2016 Wedding Planner Published by the Daily Journal
FEATURES 10 16 24 28
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Dress Trends Morgan and Loren Snyder Ring Styles Using Succulents in Decor
EVERYTHING ELSE 6 8 31 32 34
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Ceremony Countdown and Planning Roles of the Wedding Party Ask Carley: Wedding Q&A Wedding Guest Perils Budget Worksheet
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January 31, 2016 Southside Wedding is published by the Daily Journal. EDITOR: Paul Hoffman WRITERS: Cheryl Fiscus Jenkins, Jennifer Willhite DESIGN: Amanda Waltz, Margo Wininger ON THE COVER: Morgan and Loren Snyder. Photo by Amanda DeBusk Photography For editorial content, contact Paul Hoffman in the Daily Journal special publications department at 317-736-2721 or by email at phoffman@dailyjournal.net. For advertising content, contact the Daily Journal advertising department at 317-736-2730. Southside Wedding, c/o Daily Journal, 30 S. Water St. Suite A, Franklin, IN 46131 Š 2016 by AIM Media Indiana, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction of stories, photographs and advertisements without permission is prohibited. Stock images provided by iStock.
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Countdown to the big day
To help you get a better understanding of how to plan a wedding and when you should be making certain decisions, here’s a time frame you can follow that should ensure that your wedding goes off as smoothly as possible.
10 to 12 Months Before
If you haven’t done it already, this is a good time to announce your engagement and introduce your respective families. Since most reception halls and churches have busy wedding schedules, it is also important to book both as early as possible, preferably at least a year in advance of your wedding day. It’s also a good idea to start putting together a guest list around this time and ask your parents whom they’d like to invite as well. Also, since your budget will determine just about every aspect of your wedding, sitting down and determining what you can spend and developing a savings plan should be first and foremost.
6 to 9 Months Before
This is the time when you want to start booking some services, such as a florist, caterer, a DJ/band and a photographer. However, some of the more experienced DJs and bands, as well as photographers, might have their schedules booked a year in advance, so this might be something you’ll want to consider doing shortly after you get engaged and choose a date. Also, this is a good time to inform any guests who will be traveling significant distances of the date of your wedding. The earlier your guests can book a flight, the less expensive that flight will be. This is also a good time to order gowns for both the bride and bridesmaids, as some manufacturers require a few months to ship to bridal shops. You might want to ask someone, such as your priest or rabbi, to be the officiant of your wedding. And much like out-oftown guests will save travel dollars the earlier they learn of your wedding date, you will likely save money, too, if you book your honeymoon around this time.
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4 to 5 Months Before
This is a good time to decide on wedding invitations, of which there are many styles to choose from. Also, now is ideal to start hunting for a wedding cake by sampling a number of different bakeries’ cakes before ultimately making a decision. Just to be sure, confirm that all of the bridesmaids have ordered their gowns and start looking for a tuxedo for the groom as well as the groomsmen. If you haven’t done so already, purchase your wedding rings and let any other people you’d like to participate in your wedding (ushers, readers during the ceremony, etc.) know of your intentions.
2 to 3 Months Before
Finalize your guest list and mail out your invitations. If your guest list includes a considerable amount of people who are spread out geographically, mail the invitations as close to 12 weeks in advance as possible. This is also a good time to finalize your menu choices for your guests, and find all your wedding accessories such as the ring pillow, candles, etc. Also, since it is tradition to provide gifts for those in the wedding party as well as the parents of the bride and groom, this is a good time to decide on and purchase those gifts. Just to be safe, confirm that all groomsmen have ordered their tuxedos and finalize all transportation, both to and from the wedding and to the airport for your honeymoon.
1 to 2 Months Before
Schedule the first bridal-gown fitting. Also finalize the readings you’d prefer during the ceremony and mail them out to anyone who has agreed to do a reading. If your family prefers to host a small gathering for close family and friends after the wedding rehearsal, the night before the wedding, this is a good time to order any food or drinks you might want to serve that night, or make a restaurant reservation.
3 to 4 Weeks Before
Confirm your honeymoon arrangements and see if your wedding rings are ready. This is also when you should get your marriage license and check the guest list to see who has and hasn’t RSVP’d. For those who have yet to RSVP, you might want to contact them so you can get a closer idea of what the head count will be. You should also prepare and order your wedding program around this time.
1 to 2 Weeks Before
Get a final attendance count and submit it to the caterer as soon as you know of it, while also providing a final seating chart. Pick up the wedding gown and tuxedo. Make sure the wedding party picks up their attire. Also, finalize your vows and confirm all wedding-day details such as transportation, photo schedules and addresses. And don’t forget to pack for your honeymoon.
The Day Before
This is mainly when you rehearse for the ceremony and make any final confirmations you might have to make. Also, make sure to get some sleep so you’ll look good in all of your wedding-day photos.
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Roles of
wedding party
Participants —Story by Metro Creative—
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Bridesmaids
wedding can be a wonderful and memorable experience for all of those involved. That’s why you ask friends or relatives to share in the event and serve in your wedding party. Your offer is a wonderful honor, one that carries with it varying degrees of responsibility depending on the role each person will be playing. To help you decide who to ask to be in your wedding party, here is a list of titles and responsibilities for each participant’s role.
Maid of Honor
The maid of honor is a role typically filled by a sister or a very close friend. It is the equivalent of the groom’s best man. The maid of honor’s role, therefore, is typically very involved. Among her many responsibilities, the maid of honor accompanies the bride on shopping trips for her wedding dress while also planning the bridal shower, bachelorette party and coordinating the bridal party gift for the bride. Also, the maid of honor helps the bride get dressed on her wedding day, holds the groom’s wedding ring during the wedding and may also help in the writing of invitations. The maid of honor will also typically act as a witness to the wedding and dance with the best man at the reception. If the woman you’re asking is married, her title will be matron of honor.
Best Man
Perhaps the most well-known responsibilities of the best man are organizing the bachelor party and giving the toast at the reception. But the best man, who is typically a brother or best friend of the groom, also has a slew of other responsibilities. In addition to helping the groom choose his tuxedo and get dressed before the wedding, the best man coordinates the couple’s gift from the groomsmen and takes care of the newlyweds’ transportation to the airport after the reception or the next morning. The best man may also hold onto any payment that’s due to the reception site or the donation for the house of worship, and take care of any final financial details. He also holds the bride’s wedding ring during the ceremony.
Along with walking in the wedding procession, bridesmaids attend the shower and contribute to the bridal gifts. Bridesmaids, who are typically sisters or friends of the bride or groom, also dance with the groomsmen during the reception. To be further involved, each can be given specific roles, like reading a religious passage at the ceremony, providing assistance with choosing wedding vendors or helping to address wedding invitations.
Groomsmen
Groomsmen are the male equivalent of the bridesmaids, typically having nearly identical responsibilities. Sometimes, groomsmen can act as ushers for guests arriving at the ceremony. Groomsmen walk in the wedding processional and attend and help organize the bachelor party, as well.
Parents of the Bride
The bride’s parents may be responsible for hosting the wedding, if they will be completely financially responsible for the event. In some cases, the father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle alone, but in other instances or in religious ceremonies, both parents may accompany the bride. In all cases, it’s her preference. The mother of the bride may help fund or contribute to the planning of the bridal shower if the maid of honor needs assistance. These parents may also foot the cost of an engagement party or dinner to meet the groom’s family.
Flower Girl
If the bride has a sister who is especially young, that sister typically fills the role of flower girl. Since most flower girls are very young, their responsibilities are generally limited to carrying a basket of flowers during the processional and, depending on the bride’s preference, tossing flower petals on the ground to mark the bride’s entrance.
Ring Bearer
Like the flower girl, the ring bearer is a very young member of the family, only the ring bearer is a male. The ring bearer’s role is to carry a pillow with the rings sewn on it during the processional. Some couples choose to have the ring bearer and the flower girl walk next to one another during the processional.
Parents of the Groom
The groom’s parents should host a rehearsal dinner prior to the wedding. They may also choose to contribute to the wedding if they desire. In most cases, the groom’s parents have limited responsibilities, but can be involved as much as the wedding couple would like. Traditionally, the groom’s mother confers with the bride’s mother on what color gown she is wearing, so as not to go with the same shade. The groom’s parents may walk down the aisle in advance of the rest of the wedding processional and take their seats.
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Getting to ‘
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| dress trends | —Story by Jennifer Willhite—
‘yes’
for the
Dress
More color and comfortable style add to appeal of gowns
For 2016, brides are taking the idea of traditional wedding attire and making it their own. Trends in bridal wear are leaning away from the traditional white to embrace subtle shades of white, such as ivory, which don’t make the bride look washed out, says Terry Kutsko of That Special Touch in Columbus. “Ivory looks better on a lot of people,” Kutsko says. “It complements their skin tone more so than white.” Another thing to consider is that traditions associated with a white wedding dress are not as steadfast as they used to be, Kutsko says. Many of today’s brides are adding muted pops of color to their gowns. In the past, a bride may have gone for something bold, like a navy, burgundy or black sash or belt, but in recent years many are adding a champagne, light pink or light gold overlay to their ivory gowns, Kutsko says.
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| dress trends | Some brides even opt for pink overall. “They call it blush pink,” says Veronica Schneider of Prestigious Affairs in Seymour. “You really can’t tell it is pink until you’re right up on it.” Gown styles, for both the bride and her bridesmaids, are shying away from the traditional ball gown reminiscent of Cinderella and moving toward those with a modern flair. Oftentimes, the bridesmaids’ dresses will complement the bride’s gown in style and color. “Strapless bridesmaid gowns are still in and will continue to stay in for a while,” says Traci DeBord of That Special Touch. “One shoulder strap is a huge trend right now, as well as cap sleeves, tiered bodices and skirts, and open backs.” Additionally, sweetheart and modest necklines are the go-to style for many brides, she says. DeBord and Kutsko agree that long dresses are still popular, but not so much those with a cathedral length train. Dresses with more manageable trains, which are easier to walk in, are gaining in popularity, they say. Schneider says she’s found that many brides bypass long trains for styles that are simple, straight and flowy. The mermaid, a style that is fitted and flares out below the knee, is also gaining in popularity. Kutsko and DeBord agree that body type shouldn’t play much of a role in the style of dress a bride chooses. It’s all about what she is comfortable in. However, if you are truly concerned about how you may look in your gown, you can’t go wrong with a dress that has an empire waist, Schneider says. “Anything that is tight in the bust and flows out beneath it is always a great dress no matter what your figure is,” she says. “Because it is always at the hips where people say, ‘I want to cover this up.’” Where simplistic, single color chiffon used to be the go-to fabric for gowns, today’s brides are mixing things up by adding lace and/or satin to the chiffon, Schneider says. Although traditional white gowns may be less popular, the idea of something borrowed and something blue is still huge. Especially when the elements are added in remembrance of a loved one who has died, Schneider says. It is not uncommon for a bride who has lost her father to incorporate a part of his clothing into her dress. “If they’ve had a grandfather or dad pass away, for something blue they will have a heart — cut from the fabric of an old shirt he wore that was or had blue in it — stitched on the inside of the dress where no one sees it but her.” Similarly, brides may add their late grandmother or mother’s broach or string of pearls to the bouquet they carry, which is not only a tribute but serves as something borrowed.
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“One shoulder strap is a huge trend right now, as well as cap sleeves, tiered bodices and skirts, and open backs.” —Traci DeBord, That Special Touch
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| dress trends | For many brides-to-be, budget can play a big role in finding the perfect gown. However, you shouldn’t let that dissuade you from finding the dress of your dreams. Simply shop around and remember you have options. If you find traditional gowns a bit pricey, bridesmaid dresses can offer the same elegance and style you would find with a traditional bridal gown. “There are some pretty bridesmaid dresses that are lace or have lace on them,” Kutsko says. “We’ve done those quite a few times for bridal gowns, and it works out really well.” So what about dresses for your bridesmaids? Schneider advises that you get your dress first, then start looking for your bridesmaids’ attire. “They don’t have to look like your dress,” she says. “It’s whatever you think looks nice and what you want your ladies to wear.” Navy blue, coral, hot pink and royal colors are most popular for bridesmaid dresses right now, she says. To avoid unnecessary drama and disagreements, take your bridesmaids in two by two to look at the possibilities, Schneider recommends. Once everyone in the bridal party has had the opportunity to look at dresses, go with the consensus and pick a dress that is a compromise. The main thing overall is to start shopping early. You don’t want to be rushed and have to settle for something less than what you’ve envisioned. You may have an idea of the perfect dress in mind, but try to keep an open mind when shopping around. Just because you believe that dress you found on Pinterest may be the one, it doesn’t hurt to be open to similar styles, DeBord says.
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Newlyweds Morgan and Loren Snyder embrace city lifestyle
Story by Cheryl Fiscus Jenkins Photography by Amanda DeBusk Photography
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Loren proposes outside Morgan’s sorority house on Butler’s campus.
Morgan and Loren Snyder share a love for bulldogs at sporting events and in the home. Butler University graduates and newlyweds, they spend time at the college’s many activities and as a newly formed family with pet bulldogs Bailey and Franklin. Loren imagined his future as part of a lifelong couple, and he let Morgan know on their first date he was looking to settle down with the perfect woman. She was skeptical, remembering back to their college days. She let her future husband pursue her for almost two months before finally agreeing to go on what she called a “pity date.” “There was an element of maybe he’s grown up a little bit,” said the 2007 Butler graduate. “But he was still a frat boy.” The love story began at Butler, as Loren washed dishes for three years for Morgan’s Kappa Alpha Theta house. Morgan, 30, describes the gig as being paid to have lunch every day with 80 sorority girls. “The best job I ever had,” said Loren, a 2008 graduate of Butler and 2004 graduate of Franklin Community High School. “Truly it was an awesome job.”
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The couple never dated in college, but a friendship developed during and after school when they parted ways to pursue professional development and establish themselves personally. Both had dated plenty when they finally agreed upon a first date in Indianapolis at Mesh on Mass. Ave. in 2012. “At some point, you have to commit yourself,” Loren said. After three years of dating, the two married Aug. 8, 2015, in a city glamour meets country chic event with the wedding and reception held at The Barn at Kennedy Farm in Lizton. The venue is a newer establishment made to look older, and the rustic theme carried through from the barn-look invitations to the cocktail hour hors d’oeuvres of Southern-
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style deviled eggs and mini chicken and waffles. The 30-minute ceremony took place at 6:30 p.m. on a sunny 78-degree day on a decorative stage under two oak trees. The wedding programs doubled as fans in case the summer’s heat lingered that evening. The ceremony was officiated by a longtime mentor and friend of the bride, who surprised the couple with a Butler banner from the school’s Final Four fame. Morgan, originally from Kentucky, wore a fitted and somewhat flared strapless designer gown with a bustle. It was the first one she tried while shopping in Cincinnati for the perfect look. The groom, 30, and his seven attendants wore gray, slim-fit suits with champagne pink ties and brown belts and shoes, while the bridesmaids wore
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Clockwise from top left: Bridesmaid Lindsay Bowles Krech and Morgan. Balloons were released at the cocktail reception. Morgan and bridesmaids practice a surprise dance. Seating assignments.
champagne pink floral dresses. The couple, who live in Indianapolis, chose suits instead of tuxes and simple bridesmaids dresses that could easily be worn again to offset the expense of being in the wedding. They also made the whole weekend an experience to remember for attendants and guests. Festivities began on Friday with a late morning rehearsal at The Barn, followed by field games, such as tug of war, at White River State Park. The rehearsal dinner was on the fifth floor terrace at Regions Tower in Indianapolis, overlooking the city.
The men played basketball at Hinkle Fieldhouse on the day of the wedding, wearing jerseys that were part of the groom’s wedding favors. They dressed for the event in the locker room, while the women got ready at Morgan’s former residence. Mid-afternoon, the women were bused to Butler for the first round of pictures, and then the whole party was transported to The Barn. The Snyders embellished the ceremony and reception with the theme of the day — love. They let attendants walk to the stage with anyone who was important to
them, which included spouses, siblings and parents. At the cocktail reception following the wedding, each guest released a balloon tied with an intimate quote to spread love in honor of the couple. “We were at that age where we had been to a lot of weddings,” Morgan said. “We wanted to remind people of the love.” The Snyders added a loving touch by writing their vows. When Morgan wanted to kiss Loren a little too soon after saying her vows, the two looked at each other, realized they couldn’t kiss yet and fist bumped instead. SouthsideWedding
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“It was a spontaneous, funny moment that was very unplanned,” Morgan said. The reception was a mix of old and new with vintage, mismatched floral plates and centerpiece vases holding decorative flowers. The menu consisted of fried chicken, pulled pork barbecue, tomato and cucumber salad, green beans and mashed potatoes. They relied on local establishments to help with everything from the flowers to the food and beer. Guests received their seating assignment by matching Scrabble pieces. And instead of serving cake, friends and family had their choice of chocolate, coconut, lemon, apple, cherry or peach pie. “My whole goal for the day was to make it a unique experience,” Loren said. In honor of his Aug. 9 birthday, guests sang “Happy Birthday” to the groom, and Morgan and friends performed a choreographed dance routine to a mix of hit songs.
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The Snyders became engaged Aug. 20, 2014, and had a year to plan the event. The festive tone was set after Loren coordinated an elaborate citywide scavenger hunt engagement involving many of Morgan’s friends, co-workers and family. It was a Wednesday night, and the evening started with a fake meeting put on the brideto-be’s calendar. Her boss at Visit Indy, where Morgan works as director of leisure communications, handed her a clue to go from the Indiana Convention Center to the Conrad Indianapolis. To capture the events, she left with a GoPro camcorder strapped to her head. “As embarrassing as it was to wear a GoPro around the city, it was nice to have it on video,” she said. Friends at the Conrad had another clue, sending her to their first date location of Mesh, then to the Indianapolis Zoo, to The Red Room in Broad Ripple and finally to her sorority house, where Loren greeted her with an 8-by-8-foot Scrabble board asking Morgan to marry him. She said yes to a life with Loren and credits their parents for being loving role models for lasting marriages. Loren, vice president and financial consultant at Hilliard Lyons in Bloomington and who served on the Johnson County Council for three years, cites his brother-
in-law and sister for remodeling a successful marriage. The Snyders are planning a honeymoon in South Africa for early 2016, where they will explore wine country and Cape Town and take a safari. They will continue to merge their lifestyles and households, settling into their new residence in downtown Indianapolis. They both love traveling, Butler sporting Corbie Snyder, mother events, trying new of the groom, and restaurants, being active Loren dance to “Mama” and acclimating their by Boys II Men. pet bulldogs to bustling city life. Morgan says she’s a Type A personality, except for when house cleaning is involved, where Loren picks up the slack. He is more spontaneous, which is good for her she says. “We complement each other well in the homestead,” Loren said.
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| jewelry trends | —Story by Jennifer Willhite—
Personal touches becoming more common
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s we start the New Year, wedding jewelry is personalized and all that glitters isn’t just gold. White gold tops the list of the mostsought-after metal in engagement and wedding jewelry, but it has some competitors that are not far behind, experts say. Jennifer Demmary, director of merchandising for Reis-Nichols Jewelers in Indianapolis, says that although white gold leads the pack, more people are interested in rose and yellow gold. And if you can’t settle on just one, no worries. “More people are interested in having some accents,” she says. “Some may get a white gold ring with a rose gold accent.” Regardless of the metal chosen, the halo setting is one of the most requested, she says. The setting is designed so that the center stone is completely surrounded by smaller diamonds, giving it a halo effect, hence its name. Although round is still the most popular diamond shape, oval and cushion-cut diamonds are competing for second place, Demmary says. A diamond that is cushion-cut is rectangular in shape but has soft, rounded edges. Tina Burton, co-owner of Columbus Gold and Diamond Outlet in Columbus, says many young couples are looking for larger stones than couples did in years past. Whereas they used to seek out one-half carat diamonds, today they’re buying one carat or larger. And some aren’t looking for your typical white diamond. Demmary says a big topic of conversation in the diamond industry currently involves fancier colored diamonds, rough-cut diamonds and black diamonds. And although it sounds cool and different in theory, the actual interest in and purchase of these rare diamonds is minimal. If anything, engagement and wedding rings are becoming more of a reflection of the bride-to-be’s style. “What we have found is a lot of customers want to make it their own,” she says. “In reality, when they come in much of the
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| jewelry trends |
“In reality, when they come in much of the ring ends up being the same, but there are touches of personalization so it’s not something everyone else has.” —Jennifer Demmary, Reis Nichols
ring ends up being the same, but there are touches of personalization so it’s not something everyone else has.” When it comes to trends in men’s bands, there’s a big surge afoot. Many men are shunning the traditional white gold band for something a bit different. “You’re seeing a lot of cobalt, titanium and tungsten,” Demmary says. “They cost less than traditional metals.” Muted and more masculine in appearance, the bands may also be mixed with carbon fiber or wood to give them an even more oneof-a-kind look. Some of the metals, such as tungsten, are more durable than a traditional gold band, but they can’t be sized as easily, so in many instances must be special ordered.
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Elegant, Affordable Catering! Burton says that women still like to add a little additional shimmer to their bands with diamonds. They may be prong or channel set, depending on preference. While wraps were once the go-to enhancer for any solitaire, they’ve faded in popularity in recent years, Burton says. But that may not be for long. “There’s a bit of a turn with them coming back,” she says. “But right now it’s mainly just the engagement ring and band the ladies are wanting.” In lieu of a wrap, accent stones are a great way to add a touch of color and personalization to any engagement ring and wedding set. Adding accent stones to the mounting either to the side or beneath the center stone is a common request, Demmary says.
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When it comes to the bridal party, personalization is again a big trend. At the top of the list of most popular gifts are personalized bar necklaces and pearl bracelets, Demmary says. And these aren’t your grandmother’s white pearls. Today’s bridesmaids are sporting pearl bracelets to match the wedding party’s colors. “Again, it’s all about personalization,” Demmary says. “The bride may also choose a particular charm to put on a necklace for the bridesmaids.” The main thing to keep in mind when shopping for engagement and wedding jewelry is to start early. Not only does it save hassle down the road, but it also makes it easier on those who are designing and crafting your rings, she says. “There’s nothing more heartbreaking than to know what the customer wants, but be unable to do it because there’s not enough time,” she says. “I hate to see people rushed and have to make quick decisions.”
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Succulents lend rustic, elegant chic to modern weddings —Story by Sarah Wolfe | Associated Press—
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ucculents are showing up everywhere in the world of weddings, from bouquets and boutonnieres to centerpieces and even take-home favors. They're dainty yet hardy, and come in a surprising array of colors and textures. Best of all, they're eco-friendly and can be replanted at home after your nuptials as a reminder of the special day. "Succulents add a modern look," says Viva Max Kaley, a New York-based wedding planner. "Instead of pretty petals, it's a cool geometric use of lines. My clients tend to gravitate toward that aesthetic, so it's been a really popular choice." Robbin Watson, a 27-year-old living in Boston who is getting married in Connecticut in July, is using succulents to add a pop of dusty blue and mint green to her cream-colored bridal and bridesmaid bouquets. But while she loves their aesthetic, succulents are more of a sentimental choice for her. "I lived on the West Coast for a few years with my fiancĂŠ, where succulents are very prevalent. Not so much in the New England region, where I live now," Watson says. "To bring a little West Coast into my wedding ceremony, I thought succulents would be a great way to incorporate my memories of living in San Diego."
Taylor Cassard, a 27-year-old nursing student in Montana, used a variety of light green rosetteshaped succulents from the Echeveria family in her bouquet for a rustic yet modern look when she got married at a guest ranch in Big Sky this summer. "They were absolutely gorgeous and mixed so nicely with the other flowers to create a soft natural look," says Cassard, who planted some of the succulents post-ceremony in metal buckets used by her flower children. Many wedding florists recommend sprinkling succulents among traditional flowers rather than creating an all-succulent bouquet, which can get heavy and bulky-looking. The plants' vibrant green and sometimes purple colors pair especially well with jewel tones, burgundy and apricot
BRIDAL BOUQUETS Bouquets like Watson's are the most obvious and popular way to use succulents in weddings. Debra Prinzing, Seattle-based author and founder of the eco-conscious floral directory site SlowFlowers.com, says the trend has been popular among California brides for years but has really taken off thanks to social media sites like Pinterest and Instagram. Demand for drought-hardy succulents in the gardening world has also made these once hardto-find plants readily available year-round across the U.S. and at a cheaper price than more traditional wedding flowers, like roses and peonies.
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shades. According to Prinzing, succulents are a particularly nice complement to dahlias, hydrangeas, lilies, orchids, roses and spring bulb flowers. BOUTONNIERES AND CENTERPIECES Succulents can feel like a more "masculine" floral accent and have become a popular choice for boutonnieres as a result, says Anastasia Stevenson, a wedding planner and founder of the website How to DIY Wedding. They're sturdy and can stand up to the rigors of being pinned to a jacket that's tossed about all day. Succulents make good corsages for the same reason. Cassard used a mix of small, rosette-shaped succulents and wild grasses for rustic-yet-elegant boutonnieres, sprinkling the plants throughout her reception area that night as table centerpieces and cake accents. Rosette-shaped Echeverias like those Cassard used work well as centerpieces because they can grow up to a foot in diameter, according to Prinzing. OTHER USES How about succulents as jewelry? Wiring and flower glue are keys to this recent bridal trend, which includes items from rings and necklaces to
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bracelets and headpieces, says Prinzing. Other couples have said their vows before a wall of succulents or used them as eco-friendly wedding favors — a parting gift that's "unlikely to be tossed in the trash when the guests arrive home," says New York-based wedding-trends expert and editor Anne Chertoff. And succulents aren't just for people. "I know of one creative designer who offers floral dog collars for her wedding parties," Prinzing says. "Succulents are ideal for this situation because they withstand canine activities that are probably more lively than a groom or bride's movements during a ceremony."
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QUESTION My fiance and I want just one wedding attendant for each of us. My only sibling is my brother, but he’s the person closest to me. What can I do? ANSWER Tell your brother to put on his best duds, run a comb through his hair and stand up there with you. There’s no law that says you must follow gender lines in your wedding party; we’re all for appointing bridesmen, groomswomen, a man of honor and a best woman. As far as attire goes, you can either have your brother coordinate with the best man’s ensemble, or he can adopt a style all his own. If you have a particular color scheme, suggest that he wear a tie, shirt or pocket square in a coordinating color, and outfit him with a bloom from your bouquet for his boutonniere.
QUESTION I’m working out a wedding budget, and my parents are deceased. Would it be correct wedding etiquette to ask my siblings, who are all 10 or more years older than I am, to help pay for the wedding expenses that are usually paid for by the bride’s parents? ANSWER Asking siblings to help pay for your wedding really depends on your relationship with them. It’s not appropriate to expect them to stand in financially for your parents. But if they’ve been like parents to you, some may be willing—or may even offer—to help you out. Broach the subject by talking—in person—to the sibling or siblings you’re closest to, in order to find out if they are willing or able to help. While you certainly shouldn’t expect their financial assistance, you can expect their good wishes and emotional support.
>> By CARLEY RONEY Carley Roney is co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot, www.theknot.com.
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Wedding guest list perils
Who to invite and why —Story by Leslie Mann | Chicago Tribune—
W
edding planner Joyce Scardina Becker has a simple system for compiling wedding guest lists. Divide people into three categories: yes, maybe and no. “‘Yes’ includes parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, plus friends you see often,” said Becker, president of Events of Distinction in California. “‘Maybe’ means relatives you see occasionally, new friends, neighbors and co-workers. ‘No’ includes distant relatives and old friends you rarely see.” Your budget and venue will dictate whether you get beyond the yeses or maybes, she said. Her rule of thumb is a good starting point, but emotions create complications. Following are some do's and don’ts.
Do • Handle each guest list faux pas individually. If you can, ask a close relative to handle the calls. “Even though ours was adults only, a few people replied that they would bring their kids,” Parrish said. “My mom handled it.” • Be forthright with those you haven’t invited, notes TheKnot. com wedding website. If someone you did not invite says, “I can’t wait to come to your wedding,” reply with, “We’d love to invite everyone, but, with our venue and budget, we cannot.” Then, change the subject.
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SouthsideWedding
• Apply the same rules for second weddings. “It gets easier,” said Simone Vega, a New York City wedding planner. “You’re older. You’re not as likely to make decisions out of guilt.” • Allow single guests 18 or older to bring a date. • Say “adults only” on the invitation if you do not want children at your wedding. “Then don’t make exceptions,” Swann said. • If your partner has a large family, accept his larger list. “You’re marrying a family, not just one person,” she said. • Invite true friends, not people you feel obligated to invite.
• Compile the guest list together. “This is a reflection of you as a couple,” said Elaine Swann, an etiquette coach based in San Diego. • Discuss the list with both sets of parents if they’re paying for the wedding. “If you’re paying for your wedding, you have complete control of your list,” Swann said. • Start early to allow for changes. • Overinvite. Wedding venues suggest you invite 10 percent more guests than you can accommodate to allow for no’s. The exception is the very small wedding, where an exact head count matters. “We invited 240 and 200 came,” said Melinda (Mel) Parrish, of Alexandria, Va., who married in 2014. “The 40 (who declined) included some far-flung relatives.”
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www.juliesjohns.com • Create A and B lists. “Thanks to social media, the B people will quickly learn they received their invitations much later than other people did,” Swann said. • Let your parents bully you, warns TheKnot.com, particularly if you are paying for the wedding. • Equate your guest list with a gift solicitation list by including people you know won’t come. “That’s gauche,” Swann said.
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• Refuse to invite a parent’s new partner because you don’t like him or her. • Invite people to the wedding but not the reception. “Imagine being the guest in the parking lot who realizes everyone else is headed to the party, but you’re not invited,” Swann said. • Send online invitations. Share your list on social media. It may be seen by uninvited acquaintances, and it may hurt feelings. • Assume a guest is a “yes” or “no.” “Be prepared for them to come, no matter the circumstances,” Parrish said.
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Bottom line: “It comes down to respect and consideration of your guests,” Swann said. “With each decision you make, think about how they will feel.”
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Wedding Budget Worksheet
Total Wedding Budget
Ceremony
Flowers
Location fee Officiant fee Marriage license Rings Pillow Total Ceremony
Ceremony Bride’s bouquet Bridesmaids’ bouquets Corsages & boutonnieres Reception centerpieces Flower girl basket Bathroom arrangements Total flowers
Reception Reception site Food Drinks Rentals Cake Favors Total Reception
Attire Gown Headpiece/veil Undergarments/hosiery Shoes Accessories Jewelry Makeup Hair Tuxedo Shoes Cuff links Men’s grooming Total attire
Photography Photographer’s fees Videographer’s fees Total photography
Transportation Limousines Buses/transport for guests Total transportation
Stationery Invitations Calligraphy Postage Thank-you cards Total stationery
Gifts Wedding party Parents Other Total gifts
Music Ceremony musicians Band/DJ Extra musicians Total music
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SouthsideWedding
Honeymoon Accommodations Food Total honeymoon
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