She Magazine—Jan. '12

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Tina Sordellini Managing Executive Editor

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I’m a little frustrated right now. It’s not like a yelling or throwing things kind of frustrated. It’s not even like a rant kind of frustrated. I’m not aggravated at any particular person or thing. It’s more like frustrated at a set of circumstances.

I get like this every once in awhile. I stop letting things just roll off my back and instead become so aggravated by the way people behave that I just decide not to participate. So, I have spent the last few days not participating in anything that I don’t want to do.

It’s not really a bad thing. Sometimes I think I participate too much, and therefore people begin to take me for granted. So it’s good to sit back and do nothing for a little while. It also gives me time to really evaluate whether or not I am participating in things that are truly worthy of my time and energy.

Today I realized that people, who say you should give from the heart without expectation of receiving anything in return, are full of crap. There is always an expectation of some kind, even if it’s just that whatever you give will be appreciated. And if you are giving without expecting it to at least be appreciated, then shame on you. That’s what the natives call a doormat.

Admittedly, I am one of those people who is constantly thinking of and doing for other people. As a result, I tend to forget about doing things for me. And a good friend just reminded me that when I do as much as I do for others, I tend to train them to expect it and, at times, take it for granted. When that happens, it is important for me to take that step back and only do the things that are about me for a little while.

The beauty in all of this is that I know I am not alone. I’m not the only giver in this world and I am certainly not the only one who is so busy thinking of others that they forget to think about themselves.

So, I decided that rather than writing some warm and fuzzy stuff about the new year, I should be honest about how I am feeling right now and remind us all that it’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to take that step back once in awhile and only participate in things that are for and about you. It’s okay to not be willing to sit on the phone with people who only want to talk about their problems, drama, needs or issues. It’s okay to stop doing for others long enough for them to remember not to take you for granted. And if they don’t remember not to take you for granted, then it’s okay to stop doing for them at all. The serial takers in your life will only be takers as long as you continue blindly giving.

So, moving forward, in this “New Year,” remember to make some time to be for and about you. And if those around you aren’t lovingly giving you that time, then take it. You are definitely worth it.

See you next month for our 13th Anniversary Issue!

MANAGING EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Tina Sordellini PUBLICITY SHE ESPAÑOL EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Maria Espinal ASSOCIATE EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Sandee Birdsong ASSOCIATE EDITORS

Marissa Cohen M. Patti Moss Shawn Nicholson Christina Radish Denise Warner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Marissa Cohen Verónica Espinal Anna Lepely, M.S. PHD Christina Radish The Village Sage Jowharah Sanders Tina Sordellini Denise Warner Donna Woessner CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Verónica Espinal • Yadira Claralt Karina Luna • Angie Sowers Juan Saco Mironoff • Boi-Photography SALES ASSOCIATES

Maria Espinal Diana Price ads@shemag.com DISTRIBUTION

Robin Rotellini • Randy Justice SUBSCRIPTIONS

www.shemag.com EDITORIAL OFFICE

6511 Nova Drive, #173 Davie, FL 33317 954.354.9751 office info@shemag.com www.shemag.com SHE: WOMEN OWNED, WOMEN OPERATED, WOMEN EMPOWERED! The ideas and opinions expressed in She Magazine do not necessarily reflect opinions of Shemag, L.L.C., She Magazine, or of editors or staff. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization should not be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of that person or organization. All advertising subject to approval by She Magazine. She Magazine/Shemag, L.L.C. is not responsible for unauthorized use or copyright infringement as present in camera ready, client provided ads, nor is it liable for any loss or suit arising from submitted advertisement, copy, photography, or artwork. Reproduction of She Magazine, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited without the express written consent of Shemag, L.L.C.

12/30/2011, 1:34 AM

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18 20 FEATURES

DEPARTMENTS

16 LGBT PARENTAL RIGHTS

08 DIRECTOR’S CHAIR

Can you be denied access to your child?

18 CHEW ON THIS

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10 MULTIMEDIA Movies, Music, DVDs & TV

Humpy’s Pizza & Panini

14 IN THE NEWS

20 ON THE COVER

15 CALENDAR

Sweet Baby J’ai

26 PETS OF THE MONTH 28 TRAVEL Olivia Travel’s 40th anniversary cruises

24 SHE GIRL See our 2011 She Girls

25 ON THE SHELVES 34 ARCHIVES

20 EQUALITY TALK A look back at equality’s achievements

Anywayz Bar, Jan 2003

38 SCOPES

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SHE ESPANOL 32 NOTICIAS 33 YO SOY MUJER

FOLLOW SHE

PICTORIALS 04 SHE SCENE 12 WOMEN’S WHITE PARTY 1 19 AROUND YBOR CITY 26 WOMEN’S WHITE PARTY 2

FACEBOOK.com Search: She Mag Like Us: She Magazine TWITTER.com/shemagazine MYSPACE.com/she_magazine M.ISSUU.com (Search: Shemagazine) Download the application on your android phone today!

> YOU CAN READ OUR FREE DIGITAL EDITION AT WWW.SHEMAG.COM

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RuPaul’s Drag Race returns with a fresh, fun and fabulous fourth season as 13 glorious queens go heel-to-heel as they compete for the title of “America’s Next Drag Superstar.” The 90-minute premiere kicks off January 30 at 9 PM on Logo. Wigs will fly and drama will run high as the contestants bring their over-thetop attitudes to the drag battle royale. This season, look for Florida contestants Latrice Royale of Ft. Lauderdale as well as Alisa Summers and Lashawn Beyond of Tampa, with a bevy of guest judges including Elvira, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Tilly, Kelly Osbourne, Loretta Devine and Wynonna Judd.

Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton star in Joyful Noise, a funny and inspirational story of music, hope, love and renewal. A small town has fallen on hard times, but the people are counting on the Divinity Church Choir to lift their spirits by winning the National Joyful Noise Competition. The choir has always known how to sing in harmony, but the discord between its two leading ladies now threatens to tear them apart. Their newly appointed director, Vi Rose Hill, wants to stick with their tried-and-true traditional style, while the fiery G.G. Sparrow thinks tried-and-true translates to tired-and-old. Opens Jan 13.

Ani DiFranco’s Jan. 17 release ¿Which Side Are You On?, features 11 new songs alongside a radically reworked rendition of the classic title song, popularized nearly five decades ago, but no less relevant today. Backing DiFranco on this collection is a remarkably diverse lineup of musicians, including guest players Ivan and Cyril Neville, avant-saxophonist Skerik, singer/songwriter Anaïs Mitchell, guitarist Adam Levy, and a host of New Orleans-based horn players. The album represents an extraordinary snapshot of DiFranco’s own life as well her sense of where the country stands at this particular moment in time.

Get ready to pick up a copy of 2012 GRAMMY Nominees album on Jan. 24. The 18th edition of the best-selling series will showcase many of this year’s GRAMMY-nominated artists and songs. Artists/ songs on this 22-track collection include Adele “Rolling in the Deep”, Katy Perry “Firework”, Nicki Minaj “Super Bass”, Rihanna “What’s My Name?”, The Band Perry “If I Die Young”, Lady Antebellum “Just A Kiss”, Lady Gaga “You and I” and more. A portion of the proceeds from sales of the album will help support the year-round efforts of the GRAMMY Foundation and MusiCares.

The Iron Lady, starring Meryl Streep is a surprising and intimate portrait of Margaret Thatcher, the first and only female Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. One of the 20th century’s most famous and influential women, Thatcher came from nowhere to smash through barriers of gender and class to be heard in a male dominated world. Just when you were beginning to think it had been too long since we’d seen her on the big screen creating an Oscar buzz, Meryl is back wow audiences once again. In theaters on Jan 13.

In the new SYFY series Lost Girl, Anna Silk stars as seductress Bo, a Succubus who feeds off sexual energy. Raised by human parents, Bo had no reason to believe she was anything other than the girl next door - until she “drained” her first boyfriend to death. She is one of the Fae, creatures who pass as humans while secretly feeding off them. Faced with choosing between the Dark or Light Fae clans, Bo takes the middle path between the human and Fae worlds while embarking on a mission to unlock the secrets of her origin.

Mondays at 10PM beginning Jan 16.

[

NOT TO BE MISSED: NBC’s 90-minute special Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl from 8-9:30 p.m. followed by a sneak-peek preview of the new comedic hidden-camera series Betty White’s Off Their Rockers on Jan 16.

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C:\My Backup -- 09-02-11 1217PM\111shemag\Jan12\READY\shep13gaspar.cdr Thursday, December 29, 2011 2:56:57 PM

IN THE NEWS THE AQUA FOUNDATION FOR WOMEN SCHOLARSHIP CYCLE HAS BEGUN If you identify as an LBT woman and are a South Florida resident for at least one year, you are elegible to apply for the Aqua Foundation for Women's 2012 scholarship cycle which just began last month. Any woman who identifies as lesbian, bisexual, or transgender who is attending college in Miami-Dade, Broward, or Palm Beach County is encouraged to apply.

If the applicant is accepted she will receive funding for her education as well as the opportunity to work closely with a mentor who has been carefully matched with her.

The AFW’s mentoring program grows stronger with each year and many scholars say it is one of the most important aspects of our scholarship program; it is part of what makes our scholars feel that they are part of a family.

Last year Aqua Foundation gave out 11 scholarships to undergraduates and graduate students, and it is anticipating awarding at least that many scholarships in 2012.

Scholarships were awarded in the amount of $2,500 to $5,200 last year. Visit www.aquafoundation.org to begin the application process today so that you too may have the opportunity of becoming an Aqua scholar. The application deadline is February 27, 2012. Award notification date is April 23, 2012.

REQUIREMENTS FOR THE AFW SCHOLARSHIP: - Scholar will maintain a commitment to academic excellence and will maintain a cumulative GPA of 3.0 or higher - Scholar will conduct herself in a professional manner at all times and serve as a spokesperson for AFW - Scholar will comply with the Mentor Program requirements - Scholar will release AFW to use her image for marketing purposes - Scholar will uphold the mission of AFW and act in a leadership capacity on behalf of lesbian, bisexual and transgender community COMPLETED APPLICATION INCLUDES: - All items filled out on online application - Recent digital photo of applicant - Background check authorization form signed - Scan of Driver License/State Issued ID (1 year prior proves residency) - At least two and no more than three letters of recommendation (at least one of these must be from an individual familiar with your work in the community – no family members) - Most recent academic transcript. Must be sent by the school via email or mail directly to AFW office.

- Applications must be complete before they will be considered.

MINNESOTA GAY COMMUNITY OPEN APOLOGY Open letter from a Minnesota resident on behalf of the state’s LGBTQ community for causing anti-gay GOP state senator Amy Koch to have an extramarital affair. Letter was published by local newspaper City Pages. ..................................................................................

Dear Ms. Koch, On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an “illicit affair” with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of “adultery.”

Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that “gay marriage” is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone’s family. We now see that marriage is more than that.

It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.

From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.

Thank you.

John Medeiros, Minneapolis MN

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On Monday, December 12, 2011 Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer and the Orlando City Commission voted unanimously to create Central Florida’s first domestic partnership registry. The registry, which takes effect January 12th, will extend vital legal protections to gay and lesbian families. Protections offered from the registry are restricted to Orlando City limits but we expect that couples from across the region will be lining up to participate.

When the registry goes into effect, as listed in section 57.84, Registered Domestic Partners shall have the following rights: Health Care Facility Visitation, Health Care Decisions, Funeral/ burial Decisions, Correctional Facility Visitation Rights, Notification of Family Members, Preneed guardian designation, Participation in Education “This is such an important step in our fight for equality and we’re proud to have worked with some of the most dynamic leaders in the City of Orlando,” said Joe Saunders, Equality Florida’s State Field Director in an e-press release. For over a year, Equality Florida has been working with activists from the Orlando Anti-Discrimination Ordinance Committee to lay out the social and business arguments for this important policy.

“I support the domestic partnership registry because I believe it keeps us competitive with other world-class communities,” said Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer. “A domestic partnership registry helps us recruit employers who share our commitment to diversity while attracting and retaining a creative workforce that knows they’ll have protections for their families.”

WHAT

DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP ORDINANCE NO. 2011-54 GOES INTO EFFECT IN ORLANDO, FL ON JANUARY 12, 2012.

WHERE

According to Section 57.81 of the registry, requirements are: (1) Each person is at least eighteen (18) years old and competent to contract; (2) Neither person is currently married under Florida law or is a partner in a domestic partnership relationship or a member of civil union with anyone other than the co-applicant; (3) They are not related by blood as defined in Florida law; (4) Each person considers himself or herself to be a member of the immediate family of the other partner and to be jointly responsible for maintaining and supporting the registered domestic partnership; (5) The partners reside in a mutual residence; and (6) Each person agrees to immediately notify the City Clerk, in writing, if the terms of the Registered Domestic Partnership are no longer applicable or one (1) of the domestic partners wishes to terminate the domestic partnership.

(7) Each person expressly declares their desire and intent to designate their domestic partner as their healthcare surrogate and as their agent to direct the disposition of their body for funeral and burial.

The anticipated fee schedule is as follows: Registration fee: $30, Extra Copy: $5, Termination: $10, Amendments: $10. For more information visit www.cityoforlando.net or call 407.246.2121.

HAIR Jan 10 - Jan 15 • 8PM Kravis Center 701 Okeechobee Blvd. • West Palm Beach kravis.org LBT WOMEN’S CAREER EMPOWERMENT FORUM, STARTING YOUR OWN BUSINESS Jan 12 • 6:30PM - 9PM • Free Event LGBT Visitor Center on Miami Beach 1130 Washington Ave., First Floor North Miami Beach, FL • 305-673-4440 LBTCareerEmpowerment@gmail.com WHOOPI GOLDBERG Jan 13 • 8PM Hard Rock Live One Seminole Way • Hollywood, FL LATINA NIGHT Jan 14 & Jan 28 Recko’s Bar 4910 Edgewater Drive • Orlando, FL 407.730.5991 SHE TEA POOLSIDE DANCE Jan 16 • 2 - 6PM The Depot Cabana & Grill 2935 N. Federal Hwy. • Fort Lauderdale 954.537.7076 • thedepotbar.com ART PALM BEACH Jan 20 - 23 • 12PM - 7PM Palm Beach County Convention Center 650 Okeechobee Blvd. • West Palm Beach artpalmbeach.com CONGREGATION ETZ CHAIM’S HOT DIGGITY DOG DANCE Jan 25 • 6 - 9PM The Pride Center in Wilton Manors etzchaimflorida.org HALCYON LIVE Jan 28 • 8PM - Close The Sandbar at Gaspar’s Grotto Welcoming Olivia Cruisers 1805 East 7th Ave. • Tampa, FL SUPER BOWL XLVI PARTY Recko’s Bar Feb 5 4910 Edgewater Drive • Orlando, FL 407.730.5991

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BY ROBIN BODIFORD, JD MSW

CAN YOU BE DENIED ACCESS TO YOUR CHILD IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP ENDED BADLY? HOW LEGALLY PROTECTED ARE YOU AS AM LGBT PARENT? HERE ARE SOME LEGAL STEPS YOU MUST CONSIDER TAKING IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER OR ADOPTIVE PARENT. We are all basking in the glow of our recent victories in LGBT rights, from the latest great state of New York legalizing gay marriage, to Florida’s lifting the ban on gay adoption last year. We are definitely on a trajectory to equal rights that will not be denied. However, here in Florida, despite our advances, if you are the non-biological or adoptive parent of “your child” conceived or adopted by your partner whether before or during your relationship or domestic partnership, your status as parent is tenuous without further legal steps being taken.

The common scenario is you are in a committed relationship and you and your partner decide that she will inseminate and bear a child, or one of you will adopt a child with the intention that you both will parent this child. Legally, in Florida, the adoptive or birth mother is the only legal parent of the child (assuming the biological father is an anonymous donor or the child is adopted.) Without doing more, the co-parent “parent’s” at the will of the legal parent. If your relationship ends badly, the co-parent can be, and often is, denied any access at all to the child.

On the other hand, the legal parent does not have any right to demand child support for the child she planned that the co-parent would help support.

Now that we have the right to adopt as gays in Florida, there is the possibility of a second parent adoption: this is not prohibitively expensive and will likely create a legal co-parenting obligation of support and right to joint custody in the event of a break-up. This concept of a sameSHE -

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sex second parent adoption is new in Florida. It remains to be seen how courts will treat same-sex families in the event of a dispute over custody and support. Given the fact that the Florida Constitution and Statutes both prohibit recognition of same-sex marriage and any relationship that bears an appearance of marriage (such as a civil union), one has to wonder whether a Florida court would treat a gay family custody case the same as a heterosexual custody case. Time will tell.

A couple that is co-parenting a child will want to create several legal documents that provide the co-parent with some of the rights a legal parent will have, and to protect the interests of the child in the event of death or disability of a parent. First, as the bio-mom is inseminated and her pregnancy advances, a health care surrogate designation can be created that gives the co-parent the right to not only make medical decisions for her pregnant partner, but, also, for the unborn or newly born child. A pre-need guardian designation will serve to assure that both the bio-mom and the baby will be cared for by the co-parent if the bio-mom should become disabled. Once baby is born, the co-parent will also want a document granting her authorization and consent to have temporary custody (i.e., drive the child in her car, or travel, etc.) and consent to make medical decisions for the child.

Parents will want to create a “family will” or “testamentary trust” that will provide for the child in the event that one or both of them should pass away. The biological or adoptive mom(s) will have the right to name a

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guardian of the child when the one or both of them is deceased, as well as choosing who will manage the assets left for the child until s/he is mature enough to handle an inheritance.

As unfair as it is, the biological mother of the child you both planned to raise is going to be in the driver’s seat in the event of a break up unless further legal steps are taken by you as a couple when you are still in the co-parenting state of mind. Our situation differs from the unmarried heterosexual model, as usually the father is the biological parent as well, and the law provides him the same parental rights as though the couple were married. There is the option to enter into a custody and support agreement in which you, as a couple, agree that if you were to part, shared custody and visitation would be provided, as well as continued child support by the non-custodial parent. Unfortunately, this type of contract may or may not be recognized by a Florida court. However, couples may find it helpful to have a written contract setting forth their agreements, which, if recognized, will assure that both the moms and the child will not be left in the lurch in the event of a break up.

Nationally, we’ve come a long way,but we won’t have full equality until same-sex marriage is recognized not only on a state by state basis, but on a Federal level. Especially in Florida, individual legal advice based on your needs and agreements in paramount in planning your LGBT family.

Robin L. Bodiford is an estate planning and bankruptcy attorney serving the needs of the LGBT community in South Florida since 1993.

Visit her website at www.robinbodifordlaw.com.

[Second-Parent Adoption Laws] LGBT parents can petition for second-parent adoption statewide in the 19 states listed below & D.C. Availability is uncertain in 25 states.

Same-sex couples are restricted from petitioning for second-parent adoption in Kentucky, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Utah, Wisconsin.

California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington.

[Stepparent Adoption Laws] LGBT parents can petition for stepparent adoption statewide in 15 states & D.C. No law provides for same-sex stepparent adoption in35 states.

California, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington. * Source: Movement Advancement Project. Based on analysis by MAP and consultation with American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), Lambda Legal, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR).

[S-Sex Couple Raising Children] Alabama 26%, Alaska 28%, Arizona 22%, Arkansas 27%, California 21%, Colorado 19%, Connecticut 20%, Delaware 19%, District of Columbia 10%, Florida 18%, Georgia 25%, Hawaii 21%, Idaho 25%, Illinois 21%, Indiana 23%, Iowa 21%, Kansas 26%,,Kentucky 24%, Louisiana 27%, Maine 17%, Maryland 24%, Massachusetts 19%, Michigan 21%, Minnesota 17%, Mississippi 33%, Missouri 21%, Montana 26%, Nebraska 22%, Nevada 22%, New Hampshire 19%, New Jersey 24%, New Mexico 24%, New York 21%, North Carolina 23%, North Dakota 23%, Ohio 22%,, Oklahoma 26%, Oregon 19%, Pennsylvania 20%, Rhode Island 19%, South Carolina 25%, South Dakota 26%, Tennessee 22%, Texas 27%, Utah 24%, Vermont 20%, Virginia 20%, Washington 18%, West Virginia 24% , Wisconsin 18%, Wyoming 28%. * Source: Movement Advancement Project. Samesex couples raising children list is based on data from the 2010 Census, conducted by the Census Bureau, and analyzed by the The Williams Institute.

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Opened in 2007 and owned by partners Steve & Dennis, Humpy’s Pizza & Panini serves NY-style pizza made with fresh ingredients baked in a modern stone oven with a variety of traditional and specialty pizzas. Since opening its doors, Humpy’s has expanded their menu to include soups, wings, flatbreads and pasta as well as new specialty pizzas. Whether you’re eating in or taking out, Humpy’s Pizza has a very friendly and diverse crew including a talented female pizza maker. When visiting them at the Shoppes Of Wilton Manors, you must have one or more of their HUMP-A-LICIOUS cupcakes. Visit Humpy’s website to view a full menu, see other special promotions, and sign up for the Humpy’s Pizza Club. Gift cards and catering services available. In Feb 2012 Humpy’s will celebrate its 5 year anniversary, you can expect new specialty pizzas such as Spinach, Blue Cheese and Walnut. Watch for new cupcake flavors too. Happy 5th Anniversary Humpy’s Pizza!

LOCATION & HOURS: 2244 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 • 954. 566.2722 • Open 7 Days, Sunday – Wednesday 11AM - 10PM • Thursday – Saturday 11AM - 2AM. Eat in • Take out • Delivery

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3 MOST POPULAR STARTERS: (all pictured) - Garlic Cheese Bread - Toasted Ravioli - Buffalo Wings (Baked, not fried) 3 MOST POPULAR SANDWICHES: - Meatball Hero - Grilled Chicken Hero - Pesto Chicken Panini 3 MOST POPULAR PIZZAS: - Margherita with fresh tomato, mozzarella and basil (top picture) - Rosemary herb chicken with spinach and sundried tomatoes (bottom picture) - Wild Mushroom with sautéed mushrooms and caramelized onions (bottom picture) 3 MOST POPULAR HEALTHY PIZZAS/PASTAS: - Veggie Pizza on honey wheat crust - Chicken Pesto Rotini with multigrain pasta - Spinach, Feta and Walnut Salad with fat-free raspberry dressing MOST POPULAR DESSERT: Jumbo cupcakes baked fresh every morning.

Flavors include Buttercream, Red Velvet, Chocolate, Peanutbutter and Carrot Cake just to name a few (pictured). Available individually, in combo packs or by the dozen. Plus, you can even get cupcakes delivered with your pizza.

CURRENT SPECIALS: - Daily Lunch and Dinner Specials (Slice, salad & soda for $4.99), plus delivery deals.

- $2 Beers on Sunday PRICE RANGE: $2 - $20.

WWW.HUMPYSPIZZA.COM

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BY DENISE WARNER

It’s always good to try something new, like, say..for instance, jazz music! If you take earthy soul, mixed it with some groove, added some silky smoke, and blended it with cool - you have the incredible song stylings of J’ai Michel. As if on cue, her newest CD Introducing J’ai Michel... is out now, so do yourself a favor... and meet the woman who is Sweet Baby J’ai.

YOU HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING VOICE AND EAR FOR MUSIC. HOW MUCH CONSCIOUS EFFORT GOES INTO THE BLEND AND BAND SELECTION TO GET THAT SIGNATURE SOUND? Thank you! I’ve had many musical lives, at least nine so far, like a black cat. I started out playing violin in grade school, switched to popping notes out on bass in high school, took a very serious stab at singing traditional jazz, rock ‘n roll, avant-garde jazz, then blues and soul. What I do today is a mixture of everything I’ve done in the past…all of those styles went into creating my signature sound.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE JAZZ MUSIC IS STARTING TO GET THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES? If you look at the history of the recording industry, jazz was the Queen Mother for three decades until 50’s rock n’ roll bumped it off the charts. Then the soul singers of the 60’s came to town and took ‘em all down. Plaid and polkadot 70’s disco was the life of the party until 80’s metal and 90’s pop soared to the top. Hip-hop, rap, and pop/soul blend, and now it’s time to start all over again. Yes, jazz is back baby, as was evidenced by jazz artist, Esperanza Spaulding winning the 2011 Grammy for Best New Artist.

and never the same way twice. When I write an original tune, I know at each concert it will have new life breathed into it. It’s like giving birth to a baby, I watch it fall and get back up, crawl and walk. It develops with maturity and makes me feel like a proud mama. Jazz has a broad reach as there are many types and styles; jazz-rock, latin jazz, acid jazz, fusion, traditional, neo soul, smooth and several others. It allows for me to bring my whole self to the table. I am thrilled when people come up to me and say, “I never thought I liked jazz, but you have changed my mind.” I love it when that happens, because it means I’ve opened their hearts.

YOU’RE SO DIVERSE, BUT KNOWN MORE FOR YOUR JAZZ STYLINGS. HOW DID YOU CONNECT TO JAZZ? I love jazz because it’s unscripted. It’s about improvisation, which adds a constant element of surprise. The reason players can play an old standard a 100 times and never get tired of it, is because we play it a hundred different ways

YOU’VE SHARED THE STAGE WITH SOME BIG MUSIC NAMES (MELISSA ETHERIDGE, HERBIE HANCOCK, SHEILA E. ETC...). IS THERE ANYONE YOU’D LIKE TO WORK WITH BUT HAVEN’T YET? I missed out on Amy Winehouse, loved her and her band. I know my washboard would blend well with the Dixie Chicks (love their politics),

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Lady Gaga, because that has be hard work, but a roaring fun time, Sting, The Black-eyed Peas, Chucho Valdés and the Afro-Cuban Messengers, Dr. John, Gypsy Kings…I could go on.

YOUR LATEST CD, INTRODUCING J’AI MICHEL... IS A MIX OF R & B, POP, ROCK, BLUES, WITH SOME SPOKEN WORD! TELL US HOW THAT CAME ABOUT? My legal name is J’ai Michel, but I grew up as Sweet Baby because my father said I was the sweetest baby ever born and my mother agreed. When I hit 18 and headed off to college, I wanted to drop my childhood moniker because clearly I could not be called Sweet Baby at school. I thought I had everything all figured out until my life turned upside down. I lost my mom when I was in my twenties. I was devastated. I could not do anything musical for a long time, everything sounded wrong to me. When I finally came out of my funk, I decided to start singing. I chose my parents’ favorite music, jazz. Eventually, I reclaimed Sweet Baby because it reminded me of my mom. I wanted to introduce J’ai Michel because I am asked about my diverse style all the time; J’ai has very eclectic tastes.

SOME PEOPLE SAY WRITING OR PERFORMING IS CATHARTIC FOR THEM. HOW MUCH OF YOURSELF DO YOU PUT INTO YOUR SONGS? Every ounce that I have at the time!

DO YOU FIND YOUR FANS AS LOYAL AS THEY SEEM? I READ ONE COUPLE FROM THE UK SAW YOU IN TOKYO, NEW YORK AND NOW LA! Some of my fans and I have grown up together. I recently became reacquainted with a couple who were talking about seeing me at Santa Monica’s AT MY PLACE opening for Billy Vera, Carl Anderson, and Rickie Lee Jones in the 80s! I am always thrilled when I am on the road and look up to see a familiar face in the audience. My fans are like friends and family, even if I don’t know them personally I know that we have touched one another in some way. It’s a very special moment when my audience and I connect heart to heart.

HAS BEING AN OUT LESBIAN IMPACTED YOUR CAREER, EITHER IN A GOOD OR BAD WAY? Everyone who knew me personally knew I was gay and I was okay with that…until I was not - until it was not enough.

I began to feel confined and counterfeit. How could I be authentic in my music if I was not in my life? At the time, my manager advised against it saying, “The jazz world is homophobic and very unforgiving”. But I knew Melissa, Ellen and k.d. lang had come out with seemingly little consequences, and although Ellen took a hit she came back stronger than ever. My manager also pointed out to me that those divas were big pop stars with big bank accounts and could afford to sit out for a while and that I could not. It was a very precarious time in my personal and professional life. When I decided to come out, there was no conscious decision. I was on stage in Alaska when

I announced, “My name is Sweet Baby J’ai and I am a Lesbian!” I cried, the audience erupted and we laughed and cried out together. I was on my first Olivia cruise in front of 1000 women. I felt loved, I felt validated and liberated. Was my career impacted? Yes. Was it impacted in a negative way? No, though at first glance you would think so. I lost a huge portion of my audience, my manager and partner. The path I was on disappeared from the horizon. But my binds were broken. I no longer feel tied to someone else’s idea of what my life should look like. Now I am happy and healthy. I have a beautiful family and partner that I love and adore. I have no regrets; as my new song, No Regrets reflects on: “Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regret - So love the people who treat you right - And for all the other ones Say goodbye, farewell, goodnight”

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AUTHENTIC IN MY MUSIC IF I WAS NOT IN MY LIFE? AT THE TIME, MY MANAGER

WITH SO MANY MUSIC INFLUENCES THROUGHOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD, WHOSE SONGS DO YOU LOVE TO SING WHEN YOU’RE JUST HANGING AROUND THE HOUSE? Billie Holiday still slays me; her voice is full of emotion.

WHAT DRAWS YOU TO A PROJECT OR INSPIRES YOU? That’s a good question. It is different with every project; something I hear or see; some emotion that sweeps me off my feet. I find inspiration in books, friends, whispers, experiences, and especially my g-babies’ smiles.

THE 2012 NATIONAL WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH THEME IN MARCH IS WOMEN’S EDUCATION – WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT. AS AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN & OUT-LESBIAN, DO YOU EVER REFLECT ON HOW FAR WE AS WOMEN HAVE COME AND HAVE ACCOMPLISHED? Bessie Smith was the highest paid entertainer in America in the 1920’s, yet she died because they would not treat her at a local hospital because she was a black woman.

She was buried in a pauper’s unmarked grave. I pay homage to those who came before me and paved the way for me to be a Lesbian of Color. I honor Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth and Ida B. Wells who were some of the first African-American suffrage leaders. I acknowledge the efforts of Fannie Lou Hamer and Rosa Parks who continued the fight in the Civil Rights movement. Billie Holiday sang “Strange Fruit” prompting people living outside the southern states to take notice of the atrocities happening in the South. Music has always played a role informing and transforming. Now we have three female justices on the Supreme Court, a female Speaker of the House and have had three female Secretary of States. I hope to see a female president soon. Yes, we have come a long way and although we still have quite a distance to go, it is important to acknowledge our accomplishments.

I stand on the shoulders of all those amazing women that came before me.

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ADVISED AGAINST IT SAYING, ‘THE JAZZ WORLD IS HOMOPHOBIC AND VERY UNFORGIVING’.”

SINCE THIS IS AN ELECTION YEAR, I MUST ASK IF YOU ENJOY POLITICS? IS THE GAY AGENDA A BIG FACTOR FOR YOU WHEN IT COMES TO CASTING YOUR VOTE? DEMOCRAT? REPUBLICAN? OTHER? I don’t understand the concept of Gay Republicans. I’m just saying…

WHAT’S THE BEST PART OF BEING SWEET BABY J’AI? Being able to identify my multiple personalities! [laughing] When I’m on stage, I am always pleasantly surprised when I hear my Aunt Sunbeam’s voice come out, or my hard rocking college roommate’s brassy bravado, and Little Henry’s unbelievable stories. I love that I have learned so many lessons in life and that I have so many more to learn. I love that I am a songwriter; a producer; a teacher; independent; naïve; a great mother; femme and butch; wild and untamed; a conservative bleeding heart liberal with Midwestern values; a lover and wife, grandmother, history buff, an actress, caretaker, confident, movie lover, energetic, inquisitive…all that and more. It is fun being Sweet Baby J’ai.

WHAT’S A GREAT NIGHT FOR YOU? STAY AT HOME, HIT A CLUB, TV, DANCING, COOKING....?

I work in clubs, so staying home with my baby, cooking something wonderful (gluten and dairy free), watching old movies and catching up on my TVO’d shows like Dexter, Weeds, Homeland, HGTV and my guilty pleasures, The Housewives of New York and Atlanta, definitely trumps the night life option. I am always so busy doing something out and about. To me vegging out in front of the TV sounds as good as soaking in a hot tub with a glass of wine. I can get the tub and wine in a hotel room on the road, but being curled up on the couch is a rarity for me.

YOU’VE PERFORMED ON AN OLIVIA CRUISE AND WILL GO ON ANOTHER CRUISE LEAVING FROM TAMPA, FL LATER THIS MONTH. HOW DID YOU LIKE THAT AS A PERFORMER AND HOW DID YOU LIKE HANGING OUT WITH ALL THOSE WOMEN? Traveling with Olivia is an amazing experience. Once you’ve taken one trip with them, you will never want to take a “regular” cruise again. They have an aphorism “feel free” and that is exactly how you feel when you are traveling with over 1200 like—minded women…free. Olivia is a family run business; management, staff, entertainers, guests, all extended family. If you live in places where you have to be in the closet, Olivia provides an opportunity for total freedom during your vacation.

YOUR AUDIENCE IS INTERNATIONAL AND YOU’VE PLAYED IN SUCH AMAZING VENUES, BUT IS THERE SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT WHEN YOU PERFORM FOR AN LGBT EVENT? I consider it a great privilege to be making a living with my music and living in a community where I am accepted and can feel safe being the person I am. But I know there are thousands of people, especially young people who do not feel safe enough to live honestly. It is important for entertainers, especially those who are gay, to give back to our communities. I always feel a special connection when performing for a LGBT event; it’s my community. The LGBT community has struggled for equality for years both against prejudice and hatred. And even though we have made some strides recently with the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the same-sex marriage constitutional amendments sweeping the nation (So goes Ohio, so goes the nation), there is still a lot more to be done. I work with organizations to raise funds to advance the fight for our rights. I am inspired and motivated by our unwavering ability to never give up.

“...I PAY HOMAGE TO THOSE WHO CAME BEFORE ME AND PAVED THE WAY FOR ME TO BE

A LESBIAN OF COLOR.

I HONOR

HARRIET TUBMAN, SOJOURNER TRUTH AND IDA B. WELLS WHO WERE SOME OF THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN SUFFRAGE LEADERS. I ACKNOWLEDGE THE EFFORTS OF FANNIE LOU HAMER AND ROSA PARKS WHO CONTINUED THE FIGHT IN THE

RIGHTS MOVEMENT...”

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CHRYS / Wilton Manors, FL / Feb

ASHLEY / Orlando, FL / Mar

OLYA / Miami Beach, FL / Apr

SARA / Miami, FL / May

SHANA / Ft. Lauderdale, FL / Jun

DIANA / Palm Coast, FL / Jul

ASHLEY / Hollywood, FL / Aug

IVY / Orlando, FL / Sept

JESABEL / Miami Beach, FL / Oct

YARIS / Orlando, FL / Nov

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CHRISTINA / Fort Myers, FL / Dec

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VES ON THE SHEL SHELVES

BY MARISSA COHEN

Miller is best known for 1969’s PATIENCE AND SARAH, a beautiful and witty love story about artist Patience White and “farmboy” Sarah Dowling as they find a way to set up house together despite 19th century conventions.

Loosely based on a true story, Patience and Sarah is for everyone who ever wanted Little House on the Prairie with a side order of lesbian romance. (Miller’s fantastic, little-known sequel Side

by Side is about the 20th century reincarnations of Patience and Sarah.) In 1998, Patience and Sarah even became an acclaimed opera.

RUBYFRUIT JUNGLE by Rita May Brown: Long before her Sneaky Pie Brown mysteries were all over the shelves, Rita May Brown’s Molly Bolt was determined to live loud and proud in this 1973 classic about a Florida lesbian’s coming of age. Determined and unapologetic, Molly Bolt is one of the most memorable characters in lesbian literature.

(Fun Fact: Like her fictional counterpart, Brown also attended the University of Florida.)

ANNIE ON MY MIND by Nancy Garden: When Nancy Garden (featured in the recent Dear Bully) wrote this awardwinning young adult classic in 1982, she had no idea it would take on the life that it has. This novel about young love between Liza and Annie is consistantly one of the world’s most banned and challenged books and was the center of a years-long censorship battle, which was eventually resolved with the help of the ACLU. Since then, Nancy Garden now champions on behalf of censorship issues. I had a chance to interview Garden on The Movement Within Radio Show in 2010.

To hear it, go to www.blogtalkradio.com/themovementwithin/2010/12/ 13/the-movement-within-radio.

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Submit your pet photos for consideration to info@shemag.com, re: Pets of the Month.

PETS OF THE MONTH

SHAY / 4 YRS OLD

PRINCESS TEAGAN TIARA / 4 YRS OLD

BREED: Bassett Hound and Jack Russel mix TURN ONS: Food, treats, dog park, and fireplace TURN OFFS: Loud noises, bathes, and airplanes I AM SPECIAL BECAUSE: I don't take anything seriously I THINK MY VET IS: A great treat dispenser MY MOM DOESN’T KNOW I OCCASIONALLY: Sleep on the bed IN MY NEXT LIFE, I WANT TO BE: My mom's cat, then I could climb on everything

BREED: Female Pomeranian TURN ONS: Pupperoni's, long walks and bye bye rides with my mommies in my car seat TURN OFFS: My brother Loki, swimming and brushes.

I AM SPECIAL BECAUSE: I get to travel and go everywhere with the ones I love.

I THINK MY VET IS: The best Vet in the world. She is my Auntie.

MY MOMMIES DON’T KNOW I OCCASIONALLY: Sneak treats IN MY NEXT LIFE, I WANT TO BE: The Queen

?

JUST 4 PET FUN . JUST 4 PET FUN . JUST 4 PET FUN . JUST 4 PET FUN .........................UNDER $15.00

HUMUNGA TONGUE DOG TOY This is just too funny to not include, a ball and tongue all in one. So much easier to handle for big boys, the Humunga Tongue is a great catch/fetch-it toy but it’s also awesome for tongue o’ war. It can also pass as an attention getter with the girls!

Measures 10 inches long. Made of nontoxic natural rubber. >> $12.99, perpetualkid.com

LEOPARD BRA DOG TOY For my femme furry friends, here is the Leopard Bra Dog Toy. Adorned with a little red bow in the middle, it has a squeaker toy in each cup The bra straps are made with heavy duty rope to create some great tug-o-war matches between two dogs or you and your pup! >>$11.99, perpetualkid.com

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FROLICAT SWAY MAGNETIC CAT TOY Keep your kitty immersed in play with the FroliCat Sway Magnetic Cat Toy. Simply attach each magnetic side to opposite sides of a table or shelf and start swinging the ball and feather for your cat to play! Use at your desk, coffee table, bookshelf, and more! >>$14.99, perpetualkid.com

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Are you ready for the largest lesbian cruises yet? Olivia Travel’s 40th Anniversary Southern Caribbean Cruises set sail January 27 – February 3, 2013 and February 3-10, 2013 from Ft. Lauderdale, FL to celebrate this momentous occasion. Want to be part of the biggest lesbian celebrations afloat? Hop onboard Holland America’s luxurious Nieuw Amsterdam with the women of Olivia.

Before Olivia could even announce these landmark sailings to the public, the first ship of 2,100 passengers was 90% sold out. Part of the attraction is that the ship is filled with women so you can be out and free the entire week; Olivia always charters the whole ship. “Even if you are out all the time in the world, there’s nothing like being in the majority every minute of every day on your vacation,” said Judy Dlugacz, President and Founder of Olivia.

Part of Olivia’s allure is the entertainment and activities, from lesbian comedians and bands, to top DJs, wet-n-wacky pool games, and poker tournaments. And they’ve certainly pulled out all the stops for their 40th Anniversary. Presenting over 20 recording artists and comedians, as well as soon-to-be-announced speakers and prominent DJs, this will be the greatest festival of talent ever to perform on an Olivia cruise.

The cruises will also feature parties, dances,

incredible excursions like swimming with dolphins and ATV rides, a singles/solos program, a commitment ceremony for couples, and much more. “This is the biggest celebration of our community that Olivia has produced to date. It will be a giant reunion, celebration, entertainment extravaganza and tropical vacation all rolled into one,” remarked Tisha Floratos, Olivia’s Vice President of Travel.

Of course, there are also the gorgeous Southern Caribbean ports. Half Moon Cay, Bahamas is a private island that will belong to the women of Olivia for the day. Playing on white sandy beaches, floating in bright blue Caribbean waters, and a little friendly competition during the “Olivia Olympics” make for a fabulous day.

Willemstad, Curacao is another highlight, with vivid, sherbet-colored buildings, upscale shopping, and optional excursions. Oranjestad, Aruba’s alabaster beaches make for yet another fantastic day surrounded by women. There are lots of fun optional excursions, too, like a catamaran snorkel & beach getaway, scuba diving and off-road 4-wheel-drive adventures. Back onboard in the evenings, there will be shows, dances and parties.

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tivities, the ship boasts a Culinary Arts Center, an expanded Greenhouse Spa and Salon with thermal suites and hydro-pool, a casino, and the largest gym on the Holland America Line.

If it sounds like there will be a lot of celebrating, that’s because there is a lot to celebrate. If you’re not familiar with Olivia’s history, here is a short version of the last 40 years.

As a women’s record company, Olivia sold over a million albums and as a travel company Olivia has taken over 125,000 women on more than 170 trips around the world. “Olivia’s first “concerts on a cruise” in 1990 were met with tremendous enthusiasm. “History has repeated itself—the first cruise ship we chartered sold out so quickly that we had to add a second sailing, and the same thing happened with our 30th, and now 40th, anniversary cruises. When we started back in 1973, we didn’t realize we’d evolve into the largest travel company for lesbians, but our focus has always been on the lesbian community and this was a natural extension of bringing women together,” said Dlugacz.

Olivia is also known for giving back wherever they go—from birding supplies donated to an indigenous women’s group in Costa Rica to food and school supplies for orphans and underprivileged children in Mexico and Central America, Olivia and its guests make a differ-

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ence through the Olivia Gives program. Olivia has also contributed millions of dollars to local and national LGBT organizations including the National Center for Lesbian Rights, Human Rights Campaign, The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, and scores of other community and advocacy organizations across the US and around the world. So you can definitely expect a side of feel-good giving when you board that ship, because the 40th Anniversary Cruises will be no exception.

Forty years is a major milestone for any lesbian company, and Olivia’s success speaks to the deep bond between Olivia and its travelers, affectionately referred to as “The Olivia Family”. “It’s a bond unparalleled by any company, anywhere, and we will honor that connection with these two extraordinary sailings,” promised Dlugacz.

For more information on booking your next vacation call 800-631-6277 or visit WWW.OLIVIA.COM.

“

IT’S A BOND UNPARALLELED

BY ANY COMPANY, ANYWHERE, AND WE WILL HONOR THAT CONNECTION WITH THESE TWO EXTRAORDINARY SAILINGS.”

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BY NADINE SMITH

Despite a long history of hostility toward gay people and our families, Florida law has taken a quantum leap forward since Equality Florida formed 15 years ago. We’ve led coalitions around adoption, safe schools and family recognition that have shifted the landscape and improved the daily lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Floridians.

Last year we created a map of local policy victories across the state to show the incredible changes that have happened across the state.

That map is already out of date as new victories carve out significant legal protections for LGBT Floridians in large metro areas and small rural communities alike. [ FAMILY RECOGNITION ] We’ve passed more than 10 family recognition policies in Central Florida alone in the passed three years and are poised to celebrate the passage of Domestic Partnership benefits in Orlando.

One of the biggest victories this year was passage of an Equal Benefits Ordinance (EBO) in Broward County. Broward spends roughly $3.2 billion annually on contracts and the passage

of an EBO in Broward will cause employers to adapt their policies to remain competitive. [ ADOPTION ] November 2011 marked the one-year anniversary of the end of Florida’s notorious anti-gay adoption ban. After 33 years the courts finally struck down the Anita Bryant inspired law that banned gay people for being able to adopt. Hundreds of gay and lesbian parents have been able to legally become the parents of the children they’ve been raising for years as co-parents or as foster parents. The fall of the ban was both a legal, educational and political victory. Years of education and lobbying shifted public opinion and sapped political opposition among elected leadership in Tallahassee to defend the ban.

Despite the fact that the majority of Floridians support the end of this discriminatory adoption law, anti-gay groups have vowed to try and reinstate the ban via constitutional amendment. We will continue to celebrate those families who have the legal protections they need and we will prepare to defend this victory wherever a threat arises. [ SAFE SCHOOLS ] When we began 15 years ago, no school had an SHE -

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anti-bullying policy that included sexual orientation or gender identity. Today 60% of students go to school in districts that have enumerated categories that include both. It is a quantum leap forward made possible by our work passing a statewide anti-bullying bill in 2008. We also create the Florida Gay-Straight Alliance Network to assist students in the creation and continuity of their GSAs. Today we have the fastest growing GSA Network in the country and are working directly with the school districts to provide students with organizing skills and leadership training. [ WORKPLACE EQUALITY ] All protections for LGBT families begin with the ability to work and provide for oneself and family. We have been extremely successful in passing non-discrimination policies in communities throughout the state, while continuing to push for change at the state level. Among our 2011 victories is the passage of a Human Rights Ordinance (HRO) in both Orange and Volusia Counties. We’ve built bridges into the business community where support for non-discrimination policies continues to grow. Some 70 businesses and organizations have filed a brief in federal court opposing the Defense of Marriage Act and are highlighting the harm to American companies caused by marriage discrimination against gay people. [ 2012 ] As session begins this month, Equality Florida is preparing for our statewide lobby days Feb 6th and 7th. Community activists from across the state will help push for passage of the Florida Competitive Workforce Act that would add sexual orientation and gender identity to Florida’s civil rights law. We will also garner support for a statewide Domestic Partnership law that provides crucial rights for couples who the state refused to recognize as married.

The latest report from the Human Rights Campaign shows that protections based on gender identity are becoming commonplace among major employers across the country. In Florida we’ve launched EqualityMeansBusiness.org to spotlight our state’s employers who are standing up for equality.

As we prepare to celebrate 15 years of change and frustration, victories and setbacks, it is important to reflect on how much we have achieved together. We savor all of these crucial victories even as we prepare for more work ahead.

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NOTICIAS OTORGAN POR PRIMERA VEZ PENSION A LESBIANA POR MUERTE DE SU PAREJA La ecuatoriana Janneth Peña informó que recibirá la pensión mensual, y todos los beneficios de la seguridad social, de su compañera fallecida Thalía Álvarez, en un hecho que se considera histórico en Ecuador.

Peña dijo que se trata de “un logro y un avance” para la comunidad LGBT de su país, pues se trata de la primera vez que ocurre en Ecuador.

De ahora en adelante el Instituto Ecuatoriano de Seguridad Social (IESS) otorgará los beneficios de ley a personas en situaciones similares a la de Peña, según dijo a Efe una fuente de la institución.

La mujer destacó que tras “años de lucha que ha tenido la comunidad LGBT” ahora pueden constituir legalmente una unión de hecho, y

queda sentado el derecho a recibir todos los beneficios de la pareja fallecida.

Estos beneficios se conceden con base en la Constitución, aprobada en 2008, que señala que quienes hayan mantenido una unión estable y monógama entre dos personas libres de vínculo matrimonial y que formen un hogar de hecho tendrán los mismos derechos y obligaciones que las familias constituidas mediante el matrimonio.

La difunta Thalia Álvarez fue una reconocida activista feminista, defensora de los derechos humanos, de las mujeres y de la comunidad LGBT, luchadora por la equidad de género y co-fundadora de la Corporación Humanas en Ecuador.

VISITANOS EN INTERNET Y CONECTATE A TU COMUNIDAD, WWW.SHEMAG.COM

DENUNCIAN ATAQUES HOMOFOBICOS CONTRA CLUB LESBICO EN CHILLAN, CHILE El Club Social Frida Kahlo, que organiza anualmente las marchas por la diversidad sexual en Chillán, Chile, ha sido víctima de ataques verbales y lanzamiento de botellas en las últimas semanas de Diciembre pasado. Desconocidos intentaron incendiar el local, según denunció el Movimiento de Integración y Liberación Homosexual (Movilh). El Club ha sido objeto en las últimas semanas de “variados ataques homofóbicos, sin que hasta ahora Carabineros implemente las medidas preventi-vas mínimas y necesarias para evitar los lamentables episodios”, dijo representante de Movilh.

El organismo añadió que “esta situación ha ido de mal el peor. Grupo de desconocidos iniciaros con ataques verbales, luego lanzaron botellas contra el local y quemaron pasto seco y papeles en las puertas del recinto con la intención de

incendiarlo, lo que ya es un peligro mayor que merece ser con urgencia ser abordado por la autoridad local”.

La presidenta del Club Social Frida Kahlo, Jacqueline Ortega, precisó que “nuestro local no podrá funcionar este fin de semana por daños que por suerte sólo fueron menores. Sin embargo, hay temor de que esto pase a mayores, por lo que exigimos a las autoridades locales implementar ya medidas preventivas y sancionar a los responsables”.

El incendio se inició un Jueves a eso de las 03:47 horas, propagándose el fuego hasta el segundo piso del edificio, donde habita la dueña del edificio y su familia, pudiendo evitarse una tragedia mayor gracias a la presencia de Bomberos, dijo Ortega.

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LLAMA LA ONU A ABOLIR EJECUCIONES DE PERSONAS GAY La Alta Comisionada de la ONU para Derechos Humanos, Navi Pillay, llamó a los gobiernos a abolir la discriminación legal contra los homosexuales, incluyendo la pena de muerte por relaciones sexuales consensuales, días después de que el gobierno estadounidense dijese que empleará ayuda exterior y diplomacia para promover igualdad de derechos para el sector.

La comisionada Pillay dijo que los países deben además abolir toda forma de abuso basada en orientación sexual y establecer la misma edad de consentimiento para la actividad heterosexual y homosexual.

Pillay hizo estas recomendaciones a través de un informe dado a conocer ante el Consejo de Derechos Humanos de la ONU, que en junio 2011 aprobó la primera resolución de condena a la discriminación antigay. Esa votación fue calificada de histórica por Estados Unidos, países europeos y otros, pero criticada por algunas naciones africanas y musulmanas.

“Los gobiernos y organismos intergubernamentales a menudo han pasado por alto actos de violencia y discriminación basados en orientación sexual e identidad de género’’, dijo.

El informe critica la existencia de pena de muerte para relaciones homosexuales en al menos cinco países: Irán, Mauritania, Arabia Saudita, Sudán y Yemen además de leyes que explícitamente penalizan a los gays en 76 países.

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12/29/2011, 2:24 PM

CON VERONICA ESPINAL

SOY MUJER

¿SERÁ QUE NO TENEMOS TIEMPO? “Don’t take it for granted”. Todavía estoy buscando una traducción a esa frase que me convenza. La traducción literal, según varios traductores, es: “No dé por sentado” o “No de por hecho”. Aunque raramente escuchamos esta expresión, cuando damos algo por sentado queremos afirmar algo, bien podría ser dar por sentado que la Tierra es redonda.

Es así. Creo que si traduzco eso al inglés mas bien seria: “It’s a fact. It’s a fact the Earth is round”.

Buscando en los diccionarios, encontramos que la palabra “grant” tiene varios significados. Igual puede ser un verbo, un sujeto, un adverbio y un adjetivo. Pero encontré un significado en inglés que define la frase mencionada anteriormente. El significado traducido es: Usar, aceptar o tratar con indiferencia o descuido algo. Por ejemplo: Un matrimonio puede llegar al fracaso si una de las personas empieza a tratar a la otra con indiferencia o descuido. O sea, cuando no valoramos algo o a alguien.

En el año 2010, en época de fiestas, el 35% de las fatalidades por accidentes de auto en Florida fueron relacionadas al abuso del alcohol o a consecuencia de un chofer embriagado. Es de imaginarse que el mes pasado se mantuvieron o aumentó el número. Esas personas trataron con indiferencia y descuido sus vidas y la de los demás. Y no lo digo por juzgar. Es sencillamente la verdad, sino pregúntale a algún sobreviviente que haya quedado parapléjico y veras que te dice.

Mi pareja desde hace unos meses decidió tener varios pájaros, específicamente los llamados lovebirds. Dos de los ocho que tiene los crió desde muy pequeños, cuando todavía estaban feísimos y no se les ve forma de pájaro “exótico” alguna. Son hermanos o gemelos porque lo que hacia uno, lo hacia el otro. Todo este lo comento porque el mes pasado casi perdimos a uno de ellos. Por accidente, los dos fueron golpeados por uno de los abanicos de techo de la casa mientras nosotros no estábamos. Uno fue golpeado más que el otro. Hoy en día aquellos pajaritos que eran un amor, que volaban juntos y se posaban sobre los hombros ya no son los mismos. Pero siguen vivos y ahora nos toca seguir dándoles amor y cuidar, a uno de ellos como a uno de esos jóvenes que quedaron parapléjicos como consecuencia de un accidente.

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No es nada fácil ver las consecuencias de un accidente en un animalito tan frágil. Recuerdo cuanto nos dolía la sola idea de poder perderlo. Y me puse a pensar después, ¿A cuántas cosas o personas en nuestro alrededor tratamos con indiferencia, descuido o no le damos la atención necesaria? ¿Será que realmente no tenemos tiempo? ¿Será que realmente no tenemos tiempo para dar una caricia al perro, al gato, al párajo o a la mascota que tengas? ¿Será que realmente no tenemos tiempo de mandar un texto, un email o hacer una llamada rápida por teléfono? ¿No será más bien que damos por “sentado” la amistad, el cariño o el amor de esas personas o de esas mascotas que no hacemos el tiempo para reafirmarlo? Claro, sé que muchas veces nos dejamos envolver por las otras responsabilidades y exigencias de ciertos deberes, solo que tenemos que usar el termómetro interno para darnos cuentas de cuándo estamos cerca del limite. Nuestra vida también es tan frágil como la ese pajarito que ahora hace la mitad de lo que antes.

El mes pasado también estuve viendo, por primera vez, la transmisión del famoso Teletón de México (www.teleton.org). Si esas historias no te ablandan el corazón y te abren la billetera para ayudar a tu capacidad, no se que lo hará. Esos niños y sus familias seguramente también dieron por hecho o sentado la salud de sus hijos, pero no fue así. Y si abrimos mas los ojos nos daremos cuenta de cuántas cosas a nuestro alrededor tratamos con indiferencia y descuido.

Ahora que empezamos un nuevo año, yo no he hecho ni hago una lista de metas, prefiero fijarlas día por día. No se si es bueno o no, pero es así. Lo que si tengo claro es que haré el propósito de apreciar más lo que y a quien tengo a mí alrededor.

“¿NO SERÁ MÁS BIEN QUE DAMOS POR ‘SENTADO’ LA AMISTAD, EL CARIÑO O EL AMOR DE ESAS PERSONAS O DE ESAS MASCOTAS QUE NO HACEMOS EL TIEMPO PARA REAFIRMARLO?” 33 -

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12/29/2011, 2:24 PM

JAN ‘03

TO YZ CORNER TOYZ

BY MATERIAL GIRL

You might still be getting over the Holidays and the long shopping list but Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Whether it is a new girlfriend or because your toy box is screaming for an update, here are some ideas to be used in the bedroom, the kitchen or wherever you choose. Visit our friends at KITTYSTOYBOX.COM and save 25% and free shipping on selected items. There is also free shipping on 2 of their VixSkin toys (while supplies last,) the Mustang VixSkin Vanilla and the Woody Vibe, both made of silicone with a skin-like feel. Let’s go shopping only and have a naughty Valentine’s Day!

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CLIMAX LONG DISTANCE DOLPHIN Go swimming and get wet with this dolphin! It operates via wireless remote controller or on its own. Wireless infrared controller works from up to 20ft, variable speed, rotation, waterproof, multi-speed. >> Sale price $63.75 + free shipping

PETITE LUCID DREAMS Petite 7" virtually silent waterproof, multispeed vibrator and grape flavored lube.

Spread it on, lick it off! >> Sale price $13.50 / $4.50 + free shipping

KAMA SUTRA OILS AND PAUL & PAULINA You know it is all about giving the perfect foreplay. Try the strawberries & champagne oils. The pleasing design and palpable structure of Paul and the little Paulina guarantee a great deal of fun as it provides vaginaand clitoral stimulation. Keep your toys in the secret in the faux-fur pillow and leave it right on your bed. Last but not least, flavor-free, scent-free, non-staining and long-lasting. Water-based, gluten-free, and glycerin-free—Sliquid H2O is a great choice if you're prone to yeast infections. * indicates free shipping on product. Free DVD on all orders.

>> Oils, Sale price $11.25* >> Hide-Your-Vibe Pillow, Sale price $20.25* >> Paul & Paulina, Sale price $52.50* >> Sliquid Lubricant, Regular price $12 SHE -

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SHE CLASSIFIEDS EVENTS

ACCOMMODATIONS

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THE HIGHLANDS INN — LESBIAN PARADISE! Planet Out says “1 of the 10 best g/l guesthouses in North America!” Year-round women’s resort in Bethlehem, NH. 19 romantic rooms, 100 acres! Member of World’s Foremost Gay & Lesbian Hotels. 1-877-LES-B-INN • highlandsinn-nh.com.

COMMUNITY GROUPS/ORGANIZATIONS

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Email us at: info@shemag.com.

Advertising in She: A Lot More Affordable Than You Think.

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SHE CLASSIFIEDS PROPERTY MANAGEMENT

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SELL SOMETHING YOU LOVE Sales representatives (FT or PT) in Dade, Broward, Palm Beach counties needed. Unlimited earning potential and some of the highest commissions in the industry! Sales experience, professionalism and a love for She a MUST! Orlando/Tampa Reps. welcome, too! Send resumes to info@shemag.com.

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SHE SCOPES

WITH THE VILLAGE SAGE

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 19

LEO JULY 23 - AUG 23

You’re up for a little self-reflection, measuring the reality you find yourself in against the fantasy you wish to create. Strive to find inner peace, as circumstances may stir up consternation. Remember, how you react is the only thing in life you can control. Enjoy the quality people and the things in your life, and release the unpleasant immediately. Of course, you’ll be thinking up new ways to increase your income, meeting new and influential people and putting your plans into motion.

The time is finally right to improve the quality of life by enthusiastically embarking on (and committing to) your self-improvement regime. That includes ridding yourself of clutter, whether it’s stuff in your home or in your head.

Strive to be the new and improved version of you. While change is good, cutting corners to get from here to there is not. Be patient, review often, and smile.

PISCES FEB 20 - MAR 20

VIRGO AUG 24 - SEPT 23

You’ll enjoy reconnecting with old friends and making new ones, as the Universe is pushing you to go out and play. Use this opportunity to increase your business income by letting people know your goals, but not your blueprint for achieving them. You have a vision of what you want, and now you have the ability to satisfy both in new and different ways. Creating and sticking to a realistic budget is key to your future success.

People and circumstances will conspire to make you lose your temper in ways that will not help you succeed.

Instead of losing your temper, find ways to identify and discuss problems, and then prepare to listen with an ear towards compromise, and an open mind. That will ensure a romantic-comedy-adventure of a month, rather than a month of melodrama. There will also be new business ideas and opportunities for future projects.

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19

LIBRA SEPT 24 - OCT 23

You’ll have to cooperate and compromise more than usual in order to accomplish anything. Do what you have to do to keep the peace and ensure success, and do it graciously. Be careful to avoid conflict and actually follow through with promises. While you have no problem going against authority, you will have a problem if you disappoint the significant others in your life.

You’ll have to do your famous balancing act, as the atmosphere is emotionally charged everywhere you go. You’ll also need to give equal attention to home and loved ones as you do your work. The solution lies in adopting an attitude of gratitude that you have so many tasks to do( and so many loved ones to consider. Don’t allow others to drag you into their negativity or force showdowns. Choose your words carefully.

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20

SCORPIO OCT 24 - NOV 22

You’ve got the drive, the ambition, and the grand plan.

In order to achieve the success you crave, you’ve got to relax your rigid, “my way or the highway” stance, and be ready to take valid suggestions and make smart decisions. Practice being flexible, as circumstances are certainly going to necessitate some zigging and zagging. You know where you want to go. Enjoy a grand adventure by taking different routes to get there.

You can calm troubled waters when family dynamics and emotions throw everyone else off balance. Even though opinions and ideas on how to handle any situation are very different from one another, each one needs to be examined for its merit in order for everyone to have a fair chance at being heard. Meantime, you’ll be having fun toodleing around the neighborhood, and exploring new experiences.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 21

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23 - DEC 21

You’ll need to be more practical about how to improve the circumstances in your everyday life, including your finances and your relationships. It’s hard enough to reach an agreement within yourself, let alone have to negotiate with all of the significant others in your life.

Don’t get further in debt. Instead, pay down what you already owe, take stock of what you already have, and project what you’ll need. Use your creativity, but be realistic too.

Your focus is on improving your finances. However, you’re reluctant to make a commitment to change your course of action, even if it hasn’t been successful so far. That’s not to say you should just stop. You need to actively create a better situation for yourself, and that’s best accomplished by networking yourself, and most importantly, by presenting an actual plan detailing what you can do. Meantime, stick to the budget.

CANCER JUNE 22 - JULY 22

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

You’ll have to balance your emotions with the reality of situations, as you’re more sensitive than usual. There is room for improvement in your master plan and in your communication skills. Remember it’s not what you say that others respond to, it’s how you say it. Network yourself and your skills whenever and wherever possible. Be part of the solution when faced with uncertainty in your present situation. Don’t allow negative feelings to shape your future.

You have an opportunity to re-invent yourself completely or to become the new, improved version of yourself.

Either way, you win. Your take charge attitude inspires others to follow wherever you lead, just don’t let that go to your head. While brainstorms come fast and furious, it’s your organizational skills, your follow-through and your commitment that will ensure your success in whatever you undertake. Just don’t get over-emotional.

The Village Sage is a freelance writer and astologer, who is available for consultations and charts. You can reach her by e-mail at info@shemag.com.

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C:\My Backup -- 09-02-11 1217PM\111shemag\dec11\ready\shep02sweet.cdr Wednesday, November 30, 2011 8:19:25 PM