O
rgasm Gap
Yes, sir. No, sir. Please. Thank you. This is the vocabulary women are taught to adhere to. “Because women are supposed to be of service to men,” said sophomore Political Science major Madeline Gallagher. “Women are taught to be agreeable and play nice,” said Amy*, a senior psychology student. It is these gendered expectations that have led to the inequitable distribution of power, and pleasure, between men and women. The wage gap between men and women is largely publicized in the media. However, this article will be discussing a different kind of gap— the orgasm gap. The orgasm gap is the occurrence, primarily in heterosexual intimate encounters, of men having more orgasms than women, according to Psychology Today. The question is, why does this phenomenon occur? How can we close the gap? The orgasm gap is a product of our culture, said Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Cassie Willnauer.
36 The Indulgence Issue
And that culture, the one in which we live, is the penis culture. “We’re ultimately in a culture that centers penis pleasure,” said Wilnauer. “Women are taught that sex isn’t necessarily for them and that their pleasure makes them dirty, so they don’t seek it or they don’t feel like they’re allowed to seek it.” Because of her female identity and religious upbringing, Smith still feels afraid to ask for what she wants in bed. “Even now, I’m afraid,” said Smith. “It’s hard to critique a man, especially when it comes to intimacy, because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” So, the question still remains, how do we solve this problem? How do we close the gap? First, we need to throw out traditional gender-based expectations, said Smith. “Both men and women are conditioned to be in certain roles and it’s the breaking down and tearing down of those roles that will help communication and that communication will lead to orgasm,” Smith said. Communication is especially vital when interacting with sexually-uneducated men. Growing up surrounded by purity culture, many men may not have had the proper sexual education to understand that women are sexual beings who experience pleasure, said Willnauer.
