LIVING
SPIRITUAL LIFE DEVELOPMENT
What do you really want? by MAJOR LAUREN HODGSON
As you read the question above, you may be a parent who juggles a myriad of responsibilities for your children and household. You may possibly be up to your eyeballs in deadlines at work. Maybe you are committed to meeting the needs of an elderly loved one. Or you might be juggling all of these and more. Whatever is your scenario, to think about what you want, your deepest desire, the longing of your heart, seems to be a luxury that is off your radar right now. Naming the desire of your heart may seem selfish or even dangerous. What if you scratch the surface of what you desire these days? What will happen? Will it open a Pandora’s Box that cannot be shut? We aspire to be people who selflessly help others, who get the job done, and who solve problems. Still, there is this little voice that, in quiet moments, whispers, “What about me?” When that happens, we quickly answer the voice with things to do, places to go, and people to see. It is a space too tender to touch; and if we do, we fear that the desire could never be satisfied. So, we become masters at stuffing down our deepest longing.
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It’s possibly been such a long time since you articulated what you’re really longing for that you don’t even know where to begin. Here are a few questions to consider to help you get started:
• When am I my “best self”? • When do I feel “I was made for this”? • When am I my "true, most authentic self"? As you ponder these questions, your longing may begin to stir. What does that look like? What does it feel like? Present that longing to the Lord and ask Him what He wants to do with it. The Lord relishes being an intricate part of your discovery process. Allow Him to unfold the next step of
this revelation for your life in His own time. There is something to be said about our faith muscle being strengthened when we only know the next step and nothing else. One thing you can be certain of is that the ability to wait is one of the most vital parts of naming your longing. It is important to note that we can boldly come before the Lord with our questions, concerns, and doubts about our desire. Jesus’ earthly ministry shows that He is interested in our longings and wants to hear them voiced. A perfect example is His encounter with blind Bartimaeus while on the road to Jericho (Mark 10:46–52). It seems so obvious that his deepest desire was to see, but still, Jesus asks, “What do you want me to do for you? Stating the longing is an essential part of this journey. You may be saying, “If you really knew what I desire these days, it wouldn’t sound very spiritual.” When naming your deepest desire in Jesus’ presence, you're in a “no–judgment zone.” James and John came
Volume 7 Number 2, 2021
