FROM THE CEO
RANCHELLE IN THE RAW Exploring More of My Dark Side by Ranchelle Van Bryce
There is a challenge for me in writing this article and that is making sure that I share my story (stand ON it) and not stand IN it. There is a difference between the two. In one, I live in the story and feel what I felt, and in the other, I share with you with the purpose of living my purpose which is to talk about the shit no one talks about. The dark side or shadow self is one of those topics that we don’t like to chat about. All of us are both light and dark. We have redeeming qualities and Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay not. The challenge I think we have is that we have been taught to put our “The Dark Side best foot forward, to fake it ‘til Is In Our Blood.” we make it, to have a business face and a personal face. These Kylo Ren to Rey in aren’t wrong, mind you, but they do certainly play into the theory “The Last Jedi” that we should just pretend to be okay when we aren’t, to not hen you go through recognize our dark side and how most of your life it is affecting us.
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with the belief that you aren’t enough and you spend that same life pretending you are, you tend to avoid the inevitable ‘dark side’ or ‘shadow self’. Today, Ranchelle in the Raw is not only about facing my dark side but embracing it.
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My dark side felt really dark. Secrets from childhood that I felt couldn’t be expressed. A deep feeling of not being enough. Not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, ambitious enough, lovable enough. Simply JUST NOT ENOUGH. It led me to behave in ways that did not support my dreams and goals -- procrastination, not following through on commitments, fear
of intimacy, working too many hours and more. I considered each perceived ‘failure’ was proof that I wasn’t enough. Two ex-husbands, an extremely successful business that over the years swung to an almost bankrupt Ranchelle, loss of friends because I failed to follow through on a collaboration are just a few examples of the proof that I had that I just couldn’t cut it. This proof led to the shadow self of me take over. This belief, this feeling, was insidious as hell. I would take steps to overcome it, come out of hiding, do some sort of activity that I thought would move me forward, be scared, feel fear, not perform at my greatest potential, see the proof that I sucked and retreat. Rinse and repeat. In 2019, I started a deep dive into my beliefs, and consequently, my shadow side. I literally made a list of beliefs that were stopping me from living the life I desired. The first three were easy to write down as they were very apparent. Not feeling good enough, fear of being judged and feeling like I was living a lie. These all led to behaviours that were not supporting me, procrastination, lack of motivation and an inability to follow through on my commitments.
