issue 05
christmas ‘08
Inner space for women’s mental health & wellbeing (across Surrey and the south east)
Battle Cry
women at the front line
Deep in debt
there is a way forward
Christmas tips for survival
Editorial comment This issue
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style rut? Are you stuck in a
Ever fancied a new look? Then come and get a Sanctuary make-over! We’re looking for deserving women to nominate themselves or a friend (with the friend’s permission of course!) to come and get the Sanctuary style treatment. If you would like to try a different hairstyle, a new make-up look and get some ideas on the fashion and accessories that suit your style, get in touch. We’ll be selecting three women in the new year and ‘showcasing’ the before and after looks in the next issue of Sanctuary in March ’09. If you are interested, write in on a postcard with your answer to the following: I would like a Sanctuary make-over because... Send your postcard entry to Sanctuary, c/o Let’s Link, PO Box 533, Betchworth RH4 9FL, or you can email Megan at megan.aspel@sky.com
, and the next in March ’09, is being circulated across the south east courtesy of CSIP (Care Services Improvement Partnership), the south east development centre for mental health. Surrey Primary Care Trust continues to support us and with the extra help from CSIP, we are able to reach more and more women patients/service users, carers, staff and interested people around Kent, Sussex, Hampshire, Isle of Wight, Surrey, Berkshire, Oxfordshire/ Buckinghamshire and Milton Keynes! Sadly, CSIP in the south east (it is a national body) will cease to exist by the time you read this. It is a victim of change within the NHS and whilst I could have a little rant about the cessation of the good work it has done in mental health (e.g. a regional women’s and gender mental health forum; a programme of education and training for staff around the impact of childhood abuse on mental health, and much, much more) it is best I think to just say a huge thank you for the support and belief they’ve shown in Sanctuary. There are two people in particular I’d like to thank - Charlotte and Malcolm. Well, it is the ‘Festive Season’ once more. I was rather hoping that the credit crunch would put the ‘sense’ and common sense back into Christmas and the new year. Year on year the fervour for many has just escalated. A battle royal ensues to ‘make everything perfect’. And what happens? Bung more on the credit card and reap the consequences for months afterwards. So this year I thought, everyone will have the perfect excuse not to be excessive. Ah, no. Because there is a conspiracy to keep us spending. The government has dangled incentives in its pre-Budget such as a drop in VAT but the shops were already there with massive 20/30 odd % savings! Hold hard me heartys – and stick to your principles. As the recession bites, principles may be the only thing we have left! Now forget about the doom and gloom of the economy and Mr Brown’s pledge to borrow our way out of debt (there’s an oxymoron in there somewhere isn’t there?!). We have highlighted a few positives for you in this issue: how a charity, with headquarters in the south east is supporting men and women from the Armed Forces who, returning from battle, are now suffering with post traumatic stress disorder and how help is at hand to be debt free, with a church led debt counselling scheme. Plus we have tips for surviving the ‘Festive Season’, ideas to cut the food budget by becoming a vegetarian, and a look at crystal therapy. And how about a new you for 2009? If there is anyone out there up for it, see opposite. Become one of Sanctuary’s ‘models’ and discover a whole new look and makeover for 2009!
Megan
If you would like to comment or contribute ideas, letters, we would love to hear from you. Write to Sanctuary, Let’s Link, PO Box 533, Betchworth RH4 9FL or email Megan; megan.aspel@sky.com or phone 07824 364 703
(please note that we want to publish the ‘look’ and require your permission to be photographed)
Sanctuary is free to everyone. Managing Editor: Megan Aspel Assistant Editor: Louisa Daniels Editorial Group: Elaine, Ashley, Diane Design by Aspects: tom@aspectsgd.com www.aspectsgd.com Printed by Reliant Colour Solutions: www.reliantcolour.com No part of this magazine may be reproduced without prior permission of the publishers. ©ASPECTS 2008.
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Driven by patriotic passion and a desire to uphold freedom and democracy, young men and women join the Armed Forces for Queen and country. Tragically for many, the enemy they meet is not the one they were trained to confront. From the 1st and 2nd World Wars to more recent conflicts – Northern Island, the Falklands, Gulf, Afghanistan and Iraq – some of our brave boys and girls are fighting a different kind of battle. Once called ‘shell shock’, now known as ‘Post Traumatic Stress Disorder’ (PTSD), psychological wounding is as real an outcome of battle as physical wounding. Sanctuary visited Combat Stress, a nationwide charity with headquarters in Surrey that brings comfort, treatment and support to hundreds of the mentally war wounded.
A group
of women got together one day, distraught that so many men, including their husbands had returned from war in such bad shape. It wasn’t the physical toll battle had reaped upon them. It was the tragic state of their minds. The women
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vowed to do something about it; to find a way of helping these men through the mental devastation they found themselves in and in so doing help prevent their admission to psychiatric hospitals. That meeting was on the 1st November 1918. The legacy of that meeting is Combat Stress.
Registered in 1919 as the Ex-Service Men’s Welfare Society, the aptly named Combat Stress of today, nearly into its 90th year, gives veterans each year the hope of recovery from the devastating mental traumas of war. Last year the charity received almost 1200 new referrals. From the 1st World War men – and boys who lied about their age – went off to war without a moment’s thought about their mental welfare. Now, young men and women are all too aware that the potential mental, as well as physical fallout from battle has to be accepted as an occupational hazard. Yet even with the knowledge that a mental health breakdown may occur the stigma – perceived or real - sadly still prevents veterans seeking help early on. Paula Smyth, Head of Clinical Service told Sanctuary, “On average it is almost 14 years after being discharged from the Armed Forces that people seek help from Combat Stress. The average age of the new clients we see here at the treatment centre is 43”. Paula went on: “During that time there has been a protracted breakdown: trying to adjust to civilian life is hard, there is anger, flashbacks, guilt (that an individual survived where fellow soldiers did not for instance), loss of trust and to find a way of coping often involves alcohol and substance abuse. Partners try and help but do not always understand and in some cases they eventually give up and the inevitable family split follows. Some veterans sadly become homeless as a result.” But when veterans eventually cross the Combat Stress threshold they discover that lives can be rebuilt, the horrors of war lessened, and self worth found again. Women veterans are becoming an increasingly familiar sight at the 30 bedded residential therapeutic centre in Surrey, and at Combat Stress’s other units in the country. The prediction, with the types of wars being fought today is that the Armed
Forces face an unprecedented rise in mental illness. Nearly 4,000 new cases of psychiatric problems, in around 195,100 serving personnel, ranging from clinical depression and anxiety to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) were diagnosed in 2007 according to Ministry of Defence figures. Those serving in Afghanistan (described as the bloodiest campaign since Korea) are 14 times more likely than others to develop PTSD. And the Ministry of Defence warns that the figures may belie the true situation. As Combat Stress can verify, the social stigma surrounding mental ill health – arguably greater when associated with the ‘no-nonsense’, rough, tough image of the Armed Forces – is a huge hurdle for people to overcome. Statistically women have a significantly higher rate of mental illness occurring as a result of serving in the Armed Forces. One senior lecturer in military psychiatry suggested, however, that the rates probably reflect general society. With the same reluctance as ex-Servicemen to seek help for years possibly, the number of women coming to Combat Stress is still small, at around 3%. But it’s getting bigger. Women have played an integral and invaluable part in defending their countries for a very long time. Who can forget Queen Boudica in this country, taking on the Romans around AD62? 800,000 women served in the Soviet military during World War II. There were always nurses attached to every conflict, some, with female drivers and cooks, serving on the frontline in World War I and other conflicts. Think about the women agents and radio operators in occupied Europe in the 2nd World War; what an immense contribution they made to Intelligence. And so to the women today (amongst whom are Air Force pilots, Army captains, gunners and bomb disposal experts): all have stood shoulder to shoulder with
their male compatriots in their fight for freedom. There are nearly 18,000 women in the regular British forces, with numbers rising. The majority come through their deployment mentally unscathed (the longer service men and women are deployed to a theatre – or region – of conflict – e.g. more than 13 months over three years – the more evidence there is of mental ill health). For others the story is not as happy. Along with their male counterparts, servicewomen experience the fall-out of witnessing and being a part of violent combat. Although they remain barred from roles where they might have to ‘close with and kill the enemy’, Service women are part of every day operations, carrying the same SA80 rifles as the men, ready and trained to return fire if necessary. Back in ‘peaceful’ society, many become haunted by recurring flashbacks. The memories can induce uncontrollable panic and fear. The sound of thunder, a firework or other sharp, loud noise can see a traumatised man or woman hit the floor – anywhere, often in very public places – as they would the ground in combat zones. Or they become isolated from their families and friends; one female Flight Lieutenant, a pilot of Merlin helicopters and often under attack simply said “I don’t think people back home appreciate what we (Service women) do. You say you are an RAF pilot and they look shocked!” There is a tendency too perhaps for the nearest and dearest to want ex Service men and women to forget about their experiences. After all loved ones want the person they knew before he or she went off to battle, not the changed (arguably it changes everyone, whether mental ill health results or not) ‘stranger’ almost that comes home. Yet to try and ‘normalise’ everything is somehow denying what they have gone through. Sadly though, even if partners and friends are totally
supportive, some veterans simply can’t adjust. Part of the success of Combat Stress is that veterans meet other veterans, and there is a toned down military air about the place. This gives people stability and a sense of ‘place’. They can swap stories and feel a part of something that may be eluding them in society. Alongside the welcoming, safe atmosphere are the programmes of treatment and support each individual receives. The initial assessment is a week long process following which a whole person care plan is developed for each veteran. Paula describes how it works, "They are offered a range of talking and creative therapies and educational groups. Sometimes we recommend referral to other specialist mental health services with whom we aim to work in partnership." Latent talents such as painting and writing have emerged in many, so much so that art exhibitions are held and the walls in the corridors of HQ and the treatment centre are filled with clever, many poignant, watercolours, oils and drawings. The veterans at Combat Stress have created a calendar for 2009 featuring their artwork and an exhibition of art and art therapy entitled “Art & Conflict” is due to take place from the 2nd December 2008 to the 16th January 2009 at the Our Space Gallery, Old Street in London (T. 01372 841600 for more information) Over the years the charity has provided almost 100,000 veterans, the youngest in their early twenties, the oldest in their nineties, with a unique and vital lifeline. Combat Stress is now gearing up to meet an ever increasing demand as male and female troops, each with unique individual needs, not least around their gender, return from war torn regions across the globe. Gutsy, loyal and brave, these young men and women have done so much. Now scarred with the horrors of conflict, we must ensure we all hear their battle cry for help.
Find out more about Combat Stress at www.combatstress.org.uk
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“Just soldier on” Avoid Calamity – Amanda’s story this Christmas and new year *
Amanda
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first visited Combat Stress in 2006. Like many ‘squaddies’ she returned home from active service and began to feel isolated, out of kilter with everyone else. But when she didn’t make the adjustments others had, despite being only 20, she knew something was wrong. It was to be 17 long years though before Amanda came to Combat Stress and received the treatment, care and support she needed. “When you return home, you are changed. People would say ‘oh you’re different’, ‘you’re grown up’. But deep down there is much more going on than just having grown up. When you’ve seen what we squaddies saw, it is a different kind of maturity. And you hide behind what you have become (because of the war experiences). “But there comes a point where hiding doesn’t work.” Amanda described how the bravado and camaraderie within a squad carried people along, covering the fear. Coming out of deployment a soldier is faced with a society that hasn’t a clue about his or her experiences. Amanda believes that is even more so for a woman. She discovered people’s attitudes, particularly those from whom she sought medical help, were dismissive. “Everyone had the quaint World War II idea of women in the Forces; ‘oh you were a clerk or a driver were you?’ they say, thinking you were nowhere near the action! That’s the kind of culture I was fighting against.” There is a better understanding now, she believes, since the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Recognising that things weren’t right, Amanda sought help from
her GP. It was here that she first became aware of the difference between a man seeking help and a woman. “It was impossible to be taken seriously,” she says “I went undiagnosed (with PTSD) for 17 years because I was always dismissed as having ‘women’s problems’. Men are not expected to be depressed so the GP will take note when a man goes to see him. But a woman will have her depression explained away with things like ‘you’re run down, you’ve just had a baby’ and so on. It is far more difficult for women to say there is something really wrong. When I look back it is ridiculous how I put up with being fobbed off with a pill. Basically you’re told to just soldier on!” Sadly, Amanda began to believe what she was told – there was nothing seriously wrong with her – and she spent many years building the defence mechanisms that carried her on. But turning points come as they usually do and Amanda eventually came under the care of Combat Stress. “It was a very strange experience to begin with,” she recalls “I wasn’t accepting that I had a problem and certainly not the problem they said I had (PTSD).” But while Amanda was denying the diagnosis, she was also aware of what was going on around her, “There were about 20 or so guys, happy to be there and I found myself feeling instantly at home. “You know there is a kinship when squaddies get together; and here, everyone was kind. There is a shared sense of humour, everyone understands and there is no pressure to conform. You get a lot out of knowing you are not alone.” Amanda has been visiting Combat Stress three times a year since 2006, for two weeks at a time. One-to-one sessions, group therapy and a care worker available pretty much 24/7 give her the ‘tools’ to cope day to day. What made her particularly angry about the way she was dismissed all those years? “Being judged was the most difficult – there is a huge stigma about mental health and women are expected to cope. If you scream that you can’t cope, you’re just weak and pathetic. And the way you are treated. With PTSD there is often anger. I have an IQ of 145 but if I am in the middle of one of my episodes, I’m spoken to like a child. That just exacerbates everything you are feeling.” What about any regrets; what would she have changed over the last 17 years? “I regret not listening to my family and friends,” Amanda said, “They told me something was wrong. The GP sees you as a ‘snapshot’ (and dismisses you with there’s nothing wrong) but the people you live and work with know you better. So, I wish I’d listened to them. “You can never get back what you’ve lost but what I’ve gained at Combat Stress is that I know I’m not alone. I thought it was just me, for so long, and when I can’t see an end to the stages I need to go through to cope better, get better, there are people there who have gone through those stages and found there is a light (maybe quite small) at the end of the tunnel.” Thank you to Amanda for telling her
*names have been changed
story to Sanctuary
The ‘Festive Season’
as we all know, can be a time of a joy, but it can also come laden with stress. From the present buying, food preparation and family issues that continue long after Christmas has gone, it can all be too much to bear. If money is even tighter as well, it could be an easy step to reach for ‘cures’ such as comfort eating, alcohol, tobacco and medication. The trouble with these types of ‘stress relief’ is that, more often than not, our problems are only exacerbated. So, before you rush out to the off-licence or head for the ‘fridge (more turkey sandwiches!), try these alternative techniques to equip yourself with staying power and inner calm. Prioritise your time – write a list of things to do each day and try to stick to it, by the end of the week you will have covered a lot of ground and you will have accomplished something. Positivity is a good feeling. Find a place to relax – easier said than done, but if you can, find a space to take five. Go to the bathroom if need be. Lie down, close your eyes and breathe slowly. Feel you body when you exhale and inhale naturally and allow yourself to relax. Distract yourself – when you feel the pressure building up try to think of something else, something that makes you smile. You might give a pet a cuddle, pick up a good book or listen to your favourite piece of music. Try to challenge your thinking – If you feel irrationality setting in, write down your thoughts and try to challenge them. Work out the evidence for and against the thought and imagine what you would say to a friend who was in the same situation. Would you be as hard on them as you are being on yourself? Get some air and get active – go for a walk and take in the scenery. Try to focus on your surroundings and, if you can, look at the wonders of nature, it could help you to feel refreshed and alive. Treat your body with respect – you only have one, so try to look after it. Try to nurture yourself by eating balanced meals, getting enough sleep and avoiding substance misuse. Good health can help recovery and it will effect how much stress you feel. Get creative – pre or post Christmas, enjoy painting, composing music, writing, needlework, tapestry, doing a jigsaw, pinching the kids’ Playdoh – whatever takes your fancy Communicate – talking about things with trusted friends and family can help to lift any burden. If that is impossible for you, try one of the helpline numbers listed in the Sanctuary Directory. There are people who want to listen…even during the ‘Festive Season’.
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Food glorious food ! Oh no,
overindulged again in the ‘Festive’ Season? Or did the credit crunch take the bite out of Christmas altogether? Become a vegetarian for a while (or forever if it suits you) and help your pocket, your waistline and the environment. Step into 2009 with great virtue! There are as many reasons for becoming vegetarian as there are vegetarians; it's a highly personal and individual decision to make. But in a survey conducted on behalf of The Vegetarian Society the majority of people said that they gave up meat and fish because they did not morally approve of killing animals, or because they objected to the ways in which animals are kept, treated and killed for food With the growing awareness of the importance of healthy food, many people are also becoming vegetarian because it matches the kind of low fat, high fibre diet recommended by dieticians and doctors. Concern about the environment is another factor as people become more aware of the effect
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raising animals for their meat is having on the environment. Or you may be concerned about wasting world food resources by using land to raise animals for meat instead of growing crops that can feed more people directly. Start with planning meals you already know. First, make a list of the meals you already make on a regular basis. Your list might include some meat-free items like pasta or vegetable stir-fry. Then, you can pick out dishes that could easily become meat-free. If you're a fan of chilli, try making it without ground beef and adding an extra can of black beans. You can also make fajitas by using firm tofu, rather than chicken or beef. Luckily, most meat-free meals require only simple substitutions. Once you have made your new list of vegetarian meals, you can start adding new ideas. To get started, buy or borrow a vegetarian cookbook or surf the web for vegetarian meal ideas. Remember, the more variety to your diet, the more nutritious it will be!
Check out what is in season as well. This time of year root vegetables make a wonderful veggie hotpot. Or try these recipes for novice vegetarians:
serves – n a fl corn t e e w s e and
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Chees
in ether, rub g o t lt a s ough. ur and Method ifting flo o form a d s t y r e b t y a r w t s h a 1. Make p d lemon and enoug hour or so. ts an ad out Ingredien e in r arga , in a cool place for nd line with rolled m r u y lo r Past rest heat f dish a Leave to % wholew deep flan 5 a 8 e g s a 0 e r 0 g 2 2. Lightly rgarine the flour. 100g ma h it . w y r s t s s o a t p e and pinch salt on juice the chees n. e t a r m G le s the dish. the fla few drop ce half in corn and arrange in la P et se and Filling r the chee in the swe emaining cheese. eese e a h v r c o D d e r r a u t h 250g h the r the mix Cover wit am and eggs, pour r u lo f s 1tb cre 0 mins. Beat the sweetcorn eg. k 5 for 4 m r t a u n M h s a it 1 small tin eggs sprinkle w 75°F / 190°C / G ge 2 free ran cream or milk t3 3. Bake a gle 150ml sin
Spinach &
Cream C hee
se Pancak es – serve
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Ingredients Batter Method 120g 85% w holewheat flo 1. Make the ur Pinch salt panca C ook the spin kes and keep them warm 1 free range eg . ach and drain g in a sieve pre with a wood 300 ml milk en spoon to ssing remove exces Set aside. s water. Oil for frying 2. Cook cho Filling pped onion a nd garlic in t margarine bu he 900g spinach t d o n o t a llo wa w to brown. Stir in the sp 45g margarin shed and chopped (or froz inach, nut en) Add t e he cream chee meg and pepper; mix wel 1 large onion l. se and cook 3 mins with on a low hea 1 clove garlic cr st ir t ri f n o g r . ushed 3. Spread ov ½ tsp grated er ea c h of the 8 p nutmeg and place on ancakes, roll ½ tsp pepper the serving d up is h S . p rinkle the gra 60g cream ch t ed cheese and p eese grill for 3 to lace under th 60g grated h 4 mins until e ard cheese the cheese m and browns. elts
Information and recipes from www.vegsoc.org
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Deep
How do you cope at this or any time of year with debt? Take a leap of faith and get the support you need to be debt free.
in debt?
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At this time
of year, and with the overall economy apparently in free fall, more and more people are feeling financially vulnerable. For some however it is far more than a tightening of the belt and riding the storm. Many are in the thick of it, overwhelmed by the worry, fear and oppression of being deep in debt. Figures from a survey carried out by the Church based debt counselling charity, CAP (Christians Against Poverty) show that 67% of people in debt, in this country, missed meals with 22% doing so regularly; 69% visited their GP because of debt related illness with 34% considering suicide and 6% attempting suicide. With unemployment rising and other factors contributing to more and more debt being created, mental ill health is an increasingly worrying ‘sideeffect’. It can also of course work the other way; having mental ill health can impact on how someone is able to deal with the day to day necessities of life. Chris Gladstone, an accountant by profession, is centre manager for CAP at St. Mary’s Parish Church, covering the Reigate, Redhill, Merstham area of Surrey, describes how this award winning and free national debt counselling service works. “We make a difference by the second visit”, he told Sanctuary. The initial visit from the debt counsellor will be to get to know the client and the extent of the problem, including how someone has or is dealing with it – or not. When the counsellor returns for the second visit he or she will have a financial plan and together, client and counsellor can start to get to grips with the debt problems. Budgeting skills are taught so people carry on the good work and sustain a
debt free life. How it works stage by stage is described opposite. Founder John Kirkby started CAP in response to the tremendous poverty he saw in his home city of Bradford. As a Christian, he believed God was calling him to use his skills gained through 17 years experience in the consumer finance industry to reach out to people suffering under the burden of debt. Sacrificing a lucrative career John began the incredible journey he was destined to take, building up CAP to the award winning service it is today. Over the last 10 years the charity has grown from John working from home with a £10 donation, to a national charity with currently 82 centres – and growing - across the country. Each centre is attached to a parish church, with trained volunteers from the congregation forming the debt counselling teams. Many have financial backgrounds but some are people who know all too well the misery of debt. CAP understandably wants to spread its evangelical message as well as its ‘how to manage your finances’ message. But it does not discriminate and will not preach – to the converted or unconverted. Everyone coming into contact with CAP however, who is determined to climb out of the debt mire, will undoubtedly feel something very special happening. I asked Chris what is was like, for him to help, and for people to benefit from CAP’s support. He said simply, “It’s magic!” But be sure, the relief, empowerment and re-gaining control of your life is anything but an illusion! Find out where your nearest CAP centre is by visiting www.capuk.org or freephone 0800 328 0006. Read about John Kirkby’s incredible journey setting up CAP in his book
STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO HOW CAP CAN HELP 1. HOME VISIT If you live in a postcode covered by a CAP centre (use the postcode search at the top of the page to find this out), phone the freephone number. After you call CAP, a Debt Advisor and Support Worker from the local CAP Centre will visit you in your own home. 2. AN EFFECTIVE BUDGET A realistic budget is then worked out at CAP HQ by prioritising your essential bills, negotiating affordable payments with each creditor and stopping unfair interest and charges where possible. The local Debt Advisor will then visit you again to explain the budget and the payments you will need to make. 3. CAP ACCOUNT A CAP Account is then set up for you. This acts like a simple bank account. You will need to make one weekly or monthly payment into your account to cover all of your bills and debts. CAP will then distribute this on your behalf. You can also make savings in your CAP Account. 4. INSOLVENCY / BANKRUPTCY If you are in severe debt then we can walk you through insolvency, like petitioning for bankruptcy. We can help you to fill out the forms and even attend court with you. 5. DEBT FREE AND BEYOND You will use your CAP Account to pay your bills and debt repayments and you will be supported by a team at CAP HQ until you are debt free. You may keep your CAP Account even after you are debt free.
‘Nevertheless’; order it free from the website.
What people have said about CAP “Since I’ve started working with CAP my life has been sorted out. They've helped me to budget and sort my debts out, making sure that I’ve got enough money to live on each week. CAP helped me to get control back into my life. Although it has been hard, it has helped me to regain my self respect." Suzanne
Following the break up of my marriage after fifteen years, I was over £30,000 in debt, disabled and sick. I was depressed and frightened, feeling guilty at being unable to control my own finances. My CAP case worker immediately calmed me and was very caring, patient and utterly open-minded. He didn’t judge me, and he told me to stop feeling guilty. CAP lifted the pressure enough for me to breathe, and helped me realise that I could afford to live. Many, many thanks from my whole family for lifting the burden without any guilt." Margaret
"Before I went to CAP, I wouldn’t answer the phone or door, and was getting loads of letters every day. I felt suicidal – everything had got on top of me. Now I no longer receive phone calls and have only the occasional letter. As the pressure is lifted I am coping better." Claire
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Directory Mental health NHS trusts across the south east........................................................
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• Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust. T. BN13 3EP. T: 01903 843000 • Kent & Medway NHS Social Care Partnership Trust. T. 01732 520400 • Isle Of Wight Healthcare NHS Trust. T. 01983 524081 • Hampshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust. T. 023 8087 4300 • Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust. T. 01344 415 600 • Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust. T. 01865 778911 • Milton Keynes PCT. T. 01908 243933
Alcohol and drugs........................................
• Drinkline, 0800 917 8282 • Al-Anon, support for family and friends of alcoholics, find a local group 020 7403 0888. • Alcoholics Anonymous, find a local group – 0845 769 7555 • Drugscope, for information, www.drugscope.org.uk • Frank (for young people and parents) www.talktofrank.com • Surrey Drug & Alcohol Action Team – for local services, www. surreydat.org.uk
Anger................................................................. • British Association of Anger Management, 0845 1300 286 www.angermanage.co.uk
Anxiety............................................................. • No Panic, 0808 808 0545. www.nopanic.org.uk; • National Phobics Society, 0870 7700 456 www.phobics-society.org.uk; • First Steps to Freedom, 0845 120 2916 www.first-steps.org; www.anxietycare.org.uk (enquiries@anxietycare.org.uk to find out about accessing free advice and support)
Bereavement and loss................................... • Cruse 08701671677 www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Counselling..................................................... (but please note, waiting times can be long) • British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy, 0870 443 5252 www.bacp.co.uk (for details of local practitioners) • Heads Together (young people 14-25) 01737 378481. No fees
• Croydon Pastoral Foundation, 020 8760 0665. Negotiable rates according to means • North Surrey Community Counselling Partnership, 01932 244070 www.nsccp.co.uk A sliding scale fee basis operates (up to £40.00 per session) • Pathways Counselling Centre, Epsom, 01372 743338. Professional counselling, normal rates apply • Redhill Counselling Centre, 01737 772844. Negotiable rates • RELATE, relationship counselling, 0845 4561310 www.relate.org.uk, for a local branch. A fee is charged for appointments. • Relateen, Epsom (part of RELATE but for young people disturbed/worried about parent’s relationship problems) 01372 722976 • Seastone Possibilities, Trauma Resolution Treatment 01306 640073 / 01737 249364 email: seastone@talktalk.net
Debt counselling........................................... • Christians Against Poverty; freephone 0800 328 0006 www.capuk.org
Depression....................................................... • Depression Alliance, 0845 123 2320 www.depressionalliance.org
Direct Payments............................................. this is money allocated directly to a patient/service user to enable them to have more choice and independence about the support/facilities they can access in the community. For more information contact: • Surrey Independent Living Council (SILC), Astolat, Coniers Way, Burpham, Guildford GU4 7HL. T. 01483 458111
Domestic abuse............................................... • Surrey Domestic Abuse Helpline (24hr) – 01483 776822 • East Surrey Domestic Abuse Services (covering Reigate & Banstead, Mole Valley & Tandridge) - 01737 771350 Email: support@esdas.org.uk Website: www.esdas.org.uk 9am – 4pm, Monday to Friday, confidential answer phone out of hours. • North West Surrey Outreach Service (covering Woking, Runnymede & Surrey Heath) run by Surrey Women’s Aid 01483 776822 (24hr) • North Surrey Outreach Service (covering Epsom & Ewell,
Sanctuary magazine started in Surrey, commissioned by Surrey PCT. With extra help from Care Services Improvement Partnership in the south east, the magazine has a small circulation across Kent, Sussex, Hampshire, Isle of Wight, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire and Milton Keynes, as well as Surrey. We will continue to list organisations and help lines in Surrey in this directory but we’ve added each mental health trust in the south east and will include other important contact details as we can and space permitting.
We are building on this directory all the time. If you have anything to add that you think will benefit women’s mental health and wellbeing in Surrey, please let us know. You can contact Santuary magazine c/o Let's Link, PO Box 533, Betchworth, RH4 9FL. 01883 383919; M. 07824 364703; email; meganaspel@sky.com
Elmbridge & Spelthorne) run by Walton & Hersham Citizen’s Advice Bureau - 01932 260690 Email: nsdvoutreach.walton@cabnet.org.uk Website: www.waltonadvice.demon.co.uk 9.30 am – 4.30 pm Monday to Friday, confidential answer phone out of hours • South West Surrey Outreach Service (covering Guildford & Waverley) run by CAHA - 01483 577392 9.00 am - 3.00pm Monday – Friday, confidential answer phone out of hours
Survivors of childhood abuse................... • C.I.S.‘ters for adult women sexually abused as children Run by survivors for survivors – helpline Saturdays 10am – midday 023 80 338080
Eating disorders........................................... anorexia, bulimia • Eating Disorders Associations, 0845 634 1414 www.eduk.com
Hearing Voices................................................ • Rethink, 020 8974 6814 www.rethink.org
Post natal depression pregnancy and birth issues....................... • Association for Postnatal Illness, 0207 3860 868. www.apni.org; www.surrey.nhs.uk; www.babycentre.co.uk; www.netmums.com
Self harm......................................................... • www.selfharm.org.uk; www.lifesigns.org.uk; • www.rcpsych.ac.uk/cru/auditselfharm
Other useful contacts................................. Crisis numbers; • Samaritans, 08457 909090 www.samaritans.org.uk • Sane Line (12noon – 2am daily) 08457 678000. National out of hours helpline for anyone coping with mental illness – sufferers, carers, relatives or friends. • Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Trust, 01737 778142 (24hrs) • Childline; 0800 1111 Community Mental Health Teams (CMHTs) • Spelthorne CMHT 01784 440204 • West Elmbridge CMHT 01932 876601
• Runneymede CMHT 01932 723392 • Woking CMHT 01483 756318 • Hollies CMHT 01252 312788 (8.30-5.30 Mon -Fri) • Surrey Heath CMHT 01276 671102 • Guildford CMHT 01483 443551 • Waverley CMHT 01483 517200 • Godalming CMHT 01483 415155 • Haslemere CMHT 01483 783090 • Farnham CMHT 01483 782095 • Conifers CMHT - Cove, Fleet & Yateley Area • Briarwood, Sorrell Close, Broadhurst, Cove, Farnborough • Hampshire GU15 9XW (9.00-5.00 Mon-Fri) • Early Intervention in Psychosis, 01372 206262. For 14 – 35 year olds who have had a first episode of psychosis within recent years. • MIND, national organisation for mental health with local branches – www.mind.org.uk Infoline 0845 766 0163. Mind produce booklets on various mental health issues and campaign for better services • Mental Health Foundation, national organisation for information, campaigns, news, interaction, including information on the relation between diet and mental health; www.mentalhealth.org.uk Primary Care Mental Health Teams (PCMHTs) • for long term and complex mental health needs and for referral to specialist services such as Crisis Assessment & Treatment Team, Eating Disorders service, Continuing Needs services. Open Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm • East Elmbridge PCMHT – 020 8873 4300 • Epsom, Ewell & Banstead PCMHT – 01372 204000 • Mole Valley PCMHT – 01306 502400 • Redhill PCMHT – 01737 272301 • Tandridge PCMHT – 01883 385481 • Psychotherapy Service (Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Trust). • Referral only but you can access an information leaflet; contact the Psychotherapy Service at Shaw’s Corner, Blackborough Road, Reigate RH2 7DG. T. 01737 277706 • Samaritans; 08457 909090 • Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Trust, for mental health and learning disabilities services - 01883 383838 • Surrey Police; 0845 125 2222
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They look beautiful, they are lovely to touch, and from Ancient Egyptian times, they have been used to enhance wellbeing. Shirley O’Donohue* provides the complementary therapies that many enjoy at our women’s mental health and wellbeing days. She tells Sanctuary about crystal therapy…
“I have been
teaching Crystal Therapy for over 10 years now and in the last 2 or 3 years there have been a tremendous growth in interest and awareness of crystals and how they can be used. “So what is Crystal Therapy and how does it work? Well, crystals emit a small electrical pulse or charge called piezoelectricity, the body’s magnetic field or aura responds to this charge which, when the correct crystal is selected, allows the energy system of the body including the chakras and meridian systems to become fully balanced and energised. “Crystals are not necessarily expensive and small tumbled stones are very useful in crystal healing. Choose stones that are not too heavy to be placed on the body and not to small so that they are easily lost. Flatter stones will stay in place more easily and aim to get at least 2 stones of the same colour to begin with. You can use these crystals to hold when meditating, to place on specific energy centres which need rebalancing or simply to carry in your pocket to offer an energetic support throughout the day. “The way a Crystal Therapist would work would be to place crystals on or around the body to form a “grid” which the patient lies in. Usually the patient experiences a profound and deep meditative state and in many cases is aware of the energy as it works with the subtle energy system. Alternatively they can be used as follows:
• As an aid to meditation • As environmental placements – as well as being a decorative focus, Rose Quartz for example is excellent in helping to reduce the effects of electro magnetic pollution when placed on or near computers, microwaves etc. Placing a large piece of Amethyst or Rose Quartz in the bedroom or living room will help to keep the atmosphere light and positive. • Wearing crystals is a useful way of maintaining and protecting the body’s energy levels • As an aid to concentration place a Citrine or Fluorite on the desk or in the office. • Treating animals and children. This can be easily and simply done by charging up water simply by placing a crystal in some spring water and leaving it for a few minutes or overnight. If you can dowse you will be able to measure the increase in positive energy as the water absorbs the energy pattern of the crystal. The water can be drunk or used to water plants even. One word of caution always ensure that the crystals are not toxic or soluble in water. Any crystal belonging to the Quartz family e.g. Amethyst, Clear Quartz, Rose Quartz, Citrine etc will be fine. • As an enhancement to other therapies. Crystals can be placed around the massage couch for example to promote a greater sense of relaxation.
Crystal maΩic 14
*Shirley O’Donoghue is Principal of Lucis College and teaches Crystal and other Complementary Therapies to practitioner level. She is also the author of Working with Natural Energy published by Capall Bann
ISBN 186163154-5 and Working With Crystals also published by Capall Bann ISBN 186163191-X. She runs workshops and courses on crystals, flower essences, colour and stress management.
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Many
people still believe that domestic abuse only involves physical violence. That is simply not true. Domestic abuse can be psychological, sexual, financial, emotional OR physical. It is all about subjecting somebody to these forms of abuse in order to gain power and control over them. Abusers can be partners or family members and it happens across race, class, sexuality and gender. Whilst survivors often focus on their physical safety, their emotional well being may fall by the way side. However, according to a psychological study, domestic violence and other abuse is the most common cause of depression and other mental health difficulties in women.
She was hidden by the horrors Under a rubble of questions and pain I found her there, invisible Once the bulldozers had gone away A wisp of life somehow still living Under a quarry of lies Her tiny frame existing When no creature should have survived And she is beautiful A fragment of silver A waif with no name She is delicate and silent Through the fallout her essence remains
Breaking it down into numbers
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Women experiencing domestic violence are: • four times more likely to suffer depression • four times more likely to be suicidal and • four times more likely to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder than women who do not experience domestic abuse. Other psychological impacts of domestic abuse can include anxiety, self-harm, low self-esteem issues or drug and alcohol misuse. Many survivors think that once the abuse is over and they have moved away everything will return to normal again. They feel that the worst is over so things will improve and they want to forget all about it and move forward. In some cases they are right – not all women who have experienced domestic abuse need or want special help. In some ways they are right – studies reveal that when violence stops mental health improves. However, this isn’t true for everybody. Leaving an abuser may be the first step, but often is not the last, in recovering your mental wellbeing. Indeed, in some cases, women can experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks and nightmares many years after the abuse has stopped. Nonetheless, they may not feel that they can or should get any help. There are many reasons for this. It is likely that an abuser has used their deteriorating mental health to threaten and control them in the past, (e.g. telling them that nobody would believe
Backlash! Mental ill health can occur when someone has experienced domestic abuse. Laura from East Surrey Domestic Abuse Services explains what can happen. them because they are ‘crazy’ or that the children will be taken away from them). Having heard such threats over a prolonged period of time it’s not surprising that they are believed and survivors may be afraid to get the help they need. A survivor may feel that people won’t understand and sadly they may even feel that they deserve to feel this way; low self-esteem or a mistaken sense of guilt, or even not understanding themselves can make them feel the way they do. However, by repressing these feelings and trying to ignore them it is likely the feelings will come back at a later date and probably twice as powerful, tragically impacting on their mental health. If a survivor identifies that they need some help with their mental health it is important that they know what help could be available to them. They could talk to their GP and get advice from
them. They may decide to talk to a local domestic abuse service, which can offer emotional support and advice on counselling and support groups. It can also help to look on the internet or use the library to identify what you are feeling, why you may be feeling it and proactive ways to handle these emotions. To have these feelings is perfectly normal and you don’t have to cope with them on your own. It is important to fully deal with them only when you are ready to do so. In the meantime monitoring them and understanding where they come from will help you to look after yourself and feel better.
I listen to the whispers Her gentle innocent voice About the times she made herself disappear The times she had no choice She didn’t know how to die, she explains She only knew how to hide She couldn’t carry the burden they gave us Without retreating inside We took the blows the rest of us And braced ourselves to take the pain When the buildings came crashing down We protected her innocent frame.
Giftof The
Dissociation
She didn’t see a thing she says She felt not a single fear She just cuddled up inside herself Until the coast was clear And now the threat is over The horrors have ceased to be There’s no pain left to hide her from She survived and at last she is free I barely can believe it I still want to shield her frame But her rising laugh reminds me It is safe now; it is safe, for the beautiful waif with no name Written by a woman in her 40s
This poem can be found on the Life Centre website www.lifecentre.uk.com. Life Centre, based in Chichester, offer face Statistics: Sane Responses: good practice
to face and telephone counselling to adults and under 18 year olds who have suffered sexual violation recently or in the
guidelines for domestic violence and mental
past. For people who have suffered childhood sexual abuse there is a higher prevalence rate for adult sexual violation and
health services. Greater London Domestic
domestic abuse. Life Centre also offer guidance for professionals working with young people and there is an awareness raising
Violence Project. See the directory for domestic
programme for schools. Office – 01243 786349; adult counselling line 01243 779196; SUST (Support for Unwanted Sexual
abuse helplines.
Trauma) under 18s counselling line 0800 2797273
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Paws for thought…
“They who delight in the suffering and destruction of (inferior) creatures, will not be apt to be very compassionate or benign to those of their own kind.” (John Locke, philosopher c. 1705)
It doesn’t
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take much imagination to see that if a person is cruel to animals, there may be a connection to being violent towards his or her fellow human beings. Although awareness of the link is centuries old, it is in recent years that the emergence of a connected way of thinking has arisen that addresses the relationships between the abuse of animals and abuse directed at children or within domestic abuse situations. We have only to cast our minds to the tragic story of Baby P: his mother’s boyfriend was known to the RSPCA for cruelty to animals. It is no surprise then that animals and children living in violent households may become victims as well and animal abuse is particularly used to coerce, control, and intimidate battered women and their children to remain in, or be silent about, the abusive situation. The Links Group was set up in 2001 to create a conduit between relevant organisations so that child protection, domestic abuse services and animal cruelty prevention organisations could cross report concerns. For instance, the RSPCA, having prosecuted someone for animal cruelty might be concerned about children in the home or the potential for domestic abuse. They would share their thoughts with other agencies. At present the cross reporting operates mainly in one direction; in 2006, Social Services referred more than 600 cases
of suspected animal abuse to the RSPCA. However, there is increasing interest in the US and elsewhere in using animal abuse as a potential marker for family violence. Continued research is being undertaken to examine the evidence on which the proposed links between domestic violence and animal abuse are based, identify any priorities for further research, and analyse ethical and policy issues relating to confidentiality and cross-reporting. For women, men and children who are victims of abuse and who might also have the added horror of seeing their pets being hurt as well, it is important to seek help from any of the organisations listed here or in the directory. They can help you and your animals, finding refuges for families and foster homes for pets. NSPCC.................................................. 0808 800 5000 RSPCA................................................... 0870 5555 999 National Domestic Abuse helpline.... 0808 200 0247 Emergency........................................... 999 Websites: Dogs Trust (pet fostering)................... www.dogstrust.org.uk NSPCC Inform...................................... www.nspcc.org.uk/inform Women’s Aid Federation.................... www.womensaid.org.uk Refuge.................................................. www.refuge.org.uk
LOL! ‘Laugh out loud’ for those of you unfamiliar with text speak! It’s a fact that many people with mental ill health have a self effacing view on their suffering and can see the ironic and funny side of things. Hope you have a bit of a giggle with these:
Out of my mind - back in five minutes.
Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Please just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying ‘It's a madhouse in here’"
My reality check bounced!
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. Hypochondria is the only illness that I don't have.
l don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! Of course I'm in shape. Isn't Round a shape?
Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt. Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?
One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If they're OK, then it's you. Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap!
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Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate; one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank! And how long have you had this problem? What problem? How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? • Just one, but the light has to really want to change. • Just One. And his mother. • Just one, but it takes nine visits. • The light bulb will change itself when it's ready. • Why should the light bulb necessarily HAVE to change? Why can't it be happy the way it is? • "How many do you think it takes?" • "How long have you been having this fantasy?"
Signs you might be bipolar • The sun is too loud. • You can see individual air molecules vibrating. • You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. • You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. • You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. • Things become "Very Clear." • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. • You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!" even though you are the only one in the room. • You believe that people are speaking to you in binary code. • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. • You're okay with losing your mind, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend. • You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies. • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
Finalising this issue of Sanctuary, I was trawling through the internet for any news that might be of interest to include. I was doing that on the 25th November. I came across this notice on the United Nations Population Fund (previously the United Nations Fund for Population Activities) website: International day for the elimination of violence against women Statement by Thoraya Ahmed O baid, Executive Director of UNFPA 25 November 2008 As we approach the sixtieth anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, violence against women persists as an all too common violation of human rights and human dignity. Violence against women is the most prevalent and least punished crime in the world. It is also a grave threat to health and wellbeing. Together with the global financial crisis and climate change, it constitutes a major challenge of our time. Today, as we commemorate the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, let us unite for human rights and dignity for all. Let us raise our voices and intensify efforts for zero tolerance of violence against girls and women. And let us salute those who are working hard on this important issue. The women, men and young people who actively challenge discrimination and violence against women deserve increased support. UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund, is deeply committed to women’s empowerment, gender equality and reproductive health and rights. Core to these efforts is addressing violence against women and girls, both as a human rights violation and a public health priority. Today, we call on people and leaders around the world to join forces to make violence against women history. Let us reaffirm our faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, and in the equal rights of men and women. www.unfpa.org
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That violence against women is the most prevalent and least punished crime in the world, a threat to health and wellbeing and a major challenge of our time is staggeringly shocking. Is it time I wonder to be revisionist about political correctness? Of course we must battle on for human rights but when those rights are turned around – often by very clever, cynical and cold legal eagles – in favour of the criminal or perpetrator (his/her background/mitigating circumstances etc) and to the detriment of the victim, haven’t we gone too far? From the playground bully to the mugger, the child abuser to the rapist or domestic violence perpetrator, we should never forget and we need to help people to believe, that it is not our – the victim’s – failure. Ultimately, whatever the circumstances, it is theirs. What do you think?
Megan
The painting is by Frida Kahlo, Mexican painter (d. 1954) who became a feminist idol. She was bi-sexual, physically disabled due to an horrendous car/bus accident, dabbled in drugs and her death was rumoured to be suicide. Her paintings reflected what she called her sense of reality. She had several miscarriages, never having the child she desperately wanted and many of her paintings show the pain and loss she endured. Google Frida Kahlo to find out more about this fascinating woman.
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Serendipity
Louisa tells you... How to look more cosmopolitan than credit crunched this Christmas! Feeling your clothes are drab and dated and don’t know how to afford a new outfit to lift your spirits? Fear not, your wardrobe is probably full of hidden gems just waiting to be worn again, and charity shops are treasure troves for items that can update your look in a flash. Just keep your eyes peeled for these trends and work that look. The little black dress / it never dates and it is a classic that is set to live on forever…any style, any cut…all are good this season. A Statement necklace / do like Louis Vuitton by keeping everything else bare and find something big, jewelled and shiny…the more over the top the better. Sequins / if you have nothing adorned with them, a bag of sequins can be found for very few pence, so get stitching. Berry tones / anything red, purple or pink is so ‘now’, mix them with grey or black or, even better, wear them all at the same time; clashing is the key to this trend. Lace / clothes, shoes and bags covered in lace are an easy way to be ‘of the moment’. Tartan and checks / absolutely anything, particularly scarves and tights, will add a touch of 2008 into 2009 to any outfit. 22
Louisa Daniels is Sanctuary’s assistant editor. She is also a freelance fashion and beauty stylist.
www.louisadaniels.com
Z
A-
k
KARMA literally means ‘deed’ or ‘act’. It is a complex phenomenon with varying meanings in different Asian religions or beliefs. In most it is a cause and effect concept whereby beneficial or harmful effects are derived from past beneficial or harmful actions, creating a system of actions and reactions throughout a person’s reincarnated life. In Indic cultures, the belief is that we all have a free will that creates our own destinies. Karma is something almost organic – it has been described as ‘floating dust that sticks to the soul’, it is everywhere in the universe. There are three types of Karma in Hinduism; sanchita karma – the sum total of past karmas yet to be resolved; prarabdha karma – that portion of sanchita karma that is to be experienced in this life (a hangover from the last if you like) and kriyamana karma, the karma that humans are currently creating, which will bear fruit in future (reincarnations). What ‘translates’ across cultures and beliefs though, is that at its heart, Karma is a logical and understandable way of making sense of good and evil, whether you are inclined to believe in reincarnation or not. And when it is impossible to believe the evil of some people’s actions, perhaps the Karma philosophy can really help make sense of it.
If we were to try and list everything in the alphabet to do with the mind and mental health, we’d be here some time, so here’s the pick of K-M.
of mind matters
l
LAING, R.D; born 7th October 1927, died 23rd August 1989, Laing was a Scottish psychiatrist who wrote extensively on mental illness. His views on the causes and treatment of serious mental dysfunction. greatly influenced by existential philosophy, was an altogether different way of looking at psychiatry than the orthodoxy of the day. He believed in listening to an taking the expressed feelings of the individual patient or client as valid descriptions of lived experience rather than as symptoms simply of some separate or underlying disorder. Arguably he was one of the first arbiters of the service user involvement movement. Often associated with the antipsychiatry movement, he rejected, along with some others who were critical at the time of conventional psychiatry, the idea of putting a label on patients. We continue to fight his point of view to this day!
m
MIND, the; the Mind collectively refers to the aspects of intellect and consciousness manifested as thought, perception, memory, emotion, will and imagination; mind is the stream of consciousness. It includes all of the brain's conscious processes. It can be described as a model of the universe built up from insights. Thoughts of the mind fall into 2 categories: 1) Analysis of past experience with the purpose of gaining insight for use at a later date; and 2) Simulations of future scenarios using existing insights in the mind model in order to predict outcomes. A mature mind has assimilated many insights and understands cause and effect. A "common" or "world" mind refers to minds that are in exchange of ideas and insights with each other and form similar conclusions about cause and effect. Through the form of books and other media, minds from the past are able to communicate their insights about cause and effect to present and future minds. There are many theories of the mind and its function.
Pre-scientific theories, based in theology, concentrated on the relationship between the mind and the soul, the supernatural, divine or god-given essence of the person. Modern theories, based on scientific understanding of the brain, theorize that the mind is a phenomenon of the brain and is synonymous with consciousness. The question of which human attributes make up the mind is also much debated. Some argue that only the "higher" intellectual functions constitute mind: particularly reason and memory. In this view the emotions - love, hate, fear, joy - are more "primitive" or subjective in nature and should be seen as different from the mind. Others argue that the rational and the emotional sides of the human person cannot be separated, that they are of the same nature and origin, and that they should all be considered as part of the individual mind. In popular usage mind is frequently synonymous with thought: It is that private conversation with ourselves that we carry on "inside our heads." Thus we "make up our minds," "change our minds" or are "of two minds" about something. One of the key attributes of the mind in this sense is that it is a private sphere to which no one but the owner has access. No-one else can "know our mind." They can only interpret what we consciously or unconsciously communicate, linking it with their own experiences and life events.
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