POETRY CORNER ANXIETY By: Jada Carrington
because I know that if I said anything else they wouldn't understand, so I just leave it at "I can't"..., Why can't you? You're so weird, gets some guts, why are you scared? Just try it, you'll be ok, we'll make those fears go away. everybody wants me to answer but I have nothing really to say, a million thoughts rush through my head yet I don't have a voice, I want it all to just stop but I don't have that choice. Do you know what it's like to be in a place full of people and feel like all eyes are on you, and that you're always being talked about no matter what you do, hearing laughter and imagining their stares but never actually looking over cause by this point you're way to scared, heart beating faster, hands getting sweaty, blood rushing through your body everywhere. Feeling sick, can't think straight and just hoping that you can get out of there, but time only seems to get slower, and your patience seems to grow shorter and everything now just looks like a blur, can't really breathe and no sense in trying to talk cause most of your words will be in a slur. I always think why must I cause myself to over react but here I am again facing yet another panic attack,
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and what's worse and really kind of sad is having a panic attack that no one else knew you had, feeling like everyone saw it but really it was just your mind playing tricks. can't tell anyone because you're afraid of being judged and never looked at the same, being taken as joke and being played like a game. Sosome how you manage to keep it all inside, every emotion, every feeling and every thought you hide, not wanting to but this is what happens when your thoughts and your feelings collide, while still blending in, you kind of start to fade, it's hard living in a world that you feel doesn't even know you exist and tries to push things on you that you want to resist
but you have to just stay strong when you're living in this type of society, hoping one day for a world that will take away your anxiety, so to answer your question, no the world doesn't scare me, let me make this very clear, the truth is the only thing that I'm really afraid of is simply my own fears.
