Quest Spring 2023

Quarriers make you stronger to deal with what you have to deal with.

Page 4-5

Appeal update • Page 2

Recovery in Moray • Page 10

Catriona is doing the Kiltwalk • Page 14

Spring 2023

News and updates

Thankyou

Your donations bring hope to more young people

Thank you to each and every person who responded to our ask for help at Christmas. Your donations to the Box of Hope appeal gave homeless young people some much needed Christmas cheer.

Young people supported at Quarriers youth homeless services at Christmas received a personal gift. We hope these messages from some of them show the difference you made.

Wow – this is amazing that you do this. I wasn’t expecting anything.

Jodie

This is a real help. I was worried how I could afford a Christmas meal. Thank you so much!

Tyler

Thank you for the bath set. It’s made my day, after the week I’ve had.

Amy

I love my hamper, what a nice thing to do.

Kai

Before... ...and after! Toiletries for young people were packaged up into Christmas pamper packs.

Team member Billy gave out the presents at the Supported Youth Housing Christmas party.

New services

Reaching out

Children can struggle with school attendance for many reasons, but one thing is sure – missing school consistently can have a damaging impact on young lives.

A new service called REACH (Respond, Engage, Ask, Connect, Hope) is helping children in Glasgow City who have prolonged non-attendance or are starting to show signs of nonattendance at school.

Run jointly by Glasgow City Council and Quarriers, it is Glasgow’s first emotionally-based school nonattendance service and will be available to all 140 primary schools and 30 secondary schools in the city.

Across Scotland there has been an increase in the number of children experiencing challenges in relation to their school attendance since the Covid pandemic.

A Note on Quest Content

REACH staff will work one-to-one with children to help build strengths and discover what works best for them.

The team will work with children throughout the year including during summer holidays and will be one of the 32 Quarriers services who could benefit from the annual Children’s Fund appeal, which will launch in May.

The work we do at Quarriers covers many aspects of the experience of being human. Some of these experiences can be difficult, for different and deeply personal reasons, and we know that they can be tough to read about. We really value your connection to our work and your support and welcome any feedback or suggestions about the content of Quest. You can email quest@quarriers.org.uk Join

If you haven't done so already, make sure you're kept up-to-date with Quarriers news, events and opportunities by joining our mailing list. Contact quest@quarriers.org.uk or call 01505 690 875 to sign up!

Mary Daybell is a retired English teacher and literacy specialist. She’s a caring mum and gran, a loving wife to her husband Peter, and since Peter’s dementia diagnosis in 2017, she is also an unpaid carer. She talks about the support she has had from Quarriers in Moray.

My husband Peter was diagnosed with dementia aged 66. Our long and happy retirement was not to be.

You get the diagnosis, they give you a prescription and they say “Go home and make the most of it.” Eventually we moved to Elgin to be close to our daughter. It was the middle of lockdown and services stopped talking to you. I had to fight to get an assessment. The bottom line was we needed help.

Peter’s decline was rapid. He had been in the Air Force, and there was a stage in his Alzheimer’s when he would imagine himself in difficult situations in the night. Those times were horrendous. I’d be begging him to stop, and he couldn’t. I felt like I just didn’t have the resources in my own personality to solve it.

Being referred to the Carer Support Service was a relief. It felt like someone could see I needed something, that my mental health was important

Looking back, I was disappearing as a person. I was doing it willingly, but it was wiping me out completely. You don’t want to think of yourself as a carer. When you get married, it’s for in sickness and in health, and you just think you’d better get on with it.

The staff at Quarriers made me feel I counted.

Because it was lockdown, I was offered telephone support. Anna was my support worker and without fail, she would phone every week. As soon as walks were allowed, she would walk with me. We’d moved to a new area, and Peter’s condition

“Looking back, I was disappearing as a person.”

meant that we couldn’t just say “we’ve moved to a new place, let’s invite the neighbours in” so I was very isolated. Really, what Anna did was so wonderful – she befriended me.

Since then, there has been constant change and transitions, with support from Quarriers coming in and out at different times – like when Peter had to go into residential care. In the end, other people had to tell me it was time. It’s so difficult, you’re crying in the corner, you know it’s time, but you need someone to say it.

Now, it’s a strange situation I am in. It’s like you’re a widow but you’re not a widow. For over 40 years, I was in a couple and now people don’t quite know how to deal with me socially –am I in a couple or am I single?

When you’ve been doing the caring, so much about your own identity is caught up in the caring role, but there is also the loss of my husband. The person you want to talk to isn’t there to talk to.

No one can give you a fix. What Quarriers do is offer small ways to top up your own resources.

There are so many different sessions, workshops and different things that Quarriers can tune you into. You do find yourself thinking “Do I really want to do that?” but then it’s always worth trying what they suggest. They also asked me to get involved in helping interview candidates for a new post. It was humbling and I was delighted to be asked. I felt “I can do other things, not just look after my husband.”

carersmoray@quarriers.org.uk

01343 556031

quarriers.org.uk/moray

For Quarriers carer support in other areas, email hello@quarriers.org.uk

I have been supported by Quarriers for over two years now and Anna is there for me to talk to when I need it. The awful thing is when people sign you off and you think “but I still need the support”. That’s the worst feeling.

The brilliant thing about Quarriers is the effort they put in to finding those little things that will help you as an individual, as the person who you are.

Quarriers make you stronger to deal with what you have to deal with.

If you are in Moray and caring for somebody, we can help.

And the award goes to…

The Oscars have nothing on Quarriers SOLE Awards, a special day of celebration for a group of services that supports over 40 people with learning disabilities.

Held at the Glasgow Crowne Plaza, the black-tie event was a chance to celebrate the achievements of people we support and staff alongside each other. Awards categories included Biggest Achiever, Most Courageous Person and Best Team.

Tracy Kelly was one of many people pulling together to organise the event and says “After a very difficult couple of years, we wanted to do something to celebrate and to bring us all together.

“For the adults we support, getting an award is something to aim for. It boosts their self-esteem and for some, even getting a nomination and a mention on the day brought tears.”

The event was only made possible through fundraising by the staff, and the team is already planning next year’s event, with the SOLE STRIDERS –a 43-strong team of staff and people we support – taking on the Glasgow Kiltwalk in April.

To sponsor any of our Kiltwalk teams, visit: www.justgiving.co.uk/quarriers

OUTSTANDING PEOPLE AWARDS

Pitching support for young men

How do we help young men to talk about mental health?

A brilliant new development at Quarriers Resilience for Wellbeing Service in the Scottish Borders is getting out and about and connecting with young men through that most historical and popular Borders pastime – rugby.

Service Manager Angela Freeman says “The idea of expanding our service to partner with Scottish Rugby and local rugby clubs* came about because we looked at our figures and we could see there was a gap in young males accessing the existing wellbeing and resilience support we provide – even though all the evidence tells us that young men are struggling with their mental health.”

Pitch-side mental health sessions and training for rugby club staff mean that mental health conversations happen.

With the rates of suicide among those aged 15-24 increasing each year since 2015, that early intervention can prevent the very worst of outcomes. The service has already shown how that can happen – a young player who was feeling vulnerable and had withdrawn from peers and family with the intention of harming himself was helped by his fellow players, averting a potential tragedy. Now the plan is to expand the

Hear what Angela says about the project on video at www.quarriers.org.uk/borders

Exam time worries and how to take care

It’s that time of year when those of us who have teenage family members might be seeing the effects of the stresses of approaching exams.

Mood swings, changes in eating and sleep patterns and withdrawal from family life are behaviours many of us may recognise in young people who are anxious about exams, and it can be a real worry.

The team at the Borders Resilience for Wellbeing Service works in all nine secondary schools across the Borders, and at this time of year they run exam stress workshops to help young people cope better. They have put together some top tips to share with young people.

Three tips for the night before an exam

Positive imagery

Spend some time visualising a good exam experience. Just imagining that everything could go all right can boost confidence.

Focus on yourself

Don’t compare yourself to others. It can make you feel stressed. Instead, think about you and what you can control.

A good night’s sleep

You have done all you can now. It’s time to give your brain time to rest and to make the most of a good night’s sleep. It’s much more important than lastminute cramming.

And one top tip for parents... just listen!

Angela Freeman, Service Co-ordinator, says

“There are so many expectations of high achievement at exam time. For many young people the feeling is ‘My future starts now. It all rests on this.’ Take a moment to imagine how that feels. It’s not surprising it can be overwhelming for them. If your young person is anxious, don’t dismiss them with ‘ocht, it will be fine’ and don’t try and fix it for them. We really just need to be there and listen to young people. That means not listening while we’re thinking about what we’re going to say next, but listening in order to really hear young people.”

For more resources from the team in the Borders visit, quarriers.org.uk/ borders

Connections to recovery

Quarriers Arrows Service

works with adults and families affected by substance use. Connection is key.

Based in the centre of Elgin, Arrows offers one-to-one support, talking therapy and harm reduction advice for anyone worried about drug and alcohol use.

The service is focused on providing people with access to something Service Manager Justin Jansen calls recovery capital. “What that means,” says Justin, “is the sum total of resources a person can access to sustain their recovery. Substances affect

someone four ways – physically, mentally, emotionally and morally (or spiritually). For Arrows to be successful, we’ve got to help people fix things in those four areas. Family, relationships, having something to do in the day, health and fitness, employability. All of these things become part of the recovery capital journey.”

The journey into and out of addiction is something Justin understands because he himself has been in recovery for 12 years.

“My parents used substances, and I was brought up around it,” he says.

I want people to know there is hope, they can recover, and they don’t have to do it alone.

Justin Jansen Service Manager, Arrows

“Addicts take drugs and alcohol because we’ve been through a lot of pain and what I call dis-ease. We’re not at ease with the world or ourselves. Drugs and alcohol bring about a certain amount of ease, and to find ease in other ways isn’t the easiest journey. Having a supportive community of people around is really imperative to people’s recovery.”

Arrows offers up to 20 support groups every week, including Alcoholics Anonymous, music groups, art therapy and acupuncture – all focused on helping people to make connections and break down stigma.

“I don’t think the stigma that society puts on substance users is as bad as the stigma that substance users put on themselves,” Justin says. “A lot of us would not speak to other people the way we speak to ourselves. So that leads to isolation. The service is focused on ‘What can we provide that allows a person to connect –which in turn allows them to grow in self-esteem, self-worth, self-belief’.”

One place where people supported by Arrows are coming together and building connections is on the football pitch.

Active Recovery Moray is a weekly football session run by Arrows in partnership with Elgin Sports Community Trust, Moray Community Sports Hub and Police Scotland.

“The idea came from a discussion with Police Scotland about giving

Having a supportive community of people around is really imperative to people’s recovery.

people something positive to do that would improve mental health and help reduce re-offending,” says Justin.

“There are so many benefits to these sessions. We’ve found the discussions after the games between support workers and the people they support seem to be much deeper than they would be in just doing an assessment. Everyone’s physical fitness is much improved, which in itself is great recovery capital.”

The sessions are open to anyone who wants to come along. “We’ve opened it up to the whole community and a lot of that is also just to tear down that stigma. We’re saying ‘Come play football with the guys – there’s gonna be some substance users there and you’ll see that they’re normal people’.”

A whole mix of regulars attend, including members of Police Scotland,

Participants reported a 37% increase in their mental wellbeing after six weeks of football sessions.

the Arrows team, people supported by Arrows, and anyone who feels that a game of football would help their mental health.

19-year-old Connor comes often and says “After Covid, I’d been dealing with depression for about 18 months.

“I enjoy coming down to the games. I can come and talk to guys who understand it without feeling ashamed. I’ve had conversations with other guys here that have helped me to open up.”

I can come and talk to other guys who understand it without feeling ashamed. Connor

*Source: Moray Community Sports Hub

Johnny is another participant who has gone from strength to strength and is now volunteering as a coach and facilitator.

“When the team at Arrows suggested a game of football I was like ‘OK, I’ll come down’ and I never really thought much of it,” says Johnny. “But I’ve just flourished. Now I’m organising things and I feel like I’m doing a cracking job.

“For me personally – I’ve got ADHD –it means I put my phone down for a couple of hours. When you’re playing football it’s just you and the football and your team mates. After the game, it changes your mood.

“These guys love it – every week they can’t wait to come down and kick the ball and release emotion in a positive way. Some people here have gone through a lot of trauma, loss, trying to get off the drugs and alcohol, financial worries. I see a massive difference in folk – more of a brightness in people.”

Pop in: 23 High Street, Elgin

Tel: 01343 610 500

Text: 07812 228547

Email: arrows@quarriers.org.uk

It's helping people shine. Johnny

Supporting Stars @ the

I hadn’t realised the impact that was having on his sister Isla until lockdown. You were in your whole family’s company for weeks. I’d find myself saying “Isla, can you just…” and it is just a big sister helping a wee brother, but there’s a lot of things Ryan can’t do, so there’s much more Isla’s doing than the average big sister. For example, Ryan can’t zip up his jacket so sometimes I’ll say “Isla, can you help him get zipped up.” He gets anxious about going upstairs in the house on his own so I’ll ask her to go with him to get things from his room. He will also go to Isla for help with things if he sees I’m busy.

As soon as lockdown was over I got in touch with the Quarriers Aberdeenshire Young Carers service.

Catriona with her dog Arlo who will be joining her for the Kiltwalk

My son Ryan has additional support needs.

I hadn’t realised how much responsibility Isla had. I started to realise “she is a young carer”.

Catriona Grey explains why she’s taking on the Aberdeen Kiltwalk in aid of Quarriers.

Isla’s support worker Lisa helped her write a young carers statement. When Isla brought it home she said “Mum I don’t want you to read it because I don’t want you to think bad of me.” When I did read it I was almost in tears. It was really clear that what she had needed was somebody neutral to speak to.

All the things that had been bubbling underneath for her came flooding out.

One thing I had no idea about was that Isla really wanted to spend time with her dad and me on her own. I’d always tried to fit in the odd girly day in town for her and I to have some one-on-one time but what she wanted more than anything was to spend time with her mum and her dad.

Ryan finds it hard to go to relatives, but we managed to fix it for him to go to grandparents and we went white water rafting with Isla for her birthday, which was exactly what she wanted – and needed.

Now, I know that Isla has her support worker to speak to, and I understand that there are some things she speaks to Lisa about which she doesn’t speak to me about. That can be hard, but I also want her to have an adult that she can confide in. That’s what I was looking for when I called the service.

I’m super proud of Isla and all that she takes on for her wee brother. Other children don’t always get it, so I hope she can connect with other young carers in similar situations. It’s good to know she’s not alone.

• Make sure you do plenty of walks in the run up.

• Gradually do longer and longer distances.

• Make sure you do one walk that is not far off the total final distance you will do. Last time, I didn’t do that, and I found the end of the walk gruelling!

I wanted to do the Kiltwalk in aid of Quarriers to say thank you for all the support.

I’ve actually done it before, so I know what to expect. For training I go out with the dogs and that is my time for myself. I put my headphones on, get my podcasts on and it’s all good.

I don’t know where I would have been without Quarriers.

Catriona’s tips for Kiltwalk

Catriona and Arlo with Ryan's assistance dog Tilly