The Purposeful Creation of Family Unity By Matt Eschler, PhD, LMFT
Regardless of the constellation of your particular family, it is likely that each one of you are very busy. Young families are busy building careers, going to school, caring for youngsters, and running a household. Families with older children are busy attending athletic functions, school activities, and work events. Empty nesters are busy trying to coordinate schedules with adult children, grandchildren, and the myriads of involved others in their lives. It seems that maintaining family unity is an impossibility. The past three decades of watching families grow and change has left me with five clear, manageable ideas for fostering unity in your family no matter what stage of life in which you may be. Because these ideas are easy to understand and implement, they could change the dynamic of how your family works together to build and maintain solidarity and harmony. The following ideas can be adapted to fit the various roles, ages, types, personalities, or constellations of your particular family unit. Regardless of the design and composition of your family, you can always invest in unifying its members toward healthy relationships with each other. 1. Create a Family Governing Purpose A fun activity to do with your family is to define and create a written governing purpose or mission statement. A governing purpose is a short phrase or slogan that generalizes your family’s beliefs and values and helps to drive positive behaviors. A family mission statement can have a tremendous positive influence on your family, so you will have more success if time is set aside when every family member can participate in constructing it and committing it to paper. There are many resources on the internet that can guide you and your family in creating your own governing purpose. These can be found by doing a simple Google search. You might be surprised at the way a well-defined governing purpose motivates and inspires your family. It can help them change an ingrained habit, eliminate destructive self-talk, provide a clear-cut pathway during times of family distress, and remind them of who they are and what they stand for. A governing purpose can teach character strengths. increase family productivity, and sometimes, provide a shot of humor during tense family discussions. While a governing purpose does not solve family problems, it does provide a boundary that encourages family members to act within the family ideals and goals. As the years pass, your family governing statement can be updated and be a part of what unifies the family going forward. 58 www.sghealthandwellnessmagazine.com
