2010 Sept/Oct Set Apart Girl Issue by Ellerslie

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LE SLI E L UDY’ S

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2011 Set Apart Girl Annual Conference

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letter from leslie BEST-SELLING AUTHOR FOUNDER, SET APART GIRL

Fall in Colorado is truly a glorious time; perfect weather, beautiful sunsets, and aspen trees that sparkle with gold. I always feel a little sad when fall comes, however, because I know how quickly the season passes. But I’ve been thinking about Jim Elliot’s statement, “Wherever you are, be all there.” And so I’ve determined not to lament the shortness of this time, but to soak up every moment of this time to its fullest. This magazine issue is full of articles that will encourage you to do exactly that; to live to the fullest in every area of your life. Not in a “be all that you can be” kind of way, but in a “radical pursuit of the purposes of God in your life” kind of way. Just like our Colorado fall, this can be one of the richest times of your life – and it doesn’t have to end after a couple of beautiful months. A life that is abandoned to Christ gets only more beautiful and exciting with time! You will notice that this magazine issue has a new format – it’s now divided into different topics that tackle key areas of the Set Apart Life – such as romance, intimacy with Christ, and personal conduct and style. I am super-excited about this expanded version of our magazine, and I hope you will draw closer to Him through every page. To God be the glory,

Leslie

letter from annie CREATIVE DIRECTOR

This past Sunday afternoon after church, I found a lovely spot of grass just under a turning tree. I was aching to steal away, spend some time talking with the Lord over what was stirred in my heart that morning, and scribble a few thoughts into my journal. It was perfect. Fall had arrived and was a welcome companion to this precious pocket of time. The moment reminded me of one of my favorite scenes in the movie Amazing Grace when William Wilberforce had just had an encounter with the living God. He had countless responsibilities and pressing matters of state that he should have been addressing, but instead, found himself sitting in a sun-kissed field saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;all I want are spiders websâ&#x20AC;?. He was captivated by the breath-taking wonder of God and that awe demanded that everything else be set aside to sit in worship of his Savior and Creator. Basking under the watchful rays of the sun, feeling fall float into season on a breeze, starring up at a tree where a dozen bees dance around falling leaves, or being wrapped in stillness as I gaze at a sky full of star; fills my heart with worship and gratitude that the Mighty One who made all these things has looked on me with Love. He longs to share Himself with me. May you, my friends, savor a pocket of time each day to simply worship and wonder at the One who is yours. Wishing you a happy fall, filled with His sweetness,

set apart femininity Explore God’s Sacred Intent for Your Life Normal Christianity Set Apart Quote How Not to be a Lady: Part One

8 12 13

set apart relationships Honoring God in Love and Romance My Sister’s Wedding Day There’s this Guy Warrior Poet Manhood

18 24 32

set apart walk Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ In the Secret Place Holy Virgins, a Poem Devotional of the Month Sacrificial Love

38 44 46 50

set apart style Showcasing the Radiance of Christ Secrets to Social Grace Creating a Beautiful Haven

66 72

ineveryissue 6

our contributors

sister of the common life

Q&A with leslie

the kiddo spot

reaching the orphan

1 8

4 2 5

CONTRIBUTORS jade valcarcel

WRITER | COLORADO

Less than a year ago God answered the long-time prayer of my heart to work alongside Eric and Leslie championing the message of a set apart life. I grew up in South Carolina, but now call Colorado my home and delight to fill my days with the four precious Ludy kiddos, assisting Leslie, sharing in student life at Ellerslie Training, and enjoying a growing passion for photography and design. Whether its been through serving as a missionary for a year in Korea or answering ministry emails, it is my greatest delight to serve at the feet of my Beloved Jesus! JADE’S ARTICLE PAGE 72

thaysse costa

POET | FLORIDA

I’m simply one of Gods’s children who daily basks in a dependent life upon the Triune God with all it’s trials and joys. I have been blessed to passionately love, ardently serve, and seek hard after God together with saints and soldiers attending Ellerslie Training. I am especially excited to see our Lord receiving His glory and having the preeminence in all things in and through us. THAYSSE’S POETRY PAGE 44

melodious echo

WRITER | OREGON

I’m a country girl from the Ozarks of Arkansas, currently serving as a "missionary" in Northern Oregon. While a registered nurse by profession, most of my time is spent working with various youth ministries, overseas missions, orphan ministries, doing personal evangelism, and writing/blogging to encourage my friends in their walk with God. I love living the adventure of the "Set-Apart Life" and my greatest interest and passion is living daily for my King, and sharing the joy of this journey with others. MEL’S ARTICLES PAGE 18 & 50

tessa hershberger

WRITER | OHIO

I’m from a little town in Ohio and am incredibly blessed to have a family that has supported and encouraged me in the various places God has taken me in the past few years. God has given me a heart for Thailand and its beautiful people, and my heart’s desire is to one day return there for long term missions, if it be His will. Until then, I look forward to returning to Ellerslie for the fall term, going deeper in the Set Apart life, falling more in love with Jesus, and patiently seeking out His calling on my life. TESSA’S ARTICLE PAGE 13

hear from you

SET-APARTVOICES WE WANT TO Each issue we’d like to begin featuring your voice.

We’d love to hear how you cultivate your set-apart walk with Christ and have no doubt that you’ll be an encouragement to your set-apart sisters.

NEXT ISSUE’S QUESTION: What are some practical ways that you protect your quiet time with Christ each day? Email your answer (along with your first name, age, and state) to jade@ellerslie.com and we just might publish it!

NORMAL Christianity

Responding to our High Calling by Leslie Ludy

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called. Ephesians 4:1

set apart femininity A Christian publisher once told me, “You shouldnʼt always write about missionary-Christians like Gladys Aylward and Amy Carmichael. Why donʼt you share about some normal, everyday Christians who live in the suburbs and work for IBM? Those kinds of Christians are just as important as the ones who go to the mission field. Donʼt just focus on Christians who had a ʻspecial callingʼ to go and change the world.” # Iʼve thought about that statement many times over. What is normal Christianity? Do certain Christians have a special call to live radical lives of abandon to Jesus Christ, while the rest of us are free to wallow in mediocrity and self-indulgence? The heroic Christian women that I admire the most lived anything but “normal, everyday lives”. They all had one very important thing in common; they were passionately, ardently, fervently in love with Jesus Christ. They put Jesus Christ above pleasure, riches, comforts, family, friends, and worldly applause. And they put Jesus Christ far above their “right” to live a self-indulgent, pleasure-seeking life. # Amy Carmichael sacrificed her right to be married and chose instead to spend her life rescuing 1,000 children from being sold into temple prostitution in India. Her romance with Jesus Christ far exceeded the most beautiful fairy tale ever written. (From Gold Cord by Amy Carmichael). # Sabina Wurmbrandt sacrificed her right to live “happily ever after” with the love of her

life, Richard, when it came down to a choice between saving her husband and standing up for her first Love, Jesus Christ. She inspired her husband to stand against those who were blaspheming Christʼs name, and as a result she and Richard were separated by imprisonment for ten long years. (From The Pastorʼs Wife by Sabina Wurmbrandt). # Gladys Alyward spent all of her youth and beauty in a war-torn Chinese village, choosing service for the Kingdom of God over marriage, family and the comforts of this world. And as a result, a hundred violent prisoners were subdued into quiet obedience, two hundred orphanʼs lives were saved and thousands were pulled out of darkness into Godʼs marvelous light. (From The Little Woman by Gladys Alyward and Christine Hunter). Catherine Booth laid down her right to a comfortable marriage and family life – not only allowing her husband to pour out his life for the destitute and dying, but serving right by his side as he did so. She chose all-night prayer gatherings, long days trudging through slums, and attack from the modern church over a stable existence in a cute home with a white picket fence. (From William and Catherine: A New Biography by Trevor Yaxley). # When I study these womenʼs lives, I am astounded and inspired by their level of commitment to Jesus Christ. They didnʼt just say He was their first love; they lived it. Whether they gave up their right to be married in order to serve Christ, or gave up the “happily ever after” lifestyle theyʼd always

dreamed of, nothing was more important than protecting the honor of their Lord and King. # Iʼve heard many modern believers refer to the great heroes of ages past as “special Christians”. So letʼs take a moment to explore this question – did these great women fall into a “special category”; living extreme lives of radical devotion that most ordinary followers of Christ are not called to live? # I fear that all too many of us have fallen prey to the lie that the Christian life is all about us. All too often, we assume we are living the normal Christian life if we attend church a couple times a week, listen to Christian music on our IPOD, and sign an abstinence commitment in our teen years. But the normal Christian life is so much more than a commitment to some moral standards or squeezing some Christian activity into our self-focused, self-built lives. # Ian Thomas said, The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you – your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything – then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it. (The Mystery of Godliness, Zondervan Publishing House, pg 162) Christ said, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up

his cross, and follow Me.” (Mark 8:34) The word “deny” here literally translates: to forget one's self, lose sight of one's self and one's own interests. We are meant to let all thoughts of self become swallowed up in Him. This is normal Christianity. Radical selfdenial, self-sacrifice, and self-abandonment. Completely forgetting about self and selfinterest and willingly and gladly pouring our lives out for the glory of our King. We are called to far more than most of us ever dream or imagine. To go into all the world and make disciples of all nations. To seek and save the lost. To be His hands and feet to the fatherless. To give up our very lives for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I fear

that all too many of us have fallen prey to the lie that the Christian life is all about us. This is not a special calling for a few select followers of Christ. This is the high and sacred call that God has placed every single one of His children. Jesus said, “As the Father has sent Me, I also send you." (John 20:21) When we give our lives to Jesus Christ, we exchange the normal, comfortable, for the radical, extreme and foolish. Normal

set apart femininity Karris, a young woman from California, chose to leave her home and comforts in her early twenties to give her life for orphans in Haiti. (To learn more visit SOLC - meet Karris).

Normal

Christianity means never being “normal” again.

Christianity means never being “normal” again. What does this radical life of abandon to Christ look like on a practical level? Itʼs not about following a formula; but about absolute obedience to the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Itʼs about laying down selfish pursuits and becoming consumed only with serving and loving our King. It looks different for each life, but in every case, there is the fruit of extreme selflessness and radical pouring out for His glory. Jolene, a single young woman from Montana, has chosen to pour out her life for foster children in need – and has already adopted a thirteen-year-old boy as her own. (To learn more visit SOLC – meet Jolene).

Annie, our Set Apart Girl Creative Director, has spent years of her life sacrificially giving her very best time, talents, and energy to build young women into mighty warriors for the Kingdom of God. (To learn more visit SOLC – meet Annie). # No matter where have been or where you are at, Christ has placed this same high calling upon your life. Steal away alone with Christ, and lay your life before Him. Allow Him to gently reveal to you the selfish patterns of your life, and ask Him to forgive you and re-make you in each of those areas. Exchange your right to live a comfortable, predictable life for the privilege of losing everything for His sake. And then get ready for the adventure of a lifetime. # As Jesus said, “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.” (Mark 8:35) # Truly, there is no better way to live.*

A PICTURE OF SET-APARTNESS They say there is a young lady in New Haven who is beloved of that Great Being who made and rules the world. They say that He fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything except to meditate on Him. If you present all the world to her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it. She is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a singular purity in her affections. You could not persuade her to compromise her true Love even if you would give her all the world. She possesses a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and kindness to those around her. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly. She seems to be always full of joy and pleasure, and no one knows exactly why. She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have Someone invisible always conversing with her. -Written of Sara Edwards by Jonathan Edwards, her future husband (from Marriage to a Difficult Man by Elizabeth Dodd). copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

Howtonot be a

by TESSA HERSHBERGER

Lady

~ Lessons From Lady Mar ~

Lesson One:

HASTEN NOT In a society where men have forfeited their masculinity and women have aggressively cheered them on in doing so, the noble atmosphere on the Ellerslie campus is a rare gem. Due to the fact that Ellerslie’s vision places a strong value on God-created masculinity and femininity, the daily student life is a beautiful model of men being gentleman and women being ladies- with delight in doing so! The purpose is not merely to create the atmosphere of a Jane Austin romance, but to follow after the sacred pattern in God’s Word. But how to be a lady? Modern culture certainly isn’t offering any good advice. Perhaps the better question to ask is, How not to be a lady? Although, if that is the question, then we needn’t look any further than the life of the dearly loved Lady Mar of The Scottish Chiefs (our favorite novel here at Ellerslie). Here’s a hint- if you want to be a lady, take a cue from anyone but Joanna Mar. It’s a shame she was born when she was, because her ridiculous behavior would easily win her a prize here in the twenty-first century. I picture her being an award-winning writer for Glamour magazine with her own monthly advice column titled something like Tips for the Hunt or How to Get Your Guy. The sad part is that women today would treat her advice like gold. Lesson number one, ladies: hasten not. Lady Mar is a classic example of a lady who has stripped a man of his responsibility to initiate and pursue and taken it upon herself to try and make something happen. Immediately after meeting him, Lady Mar makes it her primary ambition to snatch up the

honorable love and companionship of William Wallace. The great feminine mistake! She makes quite a habit of being the one to hasten towards (approach, incline towards, cling to, fall upon in a mess of tears…you get the idea) Wallace, rather than the other way around. In a selfish pursuit, all feminine mystique is laid aside and she employs her womanly charm in a (vain) attempt to get what she wants. “No day escaped without bringing [Wallace] letters, either to invite him to Snawdoun, or to lead her to the citadel, where he resided…Indeed [Lady Mar’s] conduct never gave him reason to hold her in any higher respect, for whenever they happened to be left alone, her behavior exhibited anything but the chaste affection to which she made pretensions.” (pgs. 448-449) A true gentleman will not be attracted to the behavior of a lady who does not allow him to behave as he ought. It is only when a woman carefully keeps a guarded heart and sets her sight on Christ alone that her conduct will compel a gentleman to rise to the challenge of winning her heart and proving himself to be a man of God and a man of honor. If anyone knew how to be a man it was Wallace. Had he wanted anything more than a respectful friendship with Joanna Mar after her husband’s death, she should have easily concluded that he was man enough to play his role and eventually make his desires obvious to her. Instead, she lets her mind go completely mad and in one last desperate attempt begs Wallace to take her as his wife: “As she vehemently spoke, and clung to Wallace…and flinging herself on his breast, poured forth all her love and fond ambitions for him…and whispering to him softly, she said, ‘Be but my husband, Wallace…’ She threw 15

herself upon her knees, she wept, she implored his pity, she wound her arms around his and bathed his hands with her tears…” (pgs. 605-606) One feels embarrassed for the woman just reading it! Needless to say, Wallace wasn’t too impressed with the little scene. Ladies, count it a joy to be the lady, and more so a gift from God. If you want your husband to be a real man, learn to hasten not towards that gentleman you’ve had your eyes on. It didn’t work for Lady Mar, and despite the opinion of Glamour, it won’t work for you. (If it does seem to be working, he’s probably not the gentleman you’re looking for.) Instead, “Look to Him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed.” (Ps. 34:5, NRSV) *

NOT TO THINK OF HIM WAS IMPOSSIBLE. HOW TO THINK OF HIM WAS WITHIN HER OWN POWER. - Regarding Lady Helen’s affection for Wallace, The Scottish Chiefs

- PAGE 65, WARRIOR-POET MANHOOD

PAGE EVEN A CHRIST-

4 0

BUILT WARRIORPOET CAN CLAIM AN UNHEALTHY HOLD UPON YOUR THOUGHT-LIFE IF YOU ARE NOT GUARDED AND PURPOSEFUL ABOUT ‘TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE.”

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A WOMAN OF HONOR IS

HER EXPECTATIONS ARE MY INSPIRATIONS

CONFIDENT, FRIENDLY, OUTWARD WAITING ON FOCUSED AND DOES NOT DRAW ATTENTION HIM FOR WHOM TO HERSELF, EITHER IT IS NO VAIN BY EXTREME SHYNESS OR BY THING TO WAIT. EXTREME - Jim Elliot FORWARDNESS... We cannot love the world and love Him at the same time.

p.61

- PAGE 54, IN THE SECRET PLACE

My Sister’s Wedding Day by Melodious Echo It was my sisterʼs wedding day. I had dreamed with her about this moment for so many years. I had walked through her journey to find true love and prayed and cried with her each step of the way. Now, the day weʼd both been waiting for had finally come. It was a perfect day. She was radiantly beautiful, and every detail of her love story had been faithfully scripted by God. With happy tears I helped her into her wedding dress and smiled up to God with thanks for answered prayer. Yet, even as I did so....the enemy attacked, and un-wanted thoughts leaped into my mind. # “Why are you standing here helping your younger sister with her wedding dress, while you are still single,” the voice of self-pity began to badger me. “I bet Godʼs completely forgotten you when it comes to love.” Years ago, Iʼd surrendered this area of my life to God. I had joyfully embraced a life of

This article is an excerpt from

Sacred Singleness

singleness for as long as He desired it for me. And He had been more than faithful to me each step of the journey. Now, the voice of my “surrendered will” began to take a stand against the tempting voice of self-pity.

set apart relationships “God has not forgotten me!” I shot back with conviction. “'Not only do I think He can

Self-pity slipped away in defeat, and I smiled to myself in peace. There was no

do this for me in his own perfect time...I am sure He can do even better than anything I have yet dreamed!” # “But look, Mel....youʼre older than your

way I was going to let those unwanted thoughts mess up my life, let alone this beautiful day. My younger sisterʼs wedding day became one of the happiest days of my life!

sister!” Self-pityʼs voice was relentless. “And you arenʼt getting younger...donʼt you think itʼs a bit too late now?' Old fears I had thought were crucified and nailed to the Cross were obviously not so dead after

Iʼm 32 years old - well past the age I thought I would still be single! Iʼve continued to grow through experiences of both joy and pain, and I still havenʼt met my

all. But I continued to meditate on the faithfulness of my God, and stood my ground. # “I may be getting older...and he is too, if

prince charming. But my life is so full and complete in Christ. And I couldnʼt be happier! Iʼve been privileged to travel to many different countries around the world doing health work and evangelism. Iʼve

heʼs out there! But that only means Iʼm that much closer to an amazing miracle if God so wills. With God, nothing is ever too late!” # “Well,” self-pityʼs voice continued with a

watched hundreds of Kenyanʼs go under the water in baptism, simply because I chose to step out of my comfort zone and go to the bush in Africa to speak the simple gospel words written on a projector screen.

heavy sigh, “ I just hope youʼre prepared...it may be a few years...in fact, it may not ever happen at all!” # I breathed a quick prayer, and then almost

Even here in the United States, while by profession, I am a nurse, my real profession is ministry. Iʼve prayed with hundreds of my patients and have even watched some give their life to Christ.

laughed to myself, as I gained new strength. # “A few years....a hundred years! I donʼt care! I only want a love-story if itʼs Godʼs

There is no greater joy! Many people tell me enviously that Iʼm so lucky Iʼm single

will anyway...and besides...Iʼve got much too happy of a life to sit around and feel sorry for myself! So, letʼs not even go there!”

self-pity’s voice continued with a heavy sigh...

and can do all these things. Some of these are ones that got married right out of high

and asked me to be in their wedding. By Godʼs grace, I could stand in full

school, some have married more than once, and some have marriages that theyʼve found to be less than fulfilling. Of course, even for them, there is still hope for more, yet, I have to say itʼs true! Itʼs not

support . . . even though my own world had shattered. (We are all still very close friends to this day!) But God had a purpose for this heartbreak experience . . . and it was through this, the death of my vision, the

being “lucky” but being “blessed” because Iʼve allowed God to do with my love life what He saw best. # A few years ago, there was a guy in my life

death of my way, that He really became even more real in my life!

that I was very like-minded with, and he was aimed toward the mission field – just like me. Iʼd grown up with him, and had actually prayed for over 8 years that if it was Godʼs will, He would bring us together. However, my hopes and dreams for earthly love came crashing down when he, who also had never dated, started dating one of my close friends. They were later married,

I know that God gave me this season of singleness for a purpose...

set apart relationships Suddenly, with overwhelming clarity, I realized how God felt about me - How

worthwhile ambitions!) But the purpose of my life that God has patiently been seeking

much he loved me, and longed for me to truly be in love with Him. And instead of dreaming of the marriage vows that I hoped to someday share with an earthly prince, the passion of my life began to focus more

to show me over the years was to find my fulfillment in Him - to be fully surrendered and yielded to Him and His plan, His purposes! Itʼs kind of funny, but sometimes I wonder if I still even want to get married!

and more around the vows I should be saying and living daily with my heavenly prince. While it hasnʼt all been easy, I know that

Imagine that? Sometimes I think - if I got married would I still keep the same sweet fulfilling relationship with Christ that I have now? Would a husband encourage me in this walk, or would he be jealous? Of,

God gave me this season of singleness for a purpose...to help me grow up, but also to grow my character in Him! I realize now that the purpose of my life was not just to “have a romantic marriage” or even to

course, I know if God wills for me to marry, the “right man” will be seeking that for me too. In the meantime, if I never marry, its ok! I have found my True Love, and I couldnʼt ask for more!

“have a partner in service.” (Both

My encouragement to my single sisters... Donʼt let the world distract you. Everyone says, “Why arenʼt you married? Why arenʼt you dating?” Iʼd tell them why, and then they would tell me, “Your standards are just too high. You are too picky!” Sometimes I believed them. I tried a little of the “internet getting acquainted scene.” Yikes!! I felt like I was in the midst of a school of sharks, and of course, everyone was only putting their best foot forward. You didnʼt see them in every day life, and once I did (with one guy that I met on e-harmony) I realized how incompatible we really were!! I know there have been good matches that have resulted from such sites, but I encourage all the single girls I know to stay away from “internet dating.” God knows our hearts, He knows our needs, and He can bring that person into our life at the right place and the right time, even if we are in some remote village in a third world country!! So my philosophy is, if God hasnʼt brought that person along, itʼs not the right time. Keep focusing on growing in Him, and donʼt worry about what others say, or about all the “love-birds” around you!

Our society is sick, and it tends to try to cripple those healthy singles still around, saying you arenʼt complete alone, you have to have a partner, even if itʼs a date! But itʼs a lie! Even if you get married, you arenʼt going to find your complete fulfillment and happiness in your partner. And if you try to, youʼll be disappointed. No one could ever make me happy the way He does!! So we need to get out of this mind-set that we are only “half-whole” and realize that we are complete in Christ! And even if youʼre scared of the dark, like me, with God by your side, you can go to the jungle all alone and face the scary unknown for the sake of Christ. Itʼs incredible!! Also, itʼs not all about having the best body, trying to stay young, and trying to impress the world! Itʼs about living completely and only for your King! Of course, the devil tries in a thousand ways to distract us from this goal, “friends, careers, security, fear, fashion, things, entertainment, even natural dreams of building a home and nest....” But if it keeps us from the Bible and from time on our knees, we are doomed to a life of discontented singleness! But if we can break past these obstacles, the sky is the limit for possibilities! *

take it deeper

Answering the Guy Questions

Order Now!! Answering the Guy Questions is a powerful book that tackles some of the toughest relationship questions I get asked by young women. If you have ever been discouraged, disgusted, depressed, or even defeated by the state of modern guys, this book can infuse you with vision, hope, and a practical means of doing something about it!

This book

shows young women the significant role they plan in helping guys discover true manhood as God intended it to be, in all of its glory, strength, nobility and honor.

This book is

extremely practical - tackling key areas such as guy/girl friendships, physical and emotional boundaries, modesty, flirting, and laying the foundation for a God-scripted love story.

A great book for small group discussions - appropriate for younger teens yet

relevant for college age and older.

There’s this Guy... Responding to the Distraction of Attraction by Leslie Ludy Over the past fifteen years, Iʼve had the privilege of counseling hundreds of young women in the area of romance and relationships. And I cannot even count the number of young women who have come to me with scenarios that begin with the words, “So, thereʼs this guy…” # There is nothing more potentially distracting to a young womanʼs spiritual and emotional life than meeting a guy sheʼs attracted to. You may have been thriving in your relationship with Christ, fully satisfied in pouring your life out for others and then you meet an amazing godly man and wham! Suddenly, all your thoughts, attention, and focus becomes centered around one thing – that guy. # Being attracted to a guy isnʼt wrong in itself; itʼs a natural part of the way that God made us. But if we donʼt handle attraction correctly, it can also become one of the most

dangerous stumbling blocks to our spiritual walk. If you allow attraction toward a guy to overtake your thoughts and emotions, it can easily become an idol in your life that is taking your focus off Christ. Attraction can quickly morph into an unhealthy emotional obsession with someone – clouding your relationship with your King and dishonoring your relationship with your future husband. But if you handle attraction right from the beginning, it doesnʼt need to become a stumbling block to your inner purity and setapartness for Christ. Here are some practical suggestions for dealing with feelings of attraction toward “that guy”…

1. Give it to God. The best thing you can do when you feel attracted to a guy is to immediately give your feelings to God: Lord, thank you for the qualities I see in this guy. Please take my emotions and guard them. Enable me to keep my heart protected for my future husband. If it is Your desire that I enter a relationship with this guy, then I leave the details in Your hands. May I not manipulate or grow impatient, but allow You to remain in complete control. You will be faithful. You care more about this area of my life than even I do. The guy you are attracted to might

seem like the only Warrior-Poet in existence, and you might not be able to imagine living life without him. But the reality is that if he is not the one God wants you to marry, then the guy He has chosen for you will fit your life even more perfectly, and what you esteem in him will be even more than what you see in this guy. Donʼt allow your emotions to lead the way – take a step back and surrender them afresh to your loving Father. When your heart is fully yielded to Christ, you will be far more able to discern between His voice and the voice of your own desires.

2. Guard your thought life. Many young women struggle with keeping their thoughts upon Christ – especially when there is a guy in their life that they are attracted to. When you see an attractive and Christ-like guy, itʼs tempting to let your mind continually dwell upon him and get carried away with imaginations, desires, and fantasies about him. # Even a Christ-built Warrior-Poet can claim an unhealthy hold upon your thought-life if you are not guarded and purposeful about “taking every thought captive.” Itʼs not wrong to notice or think about a guyʼs good qualities – but to continually dwell upon him day and night is not Godʼs best for your mind, heart or emotions. Ask God to enable you to keep your thoughts upon Jesus Christ – not upon a guy. If you continually struggle with an

“onslaught” of distracting thoughts about a guy, you can take some proactive steps to shift the pattern. First, the moment the thoughts come in – immediately start praying. Yes, you can briefly pray for the guy you are thinking about – but itʼs better to pray for someone else so that your prayers donʼt become another catalyst for obsessive thoughts. Pick someone in your life that needs the love of Christ, and aggressively pray for that personʼs soul. Whenever the enemy tries to distract you, you can “hit back” by praying intensely for an unsaved person. Itʼs one of the best strategies against spiritual attack – the enemy will back off when he realizes that it only turns you into a prayer warrior for the Kingdom of God. #

Memorizing and meditating upon Scripture is another excellent way to center your thoughts upon Jesus Christ. Remember – Christ is the “Word of God made flesh” – so when you dwell upon Scripture, you are dwelling upon Him. At first, it might feel mechanical to memorize verses and recite them in your mind to ward-off distracting thoughts about a guy. However, you will find that after you get into the habit of doing it, it becomes life-giving and refreshing. When Truth is in the forefront of your mind, you are far less likely to allow your emotions to carry you away into a path of error.

3. differently Don’t act around him. When you are attracted to a guy, itʼs easy to allow your emotions to change the way you act around him. Whether you go out of your way to be around him, ignore other people in order to talk to him, or change your behavior to get him to notice you – attraction can quickly morph into manipulation. Rather than trusting God to open up a relationship if and when He desires, you might feel an urgent need to take the situation in our own hands and “make something happen.” A great promise to remember during times like this is Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Your faithful King knows every longing, dream

and desire within your heart. If you leave the pen in His hands, He will be more than faithful to script the story in His own perfect way – not only meeting the desires of your heart, but going exceedingly, abundantly beyond all you could ask or think. Taking matters into your own hands will only diminish the beautiful work of God in your life. Ask Him for the grace to remain trusting and yielded – no matter how strong your feelings toward a guy might be. Let the Spirit of God guide your actions and convict you of any change in behavior that youʼve allowed in because of your own impatience or fear that you might “miss your chance.” He will be more than

faithful, if you simply give Him the chance to be who He says He is. As David the Psalmist declares: “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints; there is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the

Lord shall not lack any good thing.” (Psalm 34:8-10) These are not just poetic words – they are the very words of God to you, His precious daughter. Ask Him for the grace to trust Him with all your heart, especially in this area of your life, and you will not be disappointed. He is faithful!

4. Make Christ your First Love. So many of us, though we claim to know Jesus Christ, are still longing for our deepest desires to be fulfilled by someone else. We frantically seek the man of our dreams, giving ourselves completely to one relationship after the next, hoping that when we finally find the right guy our romantic fantasies will become reality. “Jesus Christ is your true Prince,” I often say to young women, “the One who gave His very life just to be with you, the One who can rescue you from the dungeon you are in, the one who can transform you into a radiant princess, the One who can carry you away to His beautiful land to cherish you forever. He is the only one who can meet your deepest longings; He is the only One worthy of your entire heart, life, soul, and body—all you are and all you have. Jesus Christ is the Prince you should passionately pursue with all your heart.”

“Yeah, sure, okay, whatever,” is the typical response, followed by, “but thereʼs this guy I met...” Many of us donʼt ever realize that Jesus Christ is not a flimsy flannel board figure from a Sunday school lesson; that He is not a stern dictator looking down on us from heaven to make sure we obey His rules; that He is not a distant being who is too busy running the world to care about the details of our day-today lives; and that He is so much more than someone we say we believe in to keep ourselves out of hell when we die. He is the Lover of our soul. Our true Prince. The One we have been longing for, searching for, and dreaming of since childhood. The One who will love us the way no one else can love us; the One who will cherish us forever; the One who will transform

set apart relationships us from a hopeless girl in rags into a beautiful, confident, radiant princess. He is the One who makes us ready for true, lasting, human love. And He is the One who meets our deepest needs when human love falls short. No matter how attracted you may feel toward someone, remember that he could never compare to your true Bridegroom; the lover of your soul. Find your satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone, no matter how great or

godly a man He brings into your life. Psalm 107:9 says, “He satisfies the longing soul.” If you are finding your deepest fulfillment in Him alone, all your needs, wants, dreams and desires will be fully met – no matter what happens with “this guy.” This guy is nothing compared to your true Prince. There is no greater lover than the king of all Kings! And He will be more than faithful to fulfill His loving purposes for your life, if you put Him first.*

Q&A with leslie

Q: A:

How do I protect my heart for my future husband without being rude to the guys in my life?

There is a big difference between a young woman who is careful

and guarded in her femininity because she is afraid of doing something wrong, and a young woman who guards her femininity out of love for Jesus Christ and honor for her future husband. Itʼs similar to the distinction between the woman who hides behind dull, drab, shapeless clothing in order to prove how “godly and modest” she is, and the woman who dresses with selfless, dignified elegance because she wants to bring glory to Jesus Christ. One is born out of humanly contrived self-effort. The other is born out of a passionate relationship with our Lord. Hiding in a corner and refusing to look men in the eye or ever have a conversation with them is not truly protecting the sacred. Acting aloof and arrogant toward the opposite sex in the name of trying to “guard our heart” is not true feminine mystique. But neither is being haphazard and flippant with our heart and emotions, casually sharing

our most vulnerable thoughts and intimate secrets with any Joe Blow that invites us out to coffee. A woman of honor is confident, friendly, outward focused and does not draw attention to herself, either by extreme shyness or by extreme forwardness. She is willing and able to talk to guys, encourage guys, and build them up as brothers in Christ. She is confident and poised, looks them in the eye, she excels in the art of Christ-honoring conversation with them. And yet, she does not quickly open up her heart to them. She is able to be a close sister and encourager without throwing the sacred core of her femininity to the wind. Our Creative Director, Annie, is a great example of feminine mystique. She has a radiant smile and ready friendliness to all she comes in contact with, including guys. She is friendly and confident when she converses with the opposite sex, and yet if she ever senses that she is becoming the object of unhealthy male attention, she is quick to discreetly back away. When guy friends have pressured her to share more of her intimate thoughts than she is comfortable with, she has told them nicely but firmly that she doesnʼt feel comfortable opening up on that level. She doesnʼt act rude or stiff in response to inappropriate male behavior – sheʼs just forthright and honest with them about her standards. Annie is a confident, radiant, beautiful and guarded woman – and part of what makes her so lovely is her careful protection over what is most sacred in her life. But you would never think of her as rude toward the opposite sex. Ask God to show you the perfect balance of guardedness and friendliness as you interact with the guys in your life. If you yield your heart, mind, and body completely to Him, He will be faithful to guide and direct your steps. Remember – He cares more about this area of your life than even you do. May you guard your heart with the strength and wisdom that He provides! As His Word says, “Faithful is He who calls you who also will do it.” What an amazing promise! (1 Th 5:24)

a guy shares his thoughts

Poet

Warrior Manhood

By Eric Ludy

set apart relationships

How you can inspire Godly masculinity It seems to me that nearly every young

It would be misleading to say to you, a

woman with a pulse today is probably wondering if Warrior Poet men really exist,

young woman, that men don’t naturally have a weakness in the area of lust, pride

or even can exist. Are William Wallace types to be expected once every seven-

and self-serving attitudes. But sadly this “weakness” has become an “expectation.”

hundred-years like one of those quixotic solar eclipses, or is it possible that the

A young child may have a natural inclination to steal cookies from the cookie

recipe for “majestic man-ness” could make a come-back in this generation?

jar, but a good parent doesn’t say, “kids will be kids” and not correct the child and

Unfortunately, most girls today believe in

expect right behavior out of them from that day forward.

Warrior Poets as much as they believe Santa Claus can touch his tongue to his

Men need someone to believe in them.

belly button. It seems most young women I encounter are more likely to believe in

They need someone to tell them that they can rise above this horrendous mediocrity.

the “one-extraordinary-man-every-sevenhundred-years” theory.

They desperately need someone to tell them that they can have a lot more than

Young men in my generation have been

“one-thing” on their minds. And they need someone to raise the expectations of their

shaped by a pattern of manhood that is warped and perverted. It’s no wonder that

manhood. Believe it or not, we as men need you, as young women, to help us

men today are so often referred to as jerks – the foundation of their manly behavior is

find our way out of this spiritual gutter of cultural “normalcy.”

self-serving and self-gratifying. Being a man, I’m very well acquainted with the perversion process. It’s very insipid and subtle. You see, we as young men desire to be “normal.” Whatever our culture defines as “normal” behavior can very quickly then become our manly pursuit.

“The words of my princess make me a prince.”

Her

practical ways you can start today:

expectations

Practice making princes out of the men

are my

in your life. Start with your dad and brother(s). If you can learn

inspirations.

how to be a prince-maker in your relationship with them, you will be off-the-

In my years of marriage to Leslie, I’ve

charts amazing in your potential future relationship with your groom. Go out of

found that I’m inspired in my pursuit of manhood more by her than any other force in my life, save the work of the Spirit of God within me. I don’t think I would be stretching it to say that Leslie’s vision of manhood for me is as important as my vision of manhood for myself. I often like to say, “The words of my princess make me a prince.” It is because Leslie has vision for me to be more than a burping and scratching male with only “one-thing” on my mind, that she enables me to become so much more. She has a vision to see me built into a world-changer, a man among males, a picture of her Heavenly Bridegroom, her Prince and Lover - Jesus Christ. She believes in what manhood can be, she honors the way I’m uniquely crafted, she understands masculinity through God’s perspective, and she expects me to pursue nothing short of “total and complete man-ness.” Her expectations are my inspirations. You can have the same kind of impact on the men in your life, whether you are married or single.

Here are some

your way to make mention that you notice the things that they have done well (i.e. mowed the lawn, barbecued some burgers, painted the kitchen, or swished a free-throw), or the times you see them modeling a picture of manhood that you respect (being helpful, being courageous, being sensitive, or even being humble.) It’s the words of our princesses that make us princes. We need to hear from you. Challenge men to a higher standard.

2. life.

When opportunity arises, verbally proclaim a higher level of expectancy out of the men in your Here are a few samples of what it

could look like:

a. If they burp or do anything else in the “gross” family, say very sweetly something like, “I’ve heard that burping is considered very attractive to the bearded one-eyed yak-worshipping women of Hanalei, but unfortunately most other girls don’t find it very charming!”

set apart relationships b. If they hesitate to help someone in need, comment (again very sweetly) something akin to, “This job demands a man with great strength and massive biceps,” then look his way and, with a tilt of your head and adding a sighing lilt to your voice, say, “Ahhh, here is the man of bulging bicep that will surely save the day!”

c. If they refer to womanhood in a derogatory fashion, be quick to gently add, “I’ve heard that the men who speak highly of femininity are the ones that end up with the most beautiful wives.”

d. If they attempt to pressure you to sacrifice your sacred innocence, quickly leave them in the dust, and in your parting say something like, “You have the potential to be a great man. And when you are, you will be a protector rather than a conqueror of a woman’s innocence.” Over time, as you gain even more of a vision for what a young man can become, you’ll develop your own little ways to draw “majestic man-ness” out of the males in your life.

Ponder the manhood of Christ. In the Bible, read both the book of

Song of Solomon and the book of Revelation. Reading those two books together, with the sole intention of seeing a picture of what Christ-like manhood looks like, is super-impacting. Song of Solomon gives a picture of Christ as a poet, a gentle encourager, and a servantlover. Job 29 offers an incredible picture of the warrior and poet side of manhood combined into one powerful, world-altering package. Revelation provides a picture of Christ as a conqueror, a hero, a Warrior of warriors, and a King of kings. As a young woman, acquaint yourself with the ultimate

Warrior-Poet, Jesus Christ, and then you

quality of its masculinity is the quality of its

will know better what manhood is supposed to look like.

femininity. As femininity sours in a culture, so are men soured. The great tragedy of

Become a student of manhood.

the feminist movement is that it is has pigeonholed masculinity and has locked it

If you make the study of manhood a lifetime research project, you will in the

in a “perverted” cellar making it nearly impossible to escape and transform itself.

process become an amazing young woman. Start up a journal for yourself,

I know it’s tempting at times to complain about the absence of “extraordinary” men

entitled something original like, “My Study of Manhood.” In it, write all your thoughts,

today, but my solemn plea to you is to stop complaining and instead start

observations, and discoveries about manhood. Ask God to begin to teach you

working to help shape us men for tomorrow. Maybe you should consider

how to appreciate manhood and see it the way He does. A woman that appreciates

making it one of your goals, as a young woman, that 150 years from now,

manhood is an instrument God will use to shape manhood. I (Eric) keep a journal

“extraordinary” Christ-like man-ness will be a far more common thing thanks to the

about womanhood. I know that sounds strange, but its true. I began doing it over

self-sacrifice of your life.

a year ago so that I could better serve Leslie and draw her out as a woman. In

As men, we would be eternally grateful. *

the process I have gained incredible insight into God’s heart for womanhood, which makes me want to cheer you (a young woman) on to discover all that God has for you. This is one of the most practical things you could possibly do to prepare yourself for a potential marriage someday, and even to deepen it if you are married. Manhood in every culture is shaped by a variety of forces. But in every culture, one of the dominant forces that determine the

A woman that appreciates manhood is an instrument God will use to shape womanhood

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God’s Gift to Women Order Now!! ERIC SAYS... I’m not a guy thats all hyped up for grunting and giving off foul odors, I’m a guy that is passionate about men being true men. And Im convinced that true manhood, polished by the hand of God, is nothing short of an awe-inspiring gift to womanhood. Contrary to the vibe that a title like Gods Gift to Women gives off, this book is not merely about how men can more effectively relate to women. I believe that we as men can never hope to become a gift to women until we gain a complete vision of Christ-built manhood. We live in a generation of burpin’ and scratchin’ male mediocrity. Most of our modern-day examples of manhood are self-serving, perverted, and depraved. We are taking this second-rate version of masculinity into our marriages, our families and our lives as men. I believe we need a new standard for masculinity a standard that is not shaped by our culture, but by the very person of Jesus Christ. That standard is the core of this books message. If you were hoping for a book about relating to women, don’t worry; there is plenty of that subject covered in the upcoming pages. But for us to learn to effectively relate to women, we must first learn to effectively relate to the Creator of women Jesus Christ. We must learn the world-altering secrets of Christ-built, warrior-poet manhood. If you are a guy interested in discovering amazing, culture-shaping masculinity don’t miss this book! And if you are a girl interested in motivating the guys in your life toward something better don’t miss this book! copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

in the secret place by Leslie Ludy

3 ways to super-charge your prayer life.

set apart walk Last year I read the autobiography of Hudson Taylor – the heroic missionary to China whom our son is named after. At the age of 17, Hudson was living a mediocre Christian life and continually being pulled toward sin. He could feel the call of God upon his soul, but he seemed unable to respond the way he desired to. Many nights were spent in despair, wondering if he would ever find real victory. Finally, he decided to pray. He went into his room, locked his door, fell upon his knees, and cried out to God from the depths of his being. And the King of the universe heard him. He answered in a more powerful way than Hudson could ever have imagined. A few days later he wrote these words to his sister: Bless the Lord, O my soul! And all that is within me shout His praise! Glory to God, my dear Amelia. Christ has said, ʻseek and ye shall find,ʼ and praise His name, He has revealed Himself to me in an overflowing manner. He has cleansed me from all sin, from all my idols. He has given me a new heart. Glory, glory, glory to His ever blessed Name! I cannot write for joy. (Hudson Taylor, the Early Years by Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor, pg 79) The freedom and triumph that God gave Hudson Taylor was not just a fleeting “mountaintop experience”. Rather, he was completely and radically set free – never to look back. The rest of Hudsonʼs life was a glorious display of a supernaturally enabled existence. He sailed to a godless, hostile land, led countless thousands into the kingdom of God, and became the sole

inspiration for an entire generation of Christians to “go into all the world and make disciples of all nations.” Though he lived 200 years ago, his legacy is still cherished and his example still followed by millions. Stories like Hudsonʼs are extremely unusual in todayʼs world. Most modern Christians I have talked to have the opposite experience when it comes to seeking God. Instead of radically answered prayer, they get only silence from Heaven. Instead of victory and triumph in their daily life – they get only defeat and discouragement. And instead of a supernaturally enabled life that inspires millions, they struggle to even inspire their own friends and family members. But once upon a time, the Christian life meant something different than a blasé daily struggle. In the “olden days,” stories like Hudson Taylorʼs werenʼt quite so rare. Following Christ actually meant exceeding joy, peace that passes all understanding, and power to trounce upon our enemies. How does such victory happen? Through powerful, persistent praying. Not just mumbling a few half-hearted requests toward Heaven and giving up if we donʼt receive an answer, but crying out to God from the depths of our soul – meeting Him in the secret place and not letting go until the breakthrough comes. Such prayer takes an intense level of commitment, focus and energy that our flesh resists. But if we are willing to press through all of the mental and physical protests and meet God in the secret place of persistent prayer, everything changes. Soon prayer

becomes life and breath to us – and we canʼt imagine how we ever survived without it. Over the past five years, Eric and I have learned far more about prayer than we ever would have thought possible – and we know weʼve only just begun. I would like to share three practical things that have completely transformed our prayer life. I believe that if you begin to put these things into practice – you will see power and victory in your life like never before.

Pray boldly and specifically

God asks us to have the kind of faith that asks boldly for specific things. Instead of vague, general prayers that donʼt demand faith, we must begin “putting it all on the line” and take the risk of laying our precise needs before our King. Charles Spurgeon said, There is a general kind of praying which fails for lack of precision. It is as if a regiment of soldiers should all fire off their guns anywhere. Possibly somebody would be killed, but the majority of the enemy would be missed. Many of us are afraid to ask specific things of God, worrying that we will become disillusioned and shaken in our faith if He fails to answer. But if we are abiding in Him, living according to His Word, and yielded to His spirit, we can be confident that the burdens He places upon our hearts are His desires – and He delights to give good gifts to His children! Jesus answered and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and

do not doubt…if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive. (Matthew 21:21) Jesus said to him, “…all things are possible to him who believes.” (Mark 9:23)

Pray without ceasing.

Paul exhorts us in 1 Th 5:17 to pray without ceasing. Most Christians refuse to take that statement literally, saying, “Well, obviously, he didnʼt really mean that we need to pray twenty-four hours a day! How unrealistic!” # But all through Scripture, God bestows great honor upon those who seek Him day and night. At the time of Christʼs birth, there was a woman named Anna who lived in the temple. She “did not depart from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.” (Luke 2:37) When Mary and Joseph brought Christ to the temple as a baby, she instantly knew He was the Son of God, and spoke of Him to all who awaited the redemption of Israel. # Did Anna have a “special call” upon her life for prayer? Or is that kind of continual, fervent prayer the call of every set-apart woman of God? The New Testament describes the characteristics of a “virtuous widow” who is qualified to receive help from believers. This womanʼs description seems to parallel the miraculous, poured-out life portrayed by the Proverbs 31 woman. She does not live for her own pleasure, but is well reported for good works, bringing up children, lodging strangers, washing the saintsʼ feet,

set apart walk relieving the afflicted, and diligently following every good work. How does she accomplish all of this? “She trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.” (I Tim 5-6, 10) She lives a supernatural existence, accomplishing incredible things without stress and exhaustion, because she makes prayer the foundation of her life. When our spiritual life is thriving, when prayer is the foundation of our existence – every other area of our life begins to thrive as a result. Not only will we have victory in our personal life, we will be strong in order to pour out on behalf of others, like the virtuous women in 1 Timothy 5 and in Proverbs 31. In Matthew 6:25, Christ says that when we seek first His kingdom and His righteous, all the things we need will be supernaturally added to us. # When God first challenged Eric and I to fight for spiritual fortification, we realized that we needed to make fervent prayer the highest priority of our day. We had always made prayer a part of our life, but now we felt challenged to make our life all about prayer. We began to pray intensely for two or three hours every morning, and at least an hour in the evening. Some nights, we wrestled in prayer for five, six, or even seven hours until three or four in the morning. And many weeks we devoted an entire day out of the week to fasting and importunate prayer. We prayed while we were driving down the road. We prayed while we were getting ready in the morning. We prayed when our kids woke up crying in the middle of the night. We prayed when we were making dinner. We

prayed when we were taking walks or riding our bikes. We prayed as we were drifting off to sleep at night. We prayed before we even got out of bed in the morning. We prayed while we were writing our books. We prayed with everyone who came into our home. We visited friends and neighbors in need and prayed for them. We met together with our church community and prayed regularly. More and more, we began to learn what it means to “pray without ceasing.” And we began to experience the “miracle life” God had called us to.

Pray with an undivided heart

Hollywood and pop-culture glorifies violence, perversion and evil. It glamorizes sin and debauchery. It splashes sin across a huge silver screen as an entire culture eagerly drinks in its twisted messages. And yet most of us participate in these things without even a second thought, giving our time, money and focus to an industry that is the opposite of all that we believe. Sure, some of us are careful about the kind of movies we watched. But even the “milder” ones, for the most part, glorify sin and selfishness. In fact, there are only a handful of media productions (movies, magazines, t.v. shows etc) that truly bring honor to the name of Jesus Christ. Psalm 1 says: Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. (vs. 1-2 NKJV)

By clamoring after the world始s entertainment and imbibing the images of Hollywood, we are walking in the counsel of the ungodly. By plopping down in a movie theater every week, we are literally sitting in the seat of the scornful (and watching the very same garbage as the rest of the world). By filling our minds and hearts with movies and T.V., we are not delighting in the law of the Lord and meditating upon it day and night. Rather, we are meditating on the sights, sounds, and messages of pop-culture day and night. Too often we look to entertainment to bring the rest, refreshment, and pleasure that was supposed to be found in our relationship with Christ. And then we try to pray or meditate upon God始s word, but our minds are distracted by scenes from a movie or T.V. show and we have to labor to think upon Heavenly things. If we want to pray prayers that move Heaven, we must seek our King with an undivided heart. We cannot love the world and love Him at the same time. Scripture says that if we are caught up in the world始s

enticements, we make ourselves the enemies of God. (James 4:4) It may seem daunting to walk away from the attractions of pop-culture. But when you seek your King with an undivided heart, you will discover that in His presence is the fullness of joy, and in His right hand are pleasures forevermore! (Psalm 16:11) A powerful prayer life is yours for the taking. Your King is waiting to meet you in the secret place. And all the issues and fears and struggles you are facing right now will be solved when He becomes your all in all and prayer becomes the centerpiece of your existence.

He who runs from God in the morning will scarcely find Him the rest of the day.

- John Bunyan

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Wrestling

Prayer

Wrestling Prayer is filled with practical ways to help you build a stronger prayer life. A lot of us feel defeated in our spiritual life. Many of us have tried praying without success, and our expectations of God diminished as a result. For much of my Christian journey, this was how I felt in my prayer life - frustrated and discouraged. But over the past few years, I’ve learned some important things about prayer that have revolutionized my spiritual walk.

Prayer can’t be baked down into a step-by-step recipe or cookie-cutter

formula. But there are some Biblical principles that, when applied to your personal prayer life, can revolutionize your experience with a God who hears and answers prayer. If you are feeling lackluster in your prayer life, don’t miss this challenging and inspiring book!

a passionate communion with God 43

!e Single-Hea"ed

I heard Him say, “Be single-hearted, My Bride. The applause and shame of men despise. Care not at all what they think and say, Place thy eyes on Me: I will not delay. Break at My Feet alone thy spikenard jar, I want thy heart from Me not afar. Incline to Me thy intimate thoughts;

Embrace the Narrow Road that is rough − For My Love is far better than wine; For thou art Mine, and I am thine. Run to Me despite what thy enemies tell, I have crushed them under My feet; they all fell. My Blood will cover thee in and out of need, It will empower thee for multitudes to feed.

Examine My Word to find Me alone, Each new day let Me rule in thy heart’s throne. Be not afraid, I uphold thee in My Right Hand; I am the One who will make thee stand. My Grace, Love, and Peace have already sufficed;

I am thy Lover, thy Lord; I am thy Christ. Deny thy interests, give Me thy life; I long to make thee a gracious Wife.” 44

Virgins

by Thaysse Costa

The Single-Hearted Virgins were bought with a price;

Their affection and interest are for the Risen Christ. With undivided heart they delight in His Name;

To be His and His alone they are not ashamed. In Adullam’s Cave they have joined their King; In being hunted and despised for His sake they rejoice and sing. There they are made ready for the fight, Being freshly anointed with the Captain’s Might. In pain and purging they cleave to the Spirit’s Sword; In the Lord’s strength and grace they march forward. The Lamb’s righteousness is their cloak, And only in the Cross they dare to boast.

They become Mary sitting at Jesus’ Feet, And following only where the Spirit leads. With effectual fervent prayers they intercede; Building up broken walls, standing for the least. They do not indulge under a chapel’s bell, But spend themselves within an yard from hell. In the bedrock of unchangeable Truth they stand Immovable and shielded by the Almighty Hand. And this is the Single-Hearted Virgins’ cry:

“Give the Glory due to the Triune God on high!”

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Set Apart Devotionals

Week One & Week Two available now online!

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MY ALL IN ALL

WEEK ONE

David the Psalmist had plenty of female companionship in his life. But it is David’s intimate relationship with God that brings him the perfect satisfaction portrayed throughout the Psalms. Psalm 73:35 says, Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. Psalm 16:11 says, In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 107:9 says, For He satisfies the longing soul.

The entire Bible is a love story – a romance between Jesus Christ and His Bride. God is a God of romance. How tempting it is to look to early romance to fulfill the deepest longings and desires of our hearts. But He desires to be our all in all. Our earthly marriages are meant to showcase the ultimate marriage that we will one day share with Him. And even if we never experience earthly marriage, we can be completely fulfilled by an intimate romance with our Beloved Prince, Jesus Christ, the Lover of our soul. He and He alone is the One that fills all in all. All throughout the Bible, Jesus Christ is shown as the perfect fulfillment of our heart; the sweetest satisfaction for the human soul. Here is a quick look at all that He is meant to be in our lives… My Portion, My Maker, My Husband (Isaiah 54:5), My Well-beloved (Song of Solomon 1:13), My Savior (2 Peter 3:18), My Hope (1 Timothy 1:1), My Brother (Mark 3:35)...

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REACHING ORPHANS & vulnerable children

Practical Ways You

Can Help

HIS LITTLE FEET...Be in on it! The Ellerslie campus is bursting with excitement this month, as Mike and Christa Hahn, directors of His Little Feet, prepare to bring between 16 and 20 Haitian children to the States for discipleship, training and a childrenʼs choir that will tour the country. These children will become a voice for the 148 million orphans around the world. We encourage you to visit the HLF website today and offer your support today! If you are interested in bringing the HLF childrenʼs choir to your community, please check out the “booking” page on their website for more information. www.hislittlefeet.org

Sponsoring a Child…Change a life forever! Ellerslie is excited to be working with Compassion Internationalʼs Leadership Development Program; an initiative that provides education and specialized leadership training to hand-picked, high-potential Compassionsponsored young people in 19 countries around the world. Select graduates from the LDP program are coming to Ellerslie to be equipped to make a culture-changing impact within their own countries by utilizing the Biblical training and Gospel-centered leadership principles they learn while attending Ellerslie. Our first Compassion LDP graduate from Haiti just completed her inaugural semester at Ellerslie this past summer, and we are expectant that many more will follow. As we have gotten to know this LDP student, Estherline, we have become even more impressed with how dramatically a childʼs life can be impacted through sponsorship. As a child in Haiti, she was in a desperate situation, and through a Compassion sponsorship God provided for her needs. Now she is a beautiful, radiant, Christ-focused young woman who is changing the world. What a privilege to invest into her life! I encourage you to consider investing into the life of a future Estherline through Compassion or Danitaʼs Children.

Sacrificial Love. by Melodious Echo

The doctors and nurses were friendly,

It was a hot muggy day in central Kenya

and the hospital, a little over 75 years old, was one of the best buildings in the

as my friends and I walked down the path to the little hospital where we were

area. But conditions were poor and supplies meager. The sick and hurting

hoping to do some volunteer work, or at least get to watch a few procedures.

sprawled out on the concrete floor or benches as they waited for attention. A

Actually, we had not come to Kenya to do health work, but to do evangelism,

nurse showed us through the facility and the sick wards. Up to 20 patients shared

and our team of ten was in the midst of holding six different evangelistic

a single room...some coughing up blood, some seemingly comatose, and others

crusades at the same time. Several thousand people were in attendance at

moaning in pain as they waited for a nurse to bring medicine. And yet, this

our nightly meetings, and we were enthusiastic and excited about the

was the best facility they had – one of the best outside of Nairobi. It was a stark

opportunity to share Christ with eager listeners. However, with a limited amount

contrast to the clean white washed hospital halls and quiet private rooms

of time in Kenya, we wanted to make sure we could see and experience as

that I was used to working in as a nurse back home in the US.

much of cultural life as possible, so those of us that were medically minded thought that the local hospital (the only one for many miles around) seemed a good place to start.

As we visited the laboratory and were talking with the staff, a messenger rushed in and said they needed blood. They needed to do an emergency

set apart walk surgery on a woman that had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and would need blood to do it. The staff looked in the r e f r i g e r a t o r, w h i c h w a s b e i n g run on generator power, where they kept the blood for transfusions. The type of blood they needed was not in store. "Sorry! The surgery will have to wait. It could take a couple days to get the blood here or find a volunteer." The errand boy sadly turned away. All of us knew that by that time the surgery may be too late. My friends and I looked at each other. Almost immediately we thought the same thing, but it was my friend Sheila

then their eyes fell on me...

that blurted out excitedly, "Can I donate blood for her? How much do you need?" "We would need 3 units!" they replied, hope filling their eyes. "But you're too small to give the whole 3!" Then their eyes fell on me. I squirmed inwardly. I may be a nurse, but needles still bother me, at least when I’m on the receiving end...and I'd never given blood before! I wasn't sure that I wanted to start now...especially in a “unsanitary hospital” in Kenya! Ok, well, maybe they had all newly packaged needles and the process was sanitary...but it was still Kenya. Sheila held out her hand for the blood type prick, to see if she even had the match, while I continued to churn inwardly. I had come to help these people, and I honestly felt love for these people….but to give them my blood? I

hadn't bargained on that.

What did it matter, if I wasn’t willing to live the love that I preached?

Sheila proved to be a positive match and was soon up on the table with tubing in place as blood poured into the collection bag. Within a few minutes, she thought she might be getting a little dizzy, so I ran back to where we were staying to get her some crackers and juice and in the process recruited another member from our team that was willing to donate. But they would still need one more unit. So, with butterflies churning in my stomach and my head spinning (and they hadn't even stuck the needle in me yet!) I resolved that I too, would give a unit of blood. The process was actually rather quick, and didn't hurt as bad as I thought. And everything was quite sanitary. And later as we watched the surgery being successfully performed, I thanked the Lord that He gave me courage to sacrificially give of myself to help this woman need. Later that night after we'd come home from yet another meeting where more people had come forward and given their lives to God, I lay pondering the events of the day. Did it matter that I could preach a sermon? Did it matter that I cared a lot about these people and wanted them to go to the same Heaven that I was going

to? Did it matter that I was reaching out to the children and orphans, or visiting and comforting the lonely and poor? Did it matter that I was giving away Bibles by the box load? Did all of that matter if I wasn't willing to sacrifice a little in the process...if I wasn't willing to really show them I cared, to spend a little of my own blood, even if it hurt? Did it matter if I wasn’t willing to live the love that I preached? The husband of the woman, who we'd given blood to help save, had come up to us that afternoon and thanked us with tears in his eyes. He hardly knew what to say and could not imagine why strangers, foreigners from another country, would give up some of their blood so that his wife could live. It warmed my heart and made the sacrifice even more worth giving! But as I lay in my bed reflecting on it all, the thought entered my mind, “What if he hadn't been grateful for the small sacrifice we made? What if instead, he had spit in our faces and said ‘Get lost! Why don't you go back to wherever you came from! We don't need your gifts here!” Would I have been glad I donated blood then? Would I have wanted to give more? Humanly speaking, I don't think so...yet

set apart walk my heart was humbled and chastised as I thought of a lowly man from Galilee that walked on our earth a couple thousand years ago. He didn't have one tiny needle in His arm, He had spikes through His hands and feet. He didn't give one meager unit of blood and get a little dizzy. He gave all His blood and by so doing, gave up His life! He yielded himself and took the lowest place…the place of the shame and reproach; there was no honor, there was no applause. To the throngs around Him, He was nothing better than a criminal, and yet He willingly surrendered Himself to be so treated…because of you and me. “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our grief’s and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” Isa 53:3-5 Were the people that He came to save thankful?? Were the people who His stripes were meant to heal grateful? No. They spit in His face, they mocked Him and told Him they didn't need His miracles, they beat Him and took Him to one of the world's most cruel and

agonizing deaths! Of course, that was over 2,000 years ago, but how many times today do we again nail our Savior and King to that cross? He came to save us, not just to provide a “better way”…He provided the only way; the only way to freedom and life more abundant, the only way to victory, the only way to the Promised land, the only way to Heaven. Yet again and again, with our indifference, our spiritual pride, and our selfishness, it’s as if we are again putting Him and His sacrifice to shame. “... They crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.” Heb 6:6 And yet, despite all this…despite the times we a thousand times again wound Him or crucify him afresh, despite the ungratefulness we exhibit for this priceless gift. He still did it! And He'd do it again if He had to! Why? Because He wants to save you and me! "Lord," I prayed that night, "forgive me for being so hesitant to share a little of my blood. If You had not been willing to give all your blood for me, my life would have been lost, and I would not be here today in Kenya trying to show your lost children the way home. Forgive me and help me to have your heart for the lost, help me to be willing to spill my blood, over and over again, even if no one is looking and no one is grateful, even if my gift is mocked! May it be a joy, may I do it as unto YOU!"

“But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom 5:8 "Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold...But with the precious blood of Christ!" 1st Pet 1:18-19 "And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of kings of the earth. Unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood." Rev 1:5

set apart walk

Love. Special Note from the Author: This story took place almost 4 years ago now…yet I have often looked back on this experience and remembered the amazing unselfish love that became even more real to me that day as I caught a glimpse of Christ’s sacrifice. But even after this experience, I have to admit that I still did not grasp the full significance of Christ’s blood and what that means, I mean really means, for us today! It was something I’d grown up hearing about, something I had preached and shared with others, and yet, besides knowing that it saved me from my sins it was just a part of the grand and glorious story. That is…until I came to Ellerslie this summer... Yep, for the past 11 weeks, I’ve been privileged to be part of a group hungering and thirsting for more of God. God tells us, “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it!” and that is exactly what He has done! I can’t say I even yet grasp the complete fullness or the beauty of Christ’s shed blood or the filling that He is just waiting to give…but I have discovered in a whole new and life-transforming way the significance of what His amazing sacrifice was all about. If you long to understand it more clearly too, I encourage you to come be part of the Ellerslie experience yourself. It’s a “Set-Apart Season” I didn’t think I could afford in my schedule, but now I know that it’s a season I couldn’t have afforded to miss. Eric and Leslie didn’t ask me to write this…I just have to share it because it’s been such a powerful summer! Ellerslie will forever change your life AND your perspective on the power of “His amazing blood” as well as so much more! Obviously, I do still have much more to say on this beautiful topic, but we’ll save that for another time. But as you go to bed tonight and say your prayers, don’t forget to thank Jesus for the gift of “His shed blood.”

A Semester at Ellerslie A MESSAGE FROM ERIC & LESLIE: The Ellerslie semester-long intensive training program combines powerful Biblical training with a set apart, spirituallyrich environment, tailor-made for cultivating intimacy with Christ and becoming equipped for world-impacting Christian service. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a life-changing experience designed to super-charge your spiritual walk, ground you in a Gospel worldview, give you an unshakeable passion for Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Word, and prepare you for a lifestyle of Kingdom work. We would count it a privilege to personally invest into your spiritual life through this program!

wi# E$c and Leslie Ludy

2010 Fall: October 11 - December 17

2011 Winter/Spring: February 14 - April 17

2011 Summer: June 13 - August 13

a&ly at:

www.ellerslie.com

there is no emptiness of soul ever for those whose life is devoted to God. - william lawson

I grew up in a small town in Colorado on 2 acres of land. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m the oldest of 8 children. Growing up I was very involved with a wonderful worship dance ministry and started teaching full time after I graduated from high school. I have life-long friendships with kindred-spirited sisters there and I still dance for my King by myself in my room. From a young age I wanted to be a missionary and a midwife. January of 2009 I started studying midwifery, going to home births and have been ever since. I have been on several short term

sister of the common life mission trips and always dreamed of going long term.

* A few of the details have been omitted in order to protect the work and workers involved in Shannon’s unfolding story.

Q: When did you come to Christ and choose to live fully set apart for Him? I first came to know Christ while I was very young. I grew up in a christian home with great parents who love the Lord a ton. I call them Jesus Freaks. They will do anything He asks. The full work the Lord did in me to bring me to a place where I chose a set-apart life is still a mystery to me. It was slow process starting when I was twelve and bring me to a full decision when I was 19. I can not comprehend all He has done in me. It’s too great for my mind to under stand. When I was twelve years old I woke up one morning and thought “I must know now what I will do when I grow up. I must know now.” Finances had always been tight growing up and I was determined to do something that was going to make enough money so that I would never have to worry. For about 2 weeks I obsessed over what I would do “when I grew up”. I couldn’t settle on anything. I lost sleep at night trying to figure it out. A “missionary” crossed my mind once but I thought “ oh no that is too extreme. I’ll share the gospel wherever I work and live, but only radical people go overseas for missions. I need to make money.” Needless to say I did not know my King very well. At the end of these 2 weeks I was sitting in church during worship. It was the first time I was moved from simply singing the words to actually worshiping my King. Then all of a sudden He was there. The story of Esther flashed into my mind and I knew that when the King is there you get on your face. So I did. I wept and thought “My God, my God I never knew how great You were!” Then His voice, gentle and quiet, spoke and said, “ Now that you know how great I AM don’t you want to share Me with those who don’t know?” I said, “yes!” As I laid there on my face the shapes of countries flashed in my mind and I knew that He was calling me overseas. I wanted to go because I now knew He was worthy of my all. The Lord relentlessly pursued me for the next 7 years. He used

everything in my life to show me my deep need for a Savior. He taught me surrender and taught me the importance of giving up my way. I still didn’t like it and didn’t really know if I would be safe giving over my whole life, but He faithfully pursued me until I surrendered more and more of my life. He proved Himself over and over. One night in a prayer meeting, when I was 19 years old, I felt the presence of the Holy One like I had never felt it before. This time I knew. He was asking for my whole life. I could not hold on to that little piece any more. I also knew that this was the turning point. I would not get this chance again. Was I willing to risk it all? Was I ready to let Him have my whole life? I was scared. That little bit I was holding onto was really nasty - surely I would die if I let Him see it. His still, small voice came to me and reminded me that all His wrath was poured out on Jesus. He had none left for me. He loved me and wanted me. I decided “yes” and gave all that I was to Him. I held nothing back and began to learn that He is gentle with His bride, and always trustworthy. Q: What have been your greatest struggles and victories along the way? I have known that ancient battle on the inside, the loud voice that tells you what you want to hear and the still small voice telling you what is right. The victory is when you listen to the small voice and chose to do what’s right. IT IS ALWAYS WORTH IT. Because of the social circles I grew up in and around I struggled with the oppression of legalism. My most difficult times have been when I picked up a teaching of man and tried harder and harder to earn a special place in God’s heart. My greatest victories have been when I turned my ear away from men and back to my King. It is for freedom that He set us free. For many years I thought you set your life apart for God so that He would be “more happy” with you. I learned how false this was. THERE IS NOTHING we can do to earn more love or more favor in the eyes of our King. The blood of the Lamb is enough. Living a Set-Apart life is about giving Him His rightful place in YOUR heart.

Q: In what ways has God challenged you to live a poured-out life serving others? Oh so many ways. It’s funny how people assume that you are very compassionate, when you say you want to be a missionary. I’m not. Compassion has always been I weakness of mine. I’m a missionary because I’m passionate and zealous for my Lord to have His kingdom come, win His bride and get His kids back. He first grew a strong love and passion for Him in my heart, then opened my eyes to how He builds his Kingdom. He builds it through washing His Bride’s feet, showing mercy to those who don’t deserve it, and winning their hearts by giving and living fierce love. Love that fights for the weak and the oppressed. When I stepped out to obey my King in this way, He grew compassion in my heart and I learned to love my neighbor as myself. Q: Tell us about your upcoming trip to Asia – how did God put it on your heart to go? This story is so great. My King is just so good! First you should know that ever since I was twelve and knew my King was calling me overseas, I have been filled with a passion for the nations. I have longed to go to them. Aside from my longing to know my King, this has been my greatest desire. Last year I wanted to join a missions agency. I pursued it and was about to sign up when the answer I feared came. “NO.” That was a hard one to swallow, but I knew that my King was always trustworthy, and I was reminded that pursuing anything even good things in my own strength was a sure fail. So I prayed, repented and asked God to draw me closer. I knew that to be a missionary I first needed to know Him better. I also knew that He didn’t need a missions school to teach me what I needed to know. So I asked God for my own private missions training and discipleship season, I didn’t know it at the time but this would be the hardest and best year of my life. Everything from deaths in spiritual attacks we have known came against felt challenged to stop reading other peoples even put down my Andrew Murray, and Ludy

the family to the biggest my family and I that fall. I writings about the Lord. I (yes they are some of my

favorites!) books. I didn’t read anything but the Bible for a while because I didn’t want my faith to be built on the word of man. I wanted it to be built on the Word of God and my direct relationship with the King Himself. During that time I felt the Lord whisper, “Go overseas and spend some time with the N family next fall“. The N family were missionary friends of ours, supported by our church. I thought “ok Lord not sure when I will get a break in births but I’m sure you will show me.” Life continued and the Lord deepened my growth in him. I went to a conference in December 2009 and all the Lord had been teaching me came to a point that week. He spoke to me, refreshed me, healed me, but most of all

“follow knows

e H , g n i K e h t best.”

revealed His love like never before to me. I let go of so much that weighed me down that week. I walked out of that conference with the knowledge that His Love is my fortress, and my shield. The enemy had been firing some big bad guns, but he healed me

and showed me a new reality. I was encased in His love. All the damage the enemy could do would be nothing more then a surface wound. Yes it would hurt but it was powerless against the reality that I belong to my King, and He is mine. In June the N family came to speak at our church. They where back on furlough. I told them I felt the Lord put it on my heart to come spend some time with them and that I didn’t know when or for how long. We chatted and found that we both had a heart for serving mom’s and copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

families in pregnancy and childbirth, and that they had been helping moms in crisis pregnancy situations - also something close to my heart. They were very happy and invited me to come that fall, the same time I felt the Lord saying I would go. I felt the Lord say to me that I was not going to know when I was coming back until the time had come. It took me a while to accept that. Could this be true? Am I hearing you right God? A one-way ticket? (I had always had this secret dream to buy a oneway ticket. Only He knew how that thrilled me and only He could fulfill it.) I had waited so long - surely “someday” was not now. Oh but it was. The Lord was very patient with me and continued to show me that He was keeping His promise and that the time was now. September is exactly one year after I would have started with that missions agency the year before. My Kings plans are better. He took me though a training season and an intense discipleship season and now He is taking me on my outreach. An outreach that is better then anything I dared ask for. He brought all the passions and desires He gave me, to help women and bless the nations, together in one. His ways are above our ways. Q: What do you hope to experience on this trip? What are you most nervous about? What are you most excited about? On this trip I hope to see peoples lives encounter the Kingdom of life and be transformed. I want to see heaven’s reality here on earth. I’m really not nervous about anything. I have so much peace and every thing is working out so well I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is all the Kings plan. The temptation has been there to worry but then the King comes through, speaks truth, and gives me peace again. I’m most excited about the women and families I’ll meet and provide support for in pregnancy and child birth. I’m also looking forward to learning from the N family as seasoned missionaries. Q: How can other young women get involved in this kind of ministry? Follow the King, He knows best.

If you want to get involved in ministering to women in pregnancy and child birth. Look in your area for a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Doulaâ&#x20AC;? (means servant) and/or midwifery training. Also there are many missionaries who would love to have a young person come stay with them, learn from them and help them. Ask the Lord for connections to like-minded believers on the field and start building relationships. Q: How can we be praying for this exciting adventure you are entering? Pray that I love my Lord more and more, and for His Kingdom to come in Asia. Pray for favor with the government of the county and for their eyes to be blinded so that the work of God may not be thwarted. Pray that I will be able to learn the language well. *

These are a few of my favorite things...

Smiles gardening herbs seeing life through the eyes of children green grass mountains birds kittens wild flowers picnics sunshine hugs the smell of rain baking inside on a cold day the nations

in every generation,

there are a few...

setapartgirl CONFERENCE 2011

with Leslie Ludy May 27-29, 2011

Ellerslie Campus, Windsor, CO

COST: $199 on-campus option, inc. meals & lodging $99 off-campus option, inc. lunch/dinner on Saturday Limited space available!

! r e t s i g e click to r

the

s t e r c e S Social e of

c a r G

by Leslie Ludy Once upon a time, nearly every young woman was trained in the art of gracious living.

She knew how to exemplify

perfect etiquette in every situation. She knew how to dress and carry herself with dignity.

She knew how to speak

eloquently in conversation.

She knew

how to excel in hospitality, gift-giving, and community service. She knew how to sit up straight and listen intently when someone spoke to her. She knew how to smile and say hello to strangers. She knew how to stay focused on a task without becoming distracted by a thousand other things. copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

set apart style Before we were married, Eric found a very old book on young womenʼs etiquette.

He thought I might find it

interesting, so he got it for me. As I read through it, I was intrigued. I had always thought of the old-fashioned etiquette rules that were pushed upon the women of the past as being restrictive, uptight, and snooty.

But this book made

etiquette actually sound beautiful and refreshing. It was all about how a young woman could let her light shine in this world – how she could use her feminine gifts to bless and serve those around her.

The etiquette guidelines were

certainly far more extensive than anything expected in our modern times, and yet I found myself almost wishing that I could return to a more oldfashioned way of living; a time when people actually treated each other with dignity and respect; a time when young women were refined and gracious in all aspects of their lives. # Today we are so far removed from gracious living that the word etiquette is basically non-existent from our vocabulary – and our lifestyles. Somewhere along the way, as the culture became more cavalier toward sin copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

and selfishness, the idea of being dignified,

result when He is in control is that you

refined, ladylike, gracious and socially

decrease, so that He might increase.

selfless faded into the background.

Now,

donʼt lose your own personality – rather,

young women seem to get far more respect

your personality becomes what it was

if they are loud, boisterous, rebellious,

intended to be; a tool to draw eyes to Jesus

obnoxious and sexually aggressive than if

Christ and not yourself.

they are sweet, polite, graceful, refined,

modest, and thoughtful. A popular bumper

Very few of us understand how to behave

sticker in the college town where we live

socially in a way that truly brings glory to

says: “Well-behaved women rarely make

Jesus Christ and showcases the stunning

history.” The message being propagated is

beauty of our King.#

that in order for a woman to really make any

impact upon this world, she must shake off

I believe itʼs time that we as young women

all those restrictive ideas about being polite

abandon our self-focused attitudes and

or considerate, and become a pushy, in-

return to the good old days when refinement

your-face promoter of her own agenda.

and etiquette were commonplace.

than climbing the popularity ladder or

1 Peter 3:4 exhorts women to cultivate “the

playing manipulative social games, letʼs

incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet

focus on being gracious, sensitive, and

spirit, which is very precious in the sight of

Christ-like to those around us.

God.”

true etiquette, true gracious living, back to

life. We may not be able to go to finishing

Godʼs pattern is the very opposite of the

school or crochet a doily – but those things

“bad girl” image so applauded in our modern

are trivial anyway. What matters to Christ is

times.

a selfless lifestyle.

When Godʼs Spirit is given His rightful place in a young womanʼs life, He transforms her personality to reflect His beauty, His grace, His selflessness. He can overtake any kind of personality; whether you are outgoing or more reserved.

And either way, the end

You

Rather

Letʼs bring

What matters to Christ is a selfless lifestyle.

set apart style For the next several magazine issues, these

performing usually notices the people who

“secrets to social grace” articles will explore

are yawning, dozing, whispering, or texting

practical things we can do to cultivate true

far more than the others who are listening

Christ-like etiquette in our lives, starting

intently.

today.

fourteen years, and can tell you from

I have been a speaker for over

firsthand experience that it is extremely

Social Grace Secret #1: The Art of Being a Good Listener…

distracting, not to mention disconcerting, to glance out at the crowd and see someone sleeping, talking, or in some other way distracted while I am presenting a message. As a speaker your eye is naturally drawn to

This is one of the most common blind spots

the handful of people who are not paying

among young women, who are used to

attention – those who are fidgeting, yawning

multi-tasking twenty things at a time.

or whispering.

You

They might not mean

may be used to emailing, texting, or writing

anything by it, but it still makes the

notes while carrying on a conversation with

statement, “This message is really boring. I

someone, but unless you give that person your undivided attention, you send the message that they are not worthy of your complete focus and what they are saying

You’ll discover the amazing joy of practicing selflessness... isnʼt that important.

This is also true for

public settings, like church sermons, concerts, or seminars.

If you have never

wish I was somewhere else.” I canʼt count

upon her life than anything I might have said

the number of times that Iʼve been on stage

from the stage.#

speaking and have had to intentionally

choose to ignore those few people who were

Even on airplanes, I make an effort to pay

texting, talking, or sleeping – asking God for

attention when the flight attendants do their

the strength to keep delivering my message

required “safety demonstration.”

in spite of the distraction it was causing me.

watched them illustrate how to buckle the

seatbelt “low and tight across your lap” and

Being a speaker and interacting with so

how to put the yellow oxygen mask “over

many thousands of people over the years

your nose and mouth” about a thousand

has caused me to become a lot more

times.

conscious of showing respect when people

again. But I can only imagine how awkward

talk to me. Often after a speaking event, I

it must feel to stand in front of a hundred

have a line of young women waiting to ask

people to present a demonstration when no

me a question.

one is paying attention the slightest bit of

And yet, no matter how

Iʼve

Itʼs not something I need to see

many people are waiting, and no matter how

attention.

Listening to them talk is just a

tired I am, I have learned to tune out all

little way I can show respect.

distractions and give my undivided attention

to each individual person Iʼm talking to.

Take some time to observe your listening

Usually, when I take the time to talk and pray

habits during daily life. Do you show honor

with someone (even though there are loads

and respect to people who speak to you, or

of reasons I should be rushed and

are you constantly multi-tasking or

distracted) it makes more of a lasting impact

daydreaming when others speak?

Like I

mentioned earlier, itʼs often our family members that take the brunt of our self-

Take some time to observe your listening habits during daily life.

focused attitudes.

Because they are so

familiar, we often donʼt treat them as worthy of the same level of respect we give to others. When a family member (or if you are married, your spouse) speaks to you, do you look them in the eye and really focus on what they are saying? Or do you type away

set apart style on your phone or computer and

might feel awkward and even unnecessary

absentmindedly mumble a response?

at first.

easily check my email during this

If your listening skills need a bit of polish,

conversation and it would save time later” or

ask God to make your more sensitive and

“maybe I should text Jenna during this

outward focused.

It might even help to

sermon and see if she wants to meet me

make a list of specific situations in which

after church” But in those moments, ask

youʼd like to become a better listener. Then

yourself how you would want to be treated if

make a concerted effort to change any bad

you were the one speaking.

habits that have formed in the area of your

prayer and diligence to this area of your life,

listening skills. It might take some time and

you will soon find that you are able to excel

practice.

in this area.

If you are like me, youʼll have to

You might be thinking “I could so

If you apply

And you will discover the

purposely ignore your inner craving to multi-

amazing joy of practicing selflessness –

task while people are speaking to you.

even in “little ways” like this one.*

“Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Phil 2:4

CREATING A

Beautiful Haven Turning a Dorm Room Into a Sanctuary by Jade Valcarcel

set apart style I have the great privilege to live here on the Ellerslie campus, which means that I live in one of the dorm rooms. My little room looks

for the sole purpose of making drapes and throw pillows to put a finishing touch on this tiny retreat that I call home.

out on our beautiful lake that is set against a backdrop of the majestic Rocky Mountains. I could not have asked for a more beautiful view, however, walking into one of the rooms here, itʼs as most typical

" Now, my dorm room really is a place that I love to be in, a place where turning on soft worship music, snuggling into my little chair with a cup of tea, my Bible, and journal,

dorm rooms are, a bit bare and dull. Because this little room is my “house” I wanted to make it a place of refuge, a haven Iʼd treasure being in alone with my King. Though I know anyplace with my

cultivates true intimacy with my Lord. It is my beautiful little “prayer closet” where every detail has been thoughtfully placed to create a sanctuary where I can truly commune with my sweet Prince.

sweet Jesus, no matter the environment, would be a place of great joy, there truly is something wonderful about having a space decorated to your taste to retreat to. "

" Now, I know what you may be thinking, “Well, Iʼd love to decorate how I want, but I donʼt have enough money.” Let me assure you, I have nothing in my room that is

Just as if I was decorating a home for my husband, I put much effort and thought into how I wanted my little room to look and feel. The transformation has been incredible! A bunch of little touches here

extravagant and most of the things I have were either given to me or creatively repurposed. Yes, it is very nice to buy that one piece of furniture that you invest in a bit more than others, but I have found it is

and there added beauty, warmth and life to this otherwise boring environment... " A shell here, a bundle of flowers there, maybe a few teacups stacked up just to

not necessary to break the bank in order to decorate beautifully. For instance, my great grandmother made a beautiful quilt that was given to me by my mother. I really wasnʼt sure what I wanted to do with it, I

make things interesting. Now, letʼs throw in some old books whoʼs bindings have become worn and loose with time and a quilt pieced together by the loving hands of my great grandmother. Of course, it canʼt

had it laying across the bottom of my bed, but you couldnʼt see the full pattern and it didnʼt really seem to fit well there. I ended up throwing it aside in frustration. I knew I wanted to do something creative with it, I

be complete until my sweet grandma (known to me as Nama) has come to stay

just wasnʼt sure what.

When my Nama came to make curtains for me, I told her that I needed to buy a bed skirt to hide the ugly box spring that was showing at the bottom of my bed. The next day, I walked in from work to find that she had taken my great grandmother始s (her mother始s) quilt and tucked it into the bottom of my bed frame, letting it drape to barley touch the floor and creating the most beautiful bed skirt I could have asked for!

Then, there始s the well-worn dresser that was given to me by Annie (our Set Apart Girl Creative Director) and was in desperate need of some TLC. A fresh coat of paint, some new hardware, and about $20.00 later, I had a cottage worthy piece of furniture that I love!

The curtains were a bit more expensive, but I wanted to invest in material that I truly loved since they are the first things you see when you walk into my room. Thankfully, the fabric I chose was on sale and with my Nama making them for me, I saved about $100.00 from what I would have paid for them in a store or online. The curtain rod was on sale at Ross for $12.00 and with a couple strands of outdoor lights from target wrapped around the rod and shells (bought at Bed, Bath, & Beyond for $8.00) lining the window sill, I have a unique focal point for the window that also creates a beautiful atmosphere.

The bed is a delightful antique purchased from a resale shop. It dates back to the early 1900s and has been painted and repainted many times. Though blue was the last color it was graciously bestowed, you can see silver, gold, and a lighter blue where the paint has chipped away. This only adds to the charm and personality of the bed and is one of the reasons I love it so much. There is something delightful about owning an antique, wondering where it始s been and who has owned it before. If it could talk, what stories would it tell? Often, I始ve found that it始s so much cheaper to buy an antique or even something used and redo it than to buy something new from a store. Plus, how much more fun it is to let your creativity come out by giving something your own touch, than just bringing it home ready to use! copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

The bed is covered with an array of throw pillows that were made by my Nama as well. They are all different colors and patterns, because thereʼs nothing I dislike more than overly “matchy, matchy” decor. Since I was going for a whimsical cottage feel, I kept all the colors a bit more muted with bright pops of colors here and there.

The bedside table was a cheap little thing I bought way back in college and it matched nothing I owned. However, with a fresh coat of Robinʼs Egg blue, a pop of dark purple and yellow flowers, a teacup for charm, and a stack of books Iʼm currently reading, the little table is holding its own next to my rather dominate bed.

No room of mine would be complete without a large bookshelf. Seeing how Iʼm a voracious reader, my bookshelf is one of my favorite things I own. Itʼs a tall, dark mahogany wood and it really pops against the cream walls. Because my dresser is neutral and the bedside table is a bright color, the dresser brings a bit more stability to the whole decor and doesnʼt let things get too whimsical and out of control. copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

Last but not least is my little corner where a tiny but comfy chair I bought from Goodwill sits. Though it is a bit shabby underneath, a nice chair cover from Target and a couple throw pillows have transformed it from all that it was. Sitting in front of it is my sweet little ottoman, who始s cover was pieced together from all the left over scraps of fabric used to make my pillows and curtains. It is this little corner that claims most of my time. It is my own special little spot created with quiet times with my Jesus in mind. Most of the time, my Bible and journal lay open, ready and waiting for the first hours in my morning and any time I can steal away during my days.

The beauty is about... communing with Him. So, this is my little dorm room, (a.k.a my beautiful little haven) and I love every detail placed in it, though it is still a work in progress. It truly does make a difference to put time and effort into creating a space where you can be alone with your King! # And Remember, if you do not have the option of having your own place, maybe there is an out of the way corner in your home, a bench set off the beaten path, a secret hide away that He has shown you where He invites you to spend time with Him. Wherever it is, the beauty is not about your surroundings, but truly about communing with Him. And when we do that, it will transform our whole world. * copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

The Newest Book from Leslie Ludy take it deeper Order Now!

In today’s sex-obsessed society, pop-culture’s idea of feminine beauty seems to be all about looking like the hottest models, movie stars, or pop-singers. But the end results are often tragic - overwhelming insecurity, eating disorders, and sexual promiscuity. This book presents a whole different vision for feminine loveliness as god intended it to be - the breathtaking radiance of a young woman who has been transformed by Christ from the inside out. This book offers lots of practical advice about how to: *Showcase Christ’s beauty in the way you dress, act, and live *Overcome insecurity and see yourself as God sees you *Become attractive to the right kind of guy *Build your femininity on God’s values instead of the world’s The Lost Art of True Beauty will lead you on a life-changing journey to becoming a woman of feminine grace, inner radiance and timeless appeal!

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kiddo spot 80

HUDSON, age 5 Hudson: “Mommy, can I order some toys online?” Me: “No, Hudson, you can’t buy any toys without Mommy or Daddy.” Hudson: “Well, I mean when I’m 18.” Me: “Sure, but you might not want to play with toys when you’re 18.” Hudson: “Well, I decided I’m going to play with toys until I’m 20.”

HARPER, age 3 Standing on a kitchen chair and declaring, “Mommy, I’m getting real big, see? But I’m not as big as Goliath yet.” Hopefully that day will never come.

KIPLING, age 2

cute stuff the ludy kids are “saying & doing”

He is learning how to “run” and it is hilarious to watch. He tucks his arms like a bird and points his elbows to the sky while he speed-walks around the house, providing hours of comedic entertainment. He is also putting words together. The other day he looked over at me and said “Hi Mommy.” Now that was a heartmelting moment.

AVONLEA, age 1 She is one going on twelve. No caution, and no fear. She thinks she can walk down the basement stairs like any normal person, never mind the fact that she has gone tumbling on her face more than once. At the pool, she dives face-first into the water, comes up gasping, and then goes back for more. Even though she’s the youngest Ludy, she is the loudest, most fearless, and most adventurous. I keep wondering what God has in store for her life! copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

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Leslie

Hannah was a Quaker woman in the later 1800ʼs. She presents many profound, Biblical concepts that have been challenging and strengthening both my faith and my intimacy with Christ. Itʼs not an easy read, but itʼs been an invigorating addition to my morning quiet times. This book covers many of the same themes on faith and spiritual victory that Eric has been preaching on this year, so itʼs great reinforcement!

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Annie

I can never seem to keep this little book on my shelf. The minute I get a copy and read through even a chapter, I find myself setting it into the hands of a friend. Always convicting and deeply encouraging, this book reminds me not only of the full measure of a given life, but what Life has been fully given to me.

THE LION, THE WITCH, & THE WARDROBE by C.S. Lewis

Jade

Read this because if you've never read it, it will literally transport you into another world. A world that clearly shows a picture of salvation through the eyes of a child. If you've read it before in childhood, re-reading it will truly be the key to your understanding why C.S. Lewis said, " Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."

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A couple of months ago, our basement flooded. We had to have our entire floor replaced, which was a huge ordeal, since three of our kids bedrooms and the playroom exist in that part of the house. When one of the service guys came to get the project set up, he noticed our four small (and noisy) children, two of them sitting in high chairs. He told me, “I think this new flooring will work really well for your day-care.” Laughing, I told him that all the kids in our house were our own... CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST. copyright 2010 The Church at Ellerslie, all rights reserved

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But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh... - Romans 13:14

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