Parent December 2012

Parent Columbus

December 2012 - January 2013

family resolutions • just go to sleep • friendly advice

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Parent Columbus

Also inside Calendar of events. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Angie Yoder column. . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Christie Hurt column . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Jennifer Tchida column. . . . . . . . . 20 Kids’ craft. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

2012’s best toys, page 8

Sleepless in Columbus, page 14

Goals for new year, page 10

Take my advice, page 18

Comments should be sent to Doug Showalter, The Republic, 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201 or call 812-379-5625 or dshowalter@ therepublic.com. Advertising information: Call 812-379-5652. ©2012 by Home News Enterprises All rights reserved. Reproduction of stories, photographs and advertisements without permission is prohibited. Stock images provided by © Thinkstock.

Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 3

Calendar of events December

6

, 13, 20 — Candlelight Shopping.

5 to 8 p.m., Washington Street. Enjoy

holiday lights and displays while finding specials at your favorite downtown shops.

Participating retailers will have special guests and festive treats/drinks.

7

— Free Family Fun Time.

Kidscommons. Free museum ad-

mission 4 to 6 p.m. Join special guest Phil from the Columbus Indiana Philharmonic. Information: 378-3046.

7

— Santa’s Workshop. 6:30 to 8 p.m., Donner Center. Hands-on

p.m., The Commons. Free. This one-man

tradition for almost 200 years. Explore

musical comedy is a high-energy show for

the background of this treat, make a bag

kids of all ages. Information: 376-2539 or

of mix and decorate a cookie to take

caac@artsincolumbus.org.

home. Information: www.bartholome-

9

whistory.org.

— Columbus City Band holiday concert. Free. 2 p.m., The

Commons.

9

— Columbus Indiana Philharmonic’s Home for the

Holidays. 3 and 7 p.m., Columbus North High School auditorium. Admission starting at $10. The Philharmonic Orchestra and Children’s Choir join in the celebration. Choose from an afternoon family-oriented concert or the traditional

Christmas crafts, games, prizes and

evening concert. Information: 376-2638,

snacks. All children must be accom-

ext. 110 or email: tickets@thecip.org.

panied by an adult. $1 per person.

15

Information: 376-2680.

7

— Old National Bank’s First Fridays For Families — Babaloo. 6

— Saturday Sampler: The Gingerbread Man. 11 a.m.,

15

-16 “The Nutcracker.” Presented

by Dancers Studio. 2:30 p.m.,

Judson Erne Auditorium at Columbus North High School. Tickets are $10 for students and $15 for adults at the door, with a dollar off both prices if purchased in advance. Tickets are available at kidscommons and Donner Center.

21

—All Aboard: Holiday Fun with the Polar Express. 6 to 8

p.m., kidscommons. Registration deadline is Dec. 17. Maximum 125 people.

To register: 378-3046 or email educator@kidscommons.org. Cost: Free for museum members, $2 for non-member

Bartholomew County History Center, 524

children and $1 for non-member adults.

Third St. Gingerbread has been a holiday

Registration is required. Come in your

Columbus Indiana Philharmonic’s annual holiday concert with the Children’s Choir will be Dec. 9.

4 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

II grant awarded by the Heritage Fund.

Information: 378-3046.

5

— Princess Ball. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” 6 to 8 p.m., Red carpet from 5 to 6. Foundation for Youth, 405 Hope Ave. Cost: $20 per couple, $10 each additional princess. Father/daughter dance — ages 3 and older. Moms are invited to the red carpet event and will play the role of the paparazzi as the girls are introduced and escorted across the red carpet into the ball. Information: 372-7867.

6 Babaloo will be featured Dec. 7 in Old National Bank’s First Fridays For Families concert at The Commons. pajamas ready for a train ride to the North Pole, complete with hot chocolate, reindeer crafts and a jingly surprise.

Participate in museum-wide activity stations, while learning interesting locomotive facts and enjoying model trains.

21

— Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Kidscommons will be open this Monday and have interactive activities honoring King. Themed programs will occur at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Information: 378-3046.

31

— New Year’s Eve at Noon.

Kidscommons. Celebrate the start of 2013. The party starts at noon and will have a countdown with an explosive finale. Throughout the day you can create a party hat and make your resolutions. Information: 378-3046.

31

— New Year’s Comedy Showcase with Drew Hastings. Yes Cinema. 7 and 9:30 p.m., Admission: $20 advance, $25 door.

Information: 379-1630.

January

4

— Old National Bank’s First Fridays For Families — Jason Huneke. 6 p.m., The Commons. Free.

Well-known for his Michael Jackson dance routine from “America’s Got Talent,” it’s Huneke’s comedy and jug-

— Drinking Straw Day. Kidscommons. The drinking straw was patented in January 1888, and there is no end to fun with this simple tool.

Special straw activities at 1:30, 2:30 and 3:30 p.m. and ongoing art projects that use straws, of course. Information: 3783046.

25 The Bartholomew County History Center will present a program on gingerbread men Dec. 15. gling that set him apart from the rest.

Information: 376-2539 or caac@artsincolumbus.org.

4

— Free Family Fun Time.

Kidscommons. Free museum admis-

sion 4 to 6 p.m. Taste of India: In partnership with the Bartholomew County History Center, we will learn all about India. Crafts, food sampling, music and more. This program is sponsored through the Welcoming Communities

— Staying Fit Day. Kidscommons. Even though it may be too cold to play outside, it is not an excuse to be couch potatoes. At 11 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. we will have an active Little Explorers program and at 3:30 we will do a program for big brother and sister to get in on the action. Information: 378-3046.

27

— The Republic Bridal Fair.

Noon to 4 p.m., The Commons.

Free event with 50 vendors, prizes.

February

2

— The Phil Presents “Live from New York!” 7:30 p.m., Columbus North High School auditorium. Enjoy Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 5

music from “Lion King” and “Les Miserables” plus the cool jazz sound of Charlie Parker. It will be an evening of Broadway music, hot jazz and beautiful songs with Marja and Chasten Harmon and Cam Collins. Admission: Starting at $12. Information: 376-2638, ext. 110; email tickets@thecip.org.

10

— American Girl Doll Day. 1 to 4 p.m., Donner Center. For ages 5 to 10. Cost is $20. Bring your doll to Mardi Gras Magic. We’ll make a variety of items for you and your doll.

Information: 376-2680.

15

— Mad Scientists. Hands-on science fun for the whole family.

6:30 to 8 p.m., Donner Center. $1 per person (all children must be accompanied by an adult). Information: 376-2680.

16

Kidscommons presents “All Aboard: Holiday Fun with the Polar Express” Dec. 21.

-24 — Columbus Canstruction.

Free. 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., Fair Oaks Mall. Teams compete to design and build objects made from thousands of canned foods. While showcasing their talents, teams will be donating hundreds of thousands of pounds of food to fight hunger. Information: 376-7468 or info@ paragonme.net.

17

— Columbus Symphony Orchestra: The Elements Aligned (family concert). 3:30 p.m., Columbus North High School auditorium. Featuring Emma Peters, violin.

Ongoing MOMSNext provides fellowship, support and friendship to mothers of elementaryage children. Meetings are twice a month throughout the school year from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Grace Lutheran Church.

Information: 372-4859.

Hamilton Center Ice Arena. 25th Street and Lincoln Park Drive. Admission: child (5-17) $3.50; adult (18 and older) 6 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

Jason Huneke will perform Jan. 4 in Old National Bank’s First Fridays For Families at The Commons.

$4; 4 and younger free. Skate rental $2.

Information: 376-2686.

Kidscommons. 309 Washington St., climbing wall and wonderland of discovery, education and imagination for children up to age 14. Hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday; 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday. Closed Monday. Admission is $6. Information: 378-3046.

Bartholomew County Public Library.

Story time sessions and other children’s activities: barth.lib.in.us.

Foundation for Youth. 405 Hope Ave. For a complete schedule of activities: foundationforyouth.com.

Columbus Gymnastics Center. 405 Hope Ave. Classes and open gym for children. Information: 376-2545.

Canstruction will take place from Feb. 16 to 24 at Fair Oaks Mall.

Meeting the newborn, pediatric and adolescent healthcare needs of families for over 37 years.

We are accepting new patients Newborn Care • Check Ups Well Child Exams Sports/Daycare/Camp Physicals/Doctors on call 24/7 Accepting new Medicaid Same day appointments for illnesses Walk-in hours Mon–Sat 7:30–9:00 a.m. (for established patients only)

1120 N. Marr Rd. • 812-376-9219 • www.columbuspeds.com Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 7

Good Housekeeping picks

top toys for the holidays

Hexbug Hive Habitat Set

N

ot all the testers for Good Housekeeping’s annual Best Toys list wear lab coats. Some are barely out of diapers. For its 2012 list, engineers reviewed hundreds of toys for safety and educational merits. But the true test comes from 140 kids, ages 3 to 13, who play with the top 135 new toys at the magazine’s product-testing laboratory in New York.

There are more price-conscious choices under $25 to choose from this year, according to the Good Housekeeping Research Institute, along with toys that teach, including robotics for very young children and sophisticated art projects and models for older kids. Others fall into the category of back-to-basics, abandoning tech in favor of more open-ended play.

Techno Source Glow Crazy Doodle Dome

Playmates Shellraiser

“Parents can feel confident that our winners are safe, fun and encourage creativity, imagination and problemsolving skills,” said Rosemary Ellis, editor in chief of Good Housekeeping.

The winners of Good Housekeeping’s 2012 Best Toy Awards are:

• Ages 3 and up: Hexbug Hive Habitat Set ($35) has mechanical bugs running through a customizable maze.

Techno Source Glow Crazy Doodle Dome ($20) is a tent that allows children to draw on the walls with a green light wand.

• Ages 4 and up: T.S. Shure ArchiQuest Architectural Elements ($30) is a set of wooden blocks “in fresh shapes and bright hues.”

Playmates Shellraiser ($35) is a car for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ($10 each).

8 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

Moose Toys Fortune Cookie Maker

Jakks Pacific Power Trains Auto Loader City

• Ages 5 and up: Moose Toys Fortune Cookie Maker ($25) lets kids make their own fortunes and cookies with a little help from the microwave.

Jakks Pacific Power Trains Auto Loader City ($40) has a five-car train and 18 feet of track for “an affordable alternative to die-cast models.”

• Ages 6 and up: Moose Toys Micro Chargers Loop Track ($20) has fast-charging cars that shoot through a stunt track.

Moose Toys Micro Chargers Loop Track

Crayola Marker Airbrush ($25) uses markers to create spray paint-style art.

Lego Friends Adventure Camper ($30) creates a motor home with dolls, bikes and a surfboard.

• Ages 7 and up: Techno Source Codee ($8) is a twistable chain of blocks that can be made into creatures like a bright flamingo or robot.

Playmobil E-Rangers Headquarters ($130) has a swiveling LED spotlight and a working solar panel.

• Ages 8 and up: Lego Friends Adventure Camper

Silverlit Porsche 911 Carrera ($80) is a replica of the sports car that can be steered by iPhone.

Kids can create colorful domino-type patterns with Colorfall from Marbles: The Brain Store ($45).

Wild Planet Night Sight ($40) is head-mounted infrared night-vision goggles.

Hasbro’s Bop It! Smash ($23) has players trying to hit a moving light

• Ages 9 and up: K’Nex Atomic Coaster ($71) is a motorized ride for dueling cars that requires assembly of more than 1,000 pieces.

Techno Source Codee

• Ages 10 and up: Ravensburger 3D Building Set ($26) is a puzzle kit to create replicas of famous sites like the Eiffel Tower or the Empire State Building.

— The Associated Press Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 9

photo by Doug Showalter

Andy and Alesha Thompson and family have resolved to eat healthier meals.

Clockwise from Andy’s left are Spencer, 13; Samantha, 8; Eric, 5; and Clark, 10.

L Resolved: Put family first New Year is perfect time to work on goals

By Brenda Showalter

ife can be a whirlwind this time of year with school activities, work responsibilities, holiday shopping and family get-togethers. Sometimes families just need to slow down to spend quality time together and think about their goals and priorities for the year ahead.

For adults, making New Year’s resolutions provides time to consider what they want to accomplish. Maybe they want to lose weight, quit smoking or start a savings plan.

But families also can use this time to create joint and individual goals that they can work on together while offering each other support and encouragement. Kidfriendly goals might be as simple as preschoolers picking up their toys each day to teenagers getting more sleep on school nights.

A family might set a goal of having more dinners together during the week, watching less television or

10 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

finding ways to participate in physical fitness activities as a group.

Ray Morris, a marriage and family therapist at Columbus Regional Hospital, said when a family sets resolutions together, it gives parents and children extra incentive to stick to their goals. He suggests a process that begins with everyone sitting down together to discuss how they want to make improvements in the New Year.

“Everyone needs to participate to help generate ideas, but parents do have veto power,” Morris said, explaining that having pizza for dinner every night, of course, would be a bad idea.

The second step would be to keep a list of the resolutions on the refrigerator or other common location in the home so the goals can be regularly reviewed. A good time might be around the dinner table.

“Every two to three weeks, go over the list and have each person comment on or make a statement on how they are doing,” Morris said. “If they are not doing well, parents can offer gentle suggestions and reminders.”

He also recommends adding to the list throughout the year as new goals are made and to not give up if by March family members are not living up to their resolutions.

“Be kind and gentle with each other,” Morris said, adding that parents can serve as good role models if they are stumbling on their resolutions. “You can say, ‘I’m not doing well, but I’m going to work at it more.’”

Making time for family Alesha Thompson of Columbus and her husband, Andy, like the idea of making resolutions with their children, ages 5, 8, 10 and 13.

“We as a family always try to improve what we do, so for the New Year, we make family goals,” Thompson said.

A time when they will discuss resolutions is on Mondays when they schedule Family Home Evenings.

This is the day when they focus on being together without distractions of phones, computers or televisions.

Occasionally, they plan a movie night.

This special time allows them to talk about their goals, but also to play games, exercise and just have fun together.

“It’s a big deal for us,” said Thompson, a stay-at-home mom. Andy is an information technology strategy director for Cummins Inc.

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“We also have a lesson. It might be about loving each other or serving others,” said Thompson. As Mormons, Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 11

Rethinking the rules Simplify the family calendar.

Take a good look at your current family schedule and all the activities that eat up your time. Rank your priorities and start to consider what you can let go. Invite your kids into this process so that all of you can start to understand how you value your time.

One structured activity per child.

If possible, try to adopt a one activity per child policy in your family. This means that swimming, music and foreign language lessons can happen, but not all at once.

Such a rule can also help children prioritize and decide which sport or lesson means the most to them.

Schedule your free time.

One of the best ways to ensure free time is to schedule it into your calendar like everything else. For example, if you want your kindergartner to have unstructured playtime two or three afternoons a week, make sure you mark those times in the calendar.

Declare family hangout days.

If wearing your pajamas until noon on Saturday sounds fun for everyone in your family, make it happen.

Establish a traditional weekly hangout day or half day for your family. The main thing is to own your family time and not let anything else encroach upon it.

Go outside more often.

In the book, “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder,” Richard Louv urges parents to let their kids roam freely outdoors, where natural spontaneous play and creativity can blossom. Calling for a “nature-child reunion,” Louv makes a powerful case for back-to-basics like puddle jumping and mud pies.

Source: Education.com 12 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

family goals also include daily prayer and scripture reading.

Other resolutions she wants to incorporate in their lives for 2013 are exercising more as a family and eating healthier.

Thompson has tried to keep charts and lists in the past to help track goals and resolutions, but sometimes maintaining them has been difficult. One of her goals for 2013 is to do a better job so family goals can be reviewed periodically.

Mary Garvey, child and family specialty services coordinator at Centerstone in Columbus, said parents show their support for their children by involving them in decision-making and goal-setting. Having parents and siblings acknowledge a child’s input into how the family will work toward a common goal throughout the coming year honors the child and defines expectations, she said.

Melissa Newland, clinic coordinator at Centerstone, which provides community-based behavioral health care, said having the entire family participate in the resolution process also can be a great bonding time.

“It can help everyone know more about what is important to each family member,” Newland said. “It can help children learn to listen respectfully to the interests and needs of others. It can help each family member feel important.”

The resolutions themselves also are important, she added. Deciding to have more family meals together, for example, allows for more time together and can result in stronger relationships.

“Family dinners or family gathering time take planning, cooperation and work,” Newland said. “Your kids might protest a new routine, at least at first. That’s OK. They will likely come to love it.”

Resolutions can range from simple to complex, but the more specific the better, Morris suggested. And even young children can participate.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends resolutions for preschoolers, such as putting away toys, brushing their teeth, washing their hands and not teasing family pets.

Teenagers, who might be reluctant to participate in the family resolution-making process, can choose less violent video games, resist peer pressure for drugs and alcohol and not use their cellphones while driving, according to the academy.

And an academy recommendation for 5- to 12-yearolds is one everyone could aim for: Be nice to others.

Angie Yoder Boys don’t need words to win hearts

O

K, it seems like a no-brainer to say that boys and girls are different. But aside from the obvious, the differences between the male and female of the species are staggering. I have three children, my firstborn, Ellie; my middle child, William; and my youngest, Allison, whom we call “Big Al” because she’s so tiny.

The girls are interesting. Ellie is a married college student now with a new baby, my first grandchild, Benjamin. Allison is a sixthgrader, a cheerleader, straight-A student and goody-two-shoes, but with a streak of evil when it comes to tormenting her brother. And then there’s my boy, William.

When my girls were little, they rarely, if ever, put anything in their mouths that didn’t belong there. Will’s first solid food was a spider he found crawling along the baseboard of the living room floor.

We lived near the beach in California when he was a baby, and for days after an afternoon on the shore I’d be changing sand-filled diapers. Cat food had to be put up on a high surface or the cat would have starved to death. In fact, after catching him eating a crayon one day, I began to worry that he had that weird disease that causes people to crave detergent, paint chips and plaster.

And it’s not just the “I’ll eat anything” syndrome. He and his friends speak a language that I don’t get. This is a standard 13-yearold boy conversation: “Dude!”

“Dude!”

“Duuuuude!”

“Duuuuude!”

“Oh, duuuuude!”

Nonsensical perhaps, yet they completely understand every subtle nuance of this conversation. And this weird conversational style extends to home as well. If I ask Allison how school was, I’d receive a torrential downpour of all the politics that are prevalent in sixth-grade girl society. When I ask Will about his day, it goes a little something like this:

Me: “So, how was your day, buddy?”

Him: “Mmm.” Me: “Anything exciting happen?”

Him: “Mmm.” Me: “We’re having your favorite: spiders and sand for dinner tonight!”

Him: “Mmm.” But I go to school conferences, and the teachers all say the same thing: Teacher: “Oh, Mrs. Yoder, Will is such a pleasure to have in class! He’s an outspoken classroom leader, full of creativity and thought. He just exudes personality! But I’m sure you know all this already.”

Me: “Mmm.” So mothering a son is definitely not as easy as I’d thought. Yet for all his quirks and boy weirdness, there is something about little boys (because let’s face it, no matter how big they get, they’re always our little boys!).

Even though hugs and kisses are becoming fewer and farther between, every once in a while he will come up to me and lay his head on my shoulder, very briefly, and I’ll smell that boy-smell that is outdoorsy and sporty and puppy-doggy, and my heart just about melts.

And even though his voice is deeper now and on the rare occasion I get a kiss on the cheek I can feel a little wisp of fine baby mustache, he will always be the little boy who pulled the neighbors flowers out of the ground to present me with a bouquet when he was 4. He’s the boy who cried and let only me hold him when he fell off the bed and busted his head open, requiring 10 stitches and ice cream sandwiches daily for a week.

And no matter how much he grows or what he accomplishes in his life, he will always be my sweet baby boy. But I swear he still has spider breath sometimes.

Angie Yoder is a freelance writer, mother of three and new grandma of one. She lives in Columbus.

Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 13

Dreaming of a good night’s rest absolutely exhausting, but Gavin just slept better when he was upright.

Rita Deskins manages the sleep center at Columbus Regional Hospital, where they administer sleep studies on children as young as 2. She said children need routine to help them learn to fall asleep.

She suggests developing a routine, such as reading a story and keeping ambient light from electronic devices to a minimum in the two hours before bedtime. She also said the Ferber method is one way parents can help their children learn to fall asleep. With this method, parents put their child in their own crib or bed and leave them for different intervals of time with the hopes that they will “self-soothe” and fall asleep on their own.

Suggestions abound when sleep issues keep children and parents up all night

S

By Crystal Henry

leep is a precious commodity for any new parent, but some battle the nighttime blues more than others. Some babies are content to be placed in their cribs and fall fast asleep until morning,

but many parents find that “sleeping like a baby” can be simply exhausting.

For the first year of his life, Gavin Conboy woke up about every two to three hours each night. And some nights he’d make it only an hour before Paige, his mother, had to scoop him up and comfort him back to sleep.

Paige said she spent most of that first year holding him in a recliner all night and for his naps during the day. It was

14 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

She said children naturally want their parents to put them to sleep, but as long as the parent is a crutch, the children won’t figure out a way to comfort themselves.

She said parents have to help them ease into self-soothing by giving plenty of comfort and attention during the day.

But as Paige discovered, the Ferber method doesn’t work for every baby. She said she tried letting Gavin cry, but he was frantic and never settled down as the Ferber method suggested he would. Gavin was a high-needs baby, and he even cried sometimes when he was held. So leaving him alone in the dark in his crib to cry himself to sleep just didn’t seem like a compassionate option, she said.

She felt there was more going on than just a fussy baby, and after a year of doctor appointments and many tests, they finally discovered that Gavin had obstructive sleep apnea. His adenoids, tonsils and uvula were so large that they obstructed his airway when he slept. His brain would tell his body to wake up so he could breathe.

Gavin’s constant waking was his body’s way of keeping him alive. Paige felt a sense of relief.

“In my opinion I think sleep problems with medical causes are often overlooked,” she said.

Ask your doctor Deskins said there are many medical reasons children don’t sleep well, and parents should speak with their physicians about any concerns. She said the children’s doctor should be asking how they’re sleeping just as he asks about diet and development.

For instance, if a child is snoring, she may need her tonsils or adenoids out. One of the newest medical options is to correct dental issues. Sometimes the way a child’s palate is formed affects his nighttime breathing, and there are dentists in Columbus who work to correct this.

Deskins said one of the most common sleep correcting solutions used to be a CPAP mask that children wore to bed. But she said now they’re finding that a mask may cause more harm than good because it could alter the way the child’s face develops and grows.

Paige said after Gavin’s surgery to remove his adenoids, tonsils and uvula his sleep apnea was much better but hadn’t disappeared completely, and he still didn’t sleep well. If his parents stayed with him until he fell asleep, he would sleep in his own bed, but he woke in the middle of the night crying and they brought him into their bed.

When he was 3 they finally just let him start the night in their bed, and they all started sleeping better then. She said at 6 years old he now sleeps part of the night in his bed and part in her bed, and she’s completely fine with it all.

There is sometimes a stigma attached to children sleeping in their parents’ bed, but Paige said every child and every situation are different. And parents get too hung up about where their kids sleep.

“I personally think that kids and parents should go to bed wherever they can sleep best,” she said.

Paige took precautions to ensure they were co-sleeping safely, and she felt better once everyone in the house was actually sleeping.

When her daughter, Lucy, was born, Paige slept propped up in bed with the baby on her chest for three months, while Gavin slept beside her. Later her husband, Sean, slept with Gavin in a bed, while Lucy and Paige shared a bed because that’s what worked best for their family.

Now she rocks Lucy to sleep and puts her in her crib and goes to bed with Sean. When Lucy wakes up at night, Paige brings her into bed. Gavin sleeps half the night in his bed and then comes into their bed as well, so when morning comes they’re all in the same bed, which is a king and a twin pushed together.

Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 15

She says that they let Lucy cry more than Gavin, but she has a different personality and isn’t as intense a baby.

And two sleep studies have shown no medical problems.

Opinions differ There are studies on both sides of the fence about co-sleeping or bed-sharing. Some experts deem it unsafe, and others argue that it promotes breast-feeding and reduces sudden infant death syndrome. And while Deskins agrees with teaching children to self-soothe in their own beds, she said our culture is one of the only ones in which babies sleep in their own rooms.

She said as children get older, their needs for sleep change, and parents may have more success with bedtime if they develop a strong routine and healthy bedtime habits.

One of her biggest tips is for parents and children to unplug. Phones, games, television and other electronics are among the biggest problems they see with sleep troubles. The electronics give off light that is too bright and trick the body into thinking it is daytime.

Minimize light and read to kids in the evening instead of letting them watch television before bed. Playing a

quiet game or even having kids play alone quietly is a better alternative than watching a show.

Having a set bedtime is also helpful to establish an internal clock. And limit physical activity two hours before bedtime.

Some parents will incorporate a bath into the bedtime routine, but Deskins warns that hot showers and baths may not be the best idea. In the evening a person’s body temperature naturally begins to drop. Hot baths may relax muscles, but getting the body temperature up could actually keep kids awake longer. Keep the bedroom cool and don’t overdress them.

Even more important than a regular bedtime is a regular time to wake up in the morning, Deskins said. Even on the weekends children need to wake up around the same time each morning because that’s what sets their internal clocks. She said the absence of a steady wake-up time will create the same problems as having jet lag.

Lack of sleep has been linked to many health and behavioral disorders including ADHD. So it’s important that parents find ways to help their children sleep.

Experiment with different bedtime routines and always talk to the child’s doctor if any sleep problems persist.

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Learning to fly

uke shot down the stairs with a grin and a twinkle in his eye. “Mom, I really, really, really need my bicycle helmet and the video camera!”

Although questions like this are common in our house, I always have the same response: “Where is your sister?” At only 17 months apart, my two youngest children spend their days planning elaborate adventures in their playroom fittingly named “The Lab.” Luke, at age 7, is the mastermind while Grace, age 6, very willingly plays the role of his guinea pig.

On this day, after following Luke up to his room, I walked in to find Grace sitting calmly in the top bunk of Luke’s bed, one end of a jump rope tied around her waist while the other was looped through a blade on the ceiling fan. She pushed up her safety goggles as she asked Luke if he had found his bicycle helmet. Knowing the nature of most of their escapades, I inquired of my little engineer concerning his plan.

“Well, Mom you know how we’ve been trying to get Grace to fly? (A fact I was most certainly and frightfully aware of.) I thought since the ceiling fan goes so fast, we could tie Grace to it and she could fly around the room!”

There are moments in life when one has a choice.

These choices could likely affect the rest of one’s life.

Taking in the scene, I realized I had three options: 1. I could run to my bed, crawl under the covers and lament to the gods for giving me such crazy children and find the nearest candy man (aka psychiatrist) to drug me, my children or possibly both until they go to college.

2. I could begin an hour-long lecture on safety and consequences with a possible call to the proper authorities.

3. I could just go with it. Aware of the fact our insur-

ance did not currently have a prescription plan and appreciating their use of safety goggles and helmet, I chose to just go with it.

Not wanting to squelch my children’s creativity, I decided to ask about their planning process. That is when Grace showed me her baby doll. Luke went on to explain how they had first tested the ceiling fan idea with the doll. Seeing the extreme weight difference between Baby Cinderella and my sweet Grace, I came across a major flaw. They both were looking at me with such excited expressions, determined their plan would work. Who am I to crush their dreams? I just threw down a few more pillows under the fan and prayed for no broken bones.

Really, isn’t that our job as parents – to help our children learn to fly? They are each given specific abilities and passions that steer their hearts. It is our duty to provide the environment for them to plan, imagine and create. Unfortunately, we also need to let them fail. So we just offer some comfort and protection and watch them soar.

Thankfully, my son is not the most skillful knot-tier in the world, so Grace’s jump rope came loose from the fan as soon as she jumped fearlessly, faithful in her brother’s abilities. A few days later, I just watched as Luke led Grace outside with a handful of balloons and a roll of yarn. After a few moments, Grace tiptoed back inside and whispered, “Mama, if I fly away too far and get stuck in a tree, will you come get me?”

Of course, baby, I’ll always give you a safe place to land.

Christie Hurt is a Columbus mother of three, recently plucked from Oklahoma. She is a teacher, pastor’s wife, writer and Pinterest connoisseur.

Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 17

Keep it to yourself New mothers learn to tune out unsolicited advice

P

By Crystal Henry

arents are a target for unsolicited advice from the moment they even express interest in having a child. Family members, friends and even complete strangers can be self-proclaimed ex-

perts on child rearing.

It is often overwhelming for new moms to try to sort

Farrington, a stay-at-home mom with two boys, said ideally she would smile and say thank you. But she’s typically ready with a counter argument as to why what she is doing is right, especially if she’s in a stressful situation.

Once, while on vacation with her 6-month-old son, she was struggling to get him to take naps or stay asleep

through all the words of wisdom that are hurled at them.

at night. Sleep deprivation didn’t help her patience as her

Knowing whether to take them to heart or with a grain of

grandmother and aunt repeatedly suggested that she just

salt is the key to maintaining sanity.

let him cry it out.

When confronted with unsolicited advice, Malorie 18 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

“At one point I shouted at my aunt, ‘How about you

raise your own kid?’ It was not my finest moment,” she said.

Since then she thinks she’s gotten better about taking advice and said she is much more accepting when it comes from her mother or friends who have children.

Katie Grafelman’s daughter, Betty, seemed to want to nurse constantly for the first 10 months of her life.

Grafelman wasn’t sure what was normal and healthy because it was her first baby, but her pediatrician seemed confident that Betty was very healthy.

So she didn’t worry until one day when her daughter was 6 months old and a family member told her she’d described Betty’s eating to a friend who is a La Leche League consultant. She said Betty wasn’t normal and that she suspected the frequent nursing was due to dehydration.

“Of course I freaked out and called a La Leche League consultant in town who talked with me for half an hour and reassured me everything was fine,” Grafelman said.

She said she learned not to listen to second-hand advice and to trust her instincts and resources.

Grafelman said the best advice she gets is from other moms with kids the same ages as hers because they are going through similar situations and they can share what is working and what isn’t. It helps to find solutions she wouldn’t have thought of on her own.

Melissa Clark is a stay-at-home mom and an “onleave” therapist. She said talking to other moms who have similar values can be a great way to find helpful advice. When making decisions about things like school for her older child, she sought parents with similar values to guide her in those choices.

“I have truly learned that parenting is likely the toughest vocation out there,” she said.

Beth Grube said she has been lucky enough not to have any crazy advice pushed on her, but she has doled out her own advice to friends who are hit with too many nuggets of information.

“Every family, situation and child is unique,” she said.

“You do what works for you and don’t worry about what others are doing or have done.”

She said she read all the parenting books and got caught up with comparing her son to other children. She worried when he did or didn’t do things on a schedule, but as he got older she realized those milestones are only guides.

Ryan VanPoucke, mother of two, said she feels for the

most part people are well-meaning when they give advice. They are just looking to connect on children’s issues and throwing out suggestions about how they approach things. They may not realize their “advice” is coming across as pushy or judgmental. They’re just verbalizing what worked for them.

“It’s not such a huge deal objectively,” she said. “It just feels that way when you haven’t slept through the night and you have a baby.”

She said she generally enjoys advice now that her children are 4 and 6, especially from those who have raised their children well. She said it’s much easier to hear advice now and not feel like it’s criticism of her parenting.

And it’s easier to accept that there are many different ways to raise kids.

She said the best pieces of advice she got were that “the true meaning of inheritance and the measure of success is our family” and “the days are long, but the years are short when it comes to raising kids.”

VanPoucke said in the end if your mother-in-law gives you some wacky advice, just breathe. “Have a glass of wine. Smile. Someone probably told her the same thing.”

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Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 19

Jennifer Tchida New books for the New Year

Here are some great books to help you start the year off right.

Picture Books “Penguin and Pinecone” by Salina Yoon – An adorable penguin comes across a pinecone and decides it will be his friend. A touching story of friendship and how it grows, regardless of differences and separation. Ages 3 and up.

“Silence” by Lemniscates – Charming artwork and sparse text encourage readers to truly listen and think about the world around them. Simple, thoughtful and beautiful. Ages 4 and up.

“My Special One and Only” by Joe Berger – Bridget has a new coin from the tooth fairy so she heads out on a shopping trip with Captain Cat, her special one and only.

But in the hustle and bustle of the busy store Bridget loses Captain Cat! A frantic search ensues. Will Captain Cat be found? A humorous and chaotic look at the trauma of losing a beloved toy. Ages 4 and up.

“John Jensen Feels Different” by Henrik Hovland – John Jensen is a crocodile, and he can’t figure out why he feels so different from everyone else. While at the hospital after a fall, the doctor reassures John that everybody is different and to be happy with his differences. Quirky and colorful line drawings add to this lovely tale of individuality. Ages 5 and up.

Chapter Books “Violet Mackerel’s Brilliant Plot” by Anna Branford – Violet really wants a small china bird, so she comes up with imaginative, but not successful, plans to buy it. Such a delightful story with appealing characters. Ages 7 and up.

“Kepler’s Dream” by Juliet Bell – 11-year-old Ella must spend the summer with her grandmother, a woman she has never met, as her mom receives treatment for 20 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

leukemia. When a rare book is stolen, Elle resolves to find it, but this book is more about family and relationships than a mystery. Memorable characters, humor and a smart storyline make for a superb read. Ages 9 and up.

“Horten’s Miraculous Mechanisms” by Lissa Evans – Stuart is unhappy that his family has moved to his father’s hometown, and he foresees a long, boring summer ahead of him. Luckily for Stuart a mystery presents itself: his Uncle Tony, a magician, disappeared 50 years ago.

Humor fills this engaging mystery. Ages 9 and up.

“Liar & Spy” by Rebecca Stead – I loved this book!

Georges and his family have moved to a new apartment after his father lost his job, and Georges tries to cope with all the changes in his life. Twists and turns abound in a world where nothing is quite what it seems. Insightful and heartwarming. Ages 10 and up.

Nonfiction

Charming watercolor illustrations add appeal to this interesting look at U.S. history. Ages 6 and up.

“An Illustrated Treasury of Scottish Folk and Fairy Tales” by Theresa Breslin – An amazing collection of traditional Scottish tales, some with familiar elements and characters like Cinderella and Loch Ness. Ages 7 and up.

“Noah Webster & His Words” by Jeri Chase Ferris – The unknown story of the man behind the first American dictionary. Entertaining illustrations and definitions truly make this book one to pick up. Ages 5 and up.

“Invincible Microbe” by Jim Murphy and Alison Blank – A dramatic look at tuberculosis and its unrelenting charge on humankind. Such an informative picture of medical and social history. Ages 10 and up.

“The House That George Built” by Suzanne Slade – A fantastic look at the construction of the White House.

Jennifer Tchida is children’s services librarian at Bartholomew County Public Library.

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Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Columbus, Indiana 7850 W. Goeller Blvd. | 812-342-6230 www.uucci.org Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 21

CrKid af s’ t

Decorating a tree tops off Christmas

T

By Kathy Antoniotti n Akron Beacon Journal

he lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza in New York City serves as the unofficial kickoff of the holiday season across the country. It is an iconic symbol for the holidays recognized by people worldwide.

The tree tradition at Rockefeller Plaza had a humble start in 1931, during the height of the depression in the United States, when construction workers placed a small unadorned tree at the site. Two years later, someone erected another tree at the same place, this time with lights.

Many communities in the country mirror the lighting of the Rockefeller tree with their own trees, although probably not quite so tall and richly decorated.

You can find instructions to make this craft at http://tlc. howstuffworks.com//family/thanksgiving-crafts15.htm on the Web. Supplies you will need:  Large pine cone.  Plastic beads in yellow and red (or other colors if you prefer), about one-quarter inch in diameter.  Fast grab tacky glue.  Low-temperature glue gun.  Tweezers.  Piece of wood, a small flat box lid or something with a flat surface to serve as a base.  A star or some other item to place on top of tree.

Glue the pine cone to your base using the low-temperature glue gun. If you would like, paint or wrap the base in colorful holiday paper.

Pour some fast grab tacky glue in a small dish. Hold a bead with a pair of tweezers and dip in glue. Place the bead on one of the cone bracts. Continue gluing beads on the cone, alternating the colors, until the tree is covered.

I used a glue gun to attach a star, which I found at a local craft store, to the top of the tree.

22 • December 2012 - January 2013 • Parent

Parent • December 2012 - January 2013 • 23

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