Issue 8 (New Year 2010) by Sanctuary magazine

issue 08

New year 2010

Inner space for women’s mental health & wellbeing (across Surrey and the south east)

“I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and gives me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.”

Mental Health 1 Aid st

With the cost of work related mental illness at £28bn - a quarter of the UK's total sick bill the National Institute of Clinical Excellence is urging employers to become more aware of stress, anxiety and depression amongst their workforce and the community in general. Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) Training - www.mhfaengland.org.uk - is an internationally recognised and very effective 2 day training course for organisations who wish to improve their knowledge of how mental health affects individuals and how we can support people (including ourselves!) who are affected. The aim is NOT to turn everyone into therapist or clinicians, but to enable you to provide help, comfort and practical support, as well as exploding some of the myths around mental ill-health.

If you are a... Community & Faith leader Support worker Employer/Manager/Human Resources Social/Healthcare/Youth worker Benefits/Housing adviser Receptionist/Administrator Police/Correctional staff 2

…then you are more likely to come into contact with someone who suffers a mental health difficulty. Would you know what to do to help / support them, or how to respond in an emergency? Local supported employment charity, Employment Support Retraining Agency (ESRA) has funding to provide FREE 2 day MHFA courses as part of its mental health awareness training. Established as leaders in their field, ESRA works with individuals who have mental health problems to access or retain work, and with employers to support people with mental health issues in the workplace.

Talk to Jane at ESRA now about how MHFA can help you and/or your organisation. Telephone 01737 772115

East Surrey local supported employment charity, Employment Retraining Support Agency (ESRA) now offers MHFA courses as part of its mental health awareness training. Established as leaders in their field, ESRA works with and supports individuals with mental health problems hoping to access or wanting to retain work, and with employers to support mental health issues in the workplace.

Editorial comment As you read this issue you will gather it is all about dignity. Do we all have a sense of dignity I wonder? The quote on the cover comes from an American humorist, Erma Bombeck. It is a metaphor for me about how we know we are worthy of respect, compassion, being heard etc, but how difficult it is, particularly as another quote I found suggests, when our dignity is assaulted and vandalized, to feel we are worthy, let alone stand up and demand it. To know what we mean by dignity is a start. The Oxford concise dictionary definition is: 1. the state or quality of being worthy of respect; 2 a composed or serious manner; 3 a sense of pride in oneself. And to ‘stand on one’s dignity’ is to insist on being treated with respect. We hear the term dignity used in moral, ethical and political discussions signifying that we have an innate right to respect and ethical treatment. Linked to virtue, respect, self-respect, autonomy and human rights, dignity is seen as part of human enlightenment. It is used to measure how the oppressed and vulnerable are treated but in more colloquial settings it is used to suggest that someone is not receiving due respect, or that, in the case of ‘carrying the hat and not wearing it’, all too often we fail to treat ourselves with proper self-respect.

Of course one might have a good, strong sense of self worth and respect, an inner dignity if you like as the definition suggests. But when things go wrong and pain, trauma, an illness – mental or physical strikes, it can rock your entire being and challenge your self worth, resilience, and depending how the problem manifests, it can eat away at the very heart of your sense of dignity. And whether real or perceived other people’s attitudes, be they the professionals treating you or friends and family who suddenly encounter a quite different person, appear to change. You may feel you are tolerated, not taken seriously, treated with disdain or worse, discrimination. All of which adds to an erosion of your sense of self and your inner dignity. For every person suffering with mental ill health, being treated with respect and dignity is fundamental to trying to find a perspective on what is happening and a way of dealing with this personal ‘affront’. Even if, because you are angry and frightened, you kick off and out, it is vital people see that as a reaction to an illness, not a part of it. Empathy, understanding and tolerance are as healing as any medicines. So remember, you deserve compassion, respect and the best treatment and care: because you really are worth it!

Megan

Sanctuary is free to everyone. Managing Editor: Megan Aspel Assistant Editor: Louisa Daniels Editorial Group: Elaine, Ashley, Diane Sanctuary is commissioned by NHS Surrey Design by Aspects: tom@aspectsgd.com www.aspectsgd.com

If you are interested in advertising in Sanctuary or sponsoring a whole issue, please contact Megan on 07824 364703 / email: megan.aspel@sky.com

g 3

Stand on your

dignity (but don’t fall off)

Losing one’s dignity can take many forms. There’s the slipping on a banana and falling flat on your back. There’s the other kind of falling flat on your back, for those who like a ‘tipple’ or two and don’t know when to stop! Or there’s ‘losing it’ as in flying into a temper that goes beyond the ‘I’m being assertive’ stage into a screaming and most unbecoming rage. And of course some may say that having a baby or a gynaecological examination just about takes the biscuit when it comes to trying to hang on to one’s dignity! But there is another way that our dignity is assaulted. It is when it is stripped from us. This also takes many and often treacherous forms, for women, men and children across the globe. Violence and abuse, taking away people’s human rights, trafficking for the sex industry, to the subtler forms of making one person feel weaker and more worthless than another, prevail. On a hospital ward for instance:

A woman from a local older people’s charity was visiting some of the patients, particularly those who had few visitors. She was chatting with one patient and noticed that two nurses, male and female were taking one patient after another from their bed (those who were ambulant or could be helped into a wheelchair). Nothing was being said to the patients, just the chatter between the nurses over the patient’s head about this and that, with the frail person between them having little or no significance other than being led or half dragged out into the corridor. After a while, the nurses came to the patient the woman was visiting. With a ‘Come along’, they pulled the bedclothes back and started hauling the patient out of bed. ‘Wait a minute,’ said the woman visiting, ‘what are you doing?’ The nurses looked at her as though she were some speck on the landscape. ‘Oh,’ said one of them eventually. ‘We’re just toileting them.’

The very term itself is abhorrent. ‘Toileting’ sounds so base. Such a lack of respecting people’s dignity, let alone showing compassion and kindness is a far cry from what the Royal College of Nursing defines as the way to treat patients. Their dignity policy reads: ‘Dignity is concerned with how people feel, think and behave in relation to the worth or value of themselves and others. To treat someone with dignity is to treat them as being of worth, in a way that is respectful of them as valued individuals. In care situations, dignity may be promoted or diminished by: the physical environment; organisational culture; by the attitudes and behaviour of the nursing team and others and by the way in which care activities are carried out. When dignity is present people feel in control, valued, confident, comfortable and able to make decisions for themselves. When dignity is absent people feel devalued, lacking control and comfort. They may lack confidence and be unable to make decisions for themselves. They may feel humiliated, embarrassed or ashamed. Dignity applies equally to those who have capacity and to those who lack it. Everyone has equal worth as human beings and must be treated as if they are able to feel, think and behave in relation to their own worth or value. The nursing team should, therefore, treat all people in all settings and of any health status with dignity, and dignified care should continue after death.’ (RCN 2008) Is the erosion of our sense of dignity a symbol of the times? Sanctuary’s assistant

editor Louisa’s article on page 18 tells a sad and worrying story of complete disregard by two emergency services for a young lad who had been in a car accident, and those helping him, because they were all pre-judged as ‘not worthy’ due to the fact they were all wearing hooded (hoodie) jackets. It is perhaps an indication that in our liberated and more informed Western world, we seem to have lost the regard we had for the generations. In the past a person’s life journey was viewed differently. There were rites of passage for the young and to become an old person was to become venerated. Growing old was part of ‘the spiritual journey that gave meaning to the whole of one’s life’ (Human Dignity and Respect for the Elderly, Professor Luke Gormally, 1998). Now older people are trying to regain their youth and younger people are almost demonised for being young! What a mix up! Continued over the page…

Women and dignity 6

The United Nations Population Fund (www.unfpa.org) states: ‘Gender equality is first and foremost a human right. Women are entitled to live in dignity and in freedom from want and from fear…. Empowered women contribute to the health and productivity of whole families and communities and to improved prospects for the next generation…. Yet discrimination against women and girls – including gender based violence, economic discrimination, reproductive health inequalities and harmful traditional practices remains the most pervasive and persistent form of inequality.’ Of course that is a global view but the UK statistics around discrimination, particularly looking at violence perpetrated on women, do not make comfortable reading.  45% of women have experienced some form of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking;

 a

conservative estimate of how many women suffer rape per year is 80,000;  at least 32% of children, mostly girls, experience child sexual abuse; (unofficial figures are much, much higher)  an estimated 66,000 women living in the UK have undergone female genital mutilation (FGM) and 21,000 girls under 16 are currently at risk;  the Forced Marriage Unit in the Foreign & Commonwealth Office deals with approximately 250 forced marriage cases per year, of which approximately 85% are female And then there is the trafficking of women and girls for the sex trade. It is estimated that out of around 500,000 women trafficked into the UK each year, as many as 18,000 women and girls (as young as 14), are made to work in brothels across Britain. Most victims are foreign but a recent police campaign, Operation Pantameter in 2008, discovered that an increasing number of British girls were being groomed by older men and lured into cities away from their homes to end up in prostitution. Prostitution and people-trafficking is now the third most lucrative black market trade in the world after gun-running and drug-smuggling. It is being driven by a growing demand for prostitutes in the UK

with websites promoting sex flourishing and newspapers carrying advertisements for prostitutes. One victim who found freedom through the police operation said she came from a very poor part of the Ukraine and a male ‘friend’ said he could find her work in Moldova. Once there he sold her to a gang who kept her imprisoned, raped and beat her and then shipped her to England. She was sent to a ‘massage’ parlour in Sheffield, where she was forced to see up to 15 clients a day without any payment for herself. She described the experience as “I feel like they’ve taken my smile, and I can never have it back”. When we look at the history of women, there was a time when the unity of the sexes was without question. In fact archaeological evidence suggests that ‘there was no apparent social superiority of males over females and an egalitarian and non-patriarchal society existed’ (The

Myth of the Goddess*). If anything from approximately 40,000 – 5,000 BC, the Goddess was the primary deity figure. Whilst running the risk of making us all victims which we are not, there is an argument to suggest that over the decades, the very fabric of women’s innate dignity and status in the world has been eroded. Reasons for this downfall include of course all the exploitation described above and some would suggest by such phenomena as the shift from the worshipping of many gods and goddesses in different countries, to the establishment of orthodox religions which put a male deity firmly centre stage. One of the most deliciously (depending on your personal philosophy) controversial comments comes from American feminist Marilyn Casselman who said in her recent book, "TALKING THE WALK, The Grassroots Language of Feminism (2008) that: ‘Cosmologically, the feminine principle is the fundamental

cosmic life force, and the female deity, which created the world. National mythologies, peoples and religions share this belief—Japan, Native Americans, Hinduism and Buddhism are examples. This is the central idea that motivates contemporary women to seek to reestablish spirituality around the female life force and which has resulted in various pagan, goddess, witchcraft and healing teachings. Christianity, misogynist at the bone, is now using the feminine principle as a device to reveal the “other face of Jesus” and the “humanity” of Mary and Mary (Virgin and Magdalen), as it tries to hold itself together while coming apart at the seams.’ Phew! Perhaps you might prefer Pope John Paul II’s take. He said in a letter to women throughout the world, in which he was thanking women as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, those who work and those who are consecrated and ‘every woman for the simple fact of being a woman’: “Unfortunately we are heirs to a history which has conditioned us to a remarkable extent. In every time and place, this conditioning has been an obstacle to the progress of women. Women’s dignity has often been unacknowledged and their prerogatives misrepresented; they have often been relegated to the margins of society

and even reduced to servitude. This has prevented women from truly being themselves and has resulted in a spiritual impoverishment of humanity.” On the one hand we have a strident, no holds barred message, on the other, something more enduring perhaps, respecting the sanctity of women and acknowledging how history (arguably created and written by a patriarchal society) has tainted, if not tried to destroy in some cases, the dignity of women. What needs to happen is for us all to remember we are worthy to ‘wear the hat’ Erma Bombeck speaks of and to never let any man or woman question or deny us our self respect and dignity. Remember that the next time you slip on a banana…

* The Myth of the Goddess, 1991, by Anne Baring/Jules Cashford, Penguin, ISBN 0-14019292-1

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mystical aps a more rh e p d n a er d a wiser they are oth another an nderlings; u t “We need o n re a hey nd time, animals... T net of life a e th in s concept of e lv urse rth.” ught with o il of the ea nations, ca r and trava u o d n le sp use, 1928 ners of the termost Ho u O e fellow priso h T , n o Henry Best

We are

Whether

it is driven by current economic difficulties or you just like a challenge, eating on a shoestring can be very satisfying. As the old slogan goes ‘it not only looks good, it does you good’ when you create your own tasty meals from leftovers or from low cost ingredients such as vegetables. Your sense of achievement and self respect is immense. Hard times have often brought out the best in people. In the Great Depression and the two world wars for instance, women had to find ever imaginative ways to feed their families. When faced with rationing, ships with food supplies getting to British ports, women turned to, or rather recalled, their innate abilities learned through the ages, to make ends meet. Transforming leftovers into soup, stale bread into breadcrumbs or using the seeds from something to grow more produce (and taking up an allotment or plot in the garden for vegetables as in the war cry, ‘’Dig for Victory’) were skills that had been handed down since time immemorial. ‘When the bank account is low and

there is a wonderful pot of soup made out of bones, vegetable scraps and herbs, how do we measure this value? When the boredom and sorrows of being human weigh us down to despair, how do we measure the value of food in its comfort and simple physical pleasure?’ (A Thousand Years over a Hot Stove, Laura Schenone) According to some sociologists and perhaps more relevantly, bankers and retailers, we are changing our habits. Some of us are cutting up the credit cards and starting to do, what might have been an almost obscene four letter word in some people’s vocabulary; SAVE! Okay, wander around your nearest supermarket and look in people’s trolleys and that all seems a myth. But many of us are thinking twice about what we want versus what we need and what we can do to count the pennies. Supermarkets are a double-edged sword in the war against debt (and obesity). On the one hand they have opened our eyes to a wealth of different foods from around the world; comestibles our parents or grandparents had never seen. On the other hand, they overwhelm

us with choice; and what do so many of us do, armed with an empty trolley and going down aisle after aisle of pure temptations? Give in – or rather think ‘Ooh that looks nice, I’d like to try that’; And ‘I’d better get that while I’m here’ and so on. How many times have you returned home, tried to find room for all your goods and thought ‘Why did I buy this?’ If our rubbish bins could tell us anything, it would be ‘waste not, want not’! The fact is we don’t need very much food to survive. Look at how little people had during the war and after; a very small percentage of what we gobble up today. If you have never considered making home made soups (or if you have a fab recipe you would like to share, please contact us) there are hundreds of easy and wonderful recipes that you can find on the internet, in cookery books in the library, or that friends have. If it doesn’t come easily to you in the first place, don’t get despondent. You will gain so much from achieving good, wholesome, nourishing meals that also just happen to be cheap! But your sense of pride and dignity will be priceless!

being encouraged to cut down on meat eating for the purposes of addressing carbon emissions. But there is arguably just as strong a case for choosing carefully what meat and dairy products we eat for the sake of the animals that supply it. Perhaps then, this is a good time to take a step back and think about our eating patterns and what we feel about ‘plucking’ a cheap chicken or bit of red meat off the supermarket shelf and not giving a thought to how it was reared or slaughtered, let alone what it contains (chemicals, additives) that harm us. Factory farming, or agri-farming, has created inhumane methods of raising farm animals. Corporate farms raise chickens, pigs, cattle and other livestock in warehouses. These creatures rarely, if ever, see the light of day, are fed diets that are unnatural to their grazing instincts and are pumped full of antibiotics. These mega-corporate farming practices cause indescribable suffering to the animals, but, because of feed additives and the antibiotics, the health hazard isn’t only on the farm; we the consumers of factory farmed meat products are at risk as well. On the flip side, organic farming couldn’t be more humane and better

for the consumer. The Soil Association, a charity founded in 1946 by a group of far-sighted individuals concerned about the health implications of increasingly intensive agricultural systems following the Second World War advocates all things organic. There is pretty powerful scientific evidence behind their work, but for the consumer, it is perhaps the 5 good reasons to eat organic that have most influence. Organic is: 1. better for the planet – over 20% of the UK’s greenhouse emissions come from food and farming today with nitrogen fertiliser manufacturing being the worst offender. Organic farmers work with nature to feed the soil and control pests. Going organic can significantly reduce our carbon footprint 2. good for you – no food has higher amounts of beneficial minerals, essential amino acids and vitamins. Pesticides and controversial additives are avoided and organic milk for instance is on average 68% higher in Omega 3 essential fatty acids 3. kind to animals – Soil Association Standards rigorously protect animals at each stage - rearing, feeding, shelter, transportation and slaughter. Organic

animals are free range and have plenty of outside space to thrive and grow. Birds are free to roam outside, are in smaller flocks and have more space in their houses. Complementary medicines are used instead of antibiotics unless a vet decrees their use. 4. encourages wildlife – plant, insect and bird life is up to 50% greater on organic farms, which relies on wildlife to help control natural pests. Wildlife flourishes in a pesticide and chemical free environment. Don’t forget humans need the wildlife such as honey bees for our very existence 5. GM free – over a million tonnes of GM crops are imported each year to feed non-organic livestock, which in turn supply pork, bacon, milk, cheese etc to our supermarkets. GM ingredients are banned on organic farms Eating organic is more expensive but the greater the demand, the greater the supply, eventually the greater reduction in cost. Say no to the preservatives and yes (at least occasionally) to preserving the dignity – and natural existence – of our fellow creatures. See the Soil Association website for more information www.soilassociation.org

Directory Mental health NHS trusts across the south east................................................

• Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust. T: 01903 843000 • Kent & Medway NHS Social Care Partnership Trust. T. 01732 520400 • Isle Of Wight Healthcare NHS Trust. T. 01983 524081 • Hampshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust. T. 023 8087 4300 • Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust. T. 01344 415 600 • Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust. T. 01865 778911 • Milton Keynes PCT. T. 01908 243933 • Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Foundation Trust. T. 01883 383838 • Age Concern Surrey – 01483 458732 www.acsurrey.org.uk

Alcohol and drugs........................................

• Drinkline, 0800 917 8282 • Al-Anon, support for family and friends of alcoholics, find a local group 020 7403 0888. • Alcoholics Anonymous, find a local group – 0845 769 7555 • Drugscope, for information, www.drugscope.org.uk • Frank (for young people and parents) www.talktofrank.com • Surrey Drug & Alcohol Action Team – for local services, www. surreydat.org.uk

• Heads Together (young people 14-25) 01737 378481. No fees • Croydon Pastoral Foundation, 020 8760 0665. Negotiable rates according to means • North Surrey Community Counselling Partnership, 01932 244070 www.nsccp.co.uk A sliding scale fee basis operates (up to £40.00 per session) • Pathways Counselling Centre, Epsom, 01372 743338. Professional counselling, normal rates apply • Redhill Counselling Centre, 01737 772844. Negotiable rates • RELATE, relationship counselling, 0845 4561310 www.relate.org.uk, for a local branch. A fee is charged for appointments. • Relateen, Epsom (part of RELATE but for young people disturbed/worried about parent’s relationship problems) 01372 722976 • Seastone Possibilities, Trauma Resolution Treatment 01306 640073 / 01737 249364 email: seastone@talktalk.net

Debt counselling........................................... • Christians Against Poverty; freephone 0800 328 0006 www.capuk.org

Depression....................................................... • Depression Alliance, 0845 123 2320 www.depressionalliance.org

Anger.................................................................

Direct Payments.............................................

• British Association of Anger Management, 0845 1300 286 www.angermanage.co.uk

this is money allocated directly to a patient/service user to enable them to have more choice and independence about the support/facilities they can access in the community. For more information contact: • Surrey Independent Living Council (SILC), Astolat, Coniers Way, Burpham, Guildford GU4 7HL. T. 01483 458111

Anxiety............................................................. • No Panic, 0808 808 0545. www.nopanic.org.uk; • National Phobics Society, 0870 7700 456 www.phobics-society.org.uk; • First Steps to Freedom, 0845 120 2916 www.first-steps.org; www.anxietycare.org.uk (enquiries@anxietycare.org.uk to find out about accessing free advice and support)

Bereavement and loss................................... • Cruse 08701671677 www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

Counselling..................................................... (please note, waiting times can be long) • British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy, 0870 443 5252 www.bacp.co.uk (for details of local practitioners)

Domestic abuse............................................... • Surrey Domestic Abuse Helpline (24hr) – 01483 776822 • East Surrey Domestic Abuse Services (covering Reigate & Banstead, Mole Valley & Tandridge) - 01737 771350 Email: support@esdas.org.uk Website: www.esdas.org.uk 9am – 4pm, Monday to Friday, confidential answer phone out of hours. • North West Surrey Outreach Service (covering Woking, Runnymede & Surrey Heath) run by Surrey Women’s Aid 01483 776822 (24hr)

Sanctuary magazine started in Surrey, commissioned by Surrey PCT. With extra help from Care Services Improvement Partnership in the south east, the magazine has a small circulation across Kent, Sussex, Hampshire, Isle of Wight, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire and Milton Keynes, as well as Surrey. We will continue to list organisations and help lines in Surrey in this directory but we’ve added each mental health trust in the south east and will include other important contact details as we can and space permitting.

We are building on this directory all the time. If you have anything to add that you think will benefit women’s mental health and wellbeing in Surrey, please let us know. You can contact Santuary magazine c/o Let's Link, PO Box 533, Betchworth, RH4 9FL. Tel. 07824 364703; email; meganaspel@sky.com

• North Surrey Outreach Service (covering Epsom & Ewell, Elmbridge & Spelthorne) run by Walton & Hersham Citizen’s Advice Bureau - 01932 260690 Email: nsdvoutreach.walton@cabnet.org.uk Website: www.waltonadvice.demon.co.uk 9.30 am – 4.30 pm Monday to Friday, confidential answer phone out of hours • South West Surrey Outreach Service (covering Guildford & Waverley) run by CAHA - 01483 577392 9.00 am - 3.00pm Monday – Friday, confidential answer phone out of hours

Survivors of childhood abuse................... • C.I.S.‘ters for adult women sexually abused as children Run by survivors for survivors – helpline Saturdays 10am – midday 023 80 338080

Eating disorders........................................... anorexia, bulimia • Eating Disorders Associations, 0845 634 1414 www.eduk.com

Hearing Voices................................................ • Rethink, 020 8974 6814 www.rethink.org

Post natal depression pregnancy and birth issues....................... • Association for Postnatal Illness, 0207 3860 868. www.apni.org; www.surrey.nhs.uk; www.babycentre.co.uk; www.netmums.com

Self harm......................................................... • www.selfharm.org.uk; www.lifesigns.org.uk; • www.rcpsych.ac.uk/cru/auditselfharm • Bristol Crisis Service for women (national helpline); 0117 925 1119. Friday/Saturday evenings 9pm – 12.30am. Sunday 6-9pm

Other useful contacts................................. Crisis numbers; • Samaritans, 08457 909090 www.samaritans.org.uk • Sane Line (12noon – 2am daily) 08457 678000. National out of hours helpline for anyone coping with mental illness – sufferers, carers, relatives or friends. • Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Trust, 01737 778142 (24hrs) 0300 456 83 42; text for hard of hearing – 07717 989024 (24hrs) • Childline; 0800 1111

Community Mental Health Teams (CMHTs) • Spelthorne CMHT 01784 440204 • West Elmbridge CMHT 01932 266900 • Runneymede CMHT 01932 723392 • Woking CMHT 01483 756318 • Hollies CMHT 01252 312788 (8.30-5.30 Mon -Fri) • Surrey Heath CMHT 01276 671102 • Guildford CMHT 01483 443551 • Waverley CMHT 01483 517200 • Godalming CMHT 01483 415155 • Haslemere CMHT 01483 783090 • Farnham CMHT 01483 782095 • Conifers CMHT – cove, Fleet & Yateley area, 01483 783555 • Early Intervention in Psychosis, 01372 206262. For 14 – 35 year olds who have had a first episode of psychosis within recent years. • MIND, national organisation for mental health with local branches – www.mind.org.uk Infoline 0845 766 0163. Mind produce booklets on various mental health issues and campaign for better services • Mental Health Foundation, national organisation for information, campaigns, news, interaction, including information on the relation between diet and mental health; www.mentalhealth.org.uk Primary Care Mental Health Teams (PCMHTs) • for long term and complex mental health needs and for referral to specialist services such as Crisis Assessment & Treatment Team, Eating Disorders service, Continuing Needs services. Open Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm • East Elmbridge PCMHT – 020 8873 4300 • Epsom, Ewell & Banstead PCMHT – 01372 204000 • Mole Valley PCMHT – 01306 502400 • Redhill PCMHT – 01737 272301 • Tandridge PCMHT – 01883 385481 • Psychotherapy Service (Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Trust). • Referral only but you can access an information leaflet; contact the Psychotherapy Service at Shaw’s Corner, Blackborough Road, Reigate RH2 7DG. T. 01737 277706 • Samaritans; 08457 909090 • Surrey & Borders Partnership NHS Trust, for mental health and learning disabilities services - 01883 383838 • Surrey Police; 0845 125 2222

During

the many years that Liberia was torn apart by civil war, well over 200,000 people were killed and nearly half a million lost their homes. The wars affected everyone, but in particular, it was Liberian women who were confronted with unimaginable violence. Rape was frequently used as a ‘weapon’ in the wars; child soldiers, boys as young as nine would commit this heinous crime. Other tactics employed by the war lords and the militias included the burning of people alive, gang rape of women and their daughters (boys were forced to rape their own mothers and sisters and then they would be killed and, as a result of this dreadful act, many women were left to raise their murdered sons’ children). As well as this, bets were often placed on the sex of a foetus and then the poor pregnant woman was disembowelled in order to find the winner. There are no words to describe these inhuman and terrible atrocities. According to one World Health Organisation, in the areas most afflicted by the war, over 90% of the women experienced some form of sexual

violence. Of these women 75% were raped, many of them by gangs, 49% were forced to become ‘bush wives’ to the militias, and almost 14% of the victims were under the age of 15. As these figures show the women of Liberia faced inconceivable abuse and yet it was these very same women who stood up to their persecutors and brought about peace in their country. A film called ‘Pray the Devil Back to Hell’ tells the story of the women of Liberia. The dream of peace was one shared by many but it was one woman, a social worker named Leymah Gbowee, who took the first stand. At just 17 years old when the wars first broke out, Leymah turned from a ‘child into an adult in a matter of hours’. In the years that followed, it was seeing her children starving and scared that made her start the Christian Women’s Peace Initiative. Leymah spread her message of peace at her church and it wasn’t long before women from the Muslim community heard about what was happening, and for the first time in the history of Liberia, women from both Christian and Muslim faiths joined forces and the Liberian Mass Action for

Peace was born. What made this group of women so powerful was that it was made up of ordinary civilian women, all of them mothers, grand-mothers, sisters and daughters. Armed only with peaceful white t-shirts, songs, and tears of desperation, they protested in the fish markets and outside of the presidential palace, all of the time knowing that they could be killed for speaking out. As one courageous woman in the film explains, ‘My husband asked me what I was doing, as I could be killed, and I replied to him, ‘well if I get killed remember I was fighting for peace’. In the film, the women do not hesitate to declare themselves as a group against men. In their view the men were ‘guilty’ of supporting violence ‘either by commission or omission’, and as men had all the power in society, they could have done something to end the rape and murder if they had wanted to, but the prospect of being ‘all powerful’ was more attractive to them. Leymah describes the use of one tactic that the women employed in their peaceful protests, one so old it was used by the women of Ancient Greece: ‘No Peace No Sex’. Leymah told the

women, ‘One way or another, you have the power as a woman, to deny the male sex.’ Following this, the husbands of the women, having been starved of physical attention during the ‘sex strikes’, backed up their wives and helped to strengthen the message of peace. In order to speak a language that men understood, it doesn’t seem surprising that these women used sex as a ‘weapon’, too. Public support for peace grew and their efforts paid off when the Liberian President, Charles Taylor, was forced to attend the 2003 peace talks in Ghana. The women continued to pressurise the religious leaders and they campaigned non-stop, even going to Ghana and collecting support from the women there. When the peace talks stalled, Leymah forced the leaders to come to a resolution by threatening to strip off in front of the world, and also by the women blocking the door ways. Leymah ordered one leader, ‘You go back in there...if you were a real man you wouldn’t be killing your people, but because you’re not a real man I’ll treat you like a little boy...and we will keep doing this, it has to be a peace talk, not a circus.’

Eventually, after two weeks, an agreement was reached and Charles Taylor was exiled and elections were organised. Despite this promise, the country was unstable and the women kept campaigning for peace amongst the bullets and shells to show that they were watching the implementation of the peace process. As one woman recounts, ‘we campaigned until we forgot we could be raped...Peace is a process and not an event.’ Ultimately, the democratic elections did happen, and the first female head of state in Africa, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, was elected. Going back to the idea of peace as ‘a process and not an event’, unfortunately violence in Liberia has far from ended. In the aftermath of the war, there is still a struggle to change the misconception that violent sex and, most worrying, sex with children is acceptable. One reason attributed to this frame of mind, is the fact that during the wars a lot of men got used to preying on people who couldn’t fight back. In addition, violent pornography is everywhere, and so the women are fighting a popular culture, as well as working to dispel the ritualistic delusions that are still prevalent, for

To find out more about the film please visit www.praythedevilbacktohell.com

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The Dignity of Peace

instance some believe that spilling semen in a virgin will secure a job. Despite the huge challenges that the women of Liberia have overcome, they are still fighting to make their country a better and fairer place for all, and with the support of the president’s gender ministry they are making some good progress. Since the end of the civil wars the government has introduced new laws to better empower women, including laws on inheritance, outlawing forced marriages and marriages to girls under the age of 14, and introducing new laws against rape and female mutilation, and there is now even a court that specifically deals with rape cases. A big step forward considering that less than eight years ago it was absolute chaos. The women of Liberia know better than anyone that changing the mentality of a shattered nation takes time and perseverance, and with such strength and determination it’s fair to say that these admirable women will not stop until it is done. By Louisa Daniels.

Assistant editor, Louisa discovers how Christian and Moslem women joined together to begin to bring peace to their civil war torn land and thus help restore their fellow women’s dignity that had all but been annihilated.

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Profile: the women behind the campaign ‘Pray the Devil back to Hell’ Leymah Gbowee

Founder and executive director, Women in Peace and Security Network – Africa (WIPSEN-Africa) Leymah Gbowee (pronounced LAY-mah BEAU-wee) was a 17 year old girl when the war first came to Monrovia, Liberia. As she says, she turned “from a child into an adult in a matter of hours”. As the war dragged on, Leymah had difficulty focussing on anything but her thwarted opportunities to go to college, and out of bitterness she dodged any political or social involvement. But as time wore on, she came to see that it would be up to the citizens of Liberia, especially its women, to bring the country back from the insanity of civil war. She trained as a trauma counsellor and worked with the ex-child soldiers of the Liberian President, Charles Taylor’s army. The more she worked with them the more she came to see that they too were victims. Leymah joined the Women in Peacebuilding Network (WIPNET) and quickly rose to leadership. She brought the women of the Christian churches together and soon formed a coalition with the women in Muslim organizations and the Liberian Mass Action for Peace came into being. Leymah is currently building WIPSEN-Africa, in Ghana. The network’s aim is to build relationships across the West African sub-region in support of women’s capacity to prevent, avert and end conflicts.

Image courtesy of Meats Meiers

Etweda ‘Sugars’ Cooper

Secretary General of Liberian Women’s Initiative Etweda is one of the doyennes of the Liberian women’s movement and is known for speaking out! In 1994, during one of the darkest hours of the Liberian civil war, she and other women – tired of being victimized, and frustrated at the stalemate in the peace process – founded the Liberian Women Initiative to advocate for disarmament and free and fair elections, and also to bring pressure to bear on stakeholders for the inclusion of women in negotiating a settlement of the Liberian conflict. Throughout 14 years of civil war she used mass action including picketing, sit-ins and marches involving grassroots and professional women and their groups to attract world attention to the plight of women and children and to urge the international community to take action to end the war.

Vaiba Flomo

President of the Christian Women’s Peace Initiative Vaiba (pronounced VAH-bah) was working with the Lutheran church’s trauma healing programme when she met Leymah Gbowee. Vaiba, haunted by the war’s atrocities, pressed Leymah to galvanize the women of Liberia to take action, because she said, “there is not a single woman in Liberia who will say she doesn’t have pain from the crisis”. Together they worked to bring Christian and Moslem women together. Where there was reluctance from anyone of another faith, Vaiba’s response was, “Can a bullet pick and choose? Does the bullet know Christian from Muslim?” Reluctance turned into action and the women began their campaign. Vaiba continues to work with victims of trauma. She marvels at what the women achieved; “Sometimes when I think on the work, I’m like ‘wow’; just two little country African girls’ dream has become so big!”

For more information, email: info@praythedevilbacktohell.com

Art

for Heart’s sake

When your world

turns inside out and anguish and despair are staring you in the face, what lies deep within you can be your ticket out of the nightmare. Nina, a woman who suffered severe clinical depression that brought short term alcohol dependency and who was also homeless for a while, didn’t just discover an inner strength: she also found an energy and skill for being highly creative. After divorce and other distressing life changing events, Nina found herself at life’s lowest ebb. As someone with several years of working in the field of mental health, she was all too aware of what was happening to her. What she also knew was that recovery was her own responsibility as much as it was any clinical or other intervention. Nina believes there has to be a willingness to engage with services in order to help yourself get a clearer perspective on what is happening to you and how you can help yourself to get well again. Beginning as she did to give expression to her feelings through art was a major step forward. She describes how a creative therapeutic environment gave her the platform to grow in confidence and competence. “Creativity has a major impact on my wellbeing,” says Nina. “I am blessed with the opportunities that are given to me, particularly at Art Matters*, a studio for artists in Redhill, Surrey. “They provide a safe and nurturing environment where I have learned so many different mediums, tools and techniques to express my art. It has enhanced my deep Spiritual connection with my creative work, which as a consequence brings a complete sense of wellbeing.” Continued over the page…

Art

for Heart’s sake

Nina is currently working on several innovative creative projects and is intending to study colour therapy. She says, “I am so excited about taking my work further and out into the ‘real’ world.” Life has become positive once more. Nina is testament to how dignity can be recaptured and recovery become a reality through

creative expression and a determined will. Nina says it all when she says, “Life has never been so joyful. As a woman I celebrate my recovery and creativity, the latter without a doubt the biggest tool for my wellbeing.” Putting your heart into art can bring solace, joy and the freedom to be you. Try it.

* If you would like to know more about Art Matters, visit www.artmattersrichmondfellowship.org.uk

Take a look under the hood 18

It’s

a sad truth that age discrimination is something that older people are likely to experience. However, it might be surprising to hear that younger people suffer from discrimination, too. Largely due to the stereotypes created by a small few, many young people face being labelled with terms such as ‘thug’, ‘hooligan’ and ‘lout’. With all the sensational ‘scum’ stories, unfortunately it’s not often enough that the public hear about the good things that young people do every day. The Independent recently published an article about this and they suggested that more than half of all the news stories about teenagers in the national and regional newspapers in the past year were about crime. As a result, there is a fear of young people, and consequently assumptions are made that could cost someone dearly.

I will try to keep a long story short. Following a car accident in which a friend’s younger brother was in, I accompanied my friend to a local hospital. On arrival it was clear that the doctors had absolutely no sympathy for those involved in the crash (although the boy with his parents present was seen pretty fast). I found it hard to understand why they were being so aloof considering our patient was so scared (he wasn’t much more than a child). Not surprising as his lower lip was split open down to his chin. Passed from pillar to post, we were told they were transferring us and we had to transport him to another hospital. There we were told they had no idea that we were coming and that we had to wait. We waited, patiently, in the car so that he could lie down, and I made regular trips to see if the doctors were there yet.

On the fifth time before going back to the car I decided to buy a coffee and I accidentally dropped some money under the machine. At that moment a kind cleaner (I call him The Angel) appeared out of nowhere and told me to come with him, through A&E, and he would get me my change. I willingly followed him, and to my absolute disbelief there were four doctors sitting at the computers typing into Facebook (an online social network). I, having had no sleep and being treated like a second class citizen, burst into tears and went straight to reception to inform them of my discovery. Within minutes we were being called in (I had to get the patient out of the car first) and, bless him, he finally got to lie down properly. I was upset and I cried out ‘Doesn’t anyone here care?’ Soon a junior doctor walked over and

he took a look at him and directed us immediately to the relevant department. When we arrived there, I was still upset and the wonderful doctor who welcomed us asked if I was ok, he seemed saddened by what I told him but not surprised. He fetched the medical notes and handed them over to me without saying anything. Written on the piece of paper were the words, ‘car crash, hoodies, not wearing seat belt, possible drink/drug driving’. I looked at the three of us, and we were all wearing hooded tops. I felt sick. Those who wrote this assumed, everyone who read the notes assumed, and it was as if they had all decided to make him ‘pay for it’. The surgeon who put him back together said we had just got there in time, any later and it could have been too late to stitch his lip up properly. (The accident happened at 11pm and he started

having his lip sewn up at 11.30am) I left that hospital heartbroken. According to the Citizens Advice Bureau’s website for young people, it says that discrimination is not allowed for race, sex, sexuality, religion or disability, but ‘discrimination because of your age is not against the law’. Worryingly, only recently has age discrimination been talked about in terms of being outlawed in the NHS. We have some way to go I assure you. Having seen the heartless discrimination that both the old and young have to face, by what is supposed to be a non-judgmental service, I am disgusted, and I always remind my Nan not to wear a hood if she has to attend an appointment!

By Louisa Daniels

Turning the red light to a bright light of hope, Citylight, based in Brighton and working across Sussex, brings emotional and practical support to women and girls involved in prostitution and/ or sexual exploitation, including those who have been trafficked for the sex trade. Their help can restore dignity and give people the strength to make a different life for themselves.

For every

Shining a different light on prostitution

woman who goes into prostitution willingly (as in the case of Dr Brooke Magnanti aka Belle de Jour) there are many who go there in desperation or because it offers a ‘role’ with which they are all too familiar. One young woman, we’ll call her Debbie, suffered unbearable childhood sexual abuse from the age of four. She describes why she got into prostitution. “From the age of four, I was abused by family members and by the men they invited to the house. I wasn’t the only one; other children were brought there as well… “When you have experienced what I have, for so many years, it feels as though it is a part of who you are; the very fabric of you. I tried ‘normal’ life but became very unwell mentally. Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to be rid of the dreadful memories. But I just couldn’t cope. I was in and out of psychiatric units, I’d sometimes be there for months on end. I’d start again, study, try and move on. But the flashbacks would drag me back and I’d end up in hospital again, having tried to commit suicide. Then I started to see someone who led me into the downward spiral of the underworld of prostitution. “I hated every moment, every person that came near me. Yet I felt as though this was what was meant to be for me; this was what I had known all my life, after all. There was even a strange sense of having some sense of identity. Here I was, doing what I had been groomed to do all those years ago – what else was there; could there be for me in life?” Debbie was in touch with her local

mental health services which referred her to Citylight. They were able to help her leave the situation she was in, get away from the pimps and into a safer place. Citylight is one of those organisations that do the most profound and dedicated work on a shoestring. They believe that ‘prostitution and commercial sexual exploitation of any kind is inherently harmful to women and children’. Their Christian values are founded on love, respect and equality for all. To work in prostitution they believe is not a choice most people would make freely, ‘rather it is chosen for women by their socioeconomic constraints, vulnerabilities, impoverishment, the strongholds of sexual abuse, gender inequality, and those men who demand the sale of sex’. Their manifesto is in accordance with the European Women’s Lobby (EWL) and the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW). The service works in three main areas: supporting women involved in prostitution and victims of sexual exploitation and sex trafficking. According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), trafficking in human beings is the fastest growing international crime. Women and children are the most common victims. For women and girls involved in prostitution, Citylight’s aim is to ‘empower them to make informed choices. Support may be focused on alleviating a number of different barriers preventing women from exiting prostitution, including assistance with gaining employment, accessing training,

housing, welfare and benefits’. They help address low self esteem, signpost people to other services such as counselling, and help people look at the destructive cycles of behaviour – including addictions and abusive relationships – that ‘pin’ them into prostitution. They also run an outreach service, visiting different establishments ‘to monitor the safety and wellbeing of all women working in local brothels, offer them support, and raise their awareness of trafficking’. For Debbie, they have proved the first major step in helping her make some difficult choices in her, still, young life. Of course it is up to her, and all the others Citylight help, to take the leap of faith into another way, another life: but once someone has begun to see a different light ahead, that isn’t coloured red, but shines bright with undeterred hope and vision for the future, it may be more difficult to turn back than to forge ahead. Citylight work with the police and are part of Operation Thames (previously known as Operation Pentameter II, the national campaign against trafficking in human beings). Funding is always something Citylight must find. If you or anyone you know would like to support Citylight in anyway please feel free to contact them. For referrals and general enquiries, call 01273 221 116/117 or fill in the online form www.citylight.org.uk If you are involved in prostitution and live/work within Sussex and would like to contact Citylight for support, call 01273 221 140 during office hours or 0845 873 6624 for confidential advice.

Serendipity AFrom the top

of your head to the tip of your toes, in terms of fashion and style, everything about you is a statement. The ‘statement’ can be anything from ‘I’m looking gooood!’ to ‘I don’t give a damn!’ or variables in-between. Few of us, if we are totally honest, really ‘don’t give a damn’. More likely, our circumstances, health – mental and/or physical – can prevent us looking after ourselves. Time, money, just the will to put a bit of effort into how we look conspire to edge us towards just not bothering. Think how you feel though when you’re hair is how you like it, you’ve maybe lost a few pounds, your clothes feel right – YOU feel right! But it isn’t all about wearing your favourite clothes or a new look. It is also recognising what is right for you, what expresses who you are. And there we can

so very easily fall into a trap. What we may regard as our personal statement of sartorial ‘je ne sais quoi’ may say something quite different to others. Every woman needs to take a good long hard look in the mirror once in a while. Age for instance should never preclude you from wearing something radical – but putting the look together may need a different twist from how you did it when you were younger. ‘Mutton’ should be every older girl’s fashion watchword! Growing old disgracefully is to be recommended but it should be done with insouciance; a certain quirky style and dignity rather than a brashness and brassiness. Fashion has lots of clever remedies if we search for them. Long line cardigan style tops cut on the bias will flow around your body; a perfect cover up for any lumpy or flabby bits. If you have

a barrel waist go for jeans on the waist (Mind you young girls with ‘muffin’ tops might do well to heed the same advice!). Think about your anatomy and find a look that works with it. Going for the latest hot look may end up with you looking – not! There is enough in the fashion ‘arsenal’ for everyone to find what suits them best and still be up to date with current trends. All in all isn’t it better to make a stand for dignity rather than a whimper for defiance? This season’s looks are fab for any age, and there’s something for every shape. Military meets angelic; white cuts a swathe through the camouflage and pastels spectrum, and shoes can be sweet and practical or sky high and downright dangerous. Be sassy, make shrewd purchases and above all – stand on your dignity as well as the tips of your toes in your high heeled pumps.

of mind matters If we were to try and list everything in the alphabet to do with the mind and mental health, we’d be here some time, so here’s the pick of A – C.

Q R S Quality:

Recovery:

Service user involvement:

Quality in mental health services means different things to different people but broadly speaking, we would all consider the following as ticking the quality box: the best possible treatment, highly knowledgeable but warm, friendly staff, feeling safe, respected, shown privacy, confidentiality and dignity, and overall, able to say that in whatever our circumstances and level of ill health, we felt truly cared for, listened to and given a sense of hope and recovery. In the document High Quality Care for All, the pathway to quality services is set out on three levels: safety, effectiveness and patient experience. The Care Quality Commission rates mental health service providers through core standards. One standard is patient focus and the outcome should be that ‘Healthcare is provided in partnership with patients, their carers and relatives, respecting their diverse needs, preferences and choices, and in partnership with other organisations (especially social care organisations) whose services impact on patient wellbeing’. Read more and find out how you can have your say at www.cqc.org. uk and www.ournhs.nhs.uk

The concept of recovery for many people who continue to suffer mental ill health may be an alien one. For those people who sadly recall being whisked off to an institution once diagnosed, the ‘mantra’ they lived with was that there was no way out: maintenance possibly, alleviation of symptoms with medication probably. But full recovery? Not so today. Now the chant is that recovery can be experienced, in part or whole. Recovery in mental health has a range of meanings. It is not a total outcome like recovery in a physical sense. It can mean being in control, building resilience, knowing how to manage symptoms and when to seek help. That requires a certain amount of ‘grit’ and determination on the part of the sufferer, and a philosophical attitude that buffers the individual when the coping mechanisms falter. It also requires faith in the services and the people who provide them. They are key, alongside the support of friends, family, communities, to instilling hope. The Recovery Model is now recognised as an approach that helps people move beyond mere survival and existence, to bringing meaning to their lives through activities, relationships and a sense of self worth, determination and recognition of individual skills and attributes. Find out more at: www.mentalhealth.org.uk or www.tidal-model.com

Recent research shows that most people prefer the title of patient or client of mental health services rather service user. But the latter sprang up around twenty or more years ago, and service user involvement is the term established to describe involving patients/clients in service planning, within their own care and in general. Arguably patient power began when the internees of Bedlam, in 1620 petitioned the House of Lords about their inhumane treatment. The son of Prime Minister Spencer Perceval, John Perceval, began The Alleged Lunatics Friends Society in 1845 after he was released from a lunatic asylum where presumably, judging from the name of the society, he should not have been incarcerated. Service user involvement as we have come to understand it today though began in the ‘50s and ‘60s and in 1974 Community Health Councils began the crusade in earnest, fighting for the rights of patients. Legislation appeared in 1990, making it obligatory for organisations to involve patients in service planning/development. 2010 sees mental health service user involvement as a national and local movement and accepted practice in health and social care. Find out more from www.together-uk.org

More mind matters next issue...

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Printed by Reliant Colour Solutions: www.reliantcolour.com Editorial team: Megan (managing editor), Diane, Elaine, Louisa

ÂŠ ASPECTS 2010