QSaltLake Magazine - Issue 305 - October 17, 2019

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Read Luz’s vision for SLC at: luzformayor.com/vision.

Luz has been a champion for our LGBTQ+ community and will stand up for equality as our next mayor.

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2019-20 Season

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from the publisher

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

Painting a community with a broad brush

BY MICHAEL AARON

I often

come across posts and people asking why Utah’s LGBTQ community is _fill in the blank_. Why are they all assholes / drug addicts / anti-trans / anti-fem / racist / or whatever.

After digging just a smidge under the question, I find these people are really only focused on a very few people with whom they’ve interacted. Many are only talking of a few people in bars. Many only trading messages on sex apps or many only reading social media posts.

I also get asked why it is so hard to find boyfriends/girlfriends/dates of any ilk.

After just a few questions, I realize that these people are keeping a tiny pool of possible partners. They never go out of their house. They only go to a single bar. They only see a small group of friends.

This community has so many possibilities to meet others with whom a person may have something in common. If you’ll go to page 40 of this publication alone, you will find groups for a myriad of sports

Our second clinic in South Jordan is now open. We are excited to continue providing the same high quality care we are known for in this new area

activities, wine enthusiasts, naturists, outdoor lovers, hikers, campers, dancers, gardeners, kink enthusiasts, political junkies, seniors, young people, religious people, writers, business owners, bears, furries, and hell, if I didn’t mention ANYTHING you like in ALL of those categories, the Utah Pride Center, which has a zillion groups for a triple zillion people.

Your choice to be single and alone is yours. Please don’t blame it on an unwelcoming community, because that is not where you live. Expand your horizons, buck it up and get out there to meet people.

Will you find someone on your first venture? Not likely. But you might on your second or twelfth or 100th.

Utah is full of people who want to make the lives of others a better place. You have a choice of whether you wish to participate.

Or, you can complain on social media how the people in this area are why you can’t find friends/partners/lovers. But I, personally, will call you on it. Q

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QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

ISSUE 305

news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

Biting the hand that feeds you The closest thing to church for many gay men is the devotion to the gym. Recently, an investor in Equinox Spinning was found to have given money to the current president’s campaign, which brought out the outrage mob and prompted scores of gym members to signal on social media they were going to

cancel their memberships.

The CEO of Planet Fitness is also in the outrage crosshairs because they funded ostensive anti-gay politicians for the past several years. In 2016, he donated $1,200 to the winner of the 2016 presidential campaign. In 2018 he gave to the congressional campaign of former New Hampshire State Senator Andy Sanborn.

Sanborn opposed a bill banning gay conversion therapy and voted against updating the state’s existing civil rights laws to prohibit discrimination related to gender identity in housing and employment.

Nibbling the hand that feeds you Trump wasn’t the first president to mention LGBTQ at the annual October opening session of the United Nations.

That was President Obama

in 2011. As secretary of state, Hillary Clinton made a famous speech to the UN in Geneva saying, “Gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights.” However, the current president went a step further with some specific proposals. He discussed the administration’s previously announced global initiative to decriminalize homosexuality in the 70+ countries where it remains illegal. His speech Twitter-pated some of the LGBT advocacy groups.

The LGBT Victory Fund and HRC, when asked for a stand on impeaching the president, said the issue was outside their purview or skated. Other groups like the National LBGT Chamber of Commerce and National Center for Lesbian Rights showed support for the US Congress inquiry but “stopped short,” according to the Washington Blade,

of calling for removal of the President.

Money stops talking for WEHO activist A longtime Democratic donor and WEHO gay activist, Ed Buck, was arrested after two men overdosed in his home in 2017, and a third man nearly died this summer.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney says Buck, as part of a sexual fetish, was drugging men to near death.

The 2017 deaths in Buck’s West Hollywood apartment created a stir after the district attorney didn’t act, though his fetish was well known to WEHOzians. Charges of favoritism were leveled at the DA, WEHO and LA Mayors, LA County Sheriff, and LAPD chief because Buck was a donor to their campaigns and charities.

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Arizona court says yes to discrimination A stationery shop in Phoenix does not have to create custom invitations for same-sex couples’ weddings, the Arizona Supreme Court ruled. Oddly, no one had asked the Brush & Nib Studio to create any invitations for same-sex anything.

Phoenix city had amended its nondiscrimination ordinance to include orientation or identity some time ago. Apparently, the shop wanted to make a “Non-Virtue Signal” and get a pre-emptive exemption for religious reasons. Lower courts declined the request for an exemption, but the high court granted it in a 4-3 ruling.

Vatican reviews teacher firing A Jesuit high school in Indiana was suspended by the Roman Catholic Diocese for refusing to fire a married gay teacher.

The suspension has been suspended by the Vatican, and the school can resume holding all-school traditional masses.

The suspension, routine in appeal cases, is conditional while a Vatican body considers a request to allow the school to regain its status within the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.

The teacher and his husband are both Catholic school teachers, and the church considers teachers “ministers,” who are required to uphold church teachings, which prohibit same-sex marriages.

Asylum for Cuban Journalist The U.S. granted asylum to gay Cuban journalist Yariel Valdés González, who fled the workers’ paradise where all people can read, healthcare is free and all children are above average when the regime began a crackdown on independent journalists and a

news website where he was a contributor. He was detained at the Mexican border for five months. The Obama administration ended the decades-old, “Wet Feet, Dry Feet” policy allowing Cubans relatively easy asylum in the U.S. after the president attended a baseball game in Havana with Raul Castro, then Cuba’s maximum leader. Following the protracted asylum process, an immigration judge granted González legal asylum. “I am very happy and extremely grateful to this country for giving me the opportunity to live in total freedom, far away from the persecution of which I was a victim.”

Almodovar on screen Straight-washing of gay director Pedro Almodovar seems okay when the brush is Antonio Banderas. Banderas appeared in many Almodovar films and besides Almodovar directed the film, “Pain & Glory,” which tells the story of a middle-aged director reconciling his earlier outrageous films with his latter-day comfort and a creative drought. Critics say the film features an excellent performance from another regular Penelope Cruz. Straight or not, Banderas gets more attractive with age.

The Buttigieg effect Another first occurred in the 2020 Presidential campaign: The Advocate, GLAAD, One Iowa, and The Gazette sponsored a presidential candidates’ forum on LGBTQ issues. The forum was held at the Coe College’s Sinclair Auditorium, in Cedar Rapids.

Watch at tinyurl.com/y3rtlj2x In another first the forum was co-hosted by Pose star Angelica Ross, and featured conversations with former Vice President Joe Biden, U.S. Sen. Cory Booker, Mayor Pete

Buttigieg, former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro, U.S. Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard, U.S. Sen. Kamala Harris, U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar, former Pennsylvania Rep. Joe Sestak, U.S Sen. Elizabeth Warren, and author Marianne Williamson. The audience did not get to “feel the Bern” as candidate Sanders did not attend. CNN has another LGBT forum scheduled, and because of health problems, Bernie will miss that one too.

High schooler skates out of the closet A gay man on skates is not a big story unless the skates are of the hockey variety. A Franklyn Park, Illinois high school hockey player posted a coming-out message on social media. His reward for bravery? The school elected him homecoming king. The 17-year-old student-athlete, who played on his school’s team for four years, told Outsports it was “surreal” that all of his teammates and other high school kids, “defied the stereotypical ‘athlete’ attitudes towards LGBT people.”

He said a social media video from a gay wrester was his motivation for the announcement. “Seeing someone about the same age, from around the same place allowed me to see a future.” No word as to who was his homecoming date.

New Bond Girl, Rami Malek Rami Malek, who won an Oscar for playing Freddie Mercury, stars as the villain in the new James Bond film, No Time to Die and got a big smack from his co-star, the hunky 51-year-old Daniel Craig.

Malek told an interviewer, “We were rehearsing, and we finally cracked this really challenging scene,” when he says

Craig was elated and picked him and kissed him. He wasn’t sure who initiated the kiss, but it was a welcome thing.

Said Malek. “I took a moment, caught my breath, and I looked out and said, ‘So, does this make me a Bond Girl?’”

No scrip PrEP in California California Senate Bill 159, sponsored by state Sen. Scott Weiner and assembly member Todd Gloria, is now law.

It authorizes pharmacists to furnish a 30- to 60-day supply of drugs used for PrEP without a prescription. The bill prohibits insurance companies from requiring prior authorization for anti-HIV drugs or requiring a patient to use cheaper alternatives to the medications prescribed.

Ellen likes Bush, Twitter-mob outraged So, Ellen and Portia are invited to watch a Dallas Cowboys football game. What could go wrong? Well, according to the outrage mob, sitting next to and being friendly with former President George Bush and wife Laura was enough to read Ellen out of the human race. Many Twits blasted DeGeneres for socializing with a Republican politician. Others called her a “sellout,” pointing to Bush’s Iraq war, continuing the Bill Clinton-authored Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, opposition to marriage equality (at the time Hillary and Barack were agin’ it, too) and his more recent support for Brett Kavanaugh’s approval for a Supreme Court seat.

Ellen’s response, over Twitter, of course, “Here’s the thing.

I’m friends with George Bush.

In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different. And I think we’ve forgotten that that’s OK that we’re all different.” Q

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ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

LDS leader Oaks: gender set at birth

Kitchen and Sbeity announce their divorce Utah State Sen. Derek Kitchen and his husband Moudi Sbeity announced via Facebook that they are ending their marriage.

Sbeity came to Utah from Lebanon in 2006 and studied at Utah State University.

Kitchen grew up in South Jordan, Utah.

The two met Oct. 10, 2009.

They joined a discussion group in 2012 with Restore Our Humanity to discuss the possibility of suing the state of Utah for equality in laws dealing with marriage, including the Utah State constitutional amendment that defined marriage as only between “one man and one woman.”

The lawsuit was filed March 25, 2013, and was titled “Kitchen v. Herbert.”

Nineteen months later, to almost everyone’s surprise, a ruling came down from Judge Robert J. Shelby siding with them. Couples began marrying immediately until a stay was granted by the U.S. Supreme Court 21 days later. Kitchen v.

Herbert was won when the State of Utah was denied without comment the petitions for certiorari by the United States Supreme Court on October 6, 2014, four days before the couple’s fifth anniversary.

The two waited to marry until May 24, 2015, in a public ceremony at the Gallivan Center.

Together, the couple owns Laziz Foods, which sells hummus and spices online and at farmers markets, and Laziz Kitchen in the Harvey Milk Boulevard District which serves modern Lebanese cuisine.

The couple made the following statement on Facebook: “When we met ten years ago, we did not know what would be in store for

PHOTO VIA FACEBOOK

us, nor did we know how far our shared strengths and compatible differences would take us. We are incredibly proud of what we’ve been able to accomplish together – from our fight for marriage equality, growing two businesses, and running for public office. We’ve been proud to share this journey with you publically with full transparency, right from the beginning. We couldn’t have done it without your support.

“Within our fight for marriage equality, we fought for all the challenges and rights that come along with it. So, It is with much love and in the interest of living with full transparency still, that we are letting you know that we have decided to pursue individual paths and end our marriage.

“Had we known that this would be the outcome when we met, we would do it all over again. We remain good friends, business partners, and supporters for each other. We still care deeply for, and love each other, and hope that you can find comfort and love in the knowledge that we will continue to stand for and work for our community, whether it’s through politics, or a safe space for a warm meal.

“As we navigate this new reality, we hope that we can count on your respect and ongoing support. We are reminded of this quote from Francis Weller: “The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them.”

Grief for our loss and gratitude for our shared growth.

“Love is love, and love will be love again.” Q

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints first counselor in the First Presidency, Dallin H. Oaks offered remarks about the “eternal nature of God’s children, His plan for them and the commandments to love God and to love our neighbors” at the semi-annual conference in October.

“While God’s commandments forbid all unchaste behavior and reaffirm the importance of marriage between a man and a woman, the Church and its faithful members should reach out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same sex or whose sexual orientation or gender identity is inconsistent with their sex at birth,” Oaks said as he set out three “fundamental doctrinal truths that God has revealed.”

“First, … that God created ‘male and female,’” and that this “binary creation is essential to the plan of salvation.” “Second, modern revelation teaches that eternal life, the greatest gift of God to His children, is only possible through the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female joined in an eternal marriage. Finally, the long-standing doctrinal statements reaffirmed in [The Family: A Proclamation to the World] 23 years ago will not change.

They may be clarified as directed by inspiration.” For example, “the intended meaning of gender in the family proclamation and as used in Church statements and publications since that time is biological sex at birth.”

Sue Robbins, chair of Transgender Education Advocates of Utah expressed concern for the safety of trans people.

“Again, we have the church making statements that are deeply damaging to their members and to the general population in Utah. There is little regard in these statements for the health of their transgender and intersex members, families, and friends,” she said. “Faith is a powerful human emotion and erasing their transgender and intersex members is abusive and tragic. Elder Oaks’ words disregard the biology around being transgender or intersex, which is how our creator, whichever you might believe in, made us.

Revelations and other statements cannot change our make-up! I hurt for our LDS transgender and intersex church members.

Again, a knife is struck in their heart as they are summarily rejected by their leaders. The rest of the community is here for you. We see you, we hear you, we love you!” Q

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ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

SLC mayoral candidates on LGBTQ Issues:

BY MICHAEL AARON

One thing is certain: Salt Lake City will have its third female mayor take their oath of office in January. Both progressive candidates, Luz Escamilla and Erin Mendenhall have many similarities, yet different leadership styles. We ask them specific questions concerning the LGBTQ community: What do you believe to be your greatest contribution to date to Salt Lake City’s LGBTQ community?

LUZ ESCAMILLA: After the suicide of 14-year-old David Phan in Taylorsville, we were able to work on suicide prevention programs in secondary schools and aim them at LGBTQIA+ youth in HB393, where I was a senate sponsor.

On top of that, but directly related to David Phan, I was able to sponsor SB161, which reformed our Bullying and Hazing code to require schools to report, collect data, and train staff on bullying, cyber-bullying, hazing and retaliation, which included emotional distress and harm for the first time.

The system failed David Phan and I want to do everything I can to prevent it from happening again. More work needs to be done but I am proud to have been involved with both of these bills.

ERIN MENDENHALL: As a city council member, I have been a vocal supporter of the LGBTQIA community. I supported the renaming of 900 South to Harvey Milk Boulevard, I voted in favor of the Joint Resolution to Commemorate World AIDS Day, but most importantly, I protested the Days of ’47 Parade in 2014 due to anti-LGBTQIA actions of the organizers.

When the group Mormons Building Bridges was not allowed to participate in the Days of ’47 Parade, I refused to attend this event and released a public statement. I informed the organizers that “I will not participate in the 2014 Days of ’47 Parade. It saddens me that the organizers of this parade turn their back on a long tradition of Salt Lake City providing sanctuary and refuge.”

I have always been an ally to the

LGBTQIA community, and if elected Mayor I will seek out policies that create tangible progress for this all members of this community.

What initiatives are you considering that directly affect Salt Lake’s LGBTQ community?

LUZ ESCAMILLA: Expand STD testing throughout Salt Lake City specficially aimed at LGBTQ youth as well as mental health initiatives in our schools focused on LGBTQ youth and accessible in our community health systems.

ERIN MENDENHALL: Salt Lake will thrive if we embrace and encourage the unique contributions all residents make to our cultural and economic diversity.

We are stronger because we work together. We are healthier and safer because we respect, learn from, and take care of one another. I want greater representation of LGBTQ voices and ideas across all areas of governance and public life of our city.

As mayor, I will deepen a partnership with the Utah LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce to recognize and support the creativity and ingenuity of those leading our particular brand of progressive and equitable economic growth. I’ll fully support and integrate the work of our Human Rights Commission and fill vacancies in a way that ensures that the membership of the Commission reflects the diversity of the city and adequately represents our most vulnerable residents. I’ll ensure that city government is as inclusive as possible by working to expand LGBTQIA protections to public accommodations, providing transgender inclusive healthcare benefits for city employees, and I’ll work to include gender-neutral bathrooms in all city-owned facilities.

I will also work to put anti-bullying policies in place to prohibit bullying on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity or expression. I will ensure that these policies are enumerated at the school district levels as well.

Would you consider an executive order to include certified LGBTQ-owned businesses in your diversity buys, similar to those done for women-owned and minority-owned businesses?

LUZ ESCAMILLA: Yes, LGBTQ should be a protected class and deserves to get support as business owners.

ERIN MENDENHALL: I believe that it is important to prioritize supporting local business as often as possible. I will commit to exploring the process of supporting locally owned and minority run business when purchasing for Salt Lake City.

Would you work for a resolution to encourage the state of Utah to ban the practice of conversion therapy?

LUZ ESCAMILLA: Of course, I was supportive of the legislation this session.

ERIN MENDENHALL: Absolutely. I strongly support ending conversion therapy practices in our state, and I will pass a city resolution showing support for banning conversion therapy.

Would you work within the city to address the wage gap in the LGBTQ community, especially with transgender individuals?

LUZ ESCAMILLA: Yes ERIN MENDENHALL: The mayor doesn’t have control over wages paid in the private sector, but she does have the ability to recruit companies to come to Salt Lake City that share our values. We need to grow our city in a way that values diversity and inclusion and improves the lives of all our residents. So we need to focus on bringing tech businesses into our city that want to be part of the city’s progress. I will work to grow our tech sector bringing in high-quality jobs that value employees and create inclusive working communities. Q

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ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

Utah Royals star comes out with a kiss

BY TONY HOBDAY

As a gay man whose big love for professional sports (okay, only football and tennis, both of which star out-and-proud athletes, which warms my cockles by the way) I was unnecessarily naive by the number of out female pro soccer players. For instance, Megan Rapinoe, Ali Krieger, Lorena Benítez, Sam Kerr, Tierna Davidson, Adrianna Franch, Ashlyn Harris, and at minimum 35 more out players.

But here, I want to share a recent coming-out story that warms my cockles and gives me a long overdue pride for LGBTQ female athletes in the cutthroat world of soccer/ futbol.

On July 7, 2019, the U.S. women’s soccer team, of which Utah Royals FC defender Kelley O’Hara is a team member, won the World Cup their second consecutive World Cup — their fourth overall — making them the team with the most FIFA Women’s World Cup wins in history.

Shortly after the winning moment, the team danced on the pitch and the American flag dropped to the ground, and player Allie Long accidentally stepped on it. U.S.

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Transgender Day of Remembrance is an annual observance on November 20 that honors the memory of the transgender people whose lives were lost in acts of anti-transgender violence.

“Transgender Day of Remembrance seeks to highlight the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence. I am no stranger to the need to fight for our rights, and the right to

teammate O’Hara, however, was quick to pick it up, which apparently turned Republican fans (aka Trump supporters) to ‘claim’ her.

But unbeknownst to the Republican fans and many others, after saving the “trampled” flag, O’Hara ran to the stands after the game and kissed her girlfriend as cameras recorded. “[A lot] of people are queer in public now, and everyone knows there are queer players on the United States women’s national soccer team,” Kim McCauley wrote for SB Nation.

“But what made this moment significant is that O’Hara had not previously made any kind of announcement about her partner or sexual orientation.

She didn’t follow this moment up with an interview, a social media post, or a proclamation of any kind. She just had an affectionate moment with her partner, then continued her life as normal, because what she did is normal and should not require an explanation.”

O’Hara’s no-big-deal kiss didn’t require a need to make a written statement. Instead, she received incredible praise from the queer community and the U.S. Women’s National Team fans. Q

simply exist is first and foremost.

With so many seeking to erase transgender people — sometimes in the most brutal ways possible — it is vitally important that those we lose are remembered, and that we continue to fight for justice,” wrote TDoR founder Gwendolyn Ann Smith.

This year, Utah’s TDoR will be held Wednesday, November 20 from 5:30 to 8 p.m. at the Utah State Capitol. It is presented by the Transgender Education Advocates of Utah and the Utah Pride Center.

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Annual Utah gender conference seeking presenters for 11th run The Utah Pride Center will once again present its annual genderevolution 2019: TRANSCEND in November.

Utah’s only gender conference, genderevolution celebrates the trans, non-binary and gender creative community for the 11th consecutive year. Intersex activist, visual artist, and public researcher Saifa Sean Wall, and queer intersex artist, writer, and intersex advocate Hans Lindahl will be coming to Salt Lake City to be the keynote speakers.

“The 2019 theme, TRANSCEND, signifies transcending our own unconscious bias, stepping out of our comfort zone, bypassing preconceived gender identity binaries and representing the ostracized identities within our own marginalized community,” said Nick Arteaga, genderevolution Planning Committee chair.

In addition to keynote speakers, genderevolution features lectures, workshops, caucuses and panels offered by community members and renowned professionals from across the country who focus on body positivity, health,

youth/elders and family, QTPOC, PolyQ, self-love and more.

Employees, healthcare mental wellness providers, educators, students, families, allies, and community members are all welcome.

“We honor the courage and compassion it takes to nurture ourselves and each other. We gather to thank all whose love and support keeps our trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming community healthy and prosperous,” Arteaga said.

The conference has space for over 30 vendors to table at the event. For those who cannot attend but want to support the conference’s efforts, you may help others attend through a scholarship donation.

Qmmunity

Big Gay Fun Bus announces 2019–20 season starting Oct. 19 It’s BIG, it’s GAY and it’s FUN … on a BUS to West Wendover, Nevada! And this year — new buses!

If you’ve never been before, what are you waiting for? Drag queen bingo, prizes, songs, $7 in free play at the casino, a free buffet … and a bus full of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, allies and bewildered others.

This year there are five runs, so hop aboard. Get tickets fast, because they sell out quickly!

Season ticket buyers get all five trips for the price of four, PLUS, they get priority seating and a free second bingo card for each trip.

WHEN: First bus Oct. 19, noon WHERE: Leaving from Club Try-Angles, 251 W 900 South COST: $25 at biggayfunbus.com or season tickets: $100 for all 5 trips. Ticket fees apply.

INFO: biggayfunbus.com

SEAN SAIFA WALL is an intersex activist, visual artist, and public health researcher. Born and raised in the Bronx, he attended Williams College and after a short stint in New York City, moved to the San Francisco Bay Area where he lived for nine years. He now lives in Atlanta, Georgia with his dog, Justice. He is the former board president of InterACT, a legal advocacy organization protecting the human rights of intersex young adults and is a co-founder of the Intersex Justice Project, a project whose mission is to #endintersexsurgery.

Saifa’s story has been featured in Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation, Trans Bodies, Trans Selves, Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics journal, the Washington Blade,

The Guardian, and The Remedy: Queer and Trans Voices on Health and Healthcare. He is a TEDx speaker and has been a guest on Huffington Post Live, ABC News Nightline and Afropunk: Solutions Sessions. Recently, IJP was highlighted in the Google/Stink Films documentary, Stonewall Forever.

You can learn more about him as well as the documentary he is making about his father called Letters to an Unborn Son at unbornson.com.

HANS LINDAHL (they/she) is a white, queer intersex advocate, artist, writer, and YouTuber. Growing up in the intersex community as a teen, she started out in advocacy by joining interACT Youth, an international collective of intersex activists under 30. Since then they have spoken to doctors, families, sex educators, and state legislatures about intersex issues.

Features include them, OUT, Cosmopolitan, and The Washington Post. Hans aims to bring humor, light, and connection to intersex representation, while uplifting multiple marginalized voices within the community.

You can see her work via Twitter and YouTube @hiHelloHans. Before intersex activism, Hans worked for years in web accessibility, building a platform making textbooks accessible to blind students.

After later experiences in organizing, nonprofit leadership, and event planning and facilitation, Hans decided their skills could best be used in service to the intersex movement. Q 2019: TRANSCEND is Saturday, November 9, 2019, 8:00am – 6:30 pm at the Horizonte Instruction and Training Center 1234 Main St., Salt Lake City, UT. More information at utahpridecenter.org/events/genderevolution/

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ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

quotes “It takes some intelligence and insight to figure out you’re gay and then a tremendous amount of balls to live it and live it proudly.”

—Jason Bateman

“Either you are homophobic, or you are human —you cannot be both.”

—Abhijit Naskar, Neuroscientist and Author

“All young people, regardless of orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.”

—Harvey Milk

“Personally, coming out was one of the most important things I’ve ever done, lifting from my shoulders the millstone of lies that I hadn’t even realized I was carrying.”

—Sir Ian McKellan

“…But in my heart, I’m so sad I lost my sister Alexis (died of cardiac arrest related to HIV) and that trans people are still being persecuted.”

—Patricia Arquette, 2019 Emmy award speech

“Never be bullied into silence.

Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”

—Harvey Fierstein

“Having to hide something like that just ruined me. It really, really killed me. I really honestly think that anybody who is openly gay and visible is powerful. It doesn’t matter what you do, you are impacting people.”

—Portia De Rossi

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ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

guest editorial

How I contracted HIV is none of your damn business

BY TORAJE HEYWARD

How I

contracted HIV is none of your damn business. I’m going to tell you what happened, but not because I owe you an explanation. Here goes.

My friend with benefits at the time casually suggested that he should get tested because he knew that he “messed around with several different people.” As he made this suggestion, it forced me to think on the last time that I was tested for HIV, which was a shaky “a year and some months ago.”

The fact that I could not pinpoint the exact date of my last negative test result really bothered me, and the butterflies in my stomach began to swirl around like a storm.

If thunder strikes, I thought, the lightning should be obvious to see. After all, I knew that with this particular partner, we always used a condom, and I couldn’t recall a “slipup” of raw sex with any other partner within the last year within my memory. My body count (the number of partners a person has had sex with) was “average” in my opinion, based on a review of my peers’ social media posts that included both personal anecdotes and barebacking escapades with people they met online.

The friend with benefits, however, unintentionally saved my life.

“Your diagnosis is HIV positive” were the only words that resonated within me – everything else was a blur. I felt overwhelming relief and pain — I knew that something did not feel right with my body, but apprehension about knowing my health status with certainty manifested into feelings of silent despair. I had to be honest with myself. I knew that I was not proactively visiting health care providers to receive routine check-ups or following up with comprehensive services. I did not prioritize HIV and sexually transmitted infections (STI) testing every three months, because as long as I used a condom most of the time, I felt content. Even though I did not engage in any other behaviors like injecting drugs, there were some symptoms that I tried to overlook but could no longer.

My first defining moment was when I visited a female barber in Hampton, Georgia. While she was shaving the hair under my neck, she touched a swollen lymph node on my chin, and then my Adam’s apple.

And then she felt it again. It was extremely tender to the touch. I felt and saw her facial expression change, as if she knew something that I didn’t. “You need to go get that checked” were the words that followed as she continued to cut my hair. I thought back to when I was hospitalized for proctitis, and the excruciating pain that felt like a thousand knives stabbing me in the stomach from every direction. Could the swollen lymph nodes have been related somehow?

Some weeks after, I noticed that I also had swollen lymph nodes under my armpits, but that was dismissed as an adverse reaction to chemicals in the deodorant that I was using.

These all were thoughts that raced through my head – I wanted to replay the situation in which the scenario could have resulted in a negative status instead.

The next day, I accepted my fate and my status. I took a photo of my results and threw the testing kit in the trash. At that moment, I chose life over death.

So when I tell you how I contracted HIV is none of your damn business, I don’t come from a place of arrogance or conceit. The disclosure of one’s health status is a privilege for some, and depending on what state you live in, can be a legal matter that brings jail time if someone says you didn’t disclose.

Even if there are no official laws criminalizing HIV non-disclosure, people still face stigma and discrimination that can make it nearly impossible to talk about. Instead of focusing on the policing of marginalized bodies and values, efforts should be directed toward education, increasing access to health care for vulnerable communities, and eliminating problematic beliefs and stereotypes surrounding the HIV virus itself as well as the people living with it.

You shouldn’t feel compelled to ask someone living with HIV how they contracted

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the virus. If you are unaware of the various routes of transmission, a simple Google search can provide you with answers. If I have no intentions of being in a relationship with you, or if I do not have any inclinations to have sex with you, then why should my health status be any of your business?

Would you ever ask a cancer survivor, “Did you get cancer from smoking too many cigarettes?”

From my experience, many people honestly feel that HIV is something that only promiscuous people receive as a punishment for their actions. Many people feel that if they live a “righteous” lifestyle, then they will be excused from becoming a host to the virus. Many people feel as long as they’re not one of those people — gay, transgender, promiscuous, etc. — they will be safe. You see, HIV does not define my dignity or character.

HIV does not distinguish my humanity, nor can it verify the expression of my gender or sexuality. HIV is a virus that invades my immune cells in order to survive. But with the help of HIV treatment, I know that I can be a winner every day. I owe it to my loved ones, who are counting on me to thrive. I owe it to you, as you continue to live your story. You have a right to comprehensive care and education, but you are not entitled to the same access to my personal health.

If you are HIV positive, strive to find comprehensive care that suits your needs and identity, which includes antiretroviral therapy and mental health and any other related services needed to suppress your viral load and increase immune system health.

Advocate for those who don’t have the same health care access, regardless of your status.

If you are HIV negative, discuss options and talk to your health care provider about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), a daily pill taken to prevent and control the spread of HIV. If you are reading this and are still unaware of your HIV status, go get tested now.

Whatever you do after reading this, don’t ask the next person you meet who is living with HIV to tell you how they contracted it. Q Toraje Howard is a contributing writer for TheBody and a member of Engaging Communities Around HIV Organizing, a leadership development program established by the sexual health advocacy organization Advocates for Youth.

This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, QSaltLake, and Q Syndicate.

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ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

who’s your daddy

Kids make us fabulous

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

We had

these friends in California with a papered cocker spaniel. She was the center of their universe. Overall, she was a really good dog, albeit rather hyperactive with a tendency to pee whenever someone rang the doorbell. Oh yeah, and she once also threw up in our car.

Eventually, the guys decided to breed her, and they were really excited about the thought of little paws running around their house. When she finally gave birth to her first litter of puppies, we called to offer our best wishes. Eric’s mom answered the phone and told us that mother and babies were all doing well and that giving birth seemed to have mellowed out the dog. Then she added philosophically, “There’s nothing like becoming a mother to make a girl into a woman.” We were talking about a cocker spaniel, folks.

But it’s true. I mean not the part about giving birth making girls into women – that was just weird. It’s true that kids change who you are for better and for worse. In my opinion, for LGBTQ parents, kids make us even more fabulous than we already were. And I’m not alone

in this thought: I asked other gay parents to share why their kids make them fabulous, here’s what they had to say.

Megan, mom to Tori and Kennedy – “My kids make me fabulous because they remind me of how to be patient, kind, and above all else to love with my whole heart.”

Mateo Glen, dad of Evalina and Simon – “They inspire courage in me to live and love authentically. At just 10-years old, my daughter told me, ‘Daddy, I will love whoever you choose to love!’”

Kori, mom of Chase, Kennedy, Beau, and Brady – “Our kids make us fabulous by their kindness and love for each other, and by supporting our love.”

Peaches, dad of Nick and Linus – “The boys have made me a fabulously exhausted heavy drinker who never gets laid, LOL!” Kelly, dad to Gus and Niko – “Our sons make me laugh and introduce me to situations that I otherwise wouldn’t ever experience.”

Cristy, mom of Glory – “My daughter makes me fabulous because she is the light of my heart. She makes me laugh and her love fills me more than I could

have ever imagined. I share Glory with her other mother and my world is completely different when she is not with me. As soon as she comes home, I can feel a huge shift in my soul – feels just like home.”

Stefani, also the mom of Chase, Kennedy, Beau, and Brady – “Our kids make us fabulous by being ‘pains in our asses’ and by treating others the way we have raised them. We’re pretty proud of that!”

Adam, dad of Dillon, Ethan, and Cambria – “The kids make me fabulously frazzled trying to remember all their various activities and school projects. I am also fabulously ‘lit’ according to my oldest’s friends because I’m gay.”

Weston and Brandon, the dads of Xander and Zoe – “Our son and daughter make us see the world with a whole new perspective and challenge us to be more patient and understanding every day.”

Ruby and Michelle – “Our daughter makes us fabulously tired! (So much so that our ‘date nights’ are actually in the afternoon!)”

And then there’s me, Christopher, also dad to Gus and Niko – “Our sons challenge me every day to be patient, to be understanding, and to see the world in a different light. They make me fabulous just by calling me ‘dad’.”

Eric’s mom was right, being a parent does change you. Kids make parents fabulous. And maybe dogs do too. Q

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October 17, 2019 |

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

creep of the week

Pat Robertson

BY DANNE WITKOWSKI

I also

thought Pat Robertson had died.

Or, I should clarify: I think of him as dead, as in dead to me, because he is a hateful bigot and is one of the grossest examples of performative Christianity.

So whenever Robertson is in the news I always think, “Jesus Christ, this guy again?

Didn’t he die?”

Alas, he lives and hates.

Let’s see, who is he mad at today? Oh, will you look at that.

He’s mad at Donald Trump.

Whatever could have Trump done to anger Robertson? Well, Trump declared that we’re going to pull U.S. troops out of northern Syria, basically leaving the Kurds, who’ve been fighting against ISIS with us, to be obliterated

by Turkish troops.

In other words, we told the Kurds, “Hey, help us. We’ve got your back.” And now Trump has basically told them to F off and die.

“Ladies and gentlemen I want to say, right now, I am absolutely appalled that the United States is going to betray those Democratic forces in Northern Syria, that we possibly are going to allow the Turkish to come in against the Kurds,” Robertson said on The 700 Club.

You hear that? Robertson is APPALLED. That’s pretty strong language. “[He] is a thug. He has taken control of his country like a dictator,” Robertson continued. “He is in for himself.”

And while you might think

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that Robertson was talking about Trump, because Trump is definitely a thuggish dictator in for only himself, Robertson was actually talking about Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, who he says is no ally of the U.S. Oh, but now he definitely IS talking about Trump: “And the president who allowed Khashoggi to be cut in pieces without any repercussions whatsoever is now allowing the Christians and the Kurds to be massacred by the Turks.”

ICYMI: Jamal Khashoggi was an activist and Washington Post writer who was murdered by agents of the Saudi Arabian government. They legit cut his body into pieces with a bone saw and Trump’s response to this horror was to basically shrug. Because he is terrible at his job and at being a human.

So yeah, Robertson’s mad.

But just look HOW mad: “I believe, and I want to say this with great solemnity,” he said.

“The President of the United States is in danger of losing the mandate of Heaven if he permits this to happen.”

OK, OK, OK. Now, I’m no foreign policy expert (and, not incidentally, neither is Trump), but LOSING THE MANDATE OF HEAVEN? Uh, this means that up until this point Robertson believed that Trump HAD the mandate from Heaven. That Trump was Heaven-sent. A gift from God, if you will. But I won’t.

Not for a second.

Watching right-wing

evangelicals hold up Trump as God’s gift to America has been one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever witnessed and is peak performative Christianity. It’s all a goddamn show. It’s been clear to me for years that these so-called Christians value their religion so long as it gives them the power to hurt the people they don’t approve of, like LGBTQ people and women seeking abortions, for example. And man, if the Trump presidency isn’t exposing these folks for the heartless, power-hungry cretins they are.

Robertson isn’t the only person mad at Trump over Syria. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC). You know, the guy who tweeted on May 3, 2016, “If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed…….and we will deserve it.”

He’s not happy with Trump, but Graham’s Twitter feed mostly reads as “Trump is my friend and he likes me” fan fiction, so who cares what Graham thinks.

Especially when you consider how Trump clearly sees

H

himself as a God, a delusion that his sycophant supporters no doubt fuel. In response to criticism Trump tweeted, “As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey.”

In MY GREAT AND UNMATCHED WISDOM? What in the holy hell? I thought Christians were supposed to, like, turn to God or hit up Jesus for wisdom, or at least pretend they don’t think they themselves are the end all and be all of knowledge?

Then again, if you have Christian luminaries like Robertson declaring that you have the “mandate of Heaven” all while facing absolutely no consequences for anything you do, well, who could really blame you? Except for literally the majority of the world. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. She’s on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

lambda lore

Reviving preservation

BY BEN WILLIAMS

Editor’s note: This is a refreshed 2015 column.

When

Michael Aaron asked me to write a history column in 2004, for what was then the Salt Lake Metro, I readily accepted. I had been writing history columns for various publications in our community since 1987 when Satu Servigna, editor and publisher of the Triangle Community Digest, first asked me to write for her.

I had to come up with a name for my column for the Salt Lake Metro, one that would describe what my column would be about, and so I named it “Lambda Lore.” Fifteen years ago, most community members understood the association that the Greek letter lambda had with homosexual human rights. Today I am not so sure. Organizations such as Lambda Legal and Lambda Rising Bookstore, which closed in 2010 after 41 years of encouraging the writing and publishing of LGBT books, were named for the Greek symbol.

And although the bookstore is gone, the Lambda Literary Awards, known as the Lammys, are still given out annually. The Lammys are to honor the best gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender affirming books for the year.

So why did I choose lambda, and what is its significance to our history? Well, in 1970, the Gay Activist Alliance of New York wanted a symbol that would stand for “freedom from oppression.” GAA member Tom Doerr suggested the lower case lambda λ as that symbol because he said in physics the symbol represented kinetic energy and gay people were seeking change. Other sources stated that the lower case lambda Greek letter was chosen because it was used as a shield pattern by the homosexual Spartan Army.

The symbol also stood for unity.

In December 1974, the Greek letter was so recognized that it was officially declared the international symbol for gay and lesbian rights by the International Gay Rights Congress. Thus for over 40

years, the lambda has signified “unity under oppression” which is why Lambda Legal had chosen its name from this symbol and also why I chose the symbol for my column.

I added the word “lore” to the title, not merely because of its lyrical alliteration qualities but more for what lore means. In most dictionaries, the word has the meaning of a “body of knowledge, especially of a traditional, anecdotal, or popular nature, on a particular subject.”

Of course, what I choose to write about is mainly Utah’s unique homosexual culture.

While I have a degree in history, I am genuinely an amateur historian. I have never written volumes on the subject, or done post-graduate work. But I have observed and compiled my observations of the exponential growth of equality rights for sexual minorities in Utah. I was not a passive observer. However, as for about a decade from 1986 to 1997, I was actively involved with those who were changing the landscape in Utah for the legal protection and acceptance of sexual diversity.

When the Utah Stonewall Center opened its doors on June 1991, two of its main features were its library and its historical archives. At the time, the Salt Lake Public Library had less than 20 books on its shelves that dealt with homosexuality, and some of them were from ex-gay sources. The Utah Stonewall Center had the most extensive collection of gay and lesbian books between Chicago and California.

I remember going to New York City’s Gay Community Center and was shocked to find that they only had six bookcases of gay and lesbian resources that were locked up for the night. Here in Salt Lake City, we had a room filled with over 20 shelves of books ranging from novels to self-help tomes to history books. We had over 1,500 titles all donated from our community, with many of them first

editions. The library was so popular that we had to train several volunteers to act as the staff who did nothing but tend to the library.

This library was the vision of Robert Smith and Liza Smart, working with a committee of volunteers, I being one.

Bobbie suggested that the library also house the archives, the bulk of which I was hauling around to my various apartments. The archives grew over the years so that when the then board of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center chose not to house them, I with the help of Jay Bell donated the bulk of the collection to the Marriott Library at the University of Utah in 2002. It took them nearly ten years to categorize it all since it was over 30 linear feet of material saved from items before 1997. Sadly much more was lost by short-sighted disinterest in our history.

That brings me to the point of: where are our historians? I can name on one hand people from this community who have actively written about or tried to preserve the records of these people, and they have all been gay men. Where are the lesbians in Utah who are needed to protect “herstory?” What about the Trans community? Who is documenting the rise of their community through Engender Species and TEA and all the rest? Is the bisexual community stepping up? It worries me.

Jay Bell, who I mentioned before, researched, documented, and wrote about gay people’s interactions with the Mormon Church as it pertained to Affirmation. This support group for gay and lesbian Mormons was founded in Salt Lake City in 1977 and had a rich history of surviving the LDS Church’s 40-year war with homosexuals.

Bell tragically was killed in a car-pedestrian accident in 2003, but more tragically, the official Affirmation Web page has removed all of Bell’s works, as well

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as other people’s stories and memorials to LDS gay folks who died of suicide and AIDS. Jay Bell The folks running the site now have sanitized it to the struggle with the Mormon Church.

Douglas Winkler, a gay man who I knew many years ago when he was rooming with Robert Smith, wrote a tremendous resource called “Lavender Sons of Zion: A history of gay men in Salt Lake City, 1950—1979” as a doctorate dissertation. His research was published in 2008 as a 538page book, but unfortunately, it is not readily available. In his work, Winkler was kind enough to acknowledge Bell’s “extensive research on LDS Church policy, “ and that I deserved “appreciation for sharing several years’ research,” and “unstinting efforts to raise historical awareness among Utah’s GLBTQ community.”

Seth Anderson is another historian who is working to preserve history for the current generation. Having just completed graduate work this year at the University of Utah, Seth received a master’s degree in social history with a focus on the history of sexuality in the western United States.

Connell O’Donovan and I share a passion for history, so much so that on Halloween night 1988, we started the

Gay and Lesbian Historical Society of Utah.

He is a meticulous researcher and has published a series of outstanding articles on Utah and Mormon LGBTQ histories. An essential read is his “The Abominable and Detestable Crime Against Nature: A Brief History of Homosexuality and Mormonism, 1840- 1980,” which is available online.

While not an active part of the LGBTQ community but, by all means, a historian of renown is D. Michael Quinn.

A former BYU professor and now openly gay, Quinn wrote “Same-Sex Dynamics Among Nineteenth-Century Americans: A Mormon Example.”

Although Quinn’s main emphasis is early Mormon history, “Same-Sex Dynamics” is also a must-read for anyone who calls Utah home.

Earlier in October, I had the honor of receiving from Utah’s Division of History a recognition of my nearly 30 years of dedication toward the preservation of, and writing about, the history of my people. However, for me, the true significance of this award is that Utah, after all these years, has finally recognized that we are a people with a history within this state and that it is worth preserving and celebrating. Q

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FABBY AWARDS

2019 FABBY AWARDS

Our community’s Readers’ Choice awards for the best people, places and things in Utah.

Ballotting was open throughout September.

Many long-time winners, some surprises, but all fabulous. And here are the results:

RESTAURANTS Most Fabulous Inexpensive Restaurant

Straw Market

The corner of Fourth Ave and E Street in Salt Lake City’s Avenues district has had a tremendous and varied vibe to it for the past few decades. Hatch Family Chocolates got their big start there in 2003 and ended up on a TLC show. Dolcetti Gelato

grew so fast and big in the spot, they had to move to a larger place on 9th & 9th. Straw Market, though, is a keeper for the neighborhood — a convenience store with a great, and cheap, deli, and friendly staff. The uberLGBT Avenues neighborhood loves them.

Most Fabulous After-Hours

Dee’s Family Restaurant The LGBT community has been showing up in the wee hours

Qsaltlake.com |

after the bars at Dee’s Family Restaurant for over 40 years. Good food, a relaxed atmosphere, friendly servers, and a now-retro vibe make it a fun space to go and be yourself.

Most Fabulous for Breakfast

Pig & A Jelly Jar

Amy Wanderley-Britt’s Pig & A Jelly Jar has exploded in the past several years, now with three locations — Harvey Milk Boulevard, Ogden’s Historic 25th Street, and Holladay. Pig serves “a fresh, from scratch menu with a unique twist on southern comfort food.” Open seven days a week for breakfast, brunch and lunch, and Thursdays through Sundays for dinner. Try the beer cocktails for brunch — a lagered mary, beer sunrise, or a beer-tini.

Too strange for you? They have wine and champagne as well.

Most Fabulous Contemporary Restaurant

Current Fish & Oyster This East Broadway hot spot is where all the hippest oysters from both coasts and around the world want to be. Enjoy the stunning contemporary styling and decor, but don’t let it distract you from the equally stunning interpretations of classic American seafood dishes (or land food dishes, if that’s more your thing). Hint: Too busy? Go to Under Current and order off the menu there.

Most Fabulous Mexican

Red Iguana

Who is going to stand in line for a Mexican restaurant? Hundreds of people — tourists, locals, foodies, all ages, sex, genders, orientations, and political stripes; every day wait for lunch or dinner at the two Red Iguana locations (which happen to anchor the reviving NoTe neighborhood).

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

Most Fabulous Greek Cuisine

The Other Place

This place is about comfort.

Enjoyable food in a cozy space with a enjoyable staff. Huge portions of delicious food for breakfast, lunch, or dinner are what people come back for time and time again. If you are looking for a late dinner on a Thursday night, stop and say hi to the men of the Salt Lake Men’s Choir, who dine there after rehearsal.

Most Fabulous Coffee House

Coffee Garden

Over 25 years of brewing! It’s national coming out day every day at the Coffee Garden. With a cup of CG coffee in you, you can face anything. Two locations: 9th and 9th, where you can dress like a student and glower at the Republicans getting QSaltLake magazines, and downtown at 245 S. Main, where you get to stand next to the Masters of the Universe from Goldman Sachs or the ever-exciting Dan Rascone from KUTV.

Most Fabulous Wine Selection

BTG

BTG (aka By The Glass) moved last year into the historic Eagle Building on 4th South and West Temple. They serve over 75 bottles of wine by the glass. Wow! Though probably not to just one person, right? If that were the case, Michael Aaron would be on a stool at least four days a week.

The staff is quite knowledgeable of their wines and can offer small bites and desserts to round out your night.

Most Fabulous Burger Joint

Lucky 13

Quarter-pounder burgers are for amateurs. The burgers at Lucky 13 start with 7-oz of chopped chuck, grilled to perfection.

Choose from a variety of signature burgers, each carefully accessorized with both tradi-

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tional (bacon, of course!) and non-traditional toppings (peanut butter on a hamburger? Don’t get your tongue stuck until you’ve tried it!)

Most Fabulous Sandwiches

Even Stevens

Even Stevens started with a dream to change the world.

That is a big dream, and in many ways, they have succeeded at that. While they are retooling their original “buy one, give one” concept, our readers still love their focus on craft, product, and humans.

Most Fabulous Pizza

The Pie

Most Fabulous Barbecue

R&R BBQ

R&R Barbecue is a funky counter-serve shack dishing BBQ meats, burgers, sides, and beers.

Buy by the plate or by the pound for a larger crowd. Or when you just need to dive into your dinner. No judgment.

Most Fabulous Seafood

Market Street Grill In the back wall of the walk-in cooler in the kitchen of Market

Street Grill is a portal, which leads to a wharf on an undisclosed island where fishermen dock with their daily catches.

Or at least we assume how the seafood is so fresh in a restaurant 700 miles from the nearest ocean.

Most Fabulous Soups

Soup Kitchen

Don’t let this restaurant’s traditional soup selections fool you, instead, let them fill you!

Their cream of tomato and clam

chowder are especially hearty and faaabulous — not to mention just the kind of warming, generous meal.

Most Fabulous Food Truck

Cupbop

Korean barbecue in a paper cup from a truck. Shhh! Just eat.

Follow their Facebook page for where they will be each day.

And now — actual restaurant locations around the valley from Provo to Layton.

UTAH’S BEST BURGER

Well, The Pie takes home yet another Fabby award for its outstanding pizzas swimming in cheese. It’s comfort food at its finest and a crowd-pleaser to college students and the youngat-heart.

Winner

2013 Fabby Awards

“Best Burger Joint”

Winner

2014

Most Fabulous Bakery

Fabby Awards

“Best Burger Joint”

Gourmandise

If you appreciate pastries, you’ll appreciate Gourmandise, whose very name means “indulging in good eating.” The mouth-watering sweet and savory creations are as much fun to look at as they are to eat. Don’t drool on the glass. But delectable cakes, desserts, and breads aren’t the only reason to stop there. They are a full-fledged European-style cafe and restaurant as well with menus and food that challenge the best area restaurants.

Winner

2015 Fabby Awards

“Best Burger Joint”

Winner

2016 Fabby Awards

“Best Burger Joint”

Winner

2017

Most Fabulous Sunday Brunch

Fabby Awards

“Best Burger Joint”

Ruth’s Diner

Located in Emigration Canyon, Ruth’s Diner has been drawing in the masses for years. It typically requires wait time for a table, particularly for brunch, but it’s well worth the wait. It’s likely been a constant Fabby winner/ nominee because of the fabulous patio and tasty mimosas.

Winner

2018 Fabby Awards

“Best Burger Joint”

LUCKY13SLC.COM

135 W. 1300 S. | 801.487.4418

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upstairs for your life events that everyone will rave about for years to come.

Most Fabulous Asian, Most Fabulous Sushi

Takashi

Takashi seems always to win both of these categories. Our readers love the atmosphere and food. And now that they opened up Post Office Place next door where you can get one of many cocktails as you wait to be seated. Tamara and Takashi Gibo love our community, and we love them back.

Most Fabulous Vegetarian/Vegan

Zest/Vertical Diner Most Fabulous Brew Pub

Squatters

Great beer, great food, great brunch (with $2 mimosas or

bloody marys)… Squatters has it all! Choose from a full menu of craft brews to complement your meal, and take home a growler of your favorite! Reserve

Zest is an open-aired, stylish Vegan restaurant, and handcrafted cocktail bar has all the elements of a Fabby winner.

Gluten-free, organic greens, avocado toast, and a chocolate smoothie with a splash of

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bourbon, anyone’s heart would be a-flutter. We, of course, are partial to the signature cocktails, including the beet sangria, high zest whiskey sour, and spicy jalapeño margarita.

Most Fabulous New Restaurant

Ginger Street

The secret is out. Ginger Street is a casual “Southeast Asian Hawker Style Street Food Restaurant” created by restaurateur Michael McHenry and chef Tyler Stokes. Featuring a fresh and locally sourced, inventive menu in a hip and clean atmosphere — they use the highest quality ingredients that encompass the Holy Trinity of flavor — sweet, sour, and salty — that creates balance. Dine in or use the “wok-up window” at 324 S. State St.

Absolutely Fabulous!

LUNCH DINNER COCKTAILS

18 WEST MARKET ST 801-519-9595

VOTED BEST SUSHI

BY QSALTLAKE READERS IN THE 2008–2019 FABBY AWARDS

Winning more awards than any other sushi restaurant in Salt Lake City. Fabby winner!

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BARS Most Fabulous All-Gay All-Day Every Day Bar

Sun-Trapp

Line-dancing, dart tournaments, drag shows, monthly fundraiser brunches, two to three bar areas and mostly a 10 a.m. opening daily makes Sun-Trapp an iconic go-to for friendly service and a mix of misfits worth the time and friendly banter.

Most Fabulous Bar That Gives Back to the Community

Club Try-Angles

Owners Gene Gieber and Jesse Downonhisknees (spelling is hard for me). Anyhoo, I’ve known them for like six years since I was 18. Best donators to many causes, saviors of peeps in pain, never think twice about what needs to happen to make our lives better, prideful as all

hell, and they have honestly protected me and so very many others, and will pull out all the punches to protect the community whether they want to or not; it’s second nature to them.

They are the gay mafia of HMB.

Most Fabulous Friday Night

Club Try-Angles

Well, TGIF. Three Fridays a month, Angles hosts wildly popular theme nights. Bear Night on the first Friday, which is a hugely, extremely friendly night. The next Friday night is Leather & Gear & Pups night, so expect the ASCPA, Alaskan bear hunters and peeps who love puppy mills.

And on the last Friday is the monthly Fluff party, full of lions and tigers and bears and dragons and puppies and unicorns.

Most Fabulous Saturday Night

Sun-Trapp

And the winner is Sun-Trapp, which could be because of the

awesome spinning of fabulous tunes, flip-flopping cowboy hats, boots, belt buckles, and or actually really meeting dozens of free-spirited, kind-hearted dudes. Congrats, Sun-Trapp.

Most Fabulous Monthly Bar Event

Fluff Party at Club Try-Angles This night has grown from a few dozen during a Furry convention into a monthly fluff-aganza.

Some of the friendliest animals you’ll ever meet.

RUNNER-UP: BLACKBOOTS, for four years, 2015-18, blackBOOTS was awarded the QSaltLake Fabby Award for Best Social Group. They strive to unite the men’s Leather/BDSM/ Kink community through creating safe places to meet, network, learn and share experiences with other men. The curious are welcome, as well experienced kinksters.

Fluff Party at Club Try-Angles

Most Fabulous for an Afternoon Crowd

Sun-Trapp

Afternoon drinking is a chill affair, so where better to do it than Sun-Trapp, where the bartenders and patrons alike greet you with a smile and a friendly hello?

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CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH

1492 S STATE ST, SALT LAKE CITY 801.468.1492

Most Fabulous Irish Pub (and to find Lesbians)

Piper Down Pub

Live music, trivia night, karaoke, buck-fitty mimosa brunch with a free bloody mary bar (!) and random kilts (which were fashioned for a piper down) make the pub a Fabby winner. But, as many gays like bag pipes, the lesbians like the bottomless cherries while thirsty. And don’t forget Mo. She brings all the girls to the ... pub.

Most Fabulous Bar for the Buck

Club Try-Angles If they could only offer a “bang for your buck,” they’d never get us out the door. Check around.

This bar’s prices are lower and the beer colder than any other in town.

Most Fabulous College Bar 7 EAST 4800 S. (1 BLOCK WEST OF STATE ST.) MURRAY 801-266-2127

2550 WASHINGTON BLVD. OGDEN 801.621.3483 FUNKANDDIVE.COM

751 N. 300 W. SALT LAKE CITY 801.953.0588

2550 WASHINGTON BLVD. OGDEN 801.621.3483 FUNKANDDIVE.COM

Cheers to You

By far we think Cheers to You loves the LGBTQ community.

And yes, maybe because they make a crap load of dough from our patronage during the hourslong Pride Parade, but they also let you get ‘bar coyote ugly’!

Next year, maybe two Fabbys if they they get a mechanical bull.

Most Fabulous Nightclub

Area 51

That’s pretty far from New Mexico, but Utah Suburbans get fabulous gas mileage. But do the math: with 7 areas, 3 dance floors, 3 bars, it ‘s gotta be 1 good time

Most Fabulous Sports Bar

Legends Sports Pub

They have more TV screens than the Oval Office, but with much more important information: Sports that crush so-called politics.

Most Fabulous Dive Bar

Wasted Space

Wasted Space Bar, located on State Street is a bubbler, whose door-less stalls (just guessing) and frustrated corporate crowd, make it an after-work destination. Wasted Space regularly features DJs and live music of every genre on a small stage, as well as karaoke on Mondays.

Most Fabulous Lounge

The Red Door

We here at QSaltLake congratulate Red Door on this award but we believe it all has to do with the signature martinis because after only one, we tend to cross the street with a plethora of

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LGBTQA+ (etc) flags chanting “impeachmentâ€? because we see the the word ‘Capitol’ blazoned in bulbs‌then we realize, it’s actually the Capitol of Broadway, so we start panhandling at intermission, smoke breaks and flash dancing. LOL.

Most Fabulous Beer Bar

Beer Bar

The iconic named Beer Bar, (which no homo can think of a more unique bar name) obviously takes home this Fabby award.

That’s just too much beer and shenanigans on one block‌ or in one refrigerator. See you all (in) there!

Most Fabulous Bar for Wine

BTG

BTG stands for Best to Gargle in a spittoon. But this is Utah for heaven’s sake. But Utah is progressing and wine makes your eyesight better and your tongue wiggle more. Honestly, BTG is an A+ establishment and worth the time and enjoyment.

The new space is, bar none, the best in town. And check out the bathroom floor. For the tile. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Most Fabulous Cocktails

Red Door

SHOPPING Most Fabulous Local Bookstore

King’s English Book Shop Tucked away in the charming 15th & 15th shopping district is a Fabby little store with a warren of shelves and rooms stacked with books on any and every subject: romance novels, philosophical tracts, histories, cookbooks. If you can’t find it here, you don’t need it. The staff is friendly and knowledgeable, and they love books at least as much as you do.

Most Fabulous Gently Used Clothing, Most Fabulous Place to Clothes Shop on a Budget

Iconoclad

Love fashion? Hate spending money? Check out iconoCLAD, where you can get fashion-forward “previously rocked� clothes at a fraction of retail and locally created art and accessories.

1511 South 1500 East • Salt Lake City, UT 84105

(801) 484-9100 • www.kingsenglish.com

WE HAVE BOOKS FOR EVERY PRONOUN

Most Fabulous Local Clothing Most Fabulous Underwear Most Fabulous Shoe Store

Spark

Wildly-popular Red Door is also loved by Salt Lake’s LGBT community for providing a welcoming environment in the heart of downtown near all the arts. Best place to be for the Utah Pride Parade. And it’s right across the street from Capitol Theatre‌ easy throwback before the intermission bell rings. Just be safe.

Shop sustainably and locally at this gay-owned boutique.

From underwear to cuff links, Spark has everything you need to dress to impress! Club-wear and boardroom chic, there’s nothing quite as fabulous in Salt Lake as this fashion-forward and queer-friendly shop.

Most Fabulous for Karaoke

Pib’s Exchange

If you like to sing or like to listen to others sing, or like to drink to make others’ singing tolerable, head to Tavernacle on Sunday or Tuesday night.

Swarming with all kinds of wigs, knee-high sparkled boots, naughty nurse costumes, gawdy jewelry, and even sometimes you will find a 20-dollar bill in a pair of used pants. Bam!

Tavernacle

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Free $50 Gift Card or iPod with new patient exam, complete series x-rays and cleaning.

One offer per family. Not valid with any other offer.

Limitations and Exclusions Apply.

Most Fabulous Drag Attire MOST FABULOUS Costumes

Dr Josef Benzon, DDS

Located in Bountiful & Salt Lake

Salt Lake 2150 S. Main St 104 801-883-9177

Bountiful 425 S. Medical Dr 211 801-397-5220

www.alpenglowdentists.com

To schedule an appointment, please call 801-883-9177 Evening and Saturday Appointments Available Most Insurances Accepted

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Main Street Emporium

Most Fabulous Antiques

Main Street Emporium The best selection of gently used and new items in one shop — in Bountiful! Local products and artists, socially aware items, and something for every taste.

Taking a leap of faith, husbands Chris and Brian decided to jump in with both feet and created Main Street Emporium in March of this year. Wanting to be more than a consignment or thrift shop, they created a beautiful store that is consignment and so much more.

Most Fabulous Place for Furniture

Urban Flea Market Since 2011 the Urban Flea Market has been a fabulous addition to downtown. And Q readers love the furniture!

Most Fabulous Florist

The Art Floral

Q readers agree that The Art Floral is the premier source for the best flowers in Salt Lake City — Custom designs, beautiful tropical arrangements, amazing customer care and of course, the most beautiful selection of fresh flowers Salt Lake City has to offer! If you don’t see exactly what you are looking for here, they’ll be happy to create a oneof-a-kind bouquet just for you.

Most Fabulous Jeweler

9th & 9th Jewelers 9th & 9th Jewelers offers free overnight digital CAD renderings, price quotes, and any

changes you want to your design within 24 hours. Now that deserves a Fabby!

Most Fabulous Gift Store

Lotus

Lotus is your premier metaphysical shop for purchasing gemstones, rocks, crystals, feng shui items, angels, fairies, oracle tarot decks, crystal books, jewelry, local art, unique gift items and many other treasures that make you feel good. They have special guests daily doing psychic readings and offer mini workshops on subjects such as meditation, law of attraction, Reiki, Chakra, astrology, and more to fuel your spiritual growth.

Most Fabulous Adult Toy Store

Cahoots

Cahoots has been in the game for 30 years mostly on East Harvey Milk Boulevard, and they never go stale. They keep up the trends and stay topical. Especially thrilling is the “sommelier” of lube and condoms. He seems to have used and has an opinion on the products he recommends.

Most Fabulous Nursery/ Garden Center

Millcreek Gardens

Millcreek Gardens is your yearround source for plants, garden supplies and wisdom. We carry Utah’s best roses, trees, shrubs and perennials, along with a fantastic selection of herbs, vegetables and seasonal color.

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We’ve got your

FABBY faa flowers

Kylee Howell at Friar Tuck’s Barbershop

SERVICES

Most Fabulous Caterer

Lux Catering

Most Fabulous Barber

Kylee Howell at Friar Tuck’s Barbershop It’s no surprise that Kylee Howell leads Friar Tuck’s Barbershop to a Fabby because Kylee is very fabby. The shop gives back to the community through service and fundraising for VOA and other LGBT nonprofits. If Fabby needs a punctuation mark, search Youtube with the words, Kylee and Dove. You’ll find a real exclamation point.

Most Fabulous Landscape Designer

Kelly and John Lake founded Le Croissant Catering in their kitchen and turned it into the most LGBT supporting and fanciest caterers in SLC. They transitioned to LUX in 2017 to emphasize they are the complete package for events — planning, design, flowers, as well as food.

Kelly will even sing at a funeral if asked.

Most Fabulous Hair Stylist

Matthew Landis

As one of the “Capitol 13”, Matthew Landis doth protests bad hair, wethinks!

Most Fabulous Counselor

Dean Anesi at Urban Garden Company

2019 Fabby winner!

SHOP NEW

CONSIGNMENT AND SO MUCH MORE!

Meghan Fry

Q readers give a big green thumbs up to Dean Anesi’s fabulous landscaping skills.

She’s so darn fabulous at “frying” your fears and insecurities. She is passionate about working with Utah’s LGBTQ community, and it shows.

66 S MAIN ST, BOUNTIFUL

801-299-1515

OPEN

TUES–FRI 10AM–6PM

SAT 10AM–4PM

M AINSTEMPORIUM.COM M MAINSTEMPORIUM P 66SOUTHMAIN

Millcreek Gardens Thanks you for your support.

3500 South 900 East 801.487.4131

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Most Fabulous Place to Get Pierced

Koi

Pierce my fin says Ellen but save my Dory, KOI?

Everything from Angels to Zen

Most Fabulous Veterinarian

Animal Care Center

Because the doctors and staff at Animal Care Center love your pets almost as much as you do, our community entrusts them with their fur babies. Salt Lake and Bountiful.

Most Fabulous Pet Groomer

Paw by Paw

12896 S Pony Express Rd Suite 200 in Draper (just north of IKEA) 801.333.3777 www.ilovelotus.com

LotusStore

Juan Magana

God loves you and we think you are fabulous!

First Bappst Church

Not what you’d expect, but maybe what you are looking for 800 S 1300 E www.firstbappst-slc.org

Most Fabulous Real Estate Agent

Juan Magana

From a satisfied customer: Juan has been an exceptional agent for us! He took on the task of selling our current home, open houses and all, as well as sold us our new home. He took the time to listen to our wants and needs and gave us great recommendations on what we should do to our old home to sell it for top dollar! On multiple occasions he took the extra time to explain things to us and ensure that we were comfortable in making our decisions. I would highly recommend Juan to anyone that is looking to sell or buy a new home. Fabby.

Most Fabulous Tattoos

Matt Miskol at Yellow Rose

For a 3rd consecutive year, Matt Miskol takes home a Fabby for his outstanding body art.

Makes us wonder what they do with the rest of the pet, haha!

Anyhoo, your dog will bark with enthusiasm at this local boutique, self-wash and grooming facility. Your furry friend will find a clean, convenient and beautiful self-wash shower designed to make bathing your dog easy and fun. Discover incredible treats like dog ice cream and dog cake mixes. We also stock fresh baked “iced” gourmet biscuits all formulated for your dog’s health and enjoyment. We want to be your onestop shop for your pet’s daily diet needs with top-of-the-line, grain free, premium food.

Most Fabulous Kennel/ Pet Boarding

Utah Dog Park

One of the great community supporters gets a Fabby for excellent facilities and great staff. Two locations (Woods Cross and North Temple) offer daycare and overnight kenneling with a dog wash and a pet shuttle.

Most Fabulous Car Dealership

JD Byrider

From honest detailed inspections to upstanding reconditioning process to low down payments, and much more, our Q readers find JD Byrider absolutely fabulous.

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Most Fabulous Insurance Agent

Most Fabulous Financial Planner

Jon Jepsen is one of those guys who gives back to the community, which probably is why he is chosen each year as the Fabby insurance agent by Q readers.

Most Fabulous Attorney

Tracey Dean wants to make people’s lives better by getting all their finances sorted out. She also gives back to the community, spending countless hours as chair of the Utah LGBTQ+ Chanber of Commerce.

Did any of us think he didn’t have a shot in hell? Pfft!

Most Fabulous Financial Institution

Jon Jepsen

Chris Wharton Most Fabulous Mortgage Broker

Sonnet Mouritsen As a Guild Mortgage loan officer, Sonnet is commited: helping clients understand their options for real estate financing and assisting them to make solid home loan decisions that meet their needs.

Most Fabulous DENTIST

Josef Benzon, dds at Alpenglow Dental If you are going to have someone’s hands in your mouth and have to stare at them for an hour or so, they better be Josef Benzon from Alpenglow Dental.

And he bounces between Salt Lake on 21st South to Bountiful.

Most Fabulous Photographer

David Daniels

We might as well name this award after him. David (or Dav.d) is at many, many gay functions with a camera glued to his eye.

He likes to shoot events and weddings of all kinds and portrait work in exciting settings.

Most Fabulous Wedding DJ

DJ Pauly

DJ Pauly works with clients to provide an atmosphere that’s fun, elegant and comfortable for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. They don’t tell cheesy jokes or make people wear silly hats and do the YMCA. Their motto is “One Day, One Party, One Dream-Come-True.”

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Tracey Dean Financial

America First Credit Union

America First Credit Union offers savings & checking accounts, mortgages, auto loans, online banking, Visa products, financial tools, business services and more.

Most Fabulous Church

First Baptist

Everyone is welcome here. Probably the most Christian church in the valley, in the way they treat everyone. What would Jesus do? Go to First Baptist.

Most Fabulous Travel Agency

HE TRAVEL

HE Travel offers exclusive gay travel tours and vacations for single gay men, gay couples, lesbians and friends. Swiss Alps?

Most Fabulous Wedding Planner

Angela Cordova, Diverse Diva Bright, bubbly, fun and creative; that’s Angela Cordova aka Diverse Diva. She puts together a Fabby wedding remembered as the best party most people will go to in their whole life.

Most Fabulous Wedding Officiant

Christopher Scuderi The Rev C S has performed a record 1000 marriage and commitment ceremonies. Not just weddings, Christopher does services covering every major life event or rite of passage.

801-308-2050

www.jonjepsen.com

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ARTS a 119-year-old building with exposed brick, cool lighting and with good food, beer, and wine. The brew-pub’s clientele is as diverse as you would expect on Ogden’s Historic 25th Street. Hop a Frontrunner to the foot of 25th Street and walk up, or stop by in Layton north of the Layton Hills Mall.

Most Fabulous Ogden Bar

Funk N’ Dive

OGDEN Most Fabulous Restaurant in Ogden

Roosters

Two words: naughty fries.

Roosters has won many Fabby Awards over the years. After all, its original location is in

Ogden’s only 5-Star Dive Bar was originally built as a Prohibition Speak Easy in the basement of the Ogden Courthouse. They have cheap drinks and amazing cocktails.

A galley kitchen is amazing with new twists on classic bar food and a great Vegan menu.

Weekly events include karaoke and Texas Hold’em – don’t tell BlackBOOTS. LOL.

Most Fabulous Dance Company

Ballet West

Nationally renowned talent and staging for well-proportioned, nearly nude female and male dancers. They do daring and traditional ballet and are very famous for cracking nuts. Always Fabby.

Most Fabulous Theater Company

Salt Lake Acting Company For over 45 years, Salt Lake Acting Company has produced seasons of provocative and thoughtful theater for an open-minded and adventurous audience. Perhaps best known for its annual production of Saturday’s Voyeur, SLAC is dedicated to supporting the community through theater.

Most Fabulous Local Theater Production

Saturday’s Voyeur This annual lampoon of local life, religion, politics, and culture has become a fixture in Salt Lake City theater. Sometimes poignant, often raucous, and always hilarious, Saturday’s Voyeur provides a welcome opportunity for Utah liberals to laugh at the frequent absurdity of life here.

Most Fabulous Local Musician/Band

SheCock and the Rock Princess

QSaltLake readers has honored SheCock and the Rock Princess with our prestigious Fabby Award. The “trashy” drag punk rock trio hits you upside the head with cross dressing antics and transsexual sass that blurs the lines of gender and genre.

Fabulous for she/he/him/her/ they/no preference.

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Most Fabulous Art Gallery/Museum

The Utah Museum of Fine Arts Located at the University of Utah the UMFA is the most fabulous destination for global visual arts.

From ancient objects to the latest contemporary works, the UMFA galleries showcase the breadth and depth of human history and creativity … it’s awestrucking! The Museum’s collection of nearly 20,000 original works of art is the most dynamic in the region. Plus, they’ll let you touch the pieces and play ‘keep away’ with the artifacts, Fabulous! Okay, that’s not true, but they do have a lovely gift shop in which you can put your greasy palms on for a price.

Most Fabulous Local Visual Artist

Trent Call

Born and raised in Salt Lake City and a University of Utah alumnus, Call is currently working on many diverse projects within the city. His work incorporates graffiti, comics, popular culture, and academic painting. He is a well-deserved multiple Fabby winner.

Most Fabulous Local Actor

Robert Scott Smith

This young man’s resume is absolutely fabulous, here’s a snippet of his successes: Saturday’s Voyeur, Good People, Charm (World Premiere), Swimming In The Shallows, Six Years, Big Love, Batboy: The Musical, and Gross Indecency (Salt Lake Acting Company); Crucible (Pioneer Theatre Company); Shhh! Burlesque, and Santaland Diaries (Tooth and Nail Theatre); Our Town (The Grand Theatre); Mockingbird (Pygmalion); and Bash (Plan-B). Smith also collaborated with the Salt Lake Men’s Choir in Lost In The Woods, a theatrical concert at the Masonic Temple.

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GROUPS Most Fabulous Social Group (TIE)

blackBOOTS

blackBOOTS is a group for Utah men with leather, kink, BDSM, or fetish interests.

They host social events, workshops, classes and an award-winning bar leather gear night CODE on the third Friday of each month at the Sun Trapp.

United Utah Furry Fandom U2F2 prides itself on being one of the most active and open furry communities in the United States, opening its paws to some of the most imaginative, passionate and creatively driven members. They hold weekly game nights, fitness activities, art jams, adventure excursions, hiking activities, and a monthly bar night at Club Try-Angles on the fourth Friday of the month.

Most Fabulous Sports Group

Stonewall Sports

A newcomer to Salt Lake City, Stonewall Sports is currently offering kickball and volleyball with plans to expand to more sports. They are an LGBTQ+ and ally not-for-profit sports league looking to develop a well-connected and diverse community through organized competition and social or fundraising events.

Most Fabulous Health/HIV Group

Utah AIDS Foundation Over 35 years of offering testing, advocacy, prevention, support and education around HIV and Aids issues. It’s been a place of comfort for thousands and a training ground for many health and social justice warriors. Some of us got our first condom from UAF and for many our first STI test. Fabby well deserved.

Most Fabulous Political Group (TIE)

Equality Utah

Equality Utah is a powerhouse in Utah politics. Taken seriously in all levels of government and putting on Utah’s biggest annual political event, the Allies Gala, EU has built a great structure on the fine foundation laid by brave LGBT leaders and donors 18 years ago.

Utah Stonewall Democrats

PARK CITY

travel more (with emotional support Peacocks).

Most Fabulous Restaurant in Park City

Most Fabulous Park City Bar

High West

Thank you Q readers; yes, the have some great beer selections but their food menu is like reading A Suitable Boy, in which every suit from Mr. Mac’s made ( or taste) like lifeless silkworms.

While appropriately garnered with the prestigious Fabby for Most Fabulous Park City Restaurant, High West thankfully has two additional locations in SLC — one being at the airport. We should all air

Oh Shuck’s

and sometimes touching peek into what it’s like to be a gay dad, along with his husband, in Utah.

Utah Stonewall Democrats was called a “political powerhouse”

by Rod Decker (KUTV News) clear back when it was founded in 1990. They’ve only grown since.

his profile on fox13now.com credits QSaltLake in part for his popularity. He has covered some of Utah’s biggest over a nearly 20-year career. We watch 13 just to see what socks he’s wearing that day.

Most Fabulous Group to Donate To

Most Fabulous Television News Anchor/Personality

Riley Richter at Sun-Trapp

Shauna regains her Fabby award as the best anchor on air in the state. She seems to be your best friend telling you the news who just happens to be on your television.

Most Fabulous DJ at a Gay Bar

Utah Pride Center Fabulousness = Donating, and the Utah Pride Center is the epicenter. UPC’s many outreach and educational programs, and uplifting social events make it a Fabby award-winner once again.

Most Fabulous Annual LGBT Event

Utah Pride Festival A hundred thousand revelers can’t be wrong. Utah Pride continues to grow and get more fabulous while being more focused on local talent and people. The annual fundraiser for the UPC has gotten meaner, leaner and better along the way.

PEOPLE Most Fabulous Television News Reporter Most Fabulous Blogger/Tweeter

Shauna Lake

Most Fabulous Politician for the LGBT Community

Jim Dabakis

Jim Dabakis is a brand name for LGBT and left-of-center political action. If something is going on, he’s there to support (or oppose if necessary), comment, found, finance, and speechify. It seems being Utah State Senator from the Second District and political type was his full-time job, but he’s an entrepreneur and heavily involved in the visual arts biz for decades. If he reprises his oneman show, run — don’t walk — to get tickets.

Ben Winslow

Most Fabulous QSaltLake Columnist

Ben Winslow is a multi-platform journalist, experimenting with new technologies and ways of sharing news across multiple platforms. We love that

An out-and-proud gay dad brings his family’s life, and the lives of other LGBT families, front and center. He gives us an amusing

Christopher Katis

Most Fabulous Bartender at a Gay Bar Not only can Riley make a mean cocktail, but he also volunteers for the Human Rights Campaign, How fabulous is that? Oh, you can also find him at Murphy’s on his not-too-often downtime.

DJ Naomi at Sun-Trapp

Local DJ Harry Cross Jr. said of DJ Naomi in a QSaltLake interview a few years back, “I learned so much from some great talent, and being the lighting director got me interested in being a DJ and helped me learn some of the skills needed. (DJ) Naomi Watts was one of the biggest influences on me, and she is such an awesome DJ.”

Most Fabulous Leader of an LGBT Group

Tracey Dean of Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce Tracey Dean has made the Utah LGBTQ Chamber rock and roll.

Her tireless efforts to align with other diversity chambers, create compelling business events and bring business owners together are very Fabby worthy. Q

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

ART EXHIBITS

So many hours fact-checking as I do, like Donnie Trump, I was truly sold that ARCADIAN DREAMSCAPES is a movement of illegal immigrants fleeing the recently-purchased Arctic “colony” from the good ol’ US of A to Utopian Arcady, a region regarded as living close to nature, not corrupted by civilization, and cheerfully swarming with virtuous women. Yet, some of this was was lost in translation; please, I’m a hick originally from Texas, just sayin’.

As this diatribe is not necessarily accurate — since I’m a recovering hick — Arcadian Dreamscapes is actually a vibrant and compelling collection of works by Utah artists Anna Martin, Brian Hoover, and Brittany Volquardsen curated by the Utah Arts Alliance. It’ll “crackle with life, energy and imagination,” unlike Donnie’s neurons.

TUESDAY — ACARDIAN DREAMSCAPES

Tony’s Gay Agenda 5CONCERTS

Utah Arts Alliance, Urban Art Gallery, 116 S. Rio Grande St., times vary through Dec. 1. Free, urbanartsgallery.org

BY TONY HOBDAY

YVIE ODDLIE PHOTO VIA FACEBOOK

Back in 2016, longtime pop artist (once one of the unequivocal pop sensations The GoGo’s), BELINDA CARLILE headlined the 2016 Utah Pride Festival. She, now as beautiful as ever, returns to Utah this November. The mother of a gay son, she said in 2016 to our contributing entertainment guru, Chris Azzopardi, “You know, I’ve always kind of gotten it, because from the beginning, my friends have been 90 percent gay and lesbian.

That’s just the way it’s been for me. So I’d rather have a gay son than a straight son, let me just say that.

But now, I look at it differently, because I know that when my son told me, it was like, ‘What’s life gonna be like for him?’ Is he going to be treated equally wherever he goes?” I think about that for any gay person now, and I never really thought about that before. Now I think about how the world is toward gay people, and although it’s better, we’re still not 100 percent accepting.” Ain’t that the truth!

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

2

SATURDAY — BELINDA CARLILE

Dejoria Center, High Star Ranch, 970 UT-32 West, Kamas, 8 p.m. Tickets vary, smithstix.com

Whether THE RITE OF SPRING actually caused a fullblown riot at its premiere or it’s just a much-loved myth, come see for yourself what all the fuss was about. Concert highlights include watching as the talents of the Utah Symphony are stretched to the limit on Stravinsky’s staggeringly colorful and challenging masterpiece The Rite of Spring. Also, spend a few minutes in an 18th-century salon as Maestro Thierry Fischer continues his fascinating survey of Haydn’s earliest symphonies.

Pre-concert festivities include learning more about this music at a pre-concert lecture, which begins 45 minutes prior to the start of the concert in Abravanel Hall’s First Tier Room.; and enjoy Lobby Fest performances 30 minutes before the performance in the lobby by members of the company’s Youth Guild.

FRIDAY — UTAH SYMPHONY

22

Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 7:30 p.m., through Saturday. Tickets 10-92, artsaltlake.org

DRAG SHOWS

JRC Events presents RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE Season 11 winner YVIE ODDLY, a shy or selfie-ish kind of queen who prefers full blood and bones and nips n’ tucks that you may only touch with a surgical glove or condom. But hey, to each her own. The evening with the lovable diva will certainly make for an oddly Yvie evening, but you certainly may take selfies of yourself trying to emulate the 11th queen of strange green room breakdowns.

SUNDAY — YVIE ODDLY

13

Metro Music Hall, 615 w. 100 South, 9 p.m.

Tickets $20-50, ticketfly.com

THEATRE

Based on the movie starting Meryl Streep, the amazing Another Theater Company presents DOUBT. Picture this: A Catholic school (Whatt? They still exist? ...Oh, yeah, Boston!), but in the Bronx, NY, in 1964, it was a another time of uncertainty. Sister Aloysius, a ruler-swatting teacher prone to that era of abuse and a fear of progression suspects an inappropriate relationship between a “Father” of God and a 12-year-boy “negro” boy. No doubt, bring your holy water (or a bottle of gin)!

FRIDAY — DOUBT

1

An Other Theater Company, 1200 Centre Blvd., Provo, 7:30 p.m., through Nov. 23, Tickets $15, anothertheatercompany.com

October 17, 2019 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

Local musician/author releases an illustrated book on bullying for kids Local LGBTQ+ author, singer and songwriter Wendy Jo Bradshaw has just published a new children’s book about the powers of voice and choice in

gender expression, diversity, and bullying. It is titled A Very Important Power and is an illustrated chapter book for ages 7-11.

With the rise in LGBTQ+

bullying and youth suicide, Wendy Jo has been compelled to teach kids the solutions to problems like bullying and peer pressure. Her dream is to help kids find the treasure of the power of their voice. She wants them to feel good about themselves no matter what others say or do. Wendy Jo’s motto is: Helping Kids See, They Are a Treasured VIP. “A great book that does an excellent job of covering the topic of bullying,” writes Kristal Leon in a review. “It’s a unique illustrated chapter book, that not only empowers the kids being bullied, but it also helps bystanders, and the ones doing the bullying.

“A Very Important Power is about a 9-year-old cowgirl named Wild West Wendy Jo who has red hair and loves to wear her cowboy boots.

Unfortunately, because Wild West Wendy Jo is different

from her classmates, she begins to get bullied so much so that she no longer wants to go to school. Wendy Jo writes a letter to Vippi Mouse of the Vippi Treasure Quests Show for advice.

“Vippi Mouse answers Wendy Jo’s plead for help, and he encourages Wendy Jo to solve her problems with the bullies at her school. Through an exciting quest filled with treasures, time-traveling, and western filled investigation, this book teaches kindness, courage, and acceptance of self and others. It also teaches young buckaroos that they have the ‘power of choice and voice’ to help combat bullying.”

Wendy Jo has also written and recorded four empowering new songs to accompany the book. The book and all the music are available at her vippimouse.com website.

Wendy’s book is also available at Barnes and Noble, and at

other online retailers. A Very Important Power has achieved Amazon #1 New Release as well as bestseller status in its categories.

Bradshaw lives in Utah, very near to her two daughters and nine grandchildren, with her wife Evelyn and two little Dachshunds named Annie Oakley and Jackpot.

Wendy Jo has been a longtime member of the Salt Lake City LGBTQ+ community where, through her music and performances, she has helped to raise funds for the Aids Foundation, The Utah Pride Center, Peter Christie’s LIVE! for Life, and The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire.

Wendy Jo is also a member of the Mama Dragons, whose mission is to support, educate, and empower mothers of LGBTQ children. Their vision is a world where all mothers fiercely love and advocate for their LGBTQ children. Q

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | LIFE

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

the frivolist

5 Tech-Savvy Ways to Stack Your Savings at Target

BY MIKEY ROX

Fact:

You can’t go to Target without spending a hundred bucks.

You know how it goes: You enter the store armed with a list that you plan to stick to, yet this, that and the other thing (thanks, Hunter for Target!) ends up in your cart because you have to have it.

There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself every now and then, but this habit can seriously affect your financial well-being and put a sizeable dent in your budget if you’re not careful.

There’s hope, however – in the form of savings that are hiding right on your phone and computer. All you have to do is harness the power of these money-saving tactics to keep more cash in your pocket.

1. TARGET MOBILE APP On the Target mobile app, which is available for free download on iPhone, iPad and Android devices, there’s a section labeled Mobile Coupons within the Deals & Coupons menu that features select items available for discounts. Some items are reduced by varying dollar amounts while others qualify for a percentage off.

Typical sale items include kitchenware, apparel and Target-brand foods. Consult the Mobile Coupons section before you shop to see what you have on your list that matches the available deals. At

checkout pull up the app so the cashier can scan the preset barcode, and watch the savings subtract.

Another tip I’ve learned over the years is to always scan your items via the mobile app as you’re shopping. You wouldn’t believe the amount of price discrepancies I’ve uncovered between what’s listed on the tag versus the online price. Target will honor whichever is lower. I’ve cashed in like this dozen of times, which made me realize that most shoppers are probably overpaying on multiple items per trip on a regular basis. Put in the extra bit of time and reap the savings.

2. TARGET CARTWHEEL APP Target’s Cartwheel feature in its mobile app provides a more comprehensive listing of items that are available for discounts. This section provides deals on more of the everyday items you need, like groceries and cleaning supplies, at savings ranging from 5% to 50% off. To qualify for the deals, you have to manually add them to your list before checkout; it also auto-adds in store as soon as you scan a qualifying item with the app. This app is heavy on discounts for Target-brand goods, but there are plenty of name brand items available as well. Like the Mobile Coupons on the Target mobile app, just present the app’s barcode to the cashier to save.

3. TARGET REDCARD

First Wednesdays at 7pm at the Utah Pride Center 1380 S Main St Info at bit.ly/UGHS_Lecture Read ‘This Day in Gay Utah History’ at benwilliamsblogger.blogspot.com

By signing up for the Target RedCard credit card, you’ll save 5% on all your purchases.

But buyer beware: This may not be in your best interest if you’re not the kind of credit-card user who pays the full balance before it’s due. Pay your bill

past its due date and you could be slapped with a late fee that will not only negate the 5% savings but cost you more money in interest in the long run. Another perk of RedCard is free shipping on all Target. com purchases, which can save avid Internet shoppers a substantial amount of dough given the high price of shipping fees these days.

4. PRINTABLE TARGET COUPONS In addition to the generous in-app savings that Target offers, it also includes a section on its website that allows shoppers to print coupons in advance of their visit. To find these coupons, go to Target.com and enter “Target Coupons” in the search bar. Once there, you’ll find printable savings on more than 100 items in all categories, from baby and beauty to personal care and pets. Select the deals you’d like then choose whether you’d like to have your order shipped or same-day pickup at your nearest Target.

5. IBOTTA APP If you haven’t yet discovered Ibotta, it’s time you did. This mobile app, compatible with Apple and Android devices, isn’t a direct descendant of Target, but it does have a partnership with the company (as well as many other popular shopping, travel and dining brands). Instead of instant savings, however, Ibotta pays you in real cash for redeeming the offers it has available. Ibotta also often has sweepstakes and add-on rebates to up the ante, and those are generally attached to everyday items you need, like bread and milk. Definitely worth the free download if you enjoy getting paid to shop. I’ve personally received about $800 cash back in the past five years I’ve been using it. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox

October 17, 2019 |

FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

DINING GUIDE Fabby Award Winner

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

October 17, 2019 |

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

Mary and Rhoda

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.

Q doku

Level: Medium

8 2 3 6

8 5 4 4 1 8 6 6 2 3 7

3

8 6 4 3

1 2 7

6 5 4 2

7 1 4

8

7

8 3

3 1 8 4 9 3 6 4 6 9 3 5 8 7 8 1

4 7

2 5 3 6 8 4 2 5 7 9 1 3 2 8 4 6

1 9

4 5

4

9

9 7 2 1 7 5

1

1

5

2 5

6 7 2 8

6 8 4

1

2 3 8 7 6 6 2 8 7 6 4 9 5 2

5

2

4 1 8

1 9 2 8 6 4 5 2 9 4 8 1 7 3 2 1 1 3 9 7

46 Cross-dresser Klinger’s hometown ACROSS 48 Hawke of Hamlet 1 Facial application 50 See 19-Across 4 B in Leviticus 54 “The Great Masturbator” painter 8 Mark through 56 Trucker’s shaft 12 Straddling 57 Von Trapp family 14 Toledo’s lake escape route 15 Big name in pumps 58 Performed like a top 16 Hard to come by 59 Like Lindsay Lohan’s 17 “No” voter movie girls 18 Trojans’ org.

60 Nemesis of Tinker19 With 35-Across, bell Mary Richards, or 61 Go downhill fast? with 50-Across, Rhoda Morgenstern 62 Sin City star Jessica 63 Cross-dresser Joan 22 Actress Veronica of ___ 23 Put your sandwich meat in this DOWN 26 Princess Leia’s dad, 1 Style expert Stewart as a boy 2 Affirmation member, 27 Salty white stuff for one from the Greeks 3 Maria’s scale song 31 Drag queen ___ 4 Hairy one in the den Hapi 5 Marine birds 32 Poet/essayist John 6 Brother of Janet 34 Beatle Bailey dog Jackson 35 See 19-Across 7 Condiment company 37 “Nuts!”

8 One who fears peo39 Salty tasting ple at Uranus 40 Slumdog Millionaire 9 Touch lips setting 10 Home o’ the brave 42 Place for your 11 Ode opener drawers 13 Cartoon skunk Le Pew 43 Dickinson’s howe’er PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 39

20 Fairylike 21 Puppy’s squeak 24 Gay history mo.

25 Capt. of industry 28 Goes down on 29 Bald tire’s lack 30 Make muddled 32 Keener of Capote 33 “You know how ___” 35 Sex toy for a glory hole?

36 Like Bernstein, regarding pitches 37 Banned bug killer 38 Classic auto 41 Popular words in Provincetown 43 Louise’s partner 44 Rhoda star Valerie 45 “Keep your pants on!”

47 Most recent legitimately elected president 49 Christmas poem opener 51 Doug Mattis leap 52 Use your mouth unfaithfully 53 Musical Horne 54 High-speed connection 55 The Simpsons storekeeper

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

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MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

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2 4 3 7 9 1 6 8 5

4 8 5 2 7 3 9 6 1

1 6 7 2 4 3 9 5 8

9 3 5 7 8 6 2 1 4

2 4 6 9 1 5 8 3 7

8 7 1 4 3 2 5 9 6

1 3 7 8 4 2 9 6 5

5 8 6 7 9 1 3 4 2

2 4 9 6 5 3 8 7 1

8 9 5 1 2 7 4 3 6

3 7 2 5 6 4 1 8 9

4 6 1 3 8 9 5 2 7

M O R T G AG E S / L OA N S

9 2 7 4 6 1 5 8 3

4 8 3 5 9 7 1 6 2

HAIR SALON

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1 3 6 8 5 9 4 2 7

5 2 9 8 6 1 4 7 3

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7 1 8 9 3 6 2 5 4 3 9 6 7 1 8 3 2 9 6 4 5

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9 2 3 4 7 5 6 1 8 7 4 5 3 9 2 6 5 4 7 8 1

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6 5 4 2 1 8 7 9 3 1 8 2 6 5 4 1 7 8 3 2 9

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah  lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition  utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/ saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

Qsaltlake.com |

Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250

Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545

SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah  1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org

LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org  fb.me/ utahstonewalldems RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays

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Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E

Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

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ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

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October 17, 2019 |

BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

A Wild and Precious Life: A Memoir

BY EDIE WINDSOR WITH JOSHUA LYON, ©2019, ST. MARTIN’S PRESS, $27.99, 274 PAGES

There’s a long line of people behind you.

Some are afraid to be seen, to speak up, or to show up. Others don’t want to get involved, so they’re sitting this one out. One thing, though: they’re all watching to see what you do next because, as in the new memoir, A Wild and Precious Life by Edie Windsor with Joshua Lyon, someone’s got to be first.

There was never any doubt that little Edie Schlain was fiercely adored.

The youngest child of the

q scopes NOVEMBER

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

The path to freedom appears in the form of passion and good spirits. It’s amazing how good someone makes you feel when things get a little tough. Don’t grow dependent on others for happiness, but if an opportunity for it exists, take advantage of it. Strength spawns from coziness, especially in matters of the heart.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Priorities of equal importance flood your agenda.

Discouragement ensues without a clear first step, and progress is stalled. Career woes should be handled lightly, while relationship and family matters demand a direct approach. Patience is good, but don’t delay. Draining the pressures of life will provide immediate relief.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

The future seems unclear and a path undefined. This would be fine if you knew the general direction things were going. A normal sense of adventure is notably missing, but do not fret. Life continues moving for-

family, Edie grew up wanting to be like her big sister, protected by her big brother, and the apple of her parents’ eyes. She admits that she was “spoiled” then, not in a bad way but just enough to give her the confidence and brass a child of the Great Depression might need.

She remembered the beginning of World War II, although not in the sense that most did: her recollections were of a houseful of boys, her brother’s friends, laughing and eating and gathering in her parents’ home before going off to war, then mourning when word arrived of those who’d never come home.

Edie always liked boys and as she matured, she bantered with her brother’s friends although she occasionally thought it odd how much she liked watching other girls.

“The idea that anything physically intimate with a girl could happen simply did not exist,” she said.

But eventually, it did, with a tennis partner in college, then with a female roommate she loved before realizing that there was “no other available reality” than to fall into lockstep with other young women of the 1950s, settle down, and marry a nice man.

The marriage lasted six months.

At the end, Edie, who’d convinced her husband to adapt the surname “Windsor,” realized that she needed to tell him the truth. Pondering how to tell him, she immersed herself in Judy Garland “fantasy” musicals, and she planned: “Guess what, Judy? I’m a lesbian.”

“If you’re looking to read about Edie’s Supreme Court case, put this down…” says co-author Joshua Lyon in his preface.

But don’t be too hasty: A Wild and Precious Life has enough to offer, all by itself” Indeed, though he still touch-

ward and will eventually show its cards.

Now is not a good time to gamble, so some caution would be wise.

be aware of some romantic intentions.

CANCER June 21–July 22

You’ve kept a big secret for a while. However, everyone already knows what the secret is! Don’t fear to let friends know what defines you, as it will make the world much easier to deal with. Being out of your comfort zone could take time to adjust to, but being exposed can be very liberating. Freedom is a gift to your self.

LEO July 23–August 22

A helping hand comes from a family member. A humble nature will emerge as a result, and a new perspective will shape your outlook.

Spend time with those close to you, and don’t let a moment of anger overcome your sensibilities. Staying calm when things heat up is encouraged.

The last thing needed right now is deep regret.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22

A big change is coming, so be prepared. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like everyone is too busy. But it’s a good time for reflection and personal expression.

Splurge a little, but don’t venture too far from the familiar. A neat friend will make a surprise appearance. However,

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

es upon the fight that helped achieve marriage equality, Lyon says that Windsor “desperately wanted” readers to know about her pioneering work in computers and technology, which was a “core part of her identity” and of which she was enormously proud. In her words here, which Lyon indicates that she edited herself, Windsor also woos readers with breezy wit, racy love stories, and seemingly casual-not-casual, semi-nonchalant depictions of being a lesbian in the mid-twentieth-century, and what it was like living in the shadows but flirting hard with the light.

Early in this book, Lyon says he fretted about how to finish it after Windsor died, but he needn’t have worried. Though its ending feels a little rushed, A Wild and Precious Life flows perfectly and entertains delightfully, making it a book you’ll want in front of you. Q

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Dreams can be frightening if the truth is mistaken for logic.

Don’t blow things out of proportion without measuring the extent of reality. Family members take advantage of insecurities, so avoid a tragedy before it starts. If things don’t feel right, make the necessary adjustments.

Small changes make the biggest of differences.

There is no such thing as a perfect life, but perfect moments are possible. Great moments will occur during this time, especially in business matters. An intriguing opportunity will be a powerful lure. Be cautious with individuals who seem too willing to give. Open arms could be a trap. Set restrictions and stand firm.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

Running away feels good from time to time. This will ring true during this time, Aquarius. Personal entanglements are bound to get sticky, but a little distance will help in overcoming the mess. Eliminate one problem at a time, and free time will flow your way. Relax with a clear head.

A good cry could also be cleansing.

A period of intense emotional strain will lead to an increase of desires. Give in to temptation with a sense of modesty, and satisfaction will be more abundant. An increase in finances will come available, but conservation would be wise. Save for something you want while being aware of hard times ahead.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

Friends from the past will appear quickly and surprisingly. Welcome or not, there are memories attached to these people. Buried emotions will rise to the surface. Evaluate your feelings carefully and tread lightly. The past is remembered differently from others.

Misunderstandings could result in conflict.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

Feeling through a problem is only part of the process.

Embrace both reason and instinct when finalizing a crucial decision.

Career development will cause both delight and frustration when too many options become available. The future isn’t certain, but the consequences are.

Do what feels right to your head and heart. Balance. Q

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | TRAVEL

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico offers beach weddings with picturesque sunsets MARRIOTT AND WESTIN HOTELS WELCOME LGBTQ WEDDINGS

BY JERRY JONES, NEMA NEWS NETWORK

For many

LGBTQ couples, a wedding in an exotic location or even one on the beach was something they could dream about but never really afford.

The staff at two sister hotels in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, want you to know that your wedding dreams can come true, and they are looking to work with you and your budget. The Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa and The Westin Resort and Spa Puerto Vallarta, sit about a mile apart from each other, and both have received LGBT certification by the Jalisco Tourism Secretariat and Talento Consultores; The Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa is also TAG Approved, and TMR Out Now certified.

With the hotels operating under the Marriott International umbrella, they sit on a beachfront property overlooking Banderas Bay and the Pacific, and each has ample space for just about any size wedding.

Marriott International has long been recognized as a leader in the hotel industry on topics of diversity and inclusion, PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE WESTIN RESORT & SPA, PUERTO VALLARTA

regularly scoring a 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index. The company also offers education and sales training to its associates to give them greater insight into what their guests might expect.

However, be warned that most of the American weddings performed at

the hotels are symbolic in nature – the couples have gotten married before they left the USA. If you want a legal Mexican ceremony, the law requires that you be in the country at least four days prior to your wedding, and there are several other steps that you must take.

“Love is love has become our inspira-

October 17, 2019 |

TRAVEL | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

tion to coordinate wedding experience.

We remember that this is not only the wedding day for the couple, it’s also the arrival of friends and family, setting up the right moments for networking and details that will long last memories of your special day” said. Areli Vega, wedding and special events manager, The Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort and Spa. “Our recently renovated resort offers amazing beachfront locations, it has become a preferred resort for Americans and Canadians. Some couples have marked their first walk together on white horses, others prefer the butterfly release, and of course, we can always make the vow pronunciation a special surprise for your loved one.”

Most of the weddings held at the hotels are done on the beach, and at sunset.

Each hotel will only allow two weddings on the same day.

With wedding packages starting as low as $75 USD per person (not including food), each hotel has specialists who will work with LGBTQ couples to help make them feel comfortable and make lifetime memories.

“We have a lot option to offer with our packages, or we can personalize their wedding to meet their own needs,” said Denisse Montes De Oca, wedding and special events manager, The Westin

Resort and Spa Puerto Vallarta. “We love to work with couples. And their location in the USA is not a problem. We work

through email, telephone, and FaceTime right up until the wedding.”

Planning for a wedding – especially one that is in a foreign country – can be a daunting experience. But, rest assured Montes De Oca said, the thousands of details will be expertly handled.

“Our certified wedding planners are trained to help,” she explained. “After completing demanding coursework, each Marriott Certified Wedding Planner is qualified to coordinate weddings of all types, including ethnic and military weddings. Relying on experience, training, tradition and old-fashioned intuition, Marriott Certified Wedding Planners can help you determine an overall vision for your wedding and help you execute each detail. That includes setting an event budget; deciding on a menu; arranging table settings; and finding florists, photographers, a band and other entertainment for the big day.”

Montes De Oca said she is often asked “when is the best time of year to have my wedding” and she said that the hotels can make any time of the year work.

“We have a huge annual pride celebration in Puerto Vallarta around Memorial Day,” She said. “That’s always a high-interest time. But there are pros and cons to our different seasons. The summer months can be hotter and later in the summer rain showers are typical. But both hotels are experienced and can make anything work to please the happy brides or grooms.” Q

PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE MARRIOTT RESORT & SPA, PUERTO VALLARTA

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

the frivolist

6 Changes to make when your stubborn love handles keep on stickin’

BY MIKEY ROX

You work hard at the gym, and it can be frustrating when all that exercise and effort isn’t providing the results you want – like melting away the fat around your midsection. Part of the problem may be that you’ve gotten yourself into a routine that’s no longer working, causing your weight-loss goals to plateau. There are ways to tackle this universal issue, from obvious habit changes to more under-the-radar solutions, like planning an adventure getaway. Take a look.

1. Reduce your stress Stress causes unwanted anxiety, but it also can lead to other adverse health effects, including headaches, high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, and, yes, weight gain. In fact, elevated levels of stress hormones can make your body reluctant to release excess weight and may even lead it to store more. Figure in all that stress eating and you’re ballooning in no time.

Integrative health and nutrition consultant Devon Battaglia provides a few tips for stress reduction: “Stress management techniques such as daily deep belly breathing for even as little as five minutes can work wonders,” she says. “[as can] meditation, laughter, playing with our pets and unplugging from all media.”

2. Cut out carb-heavy foods Even as gay men, we love pizza, wings, snacks and beer. But you can’t go to the gym, make progress, then go home and ruin it all by diving face first into a pepperoni pie and expect to see your waist slimming. At best, you’ll maintain the weight you’re at, but eventually those eating habits will catch up to you, no matter how much time you spend sweating it all out.

One of the biggest causes of belly fat is consuming carb-heavy foods,” says Dr.

Catherine Metzgar, a nutritional biochemistry expert at Virta Health. “Glycogen is the storage form of carbohydrates in the body. For it to exist in your cells, it has to be surrounded by a barrier of water. The human body tightly controls blood sugar levels, so when you eat a carb-heavy meal, glucose gets transported into your cells and liver. Once there, it gets added to existing glycogen, which required more water and causes more ‘bloat.’”

To reduce water retention and ultimately get rid of those love handles, Dr. Metzgar suggests addressing the primary cause of carbohydrate intake by eliminating processed carbohydrates and focusing on fruit and vegetable intake, lean protein and healthy fat.

3. Track your progress properly Hopping on the scale to see how many pounds you’ve lost or gained isn’t the best way to monitor your progress – not singularly, at least. According to Mary Weidner, co-founder of the training and nutrition app Strongr Fastr, you should take regular body measurements (torso, arms, legs, etc.) and weigh yourself every day at the same time of day, then look at long-term trends instead of focusing on the day-to-day changes.

“Sometimes people find their weight is staying the same while the size of their love handles are decreasing,” she says.

“There are many things that go into one’s weight day-to-day and only long-term trends are important.”

4. Increase healthy fat consumption It’s harder for men over 40 years old to lose belly fat because the metabolism begins to slow down, but the amount of food one eats continues the same – and the human body favors adding fat to the stomach area before any other body part.

“This is why you’ll often see men with big stomachs but tiny legs,” quips

Anthony Treas, a men’s health and brain performance coach.

To lose body fat, he suggests increases healthy fat consumption, which includes nuts, seeds, fish, olive oil and avocados.

“Healthy fats added to one’s diet will help the body to burn the fat that is already within the body,” he says.

5. Try Fitpacking Backpacking is a great way to trim your love handles, and adventure company Fitpacking provides half-week to 14-day trekking experiences for people who want to lose weight while spending time exploring the United States’ national parks and nature preserves. You’ll burn fat during the multi-mile daily walkabouts as you carry your outdoor and camping necessities in your pack, plus you can only eat whatever you can carry. (Sorry, Doritos don’t travel well.) You’ll see results over the course of your expedition by monitoring the “overhang” on your pants. “By the end of your trip, you can gauge your progress by how much tighter you can cinch the belt,” says Fitpacking founder Steve Silberberg.

6. Switch it up and go harder Eliminating or at least slimming those love handles isn’t easy, but if you’ve plateaued at the gym, it’s probably time to establish a new regimen.

Courtney Meidenbauer, a registered dietitian nutritionist and the state media representative for the Wisconsin Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, agrees.

“Typically for those who are established in their gym routine, I recommend trying a new activity or increasing the intensity,” she says. “If you find yourself doing a cardio activity, think of another cardio activity that is different from what you usually do. The change in activity can be a new challenge for our bodies, which can help kick-start weight loss again.” Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels

October 17, 2019 |

ISSUE 305 | Qsaltlake.com

ask mr. manners

DINING GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

We give thanks

BY ROCK MAGEN

Thanksgiving

quickly brings to mind thoughts of savory turkeys, sweet pies, and other beloved sides that have been associated with this holiday over the years. With all the delicious dishes on the table aside most people would agree that this holiday is about more than the food.

It’s really all about gratitude, as the first celebrants of this day believed.

As members of the LGBT community, we often choose our own “families” comprised of those who love and support us. When the family gets together for a special holiday like Thanksgiving, there is often a blessing, special grace, or kind words spoken before the meal begins. But since giving thanks is the focal point of the holiday, why not add another tradition or two that focuses on gratitude, a tradition that may become as special and anticipated as the pumpkin pie?

This year, I am committing to add a component to my family celebration which includes a Thanksgiving “show and tell.” While this may sound silly, I think it’s important to adopt new ways to show gratitude this year. Our new tradition starts by asking everyone to bring along something that reflects what they are thankful for this year. Then each person, in turn, can share it with the group and tell their story.

Pondering on our guest list of attendees, I can only imagine how the new tradition will go. I expect that we have a full array of items, photos, songs, or any other trinket which they wish to share. I am not going to be extremely specific on what needs to take place during “show and tell” but rather, the focus will be on each person being “seen” and appreciated for the thing they are particularly grateful.

Gratitude is an interesting thing. A key part of the experience, which is often overlooked, is taking time to appreciate the things which inspire others. Each of

us has different reasons for being grateful, but it’s the genuine understanding of others which makes the sharing of gratitude such a unique and rewarding experience.

There are a variety of ways your Thanksgiving gathering can build on the thankful tradition of the feast. I understand a “show and tell” may not be the

Online and at over 350 locations across the Wasatch Front

best solution in all circumstances, so I urge you to think about your chosen “family” and what fits you. Find something which uniquely allows you to show your gratitude and reflect your unique situation. Regardless of how you decide to celebrate, it is most important to just remember to give thanks! Q

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 305 | October 17, 2019

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of flying the friendly skies

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to the airport is fraught with danger

and excitement.

Last week the Salt Lake Men’s Choir, of which I am a member, went to “The Happiest Place on Earth.” Believe it or not the men’s choir lets me be a member, despite the breasticles. They did have reservations about letting me in at first, but after they discovered that my breasticles can double as acoustic baffles in an otherwise lessthan-stellar performance venue, they let me stay. They do however keep moving me around the room, to channel the bouncing sound waves.

Our flight leaving Salt Lake was at 6:45 a.m., so I planned on arriving at the airport at 4:30 a.m. so I could make it through security on time. Holy Hell, that’s before First Breakfast. How gawd awful! I always pray for an understanding security team so I have time for Second Breakfast before boarding. For some weird reason I don’t comprehend, I have trouble making it through security. You’d think they somehow suspect that my breasticles are dangerous weapons. Now I must admit that I do have a pair of interchangeable nipples/ handguns, but I’m not crazy enough to shoot off my boobies at the airport. I left my guns safely at home in my underwear drawer. Besides, I think they are so clogged with glitter they wouldn’t function.

Of course, security put me through that scanner where they can see you naked.

I’m sure that was such a thrill for them.

7pm, Nov. 15 First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

I noticed that two of the men laughed; however, one of the women guards fainted.

I can’t imagine why. It beeped. They pulled me out of line and asked me to step aside to be wanded. Well short of little Wingardiam Leviosa action, I’ve never been wanded before. I guess this was a day for new experiences. Well, apparently the aging guy with the wand and his shaking hand didn’t flick and swish his wand properly because it beeped.

I was then asked to step aside for a patdown inspection. There was a little debate among the security staff as to whether a man or a woman should conduct the inspection. I noticed that they were pushing each other towards me as if they were afraid. Luckily for me, a most handsome tanned and toned twenty-something dude in a snug-fitting uniform appeared to lose the contest. I got just a little excited. He hesitantly approached me, and I noticed there were some serious muscles underneath his bulletproof vest. He stood there staring for a few moments, as if hypnotized by the sparkling breasticles, glinting in the light.

His name badge read Tad. Oh, how sweet. Tad gingerly raised his arm above my left breasticle, and I readily noticed that this precious boy must work out because he had guns of steel stretching against his straining shirt sleeves. Oh, My! The exceedingly handsome Tad ever-so-slowly and delicately traversed my mountainous heaving breasticles, with his big, strong, and eminently curious hands, which by the way, I noticed were not encumbered by a wedding ring. I became a little light-headed. It was apparent that Tad needed to perform an even deeper inspection. He embarrassingly smiled at me at which point I swear I saw the glint in his gleaming white teeth as if they were diamonds and asked me if he could put his hand inside my shirt. Who am I to resist Tad from putting his hands down my torso to feel for any signs of potential danger.

Who knew that a TSA inspection could double as a massage?

It came time for Tad to inspect my

“southern regions.” I detected a slight hesitation, and he drew in a deep breath.

Somewhere around my Southern Hemisphere, his arm fully enveloped and stubbornly lodged in the Grand Canyon of my Buttockus Rotundus. After Tad tugged rather strongly several times and failed to dislodge his arm, I offered to “vent some plasma” to create a little momentum, but he declined the offer. Rather he braced his feet firmly against my swollen ankles and pulled with all his might. To my chagrin, there was a loud pop, and Tad went flying across the room. I was glad Tad was uninjured but also sad he was finished with me. Tasers and nightsticks and guns, Oh, My! I did get my second breakfast from Wendy’s of all places before it was time to board the plane.

As I waddled onto the plane and made my way down the aisle, I noticed that everyone averted their eyes, a sure sign they hoped not to have me as a seat-mate.

Finally, I found an empty seat and parked my behemoth behind. I reached for my seat belt and attempted to fasten it.

Horror of horrors, more terrible than an engine failure over the ocean, or a broken fingernail, I required a seat belt extender. I SHALL NEVER FLY AGAIN!

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. When security put me through the naked X-ray machine, were they just in need of visual aid to study manatee physiology?

2. Are gym bunnies jealous of my breasticle guns which I don’t even have to lift weights to have?

3. Is Tad short for tadpole, and is that one of the Bear designations for a wannabe twink?

4. Was Tad staring at me because he was hypnotized or because he was paralyzed by fear?

5. Was Tad afraid of me because of my breasticles or because I missed my beauty sleep?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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