The rainbow ends in 333

Mueller's Magically suspicious

Written by: Ashlin Thomas

Dan Mueller, who is not located under a rainbow, but in room 333, is one of the many biology teachers and only botany teacher at Ritenour.

Some of Mueller’s students have given some promising evidence of his existence as a leprechaun. Junior Max Beaird pointed to one obvious clue in Mueller’s classroom

“The Lucky Charms box in his room is proof,” Beaird said.

Junior Chris Johnson noted that Mueller had a very odd habit, and that it is probably explained by his leprechaun heritage.

“He is one of those leprechauns who like, straight up comes up to you, pinches you, and then runs away,” Johnson said.

Senior Acacia Helton started to get suspicious about Mueller when she noticed that he always sat on his stool in the classroom, a common trait of leprechauns who sit on stools underneath bridges. She has also seen some crazy things that Mueller has done.

“Mr. Mueller has the powers to make rays of light shoot out of his palm to make his plants grow,” Helton said. “He always has plants growing in his room, and they always stay alive.”

While all of the accusations were flying about Mueller, his secret identity was seemingly unveiled on Monday, March 13th at 2:04 p.m. Mueller was spotted in the teachers lounge in action, going into the cabinet for his box of Lucky Charms with a green hat and his big bright orange beard.

“That was proof that he is a leprechaun, with the big bright orange beard that he has,” Johnson said.

Mueller is refusing to give straight answers, but slowly started to confess with more questioning. He ultimately admitted to being a leprechaun, but he was hesitant to give any extra information.

“I don’t know if my leader is gonna allow me to say that,” Mueller said.

Mueller is still unwilling to reveal his real name or his real age. He did mention that there are different types of leprechauns, but within the community they don’t really care.

“I mean we are all the same species,” Mueller said.

Mueller admitted that he keeps the Lucky Charms as part of his leprechaun duties, but was offended when asked if they were magically delicious

“That would be cannibalism,” Mueller said.