IS SUE 09 - Ask Us First
Ask us first Advice from family doctor, Dr Oscar Duke, on some of your concerns
Dear Family First,
Dear Family First,
My wife is due to have our second child in a couple of months. Our first was a boy (Rory is four) and we have a great relationship – we both love sport, wrestling and cars, so have a lot to talk about. Our second child is going to be a girl and I am worried that I won't be able to bond with her. I have always struggled to have things in common with girls and I grew up with two brothers. My wife says that it will come naturally, but I fear that I won't have the same bond with her as I do with my son. What can I do to better prepare for being a dad of a daughter?
I have a huge problem with nappy rash with my 18-month-old daughter. She seems to do very acidic bowel movements and gets awful rashes unless she is changed right away. This is not always possible (especially when she is at nursery) and then she is in a lot of pain due to the nappy rash. We have tried numerous different disposable nappy brands, cloth nappies and a few different creams – but nothing seems to help in the long term. Is there anything I can do for her to relieve the nappy rash?
Chris.
Dr Duke says: This is a
fear of many parents, particularly when they discover they’re having a baby that is a different sex to them. Take some reassurance from the fact that for most dads, by the time their child is six months old, these worries have completely disappeared. Bonding can feel challenging for dads in the early days, particularly if mum is doing all the feeding. Try to involve yourself as much as you can – leading on nappy changes is the perfect time to bond with your daughter and gives mum a very welcome break too! Once you reach the six-month stage we know how important dads are at teaching skills of risk analysis, adventure and boundaries, as they often lead in what psychologists call ‘rough and tumble play’. This is the time your hormones will start flowing, oxytocin in particular, further strengthening your bond.
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Anon.
Dr Duke says: Most happy rash is
caused by the reaction between poo and urine in the nappy, but damp conditions in the nappy can lead to overgrowth of yeasts, known as Candida or thrush, that can irritate the skin. Make sure you are using a soft, stretchy and well-fitting nappy. Another top tip is to leave the nappy off after each change for five-ten minutes, keeping a careful eye out for cheeky wees. This allows the skin to fully dry and for nappy rash to settle before you add on your nappy rash cream of choice. Nappy rash can come on alarmingly quickly, but the good news is that if you try some of these solutions, you’ll find it will often disappear as quickly as it came on. Dr Oscar Duke is a London-based GP, broadcaster, Pampers ambassador and father of two young children.
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