We’re not in Kansas anymore

Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

Written by: Kya Merriman

Ritenour High School Child Development teacher

Jennifer Wilson has recently been accused of using magic powers to turn her students into the simulation dolls used in class.

Wilson admits to transforming students into plastic babies for her Child Development classes to use. When asked what her reasoning was behind this malice, she had a simple response.

“They were bad,” Wilson said. “They flick boogers at me and sometimes they don’t do their work.”

Students report seeing Wilson transform students after school in her classroom. Students Ava Verhoff and Cherie Brian have come forward to divulge their personal experiences and encounters with Wilson.

“I stayed after school to get help from another teacher and

I saw her shoving some kid in a box,” Brian said.

Brian has developed a fear of Wilson as a direct result of this experience.

“When I walk into her room I break into a cold sweat,” Brian said.

Junior, Ava Verhoff, has also witnessed these transformations.

“I was trying to turn in a permission slip and saw her using magic and her nose to change a kid into a baby,” Verhoff said.

Wilson has selected other students to help her in these tasks. Their contributions are not fully clear but it is believed that the students are used to help conceal the acts. Verhoff decided to join Wilson.

“I’m not scared of her because I help her,” Verhoff said.

According to Verhoff, Wilson allows students to use the bathroom pass/extra credit punch cards to choose students to turn into simulation babies. Wilson targets students who behave and or perform “poorly” in her class. Many Ritenour students with bad behavior reputations have gone missing recently and Wilson and her goons are the main suspects.

Brian is scared of becoming a victim due to her performance in the class.

“Recently my grade has dropped to a C, so I’m pretty sure I’m next,” Brian said.

Wilson allows students to bring her bribes in the form of apples to avoid punishment.

“I think we’re too soft on kids who don’t bring apples to their teachers,” Wilson said.

Wilson feels no remorse for her actions and sees it as fair discipline.

“They should be bringing me apples and doing their work,” Wilson said.

On top of performing magic through her nose and her wand, Wilson has revealed that she is immortal and has been a child development teacher for 80 or 90 years. She learned the skill of turning people into babies through her own experience in high school child development courses back in the 1900’s.

“It was a part of the curriculum back then, I guess they just don’t do it anymore,” Wilson said.

She has decided to bring back the art of transfiguration and get even more Ritenour students involved as well.

In the case of being caught by authorities, Wilson plans to turn herself into a simulation baby or disguise herself as a student to avoid any possible consequences.