Wednesday, February 12th, 2020
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Congratulations to Joaquin "The African Dream" Phoenix for his win at the Oscars
Please don't follow these tips
Tips to impress your girl this Valentine's Day
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By Benjamin Bing-Bong 1) Tell her you're an editor for your school's satire newspaper 2) Inform her about all of the times you respected women over the internet 3) Ask her about things you don't care about that you think she cares about that she actually doesn't care about. 4) Try to get her to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion again. 5) Invite her over to your house just to make her watch you play Luigi's Mansion on the Switch
6) JUST BE YOURSELF, BRO.
We'll Love you Instead :) Pitch Meetings: Livi Student Center Boardroom 7:40-8:45 Production: Livi Student Center Rm 117D Craigslist for perverts I am looking for someone willing to sell me a single Airpod. I do not need two. I do not need the case. Just one single Airpod. I lost one. How does one lose a single Airpod, you ask? Normal ways: I flushed it down the toilet or dropped it or whatever. I definitely did NOT swallow it. I would never be dumb enough to lose an Airpod under a cheeseburger and accidentally swallow it. Who does that?! And I definitely didn’t spend the next 3 hours playing music as loud as I could to hear where the Airpod was lodged within my intestines. Email me at airpodman4@gmail.com if you can help. I'm not looking for anything I just wanted to say damn that guy who lost their airpod's a dumbass lmao. Also if you have any heroin plz email me at heroin4harry@gmail.com
Hi-ku
Please have sex with me Then we can Facetime my mom She'll make us cookies.
the Medium
Suck my balls Bono up the 'ra
The Top 10 Songs of All Time Ever Made Based on My Opinion By Bonor Bohnston 10) "Starman" by David Bowie: This song was the original inspiration for the Star Wars movies. 9) "The Seinfeld Song" by Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld really outdid himself with this one when he came up with this classic jingle. 8) "Mambo No. 5": This song is literally just a guy listing off all the women he's slept with. Utter legend. 7) "The Ten Crack Commandments" by Biggie Smalls: Whenever I forget how to sell crack, I just put this song on and everything comes rushing back to me. 6) "Welcome to The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance: WHEN I WAS.....A YOUNG BOY..... 5) "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Men: To this day, we still do not know who let them out. 4) "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder: I have no jokes for this one I just really like this song. 3) "Toxic" by Britney Spears: THEY WROTE THIS SONG ABOUT MY FRIGGING MUDDA-IN-LAW AM I RIGHT FELLAS?! 2) "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel: I think about this song when I remember I have no gf. 1) "Parents Just Don't Understand" by Will Smith: They really don't.
