November/December 2012 Issue

setapartgirl

LESLIE LUDY’S

MAGAZINE

Glorious Freedom living in daily victory, p. 10

A CLOSET WITHOUT CONFORMITY avoiding subtle compromise, p. 89

God-written love story

peek inside a modern-day

fairy tale, p. 28

MINDFUL PURITY a warrior-poet’s perspective, p. 42

Sister of the Common Life

MEET GERDA serving in Haiti, p. 76

LUDYS VISIT HAITI

photos of the twins! p. 110

NOV/DEC 2012

letter from leslie ludy BESTSELLING AUTHOR FOUNDER, setapartgirl

I love the practical side of the set-apart life.

It’s easy to mentally understand the principles of a life fully given to Jesus, but living it out on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis is what really counts. That’s why I’m thrilled about this new issue of setapartgirl – it’s brimming with practical insights on living according to God’s pattern in important areas like clothing, guy/girl relationships, and overcoming doubt and fear. And you’ll see some practical examples of set-apartness lived out by modern young women – like Lauren’s God-written love story on page 26 and Gerda’s beautiful sacrificial love for vulnerable children on page 76. Oh, and for a fun little bonus, check out page 110 for some adorable pictures of the two newest Ludy kids, soon to be adopted from Haiti!

During this holiday season, I pray that you will draw closer and closer to the One who gave everything to rescue you, and that His life, Truth, and love will permeate every practical dimension of your existence. May He have first place, not only in our minds and hearts, but also the day-to-day details of our lives. Truly, He is worthy!

Leslie

letter from the setapartgirl team Mandy, Tessa, & Lauren

The simple words of Psalm 123:1 seem to be a perfect enunciation of what the Lord has recently been stirring within our hearts: “Unto You I lift up my eyes, O You who dwell in the heavens.� Life has not slowed down, and inevitably, new responsibilities, challenges, opportunities, and unknowns have come to the surface in each of our lives. They stare us in the face, demanding a valiant response or brilliant solution, and it only takes a moment for us to be reminded of how incapable we are of rising up in our own strength, and looking them back in the eye, undaunted and ready to answer. And that is when we are faced with a choice: we can close our eyes tightly and cower with fear; or, we can turn our gaze heavenward, and behold the One who dwells in the heavens.

As the Lord faithfully beckons us to keep our eyes fixed upon Him, and Him alone, we are seeing in an ever-increasing measure that there is no thing or person upon which we would rather look. And it is our earnest desire, that He would continue to enable us with His grace to behold Him daily, hourly, and moment upon moment.

Dear sisters, may you catch a glimpse of His matchless power, to find courage for pressing on. May you look upon His sovereignty over creation, and find quiet rest for your souls. May you behold His fatherly smile, and be warmed by such infinite love. May you stare upon His blazing holiness, and bow in ardent worship. And as you dive into this new issue, may you gaze not upon the things of this world, others, or yourself, but Him who dwells in the heavens, our awesome and majestic God!

en Mandy, Tessa, & Laur

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inthisissue set apart femininity

Explore God’s Sacred Intent for Your Life

10 l Glorious Freedom: Overcoming Doubt, Depression, and Defeat 22 l No Boys Allowed

set apart relationships

Honoring God in Love and Romance

28 l Captivate Us: A Love Story in Pictures 42 l Mindful Purity

set apart walk

Cultivate Your Daily Romance with Christ

56 l Delighting In My Prince 68 l A Steadfast Soul

set apart style

Showcasing the Radiance of Christ

89 l A Closet Without Conformity

set apart motherhood

Discover God’s Heart for Home and Family

102 l Raising Little Heroes: Insitlling Honor in Your Children 116 l Kiddo Spot

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the New King James Version.

Copyright 2012 The Church at Ellerslie.

All rights reserved.

No material from this issue may be copied, reproduced, or distributed without express written permission from The Church at Ellerslie.

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102

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110 0 1

56 ineveryissue

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setapartgirl Playlist

52

Q & A with Leslie

76

Sister of the Common Life

101

Leslie’s Blog

120

Staff Book Recommendations

setapartgirl quote If any soul has any such beauty...Christ has endowed that beloved soul with all its wealth of charms, for in ourselves we are deformed and defiled!...There is no beauty in any of us but what our Lord has worked in us.

Charles Spurgeon

about leslie Leslie Ludy

FOUNDER, setapartgirl

Leslie Ludy is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for reaching her generation with the hope of Christ. She and her husband Eric have been writing and speaking together for the past seventeen years. Widely known for their bestselling classic, When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie have become foremost voices on some of the most poignant issues facing the Church today, such as relationships, purity, holiness, and living a fully consecrated life for Christ. Together, they are the authors of eighteen books that have been translated into over a dozen languages around the world. For more about Leslie’s books, click here. Leslie and Eric are the founders and directors of Ellerslie Leadership Training based in Windsor, Colorado - an intensive discipleship training program that prepares future leaders for wold-impacting Christian service, and draws men and women of all ages from around the world.

contributor Grace McConnaughey

Designer/Photographer | Colorado

Grace has been a part of the Ellerslie and setapartgirl worlds for quite some time, faithfully serving in many different ways. Her passion for and delight in Jesus Christ shines through in every task Grace takes on, and she does everything “heartily as unto the Lord and not unto men.” God has gifted Grace with an eye for beauty, a unique style, and an amazing talent for photography and design. Over the past few months, and especially since Annie’s departure to Haiti, Grace has come alongside of our team and offered up these gifts and talents to be used for the Lord’s glory in these past several issues of the magazine.

Our team would also like to offer sincere thanks to Christy Osborne for her beautiful design work. We treasure you and have been so blessed by your servant heart and the beauty you brought to this issue!

setapartgirl

PLAYLIST

Note: Ping has been discontinued, but all of these songs can still be found on iTunes!

Leslie’s PICK:I love the version of Holy, Holy, Holy by Steven Curtis Chapman on the Amazing Grace album. It is a powerful ushering into the presence of God and a fresh reminder of who He is!

TEAM

PICKS:

MARLENE: By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North ANNIE: Come to Me (feat. Jenn Johnson) by Bethel Music AMY: I Belong by Kathryn Scott AMELIA: It’s About the Cross by Go Fish MADISON: O Love That Will Not Let Me Go by Indelible Grace MANDY: Yours Forever by Darlene Zschech TESSA: My Master by Christy Nockels LAUREN: All My Fountains by Passion and Chris Tomlin

setapartgirl

presents

the ANNUAL GIRLS CONFERENCE with bestselling author LESLIE LUDY & other guest speakers

Consecration May 31-June 2, 2013

MADE STRONG TO BE POURED OUT

But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD hears when I call to him.

Psalm 4:3

JOIN US in Windsor, Colorado or host your own LIVE SIMULCAST! click here for more info

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Glorious

Freedom

OVERCOMING DOUBT, DEPRESSION, and DEFEAT

by Leslie Ludy Several years ago I read the autobiography of Hudson Taylor – the heroic missionary to China whom our son is named after. At the age of 17, Hudson was living a mediocre Christian life and continually being pulled toward sin. He could feel the call of God upon his soul, but he seemed unable to respond the way he desired to. Many nights were spent in despair, wondering if he would ever find real victory. Finally, he decided to pray. He went into his room, locked his door, fell upon his knees, and cried out to God from the depths of his being.

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believe it

“One of these days some simple soul will pick up the Book of God, read it and believe it.”

- Leonard Ravenhill And the King of the universe heard him.

He answered in a more powerful way than Hudson could ever have imagined. A few days later he wrote these words to his sister: Bless the Lord, O my soul!

And all that is within me shout His praise! Glory to God, my dear Amelia. Christ has said, ‘seek and ye shall find,’ and praise His name, He has revealed Himself to me in an overflowing manner. He has cleansed me from all sin, from all my idols. He has given me a new heart. Glory, glory, glory to His ever blessed Name! I cannot write for joy.

The freedom and triumph that God gave Hudson Taylor was not just a fleeting “mountaintop experience.” Rather, he was completely and radically set free – never

to look back. The rest of Hudson’s life was a glorious display of a supernaturally enabled existence. He sailed to a godless, hostile land, led countless thousands into the kingdom of God, and became the sole inspiration for an entire generation of Christians to “go into all the world and make disciples of all nations.” Though he lived 200 years ago, his legacy is still cherished and his example still followed by millions.

Stories like Hudson’s are extremely unusual in today’s world. Most modern Christians I have talked to have the opposite experience when it comes to seeking God. Instead of radically answered prayer, they get only silence from heaven. Instead of victory and triumph in their daily life – they get only defeat and discouragement.

And instead of a supernaturally enabled life that inspires millions, they struggle to even inspire their own friends and family members. I’ve even heard Christians say

that men like Hudson Taylor only come along once or twice in every generation – and that the rest of us shouldn’t expect anything so grand or glorious in our walk with God. But once upon a time, the Christian life meant something different than a blasé daily struggle. In the “olden days,” stories like Hudson Taylor’s weren’t quite so rare.

Following Christ actually meant exceeding joy, peace that passes all understanding, and power to trounce upon our enemies.

Just look at the lyrics of some of the old hymns:

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth – Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide…strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine with ten thousand beside. Great is Thy Faithfulness Lord unto me!

Jesus is my portion; my constant Friend is He; His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me…Let not your heart be troubled, His tender

words I hear, and resting on His goodness, I lose my doubt and fear – I draw Him closer to me, from care He sets me free; His eyes is on the sparrow and I know He watches me – I sing because I’m happy; I sing because I’m free…

He speaks and the sound of His voice is so sweet that the birds hush their singing, and the melody that He gave to me, within my heart is ringing – and He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own; and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

Blessed assurance – Jesus is mine, O what a foretaste of glory divine; heir of salvation, purchase of God, born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Perfect submission, all is at rest, I in my Savior am happy and blessed; watching and waiting, looking above, filled with His goodness, lost in His love – this is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long.

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femininity A mighty fortress is our God; a bulwark never failing – our helper He amid the flood, of mortal ills prevailing…

And though this world with devils filled should threaten to undo us – we will not fear for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us…

Rejoice, rejoice O Christian; lift up your voice and sing, eternal hallelujahs to Jesus Christ the King! The Hope of all who seek Him, the Help of all who find, none other is so loving, so good and kind…

But we don’t often sing songs like these anymore, because their messages just don’t ring true in our lives. Most of us would feel like hypocrites (or idiots) if we actually stood up in church with a huge smile on our face and proclaimed, “I sing because I’m happy! I sing because I’m free! His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me!”

A church in our local area is fond of using songs by Creed and U2 in their worship service, because “our people can relate so much better to the lyrics.” One of their favorites is the U2 hit I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. Those words seem to sum up what nearly every modern

Christian feels in regard to their walk with God. It’s no wonder that that particular church is one of the largest in the state.

A long-time missionary recently told me, “We sell people a bill of goods when we tell them that Jesus is the answer to all their problems. The reality is that they are still going to have lots of struggles, even after they come to Christ, so we shouldn’t paint Christianity up to be some amazing experience.”

Today’s Christian bookstores are loaded with books like Disappointment with God, When God Doesn’t Make Sense, and Deserted by God?. Modern Christian leaders spend an inordinate amount of time trying to help us “cope” with the disappointment, disillusionment, and depression that seems to go hand in glove with following Christ these days.

“I sing because I’m happy! I sing because I’m free! His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me!”

i’m free

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femininity Why would we even want to follow Christ if that dismal picture is what we have to look forward to? For that matter, why would we even get out of bed in the morning?

As young women, do we need a dose of “realistic” hope for the days ahead, as so many modern voices prescribe? Or do we need to understand the spectacular, extraordinary, mind-boggling hope that Christ brings?

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). Abundantly means “beyond measure, over and above all that we could ask or think.” Not day to day surviving, but day to day thriving.

Paul reminds us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Eph. 3:20-21).

So why are our expectations of Him so dismally low? Why does the God of the Bible not seem to be the same as the God of our own experience?

There are a slew of popular Christian books and messages that have recently emerged onto the scene with the intent of shedding light upon that very question. Some say it is because we have over-stretched the promises of the Bible and expected too much of God. Others say we have leaned too heavily upon the Bible as the absolute, literal Truth; and that Scripture is merely a collection of human-concocted stories that should be loosely interpreted through the lens of our changing culture.

So why are our expectations of Him so dismally low?

our expectatio

But I would like to offer a different answer to the question that burns upon our generation’s disillusioned heart. I believe with every ounce of conviction I possess that the Bible means exactly what it says, and that we cannot even comprehend how enormous our God is or how much He desires to do in and through our lives.

As it says in 1 Corinthians 2:9, “...Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things

that God has prepared for those who love Him.” Our problem is not that we expect too much of God, but that we expect far too little of Him. Just look at this brief sampling of the many great and precious promises of our Lord:

He will supernaturally protect us from harm:

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“You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you look, and see the reward of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; for He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone” (Psalm 91:5-12).

He will save us, heal us, rescue us from destruction, and fill us with good things: “Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (Psalm 103:1-5).

He will not withhold any good thing from us:

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD will give grace and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in You” (Psalm 84:11-12)!

He will give us supernatural strength and power: “He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.

Even the youths shall faint

and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Is. 40:29-31).

He will keep us in perfect peace as we look to Him: “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Is. 26:3).

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He will do even beyond what we ask or think:

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Eph. 3:20-21).

He will give us victory over sin: “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

For what the law could not do in that it was weak through

the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Rom. 8:2-6).

He will give us power over the enemy:

“...Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

He will stand against all who stand against us:

“‘No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD and their righteousness is from Me,’ says the LORD” (Is. 54:17).

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femininity There are only two ways to respond to God’s extreme and abundant promises. We can explain them away, as many theologians and modern writers have done, and live as if they do not apply to our daily momentby-moment life. Or we can actually believe them and build our life around them.

Leonard Ravenhill said: We have adopted the convenient theory that the Bible is a Book to be explained, whereas first and foremost it is a Book to be believed (and after that to be obeyed).

In our book, When God Writes Your Life Story, Eric writes about endless frontier of God’s kingdom. Instead of taking one or two steps forward with Christ and then stopping and pitching our tent, we are called to be spiritual pioneers, continually exploring the fathomless depths of the fullness of Christ. No matter what we know about Jesus now, there is always more to be discovered and experienced. In fact, even eternity won’t be long enough to fully grasp His insurmountable glory and brilliance. T. Austin Sparks said it well: The mark of a life governed by the Holy Spirit is that such a life is continually and ever more and more occupied with Christ, that Christ is becoming greater and greater as time goes on. Oh the depths, the fullness of Christ! If we live as long

promises of

f God

as ever man lived, we shall still be only on the fringe of this vast fullness that Christ is.

He is waiting to offer you victory, triumph, and glorious freedom from all sin, self-pity, defeat, fear, and doubt.

If you are feeling defeated in any area of your life, I exhort you to press deeper into Jesus than ever before. He is waiting to offer you victory, triumph, and glorious freedom from all sin, self-pity, defeat, fear, and doubt. Don’t just read the Word of God; really immerse yourself in its truth, and take every word for what it is – unchanging, unwavering, eternal FACT. Meditate upon the promises of God. Ask Him for the grace to take them as your own. Allow Him to give you a clear vision of the joy-filled, triumphant life He has called you to. This doesn’t mean that our lives will be easy. In fact, God says that those who desire to be godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution (see 2 Tim. 3:12).

But whether we are in a prison cell or on a mountaintop, we can experience peace that passes understanding, the fullness of joy, and a life unhampered by sin and defeat. With God, ALL things are possible!

A

No Boys

Allowed

by Amy Meyers

In the dressing room of an upscale women’s clothing outlet, you would expect to find mirrors, a few random hangers, and a rack of “rejects” – but you would certainly never consider encountering a man in such a situation. After browsing around on a recent shopping trip with one of my best girl friends, I decided to try a few things on. Upon entering the dressing

room, the two of us passed a young man sitting cross-legged in the doorway, playing with his phone – he was obviously waiting for someone. A few minutes later, as I was discussing the pros and cons of a particular top with my friend, the woman in the dressing room beside mine called out for the young man. Without a second thought, the man pocketed his

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femininity phone and slipped in through the partially opened door – actually joining his female friend inside the little room! My friend and I exchanged astonished glances at this incredible lack of propriety. It wasn’t as if this guy was trying to force his way into the private quarters of the young lady, but it was she who had requested his presence in the room with her, not to mention on the shopping trip.

Sadly, this absurd scene did not end there.

The young lady proceeded to describe in very great detail where and how the articles of clothing she was trying on were snug or ill-fitting. Her male friend made his suggestions and comments, and then I

could hear her changing into another outfit (her guy friend remaining in the room) and request his help to zip up the ensemble.

My friend and I were totally distracted from the task at hand, absolutely bewildered by what was taking place in the next little cubicle; but no one else in the dressing room even seemed to notice. Rather than being viewed as bizarre or inappropriate, such behavior has become the norm in our casual, “anything goes” society.

As His daughters, we are all called to this kind of discretion...

...it is a plan set in motion

by God Himself...

Back in the days of gallant gentlemen and elegant ladies, there was a very clear distinction between men and women.

It was a common understanding that there were certain belongings, places, and topics pertaining to the life of young women in which men simply should not be involved. But somehow the lines have become blurred in our modern times, and the partition that once distinguished the sexes has been lowered, and in some cases, torn down altogether.

In Jane Austen’s books, there was always that one ridiculous character who was completely void of any sense of decorum and inevitably ended up mentioning something totally taboo or behaving in an unseemly manner at the most inconvenient moments. The true ladies in the room found their cheeks warm by simply hearing such lack of guardedness over the inner life. Women were ignorant of the intimate details of men’s lives, and likewise, men were utterly in the dark about what women did when they weren’t around. This is precisely what makes Jane Austen novels so delightful – the propriety, the dignity, and the overall mystery in the lives of the characters.

This pattern did not stem from the social mandates of the Regency era; rather it is a plan set in motion by God Himself –

the way He intended men and women to interact. In Titus chapter two, the “aged women” are instructed in what they are to teach the younger women in their midst: “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:5). As His daughters, we are all called to this kind of discretion, not simply guarding our hearts, mindful of how much we share emotionally, but ever watchful of what practical things we reveal to others – especially members of the opposite sex.

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femininity It may seem harmless to discuss your clothing size, debate which brand of mascara really creates the fullest lash line, or empty the entire contents of your purse in mixed company, but these simple acts open the door of our private life, and invite guys into a more intimate knowing of us than they were intended to have. We were not meant to have everything in common with our dads, brothers, and guy friends; thusly, they do not need (and probably do not really even want) to be aware of all the ins and outs of our morning routines, personal care regimens, and daily schedules. If God had wanted all of us to be identical, He certainly could have made us that way, but He chose to create men and women to be uniquely and distinctly different.

Mr. Brooke, a somewhat uptight, but very prudent character in the beloved novel Little Women, gave this pearl of wisdom to his young charge, Laurie, when he was curious about the daily lives of the four young women living next door: “Over the mysteries of female life there is drawn a veil best left undisturbed.”

Truer words have rarely been spoken on the matter. Surely we do not want men to displace this matchless drape, but by the same token, we must be cautious and alert to our own actions, ensuring that we are not moving it ourselves.

Surrounded by society’s popular pattern of divulging everything to everyone, it is easy to slip into a similar mode, adopting the “my life is an open book” attitude. However, as daughters of the King, we are called to a different standard – God’s model – which is one of concealing rather than revealing.

...He chose to create men and women to be uniquely and distinctly different.

As with all other aspects of life, we certainly do not want to be arrogant or coy with the men in our lives, and taunt them with what we are not sharing. But it is absolutely essential for us, as young women, to protect what ought to be held close. If every single detail of life is always out in the open for anyone to view as they please, the sparkle of the sacred is diminished and there is nothing left to discover.

Purposefully holding things back and guarding our inner lives is a beautiful opportunity to honor our future spouses, saving for them what was meant only for them. But even more than that, it is a very clear expression of our deep love and reverence for the One who created this grand and beautiful design.

*

...we are called to a different standard...

CAPTIVATE US a love story in pictures Photography and story shared by Lauren Torres, setapartgirl team

On January 23, 2012, a lett e r arrived from C h

icago.

I was expecting it .

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my Dad afternoon, my dad ay rd tu Sa iet qu a on r rlie eks ea You see, just a couple we Elijah Robertson ed m na an m A . ws ne ing er excit called to tell me some rath t with the intention of ar he y m n wi d an ue rs pu g to had sought my dad’s blessin if I was “in favor” of g kin as w no s wa d an g blessin marriage. My dad gave his t. this man pursuing my hear

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!" re su r o "F , d i sa I , n o ti a Without hesit

ly prepare our hearts for iet qu to n gu be d ha rd Lo ar, the Throughout the previous ye this quiet season, we had g rin Du e. tim e th at it ow dn’t kn one another, though we ha r friendship. So, when my ou r fo e sir de s d’ Go t ou ing ab both been individually pray ll was clear. dad called that day, His wi

r years. He had always fo ds en fri en be ve ha s ilie Our fam I knew this man very well. uth and encourage me Tr k ea sp to ick qu e, m to r r brothe been a good friend and olde a man whole-heartedly in be to en ov pr lly fu ith fa d he ha in the Lord. Over the years, y, and genuine passion rit eg int r, no ho th wi d ke ar a life m pursuit of Jesus, and lived God’s perfect timing, in In . life S HI d ce en id ev ly life pure for Christ. Simply, Elijah’s w becoming something no s wa d en fri d ol an e, ib prescr a way that only God can much more. r most of that time I fo s, ar ye y an m r fo r he ot own each However, though we had kn Ellerslie, and it was at on as se a r fo ay aw e ol the Lord. I st was not truly walking with Himself. As Christ to e m ing on ck be rd Lo e onded to th during that time that I resp n awakening my and ga be rd Lo e th e, sir De e my Suprem became my First Love and her.

Elijah’s hearts to one anot the source of his budding ed at st y pl sim he d, da y m e to In the letter that Elijah wrot with such love for her dy la g un yo a en se r ve ne affections for me: “I have l way. I found my heart rfu de on w a in s ou al je e em Savior; a love that mad being drawn to her...” n Elijah’s heart, but the wi to n tio ula ip an m n ow of my Simply put, it was nothing Jesus in one another. w sa we as er th ge to us drawing faithful working of the Spirit

rtunity to win my heart, his po op e th d te es qu re h ija El me Back to the letter. While r relationship was what ca ou e fin de to m Hi r fo e sir love love for Jesus and his de ose heart-cry was “More wh an m a be to him ew ion through most of all. I kn in knowing that his affect rt fo m co t ea gr d un fo I to Thee, O Christ!� and ever feel for me. I was so uld wo he g hin yt an an th r th for Jesus was far greate o a deeper relationship wi int g rin te en be to ed cit ex , incredibly humbled and e beauty of this new season th ld fo un to ed inu nt co rd this godly man! As the Lo stworthy He is in all things. tru w ho t jus of n tio za ali re He brought me to a fresh aching for more of Him. d an ss ne od go s Hi in ng My heart was left rejoici joyful willingness to begin y m g sin es pr ex , ck ba h ija A few days later, I wrote El s. walking together after Jesu

" t! s ri h C O , e e h T to ve lo "More

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relationships t and quiet delight as ee sw a ch su th wi ed fill re The following months we er. In his first letter ep de e m ca be d ha dy ea alr the beautiful friendship we e uncharted waters es th to in ly ld bo e ov m us to me, Elijah wrote, “Let us for the jour ney, fit , ts ar he r ou ite un ill w because it is Christ who wonderful to watch ly tru s wa It � y! or gl s Hi r fo and navigate the course lf. From the beginning se m Hi of uit rs pu r te ea gr a in the Lord uniting our hearts would continue to be es ey r ou at th en be s ha er of our relationship, our pray d refocus our gaze on an s cu fo to l fu ith fa en be s fixed upon Jesus, and He ha of a relationship never er nt ce e th in e ac pl l fu ht rig Him. Keeping Jesus at His mer that is otherwise im sh ly en av he a ds ad t diminishes the romance bu impossible to attain.

ut b t, n e m o m e n o r e av w to t o n e We ar e ac f us o ri lo g s i H n i d e x i f keep our eyes n ca st e b d an e n o al e H at ... I believe th unite our hearts together.

- from E lijah's letters

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relationships me by coming to ed ris rp su y el et pl m co h On June 2, 2012, Elija sitation, I said “yes” he t ou ith W . m hi ry ar m to Colorado and asking me rsuing and winning pu lly fu ith fa so en be d ha to the the dear man who elming sense of the wh er ov an by d ke ar m e on s my heart. The proposal wa oration of our King. ad in d ite un er rth fu re we arts Lord’s presence as our he

champion Elijah’s to e m g hin ac te en be s ha , the Lord Throughout our relationship Truth, and to love th wi him e ag ur co en to , in prayer leadership, to cover him , vulnerability must ow gr to y ac im int r fo r de or ed that in without condition. I’ve learn ar of judgement or fe of t ou e hid to g hin et m are not so grow as well. Weaknesses still growing, he has am I ich wh in s ea ar e th e to know criticism. As Elijah has com sus, and expect a Je to e m int po e, ac gr ve gi prayer, been able to support me in ! e of doing the same for him leg ivi pr e th ve ha I y. or st victory ely young girl, and then ultimat a as of ed m ea dr d an r fo .

The romance that I longed crafted by His loving hand d an n ve gi en be w no s ha is surrendered to the Lord, d it’s because the beauty an , ed m ea dr ve ha uld co It’s more beautiful than I d His splendor being seen an – s su Je is ty au be e Th “other-than” Elijah and me. and divine purpose. e tru it s ve gi hip ns io lat re through our is is a story penned by Th . ce an m ro s te ra leb ce y pl Our story is not one that sim two people seeking of y or st a is It s. su Je ly r love the hand of our altogethe nd, for His pleasure, ha s Hi by er th ge to t ough hard after their King, br r wedding day in June ou to d ar rw fo ok lo tly ea gr I and purpose, and glory. Elijah y...looking to Jesus. da to er th ge to lk wa to t en cont 2013, but we are glad and

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“Let us move boldly into these uncharted waters because it is C hrist who will unite our hearts, fit us for the journey, and navigate the course for His glory!�

- from E lijah's letters

^ take it deeper

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Purit y

Mindful

by an anonymous warrior-poet-in-the-making

A few years back I made an incredible discovery: the King James version of the Bible. Yeah, I know it has been around for a while, but I used to think of it as a little stiff and a lot archaic; a little too much starch in the collar, and too many shades of drab gray! As I began to turn to it as my primary version of study, I was exhilarated with its beauty, cleverness, eloquence, color, contrast, and the mastery of language it exhibited. It appropriately uses the most

majestic words possible, because it is, in fact, the very Word of God, and it deserves the highest language we can offer.

Now, this is not an article trying to sell a particular version of the Bible. As long as you are studying a word-for-word translation, I am a happy camper. The reason I bring it up is because the KJV uses some really clever phrases. We would never dream of using them in everyday english,

A Warrior-Poet speaks up

God CHANGES

but they are incredible, truth-filled word pictures. I want to focus on one phrase in particular: “Gird up the loins of your mind.”

See? Isn’t the King James awesome?

Okay, I might be the only one excited about this phrase. However, I bet you will be too by the end of this, because it is so inspiring! The full context of the phrase is from 1 Peter 1:13: “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (KJV).

Here is why I find this so fascinating and powerful: the human mind, left to its own cravings, invents all sorts of deviant, disgusting thoughts. In both men and women, an unbridled mind can explore the slimy depths of human depravity, ranging from lust to fear, from seething hatred to self-aggrandizing fantasies. All of it is gross, wrong, and wicked. Yet Peter commands believers to gird up the loins of their minds. Why? If we let the flesh run rampant within a man or woman’s life, all sorts of twisting and perversion ensues. The fact is, we pop

your life!

out of the womb forced into conformity to the world’s pattern. Then, as we grow, we willingly embrace this helter-skelter race to destruction. It is why girls run to any guy who will offer them security and so-called love. It is why guys go on the prowl for whatever they can get out of any woman around.

This is you and this is me, without Jesus.

However, when God grips a man or a woman, there is an absolute transformation of soul, mind, and habits. I am going to make a bold statement: God changes your life! Whoa, novel thought, I know!

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relationships He works so mightily that your mind is no longer allowed to “roam free;” it is instead “girded up!” It is as if there is a “belt” wrapped around the straying threads of meandering thoughts. No longer is the mind permitted to go off-roading; rather, like a train, it remains fixed to the rails of the track. A mind ruled by the Spirit of God is guided by the perfectly straight, honorable, and pure railway of the Word of truth, love, and virtue.

I have a friend who calls the typical guy’s mind a “tentacular brain.” Imagine octopus tentacles reaching out of the mind and grabbing onto any little fantasy or deviant thought; that is a mind ruled by the fleshly lusts of this world. However, when the mind and thought processes of a man are yielded to the Spirit of God, it is like a mighty belt comes along, wraps up every tentacle, and shoves them back into the

...When God posesses a man, that man’s mind is then harnessed by the almighty Spirit of God.

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relationships proper cranial place! By the way, this is not just some idyllic dream – this is the reality of my mind and the minds of other warrior-poets!

Ladies, even though most guys’ minds are ruled by deviant cravings, you can have hope that there is a drastically different sort of man out there.

Nevertheless, your hope is not that there are warriorpoets out there who have enough mental fortitude to not think lustful thoughts; your hope is in the fact that when God possesses a man, that man’s mind is then harnessed by the almighty Spirit of God. Thus, if you were to take a peek into a warrior-poet’s mind, he would never have need to blush. He lives without shame, for he walks with the understanding that, as Paul says, he has the mind of Christ (see Phil. 2:5).

Christ’s mind is not ruled by perversion; it is holy, harmless, thoughtful, kind, considerate, and loving.

The world’s pattern for masculinity and womanhood is rather – ahem – unsavory. And to explain what I mean by “unsavory,” I turn to the thesaurus, which offers these synonyms: unappealing, repugnant, unattractive, disgusting, revolting, nauseating, sickening, vile, unpleasant, undesirable, disagreeable, nasty, immoral, dishonorable, unprincipled, unscrupulous, and villainous. Hopefully, that makes it clear how I feel in regards to the twisting of our God-given masculinity or femininity. Yes, a man ruled by natural cravings is despicable. A man, in and of himself, will certainly degenerate into crudity, perverseness, and thoughts sullied with wickedness! However, when a man yields himself unto God, there is an absolute transformation within his life. He is not the same; in fact, he has to

“For the glory of my King, it will not be so in my mind.”

through clenched teeth of determination he says, “For the glory of my King, it will not be so in my mind, and I will fight to set other men free from this lechery.” Such a man is certainly an awesome thing to behold. It may be rare, but it does exist.

A warrior-poet refuses to be subjugated or debased, even by his own mind. Where other men enjoy free reign of mental wanderings, a man of God sees a deviant thought as a foe to be vanquished, not a friend to be cherished. He knows that welcoming such a guest into the home of his mind is like inviting a venomous cobra to dinner.

...an appeal on behalf of warrior-poets everywhere... be different! Not only that, but he actually wants to be different; and he fights, bites, scrapes, and claws to yield to the full alteration process of the Holy Spirit. He refuses to settle for “normal.”

Furthermore, when such a man sees all-too-typical masculine deviancy, it is revolting to him. His fist balls up and

However, here is the problem ladies, and here is where I must make an appeal on behalf of warrior-poets everywhere: could you frame your physique to draw attention to your face and not your form? Would you please adorn yourself in such a way that draws our eyes to heaven? Would you speak to us with courtesy and not flirtation?

Would you remain a “garden enclosed,” and refrain from making yourself open and vulnerable to every guy that comes along?

I know there is a panic that you’ll never catch a guy’s eye, and Prince Charming will never notice that you, Sleeping Beauty, have been patiently waiting for him for, like, a long time! You do not need to “catch” us with your feminine craft or charm; trust that at the perfect time God

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relationships will awaken the man He has built for you, as He did with Adam, when the bride was fully prepared. Warrior-poets are called to serve the advancement of the kingdom of God within your life, and if you make yourself something he has to guard himself against (i.e. seductive clothing, tones of voice, turns of phrases, looks of the eyes), then you actually hinder the service he

..trust that at the perfect time God will awaken the man He has built for you.

can do for you. A warrior-poet does not heed or desire the adulterous woman described in Proverbs 7; so, very simply, do not be her! We want to protect you with even the thoughts we think about you; thus, the best thing you can do is pattern yourself after the mold Scripture presents.

Finally, in discussing the issue of modesty

We want to protect you with even the thoughts we think about you; thus, the best thing you can do is pattern yourself after the mold Scripture presents.

and mental purity, I want to make one final point. Who is responsible for both issues?

Men. A man of God’s mind must be ruled by the strictest purity no matter what sort of women surround him. However, he will always champion the virtue of modest meekness in the women around him.

Female immodesty is a shameless plague in our culture as a direct result of masculine deviancy in the mind. It is because men are ruled by mental perversion that women feel compelled to throw off restraint and disregard the command for a meek and quiet spirit. Nevertheless, dear sisters, whether or not there be one warrior-poet

whose mind is the tool of heavenly purity, you are not released from the command to be adorned by the Christ life within and without. Take heart, though – there are such warrior-poets out there, and their minds are a pinnacle of purity, a habitation of honor, and a furnace of divine affection. Their minds are girded up and are leveraged as a mighty tool of love; for they obey the greatest command – which all believers are compelled to obey – of loving God supremely with all the heart, soul, mind, and strength. And a true warrior-poet always obeys the commands of his mighty King and liege Lord!

*

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Q & A

with a set-apart girl

NOTE FROM LESLIE: I normally interject my own answers in this Q&A section.

However, I thought you would be encouraged to hear some answers from other setapart young women. The following is a question that came into our ministry and was beautifully answered by a set-apart young woman here at Ellerslie named Lydia. I hope you will be blessed and encouraged by what she shared.

Q: A:

Q&A I feel like I’m at a point where I want nothing to steal my affections for Jesus, and if anything was, I would cut it off ASAP. That being said, there’s a young man at my church with whom I’ve started to build a friendship, and I’m getting the feeling that he’s interested in me, and is maybe considering furthering our friendship. Oddly enough, this terrifies me!

He’s a great man of God, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m called to singleness, because I don’t ever want my affection for Christ to be divided. I guess my question is, am I looking at this the right way? And is it okay for me to be so protective?

First, what a beautiful work the Lord has done in your life that you would boldly proclaim your fulfillment and affection for the Lord Jesus Christ. Your fulfillment in Christ is vivid because of your concern that a relationship, specifically with this man, may divide your affection for your First Love. I encourage you to never let go of this concern, and continually check every aspect of your life, allowing nothing to take away from your sole focus and reason for living: the glory and renown of One, Jesus Christ. Colossians 3:3-4 says, “For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God...who is our life...” (KJV). He is your life!

With this being said, I completely understand your question and confusion about how to protect your affection for Christ while allowing a man to come into your life and heart. The problem is that what we see all around us is a twisted, self-centered picture of marriage. The majority of romantic relationships and marriages, even in Christian circles, are made up of couples who are completely caught up in each other, and girls who seek

Q&A A marriageable, godly man is to be a reflection of Christ, directing you to the Perfect Man and not to himself in any way. fulfillment from their special guy. These relationships are not biblically founded and centered on Christ, but rather they are all about self-fulfillment and fleshly desires. The union of a man and woman who are focused on Christ and satisfied in Him brings no attention to their affection for each other but the glory of God. It says in Romans 15:6, “That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” This is the purpose of every Christian and every aspect of our life, including relationships and marriage. Our understanding of marriage needs to be refined according to this pattern, in that it’s not about self’s desires and pleasure, but rather the glory of God made manifest in marriage.

A man of God must have a chief end of glorifying God. If Christ is his All in all and his affections are for Christ, as yours are, he will only deepen your relationship with the Lord. If he is a man harnessed by the Holy Spirit and grounded in truth, he will not divide your affections but point you even more to Jesus. A marriageable, godly man is to be a reflection of Christ, directing you to the Perfect Man and not to himself in any way.

In her book Answering the Guy Questions, Leslie Ludy says, “I vividly remember falling in love with Jesus Christ and basking in the beauty of a romance with Him – a romance that was enhanced, not diminished, by my love story with Eric.” This is the result of a romance with a man who is also in love with and fully satisfied in Jesus Christ.

So yes, absolutely be protective of your affections for Christ. Don’t let

anything or anybody pull you away from knowing Him and growing in the knowledge of God. But this doesn’t necessarily mean a life of singleness. Be protective by only entering into a relationship with a man whose life is hidden in Christ. The man who captures your heart should ultimately capture you with the outflow of Jesus in his life.

If you are at the point of deciding whether to enter into this relationship, remember that the most essential part of any decision like this is prayer.

Don’t make a decision through your strength, knowledge, experience, and emotions, but by seeking the Lord. As you press into the Lord through prayer, and surrender each step to Him, He will guide you. Rest in Him and allow Him to refine your life. There is no greater delight and joy than allowing Him to lead in every area. God, the most high and holy God, created you and knows exactly what you need in the perfect time.

Oh, sister, as Proverbs 31:30 says “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (KJV). Your fear and reverence of the Lord is all that a man of God will praise and seek in a wife. So continue to set your eyes on Jesus, be fulfilled in Him who is our All in all, and only allow a man to enter into your life if he will press you deeper into Christ. * “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”

Proverbs 31:30 (KJV)

Delighting

in myPrince adapted from Authentic Beauty

by Leslie Ludy

“Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.�

Psalm 37.4

S

omeone once told me that I could determine the primary focus of my life by where my thoughts went each night as I lay in bed, drifting off to sleep. I tried this little experiment when I was first trying to cultivate deeper intimacy with Christ. I was spending focused time with Him each day. Surely, I reasoned, the primary focus of my life is my relationship with God. But when I began to pay attention to what island of thought my mind drifted away to each night, I was startled to realize that very seldom did I dwell on God. Usually, I started obsessing over relationships – thinking about different guys in my life, wondering if any of them could be “the one” for me, and trying to determine what they thought of me. Sometimes I thought about my future, worrying about where to go or what to do next with my life. Often I evaluated my appearance, personality, and social abilities, brainstorming ways I could change so that everyone would like me more. And other times I tossed and turned as I made mental checklists of all my undone tasks for work or school.

I realized that in spite of the fact that I had developed a daily relationship with Christ, He was not the one who consumed my heart and mind every moment of the day.

...in spite of the fact that I had developed a daily relationship with Christ, He was not the one who consumed my heart and mind every moment of the day.

If a husband and wife created a beautiful haven of romance by cleaning and polishing their bedroom, setting the mood with flowers and candles, and jealously guarding their privacy, but never actually entered the sanctuary to spend time together, it would be a waste of time and effort. The same is true with our own inner sanctuary – it has been created so that we might truly delight in our Prince, experiencing unhindered, tender intimacy with Him. When I began to pursue a lifestyle of delighting in the Lord, I wasn’t entirely sure how to accomplish this in a practical way.

It was so easy to delight in Him during my time of prayer, Bible study, and journaling, but throughout the rest of my day it was all too easy to become distracted and selffocused. I didn’t see many examples of

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people who joyfully lived each moment for Him alone. It was around that time that I met Eric’s sister, Krissy. It didn’t take me long to notice that her joyful glow and amazing servant’s heart flowed directly from her intimate, passionate, momentby-moment relationship with Jesus Christ.

When she sang during worship services, her eyes were closed and a huge, childlike smile of delight creased her entire face. She did not see the other worshipers, she did not notice the band, and she was unaware of her surroundings. She saw only Him. When she prayed, she poured out her heart

to her Lord with trembling and tears and passion, totally unconscious of anyone else. When she spoke of her Prince, her eyes glowed with tender adoration and unashamed love. Her fervent joy seemed consistent every single hour of the day.

After spending more time observing her, I began to notice that her communication with God was not merely limited to her morning quiet times; rather she interacted with Him all day long, no matter what she was doing.

Faithfully and gently, God’s Spirit began

to show me how to walk through the day with Him rather than just walking through the day representing Him. I learned to inwardly talk to Him throughout the day – as I drove to work, as I interacted with the world around me, and as I drifted off to sleep at night. And I learned to inwardly listen to His soft voice, tuning my heart to hear Him throughout the day. From that point on, my daily adventure began.

I was amazed at how exciting every day could be, even if I was simply going about a monotonous routine. When I learned how to continually communicate with my Prince, I truly learned how to live. I finally understood where true confidence flows from – the incredible delight of knowing that the most heroic, gallant, powerful Lord who ever existed walks lovingly beside me every moment of the day.

Practical Steps for delighting in our PRINCE : Here are some soul-searching questions to ask yourself: Am I wholeheartedly aware, on a moment-by-moment basis, of the continual presence of my Prince?

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Am I able to speak to Him and listen to His voice no matter where I am or what I am doing?

Getting to the place of delighting in Him throughout the day takes focused effort.

We live in a culture that specializes in creating one distraction after another for our minds and hearts. There are a few significant decisions I personally made that helped me create a new approach to daily living. I would like to share them with you, in the hopes that they will benefit you as well:

Developing A Quiet Mind

When her ministry was at its peak, Amy Carmichael wrote about the importance of serving her Prince with a quiet mind: “Having a quiet mind is not a question of choice – if we are to go on at all, we must have a quiet mind. All too many Christians break down, not because of their circumstances, but because of a weary, fretting spirit too rushed to dwell in peace.”

When I first read this statement, I found myself wondering how to maintain a quiet mind in today’s world. From the time we are five years old and watching Sesame Street, our society constantly throws nonstop action at us, training our mind to

continual communication with my Prince

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never be still. From quick-paced television commercials to online social networking, our minds are used to moving at a breakneck tempo. The Christian world all too often follows suit. There are short books with one-paragraph devotionals and easy, one-minute Bible readings created especially for all the busy Christians on the go. When a group of Christians gathers, fifteen minutes is usually considered a long time to spend in prayer or worship, and frequently we fidget and restlessly check our watches the whole time.

concerted effort to dwell on Him at night, I was surprised to notice that soon it started coming naturally. (An amazing bonus of this habit was that my sleeping became much more peaceful as a result of filling my mind with truth just before drifting off into dreamland.)

I grew up allowing my mind to wander rapidly from one random thing to the next. My thoughts were easily distracted and hardly ever peacefully still, even during times of prayer, Bible study, or journaling. But when I began to pursue a daily lifestyle of continual communication with my Prince, I knew that something had to change. I needed to learn how to discipline my mind to focus on Him, no matter where I was or what I was doing. I needed to keep my thoughts still enough to hear His gentle voice. While drifting off to sleep at night, instead of just letting my thoughts wander aimlessly, I began to focus my mind on my Christ – either through meditating on a Scripture I had memorized or just talking to Him about my day. After a couple of weeks of making a

My next step was to discipline my thoughts in the mornings, just after I woke up. Instead of immediately making a mental checklist for the day or instantly turning on my CD player while I got dressed, I decided to try starting out my day by worshiping my Prince. This didn’t mean a twenty-minute singing session – usually it just meant taking a few moments when I first awoke to kneel by my bed, focus on Him, and thank Him for His incredible love and faithfulness to me. When my Prince became the first thing my mind dwelled on in the morning and the last thing I thought about before falling asleep, it was far easier to continue to focus on Him and communicate with Him throughout my day. Eventually I was able to discipline my mind to dwell on Him on a more continuous

...I found myself wondering how to maintain a quiet mind in today’s world.

existence. When crisis or discouragement hit me, instead of being thrown completely off course with panicked thoughts racing through my mind, I became aware of my Prince’s calm, steadying arms around me.

When thoughts of my Prince were at the forefront of my mind, I was constantly reminded that He held the pen of my life, that He was scripting each chapter, and that He would never leave me. Eric has a saying that goes, “It is only when the waters are perfectly still that they can reflect the glories of the heavens.” It is the same with us. Only when our minds and hearts are restfully focused on our Prince can we become reflections of His strong, steady, and unshakable peace.

basis – while driving in my car, interacting with people, or doing my work. Often, my conversations with Him were not elaborate prayers, just little statements of my love for Him or short prayers for His guidance in certain situations.

The more I learned to quiet my mind and focus my thoughts on Christ, the more effectively I could deal with anything that was thrown at me throughout my day. As a result, I began to live a much more peaceful

...I became aware of my Prince’s calm, steadying arms around me.

Prayerfully consider some practical ways that you can train yourself to have a quiet mind on a continual basis. Take notice of where your thoughts go when you are alone during the day or when you are lying in bed at night. These are excellent moments to begin developing different mental habits. Instead of letting your mind wander randomly, make a concerted effort

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to focus on your Prince during those times, whether it is by meditating on a Scripture, singing a worship song, or just telling Him about what you are going through. As you face challenges throughout your day, remember to be aware of His presence at all times. Ask Him to assist you in conversations, guide you in decisions, and help you reflect His lily-white likeness no matter what you are doing. As you learn to speak with Him continually and open your heart to listen to His voice at all times, you will be amazed at how completely you will begin to delight in your Prince all day long.

For “in [His] presence is fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11).

Gaining an Undivided Heart

Jeremiah 29:13 says, “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” In Authentic Beauty, I talk about the importance of kicking out “other lovers” in our lives and cleaning our inner sanctuary. It is also crucial that we seek our God with a completely undivided, undistracted heart. If we were to be honest, many of us would have to admit that we aren’t really searching for Him with all our hearts. We are too busy browsing Facebook, surfing the Internet, texting, watching reality TV, and downloading movies. Worldly entertainment can easily become an addiction that we can’t live

without. Life would seem empty and bleak if we didn’t own a TV. Weekends would be boring and depressing if we didn’t frequent the local theater to catch the latest Hollywood flick. Even though we supposedly have everything we could ever want or need in Christ alone, we still look to these other means for the peace, joy, excitement, and refreshment that He Himself desires to give us. All we have is the counterfeit version of peace and joy, because we aren’t willing to let Him give us the real thing.

A truly set-apart woman hates the things that God hates and loves the things that God loves, and she reflects this attitude in every dimension of her daily life. Does God stand up and cheer over American Idol? Does He smile with delight over the newest Twilight movie? Does He get excited about the latest Coldplay album?

A truly set-apart woman hates the things that God hates and loves the things that God loves...

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Or does He grieve over our distracted, wandering, divided hearts?

If our Lord does not take delight in the things that charm and ravish the world, neither should we. (And if you believe that God actually applauds the distorted messages of pop culture, you need to become better acquainted with the God of the Bible.)

Other Christian girls may watch the same movies, listen to the same music, wear the same clothes, and have all the same pop culture addictions as the rest of the world, with just slightly higher morals tacked on.

But God has called us to a higher standard – the very standard of Christ. And I believe it’s time we become worthy of the calling we have received.

...God has called us to a higher standard – the very standard of Christ.

Take some time to prayerfully consider whether you are addicted to worldly entertainment and pop culture activities.

Facebook in itself might not be wrong, but if it is taking more of your time and focus than Jesus Christ, that means it has an unhealthy position in your life. Texting with

your friends might not be a sinful activity, but if it’s a constant distraction from your ability to tune your heart, mind, and spiritual ears to your Prince, it has a sinful hold over you. Write down any activity or worldly addiction that God’s Spirit brings to your mind. And then, by His grace, repent, turn, and walk in the opposite direction. Remember, no sacrifice is too great for the One who gave everything for you. (For more on this principle, see my book Set-Apart Femininity.)

Listening to Words of Life

One of the best investments I’ve ever made is purchasing an audio Bible and putting it on my MP3 player. Anytime I am doing a mindless activity, such as getting ready in the morning, running errands, or waiting for an appointment, I pull out my iPod, put on my headphones, and listen to the spoken Word of God. Flooding my mind and heart with truth instead of meaningless music or idle radio chatter has had a tremendous impact on my relationship with Jesus Christ. It keeps my mind and heart focused on Him all throughout the day. And whenever I’m hit with temptation, fear, or doubt I can instantly call to mind His words of life and stand firm in His truth. There are many audio Bibles on the market, and some you can even download for free. I prefer the

King James or New King James versions for their accuracy, and I especially like the dramatized New King James version called The Word of Promise. At first it might take some discipline to turn off your music or radio and instead turn on the Word of God; but after you develop this habit in your life, you’ll recognize how much it helps you delight in your Prince all day long, and you will begin to crave more time spent listening to truth.

*

Delight yourself in theLord...

Soul

A STEADFAST SOUL

by Tessa Thompson When I was in middle school, I went through a not-so-pleasant phase of impulsive outbursts of anger, irritability, and a general moodiness that was completely uncalled for. My poor mother never knew what she was going to get when I came home from school every afternoon. A cold response? A sudden eruption of temper?

A sweet smile? Most of the time there was absolutely no reason for such flare-

ups of emotion, and yet time and time again, my mom graciously forgave me.

As I got older, I thankfully grew out of the bad temper, but for several years I still had a frequent propensity to be irritable and moody. My emotions were a bit of a roller coaster at times, and I constantly found myself having to apologize to my family for a callous remark or bad attitude.

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“female-ness,” if you will, I have become convinced that I cannot use the fact that I am female as an excuse for a life of emotional upheaval and inconsistency.

It may be true that women are more inclined than men to feel and express a wide range of sentiment, but when Jesus Christ takes over, the selfish flesh (where bad moods and uncontrolled emotions actually arise from) can no longer be in charge.

And if the flesh is no longer in charge, there is no room left to justify behavior in which it would appear otherwise.

My emotions were a bit of a roller coaster at times, and I constantly found myself having to apologize to my family for a callous remark or bad attitude.

Although my behavior, words, and general disposition were perhaps not as rash and immature as my middle school days, they still did not reflect a heart and mind that had found a steady and stable rest in Jesus Christ. At a moment’s notice, what could have been a peaceful, cheerful afternoon, or a normal, lighthearted conversation, would turn into a mess of tears, rolling of the eyes, unfeeling words, or a slump of depression (or all of the above). It wasn’t because my days were filled with tragic disasters; rather, all it took was an undesirable or unexpected circumstance, an over-sensitivity to a word spoken, or a clever remark from my flesh telling me I’d been dealt an unfair hand.

Though to some it may sound reasonable to attribute such emotive woes to my

One of my favorite quotes from Elisabeth Elliot says, “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.”

Unfortunately, many women never grow out of their “middle school days,” and continue to live their lives ruled by spontaneous fits of irritability, anxiety, anger, coldness, and despondency – all while writing it off with, “Well, I’m a woman, how else can I be expected to act?” But as Elisabeth Elliot so eloquently says, the power of Christ upon

a woman’s life ought to make her different than any ordinary, emotion-driven woman around her. It’s not that Christianity takes a woman’s femininity and tries to make her some kind of object that doesn’t even feel. Rather, a woman who comes to know Jesus Christ is given the opportunity to live out beautiful femininity in the fullness of what God intended it to be – radiant, rocksolid, and reigned by the Spirit of God. Throughout the day, there are a hundred different “issues” that could trigger any normal female to respond in a way that would allow fleshly emotion to lead and change her “mood” to fit whatever difficult circumstance she finds herself in – receiving some bad news, conflict

“The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.”

– Elisabeth Elliot

...God is an unchanging god. He is fixed, constant, and unshakable. in a relationship, something not going as planned, tiredness, hunger, a busy schedule, a physical hindrance, being mistreated by a stranger, getting stuck in a traffic jam – and the list goes on.

Just last week, I found myself right in the middle of one of these very unwelcome situations. It started at the Department of Motor Vehicles, of all wonderful places. The mission: to trade in my expired Ohio license plates and walk out as the proud owner of Colorado license plates. Easier said than done! First, I was told that in order to register my car in Colorado, I needed a Colorado auto insurance policy. An hour later I had bought new insurance and was back in line at the DMV. When my turn came, I happily handed over my temporary proof of insurance and waited while the woman began typing my information into the computer.

Before going in, I had prayed that God would work out a supernaturally speedy process, because I only had a short amount of time to spare before I had to be at work. My prayers were answered.

sa walk

The process was surprisingly short – after only a few minutes, I was informed that I was actually at the wrong DMV and would need to go to a different county to register.

The cunning voice of the flesh tells us that in any such disturbance, we have every reason to cater to whatever exasperated emotion comes to the surface first. It tells us we have the right to be upset and moody, and that our tone of voice or morose silence should be used to make it obvious to those around us that something is not okay.

But is that how a woman who knows Jesus Christ ought to respond? Should a young lady who claims that her God is a rock and fortress be unsteady and unpredictable, prone to get bent out of shape when faced with an unexpected disturbance or when someone “hits the wrong button?”

Or should she be confidently proclaiming along with the Psalmist, “My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow [my] foot to be moved; He who keeps [me] will not slumber” (Psalm 121:2-3) and “I have set the LORD always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved” (Psalm 16:8)?

I shall not be moved. How many times throughout the day do we “move?” How many times throughout the day do we respond with words, actions, and tones that portray our God to be something less than an immovable rock upon which

our feet can stand with strength and stability? How often do we allow fleshly emotion to rule rather than the steadfast peace of God? (See Colossians 3:15.)

David says in Psalm 71:3, “Be my strong refuge, to which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, for You are my rock and fortress.”

When God is a rock to whom we continually resort, a rock in whom we hide ourselves all throughout the day, it is His character and nature that will reign in our heart, mind, and mouth rather than the character and nature of the sinful self. And what is the nature of a rock? It is not bendable. It can’t be squished up and molded into a different shape. Whether it gets rained on, thrown against a wall, or tossed into the lake, it remains the same. Likewise, God is an unchanging God. He is fixed, constant, and unshakable. He does not get agitated or stressed out. He cannot get bent out of shape by circumstances, nor is He surprised, anxious, or confused about any situation His children are faced with.

Whatever does not move the Rock in which

...it is his nature and character that will reigh in our heart, mind, and mouth...

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we daily abide does not need to move us.

Just a few years ago, my adventure at the DMV would have turned me into a ruffled and irritated mess. However, as inconvenient and disappointing as the situation was, I was able to smile at the woman, say, “Thank you,” and walk out the door composed and undisturbed. It did not ruin the rest of my day or put a black cloud over the remainder of my week.

Though the morning was unproductive and seemingly wasted, and though I’d have to spend another morning going to the right DMV (which ended up being an entire day – but that’s another story), my God had not changed. He knew my need. He knew my schedule. And He was not worried in the least. Why then, should I have been? When my soul is at rest in the immovability of my God, what can man (or the DMV, for that matter) do to me? Nothing, nothing at all.

We may be women with a great capacity to feel, but when we look to our Father to be our rock and fortress, a shelter to whom we continually resort, the One who is mighty and victorious in and though us, we are also women with a great capacity to go throughout each day with steadfast joy, unwavering peace, and a gentle calm that truly makes us different – and yet beautifully dignified – women of the Almighty God.

Soul When my

SOUL IS AT REST in the immovability of God, what can man do to me?

NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL.

Meet Gerda

SISTER OF THE

common life 1. Can you share some of your testimony about how you came to Christ?

I once read a quote that said, “There is a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means.” He truly knows what His purposes are for me, and what He wants to accomplish in me. What joy, for I would have made a mess of this story!

The first seven years of my life I did not know the Lord. My family was poor, and so food and clothing were not always readily available. My mother was mentally disabled, and was not always in a position to take care of her children; and my father would often drink too much alcohol. Although it seemed like a sad situation, those years were probably some of the most joyful of my life.

Often we would be looked down upon by other children, but as brothers and sisters we were the best of friends. Two of my brothers were mentally and physically disabled, and the only words they could say were “yes” and “no.”

So, sometimes I tried to teach them “school,” but it would only last about two

minutes before they found something more interesting! Basically, we never had any toys, so the trees and the mud and the leaves were put to great use – even the worms! But I do remember sometimes wondering, Who then really cares?

When I turned seven, my world took on quite the change. A social worker decided that my siblings and I should either go to an orphanage or find a family who was willing to adopt us. My mother and father were getting divorced, also. A few different families in our church graciously agreed to take us in. For the day of separation, we were promised a Bible and Psalm book. Because of this promise of receiving a great gift, I looked forward to the day with excitement, and continuously asked my aunt about it, until the day arrived when we received our Bibles and were separated into different families. To this day I consider the Bible to be the greatest gift from God! My younger sister and I were taken to the same family. What a blessing it was to

be with her! The change was huge, and I think it actually took me three years to comprehend it all. We were adopted by a family of missionaries, and at first they spoke only Dutch (while we spoke only Afrikaans). Understanding one another was hard at the beginning, but part of the difficulty resulted from my sister and I having no comprehension of love, care, or discipline.

Growing up in a different family was really hard; but it was during this time that the Lord got a hold of my heart. Aunt Inge was a plain and “to the point” person. She was not afraid of telling us of our sin. One day she told me that I was only thinking of myself and was just like my mother. This truly gripped my heart, for I could clearly see what the results were of thinking only of “myself” as in my mother’s life, and I really did not want to be known for that. Knowing that I was not a perfect, spotless girl changed my life. And as soon as a soul sees its need, it starts crying out for help. I didn’t have a clear understanding of the Gospel at that time, and thus did not yet understand that Jesus has washed me clean from sin, although I knew I needed Him. I lived under the condemnation of sin for the longest time. But the Lord did work in my heart and graciously helped me look outward to the needs of others.

After I had been living with my adoptive parents for 13 years, they moved to Canada. My sister and I remained in South Africa because we were in the middle of our studies, and they thought it would be best if we stayed. I believe God orchestrated this time of parting. It was a hard time, not necessarily because of the relationship I had with my adoptive parents, but because yet another set of “parents” was leaving my life; and I knew that at that point, I had to stand alone.

My sister and I lived together for another two years, and the Lord faithfully provided for us to be able to finish our studies and start working. During this time, I remember struggling a lot with understanding God’s love and care.

I felt that the challenges of life were constantly one step ahead of me, and that I was not able to handle them all. Does He really care? I thought. It didn’t seem like anyone else cared about our lives. When my younger brother then

died of pneumonia, it tore my heart apart. At his funeral, I knew he was in heaven and had been made perfect, but my heart still cried out to God for understanding of His love and care.

A few years later, as I was reading a book about security in Christ, I saw the cross, and I saw God’s great love and care for me and His dear children. God Cares! was all I could think of for days! I cried so much, but at the same time I wanted to tell the whole world that He cares – He sees, He hears, and He has compassion on us. Upon the cross, He has put an end to all our misery. He has taken it upon Himself! It is finished!

He has given us new life everlasting in Himself! My heart was and is filled with joy in and praise to Him. 2. What have been some of the greatest challenges and joys in living as a set-apart young woman?

Let me first mention one of the greatest joys of living unto my King: freedom!

As Jesus said in John 8:31-32,36, “…If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free…If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed” (KJV). Being known, even as a child, as someone who stood for what is true and right, this verse really struck me when I first heard it explained here at Ellerslie. The truth – that is something that I would want to know.

The Lord spoke to my heart that He is the Truth, and as I am walking in Him and continuing in His Word, only the Truth will remain. First John 5:20 says, “And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us an understanding, that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is

true, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.” This verse gives me so much peace, and also gives me complete freedom. No lie, no fear or anxiety, no worry about tomorrow, can have a hold on me, for I am in Him, the only One who at this very moment is the absolute Truth. Life is all about knowing Him, in every situation, and that truly brings joy everlasting!

For me, a great challenge in living as a set-apart young woman is remembering that I am not alone. Because of past experience and a difficult childhood, loneliness is something the enemy often tries to throw at me. But even in this area, the Lord has comforted me continually, reminding me that I am in Him, accepted and beloved. He truly is a Father who cares for His children. And because we are all one in Him, it does not matter where we are on this earth – we can be assured that we have sisters in the Spirit fighting right alongside us.

3. How do you guard your time and intimacy with the Lord amidst the busyness of being an Ellerslie intern?

I am definitely not a night owl, so I love to spend early mornings with Jesus. But I have come to realize that to truly have communion with my King throughout the day, I need to guard my thoughts, “bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5). It is so easy for me to have my thoughts fluttering around about a lot of things, but I must then stop myself and say, “No – ‘whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things’” (Phil. 4:8 NASB).

I love that the first on this list is “whatever is true.” For Jesus is the truth, and that one word brings me right back to Him. It is truly beautiful to know how life-changing it is when more and more of my thoughts dwell on Christ.

And the Lord has shown me that resting in Him is the answer to busyness.

He knows exactly what I am supposed to do each day. As long as I rest in His agenda for the day, and not my own, then I know that what I have accomplished is according to His will. My desire is to be an empty vessel, filled and used by my Lord for His purposes. This is not always easy, and I still have a long ways to go, but I know that the Lord is faithful in growing me, so that I will continue to abide in Him and bear much fruit to the glory of His name.

4. What is one thing you desire the women of your generation to know?

Life is truly not worth living for “self.” Even we as Christians have the tendency to sit back on our comfortable couches while there is a lost and dying world right on our doorsteps. Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve. Have

we truly seen that in the cross? As we pick up our cross and lay down our lives for others, it is in that exact place that Jesus will meet us. There we become a picture of His cross, and true joy and oneness with our Father’s heart is found. Know that it is Him flowing through you that will reach and touch lives that, by God’s grace, will be changed forever. Therefore, step out of the door of “self” and close it behind you. Take again a look through the eyes of Jesus at the world around you, seeing what He sees. And I know that He will move you from your doorway to be His hands and feet to the world.

Life is truly not worth living for “self”...Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve.

5. You have a beautiful love for kiddos! What opportunities have you had during your time at Ellerslie to minister to children?

Children are absolutely adorable and special to me. I continually think of how our heavenly Father looks at them: “…do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matt. 19:14 NASB). They are precious in His eyes. I have been a part of Kiddo Night on Tuesdays at Ellerslie, and have also had the opportunity to regularly visit a family with triplets, as well as baby-sit a boy named Toby three days a week. In these times the Lord has truly blessed me and increased my understanding of how great His love is for these dear little ones. To tell you the truth, I felt like these children ministered more to my heart than I did to theirs. I’ll just give you one example. Toby was still a little boy when I started watching him, about nine months old. When it was time for him to take a nap in the afternoon, this was the routine I went through: hold him,

sing a song to him, pray over him, and then wait until he falls asleep, all the while still praying that the Lord would fill him with His peace and rest. Then when I looked down again, Toby would be asleep – in less than ten minutes! The Lord opened my eyes to see that this is exactly the way He wants us to rest in His everlasting arms, no matter the circumstances, with full trust and dependence upon Him. And when it is time to wake up, we can live with assurance of His presence. Just as a child lives in full assurance of his mother’s presence, I need to live in the confidence that He is so near and intimately aware of all my actions. His eyes are continually upon me (see Psalm 32:8).

6. For several months, the Lord has been using your heart for children by giving you the opportunity to care for sweet little ones in Haiti. Can you tell us a bit about your time there and what the Lord has been teaching you through it?

Since coming to Haiti last June, I started to write letters to my family under the heading, “Walking in Haiti.” The very first day I arrived the Lord gave me a picture of Him walking this earth, Him stepping down into the dust and poverty and need that is all around. And now for me it is a daily walking with Jesus here in Haiti. It is such a privilege to take care of Lily and Rees (the two babies Leslie and Eric will be adopting), and minister to many more precious children around here. Being the hands and feet of Jesus, and ministering unto Him is such a joy! Even if it means to feed and dress and change diapers all day long!

I love the picture of Jesus taking the little ones into His arms and praying for them. The life of a child here in Haiti is given so little value, and thus a lot of children are abused and left abandoned. But knowing that it is Jesus Himself

who has sent me here to bring His love and care to these children has opened my eyes in many ways to His heart for these beautiful little ones. Many of them have been rescued from very appalling life situations, and it is easy to see the physical and spiritual scarring that they have. But knowing that Jesus has paid the price for them to be redeemed and rescued brings so much hope and life. He is the one keeping them as the apple of His eye. Often I see myself in these children, and knowing His patience and care for me gives me great hope and faith that He is doing the same for them. Also, the Lord has opened my eyes to the intense spiritual battle over these children’s lives. Oh, how the enemy wants to kill and destroy their lives! But we are all called to rise up and stand in the gap for the orphaned and vulnerable.

This calls for a daily laying down of my life and choosing to do what I can to bring life and light to their lives. Realizing my great need and dependence upon Him daily has been humbling and such a blessing at the same time, knowing that it is Him working in and through me. It is only in His victory and power and enabling grace that I can stand. He truly reigns in truth and in righteousness, and so I believe He has a plan for every child here in Haiti.

....we are called to rise up and stand in the gap for the orphaned and vulnerable.

7. What advice would you give to young women who have a passion to reach the next generation for Christ? “Live it first.� In my own life, I have been more impacted by women who truly lived their lives as unto the Lord, and did not only talk about it. This reminds

me so much of 1 John 3:18: “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth” (KJV). One of my constant meditations is, Lord, if what people see in my life does not reflect You, then my words about You will have no value either. I would encourage young woman to truly spend time in God’s Word and meditate upon who He is. When our hearts are filled with Him and not worldly things, it is then that Jesus will overflow to those around us. What is more beautiful than to see a young woman love those in her life as Jesus would? I call that true love. And remember, His love can never fail!*

.What is more beautiful than to see a young woman love those in her life as Jesus would?

A few of Gerda’s favorite things:

mountains and wate rfalls, backpacking, holding a child’s h and, a baby’s giggle , reading my Bible, visiting a hospital, chocolate, symphon y orchestras, givin g presents, worshipin g Jesus

take it deeper

Authentic

order now

Beauty

For most of my young adult life, I had known Jesus Christ only as the One who had saved me from my sins. I had been looking to an earthly romance to fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. I had been searching for an earthly prince to rescue me, to carry me away to his castle, to love and cherish me forever – to fulfill my feminine desire for tender romance.

But until Jesus Christ becomes the Lover of our soul – the very center of our existence – we will always be looking in the wrong places to fulfill our feminine longing for tender romance. We will end up broken-hearted and disillusioned, time and time again. Christ alone can truly fulfill the desires of our heart. Authentic Beauty is a personal and practical book about becoming a set-apart young woman in today’s perverse generation.

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A Closet Without

Conformity

Q

sA

by Amy Meyers and Tessa Thompson

with the setapartgirl team

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Do not be conformed to this world...

“

“

“It’s too hard to find anything modest within my budget.”

“I can’t help it if this top fits lower on me because of my shape.”

“If I didn’t have such long legs, maybe I’d be able to find a skirt that covers my knees.”

“Well, at least I’m dressing more modestly than most girls my age.”

“But it’s only the top I have that matches my favorite skirt.”

A

“I’m just going to be hanging out with girls, so it doesn’t matter if I’m showing more skin.”

nd the list goes on. As women, we have a tendency to come up with a plethora of “reasonable” excuses as to why we can’t rise to a higher standard when it comes to the way we dress. For some reason, we think that as long as we are wearing more modest fashions than most, then it is not necessary to give any more thought to the matter. However, we are commanded in Romans 12:2, “...do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” God’s pattern for His children is completely separate the ways of the world, but we must be willing to yield to the Spirit’s conviction (even at the cost of seeming inconvenience), and refuse to make any excuse that would hinder us from living to the highest standard – Jesus Christ.

All of us on the setapartgirl team have experienced the conviction of the Lord in this area of our lives. We would like to share with you some of the ways God has challenged us to raise the bar rather than continuing to allow the world’s approach to shape our mind-set, choices, and purchases.

Here’s what the team has to say...

Q:

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What seemingly small habits or tendencies has God convicted you about as you take steps forward to apply the set-apart life to the way you dress?

Amelia:

When I was in my late teens, I had some shirts that sported “rips” or holes in the sleeves or on the shoulder. They weren’t what you would ordinarily consider “immodest,” and I reasoned that I would wear sleeveless shirts that would show my whole arm, so how could these possibly be wrong? But I’ve learned that when it comes to modesty, it isn’t just about how much skin you’re not showing – it’s what you’re saying with what you’re wearing. I realized that wearing shirts with holes in the sleeves or shoulder had a sort of teasing effect and was really not that much different from wearing something low-cut. Showing only a glimpse of skin was actually more distracting for guys than if I had just been wearing a sleeveless shirt.

Amy:

As a young teen, I believed myself to be a very modest dresser. While all the other girls were wearing low-cut tops or spaghetti-strap tanks, my closet consisted mainly of crew-necks with sleeves. But when God beckoned me deeper into Him, one of the first things He pointed out was my worldly wardrobe. Since my clothes didn’t reveal a lot of skin, and were more modest than most, I never thought twice about wearing tight-fitting tops. But God began to show me that it wasn’t simply the cut of my clothes that made them immodest, and that snug clothing can be just as distracting for men and dishonoring to Him as a sheer top with a deep V-neck.

Mandy:

Happy memories were accompanied by a pinch of dismay as I flipped through family photo albums during my last visit home. Pictures from my early teenage years captured a naïvely-dressed Mandy showcasing straps galore! I had been mindless in my clothing choices, and to be honest, I thought very little of straps peeking out-of-bounds. As God moved upon my heart, I began to see the unseemliness of what I thought of as “no big deal.” Setting foot on the narrow path has taught me to embrace the conviction of His Spirit and joyfully submit to His jealous guardianship over every area of my life.

A

Madison:

There have been periods in my life when my wardrobe has undergone some “refining.” I am in the ongoing process of being conformed into His image. One example of this work in progress involved a few of my skirts.

They were a little above my knee, and had I chosen to only stand in them, they would have stayed just above my knee; but any time I sat down, these skirts inched their way higher. God began to convict me of this, and He made it clear that such skirts were not honoring to Him and did not hold to the highest standards of modesty and virtue. I was reminded that the life that I was living was not my own, that it had been bought with a price (the precious blood of Jesus), and that all of me belonged to Jesus.

s

Tessa:

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I had no problem wearing strapless or halter dresses to homecoming dances and other formal occasions. Though I wouldn’t wear such dresses to church on a normal Sunday morning, I reasoned them to be acceptable, as long as the top was not too low, and the bottom was at least to my knees. For some reason, I allowed myself to show more skin if I was somewhere where such dresses were simply the norm. However, in the past couple of years, God has pressed me to set a higher standard in this area.

I am currently at an age when many of my friends are getting married, which means I am attending a lot of weddings.

Choosing a Christ-honoring dress for these occasions has been a great (and challenging) opportunity to obey the convictions God has put on my heart.

sq

Lauren:

Before I surrendered my life to Jesus, I very wrongly found self-justification in the fact that I didn’t wear pants. Many times, I looked down in judgment on other young women because they did wear pants. I somehow felt that wearing only skirts and dresses made me more holy and pleasing in His sight, though, in reality, nothing could have been farther from the truth! Dear sisters, it is not what you wear or don’t wear that saves you – Jesus and Jesus alone saves you! At the same time, this does not mean that you can wear whatever you want; Scripture is very clear that we are to walk after Christ in holiness and purity. However, true holiness is the covering of Jesus Christ, and purity is the outflow of a heart that seeks to glorify Him in all things, whatever the cost.

d

Q:

Was there anything that made it difficult to heed this conviction and put effort into making the change?

Amelia:

It’s really ironic how you can know deep down inside that what you’re wearing doesn’t measure up to the standard you should be living, but you still make excuses for it. To liked those shirts because they showed off just a little bit of skin, and I knew that I would get attention from other people by wearing them. During this process, God also had to strip me of pride and my desire to gain approval from others. He taught me to seek His approval above all and reflect Him in the way I dressed.

A short time after the Lord convicted me of this (and He used my mother as a mouthpiece), I saw a younger girl wearing a shirt that was identical to one I had once wore. Seeing it on someone younger really opened my eyes to what that style of top was saying and how immodest it really was. I have since made it my goal to keep in mind all the younger girls who will see me and may imitate what I wear. If I wouldn’t want my little sister to wear it, then I shouldn’t wear it either!

Amy:

Once God pricked my heart in this area of my life, I had the sudden urge to throw away every single piece of clothing I owned and start again with a fresh closet. However, since I was quite young and only worked the occasional babysitting job, I didn’t exactly have the funds to go out and purchase an entirely new wardrobe. I shared what God was doing in my heart with my mom, and she swiftly and joyfully offered to help me buy what I needed to obey what He was asking me to do. Thusly, this change in my life not only had a profound impact on my relationship with Christ, but it also created an even more beautiful spiritual bond between me and my mom.

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Madison:

The skirts had to go. Unfortunately, as I look back at this, I can’t say I threw them away immediately. One of the skirts was made up of a patchwork material I loved. I didn’t want to part with it, so I allowed it to hang around in my closet longer than I should have. God makes it clear in His Word that when He points out an area of our lives that is not right, we are to obey without hesitation. Skirts do not mean more to me than my precious Savior, but holding on to them when God had clearly told me they had to go sent the message that they did. As I sought God in this area, He faithfully showed me His pattern – and He will do the same for you!

Tessa:

Oftentimes when I find a quality and classy dress that is modest on top, it will be just an inch or two too short, which can get frustrating really fast! Recently I found one such dress in an up-scale consignment shop: beautiful, satin fabric, a high neck, and feminine pleated sleeves – and just a wee bit above my knee. The price was too good to pass up, so I went to a fabric store and bought some ivory chiffon trim, and then had a seamstress add it to the bottom. When we seek to obey God in the little things, He will be faithful to meet our needs.

Mandy:

As I began walking more closely with the Lord, I heard Him calling me to a higher standard in the way I dressed. The major challenge I faced was the tireless search for concealing, yet stylish clothing. For a time, I resolved to the modern “straptastic” solutions. However, over time I learned that jerry-rigging straps to keep them concealed does not necessarily make the clothing choice modest. Rather than concocting my own solutions, I have learned to simply trust the One who gives in abundance to those who walk in obedience!

sa style

Lauren:

As I have sought the Lord in this area, He has been so faithful to lead and guide! While I do feel that He desires me to wear mostly skirts and dresses, I also feel complete freedom to put on a pair of jeans when the need arises. Even though it’s possible to hike or kayak in a skirt, there are times when wearing a skirt could actually be immodest! As you seek the Lord in these things, open your hands and your heart. Be willing to let go of what you think is modest, and He will show you how He wants you to dress.

Marlene:

I’m always on the lookout for tips and ideas on how to dress as a girl belonging to Jesus Christ. I get a lot of creative ideas just by observing what other Godly women and girls are wearing, and doing this also encourages me to follow God’s guidelines for my own dress code. But I have to be careful as well, for I have seen women I esteem wearing something slightly immodest, and I’ve caught myself using that as an excuse to lower my standards. I have found it worthwhile to let other women and girls’ choices help me make my own, but their wardrobe judgments cannot become the model for mine.

Above all, God’s pattern has to be my standard for style.

Another Word from Amy and Tessa:

If modesty is an area God has already touched on in our lives, we may have experienced the temptation to judge our success by how differently we dress than the majority of girls walking around the mall on a Friday night. It cannot be our goal to simply be better than the world in the clothes we choose to wear, or even to dress like the women we look up to. Rather, we must go to God and ask Him to show us His perfect pattern, and then joyfully and willingly obey His leading and make whatever changes He asks us to, no matter the cost. If we heed His voice, our outward appearance will be a testimony of the fact that He, not the world, has gained the throne of our lives, and it will no longer reflect a pattern of compromise, complacency, and worldly conformity. .

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Above all, God’s pattern has to be my standard for style.

take it deeper

Set-Apart

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This is a powerful, candid, conversational book in which I pass on a compelling vision for femininity that can forever alter your existence and take you far beyond the unfulfilling trends of modern culture. This book is a radical call to a version of femininity in which everything – from the way you relate with guys to the focus and direction of your life – is shaped by an intimate relationship with the King of kings.

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Leslie’s Blog!

Marriage & mamahood Moments from my life.

MAMAHOOD: Helping My Children Understand Evil One of the more challenging aspects of parenting is finding tactful, simple, and edifying ways to discuss difficult subjects with my children. When they observe evil, sin, and darkness around them, I must help them process what they are seeing in a healthy way that points them to Truth. During the Halloween season, my kids are constantly shocked and dismayed by the grotesque displays they see in stores and in front yards. “Why does Walgreens celebrate Halloween?” they ask me quite loudly and incredulously, right in front of the store clerk...

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raising little

Heroes

Instilling Honor in Your Children

by Leslie Ludy Last week Harper (age 5) decided that she wanted to kiss Hudson “on the lips” instead of just on the cheek. She proposed the idea as we were all eating breakfast. “Can I kiss Hudson on the lips?” she asked, her expression filled with childlike innocence.

(After all, if Mommy and Daddy can kiss on the lips, why couldn’t she kiss Hudson that way?)

Hudson (age 7) looked up from his food and thought about it for a minute. Then, he turned to Harper and said in a firm, somewhat patronizing tone, “Save it for

your husband Harper!” and went back to eating his toast. It was an absolutely hilarious moment that I will forever wish we had on film. Though Hudson was not necessarily tender or sensitive in his approach, we caught a glimpse of the “protector of purity” that we are training him to become in his sister’s life. Hudson doesn’t really yet know anything about sexuality or purity. However, he seems to have picked up on the fact that certain things are meant to be held sacred for marriage.

“I know you want to marry me Harper,” he told her matter-of-factly a few minutes later. “But you can’t. You gotta find a different husband.” Hmmm. Not exactly the way I would recommend him speaking to the ladies, but still, even at this young age, he’s catching a vision for honor. This is encouraging, because as a parent you often wonder how much of your instruction is actually sticking. It’s easy to focus on all the areas in which they are falling short, all the things you still need to work on in your children’s lives and hearts. But I am finding that when they grow up in an environment that protects honor and purity, they begin to think and reason from a standpoint of honor, even without specific teaching on the subject.

It has been a huge blessing to have our children spend time around Ellerslie students. They have seen young men treating women with respect; they have observed guys and girls protecting purity and guarding the sacred, and this reinforces what they hear and observe in our home.

Hudson doesn’t always treat Harper as a gentleman should. One moment he’s valiantly protecting her from rowdy kids on the playground, and the next he’s hitting her over the head with a plastic

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motherhood fire truck, demanding that she share her toys. We have a lot more training to do.

But it’s encouraging to see little glimpses of honor emerging from his life – like exhorting Harper to save her first real kiss for her future husband. It’s given me renewed passion for training up a little hero; one who protects a woman’s purity instead of conquering it!

Even with all our children being under the age of seven, there are plenty of opportunities for honor training. Here are some of the practical things we’re doing right now to instill honor in our children’s lives:

1. Setting an Example of Honor in the Home In our book The First 90 Days of Marriage, Eric and I write about a lie that many young married couples have fallen prey to – that marriage is the time when you can finally “let it all hang out.” There are plenty of jokes about men who burp, scratch, and pack on the pounds and women who stop shaving their legs or wearing makeup once the wedding vows are spoken. And sadly, it is all too true. There is a common assumption that once you have “locked in” your spouse’s commitment to you, you no longer need to work to win his or her heart, that you can now be sloppy and

careless, throwing all dignity and honor to the wind. This attitude, if cultivated, quickly transfers into the arena of parenting. The majority of young moms I encounter habitually look (and act) like slobs, using the justification,“My family doesn’t care what I wear or how I act.”

This approach disregards the value of guiding a home, caring for a family, and being a godly wife. It makes home life mundane, unromantic, and yes, dishonorable. It’s nearly impossible to raise your children to become little ladies and gentleman if your own standards for honor are dismally low.

So, Eric and I make it a very high priority to set the example for our children by building honor into our marriage and home life. We speak words that edify each other.

We don’t put each other down or joke about each other’s faults. We are quick to ask forgiveness for wrongs. We treat each other with respect by listening when the other person is talking, showing interest in what they are saying, and looking for ways to encourage them. We don’t “let it all hang out” and allow crudeness into our behavior patterns, even when it’s just the two of us alone together. We protect each other’s privacy. We take time to look nice for each other. These are all simple habits that, by the grace of God, we’ve been able to cultivate and model to our children. Of course, we are not perfect in all of these

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motherhood areas all of the time, but we take our position very seriously before God as role models of honor to our children. And as we yield ourselves to the Spirit of God, He enables us to live out His pattern for honor – something we could never accomplish in our own strength.

Because of the consistent example in our home, Hudson is always jarred whenever he encounters little boys who are obnoxious, rude, and crude. It’s a startling contrast to what he’s used to. Something about it feels very wrong to him. And that’s how we want it to be.

2. Teaching Gentlemanly and Ladylike Behavior One thing you learn quickly as a parent is that children are naturally inclined to be little cave-people; spitting out their food, screaming just to be heard, snatching toys out of their siblings’ hands, and interrupting every adult conversation.

Honorable behavior is the opposite of what comes naturally to them. So, it must not only be modeled, but diligently taught.

Eric has a special time with Hudson every Tuesday, when he teaches him how to become a Christ-like gentleman. As he was

preparing for these training times, Eric drafted thirteen principles of gentlemanly honor, which he continually teaches and

reinforces to Hudson in creative and practical ways. Here is the list:

#1 Always Demonstrate Honor (no rude behavior) #2 Live a Clean and Orderly Life #3 Be an Alert and Enthusiastic Student #4 See What Needs to be Done, and Do it! #5 No Grumbling, No Complaining #6 Protect the Little Guy, Train to Defend the Weak #7 Don’t be a Pushover to Pain #8 If you Make a Mistake, Make it Right, and Quick #9 Always Tell the Truth #10 Show Respect for Authority #11 Be Extremely Generous #12 Eat What is Set Before You #13 Face the Creepy Crawleys with Confidence (don’t be a wimp)

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motherhood We’ve told Hudson that when he begins to excel in these behaviors on a consistent basis, he will be ready to go on rescuing missions overseas with Daddy. He takes his hero-training very seriously. It’s not a list of “dos and don’ts” he’s forced to follow, but rather an exciting vision for what God wants Him to become.

Gentleman and lady training is a primary focus in the Ludy home.

Harper and I have been going to tea at Nana’s house. She gets to wear a pretty dress and learn how to sit properly at the table, show gratitude to Nana for her hospitality, and cultivate the art of gracious, dignified femininity.

All of our children have a time each evening when they practice sitting still, calmly with their hands in their lap. When any of them begins to slouch, flop, or squirm, we say, “Sit up like a lady!” or “Sit like a gentleman!” We’re training them to immediately respond.

Gentleman and lady training is a primary focus in the Ludy home. They certainly

aren’t the finished product in any of these honorable behavior patterns. In fact, they are only beginning to learn them.

However, one thing I do know is that they are catching a clear vision for the men and women of honor God desires to shape them into.

As parents, God asks us to speak of His pattern to our children diligently and continually:

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up... (Deut. 6:7) It’s a big responsibility, but with it comes a big reward:

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

(Prov. 22:6) The world is in desperate need of Christbuilt heroes who will showcase heavenly honor to this dying generation. One of our greatest desires is for our children to be counted among them.

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ff the Ludy kids u st cute are saying & doing

Hudson, age 7

He is learning how to animate! Yes, that’s right. Our seven year old is aspiring to have a company called “Hudson Jack Ludy Films” and already has big plans for getting his movies distributed into iTunes and Target. He said he might consider selling rights to Disney depending on if he can maintain creative control. (Of course, his films will be edifying family movies.) He already has two films in production: The Bat and the Rat and Horsey Movie – both of which he personally wrote and filmed with Harper and a Flip video camera. Now, he is turning his attention to animated movies – and is learning how to draw a sequence of pictures, scan them, and use special software to make them come alive! He was very proud of his first animation project which he worked on with Daddy – it took about an hour to create and the end result was a whopping two seconds of animated action. But I must say it’s far beyond anything I could ever come up with!

Harper, age 5 Harper has been loving going on errands with Mommy. It’s her special one-on-one time and she is a very patient shopper. The other day while going in and out of several stores on a bright sunny day, I noticed that she had brought her sparkly purple sunglasses along.

She was putting the sunglasses on every time we stepped outside, and taking them off and tucking them into the neckline of her shirt every time we went indoors. I realized I had been doing the very same thing – she was mimicking what she’d been seeing me do. I then noticed that she had started wearing her little fluffy lamb-purse across one shoulder, exactly the way I carry mine. And to top it off, she told me, “Mamma I want to have flip flops that make noise, just like you!” Apparently she likes the “flip, flip” sound my shoes make when I walk. So, we tracked down a pair of pink flip flops from a clearance bin so that she could “flip and flop” with her feet just like Mommy! I was basically unaware of all of these obscure tidbits about myself until I saw them imitated by my five-year-old!

Kip, age 4 I have been singing On Top of Spaghetti before bed – the song that talks about the meatball rolling off the table and out the door when somebody sneezed. Whenever I get to the line that says “it rolled through the garden and under a bush, and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush,” Dubber always looks concerned and asks, “Mommy, does this song have a happy ending?” So then I have to make up the last line about how Dubber and I went back inside and got another meatball and everyone lived happily ever after.

Avy, age 3 When I was cleaning out the toy section of our basement recently, Avy discovered a “toddler laptop” that she’d never played with. It fascinated her for quite a long time, and she told me, “I’m working on my computer, just like you!” while pretending to type. Later, I overheard her talking to Dubber outside while they were playing. She said quite seriously, “I need to go check my email at dot com!” I had no idea that she even knew what email was, or knew anything about using the Internet! It was hilarious to hear her attempt to sound web savvy with the limited phrases she’s managed to pick up around the house!

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No Weapon Formed Against Us When Gladys Aylward was on her way to China to fulfill the call of God on her life, the enemy must have known how powerful her ministry would be, because he tried to thwart her before she even arrived. In Russia, she was detained by corrupt government officials. As she sat in a hotel room, thinking about a way to escape, an officer tried to force his way in. Boldly, she told him, “You are not coming in here.”

“Why not?” he smirked.

“Because this is my bedroom.”

“I am the master, I can do with you what I wish!”

“Oh no, you cannot. You may not believe in God, but He is here. Touch me and see. Between you and me God has put a barrier. Go!” The man stared at Gladys, shivered, and without another word, turned and left...

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OUR TEAM

RECOMMENDS

GOOD READS.

Madison Recommends: HUDSON TAYLOR’S SPIRITUAL SECRET

by Dr. and Mrs. Howard Taylor

This biography will give you a quick peek into the life of the great 19th century missionary to China, Hudson Taylor. You will see how our heavenly Father always takes care of His children through this man’s given life, and you will be encouraged to see a brother in Christ who lived his life in love and in faithful servitude to Jesus.

As he said, “If you are ever drinking at the Fountain with what will your life be running over? Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!” May such be said of our lives!

Mandy Recommends: HUMILITY

by Andrew Murray

With beautiful simplicity, Andrew Murray articulates an essential grace of the Christian life: humility. Though I have only begun to troll the depths of this Christian classic, I have been chased into the embrace of Divine Grace and tenderly pressed unto a place of deeper dependence upon Him. Murray’s message brings the sweet sting of conviction, thus compelling lovers of Jesus to bow at His feet in humble adoration, crying out, “I need Thee, O, I need Thee!”

Keep us little and unknown, prized and loved by God alone.

D. L. Moody

Purified of the Past a warrior-poet reveals the truths about the power of God’s redemption How To Find a Godly Guy (In a Godly Way) timeless tips and truth for the set-apart lady-in-wating

in the next issue

Preach Christ At All Times (If Necessary Use Words) how to effectively proclaim Truth to those around you