Friendship and Habit Formation

How our friends influence our behavior.

BY: Ryan Tian

Our social circles inevitably shape who we are—it’s been well-established that we can pick up habits, attitudes, and even phrases from our friends. But why does this phenomenon occur? It turns out, the answers lie in the realms of behavioral psychology and sociology.

Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory offers a plausible explanation. According to Bandura, we learn behaviors from our environment by observing others and modeling our actions after theirs. When we see a friend engaging in a behavior that seems rewarding, we may adopt the behavior ourselves, hoping for similar outcomes.

Similarly, Mirror Neuron Theory, postulated by Giacomo Rizzolatti and his team, proposes that our brains have ‘mirror neurons,’ which fire both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else performing that action. This mechanism drives imitation and empathy, pushing us to unconsciously adopt the behaviors of our friends.

Meanwhile, within sociology, the concept of Group Conformity, first proposed by sociologist Solomon Asch, highlights how group pressure can significantly influence individual behavior. Asch’s research suggests that we often conform to group norms, meaning if our friend group has certain habits or slang, we’re likely to adopt these to fit in.

Evidence supporting these theories is abundant. For example, a study by Christakis and Fowler found that habits, particularly health-related ones such as smoking and obesity, can spread through social networks. This study indicated that our friends’ behaviors can profoundly influence our own, especially if we spend a considerable amount of time with them.

Our susceptibility to friends’ influences isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a fundamental aspect of our social nature. Understanding this can help us leverage the positive aspects of this social synchronization, fostering habits that contribute to personal growth and wellbeing. However, as Bandura suggested, self-efficacy and personal agency also play crucial roles in determining which behaviors we choose to adopt. As such, while we may be influenced by our friends, our choices ultimately shape our behavior.

So, the next time you find yourself ordering the same meal as your friend or using their catchphrase, don’t be surprised. It’s all part of being human, the intrinsically social and adaptive creatures that we are.