2013 Nov/Dec Set Apart Girl ISSUE by Ellerslie

setapartgirl LESLIE LUDY’S

Ruth

MAGAZINE

A WOMAN WHO SURRENDERED EVERYTHING, p. 8

MANAGING MONEY

SET APART TEAM ARTICLE, p 16

THE WEIGHT OF OUR WORDS, p 28

HappilyEverAfter LESLIE’S RELATIONSHIP SERIES, PART FIVE, p. 36

GIVEN PHOTOGRAPHY BEHIND THE CAMERA, p 50

MEET HEATHER

Sister of the Common Life, p. 92

NOV/DEC 2013

FOUNDER’S letter

I’ve been listening to the Proverbs lately on my audio Bible. As I meditate on these truths, it’s becoming more and more clear to me how opposite God’s wisdom is from this world’s wisdom. The world says, “Follow your heart!” but God says, “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool.” (Prov 28:26) The world says, “Sensuality is harmless!” but God says that a seductive woman’s path leads to death. (Prov 7:27) The world says, “Express yourself!” but God says, “Be guarded with what you share.” (Prov 17:28, Prov 29:11) The only way to walk in the wisdom of God is to abide in Him daily, and build our lives around Him. God’s wisdom isn’t what comes naturally to us – we must know Him in order to know and understand His pattern for our lives. Living in today’s world, it’s all too easy to be influenced by the worldly messages of this culture, and begin patterning our lives

after the wisdom of pop-culture rather than the wisdom of Heaven. It’s my hope and prayer that this magazine issue will point you back to Jesus Christ and equip you to tune out the dangerous messages of the world that constantly bait us, and instead build your life around the perfect wisdom of our King! As we reflect upon the astounding gift of Christ our Savior this season, may we truly learn to honor Him in all our ways. He alone is worthy!

Leslie

© 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

setapartgirl PLAYLIST

ANNIE’S PICK:

JUST ONE

by Melissa Helser & Jonathan David Helser

LAUREN’S PICK:

WINTER SNOW

IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR

by Chris Tomlin and Audrey Assad

by Sara Groves

HEATHER’S PICK:

MANDY:

ELSJE’S PICK:

FAITHFUL

SALVATION IS BORN

by Chris Tomlin

by Sovereign Grace Music

GRACE’S PICK:

JESUS, I MY CROSS HAVE TAKEN Indelible Grace

All of these songs can be found on iTunes!

LESLIE’S PICK:

EVERY SEASON by Nicole Nordeman

is a simple and beautiful song that serves as a great reminder to see God’s handiwork in all creation - I love the fresh and unique lyrics!

IN THIS

issue

50 36

8 SET APART FEMININITY

Explore God’s Sacred Intent for Your Life

SET APART RELATIONSHIPS Honoring God in Love and Romance

8 l Ruth, A Woman Who

Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ 16 l Managing Your Money Well The Set Apart Girl® Team Shares Lessons Learned and Practical Tips

28 l The Weight of Our Words

Surrendered Everything

SET APART WALK

36 l Happily Ever After

The Seeds You Are Sowing

Growing Spiritually Together with Your Spouse

SET APART LIFESTYLE

Applying the Gospel to Everday Life

50 l Given Photography Part Three

Behind the Camera: Stories of Grace and Provision

62 l Life as Trees | Warrior-Poet Article

72 28

SET APART FAMILY

Discovering God’s Heart for Home and Family 72 l Tending to Their Souls

Sharing the Gospel with Your Children

86 l The Mind Of Christ in Motherhood

A New Mom Shares Her Journey

2 6 ineveryissue 3

setapartgirl® playlist

Q&A

Leslie’s Kiddo Spot

Sister of the Common Life

100

Devotionals

102

Recommendations

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the New King James Version. © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

“

YOU MAY NEVER KNOW THAT

JESUS IS ALL YOU NEED, UNTIL JESUS IS ALL YOU HAVE. - CORRIE TEN BOOM

ABOUT THE

founder

LESLIE LUDY is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for reaching her generation with the hope of Christ. She and her husband Eric have been writing and speaking together for the past eighteen years. Widely known for their bestselling classic, When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie have become foremost voices on some of the most poignant issues facing the Church today, such as relationships, purity, holiness, and living a fully consecrated life for Christ. Together, they are the authors of eighteen books that have been translated into over a dozen languages around the world. For more about Leslieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s books, click here. Leslie and Eric are the founders and directors of Ellerslie Leadership Training based in Windsor, Colorado â&#x20AC;&#x201C; an intensive discipleship training program that prepares future leaders for worldimpacting Christian service, and draws men and women of all ages from around the world.

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ÂŠ 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart GirlÂŽ.

Ruth

A WOMAN WHO SURRENDERED

EVERYTHING

by LESLIE LUDY

PROBABLY

the biggest example of a woman who pursued a man fear that single women deal with is that for marriage, or at least a woman who was if they don’t take matters into their own clever enough to “help” the process along. hands, they will miss out on the opportunity to be married. Today’s guys are not AT FIRST GLANCE, RUTH’S well-trained in the art of winning, pursuing, and cherishing the heart APPROACH TO BOAZ SEEMS... of a woman. And oftentimes, women feel that they are in a game of “survival of the fittest” in which the available men quickly get claimed by At first glance, Ruth’s approach to Boaz the most aggressive women, while the seems fairly proactive, even aggressive. ones who guard their feminine mystery She even lays down near him in the and focus on Christ alone get passed over. middle of the night while he’s sleeping – after they’ve only had one conversation. Modern voices and the urgent whisperings Talk about being forward toward a guy! of the enemy don’t make this battle any But when we take a closer, deeper look easier. An all-too-common error floating at the story of Ruth, we discover that she around out there goes something like this: is anything but a calculating, marriageseeking woman. In fact, her story presents Because God created the majority of us an amazing example of absolute surrender for marriage, it also stands to reason that to God, and leaving the pen in His faithful we as women are supposed to pursue hands. marriage, to be strategic and intentional about finding a husband, and to “give God In the beginning of the story, Ruth is a Moabitess, married to a Jew. When her a hand” in finding our spouse. husband dies, she cleaves to her motherThe idea of leaving the pen in God’s hands in-law Naomi and refuses to leave her and trusting Him to orchestrate our love side, even when Naomi decides to return stories sounds ridiculous, outlandish, to her own people in Israel. This was and even irresponsible to many modern not just an emotional attachment to her Christians. Those who contend that we dead husband’s mother. Rather, Ruth should write our own love story often recognized that Naomi’s God was the point to the Biblical story of Ruth as an only true God. She knew that in order to

EVEN AGGRESSIVE

serve the one true God, she must leave behind everything – her home, her family, her friends, even her very heritage as a Moabitess, and take on an entirely new identity. She says to Naomi: Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me. (Ruth 1:16) This incredible statement reveals a complete emptying of self. An absolute surrender and abandonment to serve Naomi and Naomi’s God with every breath

from that day forward. A laying down of all her own pursuits, dreams, and identity. And an amazing picture of what God desires in our attitude toward Christ. Ruth was not looking out for her own interests or her own dreams – she was yielded and subservient to Naomi the very same way we are to be yielded and subservient to our King. Throughout the rest of the story, Ruth is sensitive and obedient to Naomi in the very same way that we are to be sensitive and obedient to the Spirit of God. When Naomi asks Ruth to submit herself to Boaz, it is so that she might become the catalyst of redemption for the family. Contrary to popular belief, Ruth didn’t

IN FACT, HER STORY PRESENTS AN AMAZING EXAMPLE OF

ABSOLUTE SURRENDER TO GOD...

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femininity pursue Boaz because she wanted to find herself another husband and he seemed like a “good catch.” Ruth could have gone after many younger, more desirable men. (See Ruth 3:10) But Boaz was the nearest kinsman to Naomi, and he alone could redeem their family line and rescue them from the poverty and shame that had come upon them. It wasn’t about Ruth’s desires – it was about obedience. Instead of chasing after younger men to fulfill her own needs, Ruth allows her will to be swallowed up in Naomi’s. Ruth’s attitude was one of yielding all selfish desires and submitting, not only to Boaz himself, but to Naomi as well. Ruth could have had her pick of younger men. But she chose to forgo her own whims and submit to Naomi’s wishes. She chose to wait for Boaz, not because he was her first choice for a husband, but because he is the nearest kinsman to Naomi and the only one who can redeem her family line. Naomi asks Ruth to lay aside her own desires and become the catalyst for redemption. She willingly submits to Naomi, saying, “all that you say to me I will do.” (Ruth 3:5) It is also very important to realize that Ruth was not self-promoting toward Boaz.

Rather, the first time he speaks to her, she falls on her face and bows down to the ground, saying: Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner? (Ruth 2:11) Talk about honoring and serving a man’s position! Ruth is the opposite of an aggressive, take-the-lead kind of woman. Instead, she is utterly self-effacing and humble – beyond what most of us could ever imagine. Her attitude reflects that of Christ’s when He “made Himself nothing and took on the form of a servant.” (Phil 2:7)

their place. In the case of Ruth she was merely to uncover the feet of Boaz and lie down there until he should discover her presence and tell her what to do. When Ruth made herself known to Boaz, it was not to fulfill her own attraction or need for a husband. Rather, it was an act of selflessness and sacrifice. As the commentary continues:

IT WASN’T ABOUT RUTH’S DESIRES - IT WAS ABOUT

All Bethlehem knew that Ruth was a virtuous woman, for remaining a widow was one of the greatest proofs of purity to Jews. No doubt many young men, rich and poor, had sought her hand in marriage, but she had refused them. Boaz blessed Ruth…for being willing to take him, an older man, instead of rejecting him for a younger one, rich or poor.

When Ruth uncovers Boaz’s feet and lays down as he sleeps (in obedience to Naomi) it’s a profound statement, not of forwardness, but of the utmost humility and submission. My Bible’s commentary says:

Ruth appealed to Boaz as a kinsman redeemer for Naomi’s family line. It is not that she was saying, “I like you Boaz, will you marry me?” Rather, she was saying in essence, “I am willing for you to purchase me as your wife, that Naomi’s family name might be redeemed. I offer my body as a living sacrifice.”

Women of the East, when going to be with their lawful husbands, would, through modesty, and in token of subjection to them, go to the foot of the bed, gently raise the covers, creep up under them to

She was giving up her own pursuits and desires and offering to become a bondslave. Just exactly what Christ asks us to do when we take up our Cross and follow him.

OBEDIENCE.

That’s why Boaz praised Ruth for her virtue, and that’s why he marveled that she did not follow after younger men: Blessed are you of the LORD, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman. (Ruth 3:10-11) She was pouring out her all on the altar in order to receive him as a kinsmanredeemer. She was sacrificing her own desires and allowing herself to be purchased and redeemed. What a beautiful and profound picture of our rightful attitude toward Christ – much like Mary of Bethany pouring out her most priceless treasure upon Jesus’ feet. Ruth was not a woman who saw a guy she liked and helped the process along until he noticed her and became interested in her. Ruth is a woman who sacrificed everything to follow God’s will for her life.

And because she laid her all on the altar, she was immensely blessed. Just as we will be, when we lay down our own pursuits and whims, and yield completely to God’s voice alone. Can you trust God enough to wait for His direction, His timing, and His best? Can you yield to His design and allow the man He has chosen for you to take the lead, be the pursuer, and be the one to win your heart? Do you believe that God is more than capable of awakening a man’s heart toward you when the time is right? Can you wait for your Isaac instead of rushing ahead and creating an Ishmael? If you aren’t willing right now, ask God’s Spirit to transform your attitude and make you willing. It’s a prayer He delights to answer.

Back to that question of what we should do when it comes to this area of our lives. Ruth provides an amazing example: Yield. Submit. Let go of our own agenda. Don’t chase after available men. Humble ourselves. Watch. Pray. Listen. MAN Obey.

CAN YOU YIELD TO HIS DESIGN AND ALLOW THE HE HAS CHOSEN FOR YOU

TO TAKE THE LEAD?

And then sit back in wonder as God does His amazing work.

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A T EAM AR TI C L E

MANAGING YOUR MONEY

WELL

MONEY

isn’t a romantic aspect of life. It’s something that I think most of us have gnashed our teeth over, and made wild statements of “I wish money didn’t exist!” or “Why can’t money grow on trees?” But, I’ve come to realize, through the gentle prodding of a very loving Savior, that it truly can be a beautiful aspect of life because it is an excellent place to practice a complete surrender to the One who deserves our all--even our pocketbooks. When we realize that our money is not our own, and that just like every other aspect of lives--our bodies, our reputations, our plans and dreams-it belongs to Jesus, we begin to look at our finances with a completely different thought process. We begin to realize that even the way we handle money can and must bring glory to the Lord.

The team here at setapartgirl® would like to share some personal ways that the Lord has gripped this area of each of our lives, and give some insight into what He has taught us regarding bringing glory to Him in our finances and budgeting.

MANDY SAYS: When I was a little girl, I had a special necklace. Glistening beads in pastel hues of pink, purple, yellow, blue, and green formed a long chain and a small, beaded change purse hung at the end. It was a necklace that was made for the special purpose of carrying money to church.

“WHEN H E

A SK S F O R

OUR LIVE S, HE A SK S F O R O UR W H O LE LIF E . . .”

Growing up in a Christian home, I learned the concept of tithing, which meant giving a ten percent offering. As I have grown and walked with Christ, I have gained a fuller understanding of what giving to the Lord means. God’s Word commands that our lives be offered up as a living sacrifice. And this refers to our whole life - every facet, sphere, nook, and cranny - which so happens to include our finances. When He asks for our lives, He asks for our whole life - not just a hand or foot. Thus, when it comes to our finances, He asks for our entire paycheck - not just ten percent. Ask God to grow your faith in this area. As you do, you will personally learn that a truly surrendered pocketbook never runs dry. Whether your next fifty dollars is meant to meet the need of a neighbor, or to buy a pair of boots for wintertime - the most important thing is that Christ is the one leading and guiding. When you walk by faith, prayerfully giving and spending according to God’s priorities, you will always have what you need - guaranteed. May we never be afraid to entrust everything to the One who is unfailingly faithful! Rather, in light of His great faithfulness, may we be a people whose lives and pocketbooks are cheerfully given to Christ and faithfully spent for His glory!

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M E A L P L A NN IN G

HEATHER SAYS: The godly stewardship of our finances is an area my husband and I are continually learning and growing in. We are so thankful for the wisdom that God gives when we put our finances into His hands. One of the most practical and helpful things we have discovered is the significance of taking the time to “strategize” in the area of food. Toward the beginning of the year we realized that because of our lack of planning, we were making 3-5 trips to the store every week, eating out quite often, and having food go bad because we hadn’t mapped out our meals well. Our food budget was outrageous! Now, due to some simple organization and scheduling, we are able to make one

“O N E OF T H E MOS T P R AC T I CA L AN D H ELP F UL T H I N G S... TAKI N G TH E T I ME TO ST R AT EG IZ E IN T H E AR E A OF FO O D.”

“. ..NOT ONLY RE D UC ED O UR FOOD BUD GE T, BU T HA S A LS O R EDEE M E D MU C H OF O UR TIM E .”

big shopping trip each weekend for the following week’s meals. We usually have just the right amount of food, don’t eat out as often, and not to mention all the gas we save! This has not only reduced our food budget, but has also redeemed much of our time. Another principle we try to stick to as much as possible is only buying what is on our shopping list. After several months of practicing this, we were told that someone had realized when they bought only what was on their list, they saved 20% compared to shopping trips where they didn’t have a list or bought extra things! It is really neat to see the difference it makes when we put these simple ideas into action and strive to steward God’s money well.

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GRACE SAYS: I rustled around in the bottom of my purse and smiled apologetically at the cashier and tried to ignore the line of people behind me. Pulling out a wrinkled handful of bills, I saw a $5 and a couple $1s and handed the wad to the grimacing woman behind the counter. With exaggerated patience, she straightened and organized the bills before looking at up at me. “You’re $2 short.” She acted as if she hoped the remaining balance would appear from thin air so I would just leave already.

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“I T WAS N ’T UNTIL I SU R R EN D ER ED T H I S AREA O F MY LIF E TO T H E LOR D, T H AT T H IN G S R EAL LY

“Oh...um...” I stammered as I once again plunged my hand into the depths of my Mary Poppins-esque bag and hoped desperately that the money would materialize. I promised myself right then and there that never again would I find myself in such an embarrassing situation.

Money. Budgeting. Finances. It’s a part of life that my parents tried and tried to teach me responsibility in, but I still found myself with overdraft statements stacking up on my desk; I annoyed cashiers and other customers while I tried to produce the required amount from the depths of my purse, and many, many tears were shed over this very disorganized area of my life. Even after rash promises made to myself while standing in the check-out line in the grocery store, things didn’t suddenly drop into place in this area of my life. Sure, I became more organized, I attempted to budget my money the way my parents had faithfully taught me to, and the influx of overdraft notices from my bank slowly

START E D TO

MAKE S EN S E.”

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walk diminished--but it wasn’t until I surrendered this area of my life to the Lord, that things really started to make sense. This money is not mine, it is His. This money isn’t to better my life and make things more comfortable to me, it is for bringing glory to Him and giving it right back to Him. It isn’t for me to dictate what I do with it, it is for me to be a good steward of and use it for His purposes. I realized that I had to revamp this whole part of who I was, because in its current state, it was doing quite the opposite of bringing glory to the Lord. I handed it over to Him with open hands, and haven’t looked back since. It is an exceptionally freeing thing to not be in control of my money. I am still required to be responsible and a good a steward of what has been entrusted to me, but through all of it, I know that it is the Lord’s money that I am taking care of.

“THER F O RE , WHETHER YO U EAT OR DRINK , OR W HATE VE R YOU DO, D O A LL TO TH E GLORY O F GO D. . .”

There are various practical things I could go into, but things might look different for each person. I encourage you to take all you have and open your hands with it before the Lord. Ask Him to guide you and lead you-He will. Budgeting was something that was extremely important for me, and as mundane as it seemed, I had to adopt the verse in 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”--even budgeting. Your budget might look like a series of marked envelopes; it might be a file you have on your computer that you keep track of; it might be through utilizing mint.com--but every morning when you get up, go before the Lord and ask Him to show you how you can honor and glorify Him this day with the resources that have been entrusted to you.

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ELSJE SAYS: Spurgeon says it well: “Money is a good servant, but a bad master”. As followers of Christ, He is our only Master, and we cannot allow our souls to be bruised under the tyrannical thumb of money.

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“ ...W E A R E

God, as a gracious and loving Master, has entrusted us with finances, that we are to steward in a way that advances His kingdom within our lives. Discontentment, greed, envy, covetousness, and a host of similar sins so quickly make their slimy way into our souls when we allow ourselves to be ruled by love of money.

TO S T EWA R D

When money takes the place of Christ at the blazing center of the marriage, friction and strife are imminent. This begs the question, for married couples and singles,

W I T HI N OUR

I N A WAY TH AT ADVAN C ES HI S KI N GD OM

L I V ES.”

H O N O R H IM

“... LIVE E V ER -R E A DY TO GIVE W HAT W E HAV E AWAY. . . IF GO D S O C O M M A ND S.”

how do I keep money from ruling my thoughts, and dictating my decisions? Before I got married, I faithfully lived by what I dubbed “The envelope system”. I had several white envelopes, that I kept neatly and safely in a folder, to keep my budget in tact. I wrote on each of them what the money inside was allotted for, for example, some of those included “tithe”, “clothes”, “giving”, “spending”, etc. I found that this system helped me keep track of where my money was going, as well as keeping me from overspending. My husband and I live by the principle of “Dying with Empty Pockets,” as we like to call it. This basically means we keep a loose grip on our finances. As Christians, we ought to live ever-ready to give what we have away within a second’s notice, if God so commands.

ANNIE SAYS: Stand in a position of faith and honor. I had the blessing of being raised on faith by my godly parents, and all throughout my upbringing I watched them shine with trust in God’s promise “to supply all our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (see Phil. 4:19). Though we knew at times what it was to lose jobs, face bankruptcy, not know where we were going to live, and not know where the week’s grocery money would come from, God never failed us. We never went hungry or homeless. And rather than just answering our smallish prayers to have basic needs met, God always provided above and beyond all that we asked, and this both humbled me and mightily strengthened my faith. © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

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L O OK A T Y O U R SP E N DI N G

When I lack money, I stand in an unwavering position of faith that God will meet my needs. When I do have money, I seek to honor Him by how that money is used. And both positions bring Him glory! Look at what you’re spending. When money is exiting my bank account each day on bills, life necessities, social outings, and other such grown up things, it’s easy to lose track of where it is all actually going. One of the best ways to make my budget actually be of good use is to keep track of how much goes where. For example, if I see that I’ve spent a lot on eating out so far in the week, I can opt for inviting friends over to the house instead of meeting up at a coffee shop or restaurant again. Ask someone you respect how they budget and log their own spending to get ideas to implement in your life. I have also found using an app on my smartphone helps

“W HEN I LAC K MO N EY, I STAN D I N A N U N WAV E R IN G P O SI T I ON O F FAI TH T H AT G O D W I L L ME ET MY N EEDS.”

G I VE G E N E R OUSLY

“. ..SEE TH E M LA ST F RO M S EA SO N TO SEA S O N. . . SAV ING M E M ONEY IN TH E LON G RUN.”

me log things quickly, so I don’t have to save receipts and write it all down later. Shop sales, but invest in quality. Over the years, I’ve learned that while less expensive clothing can be exciting to buy in the moment, cheaply made clothes wear out quickly, and in the long run, I’m soon going back to the store to spend money again on replacement items. I’d rather put high quality items in my closet, even if they are more expensive up front, and see them last from season to season throughout the years, saving me money in the long run. Learn what brands are built to last and go on the hunt for those being on sale, rather than the already mass-produced, less expensive items. I also go to upscale consignment stores where they will give me cash or store credit in exchange for my unwanted clothes, and then I search their racks for

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those quality labels that last. Some of my favorite topbrand items were even found brand new with tags in these resale shops! Give generously. My mum always told me growing up, “Annie, you can never, ever out-give God.” Along with faithfully tithing, she modeled giving generously so beautifully, and I watched several exciting things happen as a result. Even with her always giving things away, we never suffered lack. Mum experienced the richest joy each time she gave to others, just as if she were giving directly to Jesus. Those who didn’t know the Lord were introduced to Him through her unexpected generosity and love. And, very often, just on the wings of mum’s giving, we’d see some beautiful provision come to our family in other ways!

“ ...MY U LT I MATE S EC U R I T Y IS

AKA LY G M E AULN SH PLA NNBIN

But the righteous gives, and does not hold back... Prov 21:26

Surrender your savings. I believe in saving money. I think it’s a wonderful discipline brimming with comfort and glowing with responsibility. And yet, as a Christian, my ultimate security is unshakably founded upon Christ. Holding too tightly to my savings hinders my readiness to be obedient to God’s purpose for that money (His money). Over the past few years, each time I’ve ever set aside a significant amount of money, I have seen God call upon it for something I didn’t plan on - family medical bills, a friend in need, a ministry opportunity, or a debt cleared; but the result of obedience and a readiness to give to the Lord, has always turned into a beautiful story. And He has yet to ever fail me in my own times of need.

F O U N DED UPON

C HR I ST.”

The

WEIGHT of our

WORDS by ELSJE ZORNES

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One of my

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favorite things as a little girl was the bedtime story we heard every night right before we drifted off into blissful slumber. Three little ones decked out in their favorite nighttime attire eagerly waited in one bedroom (usually mine) for my dad to come and charm our imaginations with all the different stories he read; the lilts of his “bedtime” voice must’ve been exceptionally self-soothing, as he usually fell asleep long before we got

to hear the moral of his tale! My 5-year-old imagination was far too captivated by thoughts of castles, princesses, and creatures like little pigs, bears, and billy goats that came in groups of three, to regard the precious lessons to be learned from the various stories. However, the remembrance of a particular fable recently made me reconsider and rethink the significance of my words. The story tells the tale of a young man who has a large and lush apple tree in his front yard. One day, as the man went about business as usual, he was completely astonished to find a large, solid gold apple on his tree. I so clearly recall being totally blown away by the size of this golden

apple, it looked more like a glowing golden tropical watermelon--it was huge! The whole town soon found out about this marvel, and flocked in herds to the man’s house to come and behold the wondrous golden apple; everybody wanted to catch a glimpse of this super-sized fruit. And who can blame them? You don’t see golden apples on your typical trip to the grocery store; boy, not even Whole Foods

WISE

CHO WORD

SET APART stocks those! It was such a rare sight that all the wonderstruck town folk would’ve killed to preserve and protect this unusual treasure! The Bible compares the right word, spoken at the right time, to “apples of gold in settings of silver (Prov 25:11).” What a statement! The value of a wisely chosen word is comparable to the most

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OSEN DS

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precious metal. God places such a high value on words, and sadly, it would seem as if we, in our modern culture, have lost sight of the worth and weight words carry. We don’t think twice about spewing out every thought that comes to mind, not considering the lasting impact our words have. The discipline of choosing and considering every word we utter has become as rare as the golden apple in the story!

The value of a wisely chosen word is comparable to the most precious metal. Most young women see nothing wrong with voicing their most intimate, private, and sacred feelings on a public platform, instead of guarding and weighing their words as if they were indeed as precious gold. Online social media has become an outlet for our innermost emotions and most sacred feelings, a place to “vent” in frustration or anger, or a soapbox to impulsively proclaim every minute detail of our daily lives. Instead of directing our hearts toward God in prayer, all too often

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we run to Facebook or our personal blog to broadcast to the masses the thoughts and sentiments that were meant to be guarded and protected with the same vigilance we would safe-guard the costliest jewels. Scripture commands us to pour out our hearts before God, for He is a refuge for us (Ps. 62:8). Instead of allowing our words to rise as priceless incense before the throne of God, too many of us choose to spill and waste our words in places where their worth seems to fade as pearls in the mud of a pig-pen.

Words are like seeds that we sow whenever we speak or write... You choose the seeds you are sowing. The Spirit of God desires to harness and bridle our lips, that our words might be protected by patience and upheld by wisdom. Scripture declares that there is more hope for a fool than for one who speaks in haste (Prov. 29:20). That should

S Y

SOW

cause us to tremble! Amongst the many virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman, is the wisdom and kindness that are found on her lips. She opens her mouth with shrewdness and prudence, tenderness, and truth flow out to bring life to those around her. In stark contrast to the meek and quiet manner of the Proverbs 31 woman, whose worth is “far above rubies,” Scripture tells us that the adulteress woman is “loud and stubborn (Prov. 7:11),” and her mouth is smoother than oil (Prov. 5:3). This woman pours out foolish and unchaste words from her glossy, red-smeared lips, without any

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THE SEEDS YOU ARE

WING

restraint or self-control. Her words have only one purpose: to draw all attention to herself. The agenda of her unrestrained soul is made clear through the words coursing through her lips; she seeks only to entice and allure, and has no interest in, nor regard for, self-control in the expression of her emotions and desires. That kind of attitude and behavior does not befit one whose lips have been cleansed and touched by the Spirit of God, to proclaim the wonders of His grace to a dying world. Scripture commands us in James 1:19, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every

man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.â&#x20AC;? Let our words, therefore, be few and wisely chosen; for in the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but the one that refrains her lips, is wise (Prov. 10:19). Another way of looking at it, is that words are like seeds that we sow whenever we speak or write. You choose the seeds you are sowing. Apple seeds always bring forth apples. You can plant apple seeds, that will bring forth apples that are nourishing and bring health and healing. Or you can plant poison ivy seeds, that will bring forth, you guessed it, poison ivy that only hurts, harms, and gives a really unattractive rash. We recently bought our first home. We discovered what many horticulturalists

May we be women whose words are drenched with the honor of heaven, filled with the fragrance of Christ, and glistening with wisdom! before us have concluded: Colorado’s soil is not conducive to thriving flora. The soil in our backyard is so dry and dead, it looks more like brown-tinted powder. Our dreams of a backyard that rivals the grounds of Pemberley have been shattered by the weedy desert we own instead. Until we truck in some good soil, even the best seeds will only wither and die if scattered in our yard. The same is true of our words. We can have seeds that are packed with life, ready to burst forth, blossom, and bear fruit, yet, if they are scattered in fallow ground, their end will see them wasting away. Precious words are not to be strewn on barren ground where they will be trampled, devoured, and devalued. Refuse to use the forum of the Internet to try and grow an orchard! All too often we wonder why our orchard ain’t growin’, and it is likely because we are sowing all our most precious seeds in the swamp of social media. Choose instead to be as a wise farmer, who carefully, cautiously, and with greatest discernment considers the most seasonable moment

and the most fruitful soil before sowing his precious seed. What it comes down to is this: words matter. Twitter, Facebook statuses, and blogs–where you are encouraged and enticed to jot down every aimless word that comes to mind–would love to tell you otherwise. But may we be a generation of young women, amidst a world that disregards and devalues the significance of words, who allow the King to transform our minds, so that every jot and tittle we write, and every word we speak, shout, whisper, or sing proclaims the glory of Christ! May we be women whose words are drenched with the honor of Heaven, filled with the fragrance of Christ, and glistening with wisdom! May the branches in the orchard of our lives be full of the golden apples of life, truth, purity, and love. Let us be a generation of women who join the prayer of the old hymn: “Take my lips, and let them be, filled with messages from Thee.”

MAKING IT

PRACTICAL HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER AND ASK YOURSELF ABOUT THE WORDS YOU ARE USING:

Am I speaking words that build others up and encourage them to greater givenness to Christ? Am I bringing life and healing with my words, or do they hurt and belittle? Am I choosing my words wisely, or am I scattering about idle words that are soaked in foolishness? Am I pouring out my heart before God in prayer, or am I turning to any form of social media to voice my thoughts and needs?

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SET APART

PART SIX

RELATIONSHIP SERIES

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with Leslie Ludy

THE SECRET TO

HappilyEverAfter GROWING SPIRITUALLY TOGETHER WITH YOUR SPOUSE

In today’s world,

the idea of happily ever after can seem almost ridiculous amid heated divorce hearings, scandalous affairs, and broken homes. And yet, each new bride and groom that walks down the aisle still dares to hope that their love story will be the one in a million that somehow stands the test of time.

As a newly married couple, you might have heard a common piece of advice from friends, counselors or marriage experts. It goes something like this: “Don’t let your expectations for marriage become too high. It is important to have a realistic view of what you are headed into. Don’t expect a fairy tale or you will be disappointed.”

explore God’sWord

Yet when we are young and in love, it’s hard not to hope for happily ever after. Despite the divorce epidemic that rages around us, something inside of us longs for more than a mediocre love story. Eric and I believe that fairy tales do exist, and that happily ever after can be preserved for a lifetime. We believe that a successful marriage is not found when you lower your expectations. Rather, we believe that success comes when you exchange your human hopes and dreams for God’s heavenly ones.

Happily ever after is impossible without the God of the universe backing you up. But when Jesus Christ remains at the center of your marriage, you can trust that your fairy tale will end even more beautiful than it began.

Happily Ever After is impossible without the God of the universe backing you up.

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Probably the most important principle for keeping Christ at the center of your marriage is learning how to grow together spiritually. While it is certainly important to have your own individual relationships with God, there is now a new dimension to your spiritual life: your relationship with God as a couple. When one spouse moves forward spiritually and the other remains spiritually stagnant, the marriage team is compromised. A figure-skating team cannot be excellent together if one is at the Olympic level and the other is still learning

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how to skate backwards. The beauty of a fully-functioning marriage team is only experienced when both members pursue spiritual excellence together. This is what the apostle Paul means when he says that Christian marriages should be “equally yoked.” (2 Corinthians 6:14) Together, you can have a far greater spiritual impact for God’s kingdom than you can apart. But becoming a spiritual team takes focus and effort. Modern Christianity does not always make it easy for couples to grow together spiritually. There are women’s Bible study groups and men’s prayer meetings, men’s rallies and women’s conferences, spiritualgrowth books for men and different books for women. And while being strengthened spiritually from a male-only or female-only perspective can be important and healthy, it should never replace being strengthened spiritually as a team.

Here are some practical ways to make sure you are growing together spiritually:

EXPLORE GOD’S WORD TOGETHER Plan a time in your schedule, whether daily or weekly, that you can sit down together and study God’s Word as a couple. Discuss ahead of time what areas of the Bible you would like to learn more about, and then be sure to obtain all the necessary tools

ahead of time that will help you have an effective study session. At first, studying the Bible together may not seem like a very exciting way to spend your time. But as you pursue God’s Word as a team you will discover rich spiritual truths that will greatly enhance your lifestyle and your relationship with God and each other. As you experience God’s Word together, you will naturally become more and more of a unified team, sharing the same vision, passion, convictions and beliefs. If you develop this habit early in your marriage, you will be amazed at the lifelong benefits it will reap.

PRAY AND WORSHIP TOGETHER If you haven’t already developed the daily habit of praying with your spouse, then begin tonight. Praying together daily for your life and marriage reminds you to keep Christ in the center of your relationship. It helps you realize that you can do nothing in your own strength, and it keeps you dependent upon God as a couple. Eric and I pray together every night before we go to bed – we thank God for the day and lay all

The more you turn your eyes to heavenly things together, the more you will naturally be on the same pages through the ups and downs of life. © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

SET APART of our “burdens” at His feet. Each morning as soon as we wake up, we hold hands and offer ourselves fully and completely to God, yielding to Him afresh and allowing Him to do whatever He desires in and through us that day. Agreeing together in prayer is one of the single greatest ways to establish unity in your marriage relationship. It may feel awkward to pray aloud together if you have never done it before, but if you begin to carve out time for prayer together each day, it will soon

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become a natural part of your life. Eric and I also love to worship together – to sit at the piano and sing songs of love to our Lord. Focusing on Christ as a couple is a wonderful way to take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and remember what a huge, amazing God you serve. Consider taking time to worship with your spouse – whether you plunk out songs on your guitar, listen to a worship CD, or simply read a Psalm out loud. The more you turn your eyes to heavenly things together, the more you will naturally be on the same page through the ups and downs of life.

READ SPIRITUAL BOOKS TOGETHER Eric and I have found that reading spiritual books as a couple – especially historical Christian biographies – greatly inspires us to grow together spiritually. Even before we were married, we read books about heroic Christians and discussed our desire to emulate their examples. Reading stories of great Christians as a couple offers many hours of significant discussion – talking about their lives of sacrifice and wondering if and how God might use us in the same way. Books like these help paint a picture of the amazing adventure God has called us to as a couple – and

help remind us never to settle for spiritual mediocrity. Take some time to obtain a few Christian biographies – then read them out loud together and talk about their lives.

ATTEND SIGNIFICANT EVENTS TOGETHER Whenever possible, attend conferences or retreats together rather than separately. Christian events are often places where we have “mountaintop experiences” with God – they provide times to get away from

the daily routine of life and be spiritually renewed and refreshed. It is difficult to share the depth of your experience with your spouse if they have not been a part of what has taken place. If you return from a Christian event motivated and spiritually charged, and your spouse is in the same place they were before, unable to comprehend what you are so excited about, it can cause a great deal of frustration and even marital friction. But if you experience the mountaintop together, you will be much more able to implement

sha

Let your spouse be a part of all that God is doing in your life...

SET APART your new understanding of truth into your daily life as a unified team. This isn’t to say that attending Christian events separately is harmful – sometimes it can be very refreshing to get away on your own and spend time learning more about God’s ways as an individual. But when you do, be sure that you plan a time to sit down with your spouse and allow him or her to share in what you learned and experienced there. Offer plenty of grace if your spouse doesn’t fully appreciate your

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excitement – remember that your spouse has been plugging away in the typical daily grind while you have been up the mountain and back. No matter what the response, do your best to let your spouse be a part of all that God is doing in your life, rather than hording the “treasures” all for yourself.

SHARE WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING INDIVIDUALLY Even as you grow together spiritually, it

are together

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is important to maintain your individual relationships with God. Eric has an extremely passionate and active spiritual life, and I had to learn early in our marriage that I could not live my spiritual life vicariously through him. I needed to keep pursuing my own passionate relationship with Christ. We make our own individual quiet times a top priority in our life together. And when God is at work in my heart I share it with Eric. When I feel a specific nudge in a certain direction or I feel convicted about heading down the wrong path, I make sure that I tell Eric what

Make growing together spiritually your highest priority. You will be amazed at the

unity, peace, and romance

that flows into your relationship as a result.

is going on inside. And when I uncover an exciting truth in Scripture or read an incredible testimony of faith in a Christian biography, I share my discoveries with my husband. He does the same for me. We don’t share every little nuance about our individual spiritual lives, but we do make an effort to keep each other aware and involved in what is happening spiritually in our hearts and minds. The more you learn to talk about spiritual things and discuss how God is working in you, the more your individual spiritual lives will flow in the same direction. + + Throughout almost twenty years of marriage to Eric, I have found that the times when our relationship flourishes the most is when we are on the same page spiritually – learning together, growing together, praying together, exploring God’s Word together. No amount of marriage advice, books, or romantic getaways can ever compare to the beauty and unity that flows from our marriage when we focus on Jesus Christ together. I whole-heartedly believe that pursuing Christ together truly is the secret for happily ever after love stories. So if you want to get your marriage off to a great start, make growing together spiritually your highest priority. You will be amazed at the unity, peace, and romance that flows into your relationship as a result.

HappilyEverAfter {

PART SIX

RELATIONSHIP SERIES

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with Leslie Ludy

RUE PURITY

Relating to Guys in a Christ-honoring Way THE NEWEST STUDY AVAILABLE FROM LESLIE LUDY! Fairy tale love stories are more than possible, even in today’s perverse and warped generation. But don’t expect to find a fairy tale by imitating the haphazard, hold-nothing-back version of romance you see all around you. Only when you are willing to become one of the “few” in this generation who will go to all lengths to serve and honor your King will you experience His very best in romance and guy friendships. Join Leslie Ludy as she takes you on a life-changing eight-week journey to discover God’s pattern for true purity, and answers your toughest questions about relating to guys in a God-honoring way.

ORDER HERE

Q&A This question came into our ministry and was beautifully answered by Lauren Robertson.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN A RELATIONSHIP THAT SEEMED RIGHT, BUT HAS NOW ENDED? Dear sister, I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t explain your ended relationship. We read in Romans 11.33 that the Lordâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ways are past finding out. Though I understand your desire for an explanation, your response to its ending is much more important than figuring out the reason for its ending. In every area of our lives, Jesus asks us to gladly let go of anything He asks for. Only sorrow, pain, and emptiness are to be gained from holding onto our ways. In contrast, a surrendered life is one that daily experiences His exceeding joy, limitless grace, and boundless love! When He asks hard things of us and we do not understand His ways, we can trust that His supernatural grace - the power of His life in us - will accompany our obedience. If the Lord has closed the door on this relationship, let that door remain closed. Instead of dwelling in the past by mulling over memories, listening to those special songs, and browsing through old photos, press forward after Jesus. As soon as a memory clamors for your attention or you are inclined to pine over what might have been, quickly turn to Jesus. Let the peace of His presence rule your heart and mind, not your emotions and desires. Seek His strength and peace - He will give it! Ask the Lord to examine your heart and humbly receive any correction that He may give you. And remember that He withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly. (Psalm 84.11) That is a promise!

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G I V E N P H O T O G R A P H Y : PA R T T H R E E

BEHIND THE CAMERA STORIES OF GRACE AND PROVISION GIVE THANKS UNTO THE LORD, CALL UPON HIS NAME, MAKE KNOWN HIS DEEDS AMONG THE PEOPLE. I Chronicles 16:8

by ANNIE WESCHE

All of us have stories to tell, but what makes them worth telling is the reality of who Jesus is in and through those events in our lives. He is our hope in hardship, our comfort in pain, our anchor in uncertainty, our joy in the laughter, our confidence in the unknown, our courage in the formidable, and the beauty in love. So to wrap up this series (and for the love of talking about Jesus) I want to share three memorable stories in my life that have significantly impacted me as a photographer.

“NOT TO US, O LORD, NOT TO US, BUT UNTO THY NAME GIVE GLORY, FOR THY MERCY, AND FOR THY TRUTH’S SAKE.” Psalm 115:1

STORY ONE: GIVEN GEAR My first serious camera was with me for years, weathering international trips, various personal projects, and a good many semesters of Ellerslie portrait sessions and candid captures. But eventually, it just came to it’s end. The shutter was shot and it appeared it would cost about the same to repair my camera as it would to simply buy a new one. I didn’t have the money for either. Having experienced God’s provision many times before in sometimes unusual ways, I gave my need to the Lord and trusted He would equip me once again for my photography. I planned to set money aside as I could, but also believed He could provide in other ways too. The need was His and I believed He would meet it. Not long after I began praying, a camera was put into my mailbox, all wrapped up with an anonymous note. I eagerly unwrapped the box and found a beautiful, gentlyused Nikon that would work with all my other gear. I was over the moon with joy! Immediately, I gave thanks to the Lord and asked Him to bless the one who had secretly given it. It was a model I didn’t

know anything about, but what did I care? I had a camera again! That evening I went online to learn about my new camera and the very first information I found called it “the worst camera Nikon has ever made.” The excitement balloon soaring high above me immediately burst. I was a bit disappointed, but had to remind myself that I was once camera-less and now I had one in my hands again - however humble of a model it may be. And it was still a significant, memorable answer to my prayers.

GOD HAS ALWAYS KEPT ME WELL AWARE OF THE REALITY THAT MY PHOTOGRAPHY IS HIS GIFT, NOT MINE. God has always kept me well aware of the reality that my photography is His gift, not mine. Any success I achieve is because of His grace, not anything I can boast in, and this camera was a true test of where

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my confidence would lie - in top of the line gear or the enabling grace of God. I’ve since moved on to another camera, but for a little over a year, I took photos on the “worst camera Nikon ever made” -- pictures that beautifully defied the label some internet review had given it and showcased to me the grace of God. Again and again God showed me that He was the one who would provide in this work and if I would hold fast to Him as my confidence anchor, not equipment, skill, or praise, then He would enable me unto every good work He had purposed for me to do. To the anonymous giver: God has used your gift to have a lasting impact upon me as a photographer and that camera has been put to use in countless ministry ways. With a full heart of gratitude, thank you.

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anything worth using. I put off editing until I was on the plane headed home, and as I uploaded the photos and began scanning through them, I was completely disappointed. These are awful, I thought. There’s nothing to use here. They’re not professional enough...or sharp enough. My friends are going to be so disappointed!

STORY TWO: GIVING UP MY GLORY A few years ago, I was asked to take promotional photos for a children’s choir directed by good friends of mine. I was visiting some other friends in Haiti at the same place the choir children lived and it provided a perfect opportunity for me to take the choir’s needed pre-tour photos. Truthfully, it was a tremendously difficult task for me. Trying to coordinating 20 children for a photoshoot was nearly disastrous, and when it was all done, I was doubtful that I had gotten

As I sat in my aisle seat, with everyone around me absorbed in either their inflight movies or in-flight naps, I just wanted to cry. Surely Lord, there is something here they can use. Please rescue these photos in some way! Editing? Filter style? Can I do anything to save these? After spending a good bit of time staring at my photos and wallowing in my failure, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. When I turned, one of the stewards was there and said, “I don’t mean to be spying over your shoulder...I’m really sorry, but...I just have to ask. Who are those children?” With that one question, I began to see that God was wanting to teach me a significant lesson in the midst of my personal failure and disappointment. Who are those children? That was the whole purpose of the photos! To cause people to ask who these children were

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and then introduce them to the choir, its purpose, and its powerful message of hope and redemption for orphaned and vulnerable children. I shared with the steward about the choir and about the specific stories of the children. He was moved. And I was too, over the valuable lesson God was teaching me. God wasn’t interested in my glory or praise, He was interested in souls, in stories, and in His point coming through. And He wanted me to be focussed on those things, not my personal success or the opinion of others. All throughout the flight, the steward kept coming by to look at more photos and a few other people walking the aisle or sitting nearby did too, commenting, “What beautiful children!” and “Oh wow, is that a choir?” As I surrendered my work, changed my perspective, and offered up the photos for God’s use, I was able to edit them and salvage a handful of the photos that went on to be used in many ways. The choir directors loved them and used them repeatedly, the orphanage director enlarged them and hung them up all over their ministry facility, and many of those photos are still some of my personal favorites.

We can always learn more, work harder, and become better. We can always ask God for more needed inspiration and creativity, but the minute my talent, ideas, or praise step up on the pedestal to claim glory, then I have ceased to be doing the work of the Lord. His glory and His message are the point. And when that is in its proper place, you can count on His grace and anointing to produce powerful work through you.

THE MINUTE MY TALENT, IDEAS, OR PRAISE STEP UP ON THE PEDESTAL TO CLAIM GLORY, THEN I HAVE CEASED TO DO THE WORK OF THE LORD.

STORY THREE: G O D G AV E T H E Q U E E N Just over ten years ago while I was a young Bible college student in the picturesque Lake District of England, my friends and I took a mid-term holiday to the Scottish city of Edinburgh. Our first day there, we learned that the Queen was in residence and would be parading through the main street the following morning in celebration of her Golden Jubilee. I was beside myself with joy and did my best to rally the excitement of my less-than enthusiastic friends. We arrived early enough the next morning to claim a good spot along the road. The streets filled and people pressed against the barricades to glimpse the Queen and share in the celebration. I captured the ornate carriages, the soldiers decked out in all their finest, the cheering crowds full of kiddies and waving flags, and I waited with near goosebumps for the Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arrival. It was a surreal moment for this American girl who had fallen in love with England, and esteemed the dignity and decorum within the traditions of British royalty.

SET APART Those were the days before digital. Before you could see what you’d captured or could delete the unnecessary shots and make more room on your SD card. I framed each shot with intention, hoping that my photos would turn out as beautiful as the scenes I held with my eyes. But just as the queen was approaching and to my utter dismay, I made an epic mistake. I ran out of film just as the Queen was passing me by. In that brief moment of realization, I told myself to get a grip and just enjoy the moment. After all, I was seeing it all in person. I was there in the midst of the crowd and cheers and joy of such a festive event. There had been no time to change film. I missed it. The pinnacle of the whole affair, and I had missed my opportunity to photograph the Queen.

I MISSED IT. THE PINNACLE OF THE WHOLE AFFAIR, AND I HAD MISSED MY OPPORTUNITY TO PHOTOGRAPH THE QUEEN. As the parade passed on and the street grew quieter, my friends turned around to see tears in my eyes rather than the

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beaming elation I had displayed before the parade. After hearing of my big photographer fail, they shrugged it off and said they’d be happy to get me copies of their photos. But if you are a photographer, you know that you want to be the one to capture the moment and remember what your eyes uniquely saw. That night as I laid awake in my bunk bed at the guest hostel, I couldn’t find sleep. Disappointment fed the damaging frustration I was allowing to have free reign over my emotions. But in the quiet, suddenly and gently the Lord set my eyes to see the foolishness of my disappointment. This was not a reason for tears or a pouty disposition. I had missed the big moment, yes, but I was far too impressed with the opportunity to take photos of the Queen, rather than simply taking joy in what God had allowed all of us to see that day. I halted my frustration and shifted my heart as I prayed, Forgive me Lord, this is not a reason to lose my joy. You gave us brilliant moments today and I have every reason to be full of joy and gratitude. Thank you for giving me today and I give over my camera once more for Your use. Don’t let it take a higher position than You have in my heart. The following morning, our group made our way to a Starbucks in the center of town where we had arranged to all meet

up and plan our day. What happened next was like a scene from a movie. I noticed my shoe was untied and told everyone to go on ahead of me. I knelt down and as I stood back up, I noticed the barricades were still up from the previous day’s parade. A roundish policeman stood nearby with arms folded and I asked him why they had not been taken down. He smiled and said, “Well, the Queen’s coming by this morning on her way to church.” I spilled over with excitement telling him how I’d missed the chance to take a photo the day before. He laughed and pointed down the road saying, “Well, you’d better hurry, because here she comes.”

ONCE I SURRENDERED, HE GAVE ME BACK SOMETHING ALTOGETHER UNIQUE AND FAR MORE MEMORABLE THAN MY OWN DESIRES HAD BEEN. Right then I turned to see the Queen’s black town car approaching. I had little time. My film camera was turned off and tucked away in my camera bag, and her

car was moving rapidly towards us. I did the only proper thing I could think to do. I began running on the sidewalk alongside the Queen’s car, yelling excitedly behind me at my friends (who could not possibly hear me), “The Queen, the Queen!”, and wrestled my camera out of my bag. Yes, I was an absolute spectacle of foreign tourist glory. But it worked a most brilliant effect which I wouldn’t realize till later when my film was developed. I snapped three quick frames and then the car was gone. I stood there out of breath and in disbelief but with an enormous smile on my face. The day before I had clung to something I wanted and I was ridiculously wrecked with disappointment when I didn’t get it. But in God’s gentle grace, He set my heart to see what was important and what wasn’t. And once I surrendered, He gave back something altogether unique and far more memorable that my own desires had been. I got my photos back weeks later and one photo, one perfect photo was there with a very Scottish street, a fancy black car, a Queen, and a Duke staring right back with a smile for the crazy American girl who ran alongside his car smiling and yelling that day. In a somewhat embarrassing, somewhat comical, and somewhat magical moment, I learned that I should always trust my

SET APART photo moments to God. He is capable of putting me anywhere and in front of anything He wants me to capture, and He has all power and perfect knowledge at His disposal. If I walk in surrender and joyful, trusting faith, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll know how to follow His lead.

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I LEARNED THAT I SHOULD ALWAYS TRUST MY PHOTO MOMENTS TO GOD. HE IS CAPABLE OF PUTTING ME ANYWHERE AND IN FRONT OF ANYTHING HE WANTS ME TO CAPTURE...

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LIFE AS TREES TREES

by an ANONYMOUS WARRIOR-POET

“...[she] shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water...” Psalm 1:3

G O D ’S PIC TUR ES Imagine with me two trees. One is planted in a beautiful, lush valley alongside a massive river. Its roots sink deep into the rich soil, its core is filled with the sap of life, its height is magnificent and brawny,

and its branches are filled with healthy, delightful fruit. The second tree is planted in an arid desert where the sun beats down, sucking up every drop of water in the soil, providing no nourishment for its thirsting roots. The ground is scorched

...the environment and soil in which the tree is rooted will determine its fate.

SET APART and cracked, leaving the tree drained of all sustenance. Its core is dry, its branches are broken, and its fruit is shriveled up. Now, which tree will stand when the storms come, when the winds rise and seek to tear it from its foundation? Which one will remain rooted and set in the ground where it is planted? At the moment of tempest, when the pressure comes and seeks to uproot that tree with its barraging force, the environment and soil in which the tree is rooted will determine its fate.

BLESSED O N ES Three thousand years ago, David, the king of Israel, gives a similar picture to the one I just described. In Psalm 1 he says, “Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; And in His law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever it does shall prosper.” (Psalm 1:1-3) This is a wonderful picture to compare our lives with - a tree with fruit that is rooted in rich, river-fed soil. He describes and contrasts for us the things we must avoid

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and things we must do if we are to be blessed and rooted in that good soil. He first addresses walking in the counsel of the ungodly. We can define the ‘ungodly’ as the people of the world, the flesh, or even the Enemy himself. It is to listen to and buy into the world’s systems, standards, and strategies as if what this world has to offer is true and right. He continues by saying, “...Nor stands in the way of sinners.” This is simply to live one’s life in the same way as the sinner. The subtle compromise of turning to the counsel of the ungodly and choosing to believe what they say then leads to living in the same way as a sinner. Why? Because they are believing what they are receiving from the ungodly! As all sin, it doesn’t stop there; David finishes this downward progression with, “Nor sits in the seat of the scornful.” Soon this receiving and believing of lies leads to abiding with the ungodly rather than the righteous. They think, speak, and act just like the unbeliever. They are now a practicing lover of sin.

Which tree will stand when the storms come? This is where many men and women find themselves deceived in our generation. They somehow think that they can believe what the world has to say about relationships, sex, marriage, family, fame,

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money, etc, and still be Christians. But by that very definition, they prove not to be. We could name an abundance of ideas, thoughts, actions, and motives taken from the world which many ‘professing’ Christians have believed. They have taken the counsel of the ungodly, and have therefore chosen to be ungodly themselves! Furthermore, even the strongest Christians can find themselves deceived if they begin to listen to and believe what the ungodly have to say. Don’t be deceived: you will do what you believe, and you will believe who or what you take counsel from.

...You will do what you believe, and you will believe who or what you take counsel from. The good news of this picture is that David’s focus isn’t on these attributes of an ‘unhealthy’ tree, but instead he is centering on the attributes of a ‘healthy’ tree: one that is planted firmly in good soil and prospers in all it does. He doesn’t go into the particulars of the barren soil, or even what an unhealthy tree would look like. Rather, he gives great detail on how we can be like this ‘healthy’ tree; both warning us of dangerous obstacles and giving instructions for blessed living.

DE L IG H T The strong tree is planted in the soil of God’s Spirit by participating in two things. The first is delight. It is to take a high degree of pleasure in something. It is satisfaction of heart, mind, and soul. It is not dependent on situational fulfillment or a sudden burst of excitement, happiness, or joy. The person who will be blessed and planted in the rich soil of the Spirit will delight in the law of the Lord, which is the scriptures of our great God. David spoke of this delight many times throughout the Psalms. “I delight to do thy will, O my God: Yea, thy law is within my heart.” (Psalm 40:8) “Delight thyself also in the Lord; And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” (Psalm 37:4) “Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counsellors.” (Psalm 119:24) It was in this position and action of delighting in the Word of God that God’s law was planted within his heart and that he received the deep desires and longings of his soul.

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The strong tree is planted in the soil of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Spirit...

DELIGHT

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MED ITA TION With delight comes meditation, the second attribute of a blessed and strong tree. Meditation might sound strange, but it is a beautifully simple truth. A summary of the Hebrew word is basically to utter, muse, or ponder. It is to give serious thought to select information, and includes the possible implication of speaking in low tones reviewing the material. The English definition is similar in its meaning: to dwell on anything in thought; to contemplate; to study; to turn or revolve any subject in the mind. Just as David spoke much of delight, we find meditation scattered throughout his writings as well.

True meditation leads to obedience.

“I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.” (Psalm 77:12) “O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.” (Psalm 119:97) “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.” (Psalm 143:5) “Mine eyes prevent the night watches, that I might meditate in thy word.” (Psalm 119:14)

SET APART Meditation leads to the internalization of truth which will produce fruit. We find this clearly stated in Joshua 1:8:

Meditation leads to the internalization of Truth... “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe (obey) to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” True meditation leads to obedience. When we think deeply about the truth of God’s Word, it propels us to obedient action. We can know details and facts about the scriptures by delighting in them, but unless those truths are established and rooted deep within the soul by a conscious, consistent, continual meditation, then our flesh will over rule us--we will turn to self and the world for counsel instead of the living Word of God.

TO RA H The reality is, we were created to worship. We will always be worshiping something. We will either worship God or other things as god. We can have a life of delight and

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plenty of meditation on the wrong things-this is called idolatry. This is why it is so important to note that the object of our delight and meditation must be the law of the Lord: Jesus. He is the law of God, the direction of life, and the instruction in perfect righteousness and truth.

T H E F R U IT O F T H E T REES We see the concept of comparing our lives with trees throughout the scriptures. David tells us that “The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.” (Psalm 92:12) and Solomon wisely notes that “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life;” (Proverbs 11:30a). Ezekiel beckons us into his prophetic vision as he describes for us what he sees. We read, “And by the river upon the bank thereof, on this side and on that side, shall grow all trees for meat, whose leaf shall not fade, neither shall the fruit thereof be consumed: it shall bring forth new fruit according to his months, because their waters they issued out of the sanctuary: and the fruit thereof shall be for meat, and the leaf thereof for medicine.” (Ezekiel 47:12). Jesus clearly teaches us that this will be the distinguishing factor between the believer and the unbeliever. He says, “Ye shall know them by their fruits...Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth

visible fruit! We see what happens to trees that find their roots in the soil nourished by the river of life--they grow to be mighty and their fruit is used on the behalf of others. In the end, our fruit is not for us-it’s for Christ and, as His body, it’s for the world around us. We are built up and rooted as strong trees to bear fruit for the consumption of a lost and needy world.

S O W H Y T A L K A B O U T T R EES IN A G IR L S ’ M A G A Z I NE?

...She was constantly turning to God for counsel and not the world around her. forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit...Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” (Matthew 7:1620). Paul also tell us in Galatians five of the fruits of the Spirit, alluding to a vine or tree. These Scriptures plainly describe for us our lives as trees. We can see that true trees will be planted in the rich soil of God’s Word: Jesus. They will be be river-fed by God’s Spirit and they will bear very real,

I remember well one of the things that first attracted me to my wife: her seriousness about the things of God. She was rooted in the Lord. We were very young, and neither she nor I were mature in our relationships with Christ, but she was constantly turning to God for counsel and not the world around her. This was a beautiful attribute and it is one that continues to mark her life. Men who are pursuing God will be attracted to women who are also serious about pursuing Him. Do not listen to the counsel of this world. Seek Christ with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Not only will you be a blessing to the man you will one day marry, but to all those who come in contact with your life. Now, be “Rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.” (Colossians 2:7)

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TENDING TO THEIR SOULS Sharing the GOSPEL

with your children by LESLIE LUDY

Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

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i will never forget the moment when our firstborn child, Hudson, gave his life to Jesus. He and Daddy had been pulling weeds together in the backyard, and Eric began talking with him about spiritual things, and about the condition of his soul. Hudson, though only six at the time, was responsive and attentive – which in hindsight can only be attributed to the grace of God, since he had a very short attention span at that time in his life! Eric lovingly and thoroughly explained the Gospel to Hudson. About two hours later, Hudson fully understood his complete and utter need for a Savior, and he asked Jesus Christ to wash him clean and overtake his life.

readiness to understand and receive the Gospel, unlike any other time in their lives. It’s up to us as parents to sow the seeds of truth into this fertile ground, while we have the chance. Many Christian parents today focus on instilling godly character in their children, but fail to undergird them with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I wholeheartedly believe that character training is of great importance in a child’s life, as I’ve shared in previous articles. But if we never introduce our children to the Person of Jesus Christ and help them cultivate a personal, intimate, daily relationship with Him, then all our character training will be meaningless in the long run. Studies show that a disturbingly large number of young people who have grown up in Christian homes have left the faith by the time they graduate from college. Many of these young people had godly parents who spent hours training them in godly behaviors. They attended Sunday school

As a parent, there is nothing greater than seeing your children come into the Kingdom of God. It’s easy to get sidetracked with tending to our kids’ health, social development, education, and athletics. All these things are certainly If we learn to build our family valuable, but if we never tend life around the GOSPEL, we will to their souls, we will overlook the most important need in give our kids a foundation of their lives. God has given our Truth that will last eternally. children a child-like faith and

SOW SEEDS OF TRUTH

and church. They went to youth group and had Christian friends. And yet, they never made a covenant exchange with the King of all kings. All the character training, Bible knowledge, and church activities in the world can never replace a genuine, personal relationship with Jesus Christ and an unshakable foundation in the Gospel-life.

We have the amazing opportunity and privilege of leading our little ones into a relationship with Christ, which should be the foundation of every godly behavior pattern in their lives. In the early years, our children must be taught to comply with correct behavior simply because of the requirements and expectations of their parents and other authorities. But our ultimate goal should be for our children

Before they can grasp the GOOD NEWS, they must fully comprehend the bad news. to turn their lives wholeheartedly over to Jesus Christ and embrace godly behavior patterns not merely out of duty or fear of punishment, but out of a heart-felt desire to love, honor, and please their King. This process takes time, especially when our children are young. But if we learn to build our family life around the Gospel, we will give our kids a foundation of Truth that will last eternally. A lot of Christian parents seem to think that others are more qualified than they are to share the Truth of Jesus Christ with their kids. It’s tempting to believe that if our kids attend Sunday school and Bible clubs, they’ll be introduced to the Gospel, which can then be reinforced at home. But this is backwards reasoning.

God has entrusted us with the amazing privilege of leading our little ones to Christ. Following Jesus is the most crucial decision our child will ever make; the decision that will determine his or her eternal fate. Who better to facilitate this all-important decision than we as parents – the ones who have been anointed and appointed by God for this sacred task? This certainly doesn’t mean that Sunday school and Bible clubs are to be avoided. Outside Christian influences can be a wonderful tool to help shape your child’s spiritual growth and development. But parents should take the lead in giving their children a strong foundation in the Gospel, and outside Christian influences should merely be tools to reinforce the Truth they are receiving at home.

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Remember, no matter how unqualified you may feel, God has given you a special anointing for this task. If you ask Him to equip you and lead you, He will provide all of the wisdom, creativity, and words you need to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with your children. I would like to share some practical principles that have greatly helped my husband and I in sharing these life-changing truths with our kids.

1) DON’T SUGARCOAT TRUTH Our children have all been quite young – between the ages of four and six – when we first began speaking to them about the Gospel. When dealing with this age group, it’s tempting to focus only on the happy aspects of the Gospel, and downplay the notion of sin, death, and hell. After all, we don’t want to upset our kids with overly serious matters that their little minds are not ready for! But if children never recognize the seriousness of sin and the horrible destiny that awaits those who do not know Jesus Christ, their hearts will not be truly prepared to understand the “good news.” So it’s important not to sugar-coat the Truth. They need to be disturbed over

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their sin. They need to recognize their helplessness to be clean and justified before God. And they need to understand the terrible misery of hell. Before they can grasp the good news, they must fully comprehend the bad news. A few months ago, we had a Sunday morning “church service” in our living room, with only our family present. My husband and I spent about two hours walking through the Gospel with our three youngest children. We started out with the story of Adam and Eve, and the saddest day in history when sin entered the world. We talked about the perfect righteousness and holiness of God, and how no one can come into His presence unless they are perfect too. We talked about sin, and what sin does in our lives. We talked about the “place of pain” - an eternity of sadness and separation from God, for everyone who has ever sinned even once in their life. Along the way, the children interrupted to ask questions or repeat things back to us, and we found ourselves having to clarify and re-explain things a few times, but overall, they seemed to grasp the seriousness of the “bad news.”

They began to spontaneously confess different sins they had committed – disobedience, lying, and even stealing (our youngest son solemnly admitted to taking a matchbox car from the church toy bin when he was three.) As they recognized how sinful they were, they began to realize that they could simply never get to Heaven on their own. They were quiet and sober as this fact became clear.

Then, we were able to introduce them to the amazing, wonderful, incredible, jubilant reality of the Gospel. How Jesus Christ, who knew no sin, became a sacrifice for us to make a way to the Father. How He took our place on the Cross and bore the punishment that should have been ours. What glorious news! The kids were excited to recognize how much Jesus loved them, and how much He had sacrificed for them.

...our children need to learn the principle of reckoning themselves dead unto sin and alive unto righteousness.

Then we explained to them what it means to be “in Christ.” We told them what it means to be washed clean by His blood, to turn our lives over to His rulership, and to be clothed in His righteousness. They were

SET APART happy and excited as they realized what an amazing gift and opportunity Jesus was offering to each of One by one, they took turns praying, confessing their sin, and expressing their desire for Jesus Christ to forgive them, wash them clean, and take over their lives. At the end of the prayer, something was different. They felt a newfound life and freedom, and a security in knowing that they now belonged to Jesus. And ever since that day, they boldly declare that they are “in Christ” and that they will be with Him in Heaven someday. Sharing the Gospel with children is a lot more than getting them to say a “sinner’s prayer.” At very young ages, they may not be able to fully grasp all the depths of the saving power of Christ. But they are capable of comprehending more than we typically give them credit for. It is vital that we don’t short-change them on the truths that will help them really understand the sacred covenant exchange they are making when their give their lives to Jesus. It took a little over two hours for us to truly walk through the Gospel with our children. This is because we took the time to walk through the seriousness of sin and the reality of hell, the amazing redemptive gift of salvation, and what it means to truly be “in Christ.”

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If you feel a little rusty in your own life in grasping the full reality of the Gospel, I encourage you to listen to the messages “In Christ,” and “The Carpet-Bag Gospel” available for download at www.ellerslie. com. Meditating on the powerful work of the Cross is a wonderful way to prepare your heart and mind to share this vital Truth with your children!

2) REMIND THEM OF THEIR POSITION IN CHRIST After walking our children through the Gospel, and joyfully watching them give their lives to Jesus, one of the most important principles we have had to continually remind them of is the concept of the “old man” and the “new man” (See Romans 6:8-13) As they are newly planted in Christ, our children need to learn the principle of reckoning themselves dead unto sin and alive unto righteousness. When we see a sinful behavior pattern surfacing in their lives, we will often ask them where “old Kipling” or “old Harper” is. And they will remember that their “old man” is dead and buried, and that they are now “new Kipling” or “new Harper” who is in Christ Jesus. In their new position “in Christ,” they have

the power to reckon themselves dead unto sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. It may sound like a complicated truth for preschoolers to grasp. But we have found that they truly do “get it.” They are very aware of the difference between their “old” and “new” man. The old man has no ability to overcome sin. But now that they are “new creations in Christ,” old things have passed away. Through Christ, they have been given the power to choose righteousness over sin. When we remind them of these truths often, we see an incredible difference in the way they live their lives. This certainly doesn’t mean we have perfect, sinless children. (Ha! Wouldn’t that be nice?!) But they are beginning to grasp the secret to living a godly life, and they are starting to understand the fact that sin no longer needs to control them. For instance, when my youngest son begins to whine and resist obeying, I appeal to his understanding of the Gospel. “Remember that you are ‘new Kipling,’” I will remind him. “You can ask Jesus for the grace to say ‘no’ to sin right now. You are in Christ, Kipling. Disobedience no longer needs to control you. If sin can’t get to Jesus, it doesn’t need to get to you!” Often, these words will motivate him to stop the downward spiral he’s on and ask

for the grace to behave like “new Kipling” who is “in Christ Jesus.” Frequently there is a marked difference in his attitude after taking the time to remind him of these truths. It’s truly a marvelous thing to watch God at work in his little soul. When you are working with your kid’s behavior issues, don’t stop short and rely only on discipline and character training principles. Incorporate the message of the Gospel, and frequently remind them of the covenant they have made with Jesus Christ. As they grow and develop, the victory and power of the Gospel will become an unshakable foundation in their lives.

3) HELP THEM CULTIVATE INTIMACY WITH CHRIST Our children won’t effectively learn the spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible study, and seeking God unless we model it for them, and provide opportunities for them to practice these things. Our older son has a quiet time each morning, in which he listens to the Word of Promise audio Bible through his headphones, while following along reading the same passage in his Bible. Both seeing and hearing Scripture

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CULTIVATE INTIMACY

at the same time helps him grasp it at a much deeper level. At breakfast, we like to spend a few minutes letting him share what he’s learning from the Word of God.

disobedient? Let’s think about how that makes Jesus feel. What should you to do to make things right in your relationship with Him?

With our younger kids, we are working on the basics of prayer. We model prayer for them, and then invite them to pray. Sometimes they just go through the motions. But other times, there is a genuine and heartfelt “casting their burdens” on the One who cares for them, and a precious demonstration of child-like faith in Him.

About a year ago, our youngest son was having trouble falling asleep at night because he was scared of bad dreams and of being alone in his room. Leaving the hall light on with the door cracked open only provided a small amount of comfort. I reminded him that Jesus was always with him, watching over him, and if something scary couldn’t hurt Jesus, then it couldn’t hurt him.

We try to start each day with prayer and discussions about spiritual truths, and end each day with worship and prayer. Whenever fears, behavioral issues, or conflicts arise, our goal is to point our kids back to their personal relationship with Jesus Christ and teach them to immediately turn to Him for anything and everything they need. Are they afraid? Let’s pray and ask Jesus to give you His peace and remind you that He is always with you. Are they angry? Let’s ask Jesus to change your heart right now so you can forgive your sister the way He forgave you. Did they do something sinful and

Kipling seemed comforted by this revelation, but he wanted some additional reinforcement. “Can you get me a picture of Jesus watching over me, so I can hang it up in my room?” he wanted to know. Since it was about nine p.m. and Eric was out of town, it was completely impossible for me to go out shopping for a Jesus picture. I told him to wait for a few minutes while I tried to find some kind of image online that I could print out. After a little bit of searching, I found the perfect picture - a beautiful image of Jesus comforting a small boy, who just happened to look almost exactly like Kipling!

...our goal is to point our kids back to their personal relationship with Jesus Christ...

SET APART I quickly printed it out and took it to his room. As soon as he saw it, a huge smile creased his face and he declared, “Yep, Jesus is watching over me all right!” Then he asked me to tape it on the window next to his bed. As soon as I did, he fell peacefully asleep. Children are usually very eager and ready to build a personal relationship with Christ. They respond to spiritual truths with a simple, uncomplicated faith. All we must do is take the opportunities that are in front of us each and every day, and continually point their hearts back to the One who loves them more than we ever will.

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If sharing the Gospel with your children and discipling them in the Christian life feels overwhelming, take some time to ask Jesus for specific guidance and grace. He will be faithful to show you exactly what to say, and when to say it. Remember, He cares more about your children’s souls even more than you do! And while you have been given the amazing privilege of leading your children to Christ, it is He Himself who must accomplish that amazing miracle within their soul. You are simply a vessel in His faithful hands.

A VESSEL IN HIS

FAITHFUL HANDS

O D KID

T O SPE STUFF

CULTUDY KIDS ARGE THE OIN D & G SAYIN

photos by MANDY SAELER

HUDSON, age 8

When he asked me to decorate our front yard for Thanksgiving with a huge inflatable turkey that he’d seen in a different neighborhood, I told him that such a decoration would probably be nixed by our neighborhood approval committee. He replied that he thought the committee would be crazy to forbid such a great-looking decoration, and promptly began to build his own outdoor Thanksgiving turkey, using a pumpkin, a large box, and some feathers cut out of construction paper. We didn’t have an inflatable turkey in our yard for Thanksgiving, but we did have Hudson’s own invention of an outdoor turkey display! (I’m not sure which is visually more acceptable to the neighbors.)

Harper, age 6

Her love language is if someone shows love and affection for her little dog, Gracie. This is kind of a problem for me, because I don’t really love dogs and I find it takes quite a bit of discipline to cuddle with them. However, when I come home after doing errands and attempt to greet Harper with a hug, she steps aside and says, “Hug Gracie first! She’s so excited to see you!” So in hugging Gracie, I’m actually hugging Harper. With Harper in the family, I’ll have to become a dog person one way or another.

KIP, age 5

He turned five years old in November! Can’t believe he’s getting so big. His big brother Hudson gave him a kid-sized guitar for his birthday, and for a few nights in a row, Kip called us to his room long after he’d been tucked in, announcing that he couldn’t sleep because he was too busy thinking about his guitar. He wrote several songs on this little guitar before the strings broke about three days after he got it. Though I would prefer to leave them broken, I don’t think we’ll hear the end of it until we get it fixed.

AVY, age 4

She told her teacher at school, “Can you please help me ‘organ’ my desk? It’s messy.” It hilarious how they butcher words at this age! She also invented her very first game (she takes after her older brother Hudson, who is an entrepreneur.) It was a matching game, in which you turn over numbers and try to find the match, kind of like Memory. I played the game with her and won, and my “prize” was a set of numbered flashcards that she made herself! I was duly impressed.

HIS MIND the MIND OF CHRIST in motherhood by HEATHER COFER

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...THE LORD HAD PLANS TO TEACH ME WHAT TRUE, SELFLESS LOVE IS TO LOOK LIKE.

From the very first moment my little son Jude was placed in my arms, my heart was filled with deep, maternal love for him. I had been waiting for that day for nine months, to meet the precious child God had blessed us with. I felt so ready to be a mom. I couldn’t wait to have a tiny person to love, train, care for, and cuddle. Yet, as I began the wonderful journey into motherhood, I began to realize the Lord had plans to use this child to teach me what true, selfless love is to look like. The last few weeks of pregnancy aren’t exactly conducive to restful, sound sleep. The week before Jude arrived, I was woken up throughout the night by contractions, wondering if “this could be it.” As the week wore on, I became increasingly weary. I hoped that my labor would begin in the morning and end in the evening so I wouldn’t miss a night of what little sleep I could procure, and would be as rested as possible to welcome my baby into the world. Well, my body had other plans. I went into labor at 11:00 pm, and Jude was born at 8:54 the next morning. Although I was exhausted, I couldn’t bring myself to take a nap that day. I was just too thrilled with my new son. “And,” I thought, “I’ll be able to sleep well tonight now that he is born...” Boy, was I ever mistaken! I knew that newborns didn’t sleep through the night, but somehow in all the excitement,

I had forgotten that detail. That night we got somewhere between 3-5 hours of sleep. The next day was the same routine; this continued for several weeks. I had never been so thoroughly fatigued in my life. That wasn’t the only thing that threw me for a loop; Jude, being a baby who much prefers to be held, would cry every time we put him down when he wasn’t sleeping. There were some days I couldn’t get dressed until the afternoon if at all, let alone do my hair or put on makeup. Regular eating times went out the window. I usually had to forfeit family game times and outings. I no longer had extended amounts of time on my own to read the Word and pray. I struggled against unexpected waves of self-pity and emotional meltdowns. I loved my new little child dearly, but just hadn’t realized how different life would become with an infant to care for. It was also incredibly humbling to realize I could no longer accomplish the most basic of tasks without the help of others. As my parents can attest, one of my favorite phrases from the time I began to talk was, “I do it.” Whether it was putting on my shoes or adding brown sugar to my oatmeal, I wanted to figure out how to do everything myself. Now, suddenly, I was very dependent upon others to do almost anything. During the course of those days, I began to realize there was a deep-seated selfishness

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that pervaded many areas of my life that I had never been aware of. I held on to my agenda of sleeping, eating, dressing, even when I read the Bible and prayed, with an iron-like grip. And suddenly, a little person enters into my life who is completely unaware of this routine. He has no idea that his little tummy demands food when mommy would normally be sleeping. He is oblivious to the fact that there is anything else for me to do besides hold him, feed him, change him, and comfort him. So, I had a choice to make. I could either give in to feelings of inadequacy and stress, or I could see this as an incredible opportunity to allow the Lord to teach me what it means to lay down my life daily to see another thrive. I remember one night, in the midst of pondering these things, waking up to the sound of Jude’s cries. As I picked him up, his wails began to subside and I heard the relief so clearly in his voice. In that moment, any feelings of exasperation over lack of sleep evaporated, and were replaced by feelings of joy and thankfulness for the gift of being the mother to this child. I had the privilege of being the one to wake in the night to comfort him, of waiting on my own meals so he could be fed, of making sure I met his most basic needs before I met my own. I began to understand Philippians 2:3-6 in a greater way;

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus. These verses are not optional for the Christian - they are of greatest importance. Living this way is the evidence of Christ’s life in us. I knew I couldn’t live this way on my own, but just as the passage says, this mind is mine in Christ Jesus. Not only has He given me everything I need to lay down my life for this child, but to care for him as Jesus would. Although life has changed dramatically with a little one, it has never been filled with so much delight. The Lord has used him as a powerful, precious tool of sanctification in my life. As I have taken Jesus at His word and counted Jude “more significant than [myself],” I have tasted the sweetness of extending unconditional, selfless love to another. I am gaining a greater understanding of Christ’s sacrifice on my behalf, laying down His life that I might live. As I keep my eyes focused upon Him, caring for Jude is only a joy, never a burden. As we choose to live in and by His empowering grace in every sphere, it truly is the most precious of lives!

LOVE I HAVE TASTED THE SWEETNESS OF EXTENDING UNCONDITIONAL, SELFLESS LOVE TO ANOTHER... AS I KEEP MY EYES FOCUSED ON HIM, CARING FOR JUDE IS ONLY A JOY, NEVER A BURDEN.

e f i L n o m m Co e h t f o R E SIST

MEET HEATHER Heather Cofer | AGE 21 HERO OF THE FAITH: BESIDES MY HUSBAND AND MY MOM, I WOULD HAVE TO SAY FRANCES HAVERGAL

FAVORITE VERSE: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” ISAIAH 26.3-4, ESV

Heather, can you tell us a little about your childhood and family? I just love my family! I am the second of 8 kids given to wonderful, godly parents. I was born in Canada (where my parents were living at the time), then moved to Colorado when I was 6 months old. Needless to say I have a lot of Coloradan in me. For many years my parents had had the desire to work with and minister to missionary children. In April of 1999, an opportunity opened up for my Dad to become the director of a missionary homeschool coop overseas. The following September, we packed up our belongings and moved to the rugged, chilly country of Mongolia. Although life there was completely different than here, I loved it from day one. Life in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia was fill with many adventures and obstacles, but through it all our family grew together as and greatly enjoyed that old Soviet city that became our beloved home for 12 years.

We packed up our belongings and moved to the rugged, chilly country of Mongolia....

Throughout the years we had the privilege of growing up with other missionary kids from all over the world, and this was also where I met my husband, Judah, when we were twelve. Needless to say, our relationship didn’t start at twelve, but from that point on our families became very close friends.

I desired to be counted among those who were truly following Christ not only in word, but with my whole life.

Q: How did you

come to know the Lord? There have been several prominent times of decision in my walk with the Lord. The first was at four years old. I clearly remember sitting on my bed one day after having done something wrong. My mom came in and talked with me about my sin and about Jesus’ sacrifice on my behalf. With what understanding I had © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

and great sincerity in my heart, I gave my life to the Lord. Though I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember, others have told me they saw a marked difference in my life from that point on. I was a stubborn, strong-willed little thing, and the Lord noticeably began to soften me and work in my life. When I was about ten I began to read my Bible regularly. As I hid the Word of God in my heart, I began to grow in my understanding of what it means to be a follower of Him. When I was 15 I recommitted my life to the Lord. I had begun to see the difference between those who say they are Christians and those who actually live it out. I desired to be counted among those who were truly following Christ - not only in word, but with my whole life. The most recent commitment and surrender to Christ actually happened during my basic semester at Ellerslie in Fall 2011. I realized there were so many areas of my life I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fully given over to Him and His work, and the Holy Sprit brought me to a fresh surrendering point. I needed to make a new declaration of soul, stating that I had counted the cost and was following Jesus to matter how difficult. It has been a thrilling journey as I increase in my comprehension of daily surrender to Christ, grow in repentance, and learn to listen and obey His Spirit.

...I had counted the cost and was following Jesus no matter how difficult it would be.

Q: Can you give us a bit of the background

of how you came to know about Ellerslie and setapartgirl?

My mom and I read Authentic Beauty together when I was 15, and this was very key in my decision to re-commit my life to Jesus. In the next few years we continued to read Leslie’s other books, and read The Bravehearted Gospel and When God Writes Your Life Story with my siblings. About the time I finished high school, the Lord began stirring in my heart a desire to encourage young women in their walk with the Lord, and using Leslie’s books, I began a study with some of the other missionary girls.

Shortly after Judah and I began our relationship, my parents gave him The Bravehearted Gospel for his birthday. We found the Ellerslie website through setapartgirl several months later. It hadn’t yet started, but Judah and I began praying about the possibility of attending. We had the opportunity to visit Ellerslie during the first semester, just a few days after our engagement, and we knew that was where the Lord wanted us to spend our first year of marriage. Fourteen months later we were married, and shortly after that found us beginning our precious season at Ellerslie. We’ve been here ever since!

Q: What is one of the biggest things the

Lord has taught you through the season of life you’re currently in?

One of the greatest things I have learned is just how sufficient the Lord’s grace is for every situation and circumstance. Sometimes it is tempting to become overwhelmed by all the tasks that are before me, whether it be writing an article or putting in a load of laundry. But as I rest in Him and confidently live in dependence upon Him, not only am I able to complete the tasks, but do them with utmost joy.

With your busy schedule - new baby, working with setapartgirl, running a home - what are some practical ways you’ve found to specifically nurture an ever-growing intimacy with Christ?

I have discovered more than ever during this season that every moment counts. Shortly after Jude was born, I realized that I didn’t have long periods

of time to set aside for prayer and study, and needed to take advantage of every moment I did have. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found that the best times to pray are while I am feeding my little one or during drives in the car. I often like to listen to the Bible when I am getting ready in the morning or fixing meals. I have been amazed at how many little moments during the day can be redeemed, and how precious they have been. The Lord has definitely used this season to teach me what it means to seek His face continually.

I have discovered more than ever during this season that EVERY moment counts...

A FEW OF HER FAVORITE THINGS Reading with my husband, Jude’s smile, almond milk lattés, gently-falling snow, Skype-ing with family, the book of Psalms, creativity, candles, hospitality

devotionals

GETTING TO THE HEART OF DEVOTIONALS FROM LESLIE LUDY + OUR SET APART GIRL TEAM

GET WEEKLY DEVOTIONALS TO ENCOURAGE YOU DOWN THE NARROW ROAD OF CHRIST-FILLED FEMININITY.

ÂŠ 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treatie reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, elect cluding photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy

SET APART

es. Any unauthorized tronic or mechanical, inand Set Apart Girl®.

the latest online: WHEN ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS BY LESLIE LUDY With many young children at home, I am finding more and more that my actions speak louder than words. While it’s vital that I give my children verbal instruction in godly behavior, it’s even more important in godly behavior, it’s even more important that they see that godly behavior lived out in front of them on a day-to-day basis. I cannot call them to a high standard in their little lives if that same standard is not being honored in my own life. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to teach them to not yell at their siblings if I myself was constantly losing my temper and yelling at them. It would be hard to teach them how to live a disciplined, orderly life if my own habits were continually sloppy.... READ MORE.

listen + read recommendations from our team

Heather Recommends Heaven, A World of Love by Jonathan Edwards

Growing up, I somehow developed a skewed image of heaven and what it will be like. This was most likely influenced by the way our culture likes to depict it, and nothing like the glorious, majestic picture we see painted of it in the Word of God. Upon reading this sermon, I began to see just how wrong my view had been, and how incredibly wonderful it will be to spend an eternity in the presence of our Savior. May this richly bless and encourage you, just as it did me!

FOR THE TRANSCRIPT, CLICK HERE

Lauren Recommends Enjoying Your Bible by Alan Redpath Lately the Lord has been revealing my need grow in the study of His Word, so I was both convicted and encouraged by this sermon! Alan Redpath’s impassioned words have pressed me to a deeper cherishing and study of the Bible. Whether you are already strong in this area or are seeking to establish consistency in this vital spiritual discipline, your heart will be freshly stirred to seek Him in His Word. As you listen, I pray that you will endeavor to treasure Jesus and His precious Word more than ever before!

FOR THE AUDIO, CLICK HERE

THOU HAST LOVED ME EVERLASTINGLY AND UNCHANGEABLY, MAY I LOVE THEE AS I AM LOVED. THOU HAST DIED FOR ME, MAY I LIVE TO THEE, IN EVERY MOMENT OF MY TIME, IN EVERY MOVEMENT OF MY MIND, IN EVERY PULSE OF MY HEART. - VALLEY OF VISION

inthenextissue: GREAT WOMEN IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY Leslie’s new series! LESSONS FROM THE MISSION FIELD, Set Apart Girls share their stories LIFE DECISION MAKING, from the set-apart girl team © 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.