will be able to help you find the home that meets all of your needs, and is in the condition necessary for you, you and your partner, and/or family.

You can connect with an agent online at www.GayRealEstate.com, a website that has been helping the LGBTQ community with home buying and selling for over 25 years — there is never a cost or obligation. Q

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOME & GARDEN

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Red Butte Garden Annual Spring Plant Sale May 11 The Annual Spring Plant Sale at Red Butte Garden is a unique event providing quality plants for home and garden while supporting the mission of Red Butte Garden. This sale is recognized as the best place to purchase plants that will grow well in Utah’s arid climate, as well as a source for unusual species that are difficult to find. Garden staff and volunteers will also be available to answer plant and gardening questions.

The sale features an impressive selection of herbs, specialty annuals, sun and shade-loving perennials, groundcovers,

Suggested Vegetable Planting Dates for the Wasatch Front SHAWN OLSEN, USU EXTENSION

The average date of the last spring frost will vary with location and elevation. Listed below are the 30-year average last frost dates for various cities.

AVERAGE LAST FROST Bountiful April 17 Farmington May 5 Midvale May 13 Ogden May 3 Provo May 1 SLC — Airport April 26

ornamental grasses, shrubs, conifers, own-root roses, vines, trees—and the best selection of heirloom vegetables, native plants, water-wise, and drought tolerant plants in one location.

The extensive vegetable selection includes over 250 varieties, including 80 different tomato cultivars, 45 different peppers (sweet & hot), 34 squash and pumpkin varieties, and a wide range of greens. At least 95 different vegetables are heirlooms. There will also be a large variety of vegetables that can be grown in small areas including container gardens.

SLC — U of U Salt Lake Co Tooele Tremonton

Most plants found at the sale are grown by local nurseries, and many vegetables and annuals are grown on-site in the Red Butte Garden greenhouses. Nine months before the sale, the Garden’s horticulture team select and order seeds, which are then sown and tended by staff and volunteers.

Shop twice. Once for must-have plants, and again to browse for overlooked treasures. Q For more information about all the plants, parking map, and shopping tips visit: redbuttegarden.org/spring-plantsale/

GROUP B: SEMI-HARDY May 1 April 30 May 7 May 3

GROUP A: HARDY (Plant as soon as the soil dries out in the spring.)

Average Planting Date: March 1– April 15 Artichoke Cabbage Radish Asparagus Kohlrabi Rhubarb Broccoli Onions Spinach Brussels Sprouts Peas Turnip

Plant a week or two after “A” group or about two weeks before average last spring frost.

Average Planting Date: March 20–May 1 Beet Lettuce Potato Carrot Parsley Salsify Cauliflower Parsnip Swiss Chard Endive

GROUP C: TENDER Plant on the average date of the last spring frost—about when first apples reach full bloom.)

Average Planting Date: May 5 –June 1

Celery, Snap Bean, Cucumber, Spinach, Dry Bean, Summer Squash, New Zealand Sweet Corn

GROUP D: VERY TENDER Plant when the soil is warm, about two weeks after “C” group.

Average Planting Date: May 20 –June 10 Pumpkin, Tomato, Watermelon, Cantaloupe, Eggplant, Lima, Bean Pepper, Sweet, Hot Winter Squash

APRIL 4, 2019 |

HOME & GARDEN | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

Your Spring Gardening Calendar April Checklist

Plant seeds of cool season vegetables (peas, lettuce, spinach and radishes...) as soon as garden soil is workable Check out over 55 different vegetable / herb fact sheets produced by USU Extension Consider planting peas in the garden every 2-3 weeks (until early May) to extend the harvest Click here for more information about how to plant and harvest asparagus Click here for more information about how to plant and harvest rhubarb Mechanically control young garden weeds by hoeing or hand pulling Protect fruit blossoms and tender garden plants from late freezing temperatures. Click here for critical temperatures in fruit If storing bulbs, check the bulb’s condition to ensure they are firm, removing any soft or rotten bulbs If locally available, plant bare root trees and shrubs, keeping the exposed roots moist until planted Wait to prune roses until after buds begin to swell to avoid late frosts damaging new growth Prune spring flowering shrubs (those that bloom before June) after they have bloomed to encourage new flower buds for next season Divide crowded, fall-blooming perennials Divide cool season ornamental grasses when new growth begins to emerge Apply chelated iron (FeEDDHA) to plants with prior problems with Iron Chlorosis Use organic (wood chips or bark) mulches to retain soil moisture around shrubs and trees Plant a tree to Celebrate National Arbor Day. The USU Tree Browser offers an interactive list of tree species adapted to the Intermountain West Apply pre-emergent herbicides in late March — mid April to control annual weeds in your lawn (crabgrass, spurge…)

Click here for information on planting a lawn In compacted sites, aerate with hollow core aerator when turfgrass is actively growing (April — June)

Check sprinkler systems for leaks, clean filters, fix and align heads Pests and Problems: Click here for the ‘Utah Home Orchard Pest Management Guide’ Learn about common problems in: apples, peaches and nectarines, cherries, pears, plums or apricots Reduce chemical use to promote beneficial insects in your landscape Treat for Coryneum blight in stone fruits (cherries, peaches, nectarines, apricots and plums) at shuck split (approximately 10 days after flower petals drop) Treat for powdery mildew on apples beginning when leaves are emerging (at 1/2 inch green) until June Monitor wet weather during bloom in apples, pears and hawthorns to determine whether to treat for Fire blight Treat fruit trees for cat facing insects (stink bugs…) to prevent dimples and pucker marks in fruit trees Preventative control for Peach twig borer in peaches, nectarines and apricots helps reduce twig and fruit damage later in the season. For specific timing see http://utahpests.usu.edu/ipm/ Control spring flying bark beetles in pine trees and other conifers Protect birch trees previously infested by the Bronze birch borer by applying a systemic pesticides Watch for Cutworm damage in turfgrass and new vegetable starts

May Checklist Plant warm season vegetables and annual flowers once the threat of the last frost has passed. Click here for a listing of the average last and first frost dates By planting tomatoes deeper, they are able to form more roots along the stem creating a more vigorous plant Consider planting sweet corn in the garden every other week (until early July) to extend the harvest Consider the various types of fertilizers. Click here for more information on traditional fertilizer options. Click here for more information on organic fertilizers Thin out overcrowded seedlings using a pair of scissors, trying to avoid disturbing the young roots Protect fruit blossoms and tender

garden plants from late freezing temperatures. Click here for critical temperatures in fruit Plant summer blooming bulbs including gladiola, begonia, dahlia and canna Divide warm season ornamental grasses when new growth begins to emerge Click here for more information about landscape weeds Allow the foliage of spring blooming bulbs (tulips, daffodils and crocus) to die down before cutting the leaves off Click here for information on planting a lawn Turfgrass needs minimal irrigation each week. Click here for irrigation needs in your area In compacted sites, aerate with hollow core aerator when turfgrass is actively growing (April — June) Control broadleaf weeds in the lawn when temperatures are between 60-80°F. Follow the label and stop use of broadleaf herbicides once the temperature is above 85°F. Apply a slow-release lawn fertilizer to provide a long lasting affect throughout the summer months Pests and Problems: Monitor newly planted vegetables for Cutworm and flea beetle damage Monitor for Cankerworm damage on scrub oak and Box elder trees along the foothills Monitor for aphids on lush new spring growth on a variety of plants. Treat for aphids by using “softer” solutions such as spraying them with a hard stream of water or by using an insecticidal soap Monitor for slugs and snails. These pests thrive in moist, cool areas of the garden and landscape feeding on a variety of plant hosts Protect Ash trees from the Lilac / ash borer around the first of May Control Codling moth in apples and pears to reduce wormy fruit. For specific timing see our Utah Pests Advisories Treat for powdery mildew on apples beginning when leaves are emerging (at 1/2 inch green) until June Watch for insect pests in raspberries from mid-May thru early June Watch for Cutworm damage in turfgrass and new vegetable starts Monitor for damaging turfgrass insects.

In areas previously damaged, consider a preventative (systemic) insecticide

22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

quotes “No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth, and no culture comparable to that of the garden.”

— Thomas Jefferson

“What is a weed? A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Gardening is how I relax. It’s another form of creating and playing with colors.”

— Oscar de la Renta

“Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same.”

— Helen Keller

“Keep love in your heart.

A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”

— Oscar Wilde

“On Saturday afternoons when all the things are done in the house and there’s no real work to be done, I play Bach and Chopin and turn it up real loudly and get a good bottle of chardonnay and sit out on my deck and look out at the garden.”

— Maya Angelou

“If I’m in the country, my big idea is to do nothing.

It means talking, it means cooking with the leftovers in the fridge — l’art d’accommoder les restes — it means gardening.”

— Christian Louboutin

APRIL 4, 2019 |

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Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

TAX TIME FEEL SAFE AND CONFIDENT

Hooray!

I’m an apostate!

Gay owned and operated.

Filing individual, business, estate and trust returns

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Editor’s note: This is a republish of Katis’ column after the LDS Church declared same-sex marriage and cohabitation as apostasy. was a banner year for the LGBT community.

Early this summer, led by four amazing women and one man with an eye on his legacy, the Supreme Court ruled against institutional bigotry and ushered in marriage equality as the law of the land. To me this was the next step, a natural progression, in the continuing advancement of civil rights. There’s still much work to be done — nondiscrimination laws to be passed, and acceptance and protection for Trans* people — but achieving marriage equality was big.

Then of course, little Salt Lake beat far larger and more progressive cities like New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco to elect as its leader a member of the LGBT community — when voters picked Jackie Biskupski as mayor.

And then there was the decision by the LDS Church to deem gay men and lesbian women in relationships as “apostates,” excommunicate them, and bar any children being raised in two-dad or two-mom families from fully participating in the religion.

Of course, those kids can be baptized and become fully-practicing Mormons at 18 — assuming as young adults they’re willing to reject their gay or lesbian parents’ relationship and denounce marriage equality.

Gee that sounds healthy.

What irks me about this entire situation isn’t so much the decision as it is local media and gay rights organizations deeming the policy as an attack against the LGBT community. It is not. It may be an issue for LGBT Mormons, but that’s where it ends.

I guess since I write about my experiences as a gay dad, quite a few people have asked me my thoughts about this new doctrine. My answer was the same to all of them: What do I care? I’m not Mormon. Never have been, and have absolute-

2015

ly no desire to become one. As far as I’m concerned, the church leaders handed every person — gay and straight — a great response to overly pesky missionaries: I’d love to learn more, but I’m an apostate!

No, I don’t think Equality Utah should hold rallies denouncing it. Nope, Mayor-elect Biskupski shouldn’t seek an audience to discuss it. What the Mormon Church does is its business. Pretending it is somehow an issue affecting the larger LGBT community is naive and, frankly, gives greater credit to the pronouncements coming down from South Temple than is deserved. Yes, there are many practicing and former Mormons for whom this decision is heartbreaking. I understand that. I empathize with them.

But for the millions of non-Mormon gay men and lesbian women in this country, it is irrelevant.

I have many dear LDS friends whom I love very much. Several of them contacted me about this issue. Many of them are torn: they love and respect their LGBT friends and family, but are also devoted to their faith. The pain my wonderful friend, Gary, felt was palpable in his voice. Here is a 70-something year old man, who honorably served a mission, married his beautiful wife in the temple, and loves me like a nephew, accepting my family as a part of his own. The anguish this proclamation caused him cut me to the bone.

My response to Gary, to my other LDS friends, and the only commentary on the issue I published on my Facebook page was simple: the Sunday morning when Mormon bishops read this new decree, my sons served as altar boys and took Holy Communion in the Greek Orthodox Church in which they are being raised. Then, afterward, as part of our church-sponsored Boy Scout troop, they served pancakes at a breakfast fundraiser.

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Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Linda Harvey

The Gay,

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Lesbian and Straight Education Network’s annual Day of Silence is Friday, April 12, and you know what that means. Silence.

Well, sort of. The anti-LGBTQ right is always very vocal this time of year.

According to GLSEN, the Day of Silence “is a student-led national event where folks take a vow of silence to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ people at school.”

It sounds, well, pretty tame to say the least (no pun intended!).

But to hear Linda Harvey tell it, the Day of Silence is a “weapon” in a “war on children.”

This war, Harvey writes on the Barb Wire website, “includes pronouns as a battlefield, schools secretly colluding with deeply disturbed children behind parents’ backs and even teachers encouraging students to join private ‘gay’ clubs on Instagram without parental knowledge.”

What? Teenagers on Instagram without parental knowledge? Can you even imagine?

The Day of Silence, which GLSEN has been sponsoring since 2001, is a textbook example of peaceful protest. What are people protesting, you ask?

According to GLSEN, “Nearly four in five LGBTQ students don’t see positive LGBTQ representation in their curriculum, nearly eight in 10 experience verbal harassment and almost a third miss school for feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. The Day of Silence is a national movement to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ students in school, which demands that school leaders take action to be more inclusive.”

Alas, “inclusive” is a dirty word to Harvey. In fact, she doesn’t believe LGBTQ kids are being bullied.

“Here’s how the bullying story goes,” she writes. “We are told that people

who claim a homosexual or opposite-sex identity — which no one needs to do, so always keep that in mind — that these folks are relentlessly bullied, are perennial victims and are being ‘silenced’ everywhere. Are you laughing yet? Where and when have homosexuals and their allies been ‘silent’ lately? If only!”

LOL! Those big-mouth homos! Those loud lesbians! Those garish gays! Those booming bisexuals. Those thesaurus-using trans folks. OMG aren’t you laughing SO HARD right now about them supposedly being bullied? No? Well, Linda is. She’s not very nice.

I’m struck by her aside that “no one needs to [claim a homosexual or opposite-sex identity], so always keep that in mind.” First of all, I’m not sure what an “opposite-sex identity” is, but Harvey doesn’t know either, so at least we’re even. But I’m struck by her claim that her readers should “always keep that in mind.” It sure sounds like what she’s saying is that no one needs to come out as LGBTQ, and if people choose to come out, well, sucks for them and any bullying they experience they brought on themselves.

She admits that some bullying happens “and that’s never acceptable.” But then she says that LGBTQ oppression is a “phony narrative” and that it’s “quite a stretch” to accuse people of being bullies just because they don’t see LGBTQ bullying as a big problem but they do see the existence of LGBTQ people as a big problem.

“Any person can object to high-risk ‘LGBTQ’ behavior but also, never bully anyone,” Harvey writes (comma placement is all hers). “And of course, faithful Christians believe the Word of God, and so we know this behavior is wrong. So the Day of Silence is an event that, by definition, discriminates against Christians.”

Ah, yes. The old “not being allowed to

insist that LGBTQ people are gross and damaged violates my religious beliefs” argument.

Harvey then asks, “Who are the real bullies here?”

You are, Linda. It’s still you. Why are you so bad at this?

Thankfully Harvey knows how to protect innocent would-be bullies from being unwillingly exposed to the idea that LGBTQ people are human beings worthy and deserving of respect and kindness.

“We are suggesting that parents keep kids home that day and away from the false messages that don’t help anything,” she writes. “Our children will not benefit from lies combined with a flagrant misuse of instructional time.”

OK, so if I’m understanding this correctly, the most hardcore anti-LGBTQ students will be skipping school on Friday, April 12, so that they don’t miss any instructional time. Got it.

It’s interesting that Harvey thinks that the Day of Silence doesn’t “help anything,” and yet she’s urging parents to keep their kids away from school that day lest they be tempted into humanizing or feeling any compassion toward LGBTQ people. Yep, sounds like the Day of Silence is totally ineffective at reaching people, then.

The Day of Silence is,” according to Harvey, “a huge con job” intended to normalize “sexual deviance.”

Oh, Linda. Shut up. Shut up for us all.

For more information on how to participate in the Day of Silence, visit glsen. org/day-silence. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

APRIL 4, 2019 |

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Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

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Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

lambda lore

The 1992 Utah hate crime bill

BY BEN WILLIAMS

The first

attempt in Utah to include sexual orientation as part of a hate crime bill was introduced in the 1992 Legislative Session by House Minority Leader Rep. Frank Pignanelli, who had been lobbied by the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats.

GLUD used statistics compiled by the Anti-Violence Project to convince Pignanelli the necessity of legislation that would impose increased penalties for crimes committed against a person because of the victim’s race, religion, ancestry, national origin, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

A Dan Jones opinion poll found that Utahns were split whether gays should be included in a hate-crimes law. Opposition came from both Republicans and Democrats with the catch phrase, “Special Rights” bandied about. Most Republicans and some Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee indicated they didn’t want to include homosexuals in the bill.

Former state legislator Merrill Nelson summed up the general consensus of the state legislature when he said “homosexuals should not be given special status under the new bill, considering that sodomy is against the law in Utah.” However, Pignanelli, after learning at least half of all hate crimes committed in Utah were committed against gays and lesbians, told other lawmakers it made little sense to have a hate-crime law that excluded them.

The Utah lawmakers were lobbied by three ultra conservative groups who viewed homosexuality a threat to society.

Those organizations that were against the inclusion of “sexual orientation” in the bill were primarily the Evergreen Foundation, Families Alert, and the Utah Eagle Forum.

Evergreen, whose mission was to change the sexual orientation of homosexuals, stated while gays should be protected against hate crimes just as any

other type of person, said: “However, supporting laws to protect deviant people against hate crimes does not mean that we should stop condemning their sexual perversions and taking prudent and lawful measures to protect society against those sexual perversions.”

Mormon Moralist Joy Beech of Families Alert said statistics show that a number of homosexuals molest children.

“Sodomy is a crime in Utah,” Beech said, “we should not give privilege to those who actually violate our laws and are criminals.”

Gayle Ruzicka of the conservative Utah Eagle Forum supported Beech’s position saying, “Acts of homosexuality are illegal.

I can’t believe that you would place a higher penalty on a gang that raped a homosexual youth than on one that raped my daughter. Why not just enforce our current laws?”

When it was reported that the lawmakers were considering passing the hate crime bill without including sexual orientation, a large protest rally was held Feb. 2, at the State Capitol; which was in vain.

Pignanelli’s bill was passed but failed to include sexual orientation. The hatecrime law passed by the Utah State Legislature dropped sexual orientation from having a protected status even though it was GLUD that had pushed so strongly for a hate crime bill. The legislation made it a 3rd-degree felony to intimidate or terrorize a person based upon a person’s religion or race in violation of their civil rights.

At the state Democrat Party convention in 1990, GLUD was called “a new political powerhouse” by KUTV news reporter Rod Decker, and soon became one of the largest caucuses in the party to be feared by conservative Democrats.

Under the leadership of Committee Chairman Michael Aaron and Executive Director Dale Sorenson, GLUD organized

Former Rep. Frank Pignanelli

the gay community into a political force within Utah’s Democrat Party.

At the 1992 Utah State Democrat Convention, delegates debated gay issues, including hate crime legislation, anti-discrimination ordinances, and gay teen suicide. The Utah Democrat platform contained a plank forbidding sexual orientation discrimination in the conduct of party affairs.

However, conservative Democrats tried to remove “sexual orientation” from the discrimination clause. Sorenson would have none of that and lobbied fiercely to keep sexual orientation in the original language. In the end, “sexual orientation” remained in the Utah Democrat’s platform.

More importantly, GLUD managed to defeat incumbent Democrat Ted Lewis, who had voted against including sexual orientation in the 1992 Hate Crimes Bill. Lewis was replaced by Pete Suazo, who eventually was elected to fill Lewis’ former seat in Utah’s House of Representatives.

Additionally GLUD pushed Salt Lake County commissioners to adopt an anti-discrimination ordinance drafted by David Nelson. In 1992, Salt Lake County government consisted of only three commissioners. At the time they were two Democrats, Randy Horiuchi and Jim Bradley, and one Republican, Mike Stewart.

Commissioner Horiuchi agreed to

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Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

sponsor David Nelson’s anti-discrimination ordinance which included sexual orientation because he experienced discrimination firsthand as a member of a racial minority. The Salt Lake County Board of Commissioners approved the ordinance 2-to-1 when Horiuchi and Bradley voted to adopt the anti-discrimination ordinance.

It was the first governmental ban on gay discrimination in Utah, although, in 1991, the University of Utah adopted an anti-discrimination policy that included sexual orientation.

Eagle Forum Director Gayle Ruzicka said her organization was caught off guard by Salt Lake County’s “hasty action” of passing a protection law for gays and she promised her “organization would be ready next time.”

At the 1992 Republican State Convention, Don Ruzicka, Gayle’s husband, denounced homosexuals as a “health threat.” He also helped write the state Republican platform which claimed, “The greatest discrimination that currently exists is treating AIDS as a civil rights issue rather than as a public health issue.”

Dale Sorensen, however, was jubilant over the win on the county level and boasted, “We plan to take this ordinance to the legislature and every other county and city.”

On a roll, GLUD asked Salt Lake City Mayor Deedee Corradini if she would sign an executive order prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation for the city and then work to include sexual orientation as a specific protected category in the city’s ordinances. She, however, turned down the request without explanation. Q

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CABARET

VAVAVOOM CABARET! presents a Las Vegas-esque burlesque which also includes classic and modern forms, as well as aerial and dance performances, live vocals, and a few surprises — such as Jive dance lessons by Natasha (not Fatale, she was a cartoon character), but just as sexy from what I hear. And DJ Noe Correa will spin you right, right ’round baby!

FRIDAY — VIVA LAS VEGAS APPE-TEASER

Tony’s Gay Agenda

BY TONY HOBDAY

5

Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 8 p.m. Tickets $15 Adv/$20 Day of, ticketfly.com

CONCERTS

Since the age of 16, tyDi has been spinning all the way from Mooloolaba (oddly the name I have chosen for my future first kin-garoo) on Queensland’s coast of Australia. He’s in his early 30s — yummy and talented and brilliant. Enjoy!

Get ready for the (pitch-Black) dark pop sounds of ANDY BLACK when he brings his tour in support of his new album, The Ghost of Ohio. The ANDY BLACK Faim and Kulick also perform. And by the way betches, every pair of online tickets comes with a copy of Black’s new album.

Approximately 24–48 hours after purchase, expect an additional email with instructions on how to redeem it. US/Canadian residents only. One CD per pair of online tickets. Not valid for Fan-to-Fan Resale.

Blah, blah, blah right?

SATURDAY — TYDI

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The Complex, 536 W. 600 South, 8 p.m. Tickets $18 Adv/$22 Day of, smithstix.com

TUESDAY — ANDY BLACK

The Depot, 13 N. 400 West, 6:30 p.m. Tickets $23.50 Adv/$28.50 Day of, smithstix.com

DRAG SHOWS

JRC Events presents SILKY NUTMEG GANACHE at the Metro Music Hall (of Femme Fatales). It is hosted

by Gia Bianca Stephens, Wiltavious, Electra Jones, Izzy Lovely, Divina 2.0, and Eva Chanel Stephens. So get your glitter-glam on, betches!

SATURDAY — SILKY NUTMEG GANACHE

6

Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 9 p.m., through Sunday.

Tickets $20-75, ticketfly.com

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

FUNDRAISERS

Community Nursing Services hosts THE ART & SOUP CELEBRATION, a two-day event that features 50 Utah artists, and over 25 local restaurants providing unlimited scrumptious samplings of soups, breads and delicious desserts. Watch artists create “Quick Draws” — aka Annie Oakley, LOL,— and enter drawings to win a trip to New York, Sonoma, or Cabo. One hundred percent of ticket sales go to the CNS Charitable Care Program, and artists will donate 35-percent of sales to the cause.

THURSDAY — ART & SOUP CELEBRATION

4

Salt Palace Convention Center, 100 S. West Temple, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. & 5-9 p.m., through Sunday. Tickets $25, cns-cares.org

MOVIES

MAPPLETHORPE is a chronicle of the career of gay photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, from his rise to fame in the 1970s to his death in 1989 at the age of 42.

The film also stars gay actor John Benjamin Hickey, Tony award-winner for The Normal Heart.

5

FRIDAY — MAPPLETHORPE

Tower Theatre, 876 E. 900 South, times vary.

Tickets $6.75-9.25

THEATRE

On Pitch Performing Arts present THE MUSICAL COMEDY MURDERS OF 1940, where a creative team responsible for a recent Broadway flop (in which three chorus girls were murdered by the mysterious “Stage Door Slasher”) assemble for a backer’s audition of their new show at the Westchester estate of a wealthy “angel.”

The house is replete with sliding panels, secret passageways, and a German maid who is apparently four different people — all of which figure diabolically in the comic mayhem which follows when the infamous “Slasher” makes his reappearance and strikes again and again. So, don’t make me murder your faces, and go see this witty play by John Bishop.

FRIDAY — THE MUSICAL COMEDY MURDERS OF 1940

12

On Pitch Performing Arts, 587 N. Main St., Layton, 7:30 p.m., through April 27. Tickets $12-15, onpitchperformingarts.com

APRIL 4, 2019 |

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Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

Broadway at the Eccles 2019/20 season where #youwillbefound Broadway at the Eccles announced the 2019/20 season, which includes their production of the winner of six Tony Awards, DEAR EVAN HANSEN. Also slated are more renowned musicals, a Disney favorite, a work by gay playwright Terrence McNally, and special engagement of THE ILLUSIONISTS. Experience the acclaimed new production of the legendary musical MISS SAIGON, from the creators of Les Misérables, Oct. 15–20.

It’s the story of a young Vietnamese woman named Kim who is orphaned by war and forced to work in a bar run by a notorious character known as The Engineer. There she meets and falls in love with an American G.I. named Chris, but they are torn apart by the fall of Saigon. For three years, Kim goes on an epic journey of survival to find her way back to Chris, who has no idea he’s fathered a son.

Featuring stunning spectacle and a sensational cast of 42 performing the soaring score, including Broadway hits like “The Heat is On in Saigon,” “The Movie in My Mind,” “Last Night of the World” and “American Dream,” it’s a theatrical event you will never forget.

Next comes A CHRISTMAS STORY, THE MUSICAL, bringing the classic 1983 movie to hilarious life on stage, Dec. 3–8.

It chronicles young and bespectacled Ralphie Parker as he schemes his way toward the holiday gift of his dreams, an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle (“You’ll shoot your eye out kid!”).

An infamous leg lamp, outrageous pink-bunny pajamas, a maniacal department store Santa, and a triple-dog-dare to lick a freezing flagpole are just a few of the distractions that stand between Ralphie and his Christmas wish.

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF opens the new year, Jan. 21–26. Tony-winning director Bartlett Sher and the team behind South Pacific, The King and I, and 2017 Tony-winning Best Play Oslo, bring a fresh and authentic vision to this beloved

theatrical masterpiece from Tony winner Joseph Stein and Pulitzer Prize winners Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick.

The original production won 10 Tony Awards, including a special Tony for becoming the longest-running Broadway musical of all time. You’ll be there when the sun rises on this new production by a wonderful cast and a lavish orchestra telling this heartwarming story of fathers and daughters, husbands and wives, and the timeless traditions that define faith and family.

Broadway at the Eccles follows with DEAR EVAN HANSEN, March 4–14, 2020.

In the groundbreaking show — winner of six Tony awards, including Best Musical — a letter that was never meant to be seen, a lie that was never meant to be told, a life he never dreamed he could have finally presents awkward Evan a real chance to fit in. Dear Evan Hansen is the deeply personal and profoundly contemporary musical about life and the way we live it.

A month into Spring, 2020, Broadway at the Eccles presents DISNEY’S ­FROZEN, April 15–May 10. A mysterious secret. A family torn apart. As one sister struggles with being an outsider and harnessing her powers within, the other sets out on a thrilling adventure to bring her family together once again. Both are searching for love, but they’ll learn that to find it they’ll have to look inside themselves first.

An unforgettable theatrical experience filled with sensational special effects,

stunning sets and costumes, and powerhouse performances, Frozen is everything you want in a musical: It’s moving.

It’s spectacular. And above all, it’s pure Broadway joy.

Closing the 2019/20 season with a resurrection, June 9–14, is ANASTASIA, a dazzling show that transports us from the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s, as a brave young woman sets out to discover the mystery of her past. Pursued by a ruthless Soviet officer determined to silence her, Anya enlists the aid of a dashing conman and a lovable ex-aristocrat. Together, they embark on an epic adventure to help her find home, love, and family.

Anastasia features a book by celebrated gay playwright Terrence McNally, a lush new score by Stephen Flaherty (music) and Lynn Ahrens (lyrics) with direction

by Tony Award-winner Darko Tresnjak.

SPECIAL ADD-ON It’s no ignus fatuus, Broadway at the Eccles truly presents THE ILLUSIONISTS — LIVE FROM BROADWAY, Feb. 14–16.

The mind-blowing spectacular showcases the jaw-dropping talents of the most incredible illusionists on earth. The show has shattered box office records across the globe and dazzles audiences of all ages with a powerful mix of the most outrageous and astonishing acts ever to be seen on stage. It’s a non-stop show packed with thrilling and sophisticated magic of unprecedented proportions.

Individual tickets are not yet available. For season passes or the wait-list option, visit broadway-at-the-eccles.com.

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Qsaltlake.com |

This Is Ben Platt

‘Dear Evan Hansen’ actor-singer talks telling his story with debut album and the problem with a coming-out announcement

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

It comes

up casually, as Ben Platt prefers. Tucked into “Older,” a theatrical juggernaut that doesn’t even try to hide the fact that the actor-singer introduced Evan Hansen to the world (because why would it?), the line is a personal aside expressed on an otherwise universal ballad about wishing to speed up time in your youth, only to hope for more of it as you age: “And will I get to know myself in the place I am / Get to fall in love with another man, and understand.”

If you didn’t already know Ben Platt is gay, this is how he wishes you’d find out.

Casually.

The theater star turned pop crooner came out in his personal life when he was 12, then landed his Broadway debut in The Book of Mormon as Elder Cunningham in 2012. He went on to bag a Grammy and a Tony (he has an Emmy too, putting him on EGOT watch) for his moving portrayal of the titular teen in Dear Evan Hansen, also on Broadway. And, of course, he brought literal magic to the Pitch Perfect franchise, as super nerd Benji Applebaum.

But Platt’s earnest and emotional Atlantic debut Sing to Me Instead is his first public expression of self, at 25. “The main reason I wanted to make this music was to have the opportunity to go around the country and play it live and have that live connection, because that’s what I grew up loving the most,” he says, “and singing live is my favorite thing to do.”

In addition to a 12-city tour, Platt will also star alongside Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Lange and Bette Midler this year as a high school go-getter who’s eager to be the actual president — but first, student government — in the forthcoming Netflix comedy series The Politician, which debuts Sept. 27. The series, he says, is, “in true Ryan Murphy fashion, very queer-positive.”

During our recent conversation, Platt also discussed being the reason so many

people are crying, LGBTQ stigma in Hollywood and why he thinks we should move beyond coming-out announcements.

How do you process the fact that you’ve been making so many people cry with this album? You know, it’s a strange thing.

I think it’s just nice to see that people are finding ways to connect to it. I tried to make it as sort of specific as possible because usually that kind of thing begets the most universality, and it’s been really nice that that’s really been the case. And I hope it’s all good, cathartic-type tears and not the bad kind! (Laughs) How did these songs come to you? In waves?

All at once? First in waves. I think when I first sat down to write the album I tried to just lean on what came in terms of what I thought deserved to be sung about, because I come from the theater, so I feel like my philosophy has always been that you only really sing when there’s something emotionally valuable enough to sing about, and that ended up being largely the relationships that I’d had and a couple I was in while writing.

So I think it was a mixture of trying to lean on those experiences and those emotions, then also accruing phrases and ideas and conceptual things that I felt hadn’t been necessarily stated that way before or said that way before and finding a way to join them.

What hadn’t been conveyed that you wanted to say with this album? “Grow as You Go” is the one that comes to mind only because I had never really heard a song that addressed this cop-out thing that always tends to happen when you’re in a relationship and you get to a point where it gets a bit too scary and the person backs out with the excuse of, “I need to go find who I am and I don’t have enough legs to stand on as my own person.” Of course that’s valid in many cases, but I’ve also found out that it’s kind of something to hide behind.

I think if the connection is strong

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

enough, and theoretically if it’s a special enough person and it’s the right person, then it shouldn’t really keep you from experiencing personal growth and finding who you are just because you happen to be with someone else who is also figuring those things out.

Was there ever a time you didn’t think an album like this, where you could be your out, authentic self, would be possible? I think, yeah. If we’re all realistic about the world, it’s not all roses and it’s not all fantastic and we don’t live in a vacuum where it’s all pure acceptance. And particularly as an actor, there’s a lot of stigma surrounding what you’re castable as when you’re out of the closet, and sort of what characters you can play and how people will view you going forward.

But as far as the decision [to be out], it really was a no-brainer, because if I was gonna try to do something that felt authentic to me and was gonna sort of express any kind of truth in my own life then there would be no room to edit it or change it just because I hadn’t expressed those things before.

You say there’s a stigma to be out if you’re an actor. Do you think gay actors and musicians are asked to keep their sexuality quiet when promoting projects and has that ever happened to you? I’m sure that’s something people encounter. I know that’s definitely not something we’ve moved forward from in general. I have been really lucky personally to work pretty much only in environments where it was incredibly accepting and open — and, I mean, I grew up in the theater where everyone is gay, so it was never an issue (laughs). And I don’t necessarily think that an actor’s private life, regardless of their sexuality or any of that, is pertinent when you’re playing a different character. I think when you’re promoting something, it’s about the project and the work. What was beautiful about this experience was the work: It was sort of built into the work itself, and it was part of what the content is. And I think it gave me an opportunity to discuss it in the context of art rather than sort of trying to interject it into a conversation about work that was really sort of irrelevant to it.

But I do maybe think there is pressure to present a certain accepted form of

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masculinity, or to feel like you can still fit into certain boxes so you don’t limit yourself. I’m hopeful that is slowly fading away and that everybody can just accept that actors are chameleons and we can play who we can play.

persona that’s been your staple? Sure — sure! Less the archetype and more so the specific role of Evan Hansen, I think, especially in the context of music, just because I think most people, as far as my voice, are most familiar with that album. So I’ve tried to really embrace the emotionality of that and how beautiful it is that people connected to that character and my interpretation of that character, and try to use that as a fire under my butt to create my own stuff and to put my own self out there rather than a road block of, “Let me try to change the way that I’m viewed.” Hopefully just by virtue of the fact that I’m now presenting myself free of any character, that’s just gonna change the perception regardless of how I posture myself.

received. There are so many different measures of that, but definitely as I give the social a scroll, if you will, there are beautiful messages from people. Of course there are messages from youth, particularly LGBTQ youth who feel really affected by the representation and feel really seen and like they can see themselves in the art, which is something that’s obviously very beautiful to me. But what’s been the most heartening to me is how innocuous that aspect of it has been and how it’s really been about the music itself, and how regardless of walk of life or sexuality or age, people are really finding ways that these songs fit into their lives, and that’s the ultimate gift: that they become so malleable. That’s been really beautiful.

Does maturity explain the beard? Yeah — well, I just prefer to have a beard whenever possible. I’ve just been playing teenagers so much, like in The Politician, that I’ve not been able to have one. I’m enjoying it while I can.

That songs that are very specific to your own life can have universal appeal? For sure. And that I can sort of express an experience that can then make it maybe easier for someone else to go through that same experience or an experience like that.

One YouTube commenter wrote: “Ben’s beard grows as his heart breaks.” (Laughs) That’s about right!

Is it necessary to still make a coming-out announcement in 2019? I gather that you think it’s not? I just don’t think it should be perceived as an abnormality at all, and in and of itself, having to announce something suggests that it’s departing from the norm or that it’s something that needs to be addressed. I think it should just be part of who we are — same as that I’m Jewish, and I’m also gay. The more that it can become an assumed part of reality, the better.

So, for example, it’s time to move on from calling you “gay musician Ben Platt.” We don’t need that identifier anymore, do we? I agree. Yes, indeed.

In putting forward your own authentic self with this album, have you consciously had to work against the sort of nerdy-kid

Alongside Blake Shelton and Zac Efron, you were included in People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2017, as Sexiest Broadway Performer. Were you prepared for that moment in your career? Certainly not!

(Laughs) That was not something that was ever on my sort of preconceived bucket list! I mean, it’s very flattering and very nice, but it was never a conscious goal. It was not like the Tony and the Broadway of all of it, but it was lovely to see! And it made me feel good — and made me want to go out and go on some dates!

Did it get you some dates? Well, not necessarily from it but it restored a bit of confidence. It was a nice boost.

And then you were on Ellen recently, noting you’re single, so that couldn’t have hurt. Yeah, exactly! Whenever possible.

I’m around.

Are LGBTQ youth reaching out to you expressing what this music means to them?

Are you seeing the same tweets that I’m seeing? It’s hard to gauge. This is the first time I’ve released music on my own, so this is the first time I’m experiencing, like, how to experience the way it’s being

What have you learned from other out artists, like Sam Smith and Troye Sivan, when it comes to navigating the music world as an out artist? I would say from all artists, not just queer artists. But certainly all of my favorite artists, queer or not, are sort of the ones who are true to themselves and more singular to themselves and not really wasting any time trying to fit into a preconceived box. Something that’s been really wonderful about working with Atlantic is they’ve been so reverential to my vision, allowing me to lead the way creatively and really trusting my instinct and my gut feeling, and allowing me to be the kind of artist I wanna be and not sort of “pick a lane” in any way.

I think the only reason it’s been successful thus far and people are connecting with it is because they’ve allowed me to be individualistic. And so I certainly admire any artist, queer or not, who is able to blaze their own path in that way.

Just if you’re authentic, I think that’s the most attractive quality beyond just a beautiful voice, feeling like this is undoubtedly exactly who you are. Q As editor of Q Syndicate, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SPRING ARTS GUIDE

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

This queer world, according to Anna Paquin ‘True Blood’ actress talks ‘tricky’ LGBTQ representation, understated queer roles and trans teachings

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Enough

with the labels: Anna Paquin just wants LGBTQ people to be people. As star and executive producer of Pop TV’s Flack, Paquin’s celeb-PR spin doctor, Robyn, fascinates because her hyper-controlling nature at work is in sharp contrast to her out-of-control family life. Robyn’s bisexuality is a mere footnote.

It’s 2019. This is the queer-is-human moment Anna Paquin has been waiting for. This explains why, though she plays a lesbian character, she appreciates that her love interest [Holliday Grainger] in her upcoming film Tell It to the Bees, out May 3, eludes any kind of fixed sexual identity.

Openly bisexual herself, Paquin came out in 2010 in a public service announcement for Cyndi Lauper’s Give a Damn campaign, dedicated to LGBTQ equality. At the time, she was portraying southern heroine Sookie Stackhouse on HBO’s vampire queerfest True Blood; she married her co-star, Stephen Moyer, that same year. ]The couple has 6-year-old twins, Poppy and Charlie Moyer.]

But the 36-year-old actress’ precocious career in film and TV goes back decades to her childhood, when, at just 11 years old, she won the best-supporting actress Oscar for her portrayal of Flora McGrath in 1993’s The Piano. Cross-genre roles abounded: Fly Away Home (1996), She’s All That (1999), Almost Famous (2000) and three X-Men films. In 2017, Paquin starred as a detective investigating the disappearance and murder of a trans woman (Sadie O’Neil) on the shortlived drama series Bellevue.

Nearly 10 years later, Paquin still gives a damn — about inclusivity in her work, entertainment as a way to open close-minded minds, and actors who are forced out of the closet in the name of representation.

In ‘Flack,’ there’s a gay scandal, a trans scandal and a lesbian sex tape, and that’s all within the first three episodes. I mean, this show was made with the LGBTQ community in mind, right? I mean, not intentionally. It was just made more with, you know, the human race in mind. And that includes all of us (laughs). There’s humor and drama to be found in all of our communities, but, yes, there is definitely something to be had for our LGBTQ community in the world of Flack. Although a lot of people ask me if that was me, because obviously it’s important to me, but that was just always part of the fiber of the show in those episodes, and that was our writers. I wish I could take more credit for that, but I really can’t.

As an actress, are you drawn to stories that tell our stories? Yes, but I’m also just drawn to really amazing writing, and I think especially when there are stories that are our stories but are also written in a beautiful and eloquent way, that, to me, is a twofer. I mean, I love the fact that Robyn being bisexual just kind of casually drops in; it’s not a thing because it shouldn’t be a thing.

And I feel like so many movies and shows, if they have characters who are leading anything other than heteronormative lives, it’s made into a big deal.

It really shouldn’t be and isn’t. So I do love that part of the show.

It sounds like you don’t think we’re at a place where LGBTQ characters can simply live within the fabric of the world, and maybe that’s because LGBTQ people can’t just yet either. Are we? (Laughs) I mean, I think everyone has different experiences. I really think it depends what part of the country you’re in and what kind of community you grow up in. Look, I’m a non-American-born Canadian-Kiwi living in liberal California, so

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my experience of the world as a bisexual woman is probably incredibly different from someone who lives in — not to single anyone out in particular, but let’s say a less progressive state. So I feel like we still have a ways to go, but we’re obviously going in the right direction.

Where do you stand on the debate that exclusively LGBTQ actors should be playing LGBTQ roles? In casting all the characters in this show it would never have occurred to us to look at anyone other than trans actors for trans roles. I frankly did not ask the actress who plays Robyn’s ex-girlfriend because I also don’t really think it’s any of my business. What’s tricky around some of that stuff is that, while I think representation of people within our community is incredibly important, I think it’s also putting a lot of pressure on people to come out in a public way that they may or may not be ready to do yet. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to force people out of the closet, to be like, “Hey, you shouldn’t be playing this role because you’re not gay.” Well, what if that person is but isn’t comfortable coming out? Where does that leave us as far as representation, but also respecting people’s own timeline for their own lives and what they’re comfortable with? I think it’s incredibly complicated.

Was there pressure on you when you came out? If there was, I certainly didn’t experience any. Everyone in my private life knew. It wasn’t a big deal. But also, things aren’t a big deal if you don’t make a big deal of them.

I’d like to note that your show Bellevue represented the trans community in a very real way. I know you really bonded on the set with actress Sadie O’Neil, who played a trans character. What an awesome, smart, talented actress and writer and poet. She was incredibly patient with all of us who know less about her community asking quite specific questions as far as how we’re representing the community on the show.

Because the script, you can do a good approximation, but if that’s not the life that you have lived then, obviously, you’re not gonna get all of it right. And being patient with the fact that we had taken a good stab at it, but then wanting to actually get it right, was something we were really very grateful for, and we obviously very much deferred to her on a lot of it.

In what ways was the show and being with Sadie on set a teaching moment for you? It’s one thing to conceptually support all members of our rainbow community, it’s another thing to pretend that you know what somebody else’s life experience is like, and I don’t pretend to know things I don’t know. So, to me, getting more information is something that I just think you can’t have enough of. And the more you know, the more helpful you can be. It literally had never even occurred to me that feminism could exclude trans women. That, to me, just doesn’t make any sense, and that’s a huge deal and kind of blew my mind. You know, these kinds of conversations that end up casually happening because you’re working with them and getting to know them, it’s like, “Wow, I feel a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know that and I’m glad I know that now.”

Does it mean something to you that a role such as Robyn or your role as Dr. Jean in Tell It to the Bees is creating greater visibility for the LGBTQ community? Absolutely ... absolutely! Yes. I think that people learn about people they don’t understand through entertainment. That’s one of our most powerful tools for bringing people out of their own bubble and their own world, because if you see somebody depicted on screen you sort of are emotionally connected to that person and their story and their life, and maybe it can change people’s minds about how they sort of snap-judge other people and their sexual orientation or gender identity or whatever it may be. I think entertainment is a very powerful tool for that, so yeah, it’s very meaningful to me.

When were you first aware that entertainment had that kind of power? Honestly, not really until I was a grown up because when I was a teenager just, you know, doing my thing and going to school, I wasn’t massively conscious of it. Becoming a parent I think also makes you more aware of that, the cause and effect when your kid watches something and repeats something back that you’re like, “We don’t speak like that.” You get to see a very tiny microcosm of what its effect is, just even on little humans, because they don’t know. But it’s all around us. That’s not to say that all entertainment that I do (laughs) can be watched by all people of

all ages, because I do some stuff that is, obviously, very adult-oriented, but it has made me think about what kind of things I put out there into the world.

In ‘Tell It to the Bees’ you play your first explicitly queer character in film. In a film, yes. But my character in (2017’s sci-fi anthology TV series) Electric Dreams was also a lesbian.

Why did it take so long? It wasn’t really a conscious thing. A lot of times with choices it kind of depends on what material comes your way and when. I hadn’t happened to have a proper lesbian love story of any sort really come my way prior to that. I think I was probably somewhat obvious casting for that (laughs). But it’s a beautiful love story, it’s set in the 1950s in Scotland, my character is adopted, basically got outed as a teenager and left her community under quite traumatic circumstances.

(She) falls in love with another outsider, a young mother in the community who is — we don’t ever really put a label on her sexuality, but it’s probably more on the bisexual-to-straight-but-falls-in-lovewith-the-human. It’s about what they bring out in each other.

I’m surprised to hear that you haven’t been offered more queer film roles. I was on a TV show for, like, the entire time surrounding [coming out], so I wasn’t really available to do anything else (laughs). And also, True Blood reps hard on the Pride front.

How aware were you of what True Blood was doing for the LGBTQ community at the time it aired? Vampires coming out of the coffin: the metaphor was pretty specific! (Laughs) And also just the sexual fluidity of all the vampires. Obviously, we would have to have been living under a rock not to have felt the support and love from the community.

Do you hear from gay fans about Flack on Twitter? In general, yes. Whenever I’ve done work that has any representation of our community, yes, I always end up hearing really cool, nice feedback from people who are appreciative of conversations being easier to have because they’re happening in the public eye. Q As editor of Q Syndicate, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Twitter @chrisazzopardi

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

deep inside hollywood

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Diva alert: Judith Light! Bette Midler! Janet Mock!

Ryan Murphy has yet another new show in the works. It’s called The Politician, it’s coming to Netflix, and it stars that adorable (and now openly gay) Ben Platt as a high school student convinced he’s going to be president someday, but who must first navigate the choppy, ruthless waters of student government. And in a cast already packed with names like Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Lange and Zoey Deutch, new additions Judith Light and Bette Midler will be taking their own turns on set. Even better, Pose writer and director Janet Mock will be at the helm for at least one episode of the season.

With Glee gone for a minute already, and with Popular now a fond memory of the early 2000s, we’re ready for Murphy to head back to high school, especially with this kind of diva power.

Christmas is coming early this year and it’s going to be horrifying. AMC premieres the new series NOS4A2 on June 2, starring Ashleigh Cummings (this fall’s Oscar-bait, The Goldfinch, from which you’ll no doubt be hearing more) and, as the baddest Santa of all, Zachary Quinto.

Cummings plays a young woman who discovers she has a supernatural gift for finding lost things, which puts her at cross purposes with and battling against one Charlie Manx (Quinto). Manx is a creature who feeds off the souls of children before leaving them in Christmasland, a place where it’s literally Christmas every day and unhappiness is against the law. It’s all based on the best-selling 2013 novel by Joe Hill, and we’re pleased to know that it will serve as a vigorously dark rebuke to the Hallmark Channel’s insistence on showing bland, white bread Christmas-themed TV movies every other night of the year.

Viola Davis A-list status means she has a production company now. It’s called JuVee, and she and her production partner, Julius Tennon, have something in store for Amazon: a drama series based on the novel Wild Seed, the first of the Patternist series from legendary lesbian sci-fi author Octavia Butler. The story of two African immortals — one cruel, one healing — who travel from pre-Colonial West Africa into the far away future, it’s an epic of supernatural struggle that spans history and shapes life on Earth. No cast is set yet — though, obviously, we know we want Viola in there, please and thank you — but it will be co-written by Nnedi Okorafor and filmmaker Wanuri Kahiu, who will also direct. More on this one as it develops, because America is literally starving for lesbian-created sci-fi TV content and there will be no peace until that hunger is sated.

Available Now on Kindle or in Paperback at Amazon.com

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Chad Anderson grew up gay in a large Mormon family. After years of trying to conform to religious standards, which promised a cure for homosexuality, he married and had children before finally coming out of the closet. Gay Mormon Dad is his story of finally learning to love himself in a complicated world. Chad currently resides with his two sons in Salt Lake City, where he works as a social worker and a writer.

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Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Christmas Terror with NOS4A2 and Zachary Quinto

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A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

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Queen Latifah, Missy Elliott and Mary J. Blige spread the gospel Among the 150 films on Lifetime’s production slate — yes, you read that correctly, one hundred and fifty — one certainly stands out, and that’s because it’s from a power trio production team comprised of Queen Latifah, Missy Elliott and Mary J. Blige. We’re not here to tell you that there’s anything explicitly queer about this news because at least two thirds of that triangle remain, after all this time, for so very long, quite quiet about their sexuality, which is their right and we absolutely respect their privacy, but still, when Latifah and Missy do anything our ears prick up, you know? Anyway, it’s a film about The Clark Sisters, one of the 20th century’s most important and enduring gospel music quartets. They are, in fact, the bestselling gospel group on the planet.

So far the only casting news is Aunjanue Ellis (If Beale Street Could Talk), but come on, if Mary J. doesn’t get in on this and sing it until it breaks then what’s going on in Hollywood? Excited about this one. Q Romeo San Vicente would vote for Judith Light for president.

q scopes APRIL

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

Friends from the past will appear in a quick and surprising manner. Welcome or not, there are memories attached to these people. Buried emotions will rise to the surface. Evaluate your feelings carefully and tread lightly. The past is remembered differently from others.

Misunderstandings could result in conflict.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Priorities of equal importance flood your agenda.

Discouragement ensues without a clear first step, and progress is stalled.

Career woes should be handled lightly, while relationship and family matters demand a direct approach. Patience is good, but don’t delay. Draining the pressures of life will provide immediate relief.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

The future seems unclear and a path undefined. This would be fine if you knew the general direction things were going. A normal sense of

adventure is notably missing, but do not fret. Life continues moving forward and will eventually show its cards.

Now is not a good time to gamble, so some caution would be wise.

CANCER June 21–July 22

You’ve kept a big secret for a while. However, everyone already knows what the secret is! Don’t fear to let friends know what defines you, as it will make the world much easier to deal with. Being out of your comfort zone could take time to adjust to, but being exposed can be very liberating. Freedom is a gift to yourself.

LEO July 23–August 22

A helping hand comes from a family member. A humble nature will emerge as a result, and a new perspective will shape your outlook.

Spend time with those close to you, and don’t let a moment of anger overcome your sensibilities. Staying calm when things heat up is encouraged.

The last thing needed right now is deep regret.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

A big change is coming, so be prepared. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like everyone is too busy. But it’s a good time for reflection and personal expression.

Splurge a little, but don’t venture too

far from the familiar. A neat friend will make a surprise appearance. However, be aware of some romantic intentions.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

spawns from coziness, especially in matters of the heart.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Dreams can be frightening if the truth is mistaken for logic.

Don’t blow things out of proportion without measuring the extent of reality. Family members take advantage of insecurities, so avoid a tragedy before it starts. If things don’t feel right, make the necessary adjustments.

Small changes make the biggest of differences.

There is no such thing as a perfect life, but perfect moments are possible. Great moments will occur during this time, especially in business matters. An intriguing opportunity will be a powerful lure. Be cautious with individuals who seem too willing to give. Open arms could be a trap. Set restrictions and stand firm.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

Running away feels good from time to time. This will ring true during this time, Aquarius. Personal entanglements are bound to get sticky, but a little distance will help in overcoming the mess. Eliminate one problem at a time, and free time will flow your way. Relax with a clear head.

A good cry could also be cleansing.

A period of intense emotional strain will lead to an increase of desires. Give in to temptation with a sense of modesty, and satisfaction will be more abundant. An increase in finances will come available, but conservation would be wise. Save for something you really want while being aware of hard times ahead..

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

The path to freedom appears in the form of passion and good spirits.

It’s amazing how good someone makes you feel when things get a little tough.

Don’t grow dependent on others for happiness, but if an opportunity for it exists, take advantage of it. Strength

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

It could be hard learning skills needed to overcome a problem. Don’t fear asking for help from a buddy. Learn new ways to accomplish goals. A financial situation takes a toll. Spend wisely during this time. Luckily, your wish list is on the light side, so hold off on big purchases until later.Q

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

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Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

APRIL 4, 2019 |

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

Auto Eroticism Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

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40 ‘70s org. of kidnappers ACROSS 41 Like Trump’s ego 1 Start of a quote by 43 k. d. lang’s “Big Amanita on Sens8 Boned ___” 4 Kate McKinnon 44 More of the quote bits on SNL 47 Hub-to-rim lines 9 More of the quote 48 Author Crowley and others 12 “___ your pardon!”

49 End of the quote 14 Like sex with a 53 Moby Dick chaser historian?

15 Like the Indy 500? 56 Ballet rail 16 Zami: A New Spell- 57 Added stipulations 61 Time that drags ing of My ___ 62 Rampagers go on it 17 Former hotelier 63 Big top barker Helmsley 64 Cheese for Ms. van 18 Nabor’s branch, de Kamp? on TV 65 Goes public 19 More of the quote 66 Hair_’s “___ to Be 22 Went lickety-split Hard” 23 Consenting votes DOWN 24 International 1 Brief amount of agreement secs?

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13 Forget to use the KY? 15 Lyricist Bill of Side Show fame 20 Still getting around 21 Mouthful for a stallion 24 Blows away 25 Where to find Norma Bates 26 One of a nice pair of melons 28 Chewy candy 29 Wilde with a statuette?

30 “A Boy Named Sue” writer Silverstein 32 Whipping boy 33 Vet, of a sort, for short 34 Son of Eric the Red 37 Gay nocturnal flyer?

38 Enjoys the bedroom, perhaps 41 Gladly, old-style 42 Airline to Ben Gurion 45 Safe to swallow 46 Line of Todd Oldham clothing?

50 Part of APR 51 Pitcher Hershiser 52 Russian river 53 Vestment for Mychal Judge 54 Heston’s Ben ___ 55 Disney prince 58 Three R’s supporter 59 Article of Marlene Dietrich 60 Like a cunning linguist

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Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

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Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org  fb.me/ utahstonewalldems

Qsaltlake.com |

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah  1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org

Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm Mondays Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Ste 8

First Wednesdays at 7pm at the Utah Pride Center 1380 S Main St Info at bit.ly/UGHS_Lecture Read ‘This Day in Gay Utah History’ at benwilliamsblogger.blogspot.com

Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OUTreach Utah Ogden  outreachutah.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah Queer Friends  queerfriends.org qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com  fb.me /QVinum/ Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

Pride Community Softball League  fb.me/utahpride. softballleague  pcsl@prideleague.com Q Kickball League  fb.me/qsaltlake. kickball Sundays, 10:30, 11:30, Sunnyside Park QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports of Salt Lake City  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828

Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Wed. noon, 2319 Foothill Dr, #120 Weds. 6:30 pm, Univ Neuropsych Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #2705 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org Youth Support Gro ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org Kids Like Me (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  usu.edu/ accesscenter/lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271 Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

APRIL 4, 2019 |

Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

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MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | UTAH GAY WEDDINGS

LGBT PSA’s

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

APRIL 4, 2019 |

DINING | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

DINING GUIDE

Prides Around the Globe CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

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July 22–28: Happy Valley Pride, Hebden Bridge UK June 22-29: Anchorage Pridefest, Alaska June 23: Sao Paulo Pride, Brazil June 25-30: Helsinki Gay Pride, Finland June 27–30: Mexico City Gay Pride 2019, Mexico June 27–July 7: Madrid Orgullo, Madrid, Spain June 28–29: Heartland Pride, Omaha, Neb. June 28–30: Big Paris Pride 2019, June 29: Pride San Antonio, Texas June 29-30: Pride St. Louis, Mo. June 29-30: San Francisco Pride June 30: Alegria World Pride New York 2019, New York, July 1-14: Bristol Pride, UK July 5-7: Cologne Pride, Germany July 6: Pride in Londo, UK July 12-14: San Diego Pride, Calif.

July 20–21: Lesbisch Schwules Stadtfest Berlin, Germany July 26-August 4: Belfast Gay Pride, Belfast, UK July 27: CSD — Berlin, Germany July 27–Aug 1: Pride Amsterdam Aug. 2–4: Brighton and Hove Pride, UK Aug. 4: Leeds Pride — Leeds, UK Aug. 4: Vancouver Gay Pride, Canada Aug. 5-11: Prague Pride, Czech Rep Aug. 8-17: Reykjavík Pride, Iceland Aug. 8-18: Montreal Pride, Canada Aug. 10: Eugene Pride, Ore. Aug. 10: Pride in Surrey, Woking, UK

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

positive thoughts

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

Why we share our stories

BY JEFF BERRY

In early

September of last year I was attending the United States Conference on AIDS in Orlando and running late for a dinner I had been invited to that evening.

AIDS conferences are the endurance marathons for AIDS activists, from the moment you wake up until you hit your pillow late at night you are literally running from session to meeting to workshop to reception, just to get up and do it all over again. This goes on for a number of days, and you’re lucky if you get five to six hours of sleep each night. Invariably when you get home you are exhausted and spent — but in a good way.

As I was hurrying down a long, wide corridor filled with people scurrying to their own reception/dinner/meeting, one person headed toward me in the opposite direction caught my eye. She seemed to recognize me but I was pretty sure I didn’t know her, and I was late for my dinner, so I smiled back but decided to keep moving. But then as we neared each other we both stopped, and she began to

talk. And my eyes started to well up as she shared her story.

She introduced herself and said she wanted to thank me. When she was incarcerated (she explained then and in a subsequent conversation) they would send her to a local HIV clinic every three months, and that is where she discovered Positively Aware magazine. She told me it gave her hope — I think her exact words were, “It saved my life.” She told me that reading about my personal journey and my own struggles touched her deeply during a dark time in her life (she had learned she was HIV-positive and had lost a friend due to complications from AIDS), but by reading the magazine somehow she knew she was going to be OK. She knew nothing about which regimens to take, or what resources were there for her, but she learned how to formulate questions for her doctor and get the care that she needed.

I told her how glad I was to have made a difference in some small way, and how much it meant to me that she shared her

story with me. We exchanged cards and both went on our busy way, but I have never forgotten that moment — it will stay with me for the rest of my life.

So this is why those of us who work in HIV do what we do, and demonstrates the incredible power that knowledge and sharing our stories can hold. And no matter what field you work in, there is a common thread that weaves throughout all of our stories, that keeps us moving forward and reminds us of our own humanity.

It really does take a village, and it’s important to stop and take the time to listen to each other. No one is an island.

Individually we can make our own personal achievements, but collectively and working together we can change lives.

Take care of yourself, and each other. Q Jeff Berry is the editor in chief of Positively Aware magazine, and Director of Publications at Test Positive Aware Network in Chicago. Find him on Twitter @PAEditor.

This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, TheBody.com, Q Syndicate, nd QSaltLake Magazine.

Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

APRIL 4, 2019 |

BOOKS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

“Sissy: A Coming-ofGender Story”

BY JACOB TOBIA C.2019, PUTNAM, $26.00 / $35.00 CANADA, 336 PAGES

Nobody can tell you what to do.

To think otherwise is tantamount to telling you what not to do. No, you have your own mind, and you’ll make it up just fine by yourself. Nobody tells you what to do and, as in the new memoir “Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story” by Jacob Tobia, they can’t tell you who you are, either.

Many people who are non-binary, says Tobia, equate coming to terms with gender as “a journey.” Tobias considers theirs “more like an onion,” with layers of discovery “veiled beneath a thin skin.”

It started with Tobia’s parents, both role models: their mother, who was a tomboy at heart; and their father, who ignored stereotypical women’s work and instead, pitched in around the house. The next layer consists of Tobia’s brother and kids in the neighborhood who didn’t think twice about a child who play-fought in the mud one minute, and loved pink tutus and Barbies the next.

But then Tobia started school, and the teasing began.

They “went from being a person to being a sissy” and shame accompanied the label.

When it became apparent that the taunts would be flung at them no matter what, Tobia considered suicide. Church was the only place they “felt unequivocally and unconditionally loved.”

Things changed for the better when puberty hit Tobia and

their peers. Cis boys wanted desperately to be with cis girls, which was something Tobia did effortlessly and it made them “cool” even as it highlighted their differences from other adolescents. By the end of high school, Tobia had chosen the word “gay” to describe themselves, even though it wasn’t quite right.

They came out to a church counselor. They came out to their gay best friend. Years later, they came out to their parents as “gay.” It wasn’t until college, the acquisition of several pairs of high heels, lipstick, and a sheltered sense of security that Tobia realized that their work toward understanding had only started.

Maybe they were boy and girl and neither and both, and not having to question that would be a battle they’d “have to do… all over again.”

“Sissy” is a one-hundred-percent solid, smack-in-the-middle, okay kind of book. It’s not the best thing you’ll ever read; it’s far, far from the worst.

After a considerable, two-chapter throat-clearing, author Jacob Tobia promises hilarity then gets down to business, about their life, their experiences as a gender nonconforming person making their way through, and the gender-acceptance work to be done. Yes, that may seem like a familiar story but there is uniqueness to be had here: Tobia’s memories of their later adolescence and attendance at a prestigious Eastern college offer something different in this genre, in freshness of voice. Also uncommon: their willingness to admit regret for advice not taken.

Finally, yes, this book is amusing but outright hilarity?

Not so much: you’ll enjoy “Sissy,” but your gut is in no danger of busting. Still, if memoirs are your thing and your TBR pile is short, you know what to do. Q

MORE THAN

the bookworm sez

80

EVENTS THIS MONTH

Coming up DOWNTOWN 3.20–27 SLAM POETRY WORKSHOP @ SLCC Community Writing Center 3.22 HERS @ Soundwell 3.28 STRANGELOVE– THE DEPECHE MODE EXPERIENCE @ Metro Music Hall

3.28–4.7 …OF COLOR @ Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center 3.29–30 JUNCTION DANCE CO. presents REBIRTH @ Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center 3.30 OFF OF BROADWAY: A DRAG SHOW OF MUSICAL HITS FROM BROADWAY @ The SunTrapp

THEBLOCKSSLC.COM

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

5

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

the frivolist

ways laziness is costing you

BY MIKEY ROX

Laziness

is the byproduct of many catalysts — fear, depression, general unhappiness — and it can negatively affect all facets of your life. From costing you money to ruining relation-ships, here are five ways laziness can turn your world upside down if you let it.

I can celebrate a job well done that I’ve managed to make nearly $67 an hour for myself, money that will now be better spent on the actual trip for dinners, drinks, or an experience I’ll remember for a lifetime.

1.

My marriage didn’t work for many reasons — both faults of our own — but one of my big-gest gripes with my husband was his laziness. For most of our union, I was chef, maid, caregiver to our dog, planner of date nights and vacations, and the instigator of what little sex we had, especially in the later years, and that took a major toll on my self-worth and eventually my general outlook on life. After years of trying to change his behavior (a fu-tile effort in any relationship), I gave up. Not because I wanted to, but rather because I realized that his laziness was a result of not being in love with me. As complicated as our situation was, the root problem was as simple as that. If he could have admitted that about six or seven years earlier, we would’ve saved ourselves a hell of a lot of heart-ache… and money.

Financially

There’s a rather exhaustive list on Forbes.com on the ways laziness can bleed your bank account dry — from failing to negotiate better deals to putting off opening a retirement fund — but these expensive oversights begin on a micro-level, like buying memberships you don’t justify with enough use, for instance. And then there’s the bad habit of simply paying full price for things you buy because you don’t “feel like” looking for discounts or convince yourself you don’t have the time.

With regards to the latter, let me change your mind. Consider, as an example, planning a trip to the supermarket or, on a larger scale, vacation. If you dedicated time to researching savings and discounts, you will find money that you can keep.

Using coupons, cash-back deals, and shopping only sale items at the supermarket can rea-sonably save you upwards of $30 or more on a large order if you’re hitting the savings at all angles. You might think of that as an amount not worthy of your effort, but what if you think of the savings as reward for your time dedication. How much do you make an hour at your full-time? Do you get paid $30 per hour at work? Do you think you deserve to pay yourself $30 an hour at home?

Same principle applies to vacations. I spend several hours searching for savings on every getaway and vacation I take.

If at the end I’ve spent, say, three hours rounding up deals and I’ve saved $200,

2. In Love

3. Health-wise

Your sedentary lifestyle manifests itself in ways that directly impact your health, like weight gain, depression and early death. Any study ever done on exercise will tell you that staying active improves your physical, mental and emotional health in myriad ways. But even if you don’t get too fat to feel good about yourself anymore or kick the bucket in an untimely fashion, the money you will spend on medical services to put a patch on the damage you’re doing to yourself could take you into a debt with no escape or at the very least limit your quality of life because you’re consistently in the doctor’s office when you would have been better off in a gym.

4. Personally

We’re so involved with ourselves these days (when our faces aren’t buried in a device) that we’re all but convinced that we don’t have time for relationships.

The memes are right — like the one where we make plans but cancel at the last minute because we never intended to follow through anyway. Why though?

Don’t our “friends” deserve a couple hours of our time and attention? If not, are they even our friends? Why do we play that game with them then instead of being truthful about not wanting to be around them in the first place? This mentality bleeds right into romantic relationships, too, with the swip-ing right and left and serial dating and the ADD of settling down ruining prospects of happiness that we’re disallowing ourselves. And for what — casual sex and Netflix bing-es? We can do better than that.

5. Professionally

Laziness at work can get you fired, but it also prevents you from progressing. Your goal should be to show your company your capabilities and that you want to move up the ladder. And if you think you’re doing a killer job at that but not being recognized or compensated for it, schedule a talk with your boss to talk about more responsibilities and, yes, a raise. You may not get it immediately, but at least it’ll be on the table because you were motivated to address the situation.

If the answer is no, reflect on what you have to offer, if those skills are better suited somewhere else, and pursue something greater. You’re singly in control of that. It’s just a matter of how much effort you want to put into your own overall life satisfaction. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Instagram @mikeyrox

APRIL 4, 2019 |

Issue 297 | Qsaltlake.com

FRIVOLIST | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 297 | APRIL 4, 2019

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of the Stall of Great Peril

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

home to Logan is fraught with danger

and excitement.

Many people in the Salt Lake gay community believe that the northern frontier of civilization ends at Memory Grove and the southern boundary is located at Oxbow Park. For the rest of us we realize that there is a whole other world out there populated with fascinating and hunky studs, but a little or even a lot of driving may be necessary. So I put on a comfortable yet stylish frock and my opera length driving gloves and off I go.

After attending an event in Salt Lake, when I’m driving home to Logan late at night I need a big mug of Diet Coke to keep me caffeinated enough to make the trip without playing my “Sleeping Beauty” impersonation and running off the road. But should an accident occur, have any of you noticed how cute the EMT guys are? And those uniforms, Yum, Yum! My mother always said, “You should never leave the house without clean underwear in case you’re in an accident”.

That is unless you have propensity for certain, shall we say unconventional fetishes, then anything goes.

On my way home from the Salt Lake Men’s Choir rehearsal it was midnight, and after drinking 32 ounces of Diet

Coke when I got to the Brigham City Rest area I really did have to pee. Although if a cruising opportunity was to present itself to me, I of course would have obliged. After all I have not logged enough “Community Service” hours this spring and I have been feeling very “Service Oriented” lately. And thanks to Sen. Larry Craig from my home state of Idaho, (how proud am I?) the whole world now has expanded knowledge of proper Rest Room Etiquette.

Long Story short — While “holding court” on the throne, really as a Queen I must complain to UDOT that 3 feet by 5 feet is much too small for a proper throne room, and fishing for the toilet paper, actually I was feeling so inspired by reading the graf-filthy written so artistically on the stall wall, that I was carried away in transcendental (dirty) thought and I lost hold of my car keys. To my horror, they went plop straight into the dark and wet abyss that is more commonly refereed to as the toilet. My Queenly training and Miss Manners’ book on etiquette had not prepared me for such an event.

This was very serious as that is the one and only ignition key for my Buick Roadmaster that exists on the planet. I wrinkled up my nose and stuck my hand down in into the water. Unfortunately, whoever designed the thrones for rest areas made them too small to accommodate an adult male hand. God forbid some poor sucker leave a really large turd, it would result in a stoppage that would resemble the breaking of the Teton Dam. This really could have been a “LITERAL OH SHIT MOMENT” but luckily I just only had peed.

Sorry, those of you with a scat fetish will just have to be disappointed, although if you’re into water sports let the yellow bandanna fly!

7pm, April 12, May 17 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

In desperation I’m looking around for something to reach down into the toilet with to fish the keys out. Nothing in sight. I go outside and try to find something. I see some twigs in the bushes behind the building and I start toward them. Trust me I’m no stranger to bushes at rest areas. Just then a cute 20 something stud starts to enter the rest room.

I feared that he might flush the throne which contained my keys so I abandoned the twig idea for now and returned back into the rest room, following him in. Indeed the stud started to enter the “STALL OF GREAT PERIL”. I think I frightened him (now realize that I pretty much look like a big old troll) when I rushed in behind him and asked him not to use that stall. I wish I could have taken a photograph of his face. He looked like he thought that I was escaped from the mental ward. So I go back outside and finally get a twig and head back in. It took 5 minutes of trial and error and much muttering of swear words, to finally fish the keys out.

So this event leaves us with several questions: 1. How do you sanitize keys?

2. What kind of story is that stud going to be telling?

3. I washed my hands until they were raw, do you think that is enough?

4. Is this really the life of most trolls or just me?

5. Where’s the bridge I’m supposed to be under?

6. Was it the carpel tunnel that caused me to drop the keys or a subconscious need for adventure?

7. What is the long term effect of urine and toilet water on nail polish?

8. According to Larry Craig, how wide a stance is proper in the stall?

9. How fast should the toe tapping be?

These and other eternal questions to be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.

Happy Driving everyone. Q

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