That copy of Breath of the Wild you just bought?

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SPORTS are games that people play RU EXTENDS MEN’S BASKETBALL COACH AFTER LOSING 5 OF 7 IN HOPES

OF RECREATING FAILURES OF FOOTBALL TEAM

hopes in jeopardy, Rutgers signed Men’s Basketball Head Coach Steve Pikiell to an two year extension, now having him signed through the 2025-26 season.

PIKIELL SCREAMING OUTSIDE THE RAC

BY A VERY PESSIMISTIC RU FAN

Following a 16-6 start to the season, in which the Rutgers Men’s Basketball team became ranked for the first time since the 1979 season, the Knights proceeded to lose 5 of 7 games. Now with a 18-11 (9- 9) record, no longer being undefeated at the RAC, and with their tournament When asked about why he signed Pikiell to the extension, Athletic Director Pat Hobbs said he was impressed with the direction the team was going over the last few games. He explained “While the team unfortunately got off to a hot start this season, this last stretch of games really shows what Scarlet Knight Athletics are all about.” Hobbs further said that while he was upset the basketball team would not have as poor a record as the football team had these past two seasons (2-10, 1-11), he was hoping they would lose their final two games to Maryland and Purdue. Rutgers students were happy with the decision. Junior Caleb Daniels said “It just wouldn’t feel like a true Rutgers season if it ended with some type of success. I’m glad Hobbs is moving in the direction to make sure we stay losing.”

Players expressed similar sentiments. Center Myles Johnson said “I’m really glad Pikiell was extended. These last few games really show what our team is all about. It really wouldn’t make sense for us to make the tournament. We have not been there since 1991, and why would we want to break tradition now?”

At press time, most other members of the Men’s Basketball team could not be reached for comment, as they were at frat parties trying to pick up girls.

13 Things to Know about Tom Brady’s Future BY CHEATING 101

Lakers vs Pelicans: By the Numbers

1. He still kisses his kids

2. His wife, Giselle, is still hotter than yours

50+

3. He still has 6* rings (Spygate, Deflategate?)

4. He might move back in with Julian Edelman

5. Regardless of where he goes, the Patriots will win their 7th Super Bowl this year

7. The Raiders will still have a losing season even if he signs there

8. The Chargers will still have a losing season even if he signs there

9. The Buccaneers will still have a losing season even if he signs there

10. 90% of NFL fans are hoping Brady retires

11.Brady finds all the coverage over his free agency comical, and contributed to this article to spread more jokes about himself (not really)

12. TB12 method scandal might pop up again

13. Robert Kraft could not be reached for comment for this article, due to his presence with some “friends” (escorts) at the current time Instagram posts daily by Bleacher Report breaking down the Lebron vs Zion matchup

20

Times Zion made Kuzma look like a baby in the paint

100%

Of ESPNs employees getting ready to bill Zion as the next GOAT

1

Lavar Ball on the sideline trying to resurrect Big Baller Brand

30,000

Fans watching the game who thought Zion was Booger MacFarland at first

1

LeBron still trying to maintain being the GOAT