Mental Breakdown MAKEOVER

Why do we give ourselves makeovers when going through life changes?

BY: Samantha Roehl

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a girl going through a hard time, must be in want of a haircut. Or a dye job. Or a new piercing. But why is it that we feel the need to change our appearance when we’re going through a period of change?

“Changing our appearance is a form of control,” said Sophie Koch, who is getting her Master’s in Professional Clinical Counseling at La Salle University. “We cannot control what happens to us, the decisions, words, or actions of others, or how we feel. As much as people tell you to control your emotions, you can’t. We can control how we look.”

Linh Nguyen, a sophomore data science major, was devastated when she got broken up with in high school. But once she was out of the self-described “crazy” relationship, she decided it was finally time to make a change and cut her hair short.

“I kind of want[ed] to do more self-investment because I fe[lt] like ‘Oh I’ve been ignoring myself for too long’ and the ending of the relationship was the boost, the thing to empower me to do that,” said Nguyen.

She headed to the salon where she got her hair cut short and dyed.

“I’m not sure it’s the same thing for everyone, but I feel like when you end some relationships, you would have some reflection,” said Nguyen. “So when you have that self-reflection you kind of look back at who you were and heading into the future you want to invest in yourself more, you want to feel prettier sometimes.”

And she is not alone. According to a survey conducted by All Things Hair, 70% of women change their hair after a breakup. But it’s not a reaction reserved for only the end of romantic relationships — the end of friendships can also trigger a change in self-expression.

For junior English major Reagan Watkin’s 21st birthday, she and her best friend got matching tattoos — the word “always” in red on their ribs.

Fast forward a year, and Watkins found herself ghosted.

After multiple attempts to ask what had happened and months of no contact, Watkins finally tracked her down to the lash salon she worked at through some Instagram sleuthing. After the confrontation ended with the two on bad terms, Watkins thought it was time to get her tattoo covered up.

“I made an appointment, I saved up, I knew exactly what I wanted,” Watkins said. She got a dragon, with shades of red and orange, to cover up the old tattoo. “It’s really pretty and one of my favorite tattoos now. And it definitely brought me a lot of closure and peace and I feel a lot better about the situation.”

Whether it’s a temporary change such as a hair cut or dye job or a permanent one such as a new (or revamped) tattoo, changing our appearances allows us a measure of control in an uncontrollable world. It’s a way to reassert ourselves, to start over, to try something new.

But is it a healthy coping mechanism?

… It depends.

“We need to look at how that change is affecting someone’s life,” said Koch. “If the change is aimed to help someone be the person they want to be, of course. We call that workability. Is it workable for them? If going blonde increases someone’s confidence, sure. It is not harming them.”

There’s another side to that, though. If you change your appearance to match what someone else wants, or are doing so in a self-destructive way, it can become a problem.

“It truly depends on what the change is, why someone has made a change, and how that change is serving someone,” said Koch.

While some changes are permanent, changing your hair or your wardrobe is an easy way to gain a new perspective or get a fresh start. Between writing and editing this story, I got my hair cut shorter than it has been since elementary school — the confidence boost was enormous. As long as changes are not destructive, there’s no reason not to go for it. And remember: hair will grow back.