QSaltLake Magazine - Issue 328 - October, 2021

OCTOBER, 2021 VOL. 18 • ISSUE 328 QSALTLAKE.COM

Thelma Houston ‘coming out’ to SLC for Utah Pride Center ROADY RALLY RETURNS • POLITICIANS ATTACK LGBTQ • BYU CHALK ART DESTROYER NO LONGER A STUDENT

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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

Sainthood for Victim #1 First responders run towards danger. That goes for their chaplains. Father Mychal Judge, a Roman Catholic

chaplain with the New York City Fire Department, died along with about 3,000 people in the September 11, 2001, terror attacks. Judge became known as “Victim #1” because he was the first recorded death after the attack. Now, New Ways Ministry, a national Catholic ministry promoting the rights of LGBT people, is working to have him declared a saint. He was struck and killed by falling debris in the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Judge had spent 40 years as chaplain to the NYPD and NYFD as well as often working with LGBT groups. In 1989 he founded one of the first Catholic

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HIV ministries that visited hospitalized patients and their families. He joined the city’s fire department in 1992. The Vatican contacted New Ways about canonization for Father Judge for his “good works.”

“Mychal Judge shows us that you can be gay and holy,” says James Martin, a Jesuit priest who advocates for LGBT inclusion in the church.

HRC fires its president in Cuomo scandal The recently hired Human Rights Campaign president, Alphonso David, has been fired due to his involvement with resigned New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo. He was a chief legal counsel for the governor and was implicated by the New York Attorney General’s report on sexual harassment by the governor.

The report alleged David was involved in covering up Cuomo’s misdeeds. HRC’s statement said David had not been truthful with the organization, “At HRC, we are fighting to bring full equality and liberation to LGBTQ+ People everywhere. That includes fighting on behalf of all victims of sexual harassment and assault.” David called the firing unjust, “As a Black, gay man who has spent his whole life fighting for civil and human rights, they cannot shut me up.”

Twins for Mayor Pete and Chasten The most non-threatening gay couple in history — U. S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg and husband Chasten Buttigieg — announced they adopted twins. The twins, named Penelope Rose and Joseph August Buttigieg, were revealed as “girl and boy” but no pronouns were specified. Buttigieg is the former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and was a 2020 presidential candidate. He is the first openly gay cabinet secretary confirmed by the Senate and is now an influential member of the Washington establishment. Chasten Buttigieg is an author and educator. officials that he “was going to teach their child to be gay.” The school district and Missouri anti-discrimination policies do not include sexual orientation, so the Superintendent of Schools sent him a letter telling him not to show “his status” and included a list of other prohibitions.

After refusing to sign, teacher John Wallis resigned and filed a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights.

Don’t Show Me state

Green Power Ranger is lesbian

A speech and drama teacher in Missouri resigned after refusing to sign a letter stating that he would not tell students that he’s gay. He was hired for the 2021/22 term in St Louis, his first job after graduating from college. He put up a sign that said, “In this classroom, everyone is welcome” and had a rainbow flag on his bookshelf. Some parents saw the flag and complained to school

During Disney’s Sentai-based Power Rangers 28th season, titled ”Dino Fury’”, the first Ranger who is unabashedly an LGBT person was introduced. It’s a low-key “outing” showing Green Ranger Izzy Garcia holding her girlfriend’s hand in an upcoming episode.

The episode has already been shown in France. No U.S. air date for the episode has been announced. Fan reaction has

been positive. Some critics say it’s a marketing move, but the producers of the kids’ series, which has extended the brand to costumes, breakfast cereals, toys, games, and trading cards announced on Twitter, “I assure you; it was no marketing ploy.”

What’s Spanish for Smollett?

A gay man in Madrid created a minor media stir when it was revealed he was beaten, taunted for being gay, and the attackers carved, “maricón” (“faggot” in Spanish) on his butt. The alleged hate crime shocked the country and a protest was organized.

Spanish Prime Minister condemned the alleged attack, saying “Hate has no place in our society.” Police were skeptical as there was no physical evidence of the attack other than the butt carving — no security camera footage, no witnesses, and the attack was called in by the man’s

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partner. After further police interviews, he admitted he made it up. The butt carving was done, “at the house of another person with whom I had a sexual relationship.” He said he lied to stay with his current partner. The organization, Movimiento Marika Madrid, went ahead with the protest saying “qué demonios” (what the hell), the numerous anti-LGBTQ hate crimes this year in Spain justified it.

Trolling Grindr for Gov. Newsom Democratic California State Assemblymember Evan Low joined Grindr in an effort to stop the Republican recall of California Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom. On his profile, he wrote, “Hello beautiful! I’m on here to urge you to VOTE NO on the Republican Recall! Governor Gavin Newsom has consistently stood for equality and our LGBTQ community. Now let us all be there for him.” Low represents South Bay and Silicon Valley in the California State Assembly. He is Assistant Majority Whip and chairs the California Assembly Business and Professions Committee. He was sponsor of the law that bans all California state-funded travel to states that enacted laws to discriminate against LGBT individuals. No word if Low got any Grindr action with such a provocative profile.

jurors just four-and-a-half hours to convict the 66-yearold LGBT activist on the nine counts he was facing. Arrested and charged in 2019 with operating a drug house, prosecutors called him a violent sexual predator who preys on men struggling with addiction and homelessness. The two men died in his apartment but there wasn’t enough evidence to charge him with murder.

Ed Buck

Is ‘B’ misunderstood?

maintaining a drug den, distributing methamphetamine, enticement to cross state lines to engage in prostitution, and providing the drugs that led to the deaths of Gemmel Moore and Timothy Dean. It took

New research provides evidence that there are differences in perceptions of female and male bisexuality.

Published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers found that bisexu-

al men were more likely to be viewed as being attracted to men more than women, while bisexual women were thought to be experimenting and equally attracted to men and women. The survey showed heterosexual, lesbian, and gay participants all perceived bisexual men as more attracted to men than to women. Said the lead researcher, Thekla Morgenroth, “I noticed that people often don’t believe that bisexual people are actually bisexual.” Those surveyed said bisexual men haven’t “come out” yet. They also found little evidence for, “erasure of female bisexuality,” indicating female bisexuality is a more accepted status. Q

Gay Democratic donor Ed Buck convicted in deaths Even representation by Christopher Darden, best known for being part of the prosecution team in the murder trial of O.J. Simpson, couldn’t save political Democratic donor Ed Buck from conviction to a series of federal charges brought against him, including

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Mormon ‘Dez-Nat’ Alaska Asst.

Atty General canned for tweets

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The National Coming Out Day Road Rally returns to Main Street Oct. 10 Recent divisive and homophobic comments made by city, state, and religious leaders in Utah, leaders of the Utah Pride Center say, are evidence “we need to show the vulnerable and at-risk LGBTQ+ individuals in our community that they belong. We want to drown out the hate with love and celebration.”

So the organization is bringing back the Utah Pride Road Rally.

The Center will observe National Coming Out Day on Sunday, October 10th, and invites the community to decorate their vehicles, show pride and drag Main.

“Coming out can be one of the hardest things an LGBTQ+ individual can do,” organizers said in a release. “With divisive and homophobic comments coming from some city, state, and religious leaders recently, the Utah Pride Center views them as more evidence that events like the Pride Road Rally are needed to drown out hate with love, kindness and inclusion.”

“We at the Utah Pride Center work to protect and uplift the voices of Utah’s LGBTQ+ community. We hope that our lifesaving work resonates louder to our community members, than the hateful rhetoric shared by individuals who find progress in inclusivity and equity as a threat to their existence.” said Jonathan Foulk, the Center’s chief operating officer. “The Pride Road Rally is an opportunity to show our love and support and tell the broader community that we exist, we are here, and we’re proud of who we are.”

The idea for the Pride Road Rally started last year when COVID-19 forced the Utah Pride Center to cancel its annual Pride Festival and Parade. After witnessing the turnout last year, the Center decided to make the Pride Road Rally an annual event.

Over 2,000 people in their cars, bikes, trucks, and buses showed up on National Coming Out Day in 2020 and organizers expect a larger turnout in 2021. As the pandemic continues to be a health risk, the Center wants to again provide the community with a COVID-safe event.

The event not only allows the commu-

nity to show pride, organizers say, but it also brings in much needed funding to continue the lifesaving services at the Utah Pride Center, including mental health and wellness services, education and training, a safe community space, suicide prevention resources, senior programs and more.

Like last year, partipipants will sign up as teams or individuals on the group’s website at utahpridecenter.org.

How to Road Rally REGISTER as an individual or team.

FUNDRAISE by having friends and family sponsor you on a page you create on the website. Set a goal of $500, $1,000, $2,000, $3,000 or $5,000 and earn a car ribbon once you reach your goal.

DECORATE your car, bike, RV, etc. as fabulous or simpleas you’d like RENDEZVOUS by meeting at one of nine locations across the Wasatch Front on Sunday morning at 11 a.m. You’ll then follow a pace car as it heads to the Rally.

QSaltLake Magazine’s entry in the Road Rally 2020, featuring the Singing RBGs (in honor DRAG MAIN BOTTOM PHOTO BY STEVE CONLIN STREET and be- of Ruth Bader Ginsburg). come the parade as a bike, scooter or motorcycle; $25 as a as you circle the three-mile route for two car; or $50 as an RV, car and trailer, bus, hours. There will be three Pride Spots on etc. Families or friends can also particiMain Street between 800 South and 2000 pate in a “pack” of four to 10 vehicles.

For those who cannot attend, the event South, six drag queen/king stages, seven will be streamed online at no cost. cheer stations, and a drive-thru pit stop For a short video of last year’s event, for photos. see youtu.be/eHVTRM9DM8c Q The Center has a goal to raise $150,000 to help keep the doors open.

For more information and to sign up, go to Registration starts at $15 to participate utahpridecenter.org

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Father: lesbian couple killed in Moab were ‘raped and executed’ This story contains troubling and graphic details about the murder of a lesbian couple in Moab, Utah.

Citing evidence from a recently released search warrant, the father of one of the victims has called for greater effort to find the killer. He made the comments on a Facebook group titled Justice for Kylen and Crystal - Moab, UT. “Kylen [Schulte] and Crystal [Turner] were raped and executed,” Sean-Paul Schulte wrote. “This should raise the bar on this case right? The local, state and Federal units are going to step up their game right?”

The bodies of Kylen Schulte and her wife Crystal Turner were found near a camp they were staying an hour east of Moab. At the time, police made a statement that there was no threat to the public.

“Investigators with the Grand County Sheriff’s Office were dispatched to a campsite near the La Sal Loop Road with a GPS location of 38.507019, -109.341093,” the warrant reads. “When investigators arrived, a blue Kia Sorento, a single camp tent, a makeshift rabbit shelter, and normal amenities for a longterm campsite were observed.”

“In a nearby creek, two female bodies were found.

The bodies were identified as belonging to Crystal Turner

and her wife Kylen Schulte.

Both women were undressed from the waist down. One of the females had on a bra that was raised to expose her breasts while the second female was dressed in only a tank top,” the warrant continued. “Investigators located multiple gunshot wounds on both bodies. The wounds were located on the backs, sides, and/or chests of the victims.”

The warrant noted that Kylen had mentioned to her friends that “if something happened to them, that they were murdered.” They said there was a “creepy man” around their camp and they had been intimidated by him.

The couple was last seen at Woody’s Tavern before their bodies were found.

The sheriff’s office noted that they had the couple’s Kia Sorento in their possession, and were seeking to search a van belonging to the couple that was towed from the Moab McDonalds where Turner worked.

The sheriff’s office announced a local business contractor offered a $10,000 reward in the case that was matched by a second $10,000 reward by a private citizen.

Investigators have not identified a suspect and are awaiting lab test results on evidence, according to police. Q

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PHOTO: CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS NEWSROOM

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‘Faggots go to Hell’ chalk art destroyer no longer a BYU student The man who defaced an LGBTQ-supportive, off-campus sidewalk chalk instillation and said “faggots go to Hell,” is no longer a student at Brigham Young University, school officials said.

The private religious school said in an email to The Salt Lake Tribune that the man was a student previously this semester but, as of this week, is no longer taking classes. BYU spokeswoman Carri Jenkins declined to say whether he dropped out or was expelled.

“Because of federal laws and university privacy guidelines, BYU cannot pro-

vide additional information,” she said.

Officials at the Mormon university in Provo, Utah said the day after a video of the incident surfaced that they would investigate the matter.

“We unequivocally condemn behavior and language that is disrespectful

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and hurtful,” BYU said in a statement.

“There is no place for hateful speech, or prejudice of any kind, on our campus or in our community.”

“The Honor Code explicitly states that each member of the BYU community has the obligation to respect others,” the statement continued. “The incident seen in a video circulating on social media is now under review.”

“We are striving to create a community of belonging composed of students, faculty and staff whose hearts are knit together in love. Every student and in-

dividual on our campus deserves to feel that belonging,” the school added.

In the viral video, a man appears to rinse off large chalk drawings on the ground, which consisted of several messages in support of the school’s LGBTQ community.

It followed a speech by former BYU president and church elder Jeffrey R. Holland, who earlier in the week declared his love “for those who live with this same-sex challenge,” but added that “we have to be careful that love and empathy do not get interpreted as

condoning and advocacy.”

The speech angered the school’s LGBTQ community and allies. Former students organized an event where people gathered on a sidewalk across from the campus to create LGBTQ-positive messages on the pavement in the form of chalk art.

On a Reddit post, titled “Ran into this asshat on BYU campus tonight after LGBTQ+ supporters drew loving chalk art on the sidewalk,” Provo videographer Amber Sorensen said she saw a man walking around one of the drawings, attempting “to rinse off a big rainbow drawing and a rainbow-colored Y on the sidewalk by the intersection.”

She started filming filming and a man nearby said to him, “I hope you feel a little less homophobic.” The defacer looked at the camera and said, “No, uh, faggots go to hell” before running away from the scene.

Social media readers quickly found his name, where he was from and what school within the University he is attending, and notified the BYU Honor Code office. Q

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Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber to host a ‘Shark Tank-like’ event Sept. 23 The Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce is hosting a “shark tank” to dive into different facets of business and self discovery in the 3rd annual Economic Summit — “Lead OUT Loud.” They will bring together powerful, well known speakers to educate and vitalize Utah’s LGBTQ+ and allied business owners to help their businesses thrive.

Registration and open networking begins Sept. 23 at 9:30 a.m. Then, grab a seat, your coffee/beverage and a new friend as they will start promptly at 10 a.m. A catered lunch will be served at noon and sessions will end at 4 p.m.

A happy hour party/ networking event on the patio of the Living Planet Aquarium will take place afterwards, with entertainment, light appetizers, and a cash bar.

Whether you are an aspiring business owner, new business owner, or have been in business 50+years, organizers promise there will be a nugget or two for you.

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Noon Lunch 1 pm SARA DAY, SHE|HER, Utah Microloan Fund — Small Business Lending 1:40pm JASON OLSEN, HE|HIM, Growing & Franchising Your Business 2pm MATTHEW LANDIS, HE|HIM, Queer Gifts & Strengths: Using Them with Purpose 2:30 pm Break: Get Up and Move!

3pm WILLIAM MARKS, HE|HIM, Facebook’s Present & Future in Utah 3:50pm Recap 4–6:30pm Open networking, appetizers, cash bar & DJ PAULY HE|HIM Exhibitor hall will be open during breaks. Q Details at info@utahlgbtqchamber.org

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Obituary: Renee Rinaldi DEC. 6, 1963 — AUG. 21, 2021 Renee Kathleen Rinaldi passed away unexpectedly on Tuesday, August 31, 2021.

She was born on Dec 6, 1963, in State College, Pa. Her spouse, Penny Peterson, could never remember the correct name and always called it “College Town,” which Renee thought was hilarious! Renee was the youngest of 5 children born to Richard and Verda Rinaldi. Verda called her “Renee Baby,” which over the years morphed into “Nibby Bon Bibby,” a term of endearment her mom always used when leaving a message.

Renee traveled the world with her family while her father was in the military. A vivid memory of her time living in Germany was when St Nicholas and Krampus would come visiting on Christmas Eve, always fearful she would end up in the bag for “naughty children.” Renee was afraid of thunderstorms as a child, and to help her stay calm would hold onto sister Rachael’s hair and sing, “Who’s afraid of thunder, thunder’s just a lot of noise, who’s afraid of thunder, like the noise we make with toys, when the thunder comes with a boom boom boom, we get out our drums, and we room toom toom.” Even as an adult, she would sing this during a storm, and the kids, and Penny, would always laugh and join in.

Renee and her family ended up in Colorado Springs, CO. She graduated from Doherty High School in 1982 and went on to BYU, where she graduated in 1986. Renee received her Master of Photography degree from Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara. She was quite surprised when, years later, BYU called and said, “you are only ½ a PE credit away from graduating,” as she thought she had graduated in 1986! Renee had taken a bowling class at BYU and was never able to break 100, even after multiple failed attempts, which kept her from completing the class and graduating. Shortly after finding out that she had not actually graduated from BYU, her diploma came in the mail, as BYU had forgiven the ½

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basement where it still sits today”! credit. She and Penny often laughed that In 2006 Renee and Penny decided to she received her master’s degree in 1986 start a family. They were so excited when and her bachelor’s degree in 2003.

Renee lived in San Francisco for a their oldest son, Carter, was born in Salt year after BYU and always expressed Lake City in October 2006. Renee and fond memories of friends she met while Penny adopted Carter shortly after he was living there. She often admits she wasn’t born. They soon welcomed their second prepared for how cold it was in the city child, a daughter named Berkeley. Berkeand had to buy numerous coats at a thrift ley was born in Washington State in April store the first week there!

2008. Renee and Penny traveled to WashRenee Rinaldi, center in glasses holding ington State to complete the adoption the Queer Nation banner. Photo: Connell but were unable to return to Utah until O’Donovan the adoption was complete. They called While getting her master’s degree, she on their friends Trude and Jane in the Bay lived for a time with her oldest sister, Area, who let the four of them, plus two Susan, building a strong bond with Susan dogs, live in their basement for 30 days, during this time. They loved to sing forever grateful for their friends’ kindtogether, and both have beautiful voices. ness. Once the adoption was complete, Renee’s parents moved to Salt Lake, and and they were driving home from Seattle, Renee eventually followed. She ran the they looked at each other and said, “if we Utah Stonewall Center and became an acsurvived this, we can survive anything!” tivist with Queer Nation Utah along with They were so excited when California friends Connell O’Donovan and Tony Palmer.

Renee was always a strong advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and made lifelong friends all along the way. Renee and Penny met briefly for the first time at a friend’s party and then again Renee Rinaldi, center in sunglasses, with Queer Nation at the Utah Pride March in 1992. years later at a legalized marriage in 2013. They traveled Starz Game where Penny sensed Renee to California with Carter and Berkeley was going to be someone important in to be legally married. They were married her life. Renee and Penny became life at sunset, surrounded by many dear and partners in 2002 after Renee asked Penny close friends, on the balcony of Trude to give her “violin lessons,” which became and Jane’s home that overlooks the San a running joke with all their friends.

Francisco Bay. Renee spent hours perfectIt’s interesting to note that Renee’s and ing the details of their wedding, which Penny’s parents already knew each other culminated in a wonderful celebration of because they sat next to each other at their love. Having children brought such BYU football games and lived in the same joy into their lives. Renee was a wonderful Stake. Renee was working for eBay when mother and gave the kids many opporshe and Penny met, which allowed them tunities due to her love of adventure. to build their beautiful home that they She enjoyed planning awesome themed called “the house that eBay built” because birthday parties with beautiful cakes to Renee cashed out her stock to buy it. match. Renee loved to cook and throw Renee handled the build and made every parties and would spend weeks planning decorating decision as she is incredibly creative and artistic. She filled their which she enjoyed as much as the actual home with beautiful art and, according to party! Renee loved to travel and, as a Penny, “put everything I own down in the Study Coordinator at the University of

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Utah, was required to attend numerous conferences. Penny often tagged along, and one of their most memorable trips was to Vienna, Austria. Their funniest trip was to New York City right after Hurricane Sandy in 2012. Their hotel reservation got lost, and they ended up in a basement room of the “Bates Hotel,” where there was a bloody handprint on the wall in the bathroom.

They didn’t sleep a wink that night and were happy to get out of there alive but couldn’t stop laughing about it later.

They returned to New York City in 2015 on a “sister trip” with Rachael and Susan. It rained the entire time but they had a blast eating bagels, riding the “Hop on Hop off bus,” and going to numerous plays, which was one of Renee’s favorite things. She always had the Broadway Channel dialed in on SiriusXM radio in her car. She loved going to the movies and getting popcorn and M&M’s. She never passed up the opportunity to watch “A Few Good Men” or “Apollo 13” if she came upon them while channel surfing and was also a rabid West Wing fan.

Renee loved her family, including nieces and nephews.

She thoughtfully gave them gifts each Christmas and was especially close to her sister Rachael and always enjoyed the time they spent together.

Renee and Penny were lucky to live close to Renee’s parents, who provide love and support for Carter and Berkeley, which was especially helpful as Renee’s health deteriorated.

Renee was always thinking of others and loved doing “good deeds” by buying gloves and hats for the homeless. She also spent her birthday each year taking the kids to buy gifts for needy children. Renee’s example prompted Berkeley to announce one year she was giving all her Christmas gifts to Sub for Santa.

Renee was plagued with health problems the last few years of her life. She handled all of it with grace and dignity, even when she lost her ability to walk or write, which was especially hard for her as she had the most beautiful penmanship. Renee was diagnosed with kidney failure in January 2021 and started dialysis two months ago. Dialysis gave Renee a renewed strength and optimism as she found the ability to participate in activities she had missed out on but sadly died on August 31, 2021, during a dialysis treatment.

Renee filled their home with love, warmth, compassion, creativity, humor, and art.

Penny is so thankful that Renee was in her life for almost 20 years, and her passing has left a hole in our hearts but also a lifetime of wonderful memories.

Renee leaves behind her wife of 19 years, Penny Peterson, children Carter and Berkeley, cats Skylander and Poppy, new Corgi pups Zuko and Azula, parents Richard and Verda Rinaldi — Riverton, Utah, siblings Susan Weldon — Oahu, Hawaii, Rick (Jaime) — San Diego, California, Ron — Riverton, Utah, and Rachael (Brett) — Lehi, Utah. In-laws Eddie and Win Peterson — SLC, Utah, siblings-in-law Patti (John) — Cary, NC, Gary (Lisa) — Sandy, Utah, Mike (Shelley) — Highland, Utah.

Renee is preceded in death by her grandparents Henry and Dorothy Darnell and George and Jesusita Rinaldi.

We all adored Renee. Please join us for an open house and celebration of her life on Friday, September 10, 2021, from 6:–8 p.m. The open house will be held at 9245 Quail Run Drive, Sandy, UT, in the gazebo behind the church. In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Road Home, the Pride Center, or a charity of your choosing. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

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quotes “Being able to compete with the best in the world as my most authentic self at the biggest international multisport games shows how far we’ve come on inclusion in sport. I’m hoping that by competing at these Games I can show the LGBTQ community that we do belong and we can achieve anything we put our minds to.”

—Canadian swimmer Markus Thormeyer to Outsports

“Growing up in a small French town in Quebec, I didn’t know or even know of a single LGBTQ person or athlete until I was older ... I hope the increased visibility can give young people a sentiment of belonging and encourage communities to be inclusive and welcoming.”

— Elissa Alarie, Canadian rugby player

“I feel incredibly proud to say that I am a gay man and also an Olympic champion ... When I was younger I didn’t think I’d ever achieve anything because of who I was. To be an Olympic champion now just shows that you can achieve anything.”.”

— British diver Tom Daley

“I represent Poland and I wish for the equal rights” — Polish Olympian Aleksandra who went to the opening ceremony with rainbow accents on her mask

OCTOBER, 2021 |

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Issue 328 | Qsaltlake.com

A kitty’s tale

The first

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

(and to my knowledge only) photo my mom has ever taken with her phone was of her cat, Sophie. You may remember Mom’s kitty from my 2019 column Sophie, The Homophobic Cat. She’s the one that hisses at me … over the phone.

For all of Sophie’s less agreeable attributes, I’m glad my mom has her. Hardly a day goes by that I’m not regaled with the antics of the cat. More importantly, Sophie may be adding years to my mom’s already long life. A 2009 study in the Journal of Vascular and Interventional Neurology declared that having a cat reduced deaths from cardiovascular disease by lowering blood pressure and reducing stress.

Having a dog has also been scientifically proven to lengthen your life. A 2019 study published in Circulation: Cardiovascular Quality and Outcomes concluded that dogs decrease your risk of death over the long term by lowering blood pressure, improving lipid profiles, and easing stress.

But adults aren’t the only ones who benefit from having a pet. I think it’s important for kids to have one growing up if it’s at all feasible. It teaches responsibility, compassion, and respect. Pets can even boost a kid’s self-esteem.

That pet-inspired self-esteem is especially important for LGBTQ+ kids. In his doctoral dissertation, Dr. Jeffrey Jin, MSW, DSW of the University of Pennsylvania presented research that showed in a world where queer kids are isolated and rejected by family and friends, pets offer unconditional love and companionship. Fido doesn’t care which team you play for.

Maybe that’s why LGBTQ+ adults are more likely to have pets than are straight people. According to LGBTQ information network Queer Café, a full 70 percent of gay adults have pets compared to 60 percent of straight people.

An interesting trend is also emerging: a growing movement for gay people and

LGBTQ+ families to adopt their pets from the pound.

The reason? Empathy.

Since LGBTQ+ people understand what it feels like to be treated as an outsider, be abandoned by family, and even neglected, we apparently want to help others who may be suffering from the same trauma. What better way to give and receive unconditional love and mend a broken past than to rescue our pets from the pound? Both our dog and cat came from the pound.

Ten years ago, when we brought Athena Cat home, we had no idea what her life had been like before us. We knew her previous humans had moved, leaving her behind, and she was stingy with affection, preferring to be left alone.

But that all changed a year later. On a routine visit to the vet, she managed to slip out of her carrier, dart across six lanes of traffic, and disappear. We searched high and low for more than two weeks but to no avail. Then on the night of the

first snowfall of the season, a woman called: she’d found Athena seeking shelter on her porch. Even though it was well past the boys’ bedtime, we zoomed to her house a short five blocks away. When Athena saw me, she literally leaped into my arms.

Maybe I’m projecting, but I think she was holding back on becoming too attached to us as a way to protect herself from repeating what had happened with her previous humans. Coming back for her proved we were worthy of her love.

Ever since that fateful night, she’s been the most affectionate and loving cat you’ll ever meet. And on cold and snowy winter nights, she sleeps with Kelly and me, a paw always outstretched to touch some part of my body, maybe making sure I’m still there. Q

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creep of the month

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Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

Shane Vaughn

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

There are

two things I need to say right up front. One, getting a COVID-19 vaccine is a safe and effective way to prevent yourself and others from getting really sick and possibly dying. Two, no good conversation ever starts with, “I’m going to tell you what God told me to tell you.”

But that’s how right-wing extremist pastor Shane Vaughn began his diatribe of vaccine misinformation on his First Harvest Ministries broadcast on Aug. 27.

“I’m going to tell you what God told me to tell you,” Vaughn says, sitting in front of a bookshelf displaying a framed “1776” placard next to a wedding photo.

To his left is a print of “The Prayer at Valley Forge” — you know, the painting of George Washington kneeling in the snow by a horse. Trust me, you’ve seen it.

“The Prayer at Valley Forge” by H. Brueckner. Credit: Library of Congress.

“If you’re one of those that’s trusting in anything besides God,” Vaughn says, “let me tell you something. They’ve got variants coming that ain’t no vaccine going to work for. This nation is under the judgment of God. And I want to tell you something right now: They’re already

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admitting that the vaccine is alarmingly not working. Alarmingly! They’re alarmed at what they’re seeing.”

OK, that’s a lot to unpack.

Let’s start with his claim about COVID-19 variants for which there are no vaccines. That sounds scary! Because it is! Is it true, though? Well, yes and no.

Vaughn has no idea what he’s talking about — he just wants people to be afraid. And in a pandemic, there is definitely an amount of fear that’s healthy to have, and ideally, that fear would help to motivate you to make good choices to keep you and your family safe, including getting vaccinated.

Unfortunately, anti-vaxers and rightwing extremists who think that mass death is a great way to own the libs (which, by the way, includes the entire Republican party at this point) continue to push misinformation about vaccines in order to drive vaccination rates down.

So, while Vaughn wants you to think that God is going to send new deadly variants to smite you, we can actually blame vaccine deniers, refusers, and liars. It’s when not enough people are vaccinated that a virus can run wild and free and become more contagious and deadly.

Vaughn also claims that the vaccines we already have aren’t working, which is not true. We’ve got safe and effective vaccines. The delta variant is bad news, for sure, and vaccinated people can still get sick. But the majority of people who are being hospitalized and dying are people who are not vaccinated. Overwhelmingly.

As Andy Slavitt, a health care advisor in the Biden Administration put it, the vaccine isn’t like sunscreen, blocking the virus from getting into your body. The vaccine works from inside your body to fight the virus should you get exposed.

Anyway, you might be wondering why Vaughn thinks God is wreaking so much havoc.

“Do you know why?” he asks. “Because America, you’re making a huge mistake.”

That huge mistake is trusting science over God, apparently. He quotes the Bible to argue that asking anyone for help other than God is NOT OKAY. “Why do you need their help when I am the Lord your God, hallelujah?!” God hypothetically asks us. “When I alone give you life or call for you to die?”

Vaughn makes God sound like a violently abusive boyfriend.

“They have nothing that’s gonna help my judgment that is coming upon this nation. The only help for the child of God in this hour is the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ,” Vaughn continues. “You better learn that, and you better learn it fast, or you’re gonna chase vaccines until there ain’t no vaccines left. I don’t care if you got one. Go for it. God bless you if that’s your choice. But I’m telling you if that’s where your faith is, you’re going to be in for a big disappointment.”

And now, for the big reveal. The reason why God is so mad at us. You already know what it is.

“These vaccines are gonna quit working on every corner until this nation falls to her knees and repents for dead babies and repents for the sodomy of this nation!” he yells.

It’s so weird that Christian extremists think that science is anti-God. Like, why not look at science as the work of God through really smart humans? You can literally have your God and your vaccine, too.

And if you really want to blame it all on gays, fine. We’re used to it. But while you’re yelling about the homosexual COVID agenda, get the damn shot to cover your bases. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living with her wife and son.

She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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sex and salt lake city

A collective, global grief

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

The threat

of abortion being completely overturned. Climate change. Fires. Flooding. Covid surges. Race inequalities. Food insecurities. Home shortages. Homelessness. Skyrocketing inflation. Refugees in turmoil. Overworked and underpaid.

Isolation. Loneliness.

you can and come back to the present with the knowledge that there are some things we just cannot control. Deep breaths in, to the count of five, and then out to the count of 5, repeated several times may seem rudimentary, but are highly effective in calming our senses and bringing us to the present.

The list goes on and on and on. Gauging from the conversations I’m having with clients, the collective depression, anxiety, and trauma we’re experiencing is real. We are grieving — a collective grief.

A global grief. Our human coping mechanism is to keep looking forward in the hopes this will all pass and get better. And at the same time, over the past couple of years, most have experienced a level of things just getting harder. If you feel fatigued by it all — you’re not alone.

The grief we’re facing today is both from a loss of life pre-covid and an anticipatory grief. With so much unexpected that has altered our lives in such a short time … we become anxious about what could be next. It would be helpful to muddle through this if the stages of grief actually followed one another in order.

But unfortunately, they do not — especially when there are so many things to tackle and grieve at once.

SEEK SUPPORT. One of the best things to come out of these past couple of years has been the number of support groups that recognize just how much so many of us are struggling. I’ve had a couple of clients fear that sharing their level of grief or depression with others would make them feel worse, many times to discover the opposite is true. Joining with other people who are also struggling through this time can be validating and freeing.

Recognizing you’re not alone is powerful.

Support groups can be found through local Pride Centers as well as by looking under the search bar on both FaceBook and MeetUp.

DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, SADNESS, ACCEPTANCE — We can experience each of these stages at different times for the various things listed at the beginning of this article — as well as others. So what the hell are we supposed to do about all this grief without feeling hopeless?

COME BACK TO THE PRESENT. It’s easy to future fear and allow our thoughts to run amuck with “what if” scenarios. Mind you, these fears are very valid, and not knowing what the future holds can be really scary. But planning and preparing are possible to do while at the same time letting go of its hold on you. Plan what

HAVE COMPASSION — not just for others, but yourself as well. Times are hard.

We are facing things that no generation before us has. It can be confusing and displacing and overwhelming. Many times we find it easier to hear other people out about their hardships, offer an ear, a shoulder, some comfort. But then when it comes to ourselves we tend to get impatient and engage in negative self-talk.

The you that inhabits your body is just as valuable and deserving of compassion, comfort, and care as all the individuals living outside your body. Too often we navigate the world by making room for others and making ourselves smaller.

Stop that. It’s okay to ask for what you need. We are each our own best advocate.

Sometimes self-care looks like getting outside and taking a walk with a friend.

Sometimes self-care looks like a hot bath and a bowl of ice cream. Whatever you choose to do, be kind to yourself in the process.

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TAKE ACTION. If there is something that is really calling to you and you want to see changes, consider joining with others who are taking action. Part of grief is the feeling of defeat. That defeat is oftentimes lessened when we feel we’re making an effort to be a part of the change we want to see. However, when doing this it’s sometimes easy to get caught up in more negative self-talk and believe that whatever you’re doing isn’t enough or isn’t as good as what someone else is doing. Know that whatever good you’re doing has a positive effect on the world around you — whether directly or indirectly. No kindness and action are too small.

WHAT IF. Lastly, recognize that sometimes “what if” can mean … “What if everything turns out okay?” “What if — I am okay?” Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a clinical sexologist who divides her time between Salt Lake City and Palm Springs, Calif.

She can be reached at DrLaurieBennettCook@gmail.com

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SOME OTHER INTERESTING COMPARISONS:

issue To many LGBTQ people, our pets ARE our kids — even those who have kids.

Each year we take an issue to celebrate our fuzzy/feathery/scaley friends.

Do lesbians really love cats?

According to the 2018 Autostraddle Lesbian Stereotypes Survey in part answered the questin “is it true that lesbians love cats?”

It turns out, it’s … mostly true. Despite 26 percent of Europeans and 12 percent of Americans being allergic to cats, queer women and non-binary people continue obtaining, raising, and loving cats with absolute abandon, at relatively significant rates. Conversely, despite the general excellence exhibited by dogs throughout human history and the superiority embodied by my dog Carol specifically, queer women and non-binary people are not more likely to own dogs than your average everyday heterosexual Jo. (jk there are no heterosexual Jos).

OVERALL PET OWNERSHIP Before we get too deep into this important news, let us first declare that we are

also a little bit more likely to own pets in general. 68.6 percent of U.S. residents on our survey said they own at least one pet, compared to 62 percent of all Americans (according to a 2015 Harris Poll that surveyed 2,205 U.S. adults), but it’s worth noting that our survey group skews young, which is not an inherent characteristic of a queer group, and young people are apparently more likely to own pets.

65 percent of millennials own pets, according to that same Harris Poll, whereas 66 percent of our 18-to-34 group does. They found 71 percent of Gen X-ers owning pets, compared to 76 percent of our 35-to-44-year-olds. So age did indeed give us an edge, but we’re still doing a lot of the heavy lifting ourselves. However, most of our lift takes place in the realm of… cats.

We’re Switching It Up On Crossover Ownership: In the Autostraddle survey, 30 percent of U.S. cat owners have dogs, and 37 percent of dog owners also have cats. In the Harris poll, 49 percent of cat owners have dogs and 34 percent of dog owners also have a cat.

More Kids = More Pets: In the Harris poll, 73 percent of Americans with kids in their household had at least one pet, compared to 57 percent of those without.

On ours, 79 percent of kid-households had at least one pet — and so do 67.6 percent of those without. So, childless queer folks are significantly more likely than childless straights to have pets.

In fact, a full 71 percent of survey-takers who don’t want to ever have kids have pets, because who needs babies when you have fur babies?

People in relationships are more likely to have pets than those who aren’t — 48 percent have cats and 37 percent have dogs, compared to 37 percent of single people with cats and 31 percent with dogs. Once you get married, you commit to pets, too: 53 percent with cats, and 48 percent with dogs.

Residents of rural areas were most likely to have pets (84 percent), followed by suburbanites (75 percent) and city-dwellers (64 percent).

Only 26 percent of our city-dwellers have dogs, and 38 percent have cats; com-

This is Ginger and her granddaughter Reylee with their sweet puppy Nala, a 13-week-old toy poddle. She loves to play and she moves all around while sleeping.

This is Milo, a chihuahua/miniature poodle Douglas Cartier adopted from a friend who runs an adoption place and he had come from a kill shelter in LA. He was in an abusive situation here in Utah and then got struck by a car. “He is a wonder dog and my everything!”

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pared to 51 percent of those in rural areas with dogs and 57 percent with cats.

The only cities where dog-owners outnumbered cat owners were all in warm climates: Los Angeles, Dallas/Ft.Worth, Atlanta, Phoenix, Miami, San Diego and Austin.

YES, CATS? This survey’s cat-ownership numbers were a little higher than what we’ve seen in prior surveys. Our 2016 Autostraddle Reader Survey showed 37 percent of all respondents and 40 percent of all U.S. residents admitting to cat ownership, but that number has crept forward over the last two years. This may be because a queer woman in possession of a cat is exactly the type of person who would want to take a survey about lesbian stereotypes, or perhaps everybody went out and bought a cat in 2017 because they needed something to hold onto while democracy dies.

Still, even those old numbers are at least slightly higher than overall numbers

of cat ownership, regardless of which survey you compare ours to — and there are plenty to choose from!

Now, let’s venture into new lands.

CATS OF THE COMMONWEALTH We had enough survey-takers in the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada to look at their numbers, too. And the preference for cats over dogs gets even more dramatic outside of the U.S., as does our apparent indifference towards fish and birds: Apparently in these three countries, the preference for dogs over cats amongst all humans is not quite as dramatic as it is in the U.S..

Autostraddle’s very high cats vs. dogs numbers in Canada specifically might be due to 76 percent of our Canadian survey-takers living in urban areas (compared to 62-63 percent of others), where it can be easier to own a cat than a dog.

Four times as many Montreal residents, for example, own cats rather than dogs.

On a related note, Montreal is a lovely

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city and also the coldest place I have ever been, and also there are apparently just a lot of cats in Canada.

But… why are queer women and non-binary people at least slightly more likely to own cats than the population-at-large? The obvious answer is: because women are more likely to own cats than men, and our group is mostly women. I mean, that’s what pop culture has told me. Hell, Shutterstock’s got 426 pictures of women with cats, but only 96 for men.

Well, my friends: it’s all a lie.

THE PATRIARCHY ALSO LOVES CATS If you search “how many men own cats” you’ll get a lot of articles like “8 Reasons You Should Consider Dating A Guy Who Owns A Cat” and “Is it Usual for Straight Men to Own Cats?,” but despite this apparent cultural unease, men are living with cats like there’s no tomorrow.

In 2001, a Gallup poll declared “the stereotype of older women loving cats — and lots of them — is not supported

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by the Gallup results.” They found older men just as likely as older women to own cats, and “little difference” between these two genders for cat or dog ownership across age groups.

The 2016 gfK survey found 40 percent of men and 38 percent of women in the U.S. owning cats. Last year, multiple news outlets in the U.K. reported that more than two-thirds of cat owners are men.

Mintel Research, in the U.S., also found that men were more likely than women to have a cat, with a whopping 46 percent of millennial men owning cats. In 2008, The New York Times wrote a trend piece about busy working men who found cats to be the perfect furry companion for their lifestyles, declaring the rise of “a growing number of single — and yes, heterosexual — men who seem to be coming out of the cat closet and unabashedly embracing their feline side.” In 2016, an Australian newspaper hailed “the rise of the cat man.” I missed all of these articles because I don’t care about men, but there’s so many more where those came from.

So, it’s not our gender that makes our

group more likely to own cats than the population-at-large. I can only conclude that it is a worldwide conspiracy against me, but I am open to theories from cat-lovers in the comments.

SOME FUN STATS REGARDING DIFFERENT TYPES OF PET OWNERS This survey got a ton of responses and is teeming with bizarre information, which makes it a virtual playground for irrelevant data collection. I set SurveyMonkey to compare all different types of pet owners, and then went on a terrific jaunt through the rest of the survey to see what their algorithm declared statistically significant.

Before I give you this information, let me be clear: when I say “cat owners are more likely than dog owners to be vegan.”

I don’t mean that most cat owners are vegan! I just mean that the number of cat owners identifying as vegans was declared significantly higher than the number of dog owners identifying as vegans.

SO, HERE WE GO: Cat owners are more likely than dog owners to be vegan (6 percent), identify as hard femme (7.5 percent), be trans (which

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

includes non-binary people) (28 percent), be queer-identified (29.5 percent), have an undercut (20 percent), not remove any body hair (11 percent), have long nails (8.6 percent), use menstrual cups (29 percent), have complete confidence in their sewing abilities (48 percent), read their horoscopes regularly (23.4 percent), be an unaffiliated atheist (25 percent), do at least some witchcraft (23 percent), have gone to a women’s college (7 percent) and to prefer non-monogamy (22.4 percent). Cat owners are more likely than dog owners to live in the city.

Dog owners are more likely than cat owners to be tomboys (21 percent), be married (24 percent), have children (12 percent), identify as lesbians (45 percent), prefer monogamy (68 percent), shave their legs (68 percent), have complete confidence in their stick-shift driving abilities (27 percent), be Catholic (3.6 percent), be a Pisces (9 percent), be sports fans (35 percent), play sports (the only sport where cat-owners outnumber dog-owners is roller derby), have been hunting or fishing within the past year (12 percent) and been camping overnight

Colton Craig Jones and his pup, which is of course named Versace.

Colton says a world without dogs would not be a world at all.

Ann Clark with Jack who, according to his DNA is part chihuahua. They didn’t see that one coming.

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within the past year (42 percent). Dog owners are more likely than cat owners to live in the country.

Other interesting situations include that small mammal owners are the most likely to be vegan or vegetarian and reptile/amphibian owners are the most likely to have ever seen a ghost. Like… by far. 39 percent of reptile/amphibian owners have seen or been in the presence of a ghost — all other pet owners are at around 28 percent-30 percent, and non-pet-owners are at 18.5 percent. I can therefore safely conclude, with the authority vested in me by the fact that it’s too late at night for another editor to edit this post before it’s published in the morning, that ghosts are attracted to reptiles and amphibians as well as animals in general. If you’d like to see a ghost, you should probably buy a lizard.

Unsurprisingly, those who own horses and other farm animals are the handiest around the house by far, as well as the most environmentally conscious and the most likely to be former vegans and vegetarians.

IN CONCLUSION There are a lot of weird narratives around cat ownership for straight people, like the aforementioned concern that only gay men own cats. Then there’s the “crazy cat-lady stereotype,” most strongly associated with not just unmarried women, but undesirable unmarried women, which has thrived for some time. In “The Crazy History of the Cat Lady,” Linda Rodriguez notes that after centuries of cat ownership being associated with witches and widows, followed by several decades of terrifying media depictions on shows like Saturday Night Live and The Simpsons, “Cat ownership by an unmarried woman had come to signify a kind of mutual capitulation of that woman to a society that wouldn’t or couldn’t marry her.”

Rodriguez believes that the stereotype is changing, however, thanks to Taylor Swift having a cat, the evolution of the role of marriage in society, increased visibility of actual cat owners on the internet, and a cultural shift initiated by marketers to embrace pet owners with outsize affection for their furry friends.

I’ve got another theory to add to that stack, though. Maybe — just maybe — it’s got something to do with us.

I honestly expected the numbers to be even more dramatic than they are — but maybe that’s because the real difference isn’t that we own oodles more cats than everybody else, it’s that we talk about cats a lot more than everybody else.

So many lesbian stereotypes come down to one thing: a perception of lesbians as unashamed to be enthusiastic about things straight women are supposed to avoid or, at the very least, stay quiet about. For example: being fat, sporting body hair, dressing for comfort over style, foregoing makeup. “Being obsessed with our cats” would fit neatly onto that list, I think.

Proud cat ownership, much to my personal despair as somebody who is allergic to the furniture in the homes of 40 percent of my potential dating pool, is just another example of us setting trends and being way ahead of the curve.

In conclusion, my dog Carol is really great! Q

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Can my pet be gay?

If you’ve

ever had a pet, you may have wondered if your dog or cat can be gay. You may have seen your dog mount another pup at the dog park — or watched as your cat seemed only to groom her female litter mates while ignoring her brothers. Since house pets don’t often couple up with a significant other, these questions may just be speculation. However, when you look at the animal kingdom as a whole, especially those critters who are free to roam around without the confines of a human home, the idea of dogs and cats exhibiting homosexual behavior is something that deserves closer attention.

STUDYING SAME-SEX BEHAVIOR IN ANIMALS Same-sex behavior has long been noted in animals of many different species. In 2014, the BBC reported on a pair of male Humboldt penguins who raise orphaned eggs together at a zoo in Kent, England.

You may have even noticed your own pet cuddling up to a same-sex pal. But before we can determine whether pets can be gay, we first need to set the baseline for what is considered “gay” in the animal kingdom.

Gay human beings are defined as being sexually attracted to people of the same sex. However, human sexual orientation is famously varied and fluid, and scien-

Dan Fahndrich and his “beautiful daughter” Lizzy

Josh Tipton and his pup Kadus

tists who study the sexual activity of animals urge us not to compare our behavior to our pets’ for a variety of reasons.

CAN SEXUAL BEHAVIOR BE MISINTERPRETED? Can dogs be gay? Can cats be gay? Here’s another reason why it’s tough to find the answer to these questions: for animals, what’s presumed to be a mating behavior may be misinterpreted. For example, both male and female dogs will mount other dogs. While it is possible that some pets do this because they want to engage in sexual activities, there are many other reasons they may be performing that behavior. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

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suggests that mounting is less about sex and more about playing, releasing stress or showing dominance. Also, don’t forget that dogs will often mount humans and furniture as well.

PetHelpful notes that male cats (even neutered ones) may also mount their pet parents and other household kitties to show who’s boss. Neutering or spaying your pet will often help prevent mounting and other aggressive behaviors. Cats are also known for their grooming skills, and will often lick and sleep cuddled up to other cats. What may seem like sexual behavior to humans may very well be a part of social grooming.

THE JURY IS STILL OUT While there’s been much speculation, there’s no scientific evidence of various animals, especially house pets, being gay or not.

“Whether there’s any kind of same-sex sexual preference going on, that’s left entirely to the imagination in the sense that the data just [doesn’t] exist to demonstrate one way or the other,” said Paul Vasey from the University of Lethbridge to the Washington Post. He continues to say that being exclusively gay is “exceptionally rare” in the animal kingdom.

So, if you’re curious if your dog or cat is gay, know that there is currently no

evidence to support this notion at least in terms that humans are used to defining homosexuality.

MEASURING PUPPY LOVE Scientists often study two things when trying to determine whether animals can be gay: exclusivity and longevity. Exclusivity considers whether these animals are participating in sexual relations only with members of the same sex.

A study in the Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology journal found that about 8 percent of rams appear to mate exclusively with other males, but domesticated sheep seem to be the only non-human mammal with deliberate samesex mating behaviors.

Other animals, such as Japanese macaques, bottlenose dolphins and bonobos (one of our closest primate relatives), mate and cuddle with partners of both genders, notes the BBC — exhibiting more fluid behavior that is closer to what we would call bisexuality.

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Next, scientists consider longevity when studying same-sex behavior in animals. Female albatrosses, for example, often form lifelong partnerships with other females. But dogs and cats don’t tend to engage in any sexual behaviors for long periods of time. Unspayed cats will go into heat several times a year and may attempt to be mounted,

rubbed, or licked by another cat, regardless of sex. Because cats and dogs also do not have long-term mates like humans, longevity is often quite difficult to measure. Q

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

Qsaltlake.com |

Ducky Tolly with Murphy. “I was cleaning the house tonight, and usually, Murphy just lays down on his rug, and stays out of my way.

Tonight, he was pacing, walking up and down the hallway, then would go lay on the couch. I thought maybe he was just restless. My roommate left a bag on the table with tomatoes in it.

I set the tomatoes on his desk...

Apparently, the reason Murphy was pacing was because he was stealing tomatoes every time he passed his desk! By the time I realized what was going on, there was one lone tomato left.

Guy Harris with Chloe (above right). and Chloe with Sibyl. “This took about 3 to 4 weeks for Sibyl  to accept Chloe in the family as our second cat. Look how cute and adorable Sibyl and Chloe are snuggling together. But they still have their fights, which is not surprising haha.

Sue Robbins with Jazz (not named after the basketball team!) “On this drive, I learned how Sigourney Weaver felt with a monster drooling on her while an inch from her face.”

Lucas Fowler with Miss Cleo. “The ER vet indicated that cats sometimes have personality changes with seizures. Miss Cleo now follows me around like a puppy, and gives me way more kitty kisses than she used to. And she used to understand ‘no,’ but now pretends she doesn’t.”

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

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Shane Richardson and Spencer Bagley with Sir Winston Von Tussel. They adopted him from the Humane Society in 2013 when he was only 2 years old. He was the product of a divorce and neither person wanted him. He was abused because he shows signs of trauma. He is a people person but does not like kids ... at all.

JP Varney with Freddy (above), who is mad at him for giving him a bath, and Maria Sophia (below).

Tony Shirley (right) getting help with Christmas decorating from Kubo, and Scott Harwell (below) trying to hypnotize him.

Tracey Dean with her dachsund Laci (lu lu) “She’s now an old lady — 14 years old. We bought her and her sister Dazi for the kids when going through a divorce so they could have dogs at our house. The breeder said they were minis, but, clearly, she’s not a mini.”

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COVER STORY

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

Thelma Houston will ‘Come Out’ to SLC for the Utah Pride Center Thelma

Houston has been an icon in the LGBTQ community for so long, when she started it was then called the “Gay Community.” Her last concert in Salt Lake City was in 2013 — headlining the Utah Pride Festival. She’s back to show her unconditional love this month.

Houston was the first woman on Motown to win a Grammy as she came to the public eye with the 1977 disco gem “Don’t Leave Me This Way.” In her early days, she worked with Stevie Wonder, Patty Labelle, Smokey Robinson, Chaka Khan, Mavis Staples, and Lenny Kravitz. She does a mean tribute to her late friend Aretha Frankl.

More recently, she worked with dance music producer Bimbo Jones, with a song “Turn the World Around” that sounds as current as anything you would hear in a club today.

She has performed around the world in Pride parades, and for the Pope in Rome.

The career of openly gay singer/songwriter Jimmy Sommerville, as part of The Communards, was launched by doing a cover of “Don’t Leave Me This Way.” “I’ll tell you a funny story about that with Jimmy Sommerville,” Houston said to Instinct Magazine writer Jeremy Hinks.

“We both happened to be working in Europe, and it was my off night, and I went to his show, and his

manager knew that I was there, so he gave me a microphone so that when Jimmy started singing “Don’t Leave Me This Way” I started singing it with him walking up to the stage. And he just freaked, it was so much fun, and he had NO idea I was even there, so it was this huge surprise for him. That was so funny, he was so gracious. One other time, we were both doing Pride in New York, and you know the Pride parade in New York is huge. And I was on one float, singing “Don’t Leave Me This Way”, and then later on miles down, he was singing “Don’t Leave Me This Way” too. So that was fun, and it was once again all comes full circle.”

“I’ve been doing work or being supportive of the LGBTQ+ community for many, many years because they have been supportive of me. Because when my song came out, ‘Don’t Leave Me This Way,’ it got a lot of support from the community,” Houston told ThePride in Los Angeles.

Houston has warm memories of her first Utah Pride Festival performance.

“I have been involved in Gay Pride parades since the very beginning when it was maybe two or three cars coming down Santa Monica Boulevard.

And, I was doing the Pride Festival in Salt Lake City on the grounds of City Hall, and there is more of a family kind of celebration in Utah. I saw how much it has changed for people, and how people have changed their hearts. I think one day soon, it’s just gonna be ‘People.’ That’s my hope.”

Most recently, Houston is featured on Morrissey’s single “Bobby, Don’t You Think They Know?”, released on streaming platforms from his album I Am Not a Dog on a Chain.

In September of this year, Houston was the headliner of the first Pride Fest of Chicago suburb Naper, Ilinois. She also headlined Aunt Rita’s AIDS Foundation Gala in Phoenix.

Today, Houston has returned to her Motown roots with a new band show called: “Thelma Houston’s Motown Experience,” featuring nonstop classic Motown songs and a tribute to her friend, the “Queen of Soul” Aretha Franklin.

This month she returns to Salt Lake City in Loud+Queer: The Ballroom with Thelma Houston at Soundwell SLC, Saturday, October 9 as a benefit for the Utah Pride Center and a kick-off for the National Coming Out Day Road Rally.

The show will also include Marrlo Suzzanne & The Galaxy Band, singer/songwriter Lyle Anthony, Jason CoZmo, guest speaker BYU valedictorian Matt Easton, and host Gia Bianca Stephens. Q For tickets and info on the show, go to loudandqueer.org/tickets PHOTO: THELMA HOUSTON

OCTOBER, 2021 |

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COVER STORY | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

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Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

Guncle to Guncle Author Steven Rowley on his new book and the glories of Gunclehood

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

I read

Steven Rowley’s third novel “The Guncle” with my 8-year-old niece in mind. After all, his book makes a case for how parenting extends beyond a child’s actual parents.

Uncles, aunts, friends, grandma, grandpa, babysitters: “It takes a village,” Rowley reminds me during our recent conversation.

It was “The Guncle” that reminded me of what my own niece, who has experienced abrupt life changes due to the pandemic and sudden family shifts, told me recently after I made an aside about how it’s unlikely I’ll become a parent at this point in my life. Ever the inquisitive one, she said, “What do you mean, Uncle?” I briefly explained that if I were going to parent a child, it would’ve happened years ago. She corrected me, reminding me that, in her eyes, I am a parent. “But you’ve got me,” she said, as my heart burst at the seams.

Rowley’s book explores this very bond between Guncles and their nieces (and nephews) with astute, heartwarming observations, while illustrating how the term “parent” expands beyond traditional mom and dad roles.

In the book, Rowley’s character Patrick is a gay man who spends his days in Mr. Turk caftans, soaking up the Palm Springs sun. He’s no longer the sitcom star he once was, so he’s got some time on his hands. That is, until his life is turned upside down when Maisie and Grant, his niece and nephew, lose their mother, also one of Patrick’s dearest friends and sisterin-law. Suddenly, Patrick, still working through the grief of losing his own partner, becomes the children’s temporary guardian. Just one who happens to love a draping caftan.

Rowley spoke to me from Palm Springs, where he lives, about the places he found inspiration for the book and why nieces and nephews share special bonds with their gay uncles.

Because of my relationship with my niece, I really identified with this idea of how Guncles can be an escape for the nieces and nephews in their life and can offer some stability when they need it most. Can you talk about that in terms of this story? That’s incredible that you have such a parallel in your own life, and I do have five nieces and nephews. I don’t have children of my own, but there’s so many more LGBTQ+ parents doing remarkable jobs raising children, and I’m at awe of what they do, you know? It’s unarguably one of life’s great emotional experiences, and so I’m always conscious of not having that in my arsenal as a writer, and I felt I had things I wanted to say about kids.

This was a very interesting project for me, but I was surprised when I became an uncle how deep those relationships actually were to me and how connected I felt to these kids. Guncles have become a thing over the past five, 10 years, and so it’s not just a gay uncle but also a connotation of a larger-than-life figure; they’re sort of able to lavishly dote on kids, perhaps, in a way. They fly in from big cities for holidays.

My nieces and nephews, they don’t quite have a grasp on my life. They’re all on the East Coast; I live in Palm Springs.

I have a house with a swimming pool.

I don’t go to an office the way they see other adults go, and so they don’t quite have my life pegged. It was truly fun to celebrate the specialness of these relationships. You know, there was “Auntie Mame” first, the 1955 Patrick Dennis novel, but he was closeted and came out later in his life as at least bisexual. But it got me thinking, too, about a lot of these queer writers from the mid-century, like Tennessee Williams, or writers who created these larger-than-life female characters perhaps because they weren’t able to openly write about gay men, and that was really interesting to reclaim: that sort of Auntie Mame character as a Guncle.

Like Maisie and Grant when they visit Patrick, do you recognize a special level of

excitement when your nieces and nephews come see you in Palm Springs? For sure.

Writing a story about grief against the backdrop of unrelenting, cheerful sunshine was interesting. And then there’s the sort of fish-out-of-water element. The idea of having kids here and seeing this lifestyle that’s very different from what they’re seeing, that’s where I had some fun, particularly, in creating JED, the gay throuple that lives just over Patrick’s wall on the neighboring property. Putting them in a situation where they might see different relationship models and types of families than they might see in suburban Connecticut was fun to play with.

I love that you come at family structure from different angles. It’s a slight echo of who an uncle is, the “it takes a village” kind of attitude about raising kids. It does take more than just parents sometimes to successfully raise a child. And that more than two people would be in a relationship is really scary thinking to a lot of people. So it was fun to play with people’s expectations about who this throuple might be and divert those expectations a bit by making them very family-minded with legitimate things to contribute to the conversation.

What did you want this book to say about the meaning of family? I wanted it to touch on the great history with a found family in queer culture and queer history. I came out in 1991, and so the tradition of found family in queer culture was something I wanted to touch on. And yes, Patrick is a blood relation to these kids, but the three of them sort

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of being thrown together as they are is really a unique circumstance for the three of them. The idea of just upending sound traditional structures and having it be more about acceptance and letting these kids be who they are.

I never really understood people who wanted kids just to be mini versions of themselves all over again.

(Laughs.) There isn’t anyone that is so great that what the world needs is another version of them, you know? And so the great joy to me in having kids would be to see who these people become on their own terms, and so I wanted to touch on all of that.

What do your nieces and nephews think of the fact that their Guncle has written a book? They’re still a little young. But I’m sorry for anyone who happens to be related to a writer (laughs). We do tend to lift things. But the book is dedicated to the five of them, so to the extent that I may have borrowed from their lives, I hope they will forgive me.

In the acknowledgements, you also say that your editor, Sally Kim, recognized this story before you did. Could you talk about that and how it developed? It stemmed from a week where my brother brought his two boys to visit.

He’s an attorney in Boston, and he was here with the boys for a week and after about 12 hours here got called into court, basically, to represent one of his clients. He had to leave, and I suddenly was left with the two boys. I felt like an understudy being thrust into the lead role. I documented the whole thing on Instagram. My editor was watching

me flounder a bit that week, and she said, “You know, I think there might be something to write about here.”

So some of this is based on your own experiences. It’s a combination of a number of things.

One is, I’ve had a long fascination with “Auntie Mame” and other magical caregiver stories: Mary Poppins, Maria from “The Sound of Music.” It seemed fun to me to create a queer entry in that genre.

I imagined the book as a much lighter comedic novel at first, and a month into the writing process I lost one of my very best friends from college to breast cancer. She left behind a 6-year-old son, which was devastating for me and for her family. But the idea of grief in children was something I was suddenly thinking about much more seriously.

How else do you explain this relationship between Guncles and their nieces and nephews?

I do make a joke in the book.

Patrick says to the kids, “You know, I have a swimming pool with no natural heirs.

You should be nice to me.”

(Laughs.) I think there’s an absolute acceptance of them for who they are, and I think a lot of Guncles … and justice for lesbian aunts! We need a better word than “Launt.” But we are delighted in them for who they are. We’re not the people in their lives that put any pressure on them to be anything other than who they are. I think they respond to that energy. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Kudos to Udo ACROSS

1 Bowling alley button 6 Feline Broadway musical 10 In the sack 14 Start of Caesar’s boast 15 Tiny bit of matter 16 Martin’s “Ed Wood” role 17 Interrupt, on the dance floor 18 “Peter Pan” pooch 19 Penn of “Milk” 20 Line of work for Pat Pitsenbarger 23 Antitrust grp.

24 Org. offering AIDS coverage 25 Ending with switch 26 Where to say “Aloha” when you come 28 Mil. student body 30 “Meet Me ___ Louis” 32 Material on a drag queen’s legs 33 Bob Marley do 35 Upcoming movie in which Udo Kiers plays Pat Pitsenbarger 37 “SNL” alum Jay

39 Aid’s partner 40 With 58-Across, sobriquet for Pat Pitsenbarger 44 Responds to change 48 Type of queen 49 Fruity drinks 51 “Neet” rival 52 Where PrideVision originated 54 Small songbird 56 GFN assets 57 Alice player on “The Brady Bunch” 58 See 40-Across 61 Patty Sheehan supporters 63 Apollo’s instrument 64 Mark of literary distinction 66 Mouth-to-mouth experts 67 Common connections 68 Communicates with gestures 69 Go out with 70 HIV exam, e.g.

71 Last letter from Socrates

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 37

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

DOWN

1 Dr. Kildare portrayer Chamberlain 2 Big banana exporter 3 Fill to excess 4 Arab head 5 Like a nervous Nellie 6 Deep crack in Mother Earth 7 Totally puzzled 8 Collette of “The Hours” 9 Overhand stroke, for Billie Jean 10 Muscle Mary’s pride 11 Queer meat source 12 Tickled-pink feeling 13 “Dirty ___” 21 Country singer Yearwood 22 Enjoyed South Beach 27 Auden’s first name 29 Mapplethorpe’s tool 31 Airline in “The Aviator” 34 Cadillac model, with “El” 36 Put to shame 38 Sometime label of David Bowie 40 Tracked down 41 Rio beach of song 42 Tony, who sang with k.d. lang

43 Albee and Wood 45 A guy’s junk 46 Straightening up 47 MTF operation

50 Wilde man 53 Black key for Elton John 55 Crackers or bananas 59 Since, to J. M. Barrie

60 Engage in some watersports 62 U-turn from NNW 65 Crack code-cracking org.

OCTOBER, 2021 |

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

Issue 328 | Qsaltlake.com

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce  utahlgbtqchamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah  lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition  utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org

1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

LEGAL

SOCIAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah

2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org

175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr

Utah Libertarian Party

Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN

Utah Log Cabin Republicans

Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242

Qsaltlake.com |

6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824

 bit.ly/logcabinutah

801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org  fb.me/ utahstonewalldems

 1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm 2nd, 4th Mondays, Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Men Who Move  menwhomove.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

umen.org

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  bit.ly/upc_sosa  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org

Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org The OUT Foundation  theout.foundation  fb.me/theOUTfoundation Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa

TransAction  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm

Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum

Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org

Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20

Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

 utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

OCTOBER, 2021 |

BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

Issue 328 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

The Charm Offensive: A Novel

BY ALISON COCHRUN C.2021, ATRIA,$17, 368 PAGES

The applause is all for you this time.

It’s deafening, really — perhaps because there’s a standing ovation beneath it. All the work you did, the emoting, the emotions, you know how much your fans appreciate it. So take a bow. Drink in the love. As in the new novel, “The Charm Offensive” by Alison Cochrun, that’s one thing that’s sometimes missing in life.

Dev Deshpande was good at his job. He knew it, his colleagues knew it, it was fact.

q scopes OCTOBER

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19 ​ ut yourself first and focus P on health and wellness. There could be a problem within that needs to be addressed. Reach out to friends to find inspiration on getting active. The best activities are done in groups.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Even if you’re confused about a personal issue, don’t fret too much about it. A family member is incredibly distracting.

Spend time with them and get the focus out of your head. The solutions will seek you out.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 A former friend is going to be on your mind a lot. Things may not have ended well, but that doesn’t mean you need to hate them.

He might personally be terrible at love — case in point: he was still smarting from a three-months-ago break-up with his boyfriend, Ryan — but Dev was a pro at his job as producer for the reality TV show, Ever After. In fact, he’d been in charge of making dreams happen for six years’ worth of beautiful Ever After contestants; it helped that he believed in fairy tales.

Maybe one day, he’d find his own Prince Charming.

Just not this season.

This season, his lead director made him handle the “prince” instead of the usual “princesses,” and that was a challenge.

Charles Winshaw was twenty-eight, devastatingly handsome, extremely wealthy, and a nervous, introverted nerd who rarely dated. Geeky, awkward, and prone to panic attacks, he sincerely had no clue how to be romantic.

Truth was, he was only there

because his best friend and agent put him on Ever After to counter a reputation for being weird.

Still, Charlie was weird, and it was up to Dev to make him work for the show.

Shoring up Charlie’s confidence didn’t work, and neither did a pep talk. He couldn’t seem to just perform a role without freaking out and it was becoming obvious.

By the time Dev’s assistant suggested having a few practice dates, Dev was willing to try anything.

He took Charlie to dinner.

He spent time doing jigsaw puzzles with him, and he got Charlie to relax a little.

If sparks flew, well, it was one-sided: Charlie was completely straight.

Wasn’t he?

You know what’s going to happen in the end, don’t you?

Of course, you do. You’ll know it by Page Thirty, step-by-step, with virtually no surprises,

It’s possible you just needed a break.

You could reach out, but don’t waste much time.

end of the day, a focused solution requires precision.

CANCER June 21–July 22 Things may not be perfect with a partner or buddy, but a sweet development could be in store. Focus on what you have in common and enjoy your time together. Feelings have a funny way of creating joy.

LEO July 23–August 22 Even if you can take charge, the question is whether you should. Take a step back and put the ball in the hand of another.

They may serve in ways you didn’t anticipate. Satisfaction comes by being submissive.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 There is a tendency to overthink the simplest situations.

See the big picture instead of focusing on the small stuff, especially in work or business matters. At the

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Ever have that feeling that everything is going perfectly?

Probably not often, but it’s okay. There are finances to take care of as well as a personal issue. No matter what it is, be realistic and handle it firmly.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 A divide in your attention could be due to a pleasant distraction. Whether you fancy someone or find a new hobby, get the work done first, then enjoy the rest as much as you’d like. Everything comes down to planning.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

Nothing has ever been smooth regarding a loved one, but you always know they have you covered. So pass on tasks to reduce stress but keep a close eye on what is happening. It’s a good time for a change.

which leaves a long way to the final sentence of “The Charm Offensive.”

Now, it’s true that this novel is cute. It has its lightly humorous moments and author Alison Cochrun gives it a good cast, from contestant to show creator. It doesn’t lack details; in fact, reality dating show-watchers will feel right at home here. It even has the ubiquitous panoply of exotic locales for the “challenges” that the contestants must do.

At issue is the length of this book. There’s too much of it, too many shirts that creep up, too many mentions of vomit, too much needless drama, too many will-he-won’t-he, when we know full well he will.

This extra doesn’t ratchet up the tension, it makes things slow. And so: cute story, familiar scenes, good characters in “The Charm Offensive.” But if taut is what you want in a rom-com, leave this book and bow out. Q

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

It has been challenging getting projects off the ground, but things will flow very smoothly during this time. So put ideas of perfection aside and just do the work. Perfection is for the end goal, not the start.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 This is a good time for being spooky and diving into some fun. Be safe but realize that the holidays are going to open you to some creative possibilities. Even if you don’t go out, there is still plenty to do at home.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 An annoyance may come in the form of a co-worker who doesn’t get your methods.

Figure out what you want to take charge of and let go of issues that don’t really matter. It can feel good to release the burden. Q

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | CELEBRITY

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

deep inside hollywood

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Queer stars will spin the ‘Celebrity Wheel of Fortune’ It turns out that a lot of you found comfort viewing bliss last year with ABC’s “Celebrity Wheel of Fortune.” And as the pandemic continues, the network is banking on you coming back to cozy up to the coming second season. There may not be anymore ceramic dalmations on the prize platform, but there are more than a few queer celebrities who’ll be playing to win (and we assume donating those winnings to charity) when the new round of contests drops on Sunday, September 26. The line-up includes Tituss Burgess, Mario Cantone, Laverne Cox, John Michael Higgins, Raven-Symoné, Johnny Weir and bisexual musician Jason Mraz. In other words, it’s going to be a non-stop primetime Pride parade, a lot of LGBTQ+ folks buying vowels and solving puzzles. Stay home!

Shout answers from the couch!

‘Nuclear Family’ explores queer parenting in the 1970s To listen to most people tell it, the 1970s was a decade where queer people experienced sexual liberation, fought back against homophobes like Anita Bryant, and cheered on Harvey Milk. And while all of those things happened, and famously, there were quieter yet no less earthshaking revolutions taking place in domestic spaces. One of those spaces was the childhood home of filmmaker Ry Russo-Young, the child of lesbian mothers whose idyllic existence was thrown into chaos when one of the couple’s sperm donors sued for visitation and paternity rights. Now Russo-Young’s documentary about her mothers and the fallout from that lawsuit, “Nuclear Family,” will air in three parts on HBO and HBO Max. It’s essential, historically important viewing, a sobering reminder of decades of legal attacks on queer families, the legacy of

lesbians losing custody of their own children, and how one family survived their ordeal. The series drops September 26.

Billy Porter and Gabrielle Union get ‘Real’ Billy Porter and Gabrielle Union are about to bring you a queer teen high school comedy. The “Pose” star recently finished directing his first feature film — the forthcoming “What If?” — and he’s already moving on to the next, called “To Be Real.” Gabrielle Union (star of “L.A.’s Finest” and outspoken mom to a transgender child) has a production company that sold the comedy to Amazon. With a script by Ryan Shiraki, writer-director of “Spring Breakdown” and the queer indies “Freshman Orientation” and “Poster Boy,” the movie is pitched as a cross between “Booksmart” and “Superbad,” the story of three queer high school kids traveling to their first New York City Pride parade and running into wild situations along the way. There’s no cast yet, and no shoot date, so place this one on your calendar as dropping sometime in 2022. Maybe by then Pride parades will be back, too.

Nyle DiMarco runs to ‘Flash Before the Bang’ If you’ve got Apple TV+ and you’ve finished binging as much of “Ted Lasso” as you can, you’ll find similarly heartwarming fare in “CODA,” the deaf family musical drama starring Marlee Matlin and Emilia Jones.

Now, on the heels of that well-received film comes “Flash Before the Bang,” a true story about deaf athletes.

Queer “America’s Next Top Model” alum Nyle DiMarco stars in the period drama about an all-deaf high school track and field team from the Oregon School for the Deaf. The team battled their way to wins over other public schools before becoming the Oregon State Track & Field Champions of 1986. The film is written and directed by deaf filmmaker Jevon Whetter, and “CODA” co-star Troy Kotsur and real-life wife, deaf actor Deanne Bray (“Heroes”), will have supporting roles. Currently in pre-production, shooting looks to start in spring of 2022.

Kasi Lemmons is going to ‘Dance’ with Whitney Houston The Whitney Houston biopic, currently in development, has switched directors. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” the film about the legendary singer’s life and tragic early death, the one being made with the full participation of the Houston estate, was going to be helmed

by Stella Meghie (of the criminally underseen Issa Rae-starring romantic drama “The Photograph”).

And now she’s out, due to the always-vague explanation of “creative differences.” Stepping in to direct is veteran filmmaker Kasi Lemmons (“Harriet,” “Eve’s Bayou”), working from a script by “Bohemian Rhapsody” scribe Anthony McCarten. So far only two cast members have been announced: British actress Naomi Ackie (“The End of the F***ing World”) as Houston and Moses Ingram (“The Queen’s Gambit”) as Robyn Crawford. The fact that Crawford will be part of this story is major for queer audiences, but we’d be lying if we said we weren’t concerned that her relationship with Whitney will be straight-washed for the comfort of non-queers. For now we’re going to trust that Lemmons will know how important that is, and we’ll be saving all our love for it. Q Romeo San Vicente answers to Daddy.

OCTOBER, 2021 |

Issue 328 | Qsaltlake.com

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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 328 | OCTOBER, 2021

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of life on a rollercoaster

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to the amusement park is fraught with danger and excitement.

After having to cancel the annual Q Lagoon Day due to the pandemic last year, I was so excited last month to be able to resume the gay day at the amusement park despite the scorching hot afternoon. Typically, I bring a nice comfortable chair to the picnic pavilion to sit in. Subsequently, the pavilion becomes my temporary throne room, and I am Lagoon’s “Queen for a Day,” where I can “hold court” with my subjects while they attempt to recover between bouts of motion sickness from riding the rollercoasters. Those of you who know me can attest to the fact that this plush-sized sumo-worthy queen does not cope well when the ambient temperature rises above 65 degrees. Consequently, I also bring a box fan so as to blow a breeze up my skirt and keep my breasticles and other private parts well ventilated. The bonus to this is that the blowing air creates the opportunity for me to impersonate the most marvelous Marylin Monroe blowing skirt moment from the “Seven Year Itch.”

One of the perks of being queen is that I get to hold audience with all the cute twink boys flitting about. With just a teeny tiny bit of coaxing, I can often entice them to sit on my lap and pose for a photo, just like Santa Claus at the shopping mall. Of course, one always

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runs the risk of a sexual molestation charge, but you only live once! On this extremely hot day, however, the fan was just not quite keeping me cool enough to enable my gravity-enhanced buttockus rotundus from becoming uncomfortably moist while ensconced on my throne and fondling the cuties.

Typically, Club Try-Angles Bar owner Gene makes a large vat full of ice-cold delicious adult (about 190-proof) “punch” to share with his staff and friends. On this day, perhaps he could sense my impending heat stroke, or maybe he could see the growing puddle of sweat accumulating beneath my throne. Either way, I was ever-sa-grateful to accept Gene’s kind offer of a red plastic Solo cup filled to the brim with the refreshing elixir. It just so happened that I was between hot flashes, so I thirstily gulped down half the contents. Luckily, my “throne” had a built-in cup holder so that I could conveniently keep sipping the remaining refreshment at my leisure.

The afternoon progressed, with a veritable parade of very cute boys, mincing and prancing before me, and sitting on my sofa-sized lap. Between each boy, I would drink just a small sip of the punch.

Each time I took a drink, I was ever-sa proud of my self-control and restraint, noticing that my cup was not empty, thus I was being very conscientious about not becoming a sloppy drunk boozy queen on the spot. For, after all, I wanted desperately to avoid being a drunken queen on the rollercoaster who just might experience an encore presentation of her breakfast, all over the person in front of her. With each small swallow, I also noticed that the drink was remaining rather cold. I quietly wondered to myself, had the Solo Cup Company redesigned their product to include undetectable insulating properties for keeping beverages cool?

All this sipping of punch eventually led to an inevitable result. I had to pee.

There was no royal powder room at the pavilion. My need to drain the dragon

became very urgent. Now I have learned that a queen should never visit a public restroom un-escorted, lest some common ruffians wish to cause a “disturbance in the force.” So, I asked two very cute boys who were near me to escort me while I “saw a man about a horse.” They excitedly exclaimed that they were amazed that Lagoon had added pony rides.

The closest comfort station was at least 50 yards away. So, with twinks in attendance, I set out on the journey to the loo. I did notice that I was a bit dizzy. It must be the heat affecting me. So, I held onto the very handsome boy’s arm with a vice-like death grip. Along the trek, I heard a child exclaim, “Mom, look at that fancy lady. Where’s she going? Let’s follow her.” Soon a small crowd began to follow us, and thus our journey became a veritable potty parade. I heard an audible cry of disappointment when the child realized our destination was the lavatory.

As I entered, I could faintly hear the child question, “Number one or Number two?”

A classy queen never tells!

Back at the pavilion, when it was time to begin packing up and getting ready to go home, Gene asked me if I was okay to drive. I responded that I had been very responsible and had only refilled my cup of punch one time, so I should be good to go. Gene confessed that every time my back had been turned, he had secretly been refilling my cup with cold punch. In reality, I had drunk about six glassfuls of the stuff. No wonder I was dizzy.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. How much tensile strength does a string of pearls need to enable me to lasso cute boys?

2. Are the lap dances I receive from twinks really their attempt to wiggle free to escape my clutches?

3. In all the photos taken, the cute boys sitting on my lap were sporting broad smiles on their faces. Were those smiles really just grimaces of disgust?

4. Was I really dizzy, or was that just an excuse to hold onto the boy?

5. Should I disguise a portable pee bucket as a purse so that I can discretely relieve pressure beneath my caftan?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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