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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know ‘Real Housewives’ gets real lesbian It’s hard to hold your nose and type but this item from Bravo Network about “The Real Housewives of Miami” may be relevant. RHOM is back after eight years and is sporting a Sapphic vibe. An out lesbian housewife, Julia Lemigova, will appear in the show. Lemigova is a former Russian beauty queen and is married to pro-tennis player Martina Navratilova. She is not a glitz, glamour, and Botox beauty like her costars and doesn’t even live in Miami. She runs a small farm outside of Miami where, instead of feeding jealousy and resentments, she feeds chickens and goats. She will join a cast of buffed-up and beautified returning stars from the show eight years ago.
Swimmer’s recordbreaking run A swimmer on the University of Pennsylvania women’s team continued to smash swimming competition this season. Lia Thomas won the 200-yard freestyle in 1:41.93
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at the Zippy Invitational in Akron, Ohio, breaking the school’s all-time mark and establishing the best time in the nation this season, according to the university. She also won the 1,650 freestyle by more than 38 seconds in 15:59.71 to set another university record. It’s the first season Thomas has competed in swimming meets as a woman. Thomas competed on the men’s team for two full seasons prior to this year. Thomas, who’s competing as a senior after the Ivy League canceled the previous season due to the pandemic, added: “Being trans has not affected my ability to do this sport, and being able to continue is very rewarding.”
“Swinging Richards” was a fully nude strip club that was open to all, but catered to gay men. COVID administered the coup de grace to the gaybar business after online dating took much of the cruise business away from bars since 2000. In 2011, Swinging Richards expanded to Miami, first locating in North Miami Beach then moving to Pompano Beach. An off-shoot, called “Johnsons,” opened in Wilton Manors, Florida in 2017. A documentary, “All Male, All Nude,” was released in 2017.
No more swinging Dicks Another nail in the coffin of “gay bar culture” comes with the closing of “Swinging Richards” gay male strip club in Atlanta. The club has operated in Atlanta with spinoffs in other cities for 30 years.
JANUARY, 2022
The letter of dismissal said Duke’s actions had “polarized” the congregation, but none of those actions constituted formal violations of UMC’s Book of Discipline, the legal code for Methodist clergy.
Not Davis County school news
Drag performance costs minister his pulpit
A lawsuit by former Minnesota middle school principal Mary Kay Thomas, says she was removed from her position for displaying an LGBTQ+ Pride flag. She refused to remove the flag from a display of 30 flags of marginalized populations including indigenous tribal flags and an autism flag. Her suit claims the district attempted to get her to quit by removing her as middle-school principal, assigning her to a demeaning ‘special projects’ position, and putting her on a humiliating year-long performance improvement plan.
It doesn’t pay to be creative, especially if you are a Methodist minister. The Rev. Craig Duke has been a Methodist minister for 30 years, advocating LGBT inclusion in the church along the way. There has recently been a schism in the Methodist Church USA with an LGBT-supporting faction going its own way. The Rev. Duke’s pastoral duties have been terminated in Indiana after he showed his support for LGBT parishioners by appearing in drag alongside prominent drag queens in the HBO reality series “We’re Here.” He performed in a dress, high-heeled boots, a pink wig, and heavy makeup. He did it, he said, in support of his daughter, who identifies as pansexual. Some congregants took exception to his surprise appearance and moved for his dismissal. One email said, “Satan must be pleased with the discord.”
Danielle Neuschwanger, a candidate running in next year’s Colorado gubernatorial Republican primary, made bizarre and false claims about the current governor, Jared Polis. In a speech in rural Colorado, she claimed Polis is not really gay, was once married to a woman whom he abused, sexually assaulted a female colleague and Polis is not his real name. The governor hasn’t responded, but there’s no public record of him ever
Cooper benefits from Cuomo troubles The demise of CNN host Chris Cuomo because of revelations of help he gave his brother — resigned New York Gov. Andrew — during the governor’s sexual harassment scandal is a short-term gain for anchor Anderson Cooper. “Cuomo Prime Time” was on in the 9 p.m. slot Monday through Friday, following “Anderson Cooper 360.” Cooper’s broadcast will be expanded, at least temporarily, to cover the Cuomo slot. Another gay man, Don Lemon, will still follow gay darling Cooper’s expanded show. The change may not help CNN’s flagging ratings as Cuomo was ranked 24 in the ratings and the one-hour Cooper show is number 25.
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being married until his recent marriage to Marlon Reis this year. He did legally drop his father’s last name and has gone by his mother’s maiden name since 2000. The assault charge is complicated, but he is listed as the victim on police reports. Neuschwanger also claims Polis is California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s cousin, which he is not. Someone has OD’d on Q-Anon.
Survey: 20 million in US identify as LGBTQ+ Though the U.S. census does not ask questions about LGBT status, the U.S. Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey flogs some info out of the raw data surveys. Human Rights Campaign says the survey reveals that “at least 20 million people in the U.S. identify as LGBTQ+.” Out of the country’s 340 million people, that’s less than the Kinsey statistic which posited 10 percent of the population were gay, lesbian, or bisexual. It’s more than the 4.4 percent number HRC has used in the past. California and Texas had the largest number of LGBTQ+ residents with 2.6 million and 1.7 million respectively. Two percent of the 20 million said their sexual orientation was not gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight. That number could include those who identify as pansexual, asexual, or other designation.
Norway fines Grindr for info sharing As if there weren’t enough blank profiles on Grindr, the Norwegian Data Protection Authority says the dating app shared profile data to advertisers without the informed consent of users. GDPR fined the APP owners 6.5 million euros (about US$7 million). Grindr’s reselling of user data is not spelled out in the very
well-read terms and conditions document and so data on a user’s sexual proclivity has been sold to advertisers without the user’s consent. The Norwegian Consumer Council busted Grindr, claiming the app shared GPS location, IP address, advertising ID, age, gender, and the fact that the user was on Grindr. There was no mention in the complaint of preferred pronouns or if “the door is
unlocked” and the user was “ass up.” The GDPR found this practice particularly intrusive because data about a person’s sexual orientation constitutes special category data receiving enhanced protection.
Chili passes marriage/ adoption equality Chile approved a landmark law allowing same-sex marriage in the historically Catholic country. The legislation,
overwhelmingly approved by parliament, also enables gay couples to adopt children. President Sebastián Piñera vowed to push the legislation through parliament during his annual State of the Union address in June this year. It has been criticized by members of his conservative coalition. Chile’s LGBT community has long pushed for the law, which has been stalled by Congress since 2017. —MA Q
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8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS
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Utah native billionaire leaves LDS Church, donates $600K to Equality Utah A man considered the wealthiest Utah native resigned his Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints membership and vowed to donate 90 percent of his wealth to charities, beginning with $600K to Equality Utah. Jeff T. Green, founder and CEO of the advertising technology company The Trade Desk, sent a 900-word letter to LDS Church President Russel M. Nelson resigning his membership immediately, citing the church’s misuse of wealth and its stance on social and equity issues. The letter, which has been quoted by The Salt Lake Tribune and Forbes, charges that church leadership “is not honest about its history, its finances, and its advocacy.” He wrote that while “most members are good people trying to do the right thing, I believe the church is actively and currently doing harm in the world.”
Green described the Mormon Church’s $100 billion in assets as “all a derivative of the widow’s mite” — a reference to a biblical story about a poor widow who gives away her money to the church. “The Church has been wealthy for many generations and yet doesn’t do nearly as much as it could,” he wrote. “Given you claim to represent the will of God and act as a special witness of Jesus, the Mormon church should be doing more to help the world and its members with its wealth. Instead, I think the church has exploited its members and their need for hope to build temples, build shopping malls, cattle ranches, fund Ensign Peak Advisors investment funds, and own mortgage-backed securities, rather than alleviating human suffering in or out of the church.” He further wrote that the church “has strained and divided millions of families” through its stances on a range of social issues that have “hindered global progress in women’s rights, civil rights, and racial equality, and LGBTQ+ rights.” He announced a donation of $600,000 to LGBTQ advocacy group Equality Utah, with half of the funds earmarked for scholarships for LGBTQ students in the state including those who “may need or want to leave BYU.” “We made this investment sizable and publicly to send a message that Equality Utah isn’t going anywhere,” Green says. “It is my hope and that of my foundation [Dataphilanthropy] that this is the first of many contributions to Equality Utah.” Equality Utah released a statement, saying, “We are tremendously grateful to Jeff Green for believing in our work. We sat down together and shared our vision for a
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fair and just Utah. We are firm believers that despite our political differences in America, we always must seek common ground. When we do, incredible things can and do happen. Thanks Jeff, for supporting our work. We will continue our active engagement with Utah stakeholders as we work to advance legal and lived equality for LGBTQ Utahns.” Green said his resignation is a step toward “a life of honesty, morality, truth, and a desire to pursue a more socially just world — not because I desired a different lifestyle.” Eleven family members and one friend joined Green in resignations. According to a Washington Post story, Green met with Equality Utah’s Troy Williams before penning the letter to Nelson. In the two-hour meeting, he was skeptical of the “Utah compromise” and that church leaders were honest in their desire to work equitably with the LGBTQ community. “I had my doubts. Is it really effective to try diplomacy with the church?” Green told the Washington Post, noting that he saw Oaks’s speech the night before as “major progress” from LDS leaders. “I see progress as a windy, curvy road. It’s never a straight line,” Williams replied. “I always celebrate the wins when we can.” “I know there’s an attitude that we had this great Utah compromise and somehow we make it work, but we haven’t made it work yet,” Green said. “We can. We’ll get there.” Q
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Utah bill restricting transgender girls in sports is reintroduced Rep. Kera Birkeland, R-Morgan, has penned a new version of her bill that restricts transgender girl participation in school sports after her earlier full ban failed this year. The bill, HB-11, allows transgender high school girls to compete if they have had one year of hormone therapy and changed the sex designation on their birth certificate. Current requirement from the Utah High School Activities Association requires a year of hormone therapy,
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but not a changed birth certificate. Birkeland says the bill is the result of negotiations between her, Equality Utah, the ACLU, parents, coaches, and UHSAA. The bill addresses only students in school years 9–12. “I believe we have a policy that is fair, balanced and will accomplish the goal of preserving women’s sports,” Birkeland said. “It will help alleviate concerns of fairness and make sure that there are no competitive advantages or disadvantages for any athlete. … I want to make sure that my daughter is playing on an even playing field.” Equality Utah attorney Clifford Rosky, said the group is considering endorsing the bill if the legislation clearly states that puberty blockers count as qualifying hormone therapy and the birth certificate requirement is removed. During the committee meeting, Birkeland said she viewed puberty blockers as qualifying as the hormone therapy required in the bill, although that’s not explicitly stated in it. Rosky did raise the concern of the requirement to have the birth certificate changed by a judge. “It’s requiring students to pay court fees and hire a lawyer to go through a court process and that is quite expensive,” he said. “That’s a big barrier for a lot of students.” Birkeland said the birth certificate change is proof that a family is serious about the gender change. The Utah Supreme Court ruled this year that judges should grant requests for transgender people to change the gender on their birth certificate. A state legislative committee discussed tweaking that ruling with a new statute.
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Sen. Jake Anderegg, R-Lehi, questioned whether hormone therapy was enough to “even the playing field.” He told the committee he was 6’4” by the time he finished sixth grade, giving him a competitive advantage at basketball. “If I’m transgender and I transition after I’ve had those biological developments, how do you negate that when you’re talking about competition in a female sport?” he said. “I still see that as being a competitive advantage, and fairness is the point.” Birkeland said she wasn’t trying to address every aspect of competitive fairness in this bill. Transgender activist Sue Robbins said she appreciated the work Birkeland did since the end of the last legislative session, though she’s worried about other expected legislation like a ban on hormone therapy for minors and a ban on changing sex markers on birth certificates. Both of those proposals, she said, could undermine Birkeland’s bill. “The transgender community to me has become a lightning rod, and I think we all see that in every area. We’re having to play defense,” Robbins said. “We’ve been educating and we have made progress here. I believe we should take this framework and see where it will lead with the other bills potentially causing distraction and conflict against this effort. … We have the ingredients. We got to put the recipe together.” The 2022 Utah Legislative Session is scheduled from Jan. 18 to March 4, 2022. Q
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Q mmunity Project Rainbow is taking grant applications for 2022 Project Rainbow, which raises funds for LGBTQ-related charities and projects by offering Pride and transgender flags during LGBTQ events throiughout the state, has announced they are accepting grant applications for the upcoming year. Money raised by Project Rainbow goes to finance projects and events that promote LGBTQ+ visibility in Utah. Any individual, group, or organization can apply for grants ranging from $100 to $7,000. Applications must be in by January 17 at projectrainbowutah.org/community-fund.
Utah Gay Ski Week returns in February 2022 Utah’s gay ski week, Elevation: Utah, will return to Park City for its 12th annual season, and the 20th season at Mammoth Lakes, Calif., says founder Tom Whitman. “Last year’s cancellation of the formal events was devastating, but in 2022, we
are back — bigger and better than ever!” Whitman wrote in a statement. “Elevation has a special place in my heart, not only because it is the longest-running event I have produced, but because each year I meet amazing people from around the world who share at least one of my passions — skiing/ snowboarding and gathering with my LGBTQ community.” The event is planned for Feb. 23–27. More information is available at utahgayskiweek.com
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12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PEOPLE OF THE YEAR
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
PEOPLE YEAR of the
Angie Rice, Chris Wharton, and Sean Childers-Gray went to the Utah Supreme Court to fight for transgender rights Seven years ago, QSaltLake Magazine declared the plaintiffs and organizers who took Utah to court to challenge Utah’s laws and constitutional amendment that restricted marriage to male-female couples as People of the Year. They won. This year, we declare two plaintiffs and the lawyer with the brass to take on Utah’s court system all the way to the state’s Supreme Court to fairly determine when transgender people could change their gender marker on state documents, including driver licenses and birth certificates. They won. ANGIE RICE, a former command pilot, and director of operations in the U.S. Air Force, and a special education teacher in the Weber School District, decided at age 54 to transition to be a woman. Her wife, children, and extended family were supportive. A Utah judge, however, was not. Rice had asked attorney CHRIS WHARTON to help file the routine paperwork requesting a gender marker change on her driver license. “We thought that this was going to be a pretty routine name and gender change case,” Wharton said in
a video for the Equality Utah Allies Impact Awards. “We didn’t at the time anticipate that this would be the start of a constitutional challenge.” In the hearing, the judge praised Rice’s military service and career as a special education teacher. “And then his tone changed,” Rice said. “He explained how he didn’t have the jurisdiction, or the ability, or the willingness to grant a gender marker change.” Another transgender Weber County resident, SEAN CHILDERSGRAY, had recently gotten the same answer from the same judge. So he approached Wharton as well. “I had started the gender marker change on my birth certificate in the attempts to adopt my step-child,” ChildersGray explained. “And I was told no.” Gender marker changes are routine in the state, but this judge decided there was not clear enough instruction from Utah’s legislature on granting the changes. Wharton decided to combine the two cases and challenge the decisions in the Utah Supreme Court. “We had a judge saying the law wasn’t adequate, and we were saying it was, and
PHOTO: COURTESY OF EQUALITY UTAH, KEVIN RANDALL, BLACKBIRD COMMUNICATIONS
that the overwhelming majority of judges in Utah had determined the law was adequate,” Wharton said. “The [Supreme} Court needed to establish uniformity among all of the courts in Utah.” The three faced the Supreme Court judges in January of 2018. The Utah Attorney General’s Office chose not to be part of the case. Without an opposing party, judges wondered aloud about jurisdiction issues. “I think it’s noteworthy that the majority of these petitions have been unopposed because this is a policy that is working in Utah,” Wharton said. The court took 40 months to come back with a ruling on the case. The Court ruled May 6 that Rice and Childers-Gray could modify their driver licenses, birth certificates, and other state documents to reflect the gender with which they identify, saying the judge who declined their initial request based his decision on “a legal mistake.” For their tenacity and perseverance to make change for the entire transgender community in Utah, QSaltLake declares Rice, Wharton, and ChildersGray the 2021 People of the Year. Q
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Family Behaviors that Increase Your LGBTQ/Two Spirit (LGBTQ-2S) Child’s Health & Well-Being Research from the Family Acceptance Project® found more than 50 family accepting behaviors that help protect your lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer-identified (LGBTQ)/Two Spirit child against health risks like depression, suicide and illegal drug use and help to increase your LGBTQ-2S child’s self-worth, health and well-being. A little change makes a difference in decreasing your child’s isolation and risk and giving them hope that their family will be there for them.
Family support saves lives!
BEHAVIORS THAT HELP... Tell your LGBTQ-2S/ Require other family Show affection when your child Support your child’s Talk with your child or gender diverse child that members to treat your tells you or when you learn that foster child about their gender diversity your child is LGBTQ-2S you love them child with respect LGBTQ-2S identity and listen respectfully – even when you feel uncomfortable or think that being gay or transgender is wrong
Ask your child if – and how you can help them tell other people about their LGBTQ-2S identity
Welcome your child’s LGBTQ-2S friends to your home
Find spiritual groups that welcome your LGBTQ-2S child and family
Use your child’s chosen name Participate in activities for and the pronoun that matches their gender identity families with LGBTQ-2S and
gender diverse children to get support for yourself and Tell your LGBTQ-2S/ gender your family and guidance to Talk with your spiritual leader diverse child that you will be to help your community become support your LGBTQ-2S child there for them – even if you supportive of LGBTQ-2S people don’t fully understand
Connect your child with Welcome your child’s LGBTQ-2S partner to family LGBTQ-2S adult role events and activities models
Express enthusiasm for your child having an LGBTQ-2S/gender diverse partner when they’re ready to date
Bring your child to LGBTQ-2S events Teach other families to support LGBTQ-2S children
Get accurate information to educate yourself about your child’s sexual orientation, gender identity and expression
Believe that your child can be a Stand up for your child happy LGBTQ-2S adult – and tell when others mistreat them they will have a good life them because of their LGBTQ-2S identity - at home, at school, in the Speak openly about your community child’s LGBTQ-2S identity
The more of these behaviors that parents and families do, the better your LGBTQ-2S child’s health & well-being
• Better health
• Less likely to be depressed
• Higher self-esteem
• 3 times less likely to attempt suicide
• Stronger social support
• 3 times less likely to think about suicide
• Better family relationships
• Less likely to have substance abuse problems
For more information about acceptance and rejection and your LGBTQ-2S child’s risk & well-being - Family Acceptance Project®: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu In collaboration with Council Oak Training & Evaluation, Inc. Developed with funding from The Upswing Fund for Adolescent Mental Health, a collaborative fund powered by Panorama © 2021 Caitlin Ryan, PhD
14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PEOPLE OF THE YEAR
Qsaltlake.com |
Our past People of the Year This is our 18th People of the Year issue. A total of 54 people have been declared our People of the Year, ranging in age from 18 to however old the most senior LDS leader is. We’ve declared mostly people who have affected Utah’s LGBTQ community for the better in a year, but at times it was for worse. But even the latter changes our community for the better, as they tend to get people involved in our progress in response to their ugliness. Here are the covers of our previous 18 People of the Year issues:
Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
is made by volunteer leaders of a myriad of organizations who bring us together and create community.
2010: Brandie Balken Brandie Balken, who led Equality Utah as it successfully campaigned for ten municipalities to pass nondiscrimination ordinances across the state.
2013: Marian Edmonds Allen Marian Edmonds Allen grew OUTreach Resource Centers from Ogden-based to several locations in Northern Utah.
2004: Scott McCoy
2006: Larry H. Miller
Executive director of the Don’t Amend Alliance fighting against Utah’s Amendment 3 which banned, for a while, same-sex marriage in the state.
Former Utah Jazz owner Larry H. Miller for refusing to screen “Brokeback Mountain,” inspiring a community to rise up against him.
2005: 6 Utahns Utah Pride Center director Valerie Larabee, Utah Sen. Scott McCoy, Southern Utah Pride founders Amy Marie and Amy Selfridge, Salt Lake Gay Athletic Assn founder Mark Barr, Provo High School Gay/Straight Alliance founder Kaisha Medford.
2008: Thomas Monson LDS Church president Thomas S. Monson for getting the church involved in California’s Proposition 8, creating thousands of activists in Utah as a result.
2011: Sister Dottie S. Dixon, aka Charles Lynn Frost Every gay person growing up needed a Sister Dottie S. Dixon in their lives. Charles Lynn Frost’s character appealed to people all around LDS and LGBTQ culture.
2007: Ralph Becker Then Salt Lake City Mayor-elect Ralph Becker for steadfastly showing a bold plan for LGBTQ rights through his campaign even as KUTV’s Rod Decker warned of gay marriage in city hall.
2009: 3 Bold Women Former Salt Lake City Councilperson Deeda Seed, then-SLC Councilperson Jill Remington Love, and then-Salt Lake County Councilperson Jenny Wilson
2012: Volunteer Leaders The most significant effect on LGBTQ Utahns
2014: Those who brought marriage Equality to Utah Plaintiffs and leaders in the lawsuit that brought Judge Robert Shelby’s decision to overturn Utah’s anti-same-sex marriage laws.
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PEOPLE OF THE YEAR | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15
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2018: Rob Moolman
same-sex marriage laws.
Executive director of the Utah Pride Center who immediately reached out to the community, initially bringing respect back to the center.
2015: LDS Leaders
2016: Misty Snow
2017: Carol Gnade
Church officials met in private with several LGBTQ leaders through the year and crafted what is now called the “Utah Compromise” in passing nondiscrimination laws in the state.
The first openly-transgender person to run for a statewide office, Misty Snow brought visibility and open discussion to Utahns.
In a tumultuous year for the Utah Pride Center, Carol Gnade stepped in and steadied the boat.
2020: Those holding a community together during a pandemic 2019: Mark Lawrence The man with the vision, the tenacity, and the bull-headedness to create Restore Our Humanity, the group that overturned Utah’s Anti-
Utah Pride Center’s Deb Hall and John Johnson, Project Rainbow’s Dallas Rivas, Harrison Spendlove, Bonnie O’Brien and Kate Rusk, Ben Morgan and Cody Scott, Gene Gieber, Michael Repp and Riley Richter. Q
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16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS
views
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
quotes “Technically I would say that I am pansexual because that’s how I have always been my whole life is just like, my human is my human.” —JoJo Siwa on TikTok
“People will ask, ‘Why does this even need to be talked about?’ and personally, I agree with that. But for me to show up at an awards show with a man would be jaw-dropping to people. It wouldn’t be like, ‘Oh, cool!’” —T.J. Osborne, lead vocalist in the country music group Brothers Osborne
“I also don’t know if I’m going to end up with a guy, so I can’t really see myself maybe getting pregnant. I’m so fluid now — and a part of the reason why I am so fluid is because I was super closed off.” — Demi Lovato
“You wanna know what’s new about me? I finally know I’m a lesbian.” — Kehlani
“I fully identify as bisexual. I literally just got goosebumps saying that. It feels so good to talk about it, it feels so good to finally be comfortable with it” —“9-1-1: Lone Star” actor Ronen Rubinstein
JANUARY, 2022 |
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Issue 331 | Qsaltlake.com
guest editorial
Supporting LGBTQ+ youth is supporting life BY BEKAH WRIGLEY, JESSICA ROUNDY, AND BRE CASO
According
to the Utah Department of Health, Utah has one of the highest suicide rates in the nation. It is the sixth-leading cause of death among adults, as well as the leading cause of death among youth ages 10–17. The risk of suicide is even greater among Utah’s LGBTQ+ population. A 2020 study found a significant difference in suicidal ideation and suicide attempts between heterosexual and non-heterosexual Utah residents. The rate of suicidal ideation among heterosexuals was 3.5 percent, while the rate among sexual minorities was 14.7 percent. Correspondingly, the lifetime prevalence of one or more suicide attempts among heterosexuals was found to be 5.8 percent, while the rate among sexual minorities was 37.2 percent. In essence, lifetime suicide attempts among sexual minorities are six times more likely [in Utah], which, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, surpasses the national average wherein sexual minorities are only three times as likely to attempt suicide. Why are suicide rates for sexual minorities so high in Utah? According to the Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition, rejection plays a major role in suicide rates among LGBTQ+ teens. Those experiencing rejection from caregivers are more than eight times as likely to attempt suicide than those who experience little to no rejection. In seeking to identify what might make Utah unique in terms of attitude toward sexual minorities, many point towards Utah’s most unique demographic — religious identification. According to the World Population Review, approximately 68% of Utahns identify as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
While identifying with the LDS faith does not necessarily require a rejection of sexual minorities, the LDS Church has demonstrated a historically tense relationship with sexual minorities. This is evidenced by a series of policies that prohibit sexual minorities — and occasionally those associated with them — from engaging in the full range of activities associated with church membership. For instance, it was only as of April 4, 2019, that the church announced that it would no longer consider same-sex marriage as apostasy and that children of LGBTQ+ parents may be baptized. While Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency of the church stated that these changes were established with the intent to increase compassion and reduce contention, he persisted to reiterate that same-sex marriage is “still considered a serious transgression.” This policy change may be an improvement from outright condemnation of LGBTQ+ individuals, yet it remains a far cry from acceptance. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a high-profile member of the church and a former president of Brigham Young University, spoke out in August about the difficult relationship between BYU (a church-sponsored institution) and same-sex relationships. He described symbols of same-sex love as “divisive,” “a slippery slope,” and “a threat to the unity” of the church. Like Oaks, he explained that his argument was based in compassion yet was careful to reinforce that compassion does not negate the church’s disavowal of same-sex relationships. In a state where there is such conflict over the very concept of queerness, how do we protect LGBTQ+ individuals? Protective factors such as affirming communities, inclusive curriculum in schools, and access to mental health
services should be adopted across the state. Creating safe spaces in schools and promoting positive LGBTQ+ messages is one of the most effective ways to support LGBTQ+ youth. According to a 2021 research brief by The Trevor Project, “LGBTQ+ youth in affirming schools had nearly a 40% lower chance of attempting suicide compared to LGBTQ+ youth in non-affirming schools.” The importance of acceptance and belonging is detailed in a study by Toomey, Ryan, Diaz, and Russell in 2012 that showed that schools with a gay-straight alliance club exhibited better treatment of LGBTQ+ youth and greater school connectedness and safety. It should be a priority in other youth settings, such as extracurricular groups, health institutions, and churches, to create a greater sense of belonging for LGBTQ+ kids. Adults should also ensure that youth have access to affirming mental health services, but in instances where this is not the case, LGBTQ+ youth can receive 24/7 counselor support through the Trevor Project. To help Utah become a safer place for LGBTQ+ youth: write to the state school board to include positive messages about the LGBTQ+ community in the school curriculum and to adopt Safe Schools Initiatives (just like New Mexico schools in 2019), and vote for board members who will be LGBTQ+ advocates. Volunteer in your community at organizations such as Encircle, or donate to the Utah Pride Center. Lastly, inspire change within your church community through meaningful dialogue or wearing a pride pin at gatherings. No matter your faith, supporting LGBTQ+ youth is supporting life. Q Bekah Wrigley, Jessica Roundy and Bre Caso are graduate students in social work at the University of Utah.
18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS
lambda lore
The historic cultures of west Second South BY BEN WILLIAMS
For nearly
25 years, west Second South was a vibrant street within the Gay community of that period. The city blocks 63 and 64, which bordered the street between modern Fifth West and Sixth West, however, had a colorful history before Gay Bars began to locate there. Multiple generations of men, women and some children played out their entire lives on that street and a multitude of other people called the blocks their temporary home; frequenting the various lodging houses, saloons, and bordellos. West Second South Street is filled with phantoms of past lives of hard-working, hard-drinking, mostly single men and “soiled doves”; a euphemism for the sex workers, all of which are not normally recorded in local Salt Lake City histories but nevertheless they were there if one takes the time to look. While this section of Second South today is designated as “Old Greek Town,” it was filled with such a diversity of ethnicity found nowhere else in Salt Lake City. Census records show that among the many Greeks who lived in the area, there were also Italians, Syrians, Lebanese, Chinese, Japanese, and Mexicans. The lodging houses on Second South were also some of the few places in Salt Lake City where African Americans could reside. Salt Lake City reconfigured its west side street names in the mid-Twentieth Century and the original “Fourth West and Fifth West” became “Fifth West and Sixth West” of modern times. This is an important distinction for any historical research of the area as City Blocks 63 and 64 are bounded east to west by these streets. Early Salt Lake City Newspaper newspapers only cite Fourth West and Fifth West when reporting on incidents of deaths, suicides, fights, robberies, and rowdy behaviors among the mostly masculine population living in Blocks
63 and 64 of West Second South. As residents and businesses expanded on the street, addresses were also realigned. For example, the Denver
Beer Hall, built in 1888 and replaced by the Albany Hotel and Saloon, was on the northwest corner of Sixth West and Second South in Block 63. The address changed from 579 West to 599 West and then later back to 579 West. Until the building was demolished in 2021, a saloon, beer tavern, a Gay bar, a dance club, and a music venue were on that spot for over 130 years. The site of 579 West was the Three Aces Bar in the 1940s, owned by the granddaughter of James Hegney and her husband. It existed for nearly forty years. Over the last 35 years, various venues existed at this spot. More recently the club “Bottoms Up,” which had to close due to Covid19 restrictions on social gathering in 2020, was located at this address. The old building was demolished in 2021 and is currently a construction site for a new high-rise apartment complex. Over the decades, the sordid reputation of West Second South allowed gay bars to thrive in a part of the city
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
where they could exist, basically sight unseen. The In-Between was the first to specifically cater to a Gay clientele on block 63, with a notice on the front door at 579 West that it was a Gay Establishment and if offended stay out. It was west of The Sun Club that had relocated from Fourth West and South Temple to 700 West Second South in 1982. Coincidently both properties once were developed by James Hegney as locations of saloons. The Sun Club was originally the Kozy Saloon and the
In-Between was once the Albany Saloon. Former Salt Lake Tribune owner Phil McCarthey’s family once owned most of Block 64 from First South to Second South, between 500 West and 600 West. Looking to the north side of Second South within Block 64 few can imagine that the middle of the block at about 544 West once contained a street called Electric Avenue, the entrance to a walled compound called the Stockade. The Stockade was Salt Lake City’ official “Red Light” District which existed from about 1908 to 1912. In 2005 McCarthy at one time wanted to create “a smaller version of Tivoli, the famous amusement area in the heart of Copenhagen. He imagined, “It would be a place with restaurants and shops and green space and a Ferris wheel. Plans were derailed when the McCarthey fought and failed to retain control of The Salt Lake Tribune. A Gay bar and dance club called Backstreet was established on the
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northeast corner of block 64, at 108 South Fifth West which later became Club 108, Kings, Club Axis, and Club Utopia. Today it is the site of an apartment complex called Gateway505. Just to the east at 528 West on Second South, now a vacant lot was the three-story Macedonia Hotel complex which over its 70 years went by a variety of names and owners. It notably was the first location of Salt Lake City’s Mexican Civic Center in the 1940s and later still, a hotel that accommodated African American travelers passing through Utah in the 1950s. Gone are any remnants of the Mormon Pioneers who laid out Blocks 63 and 64 and were the street’s first inhabitants. They were eventually replaced by the Chinese, Irish, Italian, and Greek workers of the Rio Grande Western trainyards. The Greek stayed for about 20 years owning saloons, cigar shops, coffee houses, and cafes. Gone are the Japanese who came afterward, and owned the rooming houses and laundries. Gone too are the Mexican cafes and the African American Jazz clubs. Gone also are the houses of ill fame, prostitution, and gambling joints that made the Second South eventually associated with vice of all kinds. The last remanent of the old Stockade Compound, the Citizens Investment Building that once housed a Gay dance club was demolished in 2021 to make room for another high-rise apartment complex. That brick structure was built for Mrs. Dora B Topham, aka Belle London a famous Ogden Madam, as the entrance to the Stockade Salt Lake’s Red-Light District. The building in the 2000s was the location of a Gay bar called the Metro and later the Orbit Café, a restaurant and dance club. With the demolition of 579 West, 544 West, and 108 South, gone are the Gay clubs that helped bring a sense of community and belonging in an often-hostile world. It is doubtful that any stretch of street in Salt Lake City had the cultural, ethnic, racial, and sexual orientation diversity as was found on Second South between Fifth West and Sixth West on city blocks 63 and 64. Q
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who’s your daddy
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A year to remember BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS
On Jan. 6,
I was work-
ing from home when I heard Kelly calling to me from the living room. “You’re going to want to see this,” he said — a mix of confusion and concern in his voice. I walked in to see former President Donald Trump addressing a crowd of his supporters, encouraging them to march on the Capitol. Shortly after, I saw an insurrection, an attempted coup d’état, as the mob invaded the very symbol of our democracy and called for the lynch-
ing of the vice president. I thought it was going to be a really bad year. But 2021 actually ended up being pretty great for gay people and LGBTQ+ parents. The delayed Olympic flame was finally lit in Tokyo, and a record 180-plus out LGBTQ+ athletes competed, earning a combined 32 medals. Among those that brought home the gold was gay dad Tom Daley. The entire world saw his husband and son react to his win. (And how adorable was Tom knitting a cozy for his medal?) Speaking of history-making
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gay dads, 2021 saw Pete and Chasten Buttigieg welcome twins Penelope and Joseph (aka Gus). As Secretary of Transportation, Buttigieg is the highest-ranking LGBTQ+ person ever confirmed to a Cabinet position by the U.S. Senate. In a win for dads of all stripes, he also served as a great role model by taking paternity leave. There was some surprising news for would-be parents as well. Bethany Christian Services, the largest Christian adoption organization in the country, decided to begin placing kids with queer parents across the 32 states in which it operates — ending 75 years of exclusion. The closet door was also kicked wide open by a boatload of gay celebrities, safe in the new reality that being openly LGBTQ+ is no longer a career-killing move. In the world of sports, Carl Nassib, a defensive end for the Las Vegas Raiders, became the first active NFL player to come out. (Former San Francisco 49er David Kopay was one of the first professional athletes to come out way back in 1975 but had retired from football three years prior. Michael Sam, was drafted in 2014 by the St. Louis Rams but was cut from the team before the season started.) In a sign of the changing times, Nassib says he has received nothing but love and support from his teammates.
One other rough and tumble jock came out this year: Luke Prokop. The 19-year-old Canadian is an NHL defenseman under contract with the Nashville Predators. He is the very first hockey player to announce he’s gay. In a sport that isn’t known for its gentlemanly behavior, it’s reassuring to hear that he hasn’t heard a single homophobic slur tossed his way and that he enjoys the unequivocal support of the NHL, the Predators, and his fellow players. There were other great achievements this year, of course. Lance Bass became a dad, Elvira and Utah’s own David Archuleta both came out. And Lil Nas X got five Grammy nominations, including Best Song for MONTERO — “Call Me by Your Name” — with its unapologetic lyrics about gay sex. In the end, I stayed up late the evening of January 6 and the early morning of January 7 watching Vice President Mike Pence certify the election results — even as some Congressmen continued to lodge false protests. When it was over, I felt a sense of renewed optimism for the year. All the progress and the milestones enjoyed by LGBTQ+ Americans in 2021 proved my positivity was well-deserved. Hopefully 2022 will be an even better — and less eventful — year for us all. Happy New Year, everyone. Q
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creep of the month
VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21
Neil Gorsuch
A lot of
BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI
people are dead in this country. In two years, more than 800,000 people have died as a result of COVID-19, and yet we still have folks declaring it their God given right to get Covid and spread it to as many people as they want to. If we were to have a moment of silence for each of these 800,000 people, one minute of silence for each person would last for over 555 days. That’s a year and a half of silence. But there’s no chance of such silence as it will inevitably be broken by someone screaming about being asked to wear a mask at their kid’s middle school band concert, or on an airplane, or while visiting a sick person in the hospital. It’s truly staggering how politicized what is a very straightforward public health issue has become. Here in Michigan, hospitals are overwhelmed, a very shitty Christmas present to the “Healthcare Heroes” we were all hailing a year or two ago. Now they’re being assaulted at work over Covid restrictions by patients and their families. We have Republican elected officials who have compared mask wearing to the Holocaust. Trump’s acolytes booing him when he says he got a Covid booster (because OF COURSE HE DID. He doesn’t want to die. But he’s been pushing vaccine and Covid disinfo because he DGAF if you do). And whatever the hell this is. Thankfully the Supreme Court will step in and save us from ourselves, right? Ha. No. Not with the conservative majority currently in place. First the good news: New York has a vaccine mandate for health care workers. And the bad news: A group of health care workers sued because the mandate doesn’t have a religious exemption. More good news: The Supreme Court told them to get poked. And more bad news: Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito and Neil Gorsuch dissented, meaning they would
rather have the court side with the folks suing New York. This isn’t a surprise, as these are three especially conservative justices. But Gorsuch cited the Supreme Court ruling in the Masterpiece Cakeshop case in his dissent. Gorsuch’s argument was basically that if it’s okay for cake bakers to turn away LGBTQ+ people due to their deeply held religious beliefs that LGBTQ+ people are garbage, then health care workers should have the right to refuse the vaccine due to their deeply held beliefs that their patients are garbage? That science is garbage? That government is garbage? That vaccines are witchcraft? All of the above? Gorsuch writes that “the government must demonstrate that its law is narrowly tailored to serve a compelling state interest.” He says they’ve failed to do so. Apparently, preventing people from dying is not “a compelling state interest.” Says a guy who claims to be pro-life. Why does this matter? Because it’s an indication that Gorsuch is predisposed to ruling in favor of so-called “religious freedom,” whether it makes sense or not. As we all know, this religious freedom claim is used over and over again by people who don’t think they need to treat LGBTQ+ people as fully human. And while it’s not a surprise that Gorsuch would be into that kind of thing, it’s a bummer to have confirmation of such fears. And when I say “so-called religious beliefs,” I’m not saying that religious beliefs that are sincerely held don’t exist. I’m saying that religious beliefs seem to get awfully strong when they support what people already want to do, such as telling gay customers to get lost or refusing a life-saving vaccine that benefits society at large. On Twitter, political commentator Lindy Li called bullshit on Gorsuch’s claim that making people get vaccines came out of a “fear and anger at those who harbor unpopular religious beliefs.” “Those transparently insincere
beliefs aren’t religious,” Li writes. “They’re the ravings of an ignorant deluded base fed lies by the people who put Gorsuch in power.” But even the rantings of braindead MAGAites are gospel when those rantings promote the conservative agenda Gorsuch wants to push. And it’s garbage. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.
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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QUEER GUIDE TO SUNDANCE
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
QUEER GUIDE TO SUNDANCE 2022
Sundance Film Festival released its 2022 lineup and we found many offerings that will be of interest to the LGBTQ community for our annual Queer Guide to Sundance The festival takes place in-person and online Jan. 20–30. Tickets will go on sale to the public on Dec. 17. The Festival announced the locals-only opportunity Local Lens program providing new and returning film lovers who live in Utah free or discounted screenings. Festival Director Tabitha Jackson says their filmmakers “value and enjoy the chance to get to know our local Festival community up close and personal.” She says this year will give Utahns a wide range of options in how they choose to attend the festival, whether it be in person or online. For Utahns interested in attending the whole festival, there will be a 20 percent discount available through January 3. The package includes ten in-person tickets for screenings during the festival. People who attend the festival must be fully vaccinated against COVID-19 at least two weeks prior to the event. Masks will also be required inside and in lines.
The
FEATURE/PREMIERE
AM I OK?
DIRECTORS: STEPHANIE ALLYNNE, TIG NOTARO SCREENWRITER: LAUREN POMERANTZ
Lucy and Jane have been best friends for most of their lives and think they know everything there is to know about each other. But when Jane announces she’s moving to London, Lucy reveals a long-held secret. As Jane tries to help Lucy, their friendship is thrown into chaos.
FEATURE
DOS ESTACIONES
DIRECTOR: JUAN PABLO GONZÁLEZ SCREENWRITERS: JUAN PABLO GONZÁLEZ, ANA ISABEL FERNÁNDEZ, ILANA COLEMAN
María García, the last local owner of a tequila plant in a small Mexican town faces the impending collapse of her empire, as her queer hairdresser carves out a space for himself among the conservative townspeople. Amid picturesque red dirt, blue sky, and green agave fields stands Dos Estaciones, a once-majestic tequila factory struggling to stay afloat. At the helm of the plant reigns Maria Garcia, heir to the family business and beacon to the townspeople she employs. To help oversee the company’s administration, Maria appoints an eager woman named Rafaela, whose vibrant presence generates much-needed hope in a home thirsty for a miracle. When a persistent plague and an unexpected flood cause irreversible damage,
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Maria is forced to do everything she can to save her community’s main source of economy and pride. With a camera that floats effortlessly through the hills of Jalisco’s highlands, writer-director Juan Pablo González reflects on the values of ritual, tradition, and artistry as he lovingly captures the painstaking process of making an artisanal bottle of tequila. But it’s Teresa Sánchez’s standout performance that radiates the essence of the film: a strong-willed woman refusing to allow the impending loss of her legacy as foreign corporations dominate her industry.
FEATURE
FRAMING AGNES
DIRECTOR: CHASE JOYNT SCREENWRITER: CHASE JOYNTMORGAN M PAGE
Agnes, the pioneering, pseudonymized, transgender woman who participated in Harold Garfinkel’s gender health research at UCLA in the 1960s, has long stood as a figurehead of trans history. In this rigorous cinematic exercise that blends fiction and nonfiction, director Chase Joynt explores where and how her platform has become a pigeonhole. Framing Agnes endeavors to widen the frame through which trans history is viewed — one that has remained too narrow to capture the multiplicity of experiences eclipsed by Agnes’. Through a collaborative practice of reimagination, an impressive lineup of trans stars (Zackary Drucker, Angelica Ross, Jen Richards, Max Wolf Valerio, Silas Howard, and Stephen Ira) take on vividly rendered, impeccably vintage reenactments, bringing to life groundbreaking artifacts of trans healthcare. Joynt’s signature form-rupturing style radically reenvisions the imposition of the frame on the cultural memory of transness through his brilliantly crafted, communally-driven excavation. This reclamation tears away with remarkable precision the myth of isolation as the mode of existence of transgender history-makers, breathing new life into a lineage of collaborators and conspirators who have been forgotten for far too long.
FEATURE
GIRL PICTURE
DIRECTOR: ALLI HAAPASALO SCREENWRITERS: ILONA AHTI, DANIELA HAKULINEN
Best friends Mimmi and Rönkkö work after school at a foodcourt smoothie kiosk, frankly swapping stories of their frustrations and expectations regarding love and sex. Volatile misfit Mimmi, unexpectedly swept up in the thrill of a new romance with Emma (a driven skater training for the European championships), struggles to adjust to the trust and compromise required by a lasting relationship. Meanwhile, the offbeat, indefatigable Rönkkö hits the teen party scene, stumbling through a series of awkward encounters with members of the opposite sex while hoping to find her own version of satisfaction. Girl Picture manifests its uninhibited characters’ youthful energy and smartly centers the chemistry between its three terrific leads. Within the film’s tender, funny exploration of the fears and confusions of discovering one’s identity and sexuality, a refreshingly positive portrait of the power of female friendship emerges. Writers Daniela Hakulinen and Ilona Ahti consistently present the film’s teen protagonists as complex individuals, while director Alli Haapasalo, rather than aestheticizing the girls’ femininity, vibrantly depicts their trials and tribulations through their own eyes.
president. A lower-middle-class Black family, they feel the strain of their new reality as the political dust settles. Tércia, the mother, reinterprets her world after an unexpected encounter leaves her wondering if she’s cursed. Her husband, Wellington, puts all of his hopes into the soccer career of their son, Deivinho, who reluctantly follows his father’s ambitions despite secretly aspiring to study astrophysics and colonize Mars. Meanwhile, their older daughter, Eunice, falls in love with a free-spirited young woman and ponders whether it’s time to leave home. Writer-director Gabriel Martins weaves a tender and uplifting tapestry of a Brazilian family whose affection for each other is palpable in every frame, mining his delightful cast for authentic performances brimming with humor and charm. Delicately balancing its characters as they find themselves and their country at a crossroads, Marte Um (Mars One) invites us to dream beyond the stars.
SERIES
MY TRIP TO SPAIN
CINEMATOGRAPHER: ARLENE MULLER DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: THEDA HAMMEL
Alexis, a successful trans woman, is heading to Spain for cosmetic surgery. Her embittered old friend Charlie arrives to house sit while she’s away. During the handoff, he tries his best to convince her to cancel, while simultaneously pursuing a sexual liaison with her brooding gardener Bruno.
FEATURE
MARTE UM (MARS ONE)
DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: GABRIEL MARTINS
The Martins family are optimistic dreamers, quietly leading their lives in the margins of a major Brazilian city following the disappointing inauguration of a far-right extremist
FEATURE
SIRENS
DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: RITA BAGHDADI
True to their name, Slave to Sirens — the first and only all-woman thrash metal band in the Middle East — are utterly magnetic.
24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QUEER GUIDE TO SUNDANCE
Amid a backdrop of political unrest and the heartbreaking unraveling of Beirut, five bandmates form a beacon of expression, resistance, and independence. Director Rita Baghdadi follows founders and guitarists Lilas Mayassi and Shery Bechara as their tenderness, and sometimes bitterness, for one another grows in ways both unexpected and deeply moving. Joined by vocalist Maya Khairallah, bassist Alma Doumani, and drummer Tatyana Boughaba, these women negotiate their emotional journeys through young adulthood in tumultuous circumstances with grace, raw passion, and a ferocious commitment to their art. Their grit is tested as they grapple with the complexities of friendship, sexuality, and the destruction around them. Sirens is Rita Baghdadi’s third documentary feature. Acting as director, producer, and cinematographer, her singular vision is gentle yet emotionally powerful. Her film and its incredible subjects are inspirations to all who seek light through darkness.
Activated through the power of augmented reality, witness as Te Kore is manifested into the physical realm as a cosmic being, forged of ancestral memory and adorned in cultural navigation. Become immersed in an expansive tale of time and space, in this intimate user experience that reframes Pacific cosmology through a Queer Indigenous lens.
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
grandmother assumes that her nonna disapproves of her. Instead, she discovers a tender bond in their shared vulnerability.
SHORT
BUGCRUSH
ANNIVERSARY SHORT DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: CARTER SMITH
A small-town high school loner’s fascination with a dangerously seductive new kid leads him into something much more sinister than he ever could have imagined.
SHORT
GREETINGS FROM AFRICA
ANNIVERSARY SHORT DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: CHERYL DUNYE
A candid view of the state of things in 1990s lesbian dating.
SHORT
575 CASTRO ST.
ANNIVERSARY SHORT DIRECTOR: JENNI OLSON
Set to the original audio cassette recorded by Harvey Milk in November 1977 to be played “in the event of my death by assassination.”
SHORT
EGÚNGÚN (MASQUERADE)
DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: OLIVE NWOSU
In search of healing, a young woman returns home to her birthplace: Lagos, Nigeria.
SHORT
SHORT
HOLD UP Anniversary Short
DIRECTOR: MADELEINE OLNEK SCREENWRITERS: JEN HECK, CYNTHIA KAPLAN, NANCY GILES, DENNIS DAVIS, MADELEINE OLNEK
A robber is after more than money at a convenience store holdup.
A WILD PATIENCE HAS TAKEN ME HERE
DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: ÉRICA SARMET
NEW FRONTIER: PROJECT
ATUA
ARTISTS: TANU GAGO, JERMAINE DEAN
If your gods could whisper in your ear, what would they say? ATUA reimagines the realm of Pacific gods in this sculptural AR experience that claims space for gender diverse identities impacted by colonial first contact, and creates an intimate portal for users to see themselves reflected as vital to their cultural heritage and an intrinsic part of the cosmos. Enabled through handheld devices, the ATUA experience begins with Te Kore, the void — a space of abundance and limitless potential.
Tired of loneliness, a middle-aged motorcyclist goes to a lesbian party for the first time. There she meets four young queers who share their home and affections. A wild patience has taken me here is an encounter of generations and a tribute to those who brought us here.
SHORT
F^¢K ‘€M R!GHT B@¢K DIRECTOR: HARRIS DORAN
A queer, Black, aspiring Baltimore rapper must outwit his vengeful day-job boss in order to avoid getting fired after accidentally eating an edible.
SHORT
FOR NONNA ANNA
ANNIVERSARY SHORT DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: LUIS DE FILIPPIS
A trans girl caring for her Italian
SHORT
LA CORONA (THE CROWN)
ANNIVERSARY SHORT DIRECTORS: AMANDA MICHELI, ISABEL VEGA
Female murderers compete ferociously for a beauty pageant crown in prison.
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SHORT
SHORT
MAKASSAR IS A CITY FOR FOOTBALL FANS
TREVOR
In a city where men have to go crazy about football, Akbar has to pretend to love the game in order to prevent rejection from his new college friends.
A poignant and liberating look at a 13-year-old as he begins to discover his sexual identity.
DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: KHOZY RIZAL
SHORT
PRAYERS FOR SWEET WATERS
DIRECTOR: ELIJAH NDOUMBE
Stories intersect across vivid realities and dreamscapes to submerge us into the worlds of three transgender sex workers living in Cape Town, South Africa during the COVID-19 pandemic.
QUEER GUIDE TO SUNDANCE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25
801-308-2050
www.jonjepsen.com
ANNIVERSARY SHORT DIRECTOR: PEGGY RAJSKI SCREENWRITER: JAMES AKA CELESTE LECESNE
SHORT
WARSHA
DIRECTOR: DANIA BDEIR
A Syrian migrant working as a crane operator in Beirut volunteers to cover a shift on one of the most dangerous cranes, where he is able to find his freedom.
SHORT
SHORT
STARFUCKERS
WORK
DIRECTOR: APRIL MAXEY
DIRECTOR AND SCREENWRITER: ANTONIO MARZIALE
An intimate evening between a film director and an escort is disrupted when a familiar face arrives.
Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
Philemon Chambers, breakout star of Netflix’s ‘Single All the Way’ on being merry about his gay new rom-com role BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI
Philemon
Chambers can’t believe he’s in a queer Christmas movie. It’s the kind Chambers, recently named “Next Big Thing” by the Hollywood Reporter, could only dream of watching when he was a little queer boy growing up in Compton, California. Then, Black queer characters in mainstream film and TV didn’t exist, and when they finally did, those characters were in the closet or shamed for being out of the closet. Much has changed since for Chambers, and for the better. Now, the 27-year-old actor, who could previously be seen in small TV roles on “Criminal Minds” and “All Rise,” is the change he always hoped to see in “Single All the Way,” Netflix’s addition to the LGBTQ+ holiday romcom boom of the last couple of years. Here, queerness is incidental to the sweet, marshmallow center of this love story. In the film, Chambers plays the adorably likable Nick, who accompanies
his roommate and longtime friend, Peter (Michael Urie of “Ugly Betty”), on a trip home for the holidays to see Peter’s family in New Hampshire. It’s an especially kind gesture given Peter has recently learned that his boyfriend is married to a woman. Though Peter’s mom (Kathy Najimy) desperately wants to connect her newly single son with James (Luke Macfarlane), the rest of the family does everything in their power to help Peter and Nick see they’re more than just friends. Recently, Chambers chatted about the humbling responses he’s received about “Single All the Way” from LGBTQ+ people around the world, how he and Urie developed their chemistry over Zoom, and the message he hopes the movie delivers to young Black queer kids. This seems like a really big moment for you. Does it feel that way? It still is a euphoric type of moment. I’m not overwhelmed because it’s a good feeling to finally have this film out ‘cause we’ve been talking
about it for such a long time. To have it out and to see the response that people are having toward it and the love that it’s garnering — wow, I’m gobsmacked. What’s it like to be a part of the queer Christmas streaming movie boom that started last year? It’s nice that these types of stories are being told and that they’re being told authentically by queer [and] gay actors. It’s monumental in that respect because usually they hire a heterosexual actor to portray a gay character. So it’s not an accurate depiction of them, of us. It’s not. I feel like the films that were released, we needed them at that time. But we really need “Single All the Way.” “Single All the Way” is the first film of its kind to not hold onto the homophobia and not hold onto any negativity. It is pure joy, pure love, pure happiness. And I’m glad that we’re moving in this direction. I can’t wait to see what happens and what comes from it.
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Are you and Michael sharing in the splendor of what being a part of this movie feels like right now? Me and Michael actually had like a 15-, 20-minute conference last night just about how much love we are getting. Everybody is loving Peter and Nick. Everyone is loving the story. And I could not imagine doing this and going through this with anybody else other than Michael Urie. He is such a gem. But yes, we talk literally every day. He’ll respond to me when he wants to respond to me, ‘cause I know I’m a little bit annoying. I watched this with my mom, and it was a powerful thing to be able to watch something with her that’s authentic to my experience as a gay man. Even my mom, she was like, “Oh, I’m gonna watch this film so many times.” And I was just like, “OK, you’re gonna watch it ‘cause I’m in it. We get it.” And she’s just like, “No. It’s just a really good story.” She was just like, “I love that it’s not about the characters being gay. It’s about the character finding love, about the family wanting the character to be in a relationship no matter who it is.” It’s nice to have something like this where you don’t, again, see that homophobia, you don’t see the negativity behind it. But you see a family rallying behind their son. I feel like that is so monumental to have. I got a Twitter DM yesterday from a gentleman; he lives in a different country. And he was saying where he is, it is a crime to be gay. He watched the film and he had said for the first time he felt like he had been seen. And that gave him hope. That must mean a tremendous amount to you. I cried. It means a lot to me that it’s affecting people in the way that it affected me. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to stand in the forefront for people and be that conduit. Like I said in another interview, Nick made me accept myself even more. In what ways did playing the character make you feel more comfortable with your sexuality? It’s different when your life is private. It is such a difference when you’re not in [the] public eye, when people really don’t know who you are. It’s easier to live your life how you wanna live your life. You can go out. You can be with your boyfriend or your girlfriend, whatever. But there is a difference when now you are in [the] spotlight and
people are trying to figure out who you are, what you do, who you’re dating. I’m like, “Why do you wanna know who I’m dating?” I’m single. I do feel like I’m like Beyoncé — you know, the relationship is private until [points to his finger and motions putting a ring on it]. Just saying. I just feel like that’s a personal thing. But with accepting myself, I accepted myself. I did. If people would ask, I would tell them. But it was more the liberation that I got from playing Nick, because Nick is how I am with my family. My mom is just like, “OK, is this the boyfriend?” I’m like, “Mom, no. It is not. This is a friend.” When I got home and I really sat down and got to think about everything, I was like, this is the representation that I needed when I was a kid. And now I’m gonna have to talk to people about this and I’m able to now, versus before it was a touchier subject. I’m like, why not stand in the forefront? Why not be that vessel? Why not be that conduit to embrace fully who I am? I feel like as we get older, the idea of trying to put on for people should go away. I’m just at that point in my life where I genuinely love who I am. I owe a lot of it to Nick, in [the] sense of how he is and how the Harrison family was with him. It just showed that these types of things can be normal. Did Michael give you tips on navigating being out in the public eye? Michael gave me more tips on how to navigate the industry in a sense of just being an actor. He has been truly a blessing. So has Jennifer Robertson (as Lisa, Peter’s sister). So has Kathy Najimy (as Carole, Peter’s mom). So has Barry Bostwick (as Harold, Peter’s dad). Even Jennifer Coolidge (who plays Peter’s Aunt Sandy) has given me advice. Rookie amongst veterans. What advice did Jennifer Coolidge give you? And was there any bend and snap action on set? You said bend and snap? You talkin’ about [does a little snap]. Jennifer Coolidge, her advice was, “Have fun.” Jennifer Coolidge’s approach to everything — she does not know what she’s gonna do until she does it. The chemistry between you and Michael seemed so easy. The thing about being in a pandemic is everything is over Zoom. Me and Michael, we did our chemistry read over Zoom. And we had to give chemistry over Zoom, which is kind of
a tough thing to do because it’s hard to sometimes articulate. But honestly, when me and Michael started, everything clicked. It was an automatic thing. It was not forced. We were able to play off of each other over Zoom. I remember getting off of Zoom and going into my sister’s room and being like, “I don’t know what just happened, but I love it.” What does it mean to you to be a queer person of color playing this character? I echo this a lot: I am what I needed when I was younger. It’s one of those things where I still have my pinch me moments. To be at the forefront where there is a story out there for young Black men who are maybe questioning themselves or already know who they are, that is positive, that [says] you can come out, you can say these things, you can be yourself, and there is a family out there that will love you, genuinely and unconditionally for who you are — it still is one of those things where I am still taken aback, still humbled. I’m just very, very grateful to have this moment. I text my team every day — I even message Netflix [laughs] — And I’m like, “Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to be a vessel and to be a conduit.” It means the world to me. What about a sequel? There’s been talk, and you can tell me. This is a safe place. The non-answer answer to that is, Chris, if you must know, Netflix is amazing. And you know, there’s no telling what you’ll see from Nick and Peter. As much as I am interested in knowing what happens with Nick and Peter in a potential sequel, I am also interested in knowing what it means for them when it comes to Aunt Sandy’s annual pageant in New Hampshire. You know what? I feel like, if anything, what should happen is Nick and Peter should be in the pageant. We could do a whole little thing. We could act along with Aunt Sandy. I’m just saying. She’s a tough director. Do you think you have what it takes to be in her pageant? You know, I can scream. And I can remember my lines. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
Josie Totah Leads the Trans Charge on TV
The former Disney star talks LGBTQ+ relatability on ‘Saved by the Bell’ and what’s next for trans representation BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI
If you
were expecting more of the same from “Saved by the Bell” when Peacock revived the series in 2020, you wouldn’t just be mistaken — you’d be pleasantly surprised. A staple of TV for a generation of teens, the show, which originally ran from 1989 to 1993, has undergone a woke update that, this season, includes a powerful trans storyline. Yep, in 2021, Bayside High now naturally reflects the world as we know it. And so there’s Lexi, the popular girl who just happens to be transgender. No big deal. At least that’s how the show treats it, and how former Disney star Josie Totah, the 20-year-old trans actor known for roles on “Glee,” the NBC comedy “Champions” and the Disney Channel series “Jessie,” prefers it. Recently, Totah spoke about the important message for trans allies in the show’s latest season of “Saved by the Bell” and how she thinks trans representation on TV has finally started to depict transgender people in a relatable and authentic way.
This is not the “Saved by the Bell” I grew up with when it comes to LGBTQ+ representation. What does it mean to you to be a major part of that kind of representation on this more evolved and more queer-inclusive revival that’s far less hetero-centric than the original? It’s awesome. Our show is so funny, and we get to tell so many cool stories that [weren’t] told in the original that are [relevant] to conversations that we’re having today, that represent people who’ve been around since the inception of time. And it’s awesome. It’s such a privilege. Have you gone back and watched any original episodes of “Saved by the Bell”? I just wonder how you interpret the conversations that were being had then versus the conversations that are a part of this reimagining. Yeah, we went back and watched it as a cast. I mean, I had seen the show before just in its rerun phase in the early 2000s. I feel like that was a very big thing. I really based my character on the classic “Mean Girls” trope that we all know and love, and [I] flipped it on its head and gave her some surgery to make her very interesting and cool. Less stereotypically basic. Being a part of this show was so important to you that you put school off to be a part of it. Can you explain why? Well, I put school off, and then school put me off because the pandemic happened. So I was ahead of the curve, but I’m still in college. Somehow, I’m still graduating in May. [Showrunner Tracey Wigfield] told me that she had an idea of a character that she wrote for me, and I fell in love. We met up at a coffee shop in downtown L.A., and she’s just so cool. I love that woman so, so much, and that’s sort of how it happened. It’s one of the best opportunities I ever said yes to. As a producer, can you talk about what kind of input you’re giving when it comes to LGBTQ+ representation on the show, specifically as it pertains to Lexi? I got to sit in the writers’ room this season, which was so fun. I joined once or twice a week and sat in and had a great time. Just to get to be in the room with so many fantastic writers from so many different
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walks of life and getting to bring my own authentic journey and story to the show was awesome. And I think it [made] the story truer to real life and more entertaining because it was more unique, and there’s relatability. So getting to that was awesome, but also getting to be a part of the other stories that we get to tell, like Aisha [played by Alycia Pascual-Peña]; her journey through her life, particularly in episode seven, was super fun. I remember being in the writers’ room that week and getting to delve into that. Episode five blew my mind, especially as a fan of the original series. If I would’ve seen episode five when I was a kid, it would’ve changed my life. How did the idea to explore Lexi dealing with a really serious incident of transphobia evolve? Tracey has been very cool from the beginning and she’s just like, “We can talk about however much you wanna talk about when it comes to Lexi’s gender identity.” It was clear to us that we wanted to tell a story that sort of delved into her identity in a way that was more nuanced, that we hadn’t been able to come to last season, and that also sort of progressed her arc as a character outside of her gender identity. I just had my second COVID vaccine at the time in March when we were pitching different things of how we would tell this story, and someone came up with an idea for Lexi to write a play that would solve transphobia, which I think is literally the funniest thing in the entire world. It just is a ridiculously beautiful episode in that way, and it’s so funny. It deals with a really important societal issue — who carries the burden of having to make change for the trans community when transphobia happens? How did that resonate with you on a personal level? That’s just a very real thing when it comes to the burdening of trauma, and it’s crazy how people put the oppressed in charge of educating and solving things that everyone really should be working on. It was sick to get to tell it; it was very cool. And I’m glad that we show people probably how _not_ to be an asshole when it comes to things like that, and also how to be a better ally. By the end of the episode, Lexi realizes that she’s got real support in her peers. But you also have Slater, played by Mario Lopez, on your side. You’ve got Jessie on
your side. The original cast is advocating for you; they’re allies of the community, clearly. What kind of conversations did you have with the original cast concerning that episode when it came to any kind of LGBTQ+ issues and transphobia? None of the original cast, but Belmont [Cameli, as Jamie Spano], Dexter [Darden as Devante Young] and Alycia are some of my best friends in the entire world, and I’m so honored, particularly with Bel and Dex and Mitch Hoog [as Mac Morris], just to have three guys who are straight and cis and really understand me and see me for my full self and not just one part of me. But also recognizing that life is different for me. It’s so beautiful, and particularly with Bel and Dex just because they were in that episode the most. They’re just the most supportive guys ever. And I felt so loved and so privileged. It brought me to tears. We shared a lot of love, and I really felt like they were carrying me on their shoulders that week. It’s important for straight men to see that it’s cool when you stand up for people in the queer community. Yeah, it’s hot. What was your high school experience like? I mean, I went to a Catholic high school where I would call teachers by their first names and they’d be like, “Shut the hell up, sit down. My name is Sister Rebecca.” And I’d be like, “Becca.” I thought that I was really cool, but I wasn’t. [I was] kind of just this kid who people knew from the Disney Channel and they’re like, “That’s that weirdo.” Yeah, I was crazy, but I met two of my best friends there, and we’re still best friends to this day, and we survived. I think if you can survive Catholic high school with people, you’re with them forever. But also it was an awesome Catholic high school, I will say. Very supportive of gender diversity and sexual orientation, and they were very cool. I was very, very privileged to not have a toxic experience. I grew up Catholic too, and you don’t hear that very often about the Catholic experience. You really don’t, but they always told me, “Boo boo, like, you might be weird, but God created you. So we blame him and not you. And you’re meant to be who you’re meant to be.” There’s obviously been so much talk over the years concerning trans representation. How can we improve the representation
of trans characters in TV and film? And how do you think Lexi advances trans representation in a positive way? First and foremost, it’s played by me, an actual trans person, which obviously is unfortunately revolutionary since so many of our stories have been appropriated and have been told by people who have no idea what the trans experience is like and have surrounded it with [the] negativity of violence. Also, I’m a producer, which is sick. Like, that’s amazing because I think it speaks to the authenticity in front of and behind the camera, which is very, very important. I’m not just being tokenized; I’m being listened to and I’m being valued, and it does change the show. It makes it better in my opinion, at least I’d hope, because it makes it more authentic. And I think that’s sort of the goal, right? Not just placing people in these positions to sort of fill a diversity hire, but valuing their experience and capitalizing on their experience and their willingness to share for the benefit of the story, which is awesome. It makes our show so good. Like you mentioned, so many trans narratives are told through the lens of trans struggle. That’s important, but it’s also important to tell other stories too, because we’re fully encompassing human beings. Do you see a change in how Hollywood is representing trans people that isn’t focused on trans struggle? I think we’re turning a corner, but I wanna see a trans romcom of a girl starring in her own movie and living her best life. I wanna see an undercover spy movie where a trans girl has to travel to Bulgaria and take down a drug heist. There are so many different realms that I wanna see and I’m going to do. And I’m so excited that I get to be young and able and afforded that opportunity to throw my hat in the ring. I’m grateful that I’m living in this time, and I’m also excited to hopefully be able to tell other trans stories and other stories of people of color and people from different marginalized communities too, and highlighting their own journeys as well, which I think is very important. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.
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Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
Jennifer Tilly on the ‘Chucky’ series and its killer queer affirmations BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI
Chucky
is no Harvey Milk, but the killer doll with fire-red hair from openly gay creator Don Mancini is, at least, a good queer-affirming dad. Dad, you ask? Let’s back up: So, yes, Chucky, Mancini’s terrifying brainchild, is the doll that made his debut in 1988’s “Child’s Play,” killing lots of people in really terrible, gruesome ways. He fell in love with another doll, named Tiffany Valentine (played by “Bound” actress Jennifer Tilly, who also plays herself in the franchise), and the two of them — stay with me — had a child, named Glen/ Glenda, who is genderfluid and queer. For years, Mancini has left his queer mark on the series, especially in “Seed of Chucky,” but Syfy’s “Chucky” is special in that it doesn’t treat queerness as a spectacle — there’s a sweet gay teen love story at the center, while Chucky, as chillingly wise-cracky as ever, still does his psychopathic killing thing. Chucky even tells the series’ protagonist, Jake, a high schooler struggling with his sexuality and his father’s homophobic behavior, that he’s on his side (to a point, that is; you know how manipulative Chucky can be). After all, Chucky himself has a queer kid. Representation is representation, even if it’s in plastic product form. Tilly has a meaty multiple-episode role in “Chucky,” and she makes one helluva
entrance — in bed, with Fiona Dourif (the daughter of Brad Dourif, the voice of Chucky), who plays Nica and is possessed by Chucky. Here, Tilly talks about the series’ casual queerness, her gay icon roots and the major difference between her sex scene with Fiona and her iconic one in “Bound” with Gina Gershon. Does Don ever have to do any convincing to get you to play yourself and Tiffany again? Or is this the easiest yes of your career? He had to do a lot of convincing to get me to do the first Chucky movie; I just did not want to do it. And you know, I never watched horror movies. So, I didn’t understand the good in horror movies. He said when he was writing Tiffany he heard my voice in his head. (Laughs.) And I know the studio wanted him to cast a “Baywatch” actress that, you know, would [be maybe] less expensive. But he was like, “I just couldn’t get Jennifer out of [my] mind.” And so, they kept coming back to me. Once I read the script I was like, “Tiffany is really kinda funny and delightful.” And the idea that I was going into the doll’s body, once I played Tiffany I was really hooked. But I never thought there were going to be more episodes. Now I’m talking in television talk. I never thought there were gonna be more movies because Tiffany dies not once, but twice. So I thought, “Oh, that was really fun. It was one and done.” And then a couple years
later Don called up and he said, “We’re gonna make another Chucky movie, are you ready?” And I was like, “But Tiffany’s dead.” He’s like, “Oh, Jennifer, no. You’re not familiar with the voodoo killer doll universe. Tiffany never dies.” There are so many layers of queerness in “Chucky.” What excites you the most when you consider the franchise’s — and now the series’ — queer sensibility? The one most likable character in “Bride of Chucky” [from 1998] was the best friend who was gay. And so that was a very positive role model. The trans community loved Glen/Glenda. It was sort of ahead of its time, and voiced by Billy Boyd in a very touching way. I’ve always had a big gay following for Tiffany. (Laughs.) So many drag queens have played Tiffany and put Tiffany in their act. And I was actually kind of a gay icon, to use the word loosely. I had a big gay following, let’s put it that way, and now [I] sound really conceited. It started with [the 1994 dark comedy] “Bullets Over Broadway.” I was like, “Oh my gosh, I have a gay following.” (Laughs.) I was so proud. I remember once I went to a club and I saw Sandra Bernhard in the club, and everyone in the club except for me and Sandra Bernhard were gay men. They’re laughing at everything she said, and I was like, “I want to be her. I want to be up on stage and be a gay icon.” Chucky really sort of accelerated that, that PHOTOS COURTESY OF SYFY
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trajectory toward achieving my dreams. The gay community loves Tiffany because she’s so over the top and campy and has that sort of wicked sense of humor, which is Don’s sense of humor. And then “Seed of Chucky” [in 2004] — you really can’t get gayer than that. Besides the genderfluid kid we had, John Waters is the pervy paparazzi. Just so much camp. I love that movie, but I think it was the least beloved of all the Chucky films. Now with this one, what I love about it is that Jake, played by the lovable Zackary Arthur, and Björgvin [Arnarson], whose character’s name is Devon — it’s a comingof-age story, and it’s just so matter of fact that the young kid [and] his first love both happen to be male. I think it’s really important. It’s casual. A revolution not coming with a roar, but just kind of creeping in. It’s the world as it is: here’s two people, and they’re going through puberty, and they’re both male. And it’s had a tremendous response. I haven’t heard any backlash. The kids are really cool now. Everybody just loves the characters. They’re just rooting for Jake and Devon to get together. How much have you thought about what Chucky represents in the series? To me, he’s like Jake’s id. He represents the rage of someone who’s forced to repress who they are. That’s so interesting. One of the reasons why I think that people really relate to Chucky is because everybody does have that sort of inner rage. And it’s weird, the thing I’ve noticed over the years is people relate to Chucky. They don’t relate to the attractive people being chased and killed. (Laughs.) When they’re watching the movie, they’re not the person running and screaming, looking over their shoulder. They’re Chucky. (Laughs.) And Chucky is so gleeful and non-remorseful. Like, when Tiffany kills people she feels really bad afterwards. But Chucky just has a good time with no after-killing hangover. So people love Chucky. There was that scene [in “Chucky”] where Chucky says, “You know, I have a genderfluid kid.” And Jake goes, “And you’re OK with that?” He goes, “I’m not a monster, Jake.” I have to tell you, gay Twitter went crazy. They’re like, “Chucky is an LGBTQ+ ally!” I mean, they loved it so much. Now I have these kids following me on Twitter and their handle is @ glendafluid (Laughs.) ‘cause they loved the way he said genderfluid: gendafluid.
I can’t help but think about how you wanted to play Corky in “Bound” and here you are as Tiffany, not playing the butch character yet again. Fiona gets to play the butcher character instead. I know, and Fiona does such an amazing job. You know, the Wachowskis [Lana and Lilly Wachowski, both trans filmmakers, directed “Bound”] were humoring me, because I went in and read for Corky first because another actress was already set to do Violet. They said, “We never had her in mind for Corky; we always had her in mind for Violet.” Because I
thought I was this close to getting Corky. They were just stringing me along. When I look back on that, I can’t imagine anybody but Gina [Gershon] playing Corky. She’s so fantastic. And I can’t imagine playing anybody besides Violet. They were so cranky with me. They go, “Violet is the better part.” Which is true. I mean, she has much more [of] a character arc, like discovering who she really is. Now, after my long career, I’m just happy that people still consider me sexy and that I get to play the sexy parts. And you know, making out with Fiona was an absolute delight, I have to say. She does all the heavy lifting in the scene because she has to cry and scream and fall on the ground. I’m so camp in this, like I’m always thinking of jokes that I can put in. I just like to make people laugh. But in the last couple episodes there’s lots of emoting from Miss Tilly. You’ll see that Oscar-caliber acting come to the forefront. (Laughs.)
When we last chatted, you told me that on the set of “Bound,” you and Gina were looking out for each other during that sex scene. Right. Well, because Gina was like, “Can you hold up my breast like so they look a little more plump?” (Laughs.) How did your experience filming the sex scene with Fiona compare to that sex scene with Gina? With Fiona it was great, but it wasn’t as gentle because we decided that Tiffany and Chucky have sort of a volatile relationship and that violence is a little bit of their foreplay. In fact, in “Cult of Chucky” [from 2017] we did a thing
— Don cut it out, but we thought it was brilliant (Laughs.) — where she kisses me, and then I slap her, and then she slaps me back. We’re like, “That sums up the relationship.” Don’s like, “Why are you guys doing that? Stop. Just stop.” (Laughs.) We had another director on [“Chucky”]; they had different directors for the episodes. So it was a woman director, Leslie, an amazing lady. And I came up with the idea. I said, “How about I start on the bottom,” because we felt like there’s a battle, like who’s the top and who’s the bottom in the relationship? “So, you’re on top of me and then I roll you over and I get on top of you. And then you don’t like being on the bottom. (Laughs.) And so you roll me over and get on top of me again because you’re still Chucky even though you’re in a woman’s body, so you get the upper hand.” So, I thought it was kind of a metaphor for them in the relationship, like, like
32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS
Body Language
42 Does without oral gratification 44 Home for Troy Perry ACROSS 45 Some, on the Somme 1 Successful cross46 “Puttin’ on the ___” dresser’s cry? 47 Fused 6 Sissy 48 Unlikely male stat 10 Fruity drinks posting 14 Snaky discharge 50 Bird feeder food 15 General vicinity 51 End of the line 16 Distance of 1760 54 Christmas threesome yards 58 Beginning of “Rent” 17 Cause of “bed death” 59 Cut 18 Brown quickly 60 Character that said 19 “Woe ___!” the line (“Hamlet”) 61 Ridge on Melissa’s 20 Start of a line from neck “Frasier” 62 “Aida” solo 23 Morally straight kind 63 Ryan of “Partners” of badge 64 Top target 24 Amount of AZT, e.g. 65 Belgian border river 25 Large droning bugs 66 Brand for cutting leaves of grass 28 Photo in an old album DOWN 31 United, to Renee 1 “___ Got You Under Vivien You Under My Skin” 32 Med. care groups 2 Word on a 34 Contemporary of Cambodian map Bela 3 A girl named Frank 35 More of the line 4 Bourbon blend 38 More of the line 5 Used the mouth to express pleasure 41 Brew ending PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 37
Qsaltlake.com |
6 Short-tempered 7 Start of a legal conclusion 8 Angry in., for example 9 Toni Morrison novel 10 In the thick of 11 Gay-friendly California mecca 12 Patron of people in the navy 13 Get a load of 21 SEP, e.g. 22 It’s attractive and a bit of a shock 25 Cut up 26 Toughen up 27 Socrates’ Athens, and others 28 Vibrator and plug 29 Model’s asset 30 Came to a halt 33 City of Baudelaire’s land 36 Zimbalist of “The F.B.I.” 37 Save money for it 47 “M-m-m!” to Sappho 51 Rubber vessel, 39 Nemesis of perhaps 49 Head of costume Tinkerbell 52 Light brown designing 40 Ball-busting 53 Confession of 50 Allan once of workplace 43 Salon workers Minnesota politics mendacity
Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
55 Protected, to seamen 56 Its teeth point in all directions 57 Mykonos, for one 60 Head movement
JANUARY, 2022 |
‘Chucky’
Continued from page 31
who’s in charge? We did play it a little bit more violent; the love scene between Corky and Violet was very fluid and very sensual. But the love scene between Fiona, [as] Nica, and Tiffany? She is Chucky, after all, so it was a little bit more aggressive. A little rough and tumble, shall we say. Since Don has turned Chucky into an LGBTQ+ ally, can we expect to see Chucky in some Pride parades next year? Well, when “Bride of Chucky” came out, I was the grand marshal of the West Hollywood Pride Parade. Then when “Seed of Chucky” came out, I was the grand marshal — I don’t know if that’s what they called it — of the gay Pride Parade in Greenwich Village.
Level: Easy
6 1 2
4
3 6 4 2 19 29 3 5 67 34 6 2 8 3
4
5
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I was on a float with all these dancing Chuckys. I had a big, orange feather boa. There was so much love for Chucky and Tiffany as I was rolling through town. It was so much fun. But when I was the grand marshal of the gay Pride Parade in West Hollywood, I had all these half-naked dancing men up on the float. We were rolling through West Hollywood; my friends were on the street corners, and I’m like, “Get on. Get on.” They all started climbing on the float, and then they all started taking their shirts off too. And of course all my friends have so many abs I can’t even begin to count them. (Laughs.) Q Chris Azzopardi is editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.
Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku is actually five separate, but connected, Sudoku puzzles.
Q doku
73
PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33
Issue 331 | Qsaltlake.com
4
4
3
1
5
3 2 9 6 97 42 1 3 8 736 9 9 4 6 547 2 8 7 51 4 9 1 25 7
5
9
72
6 7
3
58 9 715 9 241 8 6 49 8 1
5 61 435 1 3 2 9 63 7 51 4 8 2 1 45 6 7 9 32 51 2 8 5 81 4 9 6 9 2
2 1 4 9 6
7
9
6 8 7
64
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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY
Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS
LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce utahlgbtqchamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV
Utah AIDS Foundation utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org
1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS
VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545
RELIGIOUS
First Baptist Church firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main
LEGAL
SOCIAL
Rainbow Law Free Clinic
1 to 5 Club (bisexual) fb.me/1to5ClubUtah
2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL
Equality Utah equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org
175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479
Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr
Utah Libertarian Party
Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN
Utah Log Cabin Republicans
Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242
Qsaltlake.com |
6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824
bit.ly/logcabinutah
801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats utahstonewalldemocrats.org fb.me/ utahstonewalldems
1to5club@
utahpridecenter.org Alternative Garden Club bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons. blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats. blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm 2nd, 4th Mondays, Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Men Who Move menwhomove.org
OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters) bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors fb.me/sageutah sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears utahbears.com fb.me/utahbears info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists umen.org info@umen.org Utah Pride Center utahpridecenter.org info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS
QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club quacquac.org questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC fb.me/SLCStonewall stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League UtahGayFootballLeague.com fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT
OUT U.S. OLYMPIC MEN’S SLOPESTYLE SILVER MEDALIST GUS KENWORTHY
umen.org
Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871 utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main
Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146 liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/ joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt bit.ly/upc_sosa sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/ lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org
Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE
Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10) utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network gsanetwork.org The OUT Foundation theout.foundation fb.me/theOUTfoundation Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU usgabyu.com fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa
TransAction utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm
Utah Valley Univ Spectrum facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum
Women’s Support Group utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/ mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org
Weber State University LGBT Resource Center weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271
Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20
Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20 utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/
utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/
JANUARY, 2022 |
BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35
Issue 331 | Qsaltlake.com
the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
Capote’s Women: A True Story of Love, Betrayal, and a Swan Song for An Era BY LAURENCE LEAMER, ©2021, PUTNAM, $28, 356 PAGES
Her lips are locked tight. Your best friend knows all your secrets, and she’s keeping them; you told her things you had to tell somebody, and she’s telling nobody. You always knew you could trust her; if you couldn’t, she wouldn’t be your BFF. But as in the new book “Capote’s Women” by Laurence Leamer, what kind of a friend are you? For months, Truman Capote had been prom-
q scopes JANUARY BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS
ARIES March 20–April 19 There is a keen sense that the new year is nothing to celebrate, but don’t believe it. This is totally a time to reflect and get back to basics. Stop working on relationships and work on yourself. Relax and repeat.
TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Even if you don’t forgive, you should really forget about someone that hurt you. No one is perfect and understanding this is a path to freedom. In the end, the villain of your story is best written out of it.
GEMINI May 21–June 20 There is twice as much fun to be had by getting affairs in order. The order you need can be found by eliminating
ising a blockbuster. Following his success with Breakfast at Tiffany’s and In Cold Blood, he was “one of the most famous authors in the world” but he needed a career-booster. The novel he was writing, he teased, would be about “his swans,” seven wealthy, fashionable women who quite personified “beauty, taste, and manners.” His first swan was Barbara “Babe” Paley, whom he’d met on a trip with the David Selznicks to Jamaica. For Capote, “Babe was the epitome of class,” simply “perfect” in every way; it helped that the famously gay writer was no threat to Paley’s “madly jealous” husband. Babe’s “dearest friend” was Nancy “Slim” Keith, who quickly learned that if a lady wanted her confidences kept, she didn’t tell Capote anything. She shouldn’t have trusted Babe, either: When Slim left for a European trip, Babe asked if Slim’s husband could accompany Babe’s friend,
Pamela Hayward, to a play. Slim was aware of Pamela’s predatory reputation, but what could she say? Of course, Pamela, another of Truman’s swans, stole Slim’s man, a scandal that Capote loved. Gloria Guinness was highly intelligent, possibly enough to be a spy in Nazi Germany. Lucy “C.Z.” Guest was an upper-crust “elitist” with a “magical aura.” Marella Agnelli “was born an Italian princess”; Lee Radziwill, of course, was Jacqueline Kennedy’s sister. Through the late 1960s, Capote claimed to be writing his masterpiece, his tour de force based on his swans, but several deadlines passed for it. He was sure Answered Prayers “would turn him once again into the most talked-about author in America.” Instead, when an excerpt from it was published, his swans got very ruffled feathers. Every time you stand in line for groceries, the tabloids scream at you with
a source of frustration or finding intrigue in the chaos. There can always pleasure in the pain.
rush of incoming compliments. You deserve some recognition.
CANCER June 21–July 22 The world can be a strange place. You provide a light to those in a dark place. Lift other and you’ll discover that people are mirrors, sending that light back at you. In order to receive, you need to give.
LEO July 23–August 22 Things are going to get complicated with a friend who has an agenda. The best way to deal is to give them space. A dance has a lot of steps, so sit back and listen to the music. You’ll find your groove.
VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 You will make an impression on a young person or co-worker with skills and extensive knowledge. Don’t let it go to your head but enjoy the
LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Family has a way of bringing out your nurturing spirit but be careful not to overstep. Sometimes it’s best to let people figure things out. Even so, be willing to provide a helping hand and take hold when needed.
SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 There’s a conflict between your head and your heart, If an issue doesn’t fit in the box, then try finding a bigger box. In the end, it doesn’t matter if the placement is temporary. Do what works in the moment.
SAGITTARIUS
Nov. 22–December 20.
A new engagement or blooming friendship has you feeling optimistic. Tread carefully and try not to spoil the simplicity of this relationship. Less is
so much drama that you either love it or hate it. Or, in the case of “Capote’s Women,” you cultivate it. And that’s infinitely fun, as told by author Laurence Leamer. Happily, though, Leamer doesn’t embellish or disrespect these women or Capote; he tells their tales in order, gently allowing readers’ heads to spin with the wild, globe-hopping goings-on but not to the point that it’s overdone. While most of this book is about these seven beautiful, wealthy, and serially married women — the Kardashians of their time, if you will — Capote is Leamer’s glue, and Truman gets his due, as well. Readers who devour this book will be sure that the writer would’ve been very happy about that. “Capote’s Women” should be like catnip to celeb-watchers of a Certain Age but even if you’re not, find it. If you’re a Hollywood fan, you’ll want to get a lock on it. Q always more. Keep it simple and safe and you’ll enjoy it more.
CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19
You are never big on tradition until it is staring you in the face. While parties and festivities are behind you, there could be demands you aren’t expecting. Take a moment to enjoy the process. Be the hero!
AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Be ready for changes as others around you implement personal resolutions. It may be temporary. The way to deal with uncertainty is to stop caring about it. Focus on yourself and you’ll be unstoppable.
PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Even if you don’t have ambition right now, the goals you set will compel you to improve. Make a list and be mindful of intentions. Money and finances require attention, but the focus should be on the spirit. Q
36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
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downtown lawyers, opened December 4 across from the Eccles Theater. They’re offering healthy, quick and flavorful Pho from a family recipe. There have been some special preview nights, we know because we walked by like Charlie Brown, having not been invited. Not jilted, just excited — Pho-real. (@tamarindslc)
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December 8 was the opening of FLANKER KITCHEN AND SPORTING CLUB at The Gateway. We’ve been teasing this location for a couple months and are excited for the Miss Piggy, Tiki-Pena, and Rendez Vous — cocktails created by the world-renowned mixologist Francesco Lafranconi. This guy hangs with everyone from Ferran Adria to Lionel Richie. So, we’ll consider ourselves in good company next week. (@flankerslc)
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As reported, TAMARIND, the bright and colorful Vietnamese restaurant owned by two
SHADES BREWING expanded to downtown. This boho chic location is a little
JANUARY, 2022 |
FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37
Issue 331 | Qsaltlake.com
hard to find unless you’re looking for it above Himalayan Kitchen at 366 S. State Street. Shades Tap Room offers beer to go and is open daily 11am to 1 am. Have you tried the Plum? It’s the best sour made in Utah. (@shadestaproom) LAUREL BRASSERIE & BAR opened December 1 and is set to be the most expensive restaurant ever built in Utah — yes, more than The Mayan (bonus points for remembering). Grand America has gutted their restaurant and imagined a modern brasserie. This stunning space is on a scale rarely accomplished in Utah and an outdoor patio is expected in the spring. (@laurelslc)
CARSON KITCHEN unveiled a mouthwatering winter menu that we will be savoring
soon. The 10 new dishes from chef/owner Cory Harwell, including a savory pork meatloaf and foie butter and jelly sound delightful. Our recommendation from past visits is to find yourself at the bar or exhibition kitchen and ask the mixologist or chefs to plie you with their talents. They’ll make you a believer. (@carsonkitchen)
Fabby Award Winner
With a face made-for-tv, BAMBARA reintroduces us to Chef Jerry Pacheco. He’s ignited some of the most notable restaurants downtown, including Copper Onion, Pallet, and Avenues Bistro. While the blue cheese potato chips stay — thank God — expect a well-deserved overhaul of the menu as Pacheco leans-in to his Mexican heritage. (@bambaraslc) Q Joshua Jones is director of communications and marketing at Downtown Alliance.
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38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX
sex and salt lake city
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
Let’s talk about sex BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK
It’s late
Sunday evening and my husband and I just finished cleaning up the kitchen. While many spend their Sunday evenings with family, ours are frequently spent hosting a houseful of people who come to our home … to talk about sex, gender, and relationships. But mostly sex! On this particular night, the topic of non-monogamy was a hot one. It’s no secret to most that my hubz and I have been non-monogamous the entirety of our nearly 20 years together. What seems to be a secret is that we have had some struggles with it over the years. The comment we tend to hear the most is: “You both just have it all so figured out.” What we’ve figured out is … how to cultivate a good impression that we have it all figured out. What we’ve also figured out is … how to talk. We talk A LOT. In all honesty, we have had our fair share of ups and downs with our unconventional relationship style. However, what we have the benefit of experiencing that many couples don’t, is developing complete transparency in our communication with one another. Whether monogamous, swinger, polyamorous, kinky or just a good ‘ole ethical slut, communicating openly and honestly is the very best skill one can learn. Don’t be afraid to share with your partner how you feel.
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Too often, whether spending intimate time with someone for a couple of hours or for a lifetime, we keep our feelings about what we’re experiencing to ourselves. If you want to be held, talked dirty too, caressed or spanked — say so. If you’re feeling especially needy or if you want space — say so. Nobody is a mind reader and what worked with the last partner or this partner the last time you were together, may not be working right now. Likewise, that new trick you just learned from your last partner may be just the thing to send this next person to new delicious sensations. Don’t assume you’ve been heard, or heard your partner(s) accurately — keep talking until you genuinely get where one another stands — or sits or lays. There have been times my husband and I have talked a situation to death only to realize that neither of us actually heard the other. It’s easy for feelings to get hurt or for misunderstandings to occur when emotions are high. Whenever possible talk at a time and place where each of you is feeling clear-headed. At the same time, don’t wait for unreasonable amounts of time for a good time to talk. Waiting too long can only cause negative feelings to fester. Assume positive intent. Recognize that the person before you is a real person with real feelings and more than likely those feelings don’t include intentionally hurting you. Most of the time when people are making a choice to interact intimately with each other they’re both (or all) hoping for a good time. That good time rarely (unless it’s your kink) includes hurting anyone’s feelings. Recognize when you have “Sex Brain.”
Early on in our relationship, there were times that we’d be at a party or meet someone new that one of us (usually me) would get so excited about the new person that we’d neglect to check in with the feelings of the other. For most who live non-monogamously, the idea or act of their partner having sex with another isn’t cause for jealousy or hurt. Hurt occurs when there’s an impression of deceit. It’s important to check in with one another frequently — not just at “party time.” Hold space for your partner. There will be times that one of you has had an amazing sexy experience and the other has not. This can be a tough one to work through. It’s easy to feel guilty because of the pleasure you experience with someone other than your partner. It’s easy to feel left out when your partner experiences pleasure with someone other than you. Kind communication is vital here. It’s possible to sit with your feelings (positive or negative) and not project them onto the other. It’s also possible to sit with the positive or negative feelings your partner is experiencing and not have them influence your own. To harness that skill takes practice and insight from a sex-positive therapist that can be especially helpful. Lastly, give yourself permission to create a sexy blueprint that speaks to you. There are a million different ways to do relationships — the only right way is the one that works for you. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a Clinical Sexologist who divides her time between Salt Lake City and Palm Springs, Calif. She can be reached at Dr.LaurieBennettCook@gmail.com
JANUARY, 2022 |
Issue 331 | Qsaltlake.com
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40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD
Qsaltlake.com |
Issue 331 | JANUARY, 2022
the perils of petunia pap smear
A tale of bottoms up BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR
The road
to old age is fraught with danger and excitement. My primary care doctor has been nagging me for at least 10 years to get a colonoscopy. I was a little disgruntled to learn that a colonoscopy is the act of threading a camera on a 20-foot hose up your bum and taking a looksee. Can we say, “extreme peek-a-boo!?” You’d think with a name like Pap Smear, I’d be used to invasive bodily procedures. You would be wrong! I’ve heard such horror stories about the preparation for the procedure that I just kept putting it off. At one point, I even asked the doctor if I could do a D.I.Y. colonoscopy by gluing a GoPro camera onto the end of a dildo and making my own “homo-movie” of my poop chute. He quickly pooh-poohed that concept. (See what I did there?) So last month, I finally relented and scheduled an appointment. They told me not to eat solid food the entire day before. I’m a substantively gravity-enhanced queen who rarely misses a snack, let alone a single meal. The fact that I was going to miss four meals in a row was a cause of great concern. I was given a gallon jug full of yellow liquid that looked suspiciously like urine and was told to drink a half-gallon of the concoction within an hours’ time the evening before the procedure. Then the other half gallon the morning of. Supposedly this is to “clean out” all the poop and enable the camera to get a better view of “The Journey to the Center of the Earth.” So, I settled down to watch “Schitt’s Creek” (of course) and drink the first half gallon of “pee.” In the beginning, I tried to suck it through a straw so as not to mess up my lipstick, but as the hour proceeded, my sucking action was overwhelmed and I felt like I was drowning. It was just too much to drink all in one sitting. Jesus must have been performing a miracle re-enactment of the feeding of the 5,000 because, apparently, he had multiplied my drink to 50 gallons.
My husband, trying to be helpful, kept repeating “Drink your juice Shelby,” over and over until I forced it all down. I thought so far so good, then suddenly, the inevitable result of the laxative took effect. For the next three hours, I couldn’t get more than ten feet from the bathroom, as my body was only giving me a five-second warning before there was a “whoopsie daisy” event all over the floor. The next morning, after drinking the remaining half-gallon and sitting on the toilet non-stop for two hours, I arrived at the hospital a little bit cranky because I was starving and my asshole was chapped. A rather attractive male nurse instructed me to get totally naked and put on a hospital gown. Well, the gown he gave me had a broken tie so it would not close in the back. Then he came and led me down a long, long hallway to the operating room. All the while with my bare-naked ass prominently on display in front of God and everybody! How is a queen supposed to flirt with a hot nurse under such conditions? Upon entering the operating room, cutie pie instructed me to hop up onto the table and lay on my left side. I thought, “Oh how cute, they think I can just hop my substantial buttockus maximus up off the floor without a gantry crane. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts to mount the table, the cute nurse took pity on me and placed his two hands on my two cheeks, and gave a mighty heave-hoe. I inadvertently blurted a great umph as my bodus rotundus plopped like a beached walrus onto the table. So, there I am, lying on my side, my bare ass prominently displayed to the room. Suddenly, I heard a husky male voice from behind, announcing that he was the doctor. I craned my neck to get a glimpse of who was “going deep.” I was delighted to see that he was a
stud muffin. I thought, “Damn it. If I had known the doctor was going to be this hot, I would have shaved my ass!” I made a feeble attempt at levity and told him that at least I was presenting him with my best side as I gave my bare hippoglottamus a loud and proud slap. And that was the extent of all the foreplay I could accomplish because the propofol sedative put me out. I woke up in the recovery room. Dr. Stud Muffin came in to give me a report and to show me some of the video. I might have been a little bit groggy because I could swear that he confidently announced that he found no signs of brain damage, which of course I was glad to hear. As I was leaving the hospital, the cute nurse gave me an all-knowing and very flirtatious wink. I had the sudden realization that I’ve never been touched so deeply. The day after the colonoscopy was heaven. The best, sharpest farts ever! This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Now that I’ve drunk one gallon of pee-like liquid, will I have a new desire to engage in water sports? 2. When the handsome nurse told me to get naked, was he flirting with me? 3. Should I nominate the doctor for an Oscar for best cinematography? 4. Should I have asked the doctor to write a note informing my husband that in fact my head was not found up my ass? 5. Should I begin showing my colonoscopy video at parties? 6. Should I use the video to prove that I have inner beauty? These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q
Molly Mears, MD
801-294-9999
1560 S. Renaissance Towne Dr, Ste. #102, Bountiful
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