July She Magazine

Maggie Lewis Public servant

july 2012

J u ly 2 0 1 2 • s h e m a g a z i n e

PLUS: Women’s Giving Circle Mommy diaries Fashionable bags

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Councilwoman

4 Maggie Lewis Cover photo by Jennifer Cecil

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Women’s Giving Circle

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Professional accessories

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The mommy diaries

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Jacque Douglas

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editor’s note My son was baptized last month, and as part of our parental preparation for the big day, the priest asked my husband and me to write Nolan love letters. Sign me up!

Obviously I wasn’t worried about being able to perform for this one.

I didn’t stress about possible writer’s block. Instead, as I sat down to pen my prose, I soon realized my problem would be the opposite.

Just how would I organize the mass of thoughts in my mind? How would I find the right words to express just how much this little man means to me, how much he’s changed my life?

Mistake No. 1 was thinking I’d fit this all on an average, bi-fold blank greeting card. Mistake No. 2 was thinking there was any number of sheets of paper that could fit all my feelings. OK, Kelsey, you don’t need to tell him everything.

I gathered myself and decided to come up with a theme for his letter and stick to it. I settled on promises. After a fairly short-and-tothe-point intro containing a basic profession of love and undying devotion, I went into some promises that I would make to him on this momentous occasion. That profession and those promises will remain just between Nolan and me.

The original intent is to give your child the letter at another big moment in his life – obviously further down the road when he can read, comprehend and appreciate it. However I realized I don’t want to do this just once.

It gave me such joy to write this secret note to my son. Writing is what I do. It is the best way I can express myself. So spurred by his Catholic christening, I decided each year of his life I will write Nolan a love letter. I’ll save said letters for that big moment later in his life.

There is no relation between this editor’s note and the rest of the magazine.

I just felt compelled to share my experience. That said, enjoy this issue!

EDITOR Kelsey DeClue COPY EDITOR Katharine Smith GRAPHIC DESIGNER Stephanie Otte WRITERS Melissa Fears Kelly Fiorenza Diana Gambaiani Kelly Glick Crystal Henry Andrew Larson Jennifer Willhite photographerS Jennifer Cecil Joe Harpring Madeline Hodek Andrew Laker Stock Images Provided by Thinkstock

July 18, 2012 She ©2012 All rights reserved.

Published by The Republic.

Do you have a comment about a She article or feature?

E-mail Kelsey your remark or short personal story that pertains to a topic you read about and we may publish it.

It’s all about keeping She your magazine.

Check out past issues of She magazine at

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SEND COMMENTS TO: Kelsey DeClue, The Republic 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201 Call 812-379-5691 or email kdeclue@therepublic.com ADVERTISING INFORMATION: Call Cathy Klaes at 812-379-5678 or email cklaes@therepublic.com.

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Madame President Columbus native Maggie Lewis making a difference in Indianapolis

By Melissa Fears Photos by Jennifer Cecil

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Maggie Lewis lives in Indianapolis, and as president of the City-County Council of Indianapolis and Marion County, works to better her community; however her roots with another city — a bit farther south — run deep.

“I absolutely love Columbus; it will always be home for me,” she says. “When I talk about home, and it drives my husband crazy, I think of Columbus. I have nothing but good memories.”

Lewis was born and raised in Columbus, grew up in a large family and graduated from Columbus East High School.

She holds memories of swimming at Donner pool, playing kickball and lounging at her grandmother’s house on Pearl Street.

“I think that being raised in Columbus gave her a stronger sense of family ties,” her husband, LeRoy Lewis III, says. “Columbus is a very close-knit community. It’s humbled her in a way.”

The 39-year-old Lewis met her husband in college, and the two will celebrate their eighth anniversary in August.

“My husband forces me to step outside my box, and watching him work a room I think that I can be more outgoing like him,” she says. “I like to fly under the radar. I don’t need the spotlight.

My husband just naturally does it and does it so well.”

She maintains a full-time job as executive director of the Dove Recovery House for Women, a small nonprofit serving women with a history of substance abuse, drugs or alcohol, located on the eastside of Indianapolis.

“I fell in love instantly,” says Lewis. “It’s a wonderful place to be at. I draw strength from being at the Dove House. I’m only two minutes from my office at the City Council Building, where we are fighting for millions of dollars, but when I come here I have ladies who would be happy to have five bucks in their pocket.”

Both jobs balance each other out, she says.

The Lewises have a 5-year-old son, LeRoy Lewis IV, and adjustments to her new council job and growing fame have been difficult at times, but they work through them.

“My wife has always been civil minded and so have I,” LeRoy Lewis says. “My son has also been very giving in his long five years of existence. We have to support her. It gives us more father and son time to bond. We just adjust; that’s what you do when people you love take on challenges.”

Maggie Lewis wants her son to be proud of what his parents have done. She is mindful of children looking up to her, especially little girls.

“Whether we want to be role models or not we are,” she says. “I know there are people and little girls watching me all the time.”

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“When I talk about home, and it drives my husband crazy, I think of Columbus. I have nothing but good memories.”

— Maggie Lewis

Being the first female president of the City-County Council, she is humbled and honored by the position, but she doesn’t get caught up in it.

“I recognize it,” she says. “I stand on the shoulders of some great giants. There are wonderful female leaders in our history who have led the path for me. It’s an honor and privilege, and I don’t take it lightly. I set out to be the best I can be.”

“I think her work ethic is immeasurable, and she never stops working,” her husband says. “She doesn’t know how to take a rest.”

Maggie Lewis first got the itch for leadership through her involvement with Health Occupations Students of America. She received her bachelor’s in health education from Indiana State University and followed with her master’s degree in public administration. She says she always knew she would be doing something where she was serving other people.

Being involved with a sorority was a start in becoming more involved in the community. “I had a willingness and yearning to help people,” says Lewis. “I built really great bonds with my sorority sisters, and it’s where I met my best friend, Tory. I don’t have any sisters, so being able to get along with other girls and hang out I just learned real sisterhood.”

She used this desire to help and soon became involved by working the polls for the Democratic Party. Her political career began with an open Indianapolis City Council seat. “I started praying about it, but it was a good natural step,” she says, of initially being unsure of the job at hand.

As president of the council, she has seen that government can be made to work in the public’s interest. For example, Lewis had worked on getting the smoking ban passed in Indianapolis for years,

“I stand on the shoulders of some great giants. There are wonderful female leaders in our history who have led the path for me. It’s an honor and privilege, and I don’t take it lightly. I set out to be the best I can be.”

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— Maggie Lewis

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both as a health education professional and while she has been in office.

“I think she is a very steady hand,” Mary Moriarty Adams, councilwoman for District 17, says. “I like her leadership style. She is very straightforward. Maggie was involved with reaching across the aisle with the Republicans, finding compromising points with the smoking ban.”

Considering future ramifications can be beneficial in proposing an ordinance that will affect both parties along with taxpayers.

“Her decision-making is always well thought out,” says Adams. “She considers the outcomes and effects of putting forth a proposal on the public, whether it’s a fiscal ordinance that may affect taxpayers or whether it’s a smoking ban that affects employers or employees.”

During her first term at the council, Lewis has been active in the community she serves, and it is not uncommon to run into her any day of the week throughout her district.

“I went out with fellow party members and did the grass-roots campaign where we knocked on doors in our district,” she says. “We went to churches to visit and shake hands. I was adamant that no one would be able to say I’m not active in my community. I continued to do what I was doing all along where I was at neighborhood meetings and at task force meetings, so that when it was time to campaign it felt like a continuation of what I had been doing the last three years.”

Faith and prayer play a large role in her life and how she goes about her day.

“I believe that God puts you in places of service,” she says. “You surrender your life to him, and he puts you where you need to be. My faith is an important piece in moving and directing me. Politics is really crazy and cutthroat. I trust people until they give me a reason not to. Maybe that’s a downfall, but we have a lot more in common than what we have that’s different. We all want the same thing. All said and done, I have to justify what I have done on this side of heaven.”

Lewis always gets a boost of confidence from her mother, her biggest cheerleader. “Everything I do I can point back to my mother saying, ‘Maggie Ann, you can do whatever you put your mind to.’ She is the strongest person I know. When it’s all said and done in this crazy world of politics, that’s what keeps me focused and makes me happy. It puts everything back in perspective.”

With social services as her background, the council position was a natural fit for Lewis to rise to a challenge and help those in need.

“It puts me back into perspective and reminds me what’s important in life and that you know at the end of the day we all want the same thing,” she says.

“I don’t know what is next politically, but I feel like with my day job, I will do something like this for a long time.”

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Open hearts and open wallets Women’s Giving Circle awards grants to benefit other women and children

By Crystal Henry photos submitted One raindrop easily disappears without a trace. But adding more drops together will start to form a pool. And the pool of the Women’s Giving Circle is enriching lives through grants given to organizations in the community.

The Women’s Giving Circle is a philanthropic group dedicated to giving back to the community, said Jalene Hahn, chairwoman. The idea of a circle is a throwback to olden days when people joined a circle to share and solve problems. Even families sit around the kitchen table talking about issues and solutions, she said.

Hahn is a financial life planner by trade, and she’s been involved in the implementation and planning of the WGC since the beginning.

“It’s an amazing group of women,” she said.

Hahn saw an announcement in the newspaper about the club and thought it sounded appealing. She came in at the ground level when it originally met to hash out the details. The members needed to figure out what the group wanted to focus on, if the community needed something like this and what their operating principles and guidelines would be. They also needed to decide how much membership would cost and if it would be an exclusive club.

Similar organizations around the country cost $1,000 to $2,000 to join.

But the founding members wanted the club to be accessible and inclusive of all women, so they set their membership fee at $100. Of that,

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Grant recipients at the 2012 annual meeting.

$75 goes into an annual giving fund, and $25 goes into an endowment fund that can generate interest. They also set their guidelines so that there is a minimum the endowment fund has to have before they can contribute to the annual giving fund.

The founding members thought it should take about three years to get the numbers up to that level, however they were thrilled when it only took them a year and a half.

Jennifer Shaver received a one-year membership prize.

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The shorter timeline was gratifying, but the group still needs new members.

The contributions from 272 members made $21,000 in grant funds possible, but the club received more than $100,000 in grant requests.

Hahn said the club’s primary purpose is to fund different programs to help women and children in the community, but the other part of it is reaching out to people who have not been involved in philanthropy before. People don’t think they can make a difference with

$100, but if you and a few hundred others come together, it can make a real difference.

She said they even offer gift cards now, so people can give a WGC membership as a gift for occasions such as Mother’s Day, a birthday or employee appreciation. The $100 gives membership to the club, and each member gets one vote in grant decisions.

The guiding circle, which is the president, vice president, secretary and committee chairwomen, meets five or six times a year to plan events, talk about membership and organization, and share feedback on how things are going.

General membership meets annually, and the club has a membership drive in the fall called Chicks with Checks. This year the Chicks with Checks event will be Sept. 20 at YES Cinema.

“We’re really excited for the event in September,” said marketing committee chairwoman Diane Doup.

It’s a time for women to come learn

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about the WGC, and there’s no pressure but instead just an opportunity to join. An outside social hour features food and drinks. Then they pop inside the theater for a short presentation and an update on the grants they’ve awarded.

But the highlight of the night is “our infamous prize time,” Doup said. Last year a lot of the women stayed downtown and went to dinner to make a whole evening of it, she said.

Once they join, the women can be as involved as they want to be.

“What’s nice about the organization is we know that everyone is busy,” Hahn said.

Some women just write a check and vote online for their favorite grant requests. And some women head committees or help with marketing.

Hahn said the grants committee takes its job very seriously. Member Kelly Geckler said the committee’s role is to filter the list of grants for members to look at.

They poll the members to find the four main areas they’d like to focus on. Last year it was self-sufficiency, early childhood education, women in crisis and parental support. The grant requests needed to meet at least one of those areas of focus to move on.

Then the grants are whittled down to a handful that will be further evaluated with site visits. Committee members go to the requesting organizations to find out more about their projects. The members then vote on the finalists by rating them in order of preference.

This year the awards process was a little different. The members voted online before the awards ceremony, and then all the finalists were invited. No one knew the results until their names were called. Some of the women came up on stage crying tears of joy.

Geckler said it was amazing to see the impact that her $100 had when it was pooled with the group.

“I really believe in the mission of our Women’s Giving Circle,” she said.

Doup said the group is all about giving back to the community, but in a really fun way.

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Busy Bees Academy

buzzing about grant

By Crystal Henry photo by thinkstock images Just because the kids are on summer vacation doesn’t mean their brains should be, too. Students can lose up to two months of information and skills they’ve learned over a school year if they have no summer reinforcement. And Busy Bees Academy is on a mission to help students avoid “the brain drain” with a little help from the Women’s Giving Circle.

Cathy King, director of Busy Bees Academy, said she works a lot with the Heritage Fund: the Community Foundation of Bartholomew County and found out through it about the Women’s Giving Circle. Busy Bees wanted to start a summer program to stimulate children’s minds over those months before school is back in session. So it applied for a grant from the Women’s Giving Circle.

WGC member Diane Doup said one reason she voted for the Busy Bees program is that it ensures that children receive early education opportunities. She said studies have proven how critical that age is developmentally. So she ranked the program as a priority.

Busy Bees Academy is a full-day, pre-kindergarten program that serves Bartholomew Consolidated School Corp. It currently has three locations working with 4-year-olds to prepare them for kindergarten. All the lead teachers are licensed and have at least a bachelor’s degree, with most possessing master’s degrees.

Each class consists of one lead teacher, two co-teachers and 15 students. The school has a project-based curriculum tailored to Indiana standards, and everyone is involved in choosing the projects.

A project-based curriculum focuses on the interests of students because the key for this age is engagement.

One of the projects the students chose was down-to-earth. They were interested in a big pile of dirt outside Taylorsville Elementary School, so their teacher organized lesson plans around that theme.

The children used math, science, biology and chemistry to find out what lives in the

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dirt; they conducted experiments mixing dirt with water; and they even made edible dirt in the kitchen with chocolate pudding.

They also started a small garden with the dirt.

The students also studied the ins and outs of the restaurant business, and they have a long-term organic gardening project as well.

They refurbished a run-down abandoned greenhouse with the help of Cummins volunteers, and a master gardener came to work with and advise them on building an organic garden.

The children are engaging their curiosity and learning all about the world around them.

The grant from the Women’s Giving Circle has made that possible.

“It was so wonderful,” King said. “The support they’ve given us to start this summer program has been amazing.”

Just three weeks in they could already see the benefits of having a summer program.

The exiting students are preparing for kindergarten, and the incoming students could be evaluated. The teachers can identify issues and find out where the children are educationally and socially. Then when school starts they can hit the ground running with those students.

King said they feel very fortunate to be a part of the WGC grant because the program wouldn’t have happened without their support. The grant helps to pay teacher salaries, supplies for the classroom, extended care and field trips.

The grants process gave the Busy Bees staff a chance to sit down and think about their summer program. They evaluated the needs of their students and families, and once they ironed out the details of the program, organizing them into a grant request was fairly easy, King said.

“We’re still building Busy Bees,” she said.

So they’ll take it one summer at a time and try to continue. She said if they’re eligible to apply for the grant next year, that’s just what they’ll do.

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by Kelsey Declue photos submitted and by Andrew Laker With all the technology that accompanies us throughout our daily lives, it seems like we’re always carrying a bag or toting a case from here to there. We have bags for our laptops, cases for our iPads, covers for our phones and holders for our e-readers. With all the money we’ve invested in personal media, this protection is essential and functional, but it doesn’t mean it can’t also be fashionable.

Check out these options provided by Thirty-One consultant Hope Groves and Lockett’s Ladies Shop.

Leather briefcase from Thirty-One Padded laptop case from Thirty-One

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E-reader case from Vera Bradley

Collapsible desk supplies tote with business card holder, from Thirty-One

Cosmetic pouch from Thirty-One Vera Bradley e-reader case

Vera Bradley personal organizer

All Vera Bradley items available at Lockett’s Ladies Shop.

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Smartphone and ID card wristlet from Vera Bradley

Vera Bradley notecards

Vera Bradley iPad cases

Vera Bradley laptop bag

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Vera Bradley iPhone soft and hard cases

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Mom, mommy, mama, mother – whichever variation you choose, they all mean the same thing and they all imply perhaps the biggest and most important role in a woman’s life once she chooses to accept it.

Whether a woman maintains a professional career or decides to stay at home, once she becomes a mother, it becomes her full-time job.

Motherhood can consume those in it, and once a mom, always a mom, whether your child is 5 months or 55 years old. It brings joys and pains, laughter and tears. It’s full of triumphs and mistakes. The job is constantly evolving, and once you think you’ve got it down, it throws a new curve your way. So what’s it like to be in the mind of a mom? We asked a few local mothers to give us a glimpse into their worlds, so with that, enjoy the mommy diaries …

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Dora

By Diana Gambaiani submitted photo

s I stand in the laundry room loading yet another pile of dirty clothes into the washing machine, the familiar strains of the “Dora the Explorer” theme song sound from the family room.

When my now 9-year-old son, Michael, was younger, we were more of a “Go, Diego, Go” family. But with the arrival of my daughter, Mia, three years ago, we’ve become well-versed in all things Dora. Going about my household chores as Mia is transfixed by the show, I begin to realize that Dora has got it all figured out. A lot of what Dora has to teach the preschool set has relevance to the biggest aspect of my life right now – parenting.

Have a Trusted Sidekick Much like Dora needs her best friend, Boots, to help her navigate the adventure of the day, I depend on my partner in this adventure called parenting. My husband, Tony, is my wingman every day. We consult each other on parenting issues, lean on each other for support, remind each other of who we were before we had children, rely on each other to pick up the slack, and most importantly, have fun together. A lot of times all you need at the end of the day is a hug and a smile from someone who knows exactly what you’re going through.

Consult Your Map Whenever Dora doesn’t know where to go, she pulls out the map from her ever-present backpack. Rather than an actual map, I consult the blueprint of the ones who came before me. This job of parenting has been around a long time. I’m fortunate to be able to benefit from the advice of my parents, my in-laws, my sisters, my friends and my children’s teachers. And oftentimes when all seems stacked against me, I rely on my faith.

These things combined have never failed to guide me through the hills and valleys that confront me daily as a parent.

Pack a Backpack Be prepared. When Dora is confronted with a particular challenge she checks the contents of her backpack Pag e 2 2

and always finds just what she needs. In my purse, which is large enough to be considered a backpack, I always carry the following things: baby wipes (even though my kids are no longer babies), Band-Aids, sunscreen, small toys to keep the kids occupied, snacks, batteries for when the electronics die at the most inopportune times, aspirin, and a camera to catch all the little moments that make me proud to be a parent.

Never Underestimate the Importance of Abuelos I noticed when Dora’s mom gave birth to twins recently, the grandparents started appearing in more episodes. Dora’s mother is smart. I have had to learn to ask for help. And lucky for me, my parents and in-laws are more than willing to provide it. When I first became a mother, I had a hard time admitting I couldn’t do it all and do it all perfectly. When baby No. 2 came along, that all went out the window. Nobody can do this alone. I realized being good enough is good enough. My children’s abuelos as well as the rest of our family members have been vital in the upbringing of our children. I’m grateful every day for their influence.

When All Else Fails, Sing On Dora’s show, when there’s a mess to be cleaned up, they sing the “Clean-Up Song” and everyone pitches in.

That Dora is on to something. I’ve noticed I get much more cooperation from my kids when I talk quietly or sing to them than when I yell. They seem to shut down when I raise my voice. There are times when it is very hard to keep myself in check, but if I sing, rather than scream, we all crack up and it breaks the tension. At the conclusion of every Dora episode she sings the “We Did It” song to celebrate the arrival of her group of friends at their desired destination. We all should learn to sing the praises of our children and ourselves – even if our biggest accomplishment is just making it through the day.

So as Dora would say, “¡Vámonos!” Let’s see what adventure tomorrow brings.

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By Kelly Glick submitted photo

ell, it has finally happened to me — my son decided during naptime that instead of sleeping he would reach into his dirty diaper and smear the contents on the walls, door, bedspread, his body and, of course, the carpet. As I am cleaning up this mess, after a quick showering of the boy, I wonder over and over why anyone would do this. Who knows? That is my usual response when my husband asks me why one of our kids is doing something incomprehensible.

My son, Ethan, is 2 years old; we also have a daughter, Sophie, who is 4, and a second son, Eli, who is 8 months. The day of the so-called “poo incident” was a mess mixed in with a string of other activities, including Ethan dumping a half-bag of powdered sugar on the kitchen floor. I am a stayat-home mom, and days like this are a test of will.

I’ve had quite a few friends who are working moms tell me they don’t know how I do it, and I definitely envy them some days – to go to an office full of adults seems a bit like heaven: Imagine the topics of adult conversation.

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By Kelly Fiorenza submitted photo

y kids drink a spinach smoothie every day. And they like it. Are they born gluttons for punishment? Do they have some weird genetic disposition that makes them veggie monsters? Nope … just normal kiddos, who love to eat their dessert, get mad when things don’t go their way and will try every excuse in the book to stay up later.

With the exception of raising my children to believe in a power greater than themselves, I believe the single most important thing I can do for my family is to set a healthy example. My father was the catalyst — he would exercise every morning. He then would pack up his backpack — rain, snow or sunshine — and make the commute to work via bicycle. We were taught that dessert is a wonderful end to a meal, provided we finished our vegetables. What he did was lay the groundwork for a healthy lifestyle. There was no talk of dieting or the latest method to “get abs fast.”

It was simply a healthy way to live.

My goal is the same for my children. When you lace up your running shoes or strap on the bike helmet, your kids

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are watching. When you make an effort to choose a glass of water over a soda or take time to have a decent breakfast, they will follow your example.

The other day I came home from one of my long bike rides and saw my son “practicing” for his triathlon. This meant jumping off the couch, doing a somersault and landing on our chaise. (This actually presented one of those parenting questions — technically he shouldn’t be jumping on our furniture, however it was pretty sweet that he was copying me in his own way.)

Some of my favorite mommy moments are the times when he decides he wants to run with me. For him, this means no shirt, sports shorts and one of my headbands. I tell him all the time that I look forward to the day he beats me. Of course, he thinks he can already do this.

There are unintended consequences, too, when you set a good example. The other day my son asked me if I was going to win the race I’m training for — I just laughed and

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continued from page 21 Potty training is a whole new ballpark this time around. My daughter picked it up at 26 months. My son is now refusing to use the toilet. Ethan was, at least, using it at one point, but now shows no interest, and I don’t see this strike ending anytime soon. Big sister Sophie has been really encouraging and helping him, but even with all this cheerleading (and special pee-pee candy rewards), he refuses. I am aiming to get there before he’s 3. All the things they say about boys versus girls when it comes to potty training are true.

This day and age our family of five is considered a large family; we are even going beyond that and talk-

told him, no. It gave me an opportunity to explain to him that this was not about winning anything — it was about setting goals for yourself and working hard to achieve them.

I am also able to demonstrate to him the value of practicing. My son absolutely believes he is going to be the world’s best soccer, baseball and basketball player. I can tell him to practice until I’m blue in the face and it might do some good, or I can go out and have “practice” on my own, make it fun and lead by example. It takes a good work ethic, and I’m proud to be able to pass that on to my children.

Now, regarding the spinach smoothie (because I know you were wondering) — anything tastes great if you add banana and some other fruit. Do yourself a favor — invest in a good blender and then go find some great fruits and vegetables. One little tip though … if the smoothie looks green, you might want to put it in a dark cup.

ing about a fourth child. My husband has always loved kids, and if he wasn’t as hands-on as he is, we probably would have had to stop at two, one for each of us.

It’s an adventure when the kids outnumber the adults.

Although we are in diapers still with two, we know as they grow older it will become a new type of crazy, but they’ll be using the toilet at least.

Every night you walk in to give them that last kiss before you head to bed, and you see them sleeping, and it makes you forget all the bad. You take a deep breath and say, “There’s always tomorrow.”

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By Gretchen Brand, as told to Kelsey DeClue submitted photo

wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do with my life until I became a mom. I mean I always wanted to get married and have a family, but when I had our first, Ellie, I realized in that instant that that is what I was supposed to do with my life – be a mom. It’s my number one priority. I like being called Ellie Brand’s mom or Harper Brand’s mom because that’s who I am first.

Each of my girls has taught me something different because they each have their own distinct personality. Ellie was my first, so I know now I over-spoiled her. I wanted everything to be perfect so I did everything for her.

Now Ellie is 10 years old, and it is such a joy to watch the independent person she has become. She is definitely the older sister. Amelia, 6, is my sports star. She’ll try anything, and she’s very competitive, but she’s also a jokester. In fact, one of her teachers last year told me that she’d been keeping a log of all the funny things that came out of Amelia’s mouth. Two-year-old Harper is my easy child. She’s very happy-go-lucky, but she has to hold her own with two older sisters so she learned to walk and talk early. Neither of her sisters speaks for her either; she’s very good at voicing her own opinions.

So, what are my lessons learned through motherhood?

There are certainly more than I can count or remember at this time, but here are some important ones. I have realized you should pick your battles. I remember when Ellie was little she always wanted to wear her pirate costume to the grocery store, but I didn’t want her to, and it was a constant battle. Finally I realized to let that one go. I let her wear it, and we turned the shopping cart into her pirate ship. She couldn’t get out of the shopping cart or the sharks would get her.

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You also have to respect your children. Don’t treat them like adults, but treat them with respect and they will respect you back. I hardly yell anymore because they respond so much better when I calmly explain what I want them to do (or not do).

Lastly, the times that you can just hang out and have quality time together are much more important than the big impressive trips, vacations or events. They just want to have your time and be with you. The girls and I do a craft every week, and we all participate. We make it something that they can all be a part of regardless of their age, and everyone has fun with it.

I also make sure each of the girls has individual time with me, and we can do whatever they want during that time.

Sometimes we go somewhere, and sometimes they just want to snuggle in bed with a book. It’s the time I get to talk with them, and they can ask me whatever they want.

Sure, we go to the zoo and we take family vacations, but the times they’ll remember most fondly are those little, everyday moments.

I work in treasury management support at First Financial Bank, but motherhood is my favorite job. When my children are all grown up, I’ll have all the time in the world to be Gretchen Brand, so now I cherish every single day and every moment as “mom.”

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Work, family and volunteering are child’s play for Jacque Douglas

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Ladies Shop

By Jennifer Willhite photos by Joe Harpring and Madeline hodek Jacque Douglas always aspired to teach and make a difference in children’s lives. The Columbus resident firmly believes in the value of helping one another, and she says giving to others and to the community increases a person’s quality of life.

It’s not hard to believe, then, the laundry list of educational endeavors and nonprofit work in which she is immersed. A former teacher and administrator, and the current director of special programs for Bartholomew Consolidated School Corp., Douglas combines her passion for children with her professional career and personal interests. She is also the director of Family School Partners and serves as a liaison for BCSC with the Foundation for Youth, thanks to her position on the FFY board.

“I am one who cannot sit still,” Douglas says. “So I have to keep myself busy.”

And, oh yes, she loves kids.

“I wanted to be a teacher since I was in second grade,” she says. “Part of it I attribute to my firstgrade teacher. Back then you had different reading groups, and (my teacher) would have me help with one of the reading groups while she was working with another one. I enjoyed doing that, and that probably was a key contributor to my interest in education.”

After earning a master’s in elementary education from Ball State University, she became a teacher in 1971 and went back to school in 1984 to obtain an administrative degree from Butler University. Douglas began calling Columbus home in 1998, when she moved to the city for a position as principal of Lincoln Elementary School. In 2004, she took the job as director of special programs. As part of her position, she oversees the Title I federal program, which offers additional funding for struggling students.

“I just love running into children I have interacted with,” she says. “I am truly happy to see them. I like to hear what they’ve been doing and how things are going for them.”

Douglas’ community involvement began soon after she arrived, when she served on the board of directors for Lincoln-Central Neighborhood Family Center. She also became involved with kidscommons and Childhood Connections, a child care resource and referral service for area parents seeking viable child care options.

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Top and above: Douglas with her grandchildren.

Douglas speaks with some FFY clients.

Impressed by the diverse opportunities in the city, Douglas says, she immediately thought it was a great place to live. The mother of two grown daughters says Columbus offers her five grandchildren, ages 4 to 11, tremendous opportunities and something different to do each time they visit.

“As someone coming to the community, you really appreciate – perhaps more than maybe someone who has lived here their entire life – being able to have these opportunities,” she says.

Among her most memorable experiences after arriving in the city was an opportunity to speak with architect Gunnar Birkerts. She recalls learning about his philosophy and thoughts behind the design of Lincoln Elementary School, adding it was an opportunity she would not have had in another setting.

In her position on the FFY board, Douglas serves alongside representatives from organizations like the Parks and Recreation Department. She describes the board’s work as a collective effort.

“It’s more about opportunities to collaborate and support one another,” she says.

For example, it is not financially feasible for the FounPag e 3 0

dation for Youth to afford buses to go to every school in the county to pick up children. Since the school corporation already has buses running to each school, having FFY as a stop on the bus route saves time and money.

According to Douglas, funding is the biggest challenge for anyone serving on the board of a nonprofit organization.

“There are so many quality not-for-profits in Columbus,” she says. “And everybody is vying for those dollars to maintain their programming.”

Her background as an educator and her ability to genuinely listen struck Pica Saddler, FFY resource development director, when the two met five years ago.

“Jacque’s complete commitment to our youth from early childhood to young adulthood is, indeed, remarkable,” says Saddler. “Although Jacque has a wealth of wisdom and experience to contribute and share, she understands her impact will be greater if she fully understands the situation.”

Douglas appreciates the importance of her role on the board. Aside from three large fundraising events held each year, there are regular meetings for which she must prepare. s h e m a g a z i n e • J u ly 2 0 1 2

“You need to do your homework before you go to those meetings,” Douglas says. “I think it is very important, that responsibility you have if you are voting, if you are making decisions. You need to make sure they’re informed decisions.”

Chuck Kime, executive director for the Foundation for Youth, recognizes her commitment as a board member.

He says part of what he first noticed was that she listened far more than she spoke.

“Nonprofit board members need to balance their role leading the business and caring for the mission,” says Kime. “Jacque is extremely well-informed about the issues our kids face and our community’s plans to help them. She uses her wisdom to keep kids at the forefront of our decisions.”

When the business day is over, board meetings are concluded and fundraisers are finished, Douglas enjoys spending time with her family and exploring Columbus with her grandchildren. The Colts fan also enjoys reading and cultivating her flower garden.

Her philosophy of life is simple. “When you care about others,” she says, “it’s tenfold the return that you receive in giving.”

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Teen goes from homeless to Harvard

By Steve Lyttle | McClatchy Newspapers

AWNDALE, N.C. — Dawn Loggins returned from a prestigious academic camp last summer and discovered her parents had abandoned her.

So she did the only thing she knew.

She adjusted.

She went to live with a friend’s mother. She took a part-time job as the custodian at her school, starting work at 6 a.m., two hours before classes began at Burns High.

She carried toothpaste, toothbrush, shower soap and shampoo in her bag, because taking a shower was a matter of opportunity.

Federal studies estimate 1.4 million students in the United States are homeless. Officials at Burns High say about a half-dozen of their 1,100 students are without a home.

Studies show many homeless students drop out, sometimes turning to crime. A few make it to college.

Dawn Loggins is going to Harvard.

“There were a lot of things outside Dawn’s control,” says Robyn Putnam, a counselor at Burns High and one of many people who have tried to fill the gap left by parents who weren’t there. “But Dawn learned that succeeding in school was something she could control.”

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Loggins, 18, has beaten the odds.

Her story has attracted national attention. But speaking of her high school graduation, Loggins says, “It’s not the end for me — just another step.”

She has reached this point despite:

1.

Having to study by candlelight and by wearing an overcoat on nights when the power had been turned off at her family’s home.

2.

Dealing with the embarrassment of wearing the same dress to school several days in a row in middle school, going days without a shower, and walking with her older brother to the town park with buckets, to get water from the public spigots.

3.

Moving from house to house, from school to school, frequently adjusting to new surroundings and classmates.

“This might seem strange,” she says, “but I love my parents. My mother, in her way, believes she did the best for us. My stepfather tried to support us. My grandmother taught me

a lot. They meant well.”

She and her brother, Shane, now 19, lived with her grandmother until Dawn was 12. Then her mother and stepfather took over.

“As soon as that happened, we started moving around,” she says.

“At first, things were good. My stepdad had a job, and the house was clean.”

But then, Loggins says, her stepfather lost his job. That started a cycle of problems, as the family moved from house to house, dealing with the utilities being cut off for nonpayment, and then the evictions. She and Shane missed several months of the 2009-10 academic year, before her mother finally enrolled her at Burns High in March 2010.

“She was behind, academically,” Putnam says. “She had to take classes online, but she caught up.”

Those online courses prevented Loggins from enrolling in Advanced Placement classes and earning extra academic points. It’s the reason she ranked about 10th in her senior class, despite having straight A’s.

During that sophomore year, the family’s personal belongings were auctioned off. That cost Loggins many of her childhood belongings, she says. But the junior year was

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one of achievement, capped by an appointment to Governor’s School last summer in Raleigh, N.C. Putnam drove Loggins to the camp and brought her back home when it was finished. Loggins says she tried calling her parents near the end of camp, but their phone service had been cut off.

“When she returned,” Putnam says, “the parents were gone.”

Shane moved in with friends in Hickory, N.C., and graduated from high school there, having received a college scholarship himself.

Dawn says she later learned her parents had moved to Tennessee. Initially, she stayed at friends’ houses, sleeping on their couches. But with the help of Putnam and others, Loggins found a temporary home with a friend’s mother, Sheryl Kolton, custodian at Burns Middle School.

“Sheryl gave me stability,” Loggins

says. “Because of her, I could stay at Burns. There wasn’t the drama of another school change.”

A dental office supplied Loggins with a lot of personal belongings, and others in the community stepped in.

So it was with college. Loggins was accepted at UNC Chapel Hill. But Carol Rose, a volunteer who had helped Loggins fill out college applications, asked her, “Why not aim high?”

Rose told her to try for Harvard. The acceptance letter arrived about two months ago. Accompanied by her boss, Burns High custodian Junie Barrett, she visited the Ivy League campus recently.

“I wondered how I’d be accepted, being homeless and from a rural area in North Carolina,” she says. “But everyone — the students and faculty — was great.”

Putnam says Harvard “won’t let

Dawn Loggins fail. In some ways, she’s better off there than at a bigger public school. It’s like it was here at Burns — Dawn will have a community, ready to help her.”

Loggins will have grants and will get an on-campus job to pay her tuition, books, room and board. She says she isn’t worried about taking the step from an 1,100-student school to an academic powerhouse in the shadows of Boston.

“I’ve had to work to get where I am,” she says. “I think everything that happened to me was preparing me for what’s to come.”

She is grateful for the help from her community but says she wants to make it on her own.

“In my family, I saw people taking advantage of one another,” she says. “I don’t want to take advantage of anyone. I just want a chance to succeed.

And I’ll have that at Harvard.”

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cuisine

Get crackin’

Try lobster for a different summer cookout

By Gretchen McKay | Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Photos by Scripps howard news service Summer cooking often means a traditional backyard barbecue — can you smell the burgers and chicken sizzling on the grill?

Yet it’s also a great time to think about fresh, hard-shell lobster, even if the closest you’ll get to the cold waters of the northern Atlantic is a dip in an unheated swimming pool.

The majority of lobsters harvested in Maine are caught between late June and late December, as warmer air and water make it easier to set and haul traps. So chances are your local grocer over the next few months will have an ample supply of the 10-legged crustaceans, prized by landlubbers and sea lovers alike for their delicate, sweet meat.

What? The mere thought of killing your own food makes you queasy? Or maybe you’re old school and think lobster — admittedly one of

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your pricier food choices — is just for special occasions.

A versatile food that can be steamed, boiled or grilled, lobster almost always arrives in today’s kitchens live.

If you hold the drawn butter or mayonnaise, lobster actually has fewer calories and less fat than lean beef, poached eggs or roasted, skinless chicken breast (just 135 calories per 150 grams).

It’s best to cook it the day you buy it, but live lobsters can survive in your fridge for a day or so — if you don’t mind something wiggling in a box next to the veggies.

And if you can’t get past the whole cookas-executioner thing? Most fish and grocery stores will do the deed for you. Better yet, confront your fears with a cooking class.

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LOBSTER GRILLED PIZZA This is an extremely rich dish that borders on the sweet. If you don’t have the time or desire to make your own pizza crust, consider purchasing premade pizza-dough balls. You also can substitute a high-quality flatbread.

1 cup lukewarm water

1½ cups creme fraiche

2 teaspoons dry yeast

2 teaspoons white truffle oil (or less, according to taste)

1 tablespoon sugar 2½ cups flour

2 teaspoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon salt

1 red pepper, diced small

2 teaspoons olive oil, plus additional for grilling

½ cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

3 scallions, sliced thin

1 whole lobster, cooked, meat removed and diced To make pizza crust, combine water, yeast and sugar and allow yeast to bloom. Add flour, salt and olive oil, then knead until dough is smooth and silky. Cover with a towel and let rise for 30 minutes.

While dough is rising, combine lobster meat with creme fraiche, truffle oil and lemon juice. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

Separate dough into 4 balls and roll out to ¼-inch thick. Rub dough with olive oil and season, if desired, with salt and pepper.

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Place dough on a hot grill for 3 to 5 minutes per side and grill until crust is baked and grill marks are achieved. Top grilled crusts with lobster spread, peppers, scallions and grated cheese. Finish pizza under a broiler for 3 minutes, or until cheese is melted and top is bubbly. Slice and serve.

Makes 4 individual pizzas.

s h e m a g a z i n e • J u ly 2 0 1 2

Associated Press

CLASSIC LOBSTER ROLLS

There are as many versions of the classic lobster roll as there are lobster shacks. But all hold this in common: the bun has to be a buttered and grilled “top loader.” ½ gallon water ¼ cup kosher salt 4 live lobsters (about 1½ pounds each) 1½ cups mayonnaise 3 tablespoons lemon juice 6 top-loading hot-dog buns 3 tablespoons unsalted butter ¼ cup finely chopped fresh tarragon ¼ cup finely chopped fresh parsley ¼ cup finely chopped fresh chervil

To prepare lobsters, fit a large heavy pot or standard clam-steamer pot with water and salt. Set over high heat and bring to a boil.

Place the lobsters in the pot and cover tightly. Boil for 14 minutes. Remove pot from heat and carefully pour lobsters and water into a deep sink or colander. Cover with ice for about 10 minutes. Take the meat out of the shell.

Cut the lobster meat and place in a bowl.

Toss with mayonnaise and lemon juice.

Slather the outside of the rolls with the butter and quickly grill on both sides either in a skillet or on an outdoor grill. Fill the grilled rolls with the lobster salad. Combine the herbs, mix well and sprinkle over the salad.

Serve immediately.

Makes 6 servings.

¼ cup finely chopped fresh chives

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Thinkstock photo

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GRILLED LOBSTER WITH SPICED BUTTER ¼ cup butter, softened 1 teaspoon ground mace 6 drops vanilla extract Juice of 1 lemon 4 1½-pound hard-shell lobsters 2 tablespoons canola oil

For spiced butter, combine butter, mace, vanilla and lemon juice in a small bowl. Keep at room temperature.

Pre-cook lobsters by bringing a large pot of salted water to a boil. Put the lobsters in the water head first. Cook lobsters for about 2 minutes, then remove.

Remove the claws from each lobster and put them back in the pot with the heat off, and allow them to sit for 5 minutes, as the claws need more time to cook than the delicate tails.

Cut each lobster in half lengthwise by placing the tip of a large knife where the body meets the tail.

Pierce through the body and then rock the knife toward you to cut through the body. Repeat the same action in the opposite direction to finish cutting in half.

Remove the small sack inside the head with your fingers. Also remove the light green tomalley.

Remove the claws from the water and crack the shells. You can remove the meat entirely or leave on the claw tips to make it easier to eat.

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If using a charcoal grill, prepare a large, hot fire with the coals in the center of the grill. Brush grill with oil. Place lobster bodies, 2 halves at a time, directly over the coals, cut side down. Do not move the lobster halves after this if they contain coral (egg sack), as it is very delicate. The lobsters will cook in about 5 minutes, depending on the heat of the grill.

If using a gas grill, brush grill with oil, place lobsters cut side down over the hottest flame possible and cook for about 3 minutes. Reduce heat to low and turn the lobsters, cut side up, and continue cooking until the tail is cooked through, about another 5 minutes.

Using a large spatula, transfer lobsters from the grill to a platter. While body is cooking, the claws can be rewarmed on another part of the grill.

As soon as the lobster is on the platter, brush with a little of the spiced butter; it will baste the meat and collect in the shell. Serve immediately.

Serves 4.

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n o k c o r

By Andrew Larson What do men do on man trips? What topics do they discuss? How do they cope with the void left by their female counterparts? What do they do with their dirty dishes? Do they change their underwear? These are the burning questions to which female readers deserve answers. Well, here you are.

I am just back from Bonnaroo 2012, along with my cohort of three other members of the male species. For readers who are unaware, Bonnaroo, located on a 700-acre farm in central Tennessee, is the most massive music lover’s candy shop imaginable. For four days, the farm is transformed into a city of 80,000 people whose collective goal is to rock as hard and as long as the body will withstand. A sea of tents and RVs surrounds the festival location, where from 1 p.m. until dawn, live music from over a hundred bands of every possible description is pumped through the heat, dust, sweat and stench of humanity. It is beautiful.

Naturally, the festival is a haven for music lovers of both genders, but for the four years I’ve attended, my company has been all men. My second son was an infant the first time we went, and even then, we were well above the median age of festival attendees; suffice it to say that now, we’re well beyond the bell curve. But, as they say, 30s are the new 20s, and this is never more evident than at an event like Bonnaroo.

Many are the unprepared who lack adequate protection from the intense southern sun and often violent thunderstorms. When winds pick up, tents are lifted like kites across the vast patchwork of colorful nylon and sometimes sent to another neighborhood. Many young music fans mistake the music as a substitute for other physiological necessities, like water. “Diamondbacks” (mainly males of the 20-something category) refuse to allow another to put sunscreen on their bare backs and thus leave a diamond-shaped region of their middle back unprotected from the sun, with often horrific results. Others overindulge and pass out, missing their favorite bands. In short, to enjoy Bonnaroo, you need to come prepared with a good plan and execute it well.

My Wolfpack, as I like to call my them, believes that we, as males with more life experience and wisdom, represent the faction of Bonnaroovians viewed by others as experts. Planning begins months in advance, lists are made and items checked off (and few are forgotten). All of the gear for our group of four fits comfortably on two garden carts and in three backpacks. Upon our arrival at 3 a.m. on Thursday, we hiked the one mile to the tent-only area (prime real

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s h e m a g a z i n e • J u ly 2 0 1 2

viewfrommars

J u ly 2 0 1 2 • s h e m a g a z i n e

hotos d Press p Associate

estate at Bonnaroo) and had our campsite established on a quiet side street by sunrise. And yes, for our group (average age 39) to have traveled all night and gotten just a couple of hours of sleep in hot tents as the sun climbed in the east felt a bit like a miscalculation that only a 20-something would make. Lucky for us, we had a good game plan.

Of particular importance are the details of food and drink. Of all of the various items for sale at the festival grounds, at summer’s peak in Tennessee none is more important (and futile) than ice. The ice trucks that set up shop are busy all day every day, but most of the ice purchased is gone by the time the inexperienced get back to their distant coolers. Our goods, though, are never at risk of warming or spoiling, thanks to the miracle which is solid carbon dioxide (aka dry ice). While others subsist on apples, beef jerky or suspect food from vendors, we feast on steaks, steamed asparagus, fajitas, bacon, eggs and whatever else we fancy. And if the food stays so cold, just imagine how cold the beer is. And if the beer is ice cold in the peak heat of summer, just imagine how much money could be made (hypothetically speaking, of course) selling it to the festival patrons walking by at a steady stream all day long, especially if (hypothetically) two members of your Wolfpack are professional salespeople.

All of that time spent at the campsite from sunrise until early afternoon is part of the process. Namely, conserving energy for the real reason we came. Music starts in early afternoon on five different stages. As the day progresses, the bands become more well-known and the crowds get bigger, to peak during the headline act in the evening. For the young and/or die-hard, the music continues with latenight sets that extend until dawn.

It’s impossible to see and hear it all at Bonnaroo; there is simply too much going on at one time. This is the portion of the experience where the best plan is often to not have a very rigid plan. Many of my favorite Bonnaroo memories are from the surprise acts that I had never heard of before, like the time we stumbled upon The Hold Steady, a band that remains a favorite to this day; it seemed that every 20-something kid in the audience knew every word and was trading lines with front man Craig Finn for the entire two-hour set. On a typical day this year, we saw two young and infectiously energetic bluegrass bands (The Infamous Stringdusters and Trampled by Turtles), followed by one of the bluegrass greats (Sam Bush), a fledgling rock band that almost brought us to tears (Dawes), one of my all-time favorites (Radiohead) and a late-night taste of classic hard rocker Alice Cooper. Just another day at Bonnaroo … and there were two equally phenomenal days of music after that.

Now I can’t speak for all man trips that occur. What I can say about ours, though, is that the collective passion for music shared by the 80,000 people at Bonnaroo is an irresistible draw for those of us who couldn’t go a day without music any sooner than we could go a day without oxygen.

Bonn aroo crow d an d Ra dioh ead

Any escape that allows such complete immersion in one’s passion is bound to result in returning to real life a better person, more able to give attention to families and obligations. As for what we talked about during all of those hours together, it was mostly about music. There was a brief moment or two where we discussed work. We talked a lot about refining our craft of being wise, old Bonnaroovians.

Mostly, we just relished the time free of earthly obligations.

As for the other questions: Did we miss our families? We did. Did we do our own dishes? We did. Did we change our underwear? We did.

Will we go back? We will.

Andrew Larson is a teacher at New Tech High School and lives in Columbus with his wife and three boys.

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Landscape logic The last three summers have resulted in extremely dry and hot months. Without supplemental watering many landscape plants will die prematurely or become prime candidates for insect pests, such as wood borers. It’s vitally important to water trees during dry periods in order to main-

tain good sap flow. Also, mulching under the tree can reduce competition from other plants and provide a more root-friendly environment.

— Extension educator Mike Ferree

Recommended reading “Falling Together,” by Marisa de los Santos. $12.99 What if saying hello to an old friend meant saying goodbye to life as you know it?

It’s been six years since Pen Calloway watched her best friends walk out of her life. And through the birth of her daughter, the death of her father, and the vicissitudes of single motherhood, she has never stopped missing them.

Pen, Cat, and Will met on their first day of college and formed what seemed like a

magical and lifelong bond, only to see their friendship break apart amid the realities of adulthood. When, after years of silence, Cat--the bewitching, charismatic center of their group--e-mails Pen and Will with an urgent request to meet at their college reunion, they can’t refuse. But instead of a happy reconciliation, what awaits is a collision of past and present that sends Pen and Will, with Pen’s five-year-old daughter and Cat’s hostile husband in tow, on a journey across the world..

— Viewpoint Books

Healthy habits Choose water! A 20-ounce soda contains 16 teaspoons of sugar and zero nutritional value. Sodas can also drain your body of vital hydration, so next time you’re looking to

quench your thirst (an especially in the summer heat) choose water over sugary soda.

— Reach Healthy Communities of Bartholomew County

Beauty bits If nail polish has left your fingernails stained or yellowed, try rubbing a drop of lemon juice or lavender oil on the nails and buff out the stain.

— beauty.about.com Pag e 4 2

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