LADIES’ CIRCLE

The Quintessential Guide to Being a Gentleman

By Mr PAUL HOEKSEMA,Round Table Southern Africa

From North to South, East to West, we pride ourselves on being the greatest young men’s organisation. It goes without saying, being a young man should be synonymous with being a gentleman.

What does it mean to be a gentleman? Does it mean wearing a top hat, white gloves & a tailored suit, or does it simply mean being polite and courteous? Being a Tabler, it’s safe to say that we all strive to be the perfect full-time and all-round gentlemen - but can we improve? Yes, we certainly can, always.

Without further ado, here are a couple of ”Ten Top Table Tips” to ensure that chivalry & gentleman-like behaviour flourishes in our Table, personal & business lives.

1

KEEP AN OPEN MIND

We’ve all been in a situation where we want to be heard regardless of what someone else wants to say - there will be times when you unknowingly reject any other input. A gentleman will always have an open mind by listening to understand and not respond. often multiple input makes for a unified outcome and sound practices. Being someone that listens will make you more likeable and, in turn, more approachable.

2

PROTECT THE INTEGRITY OF YOURSELF & THOSE AROUND YOU.

Another fundamental characteristic of a true gentleman is to always ”bank” conversations with the utmost discretion. Gossiping and ultimately spreading rumours always dies with an unwilling ear. The fastest way to make your circle of friends smaller is to be labelled as a ”gossipmonger.”

3

DEVELOP YOUR OWN STYLE

of course, a well-tailored suit and tie never go out of fashion. But, looking like a gentleman does not mean walking around, sporting to feature on Legacy’s cover 24/7. Developing your style and carrying this with confidence is key. Remember to practice good hygiene and to be comfortable in your skin.

4

A GENTLEMAN KEEPS HIS WORD.

It’s been said a thousand times - respecting other people’s time and doing what you said you would, builds a positive reputation. When you offer to help someone with something, no matter how small, help them. When you promise to finish by a certain date, meet your deadline. Remember, you are never what you say you are unless you do it.

5

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CONFIDENCE & ARROGANCE

A confident man will always command admiration and respect; an arrogant one, not so much. Being a gentleman means knowing when to step up with confident humility, when to tone down, and when to apologise. If you are always out to be the centre of attention at the cost of overshading others, it’s time to re-think your inter-person approach. In addition, being polite, asking questions, and taking an interest in others will compliment your likeably confident persona.

6

ALWAYS PUT THE LADIES, CHILDREN & ELDERLY FIRST

Chivalry starts with being aware of women, children and the elderly in your surroundings. A gentleman will always put the above demographic first, whether at the airport, when heading to the cinema, at work or at home. From a friendly greeting, heartfelt compliments, helping with luggage, or opening a door, chivalry and kindness start with you.

7

STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN

Unless you’re looking to topple a government with ill-fated intentions, there will be a voice inside you that wants to speak out and stand up for everything good. A gentleman will stand up for his beliefs without inflicting harm on others. If you see or hear something that could adversely hurt someone unable to defend themselves, speak out and act. of course, we’re not saying to dress in a red suit and mask to clear the streets of criminals, we are saying to stand up for what you believe in within context.

8

A GENTLEMAN ADOPTS SOUND PRACTICES

At the core of every Tabler is a rich set of values and heritage passed on from generation to generation. A gentleman adopts these values and sound practices to serve him not only as a member but as a young professional and family man. Years of experience gifted to the active members can only yield good results.

10

A GENTLEMAN CONSTANTLY IMPROVES

From learning a new skill, taking on an executive Table role, and changing career paths, to learning how to dress better, a gentleman will always be looking at ways to improve himself, his environment, and even others. In a Table setting, our likeminded young gentlemen’s goals should include looking at ways to improve our beloved organisation term in and term out as well as themselves - the quest of persistent improvement yields constant success.

9

A GENTLEMAN ADAPTS TO CHANGING TIMES & SURROUNDINGS

Being stagnant in a fast-paced world might mean death to the goals you are yet to achieve. A gentleman adapts. Taking the previously mentioned sound practices and adjusting them constantly to adapt to the times and surroundings will always serve you well. Remember to think outside the box, be creative, listen, and affect what you have learned to resonate with your values. .

Now that you’ve adapted these ”tips”, adopt them adapt them & improve yourself and others.

Table on, Table gentlemen!