She Magazine by AIM Media Indiana

AUGUST 2014

>> ALSO INSIDE: Karen Turnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Journey Cut the Clutter Innkeeper Sarah Johnston Women Who Dared: Merry Carmichael

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Features

26 16

contents AUGUST 2014

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

8 16 Common Goal

The women at the Heritage Fund

22 Sarah Johnston

Overseeing The Inn at Irwin Gardens

26 Words of Encouragement

Karen Turner educates others about ovarian cancer

38 Women Who Dared Merry Carmichael

REGULARS 6

Clothes-Minded Maxi dresses

Health & Beauty Makeup tips

She Says

Fashion Clean those closets

She Finds Teal

Entertainment Liv Tyler

Parenting Overscheduled families

Cuisine Wraps and salads

View from Mars

Just a Minute

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

august 20, 2014 ACTING EDITOR Doug Showalter COPY EDITOR Katharine Smith SENIOR GRAPHIC ARTIST Amanda Waltz WRITERS Catherine Hageman, Jenni Muncie-Sujan, Shannon Palmer, Barney Quick, Spencer Thompson, Jennifer Willhite photographers Greg Jones April Knox Andrew Laker Stock Images Provided by Thinkstock

SEND COMMENTS TO: Twinkle VanWinkle, The Republic, 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201. Call 812-379-5691 or email tvanwinkle@therepublic.com

on the cover: The women at the Heritage Fund. Photo by April Knox

ADVERTISING INFORMATION: Call Cathy Klaes at 812-379-5678 or email cklaes@therepublic.com. All editorial and advertising content in She are copyrighted and cannot be reproduced.

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Check out past issues of She magazine at

Washington St.

Clothes-Minded

Maxi dresses require minimum effort By Catherine Hageman

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

I have fallen in love this summer – head over heels in love with maxi dresses. These dresses and skirts that fall to the floor have been popular for a few years now, and I always shied away from them. I figured I was too tall and too curvy already to need or want the aid of a maxi dress. Extra length and fabric – it sounded to me like a bad combination. I was very wrong. I was so wrong that I’m now convinced maxi dresses are some of the best pieces of clothing out there, and I may or may not have gone on a slightly obsessive shopping spree to quickly add them to my closet. Maxi dresses come in just as many cuts and styles as any other type of dress. The fabric choice, color and print can all flatter depending on your body type. I’ve seen petite women look taller, and tall women like myself look leaner and longer with the help of a well-designed maxi dress. Unlike a lot of clothes, maxi dresses pull double duty at work and outside the office. I added a crisp white blazer to my favorite plain black maxi dress and felt instantly chic and pulled together. Maxi dresses and skirts give you extra coverage, which is especially handy when your office goes a little overboard on the air conditioning. Then I styled the same black dress with a chambray and baseball cap for the weekend. The same maxi dress made two outfits that were easy and comfortable, but still fashionable. But don’t think just because you’re a certain age that maxi dresses and skirts won’t work for you. On the contrary, they can be great alternatives for weddings or date nights. Just look for dresses that are cut similar to ones you already own. If you prefer a dress with thicker straps, Target is selling maxi dresses with tank straps right now in an incredibly soft jersey cotton that I swear I could sleep in. Add a cardigan and chunky necklace to your new maxi for a day look and switch out the cardigan for a blazer (or leave it off completely) to make the dress work at night. And when the weather turns cooler in the fall – and even colder when winter sets in – maxi dresses will work just as well with tights and booties. I can’t wait to layer mine with jackets and soft scarves come October, because this love affair I’m having with maxi dresses is definitely going to last beyond this summer. *she Catherine Hageman lives in Columbus. She blogs fashion advice at smalltownbigwardrobe.com and can be reached at Catherine.Hageman@gmail.com.

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AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

topfromtips makeup artists Compiled by Jenni L. Muncie-Sujan Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell a matte bronzer from a shiny one? Less than satisfied with what you see in the mirror after applying your makeup? You are not alone. We asked a couple of local makeup artists to share some tips with She readers. Susie Pieper is a licensed cosmetologist and makeup artist at Red Lips Spatique. Kerry Stahl has studied makeup artistry internationally and is a makeup artist at Studio Shag. The following list was compiled from their tips.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

Choose products designed for specific skin types (oily, dry, combination, normal).

Line lips after applying lipstick. Apply the liner to the highest and lowest points of the lips.

Remember the eyebrows. To create a natural look, match eyebrow color to hair color. For black hair, use an ashy brown color for the eyebrow.

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Clean makeup brushes once each week with brush shampoo. The skinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oils can break down makeup and prevent optimal blending.

Dab white or gold eye shadow powder on the inner corner of the eye to make eyes appear more open.

Each issue we ask women a different question. This month:

What one makeup item can you not live without?

To avoid makeup lines, go to a professional makeup artist to match foundation to skin.

Instead of using powder to cover flaws, use foundation or concealer. Women typically overdo powder, causing a caked-on, chalky look.

For a natural look, use a matte bronzer instead of a shiny or luminescent one.

“Mascara. I like the way it makes your eyes look.” —Lucretia Blaker

“All of it! Foundation and mascara; I wear them every day. I use blush, too, and eyeliner.” —Linda Noel

“Bronzer. I think a little color makes you look healthier.” —Kim Hickman

“Foundation. It hides your imperfections.” —Haley Hickman

Instead of smiling to apply blush to apples of cheeks, make a fish face and apply blush directly on cheek bones. *she

“Mascara. Your eyes are the one thing people really look at.” —Ann Kalisiak

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Be ruthless when deciding what to keep and what to pitch from unruly closets by shannon palmer photos by greg jones

August is officially the gateway into the upcoming fall season. Although it is hard to imagine slipping into a cozy sweater or carrying a jacket right now, it is time to think ahead and start preparing for the season change. The end of summer is an ideal time to clear the clutter. Closets can be a major hassle to keep organized. Switching out wardrobes for the season often leads to totes packed full of clothes —overflowing bins that hide that one cardigan you’re looking for. So how does one tackle the chore of organizing closets? And where can you donate the clothes that either have obviously shrunk in the dryer and don’t fit anymore, or have just run their course with you? Columbus-based professional organizer Lori Rowan has a few suggestions. Owner of Sort-it-Out LLC Professional Organizing for eight years and a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers, Rowan finds the time to help clients become more efficient by educating them and categorizing house space. She is also a partner at Zeller Insurance and uses her coordinating skills to manage both. “You really need to identify where the clutter is and what type,” Rowan said. “Is it in the kitchen, garage, bedroom, office, etc.? That is super broad, so choose a room and start with clearing the space, and then get it all moved elsewhere. Then start the process of sorting. Make piles and categorize them by like items.” If closets are the goal, getting and staying motivated are going to be essential. Put on some favorite music and begin sorting. Make three piles — keep, donate and toss. Have one pile that will consist mainly of items that are still in good enough shape to donate to a local charity. The toss pile should include clothes with tears or stains or that are otherwise unacceptable for donation. The keep pile should consist of clothing that will be worn again, not hung in the closet untouched. One rule of thumb is that if you haven’t

worn something within the last calendar year, let it go. It may also be helpful to invite a friend over to help with the purging process. Another voice of reason can be useful and even fun. Most likely she will end up with a bagful of new clothes to add to her wardrobe thanks to you. As you are sorting, be prepared to laugh out loud at some of the ridiculous pieces of apparel bought on impulse, and if the tags are still attached, most likely the item needs to go into the donate pile. Once the sorting is done, it is time to determine exactly how to put the closet back in working order. Rowan recommends finding a worthy shelving unit. “Shelving is an excellent tool to help you find a place to put your items after you have the space organized and de-cluttered.” she said. “I’m a huge fan of Elfa closet organizers; there are others out there, but these are really versatile.” Kala Spann of Columbus tries to keep her closet organized. When it is time to switch out clothes for the upcoming season, she breaks out the vacuum seal bags. She says they allow for more room for storage, and they are dust free. When it comes to going through old clothes and determining what to donate, she takes the time to sort. “At the end of a season, for example at the end of this past winter, I went through all of my sweaters and winter clothes. I got rid of what I didn’t want or what I knew I wouldn’t wear anymore and then donated them to Goodwill,” Spann said. Keisha Clough says she isn’t as organized as she’d like to be, and most of her clothes end up on her bed, draped across the dresser or on the floor. “I change clothes so much it is hard to stay organized,” Clough said. “I do, however, donate the clothes I don’t want to Sans Souci, which is a really great organization.” If you are looking to get a little cash for your clothes, consider consignment. There are lots of online options available. Thredup.com is worth checking out, as well

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

as the local Columbus Facebook resale sites. Cupcake Boutique Upscale Resale is local and works on consignment if the need is there. It can also be found on Facebook. Ask around, too. Friends or co-workers may know someone who has a daughter or granddaughter who would benefit from stylish hand-me-downs.

“Shelving is an excellent tool to help you find a place to put your items after you have the space organized and de-cluttered.” —Lori Rowan

Not only is having structure in the closet good for aesthetics, it is good for the mind as well. An organized closet allows ease when searching for a certain outfit or accessory. This in turn leads to less stress getting out the door in the morning and, ultimately, a better day. Chaos and clutter in any type of closet or cubby can be distracting, so get organized with a head start on the season. *she

RIGHT: Lori Rowan keeps her closet contents easily seen and accessible. INSET: Once she decides to get rid of something, it ends up in the garage, and then it is “out of here” according to Rowan. 14

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Where to donate >> Goodwill 980 Creekview Drive, 372-3530: Household items and clothing accepted. Drop off items during business hours.

>> Sans Souci 1526 13th St., 372-3419: Local thrift shop accepts donations of household items and clothing.

>> Cupcake Boutique On Facebook. Accepts consignments at certain times of the year.

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The women of the Heritage Fund are finding their way in new roles story by jennifer willhite photos by april knox

Front: Lorraine Low. Middle: Kristin Munn, left, and Amber Fischvogt. Back, from left: Tracy Souza, Amy Laker and Celeste Yonushonis

he Heritage Fund – the Community Foundation of Bartholomew County is a recognized name and the county’s largest philanthropic organization, but few are familiar with the diverse staff of six women in charge of the organization’s day-to-day operations. At the helm is Tracy Souza, who became president and CEO in 2011 after spending five years on the Heritage Fund board and serving as chairwoman of the organization’s outreach committee. “As the community foundation, it is our job to gather assets and to invest them in the community through a grant-making process,” Souza said, “and to be a vehicle that allows donors to make charitable contributions to their community in whatever they want.” For instance, if a donor is interested in education, he may establish a scholarship. Or if there is a certain agency or organization the individual was once helped by or feels passionate about, he may choose to create a fund to help that particular group. After spending more than 30 years at Cummins Inc., including serving as the company’s director of corporate responsibility and president of the Cummins Foundation, Souza said working at the Heritage Fund was a bit of a change. Soon after she took over, she began bringing in new staff.

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Amy Laker, a former copy editor, joined the Heritage Fund staff in 2013 as the organization’s scholarship manager. “It was an opportunity to try something different,” she said. “I work with students who receive scholarships through the fund, and I also do most of our communications work, including sending out monthly and annual newsletters and press releases.” Going from a copy desk to working with students was definitely a welcome change, she said. “It doesn’t feel like a job,” Laker said. “It isn’t work. It is coming together with a group of people you respect and enjoy being around. And you have the common goal of continuing the heritage of the Heritage Fund.” All the women agree, the day-to-day operations at the Heritage Fund are anything but typical. “We are dealing with people, and as a service organization, each day is different,” said Lorraine Low, who has served as the organization’s executive assistant for the past nine years. “It never gets old.” Much of the staff is frequently in and out of the office, meeting with a variety of community partners, nonprofit organizations and donors. “My role with the outreach committee is to keep a finger on the pulse of the community and its needs,” said Kristin Munn, community grant and outreach manager. “We want

Lorraine Low, executive assistant, left, and Tracy Souza, president and CEO, discuss a report.

LEFT: Kristin Munn, community grant and outreach manager. RIGHT: Amy Laker works with Heritage Fund intern Nathan Caplan.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

We are dealing with people, and as a service organization, each day is different. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Lorraine Low

Amber Fischvogt, left, and Lorraine Low.

to be good stewards of the community’s money and make sure we get a good return on the programs that have a high impact on the community.” There is a rhythm to the job, said Celeste Yonushonis, who joined the fund two years ago as finance manager. And the rapport the women have with one another is instrumental in keeping the day-to-day flow moving along, she said. If there’s an issue or a question, everyone pitches in to work through it and find a solution. Since most everyone is new to the organization, they’re in a learning mode and rely on each another. Souza readily describes the staff as a “high energy” team that “needs to be challenged and encouraged to try new things.” And it is the spontaneousness of daily operations that keeps the staff on its toes, she said. “If we have donors who want to meet at a certain time, we drop what we’re doing and we meet,” Souza said. “Nonprofits are constantly bringing new ideas, and people drop by to say hi. I would suspect all of us would get a bit bored otherwise.” Everyone is open to dialogue and discussions, said Amber Fischvogt, vice president of development. And even though not everyone agrees all the time, they’re able to talk through things. When it comes to finding information about a donor or certain fund, the women consider themselves fortunate to have Low as their go-to person on-site. “Lorraine is like the historian here,” Munn said. “We all have an incredible amount of respect for her. She has so much wisdom that you would be a fool to not take advantage of it.” The staff considers Low and Souza mentors with a wealth of information, inspiration and guidance to offer. The organization is fortunate to have Souza, Yonushonis said. Her ability to keep the staff focused, be serious when needed and yet have some levity makes for the perfect work atmosphere, she said. “Having a sense of humor keeps the stress level down a bit,” Souza said. “In a shop of six people, everyone knows what’s going on with everyone else. We try to brief people about situations as they arise so they understand people make mistakes. There’s nothing you’re going to do that’s so bad we can’t fix it.” Teaching her staff about the importance of community involvement is at the core of what she does, Souza said. She describes the foundation as a “terrific environment to be in” and a great opportunity to be a teacher to her staff. “I hope they learn the value of getting involved in their community,” she said, “that really one person can make a huge impact. It is what community foundations are about. They’re owned and exist solely for the community.” The biggest lesson Souza said she’s learned is there is always someone out there who can help, and knowing that is very gratifying. She recognizes the desire to help others in each of her staff members and wants them to see the impact of the good they’re doing in the community. Fischvogt, who previously worked with the Columbus Area Chamber of Commerce, firmly believes working for the foundation is an exciting and unique opportunity to make a difference in the community. “We are here for the long term,” she said. “We have a very innovative group that is working as a catalyst for change.” *she

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1400 W Main St, Greensburg • 812-663-2754 www.whynotvinyl.com AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Sarah Johnston works to make guests feel at home at The Inn at Irwin Gardens

f you ask Sarah Johnston how it is she became the resident innkeeper at The Inn at Irwin Gardens, she’ll say it was fate. She liked her former life as a graphic designer in Indianapolis, but admits something didn’t feel quite right. “I was a cubicle dweller,” Johnston said. “I always had that ‘working for the man’ complex, and there’s a lot of politics and bureaucracy that go along with an office job that I didn’t care for.” In December 2010, she took a part-time innkeeper position offered on the recommendation of her friend and the resident innkeeper, Rosanne Gordon. Two years later, when Gordon returned to school full time, Johnston left her graphic design job to take her place. It was a perfect fit. The two women shared the same passion and vision for the inn. “That was really

exciting because now you have the keys to the castle, so to speak,” Johnston said. The “castle,” at 608 Fifth St., was built in 1864 by Columbus banker Joseph I. Irwin and was home to five generations of the Irwin, Sweeney and Miller families. Chris and Jessica Stevens purchased the mansion and its magnificent gardens from the family in 2009 and opened the property as a bed-andbreakfast in 2010. Johnston began exploring the house on Day 1. It still holds many secrets, she said, from locked cabinets whose keys are long lost to boxes of photographs, letters and receipts dating back to the early 1900s. It is really a treasure hunt with a life of its own, she said. She admits she may have been a bit too ambitious early on, but quickly discovered how overwhelming

story by jennifer willhite photos by april knox

Sarah Johnston

it can be to maintain the 13,000-square-foot residence and the 2½-acre grounds. “I suppose in some ways I was suffering from Martha Stewart fantasy,” she said, “where you’re like, ‘I’m going to bake scones, muffins and homemade bread. And do flower arranging.’ I do plenty of that, but there’s still a lot of grunt work.” Aside from learning the basics of Business 101, including invoicing and billing, Johnston’s 10- and 12-hour days also consist of cooking, bartending, maintenance work and offering tours. Grateful for the support of the inn’s owners, she also has five part-time and seasonal staff who assist with housekeeping, event planning and maintaining the gardens. “At the end of the day, if there are problems or emergencies, I deal with them,” she said. “And it’s never one thing at a time. There are water leaks or the Internet goes out or someone’s fire alarm battery is low and I have a special event happening on the property.” Being a resident innkeeper has been a transformative experience for the selfdescribed introvert. And though the work demands socializing, the relationships she develops with guests are very transient. “Usually, the people I see are here for one to three or four nights, so you build relationships and get to know them,” she said. “You find you have a lot in common with people, but then they’re gone.” Finding personal time is a near impossibility, especially during the peak season from April through October. “My personal schedule is completely at the mercy of whatever is happening here, so even getting away or going to dinner or to a movie can be difficult,” Johnston said. Her family and most of her friends have moved out of the Columbus area, but she said she is welcome to have guests stay with her. The trick is finding time to spend with them.

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Gordon, who still works at the inn part time, relates to her situation, but says Johnston handles it well. “You have to give yourself permission to be off duty, which can be difficult in that setting,” Gordon said. “It is easy to be sucked into doing things because you are living at work. Sarah does a good job of delineating that she’s working from home and not living at work.” Ironically, living at the inn has served to enhance Johnston’s wanderlust. She recently

took a three-month sabbatical to pursue her passion for travel. A true believer in taking opportunities as they come, she said you never know where you might end up. “I never dreamed in a million years I would ever see the inside of this place, let alone be living and working here,” she said. “It’s kind of bittersweet, because I know this is definitely the high point in my living circumstances. Anything after this is going to be a huge downgrade.” *she

Johnston arranges flowers cut from the gardens to be placed on tables inside the Inn.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014 26 Karen Turner

Now an expert on ovarian cancer, former educator seeks to teach and encourage others story by jennifer willhite photos by april knox

olumbus resident Karen Turner is using her illness as a call for education and action. In July 2011, Turner wasn’t feeling well. The lethargy and lack of appetite were dismissed by doctors as being related to the then 60-year-old’s age and stress. However, her symptoms got progressively worse Unable to eat much, she began to bloat and gain weight. Then the abdominal pain set in. Concerned it might be her gallbladder, she returned to the doctor, who sent her for an ultrasound. The test showed no sign of gallstones, but a subsequent CT scan revealed something else. In September 2011, Turner was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer. When she learned of her illness, she had two “aha” moments. First, how could she have ovarian cancer? Her ovaries and fallopian tubes had been removed in 2005. Her gynecological oncologist explained that even though a woman’s ovaries are removed, ovarian cells still remain in the body. And those cells, under rare circumstances, can become malignant. Second, she realized she knew nothing about ovarian cancer.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

After undergoing surgery to remove 95 percent of the cancer, which had spread throughout her abdomen, Turner was placed on intravenous and intraperitoneal chemo therapies. When she felt able, she began researching ovarian cancer online and read as many studies, journals and articles as she could. “I got on a mission,” she said. “It became a passion to educate other women about ovarian cancer.” She joined Ovar’coming Together, an Indiana-based nonprofit organization created to educate the public about ovarian cancer, and even spoke at its annual Turn the Canal Teal event in Indianapolis last September. Following her last treatment in January 2012, Turner went into remission. The toll the therapy had taken on her stamina left her with no choice but to retire from her nine-year career as principal at Taylorsville Elementary School. In July 2012, the cancer returned. This time in her liver. She learned there is no cure for her cancer, but it can be controlled with medication, and she was eligible for clinical trials. “The opportunity to participate in the trials excited me,” she said. “Number 1, I’m an educator and I love to learn, and two, using my body as an information donor helps future generations. I am going to be part of the cure.” The way the trials work is you have to meet certain criteria, she said. Because her cancer returned in less than six months following the completion of her chemo, she participated in trials specifically designed for those patients. “You can stay in the trials until the cancer grows,” the 63-year-old Turner said. “Some trials are very long-term, lasting a year or two.”

Throughout her treatment, Turner has accumulated a basket full of medication used with her chemotherapy. ABOVE: With her husband, Art. 28

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

But over the course of the four clinical trials she’s participated in, her cancer has proven to be very aggressive. The first clinical trial in August 2012 was a blind study, meaning she knew she was receiving the standard drug but was unaware if she was receiving the trial drug. By December, it was discovered her cancer had progressed beyond the point she would be able to stay in the trial. From January to July 2013, she took part in a second trial. And again, her cancer grew. In August 2013, she signed up for a third trial. By December, she had to withdraw when it was discovered that although the drugs were killing the cancer, they were also destroying her bone marrow. Turner began a fourth clinical trial last March but had to leave in May when, again, her cancer grew. “When you participate in a clinical trial, they monitor your health very closely,” she said. “I would encourage other people to have an open mind about clinical trials, because that is how we’re going to find the cure.” Currently, she is on an intravenous two-drug chemotherapy regimen to treat the cancer that remains in her liver. Turner’s husband, Art, is her main caregiver and accompanies her to all her appointments and treatments. You have to avoid morbidness, he said. Although the temptation to give up is there, you can’t succumb to it. You have to fight. And with

that fight come many ups and downs. ‘You have to recognize it’s a yay/boo game,” he said. “One time you’ll come out of the doctor’s office and you’ll think, ‘We have this thing in hand.’ And other times, you’ll come out and say, ‘Oh, Lord.’” When she’s able, Turner speaks about her journey and the warning signs of ovarian cancer at women’s health fairs and with organizations such as the Spirit of Women at Decatur County Memorial Hospital. She admits speaking publicly about her illness is quite easy, because she wants to share her story in the hope it helps someone else. What’s truly difficult, she said, is having conversations with her family when things aren’t going well. Turner was recently nominated for a national award of recognition for her work with the Spirit of Women group, something that didn’t surprise her husband at all. “Her dedication to wanting to help others, that’s been a longstanding thing,” he said. “She was that way all while she was in education, and she’s carried on that tradition. I’m proud of her for doing it.” Turner credits her family, friends, former students and colleagues, and faith with giving her the support she needs to continue fighting the disease and educating others. And they, too, help to spread her message of awareness.

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AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

A letter notifing Turner she was being awarded the 2014 Spirit of Women National Community Hero Award. She received the award July 17 in Miami.

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

“For the last two years, Taylorsville Elementary has done an ovarian cancer night at one of the basketball games,” she said. “The kids have worn teal, the color for ovarian cancer, and they handed out information and collected money for the American Cancer Society. I was really pleased with that.” If she were to offer one piece of advice to other women, it’s to count each day as a blessing. “You have to appreciate each day you have and make it your own masterpiece,” she said. “And for those who are just starting out on this journey, take it a day at a time. Each day brings something different and you just have to adjust. Cancer is a part of your life, but you don’t have to make it your life.” *she

shefinds Compiled by amanda waltz photos by andrew laker

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3 2 4

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1. Decorative Owl, $19.99, from Hobby Lobby. 2. Paradise Flower scented Chesapeake Bay Candle, $4.99, from Target. 3. Room Essentials Melamine Cereal Bowl ($1.79), Salad Plate ($1.79) and Dinner Plate ($1.99), from Target. 4. Flowered Wood Storage Box, $15.99, from Hobby Lobby. 5. Contents 2-Zip Clutch Cosmetic Bag, $14.99, from Target. 6. Merona Chevron Stripe Hard Wallet, $12.99, from Target. 7. Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear Polish in Jazzy Jade, $2.49, from Target. 8. Metal Turtle Box, $12.99, from Hobby Lobby.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Liv Tyler happiest out of the spotlight By Luaine Lee

McClatchy-Tribune News Service

hough she’s been acting since she was 16, Liv Tyler doesn’t revel in the limelight. The star of films like the “Lord of the Rings” trio, “The Incredible Hulk,” “Jersey Girl” and “That Thing You Do” says, “I never wanted to be an actor, to be the superstar, to be the center of attention. “I always wanted to be working with groups of people that would teach me and elevate me and inspire me so I always sort of thrive in the company of other people,” she says, seated in the living room of the famous Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. She fulfills that wish as she stars in HBO’s spooky new series, “The Leftovers,” a mysterious tale about the unexplained disappearance of 2 percent of the population and a cultish group that tries to gain control. Tyler plays one of the “leftovers” who’s being cultivated by the cult. But just before the script arrived, she was considering quitting. “I started praying to the universe: ‘Tell

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

me now, am I meant to keep going, keep focusing on being an actress or am I meant to pursue my other passions and dreams?’ I think being second generation to the entertainment industry and being bitten by the bug, that happens when you’re a performer in some kind of way,” says Tyler, “It’s made me a little bit head shy about the whole experience of fame and attention. I’m kind of shy in a lot of ways and don’t like a lot of attention, which is strange. Whenever I get a lot of attention, I get a little bit like, ‘OK, thanks, thanks, thanks.’ It kind of goes in one ear and out the other. And I just want to take my high heels off and crawl back to my room.” But she’s never been able to do that. Born to model-singer Bebe Buell, she is the biological daughter of Steven Tyler of Aerosmith fame, though her mother lived with musician Todd Rundgren at the time of her birth. She thought Rundgren was her father until she was 8. “I think I’ve always wanted to have some kind of a normal life just growing up in the household of entertainers and seeing that experience, because it’s very extreme,” she nods. “There’s big emotions and big feelings, and one minute you’re being home and

you’re totally normal and everything’s in order and the next thing everything’s chaotic and crazy and nuts and full of mystery and new people — and it’s sort of back and forth. So I’ve tried very hard in my life to keep something sacred for myself and sort of private.” She aims to foster that balance for her 9-year-old son, Milo. “I actually just bought a country house; I found a place that I felt good about so that’s our next adventure to sort of incorporate that into our life. ... I’m always dreaming of moving to the country on a farm with Milo where he can be totally free and I can be totally dedicated to being his mom. That’s my secret fantasy.” Tyler, 36, is divorced from British musician Royston Langdon. “When Roy and I got divorced, I went through that whole period — I really had to retreat for a couple of years to sort of heal that and make sure that I was OK and that he was OK and Milo was OK,” she says. “I think it’s easy to sort of sublimate all those feelings and just go into work and try to avoid those feelings. ... When things come up for me, I have to go toward them instead of away from them. My dad always said when I was a little girl, I never forgot it: ‘There’s no way out but through.’ “And I always think about that when things come up. Be brave and deal with this now. And go fight the beast and slay the dragon.” “The Leftovers” marks her first venture into television, an adjustment from film work. “I’m used to seeing a whole script and knowing the whole schedule,” she says. “With this we get the script five days before an episode, so we’re all waiting. At

first that was tricky for me being comfortable with being uncomfortable. But now I love it because it’s an incredible challenge, and I don’t have that much time to think about it. The truth is that’s how we are as people. We don’t really know what’s going to happen tomorrow or next week.” Because of her gentle demeanor, people often overlook her resilient core. “People think I’m timid,” she shrugs. “I’ve never thought of myself as timid, but I think people think I’m quite soft spoken, and I come across as being that way.” Not so, she insists. “I remember those little moments when something sort of snaps inside of you, and you’re aware of standing up for yourself and for what you believe in. I remember feeling that at such a young age just in the way I grew up and having this job at such a young age, you have to be very, very strong in order to be around all these different kinds of people and in those situations. “It’s not for the timid at all,” she laughs, “or you can’t survive it.” *she

ABOVE, AND AT RIGHT: Tyler stars in HBO’s ”The Leftovers.” (Paul Schiraldi/Courtesy HBO/MCT) AT TOP: Tyler attends a season premiere after party in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

If it’s Tuesday, it must be soccer Parents play tag with kids’schedules story by Jenni L. Muncie-Sujan / photos by greg jones

In an earlier era, a “Mom’s Taxi” bumper sticker on the back of a minivan may have seemed like an exaggeration of parents’ commitment to their children’s activities. But kids’ schedules have grown into entities of their own. Weekends are booked months in advance for young people, and evenings are full of various activities, supported by parents who want to provide every opportunity to foster their children’s full potential. At this frantic pace, neighbors, friends and family are called upon regularly to help parents make the connection between school, sports, clubs, music lessons and social events. Ann Miller, a licensed psychologist with a private practice in Columbus, says that over-scheduling children seems to be an epidemic in our culture. “They suffer from burnout the same as adults do,” Miller says. Symptoms can include tantrums, resistance to getting out of bed, major changes in mood and behavior, sleep difficulties, trouble “spinning down” from all the activities or hyperactivity — a result of

not knowing how to “shut down and have quiet time.” Another thing parents can watch for is “general malaise, a feeling like something is wrong with their life, but they are unable to identify what it is.” She explains further. “If your sole interaction with your child involves going to sporting, dance and structured activities — and doesn’t involve more relaxed casual and family interaction — then it can send a message that children and adolescents are valued for what they do as opposed to who they are.” Jamie Bumbalough and her husband, Max, have three sons: Tyler, 11, Ethan, 8, and Aiden, 6. Each of the boys participates in three activities that sometimes overlap and generally connect end-to-end around the year. She tries to keep the amount of involvement equal among her children. “We don’t tell them they can’t do anything, but it has to work with the schedule, says Bumbalough, who relies on grandparents to help make the connections. She watches her boys for signs of stress in their attitudes and behavior.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: Jamie Bumbalough and her son, Tyler, 11. Aiden Bumbalough, 6. Mom’s bag is often a carryall for snacks, fruit, gum, insect repellent, beverages and more. Busy kids typically have a lot of gear and often carry it themselves.

If necessary, they take a break from activity. Recently, Tyler discontinued piano lessons for a semester. Then he returned to them. “We have always taught them when you commit to something, you finish it,” she says. This rule encourages the mentality of being reliable as a teammate as well as understanding the financial investment made for each sport or class. Miller agrees with teaching completion. “If the child has asked to participate in an activity, and it is a limited session (six to eight times), then it is a valuable lesson to fulfill that obligation.” Self-esteem is increased in children when they honor a goal. On the other hand, Miller says that when a child consistently resists attending an activity that he has not chosen to do but has been encouraged to do by a parent, stopping that activity may be something to consider if there is still a large number of sessions left. “I want them to be healthy and active. I don’t want them to live a sedentary lifestyle,” says Bumbalough, who includes quiet reading time on the

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Waiting on his game to begin, Ethan Bumbalough, 8, watches his younger brother play. INSET: Jamie and Ethan move to a different diamond for the start of another game.

summer schedule. “We ask them frequently, ‘Are you having fun doing this? If you’re not having fun, then we’re not going to do it. Winning and losing are not important. Are you having fun, and are you doing your best?’” “The problem I find is that when you have a kid playing multiple sports [simultaneously], their practices and games are going to conflict,” says Andrew Jerman, president of Columbus Lacrosse Club and local hockey coach for nearly 20 years. A hectic schedule that takes a player away from practices and games causes frustration and a less

favorable morale among the coaches and other players. Jerman says that full schedules can have an impact on the way peers interact with the busy player when they notice that the frequent absences affect the potential of the team. “You miss practices — some on strategy or some on systems. When it comes to game time, he is not going to have that system down, and what is going to happen, ultimately, is that he is not going to see as much play time. It opens up a can of worms when the parents start asking, ‘Why isn’t my child getting more play time?’” Overwhelmed children, according to Jerman, have no energy, do not want to attend practices, feel frustrated about performance and get more criticism about their performance from coaches,

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

“We ask them frequently, ‘Are you having fun doing this? If you’re not having fun, then we’re not going to do it. —Jamie Bumbalough

other players and parents. “They are getting that ‘Come on! You’ve got to get your head up and focus’ from the adults. Then they won’t go to those adults about their feelings of frustration because they know what they’re going to get. They’re going to get, ‘You have to work harder. You have to focus.’” Jerman suggests that one way to avoid burnout with a child is to create a variation in activities throughout the year. For hockey players, he advises playing soccer or lacrosse in other seasons so that they can continue the development of the same movement and systems while enjoying a break from hockey. He says the intensity of a child’s schedule depends on the age. In the case of exhaustion in a younger player, the coach needs to discuss the situation with parents and possibly recommend a short break in the activity. In high school, however, making connections in a busy schedule is “part of growing up, part of the maturity process, dealing with stresses,” he says. “It comes down to having a coach that is going to take an interest in your player personally as

well as athletically.” The long-term results of adolescents keeping intense schedules can include various forms of major depressive disorders and anxiety disorders, Miller says. In children younger than 10, it is less common to see these disorders unless a child has been pushed excessively. She gives an example of a parent living vicariously through a child by requiring that the child either relive a parent’s successful childhood activities or live out what the parent wished he had been able to do. In any case, lowered self-esteem is associated with children not being able to fulfill expectations that have been imposed upon them. Miller suggests that parents use the child’s expressed interests as a guide, in addition to offering opportunities that enhance skills the child has been observed to possess or things that follow closely with other interests. “I would support your child’s drive as long as you don’t see the adverse side effects that tell you that you have crossed the line as far as the time and energy commitment.” *she

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AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Last in a Series

Merry Carmichael By barney quick photos by greg jones

Columbusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; history is peppered with legendary women. They have titles including movie star, television producer, sculptor, chef, publisher and diplomat. Others lived modest lives, but all played a vital role in making Columbus the thriving community it is today. We conclude this series with a modern woman who has promoted independent education for two generations of Columbus children.

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

The real proof that someone believes in a dream is her willingness to immerse herself in every detail of making it a reality. By that criterion, Merry Carmichael certainly believed in ABC-Stewart School, a private Montessori-based preschool and elementary school on the city’s west side that continues to thrive after her retirement from active administration. If her approach to educating the very young can be distilled to two sentences, it may be these: “Talk to children on your knees, at their eye level. It is the child who is the important thing, not the teacher.” Carmichael inched gradually toward the ABC-Stewart vision over the first three decades of her life. She spent her childhood in Brockton, Massachusetts, and her adolescence in Elmhurst, Illinois. The pastor of her family’s church knew of her desire to be a director of religious education and took her to see Baker University in

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Baldwin City, Kansas, which she attended. Later, however, she was so impressed with Indiana University’s Bloomington campus on a visit to her brother that she transferred there and then changed majors several times. It’s there she also met her husband, Tom. He worked for several years for Sears, and the family lived for a while in Findlay, Ohio. In 1967, they moved to Columbus. Eventually, Merry and Tom had four children. She spent some time teaching in the public school system. In the late 1960s, she decided to start her own school, based on two motivations: the desire to stay at home with her own children, and reading a book about the approach of Italian educational theorist Maria Montessori. “I was inspired by what it said about how you cannot put the method before the creativity,” she says. “A child should follow his or her own inner direction. The

conventional 20th-century view of education was acculturating kids to be quiet and follow direction, to prepare them for a life of industrial work.” She took classes on the Montessori approach at the Adler School in Chicago and at IUPUI. She attended conferences and met several influential figures in the movement. In 1969, she put an ad in The Republic soliciting students for a preschool and also distributed brochures. “My public school supervisor kept my job open, because he didn’t think I’d get this thing off the ground in time,” she says. By late summer, she had 30 children age 3 to 5 enrolled. She chose the ABC part of the name simply because “it sounded good.” The “Stewart” portion, in memory of her late mother, was added later. ABC operated out of the Carmichaels’ basement for the first two years. It struggled financially. “I charged families next to nothing,” she recalls. In 1971, the school moved to a 2,000-square-foot barracks space at what is now Columbus Municipal Airport. Tom says, “The fire marshal was very pleased to get it out of our basement.” Merry recalls by name the myriad people who helped in the early years, such as Julie Riester, who “painted animals and flowers on the walls. Others saw Julie and me painting, and they’d go home, change clothes, bring food back and help us.” She eventually had to revamp the budget and enlist the help of Columbus civic and business leaders. She cites Irwin Miller and Art Kroot as two such figures who notably stepped up to support the school. The elementary school was added in 1977, based on growing parental interest in continuing the Montessori approach through the sixth grade. Finances were still a challenge. “I had trouble meeting payroll,” she says. “I’d call local business leaders and ask them to see the school and write me a check.” In the early 1980s, the school’s current site, the former Kent Elementary School on west State Road 46, became available. “The challenge was that it consisted of

closed classrooms,” she explains. “We put metal beams in load-bearing walls and doorways between every room to create open space.” The original lease from Bartholomew Consolidated School Corp. was a dollar a year, but ABC-Stewart was responsible for maintenance. “An open arrangement is important to our approach, so kids of all ages know each other,” she says. “It’s not uncommon to see sixth-graders helping kindergartners with some concept.” Programs that her staff has established over the years include participation in a private school sports league, yearly field trips to cities such as Washington, D.C., and Chicago, and holiday pageants. The Washington trip includes a White House tour and meetings with members of Congress. Merry was hospitalized in 2009 with a lung ailment, which inconvenienced her from a transportation standpoint, but didn’t take her out of action. “I’d ride my

bike 20 miles a day with an oxygen tank on my back,” she says. A cancer diagnosis followed. She eventually retired, although she remains board chairwoman at ABCStewart. Other current activities include serving on the session at First Presbyterian Church and participation in a book club. Her advice for young women is interesting, given her focus on her career throughout her life: “If you are lucky enough to have a family, always put your family and their needs first, ahead of work, organizations and volunteering. In the end, it’s all about family. It is amazing how much love your children and grandchildren will return to you. Be worthy of it.” *she

Carmichael holds one of the oldest handbooks still on file at ABC-Stewart Montessori School.

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AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Summertime —and the cookin’ is easy 42

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Wraps and salads make great meals; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re easy to assemble and so refreshing when itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hot outside. wire reports

Shades of Green Salad Start to finish: 20 minutes active (plus 30 minutes marinating) Servings: 6

With salad season in full swing, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inevitable that you soon will be sick of your go-to mix of greens. So we decided to create a green salad that will keep you coming back for more. And not a single leafy green is harmed in the making of this meal.

12 ounces fresh green beans, cut into 2-inch pieces 1 bunch asparagus, cut into 2-inch pieces 1 cup snow peas, sliced lengthwise 1 medium zucchini, halved, seeds scraped out, then cut into thin half moons 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 2 tablespoons grated shallot Zest and juice of 1 orange 2 tablespoons sherry vinegar 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard Kosher salt and ground black pepper 1 avocado, sliced Manchego cheese, to serve Fresh dill, to serve Honey, to serve

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Fill a large bowl with ice water and have it near the stove. Add the green beans to the boiling water and blanch for 1 to 2 minutes, or until crisp-tender and bright green. Use a slotted spoon to quickly transfer them from the boiling water to the ice water. While the green beans cool, add the asparagus to the boiling water and blanch for 3 to 4 minutes, depending on the thickness of the stalks, until just barely tender. Transfer the asparagus to the ice water with the green beans. Once they have cooled, drain the green beans and asparagus, pat them dry and transfer to a large bowl. Add the snow peas and zucchini. In a small bowl, whisk together the olive oil, shallot, orange zest and juice, vinegar and mustard. Season with salt and pepper. Pour the dressing over the vegetables and stir gently to coat well. For best flavor, allow the vegetables to marinate in the dressing for at least 30 minutes. Serve topped with sliced avocado, grated manchego cheese, sprigs of dill and a drizzle of honey.

Nutrition information per serving: 200 calories; 110 calories from fat (55 percent of total calories); 13 g fat (3 g saturated; 0 g trans fats); 10 mg cholesterol; 18 g carbohydrate; 7 g fiber; 9 g sugar; 7 g protein; 130 mg sodium.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

Summer Wraps Start to finish: 35 minutes Servings: 4

2 chicken breasts, about 1 pound Âź cup nonfat Greek yogurt with honey (You can also add honey, about 2 teaspoons to 1 tablespoon, to plain yogurt.) 3 tablespoons each: cider vinegar, chopped fresh tarragon (or basil or mint) 2 tablespoons each: olive oil, bacon bits 2 green onions, chopped 1 small, unpeeled Granny Smith apple, cored, diced (A half cup of dried cranberries could substitute for the apple.) 1 teaspoon salt or to taste Freshly ground pepper 3 cups (about) baby spinach or other salad greens 4 flour tortillas or flatbreads (10-inch size)

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

Prepare a grill for medium heat or heat a grill pan over medium heat; grill chicken, turning halfway through, about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool. Combine the yogurt, vinegar, tarragon, oil, bacon bits, green onion, apple, salt and pepper to taste in a large bowl. By this time, the chicken will have cooled; coarsely chop into bite-size pieces. Stir chicken into yogurt mixture. Distribute the spinach among the tortillas; top with the filling. Wrap ends around the filling and serve.

Nutrition information per serving: 462 calories, 16 g fat, 4 g saturated fat, 68 mg cholesterol, 44 g carbohydrates, 34 g protein, 1,516 mg sodium, 3 g fiber

Sun-Dried Tomato Macaroni Salad Start to finish: 2½ hours (30 minutes active) Servings: 10

16 ounces dried small pasta (such as elbow or farfalle) ½ cup oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained 1/3 cup white balsamic vinegar ½ teaspoon kosher salt ½ teaspoon ground black pepper 1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar ½ cup light mayonnaise ½ cup fat-free plain Greek yogurt 1 red bell pepper, cored and diced 1 fennel bulb, trimmed and diced (You could substitute whatever vegetables you prefer. Lightly blanched carrots or green beans, as well as chopped radishes and raw corn kernels would be a fine start.) 8 ounces fresh mozzarella pearls (very small balls) 3 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano 3 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme 3 tablespoons chopped fresh chives

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the pasta and cook according to package directions. Drain the pasta and spread on a rimmed baking sheet to cool. While the pasta cooks, prepare the dressing. In a blender, combine the sun-dried tomatoes, vinegar, salt, pepper, brown sugar, mayonnaise and yogurt. Blend until smooth, then set aside. In a large bowl, combine the dressing with the cooled pasta, bell pepper, fennel, mozzarella and herbs. For best flavor, cover and chill for at least 2 hours before serving. Nutrition information per serving: 300 calories; 90 calories from fat (30 percent of total calories); 10 g fat (4 g saturated; 0 g trans fats); 20 mg cholesterol; 42 g carbohydrate; 3 g fiber; 5 g sugar; 11 g protein; 200 mg sodium.

AUGUST 2014 // she magazine

(From left) Spencer Thompson, Nick Partin and Vic Thompson. Submitted photo.

By spencer thompson

When Opportunity Knocks …

even years ago I felt like I was back in high school. I was working at a job where I showed up and then stared at the clock, impatiently waiting to go home. I didn’t want to be there and was of no value to the company. It didn’t take long for me to realize this job would not become a career, but it did give me something I couldn’t get anywhere else: I met Heather, who is now my wife. I had the person who made me happy and now I needed the career. Eventually Heather and I realized that the obvious choice was for me to join my family business. It

She Magazine // AUGUST 2014

was a business I grew up with, was familiar with and cared about. But most of all it would give me the opportunity to work and learn from my dad. Having the chance to learn from someone you trust and from someone who wanted me to be successful is the best feeling. If this environment was work, then I liked work. Being alongside my dad every day, learning from someone I consider the best at our profession, is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I do not take for granted. What happened to me seven years ago is happening again. I am the youngest of five boys. All of my broth-

ers live outside Indiana with their families and were involved in careers that they love and are successful at. I thought the next time this would all happen again is when my kids started their careers, but I recently was pleasantly surprised. My brother Nick and I have always talked about working together, but I think for both of us this was a dream more than anything, one that probably would never come true. It was just fun to wish over a few beers. Last April I was in North Carolina for a furniture show, staying with Nick’s family at their home near Charlotte. One day I returned from the show, excited about all the new things I had seen. Nick, on the other hand, was not as excited. During his work day he had been informed that the department he worked in was no longer with the company. Everybody had been let go. I wasn’t sure to how to react and how to console him, so we just began to talk as if nothing had happened. I think within the first five minutes of our talk, it came up that this was the opportunity for us to work together. Something we both had wanted but thought unrealistic became reality in no time.

Of course Nick had to think and talk to his family as I did with mine, but we both were excited during a time where typically one person is really down and the people around him just feel bad and don’t know what they can do to help. Three weeks after I left, Nick moved back to Columbus to join my dad and me in our family business. The way all of this has happened for me over the last seven years is so unbelievable. Everything I wanted has come true. I have a family, I work with my dad and mentor daily, and I now have the opportunity to work alongside a brother who has really been a role model of mine. For my entire career I will have a partner I trust, one who trusts me and will be at my side for the long haul. Opportunities come and go; sometimes you just get lucky. I feel extremely lucky knowing I get to go to work every day with my dad and brother.

Spencer Thompson, his wife, Heather, and their daughter, Stella, reside in Columbus. He is the owner of Thompson Furniture, a business that has been in their family since 1927.

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AUGUST 2014 // she magazine