QSaltLake Magazine - Issue 332 - February 2202

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designer Christian Allred sales Dusty Trent, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 ext 200 sales@rivendellmedia.com NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Roger Cox, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Ashley Hoyle, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Roger Cox publisher

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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

Putin throws shade If a 150,000-soldier army ready to invade Ukraine was not enough reason to go to war with Russia, Russian President Vladimir Putin has now thrown shade at transgender people. During his traditional New Year press conference, this one lasting four hours, he compared gender nonconformity and the push for trans rights to “new strains” of a “pandemic” much like the coronavirus.

He joins tennis star Martina Navratilova and author, J.K. Rowling in the TERF (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist) ranks. He’s not a feminist though, rather a dictator, so he becomes a TERD.

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admission in her just-published memoir, “Yours Cruelly, Elvira.” She lost thousands of social media followers shortly after her same-sex coupling was made public.

She dismissed the loss as she thinks it came from disenchanted fans in a very specific demographic. “I knew that there were going to be some horny old men out there who were just not going to like the fact that they didn’t have a chance with me anymore,” she said. She initially lost about 11,000 followers after the book hit shelves. She’s since gained about 60,000 new ones. So again, announcing a same-sex relationship proves to be a good career move.

EU court punts baker The European Union’s top human rights court ruled a man’s discrimination claim against a Belfast bakery for declining his pro-same-sex marriage cake order because of its owners’ religious beliefs as inadmissible. It was a process, not a merit win, for the baker as the European Court of Human Rights ruled the claim inadmissible because the complainant had not argued his rights under Europe’s human rights convention as the case made its way through the British court system.

Feat of Clay

Elvira? Who knew?

Cassandra Peterson, better known as the black-wigged “Elvira” media personality, says her social media presence took a hit in followers following her admission that she was in a relationship with another woman. The actor made the

Anyone under 45 years old may say, “Who?” but Clay Aiken, the former “American Idol” contestant, 43, announced Monday that he is making a second bid to represent North Carolina in Congress. In 2014, Aiken prevailed in the Democratic primary in his state’s 2nd District. The gay former pop star was running in a conservative House district, he was defeated in the general election by Rep. Renee Ellmers. He says he is running to

counter the loudest political voices in his state which he says are “white nationalists,” citing Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-N.C.). He also objects to other far-right U.S. representatives like Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia and Lauren Boebert in Colorado.

Issue 332 |

FEBRUARY, 2022

lete to win gold in the U.S. pairs figure skating event.

New post for Rufus Gifford Former U.S. ambassador Rufus Gifford has become the Chief of Protocol for the U.S. Department of State. His tenure was notable as he was the first man married to another man to represent the U.S. as an ambassador when President Barack Obama appointed him to Denmark. In this high-profile position, Gifford will liaise with the foreign diplomatic corps in Washington, oversee State Department and Blair House functions, and welcome foreign officials.

Chiefs of Protocol also hold the titles of Ambassador and Assistant Secretary of State.

LeDuc ducks gender Timothy LeDuc is set to be the first avowedly non-binary Winter Olympian when they compete in the Beijing Winter Olympics that begin this February. U.S. Figure Skating announced the non-binary skater had been paired with the binary, cis-gender Ashley Cain-Gribble for the games.

They have been paired with Cain-Gribble for many years while they were merely gay.

Now that they are non-binary, they say, “It’s really exciting, but I hope that the narrative does not center around me and my journey and my accomplishments but that the narrative switches to queer people having the opportunity to be open and be authentic to themselves.”

In 2019, LeDuc became the first avowedly queer ath-

Intersex surgery California State Senator Scott Wiener withdrew a bill that would have banned medically unnecessary, cosmetic surgeries on intersex children.

Intersex people are those born with nontypical male and female sex characteristics.

When intersex children are born, many undergo irreversible surgeries. He found little support for the bill in the legislature. He lamented that California wasn’t ready to join Germany and Columbia in banning the surgery. His previous legislation making gender-specific aisles in toy stores illegal, banning conversion therapy, and protecting gender-affirming therapies and surgeries for transgender-declaring children from parental interference, have passed. No jurisdictions in the USA have approved this kind of ban, though two children’s hospitals in the U.S. have banned the procedures.

His most recent bill would have prohibited unnecessary surgeries on intersex children until they were 12 years old.

Lia Thomas loses, Iszac Henig wins University of Pennsylvania swimmer Lia Thomas, who has been winning everything and setting records in collegiate women’s swimming meets, was finally bested.

Thomas, while winning and

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setting records in other heats, was beaten in the 100-yard freestyle competition. Thomas, who is a male-to-female transgender swimmer, has become central to the debate about transgender inclusion in competitive women’s sports. She lost a race Saturday to Iszac Henig, a femaleto-male transgender swimmer at Yale University who swims on the women’s team. Henig is eligible to compete on the women’s team because he has chosen not to receive gender-affirming hormones such as testosterone. All of this is kosher according to the NCAA guidelines.

losing the Mr. Universe title to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Always proudly and publicly a gay man, in the 1970s he modeled nude for Jim French, a photographer who specialized in erotic imagery of gay men. He also posed in a t-shirt for a portrait by Robert Mapplethorpe in 1982.

Madame Macron sues Being the wife of a president of a western democracy can

be hard. Just ask the U.S. presidential wife how bad she feels when she isn’t addressed as Dr. Jill. But French First Lady Brigitte Macron has it even worse. In a documentary, “In the Hell of the Presidential Campaigns,” on a French television news channel, it was reported she received an anonymous phone call claiming her husband, President Emmanuel Macron, was seeing a male lover. President Macron has had to deny persistent reports

that he engaged in a passionate love affair with his former head of security, Alexandre Benalla. Benalla was fired after a video of him beating a group of protesters was leaked online. To make life even harder, a website published claims that Mrs. Macron is transgender. Mrs. Macron — who had three children with her first husband — is taking legal action against the website publisher. Q

RIP: Chris Dickerson, proud and loud gay bodybuilder The first avowedly gay man to win Mr. America and Mr. Olympia bodybuilding competitions, Chris Dickerson, has died at age 82 from a heart ailment. He was also diagnosed with COVID-19.

He started physical training to help in his dancing and opera career and continued weight training, ultimately winning Mr. Olympia, Mr. America, Mr. Universe, and the Pro Mr. America titles. He was also the first black man to win major bodybuilding titles and reported he was discriminated against both because of his race and for being gay.

An additional claim to fame is

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David Archuleta talks about his spiritual journey with being gay and Mormon

BY MICHAEL AARON

David

Archuleta made a deeply personal video post on his Instagram account about his struggle meshing his homosexual life with his LDS life.

“I’d go insane if I didn’t let out whatever is inside of me,” Archuletta begins. “But I just can’t help it.”

Archuletta said it has been challenging to prepare for an upcoming tour, which was supposed to happen in 2020 but was postponed because of the pandemic.

“I have to be honest. It has been difficult for me to get ready for this tour,” he said while ensuring he wouldn’t cancel it. “Other factors in my life have affected my motivation and energy to put into touring.”

He said he hasn’t written anything recently, which he said happens in phases.

He most recently did a Christmas tour, which he called wonderful, but very difficult, both physically and emotionally.

“I feel it has to do with the past year and coming out, and what that means for me, and the changes and adjustments it’s made in my life,” he said. “I know it’s affected my view on things and my beliefs. I’ve grown up in a religion that I’ve always felt very strongly towards, being a Latter-day Saint, a gay Mormon.

“I was always taught that marriage was everything,” he continued, “If you were married in the temple, you were with them for time ad eternity, even after death, which is a beautiful thought if you love that person and that you can continue growing and progressing on an eternal journey together. That’s what I wanted. I grew up believing that and defending that because I believed this is what God intended. I was going to get married and have kids and have a wife and get married in the temple and live happily ever after.”

“Well, I tried to make that work,” he said.

“And clearly, that wasn’t going to work because my sexuality did not leave me with the inclination to have those desires.”

He said that he tried and tried to express himself sexually with a woman, but it couldn’t happen.

“When it came to those aspects of a relationship, I just couldn’t provide them … not to a woman!” he said. “It’s something that’s expected. You want that chemistry.”

PHOTO VIA INSTAGRAM

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He said he felt his relationships were more like he was performing in a play where he was in the role of a man courting a woman, wanting children, and living happily ever after.

“I felt like I was an imposter because I could see the way whoever I was dating was reacting, and thinking ‘do they not realize I’m not that. I’m just playing the part because I was supposed to?’” he said. “And the part I was playing felt genuine, and there was this certain kind of connection that was romantically going on, like a fairy tale, and I looked at it as more of a business relationship, like ‘This is what we are supposed to do. We are supposed to get married. But they wanted more of a personable connection.”

He said he couldn’t provide that.

He said he was taught that it would eventually come naturally to him if he played that part. But he felt he was pretending to be something that he is not.

“I eventually came to the conclusion that this was happening because I was attracted to men,” he said. “In my religion, it was okay to be attracted to men but still marry a woman because that’s the right thing to do. That’s the eternal perspective. That’s what’s going to really make you happy.”

“If you acknowledge that you’re attracted to men and do anything about it, you’re going to suffer; you’re going to be sad; you’re going to lose this light in you,” he said. So he kept trying to make it work.

“But I started getting so depressed it was like life wasn’t worth living anymore,” he continued. “I’d rather not live than live like I’m pretending, just to make everyone else think I’m happy.

He said it felt insincere and dishonest.

He’d seen others in the same situation try to live their lives that way, and he didn’t like the result. He didn’t like the idea of having to tolerate life until it ends.

“I feel like we are here to enjoy this life,” he said, rather than tolerate it.

He said that up until the point he came out, he’d never thought of the idea of wanting a sexual relationship with a man. He was only focused on getting married to a woman and living

his beliefs. His church, he said, said that “same-sex attraction” was a “challenge” in his current life, a temptation that would go away in the next life. He said that taking the route to a relationship with a male was the last option, to be okay with himself and to be okay with his god.

“But it literally became the last option,” he said. “What’s worse? For me to pretend for the rest of my life that I don’t have that and to just look like I’m happy?”

“At some point, I thought, ‘What would God prefer? For me to live a ‘sinful’ life?

Living in a gay relationship? Letting myself love someone romantically that’s the same sex as me? Is that better than not being here and not existing?” he asked. “What’s worse, because probably ending my life is also bad.”

“So you start playing with those ideas — which one’s worse. And you start thinking, ‘Ending my life doesn’t seem so bad. That way, I don’t have to lie,’” he said. “And if I stick around that temptation is going to be ever before me, and that’s wrong, and I feel like I’m about to give in to that’s acceptable and that’s how I am, so maybe it’s better to end the sinful person; to end the sin; than to let it grow and destroy me because maybe if I die, I’ll have a better chance at salvation than if I were to live gay.”

“It’s a wrestle that goes on in your head, back and forth.”

He said it was a very tempting idea to end his life because being gay would mean letting everyone down, especially God and his future kids.

“And then you think, what if [God] is okay with you not being perfect?” he asked. “Maybe if I stick around, I can make up for my sin of being into guys. So then one moment I realized that if God is really there because there was a moment I had to disconnect myself from God because the idea that he was there and I was disappointing him … when I tried all my life to please him and to just give in to the thing I thought he was telling me to avoid, I felt like I was a failure.”

“Until one day. I was still praying, and I just prayed to God, and I said, ‘God, if you’re there, then please just take

this away from me,” he continued.

“I realized at that moment that there is a god. He loves me how I am, and he did want me to stick around and be alive, and I didn’t have to change myself because I wasn’t going to be able to. He said, ‘David, you need to stop asking me this because I’m not going to change this.

You can see at this point, 30 years into your life … you’ve been praying about this for over half your life. I’m not going to change this. And you need to understand why. I created you the way that you are.’”

He went on to ask why there isn’t compassion for same-sex relationships and marriages within the LDS Church while there is for others like those who can’t have children or who are single parents.

He also talked about how some within his church, and some close to him, are more accepting of him than he was before he began to come to terms with his sexuality.

“It’s difficult because I’m on a journey, and I have a lot of questions,” he said. “My whole world’s been shook up.”

He wonders what his purpose is now since his beliefs were always different.

“When people tell you what God thinks, they make him seem more hateful and a lot more judgmental,” he said.

“I lived my career for a more eternal perspective in mind,” he said. “And when it shifts, and I don’t fit that perspective anymore, will I be knocked off? And what is going to be my purpose then? Because for 30 years, I lived it for this, and now what?”

He says he feels a loss of identity and meaning because he lived his life for his church.

“But at least I’m still here,” he said. “I feel like it’s for the better. That’s what I hope.”

“I just pray that God gives me grace, and I feel like he does. Maybe I just pray that I have experiences that make me feel like I have more grace with myself. And hopefully, in the process, I can help other people find more grace for people like me and, if there are people like me out there, they can find more grace for themselves.” Q

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Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

Utah anti-trans bills reintroduced Two bills restricting the rights of transgender people that didn’t make it through last year’s Utah State Legislative Session have been reintroduced.

HB-11, Student Athletics Participation, sponsored by Rep. Kera Birkeland, R-Morgan, restricts transgender girl participation in school sports.

HB-127, Medical Practice Amendments, sponsored by Rep. Rex P. Shipp, R-Cedar City bans doctors from performing “medically unnecessary puberty inhibition procedure or a sex characteristic-altering procedure on a minor.”

HB-11, TRANSGENDER PARTICIPATION IN SPORTS HB-11, allows transgender high school girls to compete if they have had one year of hormone therapy and changed the sex designation on their birth certificate.

The current requirement from the Utah High School Activities Association requires a year of hormone therapy, but not a changed birth certificate.

Birkeland says the bill is the result of negotiations between her, Equality Utah, the ACLU, parents, coaches, and UHSAA. The bill addresses only students in school years 9–12.

Equality Utah attorney Clifford Rosky said the group is considering endorsing the bill if the legislation clearly states that puberty blockers count as qualifying hormone therapy and the birth certificate requirement is removed.

During the committee meeting, Birkeland said she viewed puberty blockers as qualifying as the hormone therapy required in the bill, although that’s not explicitly stated in it.

Rosky did raise the concern of the requirement to have the birth certificate

changed by a judge.

“It’s requiring students to pay court fees and hire a lawyer to go through a court process and that is quite expensive,” he said. “That’s a big barrier for a lot of students.”

Birkeland said the birth certificate change is proof that a family is serious about the gender change.

The Utah Supreme Court ruled this year that judges should grant requests for transgender people to change the gender on their birth certificate.

A state legislative committee discussed tweaking that ruling with a new statute.

Transgender activist Sue Robbins said she appreciated the work Birkeland did since the end of the last legislative session, though she’s worried about other expected legislation like a ban on hormone therapy for minors and a ban on changing sex markers on birth certificates. Both of those proposals, she said, could undermine Birkeland’s bill.

HB-127, TRANSGENDER TREATMENT OF MINORS HB-127 limits attempts or efforts to change an individual’s body to present that individual as being of a sex or gender that is different from the individual’s biological “sex at birth” to those under 18 years of age.

“Utah Legislators generally don’t want to get involved in decisions between parents and medical professionals and this is a Republican principle,” said Robbins. “This bill has a hard path ahead of it but it angers me that our youth even have to know it exists. This needs to go away as quickly as possible.”

The 2022 Utah Legislative Session is scheduled from Jan. 18 to March 4, 2022. Q

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Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

Q mmunity Utah Pride Center cancels ‘Re-Imagined’ Open House Leaders of the Utah Pride Center canceled its “Re-Imagined” open house celebration, which was scheduled on February 5, because of the current rise in Covid-19 cases.

The Center will continue providing mental health services online, saying the pandemic has allowed them to reach people in more remote parts of the state that they wouldn’t have otherwise been able to.

They have also organized a planning committee who is working toward pulling off “a successful and safe 2022 Pride Festival in June, much like the Pride Festivals we experienced pre-pandemic.”

They will be following guidelines from the Utah Department of Health as the dates gets closer.

Utah Gay Ski Week returns in February 2022 Utah’s gay ski week, Elevation: Utah, will return to Park City for its 12th annual

season, and the 20th season at Mammoth Lakes, Calif., says founder Tom Whitman.

“Last year’s cancellation of the formal events was devastating, but in 2022, we are back — bigger and better than ever!” Whitman wrote in a statement. “Elevation has a special place in my heart, not only because it is the longest-running event I have produced, but because each year I meet amazing people from around the world who share at least one of my passions — skiing/ snowboarding and gathering with my LGBTQ community.”

The event is planned for Feb. 23–27.

More information is available at utahgayskiweek.com

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Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

quotes “You now have biological men. All you have to do is say, oops, I think I feel like a woman right now. I’m going to go out and break every record a woman ever made and feel no shame ... What about the father who would sit there and let his son do that? It blows my mind that a dad doesn’t say if you want to compete, you compete against other boys and deal with it. You don’t steal the value of womanhood.”

—Rep. Burgess Owens at the Utah Eag;e Corum conference

“People will ask, ‘Why does this even need to be talked about?’ and personally, I agree with that. But for me to show up at an awards show with a man would be jaw-dropping to people. It wouldn’t be like, ‘Oh, cool!’”

—T.J. Osborne, lead vocalist in the country music group Brothers Osborne

“I also don’t know if I’m going to end up with a guy, so I can’t really see myself maybe getting pregnant.

I’m so fluid now — and a part of the reason why I am so fluid is because I was super closed off.”

— Demi Lovato

“I fully identify as bisexual. I literally just got goosebumps saying that. It feels so good to talk about it, it feels so good to finally be comfortable with it” —“9-1-1: Lone Star” actor Ronen Rubinstein

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

guest editorial

Out with 2021, in with 2022

BY PETER ROSENSTEIN

As we

brought 2021 to a close, I think back on the highlights, the low lights, and those times we just managed to live our lives day-to-day. For many of us that was the majority of the time. I look forward with hope to 2022.

The year 2021 began with the Jan. 6 insurrection. Those of us in D.C. lived with armed national guard troops on the streets for weeks. We had the weird experience of actually thanking Vice President Pence for something — doing the right thing. Then came Jan. 20 and the inauguration of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. It was a glorious day bringing hope for a better year. Lady Gaga sang and Amanda Gorman recited her poem “The Hill We Climb.”

It seemed to all a new day had finally begun. But it wasn’t to be an easy time and Trumpism was always in the background.

President Biden proposed his broad economic agenda, still not completed, but there is hope much of it will happen.

Many of the promises he was elected on will be honored.

Politics continue to be nasty and Republicans continue to be the Party of No. Many of their members on the Hill are both disgusting and frightening. School shootings continue with the most recent one in Oxford, Mich., the 28th this year.

For most of us, 2021 was the year we kept hoping the pandemic would finally abate.

We prayed we could get our lives back to normal and once again hug and kiss our family

and friends without worrying about catching COVID. For many of us getting the booster shot was the key to that. We know there will continue to be COVID and hope that the shots will protect us against the newest variant, Omicron.

That gives me hope as we enter 2022.

While not back to normal, there is a feeling some things are better. Friends just returned from a trip to New York City and said it’s crowded once again. Restaurants and theaters are packed.

In D.C., walking down 17th Street or 14th Street, you see crowds once again.

One of the best things to come from the pandemic are all the new eateries, outdoor seating for restaurants. They are packed with diners and when it’s cold they have heaters the city helped fund.

By all accounts Mayor Muriel Bowser helped keep D.C. functioning and mostly safe during this past year. Clearly it hasn’t been easy but through perseverance her policies seem to be working. Now we just need more people vaccinated, more back in their offices and more tourists arriving, which will once again make for a thriving downtown.

The highlight of my year was a transatlantic cruise on the incredible Celebrity APEX. Getting to Barcelona to meet the ship was my first time on an airplane since March 2020 and there was something liberating about that. After a few days in that city, where about 80 percent of the population was vaccinated and no one questioned wearing a

mask indoors and on public transportation, I felt very safe.

Arriving back in time to see Democrats lose all statewide races in Virginia and nearly lose the governorship in New Jersey was not a pretty way to end the year.

I look forward with a positive attitude to 2022. I spent New Year’s Eve with friends in Rehoboth Beach as I have for many years. I have continued to hope the owners of bars and restaurants at the beach will do what’s being done in New York, L.A. and by many in D.C. and other cities asking for proof of vaccination from their patrons even if it isn’t mandated by government. Not holding my breath for the Rehoboth Beach Commission to mandate it.

Once the ball came down

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

in Times Square to signal the beginning of 2022, I had hoped Democrats would surely enact some form of the Build Back Better bill so President Biden could talk about all he has done for the people one year into his administration when he gave a report to the nation during his State of the Union speech.

In addition to all the domestic advances, it will be the first time in 20 years the nation is not at war.

So here’s a toast to 2022, to family and friends, old and new. To remembering those no longer with us and to seeing a future for all with health, hope, happiness and peace on earth. Q Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

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Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

Love and decapitation

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

I think

Valentine’s Day is less about love and !more about capitalism. I mean, the actual St. Valentine was beaten to death and then decapitated.

Hallmark came along and turned his death into an occasion for buying chocolates and flowers. If that’s not the very definition of capitalism, I don’t know what is.

A day of romance is difficult when neither of you is all that romantic. I tried. I would send chocolates to Kelly’s work with cards reading, “Say you’ll spend just one lifetime

with me, but know that one lifetime will never be enough” or “You’re the dream I’ll go on dreaming forever.” All the women he worked with would swoon, and he would tell them I’d stolen it from some musical or poem.

Kids can complicate the whole situation — like they do every other aspect of romance. A couple of years ago, the resource and support website for gay, bi, and trans dads, gayswithkids, asked guys to submit short videos sharing how they observed Valentine’s Day pre- and post-kids. One

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couple mentioned how, before fatherhood, they would go to an upscale restaurant together; now they make homemade pizza with help from their daughter, and then watch a movie of her choice — one she’s seen six times.

For another couple, the day was never anything special.

Before kids, they’d try to grab dinner if they could. Now, with children, they don’t even exchange cards. Still another couple planned to take their toddler with them to Vegas to celebrate because they didn’t want to be stereotypical parents and decided to include their daughter in their plans.

Valentine’s Day can be difficult for LGBTQ+ people.

Experts note that the commercialization of the day has often excluded queer people and therefore celebrating it can prove awkward. In fact, as I researched this topic, I discovered that there’s even a Gay Valentine’s Day — well, unofficially — on February 15.

Apparently, it’s intended for LGBTQ+ people to celebrate our love with a special night out on the town free from the burden of being surrounded by straight couples.

Actually, googling the words “Valentine’s” and “gay” produces a litany of responses that read like the lyrics of an Adam Sandler parody. Suggestions spanned the spectrum from spending the day volunteering to taking a walk to

having a talk about finances.

Who said romance is dead?

To me, these suggested activities seem to reiterate the notion that Valentine’s isn’t for gay people. One site actually pondered what gift two gay guys could possibly give each other — as if we don’t like flowers and chocolates.

The lifestyle blogger Catherine Short tells how her own mother really loves Valentine’s Day but not as a day to celebrate one’s significant other. She also never expects any sort of gift or acknowledgment from her husband or kids. Instead, Short says, her mom turned the “holiday” into a fun day for family and friends, a way to “express love to people important to us.” Maybe that’s why so many gay parents include their rug rats in their celebrations — they’re the most important people in our lives.

We only had one rule about Valentine’s when the boys were growing up: give a card to every kid in the class, no matter how weird you think they are. We’ve always given them each a small box of chocolates and that’s it. There’s no volunteering or walks in the neighborhood. We never expected, nor wanted, anything from them. We’ll observe the day the same way this year.

I guess we don’t need a decapitated 1700-year-old Roman saint to remind us that we love each other. Q

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

creep of the month

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

Steve Gallagher

It’s 2022!

BY DANNE WITKOWSKI

Happy New Year, everybody!

As we face 2022 there are some hot button questions that I know you’re dying to get answers to: Will COVID-19 ever end?

Will U.S. Democracy be trashed like a used surgical mask before the year is through?

Will the earth be swallowed up by fire and/or water and/or mudslides due to climate change?

Will conservatives purge libraries of books with LGBTQ+ content and burn them in a pile while crying about how Marjorie Taylor Green getting kicked off of Twitter is an egregious act of censorship?

Will transgender people continue to be attacked by state legislatures for daring to exist?

Is homosexual promiscuity worse than heterosexual promiscuity?

Wait, where did that last question come from? I didn’t approve that.

Ah, I see, that question comes to us courtesy of Pure Life Ministries Founder and President Steve Gallagher who insists in a recent post to his website that “this is one of many hot-button questions in our day and age” Is it, though? Really? I’m going to go with no.

But, of course, it’s not a serious question. Even as he sets up his post with, “Many years of well-intentioned Christian activism against homosexuality in our country has left the gay community with the impression that Christians are self-righteous and intolerant,” as if he isn’t about to display said self-righteous intolerance.

Let me point out that “promiscuity” is being used here to indicate that having sex with multiple partners is a bad thing, which is not a universal belief at all. So the very

premise of his argument is garbage.

Anyway, he gives four reasons why promiscuity is worse when the gays do it. The first reason? The Bible says it’s bad. (Again, an interpretation that is not universal.)

Second, it’s icky. “While it is sinful for a guy and a girl to engage in extramarital sexual intercourse, their behavior fits within the parameters of ‘normal’ sex — something that cannot be said of sodomy and the like,” he writes.

“And the like” is doing an awful lot of work in that sentence. Again, shaming people for sexual desire is wrong, and that’s exactly what he’s doing by calling the kind of sex HE has (or is claiming to have) normal, implying that everything else is not normal.

Gallagher’s third reason belies a very deep (no doubt deliberate) misunderstanding of identity and culture.

He, again, positions himself as the default, which causes him to ignore the fact that he, too, has a sexuality and culture that deeply informs his understanding of his own identity. You know, like how white people think about race only when it comes to non-white people, not themselves. “[Heterosexual] behavior affects a person’s perception of himself,” Gallagher writes. “The [heterosexual] movement has spawned an entire community and culture within our nation—complete with its own Christian denominations.”

Note that I replaced the word “homosexual” above with “heterosexual.” Heterosexuality, and the gender binary while we’re at it, shape folks like Gallagher hard whether he acknowledges it or not.

The fourth and final thing is that homosexuality makes people sad.

“In my years of ministering in the realm of sexual addiction, it has been clear to me that homosexual activity brings

about emotional suffering and a spiritual corruption that runs very deeply,” he writes. “It doesn’t take much to see how deeply gays have been scarred as a result of the course their lives have taken.”

A couple of things: gays going to someone like Gallagher for ministry are definitely in a bad place. It’s not because they’re gay, it’s because they’ve accepted Gallagher’s narrative that they are shameful and bad.

That’s going to bum anyone out.

But it also speaks very loudly that he says he’s not getting the same suffering and guilt from heterosexual men, even though sexual assault is rampant and we live in a culture that celebrates the sexual conquest of women by men, consent be damned. Our culture is deeply sick when it comes to how we define men and women and our rigid gender expectations. The abuse of women — sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally — should bother straight men a whole heck of a lot more than it does.

You don’t have to look much further than Donald Trump’s “grab ‘em by the pussy” comment. We let that guy be the most powerful man in the world.

In fact, did you know that Trump “spawned an entire community and culture within our nation—complete with its own Christian denominations?”

It really is one of many hot-button questions in our day and age. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living with her wife and son.

She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

Thank you so much for taking the time to get all close and personal with QSaltLake’s readers. How did you two meet?

HUNTER: We met through social media.

CORY: We were social media acquaintances who started our relationship through chatting on Facebook Messenger, then talking on the phone and FaceTiming, to Hunter flying across the country from Nevada to South Carolina to meet in person.

HUNTER: We actually just celebrated the anniversary of when we first met in person.

CORY: We have a lot of anniversaries.

We celebrate the day we met in person.

We celebrate our wedding anniversary, our proposal anniversary, the first time we did this, the first time we did that…

HUNTER: We might overdo it a bit.

True Love:

The Real Housebears of Salt Lake City

BY MICHAEL AARON

Y

ou may know CORY CHITWOOD as the bear in the viral video who proposed to his now-husband, HUNTER ­HARDEN, at the Salt Lake City International Airport. Or you may recognize them from their podcast The Real Housebears talking everything “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.” Or maybe you’ve seen Hunter (and sometimes Cory) as a host, model, and dancer at events across the country like Bearracuda, Bearvasion, Daddy Next Door, and Furball, along with a number of Prides.

As part of our annual LOVE issue, we asked the Salt Lake City couple about their relationship, their lives, and, of course, their podcast.

PHOTO BY BOB WOOD

So, was it love at first site? When did you know it was love?

CORY: I would say it was more like lust at first sight. (laughs) HUNTER: We’ve definitely been attracted to each other since the beginning. It did take us some time to find a lot in common and understand what works so great between us outside of the bedroom.

CORY: True. We had very different interests in the beginning. It took us a while to focus on what we had in common instead of how different we were.

HUNTER: Now we’re finishing each other’s sentences.

CORY: I knew it was real love when we came to a crossroads of being together or going our separate ways, and decided that I couldn’t live without him HUNTER: I think that was defining for both of us.

How long had you two been dating before Cory popped the question?

HUNTER: We were together for six years.

Cory — tell me what was going through your head as you proposed at the airport CORY: I was mostly concerned about keeping my composure and being able to speak. I’m a big ‘ol teddy bear. I get emotional when it comes to people I love. I was also really excited

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

about surprising him at the airport. I knew he had no idea it was coming. I couldn’t wait to see his reaction!

Hunter — at what point did you figure out he was asking you to marry him? What were you thinking?

HUNTER: I had just come back from working an event in Chicago. I was tired. I was so exhausted. When I saw him in nice clothes, I thought it was so nice of him to dress up just to come pick me up from the airport. Then he got down on one knee, and I still don’t remember anything that he said to me, but I knew I wanted to say yes.

How long after you proposed did you marry, and tell me about the wedding.

CORY: Two weeks!

HUNTER: If it was up to my Bear, it would have been one week. He wanted to get married the following Friday.

CORY: Well, we had this trip to Cabo San Lucas booked, and we were going to be gone for a whole month. I

If you love someone, never let them think that you don’t.

—Cory Chitwood

Don’t expect Prince Charming to come sweep you off of your feet. It takes two to make a relationship work. You have to be Prince Charming too.

—Hunter Harden

didn’t know when we would ever have another opportunity like that, so I thought we should turn it into a honeymoon instead of a vacation.

HUNTER: I didn’t get the chance to prance around to all of my friends and talk about “my fiancé” and have an engagement period. He wanted to lock it down right away.

CORY: I had to act fast while you were still tired and confused.

HUNTER: And then we had a surprise

wedding in front of our friends. We were heavy in a pandemic, so it had to be kind of small and intimate.

CORY: We have a friend who worked at Squatter’s downtown. With just a few days notice, he reserved an entire floor for us and was willing to work for us that evening to serve and tend the bar.

HUNTER: So, we invited some friends to an “engagement dinner.”

CORY: They had no idea what was coming. The only people who knew were us and our barber.

HUNTER: Yes, our barber, Fuzzy Nate, officiated our ceremony. He’s the sweetest guy. He’s like family.

CORY: When I got up to offer a toast and thank everyone for coming, I dropped that bomb that instead of being invited to our engagement party, they were invited to our wedding.

HUNTER: Everyone was blown away. There were a lot of tears.

CORY: Nate spoke and gave us a lovely ceremony. We exchanged vows in front of our friends. Then when it was over, it appears that the rest of the restaurant could hear us and they all clapped for us.

Cory — I know you work as an instructor in education software.

Hunter — what do you do?

HUNTER: I’m a model and entertainer on the weekends. During the week I have a job hanging blinds in homes with a private company that is contracted through larger businesses. But for the most part, my weekend job is what I’m known for and where my real passion is. I was really lucky that I was able to travel through the last half of 2021 quite a bit. I was booked almost every weekend to either host an event or perform.

How does that work in the relationship?

CORY: It didn’t work out too poorly last year. I was able to go with you on several trips. I had some leftover miles to use, and I got booked with you a few times.

HUNTER: Yes! We did a few events together, and those are my favorite. I always have the most fun when my Bear is around. It’s no fun for me to go to gigs by myself and not have anyone to talk to. Most of the time, he even makes more tips than I do. He’s a big, hairy bear up there dancing and people don’t see that every day. I’m so proud and annoyed at the same time.

CORY: And then when life ever goes back to some sort of normalcy again, I travel with my job too. When I travel during the week, I’ll meet him in a city on the weekend instead of fly home.

PHOTO BY T.J. AVERETT

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

How did you two end up podcasting about “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City?” What drew you to it?

HUNTER: We had been talking about starting a podcast for a very long time.

We had a lot to say, and we knew we had great banter, but we couldn’t find a focus. We knew it would be about pop culture, and we had a few other ideas to throw in there, but nothing really clicked.

CORY: I have been a “Housewives” fan since the beginning. I haven’t missed a single episode of any city, except for Washington, DC. HUNTER: And I hated reality TV when I met him, especially the “Housewives.”

CORY: But I wore him down!

HUNTER: Actually, it was “Vanderpump Rules.” I was home by myself one day and there was a Vanderpump Rules marathon on. I got sucked into it, and that was my gateway drug to the “Housewives.”

CORY: Then, we were in Cabo for our honeymoon and the “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” premiered.

We watched the premiere episode on our iPad next to the pool.

HUNTER: As soon as the episode was over, we practically looked at each other and said, “we just found our podcast.”

CORY: Talk about love at first sight!

As luck would have it, I had recording equipment with me that I needed for work, and we recorded our first 2 episodes right there in our condo in Cabo.

I’ve noticed a ton of photos of you and the cast of the show. How well do you know them?

CORY: We’ve developed a real friendship with Heather Gay and her best friend/ business partner, Dre. Heather and I went to a concert together last Octo-

Qsaltlake.com |

ber. We’ve all gone out together several times for dinner, drinks, and karaoke as well. We call ourselves Dreather Hardenwood; the ladies’ first names combined with our last names combined.

HUNTER: We had an immediate connection with Whitney Rose and her husband, Justin, too. When we went over to their house to record an interview for our podcast it was like we were hanging out with old friends. I was almost worried that we were staying too long.

CORY: Jen Shah is our “Mama Bear.” That’s how she identifies herself in our text messages.

HUNTER: She cracks me up! She always likes to make a comment about my salacious Instagram posts.

She likes the view from behind.

CORY: Jennie Nguyen was also incredibly lovely. She actually came over to our condo to record the episode.

HUNTER: We were a nervous wreck!

Our house has never been so clean.

CORY: Then we got to meet her family a few days later at her 9-year-old daughter’s book signing event.

HUNTER: That’s also when we met Lisa Barlow. We had no idea she was coming, and couldn’t believe it when we heard her voice say “I love that” as she was entering the room.

CORY: Even though that was the first time we met her, we have interacted with Lisa Barlow since the beginning. We contacted her through social media, and she sent us a free bottle of Vida Tequila.

HUNTER: That was in the very beginning of the podcast, too. We thought we had really made it! We could have NEVER imagined that it would lead to real relationships with any of the women.

Tell me one thing about the RHOSLC cast members that no one knows about.

CORY: One thing that I will say about all of them is that the television cannot possibly capture how beautiful they are in real life. All of them. It’s breathtaking when you meet each one of these women because they’re all so gorgeous.

You spend so many hours staring at them on your tv, but it’s really unexpected when you meet them in person.

HUNTER: Most people don’t know that Heather Gay was a

PHOTOS COURTESY OF HUNTER HARDEN AND CORY CHITWOOD

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

competitive piano player.

CORY: She’s also a great singer. She could probably also be a standup comedian too.

HUNTER: She has a lot of talent. I don’t think people know that.

With so much travel, how do you find the time to do your podcast on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City?

CORY: We never imagined how much time the podcast would take. We seriously had no idea what we were getting into. We were starting from scratch with no knowledge of what would go into producing a weekly podcast.

HUNTER: To be honest, I don’t think we were really looking that far ahead. I don’t know if we were even thinking about what would happen after season 1 was over.

CORY: And now it’s evolved where we incorporate a lot of sound bites from the Real Housewives into our podcast episodes. Producing this podcast takes up way more time than we ever expected.

Luckily, I LOVE to talk about the Housewives, so the work is gratifying. Finding funny and interesting ways to use the sound bites is my new favorite thing.

HUNTER: So, to answer your question, it takes a lot of planning. It takes a lot of looking ahead. Luckily, my Bear thinks that way already. He’s always overthinking and over planning, which is an advantage in this situation. Sometimes

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

Native delivers JOY on Valentine’s Day

we watch each episode. Then, we watch it a second time and take notes, as well as mark down things the ladies say that might work as good sound bites in various situations, or are helpful in telling the story.

HUNTER: After that, we record the episode in the Hot Closet, record the sound bites, and then my Bear edits each episode and adds the sound bites.

we might have to watch the episode separately while I’m out of town then record the podcast when we’re both home.

CORY: It’s quite a process. First

Does the show just stream naturally like we hear it, or do you have to seriously edit it?

CORY: The only real edits are the sound bites. Every now and then we might have a big blunder and have to start something over again, but overall what you hear is how it went in the Hot Closet.

HUNTER: By the way, the “Hot Closet” is literally Cory’s

Photo by Britt Chudleigh

#LOVEISLOVE

Fabby Winner “Best Florist”

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

closet. We take most of the clothes out of it and it’s our studio. The sound quality is impeccable. It’s hot in there though.

In a sentence or two, what do each of you think overall of this season of the show?

HUNTER: There’s so much happening. What’s not to like?

CORY: I think Salt Lake City is the strongest cast of all of the cities. Salt Lake City and Potomac are the reigning queens of “Housewives” currently. The other cities are having some cast issues, but every lady in Salt Lake City is bringing it!

What love advice can you give our readers?

CORY: If you love someone, never let them think that you don’t.

HUNTER: Don’t expect Prince Charming to come sweep you off of your feet. It takes two to make a relationship work.

You have to be Prince Charming too.

Anything else you want to say?

CORY: We just want to say how much we love Salt Lake City! I lived in South Carolina for 21 years and it never felt like home. Salt Lake City felt like home right away. I’m grateful every day to live here. Moving here is the best thing that’s ever happened to us.

HUNTER: As soon as we moved here, we met a great community of friends. I lived in South Carolina for 3 years and never once made a close friend. We’ve met some people here that we really love and get that love back. We really do love it here. Q More info on Cory and Hunter can be found at linktr.ee/therealhousebearsofslc PHOTOS COURTESY OF HARDEN AND CHITWOOD

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

Plan-B Theatre’s ‘The Clean-Up Project’ seeks to create hope

BY CARLETON BLUFORD

I have

felt my entire life that it was my duty to hold space for and watch myself around white people. Whenever I enter a room, I speak well, look presentable, and put everyone at ease so they don’t feel threatened.

But none of that changes my Black skin.

One of my Carleton Bluford first great fears that continued to be weird into adulthood was going swimming with my friends, simply because I knew that when I took my shirt off, they would see that I was all the way Black.

This has been my daily reality for 37 years, and I am tired. I have spent my entire life making sure other people (mostly white people) feel safe around me, and that is clearly not being reciprocated for me and for people like me.

People simply don’t care if I feel safe.

And if they do, it’s only as long as the trend allows. It’s enough for them to feel, deep down, that things aren’t right, but that’s as far as it ever goes. I understand, fighting for equality and justice is physically and emotionally taxing.

People like me have been doing it our whole lives and would very much like to stop. But we don’t yet have that option.

My play, THE CLEAN-UP PROJECT, started as a journal entry. I was trying to make sense of my feelings about the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and everything that ensued. I shared my thoughts with Jerry Rapier at Plan-B Theatre, and he said, “You should write a play.”

I truly believe that he, as a person of color, saw an opportunity to give another person of color the chance to express himself without “asking permission” to do so. He provided me a space to be angry, to talk it out, and for that, I am grateful.

I’m asking a lot of the audience. But I’m not asking anything of them that I don’t experience on the daily. The difference? After 90 minutes in the theatre, they get to go home and breathe.

I distinctly remember being shown, as a child, the violence of Black people swinging by their necks from trees, Black people being beaten, hosed down by firemen. I had to see these things so that I could truly understand what my parents meant when they said to be careful not to put myself in situations where I could be hurt. None of my white friends had to have a similar conversation with their parents.

Jordan Why does this have to be a violent cause?

There’s so much we could do…

Chris Nothing will change until the people in power care enough to change it. And that means a lot more people caring about the lives of people other than themselves. That means marching and protesting until things actually change, not just until you’re tired.

The same principle applies here: if enough people want racial equality and justice, then America has to put more of that on the shelves, right?

It makes me angry that I ever thought that I was most useful to people by being completely amenable and submissive. “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it, and I’ll improve it too.

I’ll be your number one guy and (in retrospect) give you all of my power.”

That is something WE can no longer abide.

THE CLEAN-UP PROJECT is my attempt to rally the troops, to galvanize people to act on the proclamations made from their sofas during the pandemic. We must connect, now, when it is so painful to see eye-to-eye. We cannot go back to the old way. We must create a new normal. It’s the only way to create hope for the future, to even have a future. Q Carleton Bluford’s MAMA premiered at Plan-B Theatre in 2015 and was Utah’s first world premiere by a Black playwright. His latest, THE CLEAN-UP PROJECT, premieres February 17–27, 2022. Click on The Plays at planbtheatre. org. Proof of vaccination and masks are required for in-person attendance; a streaming option is also available.

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Joan Said

44 What Washington couldn’t tell 45 From A to B, to ACROSS Debussy 1 A fairy godmother 46 Worked hard waves it 5 Remove the top from 48 Got some dirt in the skirt, in “A League of 10 Got a little behind Their Own” 14 Personal lubricant 50 Grounded fast flier ingredient 51 Peter Doyle’s partner 15 Oktoberfest dance Whitman 16 Rainbow flag site 53 Sulu’s counselor on 17 One of the Village “Star Trek” People’s outfits 19 Wolfson of Freedom 55 End of what she said 59 Joan to Marry 63 Subject of autoerotic 20 Start of what Joan fantasy? said 64 Words from Cooper 21 More of what she Anderson said 66 WWII machine gun 23 Without a date 67 Ted Casablanca’s 25 Kind of loser tidbits 26 Land of the cut 68 “My Cup Runneth (abbr.)

Over” singer Ed 29 Unrefined metals 69 Loose lady, in the 31 Boob land of Auden 35 Like a straight line, 70 “God loves for short everybody,” to Jane 37 Mireille of “Hanna” Spahr 39 Prevent, with “off” 71 Oz visitor Dorothy 40 More of what she said DOWN 43 Joe Cocker’s “You 1 “What ___ thinking?”

2 What there oughta be ___ Beautiful” PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 37

Qsaltlake.com |

3 Black, to Bonheur 4 Where the salami is hidden 5 Had anal sex with?

6 Sixty-nine and others (abbr.)

7 Crime-solving game 8 “Camille” screenwriter Zoe 9 Best Picture of 1970 10 “H.M.S. Pinafore” and more 11 Didn’t go straight 12 It serves Tel Aviv 13 Say, “We’re just friends...” perhaps 18 “Beatle Bailey” dog 22 Like Emma Donoghue 24 Italian seaport 26 The I’s of Socrates 27 Stallion’s sound 28 Direct elsewhere 30 Heart partners 32 Number of bulbs 33 High-tuition schools 34 Offer an apple to Adam and Steve?

36 Dropping from a will 38 Clown’s pole 41 “Vertigo” actress Kim 42 Most queer, to straights 47 Bring out

49 Rub out 52 U.S. investment 54 Where to see Tom, Dick, or Harry 55 Hunter and namesakes

56 Take the mound 57 Nonheterosexual conception 58 They were under Hoover

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

60 Isherwood’s “ ___ Camera” 61 Baseball great Hershiser 62 NASDAQ rival 65 Mrs., to Colette

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

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4 7

2 5 3 6 8 4 2 5 7 9 1 3 2 8 4 6

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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce  utahlgbtqchamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah  lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition  utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org

1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545

RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main

LEGAL

SOCIAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah

2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org

175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr

Utah Libertarian Party

Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN

Utah Log Cabin Republicans

Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242

Qsaltlake.com |

6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824

 bit.ly/logcabinutah

801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org  fb.me/ utahstonewalldems

 1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm 2nd, 4th Mondays, Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Men Who Move  menwhomove.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

OUT U.S. OLYMPIC MEN’S SLOPESTYLE SILVER MEDALIST GUS KENWORTHY

umen.org

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  bit.ly/upc_sosa  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org

Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org The OUT Foundation  theout.foundation  fb.me/theOUTfoundation Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa

TransAction  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm

Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum

Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org

Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20

Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

 utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

‘The Audacity of a Kiss: A Memoir’

BY LESLIE COHEN, C.2021, RUTGERS UNIVERSITY PRESS, $24.95, 235 PAGES

Don’t move.

Stay entirely still, don’t even breathe.

You’re about to become a symbol of something that’s bigger than you are, something you’ll be proud of for the rest of your days. Don’t flinch, scratch, or sneeze. Just don’t do anything.

Don’t. Move. Unless it’s to turn the pages of “The Audacity of a Kiss” by Leslie Cohen.

Behind every statue is a story, and the one behind those

q scopes FEBRUARY

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19 There could be confusion with a friend regarding the meaning of friendship. All you can do is be the best you can be.

In the end, if you decide it’s a one-sided affair, it might be best to cool off for a bit. Take a break.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 The way you compose yourself may come into question. Even if you aren’t feeling well, there’s no reason to be grumpy. Spend time doing what makes you feel better, whether it be with a friend or solo. Have fun!

GEMINI May 21–June 20 There is love in the air.

Whether you are single or the furthest thing from it, this is the time to show your appreciation to people who matter. Express

representing four people in Christopher Park in New York’s Greenwich Village is no different. But to explain how this monument came about means also telling a long love story and a tale about a nightclub.

Leslie Cohen’s mother was her very best friend, although there were misunderstandings in the relationship. Seven-yearold Leslie couldn’t see why she received pink girly things for her birthday. In later years, she couldn’t understand why her mother deferred to Leslie’s father and endured his abuse.

The one thing Cohen did understand was that once puberty hit, the boys in her neighborhood were no longer pals to roughhouse with. She was supposed to want to date them, and it didn’t entirely make sense, but Cohen went along with it even after she left home for college. She went out with boys and lost her virginity to one, but meeting Beth was yourself, provide gifts, or simply have a night out on the town..

CANCER June 21–July 22 Without knowing what’s ahead, it could be hard to make a big decision. Take time to know what’s at stake and don’t gamble more than you can afford to lose. It’s a nice time to lay low and avoid tempting fate..

LEO July 23–August 22 Seeing is believing and there are some incredible sights to behold right now. Nothing is more exciting than learning new skills and having new experiences. A great feeling is bound to leave you believing in miracles..

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 Have a heart and learn to forget about something a friend said in anger. There is more fun in letting go than holding on. Don’t be afraid to have some makeup activities to ensure the bond is stronger than ever..

the most remarkable thing about higher learning. She was sure she was in love with Beth, but Beth was obsessed with a boy and so Cohen moved on.

She moved on to other men and then women, at a time between when women loving women was unthinkable, and the Summer of Love. Cohen embraced her lesbianism, fell in and out of love, and went into a partnership with three other women to open New York’s first lesbian club, where lesbians and straight feminists were welcome to dance and drink.

To be sure, it was a heady time. Cohen worked nonstop, gained confidence, and learned to run a bar business.

She was busy, but happy.

And then Beth came back into her life…

Let’s face it: author Leslie Cohen’s life story is basically like that of a lot of lesbians born at the beginning of the Baby Boom. A solid childhood,

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Nothing is more interesting than an upcoming event. Whether it be personal or work-related, it’s a good opportunity to figure out what you really care about. Even if things aren’t perfect, it won’t matter. Go discover!.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Let go of the need to classify a relationship for the time being. It’s possible to see that coins have more than one side and diverse values. Mix business with pleasure but don’t lose sight of what really matters.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

New and old friends alike are bound to come around this month. Make time for everyone, even if it means having a party or group activity. The best way to build a network is to spread the love and find new interests..

confusion, self-awareness, entrepreneurship all make a somewhat familiar story set apart by one abundant thing: warmth.

Indeed, “The Audacity of a Kiss” is an easy tale. It’s comfortable, like a crackling fireplace and a glass of wine on a cushy sofa. There are accomplishments here, told so that you really share the pride in them. Readers are shown the struggle that Cohen had, too, but experiences are wellframed by explanations of the times in which they occurred, with nothing overly-dramatic — just the unabashed truth, and more warmth. Opening this book, in a way, then, is like accepting an invitation to own the recliner for an evening, and you won’t want anything else.

Younger lesbians will get a lot from this book, but anyone who’s been there will relish it. Get “The Audacity of a Kiss,” then sit down … and don’t move. Q

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

Something crazy is going to happen. Whether that is good or bad remains to be seen. Do what you can with what life gives.

A financial matter needs attention. Determine what you want and simply go with the flow.!

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 The best part of this month will be spending time with a loved one or family member.

There is so much adversity in the world but it won’t be a factor.

Embrace the love and enjoy what makes the world so great..

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Question the motives of a co-worker or old friend who may seem more chummy than they should be. It’s possible they are out to get you or it could be their way of mending fences. Either way, be kind but cautious.. Q

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

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town class of 2021 is in the books, and we are impressed with the freshman class that included 14 new retail shops and 22 new restaurants and bars. We applaud these merchants’ chutzpah! We too are bullish on the downtown economy: the downtown residential community will double by 2025 and employers are growing and relocating to downtown. The momentum continues, we count another dozen businesses opening soon in 2022 … including: BOURBON HOUSE GROUP is delighting us once again with the announcement that Edison, a petite street packed with potential, will be the newest addition to their storied collection of restaurants. Across from BRICK & MORTAR, THE WARHOL, a renovated warehouse offering luxury rentals, will house the new concept on the ground floor. With the new liquor store expected to break ground soon, and the existing ROCTACO, COPPER COMMON, DIABOLICAL RECORDS, and MORTAR & PESTLE, this lusty little lane is going to get even more loads of love from us.

Congratulazioni to SALT AND OLIVE, opening between UNDER CURRENT and GOURMANDISE. One roof, two concepts: a cafe/bodega opens every day from 8am– 8pm, and a restaurant opens 11:30am–11:30pm. Don’t you just love consistency? Stop in for an espresso and croissant

in the morning; return for a leisure lunch over chianti and a hand-tossed Margherita pizza; swing in later and say, “Ciao!” with bucatini and linger longer with a semifreddo affogato! Bellissima!

We’ve been sitting on this for a few months, so we’re delighted to share that Salt Lake’s second food hall is under construction at the AVIA on 300 East 400 South. THE LOCAL MARKET & BAR will bring seven concepts and one bar with Chef Akhtar Nawab at the helm. This guy is kind of a big deal and it says a lot about SLC that we nabbed him. A Kentucky-born chef who was a protege of Tom Colicchio and mentor to David Chang, he has an Indian heritage and embraces Mexican cuisine.

You can imagine his flavors are complex and innovative.

He’s consulted around the world, opened restaurants around the world, and his next is in your backyard.

We love dark wood-paneled walls with white table cloths,

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

FOOD & DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

so we’ll be first to make those rezys at the long-awaited THE CAPITAL GRILLE when it opens in the next four months.

Another top-secret high-end steak restaurant is expected in this same neighborhood later this year, that is in addition to Scott Evans’ new meat-centric creation coming to HOPE GALLERY… this area is quickly becoming Carnivore Country.

Looking to open a restaurant? Hines, the owner of the historic, handsome and newly renovated Kearns Building is looking for a restauranteur for the ground floor that once was home to Jos. A.

Banks. This soaring sanctuary would be a sublime shrine for a supreme star — with sweeping views of SLC’s Main Streets and literally seconds from the Eccles.

Going once, going twice?

Another available retail space is opening up at 272 South 200 East, Misc Boutique, the well-edited vintage clothing boutique on Broadway is adjusting its business model and owner Missy Baber reports the landlord is great to work with. Q

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28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX

sex and salt lake city

Born this way?

BY DR. LAURIE BENETT-COOK

The

cul-de-sac I live on is pretty neighborly.

Each month a different house takes a turn and hosts the neighborhood for a hearty potluck. Most recently, it was my and my husband’s turn. The evening started off as it usually does – with lively conversation about various mundane aspects of everyday life. Very quickly, though, as is also usually the case, the conversation took a deep dive into the latest of our local political scene.

On this particular evening, the conversation drifted to the hotbed topic of conversion therapy. Being a publicly

liberal person, it’s rarely a surprise to others where I stand on topics such as this one. What was (pleasantly) surprising to me was how many in my neighborhood were as equally opposed to conversion therapy as I am. But, as is the case with all groupings of people, not everyone agrees on all things all the time.

One guest began sharing with me she has a daughter who is going through the process of transitioning to male – all the while referring to her child by their birth-given pronouns and name. She told the story of her child’s gender jour-

Qsaltlake.com |

ney and how she had failed as a parent for not catching it early.

According to her, conversion therapy would probably have worked if she had access to it before her child reached puberty. Also, according to her, children are completely malleable before the age of 12, and nothing sex or gender is ever innate. When done sharing, she heaved a big sigh and said: “But I know I just need to love her. After all, she was born this way.” To which I replied: “Him.” “Born this way.” I’ve heard the term often enough, especially over the past several weeks while the topic of conversion therapy holds its place steady in the forefront of our news headlines. But this time, it triggered me. I found myself feeling insulted that “born this way” was being used as a qualifier for acceptance by a mother to fully love her child. Here before me, this mother somehow felt the need to justify the existence of her child because some part of her felt they were not valid enough as they are.

Personally, I am of the mindset we need to remove it as a qualifier. Over and over, we hear how we need just to love those whose gender or sexuality falls outside of hetero or gender normative because, well, “they’re born that way” as if it’s a disability of some sort. Descriptively using the term “born this way” puts people in a place of being considered “less than,” and that shouldn’t be OK with any of us.

Why does it matter? Because words matter. Because using these words as a way to solicit acceptance through pity is something society has done to justify those who don’t fit neatly into hetero/gender-normative boxes. Being born, how-

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

ever, we should be something to celebrate. Regardless of our individual expressions of sexuality or gender, we are still valid human beings with real feelings, dreams, goals, and fears.

When will we, as a society, realize the validity of a person has nothing to do with who or how they love, how they dress, or what pronouns they use?

As for my dinner guest, I let her talk and get whatever she felt she needed to say out. Near the end of her sharing with me, she stated she wished she had someone to talk to who understood all this “transgender stuff.”

Well, as the saying goes, be careful what you ask for. I introduced her to my husband, who happens to be a psychiatry fellow and medical director of a large transgender health clinic in Los Angeles. The two of them continued the conversation for a long time.

She left our home happy and thanked us both for talking with her. I like to believe her mind was opened a bit that evening and that she gained a greater level of acceptance and love for her child, realizing that he doesn’t need her to be fixing him in any way, but rather for her to be supportive.

I like to believe that, but truly I don’t know. I’d also like to believe the harm being done to so many innocent children in the name of love will end soon. But only time will tell.

I’d also like to believe that one-day, acceptance for those who are “born this way” or any other and everything in-between will be void of pity and instead contain pure love. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a Clinical Sexologist with a private practice in L.A. and SLC. She can be reached at DrLaurieBennettCook@gmail.com

FEBRUARY, 2022 |

Issue 332 | Qsaltlake.com

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30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 332 | FEBRUARY, 2022

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of the ice queen cometh

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to the hot spring is fraught with danger and excitement.

I went to Crystal Hot Springs resort on New Year’s Day. It turned out to be an exciting, yet harrowing near-death experience.

First off, the changing room encounter is always a dreadful event. Out of courtesy for the other patrons, and in an effort to not traumatize the children, I try to use one of the privacy-cubicle changing booths. This, it turned out, was a near impossibility. The cubby hole was so small, that I couldn’t even fit my Teton-Esque breasticles and my substantially gravity-enhanced buttockus rotundus inside the booth at the same time. Consequently, I was unable to close the curtain, thereby emotionally scarring at least two kids as they passed by.

The next challenge was to squeeze my bottomus maximus into my swimming suit. Now, I have a bit of a fetish about spandex, especially when worn by some of those hunky models in the Speedo ads.

I quickly realized my bubble butt had progressed into dirigible dimensions and that a skintight swimming brief would not suit my heroically proportioned bottom.

So, I wanted to purchase one of those spandex jammer suits with the longer legs for more coverage. No store had one large enough to encompass my blimpy bottom.

Consequently, my queenly bedazzling gene kicked in. I got a can of black paint and spray-painted one of my girdles black.

Then I glued on a rhinestone buckle and voila! Instant fashion swimwear!

I was titillatingly excited to debut my homemade jammer suit. Well, the thrill quickly turned into trauma as I began forcefully clutching the waistband and pulling with all my might to get the stretchy fabric up over my buns-of-bacon.

Halfway through, I had to sit down and take a breather before I had a stroke. Finally, after much anguish and many swear words, the mighty feat was accomplished.

I stepped out of the cubicle and caught

a glimpse of myself in the mirror. This visage was not just some run-of-the-mill love handles. In this case, my heroically proportioned queen-sized muffin top could most correctly be described as the Hindenburg squeezing into an empty toilet paper roll. In the words of Winston Churchill, “Never was so much owed by so many to so few” (threads of fabric)!

Then it was out to the pools. The ambient air temperature was a brisk nine degrees Fahrenheit. I took one step outside and immediately shrieked as the frigid air came in contact my nipples. Instantly, some of my more private body parts shrank and retreated.

Obviously, a hasty trip to the hot pool was in order. However, ice buildup on the walkway made the journey quite a slippery treacherous obstacle course.

The steam rising from the hot pools was so thick, it was nearly impossible to see where I was going. I slowly made my way through the cloud of steam, with my outstretched arms feeling for any obstacles. I had made it about ten yards sliding along when I slipped on the ice-covered walk. Just before I went all the way down, I felt someone wrap their strong arms around my waist from behind and break my fall. As he held onto me, I could feel his nearly naked body pressed up against mine in a near spooning posture. My heart skipped a beat in the excitement. Ever so slowly, (because I wanted him to keep holding onto me), I turned around to thank him.

Through the fog, I could just barely make out the gymnastic build of an incredibly handsome, 20-something Adonis.

“Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last, I’ve found you.”

After assuring that I was alright, my hero kept holding onto me and helped me the rest of the way into the pool. My mind raced with romantic possibilities as we entered the water together. Just as I was about to turn around and reciprocate his embrace, he unceremoniously let go of me and swam away into the fog.

After some time in the hot water, the feeling began to return to my extremities and I was able to wade around in the water, searching for my Adonis hero. I could not see him anywhere. Either he was purposely hiding from me, or he was a guardian angel sent from heaven to save me, and then he returned.

During my search, another stunningly handsome guy came towards me, with a huge “come hither” smile on his face. I thought, “Oh my. Another stroke of luck!”

Sadly, as I was about to begin conversing with this guy, he passed me by and met up with a girl who was behind me. DAMN! Always a bridesmaid, never the bride!

After about three circumnavigations of the pool, with no hero in sight, a little bratty kid made a huge splash of water and got my beehive hair wet.

To my dismay, I discovered that the Aqua Net hairspray holding my hair together is water-soluble, and my hair began to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the “Wizard of Oz.” By the time I made it back to the dressing room, an icicle capable of sinking the Titanic had formed in my hair.

It was obviously time to go home.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Will my personal liability insurance cover the therapy for the traumatized kids, or do I need to file a claim with the resort’s insurance?

2. Just what is the tensile strength of spandex?

3. What kind of lube best helps spandex stretch over fat?

4. Since private parts shrink in the cold, is tucking made unnecessary in freezing weather?

5. Should I install fog lights on my breasticles?

6. And most importantly, does spandex make my ass look fat?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

Molly Mears, MD

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