SHE February 2015

FEBRUARY

2015

The Home and

the World

Local author shares her adventures

ALSO INSIDE: Fashion’s Natural Inspirations Things to See and Do A Move to Add to Every Workout

FEBRUARY 2015

Features

18

10 24 2

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

10 Paint By Nature

Fashion’s spring palette

18 Animal Facts

Author Ashlee Brown Blewett

24 Carrying Laney

February 18, 2015 EDITOR Jenny Elig

One couple’s solution to infertility

COPY EDITOR Katharine Smith ART DIRECTOR Amanda Waltz GRAPHIC DESIGN MANAGER Ben Hill WRITER Samantha Stutsman

36

Grape Salsa recipe from Columbus Food Co-Op

REGULARS 6

Just a Minute

8

Out & About Local events

16

She Finds Dish it out

23

She Moves Moutain Climbers

30

She Rocks Follow-up with Mary Carmichael

photographers Andrew Laker Chet Strange Stock Images Provided by Thinkstock

She ©2015 All rights reserved. Published by The Republic

SEND COMMENTS TO: Jenny Elig, The Republic, 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201. Call 812-379-5691 or email shemagazine@hne-media.com ADVERTISING INFORMATION: Call Cathy Klaes at 812-379-5678 or email cklaes@therepublic.com.

All editorial and advertising content in She are copyrighted and cannot be reproduced.

FEBRUARY

2015

33

She Says Views from the street

34

She Designs Styling tools holder

36

Cuisine Recipes from Columbus Food Co-Op

e Home Th and rld the Wo

Local author shares her adventures

ALSO INSIDE: Fashion’s Natural Inspirations Things to See and Do A Move to Add to Every

Workout

on the cover:

Ashlee Brown Blewett Photo by Andrew Laker

February 2015 // she magazine

3

>> editor’s note

Patience in the Present Tense As I walk up Washington Street headed to a committee meeting or to visit with downtown shop owners, I notice that the shadow — cast by the wintry sun at my back — is just a little longer. So, too, I hope, is my emotional fuse. After all, February is about having patience.

Truth be told, I’m not a very patient person. If you delayed just a teensy bit at the green light and the person behind you honks, it might be me. I rarely have time for small talk about nothing or long walks to nowhere. As I mentioned before, the cold weather infuriates me, so this year I knew I needed to work on my attitude. I needed to develop patience.

Admittedly, we have not had a terrible winter thus far. As I write this in late January, our lowest high temperature for the day was 12. Bartholomew County has been so warm, I even had a chance to hit my neighborhood on foot. Taking one of those lovely long walks to nowhere in particular, I meandered around the Columbus City Cemetery, hoofing it all the way to the Bartholomew County Public Library, all the while thinking how fortunate we were to have the weather of early spring in late January.

Despite the fantastic weather, I generally think of February and early March as a time for hunkering down. It’s about honing a craft or a skill while biding one’s time indoors.

In late December, I undertook a project that requires the utmost patience: getting fit. Five nights a week, armed with a load of gossip magazines and an earful of dance-y songs, I hit the gym for more than an hour. With this in mind, I decided to include a new feature in our magazine: She Moves. Every month, you’ll find an exercise step broken down into separate stages. You’ll find February’s move, mountain climbers, explained on p. 23.

This issue of She tells other stories of patience. We share the tale of Missy and Andy Dempsey, p. 24, whose patience led them to find a solution to their struggles with infertility. We share recipes from Columbus Food Co-Op member-owners who, after more than a year of working toward a brick-and-mortar location, have found their sweet spot. Local author Ashlee Brown Blewett, the subject of our cover story, worked patiently to build her newest online project, Youshare, a site that communicates stories from around the world; you can read about her work on p. 18. And, finally, we check back in with Mary Carmichael, p. 30, who, as the winner of the She Rocks contest, was rewarded for the patience and kindness she displayed in caring for her autistic granddaughter.

Of course, any month is a good month to have patience. It is, after all, a virtue and one that I hope to maintain throughout the rest of the year.

Jenny Check out past issues of She magazine at

4

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

February 2015 // she magazine

5

iFeel Pretty

Treat yourself

The keys to beauty lie in a good night’s sleep, a healthy diet, exercise and … your smartphone? Well, sure. With a few well-selected beauty apps, your smartphone can become a font of makeup knowledge. This week, we’re digging Beautylish, a free app for both iPhone and Android platforms featuring makeup advice, product recommendations and step-by-step makeup videos.

Another favorite: Pretty in my Pocket (PRIMP), a shopping tool that allows users to browse and buy beauty products.

The term “petit four” translates from the French into “small oven.” Typically, Americans think of petits fours as bitesized, fondant-glazed cakes. But there’s nothing typical about the petits fours at Gramz Bakery and Cafe, 409 Washington St. A worthy splurge, these small cakes are artful, with lovingly rendered icing and a much larger size than your average petit fours. Available in rich flavors such as red velvet, Grand Marnier, and cookies and cream, these sweet cakes sell for $3, and all are made in-house, says Shelly Cole, Gramz head baker.

For the birds To attract colorful songbirds to your feeder this winter, fill it with sunflower seeds, says Kris Medic, interim county extension director of Purdue Cooperative Extension-Bartholomew County.

“If I had to choose only one feed for my winter bird feeders, it would be sunflower seeds,” she says. “Around here, sunflower seeds attract the more colorful songbirds like goldfinches and cardinals.”

Birds will flock to the striped sunflower seeds; they enjoy the thicker shell, but blackbirds and house sparrows do not, she explains. And, Medic says, when you opt for sunflower seeds rather than a prepared mix, you’ll find less waste on the ground.

6

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Recommended Reading Book selections/reviews by Mary Clare Speckner, Bartholomew County Public Library director of adult programming.

“Novel Living: Collecting, Decorating and Crafting with Books” and “The Repurposed Library: 33 Craft Projects That Give Old Books New Life,” both by Lisa Occhipinti Author Lisa Occhipinti is quite open about the fact that as a child she “adored books despite the fact that (she) hated to read.”

She enjoyed the illustrations, the page texture and just the feel of a book in her hands. When she was 10 years old, the author realized that she also enjoyed actually reading books. Later, Occhipinti wondered if books could have a greater physical presence. She

began creating a series of art and craft projects that utilize books as more than reading material.

From this grew her first book, “The Repurposed Library.” Projects include a Kindle keeper, narrative vases, a book ledge, a biographical bracelet and a music book.

She also demonstrates how to make bookplates, bookmarks and custom-made dust jackets.

Although her second book, “Novel

Living,” contains some craft ideas, it covers quite a bit about the collecting and decorating aspects of books. Specific chapters cover topics such as collecting books for content and form; various shelving units; how to make an old-school card catalog; how to make bookends; and how to repair books.

You can read more about the author at locchipinti.com.

“The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work,”

by Christine Carter Who knew there were happiness experts? Christine Carter is just that. The University of California Berkeley expert’s new book, “The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work,” features Carter who, as a mom, writer and speaker, found herself in a hubbub of busyness.

She began a quest to create a less-stressful life without diminishing her career and happy home life, and she developed the formula: Take Recess + Switch

Autopilot On + Unshackle Yourself + Cultivate Relationships + Tolerate Some Discomfort = The Sweet Spot for her book. In it she builds off her formula, devoting a chapter to each of her ideas.

In addition to giving ourselves a break from work, Carter believes that taking a recess increases brain power and converts stress into creative energy. After all, if we run on autopilot, our habits bear the load we have been hoping willpower would shoulder.

Most of us already know that a break from technology and social media is good for us. Carter believes that option can open the door for more joy and a simpler lifestyle. While you are disconnected from your smartphone, at least for a bit, you will have time to meet others and develop friendships or give more time to the friends you already have.

February 2015 // she magazine

7

Combat cabin fever with these fun events. art exposure

date night

girls night out

Feb. 20 The Langston Hughes Project

Feb. 19 Cabaret at The Commons

Feb. 21 Carnivale Italy

To mark Black History Month, a suite of the famed black poet’s works will be presented in a multimedia performance of spoken word, a jazz quartet featuring Ron McCurdy and a slide presentation of Hughes’ era. Special guest artist and native Columbus singer Marja Harmon also will perform. Time: 7 p.m. Location: The Commons, 300 Washington St. Cost: $15 to $25. Information: (812) 764-6477.

The popular Columbus Indiana Philharmonic-helmed series continues with “Love All Ways,” featuring Broadway veteran Mandy Gonzalez. Time: 7:30 p.m.

Location: The Commons, 300 Washington St. Cost: $15 to $50. Information: (812) 376-2638, ext. 110 or theCIP.org.

The 12th annual kidscommons benefit features an Italian theme that extends to menu, entertainment and drinks.

Features a free signature drink, free valet parking, dancing, entertainment, live and silent auctions and a cash bar. Open to ages 21 and older. Time: 7 to 11 p.m.

Location: kidscommons, 309 Washington St. Cost: $75 per person. Information: (812) 378-3046 or kidscommons.org.

Feb. 21 The Real Group

Sponsored by Thomasson, Thomasson, Long and Guthrie, this 1956 film stars John Wayne and Natalie Wood.

Time: 7:01 p.m. Location: Yes Cinema, 328 Jackson St. Cost: $5. Information: (812) 378-0377 or yescinema.org.

A performance by the Swedish a cappella group will be presented in conjunction with the St. Bartholomew Concert Series.

Time: 7:30 p.m. Location: The Commons, 300 Washington St. Cost: $25. Information: (812) 379-9353, ext. 237.

March 28 Columbus Indiana Philharmonic presents “Freedom” The concert celebrates the end of the American Civil War and incorporates James Westwater’s “photochoreography” with music performed by the philharmonic. Time: 7:30 p.m. Location: Columbus North High School auditorium, 1400 25th St. Cost: $10 to $45.

Information: (812) 376-2638.

March 14 Classic Film Series: “The Searchers”

April 12 Columbus City Band Spring Concert Stephen McGrew conducts the longestrunning volunteer community band in the state in performing show tunes, concert, symphonic and military band music. Time: 2 p.m. Location: The Commons, 300 Washington St. Cost: Free. Information: columbuscityband.org.

Through April 1 “Spring Reign” This gallery show by Laura LaForge features spring-themed paintings, with a twist of unexpected colors.

Location: WellConnect, 237 Washington St. Gallery hours: 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Monday through Friday. Cost: Free.

Information: (812) 247-0502.

8

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

A work by Laura LaForge.

Feb. 28 D-vine Winter Wine & Beer Fest Sample products from numerous wineries and breweries around the state during this benefit for Developmental Services Inc. Time: 1 to 7 p.m.

Location: The Commons, 300 Washington St. Cost: $20 in advance, $25 at the door. Information: (812) 376-9404 or DSIservices.org.

family time

Feb. 19 Purdue-Indiana Basketball Family Game Watch Sponsored by Purdue Club of Bartholomew County and Indiana University Alumni of Bartholomew County. Beer, wine and concessions available for purchase. Time: 7 p.m. Location: Yes Cinema, 328 Jackson St. Cost: Free.

Information: (812) 379-1630.

Feb. 21 Seventh annual Canstruction This exhibit of structures built entirely from nonperishable and canned food items runs through March 1. All food items used in the competition will be donated to Love Chapel, the Salvation Army and Hope food pantries. Time: Mall Hours, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday through Saturday, 12 to 6 p.m. Sunday.

Location: Fair Oaks Mall, 2380 25th St. Cost: Free. Information: canstruction.org/ events/columbus-in.

March 6 First Fridays for Families: Wacky Chad All First Fridays for Families performances are geared toward preschool ages. This installment of the popular series features stunt comedian Wacky Chad. The following First Fridays show will feature a Dancers Studio performance of “Snow White.�

Time: All performances are at 6 p.m.

Location: The Commons, Nugent-Custer Performance Hall, 300 Washington St. Cost: Free. Information: (812) 376-2539 or artsincolumbus.org.

February 2015 // she magazine

9

10

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

For spring, Pantone, the color-matching company, released its en plein air palette, a collection of hues inspired by the painting technique of the same name.

For painters, en plein air is traditionally about slinging a box easel over the shoulder and heading out to paint the natural beauty that surrounds us. The popular looks of spring mimic nature, with cool tones and muted warm tones — think aquamarine, dusk blue, strawberry ice and toasted almond. As we wait for nature to open her paint box, here are some fashion finds to add the season’s most chic colors to your everyday wear.

Story by Jenny Elig | Photos by Chet Strange | Modeled by Annaka Hendershot Hair by Dee Arihood, makeup by Kerry Emmert Stahl, both of Studio Shag

Blue period

For a night out, select a delicate dress in colors you can find in nature.

Dress, $179, Lockett’s; bracelet, $54, Minash; clutch, $36.95, Red Lips Spatique February 2015 // she magazine

11

Woodland spirit

Blue lace and simple geometric patterns mix softness with an edge.

Lace dress, $99, Minash; sweater, $44.95, Red Lips Spatique

Rites of spring

Spring’s accessories have both color and texture.

Clockwise: Mint green clutch, $50, Minash; sea-green bag, $62, Lockett’s; textured clutch, $36.95, Red Lips Spatique; salmon bag, $135, Lockett’s

12

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Nature is a language

Strong graphics in natural prints lend an undomesticated touch to your wardrobe.

Photographic shirt, $99, Lockett’s; leggings, $31, Lockett’s; booties, $78, Red Lips Spatique; jacket, $112, Minash

Spring reign

Chambray is an effortless way to wear the season’s trends.

Chambray shirt dress, $99, Minash; necklace, $38, Lockett’s; Vera Bradley purse, $98, Lockett’s

February 2015 // she magazine

13

The cooler side of warm

Think of your favorite berry, add a little ice, and you’ve got the idea.

Blazer, $86, Minash; tank, $33, Lockett’s; necklace, $22, Red Lips Spatique

50 shades of the forest

Details are delicate and in keeping with the overarching themes of nature.

Necklace, $72, Lockett’s; bracelet, $13, Lockett’s; belt, $34, Minash

14

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

WHERE WE SHOPPED

Lockett’s Ladies Shop 426 Washington St. (812) 376-8363 lockettsladiesshop.com

Minash 2485 Beam Road (812) 799-7915 facebook.com/ minashboutique

Red Lips Spatique

Studio Shag

643 Washington St. (812) 372-0477 facebook.com/ pages/Red-Lips-Spatique/174455255948216

3780 Jonathan Moore Pike (812) 799-1389 studioshag.com

February 2015 // she magazine

15

Dish It Out

One of 2015’s biggest food trends is home dining.

That’s right, we’re once again firing up our ovens and preparing our own food. We might even be throwing dinner parties. It is said that we eat first with our eyes, and this season’s tableware options offer many ways to feed those hungry eyes.

2

1

3

4

6 5

7

16

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

WHER E WE S HOP P ED 8

9

Baker’s Fine Gifts

433 Washington St. 812-372-9635 facebook.com/pages/ Bakers-Fine-Gifts-Accessories

10 Tri-State Artisans 422 Washington St. 812-528-5748 tsartisans.com

11

1. This floral tray has divots to keep your dips riveted in place. $7.99, TJ Maxx 2. Perfect for serving snacks, desserts or even tiny salads, these eye-catching bowls are a bright addition to your table. $3.99 each, Target 3. Both elegant and rustic, this plate lends itself to the ordinary day or the day that’s out of the ordinary. $3.99, Target 4. It seems almost a shame to use these saucy serviettes for wiping your mouth. $75.50 for the large package, $24 for the small package, Baker’s Fine Gifts

5. Your wine will breathe more easily in these swirl-pattern glasses by Rolf. Set of six: $75 stemmed or $60 stemless, Baker’s Fine Gifts 6. It’s not a silver platter, but this serving dish is a lovely addition to your table. $71.25, Baker’s Fine Gifts 7. Salt and pepper become more exotic when they’re shaken from these conical salt-and-pepper shakers. $36, Baker’s Fine Gifts 8. Butter gets a sleek presentation in this Nicole Miller butter dish. $6.99, TJ Maxx

9. This embellished glass serving bowl charms as a fruit dish. $10, TJ Maxx 10. You’ll want to finish all of the food from this gorgeous dish, created be Indiana-based artist Thom Maltbie, just so you can gaze at the bottom. $150, Tri-State Artisans 11. We hope the food you put in these homespun bowls by Indiana-based potter Brad Ellis is as wholesome as the bowls themselves. $20 each, Tri-State Artisans

Target

1865 N. National Road 812-376-0450 target.com

TJ Maxx

3200 Columbus Center Drive 812-372-7711 tjmaxx.tjx.com February 2015 // she magazine

17

Author Ashlee Brown Blewett’s gaze spans the world

A

s a National Geographic researcher and author, Ashlee Brown Blewett has explored the depths of the Bahama blue holes and the vast deserts of Sub-Saharan Africa. She has interviewed world-renowned conservationists and raised awareness for threatened animals. She’s heard the roar of the lion and dissected the family structure of the elephants.

And she’s done it all from her home in Columbus.

Growing up in a small town in northern Indiana, Blewett, now 34, cultivated a love of research. “I wanted to explore as much of the world as I could,” she says.

After finishing her degree in general studies, with a focus on television production, at Indiana University, she moved to Washington, D.C., in 2004.

There, she began working for “The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer.”

She got her foot in the hallowed doors at National Geographic after meeting her future boss at a Discovery Channel documentary film festival and conference, which she attended in 2005.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity,” Blewett says, quoting Roman philosopher Seneca.

That luck led to a job working in National Geographic’s television division, where she developed documentaries and other films.

“If you’re going to work in documentaries, the place to go is National Geographic,” she says. “There is just something about the mission and the history.”

She gained experience and something else while working at National Geographic. In 2006, she met another Indiana native, Nick Blewett, who was working as an intern for the National Geographic television division.

Story by Samantha Stutsman

18

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Ashlee Brown Blewett and her husband, Nick, pose for a photo in California’s Sequoia National Park.

February 2015 // she magazine

19

A lioness sits with several cubs in the high grasses of the Maasai Mara National Reserve in Kenya in a photo from “National Geographic Kids Mission: Lion Rescue.”

Photo by Anup Shah/Taxi/GI

“National Geographic Kids Mission: Elephant Rescue.” She is “We met through a mutual professor from IU,” Blewett said. also the author of two chapter books for National Geographic, “One of the things that brought Nick and I together is that we including “National Geographic Kids Chapters: Horse Escape found out early on, when we talked about our hopes and dreams Artist.” for life, we shared the same goal: to positively affect as many “The one thing I try and do in my writing is to make it truly people as possible.” creative nonfiction to where it doesn’t sound like you’re readIn 2011, the couple switched gears and moved to Columing an encyclopedia or a reference book,” bus, which is Nick’s hometown. They married she says. in 2013.

Writing for children is just something With the shift in locations, Blewett opted that Blewett says you get a feel for, and her for another change: She wanted to write. innate curiosity allows her to dive into a sub“You kind of figure things out as you go ject. She tries to keep the prose creative and along in your career,” she says. “I didn’t necessparkling, allowing the readers to immerse sarily want to continue writing show proposals themselves in her books. because that’s not really an end product.”

The author also tends to immerse herBlewett had never written a book before, self into studying the animals. The more you but she met with a National Geographic Kids learn about an animal, Blewett says, the more editor. After a few smaller chapter book projfascinating it becomes. Her favorite animal, ects for National Geographic, the “Mission: after having worked on the “Mission: Animal Animal Rescue” series that she had helped to develop became her focus. Her first project was – Ashlee Brown Blewett Rescue” books, is the elephant.

“With elephants it’s all about family,” she writing about Africa’s apex predator: lions. says. “Their family structure is so similar to The “Mission: Animal Rescue” books are humans’ (family structures). They are just designed to educate, but they also serve as a very intelligent. They grieve the loss of another elephant. They way to get kids involved using short activities after each section. problem solve.”

The books are accompanied by a strong interactive element, Much like an elephant, Blewett had to problem solve during available through the kids.nationalgeographic.com site. the research process for her books. Interviewing experts might Blewett has written two books of the current four in the be one of the more challenging elements of putting together the series: “National Geographic Kids Mission: Lion Rescue” and

“I think we have gotten so far away from that connection with nature and wildlife.”

20

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Where to see Ashlee Brown Blewett’s work “National Geographic Kids Mission: Lion Rescue” and “National Geographic Kids Mission: Elephant Rescue” are available locally at Viewpoint Books, 548 Washington St. (812) 376-0778. ©2014 National Geographic

Blewett’s most recent project, youshare, is online at youshareproject.com.

February 2015 // she magazine

21

“Mission: Animal Rescue” books, she allows. Experts are often in the field in a far-flung country, with no access to phones and no Internet connections.

“You work with what you’re given,” Blewett says. “Sometimes if (the experts) are in a remote location and their Internet connection or their phone connection isn’t that good, I start with a list of 10 to 15 questions, and they’ll respond to them in their own time.”

No interviews are conducted face-to-face and contact can be sporadic, but the books have put Blewett in touch with internationally recognized biologists, explorers and conservationists, all working at the peaks of their professions. “Mission: Elephant Rescue,” for example, used leading elephant biologist Joyce Poole as a source.

Another big challenge was aligning the facts, Blewett says, and her biggest fear was having a fact out of place.

“No matter who I’m working for, whether it’s National Geographic or someone else, the most important thing that comes out of the final product is that it’s factual,” she says. “That is what I lost sleep over.”

The lost sleep was worth it. Since the books’ 2014 release dates, Blewett has seen the “Mission: Animal Rescue” series inspire children to take action through its interactive online elements and in person (during a book signing at Columbus’ Viewpoint Books) and during an out-of-state classroom visit.

“I think we have gotten so far away from that connection with nature and wildlife,” she says. “The purpose of these books is to introduce you to these animals and explain why they’re worth saving.”

Although Blewett plans to devote more time and ink to telling animal stories, she and Nick have dreamed up a new venture, one that is completely their own and that highlights the couple’s global mindset. Launched mid-January, youshare (youshareproject.com) offers a platform for story sharing, all with the mission of enabling a more global community.

More simply put, the site is a chance for people from around the world to submit their stories, with subjects ranging from the Ebola fears of Sierra Leone to chasing insects in Brazil.

The idea came about a year ago, while the couple wandered around the maze at Las Vegas’ Caesars Palace, bouncing around thoughts related to their shared goal of positively affecting people.

“When Nick mentioned this idea of a website where people could share their stories, we knew it was really special,” Blewett says.

“It hit a sweet spot for our interests.”

Developing the website consumed the tail end of her 2014.

As time goes on, the Blewetts would like to expand and include a YouShareKids and YouShareFiction.

“The most interesting thing about it to me is that contributors can really be anyone,” Blewett says. “We believe that everyone has a story worth telling.”

The Blewetts have visited numerous exotic locales: (top to bottom) Yaxha, Guatemala; Point Lobos, California; Pacaya Volcano, Guatemala; and Tikal, Guatemala.

22

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

CLIMB TIME This simple move packs a powerful punch

STEP 1

When we asked Katie Willett Moomaw to pick a highly effective exercise to share with readers for the inaugural She Moves feature, the former personal trainer, with a small sigh, proposed mountain climbers.

Moomaw now serves as a volunteer resource coordinator for United Way of Bartholomew County, but the mother of a 1-year-old says she still makes time to stay in shape. And though mountain climbers provide a great full-body workout, Moomaw says, they happen to be one of

Lower yourself into a plank position, with wrists below shoulders, hips parallel to the floor, legs extended and feet hip-width apart.

STEP 3

her least favorite to do. Its effectiveness, she explains, trumps her dislike. “(Mountain climbers) help with hip mobility and joint flexibility,” she says.

“They’re good for upper arms and your core, which is working hard to stabilize your back.”

Level 1 mountain climbers involve stepping the legs back and forth alternately.

When you’re ready to advance, try jumping rather than stepping as you switch legs.

Switch feet. Do this as many times as you can, gaining speed as you go. Watch your posture and maintain plank position.

Most people tend to inch their feet toward their arms as they get tired. Not to worry, Moomaw says. “This is not a move where compensating form is going to ruin your workout.” Simply reset your position and keep moving.

STEP 2

Bring one knee toward your chest, maintaining the plank position and placing the ball of your foot to the floor beneath your chest.

February 2015 // she magazine

23

Carrying LANEY

One couple’s infertility solution forges a lasting bond On March 21, 2010, Hope resident Missy Dempsey’s life was threatened. She had just given birth by way of a cesarean section to her set of fraternal twins, but she was losing blood.

“My uterus would not contract back,” she says.

“They had to do an emergency hysterectomy. They said it’s pretty rare. The doctor who did ours said the last one he did was 15 years prior to that.”

It was the day she became a mom and the day that she was stripped of the capability to ever give birth again.

Missy and her husband, Andy, had been trying to conceive for four years before deciding to see Dr. John Jarrett, a fertility specialist in Indianapolis. He gave them the option of trying in vitro fertilization, better known as IVF, where the egg and sperm are united outside the body and then placed inside the uterus.

“Dr. Jarrett always puts two embryos in at a time,” Missy says. “It just betters your chances. The chances are really good that you’ll have twins. They could even split so you could have quads.”

Story by Samantha Stutsman Photos provided by Missy Dempsey

24

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Tonya Ruf, left, and Missy Dempsey, during Ruf ’s pregnancy as a gestational carrier.

February 2015 // she magazine

25

The Dempsey family: Missy, twins Ava (left) and Adyn and Andy in November 2013

The idea of having two babies from one IVF treatment wasn’t daunting for the Dempsey family.

“We just thought we’re getting the biggest bang for our buck,” she says. “We’d been trying for four years to have kids; the fact that we could have two was amazing.

We were excited, very excited.”

After the birth of their twins, Missy and Andy still had two frozen embryos in storage. Gestational surrogacy, the process of implanting an embryo in another woman’s uterus, was the only option if they wanted to have more children — a decision they found themselves debating in 2012.

“Andy and I kind of went back and forth, like I don’t know if we want to do this,” she said. “It’s a lot to ask somebody. Friends and family said they would do it for us, but we didn’t know if they were sincere.”

Rushville-area resident Tonya Ruf met Missy when they were both working at Irwin Union Bank in Columbus. Similarities marked their friendship: Both women were pregnant with twins at the same time, and Ruf ’s twins would be born just two days after the Dempseys welcomed their twins.

The women kept in touch via Facebook after Missy 26

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

changed jobs in 2008. It was through that social networking site that Missy asked Ruf for a big favor: to carry her remaining two embryos through pregnancy and birth.

“She sent me a Facebook message to ask me, which is funny to some people,” Ruf says. “That was how we had always communicated post-work life. That’s just what we did.”

Ruf accepted without hesitation. Being pregnant, she says, fascinated her. “It amazed me that something inside your body could make you sick,” Ruf says. “It was bizarre the weird symptoms that it caused. I did the whole process more for selfish reasons; I did it because I wanted a pregnancy without the outcome.”

Before the process of implanting the embryos could begin, a contract had to be drawn up. The families went back and forth for a good month before finalizing the legalities.

“In that contract it states that my husband and I are responsible for all the medical bills,” Missy says. “We’re responsible for providing life insurance for Tonya. We also paid mileage for doctors’

“It’s a lot to ask somebody.”

– Missy Dempsey, on her decision to ask Tonya Ruf to be her gestational carrier

CLOCKWISE: The families come together.

Left, Ruf family: Tonya Ruf, her husband, Sam and their twin sons, Kipton and Clayton. Right, Dempsey family: Andy, twins Ava and Adyn and Missy in March 2014.

The first ultrasound picture of Laney.

This necklace bears the sentiment that become the family’s motto: “Find joy in the journey.”

February 2015 // she magazine

27

Ava, Adyn and Laney in October 2014, shortly after Laney was born.

appointments. Tonya could have easily asked for compensation, but as long as we covered all the bills and maternity clothes, she didn’t ask for anything else, which was a huge blessing.”

Along with the contract, Ruf had to go through a full medical check, and the families participated in psychiatric evaluations.

On Feb. 13, 2014, two embryos were placed in Ruf ’s uterus, similar to the Dempseys’ IVF process. One embryo developed into a pregnancy, a girl. Her name would be Laney.

The families now call the pregnancy a storybook success. There were no hiccups in terms of the actual pregnancy, but Ruf says there were times where she felt very alone. Her husband, Sam Ruf, struggled to become invested.

“I felt like he didn’t baby me as a lot of husbands baby their pregnant wives,” Ruf says. “I felt like I had to suck it up a lot in this pregnancy. It was my choice. Yes, he agreed to it and signed off on the legal documents, but it was by my choice.”

As a husband and a father himself, Andy empathized with Sam. “During the whole thing I probably had the easiest part because I didn’t have anything to do,” Andy says.

“Sam probably had the hardest part because he had to take care of their twins while she was pregnant and couldn’t do stuff.”

Andy’s personal challenge was establishing an attachment to the baby. It was hard to look at Ruf and realize that it was his child growing inside her. “(The Rufs) surprised us and gave us a 4-D ultrasound when we were 32 weeks,” Missy said. “(Andy) got to sit there and watch Laney move for like an hour. That was the first time he actually felt a bond.”

Ruf went into labor on the evening of Oct. 15. A C-section was performed, and Missy cut the umbilical cord of her healthy baby girl on Oct. 16.

The Dempseys chose to give their daughter a double middle name, Ann Marie, a nod to Andy’s mom as well as to Ruf, whose middle name is Marie.

“She practically took a whole year out of her life to

“It was their baby from the beginning.”

– Tonya Ruf

28

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

give us a child,” Andy says. “Not a lot of people would do that.

She has definitely been a blessing to us. Hopefully Laney will be close to her (for her) whole life because she gave her life.”

The pregnancy’s conclusion was not painful for Ruf, who wasn’t troubled by parting with Laney. “It was their baby from the beginning,” she says.

But she did wonder how the friendship would proceed. “I never knew where I would fit into their life, and I didn’t want to lose them as family,” she says.

Missy never imagined the relationship that would develop between her and her friend. Photos of the two women during Ruf ’s pregnancy show a shared glow. They are now exactly what Ruf had hoped for: family. “(Tonya) and I were just acquaintances,” Missy says. “Something like this pulls you closer together than what you thought.

My intention was for her to carry our baby, and I would stay in contact every so often. But now it’s a bond; I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Laney at 2 months old.

February 2015 // she magazine

29

Mary Carmichael, the winner of She Rocks 2015.

30

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

As the winner of She Rocks, Columbus’ Mary Carmichael got some much-needed luxury treatments, as well as some souvenirs.

“I think it’s wonderful to be pampered,” she says. “I haven’t been for so long. To be pampered like this, it kind of seems like you’re Cinderella.”

“To be pampered like this, it kind of seems like you’re Cinderella.”

For Carmichael, the special treatment is a welcome change. The mother of three grown daughters is raising her autistic granddaughter, Makenzi. With all of her resources, both emotional and financial, devoted to 12-year-old Makenzi, Carmichael says she would not have been able to afford the gifts she received as the winner of She Rocks.

Story by Jenny Elig | Photos by Regina Baker Photography

Oksana Luibičeva-Pickens

February 2015 // she magazine

31

Her prizes included a cut, color and style from Alternatives for Health; flowers from Amari Arrangements & Gifts; tanning, makeup and eyelash extensions from Blondie’s Tan & Spa; jewelry from Columbus Gold & Diamond; a massage and facial from Exhale with Hope; lunch at The Garage; a Brighton purse from Lockett’s Ladies Shop; a photography session from Regina Baker Photography; an oil change from Renner Motors; and a dress from That Special Touch.

“It felt good to not have to worry about everything,” she said.

Carmichael also hopes that her profile in She magazine will highlight the needs of autistic children in Bartholomew County.

“I do believe that we need more (services) in Bartholomew County to help,” she says. “We need more facilities and doctors. This is not just for Makenzi, but for the future children.”

32

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Each issue we ask women a different question.

This month:

“What’s your favorite winter comfort food?”

“Chicken and dumplings.”

— Victoria Craig Griffin

“I have two: Grilled cheese sandwich (made with several different cheeses) with tomato soup.

Spaghetti marinara with Italian sausage, warm garlic bread and a glass of great Chianti.”

— Sarah Brady Cannon

“My favorite comfort food is hot cocoa with peppermint.”

— Sue Lamborn

“Roast pork and sauerkraut over mashed potatoes with applesauce on the side.”

— Melanie Remillard

February 2015 // she magazine

33

PUT THIS IN YOUR

Designs

r Styling Tools Holde

Make a personalized styling tools holder

By Jenny Elig

Any woman who’s ever styled her own hair knows: Those Victoria’s Secret waves and high-volume blowouts do not come without the aid of curling irons, blow dryers and flat irons.

You rely on hot styling tools to bump your hair into a state of gorgeousness.

But if you’re anything like us, your styling implements are scattered around the bathroom vanity with the cords becoming kinked and knotted.

Here’s a solution in the form of a fun craft project, which has been making

34

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

the rounds on Pinterest and Facebook.

This hot tools holder is easy to make, and the embellishments give you a creative charge. Plus, it offers space for both a blow dryer and a curling iron or flat iron.

The idea is elegant in its simplicity, and the list of supplies is low.

Here’s how to make your own hot tools holder with less effort than it takes to do your hair.

February 2015 // she magazine

35

By Jenny Elig

36

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

The Columbus Food Co-Op’s member-owners share their favorite recipes Traditionally, food co-ops are a departure from regular grocery stores. Just as co-ops offer a different avenue for local and regional food producers, they also offer community members a stake in their grocery store by elevating dues-paying shoppers to the status of member-owners, who share in the organization’s governance.

The Columbus Food Co-Op, founded in 2010, might just fill a hole in the puzzle that is Columbus, says SaraBeth Drybread, community outreach coordinator for the food cooperative.

“I have been in several different community gatherings and meetings here over the past few years where people talk about creating a welcoming community or what makes Columbus whole,” Drybread says. “One of our member-owners said, ‘Every great community I’ve lived in had a food co-op (store).’ It’s kind of the missing link here.”

The Columbus Food Co-Op shares the same objectives as other food co-ops both regional and national, but until November the organization was without a brick-andmortar location.

After more than a year of searching, organizers announced at the tail end of 2014 that the lease was signed and the keys were in hand for the co-op’s new space. Planning for the build-out has begun on the 1750 25th St. location.

Drybread, who has worked for the Columbus Food Co-op since early in its inception, appreciates locally grown food and relishes the potential for the organization to give back to the community.

“I love how food brings people together,” she says.

With that sense of community in mind, we asked Columbus Food Co-Op memberowners to share their favorite recipes.

About the Columbus Food Co-Op The Columbus Food Co-Op is a not-for-profit operation modeled on other regional food co-ops. You can become a member-owner for a one-time share of $90. That one-time fee gives member-owners access to special discounts and is an entry point into sharing the co-op governance.

For more information on the co-op, visit columbusmarket.coop.

February 2015 // she magazine

37

Grape Salsa From member-owner Brian Walters

This verdant salsa has an ingredient you don’t often see in savory recipes: grapes. Walters notes that, if you’re in a hurry, you can skip the draining, combine all of the ingredients and then drain just before serving.

“But I find that you lose more flavor that way,” he said. “Also, I would not suggest chopping the grapes without benefit of a food processor. I tried once and almost lost a thumb.”

2 cups (1 pound) coarsely chopped seedless green grapes ½ cup chopped green onions 1-2 fresh serrano chilies, seeded to your taste and coarsely chopped 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro 2 tablespoons (white wine) vinegar 1 clove garlic, minced ½ teaspoon salt Freshly ground pepper

38

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Rinse the whole grapes in a colander and transfer to food processor. Pulse about eight times until coarsely chopped. Return chopped grapes to colander, add salt and allow to drain into sink or over another bowl.

While grapes continue to drain, place minced garlic and chopped serrano chilies in food processor and process until both are finely chopped. Add to grapes draining in colander. Chop onions and cilantro and add to grapes draining in colander. Mix gently and allow mixture to drain about five more minutes. About 15 to 20 minutes will pass in total draining time.

Transfer mixture to serving or storage bowl and then add vinegar; stir to combine.

Refrigerate for about one hour. Check for heat level and add a couple of dashes of cayenne pepper sauce, if necessary.

Ribollita From member-owner Sarah Grey

“(This is) a traditional Tuscan bread soup,” Grey says. “It’s usually made a day or so before serving, then reheated, hence the name, which means twice-cooked. This is thrifty peasant food and uses everything from the garden, plus stale bread. While this recipe looks long, it is not at all complicated.”

1 pound dry cannellini beans ½ cup plus a little extra virgin olive oil 2 cloves garlic, crushed 4-5 sage leaves Salt and freshly ground black pepper 2 medium to large yellow onions, peeled and chopped 2-3 carrots, peeled and thickly sliced 2-3 ribs celery, trimmed and thickly sliced 2 medium potatoes, thickly sliced 1 large bunch Swiss chard, trimmed and coarsely chopped 1 bunch cavalo nero kale or other kale, trimmed and coarsely chopped ½ small savoy cabbage, cored and coarsely chopped 1 cup chopped canned Italian plum tomatoes 3 thick slices day-old country bread

Cover the beans with cold water and soak overnight in a large pot. Drain and add 12 cups of water, 2 tablespoons olive oil, garlic and sage. Cover and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Skim off any foam as the beans come to the boil. Reduce heat and gently simmer, stirring occasionally with a long wooden spoon, until the beans are tender, about 1 to 2 hours. Season with salt.

Remove beans from the heat and allow them to cool in their liquid. Reserve at least one cup of beans. Puree the rest with their liquid and set aside. Heat ¼ cup olive oil over medium- low heat. Add onions and cook until soft, about 20 minutes. Add carrots, celery, potatoes, chard, cavalo nero and cabbage, stirring well. Add the tomatoes, cover and cook until the greens wilt, about 20 minutes.

Add pureed beans and simmer, covered, for about an hour. Add bread and reserved beans, stir gently, cover, return to a simmer, then cook for about 10 minutes more. Season to taste with salt and pepper, and refrigerate overnight.

The next day, or when ready to serve, preheat oven to 375 degrees. Heat soup in a casserole in the oven, uncovered, stirring occasionally for 30 minutes. Then cook for 30 minutes more without stirring. Drizzle on remaining olive oil and serve.

February 2015 // she magazine

39

Creamy Potato Soup From member-owners Liz and Nate Brownlee, owners of Nightfall Farm

5 pounds potatoes 3 to 6 carrots, chopped 2 to 4 stalks celery, chopped 1 medium to large onion, chopped 4 to 5 cloves garlic, chopped 1 package of mushrooms (about 12-15 mushrooms), chopped 1 to 2 heads of broccoli, chopped 1 pound fresh ground pork from Nightfall Farm, available through the co-op Salt and pepper to taste 1 package cream cheese ¾ cup sour cream 2 cups cheddar cheese (or 1½ cups cheddar, ½ cup pepper jack) 2 cups milk ½ cup basil ¼ cup rosemary

40

She Magazine // FEBRUARY 2015

Cut five pounds of potatoes into half-inch cubes, boil until mostly cooked. Drain two-thirds of the water off.

In a large soup pot, on medium/medium-high heat, saute onion, carrots, garlic and some salt and pepper in your favorite oil (butter, lard, olive oil, etc.).

When veggies are about halfway cooked, add fresh ground pork and broccoli; saute until ground pork is browned. Turn heat to medium.

Add cooked potatoes to soup pot, with remaining liquid. Add cream cheese, sour cream, cheddar cheese and milk. Cook on medium until cheese has melted.

Add mushrooms and herbs. Cook on low-medium heat until mushrooms are done.