setapartgirl NOV/DEC 2010 issue

setapartgirl

LE SLI E L UDY’ S

MAGAZINE

new!

SET APART VOICES

Share your voice with us! p.90

register now!

2011 Set Apart Girl Annual Conference

order now!

Set Apart Conference DVD

now available Download Leslie’s Audio Messages

meet elisa

sister of the common life p.66

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ISSUE . NO VEMB E R/ DEC E MB ER 20 1 0

letter from leslie BEST-SELLING AUTHOR FOUNDER, SET APART GIRL

With our second Ellerslie semester now in full swing, I can’t help but take a step back and meditate upon the amazing faithfulness of our God.

A year

ago, as we prepared to launch this new training school in Colorado, it seemed there were obstacles and barriers at every turn, and so many times we were tempted to simply give up and turn our focus elsewhere.

But now we are in the midst of a campus

bustling with life and activity, filled with like-minded people passionately seeking after Jesus Christ. And all I can do is give God the glory. Most of us (myself included) become so busy trying to make our lives work that we fail to remember that EVERYTHING we need can be found in Him, and if we simply be still and abide in Him, seeking first His kingdom, EVERYTHING else falls into place! I’ve been meditating lately on Psalm 103 – Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits!

My hope is that through this new

magazine issue, you will be reminded afresh of the awesome faithfulness of our God – and that if you are hesitating to trust Him in any area, you will be reminded how much He loves and cares for you. Truly, He is faithful beyond all we can ask or think!

Leslie Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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letter from annie

Photo by Ashley Green

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

This past month my heart has known even greater depths of gratitude in Jesus Christ.

My

brother’s life was transformed by the Gospel on October 27th (read the story on page 53) and as I look back on the many years of praying for such an event, I see how God was setting the stage, and near to us both in His perfect faithfulness.

Now, with the seasons unfolding before us, rather than getting lost in the hubbub of gift wrapping and the whirl of festivities, I long to lose myself still further in the wonder, majesty, and most priceless gift that we have in our Savior Jesus!

So lose yourself in Him too, dear reader.

And if you find yourself simply

bubbling over with joy (as losing yourself in Him will undoubtably do) seek out a soul in need of His love and allow that joy to show them the Savior. May the endless gifts of salvation and Jesus’ life be what consume our hearts this season.

And as the world gets lost in holly and mistletoe, let’s share in the

fellowship by the fire but keep stayed upon the Holy Beloved, Faithful and True.

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set apart femininity Explore God’s Sacred Intent for Your Life Top 10 Time Wasters How Not to be a Lady: Part Two Set Apart Quote

8 16 20

set apart relationships Honoring God in Love and Romance The Dangers of Seductive Femininity Warrior Poet Manhood: Part Two

30 36

set apart walk Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ Finding True Love Availeth Much Devotional of the Month

46 54 60

set apart style Showcasing the Radiance of Christ The Sacred Art of Hospitality Purpose of Place

70 76

46

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ineveryissue 6

our contributors

28

reaching the orphan

43

Q&A with leslie

62

sister of the common life

86

set apart voices

88

the kiddo spot

90

staff book recommendations

16

74

22

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OUR TEAM leslie

FOUNDER, SET APART GIRL

Leslie Ludy is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for reaching her generation with the hope of Christ.

She and her husband, Eric, have been writing and speaking together for the past fifteen years. Widely known for their bestselling classic, When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie have become foremost voices on some of the most poignant issues facing the church today, such as relationships, purity, holiness, and living a fully consecrated life for Christ. Together, they are the authors of fifteen books that have been translated into over a dozen languages around the world. For more about Leslie’s books, click here. Leslie and Eric are the founders and directors of Ellerslie Leadership Training based in Windsor, Colorado – an intensive discipleship training program that prepares future leaders for world-impacting Christian service, and draws men and women of all ages from around the world.

LESLIE’S ARTICLES PAGES 8, 30, 46, & 74

annie

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Annie Wesche is the Creative Director for both Set Apart Girl and Ellerslie Leadership Training. As editor and designer of Set-Apart Girl online magazine, Annie has won the hearts of young women around the globe with her sense of style, warmth of manner, and passion for Jesus Christ. Annie’s heart is gripped with a love for orphaned and vulnerable children and she has traveled internationally as a professional photographer to tell their stories and champion their rescue. ANNIE’S ARTICLES PAGES 53 & 80

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GUEST CONTRIBUTOR tessa hershberger

WRITER | OHIO

come from a small town in Ohio but God has so faithfully placed me in Windsor, CO for a season to continue growing in the Set-Apart life at Ellerslie Leadership Training. I am learning daily to draw closer to the King, trust His still small voice, and stand on His Word as the rock under my feet. It is my deep desire to know Him intimately and to be made strong in Him so I can pour out my life for His glory whether it be in the States or overseas. Wherever He chooses to take me and whatever He chooses to do, I stand convinced that He is faithful and able to do what He has promised!

TESSA’S ARTICLE PAGE 16

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set apart femininity

top

10

time

wasters

by Leslie Ludy

A beautiful young woman, set-apart and passionate for the Gospel, recently confessed to me, “I spend more time on Facebook than I do in prayer or studying the Word of God.” !

Thatʼs the sad reality that most of us are living in. !

God has entrusted us with the precious gift of time. Twenty four hours in every day; seven days in a week; every day significant, every hour important, every moment of value to God. Yet how of those many moments are truly being

used for His glory? If we are honest, many of us would have to admit that though we profess that Jesus Christ our highest priority; our lives proclaim something quite different. !

A few years ago, Eric and I made an unusual decision - to stop spending our “down time” watching movies or television and instead spend those hours seeking God in prayer. I know that sounds like exchanging a firstclass Caribbean cruise for a year in prison labor camp. But ironically, itʼs been the other way around. This step

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set apart femininity

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

Colossians 3:2

of “pouring out our priceless perfume upon Christ” has led to the most exhilarating season we have ever

Most of us feel we don’t have enough time for prayer and seeking God. But we don’t even consider giving up _______.

known. Jesus is more real and intimate than He has ever been. His Word is more powerful and living than it has ever been. Prayer is being heard and miraculously answered like never before.

Spending an hour in the presence of God is more refreshing and renewing to me than any Hollywood “mind escape” could ever be. !

Itʼs easy to think of our time, especially our free time, as belonging to us; that itʼs our right to do what we feel like doing in those “down” moments of the

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set apart femininity day. But when we come to Christ, we are to lay everything at His feet; including our time.

As Leonard Ravenhill said, “What does it mean to be a Christian? Your life is hid with Christ. You have no time of your own, no money of your own; Christ must become your complete Master.” !

God has continued to challenge me with this statement - down to the very details of how I spend each moment of the day. And I have discovered that when we lay every-thing at the feet of Jesus and find our deepest fulfillment, rest, peace, strength, and joy in His presence alone – not dulling our spiritual life with worldly counterfeits – we are ushered into the supernatural, superhuman existence God designed us to live.

Thatʼs when the presence of God draws near.

Thatʼs when our prayers are heard and answered. Thatʼs when the life we read about in Scripture actually becomes our reality. !

Most of us constantly battle with the fact that God is distant, intimacy with Christ is

difficult to obtain, and our prayers donʼt seem to be heard. But God says, “You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:13 NKJV) !

Todayʼs young women arenʼt finding Him because we arenʼt searching for Him with all our hearts. We are too preoccupied with checking our Facebook, watching reality shows, downloading the latest songs on ITunes, and too enamored with Hollywoodʼs newest production to let our whole being be poured forth in constant and unreserved devotion in the service of the Lord who died to save us.

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set apart femininity Most of us feel we donʼt have enough time for prayer and seeking God. But we donʼt even consider giving up our nightly T.V. time, our weekend movie fests, or our iTunes fetish in exchange for spending time in His presence. !

Whether we spend our best hours socializing on Facebook, texting about trivialities, rushing to the latest Twilight movie, or vegging in front of the newest reality T.V. show - the

The man who would know God must give time to Him. majority of our time is being given to things that are not of eternal value; and often, things that are downright dangerous to our souls. Most of us are far more influenced by popculture than we are by the Word of God. We can quote our favorite lines from 100 different chick flicks, but the only Scripture we know is John 3:16.

Itʼs no wonder that Christ feels distant. !

Only when we are willing to give Him the best hours of our day - rather than whatever is left after weʼve wasted most of our time on selfish pleasure - will we truly experience vibrant intimacy with our Heavenly King. !

Tozer wrote, “The man who would know God must give time to Him.” Knowing our King is not a complicated formula; itʼs simply giving the best hours of our day to the pursuit of Him. !

If you hunger for true intimacy with Jesus Christ; if you desire to live truly for His glory, then you must surrender your time to Him. Not just in theory, but every moment of every day - no longer living for your own pursuits and whims, but for His glory alone. !

In this series of Time Wasting articles, Iʼd like to tackle the top 10 most common time-wasters for todayʼs young women, and look at practical ways to avoid these pitfalls. So letʼs look at the one topping the list... (drumroll please)...

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set apart femininity Time waster #1

FACEBOOK Facebook itself is not an evil thing.

But if itʼs not put in its proper place, it can quickly become an unhealthy addiction in your life; robbing precious time, distracting you from Christ, and putting your mind on the things of this world. !

Theoretically, Facebook is a practical way to connect with friends, edify them spiritually, send them sweet thoughts, and get the word out about important happenings.

But in my experience, Iʼve found that the

majority of “set apart” young women on Facebook are using it as an excuse to dwell on shallow, worldly, fleshly, self-built actives; things like online flirting, chatting about trivial things, stroking their ego, and meditating upon pop-culture. !

The biggest danger of Facebook is how quickly it can eat away your precious time. You sit down at your laptop to send a quick message, and then three hours later you are still lost within the endless network of cybersocializing. And what were you doing in those three hours?

If you are honest, you may find that very little of it had any eternal value whatsoever.

Those were three hours that could have been used for far better things.

Prayer.

Studying Godʼs Word.

Journaling His work in your life.

Serving someone need. But there is Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

No material from this website may be copied, reproduced, or distributed without express written permission from The Church at Ellerslie.

set apart femininity no room for those edifying actives when our best hours are spent on meaningless, trivial things. !

Just because there might a few redeeming qualities about Facebook doesnʼt warrant letting it eat up all our precious time. Remember - itʼs not our time, anyway, but Godʼs. And if Jesus wouldnʼt spend his time cybersocializing, why should we?

Re-thinking Facebook Time: !

If time on Facebook has be-come an unhealthy addiction in your life (meaning you canʼt imagine letting it go) prayerfully ask God for the grace to walk away, at least for a season, until He truly has first place in your heart and your best hours are being

You sit down to send a quick message, and then three hours later you are still lost within the endless network...

spent on Him. Recruit an accountability partner if necessary.

R e m e m b e r, n o t h i n g i s w o r t h jeopardizing your relationship with the Lord who died to save You, and no offering is too extreme when laid at His feet out of a heart of love and devotion to Him! !

If Facebook isnʼt necessarily an addiction for you; but has become a time-waster in your life, consider the following practical ideas for putting it in its proper place: !

1. Use Facebook sparingly. Check your account only once a week and only spend 30-45 on the network.

Have a timer set so that you donʼt go over the allotted time, or better yet, an accountability partner who will sit there with you, and remind you to stick to your commitment. Sure, you might miss out on some of the buzz, but your time will be given to things that are Godʼs heart, not merely the latest gossip or interesting news. !

2. Donʼt become Facebook friends with people that you donʼt know well, or people who are shallow and worldly and just looking to build up their social status.

Stick to

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set apart femininity

connecting with true godly friends who will point you closer to Jesus Christ and leave the shallow relationships alone. Sure, you can try to be a good Christian influence on secular peers, but online socializing is not a good witnessing platform.

Non-Christians (or shallow Christians) need to see a poured-out life fully devoted to Jesus Christ, not just a spiritual cyber-personality. !

3. Be watchful of what you read and post on Facebook. Ridiculous quizzes about which Hollywood celebrity you would like to be, discussions about the latest Twilight movie or books, or gossipy banter about “hot guys” will not edify your spirit, but will pull you into the things of the world. Make your goal that everything you read or post on

Facebook will bring glory to Jesus Christ - and if it doesnʼt, leave it alone. !

4. Donʼt use Facebook as a way to stroke your own ego. Avoid posting “glamour shots” of yourself in a bathing suit (sadly, many “set-apart girls” do this!) or posting many pictures of yourself at all. Donʼt make your Facebook page an “all about me” extravaganza; rather, use stories and testimonies about what God has done in your life to encourage others.

Post Scriptures that have changed your life, or stories about great Christians that have inspired you.

Encourage others to pray for the lost or for those in great need around the world (like orphans). !

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set apart femininity 5. When it doubt; leave it alone!

Believe it or not, Facebook is something that you can live without. I have yet to use Facebook even once, and I honestly think my life is better for it. It frees up my time for the things in my life that really matter; investing into my marriage and children, cultivating my relationship with Jesus Christ, and ministering to the needs of others. Often the things that we think we canʼt live without are the very things that are holding us back from living the life God has called us to.

Next issue, we will tackle more of the time-wasters that constantly dangle temptation in front of us. As you prayerfully consider this area of your life, Iʼd like to challenge you with this powerful statement from Amy Carmichael...

been written) spend a precious hour by deliberate choice over something not worthwhile. Ours should not be the love that asks, ‘how little?’ but ‘how much?’; the love that pours out its all and revels in the joy of having anything to pour on the feet of its Beloved. The question ‘what is the harm?’ falls from us and is forgotten when we see Calvary, the Crucified, the risen-again Rabboni of our souls! (from God’s Missionary, by Amy Carmichael) !

Jesus Christ gave everything for us.

Are we not willing to give Him everything in return, including the precious gift of our time? Truly, He is worthy. *

We often ask the question, ‘what is the harm of it?’ - about reading certain books, following certain pursuits, taking our recreation in certain ways. What is the harm of the latest novel, even if it happens to be rather unprofitable? And we (who have not the time to read one out of a thousand of the real books that have Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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Howtonot be a

by TESSA HERSHBERGER

2

Lady

~ Lessons From Lady Mar ~

16

set apart femininity Lesson Two:

GET A GRIP One of the most obvious differences between the two sexes is the manner in which they handle and express emotion. It is usually easier for a gentleman to hold in his emotions and set them apart from his decisions and conduct. For ladies, however, emotions have a natural way of, ahem, getting in the way.

Without modest restraint and appropriate reserve, a lady’s emotions have the capacity to deceitfully influence and harm both herself and others.

Lesson number two, ladies: get a grip — on your emotions, that is.

Don’t misunderstand: both showing and feeling emotions is indeed good and necessary for the feminine heart. How boring would a God-scripted love story be without the emotions of joy and delight! And how stale and hard would a soul become if it could never let out a good cry! And yet, something in the feminine sinful nature is inclined to distort the gift of emotion in a way that diminishes the honorable and Christ-like lives women are meant to live.

Once again, the infamous Lady Mar of Scottish Chiefs offers a classic example of how not to be a lady.

Joanna Mar’s unchecked emotions are anything but honorable and modest.

Instead, she allows them to control her thoughts and actions, and employs them in drawing unnecessary attention to herself in an attempt to get what she wants.

17

set apart femininity When she first meets Wallace and he speaks just a few words to her, Lady Mar “...felt her heart throb violently… Her soul was in tumults.” Hurrying out of the room, “She threw herself along the nearest couch, and striking her breast with a strong emotion, exclaimed, ‘What is this that is within me? …Hardly twelve hours, have I seen this William Wallace, and yet my very being is now lost in his!’” (Pg. 232.)

“Drama queen” is perhaps the most suitable description. Lady Mar has the immediate option to either put her attraction to Wallace in the hands of virtuous constraint or in the hands of her emotions. She chooses the latter, and the flood of emotion that pours out of this very first meeting with Wallace paves the way for her intense pursuit of him throughout the rest of the story.

This well of misguided passion causes her mind to constantly overflow with anxious and irrational thoughts about Wallace’s possible affections, and incessant meditations concerning her own selfish devices.

It gets worse. On one occasion Lady Mar ends up alone in a room with Wallace: “She forgot all prudence, all reserve; and laying her hand on his arm… she held him fast; but agitation preventing her speaking, she trembled violently; and weeping, dropped her head upon his shoulder… Her tears redoubled…

Her emotions became so violent, that he expected she would have swooned in his arms.” (Pgs. 262-263.)

Poor Wallace! What’s a man to do with such a manipulative and improper mess? The error is this: Lady Mar constantly yields to her emotions, and as a result they dictate her every foolish word, thought, and action. In stark contrast, a Christ-like lady will always put her emotions second and yield first to the Holy 18

set apart femininity Spirit, allowing the victorious life of Christ, not emotion, to control every aspect of her life, whether it be a romantic relationship, a health crisis, or a season of intense responsibility.

In her book The Lost Art of True Beauty, Leslie Ludy gives a perfect description of such a lady: “A woman of honor must possess a stable core. She feels emotion at great levels, but she is not a slave to her feelings. A woman of honor is of sound mind and does not fall apart emotionally, even in the gravest and most severe of circumstances.” (Pg. 100.)

The stable core this woman possesses is the life of Christ inside of her. It is her foundation, her essence, and the center of her existence. It is a firm rock on which she can lean for comfort, relief, and security. But when a woman’s life is ruled by the feeble foundation of emotion, as Lady Mar’s was, it only results in a heap of crumbling stones.

Ladies, you needn’t hold back from expressing emotions — when under the gentle reign of the Spirit, they will reflect the beauty of Christ and serve to edify others. But let us always be on careful guard against their power, lest we become useless soldiers of Christ with weak knees and vulnerable souls. *

19

set apart femininity

SET-APART QUOTE "Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is.”

- Amy Carmichael Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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Kipper Roo turns two. copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

22

2 copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

23

Come down silly bear!

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24

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes. copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

- winnie the pooh 25

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26

“You may speak but a word to a child, and in that child there may be slumbering a noble heart which shall stir the Christian Church in years to come.�

- Charles Spurgeon 27

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REACHING ORPHANS & vulnerable children

s y a W l a c i t c a Pr p l e H n a C u Yo

28

November is National Adoption Awareness month.

Along with the celebration of little Kipʼs second birthday comes national adoption awareness month.

Kip and Harper - our two adopted blessings - remind us daily of how beautifully adoption illustrates the Father-heart of God! It is estimated that there are 148 million orphans in the world – both here in America and overseas. And as set-apart followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to be His hands and feet to these precious lives. (see James 1:27) Adoption is an amazing way that Christians can meet the practical needs of orphans. But even if you are not in a position to consider adopting a child, there are plenty of other ways you can respond to the cry of the orphan. One of my favorite resources is a brochure from Family Life called Ten Ways Every Christian Can Care for the Orphan and Waiting Child. It offers practical straightforward advice on how you can change a childʼs life, starting right now, no matter your age or circumstance.

To view the brochure or order your own copy, CLICK HERE!

HIS LITTLE FEET...Be in on it!

The Ellerslie campus is bursting with excitement this month, as Mike and Christa Hahn, directors of His Little Feet, prepare to bring between 16 and 20 Haitian children to the States for discipleship, training and a childrenʼs choir that will tour the country. These children will become a voice for the 148 million orphans around the world. We encourage you to visit the HLF website today and offer your support today! If you are interested in bringing the HLF childrenʼs choir to your community, please check out the “booking” page on their website for more information. www.hislittlefeet.org Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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Seductive Femininity using feminine power for good and not evil

by Leslie Ludy

Growing up, commitment to my future spouse had always been to simply save my physical purity for him; a commitment I didn’t always live out very successfully.

I viewed purity as “the edge of a cliff” and told myself that as long as I didn’t fall off the cliff, I could inch my way as close to the line as possible, and still be right with God and honoring to my future husband.

But when I was sixteen, God completely renovated my understanding of true purity. One day I stumbled upon a verse in Proverbs 31; the chapter in the Bible that describes a wife of godly character.

“She does [her husband] good and not evil,” it said, “all the days of her life” (v.

12). The words tugged at my heart. All the days of her life? That meant even

before I met my future husband or knew his name! As I allowed God’s Spirit to search my heart, I realized I hadn’t been doing my future husband good all the days of my life.

I’d been deceiving myself into believing I was living in purity; but in reality I was skilled at the art of seductive femininity - pursuing guys and drawing their attention to myself through flirting, flaunting my body, and subtle manipulation.

In this era of sex-obsessed masculinity, all too many young women have fallen into the trap of seductive femininity. We are taught by the culture from a very young age that the only way a woman can be considered beautiful is if she becomes sensuous and sexually aggressive.

Most of us grow up

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set apart relationships believing the lie that the only way to be approved by guys is to become as much like a Victoria’s Secret vixen as we possibly can.

Instead of using our feminine power to motivate guys toward purity, we fuel the problem of lust and sexual perversion by catering to men’s debased sexual desires.

Proverbs 7 describes the ways of a seductive woman: And behold, a woman comes to meet him, Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. She is boisterous and rebellious, her feet do not remain at home; She is now in the streets, now in the squares, and lurks by every corner. So she seizes him and kisses him and with a brazen face she (speaks) to him…

(Proverbs 7:10-13 NASB)

This woman is physically aggressive toward guys, sensually dressed, always “on the prowl” for men, a n d u s e s s t r a t e g i c fl i r t i n g a n d manipulation to lure guys into her seductive power. She is careless of her purity and her heart, and she looks to male approval to bring her pleasure.

Sound like anyone you know?

I’m guessing the answer is yes, because her description fits the majority of young women in our modern culture, even most Christ-professing ones.

It is considered normal for a young woman to be aggressive, flirtatious and sensual toward guys and use her feminine allure to manipulate the opposite sex. But

what does God say about this kind of woman?

Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death.

(Prov. 7:25-27 NKJV)

Wow. I’d say it’s time we start taking our interaction with the opposite sex a bit more seriously. As set-apart women, we are called to reflect His lilywhite, radiant beauty, and not a hollow sex-appeal of our own making. Every single one of the Godly young men I interviewed for this book [Answering the Guy Questions] said that they wished young women would begin using their feminine power for good and not harm, especially in the area of seduction and sex-appeal. Countless Christian young women are dressing and acting far more like the seductive woman in Proverbs 7 than the radiant, dignified, beautiful woman of God in Proverbs 31. And in so doing, we are only causing guys to sink deeper into the pit of twisted sexuality and animalistic manhood. Just take a look at what a few Christ-built young men had to say about today’s women and their seductive power: !

I often hear young women saying that they want a noble, heroic man who won’t treat them like a sex object. These

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set apart relationships girls are making those statements in a tight mini skirt with a see-through tank top that is, well let’s just say, a little bit more than revealing. A woman is supposed to be mysterious, and that is one of the reasons that a man is drawn to her. When a woman exposes her curves to a man, it leaves little room for him to think about anything other than, well...sex. A Christian male will be more attracted to a woman’s heart and soul, than the curves of her body. Women cannot just complain about the lack of wholesome men in the world.

We need wholesome women as well.

When we see an uncompromising conviction in the standards that women have, we will start to see the standards that men have begin to change as well.

- Rich, 22

Even this week in the youth group that I lead, I found several young females who were wearing clothing (in weather that usually requires coats, hats, and maybe scarves) that was beyond inappropriate. Low cut tops, short shorts, tight shirts are all simple clothing items that can be changed, not only to help guys but also protect and honor the women themselves. Further, things like teasing (with sexual innuendo), provocative looks, suggestive conversations are not honoring and quite destructive.

- Nathan, 24

The typical modern girl has lost all sense of propriety. Whether it's the way she dresses or the way she acts with guys, most boundaries have been removed. Girls wear clothes that draw the eye to their body in some way (too tight, too short, lines/designs that accentuate body parts). Girls are very comfortable with flirting and teasing. Girls talk about once-taboo "girl" topics candidly with their boyfriends or guy friends. And all of these things open up new avenues for lust and impure thoughts.

- Tim, 23

Women, craving attention and affection, have bought the lie we fed them that if they want us to notice them, then they’d better flaunt what they’ve got and be willing to satisfy our sexual appetites.

Therefore, attire shifted, as did behavior.

We told them to flaunt, so they flaunt. We told them to satisfy, so they satisfy. It has gotten to the point that we as men now expect such behavior.

Even a man seeking to pursue purity is now hammered with images constantly assailing that desire for purity. A guy can’t even walk down a mall corridor anymore without having to constantly avert his eyes.

- Jeremy, 20

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set apart relationships

Our culture’s standards for feminine purity have sunk to non-existent.

Most of us continually justify our seductive behavior, thinking that as long as we are a cut above Paris Hilton, we are being modest and dignified. Our culture’s standards for feminine purity have sunk to non-existent. We all too often compare ourselves to the perversion all around us and assume we are doing pretty well if we walk the beach in anything more than barely-there string bikini. And as long as our teasing and flirting is a bit tamer than a Christina Aguilera video, we think we are living wholesome lives. But what is God’s standard?

The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.

(1 Cor. 7:33) But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.

(1 Tim. 5:6 NKJV) …that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

(1 Tim. 2:9)

To be holy in both body and spirit is to be the entire focus of our lives. Not to be a step or two above the world’s twisted ways, but to be completely separate from the world (in dress, actions, and attitude) and completely set-apart for Christ. This is not just a decision to wear a one-piece swimsuit instead of a bikini or to wear a slightly longer mini-skirt than what is currently fashionable. Rather, it is an entire shift of lifestyle and focus – it’s allowing the very Spirit of Christ to enter into our being and transform us into pictures of purity from the inside out.

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.

(1 Cor. 6:19-20 NKJV)

When God awakened me to understand true purity, He taught me how to use my feminine power for good and not evil; to bless my future husband

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set apart relationships instead of rob from him.

I no longer pursued temporary relationships that chipped away at my heart, mind, emotions, and physical purity. I know longer flirted with guys or used sensuality to draw their attention.

Even in friendships with guys, I became extremely careful. I determined that the next time I would give any part of myself away would not be until I knew he was the one that God had chosen for me to spend the rest of my life with. Even then, it would only be with the gentle, step-by-step guidance of my King. Honoring my future husband meant keeping my heart, emotions, body, and even my thought life in check—living a lifestyle of lily whiteness for him in every possible way. And finally, I understood what it meant to be a virtuous, rather than seductive, young woman!

We cannot glorify God through flirting, flaunting our body, or using our seductive power to win the approval of guys. We don’t draw attention to Christ through manipulation and sex-appeal – we only draw attention to ourselves and use selfish manipulation to bring guys down.

If we want to see a positive change in the animalistic attitude of today’s men, it’s time we stop catering to the problem. It’s time we begin to live as if we actually are the holy temple of the Most High God. Next time you are tempted to flirt, flaunt, or seduce, remember that you are called to live for more than just yourself; you have the amazing privilege of honoring God and your future husband, starting today, all the days of your life.*

It’s time we begin to live as if we actually are the holy temple of the Most High God.

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take it deeper

Answering the Guy Questions

Order Now!!

Answering the Guy Questions is a powerful book that dives into some of the toughest relationship questions I get asked by young women. If you have ever been discouraged, disgusted, depressed, or even defeated by the state of modern guys, this book can infuse you with vision, hope, and a practical means of doing something about it!

This book

shows young women the significant role they play in helping guys discover true manhood as God intended it to be, in all of its glory, strength, nobility and honor.

This book is

extremely practical - tackling key areas such as guy/girl friendships, physical and emotional boundaries, modesty, flirting, and laying the foundation for a God-scripted love story.

A great book for small group discussions - appropriate for younger teens yet

relevant for college age and older.

35

a guy shares his thoughts

Poet

Warrior Manhood

By Eric Ludy

copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

II

36

set apart relationships Most guys today, if asked, could tell you what they want. “I want a steak – medium rare, peanut butter and jelly on

modern-day manhood can be quite discouraging. But I want you to know that there is tremendous hope. Firstly, there

the side, please!” “I want a lot of money, a black Hummer with mud on the tires, and a pit bull to protect all my stuff!” “I want a bag of Doritos, a six pack, and 70,000 screaming football fans to party

is a new resurgence in Christ-like manhood taking place throughout this emerging generation of young men – it will take time to develop, but a new fleet of Warrior Poets is being formed.

with via my big screen TV.” Guys tend to know what they want in the female department, too.

They tend to view woman as existing entirely for their own selfish pleasure.

Secondly, there is an inspiring new resurgence of set-apart young womanhood awakening as well, in lives like yours, which provides a wellspring of hope that a radical reformation of

Even writing this, I am profoundly ashamed of what we, as modern-day guys, have become. The tragic thing is that most guys, it seems, are even proud to be this disgustingly predictable. Our

manhood is on the horizon. Because, as I said in last monthʼs study of manhood in every culture, one of the dominant forces that determines the quality of its masculinity is the quality of its femininity.

problem, as guys, doesnʼt lie in the fact that we are uncertain in our “wants,” itʼs that our “wants” are crippling us. Just like an arrow is meant to hit a target, we as young men are meant to hit a target

We as guys need women to help us turn our map right-side up, or in most cases provide us with a whole new map.

We need young women to help us realize that if we altered our wants, retooled our

with our lives – to be shaped into men that resemble the manhood of Jesus Christ. It seems this culture has trained us as men to shoot our arrows, no longer at the target of “majestic man-ness”, but

approach to finding man-ness, and used a “new” map on our journey, we would end up with far more in our manhood than we ever dreamed or imagined.

haphazardly straight up into the air. Then like stooges we canʼt figure out why the arrows we shot straight up into the air are raining like meteors right back down upon our lives and maiming us.

Iʼm sure that for you, as a young woman, pondering these things about

“I want you to know that there is tremendous hope.”

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set apart relationships In my last article, we explored practical ways that you as a young woman could inspire men to become

work.” Guys, for some odd reason, love to be cheered on and observed at their “craft.” If you show excitement for a guyʼs

godly protectors, rather than conquerors, of purity. Now, I would like to present four practical things that you, as a young woman, can do right now to help us young men train to become more

area of interest you will gain a unique avenue into his life.

A woman that appreciates a manʼs hard earned skill is a woman a man will listen to. And if you compliment a guy after you observe him

selflessly sensitive; to help him cultivate the Poet side of godly masculinity.

excelling at his “craft,” your words will work to help shape him as a man.

Remember, the words of a woman have the power to make a man either a prince or a peon. Please use that power the

1)

Be tender – Being tender to a

guy is different than a guy being tender to a girl. Tenderness is giving to someone else that which they most need in the moment they most need it. Itʼs getting into the skin of someone

way God intended it to be used and help us become princes.

else, looking at life through their eyes, and therefore meeting their needs the way they need them met. Being in the skin of a guy is very different than being in the skin of a girl. Guys are motivated

“nudge” me when I was around the age of fourteen. She realized that anytime she “forced” me to do something, like learn the piano, take art lessons, or join the swim team – I stiffened up like a

and encouraged by very different things than are girls. The safest and best way to practice tenderness is on your dad and brothers. The way to motivate a guy is to first of all, study him and determine the

board, folded my arms, and refused to enjoy myself. Yet if she creatively placed the opportunity in front of me in such a way that I got excited about the idea, seemingly on my own, I would, instead of

two or three things that he enjoys investing his time and energy into. It could be basketball, it could be computers, it could be airplanes, it could be a million other things – but every guy

complaining about the idea, actually be begging her to allow me to do it.

But remember, girls, to make it work you have to do it in a way that we guys never suspect that you are “Guy-Nudging.” To

has an interest and a place in which he invests himself. The second thing to do is to go out of your way to “watch him at

“nudge” a young man toward becoming a Poet, the secret is learning how to create the right atmosphere in which he will feel

2)

Be covertly creative – My mom learned the secret of how to

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set apart relationships “unpressured and unnagged” yet challenged to grow at the same time.

Practice thinking of creative atmospheres

3)

Be willing to be unappreciated Plain and simple, when a young

in which a young man could take steps forward in the direction of becoming a Poet. A great way to start is on someone like your brother. I know it doesnʼt sound very romantic, but brothers are a great

man finally takes a step forward in the Warrior Poet direction, never say “I told you so!” You may have played a huge role in his growth, but if he senses an “I told you so” attitude from you, he will

training ground and extremely safe to practice on. For instance, invite your brother on a date. Take him to a nice restaurant and in the process, gently “nudge” him toward treating you like a

tend to either go backwards, or close you off from being a part of the process from then on. To protect a manʼs dignity, allow him to feel that the step was wholly his. If he desires to give you credit, thatʼs great.

lady. Stop in front of each door, and if he doesnʼt open it for you, say, in your most genteel voice, “Arenʼt you going to get the door for me?” When you sit down to eat, sweetly ask him to order for you – and if

In fact, that would show even further progress in his man-ness. But donʼt try and force him to give you the credit.

Remember, you are supposed to be an undercover “Guy-Nudger,” not a front and

heʼs willing, then do your best to be excited about his choice. Throughout the night, encourage him as a young man and inspire him as Warrior Poet. Even allow him to pay for the meal if he is man

center “Guy-Shover.”

enough to offer. A great line to throw in somewhere during the night, right after your brother has done something admirable, is, “You are going to make a great husband someday!” If you say it

stand up and fight for authentic Goddesigned femininity, so we as guys need you to stand up and fight for authentic God-designed masculinity. In a sense, we need you to be female Warriors

sincerely, he will NEVER forget those words. Just remember, allow the guy to take the step forward; if he feels pushed forward he often wonʼt budge. And be creative with how you build the right

defending the awesome potential of what manhood could and should be. You may have been hurt deeply by men in your life, so what I am asking of you may seem like climbing Mt. Everest, but I

atmosphere – creativity is a great way to cover up the fact that you are an undercover “Guy-Nudger.”

would like you to seriously consider it.

Please donʼt punish manhood because of the idiocy of one or even a few. Manhood

4)

Be a defender of masculinity – just as you, as young women, need young men to learn how to

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set apart relationships can be so much more than it is today, but you hold one of the golden keys to help unlock us from our “perverted and mule-

That is why we desperately are in need of you to provide us with the map that will

like” prison. We are being stomped on by this culture, we are spiritually weak and our true nobility has faded – we canʼt ward off the formidable powers that have aligned themselves to destroy us, unless

“In God’s economy, the years of loneliness and pain given to serving and obeying Him, are always gloriously worth it.”

you put on your armor like a Joan of Arc and come crashing into the battle to our defense. Great things are in store for our emerging generation if you catch this vision.

Manhood will once again rise from the ashes of compromise and will be something worthy of your highest affections – I believe that deep within my soul.

Final Thoughts ! !

Warrior Poets, we would all

admit, are rare these days. But the first step to their rediscovery is realizing that it is possible for Warrior Poets to reemerge. In these past three “studies on manhood” we have explored how you, as a young woman, can help that “Warrior Poet formation” become a reality in modern-day young men. We as modernmen are deluded into thinking that we are actually headed in the right direction. But burpinʼ and scratchinʼ within the city-limits of Jerksville isnʼt what God had in mind.

help us reach the city of “Great Manhood.”

It is my desire that you as a young woman would catch the vision of worldaltering womanhood. That you would be willing to sacrifice everything you hold dear in order to “come away” with your Prince. I hope you take this message seriously and build your life around the creation of a sacred sanctuary for your Heavenly Prince.

There is nothing greater in all of life than to intimately share it with Jesus Christ!

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set apart relationships We as men need set-apart young women to inspire us. It is also my desire that you would be successful in your

of loneliness and pain given to serving and obeying Him, are always gloriously worth it.

relationships with men as well as nurture the growth of your authentic, Goddesigned femininity. But along the way, beware of your “sweet tooth.” Women everywhere

Just as we as guys must learn to cherish the way you are built as a woman, the same is true in reverse.

struggle with their craving for male affection and companionship. There are counterfeits everywhere, masquerading as true men, sporting WWJD tee-shirts.

There is nothing that will s t i fl e a u t h e n t i c , G o d designed femininity faster than a resident of Jerksville with “one-thing” on his mind.

Even if you have to remain alone and single for years to come, you can be fully satisfied with your Prince. Please donʼt ever sacrifice your femininity for the short-lived satisfaction of having a guy at your side.

Most guys today are not yet worth the rare beauty of a set-apart young woman.

Be patient, and pray daily. Soon, young men reminiscent of Jesus Christ, will begin to appear on the horizon like the much-anticipated sunrise after a long, dark night. In Godʼs economy, the years

Hidden within the rough shell of a man is a map that leads you as a woman to rivers of glowing radiance, timeless beauty, and undaunted strength.

The thrilling thing about life shared intimately with our true Heavenly Prince, is the journey has always just begun. *

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God’s Gift to Women Order Now!!

ERIC SAYS...

I’m not a guy that’s all hyped up for grunting and giving off foul odors, I’m a guy that is passionate about men being true men.

And Im convinced that true manhood, polished by the hand of God, is nothing short of an awe-inspiring gift to womanhood.

Contrary to the vibe that a title like Gods Gift to Women gives off, this book is not merely about how men can more effectively relate to women. I believe that we as men can never hope to become a gift to women until we gain a complete vision of Christ-built manhood. We live in a generation of burpin’ and scratchin’ male mediocrity. Most of our modern-day examples of manhood are self-serving, perverted, and depraved. We are taking this second-rate version of masculinity into our marriages, our families and our lives as men. I believe we need a new standard for masculinity - a standard that is not shaped by our culture, but by the very person of Jesus Christ. That standard is the core of this book’s message.

If you were hoping for a book about relating to women, don’t worry; there is plenty of that subject covered in these pages. But for us to learn to effectively relate to women, we must first learn to effectively relate to the Creator of women - Jesus Christ. We must learn the world-altering secrets of Christ-built, warrior-poet manhood. If you are a guy interested in discovering amazing, cultureshaping masculinity don’t miss this book! And if you are a girl interested in motivating the guys in your life toward something better don’t miss this book! copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

42

?

Q&A with leslie

Q: A:

How close should I get to my guy friends?

Quite a few young women have expressed frustration to me about the “politics of guy friendships”, wishing that they could simply shrug off all concern and enjoy the same closeness with their guy-friends that they share with their female friends. But even though you might feel a close connection with a guy friend, itʼs important to stay guarded in both your thoughts and your actions toward him. It is all too easy, especially for girls, to begin giving away the kind of intimacy and affection that is meant to be saved for your future spouse. Itʼs more than possible to enjoy close guy friendships without violating the sacredness of your future marriage relationship – but it doesnʼt happen by accident. It takes prayer, focus and help from the Spirit of God. Ask the Spirit of God to be your guide – if you submit your every thought, action, and conversation to Him, He will guide and direct you, offering caution when it is needed and giving you freedom when it is needed.

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Before my relationship with Eric ever began, I developed close friendships with several godly young men. Up until then, most of my interaction with the opposite sex had been flirtatious, teasing, and based on physical attraction, the challenge of getting a guyʼs attention, or the hope of a romantic fling developing. But once I gave God the “pen” of my love story, I made a decision not to pursue guys in that way, and to put a stop to the flirtatious relationships I had become so used to. I wasnʼt sure how to have a healthy, Christfocused friendship with a guy. I prayed that God would show me His pattern. I found that the first step was entering into friendships with like-minded young men; young men who were not primarily focused on the opposite sex, but on Jesus Christ. I hadnʼt met many young men that fell into that category, but as I prayed about it, God began to bring a small handful of them into my life. Instead of teasing, joking, and flirting when we were together, we spent time encouraging each other spiritually and discoursing about Godʼs Word. They truly became like brothers to me, pointing me continually toward Christ and not toward themselves.

And yet, as precious as the friendships were to me, there were certain boundaries that I was always careful about. I wanted more than anything to honor my future husband in these relationships. So I asked God to direct me as I related to these young men. He showed me different ways that I could be sensitive to my future husband. I was careful about physical touch with my guy friends – a friendly, quick side hug was one thing, but I felt that front hugs invited potential stumbling. (An interjection: if you are an extremely physical, touchyfeely type of girl…you may need to make a conscious effort to hold back when you interact physically with your guy friends. Eric and I have seen far too many guys caused to stumble by an innocent young woman who thought she was merely expressing friendship through her hugs and touches. Just because you “donʼt mean anything by it” doesnʼt mean that itʼs appropriate!)

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?

I was also careful about how much of my intimate life I shared with my guy friends – I would talk to them about what God was teaching me, but hold back on getting too personal in my sharing. I found that praying together with my guy friends was a great way to keep our focus on Christ. But even a shared time of prayer can be a form of emotional manipulation toward the opposite sex. And so I was careful, if I found myself in such a situation, not to pray about extremely deep or private issues when I was with my guy friends.

None of this dampened the delight and enjoyment that I found in these guy friendships, and it gave me the assurance that my future husband was being honored and respected in the process.

A guy/girl friendship – especially one that is not headed toward

marriage – is not meant to become as intimate and close as other friendships, no matter what kind of “connection” you may feel. Once God brings your future spouse into your life, your one-on-one friendships with the opposite sex will need to diminish, being replaced by “couple friendships” instead. And it is far less painful to make that transition when deep, personal, intimate friendship bonds have not been forged.

If there is a possibility in your mind that a friendship with a member of the opposite sex might end up as something more, it is still wise to be careful until you know for sure. God is perfectly capable of nudging a relationship forward in His own time and way. But in the meantime, the best thing you can do is to live as if your heart, mind, and body still belong to someone else.

*

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t t

Finding true love

(adapted from Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy)

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H

set apart walk

e was someone I had known for years. He had been a close family friend. He had many appealing qualities,

ever discover anything more. But I soon realized I was very, very wrong about him.

I found him waiting for me by the apple

but I had never really thought about him in a romantic way. It was true that he had a sensitive and tender side that I had seen on a few occasions. But he was also extremely passionate about truth, and I felt

trees near my back gate one day as I headed out for a morning walk. I was startled to see him there, surprised that after all these years and all the times I had ignored him, he still wanted to spend time

that sometimes he came across a little too strong on certain points. To be honest, he intimidated me. It also seemed that he was a little too involved with “church stuff.”

When I thought of him, I was reminded of

with me. I gave him a tentative glance, and he smiled at me—a tender, intimate smile that made my heart lurch in spite of itself. I quickly looked away.

“Can I walk with you?” he asked in a

Sunday school lessons with flannel Bible story characters or gold offering plates— this was not exactly the atmosphere for true love!

He was one of those people with a

gentle voice. I nodded, still avoiding his gaze, and he fell into step beside me. We made our way in silence for a while, listening to the occasional chatter of a squirrel or high-pitched chirp of a robin. I

piercing gaze that can see straight into the depths of your soul. Because of this, I had gone out of my way to avoid him for the past few

kept my eyes on the gravel path at my feet.

“Iʼve missed you,” he told me simply. Though it

years. For some time now my life had been a chaotic mess of compromise and

I found him waiting for me by the apple trees near my back gate one day as I headed out for a morning walk.

confusion. I didnʼt want him to see what I had become.

If he found out what I had done, I was sure he would sternly reprimand me and remind me that it was too late for me to

was obvious to both of us that I was the one who had put the distance be-

tween us, there was no hint of accusation in his tone. I bit my lip and nodded again, unsure what to say in response.

We walked a little farther, and I realized his presence was both refreshing and

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set apart walk comforting. I could feel his tender eyes watching me, silently telling me how important I was to him, though I could not

times that I didnʼt know how much more pain my heart could handle.

I had another worry. He didnʼt live his

figure out why. Nothing else was said during the rest of our time together that day, but I sensed that something more was about to happen between us. I just wasnʼt sure if I was ready.

life the way anyone else did. He stood out like a neon billboard on a lonely desert h i g h w a y. H e w a s m o c k e d a n d misunderstood by quite a few people in my life. I knew he would not fit into my

Our friendship slowly grew. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized how utterly different he was from any man I had ever encountered. In him, there were

world, would not be accepted by my friends, and would not be at home in most of my

none of the sex-hungry glances I had received from the guys at school, not a trace of the flirtatious teasing that had always surrounded me, and not a strain

After seeing the real thing, I couldn’t believe I had fallen for such poor substitutes.

surroundings.

How could I possibly love someone like this? What did

of the seductive charms I had grown so accustomed to in men. But somehow I knew that he loved me. That he deeply desired me. That he found me beautiful. I hardly dared to hope that I had

he expect me to do—walk away from everything just to be with him?

I wrestled with my fears for weeks. He never pressured me to make a decision.

finally found the one man that could fulfill those long-forgotten dreams of mine. Even if he could be my prince, I was sure I had found him too late.

“This is completely crazy,” I told myself

He simply reminded me, in a hundred different ways, that he loved me and that he longed for me. He was infinitely patient, tender, and sensitive...the kind of prince I had dreamed of for as long as I could

aloud one night as I tossed and turned in bed. “He wouldnʼt want someone like me.”

I was convinced that his love for me would shrivel up in a second if he truly understood how many mistakes I had

remember. He made the immature, selfcentered guys that had historically gained my affection seem like pitiful counterfeits.

After seeing the real thing, I couldnʼt believe I had fallen for such poor

made. I didnʼt think I could risk becoming attached to him. I had been hurt so many

substitutes. But at the same time, I

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set apart walk couldnʼt help wondering whether or not he might just be too good to be true.

The more time I spent around him, the

seemed even remotely important anymore. Nothing mattered now but him.

As I whispered my devotion to him, a

more something inside me desperately wanted to just surrender and fall into his waiting arms. But I was afraid to let myself trust him. I was afraid of what that decision might cost me.

brilliant peace crept steadily into my heart and began to quietly mend its broken pieces. His eyes were wet with tears of unspeakable joy. I felt like an eagle gliding freely along the majestic mountain peaks

Over time, gradually, like the moving of the hour hand, my guard came down. No matter how many times I pulled away from him, his love remained unmoving, like a majestic, unwavering mountain over-

following an afternoon storm. I had finally found my prince. He had gallantly searched for me and rescued me from my horrible dungeon of captivity. He had loved me in spite of my wretched, ugly condition.

looking a tumultuous ocean. I had even tried to convince him that I was not good enough for him. Iʼd told him tearfully how I had compromised my life, heart, and body over the past years. But I sensed that

He had taken the filthy rags I was clothed in and given me the sparkling gown of a beautiful princess. His amazing love had fully revived my shattered, wounded, bleeding heart. And though I knew that

instead of judging me, he was inwardly weeping over every piece of my shattered heart. Coming face-to-face with this kind of infinite kindness left me stunned.

One morning, as I was sitting alone on

now I must sacrifice all I had ever known in order to be with him, there was not a shred of doubt lingering in my mind. It was like giving him a pile of worthless pebbles and receiving a houseful of priceless

a bench in the crisp spring air, I felt him softly approach me. He didnʼt have to speak. I took a long look into the unfathomable depths of love in his eyes, and I melted. With tears coursing down my

jewels in return. !

Over the past several years, I have interacted with thousands of young women my age. Rarely have I met one who didnʼt relate to my childhood longing

face like a cascading waterfall, I fell into his arms and told him passionately that my heart belonged to no one but him. At that moment, my life, my pursuits, my friends, everything I had built my world around,

to become a beautiful princess. Whether we were a tree-climbing tomboy with skinned knees or a tea-pouring cherub in ringlets; whether our ambition in life was to run a household or run the United States

faded away into nothingness. None of it

—there seems to be a common bond we share...a deep, unshakable, intrinsic

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set apart walk longing to be tenderly cherished forever by a noble prince to whom we may entrust our heart. We long to experience the kind

only to be used and violated and left holding shattered dreams. Others starve themselves or willingly become sex toys,

of amazing, breathtaking love we read about in fairy tales, hear about in love songs, or see unfold on movie screens.

Most of us would even be willing to give up everything we hold dear just to ride

in the hope that by doing so they might be found beautiful and valuable. Some simply give up all hope and decide it is not worth trying anymore—they plunge into depression or drivenness and keep the

away into the sunset with the man of our dreams.

But we live in a culture that is out to destroy all such dreams with a vengeance.

Most of us are incredibly young and naive

pain buried under the surface for as long as they possibly can.

Our culture tells us that instead of dreaming about giving our heart to some mythical knight in shining armor, we would

when our innocent hopes are trampled, whether by an abusive father, a divorceriddled family, a merciless sex predator, or simply the cruel taunts of our classmates.

Wounded and desperate, we embark upon

be far wiser to spend our time looking out for ourselves. Sadie, a frustrated college sophomore, wrote me an e-mail not too long ago that included this statement:

a search to find value, to find someone who will accept us, approve us, cherish us, and tell us we are beautiful.

Growing up, I was privileged enough to have a wonderful mom and dad who reminded me often that I was special and loved. Many girls arenʼt so blessed. But even with the positive influence of my parents, I gradually allowed the culture to convince me that in the eyes of the world I was considered worthless and ugly.

Almost every young woman I meet has, to some degree, bought into this same lie.

Like I did, many young women willingly offer their hearts, their emotions, or their bodies to anyone who seems like he might somehow fulfill that deep longing within—

...my childhood longing to be loved and cherished by a tender knight that I could follow to the ends of the earth was placed in my heart

by Him. “This may sound crazy, but I am starting to get the feeling that every guy I meet is

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set apart walk only spending time with me because he wants to use my body.”

But unfortunately, it does not sound

deeper intimacy that I share with someone else...the Prince I wrote about earlier. The One who was waiting for me that morning

crazy. It sounds like reality. No wonder so many young women are throwing their

by the apple trees when I went out for my walk. The One I finally surrendered to on that unforgettable spring morning a few months later. The One who passionately loved me, tenderly held me, and deeply cherished me in a way I had never before experienced, in a way that fulfilled all my childhood longings and desires.

hands up in defeat and settling for a broken heart and shattered dreams. In todayʼs world, it can be nearly impossible for us to believe that there could ever be anything more.

After hearing about my love story with Eric many young women have told me, “Leslie, itʼs not fair! You married the last true knight in shining armor on the planet!

No more exist!”

Yes, Eric and I did have an amazing love story. However, my love story with Eric is only a small reflection of a much

The One who rescued me from the dingy prison cell I had wandered into, cut the iron chains away from my feet and hands, tenderly washed me clean from my life of sin, transformed me into His princess, and carried me away into the sunset to His land.

My true Prince is not Eric. My true Prince is Jesus Christ. Eric, with all his amazing qualities, could never meet the deepest needs inside my heart the way my true Prince has. If not for the tender love of my true Prince, my love story with Eric would not have even been possible.

The romance of my love story with Eric is

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set apart walk only a faded glimmer of the spectacular beauty of the love story I share with my Jesus Christ. In fact, my childhood longing

for, searching for, and dreaming of since childhood. The One who will love us the way no one else can love us; the One who

to be loved and cherished by a tender knight that I could follow to the ends of the earth was placed in my heart by Him. Jesus Christ alone can fulfill that desperate longing.

will cherish us forever; the One who will transform us from a hopeless girl in rags into a beautiful, confident, radiant princess. He is the One who makes us ready for true, lasting, human love. And

So many of us, though we claim to know Jesus Christ, are still longing for our deepest desires to be fulfilled by someone else. We frantically seek the man of our dreams, giving ourselves completely to

He is the One that meets our deepest needs when human love falls short.

No matter how many times our dreams have been shattered, or how many times our heart has been trampled, or how far

one relationship after the next, hoping that when we finally find the right guy our romantic fantasies will become reality.

Most of us donʼt ever realize that Jesus Christ is not a flimsy flannel board figure

we have strayed from Him, our Prince is standing outside our dungeon window, tenderly calling out our name, patiently waiting for us to hear His voice and invite Him to rescue us from the bleakness of a

from a Sunday school lesson; that He is not a stern dictator looking down on us from heaven to make sure we obey His rules; that He is not a distant being who is too busy running the world to care about

life lived without Him. He is passionately longing for us, eager and ready to hold us, wash us clean, heal us, and carry us away to His land to cherish us as His princess forever. This kind of fairy-tale romance

the details of our day-to-day lives; and that He is so much more than someone we say we believe in to keep ourselves out of hell when we die.

He is the Lover of our soul. Our true

between a young woman and her true Prince does not come without sacrifice. It does not come without pain. But it is the most priceless gift we will ever be offered.

And it is the most beautiful and fulfilling

Prince. The One we have been longing

existence we could ever know or imagine.*

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take it deeper

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Wrestling

Prayer

Wrestling Prayer is filled with practical ways to help you build a stronger prayer life. A lot of us feel defeated in our spiritual life. Many of us have tried praying without success, and our expectations of God diminished as a result. For much of my Christian journey, this was how I felt in my prayer life - frustrated and discouraged. But over the past few years, I’ve learned some important things about prayer that have revolutionized my spiritual walk.

Prayer can’t be baked down into a step-by-step recipe or cookie-cutter

formula. But there are some Biblical principles that, when applied to your personal prayer life, can revolutionize your experience with a God who hears and answers prayer. If you are feeling lackluster in your prayer life, don’t miss this challenging and inspiring book!

a passionate communion with God 53

set apart walk

availeth much

A Sister’s Testimony of God’s Power to Save

by annie wesche

54

set apart walk The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

(James 5:16)

On the morning of October 27th, I knew that the day would be different. I had made my way over to the chapel for 5:30am prayer on the Ellerslie campus and during that time it became clear that there were many students feeling like they had hit a wall spiritually.

Weʼd be spending the day in aggressive prayer.

Prayer that goes after the promises of the Kingdom of God and cries out for it to be brought down to earth.

When morning prayer had closed, I made my way back to my room to dive into some personal study, but instead opened up my journal to express my burdened heart before God. entry from that morning:

Hereʼs my

Beloved, I trust you.

This day may begin with unknowns, but You are known and I long to know You still more through this day. There’s a moving of your Spirit among these students, and they are asking for help to get past the “wall” spiritually.

Show me where you want me today, Lord. I rest in You. You will have victory.

You will accomplish it in every seeking heart.

I then closed my journal with my brother John heavily on my heart. “I trust You, Lord,” I prayed. “Whatever happens today with John, I trust that You are after his soul. I will trust you no matter what I see happening outwardly.”

At the beginning of the morning session, Eric asked everyone who had hit a wall spiritually to raise their hand if they wanted prayer and if they wanted to specifically hit their doubt, fear, or other weight with Godʼs truth. Many hands went up, but instead of my brotherʼs being among them, he got up and walked out, his inner turmoil visible on his face.

“Lord, no! He needs You! Donʼt let him run!” I silently cried out. I was on my knees in the back of the chapel and felt that all-familiar ache that he would miss all that God had for him. A gentle Voice quickly reminded me of my declaration that morning to trust no matter what John displayed outwardly. “Lord,” I whispered, “I trust you. Heʼs in the heat of the battle to surrender. I trust You. You long for Him more than I ever could.”

Moments later, after God had moved on his soul bringing him to willingness, I

55

set apart walk found myself in a back room of the chapel along with Ellerslie staff, a handful of eager students, and John. Three things

countenance now displayed the new reality of his soul. John was free indeed and the days that have followed since

were abundantly clear: John had come to the end of himself and was desperate for Life. Every person in that room deeply loved him and cared for his soul. And the Spirit of God was there leading him unto

have only proven a fuller testimony of this truth.

salvation in Christ Jesus while Eric laid out the Gospel Truth.

prayer-warring parents, and the same truth floating in and out of his ears, but he had never reckoned it true for his own soul and died to himself.

He spent years genuinely desiring to follow Christ, but all

Much of what I remember from that hour is blurred through tears. I knew that what was unfolding was a work of God, and God alone. My tears were out of deep joy, one of the deepest I have ever experienced. God, my God and my own Rescuer was introducing Himself to my beloved brother.

In that very moment when John reckoned the truth of Godʼs Word true for him, I witnessed him cross from death to life and watched as the burdens of guilt and shame, fear and selfdependence slid off his shoulders and land onto the ground with a glorious thud.

Moments later, John emerged from the room and eagerly gave testimony to the rest of the fall class of what God had just done for him. How I wish that I could lend you an ear to what that time was like!

John 8:36 says, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.”

New Life. He had it. His soul was tasting it.

His mouth declared it.

And his

John had been raised in the same home as I was, with the same godly,

the while being bound to the inability of his flesh to walk out righteousness.

He had it. his soul was tasting it. his mouth declared it!

But on the 27th, the Word of God became true for John and his life was changed - literally ex-changed. And on the 28th, I watched as my brother bent his knees and went down into the waters of baptism, proclaiming his death to self, sin, and the enemy, and new life in Jesus Christ and his allegiance to Him alone.

This moment tops the charts of my life thus far and I wonder what my heart would feel had I not spent moments and days

56

set apart walk going after it through prayer, seeking my God who is faithful.

May you be encouraged, dear reader,

The past few days have enlarged my heart with immeasurable gratitude towards

by this testimony of answered prayer.

May it stir in your heart a fresh fire to run to your knees and know that, “the fervent prayer of a righteous man (or woman) availeth much!”

Availeth much actually

the Lord.

There were moments throughout the years when I grew closer to discouragement rather than faith in praying for my brother, but it was the Lordʼs own faithfulness in my life day after

means to be powerfully effective.

Itʼs powerfully effective because we pray to One who is all-powerful. And He says, “If you ask anything in my name, (whatever is in agreement with Christ) I will do

day that held me to hope of His grace and power. Twenty other students also found triumph that day at Ellerslie and we all were made more aware of what a Rescuer our God is! We walk with a King who is

it.” (John 14:14) Draw near to the Lord and do not lose heart, for it is “not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.” (Matthew 18:14)

mighty to save, and the more we know Him, the more our faith grows in what He can and will do! Truly God is faithful! *

Truly God is faithful! * If you are hungry to hear the Gospel afresh, reckon the truths of Christ’s death, resurrection, and ascension as true for you at a deeper level or perhaps you long to be better equipped for leading someone through the Gospel, I’d love for you to go to this link and hear the latest sermon from The Church at Ellerslie.

This is the message Eric gave the Sunday following our triumphant week at Ellerslie.

CLICK HERE My Brother John and I at the Ellerslie Banquet

57

A Semester at Ellerslie wi! E"c and Leslie Ludy

2011 Winter/Spring:

A MESSAGE FROM ERIC & LESLIE:

February 14 - April 17

The Ellerslie semester-long intensive training program combines powerful Biblical training with a set apart, spiritually-rich environment, tailormade for cultivating intimacy with Christ and becoming equipped for world-impacting Christian service.

It’s a life-changing experience designed to super-charge your spiritual walk, ground you in a Gospel worldview, give you an unshakeable passion for God’s Word, and prepare you for a lifestyle of Kingdom work.

We would count it a privilege to

2011 Summer: June 13 - August 13

2011 FALL: October 8 - December 11

a$ly at:

www.ellerslie.com

personally invest into your spiritual life through this program!

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"God's sacred intent for you and for me is nothing short of absolute abandonment to Jesus, entire separation from the pollution of the world, and ardent worship of our King with every breath we take."

- Leslie Ludy

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Available now online!

- click here -

the secret of contentment WEEK SEVEN

Elizabeth Elliot said, “The difficulty is to keep a tight reign on our emotions. They may remain, but it is not they who are to rule the action.

They have no authority. A life lived in God is not lived on the plane of the feelings, but of the will. In Scripture the heart is the will – the man himself, the spring of all action, the ruling power bestowed on him by his Creator, capable of choosing and acting.” (Elizabeth Elliot, Quest for Love, page 38) This is the secret – whether we are single or married – to finding contentment no matter what our situation. To turn down the volume of our selfish, screaming emotions and attune our ears to our King’s gentle whisper. To yield to His strength rather than the power of our own desires. To choose to love, give, serve and pour out our lives for Him, asking nothing in return. It’s what He did for us. And it’s what He asks us to do for Him. If the thought of laying everything (especially the hope of marriage) on the altar before your King, expecting nothing in return, makes you feel apprehensive, depressed, or hopeless, you can be sure those emotions are not coming from God. The enemy of our soul is always busy at work, trying to speak words of doom to our minds, whispering that following God’s ways will only lead to heartache, disappointment and disillusionment. He often causes us to believe that we are surrendering to a scowling Master who takes pleasure in making us unhappy.

I used to imagine telling God I was willing to be single, then spending the rest of my days in a long drab-grey dress, sitting by the window in a rocking chair, rocking my life away in misery. Or when I imagined giving up my life to serve the least around the world, I used to picture spending my days in a dismal hut in Africa, covered with bugs and lice, wasting away in misery. But those fears merely exposed the fact that I didn’t truly know the nature of my God, and therefore, I didn’t truly trust Him with all my heart...

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sister of the common life a s i l E t Mee Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. Â All rights reserved. Â No material from this website may be copied, reproduced, or distributed without express written permission from The Church at Ellerslie.

Q:

Elisa, how did you come to Christ

and choose a set-apart life for Him? From the age of 14 I struggled with bulimia due to family issues. I was always seen as a happy girl but inside of me I was filled with despair and shame. I believed myself to be an atheist and despised Christians as the ones I knew did not portray the character of Christ and lived a very hypocritical life. One day two really good friends invited me to church. I always had different excuses not to attend, but one day I had none and decided to go.

They were very persistent and their love for the Lord gave them great boldness with me. On a Wednesday evening we went to the youth service. When I entered the room I still could feel my cold heart, hard as a stone. My eyes were completely blinded to the love of Christ for me and I did not know that this was the night I was going to give my life to the One I thought I hated. The first sentence that the pastor spoke was ‘In this room a lot of you need Jesus Christ tonight’. In my heart I denied it and told myself ‘I don’t need Jesus, you need Jesus’.

Until today I still don’t know what really happened that night. Right after I thought I didn’t need Him, I found myself in front of the altar, on my knees crying like a little child to her dad. I was crying out for help and forgiveness, my heart was completely broken before Jesus Christ as I saw my pride and hatred towards the One who gave Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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His life for me. When I was talking to Him I felt His peace and love - I will never forget that moment. Then I stood up and smiled and knew that something had changed.

But the next morning I started to doubt again. I decided to put God to the test and asked Him to completely deliver me from bulimia and thus prove that He truly is God. That afternoon I went to the bathroom intending to do what I was used to after every meal but I stopped in front of the mirror instead. I believe that the Lord wanted me to see what He had done the day before. I looked at myself and even though I was physically the same person something else was emanating from me. It was similar to light; all the darkness around me was gone. That is when I realized that He truly did change me and that He was God! Since that day I have been set free from bulimia and the Lord restored my health as well.

Even today I still cannot understand my conversion but I know He changed me.

Q: What have been some of your greatest challenges and victories in your Christian walk?

One of my greatest challenges has been to live for God despite people’s opinions. Before I became a Christian my whole existence was centered on what people thought of me and how they expected me to behave. Very early in my walk with Him the Lord asked me to do things that did not make sense to me and especially to the people around me. My love for Him is tried each day and He gently shows me that I cannot love myself more than Him. I have learned to step out of my comfort zone and trust Him to use me in my weaknesses.

I cannot be a half-hearted disciple or a coward if I truly desire to be useful in His hands. Obviously, this is a daily challenge but if I intend to live for Him with my whole heart I know He will help me. True joy is found in obedience and surrender.

My greatest victories have taken place when I decided to obey instead of walking my own way.

Q: How did you develop a passion for overseas missions?

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As I grow closer to Christ He gives me a greater passion for the lost souls. I always remember that I came to Christ through people telling me about Him! “How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?” (Romans 10:14) If the Lord wants me to go anywhere in particular, I hope to obey Him without wavering.

Overseas mission trips are very challenging because everything is different from what we are used to (e.g. the culture, the food, the language, the climate…). Going overseas does represent an adventure and to some extent there is excitement at the idea of discovering new people and a new country. But we also need to remember that as we step in the country we enter a hostile territory and unless we know what we are getting ourselves into we can quickly become disillusioned. The only thing that keeps us serving with our whole heart is our love for Christ and our knowledge of Him. Q: What drew you to go to Haiti?

I have lived in the Caribbean for almost ten years and have often been around Haitians but I never got to truly know them and their history.

Last year during my second year of study at my university we were asked to write an essay on a country of our choice, focusing on the relationship between state and society. I do not know why but Haiti was my first thought. As I was writing I truly began to feel a burden for Haiti the population seemed to have gone through so much suffering from the government over the years and natural disasters made the situation even worse. I believe that as I was writing about Haiti God gave me a glimpse of His burden for the Haitian population. I started to research more and more about the country. Then when I heard about the earthquake on January 12 of 2010, I knew that I had to pray more for Haiti and seek God as to what He wanted me to do. As I prayed I truly felt led to go in Haiti in the summer. I did not know what I was going to do but I couldn’t stop thinking about the country and its people. I decided to give a talk at my youth group about what the Lord laid on my heart to do during the

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summer. He provided all the funds through my brothers and sisters at University. I still do not understand how, but He did it.

Several months later, as I got closer to my departure I felt like my desire to go was fading away. I wasn’t excited as I was before and above all I was fearful of what could happen. I was going to travel alone in a country I don’t know, and be with people who experience suffering and hunger on a daily basis. When I flew to Haiti I knew that it was entirely

by faith because my desire and excitement to go were almost gone. I didn’t know at the time that this was necessary so that all my joy and strength would come from Christ because now I had nothing else to rely on.

Q: What kind of ministry did you do there?

I worked in an orphanage which opened about two months after the earthquake. I was living there with Haitians and we shared the same lifestyle. That was one of the ways God used to build trust between us.

I cared for and discipled about eight children every day. Most of them were orphans and some had lived in the streets or very poor

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conditions. I was teaching them French in the morning, we had activities in the afternoon and Bible Study in the evening. I was also working in an eye clinic in Port-au-Prince two days a week. We visited slums in Port-auPrince and rescued two little girls. We fed widows, sang and prayed with them! We had prayer meetings with the fishermen in our town and visited people in need. It would be difficult to describe all the things I did but in a nutshell we made ourselves available for Christ and He used us in our weaknesses.

Every day was different and full of challenges but there has never been a day when Christ did not work in my heart and used me for His glory.

Q: Can you share any stories of how you saw God’s faithfulness during your trip to Haiti?

I think that the Lord showed me His faithfulness particularly through His daily protection. Haiti is a very dangerous place in some aspects, especially since I was on my own and not traveling with a team. I remember the second night I spent in Haiti we went to an open air preaching. People were coming from different areas of town with their chairs to listen. The American doctor who founded the orphanage was preaching that night and the title of his message was “Are you a sheep or a goat?” As he was preaching a man started to get really angry and threw his chair and rocks in our direction. That is when the Lord showed me that the truth is not only for Americans or rich Europeans but for everyone. Haitians also need to hear the truth despite their poverty and suffering.

God truly protected me from people’s bad intentions and I will never forget how He calmed all my fears. Many times we took risks but the Lord always delivered and protected us. I have seen His hand of protection over me like I had never seen before.

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Q: Where do you feel God leading you in the future?

At the moment I truly sense that God is preparing me for my next step after I graduate from my university in July. I feel led to go back to Haiti but I know that I am not ready yet for what He wants me to do.

When I was in Haiti this summer I realized that my faith in Christ was not as strong as I thought it was. I also realized that my love for Him wasn’t always pure and sadly depended on many external things. I did not know that until I went through hard trials and challenges. I did not always rejoice in suffering and I know that in order to glorify Him I need to embrace it fully. The Lord is preparing me for suffering because if I go back to Haiti, I know I will be called to give everything that I am to the Haitians and truly hold nothing back. I have seen many people go to Haiti with good intentions but the truth is, it’s not enough. It is only through sacrifice and self-denial that Christ and Him only will be seen. We are already so different from them it is our duty and privilege to identify with them in all areas possible in order to reach them for Christ.

Q: What would you say to other young women who feel called to serve in Haiti?

The most important thing is to know your God and remember that your life is not your own. Make sure you do not go to Haiti with romanticized views of missions. It will harm you because this does not represent the reality of missions. Yes, yo u w i l l e x p e r i e n c e m a ny j oy f u l moments with the Lord and the people you will be ministering to but you will also face darkness and suffering. It is possible to do mission work without taking risks, but I believe that this is not what a Christian is called to. If Christ gave it all, why do we think we can hold anything back from Him? I would like to encourage my sisters to seek God before they go but especially

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while they are on the mission field. When I was in Haiti, I had to battle in order to have regular prayer times with the Lord and His Word. There was such a spiritual heaviness in Haiti and the heat was sometimes unbearable, but without prayer our work is ineffective. Whatever comes your way keep your eyes on Christ and do not be ashamed of your weaknesses because the Lord will use them for His glory. Your intimacy with the Lord is the most important thing. When you love your King more than anything else, nothing, nothing can stop you!

As Daniel 11:32 says, “the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.” *

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“theArt of Hospitality”

by Leslie Ludy

the Secrets of Social

grace

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set apart style …well reported for good works…if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted…

1 Tim 5:10

Use hospitality one to another without grudging.

1 Peter 4:9 My mom grew up in the south. She has an

treatment. They always feel special, honored,

amazing knack for hospitality, because she

and valued when they are treated to my

grew up in a place where genuine hospitality

momʼs marvelous hospitality.

is a way of life. When she receives guests into her home, the environment is peaceful,

I have not yet quite mastered this level of

orderly and refreshing, with quiet music

hospitality in my own home, though I hope to

playing in the background. The table décor is

someday!

beautiful, with fresh flowers, lovely dishes,

ahead of time, I still find myself rushing

candles, and unique seasonal touches. The

around at the last minute, right as people are

food is delicious and satisfying, and you

arriving.

always get the feeling that it was especially

recipes seem, they hardly ever turn out just

prepared just for you. And instead of running

right.

around distractedly when company shows up,

perfectly, there is incredible satisfaction in

my mom has mastered the art of being

opening my home and welcoming people in –

prepared by the time her guests arrive, so she

whether they are strangers or close friends.

can enjoy their fellowship instead of stressing

And when we are able to practice hospitality

over last minute details.

Her seemingly

toward people who donʼt otherwise get invited

effortless preparations help everyone relax

places, itʼs even more fulfilling – because we

and enjoy themselves to a much greater

realize we are making an eternal impact.

degree.

No matter how organized I feel

And no matter how fool-proof my

But even when things donʼt come off

And whether her guests are close

family members, or a family of poor refugees,

True hospitality is a sacred art; the act of

everyone receives the very same royal

sharing what you have with others; opening

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set apart style your home to friends and people in need

Jesusʼ version of hospitality is quite

and blessing them with refreshment and

backwards from our modern thinking.

love.

Just like etiquette, hospitality is a

Rather than using hospitality as an

fading ideal in our modern era. Most young

opportunity to increase our social status or

women today are so self-focused that the

quell our own desire for friendship, He says

only time they think of being hospitable is

to use it as a chance to reach out to the

when it somehow benefits them.

But

outcasts of society, the ones that no one

Scripture is clear that true hospitality is not

else deems valuable. While there is certainly

having a few friends over every week to

Scriptural endorsement placed upon inviting

hang out and play games or watch movies.

close friends and family members to be

Rather, itʼs a demonstration of honor, love

guests in our home – we shouldnʼt stop

and selflessness. Itʼs an act of “washing the

there.

saintsʼ feet” – to refresh, uplift and

those who are lonely, outcast, and poor,

strengthen other believers in their faith. Itʼs

bring them into our homes, and treat them

an opportunity to “lodge strangers” – to

as royalty.

share your home and resources with those

#

in need of shelter, food and love.

Itʼs a

Iʼve spoken with countless missionaries

practical way of “relieving the afflicted” – a

whoʼve been guests in the homes of poor

decision to put selfish wants aside and pour

people in other cultures – often the family

your time, energy and focus into those who

has nothing but a meager supply of food, but

are lonely, discouraged, sick, or struggling.

even if they have to sacrifice their own

#

dinner, they will do whatever it takes to

Jesus said,

serve a meal to their company and treat

"When you give a dinner or a supper, do not

them with the utmost honor.

ask your friends, your brothers, your

put American Christians to shame. Most of

relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they also

us donʼt know how to treat anyone as more

invite you back, and you be repaid but when

important than ourselves, let alone sacrifice

you give a feast, invite the poor, the

our own food or comforts in order to serve

maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be

someone we barely know. Itʼs shameful that

blessed, because they cannot repay you; for

dirt-poor families around the world can excel

you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the

at the sacred art of hospitality, and we who

Christ says we are to search out

Such stories

just." (Luke 14:12-14) Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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set apart style have so very much donʼt understand the first

writing, my friendships, my music, my home,

thing about how to treat others as royalty.

etc).

#

hospitality in a nutshell.

Hospitality, much like social grace, is a

#

reflection of true, Christ-shaped femininity.

Itʼs not an art I always excel at. When I am

When a young womanʼs focus is not on

going through extra-busy seasons or feeling

herself, but on serving, honoring and

stressed, hospitality quickly falls by the

blessing those in need, hospitality is the

wayside. In our American culture, itʼs all too

natural byproduct.

easy to get caught up in our own little busy

#

world and forget to open our lives, hearts,

Here are two practical ways to begin:

and homes to others. Time and time again,

To me, thatʼs the sacred art of

Godʼs Spirit has gently reminded me that

Become a Peaceful #Meadow

when I make sacred hospitality a priority, I

You donʼt have to have your own home to

Him.

excel in the sacred art of hospitality. When I

#

was sixteen, I received a card that artistically described the “spiritual meaning” of my

Make Your Space a Welcoming Haven

name.

The

I remember visiting a missionary training

definition of a “peaceful meadow” was a

college, where two young women were living

place where others could come and find rest

in a small hotel-style room on the campus.

and refreshment.

I felt that God was

Rather than keeping their room cold and

reminding me, through that simple definition,

impersonal, they added some simple

that my life was meant to be a place of

touches, and transformed their room into a

peace and refreshment for others.

restful haven for all who entered.

Leslie:

peaceful meadow.

am valuing what He values and honoring

As I

They

learned to invest in othersʼ lives, listen to

placed a cozy rocking chair in one corner.

their stories, pray with them and spend time

They positioned a vase with fresh flowers on

with them, I discovered what it meant to be a

the dresser. They added some hand-made

meadow where people could be refreshed.

pillows to their hotel beds. And they hung

As Iʼve grown older, itʼs my goal to be a

their favorite photos in frames on the wall.

peaceful meadow through all that I do (my

Everyone who came into their “home” felt

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amazement, she saw that somehow the bleak chamber had been transformed into a sacred sanctuary. “Unbelievably, against all logic, the cell was charming,” Corrie wrote.

“The straw pallets were rolled instead of piled in a heap, standing like little pillars among the walls, each with a ladyʼs hat atop it. A headscarf had somehow been hung on welcomed and refreshed, and quickly forgot that they were sitting in a cramped hotel room.

The contents of several food

packages were arranged on a small shelf.

Even the coats hanging on their hooks were part of the welcome of that room, each sleeve draped over the shoulder of the coat

# Iʼll never forget reading the story of Betsy ten Boom, when she and her sister Corrie were first put into prison for hiding Jews in their home during the Nazi invasion.

The

p r i s o n w a s fi l t h y, d a r k , r a n c i d a n d overcrowded with despairing, sick, miserable women.

the wall.

Corrie and Betsy were

separated into different cells, and Corrie spent many days wondering how Betsy – who loved beauty, flowers, and sunshine – was fairing in such a destitute, ugly place.

Betsy had always had a gift for making things beautiful – for creating beauty all around her, no matter where she was, even on a meager income. But how could a dank prison cell be made into a haven? One day, Corrie got the chance to walk by Betsyʼs cell and took a quick glimpse inside.

To her

next to it like a row of dancing children.” (from The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, John and Elizabeth Sherril).

The sacred beautiful environment Betsy had miraculously created was simply a reflection of the beauty and sacredness in Betsyʼs inner life.

Even a dismal prison cell could

not crush Betsyʼs radiance and joy – because her inward beauty came from Jesus Christ.

And that Heavenly beauty

could not help but spill over into her environment, no matter where she was.

Thomas Kinkade writes about the “glow in the windows” that he adds to nearly all his paintings of homes and cottages. Itʼs a glow that comes from a home full of laughter, love, and warmth. He says:

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set apart style Here in America, we’ve installed television

heart? Do you laugh and enjoy each otherʼs

sets everywhere so that people never have

company, without having to rely on high-tech

to converse. Have you ever walked at night

entertainment to do so?

by a window where the television was on?

focus toward things of Heaven? Do people

The light is dim and cold. But walk at night

come away from your home feeling like

by a window where a fire is flickering, where

theyʼve encountered Christ?

a candle is lit, and see the difference. The

Allow God to mold and refine this area of

warm glow in the windows is so inviting that

your life.

it draws you in.

It’s not high-tech

making the atmosphere of your home more

entertainment that puts warmth in the

welcoming, you may find it helpful to write

windows, but human connection. It’s human

down any practical and creative ideas that

warmth that makes up the golden glow.

come to mind.

(from Simpler Times by Thomas Kinkade).

glow in the windows of your home is one of

Do you turn the

As you think and pray about

Creating your own special

the most fun and enjoyable aspects of GodWhat are some ways that you can add that

centered hospitality, and a beautiful way to

kind of glow to the windows of your own

fulfill one of the calls Heʼs placed upon your

home, in order to bless and refresh others?

life as a set-apart young woman. *

Candles, music, home-made meals, fresh-

Do people come away from your home feeling like theyʼve encountered Christ? b a k e d c o o k i e s , fl o w e r s , a n d w a r m decorations can go a long, long way in adding that cozy welcoming light to your home.

But itʼs even more important to

consider the activities and attitudes that take place when you invite people over. Do you cultivate meaningful conversation? Do you sit and really listen as they share their

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Purpose of place

by Annie Wesche

CREATING A

Beautiful Haven Turning a Dorm Room Into a Sanctuary

by Jade Valcarcel

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set apart style

Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31

Iʼve lived in Colorado for 5 years now and have had a different home for each of those years, but with every place that Iʼve lived, I have learned in increasing measure just how important it is for me to be purposeful about my living space.

My home, rented room, apartment, or dorm room was always the place of refuge that I could come home to and either settle in with peace, order, and inspiration, or drop my things to the floor and look around at the chaos that awaited me.

Now that I am settled in my dorm room here at Ellerslie, Iʼve once again learned to purpose my organization for the life God has called me to here. From the day I moved in, I dedicated this sacred space to the Lord and prayed that it would always be a sanctuary for worship and intimacy with Him and a place of rest. And God has given me all that Iʼve asked of Him. Iʼm delighted to invite you in for a visit and hope that in the process you may find some pockets of inspiration to begin in your own life and living space!

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set apart style

prepare.

Whether you have your own house or only a tiny bedroom to call yours, the state of your living space will directly influence whether you thrive or merely survive from day to day.

difficult to say no to an extra hour of sleep. (Which inevitably sends my day into the dreaded “catch up mode”.)

• I take 10 minutes to tidy up my room before bed.

Mornings come early here at Ellerslie, and thereʼs no better feeling than waking up to a clean and “ready” room. If everything is in itʼs place, then it warmly invites me to leave my cozy bed and take on the day.

But if there are a hundred messes and distractions when I open my eyes, I find it so much more Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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• I set out my clothes the night before. I find thereʼs nothing more frustrating than losing time in my morning trying to decide what to wear. The pants for that top are dirty, I could wear this dress but it needs to be ironed, where on earth did those shoes go! Setting out my clothes the night before will keep any of these frustrations and timewasters out of my morning, keeping time in itʼs proper place and giving more time for stillness with Jesus - the truest preparation for a day.

• I prepare my place of worship and study. Mornings are one of the sweetest, stillest parts of the day, and meant to be spent for my King Jesus.

But if my desk is cluttered and stacked a mile high with papers, notes and such itʼs like seeking to have a quite intimate talk with my groom only to find myself in a train station of noise, countless distractions, and people tugging at my sleeve. So along with tidying my room at night, I clear away the dayʼs papers and piles, and set my Bible, journal & study books out, ready to be cracked open at dawn. (I also

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set apart style keep my email program closed down and on silent so that Iʼm not tempted to check it in the middle of my quiet time.)

some of my favorite quotes with some of my favorite photos. The result was a set-apart gallery that not only makes me smile, but serves as a daily reminder of my calling as a woman of God. These three happen to highlight “Sacred Honor”, “Set Apart”, and “Sacred Claim”.

• Photo Gallery.

The frames on my wall hold photos of those near and dear, serving as reminders to pray for them. I have my parents and brother, close kindred friends, the children

inspire.

Wa l l s c a n p r e s e n t a b e a u t i f u l opportunity to inspire, encourage, and edify our walks with Christ. Rather than focus only on whatʼs beautiful I try to weave these elements into it. Here are some of the ways that I do: • Frame Truth.

A couple years back I made collages combining Copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie. All rights reserved.

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set apart style in my life, and one of a missionary friend, Danita, holding a small Haitian baby girl. Theyʼre hung all around a tack board where I can hang scripture verses, inspiring quotes, or the traced hands of lilʼ Harper Grace Ludy.

• Other Ideas. You could also hang up a world map, posting reminders about the persecuted church or missionaries you may know or are supporting. I know a set-apart girl who also created a prayer gallery posting small photos of all of those people who she wants to be faithful to remember in prayer.

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set apart style

thrive.

In order to thrive in my busy schedule of personal spiritual growth, teaching at Ellerslie, design work, our online girlʼs magazine, video production, website management, taking care of kiddos, and investing in relationships, I must have order. Iʼve known all too well what can cause stress and stir up frustration, so to walk in obedience Iʼve cultivated disciplines that help guard against even the opportunities to be frustrated or stressed. Here are some things I have learned and put into practice:

• Ready to Thank. I love stationary and treasure a well-written, timeinvested letter, but Iʼve learned that if I donʼt have things handy, I quickly forget about the art of thank you notes and encouraging letters.

Both gratitude and encouragement are marks of the believer. So to remind myself of this discipline and act of love, I have a couple boxes of stationary sweetly displayed right on my desk. When I think of someone I need to thank or encourage, I can grab a note and write it that very moment.

• Catch it all. Sometimes I just canʼt keep up with everything, so rather than allow piles all over my room, I have a ʻcatch allʼ basket - neatly contained and hidden in the shelves of my desk. Then every weekend I can go through it and file, respond, sort or toss. Without this basket, my desk quickly becomes one big pile of distraction, but with it, I can keep moving ahead with things of importance without losing focus or feeling crowded by clutter.

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set apart style

• Separate Spaces. Living on campus here at Ellerslie, itʼs very easy to take my work “home with me”. If I allow the habit to form of working at the desk in my room, then when I go to have a quiet time in the same place, my thoughts can easily drift off to the pressing work that lies ahead that day. So I strive to keep my work in the office and use my desk only for personal study, personal correspondence, & quiet times.

There are so many ways that you can use your space to bless others (for great tips on hospitality, see Leslieʼs article in this issue!) and honor the Lord. Ask Him where your weak points of discipline are: Is it always being rushed

in your morning? Are you unorganized for your personal quiet time or have no place set aside just to be with Him? Are you easily distracted by people or papers strewn about? Do you have trouble finding things? Then take the necessary steps to serve with honor, discipline, and an undivided heart. With a little effort and planning, and a season putting it into practice, you can develop habits that will simply become a natural flow of your life. The purpose of your place puts priority on clearing out distractions, staving off frustration, and redeeming your time. Itʼs not just so others can ooh and ahh over a snappy room and your divine organizational skills, but so they may see a life ordered, disciplined, and freed up to spend itself for what truly matters.*

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The Newest Book from Leslie Ludy take it deeper Order Now!

I

In today’s sex-obsessed society, pop-culture’s idea of feminine beauty seems to be all about looking like the hottest models, movie stars, or pop-singers. But the end results are often tragic - overwhelming insecurity, eating disorders, and sexual promiscuity. This book presents a whole different vision for feminine loveliness as god intended it to be - the breathtaking radiance of a young woman who has been transformed by Christ from the inside out. This book offers lots of practical advice about how to: *Showcase Christ’s beauty in the way you dress, act, and live *Overcome insecurity and see yourself as God sees you *Become attractive to the right kind of guy *Build your femininity on God’s values instead of the world’s The Lost Art of True Beauty will lead you on a life-changing journey to becoming a woman of feminine grace, inner radiance and timeless appeal!

84

in every generation,

there are a few...

setapartgirl CONFERENCE 2011

with Leslie Ludy May 27-29, 2011

Ellerslie Campus, Windsor, CO

COST: $199 on-campus option, inc. meals & lodging $99 off-campus option, inc. lunch/dinner on Saturday Limited space available!

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SET APART VOICES

Set Apart Girls answer the question:

What are some practical ways that you protect your quiet time with Christ each day?

“

I have learned that protecting my quiet time each day takes a certain mindset. I like to think of it as my daily "date" with Jesus.

Every morning I have a scheduled date with Him and it is the last thing that I want to miss. Think about it, if you had a date planned with someone you cared about and loved deeply, they would be really upset if you slept through it or just plain chose not to go. You would probably think about missing it all day. This is the mindset that I try to place on my quiet time with Christ. It is precious, it is special, it is set-apart, and I choose to value my date each morning with my Prince.

Shelby

20 | ILLINOIS

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SET APART VOICES I make it a priority to be with my God as soon as I wake up! I sleep next to my Bible so that it is the first reminder of the faithfulness of my God. I go into my backyard, bring a journal, turn off my phone and put away my computer.

Ashley

19 | FLORIDA

I always rise early enough in the morning to ensure my quiet time with Christ. I avoid reading magazines, watching TV, and anything else that may distract or pull my focus away from Christ in the morning. Christ comes first, then I take care of other things. I've made it a habit to keep my room clean and keep my desk where I have my quiet time organized with as little work or schoolrelated items as possible. This is one way I can keep my room as a sanctuary. Even my younger sisters keep coming in my room just to relax. They said there's something about my room that makes it inviting. Lastly, I do my best not to procrastinate on homework that I won't have to worry about staying up too late or getting up extra early and sacrifice my quiet time as result!

Jaymee

23 | CALIFORNIA

It's been hard trying to find uninterrupted time to be alone with Christ. I have two little siblings whom I love very much, but trying to have a real quiet time when a four and six year old keep coming in to ask if you are done yet is difficult. I choose to get up early and have my quiet time before anyone else is up. So now every morning at six my alarm goes off and I slip out of my room without waking anyone to have my special time with Christ. It hasn't been easy getting up so early but it is worth it.

Katie

14 | CALIFORNIA

NEXT ISSUE’S QUESTION: How have you made your living space into a “sacred sanctuary”?

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the

Photos by Chelsea Mills

kiddo spot 88

HUDSON, age 5 A few nights ago, I was telling Eric that my watch had fallen into a crack under the bathroom sink.

Hudson looked up immediately and said, “Don’t worry, Mama – Daddy and Hudson will rescue it for you.”

Then he rolled up his sleeves, ready to get to work and said, “Now, which sink is it under – I’m gonna go get it for you!” God is shaping this little guy into a true hero!

HARPER, age 3

e t custuff

the ludy kids are “saying & doing”

The other day Harper asked if I could leave her alone in the car while I went grocery shopping. I said no, because I didn’t want any “big meanies” to hurt her.

She told me, “That’s okay, Mama, because I can just hit them with my Lambie and they will run away!” She is fully confident that Lambie (a little stuffed lamb she’s had since she was a baby) will protect her from all things bad. My prayer is that soon she will transfer that faith to the true Lamb of God!

KIPLING, age 2 As he was leaving the house with his grandparents the other day, he looked at me and said as clear as day, “Love you, Mamma!” I was so touched I almost couldn’t let him leave! It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard.

AVONLEA, age 1 Well, she continues to be fearless. While on vacation in California a few weeks ago, she tried to tackle the huge ocean waves and if she got knocked over, she would simply laugh and try to tackle them again. She is the most aggressive little kid I’ve ever seen, and I constantly wonder how God is going to use this huge personality packaged in a squishy little body.

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OUR STAFF’S

RECOMMENDED

GOOD READS.

THE QUOTABLE OSWALD CHAMBERS

by David McCasland

Leslie

This is a book that you can pick up anytime, anywhere and find short, easy-to-digest spiritual truths. And even though the quotes are simple and quick to process, the truths you'll read in this book are anything but shallow.

At any point during the day when you are feeling stressed, distracted or fearful, this book will instantly point your eyes Heavenward and remind you what is truly important.

GLADYS AYLWARD THE LITTLE WOMAN

by Gladys Aylward & Christine Hunter

Annie

- Paxton Hood -

A testimony that is simply packed full of adventure and radical living for Christ, but it comes out of a life so humble and seemingly insignificant to this world.

Every time I read Gladysʼ story, I want to know my God more, for this story reminds me that though I may not be Gladys, her God is my GOD!

Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep; for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as by the latter.

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Leslie’s Blog!

Marriage & mamahood

Moments from my life.

go online to subscribe

MOTHERHOOD: MELT-DOWNS & MOUNTAINTOPS The other day Hudson told me that the bread he was eating made him feel “warm and soft like a teddy bear.” And hearing such a cute statement from a sticky-faced five-year-old made me feel warm and soft like a teddy bear! There are so many cozy and cuddly moments with little children, moments that make all of the screams, whines and demands a little bit easier to accept. Granted, a few moments after Hudson made his teddy bear comment, I faced...

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"... if God has called you to China or any other place and you are sure in your own heart, let nothing deter you... remember it is God who has called you and it is the same as when He called Moses or Samuel."

- Gladys Aylward

inournextissue: top ten time-wasters for young women Part Two what should i do with my life? gaining God’s perspective on your future reflecting heavenly beauty in your appearance

92 Soli Deo Gloria